Sadists Eric Romm wrote in The Art of Loving, something that amounted to the true nature of the sadist

. That the sadist will tear a person apart trying to discover their secret. I always thought it hideously presumptuous for the beasts not to ask. How they arrogently assume to know anything about me or my inner workings. In 1991 Val told me she took out an insurance policy for $25,000 naming me as the beneficiary. She said I was the only one she trusted and she hadn't changed her mind even though I reminded her that I didn't feel the same about Brandy since she caused me all of that drama by slandering us to everyone. Val forgets that while she got alot of mileage out of Brandy's She later showed it to me when we (the kids and I ) visited a few months later. She said she'd give me a copy when she had my name fixed on it. They had an a instead of an o in my name. I knew she had aids. I knew it in the eighties and couldn't get through to her because everyone was partying hard, so to speak. Sex and drugs all over the place. I couldn't even get a job at any of these apes establishments. Stingy idiots who wouldn't let me work because I don't have the Mark of the Beast. That was the ticket to begging the sadists and they might allow a person to be elevated if they liked the way they groveled. Slaves to sin and to the sadists. Anyone that could or would save me was . . .

Daddy Dearest didn't want to save me because he was the ring leader. Any dream I ever had about him was frightening. even as an adult. he makes me cringe because he has no natural feelings and his sweetest words to me sound eerily like a con job. I think he wants me dead, he and Dot. What weirdos who became demon possessed. Perhaps if they hadn't rode me so hard I could have cast them out of them. I suppose God doesn't love them at all. Where's the love and security? they wanted me to believe in from him, daddy Dearest?

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful