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Published by: sui pacha on Feb 12, 2013
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28 The Conception of Immortality

" Yet the day wears,

And door succeeds door


I try the fresh fortune—

Range the wide house from the wing to the centre—

Still the same chance !

She goes out as I enter !


And now, if you ask why this lady is thus

elusive, I answer, because she is an indi-

vidual. And an individual is a being that

no finite search can find.

As for yourself, you notoriously are such

that the Self is, and is a real individual.

But who amongst us defines by his abstract

statement of his own type, or finds by

dwelling upon his familiar masses of mere

organic sensation, what his own unique

Self may be } Or who amongst us con-

ceives himself in his uniqueness except as

the remote goal of some ideal process of

coming to himself and of awakening to the

truth about his own life ? Only an infinite

process can show me who I am.

On the other hand, when we dwell upon

these cases that lie nearest to our vital in-

terests, we do indeed begin to find out the

The Conception of Immortality 29

deeper meaning of something that in the

instances formerly mentioned seemed to

be a matter for cold and curious logical

inquiry. We begin to find out, namely,

the deeper meaning of this our so fixed,

and yet at first sight so arbitrary assump-

tion that our real world, despite the imper-

fections of our conception and the vague

generality of our direct experience, does

consist of individuals. For in case of the

objects of our nearer and of our more con-

sciously exclusive affections, we are often

well aware how arbitrary our mere speech

about the experienced or defined unique-

ness of these objects of affection must

seem to any external observer. We rec-

ognize this apparent arbitrariness of our

description of the unique object ; but we

even glory therein. Weconfess that we can-

not tell wherein our friend is so individual.

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