85th Annual ACADEMY AWARDS DRINKING GAME

1. Take a drink for every award. If it's a film's second award, drink twice. If it's a film's third award, drink thrice. So on and so forth. (When Argo wins, the toast should definitely be, "Argo f*** yourself.")

2. When they play someone off during an acceptance speech, start drinking when the music begins. Don't stop until they've been officially played off.

3. Take a drink everytime someone botches a line.

4. Take a drink every time Seth MacFarlane references one of his characters. This includes metions, appearances, and alterations to his normal speaking voice.

5. Take a drink every time someone mentions booze.

6. Take a drink every time someone mentions Meryl Streep.

7. Take a drink every time someone says , "I don't have a speech prepared." ("I didn't expect this," also counts.)

8. Take a drink every time someone says "brilliant" or "genius."

9. Take a shot when someone thanks god

10. If someone trips or has a wardrobe malfunction you should just go ahead and finish your drink.

11. Take a drink for every person in the Oscars memorial montage.

12. Take a drink every time someone thanks his or her mother.

13. Finish your drink if the winner for Best Director mentions Ben Affleck.

14. Drink every time the camera cuts from Ben Affleck to Jennifer Lopez to Jennifer Garner.

15. Shot if Billy Crystal sings.

16. Take a shot each time the camera cuts to George Clooney.

17. Take a shot when someone cries.

18. If “The Artist” wins and award take a shot

19. If “The Artist” doesn’t win an award its nominated for take a Drink.

20. Drink each time a winner uses their speech time as a political platform.

21. If someone makes a joke but nobody laughs DRINK

22. If RON ROBERTS CUTS INTO THE OSCARS TO TALK ABOUT THE BLIZZARD WE THROW STUFF AT TIMS TV AND BOO AND DRINK UNTILL HE IS GONE

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