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Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

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Published by: triantafyllos71 on Feb 27, 2013
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Top 100: Funny Quotes and One-Liners With 61 CommentsBy Jason Bacchetta

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490 As powerful as inspirational quotes can be, sometimes we just need a bit of humor to lighten up our day. For those occasions, funny quotes and one-liners are quite effective, especially when they poke fun at our everyday annoyances, whether it be politics, work, aging or marriage. Not content with finding these humorous quotes on only bumper stickers, we set out to put together a list of them. Below, you’ll find the Top 100: Funny Quotes and One-Liners that are sure to put a smile on your face. 1. ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” - Unknown 2. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers 3. “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz 4. ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” - Unknown 5. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” - Brian Gerald O’Driscoll 6. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” - Oscar Wilde 7. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” Abraham Lincoln (paraphrase from the Bible, ‘Proverbs’ 17:28) 8. “The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.” - Unknown 9. “The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.” - Albert Einstein

but not in one ahead.Earl Wilson 18.Al McGuire 14.Unknown 11.99 . Women marry men with the hope they will change. “I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. so I made your horn louder. “I couldn’t repair your brakes.” .Marilyn Monroe 13.” . “Why is the place you drive on is a parkway. ”If you die in an elevator. “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets” . “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.Unknown 16.com/top-100-funny-quotes-and-oneliners#pwhLFiakpixTPwHy.Sam Levenson 17.” . “When I was a boy of fourteen.Bill McGlashen 12.” . But when I got to be twenty-one.10.” .Mark Twain 15.lifed.” . be sure to push the up button. “Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you.Albert Einstein 19.” . Invariably they are both disappointed. my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.” . try missing a couple of payments. and the place you park on is the driveway?” .” .Will Rogers 20.Steven Wright Read more at http://www.

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