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1024340 Enneagram

1024340 Enneagram

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Published by Wes Art

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Published by: Wes Art on Apr 12, 2013
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07/13/2013

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Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

Usually Twos and Fours make better friends and colleagues than intimates. Surprisingly,
this pairing is rare in intimate relationships. One would think that they would be a natural fit
with each other: the rescuer (Two) and the rescued (Four), the lost child and the parental
figure. The problem is that there can be too much emotionality and unspoken demands in
this pairing for their own good. Twos and Fours tend to have many emotional issues in
common-which allows them to understand each other readily while also laying the
groundwork for potential problems and conflicts. They both need closeness and intimacy
and tend to cling to anyone who responds to them sufficiently. Over the long term, there is
the tendency to become competitive for attention or for one person to feel better liked and
more appreciated than the other.

Moreover, Twos tend to find Fours too moody and temperamental, led too much by their
feelings and unconscious impulses. They also see Fours as hypersensitive and self-
absorbed—and not interested enough in others or their welfare. Fours tend to find Twos to
be too saccharine and artificially upbeat, flattering and insincere to get close to people and
to feel needed. Fours see Twos as secretly emotionally needy, desperate for others to like
them and seek them out. They can see the Two's helpfulness as little more than an
attempt to bribe people for love, which Fours disdain. Fours might begin to be secretly
envious of the Twos social abilities and the kinds of positive reactions Twos generally get
from people. Fours can begin to feel socially inept and overshadowed by the charm and
popularity of Twos. Secret shame and the feeling of worthlessness of the part of both can
begin to undermine the relationship. It can founder on Fours' feelings of abandonment if
the Two becomes involved with others. It can also founder on Twos' increasingly feeling
unappreciated by the Four. Both begin to see the other as too emotionally needy—and
ultimately as more demanding than each wishes to put effort into.

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