The „No

Holds Barred“ collection

SEX
FOR BEGINNERS
by (Mrs.) Jasmina Petrovic Illustrated by (Mr.) Dobrosav “Bob” Zivkovic

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Instead of an introduction .

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In a desire to reassure. If you want to enjoy sex and not do something stupid. Hello! My name is aunt Bessie. Hello! I am aunt Marjorie. stick to me and my advice. We formed a team of superlative lay persons or nonexperts (and added two aunts) who conducted a survey among youngsters aged eight to eighteen. we decided to write a book about sex. I think sex is very important for every human being. instruct. especially youngsters. stick to me and my observations. especially youngsters. entertain and tease you. but without mincing words. If you want to learn as many things as possible about sex. 7 . I think sex is very interesting for every human being. encourage. and make sure they are accurate.

Just one each picked the so-and-so and not interested at all answers. 9) 3. 9) 5. 18) 9. 15) 8. A joke about little Perica (Nikola. 8) 2. 10) Here… I opened my mouth! OBSERVATION: The younger respondents were both much cheekier and much less interested in sex than the older ones. 15) 6. VARIOUS. WOULD YOU READ A BOOK ABOUT SEX? 5. Screwing (Nikola. Open your mouth and I’ll tell you (Milica. Making out (Sinisa. Kissing (Natasha. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SEX? 2. WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORD SEX? 3. Cookies (Sasha. Flower pot (Sonja. Pamela Anderson (Dusan. 17) Uninteresting answers: 1. 16) 3. Asked ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SEX. Jelena (Marko. no fewer than 98 out of 100 said they were very interested in sex. aged 17) 2. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION ABOUT SEX? 4.Respondents were asked the following five questions: 1. School trips (Sanja. 17) 7. Love (Jasmina. 10) 4. 13) 5. Naked women (Aca. Interesting answers: 1. into two groups. WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORD SEX. 15) 4. Condom (Petar. We shall therefore refrain from giving the other uninteresting answers lest you lose all interest in sex. 11) 6. Darkness (Zorica. We divided the replies to the second question. Excitement (Jovan. 8 . 16) 10. None of your business (Jovana.

every time my parents go to our cottage in the country – once in two months.There were a number of different answers to the third question. and I am bored. I WATCH SEX EDUCATION BROADCASTS ON CHILDREN’S TV. Yes. Until my father takes it (over). 5 6 I READ PORNOGRAPHIC LITERATURE. Sends you right to sleep. anyway? I TALK TO TEACHERS. 3 4 7 8 2 8 5 6 1 I protest! Why weren’t there any questions about aunts. Every time they open their mouths – they lie. They are even more embarrassed. I TALK TO FRIENDS. aunts are more important for offering support! 3 4 7 . I WATCH PORNO MOVIES. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION ABOUT SEX? 1 2 I TALK TO MY PARENTS. I READ MEDICAL LITERATURE. earthworms and slugs. They are embarrassed. Teachers know even less about sex than parents. who are so important for educating youngsters about sex? Actually. I USE THE INTERNET. Not since I’ve been ordered to pay the phone bill. and I’m even more bored. What do parents know about sex. I know everything there is to know about the reproduction of ferns.

one for me and one for my best friend”. the production of egg-cells and sperm…). social. All manner of changes take place in this period: physical. the humblest layman (let alone an expert) can conclude that young people find sex very attractive and important. PUBERTY CHILDHOOD – a process during which a child becomes an adult. if there are pictures”. They help children to become adults. but also mysterious. “I can’t wait”. “I’ll buy two. we have decided not to delve too deeply into that subject. Only one answered “I want to be a musician” (probably wasn’t being serious. Hormones affect a great many processes in the brain. VARIOUS (and probably never will). dilemmas and follies of the authors and the people around them. mental. and of course sexual. Begins at eleven (maybe earlier) and ends at 17 (maybe later).Question number four – WOULD YOU READ A BOOK ABOUT SEX? – drew an overwhelming YES response – 99 out of a hundred said: “certainly”. IN CONFIDENCE: We still haven’t managed to classify the replies under number five. We based our text and illustrations on: amateur research and professional knowledge. emotional. interesting subjects become boring and unimportant ones very important. They are female hormones (estrogen and progesterone) and male ones (testosterone). but most of all the misconceptions. – “yes. released by certain glands in the body. the small grows into the large. but they also affect the mind. so that we began writing our book right away. But their industrious and constant activity places people who are in puberty face to face with a number of questions: Puberty or adolescence . “wouldn’t you?”. The main cause of all those major and sudden changes are invisible substances – hormones. Almost overnight. Sexual hormones control the development of physical sexual characteristics (menstruation. EXPERT CONCLUSION OF THE SUPERLATIVE LAYPERSONS: Judging by the responses we received. so we chucked out his reply). Given that not even experts know everything about hormones.

love. . procreation. . . . shyness. . . . kissing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . lesbianism) Why is sex beneficial? . . . . . 41 (flirting. . . . . . . . self-gratification. . . . . . soft and hard-core pornography. . . . . pregnancy. caressing) Sex (Part II) Why is sex interesting? . . . . . . . boredom complexes. . . . . . . telephones. 82 (abortion. . breast size. . . . . . . fantasizing in the service of sex. . . . . 15 What do males and females have in common? . . . the chastity belt) Before we part . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . family) What else should I learn? . 93 (ancient and contemporary sexual mythology) Sex through history . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . psychologist) What are the dark sides of sex? . . . . . . . school. . . . . . 96 (parents chose your wife/husband. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 (swearing and bad language. . . . . . . . voice. . . . . . . . . . . . . menstruation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . exhibitionism. . . . . virginity. . . . . . sexually-transmitted diseases. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . jealousy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . say “no”) Why is sex mysterious? . sexual relations. . . . . . . . . . . 73 (pleasure. . breaking up. . . . . . . urologist. . . . . . . . . . . . orgasm. . group sex) Talking about sex . . . . . oral sex. . . . sex) What is the difference between males and females? . 18 (parents. . . . . . . . . . . . the computer in the service of sex. . . . . muscles. . .Before sex (Two tests) Contents (Part I) Am I normal? . . homosexuality. . . . . . . . . . . no sex before marriage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . acne. sexual organs) Whatever is happening to me? . . . . . . . . . . . . foreplay. . weight. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . gynecologist. . 77 (hygiene. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . conflicts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . prostitution. incest. . . . . . . . . . body hair. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 (petting. . . . . . . . 98 (Test your knowledge) . . . . . . . . . . infatuation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . say “yes”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . anal sex. . . . . . sexual violence. . . dates. height. . 28 (manner of thinking. . . contraception. . . . . . . . . . rape. . . . . . . . 66 (erogenous zones. . wet dreams. . . . . AIDS. voyeurism. . . pedophilia) About sex (Part III) Is it good or bad? . . . positions. . .

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Part I Before sex .

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If one moment you feel like a child. The same will happen as you notice that day by day you become more and more different from your peers in regard to your looks. while the third will just take a deep breath and continue writing and drawing. Those around us only add to this adolescent mishmash by their comments and advice. interests.Am I normal? Am I a normal person? – a question which is the biggest burden to youngsters in puberty or those facing it. but can also cause a lot of fatigue. feelings. The former will heave a sign of relief as soon as they realise that the problem is not in them but in hormones. it would be quite normal to think you weren’t normal. and here we offer the simplest – take the following test! 15 . Usually by leaps and bounds. as well as the authors of this book. What else is there to do but get even more confused and unsettled? Will my parents love me the way I am? Will anyone ever love me? Am I becoming a freak? Is there any way to stop this? Is there any way to speed this up? AM I TRULY A NORMAL PERSON? There are many ways to reach the answer. thinking. sometimes gradually. diversity and the leaps may be interesting. tastes… Everyone grows up in a different manner and at a different pace. The unsteadiness. yet within just half an hour you reason and behave like an adult.

. . No . . . Yes Do you often daydream? . . . . . . Yes 7. . . Yes Do you collect pictures of naked women (if you’re a boy) . . . Do you have a need to take tests like this one? . . YOU ARE A NORMAL PERSON If more than half of your answers are NO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes Do you hate studying? . . . . . . YOU ARE A NORMAL PERSON Marjorie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . No . Circle only one of the two answers on offer – YES or NO. . No . Yes 10. . No . . Yes 8. . . . . . . Yes Do you collect pictures of show-business stars (if you’re a girl)? . . . . . Does everyone (especially those younger than you) bore you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes 9. . . . . . Yes . . . Yes Do you listen to loud music? . . . . No . . . . . . . . 5. No . . . . Do you quarrel with family members . . Yes 6. . . . . . . No CONCLUSIONS: If more than half of your answers are YES . . . . . . . . No . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Add up the totals and read the conclusions. . . . . .Test No. . . . . . . . . . . . . 2. . Do you have frequent mood swings? . . . . 3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . No . . . . . . . . Do you often look at yourself in a mirror? . . . . . . . . . . . are you normal? None of your business! . . No . 4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1. . 1 DIRECTIONS: Read each question carefully and answer it only after thinking carefully. . . . Does everything bore you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . No . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

but you’re afraid to admit it. . . and out of love even more often? . . . . Yes . . . . . . 4. . . No Have your periods started? (if you’re a girl) . . . . . . . . . . . here is another TEST: Yoopie! Another test 1. . . 5. . so please sit down and write your own book. No No one understands you and no one loves you. . . 17 . . 10. . . 6. . . . . 7. . No Has hair begun to grow on your body? . – 6 or 5 YES answers – you are a person who never left puberty. Yes . . . . Yes . . . 2. . . . . . . . . . . . Yes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . right? . . Yes . . No Is your voice deeper? (If you’re a boy) . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes . . . . 9. . . of course). . . . . . . . Yes . . (and all other subjects. . . . No Do you have acne? . . . . . Yes . 8. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes . – 2 to no YES answers – you KNOW EVERYTHING BEST ABOUT SEX.For all those who love these tests but are still uncertain whether this book is for them. . . . . . . . and should also continue reading this book (but at your own responsibility). . . . . . . . . . . . No Do you have the impression that your arms are longer and your legs shorter than they should be? . – 4 or 3 YES answers – you are outside puberty. 3. and you should also continue reading this book. . . . . . . . No Are your breasts growing? (if you’re a girl) . . . . Dou you spend a lot of time locked in the bathroom? . . Yes . . . . . No Sex interests you a lot. Yes . . . . . . – 8 or 7 YES answers – you are facing puberty and should also continue reading this book. . . . . No Does everyone else have a better life than you do? . . . No Is your sexual organ growing? (if you’re a boy) . . . . . . No Do you often fall in love. No 10-9 YES 8-7 YES 6-5 YES 4-3 YES 2-0 YES CONCLUSIONS: If you had: – 10 or 9 YES answers – you are in puberty and should continue reading this book. . Yes . .

kids miss them. 18 .What do males and females have in common? Parents – when near at hand. parents: a) ban everything kids love to do – You are not going on the end-of-year school trip! – You better be home by ten o’clock! – Don’t ever let me see you again with that boy with the ear-ring! – Get off the phone! – Stop playing those video games! – Turn down that awful music! b) order you to do everything you hate – – – – – – Tidy up your room! Sit down and do your lessons! Get to bed this minute! Apologise to your father! Take out the trash! Come down and say hello to your aunt! c) ask all the wrong questions – – – – – – I want to know who was at the party! You didn’t join them in it.. did you? Where have you been all day? Who were you talking to? How was the maths test? Own up and you won’t be punished! ADVICE: ACTIVE Freedom isn’t grant. when far away. it’s won! PASSIVE It’ll all pass.. However far away they might be. they’re a bore and a burden.

Teach them self-respect 7. . Help them to come face to face with a generous allowance! their emotions. fears… 5. alcohol and drugs 2. a problematic boy who is quite a lot older than she is. Never ridicule their actions and Love them. She eats poorly and is hardly ever at home. I don’t know what to do. drugs and AIDS I don’t even dare think about. I’d like to add something on the subject of parents and children. Teach them to assume responsibility for their actions and their choices 8. without fear and shame 6. She now has a boyfriend. help them to become suppress their questions independent. I don’t know what I did wrong…” For this mum and for all other parents: 10 BITS OF ADVICE FROM AUNT MARJORIE: 1. Get as much information as possible about sex. trust them. Teach them to understand their sexual needs. dilemmas. and give them 4. Help them to draw positive conclusions from their failures 10. Every day we get heaps of letters like this one: “Her school marks and studying have been slipping lately. You are the most important models for them both in life and in sex. AIDS.If you don’t mind. Alcohol. I am quite beside myself. Urge your children to talk freely on those subjects 3. spending all day with her friends. She won’t tell me anything and I no longer have any influence on her. I am afraid he might trick her into having sex with her. Help them to comprehend influence their peers exert in regard to sex 9.

kisses. as it is an excellent hotbed of both great love sagas and soap operas. school plays a very important role. where the approach to sex is more liberal than anywhere else. School is an institution that provokes terror. that’s what we intended to do. declarations. excursions and above everything else end-of-year trips offer excellent opportunities for an exchange of looks. supplementary classes. don’t worry.sadness. just read on! 20 . negative. dangerous and perverted elements (maniacs and pedophiles) may appear in or around schools (see pages 84 and 85). emptiness and fond memories once it’s over. and ATTENTION: Undesirable. cuffs… Let us also not forget the lavatory walls. If we haven’t. nausea and boredom for as long as it lasts. Lessons. ATTENTION: If we have succeeded in scaring you. notes. breaks. we’ll do it later. As far as sex is concerned.

sexuality. For teachers. the attitude towards one’s own body.Dear teachers. AIDS. Inform parents who can help them and how they can be helped to instruct their children about sexuality. be happy and be sexy. but I assure you that whatever you can do to this end will both mean a lot both to individuals and contribute to a healthier atmosphere in school. school psychologists and pedagogues! Your attention. Get as much information as possible about sex. please! We know you are overloaded with every-day obligations and have no great desire to talk about sex with children and their parents. debates. alcohol and drugs 2. workshops… on sex 5. Try and achieve a relaxed atmosphere in class conducive to an open debate on love. personal relations… 4. One more thing! Smile. Urge schoolchildren to get as much information about these subjects as possible 3. Organise lectures. of course! . school psychologists and pedagogues only 5 BITS OF ADVICE FROM AUNT MARJORIE 1.

twists and turns. various unpleasant situations. lovers. friends. between two or more persons. peers. misunderstandings. both with adults and with their peers (let alone those who are younger than they are).have existed for as long as humankind. a row with a scrap. The conflict is always the same – it’s only the garb and scenery that change. poor hearing. 22 . fear. neighbours. a scrap without a row. break-ups. members of the immediate and extended family. selfishness. enemies… They can take place in the following forms: provocation. egocentricity. For centuries. gender differences… Conflicts On the road to independence and self-reliance. The oldest historical reports about this date from the times of the ancient (at that time young) Greeks. shame. all children go through a number of conflicts. age differences. Conflicts arise between persons of the same or different sexes. a scrap with a row. adults and children. rows have taken place every day. a war… Conflicts are usually the result of recklessness. a non-violent row.

because you are growing up. ask them how they deal with theirs. your new thinking. Talk to others about your shyness. and that every one of those ways is the right way! Here is some practical advice how you can help yourself fight shyness: 1. Regardless of everything and everyone. you will become a truly equal partner in debate with your parents.Shyness and embarrassment are They manifest themselves in two ways: divided equally among males and females. a pale face. Try and understand both yourself. it is you yourself it affects the most… 23 . try and think as little as possible about your shyness and the changes it causes to you. Keep in mind that everyone grows up in his or her own way. Two – verbosity. a red face. 3. queasiness in the belly. Very often those around you will not even notice your shyness. 2. physical and mental stiffness. The heat and blushing cannot be suppressed by power of will – you just have to wait until they go away on their own. Here is what two unnamed kids in puberty told us about shyness: FIRST ANONYMOUS PERSON: I get even shyer when others notice that I am shy! SECOND ANONYMOUS PERSON: I am embarrassed of the fact that I am changing constantly and becoming someone else. all the others are easier. which is no bad thing. your peers and the changes you see in them. You are changing – so what! Don’t be scared of changes. Try to deal with all jibes and unpleasant comments bravely and carry on. guilty. excessive physical and mental activity. Wait out the process together and be patient. Be patient! Don’t judge yourself too harshly! Accept your new face. For example. A second wave of shyness appears only very rarely. They will open new doors for you and bring you new joys. your changed body. One – reticence. Do not run away from shyness and do not try to conceal it! 4. queasiness in the head. Don’t let yourself feel embarrassed or even worse. but once you pass over the first wave. It is difficult and unpleasant. Talk about something else. Poking savage fun at others will not ease your own troubles.

Asked What are you ashamed of. 3. 1. the FIRST ANONYMOUS PERSON replied: 24 Boredom – This section was expunged – it was too boring! (Editor) . 2. 3. That is what loved ones are for – so they can see how wonderful we really are! Here are the replies of the SECOND ANONYMOUS PERSON to the same question: 1. your loved one will reveal to you many other wonderful sides of your person and personality. the less shy you will be! In the initial stages of your relationship. clothes. I am ashamed of my total inexperience. I am ashamed of taking off all my clothes.What about shyness in sex? The closer you are to your loved one. In time. I am ashamed of taking off all my 2. I am embarrassed when the light is on. I am ashamed of my total inexperience. I am embarrassed when the light is on. Do not burden yourself or others with your complexes. you should try and focus your thoughts on your good sides and away from what you don’t like about yourself.

the same person can feel almost worthless and depressed. NOTE: “Pure” types seldom appear in real life. Intelligent: “soso. as that is where the real assess yourself.” popular: “more or less. but cannot be called attractive. as they simply represent our vulnerabilities and our sensitive spots. not by confusion starts. the leg of the turkey. slowly. and what independent and free. they blush. They are one of the indicators of the way we see ourselves. the admiration of their circle (and their flattery. It’s more important what Make sure you don’t cross your problems and complexes with those of we think about ourselves! It’s also important to discern between our own opinions about ourselves and those of others. Make sure you not appropriate. the most attractive person of the opposite sex in their group. For example. If not subject to adoration. PERSONS FROM SUFFER FROM MEDIOCRITY COMPLEXES – wallow in averageness.” funny: “nothing special”. they begin to heap ash on their heads in an effort to lessen their value and importance. but How fast was as in the match? How good is my ballet coordination? also that you don’t trample Do I have the proper feeling for rhythm? etc. slam doors in their face. asking yourself what kind of person you are is “mats” to stand on. In the presence of persons of the opposite sex.” clothes: “well. take away their boy/girl-friends. then do it properly. they trip and fall.. Favourite day of the week: Wednesday. They function only when surrounded by an audience. not very popular dates. 25 . of course)… Whatever they don’t like they reject with loathing. They always know everything best and are never to blame for anything. PERSONS WHO SUFFER FROM SUPERIORITY COMPLEXES – see no equal for themselves and hence think they are entitled to all that is best. stammer. They aren’t ugly. nicest and biggest: the front seat in the car. Patiently. Answer questions mostly by shrugging. Within a single day. what are our fears… There are inferiority. don’t greet them in the street. you should work on… If you’re not very good at something Be your own! today. Some people need generalising. PERSONS WHO SUFFER FROM INFERIORITY COMPLEXES – always see themselves as not good enough for anything or anyone. Be kind will show you your strong and your weak points. Invited only to those parties where everyone else is invited. but also arrogant. what we think others think about us. mediocrity and superiority complexes. They always suffer the same troubles: others take their chair. An analysis of this on others. look at the ground and nervously pluck wool out of their sweaters. ATTENTION: Complexes can complicate your life considerably. The real questions should be: How good am I in sports? aren’t abused by anyone. When on their own. They attract a lot of attention with their striking looks and behaviour. at least they are always subject to gossip.. concretely. not too bad. If you really want to others. It isn’t so important what others think about us. either. Can be recognised by the can of ash they keep at hand – as soon as someone begins to praise them. talk rubbish (and then worry about it)… When people are talking about sex. they turn into type 1 or type 2. “Golden mean” and “Don’t make waves” are their favourite sayings.Complex are a very complex matter. that need not be so tomorrow. Speak neither ill nor good of others.

you went to your doctor and demanded a full skin transplant! The doctor sent you home with the following comment: “I don’t have any in your size at the moment.– The most repulsive and horrible bit of spite from the sebaceous glands. Acne E: MUM’S ADVICface u yo h uc to Don’t s! with dirty hand ND’S (GIRL) FRIE ca u n’t see COMMENT: Yo all! them at DOCTOR’S ADVICE: Buy appropriate creams in a pharmacy or come in a pharmacy or come to my office! OUR ADVICE: Spend as much time as possible outdoors and refrain from looking at yourself in the mirror for a couple of years! BEAUTICIAN’S ADVICE: Wash you face with lukewarm water and mild soap once ortwice a day! (BOY) FRIEND’S ADVICE: She’s got it. come back tomorrow!” . it all comes from greasy hair! SISTER’S ADVICE: Put a paper bag on your head! GRANNY’S ADVICE: Eat more fruit and vegetables! Don’t worry. chest and back. Acne usually appear at the worst possible moment – on the eve of your birthday. before your first date or public appearance… Appears mainly on your face.too!! DAD’S ADVICE: It’s time you became a man!! GRANDPA’S ADVICE: Go and get a haircut. Its victims are innocent. but when you were fifteen. I also had acne once. helpless and juvenile. so is there any problem with me now? Of course not.

jeers.a word which has always provoked sniggers. men and women. each in his or her own way. but also knowing. but we all express them differently. Sex is natural and normal. making decisions. films shot and famous pictures painted. Many books have been written about sex. self-respect. And everything we do in sex with the consent of our partners is OK. Sexuality is an integral part of personality. All people have sexual feelings. health and developing one’s own sexuality. sneers. but for developing sexuality. We are all responsible for our own actions and their consequences 27 . There’s never enough said about it. smiles and guffaws by the young and the old. This means: selfanalysis.. That is why it is very important to respect the sexuality of others. This book is not intended as a guide for making love. Sex – But we must make something completely clear. If sex does no harm to anyone. it should not be condemned. understanding and tolerating others.

but it can also grow.What is the difference between males and females? Way of thinking – to another. kids in puberty are usually dissatisfied with their height. she usually has romantic thoughts. We differentiate among three categories: a) short. girls are usually taller than boys. Regardless of where they belong. With the passage of time. but also from one person Girls usually have the following thoughts: HOW DO I APPROACH HIM? WHERE WILL I GO OUT TONIGHT? WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? WHY – aren’t my breasts bigger? – isn’t my waist slimmer? – don’t I have more money? – don’t I have an older and smarter sister…? Boys usually have the following thoughts: HOW DO I APPROACH HER? WHERE WILL I GO OUT TONIGHT? WHY – isn’t my penis bigger? – isn’t my nose smaller? – isn’t my pocket-money bigger? – don’t I have an older and smarter brother…? OBSERVATION: When a person of the female sex thinks about a person of the opposite sex. And vice versa. but a few years later the opposite becomes true. not only different between men and women. b)medium-sized and c) tall. their frustration may disappear. while a person of the male sex usually has an erotic approach when thinking about the fair sex. Somebody's height 28 NOTE: The exception proves the rule! . Before puberty. can depend on the following: genetics and heel size.

Light as a wren. let alone sexual Body weight – performance! is measured in pounds/kilogrammes and animals: Heavy as an elephant. PRACTICE HAS SHOWN: hat size is no guarantee for matureness and sanity. Paddle-sized feet ensure good footing. Heavy as a horse Skinny as a herring. Used for skeleton and anatomy research. Fat as a pig Skinny as a mosquito. Often play basketball and win awards and sympathies of sports fans and persons of the opposite sex. skinny. bony and often toothy.EXAMPLE: LONG LEGGED CHAPS – are tall. 29 .

famous and rich men. Would be happy to shed pounds. Talk loudly and laugh even more loudly. porno movies and dirty jokes. Know everything there is to know about sex. RECOMMENDED: Being with others. NOTE: Long live the exceptions! EXEPTION: EXAMPLE: FAT GUYS–love food. One of the differences between boys and girls is in their body weight. they suffer. Boys are heavier. tobacco. often in the kitchen. sharing secrets. 30 . When they are suffering. Among girls. but not bad habits. Love to poke fun at and comment on others and dispense (unwanted) advice. muscular.Body weight is very important in puberty. but in reality they are with the others. The others gain their popularity later on in life. they eat. it is even a matter of prestige – the slimmer the better. Favourite hobby: idleness. FAT GIRLS – constantly dieting. In their imagination they are always with handsome. although they often don’t have girlfriends. after they eat. DEFINTELY NOT RECOMMENDED: Lifting off the floor.

Finds it easier to talk about fishing than make-up. a prominent mole. Where is the sex here? The whole thing is being watered down… On the contrary. Usually prevalent among men. EXEPTION: TOMBOY – Enjoys a beer with the lads after the match. But how is that connected with sex? 31 . Kids’ appearance is very important for their sexuality. Puts on a dress for the first time at her best mate’s wedding. I know of many different examples: countless sleepless nights spent worrying over an excessively long second toe. too short eye-lashes. swears. Detests blondes. Does not need a boyfriend. A number of changes happen to the body in puberty as a direct effect of maturing and growing up. Speaks in a loud voice. bony knees. holds her own chair and her own coat. Spends all her money on parts for her motor bike. smokes and goes around with a toothpick sticking out of her teeth. trainers or girlfriend. The smaller the shortcoming.Physical strenght is very important for accomplishing certain objectives – taking someone’s ball. of course. spits. All these things also affect the mind. as she opens the door for herself. too many or two few curls and so on. the bigger the worry and the more difficult it is to solve the problem. too many freckles. That is why this section is so important and should be read carefully. but not always. it’s getting more and more complicated. especially in this age group. We must therefore not fail to mention the hours and days spent worrying over one’s appearance.

CONSOLATION: The voice change takes a year or two. necks. and usually bald. The body and sex are very close. some men have less and less hair on the top of their heads. Except for the tops of their heads. chests and backs. legs. men can grow hair in other areas – their faces. arms. The alternating squeaking. 32 . Only the palms of their hands and their soles are hairless. take part in sports. BEFORE Body hair – (most) men have AFTER PHENOMENON: As the years pass. leaving only sweet memories. droning and humming sends others into paroxysms of laughter. With the passage of time. Do your lessons. don’t let it worry you. but also in a single person in a single second – adolescent males are the owners of two voices – a squeaky boy’s vice and a deeper men’s voice. screeching. all the worry over physical appearance wanes and disappears. This voice change is perceived by the individual as a double betrayal: by himself and by others. Until that happens. especially in puberty. armpits and genital areas. but what’s that compared with eternity! much more than women. This process makes them very unhappy. have fun! Voice – varies not only between girls and boys.Quite obviously.

seldom a blonde. pubic hair attracts persons of the opposite sex like a magnet. but it only looks that way. dark. dense or sparse… Besides protecting the genitals. seldom darkhaired. 2: BABY FACE – a male with a shortage of body hair. Always dark. acts disinterested. When taunted. CONSOLATION: Robin Hood was also hairless before puberty! HAIRY LADY – a person of the fair sex with excess body hair. and hair around the genitals pubic hair. Pubic hair in women is triangular in shape and one of the following: small. Turns a blind eye to taunts. as she believes the laws of nature have to be respected. The more he desires them. carroty. pubic hair EXEPTION No. Usually a blond.Facial hair is called moustache and beard. large. Saves a considerable amount of pocket-money by avoiding waxes. the slower they grow. blonde. 1: EXEPTION No. Robin Hood Maid Marian .

depending on the brassiere cup size. whatever your bosom size. because whatever we said you wouldn’t listen. two. RULE No. 34 . 1: Whatever their size. four. So fight it out on your own – once you’ve passed through all that chaos. three. five. Breast size Four fundamental rules about breasts: RULE No. they won’t suit you! RULE No.your friends will take jibes at you.adults will tell you tostraighten your back! RULE No. more secure and more manly. 4: Full speed ahead! Stand up straight and push out your chest. 2: Whatever their size. 3: However you bear yourself. * In which case we won’t even try to convince you that it’s just a transitional stage in your development.– varies widely from person to person – it can be a one. Pamela…. you’ll be stronger. Breasts are a wonderful ornament on your body (except if you’re male*).

wears tight-fitting low-cut tee-shirts. especially among men.. If ready to poke fun at herself. If ready to poke fun at herself. TITLESS WONDER – a flat-chested woman. often with logos like KISS ME. Never wears dresses with low necklines. hunches her back and wears her dad’s XXXL shirts and sweaters. and you will enjoy being looked at and caressed. REMARK: The real purpose of breasts is feeding infants.EXAMPLE No. whatever their size. He will enjoy looking at them and caressing them. whose only curves are her heels. 2: PAMELA – Named after the star of Baywatch. NOTE: If your loved one really loves you. he will love your breasts. If ashamed of her chest. but more about that later! I would like to caution persons of the male sex not to skip over the next chapter – men and women both need to be informed about menstruation. If proud of her breasts. attains a great deal of popularity in her circle. especially among men. . 1: EXAMPLE No. attains a great deal of popularity in her circle. as it is intimately connected with pregnancy! But also with sexual relations.

household chores etc. you may stain your clothes. vertigo. the unfertilised egg-cell will be ejected from the uterus. The first menstruation takes place in puberty. best move to another planet for a while until your friends forget the incident. taking place mid-way along the menstrual cycle). in the form of blood – that is menstruation. time of the month.. in cycles of between 28 and 32 days. The menstrual cycle is controlled by hormones. In that case. 36 . Usually lasts from three to seven days. It happens monthly. * Puberty is the stage in which a girl becomes a woman. If an egg-cell comes in contact with a sperm in the tube and is fertilised. which means that the woman is pregnant and her periods stop (see page 74). Restricted to women. 1: If you get your period and lack suitable protection. THEORY: Menstruation takes place as a result of the discharge of an egg-cell from one of the two ovaries (a process called ovulation. Menstruation ATTENTION: Menstrual pains. can sometimes be a wonderful excuse (for skipping PE. mood changes and irritation immediately before and during their periods. periods – a monthly bleed from the uterus. without exception. If that does not happen. and the last in the menopause*. whether they exist or not. The egg-cell reaches the uterus (womb) through one of the two Fallopian tubes. UNDESIRABLE EFFECT No. Some women suffer from stomach pains. it will remain in the uterus. together with its lining. and menopause that in which a woman becomes a “lady in the prime of her life”.).

Both towels and tampons have their good and bad sides. Towels are for external use and tampons for internal use (they should be inserted into the vagina). drink more liquid and take particular care of your personal hygiene. You may then inform your family – you’ll see. especially is she is unprepared. The first thing you can do is go to the nearest lavatory and put a sanitary towel or paper towel into your panties. The appearance of blood between a girl’s legs could easily alarm her. have a shower. Please avoid exertion during your cycles. It would be a good idea to keep a record of your cycles and expected dates – in that way you will avoid unpleasant surprises and unplanned moves to another planet… UNDESIRABLE EFFECT No. Your first period is a sign that you body has begun preparing for one of its most important functions – pregnancy. And don’t fall for that old story that you can’t get pregnant if you’re having your period. Whatever the cause. The first might start without any warning – in a cinema. Both the onset and duration of menstruation in puberty are usually very irregular. At that age diverse hormonal and other problems are possible. during school. but aren’t advised. Sexual relations are not prohibited. you must try and get yourself together. smaller ones for teenagers and bigger ones for older women. the best help will come from an expert. ADVICE: Sanitary towels and tampons are used for soaking up menstrual blood. this is a very serious subject. You will have to decide on your own which ones to choose. a gynecologist. while you’re sleeping. change and put in a new napkin. 2: If you miss your period. Tampons are made in two sizes. they’ll be pleased. YOU CAN!!! . However horrible it might appear. but first of all to your mother… …or your aunt! Missing your period need not automatically mean pregnancy. Panicking will only make it worse. Then slowly make your way home. They are changed every three to four hours. either.All jokes aside. you must talk to an advisor.

Longer doesn’t mean better. and you also have time on your hands.The Penis Finally something concrete! I was getting scared we would lose even our most – Comparing male and female avid readers! sexual organs. Whatever you look at from above always looks smaller. Haven’t you heard the saying: “It’s the singer. Sometimes penises roughly equal in size when limp assume quite different dimensions when erect. for example. talk to girls and ask them what they think about the length of a man’s penis. TABLE Date Exact time of measurement Pre-erection lenght Lenght during erection Post-erection lenght 38 . depending on the particular erection. but not like his! His is longer! But if yours is shorter. The same penis can also be different in size. we can conclude that there is really more to see in a man. You should know that! If you don’t. it YOURS doesn’t mean it’s less valuable. to look at you penis from the side. We guarantee that your mood will improve considerably. Take you. for example. not the song!!” INFORMATION: Sexual organs vary in size. You’ll be quite surprised when you hear what ALL OTHERS they say. Women not only don’t care for size. in a mirror. Yours certainly has grown. It is important to understand that the size of a sexual organ in no way determines sexual potency or virility. But if your obsession with size is too strong. but bigger ones can even intimidate them. RECOMMENDATION: Change the point of view! Try. take a ruler and get to work.

especially in curses. volume. talk to a urologist (see page 81). moistness and positioning. the clitoris is located on the frontal. but still far less than men. . external and upper part of the vagina. About the size of a pea. fanny. beaver… All the other names are easy to find in the everyday language of the people around us. oaths. IMPORTANT NOTE: The actual appearance of the sexual organ is far less important than its function – the exchange of sexual pleasure. but we also call it pecker. willie. sausage… The female sex organ is the vagina. An important part of the female sex organ is the clitoris. Women’s sexual organs can vary in width.Apart from size. The scientific name of the male sex organ is penis. todger. Women also spend a lot of time looking at their sexual organs and thinking about them. males are usually also worried by their penises being bent to the left or the right while erect. and its purpose is satisfying the sexual instinct. It is full of nerve endings and represents the chief female erogenous zone (see page 66). dirty jokes and quarrels. If you are not calmed by our assurance that most men have bent willies and that this is no hindrance to sexual relations. also known as pussy.

and will call this an erection. Its length is seven to ten centimetres. It is very flexible. you will soon. as do babies in childbirth. while menstrual blood passes through it.The penis is the male sexual organ. During sexual intercourse it receives the penis. or orgasm. Women have two ovaries containing egg-cells. Its external opening is flanked by two pairs of lips. There are two testicles. Urine you have known for some time. The vagina is the female sex organ linking the uterus and external exit of the vagina. which contains the testicles. They produce the sperm. They are so sensitive that even the thought or hurting them causes pain. if you haven’t met it yet. ovaries uterus vagina . which is an exit for urine and sperm. while as far as sperm is concerned. Sperm is a fluid ejected during sexual stimulation. The ovaries secrete hormones (Estrogen and Progesterone) which are testicles of importance for the development of babies. one usually lower down than the other. Below the penis is an appendage penis called a scrotum. a muscular organ which is Just as flexible as the vagina. or labia. Once a penis is vessel stimulated sexually. Babies develop inside a uterus. it becomes upright and hard.

the fair sex also cross their legs. blushing… During the flirting stage. smiling and sniggering. thrust out their chests and straighten their backs to show their might and their size. look right through you and hear nothing of what you’ve said. the start of a serious relationship or the start of a frivolous relationship. Flirting or courting Flirting can be a one-time event. Infatuation does not last long – it turns into love (sometimes) or just disappears (most of the time). You talk to them and they just smile foolishly. Their movements are exaggerated and they use every possible opportunity to touch their partner’s arm or leg. there are also those who think flirting is a waste of time and energy. Of course. Most of the time they daydream and spend time on the phone. Infatuation 41 . – a state of intoxication. winking. Persons suffering from jealousy (see page 46) identify flirting with sexual relations and treat it as a major threat. Persons suffering from superiority complexes (see page 25) find it very useful. on the other hand. tip their heads and pick at nonexistent crumbs on their partner’s sweater. An infatuated person can be easily recognised by their partial or total absent-mindedness. don’t eat and don’t sleep.Whatever is happening to me? – blinking. Infatuated persons don’t do their schoolwork. Experts say the same rituals are used by baboons and gorillas. ecstasy. depending on whether their infatuation is less or more serious. Men. disorientation.

the old man living on the ground floor yelled at him because he had spat on his window. and leaning on a car. but I didn’t have the courage. I am so happy I cannot find words to describe it. Just as I was going to approach him. You have no idea how cute he is! He was wearing a super jacket and trainers. I can’t wait to see him again. I saw him today. I was standing on the sidewalk with Tijana. Katja 42 . Next time I’ll certainly talk to him. They quarreled for a while and then went their own ways. Yours. He was spitting and talking to a pal. and I think he also saw me.Manifestation of Infatuation A PAGE OUT OF A DIARY Dear Diary. She urged me to go and talk to him.

Manifestation of Non-infatuation
A PAGE OUT OF A DIARY

Dear Diary, I didn’t talk to him. What a geek – dressed as he was, who would? He’s also cut his hair and looks awful. However, Mira visited me last night with her classmate. You have no idea how cute he is. He’s pierced his tongue and wears a ring through it. He gave me his telephone number. I think I’ll call him tomorrow. I can’t wait to hear his voice again. Yours, Katja

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Love – an exalted feeling driving one to perform only positive actions and benevolent and charitable deeds, towards his or her loved one as well as towards the whole world. You can feel
love for a child, a parent, husband or wife, significant other, neighbour, motherland… Once upon a time, wars were fought, crowns relinquished and great works of art created for love. What about today?
Love is a very complex feeling which is very difficult to Many people try to solve the problem define. Some people think love is restricted to romantic of loneliness by entering into sexual emotions. Others identify love with sexual desire and relations, but this is just a stop-gap attraction. Some say sexual relations must never take place solution. Erich Fromm says in my without love, while others say that it is only through sexual favourite book, The Art of Love, that relations that we can discover the true extent of our “Only love can help is overcome our feelings for our partner. These approaches are all feelings of loneliness yet retain our intertwined, yet none can be said to be completely true. personal integrity fully. Only when in Some people decide to make love with each other, without love do two beings become one yet actually being in love. It’s a personal choice. The things which remain each one’s own. Love is being are permissible in sex are all those to which both partners active, not passive…” consent and which don’t contravene one’s personal codes. You shouldn’t do anything which is against your personal standards! If someone tries to convince you that the only way you can prove your love is through sex, you should know that that person is trying to take advantage of you and doesn’t love you.

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Love can sometimes be hard to understand even for adults, let alone kids. Just imagine how many love troubles are encountered by someone in puberty! If we ever manage to compile a list of love problems, we’d be more than happy to publish it (if we don’t find anything better to do)…

– the final phase of some relationships (erotic rather than commercial, parental or neighbourly). Some people see breaking up as a great tragedy, others as a big joke. It usually takes place at the end of an infatuation or the start of a new one. Manifestations of separation are: crying and wailing, yelling, hair-tearing, cuffing and punching and the issue of various threats. Ditched or dumped are the customary phrases. The break-up of a married couple, which we call divorce, usually contains even more intensive manifestations of all of the above. NOTE:

Breaking up

Before separating, you usually have to get together!

Appropriate TEST
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. You can’t stand the sight of him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You feel like throwing up when near him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES The very thought of kissing him/her brings on a yawn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You never invite her/him to accompany you at parties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You always avoid him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES Any dream of him/her bring on a jinx lasting a whole month . . . . . . . . . YES You use every opportunity to rubbish her/him . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES When he/she talks to you, you ignore him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You refuse to enter the lift together with him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You pray her/his family moves as far away as possible . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO

If you have five or more NOs, YOU’RE JUST ABOUT TO BREAK UP

If you have five YES answers and five NOs, the SEPARATION IS UNDER WAY

If you have more than five YES answers, YOU’VE ALREADY BROKEN UP, HE/SHE JUST DOEN’T KNOW IT YET…

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then coercion goes together with jealousy. and 2) reacting in private and taking their own sweet time. If freedom goes together with love. NOTE: And the same goes for the fair sex. Possessed of an incredible ability to see a threat in everything and everyone. spending most of their time at home. AN EXCELLENT WAY TO PRESERVE PEACE OF MIND AND AVOID BEING JEALOUS Jealousy is usually the result of personal insecurity and disappointment with one’s self rather than love. They watch TV. EXAMPLE: A JEALOUS MAN – never lets his girl out of his sight. and Fido here is also immune to it. If a girlfriend wants to leave a jealous man. The hardest thing to do is start. . as we might think. Jealousy is to love what rust is to iron. I tried to mind my own business and to be as successful as possible in everything I did. but it gets easier as it goes. like envy and greed. make love and bicker. Jealous people exhibit their jealousy in two ways: 1) reacting violently and in public.Jealousy is an emotion. they seldom go out anywhere. such persons find it extremely easy to make scenes at every possible occasion. Hates cuckoos. For reasons of security. play cards or Yatzy. The first thing I did was stop comparing myself with others. This is how I rid myself of my jealousy. he sometimes threatens murder or suicide. Jealous people stubbornly preserve and protect “their property” from all “would-be robbers”. Jealousy has never plagued me since.

despair after rejection. For youngsters and adolescents. playing music to them. insulting them. b) the only sexual acts possible over the phone are foreplay and selfgratification (see page 50). anger during quarrels. the purpose of the phone is to push up the phone bill and provoke quarrels with parents over calls lasting hours at a time. taste. Everything else is not possible – for the moment. smell. heavy breathing… and everything else Alexander Graham Bell never dreamed of when he was inventing this form of telecommunication.plays a very important role in the lives of young people. THE ADVANTAGES OF CALLING YOUR LOVED ONE BY PHONE: THE DISADVANTAGES OF CALLING YOUR LOVED ONE BY PHONE: The telephone a) prevents him/her from seeing your clumsiness in courtship. tears while you’re being dumped b) it’s easier to utter the following sentences: – I love you. hence it is no surprise that the first thing persons in puberty say when they come through the front door is: “Any calls for me?” Persons of the fair sex make fewer calls. – I’ve had enough of you! a) no fewer than four of the five senses are neglected: sight. but they last longer. Such calls include the following activities aimed at pestering blameless telephone subscribers: calling and then hanging up. while males make more calls. touch. – Will you go on a date with me? – I want to make love to you. and most importantly. Lately mobile phones have gained much popularity – most youngsters use them for exhibiting their social status rather than communicating. 47 . albeit shorter ones.

you should inform an adult. Electronic mail makes possible virtually instantaneous transfers of not only text messages. sound and even video recordings to destinations on the other side of the globe. I need to say something on this subject. all that will happen is that you’ll spend even more time on them. I know how difficult it is to rein in your hormones at that age. stay on the Net until your subscription expires. . My dear children. they say.” “How Animals Do It”… You can take an active part in such conferences or just listen in. Let’s try it this way.” “Homosexuals as Fathers. I am certain that you know what is good for you and what isn’t.” “69. Futurists have signaled that virtual sex could be an every-day event in the near future. Be careful when you strike up acquaintances with computer pals – I am talking about letting them know your name.Computer in the service of sex – it’s very difficult to talk about anything nowadays without mentioning computers. Let’s begin with e-mail. If you should receive any indecent offers and suggestions via e-mail. But sometimes people actually meet each in person and even form emotional relationships. and you should be accompanied by some friends. We cannot say whether such virtual sex will rival traditional sex. but at least it will be safer – among other things. but I think you will agree with me when I say that some caution is warranted. I’m sure you’ll be at them like a shot. once beautifully hand-written on the finest paper and sprinkled with perfume. This also goes for sex. Traditional love letters. but also photographs. address. consider very carefully whether you really want to “meet” various degenerates and perverts and whether you want to assume personal responsibility for the fact that instead of spending time with your friends. Besides three-D video head-sets. telephone number. you are doing so with various cybergirls. the most popular Web service. In most cases an exchange of messages will be as far as it goes. there will also be sexual organ attachments enabling a realistic erotic experience. have been completely forgotten as relics of a bygone age. Even if you haven’t heard of them yet. you can strike up new friendships with the help of the Internet. But before you log on. I want to talk about the sex-related sites in which the Internet abounds. school location… If you do meet.” “The Ten Most Important Things a Lesbian Needs to Know. If I advise you not to look at them. We should perhaps mention computer sex conferences with the most diverse subjects: “Sex Under Water. let this happen in a public place. If you think you absolutely need pornography (see page 91) and cannot live without a computer. because you are under age and because of their dubious aesthetic and moral quality. computer viruses cannot harm your health like real viruses… As we have heard. say a café. preferably your parents.

49 . in the bath.Fantazing in the service of sex – its purpose is to inflame the sexual potential of persons of both sexes. sexual prowess does not mean automatic As on your English tests. Conversely. on the beach… Usually begins by imagining naked bodies. but sometimes also romantic scenes. Usually practices in bed.001 Nights. Myra Breckenridge (Gore Vidal). Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov). 1. WARNING: A fertile literary imagination does not necessarily imply imaginative sex. you daydreaming dunce! ADVICE: In your imagination you can do anything you like with anybody – so go ahead and enjoy yourself! ADDITIONAL LITERATURE: The Decameron. ATTENTION: Take very good care to whom you describe your fantasies lest you come to eat your words at a later date! Get up and let an old lady have your seat. Fear of Flying (Erica Jong). in the bus. The Kama Sutra. during classes. Ejaculations. Erections. Exhibitions… by Charles Bukowski… WARNING: Fantasizing can often lead to disappointment (see the preceding image) or to self-gratification (see the next section).

thoughts focus on scenes firing up the sexual imagination. The reason is simple: the male sex organ is much more accessible. while boys do so much. show that males are much more prone to selfgratification than women. Men also get excited much more easily than women. much earlier. masturbation. NOTE: Some women reach orgasm more easily through self gratification than sexual relations. son of Judah. who when having sexual relations with his brother’s wife spilled his sperm on the ground in order to avoid getting her pregnant. During self-gratification. self-abuse – the achievement of sexual pleasure without the direct participation of a second (third. Most girls begin to masturbate only in late adolescence. Men reach orgasm much faster. derived from Onan. self-gratification means satisfying one’s own desires – doing it to yourself. both young and old. Boys usually use visual objects for stimulation. with its significant conclusion at the very end. Polls conducted among men. As the word itself says. while girls prefer verbal fantasies. fourth…) person. I suggest you play with the water while you’re showering! 50 . while women need more time to go through the entire tale.Self-gratification. Boys get using to touching theirs when urinating when they are very young. Once called onanism.

The palm of his right hand was completely black. older and younger people. Apart from being an activity usually practiced behind closed doors. even animals. But they all keep mum about it (especially the latter). 51 . but not mentally. coronary patients and people with casts on their arms. Is that clear?! SELF-GRATIFICATION IS RECOMMENDED: To people who are without a partner: Better a cock in your hand than a hen on a branch! IT IS ESPECIALLY RECOMMENDED: To very young and very virile persons who are physically ready for sex. You’ll go blind! You’ll go crazy! You’ll die! It’ll fall off! It will wither away! FROM THE GUTTER PRESS: Reports have come in of a young man with numerous deformities who lives in a mountain village and has no girlfriend. it is also frowned upon. he had grown a second nose and another ear. We just wonder how a man of his looks ever managed to find himself a woman and what she must have looked like!! You’ll grow hair on your palms and everybody will know what you’ve been doing! You’ll waste away all your sperm and won’t have any left when you really need it! You mustn’t ever fall for stories like this one! Masturbation is a completely natural and normal function which cannot cause any organic changes on or in your body. The situation returned to normal only after he had found himself a girl and stopped his abusing himself. IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED: To elderly persons.Many living things masturbate: your peers.

THE DISADVANTAGES OF A FAIRY TALE: Once it’s over. the two of them couldn’t do it. Try as he might. kiss and hold hands. you meet other people. or wet dreams– happen to males while they’re asleep. The erection then summoned orgasm to help them. your bed is wet and your pyjamas are all sticky… is a very important factor of sex. Working together. Try as they might. He summoned his dreams to help him. he couldn’t do it. Try as the three of them might. just like in a fairy tale. everything is mystical and wonderful. Nocturnal emissions. and sometimes even talk! Dates are classified according to: ORDER: a) the first b) the last c) the first. cheat on each other. When you go on dates. the last and never again ATTENDANCE: a) solo b) twosomes (intimate) c) groups (herds) INTERESTINGNESS: a) boring b) extremely boring c) interesting d) a blast Hanging out with other people 52 . in here once was a young boy who tried to expel his sperm. fall in love. quarrel and make up. they couldn’t do it. hang out together. yawn. you feet are cold. get closer to others.puberty and also later. The dreams summoned erection to help them. they finally managed to eject the sperm. A Boy and his Sperm T THE ADVANTAGES OF A FAIRY TALE: While it lasts.

People who are in puberty should go accompanied by friends. girl and boy friends. concerts. nuclear power stations and the sites of major blazes. opera. we won’t mention that there are: good-night kisses. nose. and never forget it. hand. The more you go out. all in the service of sex.” “I haven’t washed my hair. (pretty) neighbours and school-teachers… We stress here that we are only interested in kissing our loved ones. have-a-nice-trip kisses. Kisses leg… In order not to distract our readers. Lighten up and – can be aimed at one’s accept the invitation. chest. cemeteries. belly. Auntie. Brother. your Thing. the more people you’ll meet and the better your chance to find someone with whom you might spend the rest of your life. They go out EVEN MORE OFTEN to: parks. the ballet. and also safer. DEFINITELY NOT RECOMMENDED FOR DATES ARE: underwater caves. shyness or fear. welcome and happy birthday kisses. Sis. Grandpa. The worst thing to do is to cheek.” “I don’t want to miss Eastenders. stay at home. Happy New Year and happy anniversary kisses. less of a burden or a hassle. talk about it many a time. When will you do it if not now? “I’ve nothing to wear. Father. Uncle. Such outings are more entertaining. schoolyards. good-bye and farewell kisses.” “I haven’t got any money. hair. cinemas. we shan’t mention that kisses are usually directed at Mother. UNUSUAL places for a date: museums. good-morning kisses. Tell them where you’re going and with whom.” “I got my period. Gran. pizza parlors.” “I have loads to e-mails to answer” are nothing but excuses for laziness. People FREQUENTLY go out to: cafes. Let’s begin: 53 .Your first date will always be the most memorable. forehead. tell someone in your family about it. and when you expect to be back. Don’t wince if your younger brother or sister asks you out. Before you go out. You live it through over and over again. lips. gateways and passages. street corners. Go out and meet people whenever you have time to spare. backside. people you’re not comfortable with and dark and lonely places. parties. classical music recitals. Try to avoid suspicious parties. For the same reason.

Why do you ask when you know? 12. adolescent people have a much more constructive attitude towards kissing. Not yet. but I can’t wait! 10. Do you really love me? Apart from their rather silly verses about kissing. more experience and hence also more mature and coherent answers. None of your business. 21.The roots of our interest in kissing can be found in the pre-puberty stages: For example: From my autograph book: I love you! I think you’re wonderful. Not on your life. they beat them – usually on the head! In contrast to the aforementioned population. I don’t want to catch mono! 13. tongue and all? Responses: 1. one more stupidity is characteristic of people not yet in puberty – instead of kissing those they like. Yes. Go and ask Jenny from 4C. / 15. Lots of times! 6. 20. 54 . I stopped counting after the hundredth time! 7. For example: From my autograph book: Question: Have you ever kissed anyone like they do in the movies.

visiting the dentist and using mouth-wash. / 15. step by step. yet others like a combination of the two. Caressing and making out Step No 1 HAND – HAND Step No 2 HAND – SHOULDER Step No 3 HAND – BREAST or Step No 1 HAND – KNEE Step No 2 HAND – THIGH Step No 3 HAND – “THING” 55 . While kissing is done with the lips and tongue. If you only knew! ADVICE: In order for you and your loved one to enjoy kissing each other. Regrettably. Some people prefer kissing. 21. Nothing!!! 13. 12. some touching and stroking. we recommend that you proceed slowly. you should maintain oral hygiene. 9. We shouldn’t even mention alcohol and cigarettes. 7. In all three cases. 6. caressing is done with the hands and fingers. I cannot describe it. I get hot. A prickling sensation on my tongue. Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray! – together with kissing represents foreplay (see next chapter). This means washing your teeth regularly.Question: What do you feel when French-kissing? Responses: 1. 20. You can describe it better than I can. A hard-on. I still don’t know.

actually another chapter – Sex! Finally! 56 . WARNING: Areas most frequently touched: The breasts and genitals of your girlfriend Areas never touched: The breasts and genitals of someone else’s girlfriend. we don’t mean just sexual intercourse and orgasm. a partly or even better completely dark room. A carnal game involving touching. talk to each other and try to find out what is blocking your pleasure. caressing.NOTE: The more relaxed the partners. Enjoy the wonder of your body and freedom of your soul and you’ll know exactly when and what you should or shouldn’t do. DON’T FORGET: Caressing makes sense only when both sides enjoy it. If that is not the case. But sometimes just the last item is sufficient. the better the ultimate result. of course. Sometimes making out requires a special atmosphere. kissing and embracing is also a spiritual game. tenderness and joy. Now let us turn another leaf. soft music and a partner. but also mutual closeness. By ultimate result.

Part III Sex .

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if both partners are willing to experiment. touching. but with another name. Pe tting SEX PETTING ! IT! WA Petting has many good sides. The amorous practices of our grandparents are thus coming back into vogue. or external intercourse. Before you embark on petting. ask yourselves the following questions: – What are my expectations? – Where are the boundaries? – What after? Petting has just one hortcoming – it isn’t intercourse! . caressing. most young people have no fear of premarital sex and even consider it beneficial. Among other things. In today’s world. pregnancy…). It virtually eliminates all risk of pregnancy and sexually – transmitted diseases. masturbation…) but does not include what we are yet to mention (sexual intercourse. but luckily do have a fear of AIDS.Why is Sex So Attractive? – at the same time is and isn’t sex. it allows inexperienced young people who are virgins to be intimate with their partners yet not commence full sexual relations until they feel they are ready for them. Includes everything we have already talked about (kissing. This forced couples to let off their sexual tension by joining forces. by mutual self-gratification. Sex before marriage was very much frowned upon in the past. It can be very stimulating and inspiring.

But the more aroused the fair sex. Determined by the players. ADVICE: Coordinate the play during the game – the better the unity in the team. a romantic walk or a tender phone conversation. We recommend a dinner for two. In the event of insults. The duration is generally determined by the male half. WARNING: When one player says NO. and vice versa. the more involved they are. The female player usually needs more time to relax hence get aroused. You’re only interested in concrete matters. the more certain is a win. Like any sport. angry looks. Soft touching and caressing. it has its rules. 60 . endearment and smiling are desirable. on other occasions one wonders if sex will ever happen. Mutual support. Foreplay is sometimes so short one asks oneself if it happened at all. you don’t seem to be an aficionado of foreplay. passionate embraces and hot kisses make the players more relaxed. TARGET: Sexual intercourse. NOTE: Foreplay allows everything that the players consent to mutually. SCORING: Taking off your clothes doubles your score. NUMBER OF PLAYERS: two RULE: Can begin several hours before the actual game. threats or physical violence. Whispering and teasing contribute to raising sexual tension. OBSERVATION: If you’ve skipped over Chapter One and begun reading this book from here. DURATION OF PLAY: Unlimited. the shorter the game. play is suspended at once.Foreplay is the introduction to sexual relations. The more excited he is. NOTE: Any mention of school and homework is has a counter – productive effect. denigration. and the game more exciting. the game ends and a drama begins. and triples it if you take off your shoes.

the male sex organ is much wider than the urethra and it is not possible to make a mistake. which increases sexual tension. Sexual intercourse is over after the moment of orgasm. For that to happen. screwing. NOTE: Some males. the male sex organ must become harder and bigger than usual (see page 102). don’t know that the female urethra (the tube through which urine is excreted) is quite separate from the vagina (the recipient of the male sexual organ during intercourse). bonking are the main reason why you bought this book.Sexual intercourse. Here are some examples: EXAMPLE No. Besides. Full speed ahead! Just think how we felt while we were writing and drawing! So what exactly is sexual intercourse? TRADITIONAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE begins the moment the moment the male sex organ penetrates the female sex organ. You don’t need to blush. If and when the entire cycle will be repeated depends on external factors. body movements pick up pace. banging. making love. everything’s OK! We understand you and we support you. internal needs and the sexual capacities of the partners. she’s a killer! 61 . humping. until the moment of orgasm (see page 67). 1: What a woman! When I turn off the light. The sexual organs are in contact with each other. but also a small number of women.

The next morning he went with me to the station. His penis soared high. I don’t know how I’ll stand the waiting for next summer to come! EXAMPLE No. 2: Everyone else had gone long ago. Waves lapped our feet and the stars sent kisses from above as we made love. you’re my first! He trembled with excitement. They were one for the millionth time. . and we lay alone on the sand. After living together for 19 years. and he whispered in my ear that he loved me and wanted me like no one ever before. As he kissed me. It was wonderful. and then began to caress each other. Our bodies melted into one.EXAMPLE No. they still played their secret game – Darling. 3: His arm was sliding down her sweaty body. I told him. He looked at her as if to say: – Are you ready? Her smile was the reply: – Yes. dear! He placed his sex between her hot thighs. The sounds of soft music were flowing down the beach from the nearby hotel. He gave me his address and I gave him my necklace. I wanted to make love more than anything else in the world. you’re my first! – and they were happy. Glowing embers flowed through their bodies. He was gentle and caring. First we talked for a long time. I felt my whole body trembling with electricity. He was just touching her ample bosom when she whispered: – Darling.

When the clock struck midnight. and not the groom! IN PREPARATION: Sex on Roller Skates (with foreplay via mobile phone) 63 . He cast off his clothes and lay beside her. She waited for him atremble and more beautiful than ever before. She threw herself into his arms. 4: The night was warm and quiet. Their lips met. if only you were a cook. heart-broken: – My darling. The only sound was an owl hooting from time to time. she cried out. and she forgot the wedding that was take her into the arms of another man the next day. He caressed her budding breasts as her hand slid towards his belly.EXAMPLE No. He ripped off her nightdress with a single move. the moon shining on her milky skin and lithe body. He lifted her and carried her to the bed. he appeared in the garden. They made love for the last time. He walked around the rose-bed and scaled the ivy. As they were at the height of their pleasure. She stood on her balcony with her hair down and in her bare feet. Her skin was soft and tender.

a huge number of spermatozoa enter the uterus. but they are genuine. Its main characteristic is that it features a handsome male lead and a gorgeous female companion. If no fertile egg-cell exists. but Why don’t you give only one manages to penetrate the us a practical egg cell waiting for it in a Fallopian example. speed. they need to apply one or more means of contraception (see page 78). and the unimpregnated egg-cell does the same. During every sex act. viewers are fascinated by their poses. Sex can lead to impregnation. you’re tube. dialogues before. during and after sex and the usually earthshaking orgasmic experience. Sexual relations can take place between: – persons of different sexes – heterosexual relations. That is stifling us with when the development of a child begins… and God forbid if you are theory! under-age (see page 82). They may be less attractive.Sexual relations usually take place for the following reasons: a) curiosity b) boredom c) coercion d) loneliness e) revenge f) fun g) gain. they are simply expelled from the woman’s body. If a couple does not want pregnancy to take place. I’d like to add a few words. We call this impregnation. during menstruation. If you consider this practice. and above everything else: h) love. the sperm all die. Impregnation is the process in which the sperm links up with the egg cell. The film kind can only been seen in films. We differentiate between two types of sexual relations: the film kind and the common kind. A spermatozoon is capable of impregnating an egg-cell in a period of 48 after leaving the man’s body. After a bit of time. Common sexual relations are defined as all those that aren’t of the cinematic kind. dexterity. and – persons of the same sex – homosexual relations (see pages 72 and 73). I wonder what you define as theory?! 64 . An egg-cell can remain fertile for three or four days at most. or pregnancy. All right. Apart from the protagonists themselves.

My dear girls. NO! NO! 65 . It confuses both yourself and your partner. Only after you have learned to say NO will your YES acquire true strength and meaning. it is just important for men. That is why you need to be precise. yet always say NO. emotional. I don’t advise you to have sex before you really get to know each other. yet others fear they might be dumped of they refuse to go to bed with someone… Some (but not very many) actually yearn for sex. NO is particularly important on a first date. However important NO is for the fair sex.Say YES. Some cannot express in words what they feel for their partner. It involves a mental. and vice versa. especially young people. learn to say NO whenever you mean NO. agreeing to have sex is a matter of the body. others long for some tenderness. It isn’t all the same if you say YES and mean NO. At first sight. However bright the moonlight and however irresistible he might be. begin sexual relations without exactly why they are doing so. Say knowing NO – many people. and it also confuses the writers of this book. But it is a much more complex problem. social and ethical decision all in one.

Erogenous zones change with the passage of time and change of partner. as long as it is acceptable to both partners. 66 NOTE: It isn’t important just what you touch. In this way the partners can find each others’ erogenous zones easily and strengthen their link. breasts (particularly nipples). You can recognise erogenous zones by the fact that caressing them induces especial pleasure. and of course the genitals. the nape of your neck. What gave exceptional pleasure during sex with one partner may not be so to a new one. But a new partner can also reveal new pleasures. while others prefer strength and firmness.Why is sex mysterious? Erogenous zones – body parts with numerous nerve endings. Lesser known erogenous zones are: …you really want to have everything served on a platter! A little work on your own wouldn’t be amiss! Mutual exploration is even more useful and interesting. . Everything is OK. The usual erogenous zones are: the mouth. Some people like gentleness and subtlety. but also how. the inner and upper thighs.

for any reason whatsoever – so what. creaking of the bed. it’s neither the first nor the last time that happened! 67 . and taking pleasure in sex has become a right for women fully equal to that enjoyed by men. while problems with erection appear only in real life. Besides giving satisfaction. Orgasms can be of the film kind and the common kind (just like sex). make love. In the past. or even a sin. play with each other. sighing and moaning. Some other cultures treated the woman as the most wonderful thing in the world and sex as a gift and the joy of living. and is therefore the subject of much more study by scientists (and others). If it didn’t exist. muscle spasms. we wouldn’t be here. not just in the genital area. ADVICE: Relax. Its imperial appearance is attended by a number of different changes: an indescribable feeling of warmth. but the entire body. The crown of sexual relations. Should orgasm not take place. an accelerated heartbeat. It is followed by a feeling of relief and relaxation. It is the male orgasm that is of decisive importance – a woman can get pregnant even without feeling the slightest tinge of pleasure. turn off your brain completely. Women’s position in society has changed enormously. These views existed mainly in Western civilisation. Simultaneous orgasm is mainly confined to the cinema. women were expected only to bear children. Faked orgasms exist in real life just like they exist in films. it was held to be disgraceful. contraction of the uterus. most importantly of all. What makes the orgasm different from everything else is the feeling of total satisfaction. Philosophising. The brain’s role was completed in the “do I want to have sex” phase. Sexual pleasure wasn’t just undesirable. heavy breathing. dispensing advice and wit during sex isn’t at all conducive to orgasm and is enjoyed even less by your partner.His Highness the Orgasm – the most exciting yet shortest phase of sex. the orgasm is also responsible for procreation (see page 76). ejaculation of sperm. awakening family members and neighbours etc. and. sometimes loud noises. A woman’s orgasm takes many more and different forms than the male orgasm. prepare contraception.

or maidenhead. The pain isn’t strong. When the male sexual organ enters the vagina during the girl’s first sexual experience. drinks. a fire in the fireplace (not in summertime!) soft music. adulthood. So what then do you want? VIRGIN: Everyone except me has already done it! What’s the rush? VIRGIN: I don’t want to miss The Simpsons! 68 . and. experience. and the problem of the blood can be solved by placing a towel under you. is tissue covering the entrance to the vagina. causing a temporary pain and bleeding.Virginity – today once a great virtue for girls. a bathroom at hand. but a major pain. This means that you need everything that you don’t have and will not have in the very near future. * The hymen. kiss. while those of others may be so flexible that there is no bleeding during penetration. a candle-lit dinner for two. an empty flat. and is thus easier to forget or confuse with a fourth or fifth. it penetrates the hymen. Sometimes girls can even split their hymen before their first sexual experience. A second and a third are never as exciting. most importantly of all – a loved one. going on holidays without your parents – is remembered for all time. First loves are never forgotten… Full enjoyment of sex requires love. The same goes for sex. There are even girls who have no hymen. spontaneity. Every “first” – date. “The first time” is always the most important – it causes excitement. a comfortable bed. trepidation but also a great feeling of joy. Many girls await the penetration of their hymen* with great trepidation. Although mothers are still busily injecting panic into their daughters’ hearts about their first sexual relations.

when you have a condom at hand and other contraceptives near by. it will be welcome”. patient and oversensitive with each other. who are too caring. the partners postpone it for some other “first time”. This usually happens to persons of a similar age. Iako deluje pribrano. both physically and mentally. to je vi{e u`ivanja. your motto should be “Whenever it happens. a {to je manje straha. 69 . I AM AFRAID OF: • pain • pregnancy • farting accidentally • my mother coming into the room • of making a fool of myself • not knowing what to do • not feeling anything at all • not being able to get a hard-on • what will happen after • subsequent rumours • him/her using me •… Have you found any of you fears in the list above? Is it easier now that you know others also have various fears? Is it perhaps even more difficult for you now that we have given you ideas for fresh fears? ABSOLUTE RUBISHH: The (mythical) belief that you cannot get pregnant during your first sexual experience!!! YOU CAN! PRACTICE HAS SHOWN: The “first time is sometimes drawn out into three or four episodes – when the time for sex comes. SAVET: Ukoliko si pred prvi seksualni odnos napet/a i nervozan/na reci to svom voljenom bi}u. nije isklju~eno da se tvoje voljeno bi}e ose}a isto kao i ti. In spite of all urgings and warnings for or against. my dears. Oslu{nimo na trenutak kakve sve strahove izaziva prvi seksualni odnos. ima}e{ manje straha.Please don’t rush into things. a mo`da i gore. Your FIRST TIME must take place only when you are completely ready. Sve {to si sigurniji/a u sebe i svog partnera. Sex requires matureness and a level head.

you are passing through new experiences. your feelings are too string… yet you wouldn’t mind if you had an orgasm. she won’t 70 . clumsy insertion into her vagina. premature ejaculation… but don’t expect fiery sex and an earthshaking orgasm. because you aren’t very likely to get much.A WARNING FOR THE FAIR SEX: Don’t expect too much from your first sexual experience. You never know. But miracles do take place sometimes – you could be one of the lucky few. The best route to it is true love for your loved one. Losing your virginity is called losing your cherry. Your attention is spread among many sides. especially if it is also the first time for your partner. Expect problems with your erection. We shall list here the best and least known: The best known positions: Positions 1) he on top 2) she on top 3) sitting down 4) doggie style 5) from behind 6) standing up 7) he wants. A WARNING FOR THE MALE SEX: Don’t expect too much from your first sexual experience. because you aren’t very likely to get much. especially if it is also the first time for your partner. – the various positions in which you can make love.

There are only two rules in sex: 1) there are no rules. and 2) there may not be any coercion. What is your opinion? We believe that there are neither right or wrong things in sex. Can be one-sided or mutual. some detest it. and some indifferent. ADVICE: If your loved one does not want to fulfil some desire of yours. Whatever you consent to mutually. – stimulating the genitals with your tongue and mouth. Some are scandalised. In that case you’ll certainly not take oral sex to mean talk about sex.The least known positions: 1) he standing on her head 2) she standing on his head 4) he standing – 3) she hanging – he hanging 7) she wants 6) she standing – he’s fallen a sleep she hanging he won’t 5) she standing – he hanging NOTE: If you haven’t understood sexual positions as acrobatic or athletic skills. leave him/her alone. Some love oral sex. some astounded. whatever you both like and enjoy – that is the right thing. He/she’ll either do it some other day or never – but it’s his/her decision! Oral sex This picture is here purely by accident and has nothing to do with the text! 71 . you’re on the right road.

they just go underground. they don’t change. yet others with abhorrence. but of natural curiosity. Boys in puberty often like to show each other their sexual organs. testing. so I do need to say a few words. compare and measure them. there always have been and there always will be homosexuals. Like to be called gays. no one can say with certainty why some men prefer their male to their female friends. and even masturbate together. Some people view this with understanding and approval. The exact reason why some men are homosexual remains unknown. This type of sex requires a condom because of the large number of germs inside the anus and the possibility of contracting the HIV virus. It’s just the way it is. The anus. rather than fags. In spite of extensive scientific research.Anal sex – we’ll talk about it once you’ve improved your grades! Better to stick to the traditional entrances and exits! Well. contains numerous nerve endings. Homosexuals 72 . exploration and competition. or rectum. some with less understanding. all right! I see you’re putting in a lot of effort and are plagued by curiosity. Whatever anyone might think. Stimulating it could cause pleasant feelings both for men and women. If their environment lambastes and chastises them. homosexuals live quite openly and even marry one another. This need not be a sign of homosexuality. There is talk about allowing homosexuals being allowed to adopt children. Enough for now and back to your books! “You’ll learn when you grow up!” – men who have sexual relations with other men. But anal sex can also be very painful and cause bleeding. In many Western countries.

this does not mean you are a homosexual or a lesbian. This is biologically the most favourable solution. confidence. closeness and allegiance. live together and have sexual relations. The same things that go for homosexuals (see previous page) also go for lesbians (also called female homosexuals). A person with a healthy sex life Pleasure Why is sex beneficial? A person without a healthy sex life 73 . as it ensures procreation. This means they can enjoy sex both with their own sex and the opposite sex. An adult person with a healthy sex life is very different from one without a healthy sex life (see pictures). But the majority of all people do pick someone of the opposite sex. but rather friendship.– women who fall in love with other women. This also need not have anything to do with lesbianism. They often hold hands when they walk and spend a lot of time together. Girls in puberty are usually very tender and caring for one another. You might view it as a test of sorts. have relationships with them. training or preparation for future heterosexual relations. Lesbians – sex liberates your tension and produces great satisfaction. If you have had sexual relations with a person of your own sex. Many people are bisexual.

you answer these questions. of course. Pregnancy begins at the moment of conception (see page 61) and ends with childbirth. – Am I ready? – Who is the person with whom I want to have sexual relations? – Why and for what reasons do I want to do it? – Where will we make love? – Am I in love? – What am I expecting? – What are the consequences? – Which contraceptives will I use to protect myself? Pregnancy – during takes place if a woman has had sex her fertile days * without using a contraceptive. but one step at a time. That is how pregnancy is seen by doctors. and one might say also inconsiderate. You won’t believe it. but even that will give you satisfaction! By assuming responsibility for their actions.If you want to experience full satisfaction in sex. * For most women. I suggest that before you begin sexual relations with someone. you need to know exactly what you want of yourself and your partner. This is not a simple thing. more secure and happier. and this is how we see it: 74 . they are the 14th. people become stronger. 15th and 16th days after the beginning of their periods. four. This count is not valid for women with irregular monthly cycles. Curious. physicians peeked into women’s bodies and discovered that the fertilised egg-cell divides into two. “no one was born smart”. eight cells and so on until it reaches a raspberry-sized complex from which a human being then slowly and gradually develops in a period of nine months.

In the eighth month of pregnancy. the baby busily prepares to face the outer world. as some think. and the long-awaited event: CHILDBIRTH! What Mum feels like before she gives birth Mum only knows — What she feels like after giving birth. the baby is already waiting for its stork or cabbage leaf to take it out into the world. Finally. For the entire duration of the pregnancy. but it definitely isn’t stupid. month nine. heaven only knows! 75 . It knows exactly what is and what isn’t good for it.In the first few months of pregnancy. the baby may be small.

CONCLUSION: We mustn’t stop making love. STORK. the family has been neglected. This is what she told us (or as long as we cared to listen…): . in the true sense of the word. we located a prominent expert in family matters (my Gran). EITHER! LONG LIVE ALL MOTHERS AND FATHERS! CHILDREN ARE NOT THE FRUIT OF LOVE. we wouldn’t be here today. If it exists at all.Procreation is the biggest and most important benefit arising form sex. BECAUSE: If our ancestors had not made love.. BUT MUM WON’T LET ME! IF YOUR PARENTS DIDN’T HAVE CHILDREN. BUT THE FRUIT OF SEX! 76 AUTHOR’S NOTE: The best thing that could happen to a child would be for both parents to care about it equally. BRING ME A BROTHER! BETTER SEX THAN WAR! THE WHITE PLAGUE IS THE BIGGEST SHAME! I WANT TO BE BORN. Here are a few slogans: MAKE LOVE. NOT WAR! PLEASE MR. But in the world we live in. so that our descendants can continue being born and multiplying. In an effort to explain as well as possible the importance of the family both for individuals and for society. it survives for a relatively short time. YOU WON’T HAVE THEM.

if it happens at all. combing you hair. fourth) time and there are new children.The family is sacred. and then got to know each other. airing out your room and changing your bedlinen. relatives. excess hair removal (women’s wax treatments). but at least I always tried to preserve my family. manicures (hand and fingernail care). Depends on the people involved and their temperaments. women marry a second (third. children. getting haircuts. the order is reversed – first the child. 77 . Nowadays. ironing and cycling your attire regularly. cleaning your teeth.. but it is the children who suffer. friends. washing. The young people of today – the minute they disagree on something comes the divorce. the proper order was maintained: a lad and a lass got married. The adultsdo manage to create new lives for themselves eventually. then they live together. I never had it easy in life. What else do I need to learn? Hygiene means washing you face. In some places it works. New linkages are made fast. cleaning your shoes. In my day and age. Children came at the very end.. pedicures (foot and toenail care). ask your own Gran. Be wise and. bathing or showering. hairdressing and applying perfume. in some it doesn’t. They divide their property. shaving. and the wedding is last. keeping your room and also the rest of your home tidy — and only then make-up. IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: If you want to hear more.

“safe days” do not exist! FATHER Contraceptive 78 . Reading it together could be very interesting. Water is excellent for foreplay. traumas. and also very useful. Some people are reluctant to have sex because of a fear of unwanted pregnancy or of contracting a sexually-transmitted disease. They are of tremendous importance for all those loath to rock a baby. Contraceptives prevent unwanted conception during sex. fears. But if you think your life would be better with a host of problems. hysterical outbursts and similar.Some people are reluctant to have sex with others because they think their partners’ cleanliness is suspect. But if you do change your mind some day. and also for genital hygiene. Wait a while and your life will begin going downhill. I am happy to suggest taking a bath together. Counting and calculating your fertile days never did anyone of your age any good. a gynecologist (see page 81) or an experienced person you trust. I am more than happy to suggest that you read the next chapter. high stress levels. Remember. IMPORTANT NOTE: Never use the “safe days” as a method of contraception. talk to a youth counselor. wherever and whom ever you want. then go ahead and make love without protection.

Condoms past their sell-by date are also unsafe. newsstalls and supermarkets. but not enough in themselves – caution is always advised! – at the same time ever day (except for a one-week break). Of course. provided the pills are taken properly Spirals – contraceptives made of soft plastic materials. Can be bought in pharmacies. Oral contraceptives – excellent contraceptives. although they use it for a completely different purpose – throwing water balloons at passers-by. Inserted into the uterus and can stay 79 there for several years. RECOMMENDATION: Contraceptive pills are definitely not recommended for forgetful and senile persons! All others may use them with an easy mind and have sex with no fear of unwanted pregnancy. Besides preventing pregnancy. it is also excellent protection from sexually – transmitted diseases and the HIV virus. Once it was purchased with a red face and while looking over your shoulder. most widespread and most INCORRECT accessible contraceptive. So well USE known and abundant that even little CORRECT USE children own some. wallets…). WARNING: A condom is not always easy to put on. shapes. Condoms bought in pharmacies are generally safer than those bought at newsstands. while nowadays it is produced in various colours. when the cervix is the softest and the insertion painless. You need a prescription for them from your gynecologist. Spirals are very reliable contraceptives. or prophylactic – the best known. A condom is soft rubber sheath placed on the penis to prevent sperm from entering into the vagina. More suitable for older women than for younger ones. They should not be kept in warm places (pockets. and is bought quite openly.Condom. what interests us here is its primary function. smells and sizes. but only by a doctor. May not be inserted by a woman’s partner. but is always difficult to remove. You must be very careful not to allow sperm to leak and enter the vagina – that could ruin all the trouble you’d gone to. It follows from all the above that condoms are reliable contraceptives. during menstruation. . as they will no longer be reliable.

Most men ejaculate before they withdraw their penises. Inserted into the vagina ten minutes before every sexual intercourse. who will check whetherthe spiral’s all right. IT ISN’T TRUE that having sex standing up will prevent pregnancy. 80 . whether it might have fallen out – it doesn’t happen often. so that he is unable to keep his firm promise. Don’t worry. The story that sperm cannot swim uphill is as true as the myth that they always run downhill. but it is possible. jellies and AB cream – can be obtained without a prescription. Not fully reliable and should be used in parallel with another contraceptive method. creams. Foams. IT ISN’T TRUE that unwanted sperm can be removed with a shower or thorough wash immediately after sex. Pregnancy cannot be avoided in this way! IT ISN’T TRUE that the (in)famous coitus interruptus represents protection from pregnancy. Ladies. from time to time you need to visit your gynecologist. during sex your penis cannot get entangled in a spiral. which can be an interesting part of foreplay for the couple. you’ll never even feel it. Quite often an orgasms will surprise a man.Chaps.

D. At least that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Sometimes a single discussion with a psychologist is enough to turn an adolescent’s life 180 degrees (for the better. You’ll admit you seldom hear anyone being in terror of visiting a urologist. get dressed and go and see your doctor. of course!). a man or a woman with a Ph. determines necessary therapy. In spite of all their work. ADVICE: Have a bath. Many sexual problems and psychological rather than physical in character. advises. who read somewhere that you should… A gynecologist performs gynecological examinations and renders expert opinions. my dear? . urologists are never as popular as gynecologists. So if something troubles you go and see a psychologist – an hour spent talking to a psychologist is worth more than days and weeks spent with various Agony Aunts. refer to you.The gynecologist – a medical expert. Does this Of course not. helps in childbirth… This all points to a very friendly and confidential relationship between a woman and her gynecologist. in medical science and specialist training. helps maintain pregnancies. Many women are terrified of their gynecologists and avoid visiting them for years. This role may on no account be assuemd by your best friend. Urologist – a medical specialist who handles the diseases of the male genitourinary tract. Does this mean that men are generally more courageous? Psychologist – also holds an important post in this section. even decades.

neighbours. younger sisters and people of a similar level of competence THE SMARTEST THING: going to a youth counseling centre or a gynecologist for information about contraception THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: Never having an abortion. especially for women. and even her life. then it becomes a nightmare. when your pregnancy test comes out positive. the darker the abortion. If it is carried out by an incompetent person. suffer from morning sickness and vomiting and crave for vinegary foods. Abortions are never carried out in the last three months of pregnancy. If this section was boring and incomprehensible. you should ask yourself what sort of bozo you are. * You know you are pregnant: when you’ve missed your period. In contrast to a miscarriage. abortion is a forcible removal of the foetus (embryo of the baby). Later than that and it could threaten a women’s physical or mental health. this means you’re a mature and responsible person. 82 . Abortion is among the darker sides of sex. If this section made you laugh. which happened by itself. it’s relatively safe. The younger the woman. when your gynecologist says so If reading this section has made you pause for thought. If an abortion is carried out in the early months of pregnancy (until the 12th week). traumas and a risk of permanent sterility THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: finding out you’re pregnant* as early as possible THE STUPIDEST THING: trying to conceal your pregnancy THE MOST DIFFICULT THING: Telling your mother! JUST AS DIFFICULT: Telling your father! THE MOST DANGEROUS THING: having an abortion after the third month EVEN MORE DANGEROUS: Expecting incompetent persons to help you THE MOST NAÏVE THING: Consulting with friends. REASON FOR ABORTION: Unwanted pregnancy CONSEQUENCES OF ABORTION: fear. put away the book and go back to your Barbie dolls.What are the darker sides of sex? Abortion – termination of a pregnancy.

so dark that it’s an absolute nightmare. WE DIDN’T SAVE ON PAPER. gonorrhea. Itching. vaginitis… SYMPTOMS: may be very different. If you try to treat them by yourself. The best protection: CONDOMS and FIDELITY of the partners. TYPES OF DISEASES: syphilis. YOU SHOULD NOW HOW SERIOUS AIDS REALLY IS. it’s FATAL. they only get even darker and more dangerous. swellings. AIDS sufferers usually DIE in great pain. redness. HOMOSEXUALS AND PROMISCUOUS PERSONS (those who often change partners in sex) Transmitted through the BLOOD or SEXUAL RELATIONS. or by relying on laymen’s advice.Sexually-transmi tted or Venereal diseases – a very dark side of sex. herpes. a prickling sensation. Members of the following groups have a bigger than average risk of contracting the HIV virus: HAEMOPHILIACS. 83 . – the darkest side of sex. Aids TO MAKE SURE YOU’D READ THIS SECTION AT LEAST TWICE. DRUG ADDICTS. depending on the affliction. it’ll go away by itself ESPECIALLY NEGATIVE: It’s a major bother and also a great disgrace ESPECIALLY POSITIVE: Nothing Those that understand how dangerous sexually-transmitted diseases are may read on. AIDS CANNOT BE CURED. secretions… TRANSMISSION: Easy and fast HOW: Sexual relations TREATMENT: Lengthy and tedious PROTECTION: Condoms PREVENTION: Avoiding sexual relations if one of the partners suspects the existence of a sexually – transmitted disease RISKS: Frequent change of partner and poor hygiene DELUSIONS: It only happens to others. The others should re-read this section until they comprehend it fully. Now go on.

Without showering or washing yourself. slapping across the face. Sexual violence is far more widespread than you might think. The best protection: CONDOMS and FIDELITY of the partners. PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE: Avoid dark and lonely places! Always carry a flashlight. and only then to the police. brutality. or has consented under duress. It is punishable by law. demonstration of force or an act of humiliation rather than an attempt to achieve sexual satisfaction. AIDS sufferers usually DIE in great pain. – sexual contacts to which one person has not consented voluntarily of knowingly. HOMOSEXUALS AND PROMISCUOUS PERSONS (those who often change partners in sex) Transmitted through the BLOOD or SEXUAL RELATIONS. condemnation or adverse comments. so dark that it’s an absolute nightmare. Rape can inflict both physical and mental consequences on its victims. OF COURSE: You mustn’t invent anything that didn’t really happen! Aids ADVISABLE: Spreading the word about AIDS TRIED AND TESTED: God protects those who protect themselves! Sexual violence Rape – sexual relations carried out without the consent of one person. It is usually an expression of anger. DRUG ADDICTS. Mace or siren! Avoid inflaming male passions if you’re not willing to have sex! Stay out of the cars and flats of people you don’t know! Be as sober and careful as possible! 84 . AIDS CANNOT BE CURED. you must immediately tell a person you trust about it. revenge by their assailant.– the darkest side of sex. it’s FATAL. something like this happens to you. Members of the following groups have a bigger than average risk of contracting the HIV virus: HAEMOPHILIACS. Its victims can be both female and male. shame on their whole family… COMPULSORY: If. They are afraid of a feeling of guilt or shame. Usually attended by physical violence. Its victims are usually reluctant to talk about their bad experiences. crying and fear. go to your Gynecologist at once. God forbid.

– sexual violence within a family. teacher or eve a family member (see the next section) ADDITION II: If you see any suspicious individuals hanging around your school. Like the other forms of sexual violence. a stepfather. they are usually compelled to keep it secret. Pedophilia or child abuse means sexual relations between a child and an older person not related to the child. stroking your leg or God forbid even shoving his hand into your panties. They fear that they won’t be believed. stepmother or more distant relatives. you must immediately inform a teacher. let it be our little secret!” or “Tell anyone a word and you’ll regret it!” Find an adult you trust and do the exact opposite! 85 . If children are involved. its consequences for the children are very negative. the headmaster. but scream off the top of your head: “Help! Police! Help!” If the maniac is by some chance a person who is close to you. husband. It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between incest and simple closeness and love between relatives. a parent or the nearest police station. Incest In case some old geezer starts blowing in your face. Both the aggressor and the victims can be male or female.ADDITION I: Rape can also be committed by someone you know – a friend. scream even louder! You must never fall for statements like this one – “Don’t tell anyone about this. boyfriend. perpetrated by next of kin. Pedophilia sometimes also involves prostitution. Children usually succumb because they are terror-stricken and ashamed. that they will be punished or that the sexual violence will spread to other family members. staring at your bosom. don’t be scared and lose your wits.

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Part III Around Sex .

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. adults begin punishing them – not only banning the use of profanity. Usually demonstrate their bad language in public or forbidden places. but even discussing it. While kids are small.. laughter or even money. If only they themselves never cussed! 89 . adults love to teach them to swear..Is t i good or bad? Swearing and bad languagewrite – frequently heard from adolescents. who have an ardent need to both utter and them. But as soon as the kids break away and start to expand their language on their own. They are even rewarded with applause.. .which is definitely not good.

. Yours ……! 90 . it’s individual.. The best thing is that we all follow our own discretion and decide what we like and don’t like. in video rentals … but also in museums. So take things into your own hands and get to work. how far are they from the town centre? Well. Eroticism can also exist in fully – clothed persons. exhibitions. but please also explain how we can reach the bounds of decency. INFORMATION: Erotic materials can be found at news-stands. slight nervousness and sexual arousal. MESSAGE FOR A LOVED ONE: Please be erotic and write me a love poem. Usually causes a red face. unease and confusion. publish it and dedicate it to me. car or ship? By the way. Well said. IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW: Erotics write love poems. Nudity is not a compulsory part of erotica. a quicker heartbeat. go ahead and write an entire collection of poems. libraries. If it goes well. One and the same thing may be taboo for some and an everyday thing for others. cinemas. but also shame.Erotica – literature or art dealing with sexual love. By foot. Just like sexuality. of course! Very grateful in advance.

pornography is interested in only one thing – openly showing male and female genitals and sexual relations. hookers.Pornography – spreading debauchery and obscenity by depicting naked and seminaked men and women. high anxiety and sexual arousal. But regardless of the law. IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW: A pornographer is a writer or artist creating works depicting debauchery. shock and revulsion. Prostitutes often transmit venereal disease and the HIV virus. It’s a very hard and risky profession. especially in the lives of harlots. Prosti tution – derived from the Latin word prostitutio and means debauchery and selling one’s body for money. usually provoking redness in the face. but sometimes also horror. BUTCHER 91 . although you can find it everywhere (see the corner news-stand). as it existed as such in the time of the ancient Greeks and Romans. In some countries it has been legalised. Prostitutes are generally called whores. Today prostitution is more widespread than ever. which focus on the aesthetic side. a quicker heartbeat. Male prostitutes are called gigolos. we won’t try to explain how you can get access to it. INFORMATION: As pornography is banned to persons under the age of 18. Calling prostitution the world’s oldest profession isn’t unfounded. it seems impossible to eradicate. In contrast with erotic materials.

92 . On the contrary. depending on the level of exhibitionism. NOTE: Peeping Toms and flashers are not dangerous as such. sometimes making a frightening or at least a stupid face at the same time. NOTE: When partners in sex take off their clothes and look at each other. The best known exhibitionist is a flasher. a person who puts on an overcoat with nothing under it. ignore them or threaten to call the police and go home at once. but meeting them is not pleasant. Being an exhibitionist is just as commendable as being a Peeping Tom. whom he then ambushes by jumping out in front of them and opening his overcoat. their action is stimulating. hangs around dark corners and waits for innocent victims. Present themselves to the world in a dressed or undressed state. Being a Peeping Tom is definitely not commendable. but sometimes also masturbates. – a man or a woman who loves to be watched by others more than anything else in the world. they aren’t being exhibitionists or perverts. See picture. Exhibitionist Orgies – sex with more than two people involved. while hiding behind bushes or through keyholes – until he’s driven off. Sometimes content with just watching. If it happens to you.Peepingpeople Tommaking – Secretly watches love.

WARNING: If your name is Narcissus. the mother killed herself at once. and. avoid looking at yourself in the mirror too often and too long. worst of all. while Oedipus first blinded himself and then killed himself. but also family quarrels. The gods later turned his body into the flower called after him. There are two types of myths: – ancient sexual myths. No one doing that can be called clever or normal. Today we say someone is narcissistic when he or she is self-centred and obsessed with his own physical or mental attributes. gradually wasting away and finally dying from unfulfilled desire after himself (what a geek!).Talking about Sex We divided this chapter into two parts so as to impress you with our knowledge and studious approach. 93 . Located at the site of today’s Dead Sea (that should make everything clear!). SODOM AND I GOMORRAH – Biblical cities of sin and debauchery burned down in sulphur and tar. NARCISSUS – a youth who saw his image in a lake and fell in love with it. had four children with her. When they found out their mistake. Ancient sexual myths OEDIPUS – unwittingly killed his own father and married his own mother. and: – contemporary sexual myths. The Oedipus complex is the subject of numerous works of art and literature. It is also copulation with animals. Sodomy is anal or oral sex.

Contemporary sexual myths
Marjorie, what do you say to the idea that we two collect all our myths and publish them. Do you like my idea?

No!

Am I pregnant? – a question often seen in READERS’ COLUMNS. You’ve probably
seen many already, and perhaps even written one.

Dear So and So,
Please help me! I am beside myself with fright. Our class was on a hiking trip on Saturday. We walked for three hours and I was so tired I almost collapsed. When we reached the top, I sat down on a rock. A friend told me that minutes before a boy called Jack from another form had sat on the rock and that I was probably pregnant. At first I though she was pulling my leg, but as time passes it looks more and more as if she was right. I don’t feel too well and my stomach has been growing. Jill Dear Jill, Your question will be answered by our pregnancy expert once she’s returned from maternity leave. Until then, please go on a diet! The editor

Marjorie, do you remember when you...

No I don’t, and will you stop interrupting me all the time!

94

Coming isnine times in a row the dream of every male. As
youngsters they dream about it, in their prime they work at it, and in their old age talk they about it. Their boyhood dream turns into an eternal dream. Let’s hear a tragic story proving the point. When I first heard about the record, I was ten. It was accomplished by a certain Tom Jones from 7c. Well, Tom was quite a bit older than we were because he’d flunked a year twice. During his record-breaking attempt, he held before him the photograph of an unknown blonde (undressed) lying on a tiger skin (artificial). His accomplishment took place before two witnesses who’d previously taken an oath. Since then I have been trying to break Tom’s record. In the past 39 years I have never been able to go past ONE. I’ll be turning 50 tomorrow. I have decided to officially stop trying. Nine times in a row – only Tom Jones could have done something like that. Recently I heard that Tom moved to Australia and that his son can do it ten times in a row.

Sexual stimulants or aphrodisiacs – serve to boost sexual potency. Sometimes taken of one’s own free will, but more often without one’s knowledge*. There are
many types of aphrodisiacs, but the best known is called Spanish Fly. *usually put secretly into a drink. Have you heard the story about the girl who had a sexual stimulant put in her drink without her knowledge? Read on.

There once was a young girl (who we think is probably pretty old by now) who went out one night with a lad (whom we think she didn’t know too well). They sat and talked and everything was fine, until she went to powder her nose, and the lad put an aphrodisiac into her drink (probably quite a strong one). As they sat down in the car (he was taking her home, we guess), the drug began to hit her. She got randier and randier and barely managed to contain herself. When she could no longer restrain herself, she jumped straight on to the gear-stick!
MORAL: Don’t go out with people you don’t know! Don’t go to the bathroom, and if you must, take your drink with you. Fall for the boy, not the gear-stick!
Pant, pant...

Many people believe eating honey and walnuts enhance sexual prowess! NO ONE WHO IS NORMAL BELIEVES that alcohol, tobacco and drugs boost potency!

95

Sex Through History

Spouses were once chosen by parents under the following pretext: “We’re older and thus wiser, which means that we know better than you do what is
good for you. How can a child of 16 or 17 know whether it’s better to buy a plot of arable land or an orchard? Weddings were scheduled only after the two sides’ relatives had reached agreement on moveable and immovable property (provided a row hadn’t broken out in the meantime). In many cases the bride and groom met for the very first time at their wedding. Surprises were many, usually unpleasant. You can just imagine how perplexed the newly-weds were during their first night!! NOWADAYS: Parents no longer pick our future wives or husbands – we now have to make the wrong choice ourselves!

Marjorie, let me tell you how on your first night you…

Maybe, but let me then tell YOU how on your honeymoon…

All right, all right, perhaps it’s better is we went on to the next section at once!

Nothing before we're married, in other words:
Get away from me! Who do you take me for? Get out! Take you hands off me!
You should be ashamed of yourself!

I’ll call mother!
Don’t you dare touch me!

96

sew. I know very well what it’s like when you fall in love. * the property which a woman brings to her husband at marriage. Before you begin a new romantic and sexual relationship. weave. have the courtesy to break off the old one. And neither will I stoop to calling men male chauvinist pigs. wash. Her genital area was locked up. stitch. clean. Malefemale relations are far too complex in their simplicity. Their first sexual relation took place during their wedding night. and thus forgotten. but some things have to be respected.Sentences like these were uttered by this and similar girls who wanted to give their future husbands their chastity (see page 68). Chastity belt I won’t weep over the sad fate of us women.) except have sex. iron. Is it easier to cheat on someone than to break up?? 97 . – means “Sit and wait for me. a wife could do pretty much everything (knit. But let’s leave that subject for another time! A word or two about infidelity. That would mean entering into be a vicious circle which is difficult to leave. It’s wonderful. The bride’s mother-in-law established whether she was a virgin or not by inspecting the bed-sheets the next morning.. I’ll be back when the time for it comes!” While her husband was away on his business. besides their dowry*. It isn’t easy to be both happy and right.

though. that open questions require open dialogue. a condom in your pocket and make your way to the exit.Take your life in your hands. uncover and cover things. look at things and people. we need to do one more thing: Proficiency Examination We have three different tests for you: 1.Before we part our ways You have to admit that you know many more things now than you did 98 pages ago. For partially correct answers you get five points. Remember. You have to find the answer to them by yourself. Readers with the highest scores will be awarded this special DIPLOMA: 98 . Add up the points. and zero if you get it wrong. But before we give each other a goodbye kiss..Clothes On and Clothes Off 3. put some sense in your head.True or False DIPLOMA HIGHLIY-SKILLED SEXUAL BEGINNER Getting everything right in each tests wins you ten points.. and open up some. Recognition and Familiarisation 2. We tried to answer some questions. Chin up high and full speed ahead! Read. multiply by two. forget some altogether. as you will never grow up if you avoid gaining personal experience. subtract from the age in years of the oldest reader and divide by your grandfather’s shoe size.

Likes reading. In time. girls. stare and inspect. but sees nothing going for it. extremely boring in his old age.1. HORNY HERBERT – knows for his extensive porn and erotica collection. Her strongest weapon is the icy look with which she can instantly freeze a man fired up to melting point. but cools very rapidly. squeeze and pinch. and exaggerate everything. The most ardent of the species think all men are pigs and should not be offered pearls (while thinking of themselves). Has nothing against sex. Often hangs around nude beaches and sex shops. Spends her entire life waiting for a prince on a white horse to ring her door bell. By completing this task successfully. LOONY TUNE – very interesting when he was young. either. Recogni tion and Familiarisation – a very important task for those currently on the lookout for a future loved one. measure them up. During normal sex. doing crossword puzzles and telling jokes about blondes. you will also begin to recognize persons other than those who are loud and self-centred. favourite music. Likes to throw comments at girls. you will have learned to recognise the various details. the shorter and less attractive is sex with him. CLEVER BOOTS – knows everything about everything. You just need to be near enough to them! TYPES: THE ICEBERG – difficult to warm up. differences and specific features of all your peers. often approached for advice. clothes. The quiet and peaceful types can sometimes be much more interesting than they might appear at first sight. hairstyle. Given his profound knowledge of the female anatomy and psyche. Favourite saying: Freeze and Rule! Favourite excuse: headache. characteristics. Your task is to read the texts and study the pictures carefully and try to match the descriptions with the pictures. A species which differs from others in everything – behaviour. of course). RULE: The more he diverges from real life. 99 . parties. The descriptions and pictures of all manner of possible (and impossible) potential loved ones are scrambled below. including sex (only theory. yawns and studies the chandelier.

When he breaks up with his girl. Generally well-liked or even admired by her circle.BABY: Loves playing with those younger than he is. BLONDE – Good to look at. Always dolled up to perfection. even when throwing out the garbage. NORMAL NORMA: determines her sexual conduct according to her desires. Has heard of sex. Usually picks sport over his girl. o If you tist at the ar D!!o!rm E T N please inf WA er nce! see h 100 . but only when the coach gives the go-ahead. especially those about blondes. who waits for him for hours and days. Mother picks his clothes and father takes him to his barber. Quite fond of sex. Known for the huge bouquets he brings. and respected and loved by her partner. but doesn’t really know what it is. doesn’t smoke. Loves attending family dinners. Marries when a girl proposes to him. and divorces when his wife leaves him. Doesn’t shave. Slow to catch on to jokes. ALWAYS CORRECT: Always arrives at dates on time or earlier. difficult to get into bed. Always articulate and unambiguous. the person who suffers the most is her mother. Most frequent communication with her: “Sit down and shut up” or “lie down and shut up”. except when there are live sports on late TV. Takes his girl out to posh places. not as good to listen to. Doesn’t drink. Always noticed and always the subject of gossip. More often found on the pages of classical novels than in real life. and even more difficult to get into wedlock. Always escorts her to her door on the way back from the date. capacity and values. all pretty and fixed up. THE ATHLETE: Always at the gym or the match or in front of a TV screen. Prefers being admired than loved. Goes to bed early. Responds to the nickname Barbie. Without her consent. although he already has a fair moustache.

her boyfriend scolds her – his best friend comforts her. her boyfriend loves her – his best friend adores her. he’s seeing another girl?” or “How can I approach her?” … In more difficult cases (“we’ve broken up”) . but won’t say No to a cup of tea. but is often seen at literary soirees and various lectures. The girl is happy. THE PHILOSOPHER – loves school books. ADVICE: Don’t wait! th If y the au ! t e l CE please AT ON !! ! D E NT im. go on walks and the cinema and holidays together. conduct impeccable. Has quite commendable knowledge of sex. Can be kinky.BEST FRIEND’S GIRL – functions in the following manner: her boyfriend kisses her – his best friend understands her. but only in close co-operation with his sexual partner. Meticulous about hygiene. NORMAL NICK: Never lies or cheats in sex. Not very interested in the girls in his class – prefers female teachers and his mother’s lady friends. When she grows up. such as: “What should I do. Always respects her wishes and needs. They always study. health matters and birth control. her boyfriend profits from it and his best friend’s in an eternal dilemma: stay honest and be unhappy. spot h know WA d l u o ou sh oress 101 . consults her team of professional neighbourhood experts. Snapped up as soon as he appears on the market. but only from biology classes. Makes up for her scant personal experience with vast literary knowledge. or be dishonest and be happy (at least once)? DEAR MARJORIE – Offers professional advice for all questions of vital importance. Has top marks. Looks at parties as a waste of time. she becomes Aunt Marjorie. Doesn’t charge for her services.

Clothes On and Clothes Off – a simple name for an even simpler task. Paste this page (or a photo-copy) on to cardboard and cut out carefully along their edges the drawings of the man and woman and all their apparel. dim the lights and take their clothes off and put them back on again to you heart’s content! By doing this you will get used to the basic actions in sex. Put on some soft music.2. 102 .

stifled. tormented… but don’t do it others. It can give you great joy and pleasure. Now that we have reached the end. VIRGIN – a girl or woman who hasn’t given herself to anyone yet. Marjorie and I have decided to tell you just one word – “rose” – because a rose is very similar to sex. We’re rooting for you with all our might! Don’t let yourself be lied to. either. let alone charged money of it IMPOTENCE – the lack of sexual potency in a man BISEXUAL – a person sexually drawn to persons of both sexes EJACULATION – release of sperm from the male genitals. Have fun as be as natural as possible. ERECTION – a rush of blood both to the head and to the penis FRIGIDITY – a lack of sexual feeling in males PROSTITUTE and GIGOLO – persons who charge money for providing sexual services VIRGO INTACTS. and an “F” if you think it’s false. if you’re careful. As always. let alone charged money of it IMPOTENCE – a man’s sexual potency BISEXUAL – a person drawn exclusively to women EJACULATION – release of sperm from the female genitals. it’s your own choice.3. so satisfying he feels like doing it again HETEROSEXUAL – a person sexually attracted to persons of the opposite sex SCROTUM – a pouch of skin that contains the testes MENARCHE – the first menstruation experienced by a woman. so satisfying she feels like doing it again HETEROSEXUAL – a person sexually attracted to persons of the opposite sex SCROTUM – a plastic pouch that containes the testes MENARCHE – the first menstruation experienced by a man SOLUTIONS: ERECTION – a rush of blood both to the head and to the penis FRIGIDITY – a lack of sexual feeling in females PROSTITUTE and GIGOLO – persons who money charge for providing sexual services VIRGO INTACTS. if you’re not. Put a “T” in the little square if you think the statement is true. True of False – a good opportunity to test your knowledge in sexual matters. Good luck! 103 . and pain and discomfort. VIRGIN – a girl or woman who hasn’t given herself to anyone yet.