Miss.

Billington Comparative writing assessment: TE 802 Part 1 Writing Instruction, Assessment and Context Rationale: Both of the writing assignments I gave to three students that I assess in
this project are part of the Ferndale English departments data-teaming project. This project was given to the department by the district; they deliver a common core standard and the department works on this standard (unpacking and teaching it) until they have majority understanding in their classes. This means that all grades have the same standard and teach to the same rubric. This also means a lot of data meetings and re-teaching of concepts until students begin to turn the corner.

Standard: For 6th-8th Grade ELA

3. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, relevant descriptive details, and well-structured event sequences. 1. Engage and orient the reader by establishing a context and introducing a narrator and/or characters; organize an event sequence that unfolds naturally and logically. 2. Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, and description, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters. 3. Use a variety of transition words, phrases, and clauses to convey sequence and signal shifts from one time frame or setting to another.

4. Use precise words and phrases, relevant descriptive details, and sensory language to convey experiences and events.
5. Provide a conclusion that follows from the narrated experiences or events.

Objectives: Students will be able to write a short emblematic memory and

identify in their own words 4-5 sensory verbs or adjectives and 3-4 telling details that add purpose and tone to their written memory.

Assessment 1: (From Persepolis) Directions:

Imagine that you are a character from The Letter in Persepolis. You may chose from Marji, her mother, her father, Mrs. Nasrine, or their neighbor. Write a journal entry

from the point-of-view of this character. Choose a specific moment from The Letter and use sensory details to describe this moment from the perspective of the character. Of the five senses, you must have vivid examples and telling details about four of them. Remember to use vivid verbs and adjectives from yours list to make the reader feel as though they are experiencing this event through the eyes of your character. You must choose at least three verbs and three adjectives from the lists provided in class. Underline them when you use them.

How does this assessment fit in the context of the lesson, unit, and year?
Mini-Task:
What is sensory language? Sensory language is the use of details to describe something using your five senses. Sensory language allows the reader to get a deeper understanding of what is being described. Sensory details allow the reader to feel, taste, smell, hear, and see what the author is describing, along with the emotions the author wants to express through the description. How do I use sensory details? Dynamic adjectives and vivid verbs are used to create sensory language. You will receive word lists from your teacher that offer a plethora of new descriptive words that will help you write using sensory details. The most important part of using sensory language is making sure that you are allowing your reader to fully experience the memory or scene that you are describing through all five of their senses.

Using Descriptive Language: Language is power! Precise Nouns

General | Specific | More Specific

monster | vampire | Count Dracula

animal | amphibian | bullfrog

rain | storm | hurricane

Vivid adjectives/adverbs

Funny -- Amusing Hilarious Heavy Weighty Ponderous Well AdequatelyExpertly

Active Verbs

Dashes or Darts instead of Runs quickly Sauntered or Lumbered instead of Walked slowly
Sensory words

Sight: maroon, flashy, radiant Sound: clamor, gurgle, giggle Taste: tangy, ripe, peppery Smell: aromatic, dank, pungent Touch: crisp, gritty, damp
Assessment 2: (Re-Write of a paragraph from their memoir I selected) Directions: Before re-writing the paragraph I highlighted in your typed memoir you must complete the provided peer review sheet. Peer Review Chart Directions: Find a partner and listen as he/she reads a sensory text aloud to you. Listen very carefully and record and sensory language,

vivid verbs, telling details, and strong adjectives. Take time to list specific examples from the writing. You may ask the reader to pause momentarily in order to keep accurate records. Once you have completed the chart offer constructive criticism to your partner by giving specific feedback and instructions. Partners Name_________________________________ Examples from the text Use of their 5 senses (Touch, smell, taste, hearing, and sight) Vivid Verbs Strong Adjectives Telling Details Comments

(I have not included these because I graded them and returned them to the students)

Reflection on Lesson Plan What were the goals for student learning in this lesson and assessment?

What does the student need to Know -Vocabulary -Sensory language -How to convey setting Understand Explain: Word choice Interpret: an experience and convey it through precise words Apply, by: including vivid verbs and adjectives See from the points of view of: characters Empathize: characters experience Reflect on: word choice Do -Uses fresh + lively phrases that include sensory language -Word choice based on precision + vividness -Uses 4-5 verbs or adjectives to create detail -Student can identify in their own writing telling details and sensory language Make connections to student needs/strengths Student 1 = Lynn
Strengths- Pays attention, listening to directions, asking questions for clarification Weaknesses- Vocabulary, sensory verbs Needs- Improve reading comprehension

Student 2 = Sara
Strengths- Creativity, asking questions for clarification Weaknesses- Often not in class, struggles with directions, does not use class

time well Needs- Improve writing skills-basic sentence structure.

Student 3 = David
Strengths- Natural reader and writer, self motivated, asks questions to clarify Weaknesses- Struggles to pay attention, often does not read directions, sensory verbs, vocabulary Needs- Improve vocabulary

Design: How did you design this assessment, in light of these goals? I picked the type of assessment (Extended Written Response: where students choose from a set of alternatives and justify the choice.) because it fit easiest into the goals of the rubric that I created with the data team. Skill/Concept 3-Proficient Sensory Details -Well developed use of sensory language -Examples are evident and dynamic (4-5) 2-Approaching Proficiency -Underdeveloped use of sensory details -Examples are less dynamic and evident (2-3) 1-Not Proficient -Minimally or undeveloped use of sensory details limited in scope and sophistication -Provides few or no examples (0-1)

Precise Language and Telling Details

-Well developed -Underdeveloped use of vivid verbs use of vivid verbs and adjectives (4-5) and adjectives (2-3)

-Minimally or undeveloped use of vivid verbs and adjectives (0-1)

What does the assessment let you see?

Assessment 1 shows me the students grasp of the concept of sensory verbs and adjectives (they are required to underline them) and it shows me the students ability to put themselves into the characters pointof-view. Assessment 2 shows me the students ability to take in corrections and make changes. It also allows me to see the students ability to expand on an idea and re-write since they will be dealing with one particular section. I am also excited to see the students use more extensive sensory language and hopefully I will see growth in their understanding and vocabulary.

What cant you see based on this assessment?

I cannot see the difference between poor directions and listening skills. I can also not see the difference between low reading comprehension and low writing levels. It is also a battle to sort out where their lack of vocabulary becomes an issue and where laziness or misunderstandings pick up.

Part 2 Student Responses and Student Learning

Assessment 1 Student interpretations and patterns across the students responses

How do these students interpret the assignment? What strengths and weaknesses appear in each? Student 1- (Codename= Lynn)
This student decided that they would list their five senses as declarative statements. However, they made statements as if they were Marjis parents, which did accomplish one goal of the assignment--putting yourself in the characters shoes. This student also managed to underline three words however, they were meant to underline three verbs and then three adjectives. They only underlined three adjectives. Interestingly this student struck on the idea of using all five senses and less on the journal entry and point-of-view of the story.

Student 2- (Codename= Sara)

This student starts with using I in reference to him or herself in the paragraph. Then suddenly the student begins to start using I to mean the main character voice. This student also did not underline any words and only uses one sense correctly (touch) however; they use it in a sentence that doesnt make sense.

Student 3 (Codename = David)

This student accomplished the goal of a journal entry and managed to take one moment from the text and unwrap the characters feelings. They only

underline two words, which are both verbs, yet their vocabulary is more advanced than the other two students. This student uses taste in a declarative statement while managing their other senses with more art. They talk about what they overheard and the teardrops that dripped down their face.

Are these interpretations in line with what you expected or hoped to see?
No, I found their interpretations to be misguided. The students missed key sections of the directions, which led to a less than satisfactory final product. They often forgot to underline their verb or adjective usage. They often disregarded the word list. I had expected the students to be able to follow the basic directions and to at least use 3 sensory verbs or adjectives perhaps not 3 of each however, many times students used none at all. I cannot tell if this because they do not know these words or because they did not read the directions.

How do the three samples compare to each other? Are there patterns that emerge?
These samples show the strengths of the better students to full advantage while making the students that struggle with writing (and reading) seems all that further behind. While comparing these paragraphs I did come to appreciate my students uniqueness and creativity however, I also noticed even more than before how all of them seem unable to read directions. Not only were they told to underline verbs and adjectives in the directions but I also said it in class. I also sadly noted the common thread of inability to utilize classroom tools (like

the word lists). I have been thinking on this one for a long time and realized that it has less to do with listening skills or organization and more to do with vocabulary building. My students are simply below the required (desired) 11th grade reading and vocabulary level and they cant be expected to just jump there with an I-phone dictionary app. I struggle with this because the English department here talks constantly about the problem but does nothing to solve it. I believe that students gain vocabulary through reading and exposure. I dont think word lists hurt, they never helped me, but every student learns differently. The point is currently we are doing nothing but grammar plans. I dont see the any of the three students scores improving vastly, or to where they should be at their level, without an extensive vocabulary overhaul.

Individual student performance/responses

How does each students response fit with what you already know about him/her?
Student 3= I know this student to be very quiet, unobtrusive in class, and always getting the work done without being asked. Their parents told me that they fear the idea of discipline and have always been very easy to raise and naturally good naturedI find this to be true as well. From the grammar plan this student is showing great understanding, getting 80-100% on all of their quizzes and tests. They improved from their pre to post by 3 points and only missed one question on the final exam for the grammar unit.

Their writing is generally ahead of the curve because they are selfmotivated and take direction well. As I learned from this assignment and others like the graphic memoir project this student is also very creative and artsy in attention to playing multiple sports all of which I believe make them more focused. Student 2= I know this student to be absent for good chunks of class in reference to an illness that prevent this student from being in this or other classes. This student is struggling to meet the school requirements for graduation not only in this class but in others and it is not from lack of intelligence. This student will often spend class time staring out the window or asking for a bathroom pass to go wander the hallways. When approached about the lack of commitment to their work this student will reply that they are in pain. This student takes home their make up and returns the easier work completed but never bothers to complete the bigger project and so has failed all progress reports thus far. They got nearly half percent on all the quizzes for the grammar plan however they only got 4 questions wrong on the final test. I was not surprised by this students comprehension of the book and then sudden confusion because it is clear to me that this student is not in

class enough to understand the concept or to have gotten the benefit of the previous years of instruction. Student 1= This student is very strong though they wrote a story about failing English last year due to boredom. They hang in at 70 to 90% on the quizzes and improved 3 points on the grammar final. What I know about this student is they are a talker, not in classroom discussion, but avidly to other students. I struggle to find out anything else about this student that is truly important to them as an individual or as a student. They are closed off and their parents are unresponsive. All I really know about this student is that they are self-motivated and happily in the middle. They never hear directions and never ask for help.

What new information have you gathered about this student based on this piece of writing?
Student 1=
I now believe that this student is not completely reading the directions, skimming, and attempting the assignment without full understanding. The way they make their sentences into declarative sentences, making sure to use all 5 senses but not to explain them makes me think that they read the part of the directions about using their 5 senses and then stopped reading. I also believe this student is more creative than they let on. When they

were struggling with their graphic memoir assignment and their re-write of the memoir they pretended they did not remember what they had daydreamed about in class however, their sentences (though incorrect) were unique. I think that they did this because of the social way they spend their time in class. They are so chatty in class, popular, that their peers opinion is clearly very important to them. Student 2= I have come to many conclusions about this students understanding and comprehension levels based on these assignments. Their inability to follow their own thoughts in a complete sentence leads to ideas that their readers cannot follow. They are unable to apply any of the grammar concepts into their writing though they showed a natural inclination towards it. I struggle with both of their writing samples whether or not they are just lazy-especially since they always seem to fall off towards the end or they dont understand. Perhaps they are easily distracted. I know, or can see easily, in their first assignment that they did not understand what they read in the graphic novel. This makes me lean towards difficultly with reading comprehension and writing level.

Student 3= I have learned that this student is not advancing himself or herself as much as I previously thought they were. They are not reading enough to build their vocabulary outside of school and they are struggling to advance when it comes to purpose for verbs. I did learn through the second writing task that the topic is very

important to this student and that their writing improved in detail and length when they were able to write about sports. They were able to pick their topics both times but this student had a better understanding of the task the second time around. It makes me think that students might need to draft a short paragraph and receive feedback before I can expect real results.

Evidence of learning over time What evidence, if any, do you see of learning for each student for this goal?
Firstly, the students have already shown growth through re-writing a paragraph of their memoir. This is the assessment that I picked as their prior assessment as it came before and after. I love this unit because I really get a feeling of the students understanding and learning style. I know that student 1 for instance has not picked up on the concept of telling details or vivid verbs (or they got bored with this unit and are being passive aggressive). Their sentences continue to lack concrete descriptions and advanced verbs. I have pressed this student to explain their lack of details and explained to them in person and written comments how the lack of details leaves the reader hanging however, these changes are not made. Student 2 has completely different struggles. I have realized by reading multiple works that this student is very low reading and writing comprehension. The idea of vocabulary and telling details is not my biggest concern when

sentence coherence, word order, and basic vocabulary are an issue. The third student has made it clear that they have natural talent, not as clear that they are making improvements. There have been improvements with their use of telling details but they chose to write a totally new story. Perhaps they had a creative block, but there new story still does not answer the issues with vivid adjectives and verbs. This students biggest problem is the purpose behind word choice. They havent fully grasped the concept of sensory languagehow a word can express the purpose of the action. Though they had great improvements in the telling details and added stunningly to the tone of their writing.

Part 3 Your teaching

Your response to your students How did you respond to each students product?
I responded to most students by writing the number and circling it at the top. I did not tell them what the number meant, nor did I give them the rubric, but I did underline all of sensory words and telling details that I noticed. Sometimes I responded differently to a student if I felt they were really struggling with the assignment, student 2, because I could not underline enough examples. I wrote a small paragraph at the bottom of the page instead. I also give students responses based on their telling details and the amount of detail or ways they might improve their comments.

Why did you choose to respond in these ways (what was your intent)?
I responded the way I responded because I believed that if I showed students the rubric saying that I was looking for 3-4 sensory verbs than they will only aim for 3. I do

not want the students to feel like they are filling in a blank but rather describe for the sake of improving their writing and making their point clearer. I also chose to underline and check the words/telling details that I agreed with because I wanted to encourage them when they were doing a good job and let them know that I am paying careful attention to their work. I gave them suggestions for improvement and changes because writing and rewriting is a very advanced concept. Many students walk away from a paragraph and feel done forever. Even worse they are incapable of seeing their own mistakes or imagining a new way to say the same thing. Since this is such a new concept for them I like to ask them questions for help.

How effective do you think these decisions were? How might you adapt your methods for responding to/evaluating student work in light of your analysis?
They caught on to the grading somewhat, in the way that they knew 3 was good and 1 was bad. They also enjoyed getting check marks. The students began to egg one another on and encourage each other to get more underlined in their paragraphs. I would see students passing around papers and talking about words and wondering why I had underlined one word as sensory and not another. I loved the way they were discussing language and asking each other first. I think that they dont bother to read what I write on their work however, since they always ask me the same question or make the same mistake in the next writing assignment. I was thinking of changing this by changing my rules. I had a teacher in high school who refused to help students with their re-write

unless they could tell her what she had written on their draft and I think I might start doing this. This might also start shaking them of their issue with reading directions.

Revising your practice

How might you revise your goals, the assessment, and/or your instruction for future use?
I love this assessment for what it is trying to accomplish I only wish that it had a higher writing standard. I want students to be clearer and to add more detail. I would love the students to be using sensory verbs and adjectives. I also think this would help them with comprehension of tone words when they are reading. I do not think that this should be there only goal. They need to focus on evidence, claims and support. So if I were to change this assessment I would link it to what they are working on now and work on students ability to be descriptive and use sensory language when discussing a quote (evidence) that supports their main idea (claim). I was told it would be harder to teach this way. That if it got too advanced it would confuse the students and they would quit, but I think the opposite happened. They quit because they thought these lessons were random and had no purpose.

What does the student need to Know

1. Vocabulary (I would change this into a year round goal and take it OUT of the know category. This is not something our students should or do know coming in) 2. Sensory language (Students need more examples of what we expect them to be able to produce and what it consists of. More time to convert everyday words to sensory/descriptive)

Understand
Explain: Word choice

Interpret: an experience and convey it through precise words Apply, by: including vivid verbs and adjectives See from the points of view of: characters/readers/speakers/author Empathize: characters/readers Reflect on: word choice

Do
-Uses fresh + lively phrases that include sensory language -Word choice based on precision + vividness + purpose -Uses 4-5 verbs or adjectives to create detail -Student can identify in their own writing telling details and sensory language Goal: For students to be able to write a short emblematic memory and identify in their own words 4-5 sensory verbs or adjectives and 3-4 telling details that add purpose and tone to the memory.

Or, how might you use this learning to craft future goals and assessments?
I hate when things that teachers spend forever drilling into students heads just disappear and dont reappear until the next card marking or year. I want the kids to take ownership of their learning and if they fell behind or didnt put the effort in I want them to come ask for help. The only way I will have a class like that is if I have a class that builds on itself and refers to itself. The students have to feel like assignments are important. The way they write matters; grammar and word choice will come back to bite them if they dont focus now. I want them to be able to enjoy expressing their ideas and that comes with constant writing practice and reading. If I changed my daily wrap-up activity to include some sentence writing and include some tasks like, today write a sensory description of your favorite cookie students will feel connected and it wouldnt change their lives too much.

Next steps for these students

What is/are your next step/s with each of these three students?
Student 1 Needs more support with writing details (adjectives) and vocabularyreally I think this student would benefit from doing a short write every day and just getting comfortable with writing and expressing their thoughts.

Student 2 Needs more support with reading comprehension and sentence structure. I think this student needs to read more. I cannot see their vocabulary or writing improving without more reading; however I think they are reading beyond their level and not understanding the books at the moment.

Student 3 Needs more support with vocabulary and could use some time reading work that is more advanced. They need to, as a more natural writer, spend more time with more advanced texts. I would love to see this student reading something meant for 11th grade or above.

For all of my students I am planning on handing out an apple shaped bookmark with comments (all positive) about what they are doing well and things they should try

like a book suggestionover break. I dont know if this will work but I am hoping it will have some impact on my students.

I did reading conferences with my 2nd , 3rd, and 6th hour students and I had them type up reviews on to a goodreads.com account so I know a lot about their interests and I am excited to give them feedback and let them know that I was paying attention to them.

For these three students I can take time and respond to their needs and interests especially since two of three did not pick their books for the independent reading unit they simply ran out of time and read something from the class book bucket. I really hope I can respond to their concerns and their likes about their independent reading project and help point them towards literature that they will love.