Unit 8 The Descriptive Paragraph

T h e Descriptive Paragraph

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Factual description

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My apartment is located in one of the new high-rise buildings one city block from Lake Michigan in Southside Chicago. It consists of a living room, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. The living room is fifteen feet in length and eighteen feet in width. The outside wall holds four floors -to

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ceiling windows. The bedroom is only slightly smaller in dimension. The kitchen has both stove and refrigerator. The bathroom has a tile shower. The living room and hall areas have wall-to-wall carpeting.

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Or Maria fascinated Bill.LHGOUH~O~~~CU~J LI ~ R ~ U S ~ ~ I L ~ ~ ~ J ~ ~ I U ~ I I O J " . t ~ I ~ & ~ ~ I J ~ Q ~ L A ~ ~ I $ L ~ ~ ~ ~ X ~ ~ ~ adk~?!uudo U ~ ~ U I U L ~ ~ I ~ ~ ~Jd@Wl~~Jl ~f ~ iu ~ ~ ~ H Q % J ~ ~ E~ I? J ~ R~ E~ ~ J ~ ~ \ ~~ ~L I ~J ~ U U W ~ ~ R I ~ J J ~ ^ ~ I ~ ~ <ufi~&~~fiadfi~&u'~uu~~~ riui1~ilun11~isudw1$iiuKuW"c~~2i~~ ~~n'~~d~~~uu?~ n ~ w d9 ~o od l ~ % ~ ~ o ~ ~ ~ ~ r c i l ~ u ~ o ~ i l u ~ d l ~ i ~ d'u a nl~~~uu~u~nvWruw. too.h u~n~u dinis~d.L11~u6oJ~~n~. the lower branches spread out horizontally over the ground. keeping a sharp eye out for cats. From these. ~ C ~ R I LLR~G~?IULPJLH~OL? $ I~ WU U ~ O JIW I I U I U H I A I ~ ~ R ~ I7J ~ 1 ~uIM~I~~~u~~~%$ . reaching into the neighbors' yards. the small walkway along the back of the house. ~9wd1duon$nnaorru~~~aria i~~ilumud$nwnrr~d Bill wn t ~ \ n k ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ i j o ~ f i u .s ~ w " &&odlc I~G$J H % ~ ~ O L J $ U ~ R R I R @lfiil Our backyard is dominated by a huge old live oak tree. The thick muscular trunk rises solidly for about eight feet and then separates into four main branches.II ~IR Iu n-du K nan'. up-to-up. the neighborhood cardinals and blue jays sing to each other. where they compete with each other for air and sunlight.rr~n verbs n of feeling f i n ? ~ ~ 1 u l l h ~ ~ ~ n ? l u ~ n \ 6~~ d ~$ uu n " u Maria is veiy fascinating. From these heights. From these heights.s. and the back fence that runs along ' the alley. As the birds sway in the wind. The main branches continue to rise. they look as if they are riding a ship across a gently swelling ocean. it is easy to see the variety of shrubs and sweet-smelling flowers lining the two long sides of our rectangular yard. The base of the trunk measures approximately ten feet around. adverb uRr adjective clauses u l d ~ u ~ r r i u ~ u ~ ~ u ~ i s u ~ a ~ ~ i ~ i ~ u u ~ ~ ~u Ao unn n~ n~ d~ \n ij % n$ m~ ~?o du .a'61 adjective.

a ' m ~ o u u i n n i i b n ~ o : ~ i ' ~ K ~ d i u ~ Marie ~ u n i~ w~ ~~ a~ m u i n ~ u ~ r a z a iMarie ouon~i ~~unuddnfiai~auuinu'ou~fi~~~lm niodi~doldd~0u~iu~~uundl6d3'ud~~lnddo::d~ulri~diuuo~~A~nu'i~o~ Marie lG. is a small mole. by her nostril.3a a ~~uu~~dinrriuf% ~ & d u o n 4 i l l ~ n ~ ~ n ~ ~ a : : u 3 u d d 7 n n i i d ~ ~ n %udfldd x1y? & n u a : ~ t s m i i ~ u ~ ~ i n n u~ i -~ uo i~ u~nwmz~ni~ ~u ~ii.a'mrouriiu~'l~ ~uniw~~~ Marie has long black hair that falls down to her shoulders and surrounds her diamond-shaped fade.j~~ana~ouiiu'n~nuiuo Marie ~ ~ l6. She has dark brown eyebrows over her blue eyes. which are rather large.a'mniirOu IKu'ndnmd i u ~ 7 u ~ i u u i o l d ~ ~ ~ dr i~n '3 ~~u 1~ ou i~6 w iu diu . Do you get a good picture of Marie in your mind's eye? ~iaouil65'ufiAo ~iu~iuuhu coherent u " d'd LWTl: fiu~digul65 )1d'hu LW31:: ~~uni3~!Uuoln~3~::~d~~n (oinuu$ii~) "3dln usilmurnwnuugqwao:nmul$iii Marie ijo:l~uulunJir o J L E B ~ ~ ~d ~ 3 ~ ! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ l u ' ~ ~ ~ ~ i ~ 0 ~ 3 udodi~n?iu~ hn$l m (controlling idea) uonl5~a uiiorr! uu~dlu~~u+a'I~ iioiiidiun~ n ' i i u ~ r i i d d i ~ i i u u ~ u ~ u ' i ~~uijo:l3uw=dsSn~m:lm~vii$u a~~arie ~dun~luiiu~ui~ ii~ii % I ~~drinum~C(~~6~~~o::~duuu~m~^un ~~OHURS idiuldGni~nnuI6~au J *. She has a small mouth with lips that are usually covered with light pink lipstick.Descrlptlon of a Person n73duuunu7urinum:vo~.d ~~~(NUII~ROU~ Zfla ni~~iuuu~~mu 'ruu nl.u Ju I~ ~ ~ m w ~ n t i i iUR i: l i o o n rl clu n~aeddlsiii~n~~nu~13un"3old13u ud61~~iuuo:~~unua::~"oumuo~~~u~~~ql~ .rudtniu h a w r i i n i ~ n i x i u nud~~mdud W Y cii~ulouo~~nna$u d %a h ~ d a ~ ~ o : ~ d w i u ~ ~ u u w 3 3 Marie muin deuinlnun~nuilijfi'n~~a:~ "~ o~ m m ~ m i i i ~ n ~ ~ n u ~ ~ u ' i a i ~ i uaauoun~nmd~uouu4~~Kaoudiniun'iu lua1ji~~3 ~o. Is this paragraph coherent? d Y d 2. Her teeth are straight and white. which is usually suntanned. Questions: 1. Her nose is straight.nna ~ f f u .~ n ' u ~rinam:n$im dh~ r d dd. and on the left side of the bottom of her nose.

J u o ~ ~ i ~n~id ~o~~rI~u~ ~u . . but not too large. l o:di~n'u6~ni~~~uu~(iid. Her slightly arched chestnut brown eyebrows draw attention to her deep blue eyes. A small black mole on the left side of her mouth adds to her beauty. Outline the above paragraph on a separate sheet pf paper. ( Write the main idea. white teeth brighten up her whole face. with thick eyelashes. And her mouth! It is a small mouth that looks delicate and feminine. There is nothing but extraordinary beauty in the face of Marie. What is a controlling idea or the author's comment? 2.v a l $ ~ ~ ~ n a i 5 n i s l U iqny ~ ' 1nuuiR 5 anai~~od~o'I$fldi~aa~ni~~$i~mnii~~u~1^r~ ntalLj Marie is as beautiful as any Hollywood star.a' vuoi~ space order ~ i l u R tiinum j 1savua~~uRj~ussui~~innjiii~1:cf1~ua::~~Tiou~~nrn~~ ~dofl~f~uu u o ~ l ~ u a n i~ d~ ~ o u a r 8 a ~ ~ i ~ a w u ~ $ i ~ i ~ 1 r ~ ~ u duarhuainw~d uu~~1iu~~'I61~ou r Y niaXu~a n~ ~ o i . black hair gracefully falls down to her shoulders and surrounds her exquisite. long. which is often. her light pink lipstick adds another touch of feminine beauty. which reminds me of a lake on a stormy day. but not too thin. Her thick. her well-formed and even. diamond-shaped face. Underline the changes the author has made in this version.u Ju no u~ iui~Imriau-~~'~~u .r~aunisd~ilunis~i~iu ~OJ~IUL?RI Y (time order) n ~ n ? n i s d ~ u q ~ ~ mliruni~~iuurinw~rwssf~ui~1:'I. Her nose is straight and too neither long nor too short. When she smiles. A golden suntan usually highlights her smooth clear complexion. Her eyes are large. wavy. lw c r Answer these questions: 1. supporting sentences and the conclusion) Description of a (special) Place nis~iuuuno~~~du~n'u1niu~ILjd~1~iu~~mnsii~0innis~~~u~~1~o ~siadl~lm n(ii~6osi0~d~:nou$i~u~niu~~~~r~1~iu~m&7 idea) ~ 1 ' ~aardnis (controllin~ 6oahCu~niaun'u . 3. u ~ i n i ~ ~ . Her lips are rather thin.

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Stuffed under the desk is a woven wastepaper basket overflowing with paper and debris. Behind you on your right and somewhat behind the door is a dresser with a mirror over it Yu r oin~iut~~uurruiulio~w'n+i~~iuuun~nwin~~liiiwou~~no~~iniu~nixrl?r nousiul641 'YES" ~wntnirnnuiu~5uldwiu~unouua::ijrisa::~~u~11o~~~~~ii~ 7uin w odrhlli{diuun~ni wn i u I u ~ o ~ ~ ~ . and knick-knacks. is under the windows. and thus even smaller than it is.n:niviouriln'diu i41 riiua::ldn. is small and crowded. Against the wall on your left. on the second floor of Chotiga House. The one that is over the desk is of my favorite singer. The wall above . On your left against the wall. which fills half the room. pushed into a comer behind the head of the bed. is a closet with sliding doors.nu~auiiinaou)rliolri 2 Yd mulin~w'nud~%no~un'~~~~~u~ iu ~~ o )~ r liilo u~ ~d d iu i ~~iu~8uuauuo~ii~'i):: d i t l l ~ J ~ w d ~ ) r l % u " u ~ ~ ~ u L d u ~ ~ i u ~ ~ ~ o ~ ~ L ~ u u ~ ~ ~ d110uIoCiad ii~cI~iu~ndr::n'u~ R ? I U L ~ U ~ U ~ O ~ IJ J~ ~ ~ L ~ L I U ~ ~ [ ~ ~ ~ I J ~ J ' ~ ~ ~ J I ) ~ ~ ~ ~ L ~ U ~ R ~ J Y Y ~~2j?o::iidiuuin&)rl"~a~d unhunwnw d i u u ~ i ~ f i u ~ ~ ~ t l u ~ i ~ ~ Q u ~ ~ ~ u u ~ r r 1 ~o~~i~~iu~LBu~aIariidi~uinniin'u My dormitory room. you are stopped short by my bed. To your right.bedspread. As you walk into the mom. The dark green walls and dirty white ceiling make the . there is a large bookcase filled with books. Close to the door. room seem dark. built into the wall opposite the bookcase and desk. Wedged in between the bookcase and the wall opposite the bed is a small gray metal desk. a q 'd au ~h o ~u iu ~ ~ # u u + i ~ 6nwm::nm u u u ~ nJ " Yd a d d " Ad 8 Iuglu unity ua:: coherence ~ ~ d I j i n i ~ ~ i ~ i u ~ controlling # u u ~ u idea u u viiald Cnanwi R ~ ~ ~ f i l ~ o u l ~?din n ' ~ f~w. with a small woven wastepaper basket underneath the desk. is a large bookcase that is crammed with papers. The two large windows over the bed are hidden by heavy dark gold drapes. There are several posters on this wall. The one that is over the bookcase shows an interesting scene from our province. a desk and a chair sit next to the bookcase. books. It has a brown wooden chair that seems to fill the left end of the room.

Exercise2 Rewrite the preceding paragraph. Feel free to add or delete details as necessary. tennis racquets.the bookcase and the desk is completely taken up with two small posters. "Now I know what it is like to live in the closet. using "comfortable" as the controlling idea in the topic sentence. hats.~ Topic sentence ww ilrd2slGni~~iswn ~ R r ~ ~ t l m J21oJdl ? I ~ J fJ qlr(~oJl6~mLiluuln~u L: 2 . Every time I walk out of the door. l w n i ~ ~ i m w u d e w u n ~ i ~ m i~dl~ I~~ctn-aiuAmhniy (controlling idea) driiu o u i n o e u o n ~ i i u I f i n ~~ i ui o ~ o n ' A ~ J d ~ l ~ v i r i l ~ o ~~du~ilud in~~~~~~ani~i in2iurhnjl diiilm41 ~ i a ~ i l ~ J d ~ d i l ~ r i i u ~ n 1 ] a~ u oi m s ln ~ in 'u ~iuipf(lff[d N d LLviJii4 . Guidelines on Descriptive Writing I. On the right-hand side of the room is a narrow closet with clothes. ~w. shoes. and boxes bulging out of its sliding doors. Change the description to show that the room is comfortable.nr~~iiuuor~~tnas~r?'to~~iuaiiilr6o~~~s~~viaamn~otn'un2iu~~h<q~ Practice exercises Exercise 1 Reread the preceding paragraph again and underline the changes from the earlier version." ~iu~Bswqm1~ ~din?iu~~ ~i on in iq i m~~~ ~n ~ o ~ ti u i li. I think.a'm u~ii'iloniluaniud ~ilw L ~ ! U ~ { Urinflnwsr~r*'uiini~~Aun~iuGmki<q~a small and crowded RJWMT~I. These changes reinforce the controlling idea and give a clear idea of what you think about your little room.

jva. on your left (right) above the bookcase.ji<nnJidi adverb of place u i l a v h i n .d l adjectives a i i r h c qua: ~dod~ul~~diunnudiu~ri. Under the windows.a'v~i~tr(u'idiuiu~n 2-3 Aisdniini3(ii ~Bs.jurnud~uluni~~is~iiCu u (coherence) i . u- 2 Noun as General adjective Size little antique round white Thai Shape Age Color Origin Adjective material rubber Flower material pretty beautiful .jfiido~ui (lf9 i ~ i l u l d l 6tr(~nnnnl~15s. straight ahead. The desk is adjacent to the bookc&e.rnJi~i~or~iu6ui1?nu~u'~1~~r0iui1.ji~i~~u~~~iul6aLii Under the desk is a basket.iriidiw u~ni $.ji.3. d d ~ i ~ o r ~ ' w ~ i l u d i ~ v i n ~ i u ~ u i ~ d ~ ~ i~~w im i r i~ ue~i u re w~ dR ~d ~~ sm ud~mfiu $iu ni. j d u n ~ i s i j n ~ i 7 ~sd u Behind the chair is a guitar.j ) qrlinud2n~w Predeterminer number pronoun Most of Article the Article #Some ' ' .jswl. L ~ a uars.jtti?m~iw6aii~1eii. etc. ad hu2aoun~nu2wniwdd~~mlel6~~ri on the second floor. On top of the refrigerator is a picture of our family. n i m n w u i ~ ~ s ? ~ udlt.

5. My father worked hard to build the house for three days. but I keep the memories of my old playhouse in my heart. we painted the outside blue and made a little white door with a tiny bell hanging on it for visitors. Discussion questions 1. soft carpet and opened two windows on each side of the walls. my father made for my birthday a small playhouse that is now the most memorable place of my childhood in Korea. comic books. At that time. When I felt sad or lonely. I love to look through the windows to the outside world. Now I cannot have my playhouse anymore because of my age. and a bear doll. Finally.1 Uslng a directly statement of the controlling Idea When I became seven years old. such as sketchbooks. so I ran into it. color pens. we covered its floor with green. so I felt very comfortable and secure when I was inside its shelter. I moved into the playhouse all of my favorite things. Also.2 Suggesting the controlling idea ~uiuij~Iiluuuur~ianiuwn~~oJniTIiluu dd w 52EIE!ls 5. my playhouse was there. and I helped him as an assistant by looking for tools or holding a board while he drove a nail into it. In which sentence in the paragraph does the writer announce the subject ( the special place) to be described? . I really thought that nobody could get in my playhouse. After we finished putting the playhouse together. i t j h u n n u r ~ i o ~ u r i ? ~ ~ F i o u ~ ~ u u n u a t ~ ~C ui@ aoii~.1 Announcing the Controlling idea directly a u i u ~ ~ ~ ~ u u d ~ r l u ~ d i ) n n u ~ i ~ ( n < n ~ ' b r . n i ~ ~ i l u u ~ ~ u u w ~ ~ m u 2 ia ~nuwfta ioiil6 5.~~~u~~u 5.

and resting from work. Even though picking flowers. Little kids like myself always sat under the shade of the tree while playing stones and cards. I lived on farm with my grandmother during the first seven years of my life. stood just a few feet away from the front of the house. The main entrance to her two-story brick house was just one and a half blocks away from the rice fields. A very attractive part of my grandmother's house was the open ceiling in the middle of the living room. and running around rice field may seem silly and awkward to some people.2. 1 . telling stories. I feel that these were some of the best experience I had to help identify myself. We loved to climb the apple tree to see if there were any apples to pick or birds' eggs to take home. climbing trees. the adults and the children usually gathered around the front lounge eating meals. The large apple tree. What details in the paragraph help convey the controlling idea? 63d73 5. famous for its cool shade during the long hot summer. therefore. What is the controlling idea the writer is making about the playhouse? 4. Although the pool was used to save water for washing clothes. Living on the farm allowed me to realize that the most precious and valuable things about living are to enjoy life and appreciate a happy family. which had a built-in pool just beneath it. I liked to jump in it and pour water all over myself.2 Suggesting the controiilng idea As a child growing up in China. In which sentence does the writer explain why this place is special to him? - 3.

Discussion questions 1. In what ways do the specific details help convey the controlling idea? 4. What is the controlling idea (central point) the writer is making about this subject? 3. In which sentence does the writer announce the subject of the paragraph? 2. In which sentences does the writer directly explain why this place is special? .

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