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134090817 Realize Your Full Potential

134090817 Realize Your Full Potential

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Published by: Santosh Athani on May 17, 2013
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  • FEAR
  • Jealousy, Love and Relationships
  • LIFE
  • LOVE
  • LUCK
  • Mind Body Connection
  • Neuro-Linguistic Programming
  • The Overloaded Life
  • PAIN
  • Quantum Manifesting
  • De-Stress Your Life
  • Deep Emotional Wounds

An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. neuro pathways. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. emotions and perceptions. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. feelings. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. when given the proper instructions. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. . As I said before. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it.

............. FORGIVENESS...................37 FEAR ...............26 DIETING ...................................................................................21 DEPRESSION.................................................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...................... DIETING.............................................................................. FOCUS...... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE............................................. .................. E................................................................7 BALANCE.................................................................... F.....3 ANGER ................5 ANXIETY ....43 GOALS ..................................................................................................................... G.................26 DEPRESSION .................................. BEREAVEMENT .....................................18 COMMUNICATION ........................................46 B................... D...................40 FOCUS .....................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ...........3 AFFIRMATIONS........ CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.....................................................32 EMOTIONS............... ANGER.....................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)............................................................................................................. ANXIETY................................................8 CHANGE...................8 BALANCE ......1 ADDICTION .......................... FEAR.............................................................. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .................................................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE .....35 FABULOUS.......... ENERGY ............................................8 BEREAVEMENT ......................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .... EMOTIONS....29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ......................... ADDICTION..................................................................................... AFFIRMATIONS.................................. C..........................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE...................................34 ENERGY ......... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS....................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ................................................................................................37 FABULOUS ......................................................................................46 SMART GOALS .......... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ......

.......................................................................................................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION............... Q................. LOVE.................................................................................................................................................................. N.........................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ................................................................ MIND-BODY CONNECTION.....77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .... PERCEPTION............................................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.............. PROSPERITY ...78 OVERLOADED LIFE .........................65 LIFE.................... MIND SUCCESS .................... HEALING....... K................................70 MALE DEPRESSION.................................84 I............................69 MALE DEPRESSION...........68 LUCK ........... LUCK ..................H........................... M.................................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.......................................................... KISMET ...59 KARMA............................80 PAIN....73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)........ P............80 PERCEPTION ...................................... LIFE...................................49 HEALING ................ INTUITION....................................................................................................................... .................................. L......................................... PHOBIAS...........................................................................................................................................................................................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ........... J........................................................................ HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).................................................59 JEALOUSY......................49 HEART FIRE .................................................................................................82 PROSPERITY .......56 JEALOUSY ..........................................................................67 LOVE.....................................................................72 MIND SUCCESS .........54 INTUITION..... O..............................................51 HYPNOSIS.52 IMAGERY........................77 OVERLOAD.....81 PHOBIAS ..................78 PAIN.......... HYPNOSIS.................................................54 IMAGERY...........................................63 KARMA ...................................63 KISMET ........................................

........................................... i....................................................... YUMMY LIST ............................................103 VICTIMHOOD ................. BINGER ETC ..........................................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE................................ V.....................108 WORDS..............102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.... Z.........94 STRESS .......................................................................................................................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT............................................ STUCK ...........94 SELF-TALK....................... Y.......... WOUNDS ............ RELEASING...................................................................................111 X SMOKER...104 VISUALIZATION ................................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ...............................86 RELEASING ........................................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)...................................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS .................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE......R.. RELATIONSHIPS...........103 VALUE AREAS.....................................96 STUCK .. ii.......................................... W................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ........................................................................................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)........ RITUALS FOR SUCCESS.............116 S............................ DRINKER......................86 RELATIONSHIPS ...... T....................................................................................................106 WEIGHT........................................................114 ZEAL ..........................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE........................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ...114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ..............................................108 WEIGHT .................................................................................................................................................... EXERCISES ...................................................................................... X....... iii .. SELF-TALK.........................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE.............................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS...........122 INDEX ......... U........................................................... WORDS................ VICTIMHOOD................................................................................. VISUALIZATION.113 TWO FUTURES .......

love. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. It is our perception of any event. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. Fear of change. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. think we are making progress or stagnating. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. In order to make changes. fear of failure. incident. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. money and success. however. usually as a result of fear. fear of success. The future. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. ADDICTION. As a result. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. even worse. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. excitement and yes. © Copyright 2003. it is filled with laughter. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. indeed. a life that is rich and full.A ABUNDANCE. we don’t trust it to be real. ANGER. Even when we know we have this tool. AFFIRMATIONS. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. occurrence. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. Because of this. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts.net 1 . satisfying.

At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. helps them suppress the pain. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. and life just gets better and better.e. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population.. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. alcohol.net 2 . The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. so. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. It is important though.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Your first step. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. Allow that desire to flow through you. however. who you can call when you feel you might slip. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. cocaine. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. no matter what program you are going through. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. Unfortunately. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. i. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. the more vibrant and alive you become. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. at least while they are using their drug. at least for a while. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. the more connected you feel. People without strong desires slowly whither away. however. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. A tempo that is magnetic. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. you do have a choice. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from.

but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. When you face this pain that you have been running from. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. though.org www. Many people.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. but you don’t have to. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.practicalrecovery. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. so. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. if it is not done. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping.passagesmalibu. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. then you.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. The sooner we realize and accept that.net 3 . the addict. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will forever remain an addict.habitdoc. I agree with this school of thought.com www.com www. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. A friend of mine once told me. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us.secularsobriety. However. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. www.

• Be specific.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. Always create an image of what you want in your life. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. If necessary. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. Don’t let fear hold you back. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. always focus on what you want to move towards.” the message sent to your mind.” • State your affirmations in the positive. then that means you are on the right track. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. not what you want to avoid. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want.” Or say. your computer. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. © Copyright 2003. that’s like moving uphill. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. the steering wheel of your car. So.” Or “I will lose weight. • Always remember this. When you move towards what you want.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. when what you really mean is. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. When you do this. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have.net 4 .

The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. and heart palpitations. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. alcoholism. going from one trauma to the next. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. can lead to serious food addictions. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. then anger becomes a serious health risk. If you see yourself as a victim.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Holding onto anger. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. you may blame others for your situation or condition. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. cold hands. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. resentment. drug abuse and depression. When this is the case. you may see yourself as an avenger. eating disorders. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. hostility. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. along with mourning. In addition. In situations that cause fear. looking for justice and revenge. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. crying. hurt. Not only is this destructive to you. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. and in small doses can be a good thing. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. But some people seem to be angry all the time.net 5 . So. fatigue. anger is the most common response. shaking. When a relationship ends. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. it can be just as damaging. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Even if we bury anger deep inside.

Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Unfortunately. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. coronary disease. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. suicide. and even increased workplace injuries. Also. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. © Copyright 2003. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. it will never go away. and can help make you more content. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. If you feel powerless. cancer. In the past. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones).net 6 . that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. sarcastic. Remember. bitterness. releasing your anger. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. fear and hurt. Power and anger are frequently related. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. alcohol and drug abuse. and depression. however. but anger that may be directed at you by others. expressing your anger in an indirect way. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. and can lead to serious food addictions. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. and stubborn.

anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. weakness. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues.). © Copyright 2003. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. fear or anxiety. etc. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. fear or anxiety. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational.net 7 . phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. Also. driving a car. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. mood swings. Fears. nausea. shakiness.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. being home alone. anxiety. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. flying.

getting involved with a church. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. Happiness. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. There isn’t another person. I told him the usual stuff. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. let them be a reminder to look inside.B BALANCE. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. right? Yes and no. No matter what you hear. The problem was. a perfect balance. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. then it would make him happy as well. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. place or thing that can make you happy. Just think about that a moment. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. then he’d really truly be happy. you know. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. that happiness must come from within ourselves. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Good advice.net 8 . Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. No one can tell you how to be happy. Sometimes we need reminders. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. Twelve hours of day and night. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. it didn’t work. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox.

our voice. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. stop thinking it to death. desire. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. feeling. fulfillment and life find you. to balance the light and dark within yourself. But even more than that. No matter how hard we may try. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. jane@changingpeople.co. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. if we are angry. That means stop analyzing everything so much. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. even the words we use. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer.net 9 . the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. and in doing so. In this state.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. working for you. Whether it’s an emotion. goal. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. the right kind of suggestions. job or whatever you are seeking. Woods. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. They allow you to clear out the old. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. It will. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. happiness. lover. You are able to access your subconscious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. for example. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes.the intensity and duration may differ. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. just a little. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house.net 10 . and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. That said. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. However. To a degree that can be true. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. you must do what is right for you. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. and generally we prefer not to think about it. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. and so on. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. letting relevant people know. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . It is an immutable part of the human condition. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. © Copyright 2003. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved.

encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further.net 11 . It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. or for feeling angry. Help them tell you their feelings. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. is a refusal to believe the news. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. uncaring. Some enlightened doctors know. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. or those suffering alongside us. we may need to be told several times. a normal response. We may need evidence. once the first shock waves have abated. when they are breaking bad news to patients. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. disconcertingly. For example. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. It is unrealistic but again. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. and just plain wrong. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. © Copyright 2003. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. This is where someone less involved can offer help. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. recognizing it and naming it. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. Often that is enough.Denial A second common response. we may be compelled to visit the scene. “If I do this.

Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. and even our clothing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. was decreed. how to manage our grief. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. For example. even perhaps depressed. when our behaviour. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically.net 12 . You cannot short circuit this process. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. I have lost someone significant in my life’. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. just let it go. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. like fundraising for a particular charity. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief.

You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. Experiment At some point. and this will of course vary from person to person. which can be a comfort. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. be it with a handshake or a hug. You may find. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. But actually.net 13 . Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. such as excessive use of alcohol. in this phase. © Copyright 2003. People want to help but they often don’t know how. Let close friends offer you comfort. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. feeling there is no point. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. So. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. we begin to move on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ask them.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. you never go right back to the beginning. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. however it feels. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. we experiment with new ways of behaving. This does not mean forgetting them. However hard it is. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. not in any sense. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. If you need a hug.

be it lighting candle. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. Make your peace with that and all will be well. or an offer of help with the shopping. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. taking flowers to an appropriate place. as I have said. Again. I hope it has been helpful however. Literally. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. Of course. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. so we need to use our discretion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Knowing this can help you plan for it. whether for you personally.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. be it taking some homemade food round. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. surrounded by people. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly.net 14 . or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. take medical advice. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Helping In Western culture.” © Copyright 2003. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. ritual can be helpful at this time. If you can. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. a card sincerely written. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’.

and some simply telling you how to do it. Sometimes. Just remember this. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Sometimes. Some people embrace change and some resist it. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. depending on the severity of the change. some anecdotal.co. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. jane@changingpeople. Woods. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. even depressed. some research based. we can get very fed up. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change.net 15 . CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Finally.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. depending on the change.C CHANGE. almost no one likes it. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same.

For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. A Story Here is a short story about change. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. Finding they are. You are feeling bright and chirpy. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. However. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else.net 16 . apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It may ring a bell with you. “What?” you say. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. Worse. © Copyright 2003. You are speechless at first.

The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. That is a fact to record on the top line.net 17 . Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. Use two different colours if you like. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. and. So. no one but you is going to see this. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office.. joy of joys. or determined to make more effort.. don’t just focus on the negatives. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. vulnerable. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.But then. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. For example. yes. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For example. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. angry. did it make you sad. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies.

Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. overloaded message units and repressed fears.net 18 . But as the sun rises. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. However. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. our responses to change are individual and personal. They begin almost imperceptibly. Dawns.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. as the dawn progresses. our thoughts. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. Similarly with our responses to change. another to frown and feel aggrieved. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. © Copyright 2003. while another may be much more fatalistic. are funny things. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. Obviously. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. Then. One may approach it in a positive way. and therefore our feelings. no one makes us feel anything. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For example. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. Actually. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. The same principle applies to you. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. Sometimes. however. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. At first. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others.

Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. see the right path. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.anxiety and emotions. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. but will actually consider them an order. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. Be absolutely clear about what you want. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence.net 19 . Ultimately. however. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. detailed imprint of what you desire. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. inept. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. even our physical health and well being. need or want. confused or fearful. relaxation. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. remember “dawn” can and will happen. you are in essence training your mind. When this happens. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. clumsy. If you are starting to feel anxious. © Copyright 2003. confidence. Giving you the feeling of freedom. you do not need to feel this way. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). apprehension and fear. given enough time and repetition. For example. Unfortunately. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. you start to believe it yourself.

confidence and trust. abundance. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. Guide them. mold them and do it over and over again. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. it is a journey. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As Abraham Lincoln once said. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis.net 20 . in addition.achieving prosperity. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. It’s the life in your years. you need to be aware. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect.” So live your life fully. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. you always have a choice. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. want and desire. You will feel stronger. yoga. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. then the real fun can start. so. realizing all the possibilities available to you. all of your life. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. with clarity. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. does and will continue to offer you what you need. If you want a New Beginning. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. Trust that the Universe has. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. Know that no matter what things might look like. It does make a difference. you are actually living the life you want.

COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up.net 21 . trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. © Copyright 2003. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. our answers are all around us. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. look and listen. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. courage. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. yellow balloon. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss.knowing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. engage and listen. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. The problem is that we communicate differently. It is important not to go looking for your sign. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. dolphins . They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. I truly believe that faith. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk.

but E&P affects. however. It is the physical who yells. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. if you ask a physical if they are cold. how they can come apart. cries. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. An example would be. is so much more than simple questions. and how natural and normal this is. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. screams. whatever when upset. among other things. it isn’t. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section.net 22 . it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. Communication.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. people don’t realize just how true this is. © Copyright 2003. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. the way we communicate with each other. enjoys spur of the moment activities. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. they will answer yes or no. possibly even throws things when angry. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. So. First. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. In relationships. These two types. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. opposites really do attract. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication.

Conversely. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Since we tend to project our thoughts. however is just one part of communication. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. the more the physical pushes. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can see how this could be problematic. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. It becomes a vicious circle. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. they can ruin lives. This E&P communication. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Also. © Copyright 2003. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. self-confidence. You had to be strong. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time.net 23 . You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. Remember though.The same thing occurs when communicating. Words have power. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. We heal from physical injuries. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image.

Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. But most of all. this planet needs you. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. The same holds true for what you hear. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. intelligence and compassion. dreams and desires. Your life depends on it After all.net 24 . I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. leave. But you are wrong. keep your thoughts strong. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. This is why “words” do have so much power. wider and stronger each and every day. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. find out what you can do. Also. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. each of us. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. is powerful beyond belief. beautiful heart and so much love to give. As a matter of fact. someone will answer. call out for help. You know because I say it over and over again. © Copyright 2003. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. throughout your life entire life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. your talent. Make some calls. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. The woman who has come out of a nasty. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. bad relationship and can keep on going. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. but not only that. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. Think and dream about your future. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. by working it. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. words can destroy you. Vent when you are alone. Once said they are out there forever.net 25 . wife. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. And that’s really what venting to another person is. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. husband. scream and yell and swear all you want. our child.Each of us. words can hurt you. © Copyright 2003. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. But when you are with someone you care about. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification.

even into very advanced old age. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. DIETING. if we want to. thought patterns and thought habits.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. © Copyright 2003. Researchers like Dr. According to Dr. In addition. and just like any other habit. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. Dr. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. suicidal feelings. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. if this work fulfills its potential. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. depression. conditions and illnesses. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. According to Dr. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression.net 26 . “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. No one is born with such a brain -. As research continues in this area. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. Jill Ammon-Wexler. AND -.D DEPRESSION.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. In fact. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Miller goes on to stress. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.… You have billions upon billions of neurons.it is created. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. but in essence they are just like any other habit. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. however.

fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. Think about that a moment.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. © Copyright 2003. though. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. etc. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. “unhappy”. I just want to be happy. what we say to ourselves.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. fulfilled life. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. “disappointed in my relationships”. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience….use it or lose it. I don’t want to be around negative people. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. healthy muscles. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. What we think. What it does understand. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die.net 27 . And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even more importantly. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. But if you engage in regular mental workouts.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth.

Ph. So.D. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear.. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. 2005. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Pay attention to what you are thinking. including cancer.” observes Dr. When there is negative thinking. Massachusetts. Take responsibility for your thoughts. heart disease. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. Parkinson’s disease.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Woman’s World.net 28 . Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. it will continue to go on. Fixing one problem can often help the other. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. with the aid of hypnosis. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. Bruce Cohen. 100 times more. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Reflect on the positive. is originating on a deeper. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. October 18. reflect on the contrary. epilepsy. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. on a subconscious level. subconscious level. whether it is physical or emotional. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases.

especially in the United States. especially our young women. then we were told maybe it isn’t.net 29 . and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. diet and weight. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. and of course. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. The first diet included six small meals a day. never a comparison with all the other studies. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. Chocolate was bad for you. First we were told that fat. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. we are really only getting part of the story. according to the New York Times. and these are serious issues indeed. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. people. Confusing.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. is bad for you. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. test or theory. particularly among our young people. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). the second diet was only three meals a day. The truth is. sometimes to death. now again we are hearing. any kind of fat. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. When most of us think about diet and weight. Part of one study. © Copyright 2003. we just don’t want to do it. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. And throughout all of it. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. but in addition. it seems as if all the doctors. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. they are fat and unattractive! Hey.

emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. Releasing negative thoughts. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. As we live our lives. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. one of the first things I tell them is. both emotional and physical. Just as with any weight. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. © Copyright 2003. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. In fact. confidence or happiness. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. As they discuss and teach in this workshop.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. With the internet available to all of us. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. by taking control of our thoughts.net 30 . There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. Knowledge is indeed power.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. a lack of fulfillment. satisfaction. and getting the right kind of support and advice. weight issues are rarely just about weight. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. it can include abandonment issues. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine.

you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. though just an illusion. You can continue the work on your own. © Copyright 2003.net 31 . we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. what do you think about. This is. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. what does your world look like. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. I keep going back to this one phrase. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Knowledge. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. observe how you feel. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. that we keep going back to it.e. So wonderful. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. take control of your thoughts and change your life. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. i.com. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. If you don’t like it. what do you see. though is not just about external fact. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. Look at yourself. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. in fact. fear. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently.. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside.

E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. posttraumatic stress disorder. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. addictions and phobias. depression. As I’ve written before. anger. fear. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. a negative experience itself. Not a hypothetical path. EMOTIONS. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. ENERGY. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. has no value of its own. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. anxiety. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy.net 32 . © Copyright 2003. any negative experience. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. general stress. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. including depression.

the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. and more importantly. weight loss to pain and illness. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. to addiction. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. © Copyright 2003. war trauma or severe physical illness. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. emptiness and anxiety. As stated earlier. With or without hypnosis. In addition. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. EFT can help with both the cravings.net 33 . With regard to addictions. do not use self-hypnosis. deprivation. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. Remember. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. understanding the negative experience is not enough. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used.

a German physician conducted with the help of 20. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. hostility. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. hurt and unforgiveness. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. even more importantly. One such study by Dr.net 34 . For example. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. It can even be linked to suicide. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. By forgiving.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. Likewise. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. but our physical health as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. meditation. hurt. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. Ryke Geerd Hamer. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. accidents and increased workplace injuries. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. resentment.

stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. seems somewhat contradictory. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. In addition to nurturing your mind. exposure to toxic substances. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. that we are out of balance. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. etc). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. Throughout this book you will find theories. but it is not. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial.specifically. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. etc. white flour. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. whole grains. In most cases of cancer. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. such as genetics. it prevents depression.net 35 . pathogens. vaccines. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. diet. something out of alignment emotionally or physically.

imagery. or an inability to let go and just relax. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. but balance will return. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that.who have the ability to relax more fully. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. © Copyright 2003. While listening to your hypnotherapist. So.net 36 . Hypnosis can help you. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. stress. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again.

turmeric. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. whole grains. nuts. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. FEAR. Increase your intake of fish. until the food becomes liquid.net 37 . Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. Drink more water. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite.F FABULOUS. garlic liberally. The indigestible parts of fruits. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. Their phytonutrients . But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Chew properly. Healthy fats. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. FOCUS.carotenoids in carrots. aiming for 30 to 50 times. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. try counting the chews in each bite. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. primary by reducing the inflammation. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. 2. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Fiber. Eat the right foods. Fruits and vegetables and spices. soy. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. which as we know reduce inflammation. safflower and vegetable oils. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. © Copyright 2003. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each.

Regular exercise should make you sweat. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. Pesticides. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. The solution: Sweat. take deep breaths. Detox. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine.net 38 . Breathe. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. our tissues. But breathing is also effective. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. As a matter of fact. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. chemicals from manufacturing. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our organs. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. which creates less gas. Detox is a relative term. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. Eat homemade food. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. Our blood is what creates our cells. 6. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. 5. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle.) If under pressure at meals. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. chew. our hair. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. but so will saunas and hot baths. 4. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. Sweat – cleans up your system. 3. Losing weight gradually . our skin. Any form of exercise helps.

Laugh. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. Tai chi -moving meditation . 8. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. Even if you can’t tell a joke. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. Have a home-made facial. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. fats. etc. our relationships. you sure can laugh at one. Take the laughter yoga class. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . refined flours.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. focused.consists of slow.net 39 . We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . 10. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. hydrogenated fats. our jobs. bread. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. boost mood. diary products. 7. I call it facial meditation. meats. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. and improve overall health. improving your healthy well-being. 9. Have sex. grains. fried foods. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. © Copyright 2003.it is delicious. relaxes your body. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship.

Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. though. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. insomnia or lack of energy.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. it keeps us from making a big mistake. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear of success. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia.net 40 . to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. a short while. what we expect. that one thing. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. FEAR: fear of change. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. or even worse.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life.naturalcounselor. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. healthy and joyous life you want. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. fear of failure. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. one thing seems to come up most frequently. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. That one thing is FEAR. mood swings. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme.

and grow up. instead. write down your goals and if you did write them down. © Copyright 2003. If you haven’t done so already. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. we have chosen.net 41 . We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. friends and lovers live this kind of life. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. But. As children we were free to play. relationships. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. we are afraid to dream. Be honest. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. This is wrong. for the most part. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. and life just gets better and better. the more vibrant and alive we become. have a reasonably happy life. the world of adults. get out your list and read it again. pretend and let our imaginations soar.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. afraid of disappointment. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. in order to be an adult. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. People without strong desires slowly whither away. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. the more connected we feel. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. career and health because you are afraid of failing. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Something that is important to you right now. as we grew older. 2. Your goals must be your very own. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. we were told to leave those dreams behind. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. When you have specific. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. We were told to grow up.

even though we would gladly give it if asked. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Focus. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. FOCUS Look around you. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. parent. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. though. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. 5. push yourself to ask for help now. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. breathing things. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes.net 42 . Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. 4. life coach or whomever and ask for support. Sometimes. a powerful tool. You know. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. if your goal is to run a marathon. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. doing something together. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. As an example. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. laughing. Use them.3. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. When you say your affirmations out loud. crying and so on. it’s hard to focus.

If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. whether asleep or awake. it still exists in our subconscious.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. though. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. forgive and accept forgiveness. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. that release. interpersonal and relationship problems.net 43 . They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement.taste. smell and hearing. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. confront the situation as needed. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. recorded on brain and body cells. sight. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. and its effects may be positive. The subconscious processes everything. health. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. © Copyright 2003. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. Over time. you are bombarded with millions of message units. During the course of a day. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. success and fulfillment. affirmative statements. negative or neutral to our mental. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. psychological imbalances. physical and emotional well-being. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When we go through periods of stress. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. our subconscious is able to do this for us. touch. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. This is commonly referred to as memory. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. resentment or anger. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. though. It disables your emotional resources. Luckily.

When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Even when we sleep long hours.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. This not only applies to a current. 4. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. existing situation. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. 2. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. 3.net 44 . The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. anger. They are also © Copyright 2003. fear and anxiety. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. Once learned. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. tears. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. 5. laughter and perspiration. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. 6. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. During the Releasing session.

At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. and feeling great.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. As people from all backgrounds. the brain is your biological computer. such as anger. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. as a Soul. sadness. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively.). I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them.net 45 . After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. however. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. etc.” 7. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. function as a computer operator. and your body and life are the printout. once learned. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. can be done alone. 8. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. disappointment. have learned. the Releaser is asked to state. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. including health care professionals and clergy. “I release (relevant emotions.

something that is crucial to goal setting. an activity or a thing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you think about anger. your current life situation. We find ourselves drifting along.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. a diversion to keep life interesting. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. Sometimes. You choose what you want in your life. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. thoughts and ideas. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. Not only in your own relationships. if you think about a color. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. not only does life get depressing. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. A state of being is not an emotion. Think of it as a game. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. though. Each of us is already whole. not really happy. I don’t know about you. whether it is an emotion.net 46 . fun. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. Conversely. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. After you’ve done this.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. meaningful and exciting. Without goals. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. “I don’t know what I want. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. A really simple way to test this theory is this. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. take the color blue for example. This same principle works the same way for emotions. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger.

I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you do this regularly. it would be a boring and scary world. © Copyright 2003. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. they will never be overwhelming. change is the whole point. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. Don’t forget about free will. Adjustments are a good thing.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. simple Measurable. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. doesn’t mean I can have him. keeps us feeling alive. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. But you can’t manifest everything you want.net 47 . not if you want to improve your life. it just means you make an adjustment. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. responsible. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. He’s got free will just as we all do. sometime weekly. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily.

Remember. set those goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. © Copyright 2003. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.net 48 . So. your goals are clear and you believe that it will.

As David Spiegel. lower blood pressure. speed up healing after surgery.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. Ph. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. It can help relieve pain. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. visualization and positive suggestions. by using specific. © Copyright 2003. turning some functions on and others off. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. relieve depression and so much more. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself.D. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. imagery. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. releasing negative thoughts. and help strengthen the immune system. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000.. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. In a pilot study published in 1999. Working from the inside out. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains.net 49 . This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change.H HEALING. there is “some overlap with meditation” however.

The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. though. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving.net 50 . particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . Every 15 minutes. During the operation. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. © Copyright 2003. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. empathic care provider and hypnosis. in terms of levels of pain. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. soothing kind of treatment. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. The suggestions. that’s because it is. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. and the third received standard care. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. Arreed Barabasz. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. anxiety and the need for painkillers.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli.

which could account for heightened attention. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. While in the trance. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. experienced less pain. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis.” says Marc Schoen. involving more than 330 patients. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. And this list goes on and on. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. Once again. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. the brain’s manager and planner. realizing all the possibilities available to you. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. “It’s not just a fantasy. On average. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. psychologists say.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. the hypnotized patients used less medication. In effect. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. If you think you are seeing color. Spiegel and Lang found.” says Spiegel. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness.net 51 . and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. A journey that you can now control.” Using imaging technology. then the real fun can start. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. you actually see it. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years.

hurt. Each incident throughout the day affects us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. hurt. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. stress. With a bit of practice. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own.jealously. We have to cope with irritating. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. When I say fuel. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. rude or just plain nasty people. you can do this exercise while awake. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. All life starts as a spark. tension and minor frustrations. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. Problems that we encounter every single day. My purpose is to help them remember. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. unpleasant. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. resentment. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. we each have to deal with something. Some little problem or some big problem. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book.net 52 . fear. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. this spark can grow a little dim. © Copyright 2003. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. As we each move through life. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). Trying to protect your heart is backwards. Try it once and feel the results. though. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. Sometimes.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. © Copyright 2003. more positive thoughts. anything at all about yourself.net 53 . you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. not only will you feel better immediately. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. According to Stephen Kosslyn. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. every message unit. comfort. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. you create a vivid. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. If there is anything in your world. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Try hypnosis. you will feel refreshed. but the results will amaze and delight you. feel or react. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. As a result. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. a professor of psychology at Harvard. relaxed. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. however. and much better about yourself. euphoria and control of your life again. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. clarity. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. Some pleasant. The more visual and real you make your goal. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal.” Using hypnosis. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”.

I IMAGERY. etc. and change your life .com Cheryl is talking about imagery.” Cheryl O’Neil. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. www. Simply put.net 54 . Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. good or bad. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. feel more loved. What we experience as feelings..” What we think. can often help the other. More and more doctors as well as patients. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ.is determined by the thoughts you think. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. once wrote. The brain is simply another organ in your body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. what we say to ourselves. Your ability to overcome obstacles. fixing a problem in one place. create passionate relationships. mend your ways. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. failure or success. who I especially admire. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. Never. heal your body. 2006. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. fear or confidence. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. depressed © Copyright 2003. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. September 26. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. boost your mood. Conversely. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. However.cheryloneil. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. As stated in Woman’s World. etc. build self-confidence. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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“What we think about we bring about. Motivation. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Law of Attraction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Abundance. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. You rise above thinking in mediation. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black.net 58 . Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. Meditation.com © Copyright 2003.com. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first.qualifiedlifecoach.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. Self Esteem. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Private & Group Coaching. The fourth part is training your mind. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Reiki. use a deck of cards. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. 98% of the time I am right. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. You know that saying. Another way I practice is with elevators. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition.

Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. and grow. you may go into a rage. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. projections. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. enjoy their life.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. succeed. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. Often. You are angry. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. envy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. in control of yourself and your partner. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. You want revenge. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. no matter what that entails. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. delusions. That’s the truth of love. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003.net 59 . You feel violated. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. and if so. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. If you can cool down. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. You want to see them become more of who they are. It is essential to communicate clearly. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. You want to stop what you are feeling.

where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. the jealousy resides within you. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. Jealousy is like an onion. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. If your relationship is based on Attachment. you cannot make a person love you. If you can do this. You can give yourself the gift. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. not within the relationship. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. It does not. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be.net 60 . Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. © Copyright 2003. you cannot. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. If you move inward and look at yourself. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship.

this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. we find envy. really look and analyze them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. This is projecting.net 61 . Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. Another layer can be guilt. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. there is nothing to feel guilty about. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. You do not own it. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. These all grow out of expectation. guilt or anger. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. Projection. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It is their own. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. you can reach self-awareness. Look at your beliefs. This insight. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. Going down to an even deeper layer. Look at the reality. Another layer is projection. This is natural and normal. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. We think that we should be able to rise above it. envy. The truth is that for most of us. the truth behind what you are feeling.

If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. You become vulnerable. our childhood. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. you can watch that love radiate out for all. If you find yourself doing this. they still don’t meet your expectations. look deep within yourself at these feelings. When you love. fear of being alone. the resentment and the hurt. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid.net 62 . then what you are experiencing is not love. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. If you love someone. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. Fear of loss. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. and let that be who you are. Perhaps you fear abandonment. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. Open your heart and mind to it. You do not need to experience jealously. but attachment. frequently they are not real. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. When you attempt to possess another person. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. If you are experiencing jealously. let that guide you. By looking deep within. Surrender to it. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. Once you release the anger. Hypnosis can help. you become yourself possessed. They come from our past. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. fear of not being worthy of love. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. You can choose to move away from those feelings. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. © Copyright 2003.

karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. but generally the concept is basically the same. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. all of which determine our future. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect.net 63 . KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Jain. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. if you prefer.K KARMA. Just a thought. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Most people © Copyright 2003. There is no judgment involved. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. present and future and because of this. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. or alternatively.

participate and change the direction you are heading.net 64 . fate and destiny are not the same. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. In the Shang dynasty in China. As stated above. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are not satisfied with your life. © Copyright 2003. Fate implies no choice. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. saint or seer. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. but fate makes no allowance for free will. prophet. In the belief systems of many cultures. Step in. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny.associate Destiny with fate. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable.

The old saying. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. “What you think about will happen in your life.” It’s about where you put your focus.00 a year income.net 65 . It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. that can help you with exactly that. “Let the chips fall where they may”. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. LOVE. is a good analogy. LIFE. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life.000. For example.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. What ever it is. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. The concept of the law of attraction is. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. start by writing it down. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. © Copyright 2003. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups.

I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. you then attracted it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there.net 66 . Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. talk to those people. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. Now that you have set this up. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. There is something there to be learned or gained. allowing it to happen is vital. now grab it. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. You asked for what you wanted. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. You have made it clear. pay attention. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. etc. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. don’t panic. I promise you it will show up. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. pay attention to what happens next. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. Now the key here is to follow up with this. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought.

The sooner we realize and accept that. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. originally thought of. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. life is messy. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. You never. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. Individual Coaching. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. She told him something I want to share with all of you.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. www.com.qualifiedlifecoach. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. Not only that. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. Group Coaching. maybe © Copyright 2003. who has no idea that she is. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. So live your life.” And I realized as she told me this. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. Go to my web site for more information. that is the Universe telling you go…. It is never wasted and it is never lost. she said “You didn’t waste those years.in a different package. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth.net 67 .” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. tele-classes and resources are offered. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. you used them to learn about yourself. a very wise woman.

those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. Definition: To pity. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. I was reminded recently. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but yes. dating. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. t. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. never have. sex. compassion and faith. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. A noun. some which I like and others not so much. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. © Copyright 2003. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. often including a desire to help. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. partnered. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. I know. you are perfect.] Shak. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. healing. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. living this life to experience love. I can see you all now rolling your eyes.” When we talk about compassion. I’m not sure why exactly. [Obs. com·pas·sion. First. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. v. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. married or alone. trust .net 68 . then. romance. all kinds of love.

in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. lazy or self-indulgent. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.K. heal others and yourself. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. then maybe. one that you can get behind. work with or just come into contact with. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. someone around you. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. in the process. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. those we live with. with all their faults. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. measurable phenomenon. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. that negative voice in your head. can start to love themselves as well. Luck is a real. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. Give yourself a break. My only question to your would be this. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. as well. then someone else.net 69 . the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. © Copyright 2003.Another thing that is so important to remember. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. and. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. nobody can make it for you. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. Instead of listening to that old record.

M MALE DEPRESSION. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. with all these statistics facing us. or even make the depression worse. the depression and the cause of that depression. 2007 article. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. This can make treatment especially difficult. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. (Harvard Medical School). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article.net 70 . M. February 26. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. Depression can manifest in many different forms.e. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. but the underlying causes vary. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. sex. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. and this is just the tip of the iceberg.” Michael Craig Miller.. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence.D. certainly not for a real man. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. and so do the ideal treatments. In addition. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. During the past 50 years. And yet. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. In the past. As Dr. “Depression may look like a single disease.

When you release the hurt.. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. resentment. you take back control of your own life.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. however. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. Ph. fear. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. As Dr. bitterness. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. hurt.D. without wanting or meaning to. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. difficult and painful process. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. Edward M. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. the healing process. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. Working from the inside out. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. Using © Copyright 2003. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated.net 71 . Woman’s World. As I quote above. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. guilt and depression. helping you regain strong mental-health. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. fear or anger that you are experiencing. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. With the aid of hypnotherapy. During the course of this journey and these detours. There are detours that we must take. love and happiness beyond measure. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 2005. without help. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. October 18. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. Hallowell. When you recognize that this is occurring. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. This is not easy. Sometimes. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. When this occurs. smooth and without bumps or potholes. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield.

In addition. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. With the help of 20. meditation.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. alcoholism. eating disorders. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. pathogens.000 brain scans. © Copyright 2003. but our physical body as well.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. a German physician. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. hurt. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Ryke Geerd Hamer. can lead to serious food addictions. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Holding onto anger. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. resentment. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. This has been proven by Dr. hostility. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. including diet.net 72 . drug abuse and depression. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Dr.

emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. keeping track of what is working and what is not.exposure to toxic substances. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. It requires that you develop a success mind.net 73 .D. This is a way of thinking. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. anger is what you will bring into your life. Success is a process of continually learning new information. thought or image. use it and use it frequently. Meditation works. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Believe me. white flour. etc). Success is largely an inner game. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. whole grains. vaccines. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. guide them in a positive direction. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). if you focus on anger. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. and this applies to any negative emotion. In addition to nurturing your mind. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. and © Copyright 2003. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. etc. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. but to your thoughts as well. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. Ph. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. I have been there and there is a way out. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. yoga can help.

the less we fear them. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Yet. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. Fear of change. This is one of the laws of success. learn from your mistakes. exploring one more option or opportunity. conditioning. see unlimited possibilities. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. hardship. foster creativity. © Copyright 2003. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. Develop a process to examine your fears. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. Gather new information. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. possibility is in the dreaming. inventor. and create new realities. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. You will have to change to be successful. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. The success mind trains itself to ask. if you talk to any star athlete. While success requires action. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. fear that we are not good enough. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. generate new ideas. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. make adjustments along the way. fear of hard work. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. but also change the world. Take time to dream. you simply need to start. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. and keep moving forward. or successful businessperson. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. Take action. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped.net 74 . fear of failure. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. and failure. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. fear of what other people will think.

think. challenge. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your world and your success. It is never too late to develop your success mind. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. you will create even more opportunities for growth. create. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. Not simply because you say yes. experience. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. and grow. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. As you do this. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. Remember. The time to begin is now. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. your actions. You continue to grow. try on new perspectives.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. But once you say no to an opportunity. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. your feelings. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. Mental toughness. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. Question. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Your thoughts. adventure. form opinions. you likely will feel fear. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. When you say yes. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. and success. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities.net 75 .

make corrections. redirect the effort.success and rewards your effort. Ph.molliemarti.com or www. Dream big and take consistent. and healthier lives. and smart action. lawyer.bestlifedesign. © Copyright 2003. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Visit her at www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. Stop caring what other people think. directed.. J. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. Inc.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. performance coach. is President of Best Life Design. happier. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.net 76 . Mollie Marti.D. mediator. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. better. engage again and refuse to quit. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail.D. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.

disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. sports. John Grinder. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. management training. Robert Dilts. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. sales. However. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. and interpersonal influence. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. linguistics and computer science. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. Unfortunately. however. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. There is. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us.net 77 .

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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use Yellow) money. Use it for minor headaches. activity. remember that red not only represents life force. Whether it makes us happy or sad. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. growth. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. Also.net 81 . Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. You have the power to change your perception. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. health healing. fire. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. red would probably not be the best color to use. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. occurrence. © Copyright 2003. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. think we are making progress or stagnating. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back.

to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. If you are suffering from a phobia. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. © Copyright 2003. But the results tend to be permanent. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. Relief is truly immediate.net 82 . you are ordered to let it go and release the image. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Take control. though. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. it can make your life almost unbearable. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. but it is not a gift at all. Sometimes. It can be done in person and over the phone. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. there will be no emotional response. By the time your therapist is done. this is how it works. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. Perception is a powerful thing. Depending on the phobia. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. control it and use it wisely. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. this power. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. Basically. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. You are then taken back to the phobia again. Once you have faced your phobia.

both written by Dr. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. fun.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. joyful and full life filled with love. Marti. thinking and dreaming. prosperity includes a rich. Fear of change. you will enjoy them immensely. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. Frequently they are a result of fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and not just a lack of money or things. it may be necessary to make some changes. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. happiness. and not just money or things. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. In order to accomplish this. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. even fear of success. Mollie W. however. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. fear of failure. For many people this is an uncomfortable process.net 83 . fulfillment and yes. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. money as well. © Copyright 2003. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want.

This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. We can see it. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. However real and external these images may seem. because what was a mechanical. external universe. standing as a physical world. around us.net 84 . in addition. © Copyright 2003. Supersymmetry. and tangible. touch it. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. utterly real. It appears undeniably to be out there. and hear it. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. in about three or four paragraphs! So. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. EPR Paradox. they are all phenomena within the mind. They exist within consciousness. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. separate from us. as I started to research this a bit. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. Time. however. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Unified Field Theory. touch. Schroedinger’s Cat. instead. independent and apart from us. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. Grand Unified Theory. Quantum Gravity. In the dream it all seems very real. smell. String Theory. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. not the other way around.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. M-Theory. solid. the Copenhagen Interpretation. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). Superstring Theory. hear. taste. space. Theory of Everything. Loop Quantum Gravity. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind.

So. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.net 85 . and there’s only one real way to do that. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Cool. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. huh? So.

and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. possibly even throws things when angry. These two distinct types. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. It is the physical who yells. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do.net 86 . However. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. RELEASING. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. © Copyright 2003. read on. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. congratulations. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. if you are not. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. Unfortunately. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. cries or screams when upset. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. our behavior patterns. First. how they can come apart.R RELATIONSHIPS. In addition.

And boy do they do relate. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. After all. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. When I say E&P attraction. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. Their first priority is their career.net 87 . the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. secure and © Copyright 2003. For the physical. This is natural. The emotional. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. She is happy. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. With the physical female. And that’s a good thing. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. outgoing. So he starts spending more time at work. In relationships.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. She on the other hand. But let’s look into the future several months. Next would be their children. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. the relationship is of primary importance to her. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. I really do mean attraction. then hobbies. on the other hand. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. When they first meet. To her partner it is his career. Let’s cover very briefly. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. When his partner complains that they never see each other. longer hours at the office. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. his career. what the priorities of each are. he cannot understand why. is quite a bit different.

This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together.net 88 . sadness. This is done through imagery and suggestion.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. Remember. Sometimes. When we are healthy and balanced. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. With communication you can understand each other. though. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. © Copyright 2003. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. Plenty. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. fear and guilt. The process is quick. communication is key to any successful relationship. Release anger. When you understand how the other thinks. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. releasing occurs naturally. Interestingly enough. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. to get clear on your goals for the future. What can be done about this. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly.

These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. process and recall information. Both techniques are effective. fears. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. That may been all you need at this time. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. anger. Ph. physical. and emotional states. hurt.net 89 . Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. doubts. positive thoughts. unpredictability and lack of control. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. body and emotions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. use your downloadable sessions first. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. If your subconscious is ready. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.D. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. Negative expectations.

you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. you are ready for it. You give energy away to other people. “It’s gray and cloudy. make a choice to expect positive results. As you add them to your day. You wake up and your first thought might be. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. It’s going to be a gloomy. You spend mental. build in ways to recoup your energy. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. boring day. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. taking in a deep breathe. to your computer. Many rituals are quite simple. Rather. Rest is any activity. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it.net 90 . For example. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. each and every day. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. and in countless other interactions. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. reading a book.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. Think and say. over the telephone. As you spend energy during the day.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. in and of © Copyright 2003.

How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. linking it with a unique physical action. When you carry negative emotions like fear. fatigue. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. Influence Management: Before any performance.net 91 . After a 90-minute presentation. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. and anxiety. nervousness. which is pleasurable and restorative. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. rhythmic breathing. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend.itself. and discarding the emotion. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. guilt. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. You’ve © Copyright 2003. anger. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. frustration. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. you are less able to concentrate on your task. For example. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. after working at your computer for an hour. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment.

For example.simply applied a band-aid. This leads to a less than stellar performance. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. try to use the same type of focal point. such as a doorframe. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. or a clock on the wall. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. © Copyright 2003.net 92 . prior to a presentation or meeting. I image a red line on the floor. it also had drifted off. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. a piece of art. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. If you are in your office or in a conference room. If you travel. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. She chose a cloud as her focal point. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. but when it came time to start. consciously look at your focal point. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. even if it is a good thing. As you travel or perform in different locations. . . body and emotions that it is time to perform. you might choose a banner. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. Any time you get distracted. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. It immediately precedes the performance and says. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. As I cross the line. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. Yet. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. can be viewed as a distraction. works well. A tangible engagement cue. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. Before you perform. “OK. back to my task. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . I “turn on” my full engagement.

com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet.bestlifedesign. If you cannot identify your rituals.D. performance coach. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. successful entrepreneur. concentration. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and success. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. As part of this process. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. J. including caffeine and adrenaline. alcohol.com or www. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. it won’t feel right. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. It will throw you off. happier. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines.net 93 . A close companion is the use of stimulants. Visit her at www. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. This means that if you get away from your rituals. lawyer. © Copyright 2003.. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. is President of Best Life Design. Mollie Marti. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. better. Ph. they will provide great consistency. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.. and food as relaxation or coping techniques.molliemarti. and healthier lives. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. mediator.D. Inc. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

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depression. apples. apricots. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. seafood. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. depression. leafy vegetables. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. such as hormonal imbalances. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. asparagus. causing irritability and nervousness. brown rice. sesame seeds. Vitamin B6. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol.to be one of the first things that goes. cabbage. chronic fatigue. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. fear. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress.net 97 . fish. moodiness and nervousness. broccoli. oats. Unfortunately. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. blood sugar fluctuations. mustard greens. worry. irritability. kelp. Calcium rich foods are almonds. garlic. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. prunes. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. Vitamin B12. Almonds. salmon. impatience. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. kale. bananas. Calcium. You need eat more avocados. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. etc. © Copyright 2003. exhaustion. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. irritability.

” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. brown rice.Folic acid. oatmeal. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. tuna and whole grains. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. Sing. such as a squishy ball. our cortisol levels drop. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. lentils.net 98 . dates. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I know mine always have been).naturalcounselor. green leafy vegetables. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. Kiss. carrots and turnips). insomnia or lack of energy. nobody will. mushrooms. to work away your tension. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Call a friend. Squeeze a squishy ball. who will take care of our children. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. In addition. our family? So let us be stress smart. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. a founder of NaturalCounselor. barley. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. salmon. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. though. Start squeezing something. mood swings. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. you must relax. root vegetables (such as potatoes. Bottom line though. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure.com © Copyright 2003. legumes. Walk. but if something happens to us. oranges.

As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. If you wake up today affirming an illness. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. If you wake up today focusing on debt. Energy is constantly in motion. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. but to the energy of the present moment. a feeling. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. if you are having a problem with money.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. If you understand that. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. For example. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow.net 99 . the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. According to the laws of physics. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. I used to feel that way often. I know I have. because you cannot stand still. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt.

speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. During the sessions. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. meanwhile. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. In a pilot study published in 1999. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. In a follow-up experiment published last year. It is only important that it does.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better.D.net 100 . By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. Ph. it doesn’t matter why it works.” So. Ph. the truth is. really. Pain sufferers. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. smooth. and elastic. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. You need to make room for change. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. Hypnosis. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. © Copyright 2003.D. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. can influence the body to heal itself.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. for example. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. for most people. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You don’t have to create change.. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. our results suggest.” Ginandes says. And.

If it’s behind you.net 101 . Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. When you have determined the directions of past and future. Remember. Take your time with this. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Take responsibility for your life and direction. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. Remember. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. your love and your joy. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. to the left or to the right. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. for you happiness and your abundance. look down on the Time Line. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. it is what feels best for you. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. © Copyright 2003. There is no correct answers. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often.

net 102 . It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. Without getting specific about each of them. © Copyright 2003. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. Sometimes what you need. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. bad things just happen. you made a mistake. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. It can look that way to others. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. It might not have looked that way to others. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself).U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. even if they cannot give it back. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. You need them to tell you to be strong. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. You procrastinated. you stuck by the wrong person. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. I’d like you to consider another alternative.

90. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. © Copyright 2003. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. For example. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. First. another may practice Hinduism. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. VICTIMHOOD. Spirituality. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life.net 103 . VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. etc. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. 85. you need to define what it is you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. whatever feels right. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Picture yourself at age 80.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. while another may be a Wiccan.

Something very unpleasant.net 104 .Now think back over your life. If it is what you believe. What areas cause you regret. What value areas of your life are you happy with. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. or even the perceptions of our family. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. You might get angry. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. What you might think is wrong. friends. mugged or even raped. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Remember. Perhaps you are abused. Figure it out early. © Copyright 2003. church and society. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. then your perception makes it right. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. are you really meant to be together. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. is you. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. but not only that. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. then you’ve got a problem. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. you will certainly feel violated. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. However. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. Think about all the value areas of your life. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy.

my friends don’t understand me. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much.I want you to consider something. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. however. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. Life. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances.. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. my husband ignores me. And. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. my kids don’t show me any respect. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. But just take a moment now and really think about it. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. and society actually encourages this thought. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. etc. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. A rather sad. my wife doesn’t understand me. etc. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me.” But. for what you do and what you say. But now. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. It wasn’t fun. Here in the U.S. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. my mother didn’t give me enough love.net 105 . This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. my mother didn’t understand me.. etc. happiness and joy available to each of us. it means you are not responsible for anything. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect.

Simply. As stated in Woman’s World. The woman who has come out of a nasty.net 106 . You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. 2006. You had to be strong. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. boost your mood.. If we take back control. can often help the other. build self-confidence. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. each of us. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. please. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Fixing a problem in one place though. is powerful beyond belief. we lose everything. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. bad relationship and can keep on going. September 26.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. feel more loved. beautiful heart and so much love to give. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. For example. it is the ability to enjoy life. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. etc. If that is taken away from us . etc. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety.who you are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. never © Copyright 2003. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. eventually. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. Remember. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big.

what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. If you are feeling down. Is essence. can change how your feel.net 107 . © Copyright 2003. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. your imagination. Use the power of your mind.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. depressed or negative. increase your self-confidence. relieve pain. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. So. yes imagery and visualization can change your life.

If. The truth is. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. WORDS. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. alcohol. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. diet and weight.net 108 . Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light.e. bleached flour. etc. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. included six small meals a day. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. however. First one. 4. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. Confusing. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best.W WEIGHT. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. before facts have actually been verified. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. scientists. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. Not only that. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. it’s good again. the only diet that had ever worked for them.. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. 5.) 3. refined.

you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. 18. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. Has your mother. 17. 19.6. Do you associate a person. 7. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 8.net 109 . © Copyright 2003. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. Out of all the food you eat in a day. Do you eat breakfast? 15. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 20. 9. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. 10.

but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. self-confidence. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. confidence and happiness. You know © Copyright 2003. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. survivors. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. a lack of fulfillment. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. having said all that. you know that as strange as it may sound. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. More often than not. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. We heal from physical injuries. You had to be strong. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. satisfaction. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. WRONG! Words have power. Abuse victims. they include abandonment issues. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. by working it.net 110 .Now.

Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. When this occurs. intelligence and compassion. This is why “words” do have so much power. your talent. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. call out for help. Your life depends on it After all. scream and yell and swear all you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But when you are with someone you care about. husband. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. this planet needs you. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. find out what you can do. wider and stronger each and every day. Vent when you are alone. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. wife. But most of all. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. throughout your life entire life. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you.because I say it over and over again. I have to say this. As a matter of fact. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. lover. dreams and desires.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. The same holds true for what you hear. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. And for each of us. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. someone will answer. And that’s what venting to another is. Think and dream about your future. Make some calls. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. keep your thoughts strong. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. Also. words can hurt you. but not only that. But you are wrong. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events.net 111 . Once said they are out there forever.

improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. Releasing sessions can work well with these. much like arthritis in wet weather. or. However. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. © Copyright 2003. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. when things are going smoothly. If you can do this.net 112 . can help. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.withdraw into ourselves. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. If you do not feel ready for that. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. especially in interpersonal situations.

net 113 .X X SMOKER. binger or whatever. What do you look like. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. When you have done this. Wait 10-20 seconds. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Make a commitment and a decision. vital. doesn’t it?. DRINKER. Notice what you see. BINGER ETC. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Once you decide that you want to quit. the decision becomes easy. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. vibrant. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. you have a decision to make. drinking. You can choose to live your life. very clearly. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Whatever it is. And now let those images fade completely away. clear skin. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. healthy. Make a promise to yourself. © Copyright 2003. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. what is different and better. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. drinker. are you now sure which one you want. clear and easy breathing. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Wait 10-20 seconds. the body you want. strong. Of these two possible futures in your life. your energy will flow in that direction. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Before you make that decision. energy. Notice how you feel.

net 114 . it does not mean you will receive it. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. you always have a choice. For instance. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. you can only lift a small amount of weight. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. your entire belief system.com. In making a choice. happiness. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. joy. your life script. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. So. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. © Copyright 2003.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. Everything in life is a choice. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. Compare it to strength training. success. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. a better job. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. When you first begin to work your muscles. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. you may never receive it.

com To me. check it regularly.According to Holly.net 115 . check it out at www. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. © Copyright 2003. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about.hollygleason. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. looking around. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be.

An antonym is apathy.net 116 . please do it with zeal and without apathy.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. cause. or ideal. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. fight for your dreams and your goals. And always remember this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. intensity and passion. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. cause. it means a diligent enthusiasm. or ideal and the determination to further that person. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life.

Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. You can also visualize this word in your mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There are 15 points. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for.” “gamut spot.net 117 . While you are doing these three karate chops. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation.” and the “sore spot. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. To make this even more effective. © Copyright 2003.

3. Do what feels right for you. you can use just one or two words. 10. 7. 11. fear. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1.net 118 . or anything you want changed.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. This is not a sentence. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. or DEPRESSED. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. or AFRAID. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. but do each issue separately. You can go through the tapping process several times. anxiety. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 6.” © Copyright 2003. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. 9. 2. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 12. 8. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 5. 4. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points.

Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. emotions. ideas and beliefs within yourself. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time.” And that’s all there is to it. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. resentment or negativity away. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. By burning away all anger and negativity. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. As you do this. you also release all negative thoughts. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. your connection with yourself is complete. uncross your arms and legs. And as your heart fire increases. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. I love myself. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. hurt.net 119 . but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. feelings. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. you open all pathways to love. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. And as your heart fire increases. © Copyright 2003.

Then when you are ready. smell it.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. smell the salt. like salt. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. at the beach. anyplace. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. hear the waves and the birds. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. months or even years to be released. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. weeks. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. heal yourself and relax yourself.. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. Take yourself fully into this place. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. see the image). days. If another color comes to mind. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. Then imagine or visualize white granules. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero.e.net 120 . In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. hear it (i. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. If you feel like it and have the time. allow that color to flow in and out as well. See it. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. cleansing breath in and let it out. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. taking this time right now for myself. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. hours.

Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. thoughts and feelings. Here’s my snapshot. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. activity. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. relationship. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. You are in control and in charge of your body. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can.net 121 .number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. © Copyright 2003. happy and having fun together. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. my guy and I are in love. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. yourself. Let go of all tightness within you. emotions. or whatever it is your desire. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses.

live in the moment and dream in the future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I choose to forget past mistakes now. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I say to myself RANCH. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear.net 122 . At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. With my thoughts I create my new. positive delightful reality. © Copyright 2003. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I keep saying ranch until that image. I vibrate with positive energy.

.... 97... 45. 48...................... 127.. 74.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att... 37.. 127. 91.. 78 alternative programs ...... 101...... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma................... 78 affirmations.. 18.... 36........... 20... 114... 94.... 73....... 114... 86. 99. 12........ 126..... 55 emotional freedom technique ..53. 65. 109. 129 diet . 63... 110... 4.. 9.. 35.30.86 Circle Therapy . 130 apprehension... 43.... 44.. 76.. 131 dreams 22. 121.. 118 acute pain....2.. 78 cortisol ......... 79... 60.... 21..........3. 94....... 96. 8.... 94............. 10.. 27.............. 43... 7. 4..... 113....... 126 adrenalin ...... 84..... 60.... 115. 21..... 97....... 52. 126... 90. 46. 33. 50. 104... 79... 78.... 23.... 95 © Copyright 2003. 78 E&P attraction .. 114... 6............ 71.... 33... 93...... 34.5..88 clarity 9... 56... 7... 70... 96...........8 Adrian Calabrese. 83..... 74.. 3. 79 dream 1. 52. 6.. 41. 16....30 anchor ... 27....... 98. 112 compassion ... 47..... 31....... 31.......... 28... 78........ 90... 80.. 94 baggage.. 38...9.... 121....7... 22......21 Arreed Barabasz . 5. 3 addiction . 79 Carol Ginandes. 104......... 37... 45... 36. 73 depression .1. 26.. 46........ 110 communication .. 6......... 74.. 37. 32.86 addict . 7. 25...... 32. 47... 59........ 23........ 42...... 106....... 22.7. 103. 81.. 46.... 114.. 61.. 22....... 36. 128 anxiety 7.. 102..... 112... 71. 78.. 84. 53.......D......... 95... 32...... 80........ 54... 21.. 52..... 35.... 21.24. 35. 22. 35... 10 binging .... 89........ 94. 56........ 127.. 77... 47... 37. 1. 129 food addictions.... 14............ 77.. 105. 30.......... 52... 42.. 4. 19....... 7. 6..... 41.. 119 confidence.... 122 chronic anger .... 117.. 70...38.. 97... 91... Ph... 72...2. 114..... 78 chronic pain ...... 44.. 122........5................... 43.............. 5.. 109.... 89.................... 21....... 125 energy .... 2........ 62. 116 disease... 32. 3... 116 Bereavement ........ 5. 8...Index 12-step programs . 92... 24. 55.... 38.. 129 alcoholism.. 37.... 121 drug abuse. 102. 53.. 38..... 60... 66.. 26.... 20. 21.. 15. 6... 50.... 19..58 choice2................. 104. 96....... 79..2.... 39..... 58. 44............ 102.... 60...... 24... 36..net i ..........125 anger .. 28...... 113 Abraham Hicks ... 76... 2. 55 Dawn Abraham ... 44..... 78 EFT .... 47. 67............. 104......5... 55...5.... 63.. 89 fear 1. 78 forgiveness.. 78........ 6. 26..... 7 attraction ....... 35.. 21. 77...... 21. 27.. 29.54 association .... 94......... 5............. 50.. 39...... 10..... 118 consciousness 8.... 71... 116..2........... 44. 32....... 30....... 97..... .. 129...... 95......... 81. 43......... 6. 78............107 abuse 5.. 105 darkest hour .......... 123....... 76. 32.. 97. 97.... 76 desire................. 25...... 75.... 44... 63... 89 balance ...... 58......... 103..... 104. 95.. 130 epilepsy ... 98............ 45.. 89....... 87. 42.... Ph..... 12 Elvira Lang ........... 106....1..... 6.. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross . 35.D........... 76... 3 Alzheimer’s ........ 94.. 48... 44...... 36...... .... 54..... 101...24.. 60.. 5.. 106. 125. 71... 5... 38....... 35... 57............... 24 eating disorders........ 37.. 46....... 38.. 72................... 81. 94. 35... 88.. 63. 124 drinking.. 58................ 130 focus......... 37.. 30 Eric Butterworth ..... 81.. 57. 23. 79 cancer.. 81...... 27.121 blood sugar ..... 88.... 128.... 31..... 6.... 78.. 119.. 36......... 107 Cheryl O’Neil . 45...... 21 David Spiegel...... 90 coronary disease. 119...... 103....... 64..

... 112.. 101 self-image ... 32.. 105 Jane C............... 25................. 16.......5.. 6.... 53........ 83 Roger Callahan .. 6........ 83 nitric oxide .10........... Woods ..... 65.......... 118. 26.30 high blood pressure........ 32... 83. 27...... 77........37.. 129 resentment... 58..... 43. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice...... 120... 71 life force................... 53... 79.... 77........12 habit .....7.... 92.... 110........ 21...... 35. 13........ 115... 4... 87.... 55.... 5.. 122 Harvard .... 27........... 10.... 107.... 57.. 47.. 50........... 77..... 65.............. 93... 99... 37.. 77...... 22. 76...... 113... 37...........net ii ... 13.. 10... 22..... 127 hypersuggestible ... 56......... 5..... 108 Parkinson’s disease...... 113 prosperity .83 Law of Attraction.. 111.. 119 neuro-linguistic programming .............. 58.... 39..8.. 109.. 42........... 47..... 125.... 129 heart disease.. 30.... 74......... 94.. 54.....10..................32 hypnotherapy ..5...... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ...... 53. 78.... 28........ 10....9........ 38...... 63.. 64. 10.. 7........ 69......... 86. 53.. 79... 22.......... 9..... 67..... 79. 76... 8...... 37 powerless ...... 39... 6.............. 83 overload ....... 40....1. 5....... 87 lose weight 4.. 78............... 78........... 38......36 joy ........ 63. 78. 84........ 116. 110.... 54........... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis... 51.. 115...........83 John Kappas............. 36 Guilt ............ 47... 21. 59... 78..... 44......... 3. 56. 109. 58...... 128. 30 passive-aggressive . 127...... 89........ 59........ 118......... 77.... 75. 67...... 116 happiness ...... 44.. 30.... 120.. 107. 94 mood swings ...7.. 118...... 38. 121 relationships24.. 117. 21... 58.... 57..... 6... 43... 117 medicine. 39...... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003... 15.24 Journal of Clinical Psychology.. 101........... 119.... 79........ 43.28 John Grinder .... 110.. 30.... 88.......... 29....... 66............. 57.. 79.... 19..... 60.... 122. 119..fulfillment ..... 8........ 47.........84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ..... 35.. 57.....76 Hridaya Yoga... 114 imagery .10. 37..... 77.... 59...... 37 self-esteem .. 79...... 37. 37... 113.... 77........ 30... 6 Pat Dennis... 1... 107....... 95....... 76.. 56... 129 grief. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute . 42..... 26...... 36............... 86.... 89 phobias... 87......32 illness 36. 49.. 115 smoking.. 77.... 32......8 hypnosis ... 37.......40. 77. 46. 79........... 78....... 89.... 118 self-talk .. 78 NLP....................... 64......... 86 habits. 125 men ............ 10.. 53...... 78... 58.... 109... 23. 95...... 125 immune suppression ....... 57..... 32...24.. 59...... 50... 58................ 9.. 99..... 34. 54...... 107 healing ... 60.... 42. 121 snapshot ............ 45.. 127......... 17 Janet Luhrs.... 36..11...... 103....... 67............... 54. 122 Ida Kendall ... 56... 57 neural interconnections ..................... 22.. 31. 89. 78... 29............. 56........ 114. 52.. 120 relaxation . 93 message units . 47....3. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ... 6........ 59..............54 Irina Wardas ... 32 phobia .. 130 Judith DeLozier .... 118 Gary Craig . 28.. 88.. 7....... 14.............. 78. 22....... 102.................. 37........ 7... 128 Richard Bandler .... 57...... 21...... 56 hurt. 87.... 6.. 15........... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ......... 101. 85. 58...... 5...2..... 33.. 47.. 94. 2.... 43........... 103.................. 58....... 54........ 86.... 105. 43.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 123. 46.... 29 neuro pathways .9.. 35.... 77. 34. 43................ 83 Robert Dilts.................. 37...... 53.. 81... 109.35 goal . 84 panic attacks..........

. 114 triggering event ... 59......................107 trigger..... 37............ NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 114 visualization.. 7.. 80.... 44..83 Stephen Kosslyn .. 5. 94...............4.......... 34.. 2...... 38.................. 77. 65. 47....... 109.. 47............... 95...53 transformation. 36.................. 118.. 37. 78........ 91. 60. 79 thought habits ........ 56....... 84............ 57. 5......57 stress hormones ... 78. 112... 75........................ 128 subconsciously..........44............... 58........ 29.......... 106 wounds .. 124 © Copyright 2003............ 116 Women..............28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis . 34. 110 Two Futures ....6. 95. 122 zeal............... 109............................. 85.. 59....... 6...... 77... 45.. 26.......... 6.... 77................... 48................... 39. 122........ 6. 30....... 114 weight ...... 101... 10............Stephen Gilligan ....... 8.. 109 triggers ......net iii . 111 victimhood ...... 77.. 22.... 107.. 121 value areas of life... 125..... 30............. 78 subconscious.. 115........... 120 suicide. 37.............. 46..... 7.... 85. 21. 79....................... 120 yummy list ............ 43............................ 113..5.......

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