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Phones : 2309 0621 / 2301 0452 . It cannot be sold by any party. nor displayed in any bookshop. and this book a collection of the best jokes from all over is it. But dont keep its benefits to yourself tell them to your family.Published in India by Ashok Mahadevan for RDI Print and Publishing Ltd from (Regd Office) Orient House. friends and colleagues. Manipal. Adi Marzban Path. nor used for any commercial purpose whatsoever. This booklet is offered free of cost to select readers of Reader’s Digest. Mumbai 400 011. stall or retail outlet. Laser Typesetting by Aqeel Associates. Mumbai 400 001 and printed by him at Manipal Press Limited. This book is guaranteed to keep you in good humour for a long time to come. But we sometimes need an extra-large booster to get into really great shape. Youll become their favourite physician. Preface L aughter the best medicine is a term coined by Readers Digest and we deliver small doses in every issue of the magazine.
. He knocked on the toilet door and asked. To their astonishment. Maid: And he returned this morning. The tourist retorted: You Indians are slow! We can construct such buildings in two-and-a-half. How are you going to travel without a ticket? asked one of the perplexed lawyers. Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village.. they bought only one ticket. A foreign tourist hired a guide to take him around Delhi and Agra. and the tourist asked what it was. when they reached the Qutab Minar. please? Visitor: There is a bill. In the train. ef Maid: What do you want. each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them.. Visitor: Which I have to pay him. Shortly after the train started. Twenty years.. please. sir? Visitor: I want to see your master. he admired the architecture and asked how many years it took to build. In this fashion the tourist claimed that every building he admired could have been built in his country in quarter the time. answered an engineer. this could have been built in five. one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding. Finally. At the Red Fort at Delhi. It wasnt there yesterday evening. At Agra he admired the Tajs beauty and asked how many years it took to build.Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. the ticket collector arrived. replied the guide. The ticket collector took it and moved on. the lawyers took their seats. Soon after the train started. Maid: Whats your business. He knocked on the door and said. When they boarded the train. Seeing this. Ticket please. said the guide. The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. At the station. the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip. the engineers didnt buy any. In my country. but the thre e engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them.. Only ten years. Overheard at the veterinarians: I had my cat neutered. the guide replied: I dont know. J J J 5 eee 6 . Wait and watch.. answered one of the engineers. Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts. Ticket. How are you going to travel on a single ticket? asked a lawyer. the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. So when they got to the station. Hes still out all night with the other cats. the tourist said. but now hes a consultant. You Indians are a lazy lot. Wait and watch.
I just love it! she gushed. So what? his wife shot back. She was thrilled and listened eagerly as he explained all its features. J J J 7 8 . I heard that that someone was shot dead. Ive been having terrible obsessions for years. because he knew too much. Whos been treating you until now? Dr Lal Rathor. the bomb may go off any minute. How do you like your new phone? Oh. said the man carrying the explosive. he husband said. the bull stopped a few inches from the boy. he turned her down. Whos afraid of a mouse? Overheard: I can say one good thing about airline food: at least theyre considerate enough to give you only small portions. the efficient woman replied. How come? asked the mother. the driver assured him. we have got a spare one in the boot. Its so cute and smalland your voice sounds so clear. the boy calmly continued his milking. or their first anniversary. To everyones astonishment. saying: Your salary is already higher than that of the secretary at the next desk. Dont worry. turned around and walked away . Hey. and no one has ever been able to help me. I see. As horrified workers nearby watched. A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a bomb. which one of them had in his lap. Drive a little faster. Whats that? How did you know I was at the sari shop? F ef ef Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel. Im curious to know what he advised you to do. ooo B oy to mother: Ive decided to stop studying. a man bought his young wife a cell phone. A patient complains to a famous psychologist: Professor. Hes an idiot. the boy replied . The next day she was out shopping when the phone rang. I knew this cow was his mother-in-law. To come and see you.W hen an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary. And she has five children. and hubby was losing his temper. Werent you afraid? one of the workers asked the boy. Youll bring out the beast in me. Be careful. he said to his wife. Excuse me. darling. I thought we got paid for what we produce herenot for what we produce at home in our own time. Not at all. But theres just one thing I dont understand.
Thinking hed outpace the cop. ef J J J An American visiting England walked into a hotel lobby. is give up drinking and smoking. leaned over the man and said: Listen. the receptionist told him. The doctor had just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination. sirens blaring. I want to marry a smart woman. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. But we invented the language. eighty. Im very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver.A man was driving well above the speed limit when a police car suddenly emerged from behind. Make up your mind. ready to receive a speeding ticket. a woman wholl make me happy. Dont you give your regular clients a discount eee Late one night. and ninety. give me my money! eee O ne man to another.Le Rochefoucauld 9 10 . I have had a really lousy day. Oh. When I saw your car in my mirror. then seventy. Perhaps. Finally. The lift? said the American. Mister. you Honour. No ticket. Elevators were invented in the States. I mean the lift. How many times have you been imprisoned? Nine. I dont deserve the best. what the heck. Give me your money. I can drive. Doctor. a good woman. retorted the Englishman. replied the Englishman. the affluent man replied. Whats next best? ef An old man gives good advice in order to console himself for no longer being able to set a bad example. the doctor said. you mean the elevator. Give me a good excuse and Ill let you go. get to bed early and stay away from women. The man thought for a moment and said: Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. and I just want to go home. said the friend to the old man. The police officer got out. I think I should know what it is called. Oh. The best thing for you to do. Nine? In this case. eee A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked. The lift will be down presently. You cant do thisIm a politician! In that case. His cars speed rose to sixty. Indignant. dont worry. the man pushed his accelerator to the floor. No. said the American. said the patient. . the man thought. he demanded. and pulled over. Maximum sentence? said the defendant. replied the robber. I will give you the maximum sentence. I thought you were that officer and were trying to give her back to me.
What took you so long to get here? asked a surprised St. My mother helps me. Not a single one. Finally. But I dont see any elephants around here. He looked puzzled. he said. How do you spell it? he replied. arrived at heavens gate. a young wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers. The Duke of Gloucester. Peter asked him if hed ever loved a woman. A young soldier who was on a twenty four-hour pass went to a dance in town and there met an attractive young woman. annoyed at legislation that had eee recently been passed. As they danced. Before allowing him entry. ran a scathing editorial under the headline: HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS. he said. said the woman sitting next to him. He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline: HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS. he said. Excuse me. I really go for you in a big way. she asked if he was now ready to learn how to change diapers. I didnt mean the next diaper. Im busy. Effective. isnt it? crowed the drunk. I meant the next baby! ooo A man who had just died. Id sure like to speed like to speed things up between us. Sugar in your tea? she shouted. the man replied. When she asked. Perhaps you loved a pet? Did you not feel a love for nature? No. But I am dancing as fast as I can. Ill do the next one. 11 12 . Youve been dead for ages. he kept making passes at her but without much result. Tom replied. But. Shortly afterwards. would you mind explaining why youre doing this? It scares away the elephants. Peter. A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London schoolteacher for the first time and she asked him his name. Did you have a friend you cared for? No. replied the drunk. she protested wide-eyed. was fed into a computer. No. Oh. speaking at a luncheon in London: A home accidents survey which showed that ninety percent of accidents on staircases involved either the top or the bottom step. Asked how accidents could be reduced. said the woman. he replied finally. But I dont have much time. dont stir it then. Ah. I have to be back in the morning. S taying at a small-town hotel. Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah. the computer answered: Remove the top and bottom steps. J J J After they had brought their first baby home from hospital. a girl threw open the door. The next time the baby was wet. Tom ordered tea. Many prominent local politicians were outraged. No. and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement. well. ooo The editor of a small weekly newspaper. Look sweetheart. St. thank you.A rather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window.
Bhagwan will bless you. In disgust the beggar left the temple and sat outside a country liquor shop. I will show you what exasperation is! He dialled once again. on hearing the screeching sounds. Son. There you go again. For Gods sake. Now. One day he asked a shopper. Hello. I. there is a lawyer. the man replied. Is Melvin there? There is no one called Melvin here! the voice replied. everybody looks at you as if youre crazy. Hello. slammed his newspaper on the floor and yelled. where there is a way. he cried. But the devotees gave him very little. Ernies father said: Hello! This is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me? Husband to wife as they emerge from a long session with a marriage guidance counsellor: Darling. he noticed that this hungry man some money to fill his belly. said a voice at the other end. and. said Ernies father. I told you there is no Melvin here! You have got a lot of nerve calling again! Did you hear that? Ernies father asked. All I know is that if you just pick up a melon and put it your bag. The family dog was at there too.Little Ernie was having a problem with his homework. while his father was trying to read. Ill give you a practical demonstration. Why dont you look up numbers before you dial them? You see? said Ernies father. there is a loophole. where there is a rule. Annoyed wife to husband: Cant you say weve been married twenty-four years instead of almost a quarter of a century? ef The sign on the door of a lawyers chamber reads: Where there is a will. where there is law. And on hearing the voice at the other end. there is a rule... cant you play something the dog doesnt know? 14 L . Then he jumped up. That man was not at all happy with our call. many dropped rupee notes in his bowl. When Paul was working as a salesman at a supermarket. and says. where there is a loophole. he asked.I. As customers came out of the shop in high spirits.again. A few paise in the name of Bhagwan. Dad. snapped his wife. ooo 13 ittle Johnny was practising the violin in the living room. Ive been doing this for forty years. he whined. began to howl.I. Thanking God. and so here I am. truly inscrutable are thy ways! You give one address but live in another. But watch this! He then dialled the number again.. J J there is a way. A poor man sat begging outside a temple. Johnnys father listened to the dog and the violin for as long as he could. the beggar said: Hey Bhagwan. His father picked up the phone and dialled a number. What is the difference between anger and exasperation? Well. In the name of Bhagwan give before choosing a melon.. That was anger... I love you. Hello. is Melvin there? Now look here! the voice said angrily. said his father. there is law. son. shoppers would hold the fruit upto their ears and knock on it. He never knew what they expected to hear.
Why didnt you tell me that when I asked you? asked the traveller.Anton Chekov The world is a comedy to those who think. How did I know how fast you were going to walk? replied the old man.An eager young man entered his prospective bosss cabin for an interview. I see. is for you to find out. whats the matter? he asked cheerily. the young man replied promptly. sir.. He is the only chap I know who can make a diagnosis without asking questions. eee D octor: Shall I gave your wife a local anaesthetic? Businessman: Certainly not. and respect do not unite a people as much as a common hatred of something. ooo Adoctor was called in to see a rather testy aristocrat..a veterinarian. make Naples the capital of Italy.. lady. Mummy? So youre beginning to wonder. Since I put up those signs.. said the doctor thought-fully. if youll excuse me for an hour or so Ill go along and fetch a friend of mine . Well. . sir. Why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy? Sonus mother asked. he grumbled. too! 16 15 . He hadnt gone far when he heard a call: Hi. For Heavens sake.. Love. I hope you wiped your shoes on the doormat while coming in? Back came the rejoinder. so the traveller kept walking. And Sonu replied: Because. . itll take you about 20 minutes. a tragedy to those who feel. growled the patient. As the van driver put down the last box in her second-floor flat. that is what I put in my Geography exam! Customer: Why are the signs in your window so full of spelling and grammatical mistakes? Storekeeper: So that people will think Im a fool and come in expecting to get the best of me. There is no doormat outside! A teacher had just moved house with all her possessions including box after box of books. mister. I can afford something imported. Make Naples the capital of Italy. That. sir. Yes. A traveller walking along a road asked an old man working in a field to how long it would take to get to the next village. Said the boss One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness.. One more thing were very particular about is honesty. But the old man didnt answer.. Well.Horace Walpole W hat made you marry Daddy. business has boomed. friendship. why didnt you read them before you came? J ooo S onu was saying her bedtime prayers: Please God.
he works so hard I see him for only about an hour each day. You poor thing. What didnt he have? All As on his report card. I think so. A month later the sales manager spotted him walking about in a police uniform. ask a man. When the would-be recruit went home. The mother of many children lined up her family. anager . Here the customer is always wrong. Mother: I sent my little boy for one kilo of plums and you only sent 800 grams. sir. Mathur asked her friend. . the examiner decided to go easy on him with the oral test. Oh. Daddyll win easily. Sir. . I see youve joined the force. examination.M y father wants me to have everything he did not have when he was a boy. but doesnt that shows how much in demand I am? M eee salesman was dismissed because he was rude to a customer. how did it go? Did you get the job?. bursting into tears. his wife asked. if you want anything done. said the youngest kid. A not-too-bright candidate for the police force failed in the written Who shot Abraham Lincoln?. The examiner told him to come back the next morning. I think . The one who obeys me immediately and does exactly as hes told without arguing will get a rupee at the end of the week.Yes. replied his dad. Applicant .From your references I see youve had four jobs in the last month. I had no idea his first name was Always. 17 ooo When I eventually met Mr Right. ask a woman. madam. if you want anything said.Rita Rudner In politics. he replied.? Mrs. Pretty well. asked the examiner. said the sales manager. said Mrs. Mathur. Well. eee Hows your husband. The candidate pondered for a moment and then asked if he could have sometime to come up with the answer.Margaret Thatcher 18 . Its not fair. Yes. Grocer: My scales are all right. Have you weighed your little boy? A son. W hy do they call the language we speak our mother-tongue? asked the ef Because fathers so seldom gets a chance to use it. Bhatnagar. Its all right. the hour soon passes. They have already got me working on a case. This is the job Ive been looking for all my life. Since he was the Chiefs nephew.
Your son just threw a rock at me as I passed by. and ends by blocking his retreat. J J Two employers were talking. Whats the meaning of this? I just counted my pay and its a dollar short! The cashier examined the envelope. Twenty-one years and some months. You didnt complain then. One hundred and eight. Remember you are under oath. Said one: I fear that young man I employed last week as a cashier is dishonest.but two in a row is too much! W hat is your age? asked the Judge.Louis Morris Life is one long process of getting tired. . your Honour.George Carlin You can always tell when a man is well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. Steno : Why. The employee stormed angrily into the cashiers office. . did you? Look said the employee. eee The famous film actor was being analyzed. Oh. Tell me. asked the psychoanalyst. Do you ever cheat on your wife? Who else? ooo B oss : You should have been here at 8 Oclock. then checked his records. The love that lasts longest is the love which is never returned. Im judging by disappearances! Hey. Accused: That is what I tried to tell these policemen. I told you that I didnt want to see you here again. Then it wasnt my son. How many months? the Judge persisted. . An occasional mistake I can overlook .Oscar Wilde ef Thats the trouble with being greeted Have a nice day! it puts all the pressure on you.Samuel Butler .Somerset Maugham 19 20 . the tourist said to the mountaineer. what happened? Woman begins by resisting a mans advances. Did it hit you? No. Last week we paid you a dollar more. you shouldnt judge by appearances. but they would not believe me. .J udge: The last time I saw you. replied the other. the woman answered. Im not.
She: How do you know? He: Ive asked them.H L Mencken 21 22 . didnt you? Pupil: Not a bit. Teacher: And how ho you know they were Indian? Pupil: Easy. Teacher: And what nationality were they? Pupil: Indian. She: Because no matter how stupid a man is.George Bernard Shaw ooo When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. .m. ef The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. ef He: There are an awful lot of girls who dont want to get married. of course.A large notice in a shop window announced a big sale. Therefore. They had no roof over their heads. I wont open the shop at all today! Teacher: Who were the first human beings? Pupil: Adam and Eve.m.and they called it Paradise. Just before the shop was due to open. no clothes to wear and only one apple between them . Once more. We dont want fools in our family. Chemistry Teacher: Where did you get an idea like that? Student: You told us the other day it was H to O. he was shoved unceremoniously to the back. the unreasonable persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. the little man went to the head of the queue again. Chemistry Teacher: Can you give me the formula for water? Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-. an inconspicuous little man walked to the head of the queue. ooo Teacher : You missed school yesterday. all progress depends on the unreasonable man. Father: Would you still love my daughter even if she were poor? Suitor: Of course. . Angry women elbowed and pushed him until he was right at the back of the line. The little man walked to one side of the queue and said: If thats your attitude. An enormous queue had started to form by 7-30 a. Undaunted. they never forgive the loss of their prerogative. Father: Youre no good. J He: I wonder why women pay more attention to beauty than to brains. this time with a few smacks on the face and a couple of thumps from umbrellas wielded by angry women. with sweeping reductions. starting at 9 a. he is seldom blind.
Abba Eban J J J Women want mediocre men.George Bernard Shaw History teaches us that men and nations live wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. offered the adman. Im quite well known in the movies. All right. so the senior creative man at the advertising agency decided to go to Rome to see if he could persuade the Pope to make a TV commercial. . ooo Pretty young girl: If I go up to your room do you promise to be good? Young man: Why I promise to be FANTASTIC! The proud mother was showing off her new baby to her friend. I wonder how much the bread people are giving him. Im sorry. ooo If an artist becomes angry does he lose his temperas? ef Let no one suppose the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact they are employer and employee. her eyes lighting up. And thats our very last offer. replied the other. But still the Pope refused. he continued. The aging actor was trying to chat up the gorgeous young girl. Two astrologers met each other in the street on a particularly cold and bitter day.I once knew the twenty-year-old daughter of a Hollywood film actress who kept getting depressed because she didnt look as young as her mother. . Dont you recognize me? he asked. muttered one. disappointed adman turned to his secretary and said: Its odd that the Pope refused to do a commercial for tea. but I cant do that. Five hundred thousand. Yes. replied the Pope. Where do you usually sit? eee The main difference between men and boys is that mens toys cost more money. said the Pope. Im afraid not. Yes. A tea manufacturer wanted a new advertising gimmick. replied the friend. On his way back. She shook her head. . and men are working hard to be as mediocre as possible. solemnly. Well give you one hundred thousand pounds for a ten second commercial.Margaret Mead 23 24 . All you have say is: Give us this day our daily tea. Terrible winter were having. Doesnt he look just like his father? asked the mother. But I shouldnt worry too much hell probably change for the better as he gets older. the ad man told the pontiff. It reminds me of the winter of 2057. Oh! she said. One million pounds.
if I have an accident. of the car blue. madam. You sack her. All right. please. said the Chairman. Thanks for getting me out of that terrible chore. I keep asking her but I cant understand a word she says. then. Mother: But youve only just started crying. Now. Ive left the car just outside the shop. Mother: When did that happen? Sally: About twenty minutes ago. and then one man said.The elderly aunt bent down and asked her three-year-old nephew: Can you tell me the name of your new baby sister? The little boy shook his head sadly and replied: I dont know what it is. you watch them fight it out trying to decide what colour car caused the accident! J J Office worker: Sir? Boss: Yes? What is it now? Office worker: Please can I have a day off next week to do some late Christmas shopping with my wife and our six kids? Boss: Certainly not! Office worker: I knew youd be understanding. Bookshop assistant: Certainly. Sally: I know. said the chairman. Right. sir. What on earth are you doing? asked Claude. self-consciously: Me. ef One day Claude came home from work to find his wife painting one side Customer: Id like to buy a novel. eee 25 eee 26 . Mother: Why are you crying? Sally: Because I fell and hurt myself. I thought youd gone out. Whos been carrying on with my secretary? he demanded. My wifes best friend has just celebrated the twentieth anniversary of her twenty-ninth birthday. put it this way who has not been carrying on with my secretary? Again there was silence. Simple! she replied. At the company board meeting the chairman rose to make his speech. Do you like light or heavy reading? Customer: It doesnt matter. I was hoping you could suggest something suitable. sir. This was met with silence. You know Ive had so many accidents and I always get caught due to the statements of the witnesses in court. Do you have the title or name of the author? Customer: Not really. Bookshop assistant: No problem. Earlier. Shed divided the car neatly in half and had already painted the other side bright yellow.
Ultimate: the last person to marry. sir! Im going to be a TV weatherman. Doctor: Do you drive fast cars. ef Patient: Doctor. J B uoyant: male equivalent of gallant. Just give him a blindfold. Teacher: Everything you do is wrong. doctor? Is it missing? eee 27 28 . do you think that I will live until Im a hundred? Doctor: Do you smoke or drink? Patient: No. Should I give him a sedative? Doctor: No. B acteria: the back entrance to a cafeteria. dear? Doctor: I think Ive at last cured that Smith fellow. or play around with women? Patient: Certainly not! Doctor: Then what do you want to live to a hundred for? Dogma: the mother of puppies. Doctor: Nurse! Did you take this patients temperature? Nurse: Why.Thats a nice suit youre wearing who went for the fitting? J udge: How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty? Prisoner: How do I know. your honour? I havent heard the evidence yet. every time I take this young mans pulse it gets faster. How can you expect to get a job when you leave school Pupil: Well. Vice versa: dirty poems. ef Pretty young nurse: Doctor. gamble. ooo ooo Doctors wife: Why are you looking so worried. Doctors wife: So why are you so worried? Doctor: Ive given him so many pills and potions I cant work out which one worked.
boasted Fred. turned him upside down and shook him until the coin fell out of his mouth. ef Is a drunken ghost a methylated spirit? J J J eee Mr Bloggs: Darling. I accept your bet. Insurance salesman: Surely your husband needs more life insurance? I mean. But try as he could. Are you a doctor? No madam. But what did you want all the other creatures for? asked the pet shop manager. On the way home Fred shook the bird and shouted: What do you mean by keeping quiet? You made me lose a ten to one bet! Dont worry! squawked the parrot. replied the middle-aged man. too. I was thrown out of my flat this morning. but Ive managed to get two free ice creams this morning. I know where your mummy is. 29 . 30 eee The frantic-looking lady came rushing out of her house into the street and cried: Help! Help! My young son has swallowed a coin and is choking. Shush! whispered the little boy. Then well have a good laugh about it and go on from there. and I want a third! ef Fred at last could see a way of making a fortune. I dont know what to do! Everyone looked the other way. You poor little boy. ooo M ummy. I know where she is. 18 rats and five mice. Im from the Income Tax Department. sir. And my landlord says I must leave the place exactly as I found it. what would you do? Mrs Smith: Id probably get a pet dog instead. but it tastes like dishwater. if your husband suddenly dropped dead. Mummy! Where are you? cried the little boy on the promenade. At last he felt ready to cash in on all his hard work. Go on . Tomorrow youll be able to get fifty to one. Fred was unable to make the parrot talk let alone tell jokes. Oh. All right. but we can only supply the mice. Mrs Bloggs: How do you know? The young man walked into the pet shop and asked if he could buy 387 beetles. replied Fred. replied the young man.Estate agent to young house-hunting couple: First you tell me what you can afford. Well give you ten to one that your parrot cant tell us a joke. to tell jokes. said a small girl. I dont know what you put in this soup. found her young son. jeered the pub regulars. thank you! cried the lady. Come with me and Ill get you an ice cream and then well go and look for your mummy. said an elderly lady. and took the parrot down to his pub. except for a middle-aged gentleman who rushed into the ladys house. This is my incredible joke-telling parrot. Im sorry. after month of hard work. He had trained his parrot.
it isnt. shouted Alberts mother. Youll be late for school. Teacher: No. protested Albert. But. Well. Certainly. . Herbert: What were they selling? Customer: Waiter! How much longer do you expect me to have to wait for my poached salmon? Waiter: Im sorry. I want to stay home. raced in front of a speeding car and forced it to stop. A heavily built policeman got out and walked over. sir. . the teachers are terrible. than you can with a kind word alone. Its Horatio Xerxes Laertes Idomeneus Aeneas Asclepius Iphicles Menoeceus Memnon Philoctetes Tyndareus Hylas.Hilary: Youre the first man Ive ever said yes to. the more we drink. But I dont want to go. the thirstier we become. miss.Al Capone Wealth is like sea water. he replied. then looked at his notebook. Youve been a staunch Socialist all your life. youre forty-three and the headmaster of the school. eee eee Teacher: Mavis. taking out his notebook and pen. Mavis: But. miss. Customer: Then can you assure me that youre using the right bait? The police car. G et up. replied the driver. Ive said no to lots and lots of men. replied Alberts mother. But why? asked his puzzled friends. the same is true of fame. Id rather it was a Tory that died than a Socialist. In fact. and its all extremely boring. but we are trying to hurry it up for you. please? asked the policeman. February has eight letters in it while May only has three! A lifelong Socialist was dying when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party. You name. officer. its siren blaring. would you socket? 31 32 . The policeman thought for a moment. ooo You can get a lot more done with a kind word and gun. All the kids are horrible. shook his head and said: Ill just give you a warning this time dont break the speed limit again. The shortest month is February.Schopenhauer ooo If a plug would not fit. can you tell me which month is the shortest? Mavis: Its May.
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