The Economics of Dog Worship

By Elton Camp A dog is an economic parasite To let him continue isn’t right Why, there are even those Who buy their dog clothes And a red bow for the dog’s hair Though colorblind and can’t care Medical insurance they even try A thing many humans can’t buy It should give us all chills The size of dog vet bills If all of the dogs were eliminated An economic drain would be abated They wouldn’t have to be wasted In China, they could be basted That way, get some money from them The balance of trade thus to trim If any dog in this country stayed, By its owner, a tax should be paid When such development occurs, We’d soon be rid of mangy curs Of this need let the president know Perhaps he can then make it so There are thus so many reasons why It is best for all that dogs should die

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