A Closed Window Of Truth

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A Closed Window of Truth By: Leonid Basin Seven Years of Growth

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Published in United States as a collection of poetry © Leonid B. 2007 Second Edition Poems are the copyright of the rightful owners. Printed by Lulu.com. Leonid, B. A Closed Window of Truth No part of this book may be reproduced in part or Whole in any other medium without written permission.

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Acknowledgments When a person decides to write a book, he might have one or two people whom he or she wishes to thank, but I have several people who I wish to thank. First and most importantly, I would like to thank my parents for bringing me here from the Ukraine and developing me into a young man. I wish to also thank my grandparents, friends, my uncle and last but not least my girlfriend Alyssa with her continuing effort to be at my side throughout this process. At times, I have felt like giving up, but it has been her valued support I cherish so greatly which has pushed me to go further. Thank you all for your support and continued belief in me.

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Table of Contents
My Mother When I see you I hear those damn voices Suicide Sunday I am a deadly Sin When I write Slavery Rose is not what it is called A song that keeps moving Proverbs that touched the time of glory Pondering Prisoners What if tears can walk and talk Feeling lonely because she left Mystery blinded the soul of the devil Beaming death Speaking to my savior My days are numbered The moonbeams Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Let it happen Is this a Dream or Reality Sharing my knowledge Accomplish things I sat there alone once Metaphors pictures Promises should be broken Thank you mother and father Pleasure is what I hope for Called unknown Do not know if I want her Empty carton crumbles Hunger I feel Demon pulled a trick to never exist Ghost Cities Fallen Sold my soul to the devil (But) Caught into your beauty After the accident Emotional Doubts

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Visuals Curiosity is Golden A butterfly flies Time is what we have to deal with Seven Seas Mystery Love Reaction Vampire of Freedom Devil Near Ya Testimonies Holding Pillow to ease the pain Water Soars and Water Falls Surrounded A mind 101 Vampires Different Thoughts in One Starry Night As I write Parents Why Do Arguments Happen A Life without Your Queen Villanelle - Beneath the Skin Invisible Visit Confused and Sick in the Head Danger is calling Awoke to Speak of Political Gain It's the Controversy I see the future Bleeding Feelings Agony Body What if she kissed Changes (Haiku) Last Good Bye Move Closer I held her Close To me Carmelite Skeptical Mind Beautiful one I want to dance Fountain of life Kiss the fire A Father Step Away From TV Momentary Silence Just Silence Verse 2 Marriage to the Propaganda

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Deeply Rolled Started Over It was the End Are my feelings I made it so (Deeper Meaning) Never eyes of nothing Gazing Eyes Cherry Blossoms Grandpa Grandma Conclusion

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Introduction It all started a decade ago, When I picked up the sword, and scribbled something on the walls Did I feel like Moses, writing down the commandments of GOD’s words Might have been a pleasure enacted Sure, I felt the fire intercept And Lighting stroke my brain cells into unique form Then I began to write for days after that Words just flowed smoothly from the tip of my tongue Before I could speak, I could write up a nuclear storm It was like a passionate connection that ended on the other side of the moon As I write this in the back, secluded corner of a coffee shop I grind and welcome you to take a seat Because once you begin, you will not be able to leave The words in this book are not only my stories, but they are your stories as well Put together to embrace To touch and guide in dangerous times It is my goal to help you spark the fire That is hanging by its limbs underneath your satire Let us begin from the beginning of how I used to be And gradually move onto where my life is taking me You might be amazed, but will not want to leave Because all of this stories span 7 years of my life Therefore, take a sit and pay attention You might learn a thing or two about Mr.Leonid That will give you a spark to write your own story That you can share with me over some hot green tea

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My Mother You, Moms are a spectacular women, in ways that are not found in any other. Your warmth and love gives out true beauty. Not, just to me But too many people whom you come into contact with. Each passing day, I pray to have you in my life. You made me whom I am today, which I can say is a special one. You are my shooting star, through winter, fall, and even summer. I can keep on this description of how well you made my life to be. Nevertheless, I will not . . . I will not stop. There is no need of this poem because I will do anything I can to make our love burn bright.

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When I See You When I see you, my mind skips into evolving beats . . . I stagger to catch my breath . . . But loose the touching sensation in my body when I see your face . . . Upon my waking moments when I get out of bed . . . You are the only thing on my mind . . . My mind is on twenty-four seven and you know who is on my mind in that mind of mine? Take a wild guess . . . It could be you or the person next to you . . . It might mean certain things; I might not describe them truthfully . . . I might even hide and not connect with you in the second of our arguing moments, but sometimes we do get into bitterness storms . . . But do not you believe that my love for you is not deep as my heart that produces trillions of pumps a second in my heart . . .

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I hear those damn voices I hear voices, many voices . . . In the dark and in the thither night . . . I hear voices damn those voices . . . I hear them through the night . . . Voices in my head, voices in my ears . . . Voices in my brain . . . I hear those damn voices . . . Damn, damn voices . . . They are cluttering my mind . . . They are cluttering my feelings . . . My emotions . . . My desires and wants . . . I hear the voices oh, those damn voices . . . I hear them in the night and I hear them in the day . . . The voices dagger through the brain of unshared moonlit sky . . . Inside my deep memory . . . Which transcribes into voices . . .? Of not hearing but hearing them comes . . . Moreover, hearing them go as they came and were gone . . . I turn hands of time . . . Moreover, put time to shame . . . No matter the complex rhythm . . . My mind goes insane . . . The purity . . . Is so divine . . . The melody . . . Is to die for . . . But truthfully . . . The things I write are magnets . . . Combining the earth in tombstones . . .

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Suicide Sunday It is a sensation; I am not talking about putting a gun to me My brain incinerates and my focus is miles away// It’s no longer a choice now, but it once felt good to elevate// I’d feel free as a good dance// And alive myself of bad memories entering a state of a trance// But I’m stuck now// The word lays in my heart and saturates// My souls like a slut how it dabs in two worlds managing to slip away// I know I did this to myself when I got up that day// But it never helps seeing these skies of gray// Undeveloped rhymes of unknown times// Heat of power is the universe of gravity// Lyrically undeveloped spits hitting you harder then fists I clinch// Powerful fire I burst from my mind// That burn you faster than the unknown key to a girl’s heart//

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I Am a Deadly Sin Starvation of filth that binds the soul of grief . . . You killing me with your words you speak off . . . I am a deadly sin . . . Trapped in the misery of my father . . . I am untamed by my mother . . . I am controlled by my father . . . I am the unknown general machine that speaks in tongues of gratitude . . . I am not wealthy nor am I poor I am in the middle of the cycle . . . I am like an inscription of background of the state of mind . . . I am unique but held back . . . I am torn by real friends and enemies . . . I am put down by my feathery words from my enemies . . . I am scribbled in the bible "The Mystery Has Just Begun"

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When I Write Sometimes When I am afraid . . . I cry . . . I hide under my mom’s skirt, pray aloud, and ask why . . . Maybe I feel that I am condemned for the demons that follow me wherever I go . . . I feel the walls are turning on me . . . I feel that they are pushing in the boundaries And the feeling of being free is ending . . . I have all these feelings and nowhere to put them other than writing … That is why I am writing and telling you when I feel afraid, I do not want to let go of my mom’s skirt . . . I Just want to hold on to the last memories of the past … I am feeling that someone is pulling the chair underneath me and I am falling in disgrace. Maybe it is just GOD wanting to teach me a lesson or it might just be I might have failed . . .

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Slavery I do not know what to say, I see pampering, electricity, that blows up like blasphemy. I cannot control stanzas, which capture my mood swings, to the left-handed misery. Injecting that hand that used to fly, under the moon lit night. I begin to realize, that it was not what I had in mind. I cannot picture, things being said, nor bought. I can only tell you that I was sold to the slavery of the promise.

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Rose is not what it is Called Rose is not what it is called beneath the moon under the stars// It is a highway gateway through blazing speeds of lighting. Striking your existence to touch upon the beautiful face of her hidden beauty// You are her// Hiding away in your own zone// Of complexity// Hoping to escape through my body of connectivity through love making// We passionately engage in flowery delight of feelings// It’s the a blazing scenery of visionary statistics of questioning our feelings// But it’s not a game// That I will play// It’s the moment I will turn your tears to happiness// In one single bound of glorified moment of symmetric astral projections// Of pleasure///

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A Song that Keeps Moving In gravity control// My mind takes its toll// Provided by the light at the end of the tunnel/// Kicking rhymes to lay out a little perplexity// Enchanted through visual stimulation// It’s like a nerve sensation// Stopping my beating heart at the end of it all// It’s a miraculous story// That keeps on moving in a passed time// Up holding my words, like metaphors to learn new things// It’s a passionate genes of my own satisfying beat// It provides my lyrics to anyone who feels it// And if you don’t well release the tension that is bottled inside of you// It’s not going to go on long but just know it’s in the song// A song that keeps moving all day long// It’s a real emotional beating of evolutionary claps// Or revolving mastery// It’s programmed in you like a revolutionary war// It’s molding the hearts and picking up dust// It’s turning sideways, in 90 degree angle// Of voluptuous agenda//

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Proverbs that Touched the Time of Glory Proverbs provoked to touch the timing sight has and then brought to its knees in order to trace the time of, glory, It is the purified soul that gravitates for attention It’s the normal stance that teary eyed can’t compare, But touched the breathing hand that beaten you as you held me closer then I was held before, I am getting watery, And it is nothing but a game you say, But then I spoke your name in vain and sparked the plug to boil over, To your name, will they speak again? Or wait to let me begin to fall, It is not a holding smoking hall, you see the future, But not want to touch the star, It is beneath you and then really far, You release the faith, Because I am the one to blame, you say, But I escaped their game and have tried to make my own stand, I breathed supernal fire, that was locked in the read between the lines, But then regrouped and started all anew, Because I was called and I have spoken, And even stood to breathe the ultimate crystal proverb that was given to me when I was brought into this world, We call hell.

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Pondering Ponder onto a world, which is unknown to a mysterious magical being.... I suffer from longitude of believing... I am expressing my thoughts that combine cynical connections... Fire burning through my veins like pure ecstasy of fire... Burning for my desire... I in need of something new to comprise my energy upon... My handshakes bewilderingly for her hand . . . Wanting to touch her sweet strawberry hair . . . That makes me smile without despair . . . Injecting the core with purity of gratification of my moving pen . . . Circular rotation of pronunciation of intoxicated red rose . . . That gets spread out through the hallway like a sweet Mozart gentle tune . . . Humming the magical song inside my mind . . . I cannot believe I can fly . . . Up in the sky . . . Like a free bird in the sky . . . Hoping to touch upon a soul . . . That connects into my brain like a voluptuous pain . . .

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Prisoners Equipping paper clips dangling through electric foam of my own tone// I am barring the minimum of existing the instance// Of hating the system// Of unbarring hold of zones// This is not a cold war but a hot vote of number picking the gravitating purpose of getting rid of those// hateful thighs between the distant lines// Stop lying to yourself because I lied to thy self// It’s not a norm but a propaganda that locked your agenda that held your lock on the prison cell phones// That evolved through sporadic gadgets of memories// Stopping the nucleic acid from sporting the jackets of slavery of toppings that bare the maximum exposure// of hated races over the world// It’s nothing but a complexity tone that covers up their tracks like 15 min of// fame from astral projection// of// Hateful enemies at your door//

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What If Tears Can Walk and Talk What if tears can talk? What if tears can walk? But words never are spoken What if rhythm flowed through tears of joy? What if pleasure did not bring pain? What if we all become insane? What if we could see GOD? Would we shake to death? Step back, and began to shake Than release the intake Than breathe the air Moreover, release the intake Because it’s death brought all over again

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Feeling Lonely Because She Left On my knees I am...I am shedding tears I Plea . . . Feeling lonely because she left me . . . Thinking back to the times that were and was . . . What a feeling of true bliss . . . She made me happy . . . Now it is over . . . Moreover, my life goes down the drain . . . Her lips on my lips brought music to my ears . . . Like an intoxicated wave of happiness that runs through my body . . . Her eyes are amazing I cannot stop staring . . . They shine just like diamonds . . . Her hair through my fingernails runs widely and smooth . . . God I miss her more than anything I care about . . . I am shedding tears they drop like falling rain . . . Is God listening easing the pain make me new again . . . I hope she understands she was my angel . . . I hope she realizes that she was my… The angel and she made me happy and made me whole . . . Now that my angel is gone . . . Its darkness down my road . . . What is the point of all this . . . Maybe it should be over . . . . No more pain, anger, hate, depression, love, happiness, soul, And everything in between . . . If it were over now there would be no more of that . . . So why am I still writing this poem... I AM STILL IN LOVE… And now it is over and my life is darkness . . .

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Mystery Blinded the Soul of the Devil Kicked in the screaming rage, the mind is reputed into a backstage of hate// I am dissecting the virgin marry of the baby who holds the key to leak the penetration of Nuclear// Exploration through the eloping stance of truth// It’s a tie game of kicking annotation between the nation// Through the secluded power station// I hold the barring in the underworld escalade stance// You be changed the melancholy of my dreams// In order to trace the beams// Of lighting through escaping sighting// Of magic// Releases of my own final opinions// I hold the untying conversations that we once possessed through nostril surrender of my Giving away my// Own right to hate// But not breathing to escape my own following GOD// It’s a demolishing view in my sighting truth// That Kick screams the barricade of exclusion principle of a finding never land of magical Stanzas around// Your verbatim sightings// Those sneaker kicks you bought in your sleep from selling your soul to the devil that finally Led you to end// Your life//

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Beaming Death I see her . . . My emotions are prescribed to glisten . . . My feelings are meaning to listen . . . My heart keeps beating . . . My liquid tears are dropping one by one . . . Red, white and blue . . . My feelings thither my heart skips . . . My drums beat . . . My feelings drop . . . My thumb is numb . . . My heart stops . . . My mind destroys into self that sinks to death of my feelings to stop . . . That is when I stop . . . That is when I stop and drop without a trace in sight . . . Complicated a rhythmical mathematics stick harder than leaches… In the injections of the morning pain… After you, grieve for the lost friend… I cannot stand the loss of torture’s embrace before my head hits the pillow… It is like a venom rocking stature that complicates the thoughts of my composure… I am feeling like a victim here. You should feel this way . . . No, you should not… Why these feelings convert to my existence is known to feelings of my unknown . . . It is like a feeling of the beloved exposure of the living pain of hell… When the mind is unspoken like a true living soldier of realizing the pain of my exposure… The time ticks and slips from the fingertips of stopping the beaming light… To come into contact with the founding pen of the moving wrists… You beaming peace I am beaming death… And it is that… That keeps the beaming of the breathing soldier friend… To breathe no pain when he is gone . . .

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Speaking to my Savior Today is filled with anger and today is filled with hate, my love for deepness rolls deep inside my breathing, heart, I pray to my savior I do not know who he is or when we will meet, but let me tell you something, I am begging on my knees, To reach upon him is my fate, And my life is full of fluff, Sometimes I do wish on something, Therefore, I must have a wish on something that will guide me through that burning open door, I hope you hear me God and hear me when I speak to you, Because when I speak like this, I do not speak like this at all, I just want you to reach to me and touch me and lend a helping hand, I thank you for all you have given me I share it with a smile upon my face, Don't you worry Savior I will be your leading man, In anything, you need to be taken care of, On this world, We call earth, And I am the man to call upon so, Call on me, Call on me, Call on me,

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My Days are Numbered My days are numbered I am on my knees can’t you see// I save myself from discounting fate// Because I begin to become free// I wish upon the stars above my head they do shine freely/ I hope to achieve much success// In everything I do// And when these things are telling me no// I will push myself further// I will catch upon the burning fire that binds my soul through hardships of all eternity// I have a plan// I won’t tell you now// Or speak upon it at this moment, but know that it’s a deep one// I hope to accomplish many things// With each breath I take// I sweetly congeal myself, in thy self// Because I am locked beneath the doors of heaven/ I want to wish for something more// But I just can’t I trapped you here// I keep knocking but no one hears// I tap again, but no one sees// How much pain I endured// And even though I know that some people have gone through much more pain// I can tell you mine is deeper than what is known to man// I do not feel like a human being but another specie from somewhere long ago// I feel not just as an old man but a flying object// That soars the world through all his journeys// I hope I did not confuse you// And I hope I did not make you sigh// I hope I proved my point to you in all my trustiness of my own self pity//

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The Moon Beams The moon never beams without bringing me dreams of that wonderful mother of mine, You are sweet gentle spirit, Your warm tender ways the laughter, Moreover, love that you share, If I searched the world repeatedly, I would never find a mother, who would even compare, You mean so much to me that I want you to know that you are always in my heart no matter where I go, You are always giving, always there to help me in anyway the loving things you have done for me, I never could repay, I cannot imagine what I would do without the love you have given me, I will treasure your sweet heart of gold as long as I shall live, When I was young, you helped me grow, and taught me all I had to know of love and trust and faith and, hope, and everything it takes to cope, You may have thought I did not hear or maybe that you were not quite clear; but all the things you taught to, me were needed very carefully, Now I want to thank you for your love, your care, And hope for you to have a Happy Mother’s Day!

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Part 1 I hope for pleasure but all I get is pain/ I am feeling engulfed in my own existence/ Of the dangers game of death/ I am breathing fire/ That secludes the mind of many oceans/ It’s like a linking penetration that links the connectors into the upturning sighs it’s a visual mind that/ collapses/ Into a blindfold tears of hate/ I am feeling this fate/ I am walking on the dead rope of a slicker slip of intoxicated opportunity/ I am feeling abided by my own rules that follow me wherever I go/ even in my sleep I feel Dead/ I don’t know who to pray for anymore/ I prayed for GOD and I must say, those childhood stories that GOD saves the world has Passed// I am a smarter person now/ I don’t believe in fairy tales/ I don’t believe in anything that is reality/ Sometimes I question my own existence/ I even question if I know what love is/ If that someone special came into my life would I know/ Or would I just let it slide right through like a messenger of the taking away death from Existence/ I am holding tight, but bare to find out the truth soon/ Maybe this is the ending of it all/ Maybe I have questioned many things and asked too many questions/ Maybe just maybe no one can answer it/ And the only way out is for me to slide off into a world that is on the opposite side of the Spectrum/

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Part 2 Opposite attracts is what they used to say/ Well if that is the case/ How come I am turning away from myself/ And trying to get rid of the time of continuum/ How come I keep on suffering and not realizing I am just not seeing the answer, even though I question it/ trillions times a day/ the answer must be hidden beneath the tool shed behind the mysterious door I was close in opening but did/ not reach far enough to get a full grip in order to pull it right open/ This can’t be it/ I just know there is more to it then I have experienced/ I have lived 20 years going on 21// And still it seems like the same shit hole of a life/ I mean I have improved in many aspects in myself/ And I am proud of a few/ But I have fucked up millions if not eternity times more then I have succeeded/ I like her surely that is true/ I might even love her truly that is real too/ but I don’t know sometimes/ I am Afraid to love/ I am afraid to feel pleasure for someone/ I am afraid I will scare her away/ And she will run away without me/ I need her/ Maybe that is a sappy maybe it’s corny/ I just feel like she is the one/ Oh, lord how my heart has lied before/ How do I know this isn’t that one time/ Never have I loved/ Because maybe I didn’t want to/ Was afraid to do so/ But now I feel like/ no/ Scratch that/ Now I know I have what it takes/ But that is just one piece of the puzzle we call life/ What about the second part that will connect our exploration into something I can’t even describe/

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Part 3 Oh, man what is this feeling that keeps running with me side by side// I never usually do this// And speak to the whole world how I feel about someone// But I don’t know maybe I should stop and maybe give some people a listen into my mind// Someone might learn something// Or at least I hope someone high above would listen// she is just amazing// Between the lines// She is above them damn lines// You put something together// And you can’t take it apart// Because it’s so, strong it will tear you apart// Her smile just firkin gives me a tingle in my whole damn body// Never has this been achieved before// To young you might say// And to be honest with you I might agree// I might even shout I am not worth this// Pleasure// That is so, called love I mean honestly I can’t picture myself// Being something that isn’t something// But being something that is going to be something// Her lips are so beautiful and honey moist// That bees not only fly through space of galaxies to reach her// They just never have never left the scene// And when my lips touch her lips// I go into something that can’t be described in words// But should I try// Maybe I would give little tingles of this so called feelings// When I touch her and she touches me// I Feel like my heart not just skipped a beat// But my heart has not even landed yet into its place because it’s skipping oceans// That horizontally can’t decline because it’s vertically sublimed to shine// And when I touch her hair// It smells so natural and pure// That I just get this heated cheeks that just won’t go away// It’s like a freaking red nosed reindeer except it's in my cheeks//

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Part 4 Can I describe in intervals how these feelings connect to her/ I do not know if it’s possible it sure seems predictable/ But it surely isn’t real/ It’s what we create/ Creating your own reality is what they would say/ Have I believed this truth/ And set my mind free/ To stay afloat is my misery/ To provide the truth and find out the lies/ I am holding her Inside my heart/ I can’t this feeling’s die/ And she might leave oh she might/ I will mind because she was the first one/ This feelings are real/ And this has been a proven fact/ Through tears and joys and bearing of my own child/ God are you listening is that your real name/ Have you sent me this angel to take care of me/ Is this her/ That I have been asking and praying for/ If it is/ Let her stay by my side/ But if she is fake/ Why give her my heart/ Therefore, she can break it. Is not my choice to let it happen/ I just need this to be real and let it be true/ I am a simple man/ I ask one thing/ I need a damn angel can she be it/ I don’t know how to ask or what to say to her/ So, I guess I am going to just brake it apart like any other day/

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Part 5 So, I sit here/ Waiting for her phone call to come/ Will she do it/ And I will find out if she is the one/ Will she listen to my plea/ Or would she take a step back/ I am not knowing but I sure wish she would take a step up/ This will heart if this isn't real/ Because I let out all my feelings / To conceal my emotions in a little diary that she is for me/ She is something I just can’t describe/ And every time I do/ I lose track of time, it's nonexistent because I can keep going for another eternity/ I am falling/ I wonder if I can get up/ I have been asking this question multiple times/ Will It happens/ Is it going to be true/ I won’t sit here alone/ I am hoping to sit with her too/ Not holding a candle alone in the room/ Writing this poem/ So I can move somewhere else/ I will sit here alone/ Not by myself/ I will plea, but I won’t beg/ If it’s the choice she has to make/ And I will be holding my pillow to see what her answer would be/ So, like I said I am sitting here alone/ Waiting for that angel/ To come home/ To me this is not questions/ It’s something I dread and morn for/ And I am living and hoping for it all/ To come my own reality/

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Let it Happen Let the tears droop slowly into a vicious tear that I am crying for/ Let rhythm seep through my veins, like skittles taste the rainbow/ Let my misery, relieve its self through aching pain/ Let my solitary confinement open up to a beautiful face/ Let these unbearable hands hold you close, without you saying a word/ Let my words heal the wounded and lead the blind/ Let my troubles, calm the oceans and rivers/ Let my pleasure not suffer but communicate suffering/ Let my mind perplex questions that will never be answered/ Let this hate leave my body and travel out into outer space/ Let these eyes, get lost in your eyes/ Let these lips touch upon your lips/ Let all this whatever you feel come out because if you let all this bother you/ You limit yourself into nothing/

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Is This a Dream? Or, Reality? That is how I felt the day before yesterday, Her eyes told me more then I wanted to know, The hair that looked like luscious wonders of the universe, Where did she come from? God sent her to me, To make me happy and for me to see I don’t have to cry no more, I can take her deeply into my arms and hold her for as long as she would like, Am I dreaming? Am I awake? Tell me dear GOD is she real as the Angel that was sent to me from heavens, above to make me feel that I belong, To hold and be held, To come together and become as one, Universe of Passion and regret thinking I can have a girl, So precious and so pure like the fur of the Lion in the jungle, Again, I ask myself am I dreaming, It has to be this dream; it is too perfect for me, Can’t be real, I open my eyes and now see that all of this was just a dream that I longed for, I must be stupid to think that I can have a girl so perfect like the angel from heaven up above

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Sharing my Knowledge Provide the reincarnation of the melody . . . The mind is producing beats of grieving streets . . . The miracle at work into delivering the word . . . I am praying to the Lord hopping he is listening . . . My mind is up heaving into a third dimension state . . . The feelings are scattered . . . The thoughts are bothered . . . I am injected with asperity to lead the troops lyrically . . . While the beat plays the symphony, it creates electricity to equip the mystery To a spectacular state of horror . . . The performer is golden as the kid on the microphone is holding . . . The leaving thing is breathing as if the mind is easing . . . To stopping the drop of the beat of its time . . . I try to speak . . . Is he listening? I am not grieving nor complicating my mind with worries . . . I am just trying to contemplate the enjoyment of the creation of his words . . . I am trying to encounter the words that belong . . . I am trying to find out if I am worth it . . . Are my feelings complicated towards the honoring him . . . I am still lost . . . Nevertheless, I look up and see a dark tunnel turn to light summer . . . Will I ever turn free, to run away, is my emotional history I run from things I do not despair to face, However, I want to thank her and take her in my hands to embrace. I wonder if she feels the way I truly feel, I wonder if this is true like my hands that touched her sweet gentle harmonic sound of the waves that hit the rocks in the sandy beaches of tomorrow, Or today! I wondered and still do wonder will I turn away and run, To the mistaken world of the eternal solitude or would I do things to turn them over like pancakes in the early morning, I most likely would if you were the one. I wonder if I want to get away, Or die right here and never breathe another feeling of my wound. I wonder if I ever wondered, If I want to fly, Away or lay right here, Beside her bearing face. I wonder if I want to feel her face, Upon my left, hook eyes of the gateway to heaven, Sitting near, Is the only way?

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I feel to gain the full control, Over passengers’ door. I wonder when her tears roll down her face does seasons change. I wonder when the feelings become purified in the moonlit night Do things happen in lavender rain? I wonder if things do happen for a reason. I wonder when the things do happen will I be the last surprising guest In the night of my own glory in the night shell of this life, I call passing time. I grieve for a new beginning. I want to start over. I need a helping hand. I honestly cannot complain I do not know what to do. I just wish tomorrow that I would start anew.

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Accomplish Things I try to accomplish things that bothered me in the past . . . but I believe my mind is equipped with gas . . . I stagger and fall down into the hell of eternity . . . it does not matter because I am breathing the reality of my own truth . . . I sit alone but do I mind? Hell, Nah… I like to be alone sometimes, because I am at peace . . . I feel that my mind is free and my breathing is peaceful . . . I don't understand sometimes, when things happen . . . people tell me things happen for a reason, do I care or take that as a meaning of truth… Sure, why not it comes from my parents… I Never stand tall when knowing I am wrong… I just know I am not free because I feel locked . . . I feel stolen of my own identity . . . can this be a trip I suppose it could be . . . but will I figure this out, before someone calls my name . . . Probably not . . . I suppose I will crumble in the time of my own mistakes . . .

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I Sat there Alone Once I sat there alone once, and hoped for something to come into my dreams/ Of treating greens/ Glazing into outer space/ Was one of the goals I had reached upon my arrival/ I sat there once/ Baring my soul to the naked torture/ Of eating away followers/ Who followed I was not a known mistake/ Would they follow is something I will never face/ Concrete holds the barriers to my opening closed eyes/ From crying blood full torn to grieving to escape/ The walls/ Of encompassing enemies/ It’s a holding treasure/ That minds my soul and lets it be free/ I sat there once/ Did I tell you that before/ I sat there/ Alone/ But sat there with two other beings/ Alone/ I Say’s I sat there alone/ Unknown to follow/ But pleaded to get onto my knees/ To plea/ For forgiveness/ I stood there/ And then sat there/ But laid there to sleep/ And woke up cold and bitter from the horizontal lines/ Of distant land/ I sat there alone/ With someone who knew me/ But ended up knowing no one / Alone/ because I sat their lonely/ Feeling this/ Loneliness/ To know someone is to escape your own reality/ But to care for someone in eternity of ways/ Next to love/ Is priceless/ But damn to hell I sat alone/ And wondered can I call this my home/

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As I sat there alone/

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41 | P a g e

Metaphors Pictures I paint pictures to describe metaphors that transcribe blurry lines . . . I convey my images to words of equal opportunity . . . I try to produce verbal stimulation . . . It can really dig deep down inside you . . . Make you rethink the possibilities of the future . . . I am equally explainable to pronounce the ideas of the human mind . . . I stick the ink inside the thoughts to create emotional feelings that swim inside you like symphonies, I am blissful to hold the appalling truth . . . The key I hold is meager to a protective explosion . . . You touch it, lick it, and squeeze it . . . It might even open . . . Without the knowing compassion I bring . . . I withdraw into my dreams . . .

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42 | P a g e

Promises Should Be Broken I do not want to worry about enemies nor applicable promises. I want to understand my promises. I feel enchanted. I feel I am ashamed of my own self. I feel that I yearn for that helping hand. I honestly promise myself. I would not shed a darn tear. Nevertheless, you know that is just promises. Sometimes. They should be broken.

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43 | P a g e

Thank You Mother and Father My life is pure and grateful . . . I have to say thank you mother and father… You made my life true and real… I know we had our difficulties… I know we had our arguments… I know we had and had and had some more… I do not mind it at all… I speak these not through crying tears… I speak this through a smile that lights the darkest mountains of the world… I am thankful for everything you have done… I hope I made you proud… I hope when you think of me… Only thoughts of joy and laughter come about… I know I have given you sometimes hell . . . Trust me I know have … Understand it is not for my likeliness of doing so… I just wanted to be heard… I know you hear me… I understand . . . Sometimes I thought you needed to hear me louder… I will stop… However, I will not drop any tears of sadness… Only tears I will drop will be of joy… Why? Well, I do not really know how I can conjure words into melodies… To tell you how lucky, thankful, and blah, blah, blah I am that you are my parents . . . I truly am… I would die for you, fly for you, dance, sing, and stab myself for you… If that is, what it is needed to prove my feelings and thoughts that you are in my life? I thank you from the bottom of my heart… What you have done for me . . . And still do to me… I can keep on writing… Expressing myself . . . I just know it will not matter… I know that you know that I know . . . I love you… I love you is not enough… It does not really express the way I feel… I will stop here… And let you hear me whenever you need me… I will be there… Anywhere you need me . . . I am there… I love you both oh…

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So deeply… LOVE YOU! Mother and Father!

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45 | P a g e

Pleasure Is What I Hope For I hope for pleasure but all I get is pain/ I am feeling engulfed in my own existence/ Of the dangers game of death/ I am breathing fire/ That secludes the mind of many oceans/ It’s like a linking penetration that links the connectors into the upturning sighs it’s a visual mind that/ collapses/ Into a blindfold tears of hate/ I am feeling this fate/ I am walking on the dead rope of a slicker slip of intoxicated opportunity/ I am feeling abided by my own rules that follow me wherever I go/ Even in my sleep I feel dead/ I don’t know who to pray for anymore/ I prayed for GOD and I must say, those childhood stories that GOD saves the world has passed/ I am a smarter People now/ I don’t believe in fairy tales/ I don’t believe in anything that is reality/ Sometimes I question my own existence/ I even question if I know what love is/ If that someone special came into my life would I know/ Or would I just let it slide right through like a messenger of the taking away death from existence/ I am holding tight, but bare to find out the truth soon/ Maybe this is the ending of it all/ Maybe I have questioned many things and asked too many questions/ Maybe just maybe no one can answer it/ And the only way out is for me to slide off into a world that is on the opposite side of the spectrum/

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Called Unknown I hear things roll… From the numbness of my tongue I dagger the purified soul… That intertwines… Through my own vibration of the beating drum… That heats… Up the waves of the fortunate events… From happening, through distance of lines… That keep me asking questions and not really finding answers that answer things that I want answered… I hope to things that will interconnect with doubting lines between the direct lines… I hope this ridicule will leave my body in a millisecond and if no such things happen… I hope to lay here silently alone, not alone by myself… But with my thoughts that go through my head like waves of oceans… It really wants to connect to something bigger then it was and is… But it just cannot run away from them, such things are many things… Some things are blind things… Nevertheless, they all do run… And when I ran after it… I never was able to achieve success… So now… I wait and wait once again . . . For this something that will come and pick me up on a magical carpet ride… “Called Unknown”….

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Do not know if I want her I don’t know if I want her// It’s like a puzzlement game// Of chess and mouse// Connecting boxes of thoughts that circulate the mind of gone less soul// I am tearing my insides from large intestines to small intestines// I am holding onto the barriers of not opening up my heart// To heart// But realizing I am doing so, slowly through the so called mysterious mystery// That I was supposed to proclaim of myself// I am falling against my own heel// Would I get up and start anew// That is the question that will bare upon me like a fetus in the tube that has been brought into This world of// So called life of pain// Is one word that would describe this place// I am hoping to hold onto something before I start stumbling down that damn slope they call lonely river// Palms// You getting my drift of that disliked personality that triple stabs that shit into a co wardress position// It’s an invariable programmatic propaganda that locks itself into your core// Of dominatrix// Of suffering/// Call this ropes of hell or call this hate of pain// It’s a gone less thought that staggers into my daggering heart//

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Empty Carton Crumbles I crumble with the slip of my fingers, as I penetrate the empty carton that steps between the limitless blows// Upside the pavement// I definitely cannot figure out the empty hole that stops the heartbeat of a baby’s heart// But I can definitely release the tension that injects into the core, of my opportunity// You might think to yourself// What is this person speaking about// I might repeat myself// And concentrate on the emotional progression; I need not to speak from the moving pen of the moving// Wrist, but from the openhanded caskets that slips// Under the microscopic microtone flips// I am flipping my bliss, in reverse of premature stanzas// That brings peoples to the dangling knees of mine, is that a feeling// Alternatively, is that a fault, not in a writer// But in the person that poses a skill, that intertwines with flees, you dig, the majority of things that you see on// TV// Or when you read this are you blinded by the light that I spring open the brain that daggers the cranium of// Everlasting symmetric perplexity of yet another complexity//

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Hunger I Feel Hunger I am feeling depressed as usual . . . not alive but yet not harmful of pure insanity . . . feeling the love coming into the room by my parents . . . just like an intoxicated wave of happiness it begins to take over . . . crisped and grasped of gratitude of living . . . yet believing everything will be all right . . . I begin to ponder on the rain of truth . . . and realize it's nothing real . . . but a dream coming unwrapped . . . I Feel demented and taken by the soul of poverty . . . and then a slacked back into my companionship . . . fears of guilt binds my soul of real reality . . . I wonder if heaven has a place for an insane person of words that never stops writing . . . I am feared to keep on my fight of writing . . . I just think I will never Stop . . . writing to me is like money to most people without it I would corrupt . . . Interchanging things of change that… Describes things that dagger of mystical rivers… That ignites the lighting end…

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Demon Pulled a Trick to Never Exist Greatest trick the demon ever pulled was telling you he never existed . . . When the mind is equipped… The track back is restricted . . . The controllable anger pulls out an AK 47 to blaze the fire of hatred . . . While the heart stops… The soul escapes the body of the fulfillment of stopping its own beat of life . . . It transpires into a darker town of the unknown . . . The imagination is reality . . . Nevertheless, the skills of mine are gray of reading between the lines of stopping the bullet with your teeth . . .

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Ghost Cities Fallen Ghost cities of fallen eating kicks of game ties/ Extraordinaire/ Is the grammatical transgender of lights/ Escaping the purity of the soul/ It’s igniting the laser tag prices/ Equipped to jump step/ To the right or maybe to the left/ Horizontal velocity is closing in on the soar of bitter smoke/ Glued to the television screens, because they are blinded by the heated waves of truth/ It’s the chosen game of playing crabs or shooting Russian roulette/ I chose plenty of seeds that escaped my sore throat of highway nuns/ Of pleasures/ That stayed away from the blaming second comings to violin lessons to the emergency roads, From fallen away viruses/ That touched you upon the entrance of bravery/ For the right to speak your mind about whatever you spoke about at that moment in time/

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Sold my Soul to the Devil (But) Gave my soul to the devil// Then escaped to never exist in the name// Told the devil that I am the one he wanted// Then tried to tell him away// He laughed and tried to grab me// But I started to run// He got onto his horse and began to chase me// I looked in the back of me// As he was riding like a bullet// I hid under the bushes// Did I escape for that one cold and bitter second// And saved myself from getting taken// No No No// It was all but a hidden work of someone close to me/ I thought I hid// But boy was I wrong// I kept on sitting in outer space// Hoping to never trace my steps back to my reality// I held myself deeply// To hide away the pain I caused my followers// Which followers am I speaking of// I don’t have any close companions// And let’s be honest// I don’t have anyone that understands me// I am fudging always alone/ And always will be alone// Let this sip into my veins// And understand my goals in this universe/ I am here to find the golden match// And let it burn slowly in the penetration// Of my own unlocked heart is but a hidden message//

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53 | P a g e

Caught into your Beauty Captivated by your beauty is something I dread for to realize toward peculiar obstacles that Capture the// Feelings I bring to you through my vibrated veins, of feelings// It’s an emotional killing feel// That obligates into some glorious touches that kiss you lightly// In order to stop the heart beat of my own heart// You are holding the magical key// To the heartaches of mine// But you saving my soul from sinking to the bottom// It’s my pleasure not pain to offer you my hand// To take you away on a mystical ride of our own play written game of love//

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After the Accident Evicted to listen my mind is equipped with incision/ My floetry is emotional like feelings of healing/ I am breathing the fire/ Deep down below my waist line/ It’s like an overdrive battle through magical beings/ Fighting for affection of the beloved for a meaning/ It’s an interesting companionship through verbal emotions/ It’s full of oceans that brings the devotion to my own eyes of evolving promotions/ I am stopping the eyes of the old geezer watching me/ Because of this liability I am standing outside of his own blame/ Because I will be the man who this geezer will blame/ LOVE TRAVELING FROM WORLDS TO WORLDS is a kidnapping escape that gathers the attention of/ side views, of many strangers who gather between you when you get into an accident/

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55 | P a g e

Emotional Doubts Felt the emotion my mind started forming . . . into emotional state, it is boiling . . . senselessly . . . and without a doubt weak . . . on my knees I Plea . . . heartfelt . . . because I lost my dear . . . I am begging the lord to give her back to me . . . so don't get near . . . get away… And let me shout . . . I want her back . . . but no longer is she with me, . . . she is well on her way . . . to unite with her true love . . . I am heartbroken . . . and without a trace . . . I tranquilize into my unburden field of hate . . . I am trapped like a lion . . . a tearful painless steal of hate . . . drops like an embrace of fate . . . the spate… Healing my wounds . . . Of freedom and choice, got me going and living in my cocoon . . . praying and living and writing my emotions . . . Through my pen and a notepad . . . it heals me truly . . . There is no doubt I cannot stop . . . I will continue circulatory movement of my pen . . . In different rotation, I commence . . . soulless . . . And beat up without a heart inside my Body . . . it's bleeding loudly . . . I remembered this was all a dream . . . I have awoken from it . . . and I see . . . Her beautiful face next to me . . . staring sweetly into my view . . . so I take her into my arms and kiss her gently . . . and sweetly… and I begin to weep . . . the happy tears start to form . . .

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and drop one by one of emotionless movement . . . into the happy grin on my face . . . And we giggle and snort together . . . we romantically fall asleep . . . side by side . . . without a doubt . . . she is the one . . . without A DOUBT…

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Visuals Divided by the serenity of the pleasure/ Enchanted through visual stimulation/ Of sensation/ It’s like a creative vibration/ Of my secluded nuclear space station/ I grieve for power evolving doors/ I It’s like a miraculous tour/ I explore verbatim thoughts / Into feelings of torture/ Days keep ticking and my heart is still beating/ My love for you is still deep as ever/ My memories of you will never fade from white to gray/ My feelings are true Father/ For you there is nothing I would not do Father/ You push me in directions/ Which sometimes I must admit I am scared off/ I do not mind though Father/ Why Father/ Because I trust you Father and love you Father/ I love you with every second that takes up the whole ticking clock/ I will love you until the end of time/

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Curiosity is Golden I speak from out of curiosity . . . I am locked in . . . I feel delighted to breathe . . . I do not mind the passion of the release . . . I am conquering the words of power . . . I can later translate its essence into a rose of red blooms . . . And be reunited with the glisten of her lips . . . That deepens my smile . . .

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A Butterfly Flies When a butterfly wants to fly it comes out into it is forming a magical world/ And spreads itself into something greater then it was before/ It soars through the negative planet like some angel that flies high above the sea level/ Realizing nothing can swipe him down to earth/ I wish someday I will be that damn butterfly flying through and under all parallel or vertical to sea levels/ And just never get swiped down by none of the negativity that we have here in our society/

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Time is what we have to Deal With Time is a thing that we all had to deal with… I am shy to ask you to the prom… Day in and day out… I am finding a perfect way to ask you… It is hard for a person like me to find a friend like you… Even though that I know who you are and you do not know, I am… It is hard for me to ask you… I know it seems weird for an unknown person like me to ask you to the prom but… It is our senior year… Time will pass faster when we leave the common surroundings… Into new places… Where we have to adjust and adapt… Friends are something that all human beings need… I wish that we could look past our unknowing self… So, let us get to know each other well enough… So that you will be able to go to the prom with me…

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Seven Seas Mystery Seven Seas mysteriously combined to actuate the meaning of seas . . . Adding seven to the ending of seas… Which incorporate itself to a meaning to breathe . . . One sea has to believe in only me . . . Two seas are living free Third sea is believing in you and me… Fourth sea is loving thy self as you love thy self… Fifth sea is to forgive . . . Sixth sea believes in GOD as he believes in you . . . Seventh sea is truly real and true . . . My mind is made up… Believe in everything GOD gives to you . . .

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Love Reaction Chemistry reaction/ Love is truthful/ Love is pain/ Yet love is kind/ Not knowing the engraving, the pilot, fight/ I am breathing, painfully/ But eating, dangerously/ Hopefully/ You won’t be bitten, by a rattle snake/ It’s the dangerous, soul/ Leaving, your body/ In autumn, dream/ Yes, freely/ No, not lightly/ But dangerously/

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Vampire of Freedom Darkness falls, beneath the killing/ I am fleeing, over the bodies/ I am breathing the flames/ The guides me slightly/ Cannot deny/ That kick and scream/ It’s a melancholy feel/ But eats/ And beats/ The breathing stop/

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Devil Near Yea Nuclear exploration is provided by visual stations/ Held a knife to your head just to please your savior/ I know you are scared/ Because of the devil/ Is near ya/ Do not hide from the fortune/ But believe he can kill ya/ Hold on to the stars/ But blow them very far/ Don’t let this gripping stance/ Come from exploration of ants/ They hold on to the power/ But kill the innocent, victims/ It’s not your own fault/ That you became a sucking vampire/ Of freedom/

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Testimonies Periodical, testimony/ Gathered in smoothness of flirtation/ Its power cord that pulls away your mind from x attracted simplicity/ You cannot gather composure/ But leave your physical testimony/ In the pavement/ Of your sleep/ You blow up like flees/ You gathered yourself, in momentum like historical, past that blew up like gas/ Gather your own verbs/ Which connected your nerves/ That got you to go insane/ And then breath ultimate fire/ That burns deeper than your own satire/

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Holding Pillow to Ease the Pain Held the pillow and eased the pain of lighting// Stroked the vein// And it became the whipping cigars// Slowly injected into the brain// And told the doctors I am insane// Heaven or hell/ Holds the key// I won’t know because I am not feeling free// Begged, to kill/ But found out I needed to go to sleep/ Ending the foundation of the painful, sleep/ I concluded, I do not belong// But painful stars, begged to differ to change my directions// Did I want to flee, or stop in my own tracks, and become instinct// I do not understand, but I am feeling engulfed in comfort// Still breathing glass// But feeling desire/ Promise, the fire, will burn// Until the last bolting strike upon the pavement// Engrave, in the stone, of the electricity, that will kill my insides, but burn my ashes// Let them burn and fly, freely// Because it’s been said, good die young, maybe this is my time// And maybe it’s my choice, but promising and wanting it// Is what I swore, to go on for// It’s over, now// I am getting weak// So pull the trigger// And release// It’s the opportunity// I wouldn’t miss//

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Water Soars and Water Falls There they fall, faster than water soars// Plain and simple// Yes, the water flows/ Mountains/ Through the darkness tall// Kick the meaning, of the peace, keeping light// It’s a darkness, sight// I am not aiming/ At the almighty// But playing with the fake// But eating, your cage, of pain// You breathing, the pain// Or feeling the danger// Yes, I bet ya// It’s the soaring, screams// It’s the emotional, hate// But engaging, drive, that stops// Not even close/ Yet really far// Don’t you worry I am coming// To you// Not stopping nowhere but near sided// Hold, the horizontal, key/// But feel the beat// Not beat of my drum// But dream of my bump// In your ears// I am relaxing// While you chillixing// I am endangering// My own truth// From hiding// Beneath the attic/ It’s the acting that makes me want to leave// In front of the paparazzi// Or in-between the lines// Hold, and then be held, beneath a moon, or lighting strike// Thunder roars// In your backside//

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Surrounded Profound vision is around the corner… Surrounded with four walls… Without escape or touch full memory… Of my past… Or future… Writing my words on paper like a… Machine calculating rhythmical melody… Of historical facts which stimulate the mind of a vampire… That sucks not just your blood but emotional feelings of human nature…

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A Mind A mind so clear it can slowly formulate ideas from scratch… And produce the pure satisfaction of formality that is locked up beneath its stairs of truth and lies…

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101 Vampires Standing alone without a holding hand/ Or loving hand/ I am alone/ At last from those/ Memories that/ Surround me/ Like 101 Vampires waiting for their desert/

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Different Thoughts in One Excluded by environment of society while I stimulate my brain with excluded play I execute anyone/ coming… At five feet of my body touching me// Execute each verb with my stimulation of a proving ceremony while I see darker corners closing in to// electrocute my brain from intelligent formula and communicating with the outside world/ I hit the rock bottom with a second of approval by higher being… Entered the most prestigious mind on the planet, which means you cannot help it but follow the// Leader… The poetic saying of excluded killing bees performing dancing tricks of postures equalities/ Winning the heart of my mystery date is sure an approval of my generation and not just my calculation but/ also my assumption of my brain calculations… Yet far apart is where I would be but thinking unity is not yet reality but ejection of pure satisfaction// I perform beautiful rhythm of electrifying rhyme while I reject the venom price inside the close-minded… civilians who cannot see the future of relaxing creative mind at its toll of time// Take away my most defining soul underneath it all is where I hide my treasure, which brings me pleasure// in… Order for my pen to keep on moving to perform the art of stumbling and the following pictures// Of… Perfect master pieces//

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Starry Night On the starry night, my mind was locked… On the day, my heart passed… I did not give out a sigh… I just questioned my motives… To something, I lost when I was gone…

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As I write As I write, I pretend to know/ When I abide I pretend to see/ When I desire something in return of a million/ My eyes close like a baby that just came out of a mother/

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Parents I was a boy so young and curious about society/ Life has taken my soul from me/ I can’t move on I cannot breathe/ In solitude trapped beneath the coldness sorrow room under the night sky/ Over the mountains/ I will follow my leaders that is my parents/ In the footsteps of my parents/

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Why Do Arguments Happen Why do arguments a cure? Does peace really exist? Or does life gotten a new name? A name? A real true name? A symphony? A spirit? A morning Pray? Or shining bird? That soars high above the sky? The question? Did it already end? On the other hand, did it just begin?

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A Life without Your Queen A life full of happiness and enjoyment… Cannot be sweet without your queen… A gentle mixture of emotions sparkles in her gleaming eyes of beauty… Her walk might be normal but her smile is cute like a sweet little tune produced by the pianos of a formula… I will go on with my writing no matter if I am not producing sweet words of a spoken mind… You will see the formulation of words appear to create something sweet… That can turn this girl into a sweet gentle tune…

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Villanelle- Beneath the Skin My hearts life is over I am scarred of death Beneath the skin, it is slower/ My kicking screaming fetus Breathing lighter voices Beneath the skin, it is slower/ I hope for death It becomes reality like the one I dread Beneath the skin, it is slower/ I run from noises I am hoping for heartbeats Beneath the skin, it is slower/ While compassion takes over Nevertheless, life is ending Beneath the skin, it is slower/ I am bleeding in time But stopped in a moment Beneath the skin, it is slower/

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Invisible Visit Double the visit that becomes extinct it is a leach that runs invisible… I am hearing a concert in my head that strips away the moments of the extreme… I am a paint on the wall… Interconnected to speak to aliens, I am binding the soul from dunking over my… Head… Because it is a proper communication tool with me...

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Confused and Sick in the Head A paper boy confused as he stood still// A lady in white promised to appear// I boxed myself between the rocks// And hoped to angel dust I would escape the promise land// I started to sweat and with time on my side I ran my hands through intoxicated waves// I split a second bong so, I could go back into my dreaming land// A red chicken with spots of hazel ran across the street/ Confused I was, but did not give out a single peep// Check out the time, between death beds is the name I played// I played the game they called death// But then promised to candy flip all of my angles// I say on this day, I will start anew// if you let me breathe the air of light// I am a newer person can’t you see by the look into my eyes// I know you can’t because my eyes are closed// I am laying by myself now// because I see no more light// It wasn’t my choice to go// But the play righter said it was over// I have to obey my bosses command//

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Danger Is Calling Danger is calling// Phone is off the hook// While the blind men is pulling// My trigger is shooting// I am eating the kills// But breathing the light// Engaging the flames// Because they are burning to bright// I am uncontrolled// From erupting the stones// That was thrown// But forced to sneak clones// Boring, death// But death is watching// Breath is blazing// Like school is firing// Hallways are empty// While teens are persistent// But life is emblazing// Because it's over the mountain// Far away from fountains// So, don't ever stop// The hunting// From forming above///

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Awoke to Speak of Political Gain Awoke to impeach the political glory// Pronounced to debate// On the low metaphor clown// He walked into the coldness bitter smoke// Hallways deep, snow laid, calmly below the zero degree of heat// He dangerously hoped he would hold her head to his beating heart// He couldn’t recognize her tears, because they have been burnt into crispy icicles of pain// He couldn’t bear to see her face, so he ran as fast as he could into the shining tree of snakes// Hiding underneath the garment, is a mystical, potion// It up-heats itself numerous times over and over again// You won’t recognize her face// Even if you wished to do so// In any dimensional time of our agonizing body//

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It’s the Controversy Different circulation, bothers the temple, of the controversy, of the moving pain// It’s the breathing killing// Bothering your name// In the glance of freedom// I kept saying kill him// But you are breathing shame// Upon your name// You stand alone// But underneath the hall// You are moving free// It’s the controversy// Stood up, to hold the key// But flashed the light to engage into a dove of free// I beat on your chest as it was a drum// It’s a heating waves that has begun// To stand tall before the rest is the ultimate supporting call// Of the wilderness dance// In our romantic stance//

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I see the future I see future/ Plans of forming flowers// It’s the engraved/ Love potion/ Implemented/ Into the spring of autumn zone/ Colorful, yet blurry, from the left and right side/ Have to look at it in a central angle/ It is the only way to escape That magical, wave/ Closed/ In the casket/ He slipped/ Away from universal lockage/ Of prison plays/

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Bleeding Feelings Holding the barrier is like escaping the penetration// In the glowing stance, of above the law// Proven facts, beaten your arms, underneath the stars// You were ashamed to be a spoken dime// But then it became death, that was bothered by non-stop sign// You engaged in an upper scheme light// I am bleeding feelings, and you bleeding air// I am eating words, but you feeding horror// I want to get away, into a place which is known// Meaning, of death is unknown//

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Agony Body Agony of her body drops tears of spoil// Its electricity that brings the foil// Told the over extra strings to pull the head right open// Caskets burn the sensation of the coil// It’s the folding sockets, in the eyes of bleeding red// Pure foundation, of the soldier’s chest// Beating heart, the everlasting tops the gun// It’s the beating thought that burns deep in his lungs// But she breathed his burning candle// Lit in the afternoon and not in the evening// Shells drop from nostrils gun// It’s the producing, power that has begun// He stopped from firing at his friend’s heart// But before he could do it, his life has been ripped apart into one//

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What if she kissed What if she lied, and kissed that man in her dreams… What if it brought her pleasure… But, for me it brought pain… What if he turned around, and kissed her back… What if she loved it and they eloped… What if she desired his lips on her lips… What if I was blazed by a burning bush… Would death occur in my body… Would she continue the kiss, if he kissed her first… What if it did happen… And… She made me believe that it never existed… What would my heart tell my mind… Would blood clot, get stuck in my heart… Could I breathe one more breath… Would I get on my knees… Get a gun… Put it into my temple… Click, Click…Click The damn thing would not shoot… Would I give up… Or would I continue to try… Click…click… click… Then out of nowhere… BANG… BANG …BANG…

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Changes (Haiku) Interchanging things of change that… Describes things that dagger of mystical rivers… That ignites the lighting end…

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Last Good-Bye Since my last goodbye, heart skipped beats into a dimensions time// Grieve took all over my mind, body and even my broken heart // Never did I question, the words that you dedicated to me// Symphony played like delicious ecstasy// Pain is a non-existence sign// Stop or push your life forward is the question that has been asked before// I stand there silently, opening my arms to your heart// I catch it slowly, and lift it slowly// Run with it, like happy drugs that gives me a high// I am enchanted in your beauty, that you hate to despise// Don’t you give up love, the message is written in a code// Only you can figure out//

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Move Closer Minimum surprise, extra elegantly put// Emotional flow of the words fly// The key is the golden globe// That creates ceremony of happiness// Meaning is exchanged through passing eyes of truth// You are not alone, just thinking so, is not true// Words are an amazing, connection// Through worlds of non-existence// Believe in yourself, is the real love of truth// Danger is not real, just make believe// Worlds collide, like pain strife’s// The nerve ending of cranium// Is like feelings of care// Just forget all your worries// And move closer to me//

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I Held Her Close To Me Held her dearly… Life is taking her purely… Satin speaks through ESP… It is a faithful game of pleasure… Yet, you are not sure where the pleasure lies… Do not hide it between your thighs… Release the scriptures underneath the garment… Therefore, you will not leave the faucet running freely… It is a beginning of her silky skin I treasure… Because once it has gone… It has gone forever… Simply glide your hand upon her waking lips… Kiss it lightly then release the tension… Let your heart beat as one, two, and three… Then count back to three, two, one… It is an intertwined, connection of wine through Jesus… Love is real, but she does not know it exists… Do you simply crave, and ask for her honey hand to touch upon your belly… When life is not going well, it is not her pleasure to speak to you… She rather leaves you empty handed and let you deal with it on your own… Patronize the golden receipt to life, is all I have gathered… But you are underneath its powerful progression is something she treasures… So… Let your head drop lightly onto her chest, so then you can dance to romance… You will fall asleep sweetly, into the morning dawn, then all you will say I have definitely won her over…

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Carmelite Carmelite of the kangaroo majestic, It is the place I am beating The eating, the teasing Not fighting but believing To exist In the controversial world Of licks and teases It’s the visionary guided by the Lights of the torn away clothes of pain Blot full tears of joys Come down to the frontline stories Of kicking, screaming baby mothers It’s the fondles that peace of The mind cannot nor ignore It is staring at your door Will you go away, or plea on your Hands and knees Begging something up above To forgive you for fleeing Under moonlit sky You might not take Flight but choke on the ink font That backstabbed your side view Of magical trail stars up above

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Skeptical Mind Skeptical mind keeps dragging you And myself into time Wanting to turn the hands Of signs into decimal ties I am begging on something that is greater Then its perplexing snitch Who keeps on breaking down the lively hood TVs? That keeps the ticking bomb from beating on The tomb of lies Keep the distant major from myself Because of this emotional breakthrough I am not able to gain insights into the future But hoping to hold the hand of the card Is the point I am willing to make When time comes When minor skeptics keep ticking The bombardment of the drum Will I call state of emergency? Or let this sit in and take over

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Beautiful One Thinking to differentiate The hated limelight’s It is the controversy of the captain sword fights It is the dangling cranium on my belt of aquariums Through liquid and stains I am eating the blame Not being careful is to blame The head away fate But breathing the uncontrollable eruptions Is the memorable progression That escapes tones Through cell phones It keeps on flowing smoothly Like waves of passionate, introspect It is the smearing regret That stomps into your forehead That never ends the tunnel vision of cycles That goes in the outer space Never to trace the beaming fate But envelope to outer limits of romance Under the stars While looking at the beautiful one

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I Want to Dance I want to dance. Forever I want to dance with the love of my life. I am feeling encrypted to that thought of love. I might stand

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Fountain of Life Fountain springs my life gleams... My feelings transcribe real feelings... My feelings describe tethering thrilling… My hatred is unbearable... My life is incredible...

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Kiss the Fire Kiss of fire… Is like enchanted desire… Feeling transpired…. Into regular sexiness… My emotions unstoppable …. Like a nuclear power plant… Then verbal plants elevate into my memory of problems…

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A Father A Father is a person/ Who is always kind/ And often he knows/ What you got on your mind/ He will listen/ Even suggest/ A dad can be even your best friend/ But when things go wrong/ A dad can be patient/ And even helpful and strong/ In all that you do/ There is always a place for him/ Deep in your heart/ And you are always glad/ Just to call him your dad/ Thank you Dad/ For listening and caring/ For giving and sharing/ But, especially for just being you/

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Step Away From TV Empty halls ending journeys never-ending turns, Turning wide, when I was awaken I was, turning from side to side, I had weird dreams, it lasted for days, it felt like days, But then something perplexed my mind to go into an overdrive, it’s like a moving storm, Hit me down below my waist line, I was hit and my body started to shake, not in a simple moving pace, but in a type of shake, Where people would bleed out of their eyes, I was afraid, because when I was in that shaken era, I realized I wanted to just stop everything in between, but I could not because something was holding me tightly, something was screaming in my ear, Something just kept that tickling and unbearable touch that did not leave me, I felt alone, not alone when you lose things in life such as your girlfriend and your car, Hey. That’s all the teenager needs in this life, RIGHT? But when that shit gets taken away, you will too, feel lonely and not wanted, Nevertheless, I felt just weaker and weaker when that shake kept on going, I wished for it to end, just like how I wish for the end of the world to come along, But yet. I still keep waiting… I keep on waiting like some little kid who wakes up on Christmas morning, runs down stairs to open up his presents and finds something cool inside so, cool in fact that it can make him brag in front of his friends but, Yet it was not something I desired or even needed . . . It was something that was just blah . . . Like a blob on paper . . . Just a blob… That you sometimes see on the television . . . I do not watch much TV . . . But you know for all the people who do . . . They are trapped beneath the hidden bin . . . And even though they are pushing with all their might to escape . . . They cannot, the lid is so much locked down . . . That no matter what strength and help they have . . . They cannot let it free I keep on shaking in that not desirable shake I keep on feeling some glistening lights, which keep ticking and breathing and continuing to go around my head like things you see on TV . . . And even though I go back to the television In order for this shit to work . . . I still tell you . . . Step away from the television. And just breath this escapes will make you not just see . . .

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From different angles . . . But make your breath . . . Fresher air maybe this was a time machine . . . Who made me not escape my game . . . But blame my own self . . . On such game . . . Even though what I said did not make any common sense . . . I know I was able to release this tension with pride . . . And not really look back and ask if people read that line . . . And even enjoyed it . . . Because I feel that I do this not for thy self . . . But for he and I kept shaking . . . He was going into shock . . . He could not take the pain. So, his last chance . . . Was… The plug was pulled . . . He turned opened his eyes . . . Then . . . He realized . . . He was sleeping in his own damn blood . . . Had many people around him . . . Asking and questioning . . . What could have caused this . . . And you know in all reality . . . What you think now is not what happened . . . Because it is a trickery that keeps on bickering the light that you cannot touch the sight it is a puzzle that keeps on connecting with riddles . . . That keeps the cord plugged in . . . It keeps on going like intoxicated waves . . . Of bliss that fulfill the love . . . That keeps on taking you apart from every single angle but you know in the end . . . You will get beat down . . . No matter how hard you try to succeed, this puzzle will keep on fighting . . . You are not fighting for anyone in this society . . . You are fighting for the unknown . . . That is what makes this metaphor connect the dots . . . In a circular congruency . . . Of my enveloped state, it is my own exit . . . I keep on walking but I know you will be talking . . . So, keep on speaking . . . Talk . . . Develop . . . And just breathe . . . And reminisce . . . Let it happen . . .

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Let it flow . . . Like the words, I just released . . . That is what you do . . . You let it go…

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Momentary Silence Words daggering momentary silence Vision overseen to enchant the beauty Through words that slip under radar It is uncommon law, which is misused Feelings are never the ending journey Just, the feelings that were never spoken Just a Remembrance of trying to give in But, Forgetting to step forwards and start anew

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Just Silence Words never dagger the liver proactive Words never spit so, hard i am active Rhyme never flowed so smoothly free Attack of the clown is what it used to be Sitting by the window staring in the night sky Wondering why, I never could spread my wings and fly Wondering if GOD ever existed in my dreams No answer just silence In my room alone at night Praying on my knees for someone to hold me tight No one came, but my higher self I regretted to speak to him, because I was scared Then he put his finger by his nose And silenced my skipping heart, from going out of control Shaking in bewilderment is what it came to be Hiding under my bed, because I did not want to see He came up to my bed, and sat on his knee Telling me, I should not be afraid He is just a friend of the lord, and he did not come to hurt me Only to guide me, and mold me A smile came upon my face, and my heart gave grace Coming out of the bed, with a smile Glad, that someone did not make me wait a little longer Because my mind was skipping beats However, my mind was in a therapy and I wanted to release I came close to his face, and then sat on one knee Hoping that I can share some of my deeds

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Verse 2 Look I did not want to cry, But words are tearing me apart, And I do not know why Would you help and lend a helping hand Or let me burn, in my ashes before I can break on to be free Hear me higher self, and do not be afraid It is not something I want to share It hurts deep down, in my spine Feeling the comfort when you listen to me for a little while Let me cry on your shoulder, But, please don't be afraid I am only trying to gather my thoughts It is the only way I can start anew So, sit on the chair, and listen to my words I am speaking loud, and shouting even louder Help me as if no one has ever helped me Because I am deep down in the hole And you are the only one that can mold me back to life

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Marriage to the Propaganda What bring out the lyrics Beat the drum in the underlining staggering light Lights camera action, undisputable silences Screaming virgin marry, tomb in the thoughts Thinking while putting a finger to my lips Squeezing the tricks for the last penny Propaganda is plenty Everywhere lights shoots Camera rolls Deep bellow my waistline Feelings described to beat the drum Acoustic guitar Played that motionless thought Just to prove a point In a existing reality That proved to be worthy That realized you just stuck in yourself Being afraid of yourself Is grave of secluded enemies By yourself, is the middle name that you play Screenplay that you wrote Is non-chillan way to described silence that should not be spoken Just blood flowing River ocean waves of passion unite Glory of GOD is a given insight Into his mind of a white bearded man Is my opportunity never to exist in a beloved land What if I made a mistake and began to feel doubts Bush yells virginity is what they are after Big brother watching Cameras rolling Lights are showing You are flowing My words are slowing The traveling egg Comes out of the womb Before it's eyes see It starts to scream In the secluded empty halls Of direct sun light

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My guitar tune played a sound Does that mean I will continue to be popular In none existing worlds That is outside of 4 by 4 It’s a jeep that gives me the rocky road slide On my knees I glide Like the virus, that attacks the insides It is propaganda in my eyes You cannot see but it is being buried Televisions are on the replay Digital cable boxes watching you While you making love in front of them They moving their eyes like drug dealing crack fiend Telephone is worth it Is what they say However, they do not know it That cancer is one of the most dangerous diseases Its ok you say Feeding of frenzies is what you rather have No diet, just words that are spoken From mouths, they are provoked Everyone talks But as you know not everyone walks How do we rep the insides When I come inside I would like to be inside my wife And that was my last goodbyes

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Deeply Rolled Tears never rolled so deeply into one Purity so divine when I got my dear behind my back Feelings are strong, like dangerous battle zone Soldiers fighting with non-existing weapons It aint a real war, just a sacred religious war Her words spoke to me On the phone, that night she spoke to me Sharing he thoughts her views her wisdom truth I love her, before I even met her Knowing she was the one, before she retraced the steps back She was on my mind, and I never retraced my words back

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Started Over Never have I questioned my tortured soul from burning bright In the night sky, it burned deep in my rear view Words never proclaimed to beat under the sky, Just visions of statistical purity, divided in the snow light Electricity flowed, through my nostrils like intoxicated wave of pain Passion ignited the veins deep in my heart, Releasing the power, that powered my desire To clean up my act, and start all anew Life is a never-ending journey and I became all anew

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It was the End Every night I sip blood of pain Grieving in secluded dangerous tone Words spat in patterns deep Veins spat metaphors in my silence sleep Cruising into the moonlit night Never did my feelings feel so right When danger controls my tone My patterns never showed The love that is fake Tears that is posed to feel Never granted to be real Hold on and let me retrace the wisdom Following the saxophone tone While the musical zone Controlled my uncontrollable thought I never was laid to sleep that night Just on the phone with my wifey thinking about The future Will it come true, or shoot bricks Like words that were spat in my silence screams Yielded to start anew, when my girl said I could be true To myself, and no one else’s thoughts It is how I became a man That night while chilling on my bed My life took a sweeping right turn And then become the end

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Are my Feelings Blamed from the childhood hours To blame myself to be a non experienced boy With that talk this night, I became a man Feelings and emotions described in lines of depths It's magical explanation that have foregone into the hall of fame Words are real like blood in my veins Heart skipping multi million times a millisecond Truthful misery cannot be controlled Therefore, she sat there silently While I blazed my emotions I laid it on her doorsteps And she did not step back Does that mean she does not mind? On that phone, she said she did not mind That means my feelings for her are real

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I made it so (Deeper Meaning) Born to reign in the never ending pain/ Glory unified to hold the key Pain is a suffering pain of glee Let me touch her and let me breathe No more touches nor forgiveness Because I have become the witness To the murder she wrote tonight In the autumn cold of the night Until the rain poured loudly in I looked in To creep on my tippy toes I did Because the fantasy I had to relieve Don’t you worry my darling girl You are safe with me Do not be afraid of some pain Do not blame me when you go to sleep It was not your time to go However, I made it so

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Never Eyes of Nothing Addiction is a crime that never sprints to care Nor blame my mind to pay attention It’s a never ending game of connections Between the tears that never cried to feel Blame me to not care for you, Nor see you happy as can be Torture grows deeper in my eyes From days, you told me never

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Gazing Eyes Gazing upon my eyes of true color beauty Never dimmed to hide my eyes away from grace It’s the foundation found in someone Before the guns are pulled out to draw The name was used not in proper manner So, let us relax and have a talk Sit beside me without the violence It is a better half indeed it's shameless Like the briskly business in the evening day Why don't you lay down beside me Let me caress your body in a movement of a song Therefore, we become a single note incline to connect Without the foundation that I mentioned in the third line before It would not be a simple formula that would be solved You must hide your eyes away from sadness But share your thoughts with me everyday So, we become a unite that is one and only It’s the real game I only play

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Cherry Blossoms Lemon cherry blossom space In the darker skin I mate Breezing through the unity divine Like a beautiful story on the decline Complexes to speak but never seen Her Stand there so silently before My eyes gazing through her skin Like a patient x-rays in the dimed room Before my eyes looked array Melody was never played until the night It settles in to speak her name Nevertheless... Stopped the breathing yet, again An emotion plays no games indeed Just happiness it wants to bring So, open up your arms of April day Because it is his birthday so, let us lay in bed and mate

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Grandpa Nothing else can compare, to the happiness I find, In the comfort of my Grandfather That is the warm and lasting kindA love that is based on caring thoughts And gentle trusting ways Moments shared...both good and bad.... And words of love and praise. And nothing else can quite compare to knowing as I do, We share an understanding that will last a lifetime through. Leaves may change from green to gold, The sky from blue to gray, A summer's afternoon becomes a sparkling winter day. People change and places change and times Keep changing too... ...But one thing always stays the same... The love I feel for you So put this in a special place and read it now and then It will not be long until we are in each other's arms again Love You Grandpa

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Grandma Grandma you are a beautiful human being The love that I have for you is real You light up my day more than you ever know Please, watch over me wherever you go You are beautiful inside and out I hope your health will be here for a while You are strong and funny that is true Because honestly grandma you are too good to be true So, please stay the way you are forever more

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Conclusion Just as if great things begin, great things have to end Of course, not all of us want this to happen Nor do we desire to fail I believe all of us desire to achieve much success as humanly possible Nevertheless, let me tell you something, anything is possible As long as your attitude is positive Moreover, your goals are enacted Anything you desire, can be achieved From a single desire Now, that I have graced you with my words And touched your hearts and minds I hope that you will inspire others around you Continue to connect and inspire

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A Closed Window Of Truth

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