Dick Sutphen How to Fix Everything in Your Life at Once | Self Esteem | Sleep

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Increase Energy
High energy is important to all self change. To begin, you must have enough energy to care about making a change. Those who are always tired, lethargic or depressed seldom have the energy or focus to act in their own behalf, which is essential to creating your own reality. So energy is the logical place to begin a book about fixing your life. Although we are all born with different energy levels, there are steps you can take to assure that you are maximizing your energy potentials. As the following 24 points will show, high energy results from factors we can avoid, dietary and supplement choices we make, and lifestyle decisions about exercise and the way we spend our time. The first six energy-increasing tips explore the primary energy robbers.

1. Avoid Lactic-Acid Buildup
Most career work takes a far heavier tension toll than people realize. Beginning with your face, neck, shoulders and back, your muscles tense in response to your workday body positions. Not only does the stress of your daily routine cause you to constantly burn energy, it often settles in your upper body, activating muscle fibers you aren’t even aware of. Muscle tension generates a buildup of lactic acid, causing you to feel weary. Exercise combined with fluid intake can help you quickly rebalance and energize yourself. I’ll discuss more on this later.

2. Avoid Glycogen Loss
Glycogen is the reserve supply of your natural blood sugar which is stored in your liver and muscles. Blood sugar is ideally derived from complex carbohydrates such as grains, vegetables, fruits, cereals, and potatoes. Simple carbohydrates such as candy, soda, pies and cakes will raise your blood sugar level rapidly and then rob you of energy when it drops two or three hours later. The same is true of caffeine in coffee or colas. When your blood sugar drops, your reserves are reduced. High-protein, low carbohydrate diets also perpetuate glycogen loss. And when your muscles and brain do not receive enough of this vital blood sugar, you become fatigued. Dietary changes are obviously advantageous to maintain high energy.

3. Avoid Oxygen Loss
When you exert extensive mental energy for long periods, you often breath too shallow. Upon falling into this undesirable breathing pattern, you will lose your mental edge and ability to maintain concentration and alertness. Exercise or do some diaphragm breathing to pull out of it. Take a very deep breath and hold the breath as long as you comfortably can. Then breathe out slowly through slightly parted lips. When you think the breath is all the way out, contract your stomach muscles and force it

even further out. Then repeat the process. Several minutes of this deep breathing will generate deep relaxation. In the future, remember to B-R-E-A-T-H-E!

4. Avoid Minor Dehydration
You don’t begin to experience thirst until dehydration has already begun. The natural result of even minor dehydration is lethargy and/or muscular discomfort. In addition to filling yourself with fluids, a snack high in potassium is ideal. Potassium fruits include bananas, oranges and melons.

5. Resolve Stress & Tension
Stress not only robs you of energy, it is also implicated in many serious health problems. To learn how to unstress, you have to understand how you wound up stressed in the first place. One of the newest findings shows that the daily hassles of life may have a greater stress effect than the larger misfortunes of life. Examples would be interruptions, losing or misplacing things, too much to do and not enough time to do it properly, money worries, feeling lonely, pressure to perform well, and office politics. Your personality indicates how you react to life’s stresses. Although no one is a total type “A” or type “B” personality, most people are inclined toward type A behavior, which tends to be excitable, competitive and goal-oriented. As a result, the moment we encounter a tension-producing situation, our body chemically prepares to fight or flee. Your adrenal cortex secrets hormones, which in turn tighten you up like a spring. Your blood pressure rises and blood sugar is released for energy. Extra oxygen is delivered to your organs so you can use them in fighting off the danger. Clotting agents are increased in your blood in case you are wounded in the fight. Cholesterol and other fats are released to serve as a reserve energy supply. Many other biological changes also take place, all of which will remain ready for action for the next two or three hours. But you don’t fight and you don’t flee. So this Stone Age internal reaction, originally meant to protect you, ends up endangering your health. So what can you do? Either resolve the conflicts in your life, or learn to live with them. To do either successfully, you will have to change some viewpoints and behaviors that are an integral part of your personality. The best place to begin is, 1) an exploration of your stress buttons, and 2) the acceptance of what cannot be changed. Next, be aware that diet and exercise can greatly reduce your stress levels. (See the “Reduce Stress” chapter.)

6. Diet Can Increase Energy
When you need to be particularly alert, eat high-protein foods such as fish, chicken, low-fat diary products and beans. When you want to relax, eat carbohydrates. The reason is, different brain chemicals are active when you are alert than when you are relaxed. Proteins contain energizing chemicals, while carbohydrates, through a complex metabolic pathway, allows more tryptophan—a protein component that enhances relaxation—to reach the brain.

7. Act Vigorous!
Long hours spent at your occupation or activities will cause fatigue, which is usually noticed as a loss of focus. In most cases, instead of physical rest, your brain needs

physical stimulation to rejuvenate itself. And the best way to quickly increase energy may be to act vigorous. The new psychotherapies claim behavior wags the tail of feelings. In other words, you don’t have to change your thinking to change your life, if you are willing to change what you are doing. Act vigorous and you’ll soon begin to feel vigorous.

8. Supplements Can Increase Energy
A nutritionist, whose office is near Arizona State University, is often asked by students for advice to increase their energy during final exams. His suggestion: take 500 mg. of niacinamide—vitamin B3 (buffered niacin). And take it about 25 minutes before the test. This will open the deep-level blood vessels in the brain, and as result you will be mentally alert and energized for up to an hour. Niacin is not recommended, because it opens all the surface-level blood vessels, resulting in a distracting flush. To generate about four hours of high energy, the nutritionist suggests two tablespoons of honey and two 400 IUs of vitamin E, plus a few minutes of exercise or stretching. The honey is a natural sugar. The E extends the oxygen in your body and the exercise pumps it all into your system. Do not use the E and honey if you’ve been drinking the night before, because it can act in reverse—as a downer.

9. Do What You Love
When you are doing what your really love to do, your energy always increases. We are all fragmented personalities. One part of us wants to one thing and another part wants to do something else. And often these subpersonalities are not at peace with each other. Usually they are involved in a struggle for dominance, and the internal conflict robs us of energy. But there is a time when there is never any conflict; when we are experiencing real joy. So, to integrate yourself, do only what you enjoy. What would happen if, no matter what it was, if you didn’t enjoy it, you didn’t do it? Delegate what you don’t enjoy to someone else, or hire someone else to do it. Maybe all your increased energy will allow you to make the extra money to hire help. How are you responding to this idea? If you are saying to yourself, “What a dumb idea,” you are limiting your options and you probably limit all your options in life.

10. Skip the Nap.
Don’t take a nap or go into meditation to increase your energy. Such remedies may reduce stress, but they won’t increase energy. Instead, you need to generate blood sugar, increase your fluid and potassium levels, reduce your lactic acid and supercharge your brain cells. In addition to breathing deeply, take an exercise break. Do ten minutes of active stretching, calisthenics, jumping jacks, walking, or jogging. By combining exercise with the previously stated ideas, increased energy is guaranteed. Even if you are stuck in an office building, you can walk up and down the stairs for ten minutes.

11. Eat Many Small Meals.
Eat many small meals during the day. Nibble on light nutritious foods such as nuts, fruits, non-sugar yogurt, raw vegetables and salad. This helps some people keep their

Exercise reverses this cycle—especially aerobic exercise such as fast walking. Your nutritionist can best advise you. dizziness. or an exercise class. And he may want to check colon transit time. birds of feather flock together. If you decide to use vitamin supplements. Check For An Iron Deficiency Doctors report that many low-energy patient have an iron deficiency. and recurrent illnesses. hair loss. He will surely advise drinking more water and eating more fiber. constipation or diarrhea. 15. Eating mini-meals also keeps you from overeating at any one meal. You might feel there is no way to avoid such people in your life. or doing busy work that serves no purpose. pallor. adding pounds. surround yourself with happy. Make Major Dietary-Lifestyle Changes . weakness and fatigue. The concept of five to seven mini-meals is also suggested as a way to lose weight. The idea is to make exercise part of your lifestyle—part of your daily life. thus the need to check with a nutritionist. Spending time means you use it in positive ways that serve you. which is ferrous sulfate. but was established to accommodate workers in an industrial age. And there is much more to know about taking iron supplements. heart palpitations. it must work much harder. Develop A Daily Exercise Lifestyle Develop a lifestyle including daily exercise. jogging. poor attention span. successful. 12. successful and filled with energy. 14. Never take iron if you have an infection. before prescribing a way to balance your needs. If your body is sedentary. but the total meals should fulfill a nutritional balance. What is considered a medically sufficient level of iron is often not sufficient for optimum health. each meal doesn’t need to be balanced. nausea after meals. which usually results in an energy slump. use only organic iron called hydrolyzed-protein chelate. You either spend time or waste it. Remember. gas. because it can feed the bacteria. Avoid Energy Vampires Negative people and those with hyper personalities can literally drain your energy. irritability. Symptoms of iron deficiency include anemia. But it’s your life and you have the right to spend your time as you desire. brittle nails with vertical ridges. Wasting time means just that—spending it with people you don’t want to see. The idea of three square meals a day is not based upon dietary wisdom. itching. 13.blood sugar balanced. highenergy people. Not only does your body burn fewer calories. Stomach stretching exercises might be in order as well as the suggestion of additional magnesium and potassium. Without regular exercise. Avoid synthetic iron. Take vitamin E and zinc at least eight hours apart from iron. If you want to be happy. which means poor circulation restricts the amount of needed oxygen sent to your body tissues. The idea is to spread out the same amount as you would eat in three meals. If you eat a series of mini-meals. you also lose energy. your heart and lungs are less efficient.

Consider Your Vitamin Intake There are a number of nutrient problems that can rob you of energy. they can also rob you of energy. what about early morning sex to get your day off to an energized start? Regardless of when you make love. you may be having an allergic reaction to what you ate. or your health-food store can provide reading materials for recommendations. which are absolutely essential for optimum energy. and calcium has been shown to increase stamina. A medical test is the best way to find out if you fit into this category. fruits and 100-percent whole-grain bread.An excess of foods containing sugar and refined white flour will eventually rob you of your health and energy. If it is 20 beats or higher than normal. cereal and pasta products. and how to take it. You need to be familiar with your normal pulse. but be sure to get pure DMG. which is used by many athletes. If you have a dramatic rise in heartbeat following food ingestion. Fatigue is a common symptom of all three. 1) Thyroid imbalance. So consider daily supplementing of the entire B complex. Sexual frustration distracts you and distractions drain energy. or hiring someone else to do some of your chores. reordering priorities. it is likely that it is caused by food sensitivity. Cooking and food processing destroy B vitamins and stress rapidly uses them up. Replace red meat with fish. 16. It is sold in health food stores. 17. Then check your pulse 30 and 60 minutes after the meal. First thing in the morning. 2) Candida—the yeast condition. And while you are checking your general health for energy robbers. Investigate Food Allergies Not only are food allergies responsible for weight gain and the inability to lose weight. Tiredness can also result from a lack of the essential minerals. and 3) Hypoglycemia—low-blood sugar. 18. Fear-Based Emotions Drain Energy . And it goes without saying that you will be wise to stop smoking and eliminate most alcohol. Begin keeping a record of what you eat and your reactions. but the “Coco-Pulse Test” is a way to self-check your own response to food. count your pulse for six seconds and then multiply by ten. Some studies have shown that megadoses of vitamin C help prevent exhaustion. Start Your Day With Sex Consider starting your day with sex. your doctor can offer dosage advice. Eat more vegetables. even if it means dropping some responsibilities. there are three very common conditions that top the list. and only buy meats that are hormone free and contain no nitrates. chicken and turkey. Both are believed to cause cancer. It may also serve you take B15. Zinc is also involved in muscle performance and resistance to fatigue. Again. This is your resting pulse. but one of the most common is not enough of the B vitamins. Instead of waiting until you are tired at night. the idea is to always make time for your lover. 19. Take Ester-C to avoid stomach irritation.

Lack of balance in one area can rob you of energy in the other three. 23. get up. (See the chapter on Weight Loss. and get involved in life. You also know that being emotionally drained is an altogether different experience.” Then replace the negative thought with a positive one. Lose Weight Lose weight if necessary to bring yourself into physical balance and restore your energy level.” Then say to yourself. you may want to explore the concept of thought stopping. If the problem is real. negative begets negative. and you can’t put them out of your mind. emotional. 20. there is a real solution. And if not. Then organize a plan to deal with each one. “Success Opportunity.Energy is drained by fear-based emotions such as anger. blame and the list goes on and on. Cut Down or Cut Out TV Excess TV viewing robs you of energy in numerous ways. say. greed.” Next visualize yourself having what you want as if you already had it. and silently in your mind. Positive begets positive. envy. guilt. You may experience the importance of spiritual energy as it relates to your purpose in life. As an example. which you are capable of finding. So always notice compulsive thoughts immediately and say these words to yourself. Contemplate each of these four areas to see if you are in balance. The positive thinking alone will give you more energy. 22. Organize them into clear statements. Every thought programs your subconscious mind. what can you do to attain a balance? Answers to life’s problems are not difficult when you stop hiding from the questions. If you’re bothered by fearful or compulsive thoughts. This technique assures positive instead of negative subconscious programming. the least being eyestrain. “Success Opportunity. write them down. if you catch yourself thinking. . insecurity. Deal With Compulsive Thoughts Compulsive thoughts can be very subtle energy robbers. hate. A balance is needed between the four.) 21. get out. which generates fatigue. “Every day I move a little closer to financial independence. repression. “I’ll never get ahead with all these bills and responsibilities. resentment. Daily use of self-change hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of increased physical energy. You know there is a great difference between being physically tired and being mentally tired. The final chapter tells you how. physical and spiritual. Balance the Four Kinds of Energy There are four different kinds of energy: mental. Instead of observing life on the tube. They won’t go away until you face them and act. jealousy. If the thoughts relate to ungrounded fears.” Stop. The fears can be resolved through therapy or human-potential awareness. Use self-hypnosis. 24.

Start your day with sex. Resolve stress and tension. Use self-hypnosis. Fear-based emotions drain energy. successful people. 4.” “I remember to breathe deeply. Supplements can increase energy. Investigate food allergies. ________________________________________________________________________ · Affirmations · The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. 6. Check for an iron deficiency. Skip the nap.” “I always drink enough fluids to avoid becoming thirsty. 18. Balance the four kinds of energy. The proper diet can increase energy. Develop a daily-exercise lifestyle. Avoid oxygen loss by breathing deeply. 24.” “I view everything that happens as an opportunity. Eat many small meals. Make major dietary-lifestyle changes.” “Every day I take time to stretch and exercise. “I awaken each morning enthusiastic about my day. 21. 3. 17. 10. Avoid minor dehydration by drinking lots of water. 12. 2. 19.” “Joy is always my best option. Avoid glycogen loss with blood-sugar balance. 7. Avoid energy-vampire people. Cut down or cut out TV.” “I seek to associate with positive. I act vigorous.“ “I handle compulsive thoughts with positive programming. The B-vitamins are of special value. 23. Lose weight. 20. Avoid lactic-acid buildup with fluid and exercise.Increase Energy Summary 1. Do what you love. 22. 14. 9. Act vigorous to feel vigorous. 13. 15. 11. Deal with compulsive thoughts. 8. 5. 16.” “Nutritious healthy food now becomes my lifestyle.” .” “When I want to be vigorous. happy.

” “I am excited and enthusiastic about my life.” “I awaken each morning enthusiastic about my day.” “I am filled with energy.“I project high energy and enthusiasm into everything I do.” .

we use only two to three percent of our brain’s total capacity. 1. the more efficient and sharper your mind will become. The greater the exposure to an environment that makes you use your brain. and they exhibited increased learning skills. include activities such as model building. Scientists report brain growth even in very old rats when their environments were enriched with objects the rats could explore. Keep Your Mind Limber With Mental Activities Good activities to keep your mind limber and agile include language abilities—learn a new one or brush up on the language you are fluent in. waiting only for its owner to discover and use it. However. representing an increase in dendrites. Reading is particularly valuable for sharpening visualization and imagination skills. including increased levels of neurotransmitters and endorphins. speed or . such as puzzles. Keep Your Brain Fit By Keeping Your Body Fit Even moderate physical activity is accompanied by positive electrical and chemical changes in the brain. sculpting. This was true even for rats who had lived in boring environments most of their lives before being transferred to more stimulating conditions. or anything enhancing your adaptability to change can be included in an effective program of mental rejuvenation. The brains showed increased thickness in the outer layers of the cerebral cortex. it atrophies. Consider problem-solving games. Hobbies that focus your spatial skills by manipulating three-dimensional objects. Like other parts of the body. and when the objects were periodically exchanged for new objects. which are natural body opiates. Scrabble® and interactive computer games. painting. 2. Think of what a two or three-percent increase might mean for you. 3. Your Brain Is Elastic Your brain is elastic and it will continue to grow as long as it is challenged and stimulated. calisthenics and other physical recreation showed significant improvements in intelligence. Studies measuring mental function after a ten-week program of jogging.C H A P T E R T W O Boost Your Brain Power Within every normal human brain resides the potential for genius. Even the most generous estimate suggests that we use up to ten percent. if the brain is not stimulated.

This results in fuzzy thinking and forgetfulness.performance. Hunched-over posture pinches arteries connecting the spinal column to the brain. and the preservative EDTA. The proper levels of iron can improve verbal fluency. You will not only look and feel better. lima beans. Why? It oxygenates the bloodstream. sustain attention and increase vigor. Keep Your Mind Like Calm Water Your brain performs best when you are calm and relaxed. dopamine and noradrenline. 8. as well as decreased depression and lowered anxiety. soybeans. Enabling the body to better transport oxygen to all its organs. these disturbances can cause an accumulation of fatty deposits resulting in brief blackouts similar to stroke symptoms. Like other organs. Memory. and vegetarians. on-going tension. Shallow breathing and clogged arteries leave the brain gasping for air. 5. head back and chin tucked in. Properly Align Your Body Stand up straight. because iron is most plentiful in meats and fish. phosphate additives. Build a better brain while using aerobic exercise to build a beautiful body. Eat Iron-Rich Foods If you aren’t getting enough iron in your diet. which turns the brain on and maintains alertness. you need to increase the iron for the same reason you increase your aerobic activities. Iron is an important component of several neurotransmitters. Food sources rich in iron include. 6. tea. and brain function. Iron-poor blood impairs the production and function of hemoglobin. decreasing blood flow to the brain. A 20-to-30-minute aerobic workout produces an almost instantaneous mental life as well. Although your brain can occasionally perform incredible feats while under great pressure. you greatly increase your odds of doing just that. speeding up the nerve impulses between brain cells. and broccoli. some medications. 4. including serotonin. dieters and the elderly who eat less food. learning. Iron is heavily concentrated in the reticular activating system. Iron absorption can be blocked by antacids. you will think better too. protein giving blood its rich red color. attention span and motivation are also positively affected by exercise. Avoid Negative Thinking If you believe that your brain has the capability to accomplish feats above and beyond perceived limits. 7. sunflower seeds. Aerobic Exercise Offers An Instant Mental Lift Aerobic exercise does more than shape and condition your body. The brain uses oxygen to oxidize glucose in the production of electrical energy. In time. At high risk for low iron levels are women between 18 and 44. the brain relies on the blood to provide oxygen and nutrients while carrying away carbon dioxide and other waste products. an oxygen-transporting. . spinach.

Cells also lose electrical-impulse-carrying receptors necessary for information processing. Vitamin B6 is involved in the production of dopamine and serotonin. inability to concentrate and decreased abstract thinking skills. which is vitamin B3. but worry is directly related to physical tension. Eat Brain Foods Brain foods. A deficiency causes irritability and forgetfulness. severe memory loss and confusion. emotional instability and loss of recent memory. Thiamine is needed to produce and use the brain’s major chemical messengers. other good sources of lecithin and choline are cabbage. This results in memory loss and confused thinking. a lack of one B-vitamin adversely affects optimal absorption and utilization of the others. Folic acid is found in leafy greens. lack of coordination. nutrients that maintain and enhance the brain’s ability to reason. Soothing music.turmoil and anxiety decrease thinking ability. 9. Choline also contributes to optimal brain performance by increasing the rate of the brain’s metabolism. such as fish. With B12. In an aging brain. Choline and lecithin are also available as supplements at any health food store. 11. And it is the substance from which the brain makes acetylcholine. can cause depression. A lack of magnesium results . liver and eggs. A lack of niacin. zinc and manganese. Trace Minerals Are Important Trace minerals essential for powerful brain function include magnesium. learn and remember. cauliflower and soybeans. yoga. Take The Proper Vitamins Vitamins play a key role in brain performance and the brain seems to have a special need for the B-vitamins. as well as more severe mental effects such as psychosis. folic acid plays a large role in the brain’s production of acetylcholine—a memory-function neurotransmitter. B12 deficiencies are linked with poor memory. These Bcomplex nutrients have very specific brain effects not covered above. and feelings of lassitude. A diet rich in lecithin and choline can retard age symptoms by stopping or delaying membrane hardening. Because the B-complex vitamins are chemically related and may perform similar functions in the brain. 10. supply lecithin and choline. cell membranes become rigid with fatty deposits and lose the ability to absorb and release brain chemicals and relay messages. a neurotransmitter that acts as a natural tranquilizer. meditation. Ease the tension and your mind will follow. Vitamin B6 is essential in the synthesis of GABA. A deficiency can cause brain and spinal-cord degeneration and is linked with impaired production of brain messages. and progressive relaxation training are useful to achieve a calm emotional state and reduce mental clutter. Lowered levels of vitamin B1 causes short-term memory problems. If you are concerned about cholesterol levels. It maintains the structural integrity of the synapses. B6 deficiency is associated with depression. which are the points of communication between brain cells. deep breathing. It may seem difficult to deliberately force yourself not to worry. Magnesium functions as a natural tranquilizer.

Replace the after-dinner cup of coffee or caffeinated soda with decaffeinated coffee. Your Temperature Corresponds To Your Mental Alertness The warmer you are. establish and maintain a regular bedtime routine. body temperatures are highest in the late afternoon and lowest before dawn. More tryptophan enters the brain. which then produces more serotonin. Use an oral thermometer and take your temperature every hour during the waking day. blood pressure and body temperature. Monitor your temperature over a period of four or five days to discover your own body-heat pattern. Serotonin inhibits the electrical transmission between neurons and induces sleep. Zinc deficiency can cause mental lethargy and apathy. And manganese functions synergistically with the B vitamins to nourish the nerves and brain. but avoid vigorous exercise just before bed as it over stimulates the body. keep carbohydrate intake at breakfast and lunch to a minimum. Chronic loss of sleep or otherwise disturbed sleep patterns affects mental clarity. as well as obvious sources. starchy or sweet foods eaten at the evening meal will produce more serotonin. A high level of zinc has been shown to have a significant relationship to high academic grades in many recent studies of brain function. 12. eggs and cheese. the sharper your mind. aiding in the transmission of neural messages. 13. drowsy feeling appropriate for a good night’s sleep. a neurotransmitter that the brain synthesizes from the amino acid tryptophan. Perhaps most important. which is fine when you want to feel drowsy. During sleep. although individual temperature peaks can vary. milk. soda or herbal tea. Your internal body clock attunes to the daily pattern of darkness and light. such as meat. recreational reading or other relaxing mental outlets you enjoy. the brain goes through a series of psychological processes restoring both body and mind. Practice stress-releasing behaviors during the day: meditation. but when you eat it. affecting heart and respiration rate. Sound Sleep Is Important Sound sleep is a key factor in increasing brain performance. Carbohydrates. Alcohol drinks will upset rhythmic sleep patterns. leading to the relaxed. Avoid having a drink for 30 minutes before taking a measurement as the temperature of .in extreme nervousness and irritability. Protein helps keep the brain alert. cottage cheese. But if you want your neurons firing on all cylinders. A program of regular exercise can help you sleep better at night and may even reduce the amount of sleep you need. nuts and tofu. a hormone that encourages the muscles to pick up amino acids from the blood. Studies show that animals whose sleep schedule is frequently shifted have a 25 percent shorter lifespan. If you suffer from insomnia. When You Eat Is Important You can regulate your brain’s performance not only by what you eat. Generally. A high-carbohydrate meal causes the pancreas to secrete insulin. Post-meal drowsiness is caused by serotonin. relaxed and ready for bed. avoid afternoon or early evening naps. Good sources of protein for breakfast and midday pick-ups are yogurt. 14. decision making and attentiveness.

eating and sleeping patterns are thrown off. memory and recall. Splashing water in a shower also generates negative ions. People feel better and are more productive when exposed to higher levels of negative ions. 16. Ion Ratio Affects Your Brain Brain efficiency is affected by the ratio of positive to negative ions in the air. Avoid Loud Environments Loud surroundings stress both body and mind. then remove it from your environment or take steps to adapt to it. 17. our bodies need to be exposed to natural. Mood and performance suffer when light levels are irregular or too little. If you can’t stop or avoid the noise. increasing breathing and heart rate and affecting attention. Allergies Affect Brain Function Allergies can be responsible for mental fatigue. thus relieving depression and sleepiness. Make a special effort to attain more exposure to natural light if you work in a windowless office. Loud noise acts as a danger signal. elevating blood pressure.the drink will affect the thermometer. use earplugs or headphones to block the sound. Light Affects Behavior Light stimulates the pineal gland. consider purchasing an ion generator. Negative ions are maximized at the sea shore. which regulates melatonin. scaly red patches on the cheeks. 19. Once you identify your personal peak times. continual nasal drip. Negative ions are minimized in an enclosed office environment. or you may suffer from puffy eyes or dark circles under the eyes. you may have difficulty breathing. Any outdoor grass-and-trees environment will increase negative ions. and poor concentration. memory loss. Jekyll and Hyde personality changes can also be generated by allergies. or live in the far north. which regulate your internal clock. causing the body to release adrenaline into the bloodstream. You’ll see a pattern of peaks and dips corresponding to your mental performance pattern. The first step is to identify the substance responsible. 15. or mask it with white noise. or outdoors in the woods. Improve Your Concentration Absent-mindedness can be hazardous. If you are allergy prone. Meditation and biofeedback are especially useful tools in learning to concentrate. tension. Without biological cues. 18. or in a area of endlessly overcast days. you may be especially ion sensitive. This is especially important during winter when the days are shorter. so if you feel a lot better in the shower. dizziness. you can take full advantage of them. as well as hormonal and neurotransmitter release in the brain. Cluttered surroundings can lead to a cluttered . full-spectrum light. soothing music or environmental sounds. It is guaranteed to increase alertness. The negative ions lower the levels of serotonin in the brain. a blood hormone. If we are to feel energetic and perform at our best. If you work in such a place. confusion. red puffy ear lobes. One person in three is allergic to something in their environment.

mind and decrease productivity and efficiency. Don’t be afraid to speculate. patience. Learn to Think Laterally Lateral thinking is a matter of looking at things differently. To stimulate creativity. combining thoughts and ideas in new ways. Your brain is elastic and will continue to grow as long as it is challenged and stimulated. Avoid negative thinking. Take the proper vitamins. Effective stress-reducing strategies are yoga. unfocus your thoughts and don’t worry about being logical. 2. Stress produces anxiety and worry. meditation. The ability to verbalize the problem is centered in the left brain while visualization is in the right brain. Keep your mind like calm water. concentration. narrowing your focus of attention so important cues and perceptions are missed. 3. Then. Boost Your Brain Power Summary 1. 10. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of boosting your brain power. Creativity requires time. 6.) 23. What turns inspiration into creativity is perseverance. Learn to organize your surroundings. 5. Properly align your body posture. (See the Reduce Stress chapter. 4. Creativity involves exploring the unknown. 22. each of us has moments of inspiration throughout the day. Wide-focus your attention rather than narrowing it to small details. Next. and any other activity that enables you to stay calm and worry free. Eat brain foods. like memory or concentration. The main elements of creativity are inspiration and perseverance. . Inspiration isn’t a thunderbolt from the blue. switch to a visual or abstract thinking mode. If you are having a problem that is hard to verbalize. Creativity Can Be Developed Creativity is not an inborn trait. 7. Eat iron-rich foods. practice the following steps. and hard work. First. Aerobic exercise offers an instant mental life. Keep your mind limber with mental activities. relaxation. 9. 8. follow with at least 20 to 30 minutes of conscious imagery. The final chapter tells you how. Keep your brain fit by keeping your body fit. Consider taking a course in organizing skills at a local college. 21. Be receptive and uncritical of thoughts and ideas springing up in your mind. Stress Is Enemy #1 The brain’s number one enemy is stress. take a few minutes to perform a complete body/mind relaxation. it is a mental capacity that can be developed. 20.

12.” “I establish and sustain an effective program of mental rejuvenation. 23.” “I now learn to think laterally.” “I keep my mind busy with imagination and spatial challenges.” . 17. Trace minerals are important. 13. 16. When you eat is important.” “I practice proper posture and feel better as a result. Stress is enemy #1.” “I avoid or immediately resolve stressful situations. 19. 14. Avoid loud environments. Ion ratios affect your brain.” “I think clearly and act quickly and decisively. Light affects behavior.” “I sleep soundly and awaken rejuvenated and ready to begin a new day. 20 Creativity can be developed.” “I remain alert and focused upon what I am doing. “Every day in every way my brain power increases. Sound sleep is important. 18. Improve your concentration to boost your brain power. Your body-heat patterns correspond to your mental alertness.” “I keep my mind like calm water. 21. 22.” “Exercise and physical activity increases my intelligence and performance. 15.11. Allergies affect brain function.” “I have the power and ability to focus my concentration at will.” “I eat a balanced diet. Learn to think laterally.” “I regularly challenge and stimulate myself.” “My visualization and imagination skills get better by the day. Use self-hypnosis ________________________________________________________________________ • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.

career. But once you’ve set it down as a clear goal you’re on your way and you can do it. don’t pretend to care when you don’t. things. and about your accomplishments. The first bit of advice on self-esteem is to be direct and honest in your communications with other people. fantasize yourself telling a close friend about the lies. and it doesn’t even matter if your beliefs are true. What you call reality is what you’ve agreed reality to be for you. never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. . Don’t judge yourself as you explore each area. awareness or challenge. not evoke guilt. It’s little things like this that add up to low self-esteem. Human potential trainers know there are three ways to generate change in a human being: 1) add something: people. things. Don’t pretend to accept liberal ideas to win acceptance if you’re really a conservative. Self-esteem results from what you do in life. you already have high self-esteem. Negative beliefs about selfesteem. If you feel good about the way you relate to others. don’t say yes and then chastise yourself for not having the guts to say no. body image. it’s time to work on your self-esteem. To be less than honest in your communications with others means you repress your real feelings. and what you feel. and imagine your friend’s reaction. it becomes true for you. The idea is to have patience and know that you’ll get where you want to be. environment. and don’t fake what you really feel. Learn assertiveness training which teaches you simple techniques to stand up for your basic human rights without feeling guilty. If you are not getting what you want. Maybe your reasons for wearing a mask are not valid anymore. From this day forward. programming or challenge. Always be honest about who you are. This is transcendental change—when an individual removes his pretenses of fear and expands himself. If your neighbor wants to borrow your lawn mower and you don’t want to loan it to him. Don’t spend time with people you don’t like.C H A P T E R T H R E E Enhance Self-Esteem You create your reality with your beliefs. Don’t lie. Changing your self-image takes time. 3) get the person to be themselves. and romance will become true just as a positive belief will also become true. 2) take something away: people. And you can change it. Take the time to think about any lies you are currently living. environment. When you are done. If you believe something. because in the long run it won’t serve you. 1. This is a giant step toward high selfesteem. In relationships with others. the idea is to attain awareness. The same is true in reverse.

more than what other people think. Courage is the willingness to be afraid and to act anyway. You also need to realize that you see people the same way—through your own viewpoint which may not accurately reflect the way things really are. Only those people who have high self-esteem are secure enough to project a modest and reserved image to others. short of physical violence.” Then. but can’t forgive your own.” Then. They need these trappings of wealth to impress you and hide their insecurity. You forgive their shortcomings. “Success Opportunity.2.” Then replace the negative thought with a positive one. A hierarchical viewpoint is always self-defeating. This technique assures positive instead of negative subconscious programming. Be more compassionate towards yourself. if you catch yourself thinking “I’ll never be the top salesperson in this company. realize that other people see you through a veil of opinions and conclusions comprising their viewpoint—a viewpoint based upon all their past experiences. they would react to anyone who represented to them what you represent. Choosing a role model to emulate is entirely different than basing your self-esteem upon how you stack up against someone else. for the person with high self-esteem—being is more important than belonging. As an example. You are who you are and it isn’t a valid comparison to judge yourself against someone else. Think about showing the same compassion to yourself as you show to others.” stop. Don’t allow someone else’s lack of balance to cause a problem in you. People with high self-esteem are not necessarily well liked. and silently in your mind say. This can take courage. Don’t compare yourself to others. or someone says something negative to you. Courageous people are a minority. regardless of what others think. say to yourself. The same is true of the attention-seekers. because they are more independent. does not affect you. This means to value what is right and true for you. You can stop this practice by catching yourself and using this thought-stopping technique: always notice self-defeating thoughts immediately. Ostentatious displays of expensive possessions usually indicate someone is lacking in self-esteem. Only what you think about what they say or do affects you. . 4. They express who they are and what they believe. as are those with high self-esteem. Don’t take negative input personally. So there is nothing personal in it. Remember. 3. “Success Opportunity. You’re probably good at showing compassion to others. If you are criticized. don’t take it as an attack on your self-worth. Courage is a key word when you’re talking about high selfesteem. “Every day I improve my sales techniques and every day I move closer to the top position. Realize that what someone else says or does. and say these two trigger words to yourself. But their relationships are superior to those of people with low self-esteem. The way they react to you. From this moment on. Value being more than belonging. visualize yourself having already accomplished your goal. and usually outspoken. The idea is to begin transforming the way you experience your life. This is often intimidating to those whose esteem binds them to convention.

If self-esteem is the result of what you do in life. You can only attract into your life that which you feel worthy of. or something that sounds good? Change takes time and energy and commitment! If you really want high self-esteem you’ll take the ideas in this book and really begin to do something with them. You can only attract into your life that which you feel worthy of. Probably the fastest way to do this is to ask yourself the right questions. So. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself. From this day forward. the idea is to become very clear about what you really want. You must correct yourself when you’re wrong. When you do things you don’t feel good about. There is no way to grow without taking chances. Allow yourself to take chances and risks. you will suffer because you will feel as if you have failed in something. It follows that to feel worthwhile. and the odds of success will be reduced when you are forced to act. Think about the changes. you must maintain a satisfactory standard of behavior. Thus there is a negative payoff in remaining in their current position.5. you may have discovered a subconscious block to a high self-image. that others must step forward and handle things for them. But be aware that failure to risk is often the surest way of losing. you lower your self-esteem. you need to be aware that they will probably end up doing it to you. Sure. and if your conduct is below your standard. Clarify your goals. then to increase your self-esteem you need to do things that support your goal. and you don’t correct it. the need to take the chance may eventually come to you. things will change. and in growth you give something up without knowing for certain if the next step is going to be any better. It is critically important. never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. you build your self-esteem. 6. So isn’t it time to see yourself as worthy and deserving of the very best that life has to offer? 7. or so unconfident. You are not what you have and you are not what you do—so it is time to stop being so scared of making a mistake. Think about that. If by chance you are one of those allowing others to do it for you. and start creating a new opinion of yourself. for if you don’t risk. Do you really want to establish high self-esteem or is it something you think you should do. . It is time to see the areas of your life that are not working as opportunities for new solutions. 8. Choose to view your problems from a new perspective. Are any of them undesirable? If so. If your life is ever going to get better you have to take risks. After years of working with people in seminars. I’ve seen a pattern of people using a position of poor self-esteem as a way to control others. uncertainty and danger are part of the process. They are so helpless. Do you really want what you say you want? If you establish high selfesteem.

Behavior is more important than emotion in creating change. Your subconscious mind works very much like a computer. It just needs to be right to protect itself. if you aren’t perfect. . just the way you are! You see. “How can I behave as if I had more selfesteem?” Can you improve your posture. The result is your current life. You get what you want or you don’t. Be honest with yourself about what you are feeling and accept the experience of your emotions without being compelled to act on them. Act as if you have high self-esteem even when you know you don’t.9. instead of emotions. and your feelings will follow your actions. You don’t need to change how you feel about something to affect it. and basing your self-esteem upon these realities. Realize no one can be perfect. it doesn’t mean you’re a loser. your computer can’t be wrong. And your reactions are often based upon events from your past that aren’t valid anymore. it has to be right. Base your decisions and actions on rational thinking. Please understand that your subconscious computer doesn’t care if you get what you want out of life. And your subconscious computer judges your safety based upon your past experiences. To be wrong threatens its very survival. It’s time to start viewing life more realistically. you get to be right and lose the game. your family. If you’re a person who has mentally eliminated the middle ground it’s time to take a realistic look at your viewpoint. Everyone of us is programmed to have to be right to survive. So the question to be asking yourself is. Maybe next weekend a friend invites you to go out on a boat. You either win or lose in life. And in so doing. If you continually measure yourself against a standard of perfection that is impossible to achieve. In other words. you think you’re a failure. the automatic result is poor self-esteem. 11. It equates water with drowning. Change begins with action. But you’ve been afraid of water since you nearly drowned at age eleven. If you’re not in perfect physical shape. it doesn’t mean you’re grossly fat. and like the machine it is. for starters? What about dressing your best? How can you speak with more authority? How can you act more sure of yourself? How can you be more honest and direct with others? How can you live more authentically? How do you stick up for yourself when you need to? 10. Your subconscious mind scans the memory banks and decides that it would be a bad idea to accept the boating invitation. If you’re not the leader in your profession. Your emotions are the result of your past programming. or your country. and won’t always serve you when used as the foundation for decisions. So. It refers backwards through your past for all its present guidance and justifications. Compulsive actions lower selfesteem. Emotionally based decisions too often tend to make being right more important than winning the game. In other words. programmed for survival—your personal survival or that which you identify with—which might include your mate. your subconscious computer says it is all right to live your life just the way you did in your past. you survive. if you are willing to change what you are doing.

” If this relates to you. This is about expectations of disaster. Be aware that the other guy is programmed to be right. if only you take the proper actions. It might be a lot wiser to make some changes in your own internal standards instead of searching for emotional stimulation in a new situation. You’ve dreamed and schemed . “My child didn’t come when I called her. Now is outside of time. He needs to be right. By changing your viewpoint you can eliminate the effects of a problem. and we’ll have to live in the streets. We do not exist in time. Maybe you can let him be right with a simple phrase such as. his survival is threatened and there will be conflict. His subconscious computer is no longer threatened and he can then concentrate upon the issue. Nothing is hidden. .. And if you’re no longer affected by a problem you don’t have a problem. The idea is to be always.” “My headache is probably a brain tumor.” “If the Democrats get back in office they’ll destroy the economy. and everyone will be out of work. We exist now and now is all that is. It is a life-changing concept. 12. hoped and planned how it would be someday. Use the thought stopping technique described earlier in Chapter One. Seek joy and fulfillment in your current relationship and career before looking elsewhere. 14. Your viewpoint is the deciding factor in whether you experience life negatively or positively. Read this tip over a few times to fully grasp it. Doomsday thinkers project every situation into a worst case scenario. at this moment. She’s probably been kidnapped. 13. The way you experience life is based upon the way you choose to view what happens to you. There is no past in which you were incomplete and there will never be a future in which you will become complete. The key is to approach all problems from the other person’s vantage point. and the bank will repossess our home. it’s time to stop. For years you’ve calculated. You will only be aware of it in the now. We exist in self. perfectly at peace and in balance.The rational approach is to let others be right and see how much more often you win the game. Don’t always expect the worse. you will believe that fulfillment awaits you in an illusionary future. “Yes. and this is how it all turned out.” Often that’s enough. although nothing about the problem situation may have changed. Live in the now. People with high self-esteem use the time component. You will resolve most of life’s problems through changes in your perspective. And unless you allow him to be right. This very moment is it. so you’re no longer affected. You’ve been planning all your life for the future. I understand that. but they never accept it as a reality that entraps them in actions to achieve fulfillment in an illusionary future.. Reality exists as that which you experience. fulfilled. Until you accept that you can only exist now. This is all there is. but you will never be aware of the future in the future. Right now. This belief destroys the experience of now and you continually live in illusion.

Give it a name. People with low self-esteem will put themselves down when a compliment is offered. Discover the source of any beliefs that are lowering your self-esteem.” Or. Next. But in your case. Then tell yourself. Within you lies the whiner and the critic. and what you feel. “Thank you. The goal is to recognize these sub-personalities the moment they emerge. “Gee.” and they respond.” Continual refusal to identify with the sub-personality can cause it to disappear. from this moment on. Think about the negative sub-personalities that are lowering your self-image. And once the image has taken form. my timing was bad and I forgot a couple important points. Learn how to accept compliments. So. “You gave a great speech. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of enhancing your self-esteem. If you can’t find the cause of a belief on your own. a monster. The final chapter tells you how. “This sub-personality is within me but it is not me. Always be honest about who you are. And become aware of who or what causes this aspect of you to assert itself. the manipulator and the martyr. Examine your beliefs. a symbol or anything else. imagine an image emerging to represent this part of you. It could be male or female. or at least the knowledge can be used as the basis of reprogramming. Value being more than belonging. “Oh. 17. I was going to give it to the Salvation Army. the builder and destroyer—each with its own mythology and co-existing as part of your personality. Let this image just happen without attempting to consciously form it. an animal. And instead of being absorbed by sensations. no matter what your level of self-esteem. Increase Self-Esteem Summary 1.” These responses deflect attention away from the fact they’ve been complimented. Do this exercise over and over until you’ve uncovered all your undesirable sub-personalities. feelings. you simply observe the sub-personality objectively. someone says. Their self-esteem is so low they can’t accept a compliment without qualification.” 16. respond to a compliment with a simple. Also see if you can identify any fear associated with this sub-personality. 18. without judging or interfering. begin by thinking of one of your undesirable personality traits. and they respond. . a hypnotist using regressive techniques or a psychotherapist may be able to help. 2. Sometimes knowing the cause can eliminate the effect. give it a chance to express itself without any interference or judgment. thoughts and desires. Have a mental conversation with it.15. elf or fairy. All our beliefs go back to a cause—an event or a series of events in your past. Someone compliments their suit.

Think about the negative sub-personalities that are lowering your self-image. 7. Live in the now.” “I easily accept compliments. Act as if you have high self-esteem even when you know you don’t. 9. 17.” “I am clear on my intent to have the highest self-esteem. From this day forward. Learn how to accept compliments.3.” “I accept the experience of my emotions without being compelled to act.” “I am self-reliant and self-confident. 5. 10.” “I support my self-esteem with daily programming. in every way. never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. Base your decisions and actions on rational thinking. “I project a positive self-image. Don’t compare yourself to others. 15.” “I am very sure of myself. Allow yourself to take chances and risks. 13.” “I’d rather win the game than get to be right.” “Every day. Don’t always expect the worse. 12. Seek joy and fulfillment in your current relationship and career before looking elsewhere.” “I base my decisions upon rational thinking and not emotions.” “I am always aware that my thoughts are creating my reality.” “I do not take the opinions of others personally. 14.” “I am compassionate towards myself. Realize no one can be perfect.” “I speak and act in ways that support my self-esteem. Examine your beliefs. I gain in self-esteem.” . Don’t take negative input personally. 4. Choose to view your problems from a new perspective. 6.” “I live authentically. 11. instead of emotions.” “I am filled with independence and determination. 16. Clarify your goals. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. 8.

“I have great inner courage.” “I can do whatever I set my mind to.” .

and then decide if you are really willing to change. which can lead to fulfilling your needs—and further improved behavior. if you are willing to change what you are doing. 1. such as being known as an immaculate dresser. not inherited. Reality exists as that which you experience.” but sometimes we just can't admit to ourselves on a conscious level that we lack the self-discipline to do what we need to do. You don’t have to change how you feel about something to affect it. viewpoints and habits and the interaction of those three factors. . In the context of success it means self-determination. Examine your behavior and personality. The way you experience life is based upon the way you choose to view what happens to you. They can be changed if you want to change them. Then decide if you are really willing to change. Viewpoint is the deciding factor in whether you experience life harmoniously or disharmoniously. self-discipline simply means that you do what you need to do. or always being late. Your viewpoints are the ways you look at things. So suggestion number one is to decide what in your personality needs to be changed. energy and resources to manifest your desires. 2. what changes need to be made? You have the power and ability to change your personality. traits. successful people. Your personality is the sum total of all your past programming. Decide what needs to be changed.C H A P T E R F O U R Maximize Self-Discipline Self-discipline isn’t about self-denial or self-restrictions. They are acquired. Increasing self-discipline is a matter of building the strength not to give up. Self-discipline is the one factor common to all self-made. thus they are alterable. and viewpoints are your choices. Your traits are a tendency to do things repeatedly in similar ways. such as the way you get dressed in the morning or the route you drive to work. In a nutshell. Your habits. “To hell with it. We might not come right out and say “To hell with it. Self-discipline is the very basis of success because it is how you direct your time. A habit is a simple act you do over and over. and you stop doing what doesn’t work. It is perseverance in action. Build your strength by increasing your willpower and self-esteem.” because we don’t have the strength to struggle with the issue at hand. Are you willing to take responsibility for your behavior? Is your behavior causing you problems? An immediate change in behavior will quickly lead to a change in attitude. It amounts to your traits. All too often we say.

you are going to be stuck with the pain unless you get stronger. it will disappear when your needs are successfully fulfilled. or develops a phobia. you will suffer because you will feel as if you have failed in something. and 2) The need to feel worthwhile to ourselves and to others. The first step in taking charge of your life may be to explore any secret satisfaction you receive from not being fully in charge. which can be summed up as good self-esteem. For your basic needs to be fulfilled. you are denying the reality of the world you live in. But whatever the symptom. One of the primary reasons people are not as happy or fulfilled as they desire to be is that they don’t choose wisely between harmonious and disharmonious behavior. or poor. Learn to fulfill your essential needs. someone else gets depressed. As a basic rule of life. never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. Now whatever has happened in the past. Psychiatry is concerned with two basic psychological needs: 1) The need to love and be loved. If you are weak. no matter what your symptoms or behavior. If you need to increase your self-discipline you need to take charge of your life. You must correct yourself when you’re wrong. 3. but we vary in our ability to fulfill them. You must have at least one person who cares about you and whom you care about. All human beings have the same physiological and psychological needs. You can build your strength by increasing your willpower and generating high self-esteem. focusing only upon what you are doing and do one thing at a time until the task is completed. When you do things you don’t feel good about. Your level of self-esteem is the result of what you have done in the past. you’re receiving some satisfaction from being a victim. you must be involved with other people. and better behavior will increase your self-esteem. To feel worthwhile. you build your self-esteem. and it will lead to a change in attitude. or feel . and if your conduct is below your standard. As an example. no matter how it may have affected you. if you feel like you are victimized. and you don’t correct it. Actions influence attitude. 4. another develops an ulcer. If you have problems and are unable to fulfill your essential needs in life. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself. or becomes anti-social. How are you served by your lack of self-discipline? Explore any secret satisfaction you may receive from not being fully in charge of your life. Build your willpower by practicing onepointedness. Without this essential person you will not be able to fulfill your basic needs. If you aren’t fulfilling your needs. Exert the willpower to make immediate changes in your behavior. Just as you would suffer if you had no one to love or love you. you must maintain a satisfactory standard of behavior. Self-discipline and responsibility play an important part in this because you must fulfill your needs in a way that does not deprive others of the ability to fulfill their needs. you lower your self-esteem.If your lack of self-discipline causes you mental suffering. it won’t make any difference once you learn to fulfill your needs. the severity of your symptoms reflects the degree to which you are unable to fulfill your needs. One person becomes stressed.

or being right all the time. or sickness. Or. Catch yourself and say these two little words quickly to yourself. and explore how it serves you to do what you do. Start with any area where you feel you are lacking in selfdiscipline. or maybe you think everything will eventually resolve itself. Real power lies in your ability to control your thoughts. or maybe the “avoid” will keep you from being judged. a change in behavior that will eliminate the problem. Then design a countermeasure. If you are not experiencing your life exactly the way you want it to be. how about the “My relationship is miserable” game? Life is a game. success and abundant health. Maybe you experience anxiety about starting or completing a task. There is the “I can’t find the right relationship” game. stop playing. or get upset. which result from your thoughts. 5. Maybe you fear success or fear failure. Or maybe if you put things off somebody else will do it. I used to put them off for days. You create your own reality with your beliefs. Others play the game of happiness. We are each playing a game we set up. Negative games are great attention-getters. The more you use this technique the more effective it will become. there is a payoff of some kind in it for you. you are allowing your unconscious mind to create your reality—and that just doesn’t work. and by avoiding the issue you don’t have to cope with either. Explore how you are served by not doing what you need to do. abundance and success. As an example. start catching yourself when you think a negative thought. Often. In this case I chose to delegate the undesirable task to my office staff. Some people play it as a game of struggle. Your thoughts and beliefs have created all your experiences. or poverty. or forever. Now. either a change in behavior or a change in attitude can easily do the trick. And the “I can only attain a limited level of success” game. when you need to do it. My friends already know I don’t like to talk on the phone and are willing to communicate with my wife or answering machine.” Then imagine the undesirable situation reversed. Or. I lacked the self-discipline to return almost all phone calls. The number of games is infinite. or when you’re not self-disciplined. And if your game is not bringing you some kind of payoff. . there are hidden reasons why you procrastinate and end up feeling the need to increase your self-discipline. Quickly imagine a positive outcome. my primary area of procrastination relates to returning phone calls. “Success Opportunity. Learn to control your thoughts. rephrase the negative thought with a positive one. From this moment. or make a judgment. in understanding why I lack the selfdiscipline to return calls I can either build the strength to stop procrastinating or find another way of resolving the problem. weeks.inadequate. lack and limitation. They now return 99 percent of my calls. Discover ways to eliminate the problem. it often alienates people who require social rapport. Why? Because they take time away from my writing and I dislike the small talk that is usually part of any call. When I’m directly to the point. A confused mind works in the direction of sickness. Another benefit of these games might be that they protect you from blame. rather than health.

physical fitness & well-being. Examine your values and make sure they are compatible with your goals. How would you cope? Where could you get help? How would you carry on? Explore your potential for dealing effectively with life. Realize that no one is perfect. Rise above the fear of success. Make it all right with yourself to be less than perfect. If your goals and values are not compatible. explore this from the perspective of how you can increase your chances of winning in this situation. Then do the same with your values. explore how you can reduce the likelihood of this undesirable event from occurring. Key value areas to consider are your primary relationship. to resolve or avoid a conflict. A third possibility is that you’ll destroy one or the other in the process. success can generate a fear of ultimate failure at some future time. the less fearful you will be. children. spirituality. Also. 8. Maybe if you were to really succeed it would change your relationship with your mate. this sets you up for failure. And.6. career. Begin rising above your fear-blocks by asking yourself. demands and pressures. Examine your potential gains and losses realistically. finances. Explore what you would do if the worst came to pass. Then. What could you do to increase your safety? The more you can do. and decide what will and won’t work for you. First. creativity. Success often increases expectations. No one is perfect. 7. Make a list of your ten most important goals. friends. the fear of being overwhelmed and the fear of finishing. friends & associates. problems with self-discipline are sure to follow because you end up fighting yourself in regard to fulfilling your desires. Understand and rise above three more fear blocks: the fear of failure. you will either subconsciously block yourself from achieving your goals or you’ll change your values to make them consistent with your goals. you need to explore why you might be afraid of success. If you avoid doing what you need to do because you don’t think you can do the job perfectly. You must accept that you and everyone else on the planet is human and everyone of us has our limits. Maybe success would dictate other changes you wouldn’t like. And when you’ve done that. The more of a perfectionist you are the harder it will be to begin. Explore your alternatives. 9. Then decide to get going. remind yourself that courage is the willingness to be afraid and to act anyway. education & . “What is the worst that could happen?” A full awareness of your potential loss will clarify your anxiety. Any great difference on the list will indicate that you need to rethink one or the other. If your values and goals are not compatible. Understand and rise above the fear of success. or family.

not what you think you should want. Clarify your values and goals.. or 3) It is totally unrealistic. you’ll be aware of how much self-discipline will be required. effort or sacrifice. use the thought stopping “Success Opportunity” technique and empower yourself by saying. short and long-term personal goals. think about how much energy you’d have to do what you enjoy. I’m talking about the joy. Your goals should consist of your primary short-term career goal. The block will be one of three things: 1) A subconscious fear. Do only that which you enjoy. should generate productive behavior. sure . what a dumb idea. Question yourself about your life desires. recreational and leisure activities. Next. 11. if you freed yourself from the tasks that you don’t enjoy. and reinforce your self-esteem. . When you feel you have to do something. 12. If you don’t choose. rather than a responsible. I’m not talking about ignoring your responsibilities. you didn’t do it. If you are doubting it now. If your goals consist mainly of financial and career successes and your values are primarily concerned with your spirituality. home & material possessions. and it can fragment your personality. From this moment on. What would happen if no matter what it was. you must have goals if you desire to take control of your life. decide what you are willing to pay to get what you want.” you’re limiting your options. Now if you’re resisting this idea by saying. you may be fooling yourself. because it generates joy. “I freely choose to. 10. One of the primary reasons people are not self-disciplined is that they don’t enjoy what they are doing. stimulation and exhilaration that make you glad to be alive. The idea is to delegate what you don’t want to do. Think about this. Instead of doubting this idea. If you don’t plan a life direction you are making a choice: no choice. “Sure. if you didn’t enjoy it. The price will be one or more of the following: time. But there is a very simple way to integrate yourself. you’re playing the victim. powerful person. what you really want would generate great joy in your life. destiny makes your choices for you and that can result in sad consequences.” What you want to do is always your best option in life. When you know exactly what you want and what you’re willing to do to get it.intellectual growth. You want goals. you need goals. Look at the results of your goal/value list and clarify your real goals. Hopefully. To do what you don’t enjoy can be torture. This aliveness comes from doing what you want to do. In turn. All you have to do is do only that which you enjoy. joy generates inspired energy which if properly channeled. you probably limit all your options in life. any time you start to feel like you have to. Next. Goals define your selfdiscipline requirements. and community or service involvements. discover what is blocking you from getting what you want.. Determine exactly what you really want. money. and probably generate incredible self-discipline. and your strongest personal goals. At least do this with your general career goal. Like a Möbius strip. 2) A hidden benefit. long-term career goal. and relationship goals. recreation & leisure activities. Freely choose what you do.

one generates the other in a continuous cycle of productivity and joy. You might have to work a little longer at what you enjoy to earn what you need to hire someone else to do what you don’t enjoy. But wouldn’t it be worth it?

13. Divide big jobs into workable steps which you take one step at a time.
The big picture can often appear daunting once we have procrastinated long enough. It just takes an extra couple of minutes to organize a large task into a series of smaller related tasks. Group together related activities. You can save yourself a great deal of time with a few extra minutes of organizing before the real work begins. Set priorities and do the most important things first. Then once you begin, concentrate on the task at hand. If you allow yourself to get distracted by all that needs to be accomplished, you won’t get the job done. Focusing all your energy in one direction is a powerful success force. Begin by examining your task and finding the best place to start. Next divide the task into small, manageable steps which you will handle, one step at a time, until the project is complete.

14. Eliminate busy work.
This is work that doesn’t really contribute to your overall success, but you take refuge in doing it, because it’s easy. When you do things that aren’t worth doing, you delude yourself into thinking you’ve accomplished something.

15. Touch each paper only once.
If you are going to read the memo or open the letter and read it, or open the telephone bill, or glance at your notes for the proposal, handle it immediately. Don’t allow your desk to become a rotation center for paperwork.

16. Just begin–one disciplined act leads to another.
Be aware that when you are self-disciplined and act in the way you desire to act, the act reinforces the motivating belief and viewpoint behind the act. The reverse is also true every time you fail to act. So, one self-disciplined act naturally leads to another and to another to help you free yourself from the beliefs and viewpoints that work against you.

17. Use self-hypnosis.
Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of maximizing your self-discipline. The final chapter tells you how.

Increase Self-Discipline Summary
1. Examine your behavior and personality; what changes need to be made? 2. Build your strength by increasing your willpower and self-esteem. 3. Learn to fulfill your essential needs.

4. How are you served by your lack of self-discipline? Explore any secret satisfaction you may receive from not being fully in charge of your life. 5. Learn to control your thoughts. 6. Realize that no one is perfect. 7. Rise above the fear of success. 8. Understand and rise above three more fear blocks: the fear of failure, the fear of being overwhelmed and the fear of finishing. 9. Examine your values and make sure they are compatible with your goals. 10. Clarify your values and goals. 11. Question yourself about your life desires. 12. Do only that which you enjoy. 13. Divide big jobs into workable steps which you take one step at a time. 14. Eliminate busy work. 15. Touch each paper only once. 16. Just begin—one disciplined act leads to another.

• Affirmations •
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
“I have the self-discipline to accomplish my personal and professional goals.” “I direct my time and energy to manifest my desires.” “Every day, in every way, I increase my self-discipline.” “I do what I need to do and stop doing what doesn’t work.” “I can control my thoughts, and thus my actions.” “I freely choose to do what I do.” “I am assertive and feel good about myself.” “I am clear on my values and willing to commit to my goals.” “I do a job one step at a time until it’s done.” “I live a directed life.” “I only act in ways that build my self-esteem.” “I take charge of my life and play the game of happiness, success and abundant health.” “‘Success Opportunity’ is my technique to reverse the energy of my thoughts.” “I have the courage to be afraid and act anyway.” “ I decide exactly what I want in life and I go for it.” “I incorporate time management techniques into my life.” “I spend my time in ways that support my goals.” “I know that who I am is perfect.”

C H A P T E R

F I V E

Reduce Stress
To reduce stress, you need to understand stress. Stress is the result of your perception of events. It is indicated by how you react to situations. What is stressful to you might not be stressful to someone else and vice versa. You are not born with more or fewer stress-prone genes than other people. In the end, it all amounts to attitude. Stress is being implicated in an ever-increasing number of serious health problems. To learn how to unstress, you must understand how you wound up stressed in the first place. The moment we encounter a tension-producing situation, our body chemically prepares to fight or flee. Your adrenal cortex secretes hormones which cause you to tense up. Your blood pressure rises and blood sugar is released for energy. Extra oxygen is delivered to your organs so you can use them in fighting off the danger. Clotting agents are increased in your blood in case you are wounded in the fight. Cholesterol and other fats are released to serve as a reserve energy supply. Many other biological changes also take place, all of which will allow your body to remain ready for action for the next two or three hours. But of course you don’t fight and you don’t flee, and this Stone Age internal reaction, originally meant to protect you, becomes a serious menace to your health. So what can you do? Well, you have a few options. You can keep the stress repressed and bottled up inside you. Of course this is sure to result in frustration, ulcers and worse health problems down the line. Or you can express your stress through sickness, apathy, anger, drinking, drugs, overeating or in any number of other undesirable ways. Or you can get rid of your stress according to a plan, and this chapter offers a complete stress reduction plan.

1. Consider your daily stress buttons.
Because stress is the result of constantly being ready to fight you have two ways of handling it. You can resolve all the conflicts in your life, or you can learn to live with them. To do either successfully you’ll have to change some viewpoints and behaviors that are an integral part of your personality. The best place to begin is with an exploration of your stress buttons. In life, there are instances of tragedy and disruption that we expect to trigger stress, such as the sudden death of a loved one, a debilitating injury or illness, the loss of a job, and the overwhelm of moving or relocating. But the fact is, the daily hassles of life may have a greater stress effect than the larger misfortunes of life. Examples of these daily hassles would be worry about weight, losing or misplacing things, a major change in your routine, too much to do and not enough time to do it properly, feeling lonely, money worries, too many responsibilities, the children fighting, and pressure to perform well—in any area.

You don’t want to have to provide approval on demand. Sometimes just knowing the cause is enough to alleviate the effect. . Every time you become stressed. ask yourself. the real problems may be with your expectations—expectations which are not your right. feeling incapable. mentally investigate your state of mind. can be triggered by stress. Even hair loss has been linked to stress. Reality is what you have chosen reality to be for you and it is alterable through a change in viewpoint. excessive smoking. continual on-the-go activity. “What would it take to eliminate the stress in this situation?” and next. excess sleeping. Do any of these fit you? Tenseness. maybe it goes back to a childhood incident. Remind yourself of that the next time you get upset. how can you expect others to be the way you want them to be? In such a situation. Digestion can be disrupted. impotence. So. It could be something remote. What causes you to be agitated? What makes you angry? What frustrates you? When does that tension begin to creep in? Write down all the little things that affect your well-being. your expectations are in conflict with what is. cold hands gritting your teeth. Here are some of the primary ways we express stress. driving your car aggressively. overeating or undereating. If so. Then congratulate yourself on your success. easy irritability. unfocused thinking. From this moment on. do you? It certainly isn’t your right to control others’ actions. and premature ejaculation have been traced to stress as have bladder problems. loss of sexual interest. Identify the ways in which you express your own stress. which programmed an automatic anxiety response you are still carrying. it contributes to cancer. Notice that they disappear once you reduce your stress levels. Take the time to stop and think about the reasons for your anxiety. excessive use of tranquilizers or marijuana. from anxiety to depression. and if the cause isn’t apparent. 3. “If I can’t change the people or circumstances. attempt to find it. frequent headaches. If you become stressed every time you have a report or a deadline. So. Researchers also believe that if stress is repressed long enough. turning every game into an intense competition. Many mental and emotional disorders. Asthma worsens in a stressful environment and the heart rate and rhythm can be disturbed. how can I change my viewpoint?” Examining how you can change your point of view reminds you that you have power in the situation. every time you feel stressed. high blood pressure. upset stomach. mentally investigate your state of mind. Menstrual disorders. Identify how you express your stress. 2. Perhaps your fourth-grade teacher reprimanded and embarrassed you. inability to sleep or frequent waking during the night. nervous habits from tapping your fingers to swinging your foot. Muscular twitches and tics can result from stress and so can skin problems such as eczema and psoriasis. You must first identify your stress buttons before you can eliminate them. trying to do more than one thing at a time. causing numerous diseases.Make a list of all the stress factors in your life. excessive drinking. It also might serve you to ask yourself if you had expectations of approval or control in regard to the stressful situation. Chances are you did. ask yourself.

4. Take action. Diffuse the pressure situations in your life.
Plan out your day and refuse to be intimidated by what needs to be done. Even if you can’t accomplish everything, set priorities so that you accomplish each task in order of importance and deadline. Then do each job one part at a time. If every time you have to meet a particular deadline you become stressed, start planning ahead a little better, so you don’t continually end up in a last minute panic. If family members drive you up the wall, learn some assertiveness training techniques to verbally stand up for your human rights without offending your relatives. If the crowd at the supermarket drives you crazy, do your shopping during the slack hours. All this amounts to being more rational in your approach to life. Be more realistic about what you will encounter when you put yourself into potentially stressful situations. Often this alone is enough to start reducing your stress. Start doing something—anything, to deal with the problem. If you can’t take direct action, what about indirect action? If your stress is coming from guilt or regret, you need to accept that you can’t change the past. But you can get busy, and keep busy, which will assist you to forget about the situation and the stress. Also in regard to guilt, be aware that it is an absolutely absurd emotion because usually nothing can be done about it. If nothing can be done, let the past be a lesson as to how to handle the future, and let go of the guilt. There a million things you can do to change your attitude and relieve stress. Start smiling at the people in your life, and laughing at yourself. Stop attempting to do more than one thing at a time. Spend 15 minutes doing nothing but listening to relaxing music. Consider meditation as an anti-stress technique. Play a game or sport to lose every once in a while. Do everything more slowly—walking, talking and eating. Go out and really observe a sunset, or a flower. Take a walk. Take your watch off for a week.

5. Balance your work with play.
If you are a high achiever, it’s often hard to break away to spend time in other ways—such as exercising, sharing with your family, spending quality time with your children, enjoying a hobby, or even attending to your spiritual needs. But this balance is critical to your overall well-being and is essential when battling stress. Maintaining your equilibrium must become a central priority. If you allow yourself to fall out of balance, things will go wrong in other areas of your life. If you are ignoring your relationship for your career, you can count on having relationship problems, which will then indirectly affect your career. If you aren’t exercising properly, you’ll probably get sick, which again will indirectly affect the other areas of your life. What areas in your own life are out of balance? What can you do to create balance?

6. At night, put your work and concerns aside.
By eight or nine o’clock at night, put your work and concerns aside. Let this be the time you are finished for the day and ready to relax. Be aware that it will still take two or three hours for all your internal stress hormones to be re- absorbed by the glands that

produced them. Spend this time doing something that is relaxing, while also mentally engaging. This will take your mind away from the stressful thoughts of the day.

7. Be direct and honest; handle disputes with other people immediately.
When you are not direct and honest, you repress. Repression is simply another expression of fear. Fear is negative subconscious programming that only creates future negative experiences. Fear of expressing your true feelings dissipates your energy. The more you repress, the less energy you have to be who you really are. To resolve problems, all you have to do is be direct and honest about what you want and don’t want. Express your needs calmly, without resentment or hostility. Don’t be afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings. If someone cannot accept you as you are, without attempting to manipulate you, do you really need that person in your life? If there is conflict, negotiate a compromise before the stress sets in. Storing up hurt doesn’t work. If others have let you down, express what you need to say. And remember, never do anything that causes you to lose self-esteem. If self-esteem is the result of what you do in life, then to increase your self-esteem you need to do things that support your goal. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself, you build your self-esteem. When you do things you don’t feel good about, you lower your self-esteem.

8. Do what you do naturally and well, and delegate the rest of the responsibilities to others.
Some of you may believe that when it comes to your work, you can do it better than anyone else. When others don’t get the job done, you take on the task. Instead, why not decide to delegate everything you don’t really need to do? You don’t need to control every little situation, and you can live with a little less perfection. Research has shown that busy executives who are less stressed than their peers have high self-esteem, think the world is worthwhile, believe they can influence events around them, and tend to see change and problems as opportunities. Start viewing your problems as decisions that need to be made. If you have irrational outbursts, overly strict standards, and use high pressure tactics at work, you are only being counterproductive. Does your tendency to become easily irritated and aggravated really help you get the job done? Does impatience make it easier to make decisions, or does it cause you to move too quickly and screw up? Do your ultra-high expectations help you succeed? More likely they assure failure. It’s time to replace the idea that overdriven behavior is beneficial. Your extreme hardworking attitude isn’t always healthy, or productive. Examine your personality. Your personality is the basis of how you react to life’s stresses. Although no one is a total type A or type B personality, most people are inclined toward type A behavior. They tend to be excitable, competitive and goal oriented. In his book, Treating Type A Behavior And Your Heart, Dr. Meyer Friedman says, “If you are a type A personality and can admit to it, you are halfway to kicking the undesirable type A patterns.” The doctor goes on to list low self-esteem and insecurity as the primary causes of these undesirable behavioral patterns. He says that in his

research study of 592 type A people, every single one doubted their ability to perform their duties well enough to warrant advancement in their company. If this describes you, I suggest you read Chapter Three, “Increase Self-Esteem.”

9. Examine your self-talk to see what you are programming into your subconscious mind.
Thoughts and fantasies constantly run through your mind, indirectly creating your future reality. Sometimes they are in response to a specific event and sometimes they just flood into your mind when you are quiet. Here are some negative examples of selftalk: “I just can’t stand waiting in lines.” “I never have enough time to get everything done I need to do.” “I’d like to have a tank so I could crush every car that cuts in front of me on the freeway.” Use a thought stopping technique to stop the negative self-talk from becoming subconscious programming. Say these two trigger words to yourself, “Success Opportunity.” Then replace the negative thought with a positive one. Never allow someone else’s lack of balance to create a problem for you. This technique assures positive—instead of negative—programming.

10. Exercise!
Since stress prepares your body for intense muscular activity, exercise is a great way to relieve built-up tension. The more aerobic the exercise the better. Vigorous daily exercise increases levels of the neurotransmitters as well as endorphins, the body’s natural opiates, and will make it easier for you to relax more completely. The oxygen flooding through your system will help you detoxify more quickly and eliminate the biological factors that prolong stress. So, running, fast walking, swimming, cycling, calisthenics, and aerobic dancing are especially recommended. When you include regular exercise as a part of your lifestyle, it assists you to keep your stress level low enough to absorb ordinarily stressful situations without affecting you. Obviously it is best not to take up competitive exercise such as handball, tennis, or volleyball, as these may create other stressful situations.

11. Change your eating habits.
Eliminate those foods which generate or worsen stress. On days of extreme stress, eat more carbohydrates. Proteins contain energizing brain chemicals, while carbohydrates, through a complex metabolic pathway, allow more tryptophan, a component that enhances relaxation, to get into the brain. Poor diet generates far more stress than most people realize. Even if you just incorporate the new government dietary guidelines you’ll be well served. Reduce your intake of foods containing sugar and refined white flour. Eliminate junk foods and fried foods. Replace red meat with fish, chicken or turkey. Avoid cholesterol. Reduce your alcohol intake. Eat more fresh vegetables, many of them raw. Also eat fresh fruits, and 100 percent whole grain bread, cereal and pasta products. There are three food related diseases which often generate or worsen stress. The first is food allergies, the second is hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), and the third is candida—the yeast problem. All are very common, all are curable simply by changing

vitamin C. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. For example. Most health food stores carry anti-stress vitamin and mineral formulas that can be very helpful. and the wisdom to know the difference. down through neutral to your emotional basement: stress. The law of attraction states. But as you begin to see the logic of detachment your negative emotions will be less likely to emerge in response to situations. You can attract to you only those qualities you possess. which is vitamin B-5. and 2) If you are resisting . or you need to do your own research before purchasing vitamins. Of course. is. Sure. Attached mind means your state of mind is always changing from positive to negative as outside conditions change. and agitation. 14. If you are loving you draw in and experience love. If you don’t take vitamins. Develop conscious detachment. the complete B complex. you draw in and experience negativity. Most nutritionists suggest using supplements. which will generate more negativity in your future. not repression. You attract that which you are and that which you concentrate upon. 13. you’ll have to express it. vitamin E. and panthenic acid. or the emotions will erupt in another way. perhaps you should consider vitamin supplements. hostile or resentful. if you feel angry. you must become peaceful and harmonious. Detached mind is based upon two points of logic: 1) If you get upset. There are things you can change in life and things you can’t change. Some of the most important stress fighters are vitamin A. “Where your attention goes your energy flows. So concentrate on becoming calm and centered. So if you want peace and harmony in your life. depression.” You attract that which you are and that which you concentrate upon. This is extreme fluctuation from happiness and joy. If you are negative. This doesn’t mean to passively accept life. 12. It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering and your stress. This means your state of mind fluctuates only from positive to neutral as outside conditions change. But recognize that there are also things you can do nothing about. you can greatly reduce candida by eliminating sugar and dairy products from your diet. You accept all the warmth and joy and happiness that life has to offer while detaching from negativity by allowing it to flow through you without affecting you. obtain your doctor’s advice before making any significant changes in your lifestyle. There is attached mind and detached mind. The goal is to develop detached mind. You detach out of wisdom. but you need expert advice. you will program your subconscious mind negatively. In other words you simply make matters worse. To accept what is. The Serenity Prayer says. What you have the potential to change go ahead and change. Accept that what is. is to accept unalterable realities as they are without wasting mental or physical energy attempting to change what you can’t. anger. the courage to change the things I can.your diet.

Within a few minutes you will find that you have greatly reduced your stress level. repression. insecurity. Only what you think about what they say or do affects you. 16. and when you think the breath is all the way out. and to give love is to receive love. and without blame. greed. malice. envy. Use breathing techniques to immediately unstress. and you enjoy these times. et cetera. Just take a very deep breath and hold it in as long as you comfortably can. to be different than they are. and push it even further and further out. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of reducing stress. large or small. It is that person’s right to be grouchy. selfishness. hate. Imagine being free of fear-based emotions. . All disturbances between human beings. blame. Then repeat the process. The final chapter tells you how. Detach from negativity and you become more physically relaxed. or somebody. at peace with yourself. prejudice. because you want something. Realize that you deserve love and happiness. but this person can also be selfish and selfcentered. The more you can live and let live the less stressed out you will be. It won’t happen. Nothing about the situation has changed except the way you view it. resentment. are rooted in fear. you are wasting your energy. Love is letting go of fear. and everyone in it. Why allow another person’s problem to create a problem within you? Let’s say the person closest to you is often warm and loving. although nothing may have outwardly changed. Use this technique of diaphragm breathing as a quick-fix technique to immediately unstress. mentally focused and spiritually aware. anxiety. What other people say or do.what is. letting go of delusions. guilt. you no longer have a problem. does not affect you. Fear is a big word. It means the acceptance of other people as they are without judgment. and it is your right not to be affected. You can do it in your car. the world. 17. During those times you consciously detach and let the negativity flow through you without affecting you. You will begin to feel centered and serene. depression. Fear means all the negative emotions such as anger. jealousy. inhibitions. emotionally calm. Then let the breath out through slightly parted lips. Express unconditional love. possessiveness. Often a better solution is a change in viewpoint. contract your stomach muscles. Learn to respond to others with compassion and a tranquil mind. 15. without expectations. other than physical violence. When you are no longer affected by a problem. so why become stressed about something you can’t change? A problem does not have to be eliminated to be resolved. It means to be compassionate and caring. vanity. This doesn’t mean romantic love. your office or walking down the street.

allowing it to flow through me without affecting me. is. After the fact. mentally investigate your state of mind. So concentrate on becoming calm and centered. You attract that which you are and that which you concentrate upon.” “I now let go of all turmoil in my life. 10. 9.” “I now view life as a tranquil oneness. At night.” “I handle disputes with other people immediately. 4.Reduce Stress Summary 1. Consider your daily stress buttons. and delegate the rest of the responsibilities to others. 16.” “I no longer have expectations of approval or control. Balance your work with play.” “I accept that what is. 15. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. handle disputes with other people immediately.” “I feel balanced and harmonious. Diffuse the pressure situations in your life. Exercise! 11.” “I am physically relaxed and emotionally at ease. 6. 8. put your work and concerns aside. 3. is. Use breathing techniques to immediately unstress.” “I feel very relaxed and peaceful.” “I am so relaxed and so at ease. Change your eating habits. Be direct and honest. 12. 13. Accept that what is.” .” “I am no longer affected by what cannot be changed. 14. Examine your self-talk to see what you are programming into your subconscious mind. Express unconditional love. 2. Take action.” “I consciously detach from negativity. 7. 5. Do what you do naturally and well. Identify how you express your stress. “I am at peace with myself and my circumstances. Develop conscious detachment.

” “I make sure my self-talk is positive.” “I now eat nutritionally balanced meals.“I think ahead.” . diffusing stressful situations in advance.” “Diaphragm breathing always relaxes me.” “Every day in every way I feel better about myself.” “Exercise now becomes a part of my daily lifestyle.

high cholesterol levels. attacks of anxiety. Some of the common symptoms include most of those I described for hypothyroidism. All the willpower and discipline in the world can’t help you if you haven’t armed yourself with the proper information. constipation. social values and improved health that go with it certainly make it worthwhile. and poor concentration and memory. breads or alcoholic beverages. . insomnia. and certainly not some new fad diet. and dietary use of sugars and refined white flour. more fat. depression. gas. pain in your joints. hair loss. swelling feet. These medical causes require specific attention and it is important to check with your doctor before making any changes in your lifestyle. If you are one of these people. Arm yourself with enough information to wade through the useless fad diets that may distract you from your real goal—good health. A few of the common symptoms include fatigue. not willpower. inability to lose weight. and not all of them are good. Information. muscle aches. Weight control involves work. Even the idea of “eating fewer calories than you burn” is an oversimplification and not your answer for a permanent solution. but the self-esteem. more carbohydrate. Read books that explain why we should or shouldn’t eat certain foods. cortisone. It is important to understand how your body reacts to the fats.C H A P T E R S I X Lose Weight Information is your most powerful weapon in the fight against fat. but you will usually gain it right back. Millions of people in this country have one of three physical conditions that keep them from losing weight. feeling spacey. the inability to make decisions. Nutrients and other processed ingredients act like drugs upon the body. 1. cravings for sugar. weight clinics and programming may help you to lose weight. Reading a diet book that only prescribes a daily meal plan won’t teach you anything about how the body works. The first medical cause is hypothyroidism. juicing. Think in terms of your weight transition being a renewal period in your life. which can be corrected with medication. feeling shaky or irritable when hungry. the birth control pill. will assist you in making healthy choices in your diet and lifestyle. loss of sexual desire. How are we to sort through it and make the healthy choice? Answer: information. Make an appointment with your doctor to evaluate whether you have any of these conditions. A simple blood test will show if you have a thyroid problem. causing certain reactions and responses. less fat. Very often weight problems are related to undetected medical causes. plus anal and vaginal infections. The diet industry is constantly bombarding us with new weight loss trends: food combining. less carbohydrate. abdominal pain. The second medical cause is candida—a yeast problem which seems to have developed over the last generation along with the increased use of antibiotics. diarrhea. carbohydrates and proteins in the foods we eat. nervousness. Investigate undetected medical causes for being overweight. impotence. Learn about nutrition.

you must change your beliefs. psychologists and human potential trainers all agree on this. . bad breath. This is your resting pulse. allergies.headaches. If it is 20 beats or higher than normal. nervousness. 3. if you are not 100 percent happy with your current reality and want to change it. numbness.” Food allergies are sometimes (or often) responsible for weight gain and the inability to lose weight. Take the “Cocoa Pulse Test. worrying. it is equally important to uncover the cause. depression. forgetfulness. 4. Begin to keep a record of what you eat and your reactions. irritability. sore throat. headaches. All are curable. Obviously there will be many changes. leg cramps and impotence. chronic rashes or itching. but you must see your doctor to determine your condition and the best course of action. confusion. rectal itching. It’s that simple! There are no exceptions. weak feelings. burning or tearing of eyes and recurring ear infections. insomnia. digestive disturbances. Brain/mind researchers. low sex drive. tingling. It is your beliefs that generate your thoughts and emotions. Check your pulse 30 to 60 minutes after the meal. Everything we experience has a cause. low energy. which create all your experiences. But once you are ready to acknowledge your blocks it becomes much easier to change what you are doing. you are often your own worst enemy. If you think about it. 2. Your beliefs are not hidden. Uncover the psychological cause. And one of the best places to begin exploring is to examine what will happen in your life when you attain your weight goals. A medical test is obviously the best way to find out if you fit into this category. but the “cocoa pulse test” is a way to self-check your own response to food. The third medical cause of obesity is hypoglycemia—low blood sugar. Through self-deception. you may have to start fending off romantic advances! Think about the undesired changes and you may find a block that is keeping you from attaining your goals. You need to be familiar with your normal pulse rate. If your weight problem is generated by psychological programming. or more often. Count your pulse for six seconds and multiply by ten. Primary symptoms include being shaky and craving food. dizziness. Your first step should be to find the cause of being overweight. you may be having an allergic reaction to what you ate. and how to take it. So. cold sweats. some may not be especially desirable. It is easy to recognize religious and political beliefs. nasal itching. Examine your beliefs about weight. but it is harder to pin down beliefs about how who and what you are relate to your life. they accept them as facts. You might want to work with a hypnotist who can direct you to subjectively experience the cause using regressive hypnosis techniques. muscle pains. If you have a dramatic rise in heartbeat following food ingestion it is likely that it is caused by sensitivity to that food. Your beliefs are the basis of your reality. They are part of your conscious awareness. They are probably unexamined because people don’t usually explore their beliefs. These three medical conditions can keep you from losing weight. As an example. They are not buried deep in your subconscious mind.

Each mini-meal doesn’t need to be balanced. and then going to bed at eleven. benefiting digestion. But new research indicates that if we eat too much carbohydrate. we may actually be keeping ourselves overweight. Ideally. if you are overweight. and if necessary use programming techniques to override them. That is what hypnosis. so you have plenty of time to burn off the calories. and prepare (or eat) many of them raw. and low in fat as the perfect model for maintaining a low body weight. eat a heavy breakfast. but spread it out over five to seven meals. In other words. Make sure that what you eat is nutrient-rich. a light lunch and a light. If you don’t get enough nutrients your entire metabolism slows down.There are also two additional factors that interrelate beliefs. If you look at a young woman with a perfect body and think. but the total meals should fulfill all your nutritional requirements for the day. one thing is certain: the percentage of calories that come from carbohydrates. 7. 5. Five to seven small meals a day will better assist you to lose weight. sleep programming or subliminal tapes can help you do. First. Find the proper balance of carbohydrates. If you prefer three meals. Eat different foods. including dextrose. Research says most overweight people gain weight even when they under-eat. If you find beliefs that are not serving you. It is time to examine all your beliefs about your weight. The idea is to eat real food—not imitation foods. American dietary guidelines prescribe a diet high in carbohydrates. protein and fat in your diet. protein and fat is a crucial factor in staying . Eat fresh vegetables. The idea of three square meals a day was not based upon dietary wisdom. The second universal law says that you always live up to your self-image. if that image includes being “brainless” if you have a perfect body. 6. but to accommodate workers in an industrial age. Replace foods made with refined flour with foods made of whole wheat flour. Stop eating foods with sugar in any of its many forms. sitting back to watch TV all evening. and too little fat. Now. sucrose. early dinner. explore the cause of the belief. they gain weight even when they maintain a diet lower in intake than required for body maintenance. It is critically important.” you are creating a mental block. Eat many small meals instead of the three standard meals. assimilation and metabolism. The idea is to eat the same amount as you would in three meals. there is a universal law that says you can’t become what you resent. You cannot become what you resent. not enough protein. Your subconscious mind will never allow you to think of yourself as brainless. you are in a no-win situation. so it will block your weight loss. These tapes program new beliefs. corn syrup and fructose. eat your last meal eight hours before going to bed. Nothing will add pounds like eating a large meal at seven o’clock. Why? The food they eat impairs their metabolism because it lacks sufficient nutrition. to change your beliefs about your weight. Whether you believe the USDA guidelines or not. processed food or canned foods. “All beauty and no brains. low in protein.

the more cleanly and efficiently you’ll run. or a low fat. Not only is bran fiber rich in nutrients. But some people believe this formula doesn’t work. spaghetti. Eating proteins and fat. A ten year health study of middle-aged men in the Netherlands showed that those who ate 27 grams of fiber daily had four times more heart attacks than those who ate 37 grams a day. The more you eat. protein plays a more substantial role and carbohydrate consumption becomes more moderate. but as a general rule it will serve you to eat more whole grains. causes your body to hold on to the fat it’s already got. . If so. on the other hand. our body cannot convert all of it into fuel. You need to be aware that too much fiber can cause health problems. Although you think of candy and ice cream as sugar treats. Try this for three days and see if helps reduce your craving for sweets. 30 percent from protein. Carbohydrate preloading is starting each meal with a starch or carbohydrate such as potatoes. proteins and fat in a more moderate ratio. In other words. and anywhere from 55 to 75 percent of our calories should come from complex carbohydrates. Perhaps the key to this new dietary thinking is moderation. Finding this perfect balance requires you to try different dietary formulas until you find the one that works best for you. Read Chapter Eleven to learn more about fat and how it affects your health. 8. eat less fat and more carbohydrates and you’ll lose weight. Extreme behavior. resulting in a reduction of fat craving as you continue your meal. Burning less fuel means those excess carbohydrates in your body get converted into fat. can clog your motor and slow you down. The next step is to eat slowly so that the early part of your meal lasts at least 20 minutes. beans. and for the last fifteen years Americans have been eating less fat and more carbohydrates. Eat more fiber. preloading is one way of assuring a high carbohydrate meal. Eat more fiber—at least 25 to 30 grams a day. an apple. In this scenario. beans. oat bran. What you think of as a craving for sweets is often a craving for fat. This high carbohydrate diet works for some people. and what remains gets converted into fat. Ultimately. and no more than 40 percent of our daily calories should come from carbohydrates. such as starving your body of fat. During this time the carbohydrates will activate your hormones. they are also often high in fat. brown rice and other fiber-rich foods. So. and also reduces cholesterol.healthy and fit. no more 15 to 30 percent of our calories should come from fat. Starving your body of calories induces your metabolism to slow down and it burns less fuel. whole grain bread without butter. protein and fat ratios runs something like this: 30 percent of your daily calories should come from fat. New research indicates that when we eat too much carbohydrate. the new trend in carbohydrate. Juicing your fruits and vegetables eliminates most of their fiber content so make sure to eat whole fruits and vegetables too. This model for weight loss claims that carbohydrates are the body’s fuel. Conventional wisdom says no more than 15 to 30 percent of our calories should come from protein. you will have to choose between a high carbohydrate diet or one that balances carbohydrates. it slows down the absorption of carbohydrates. this may be an effective way for you to control your fat intake. Fat is considered by nutritionists to be the primary enemy of good health. If you choose the high carbohydrate model.

You need taste and texture variety in your diet to experience eating satisfaction. But the good news is it only slows down two percent every ten years. That amounts to a cookie or a teaspoon of butter. and hide them from sight. put your utensils back on the table between mouthfuls. Your metabolism slows down with age. way in the back of your cupboards where they are more difficult to get to. you may be vitamin deficient. with little time between mouthfuls. refined sugar and junk food can cause vitamin deficiency—especially of the B complex. So if your activity level remains constant. 12. Cut back on calories. feel rejected. No matter how much you eat. You must satisfy your basic food needs or it will be very difficult to maintain a dietary program. all you have to do is reduce your calorie intake by two percent per decade. smooth and creamy. it takes up to 20 minutes for the “full” feeling to register in your brain. large bites and minimal chewing. The heaviest calories are to be found in alcohol. and extend your mealtime with conversation.800 caloriea-day diet would only have to be cut back 36 calories. If you must stock undesirable foods. To minimize second helping temptations. Coffee and diets high in carbohydrates. Limit your access to undesirable foods. if you eat a whole meal of lowfat diet crackers you will not be satisfying your basic food needs. 11. If you eat quickly. which tend to calm you down. Satisfy your basic food needs. You already know the story on the dessert and fat. In other words. you’ll experience the same “full” feeling. stressed. Avoid temptation by limiting your access to undesirable foods. If you will chew your food slowly. Read about the power of vitamins. and from a list. We all crave different eating experiences: crunchy. you have established a “fat” eating pattern. but will have eaten less. 10. Eat more slowly. Be on the offense—not the defense—at the supermarket. salty. That way it will be easier to resist undesirable food. And anything you can do to turn your negative emotions into positive emotions will help you resolve your weight problem and improve your health. Eat well before doing your grocery shopping. A glass of wine contains as many calories as a piece of Boston cream pie. don’t keep food in your work area. 13.9. Take vitamin supplements. You must learn to pick foods that will serve you. Avoid those tempting aisles. an 1. or if you are otherwise dealing with negative emotions. desserts and fat. which in turn results in the consumption of more food before you feel satisfied. put them out of sight. mega-vitamin formulations. or you will have little chance of . Shop as seldom as possible. Health food stores offer antistress. instead of family style. serve the food pre-apportioned on the dinner plates. At work. If you are bored.

and it is through a more intelligent use of your mind that you can break the appetite chain. and few of us ever experience it. Are you bored with your work. If you are an overweight. Instead. which won’t happen for at least six hours after eating an adequate meal. If nothing else. What we think of as hunger is really learned appetite. find a civic project you can support. If you attempt to lose too fast you may suffer quick regains. if you are bored it is time to get more involved in life. Get more involved in life. the most important thing you can do for yourself is to deal with your stress. your social life? Overeating generates gratification which helps you to compensate. which can produce a soothing effect. Stress causes people to gain weight and keeps them from losing it. Not only are you deficient in nourishment and energy. If you want to lose weight. You need to be aware that appetite and hunger are two different things. Real hunger results from the physical need of nourishment. 14. and your digestion stops to conserve energy. exercise and behavior modification. Define exactly your weight loss goal. 16. absorption. Then to compensate. When stressed. generating a never ending cycle. you overeat. there is no efficient nutrition replenishment. Eat a variety of healthy whole foods and you will feel satisfied and eat less. anxious and likely to hold anger inside. The greater your self-control. Self-control can be learned if you’ll just break it down into three stages. Researchers have found that boredom triggers eating in people of normal weight and those who are overweight.maintaining any weight loss. and food assimilation. The result is poor digestion. 15. Three: phrase your goals using positive terms—decide what you are going to do. Both overeating and under-eating are common symptoms of stress. tense. Start a stress-reduction program. Overeating also is known to draw blood away from your brain. be aware that overweight people tend to be more repressed. it is time to learn about self-actualization through reading or involvement with a human potential organization. your body prepares for fight or flight. Learn self-control. not what you shouldn’t do. So. First is clarity of intent. . your relationship. Real hunger also doesn’t last very long. Read Chapter Five and incorporate stress reduction meditation or self-hypnosis sessions into your life. the more successful you will be. Two: plan for your goal one step at a time. it is your mind that craves the food. stressed-out person. Also. The next three weight loss tips relate to the three things necessary for permanent weight loss: diet. The idea is to incorporate this awareness into selfcontrol.

and silently in your mind say. This technique assures positive instead of negative subconscious programming. As an example. do anything as long as it’s safe and gets you moving.17. “Success Opportunity. Try not to expect instant results. and ideally avoid the menu which was written to sell you on ordering more than you need. If you always sit in one particular chair and grab a snack. Always try to choose real food over processed foods. Exercise! Exercise does promote weight loss. take a different route. try not sitting in that chair and see what happens. activities. and I will accomplish my goal. Go for a swim. If you always drive certain streets so as to pass your favorite fast food chain. 20. Even if you hate exercise. Become aware of the eating stimuli in all of your environments. Don’t eat while watching television.” Stop. So. Join a gym. Think about this very carefully. Any physical exercise. So. say to yourself. 19. More than likely you’ll get up and create an activity for yourself. Positive begets positive. Begin by walking for ten minutes on a treadmill.” Then.” Then. Use the exercise machines with the expectation that you won’t look like a pro your first time out. Change behaviors. will both distract and serve you. Exercise is more effective than dieting to get rid of excess weight. if you catch yourself thinking. visualize yourself having already accomplished your weight loss goals. ride a bike. Always notice self-defeating thoughts immediately. When you think negative– use a thought stopping technique. 18. if you crave a snack. Start an exercise program today. But don’t give up. and say these words to yourself. To break the appetite chain. Prevention magazine has a national walking club you may want to investigate. maybe finish that project you’ve been meaning to get to. does doing certain things cause you to feel hungry? What about being with certain people? Once . from a walk to stretching. it is critically important to think only positively about accomplishing your weight goals. Know that you are dealing with appetite. Patronize restaurants that only serve healthy food. not hunger. You might even consider putting your bathroom scale in the kitchen next to your refrigerator. or individuals to stimulate your urge to eat. You have probably allowed particular places. “Every day I lose a little more weight.” Then replace the negative thought with a positive one. begin to modify your behavior in response to the desire to eat. There are many books on the market that will provide you with all you need to know. The thought stopping technique is based on the idea that every thought programs your subconscious mind. chew gum or brush your teeth. negative begets negative. Set the table and treat yourself to a nourishing well-balanced meal. If you are eating with others it might be wise to order first so you aren’t tempted by the orders of the other people. A bath or a nap could also help you resist temptation and change your habit patterns. “Success Opportunity. Consider your eating triggers. “I’ll never lose these extra pounds. start walking. You can’t change what you don’t recognize.

Limit your access to undesirable foods. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. When you think negative—use a thought stopping technique. 2. Eat different foods. Take vitamin supplements. Maintain your weight loss by establishing an internal warning system if you begin to backslide. Eat more fiber. Change behaviors. Not only can monitoring clue you in as to when eating problems occur. Examine your beliefs about weight. plan around it by eating healthy before seeing these people. Eat more slowly.you have this awareness. Cut back on calories. 8. Get more involved in life. 11. Satisfy your basic food needs. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of losing weight. Eat many small meals instead of the three standard meals. 20. protein and fat in your diet. Start a stress reduction program. 21. 14. . 9. Take the “Cocoa Pulse Test. Learn self-control. It is also very important to enlist help from your family and friends to support you in your weight loss goals. Lose Weight Summary 1. 16. 10. 18. The final chapter tells you how. 15. or keep all food out of the environment. it will also encourage you to try harder if you are faltering.” 3. 17. 12. Find the proper balance of carbohydrates. 7. Consider your eating triggers. 4. 13. 5. 6. Exercise! 19. Investigate undetected medical causes for being overweight. and you will be encouraged by your success. Uncover the psychological cause. Chart and monitor your weight loss efforts precisely.

” “I eat smaller portions of healthy foods.” “From this moment on.“I manifest the self-discipline to lose the weight I desire.” “I eat less calories than I use.” “My brain produces the proper levels of beta endorphins and seritonin for maximum health and ideal body weight.” “I now lose weight.” “I exercise regularly.” “From this moment on.” .” “I’m willing to make the lifestyle and dietary changes required to fulfill my weight-loss goals. my elimination system functions normally. I eat only at meal time.” ”Every day I lose a little more weight.

2. Effective stress-reduction techniques. An ill body occurs when the harmonious balance of mind and body is upset. while guilt is a product of our society—the results of judgments and evaluations based on social customs. such as meditation. not just the disease. Read Chapter Two which offers valuable tips and techniques on ways to reduce stress. Prolonged stress reactions like these can lead to complete exhaustion of the autonomic nervous system. biofeedback. Fear and anger evolved from basic survival instincts. Nervous strain and emotional tension are stressors. Emotional factors interfering with mind-body interaction are fear. Be more cheerful and optimistic about life. The body reacts by shutting down activity in the digestive tract. Extra red blood cells are discharged from the spleen into the circulation to carry more oxygen to the muscles.C H A P T E R S E V E N Think Yourself Healthy You are born with self-corrective potential for health. both mental and emotional. expectations and values. All other negative feelings are directly related to these. Studies show that optimists tend to be less bothered by physical symptoms than pessimists because optimists cope more effectively with problems and experience fewer stress-related symptoms. Lower your stress levels. lowering your immune response to disease. How a situation is perceived is more important than the actuality of that situation. When an individual interprets a situation and forms an assumption. 1. The reverse is also true: if you have a physical symptom for very long. how you think and what you feel influences your physical health. Blood shifts from the abdominal organs to those essential to muscular exertion and activity. This chapter will help you discover the infinite potential for self-healing that lies within you. you must treat your entire self. . Examine your attitudes. Because your mind and body are inseparable. progressive relaxation. it will change the way you think and feel about everything else. Be more cheerful and optimistic about life. But you can think yourself healthy. Learn to detach from these negative emotions and allow them to flow through you without affecting you. Deeper breathing and dilation of the lungs’ bronchial tubes occur and blood sugar flows out of the liver to answer the body’s increased energy demands. positive thinking. and self-hypnosis will help you deal with stress. anger and guilt. a key component of the immune system. that assumption continues to operate without his conscious knowledge. and increased heart muscle contractions occur. Stress-produced adrenaline turns off the thymus gland.

6. Try to diminish your reaction to what you read or hear by one-half. Although it’s important to safeguard your health and protect your body. and a variety of contagious and infectious conditions. read books about health when you’re interested in improving your physical well-being. How do you handle it? Try not to personalize the events. Peaceful sleep is vital to allow your mind to continue the healing process. fear and guilt. Examine your self-image.3. Become aware of your breathing.” recognize that it is a random coincidental event that has nothing to do with you. you must ask for and receive your own permission to change. Keep a healthy perspective. An injured or low selfimage can allow you to accept a state of bodily imbalance as normal. Instead. ask yourself whether you have any control over the situation. Become aware of your breathing. Get the proper amount of sleep. don’t become fanatical about it. Practice deep rhythmical breathing once a day for several minutes to bring fresh oxygen into your body. Don’t neglect or ignore your health. The end result is a lowered immune system response. Put the events in perspective by challenging irrational beliefs. Forgive yourself and others in order to release the past. for it will soon become your reality. 4. Since you are the creator of your own self-image and are the only one capable of changing it. It’s fine to educate yourself and be well-informed. Release the negative emotions of anger. Don’t discuss your ailments at great length. How you react to bad news. Take the same good care of your body as you do expensive electronic or other equipment. and express gratitude and thankfulness for that health in advance. lack of control and futility. It eliminates carbon dioxide and other waste products while strengthening and renewing your entire body. Avoid reading books about disease all the time—the knowledge of everything that can go wrong can make you view even the most trivial symptom as a life-threatening disease. If the answer is “no. Learn to love yourself. Your body is a more valuable investment than anything you own. Notice . Be reasonably vigilant and accept that a certain amount of risk is part of being alive. 5. Discussing your ailments at great length is boring as well as being very negative programming to your subconscious mind. Lack of sleep undermines your entire nervous system. such as disasters and catastrophes presented on TV news broadcasts and in the newspaper can lead to feelings of helplessness. every step of the way. making you more susceptible to emotional stress and strain. but it seems that people who constantly read books about disease believe they have the symptoms of every ailment described in the book. Self-image plays an important part in the state of your health. 7. Read the newspaper in the morning instead of the evening and don’t listen to news or watch it on television before you go to bed.

breathe with greater calmness and peace. mind and spirit! 10. With each inhalation. As many as sixty chemicals may be added to the water by water-treatment facilities. It blocks feelings of apprehension and panic that can accompany serious illness. Release the negative feeling and let it flow out of you. anger and negative emotions are strong immune system depressors. it frequently contains pollutants and agricultural wastes. eliminate distractions and unnecessary noise. 11. and positively affects your health by helping you maintain a balanced perspective. Laughter can be the best medicine. Positive physical effects include lowered blood pressure. Breathe out stress and tension. A quiet environment is essential. Avoid very aggressive or competitive exercise. which is stressful and can injure the body. Be less critical of others. depression. Resentment breeds illness. such as fertilizer and insecticide residue. Exercises such as yoga. Good drinking water is important to good health. Exhale tension. Focus mentally on relaxing with each breath. lime. Do things that make you laugh. . Make yourself comfortable and progressively relax your body. not them. Drink clean water. Relax and rest at least a half hour a day. feel yourself becoming happier and more content. Harmful bacteria may also be present in tap water. Because most tap water comes from streams. An ideal time is immediately after your deep breathing exercises. copper sulfate. Half an hour of quiet relaxation or meditation performed regularly gives your body a chance to recuperate and keeps the immune system strong. So have fun. Fear.the frequency and depth of your breathing. heart and circulation. Let go of all tension in your body. including chlorine. Laughing makes things seem less frightening and overwhelming. Meditate. 8. fluorine. Gradually increase the depth of your breathing as you slow the rate. Do this to the point where you are breathing in what you feel is the most relaxing and calming pattern for you. especially when it does not affect you or is no concern of yours. calmness and relaxation. Breathe in calmness. as well as nitrites. done in moderation. better muscle tension. rivers and reservoirs. 12. t’ai chi. Laugh. Feel yourself blowing away the pressures and stresses of the day with every out breath. improved digestion and elevated mood. watch funny movies or read funny books. Walking one or two miles a day can help your lungs. 9. running and aerobic dancing provide beneficial exercises for the body. is a cornerstone of health. you’ll be the one who gets sick. Don’t get upset and excited over every little thing that happens. By resenting others. See yourself inhaling energy. dwelling on perceived injuries and hanging onto anger. Maintain this focused breathing for at least ten breaths. Exercise! Proper exercise. and lots of it.

and for normal mineralization of bone. regulation of stress and fatigue. fruits and their juices. our bodies can heal themselves. Wellknown journalist Norman Cousins was able to overcome two life-threatening diseases by using megadoses of vitamin C. immune system responsiveness. the regulatory mechanisms of the body that deal with the absorption of food are thrown out of balance. This balance is known as the pH of your body. is essential for normal intestinal absorption of calcium and phosphorus from the diet.” which means it contains mineral salts. water may be “hard. When eating habits get tied up with boredom. 14. Good health begins with good nutrition. which is really a hormone. in the body. An imbalance towards acidity can lead to serious health problems. Get out into the sun. The best known biological effect of sunlight is the production of vitamin D in the skin. This vitamin. Food is basic to vitality and health. and dampening of . Dairy products are neither or both. Vitamin C is the single most important vitamin to your immune system because it is the anti-stress vitamin. Reread Chapter Four on ways to make your diet a healthier one. air and water. liver and kidneys. It is literally a nutrient to the body. Incorporate this vitally important vitamin into your healing regimen. This is water that has been boiled. it acts as a solvent to help clean out the arteries. and activates other important biochemical events in our bodies such as the timing of our biological clocks and circadian rhythms. It is important for full development of your immune system’s defenses against disease and hence beneficial to general health. Additionally. Acid foods are starches. some of which can be injurious to health even though they occur naturally. sugars. anger or feelings of worthlessness. Be aware of your eating patterns. everything that is not pure hydrogen is removed. Alkaline foods are vegetables. It stimulates the adrenal glands and increases the production of cortisone. loneliness. is to drink distilled water. including bottled spring water. sexual growth and development.aluminum sulfate and sulfur dioxide. taken with lots of laughter. 15. The best way to avoid the many chemicals and indigestible minerals found in water. The diet recommended by the American Cancer Society is an alkaline diet. lungs. control of viral and cold infections. Let your body obtain its minerals from organic fruits and vegetables. depression. Vitamins fortify and enhance our body’s own protective mechanisms. allowing it to grow properly with a minimum of disease. The result is pure water. then re-condensed. Nutritionally balance your lifestyle. learn what your body needs to maintain life and health. In this process. With a little natural help. Sunlight helps the pineal gland to relieve depression. Take vitamin C. In the human body. Achieve a balance between the acid and alkaline components in your body. Along with food. 13. converted to steam. An alkaline diet aids the immune system. The pH factor indicates whether a tissue or fluid is alkaline or acid. Why and when you eat are as important as what you eat. sunlight is an important factor in good health. not from your water. most meats and fats. Many books are available on good nutrition. a hormone.

moves directly through the auditory cortex to the center of emotional responses. Examine your self-image. stimulating the flow of stored memory material across the brain so that right and left hemispheres of the brain work together. Listen to music. New age music and some classical music is appropriate for this therapy. Lower your stress levels. People who condition themselves not to cry are more susceptible to such stress-related diseases as ulcers. The final chapter tells you how. go ahead and cry. 18. 16. When you feel sad. 19. Bring lots of tender loving care into your life. Music therapy is the use of music to bring about changes in emotional or physical health. relaxing music with relaxation and visualization to explore imagery while in an altered state of consciousness. it is important for one to use sunblock if planning to be in the sun. Be more cheerful and optimistic about life. because it is nonverbal. A theory called “depth provocation” explains that music detours the ego and intellectual controls and directly contacts the emotional centers. You may lower your risk of developing serious disease by not suppressing your feeling. but rock and highly dissonant jazz are not. family and community may be the most important thing you can do to safeguard your health. Think Yourself Healthy Summary 1. quieting music produces pain-relieving peptides that bind to specific receptors in the brain. Of course. Use music therapy to improve your health. Tears shed in grief or sorrow carry off stress-related chemicals. Don’t discuss your ailments at great length. The process of hearing sounds involves many parts of your body: the ear. 3. a swim—far outweigh the negative.functional disorders of the nervous system. are necessary to obtain these beneficial effects. 17. Music opens avenues of nonverbal emotional communication. Tears are by-products of our body’s waste-removal system. Forming close personal ties to friends. Use soothing. Cultivate loving relationships. the neural connection to the brain and the reactions of the nervous system to sounds. We are all born with the need to love and be loved. 4. hardened arteries and heart attacks. Instrumental music. Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of thinking yourself healthy. . But the healing properties of a regular dose of sunshine—a walk in the park. Use self-hypnosis. Exposure to the full range of solar radiation. a bike ride. including the ultraviolet and visible regions of the spectrum. 2. Calming.

• Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. Be less critical of others. Get the proper amount of sleep. When you feel sad.” “My positive. 18. 15.” “I maintain a state of calmness and tranquility. Drink clean water.” “Every day in every way.” “Every day.” “My body knows exactly what it needs to stay healthy. I am healthier and healthier. Listen to music. loving attitude keeps me healthy. 13. Laugh. go ahead and cry.” “I let negativity flow through me without affecting me.” “My positive attitude keeps me healthy. Get out into the sun. “Radiant health is now my reality. Take vitamin C. 6. 17. Become aware of your breathing. Cultivate loving relationships. Keep a healthy perspective.” . Meditate. I love and care about my body and myself more and more.5. 8. 11. 14. and lots of it. 12. 9. 7.” “I know how to relax completely and release tension from my body and mind. Nutritionally balance your lifestyle.” “I visualize perfect health.” “I now use the unlimited power of my mind to become healthy. Exercise! 10. 16.

saunter over to your favorite book store. Park farther away from your destination instead of right in front. and are not necessarily the inevitable result of aging. Swimming. As we get older. reversed. 1. a stiffening of the joints. The more inactive you are the more difficult it becomes to do routine things like unloading the trunk of your car.C H A P T E R E I G H T Reverse Aging What would you say if I told you that men and women in their 60s and 70s can become as fit and energetic as people 20 and 30 years younger? You can look and feel years younger if you are willing to make simple changes in your behavior. begin an appropriate exercise regimen immediately. Walking is excellent for any age. Brisk walking can lower your blood pressure. and lifting light weights (3 to 15 lbs. This chapter will cover many areas—from the regenerative power of nutrition and proper exercise to the human potential concepts that will help you achieve what you really want out of life. and the skin thins and wrinkles. However. Go to the gym instead of a movie. and help you to lose weight. There are many opportunities to make the active choice every day. yoga. You just need to be reasonably active. The most important thing is to stay active. But the good news is that these changes accompany aging. There is considerable evidence that shows these aging effects can be slowed down. Take the stairs instead of the escalator. or picking up your child or grandchild. cycling. Walking rejuvenates you. like our other muscles.) can have a tremendous impact on how you look and feel. relieve arthritis. 2. our heart’s ability to carry oxygen and nutrients through the bloodstream steadily declines—approximately 50 percent between the ages of 20 and 90. Walking can decrease body fat and increase overall fitness. Develop your ability to consume more oxygen. Go for a stroll. gardening. Exercise! Exercise is the easiest and surest way of affecting how you look and feel. our cardiovascular and respiratory fitness is reduced. which you should obtain before making any changes in your lifestyle. Yet research has documented that this can be reversed with an intelligent exercise program. and in some cases. rowing. meander down to the end of your street. Studies show that you don’t need a particularly strenuous exercise program to achieve the equivalent of ten years’ rejuvenation. It only takes a few minutes a day and the benefits far outweigh the burden. and declines about one percent a year from age 30 on. Adequate oxygen is critical to your cardiovascular and respiratory performance. As we age. . Taking consideration of your age and physical ability. There is a loss of muscle and bone. the heart will stay strong and efficient if it’s exercised. It is not meant to conflict with your own doctor’s advice.

in our culture we need to relax more and reduce stress. did calisthenics and stretched three to five times a week. yoga and stretching exercises will assist you to act and feel younger. No matter what your age. This can be in the form of dairy products or supplements.A five year study of more than two hundred people from ages 57 to 87 was quite dramatic. and walking like they were in their thirties and forties. men and women in their 60s and 70s became as fit and energetic as people 20 and 30 years younger. More energy and regular elimination are other benefits awaiting you in a proper stretching program. I first studied yoga in the early ‘70s with a teacher in Los Angeles. California tested the effects of exercise and diet on a group of volunteers averaging 78 years of age. if at all. Twenty-six days into the test. Protect against bone loss. serum cholesterol dropped from an average of 222 to 179. Daily sessions are usually great therapy for backaches and stiff joints. 3. A longevity center in Santa Monica. unable to even bend over to pick up a newspaper. Some had been active all their lives. They walked. At about age 35 your bones begin to decline in thickness and strength. hypertension is practically unknown. Learn the key factors to reduce blood pressure.000 milligrams of calcium a day to maintain healthy bones. running. swimming—anything that will increase your aerobic capacity. Inactivity weakens bones. 5. in primitive societies blood pressure rises little. Eat a nutritionally regenerating diet and increase your calcium intake. You should also bring your weight down to where it belongs. Although in our society we’ve accepted that blood pressure creeps up as we get older. So consider fast walking. My teacher loved to relate stories of her students who would come to their first class. Your body will respond to exercise by strengthening your bones. Stretch and stay limber. The diet was high in complex carbohydrates and fiber. One study concluded that women over 35 need to take 800 to 1. In these societies. reduce your salt intake and get plenty of calcium. Research has also proven that exercise is doubly effective when combined with higher calcium intake. salt and cholesterol. and low in fat. As early as six weeks into the program. An easy way to reduce your blood pressure is meditation. calisthenics. jogged. She also spent two days a week conducting classes in a nearby retirement community. 4. triglycerides fell an average of 15 points and 9 out of the 18 participants with high blood pressure stopped using their antihypertensive (high blood pressure) medicines. A few months later. bicycle riding. aerobic classes. Proper exercise is obviously a key factor in lowering blood pressure. tension and hassles in our lives. pretzel-like yoga postures. but others had not worked out for years. The best way to minimize this loss is through dietary change and exercise. Obviously. not their seventies. they were capable of performing complicated. .

Sunlight is the primary factor in aging skin. Begin minimizing sun exposure and use a sun block on your face. it also causes wrinkles all over the face because nicotine constricts the capillaries that nourish the skin. Exercise increases the skin’s oil and sweatgland production. A small amount of this cream applied to skin rejuvenates and enlivens the face and skin. His research showed that those who spent 30 to 40 minutes a day working out on a small trampoline or jogging (using a sun block). thus slowing down the aging process. Although muscle tone declines more slowly than other aspects of fitness. There is a lot more than plastic surgery that you can do to improve the condition of your skin.6. be sure to closely monitor the effects of these lotions as they may irritate your skin. dermatologists say that wrinkling on the skin. Plus. It also eliminates toxins from the body that can dull the skin and cause pimples and other blemishes. James White explains that the cells in the base layer of skin become more active with exercise. Don’t be fooled by some cosmetics companies who offer preparations containing as little as two or three percent alpha-hydroxy acids. First. Find a video instruction tape or join a health club to learn routines you’ll enjoy and benefit from. are part of the aging process. Next. Creams and lotions containing vitamin C help your skin to synthesize new collagen. 7. The bags under their eyes vanished. Start with one of the lower concentrations and work up to the higher levels. He has measured the depth. . Improve the condition of your skin. had fewer wrinkles than nonexercisers. consider exercise—it will flush your skin with blood. and any other exposed skin. A routine of light weight lifting is often more healthy than using heavier weights. width and distribution of wrinkles in test groups of women. hands. Maintain muscle tone. Dr. neck. regardless of age. Three sets of ten using small free weights (anywhere from three pounds to fifteen pounds) will have dramatic results on your muscle tone in just a few regular sessions. the exercise group received an additional bonus. and spotting of the skin. Women have only to look at the underside of their breast to know what their skin would look like if it were not exposed to the sun. and between that of 40 to 58 year old runners. Two additional factors responsible for skin aging are improper diet and stress. sagging. Cigarette smoking is also harmful to your skin. Exercise naturally raises the temperature of your skin which increases the production of collagen. Not only does it assure vertical wrinkle lines in the upper lips. If you have sensitive skin. Look for products containing five percent or higher. Alpha-hydroxy acids can also be effective in plumping the surface skin cells and giving your skin a healthy glow. But studies have shown that there is almost no difference between the muscle tone and joint strength of 18 to 40 year old marathon runners. It is never too late to start using your muscles and reverse the aging process. Muscle strength generally increases up to about age 30 and remains stable until age 50 when it begins to decline. These low concentrations are virtually ineffective. In his book Jump For Joy. it will always respond to exercise. but age alone doesn’t cause them.

These experiences represent all of your programming. In addition to thinking yourself younger. you have to understand how you became stressed in the first place. Your mate is quiet and stubborn. 9. And it takes an aware person to recognize the difference. It does not understand that these pictures you send it are undesirable. not your fears and worries. we waste our time trying to change other people. Studies have proven that 75. you’ll lose it. Your brain doesn’t shrink or deteriorate with age. If you think of yourself as young and vibrant. Stress prematurely ages you. Gravity exists. often in opposition to your conscious desires. Exercise your brain. healthy and happy. Thus. You create a picture of yourself as old. your subconscious mind has made you what you are today—your talents and abilities. you will be younger and more vibrant. Be aware that any time you attempt to change your spouse. There are things you can change in life and things you can’t change. is. memories wholly retained in your subconscious memory banks. your career. if you are thinking more negatively than positively. Visualize your desires and dreams. Reread Chapter Two “Reduce Stress” to identify other stress factors in your life and how to eliminate them. you are responding to the illusion that other people and events are doing something to you. Thus. robs you of energy. and you are what you think. functioning as the result of programming. 10. More often than not. To learn how to unstress. Eliminate the stress and tension in your life. it’s what you think you are. your subconscious mind does not understand a negative command. that’s what is. There has been much suffering as a result of people resisting what is. Why? Because the subconscious has no reasoning power. Think of yourself as young and vibrant. The power of thought is the highest power in the universe. It simply operates like a computer. In other words. your friends. Every thought programs the computer—you have to think something before you can speak or act. but if you don’t use it. 11. and is implicated in an everincreasing number of serious health problems. It isn’t what you are that holds you back. you are literally creating a negative reality because your subconscious mind works in pictures. It has been directing you and it will continue to direct you. You are the sum total of all your past experiences from your birth to the present moment. problems and afflictions are the result of the intuitive guidance of your subconscious. Accept that what is. See yourself as strong. exercise will accelerate the process. The more the exercise generates oxygen to the brain. or your business. the more effective it will be.” Unfortunately. and then attach the message. “But I don’t want to be that way. Instead you need to change how you relate to these people and . But be warned—it also works the other way. your kids. So begin to think in positive images. that’s what is.to 85-year-olds can learn as fast as high schoolers. you have to exercise your brain just like the rest of your body.8. never in words or abstract concepts.

So. It could be sleep or exercise. healthy. if you want to be happy healthy. They simply trigger feelings that lie within you. Anyone can draw upon contemporary sexual technology for assistance if necessary. Positive thinking and positive input programs a positive life. we deprive ourselves of the essentials because we view them as luxuries. which are incapable of doing anything to you anyway. We all need to love and be loved. surround yourself with happy. Chapter Ten “Improve Your Love Life” goes into complete detail on this subject. Stay sexually active. This includes strict adherence to proper diet. On your own. What aren’t you getting enough of? You’ll have to review your current life to see what you’re missing. Reverse all the deficiencies in your life. as compared to those who receive estrogen alone. Reread Chapters Eleven on reducing cholesterol and Chapter Six. 16. After menopause. 15. Statistics show that generally.to 60-year-olds have active sex lives and two out of three men in their 70s are still sexually active. and many other considerations. and successful people. sex or proper diet. complete a deficiency review. . Research studies have shown that these women are twice as likely to be involved in a fulfilling sexual relationship. Nourish your primary relationship and be alert to signs of boredom and burnout. 13. If you want to be more youthful. Avoid negative people and those who dwell on their aches and pains. 14. “Lose Weight” for tips on how to do this. People who have experienced a heart attack have to change their way of living if they want to remain living. but it is equally important to examine your deeper psychological and physiological needs. Following are the twelve critically important considerations for permanent love: 1) LOVE: each will love as the other wants to be loved.circumstances. Negative thinking and negative input programs negative experiences—and prematurely ages you. 12. some women who experience reduced sexual desire are using hormone-replacement therapy that include testosterone. Why wait for a life threatening situation to cause you to make the diet and lifestyle changes you know will improve your health? Get your lifestyle nutritionally balanced. personal touch. Very often. We all need to do things that increase our self-esteem. 40. Obviously nutrition and exercise are important. Youthfulness and vitality will rub off on you. and successful. including a reduction of cholesterol and salt. Age is no excuse on this one. Nourish your primary relationship. Reduce all your excesses. associate with people who enjoy doing youthful things. 2) ACCEPTANCE: treasure the other’s uniqueness without expectations of change. You choose how you are going to react.

most of us are aware of our religious and political beliefs. “What are my deep-seeded beliefs about getting older?” Maybe you’ve been negatively programmed by observing some bad examples. but you need expert advice. and 12) SPIRITUALITY: foster each other’s spiritual growth. Your beliefs are not hidden. It doesn’t even matter if the beliefs are true or not. Obviously. and reversing the aging process. enjoyment in doing what you do. which is incompatible with karma. It is your beliefs that generate your thoughts and emotions that create all your experiences. discuss mutual needs and compromise on solutions. 10) TIME: share activities that serve as building blocks of a good relationship. Isn’t it time you programmed beliefs to make yourself younger? 18. 17. it is time to explore your level of aliveness. the question to be asking yourself is. 7) LISTEN: be willing to appreciate the other’s position even when you don’t agree. Let your union be a refuge of balance and harmony. Even if your relationship isn’t everything you want it to be. A good health food store is one place to find books on the subject. 6) COMMUNICATION: openly share yourself. and how these beliefs are creating your reality. but it is harder to pin down beliefs about how. Learn and apply the concept of aliveness. it doesn’t matter if the beliefs are true or not. emotionally and financially. If you believe something it becomes true for you—and it programs your subconscious mind. When life isn’t as fulfilling as you want it to be. They are part of your conscious awareness.3) COMMITMENT: both of you must totally commit to the relationship—physically. It’s the blood . Investigate all the anti-aging nutrients. Withholding reflects undermining doubts. 5) DETACHMENT: let the little things go. 4) SUPPORT: encourage each other in ways that increase self-esteem. You create your reality with your beliefs. instead of searching for emotional stimulation in a new situation. So. Remember. or you need to do your own research before purchasing vitamins. It will probably be much wiser to make some changes in your own internal standards. It’s just that they are probably unexamined because people don’t normally explore beliefs. seek joy and fulfillment in what you have before looking elsewhere. 8) COMFORT: be friends as well as lovers. 11) TRANSCEND BLAME: resist the expression of self-pity. or more often they accept them as facts. Maybe you’ve accepted some ideas that just aren’t valid. But the good news is this also applies to positive beliefs about aging. spiritually. who and what you are. Proper doses of vitamins and minerals can change your life. Most nutritionists suggest supplements. Aliveness is excitement. 19. 9) TRANSCEND ANGER: hostility arises only from the expectation of having things your way.

20. The final chapter tells you how. and it’s to be enjoyed. like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. They have goals they want to accomplish.. 22. Exercise! 2. You need to know that your mind can’t accept a mundane reality for long. Learn the key factors to reduce blood pressure. create it.pumping exhilaration. Your life’s work should be something that you do naturally and well . Maintain muscle tone. 3. health or career just so you’ll have the challenge of rebuilding it. and dreams they want to experience. Regardless of your age. it will subconsciously create some excitement to make life more interesting. or get involved in an exciting activity? What would you wish for? Don’t limit your thinking. one step at a time. are people who are excited and enthusiastic about life. 21. There are always many ways to experience something. . 7. Exercise your brain. you could just click your heels and make a wish. They are open-minded people with a sense of humor and strong self-esteem. Enjoy your work. Eventually.. Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of reversing aging.. Protect against bone loss. They are also people with personal discipline and a real sense of responsibility. cause you to have an accident. And they usually have a personal philosophy that gives their lives meaning. joy. find a new pastime/hobby. others gossip on the telephone. something you love to do. Something that brings you joy. 6. People who feel and act younger. challenge. What if. 5. 4. or create some other kind of complication. Stretch and stay limber. Use self-hypnosis. It can generate circumstances that will result in the destruction of your relationship.. Maybe we’re here on earth to learn that life is what we make it . Reverse Aging Summary 1. Improve the condition of your skin. And. and get sick less often then their peers. It might make you sick. Develop your ability to consume more oxygen. It will keep you forever young. Have you traded freedom and aliveness for security? Is your life so routine and dull you have to look for places to hide? Some people hide by becoming couch potatoes addicted to TV. 8. stimulation and pleasure that makes life worth living. Chasing dreams is for the young at heart. Some go to bars or seek out other empty distractions. to develop a new ability.

” .” “I choose to live a healthy lifestyle of proper diet and exercise. Investigate all the anti-aging nutrients. You create your reality with your beliefs. find a new pastime/hobby. 12. Stay sexually active. Learn and apply the concept of aliveness.” “One secret to reverse aging is proper diet and exercise.” “I no longer resist what I cannot change.” “I now eliminate all excess in my life. 20.” “I now act younger and feel younger. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.” “I now unleash the youthful vigor that lies within me. 10. 19. Reduce all your excesses.” “I really feel good.” “Every day I think more positively. Eliminate the stress and tension in your life.” “What I think I am creates my reality. Nourish your primary relationship.” “I am excited about life and I feel vigorous. “Every day I feel more youthful and enthusiastic.” “I now recapture my youthful vigor and enthusiasm. 16. 14.” “I detach from stress and allow it to flow through me without affecting me. 11. 18.” “I am as young as I feel and every day I feel younger. Avoid negative people and those who dwell on their aches and pains. 13. Think of yourself as young and vibrant. is. 17.” “I balance my life and my life works. Reverse all the deficiencies in your life. Regardless of your age.9. Enjoy your work. Accept that what is. 21. 15.

List the things you enjoy doing most. Some of these factors should be compatible with an ideal lover. such as loyalty. you must be prepared to create a relationship with a human being. But unless you have a sense of what you have to offer. beliefs. It’s important to realize that you deserve a loving relationship. There are things about others that turn you off and turn you on.. Then take a look at the two lists. and you live a particular lifestyle. Time and the dating process will help you to discover how the compatibility factors will work out.C H A P T E R N I N E Find Love & Create A Successful Relationship Do you know what you are looking for in a lover or a mate? What kind of person do you really want? You have likes and dislikes. Make a list of the positive qualities you would hope to find and the negative qualities that are not negotiable. List the characteristics you would like in your ideal lover. you are going to have a hard time projecting it to another person. make a list about yourself. positive and interesting to offer. Fine. Next. beliefs and attitudes. you must recognize that you have something unique. Recognize things that you have accomplished. values and interests. If you don’t love yourself. So the first step is to know what you want in an ideal mate. The idea is to illustrate what you have to offer in return. Then create an honest assessment of your positive traits. so spend some time putting it together. and thoughtfulness. 1. including appearance. Your expectations must include a willingness to love someone as they are. and you won’t allow a relationship to manifest. habits. together with your basic values. focusing upon your best qualities—your positive traits and your accomplishments. and values. Create A Positive Self-Image To establish clarity of intent. This list will be important to you in several ways. it is not going to happen. Are they in the same ballpark? You don’t really need to find a clone of yourself. in order to find them. and then to feel good about yourself as a person. but there should be a reasonable meshing of characteristics. you must create a positive self-image and become comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with someone you find attractive. If you don’t believe you are worthy of loving and being loved. humor.. If you want someone to fall in love with you. We are all unique and worthy of being loved. . not as you would like them to be. At the same time. dependability. not a fantasy playmate. even if they didn’t make the newspapers. you subconsciously won’t believe that anyone else could love you . So you need a clear picture of what kind of person fits your needs. Maybe you cannot handle someone who smokes or likes to bowl.

4) Be open and approachable. I’ll talk more about that soon. If you’re not 100-percent happy with the real you. clothing. If you remember to strike a balance between asking about them and telling about you. you want to find out about them and allow them to get to know you. Selfhypnosis as described in the final chapter is ideal for reprogramming your personality. It is a good way to suggest to others that you feel good about yourself. Your Traits. In addition to your inherited characteristics. and remember. But don’t compare yourself to the people on the magazine covers and in the TV ads. Forget the media image of what is appropriate and start to project the real you—the authentic you. 4. . your personality amounts to an interaction of your traits. and humor have nothing to do with looks. you have the power and ability to enhance who you really are. Strike A Balance Recognize that shyness and excessive concern about your image is a kind of selfabsorption. habits and viewpoints. looking your best. Try to be more interested in your date and a little less concerned about your own hairstyle or bald spot. realize that your personality is the sum total of all your past programming. If you were to take a charisma class to enhance who you are. Perhaps the most common problem with self-image today has to do with appearance versus the media and the culturally-accepted norm. the instructor would work with you on several points you can develop on your own. 3) Project self-confidence. As you get involved in meeting new people. Obviously. . 2. sensuality. thus they are alterable with new programming. sensitivity. And your concerns about your own imperfections will seem less important. not inherited. The following are the key factors for developing charisma: 1) Project an inner-warmth and friendliness. Express yourself. money or fame. 5) Be sensitive and allow others to know it. 2) Act self-assured and independent. These factors are acquired. having nice clothes and projecting a positive image is desirable. 7) Be secure enough to let your vulnerability show . Then you will find yourself attractive to others and on the road to a realistic and satisfying relationship. Habits and Viewpoints Are Alterable When it comes to enhancing who you are. 3. your unique qualities and enthusiasm for life and the people around you. The right way for you to be attractive is to relax and be yourself.Our self-image is created by a lifetime of feedback from the world around us. We are all bombarded with ads featuring beautiful people getting what they want by using particular products or wearing specific clothes. or with the assistance of self-change programming tapes. the relationship will progress more easily. Project Charisma Projecting charisma is an important part of connecting with people. 6) Project confident posture and assertive body language. Warmth. 8) one of the most appealing human characteristics is the ability to make other people feel at ease. .

such as seminars. environmental activism. don’t make the mistake of thinking you are too good for this. join a walking group. don’t let the opportunity slip away. Today. Personal ads can work. 8. if you screen them and are direct and honest about who you are and what you want. and other public functions.5. and hundreds of other subjects. Check the calendar section of your newspaper for special-interest events. Start a conversation. real-estate investment. As an example. Get A Conversation-Starting Dog Have you ever noticed how strangers feel safe in opening a conversation if you are carrying a cute child or walking a dog that is cute or in some way outstanding? It is . and then stop procrastinating and act to manifest the reality you want to experience. Some of those examining the most expensive displays might be good prospects. Opportunities are often fleeting. but you’re shy about making the moves. and the odds of meeting wealthy people are high. Personal Ads Work If You Use Them Correctly Put an ad in the personals and answer several you find interesting. Other ways to meet the wealthy might include attending the local auto and boat shows. use it to meet new people. this weekend there is a free event on reincarnation. if you are clear about wanting to meet someone with money.. The idea is to decide exactly what you want. or that you are not good enough. Also. Every city has adult education classes and they are an ideal place to meet someone who shares one of your interests. galleries. 6. Many others like yourself are extremely busy and this is their only opportunity to make contact. you have an opportunity to meet many attractive people every day. Hundreds are usually in attendance. Make a commitment to yourself. Or maybe they are too shy to approach others in public. This insures that you will be invited to all stock holder’s meetings. Be Creative About Meeting Eligible People Where do you meet someone like the person on your wish list? Use your lifestyle to your advantage. to act every time an opportunity arises. Change begins with action. Cultural activities also tend to bring out the money crowd. If you have a hobby or a sport you enjoy. If you enjoy the outdoors. And there are always museums. Another idea would be to get a weekend job in an exclusive store. And be creative in deciding how to meet eligible people. Even if you are not enchanted by your date.. with the Internet. Chances are. Whatever you do. so whenever an opportunity arises to meet someone attractive. be creative about your approach. you must act. Each gives you a chance to meet and talk with new people in a positive. or the Sierra Club. this is easier than ever. never decline an invitation to go out when the alternative is staying home. going out generates confidence . 7. If you make eye contact with someone interesting. Chances are. you can buy a few shares of public stock in many of the companies with home offices in your area. Seize the Moment Have a talk with yourself about seizing the moment. stimulating situation. and you never know who you might meet.

simply say. “I probably called at a bad time. do it. ask them what they know about the movie. If you desire to establish a primary relationship. Then of course. 10. If you’re a man in a health club. 9. you need to accept that fate isn’t going to send the love of your life storming through the door while you sit at home. and you haven’t already told your married friends that you’re looking to meet new people. make sure you look good. Make notes about the individuals and their interests on the back of the card. Move on to another person and another. Take one of those faceless voices to lunch. Give Up Perfectionism If you want a relationship. And you have to rise above your illusions. Share a task with someone. People love to give their opinion or share their expertise. give them yours. It could be a personal project. school. showed that . shave and put on some bronzer.almost magical. “It’s been great talking to you. There is a natural match-maker in all of us. And they might already be involved with someone else. or civic project. the more flattering. Obviously. you can always arrange to meet some of your office phone contacts.” Few people will refuse. you have to act. If you’re standing in a movie line next to someone attractive. A way to find good prospects without risking rejection is called the “calling card routine. Make sure it is a good time to call. Research proves we tend to mentally judge new people within seven seconds of meeting them. ask for some advice about the equipment. Using this technique. the better. If you’re looking for a relationship. so get a conversation-starting dog and walk it through the areas populated by the kind of people you want to meet. the more people you will meet of the opposite sex—through their friends. Make sure your clothes are flattering. an activist situation. Working together builds a bond. and most people will ask for yours in return. Let me leave my number and you can call me when you can talk. ask the woman next to you for some nutritional advice. The more friends you have of your same sex. If they don’t have a card. If you hear any resistance in their voice.” If they don’t ever call. If you’re a man. And if you’re walking the dog or taking your wash to the laundromat. Spend no more than five minutes talking to the individual and then say something to the effect of. and see if you can set up a date for lunch or dinner. 11. Go up to the most likely potential lover. You never know when you’re going to meet that special person. co-workers and at parties. or volunteer. Next. Research studies of single people who suffered from loneliness. until you have gathered several cards within a short amount of time. may I have your business card. If you’re a woman in a health club.” The idea is to go where there are a lot of people—a single’s bar or any crowded environment. it is an easy rejection. If you’re a woman wear makeup. Ask Direct Questions Direct questions are a great conversation starter. phone the people you like best at their offices. you could cover several locations in one evening. Share A Task With Someone Here is a great way to develop a relationship. Just open your eyes to all the opportunities around you to get involved with others.

there was a payoff in keeping things exactly as they were. Cooking regular meals was an awful idea. What is your real priority? You know that if something is not a high priority. She hated the idea of washing a mans clothes. Making the time to find a lover means making a commitment to working toward that goal in realistic ways. If you get what you want. 12. What is . Find Ways to Make Time The primary excuse for not developing a relationship is. you need to explore any hidden payoffs to remaining single. maybe you are fooling yourself about what you really want. or a baby-sitter. things will change. resolve it through logical evaluation. do some extra work so you can hire a maid. that means giving trust and acceptance to someone and loving them as they are. Perfectionism is not a positive trait in establishing relationships. from the outset—a sense of intimacy and sharing without effort. to give yourself more time. “I don’t have enough time to start looking for one. If your life has not been working in the way you want it to.” But you can make time by eliminating something else that is less important. So. It also turned out that their loneliness was less related to the actual number of dates or partners that they had. Second. I once processed a woman who said she wanted to find a mate and develop a meaningful relationship. you probably spend a good percentage of your time being busy being busy. The time problem is all in your mind. This doesn’t mean that all goes smoothly at every moment. 14. contemporary therapy suggests that you need more realistic approaches to your goals. If this is the case. not as you’d like them to be. The usual feeling that signals a true-love relationship is recognition—talking to someone that understands you and what you are trying to say. budget your time. You need to reprogram or reeducate yourself so that your actions promote inner-harmony rather than disharmony. If you’re looking for love.they had rigid and demanding expectations about their relationships. Like everyone else. She was extremely overweight and did nothing to make herself look more attractive. What are the changes you won’t like? Any psychological blocks will be found among the changes you won’t like. But a basic willingness to accept people as they are is the beginning of unconditional love. Working with her revealed that if she did find a mate. or a gardener. A Realistic Assessment is Essential Examine attitudes that will blow your potential union out of the water. Obviously. The first step in removing a block is to bring it to the surface. or with mind programming. 13. Ask yourself how much of your routine is essential and how much is habitual. it keeps getting bumped to the bottom of the list. Check your calendar and start eliminating things you do just to keep busy. or the help of counselor or therapist. but to their own inability to accept and enjoy others. Habits can be eliminated. If necessary. Explore Any Hidden Payoffs to Remaining Single Maybe proceeding any further. she felt that he would be possessive and restrict her activities. She would never tolerate a man watching football games in her living room. and doubted she would enjoy his family and friends.

there is very little chance of making a fool of yourself or having your date go badly. your odds are overwhelmingly in favor of you finding and dating eligible partners. And deep inside. or fear of success. Getting into the swim of dating does include the possibility of emotional hurt. 16. You end up being right back where you are now. you don’t really have a problem.right for you in a relationship is not necessarily what is right for someone else. just a little confusion about your goals. “What if I go out with someone and act like a fool?” Or. when you want. “What if I don’t know what to say?” Or. you might even change your mind. But we all seek love and acceptance from other human beings. why not? If you are not enthusiastic. If the advantages of a relationship don’t win out. But the worst thing that can happen to you is your efforts will not produce what you want. remember that the unknown always contains risk. you need to understand any psychological blocks that are working against you. Compare them very carefully. if not necessarily the permanent kind. should you fall in love and not find it reciprocated. you know it. While the possibilities of failure and pain exist. your fear involves failure or rejection. you are probably being blocked by some basic fears. And by following these guidelines. fear of rejection. But as discussed in tip 12. Then. And there are no real requirements for . For example. If you are afraid. Act By The End Of This Week Are you prepared to begin a new program to find a lover by the end of this week? If not. But wouldn’t you agree that even that would be a small price to pay? Wouldn’t you also agree that the chance of success is worth the risk of the pain? You are not really that fragile. The Unknown Always Contains Risk If you do want a relationship. Who knows. 17. Explore the Advantages of a Relationship Versus Remaining Single Make a short list of the major benefits of having someone in your life. 15. You Will Survive and You Know It The other kind of fear that people experience is performance. Fear of success means that you are still ambivalent about finding someone and entering into a serious relationship. Do these two lists opposite of each other on the same sheet of paper. If you don’t pretend to be someone you are not. having had some interesting and rewarding experiences. without having to deal with another person in your life. In that case. Conversely. you must believe that the reward is well worth the risk involved. You do what you want. list the advantages of remaining single. such as fear of failure. “What if I can’t perform sexually?” What will happen is that you will survive. despite some sense of risk. the possibility of never finding someone also holds the possibility of another kind of pain. You’ve adjusted to being single over a period of time and there are some apparent benefits. That’s perfectly normal. you can still use this information to find a good relationship. 18.

but to love and be loved is the deepest psychological need in human beings. a warm. Twelve Tenets For A Successful Relationship How do you make sure that the relationship is successful once the bonding is established? Obviously nothing about human relations can be guaranteed. Be willing to discuss needs and compromise solutions. or tense. cherishing the passion and joy. spiritually. Before reacting negatively. DETACHMENT Let the little things go. “I’m glad you said that. When you begin seeing someone. growth-oriented. “Does it really matter or am I just acting out of a need to be right?” COMMUNICATION Openly communicate and share yourself.. In the ideal relationship. if you feel uncomfortable. 20. while allowing the negativity to flow through you without affecting you. long-term relationship: LOVE Love each other as you would be loved. both partners maintain their integrity and individuality while—through their union—increasing the potential to become all they are capable. physically. . Also. learn to hear what isn’t being verbalized. chances are your partner is experiencing something similar. LISTEN Listen to each other and be willing to appreciate the other’s position even when you don’t agree. emotionally and financially. your date will probably say something like. Before we were married 19 years ago. ask yourself. This is critical to a good relationship. beyond common curiosity and common sense. COMMITMENT Totally commit to your relationship—mentally. Withholding reflects doubts that will undermine the foundation of your union. SUPPORT Support each other in ways that increase self-esteem. I was feeling the same way. my wife Tara and I developed 12 tenets we felt would increase the odds of a establishing. The greatest gift you can give each other is to be all of who you really are.. fulfilling.performance on a first date . shy. If you mention your uneasiness in a relaxed way. ACCEPTANCE Treasure each other’s uniqueness and accept each other as you are without expectations of change.” Then the ice is broken and you’re just two human beings getting to know each other. for to love another you must love yourself. or even a fifth date.

Ask direct questions 10. Give up perfectionism. Find Love Summary 1. 4. TRANSCEND BLAME Blame is an expression of self-pity and only makes matters worse by programming your subconscious mind negatively. Find ways to make time. Get a conversation-starting dog. . 21. Strike a balance. habits and viewpoints are alterable. 18. 14. You will survive and you know it. Explore any hidden payoffs to remaining single. 12. 15. 3. Project charisma. Seize the moment. 20.COMFORT Provide comfort to each other in the midst of worldly concerns. 16. 2. 5. The unknown always contains risk. Share a task with someone. 9. Act by the end of this week. 7. SPIRITUALITY Encourage each other to evolve spiritually. A realistic assessment is essential. Personal ads work if you use them correctly. Shared activities are the building blocks of a good relationship. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of finding love and creating a successful relationship. Through faith. “I am angry because I had expectations of gaining approval or control in this situation. you can transcend the darkness and attain peace of mind. Explore the advantages of relationship versus remaining single. Your traits. Be creative about meeting eligible people. 11. 6. Create a positive self-image. TRANSCEND ANGER Rise above anger by saying to yourself. The final chapter tells you how. 8. 13. These are not my rights. Twelve tenets for a successful relationship.” TIME Always make time for each other and find fulfillment in the current moment. 17. Be friends as well as lovers and let your union be a refuge of balance and harmony.

” “I am ready to give and receive unconditional love.” “I project self-confidence and independence.” “I am clear on my intent to meet the perfect lover.” “I project sensitivity and vulnerability.” “I will treasure my lover’s uniqueness and totally commit to the relationship.” “I now seize the moment and act immediately to meet people.” “I project warmth and openness.• Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.” “I will comfort my lover and make time to spend together.” “I willingly commit the time and energy necessary to find a loving relationship. and I will be a good listener.” “I will detach from negativity and let the little things go. “I now create the space in my life for the perfect love relationship.” “I will openly communicate and share myself.” “I will love my lover as I would be loved.” .” “Finding the right love relationship has a top priority.” “I now focus the power of my subconscious mind upon drawing the perfect lover into my life.” “I will support my lover in ways that increase self-esteem.

Do things separately. waiting for others to take the initiative so they can react. yet committed to the partnership. anger and envy. Do things together. You need to take the time to nourish yourself emotionally and psychologically. share a crossword puzzle. Support each other in ways that increase self-esteem. Remain independent in spirit. 2. Activity builds a strong foundation for a good relationship. These activities should be other than having sex or watching television together. you get as much out of a relationship as you put into it. work on a shared hobby. You may fear you will be rejected or your attempts may fail. but at least you become an active participant and know you gave your best. Always challenge yourself with new learning that will support your self-esteem. 1. But many people would be thrilled just to find themselves in a relationship that is not a source of pain or anguish. socialize. This is critical to a good relationship. couples often experience the fear-based emotions of jealousy. Yet they talk of love. 3. fulfilling relationship in which shared experiences encourage mutual growth and happiness. joyful. Maybe you won’t succeed. And if you feel good about yourself it is much more likely that you will feel good about the relationship. Individual activity is essential for the personal development of each partner. Rather. Provide comfort to each other in the midst of worldly concerns. cook a gourmet meal together or do something you both enjoy. they live life at minimal risk. Responsibility is the basis of transformation. Get out and exercise together. Like any aspect of life. Don’t wait for your mate to effect positive change. . Even when the relationship doesn’t breed conflict. Most people don’t take the initiative in their lives.C H A P T E R T E N Improve Your Love Life What kind of relationship do you desire to establish? Is it time to change how you view your relationship? Everyone wants to have a warm. for to love another you must love yourself. When you can be friends as well as lovers your union will be much more likely to serve as a refuge of balance and harmony. Positive change must begin with your efforts. possessiveness.

settings. Today. or exhausted to put a great deal of energy into feeling sexy. ovaries and breasts than those experiencing active sex lives.4. Tell her you want to read her some erotic passages from a book. One person doesn’t know how the other really feels because there has been no direct discussion of the subject. Communication between the sexes has never been easy and today. even if we think we don’t. statistics show that nuns and women who abstain from sex have more cancer of the uterus. Realize the importance of sex– make time. make it important. Begin the foreplay outside of the bedroom. with both men and women working it’s a wonder we have any time at all for intimate exchange and contact. Either it is too difficult to say what we really feel or both people assume they know and have thus established distorted concepts and behaviors based upon their own inaccurate viewpoint. in your mind’s eye. longlasting relationship. We all know how to flirt. And. If you allow other things to be more important. . Use it to create sexy situations.. Talk sexy and make sexy requests. and some experts say it even slows the aging process of the skin. If that’s the case it’s time to end the conflict and begin rebuilding your relationship by showing that you care. The greatest aphrodisiac is a loving and caring relationship. Flirting is playing . and body language. voice inflection. Your mind is the most erotic organ in your body. or if you feel unwanted you may turn to food to fulfill your needs. Food and sex both provide physical gratification. Realize that a dull love life may be the result of other problems in your relationship. There are no rules and it’s all a matter of personal taste. When you don’t experience enough touching and tenderness. the modern working woman is often too tired. chances are you aren’t going to experience first-rate sex. 5. Men are no different. Take time for honest verbal communication in which real sharing takes place.” Tell him you’re not wearing any panties. So make sex a priority in your life. Don’t wait until bedtime to start thinking about sex. it’s a come-on. fights. A relationship history of conflicts. But lack of communication is often the primary cause of problems. If you’re a woman ask him to unzip your dress. busy. Allow erotic thoughts to flicker in your mind throughout the day.. The hectic pressures of dealing with career and family make it difficult to sustain love and passion in our modern world. “I want to make love to you right now because I feel so turned on by you. Flirt with each other using clothing. Be attentive and appreciative. or say. but make the effort to make the effort. Plan your lovemaking times so you have the energy and imagination to give it your best. This can lead to a more exiting sexual encounter later on. Compromise and mutual confrontation of problems is critical to a successful. and unresolved hurts is going to dampen your love life. Sex is a great reliever of tension. sex benefits your heart just as aerobics do. As exercise. eye language. Evidence suggests that sexual contentment can normalize irregular menstrual cycles and alleviate PMS.

6. “There is so much that I enjoy about our sex life. As long as you exert enough effort you can hold it down. It will surface when you grow tired of resisting it. Follow this with the same uninterrupted communication.A good place to begin communicating is with a listening lesson. your partner will become defensive. listen to the tape together—to what is said and to the tone of your voices. Never approach the discussion negatively. start the discussion by saying.. and it will surface in an undesirable form. and then full non-defensive communication. or with blame. often these things are lifelong behaviors that the other person doesn’t even recognize as bothersome. Honestly communicate your needs. However. Really communicate. full non-defensive communication. Repressed sexual energy can become perverted or turn into anger. but that often isn’t the case. Try to communicate with a generous spirit. and then give your lover a chance to respond. Instead. When you’re both done. In your particular situation it may be difficult to ask your partner to really talk openly. wishes and fantasies. you’ll get tired. followed by questions only. A mask of repression. The second step in the listening lesson exercise is to communicate with each other as you would normally. Then it will be your turn to talk for ten minutes. If you do. You may feel that your partner should know these things without being told. honest communications are critical to improving your love life.. The idea is to come up with ten things about your partner that bother you. And again. what you repress never goes away. and teaches both of you to listen with an open mind. Neither of you are allowed to make any statements. you will only be able to phrase your responses in the form of a question. If you can challenge yourselves to participate in this exercise. but eventually. but only ask questions. . When discussing sex with your partner. These are usually more emotional circumstances and require patience and the willingness to accept personal responsibility. this is followed by questions only . but what about considering some ways to make it even better?” And once you start talking. Don’t expect your lover to read your mind. desires. This exercise blocks you from responding defensively. But you can broach the subject by offering to let them speak uninterrupted for ten minutes. but tape-record the conversation. Talk about your sex life. The fourth step is to verbally communicate or write down five relationship situations that upset you so much you haven’t been able to get over them. It’s like holding a rubber raft under the water. Then. The third step can be verbally communicated. talk for short periods. take a chance and share your needs. a fear-based emotion we all experience. you’ll talk to each other. or written for those who find it easier to write than talk. Then after 30 minutes. If you don’t you are wearing a mask. you will be amazed at the progress you can make. After trading lists each of you is allotted uninterrupted communication time. each of you is allowed ten uninterrupted minutes to tell your partner how you feel about the recorded communications. then. Even if it is difficult for you. The only way to eliminate repression is to be direct and honest in your communications. it may be necessary to let your mate know that you’re talking about something very important to you. Open. This step in the exercise should be given an adequate amount of time to assure that your list is not motivated by anger or fear.

People are predictable. and often makes sex a problem issue. and there should be no judgment involved. Most fantasies are never manifested. such as in a public place.. Fantasies aren’t good or bad. or you must talk to your lover about your own security needs. One third of all men have had a homosexual experience to orgasm. 7) A threesome with her husband or lover and another woman. Here are eight of the most common female fantasies... 5) A threesome with his wife or lover and another woman. It is only health concerns and social pressures that keep us from expressing what we really are. No masks. Statistics indicate much higher percentages of people who would like to have a homosexual experience but do not out of fear or lack of opportunity. Express yourself sexually. Here are some facts based upon six sexual studies: Eighty-two percent of women masturbate. Over a third of all married women have had an affair.. according to several surveys: 1) Sex with a man she hasn’t had intercourse with. they just are. 3) Group sex. At least 20 percent of all women have had a homosexual experience to orgasm. and it might turn on your lover. If this is the case you need to make your partner feel more secure. But .7. and 8) Watching a woman perform in an enticing way. so there should be no fear in expressing them. and 8) Sex in a nonsexual place. 3) Sex with two or more women simultaneously. a threesome or a lineup of men. has fantasies before and during sex. And vice versa. It is believed by many of the most prominent sexual researchers that each of us is inherently bisexual. or that they’re the only one who does this. or thinks that. including having sex with another woman. 4) Other women’s bodies or making love to a woman. 7) Sex with a younger woman. 6) A threesome with his wife or lover and another man. So many people worry that they are weird. But sharing your fantasy will surely turn you on. Eighty-three percent of men masturbate on a regular basis even if they’re married. 8. enough sex. 5) Being coerced into having sex with a man. 2) Past sexual experiences. They are almost identical: 1) Sex with a woman he hasn’t had intercourse with. 4) His wife or lover having sexual relations with another man. If they won’t admit it. Insecurity is based on the belief that you won’t ever have enough: enough love. Statistically then. including your wildest fantasies. 6) Having sex with more than one man. Don’t be afraid to share your sexual fantasies. 2) Past sexual experiences. This lowers selfesteem. Now here are eight of the most common male fantasies. Life is insecure. yet each of us worries about being an exception. Share everything. enough attention . love is insecure. but the most you can ever get from your lover is for them to be all of who they really are. This means you must be all of who you really are. Realize that sexual problems result from repression. most couples are having the same fantasies. Over half of . they don’t feel secure enough to share themselves totally. we all do the same things. at least on occasion. and only a small percentage of these were because of deep emotional dissatisfaction with their husbands. Everyone. Having a wild fantasy doesn’t mean it has to be expressed in reality.

You either want the other person to approve of actions or desires . One major poll claimed 72 percent. One percent of women have been involved sexually with an animal. health and happiness . The idea is to stop judging yourself and stop judging others. And. It’s time to ask yourself. to be who you want them to be. nor can they expect another person to be anything other than what they are. swinging. Expectations are rarely in your best interest. than to take responsibility for their life. Statistics are more difficult to obtain in other areas of sexuality. Give up needing to be right. These are just some facts about “what is” with sex. There is no right or wrong. But blame is nothing but an expression of self-pity. less than once a week.. Let go of expectations. and unable to enjoy the experience for what it is. or hurt or mad. Stop blaming. And blame always makes matters worse. Two out of three men in their 70s are still sexually active. It is easier for many people to blame others and fate for their circumstances. Garbage Out.. But the biggest problem with expectations relates to other people. leastwise by programming your subconscious mind negatively. and 60 plus. and to play the part of the victim. a couple in their 20s are likely to have sex every day. you’ll be disappointed. 11. threesomes. 30-to 40-year-olds have sex between two and three times a week. Everything you consider saying or doing is quickly run through your memory banks.. such as group sex. And what about the average frequency of sexual intercourse? Statistics show that generally. Thus. you get upset. No one can change someone else. Your subconscious mind is programmed for you to be right.all married men have had an affair. S&M. “Does what I do sexually work for me? Does it manifest love. It operates like a computer.. comparing the present to related past . because when the experiences don’t live up to your expectations. 40-to 50years-olds once a week. or you want to control their actions or reactions.. The subconscious mind operates like a computer. Objective norms don’t really exist. In data processing terms this is “GIGO: Garbage In. When this doesn’t happen. the forced change will not last. It does not reason on its own. Most people enjoy oral sex and a good percentage enjoy anal sex. you’re not abnormal if none of the fantasies or statistics relate to you.” So the idea is to give up all blame. et cetera . But millions of people have had these sexual experiences. It simply responds to programming . It is absolutely impossible to change another human being unless they want to change. Whenever you expect someone else to be the way you want them to be you are looking for trouble.. There are only two reasons to get upset with another human being. So waiting around in expectation won’t get you anywhere. the other person is forced to repress who they really are. it will generate negativity. Since long-term repression is impossible. 10. The happiest couples are those who take full responsibility for their lives. When you attempt to change someone. or it will result in new eruptions of unsatisfactory behavior.. and its most basic programming is to survive. You want approval or control. if you program it with negativity.. and does it allow me full self-expression?” 9. Surely you don’t want to be forced to be the way someone expects you to be.

it cannot be wrong. attention span and motivation were also positively affected by exercise . Eat more fresh vegetables. If you feel that stress is dampening your love life. But you are the same way. 12.” This acknowledges his rightness and can take him off of tilt. Since your subconscious mind operates like a logical machine. learning and brain function. By becoming aware of your programming you can begin to detach from the buttons that cause you to act like a machine . like a robot. and pasta products. So if you are not already involved in an exercise program. chicken or turkey. Even moderate physical activity is accompanied by positive mental and physical changes. A healthier body will result in an improved love life. Begin immediately to investigate this subject. It has wiring and circuits that are set up so that when a button is pushed it reacts according to programming. calisthenics and other physical recreation show significant improvements in intelligence. When you give up the need to be right. let the other person be right.. all of which indirectly relate to a better love life. Until you can move him past his need to be right. Nutritionally balance your diet. All too often non-orgasmic women simply tire out before they can orgasm. cereal.. after millions of years. Sometimes you can do this by simply saying. Stress causes a testosterone decrease in males and falling estrogen levels in females.. Even if you only incorporate the new government dietary guidelines you’ll be served. The problem is they are overwhelmed by their nonsexual problems. your computer gets to be right and you lose the game. Being challenged pushes your button and you instantly need to be right. It just needs to be right to protect itself. speed of performance. you need to start a stress-reduction program. An excess of foods containing sugar and refined white flour will eventually rob you of your health. replace red meat with fish. it is time to start one. Also eat fresh fruits and 100 percent wholegrain bread. for when you did something similar in the past you survived. if only because it enhances endurance. A robot has no choice in the way it acts. So the only way it can function is to make you feel correct. there can be no real communication. Exercise! Physical fitness is a definite advantage in the bedroom. Studies measuring mental function after a ten week program of jogging.experiences. . as well as decreased depression and lowered anxiety. to respond to stress first and sexual needs later. “Yes. I understand that you feel that way. and your sexual appetite. Your computer says it is all right for you to do what you do as compared to the past. they probably wouldn’t have survived. Start a stress-reduction program. chances are you’ll start winning the game. your energy. So. Some say this is a sign of our times.. Read Chapter Five “Reduce Stress” and begin the stress reduction program outlined. Your subconscious computer doesn’t care if you get what you want out of life. Eliminate junk foods. Marital therapists claim that couples of all ages are finding themselves too stressed to make love to each other. 13. Memory. many of them raw. knowing this. Avoid foods containing cholesterol. So. 14. Then he can focus upon the problem at hand. To be wrong threatens its survival. We are also genetically programmed. If our early ancestors hadn’t given priority to stressful situations.

The idea is to respect each other’s needs and compromise. but you must investigate your particular needs very carefully. which reduces the blood supply to the penis. RNA. so your relationship is always evolving and changing. 16. 17. And fighting won’t destroy your marriage if you stop fighting to win and use these conflicts as an opportunity to clarify misunderstandings and learn what you both need. Realize too. both you and your lover will change over the years. Take your lover’s hand when you’re watching TV or attending a movie. Resisting change is unrealistic. You have to show it. DNA. and vitamin supplementation in particular. and stay tuned in for another hour or so. You can also ask two or three different health food stores for their suggestions. Also. Actions speak louder than words. Vitamin supplements can be purchased in any health food store. Investigate by reading or visiting a good holistic nutritionist. bromelain. and it can reduce a man’s ability to maintain an erection. Snuggle up together when you’re reading in bed. Feeling love is not enough. it does nothing to enhance function. Alcohol is a depressant causing sedation and anesthesia and although it may lower your inhibitions it also decreases sexual function. .Investigate sexual nutrition overall. Nicotine constricts the peripheral blood vessels. Both people need to realize that no one gets exactly what they want out of the union. 18. As an example. And if opportunities to touch don’t arise naturally. People don’t live happily ever after without working at it and really communicating. L-cysteine. and to verbalize your love. Also. create situations to fit your needs. Heavy alcohol or tobacco use will interfere with sexual function. Give up your vices to improve your sex life. Take your TV set out of your bedroom. for male sexual function. sod. Maybe your partner gets annoyed when you want to turn off the set. but research proves that isn’t so. Male and female sexual function is related to basic body chemistry and if you are not getting enough of specific vitamins and minerals your body can sexually shut down. Marijuana may cause people to think they perceive more sexual intensity. zinc. Long-term nicotine intake causes increased arteriosclerosis which will cut down the blood supply even more. research shows that while marijuana distorts the sense of time and lowers inhibition. in addition to the commonly known vitamins. selenium. Beware of accepting some of the major myths about marriage. manganese. All too often you get involved in a show. Take advantage of opportunities to make physical contact. show your love. the body needs iodine. 15. choline and inositol. or you both watch the show until you’re so tired that you no longer have the energy for sex. Identify your myths. that touching doesn’t necessarily need to be an invitation to have sex. making it more difficult to get an erection. Or maybe the newscast is so depressing it kills the mood.

Fully commit to your relationship. This really boils down to your viewpoint. It is acquired. spiritually. And your viewpoint is the deciding factor in whether you will experience life harmoniously or disharmoniously. start winning the game. You choose how you are going to view what you experience. 22. Talk about your sex life. Instead. . Fully commit to your relationship—mentally. Do things together. Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of improving your love life. 6. Do things separately. Realize the importance of sex—make time. if the toilet seat is up or down or if the toilet paper rolls down the wall as it is pulled off the roll. can you still value your lover for his or her unique qualities? • Do you view your lover in a husband or father role . 3. opposed to viewing them as the fully rounded individual they really are? • Do you want to change your lover? • Do you blame your lover for your current love life? Your answers will show you the areas you need to work on. Take time for honest verbal communication in which real sharing takes place.. or a wife or mother role. A self-strengthening question and answer process. 21. Use self-hypnosis. 2. Your viewpoint is the sum total of all your past experiences. make it important. not inherited. physically. opposed to judging your lover negatively? • Do you view your lover in a societal role opposed to as a person? • Although your lover’s personality and needs may conflict with your personality and needs.. Keeping one foot in the safety zone will also keep you from ever experiencing your combined potential. Withholding reflects doubts that will undermine the foundation of your union. Support each other in ways that increase self-esteem. 20. Thus it is alterable. Let the little things go.19. The final chapter tells you how. 4. It really doesn’t matter if the lid isn’t on the toothpaste. Take the self-strengthening test. Be big enough to detach from the silly things that amount to getting to be right. 5. Improve Your Love Life Summary 1. emotionally and financially. the first question is to see how self-centered you are: • How often do you judge yourself negatively.

8.” “I support my lover in ways that increase self-esteem.” “The greatest gift I can give my lover is to be all of who I am. 10.7. Give up needing to be right.” “I rise above anger by asking myself. Exercise! 14. Let go of expectations.” “Every day I use opportunities to show my love. 12. 17. “I accept my lover’s uniqueness without expectations. 16. 13. Fully commit to your relationship. Start a stress-reduction program.” “I listen and am willing to appreciate my lover’s position even when we don’t agree. detaching from negativity. Identify your myths.” “I totally commit to my relationship. 18.” “I would rather win the game than be right. Let the little things go.” “I now nutritionally balance my diet and make exercise part of my lifestyle. Stop blaming. show your love. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. 9. Don’t be afraid to share your sexual fantasies. ‘Am I seeking approval or control?’” “I always make time for my lover. 19.” “I realize that a loving and caring relationship is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Take the self-strengthening test. 15.” . Take your TV set out of your bedroom. Actions speak louder than words. 20. 11.” “I let the little things go. 21.” “I communicate what I want directly and honestly. Express yourself sexually. Nutritionally balance your diet. Give up your vices to improve your sex life.” “I am open to communicate and share myself.

especially women past menopause. Lipoproteins: In the bloodstream. If it occurs closer to the brain. and start on the road to a healthy heart and lower cholesterol. women should also be concerned about their cholesterol levels. Although men are most at risk. The liver produces cholesterol and it is found in certain foods. and eventually create a blood clot or barrier that stops the flow of blood. which you should obtain before making any major changes in your lifestyle. cholesterol is a wax-like fat found in all the cells in the human body. removing excess cholesterol and fat from artherosclerotic clots. it’s important to understand what cholesterol is and why it can be deadly when high levels are found in the blood. the single factor most affecting your heart’s health and whether or not you will develop coronary heart disease. cholesterol is transported to and from the cells on special carriers called lipoproteins. Unless you have a congenital heart defect. It is a vital constituent of cell membranes and nerve fibers. in a fairly short period of time by making appropriate lifestyle changes. Others think HDL acts as a scavenger. without drugs. let’s define our terms: Cholesterol: According to the American Heart Association. it can build up a plaque-like substance in the arteries. If you have too much LDL. a heart attack results. Some think HDL carries the cholesterol away from the arteries and back to the liver where the body eliminates it. High Density Lipoprotein (HDL)—The Good Cholesterol: About one fourth of blood cholesterol is carried by a different kind of lipoprotein: HDL. This is called atherosclerosis or heart disease. and also serves as a building block for many hormones and important tissues. Before you can make these necessary changes. What is not . slowing their growth.C H A P T E R E L E V E N Reduce Cholesterol For A Healthier Heart This information is not meant to conflict with your doctor’s advice. a stroke. Heart disease is still a major cause of death in women. You can lower your cholesterol levels and decrease the risk of heart disease easily. The experts don’t always agree on how HDL works. There are different kinds of lipo-proteins: low density lipoprotein (LDL) and high density lipoprotein (HDL): Low Density Lipoprotein (LDL)—The Bad Cholesterol: LDL is the primary carrier of cholesterol in the blood. If this happens near the heart. Coronary heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States. is your blood cholesterol level. Having too much cholesterol in your body can be very dangerous. To better understand.

and in limited amounts. Levels can vary because test methods can give slightly different results. and conversely. People with heart disease have high triglyceride levels. and sunflower oils. Saturated Fat: The American Heart Association believes that saturated fat is the main dietary culprit in raising blood cholesterol. divide 200 by 50. which stimulate the production of low-density lipoprotein (bad cholesterol) and raise total cholesterol levels. divide the total cholesterol by the HDL. and palm and coconut oils are all saturated fats. but it is also produced by the body. Have your serum cholesterol tested. Many margarines and spreads are made from these oils and should be used instead of spreads made from saturated fats. the harder it is and the more cholesterol it will form in the body. then average the results. Too-plentiful use of polyunsaturated fats can lower beneficial HDL and boost tryglycerides. sesame. get a lipid profile. cotton seed. The ratio of total cholesterol to HDL should be below 4. Plus. such as butter. To reduce the risk of heart attack.or monounsaturated oils. and should be added to the diet in a ten. For example.to fifteen percent ratio. Polyunsaturated Fat: Polyunsaturated fats come from vegetables or seeds. soybean. Monounsaturated Fat: Monounsaturated fats lower total cholesterol and LDL levels as effectively as polyunsaturated fats without lowering HDL or raising tryglycerides. Animal fats. but use them in moderation. But not everyone with high tryglyceride levels have heart disease. the labs conducting the tests can vary. Cholesterol Levels Less than 200 milligrams per deciliter 200-239 milligrams per deciliter 240 and over Good Borderline High . polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats and oils depends on how many hydrogen atoms are in the chemical chain. It comes from the food we eat. safe levels are considered to be 180 milligrams per deciliter or less for people under age 30. and high density lipoprotein levels. corn. This measures your triglycerides. hydrogenated shortenings and margarine. Have two or three tests done at two-week intervals. To calculate the ratio.5. The more saturated a fat. They lower LDL and serum cholesterol levels. and 200mg per deciliter or less if you’re over age 30. Your ratio is 4. 1. In summary. The degree of saturation in saturated. and include safflower. If your total cholesterol level is higher than this or you have a family history of heart disease. walnut. Use only poly. low levels of HDL increase the risk. if your total cholesterol is 200 and your HDL is 50. Generally. lard or hydrogenated shortenings. Tryglycerides: This is the fat in your blood.disputed is that high levels of HDL lower the risk of heart attack. the goal is to have low levels of low density lipoprotein and high levels of high density lipoproteins. it is important to maintain low levels of tryglycerides. They are found in canola and olive oil.

Choose extra or super lean when buying ground beef or buy ground turkey. Modify your diet. Food preferences are not instinctive. which are very high in saturated fats. Instead. etc. heart. Following are specific healthy changes you can make in your diet. Prime grade meat is as high as 50 to 60 percent fat. veal. . sausages. Red meats include beef. the more fat it contains because meat is graded by fat content. where it will become a natural. butter. Although it may seem overwhelming at first. Such high-fat dairy products as whole milk. lamb. This allows you to incorporate each step into your lifestyle. When you buy meat. It is also the easiest to modify. as are luncheon meats. ice cream. It’s helpful to make a chart listing your present diet on one side and your goal on the other. such as those recommended by the American Heart Association. cream. keep the portions small—three to four ounces of cooked meat. brain and kidneys are cholesterol-rich. marbled steaks. These leaner meats are as flavorful and tender as the other grade meats when prepared properly. select good grade meat and trim all visible fat from the meat before cooking. no more than three times a week. Only foods of animal origin contain cholesterol. Simple dietary changes. Instead of red meat. If your diet has been very bad. healthy habit. This will provide positive feedback and encouragement as you approach your healthier heart target. roasts and chops. Reduce cholesterol intake to less than 300mg per day. cholesterol and fat—is the single largest risk factor affecting your heart. while choice grade is 35 to 40 percent fat. Egg yolks are probably the best known source of cholesterol. The typical American diet—high in calories. and pork. sour cream. Hang this chart on your refrigerator and keep track of each food you eliminate or add to your new diet. will quickly and dramatically lower cholesterol levels. with cholesterol and fat values beside each item. 3. they are learned behaviors. tongue. you can learn to choose healthy foods that are good for your heart. ham. Eat shrimp in moderation—it’s low in fat but high in cholesterol. make changes a step at a time.LDL Levels Less than 130 milligrams per deciliter 130-159 milligrams per deciliter 160 or higher Good Borderline High HDL Levels 40-50 milligrams per deciliter 50-60 milligrams per deciliter Less than 35 milligrams per deciliter Average Male Average Woman Low 2. If you must eat red meat occasionally. and most cheeses are cholesterol-laden treats to be avoided. Exceptions: goose and duck. substitute fish or white meat poultry without skin. chicken skin. Organ meats such as liver. be aware that the more expensive the cut.

instead of frying foods in fats. Limiting cholesterol intake without limiting saturated fats can still result in high cholesterol. palm oil or lard. Many contain hydrogenated oils to keep them firm. EPA. If all the calories you eat in one day equals 100 percent. Buy a nonstick skillet and use a vegetable cooking spray to coat the pan. halibut. You could potentially sabotage your diet as well—people tend to abandon diets that don’t contain enough fat because fat not only gives food flavor but provides a feeling of fullness by slowing the emptying of food from the stomach. these essential fatty acids reduce clot formation in the coronary arteries while lowering tryglyceride and serum cholesterol levels. Reduce your fat intake. flounder. bonito. are mainly found in cold-water fish: salmon. then scrape off the fat that rises to the top before reheating. five to ten percent should come from polyunsaturated fats. and simmered meat sauces a day ahead. Eat foods rich in EPA or omega-3. then switch to skim milk only. haddock. stews. Broil. Another way to reduce your fat intake is to check the ingredients in your margarine. Use skim milk and lowfat or nonfat milk products. Place meats on a rack while roasting or baking so the fat will drain. To determine the number of calories that come from fat. bake. Use nonfat plain yogurt to replace the sour cream and butter on potatoes and the mayonnaise in salad dressings. These new labels make it easier to differentiate between low fat and high fat content foods. a hormone-like substance that controls clotting and artery spasms. Avoid those made with hydrogenated oil or containing coconut oil. By thinning the blood and making platelets slightly less sticky. evening primrose oil and linoletic acid from soybean oil. sardines. and within that 30 percent. versus poly. and even break the fat down into percentage of saturated or bad fat. they do all the calculating for you. EPA is a precursor to prostaglandin-3. In an attempt to make them more user friendly. Scientists have demonstrated that the anti-clotting effect depends on . Your body needs a certain amount of essential fatty acids. the total calories from fat per serving. 5. less than ten percent should come from saturated fats. cod. Obtain these beneficial results by eating EPA-rich fish two or three times a week. Make pot roasts. or omega-3 fish oils. Buy a margarine with liquid vegetable oil as the first ingredient on the label and containing partially hydrogenated oil.4. and ten to fifteen percent should come from monounsaturated fats. These new nutrition fact labels note the total calories per serving. or boil. then the percent of calories from fat should only be 30 percent. If you are used to whole milk. If you don’t like fish you may supplement your diet with two to three grams of fish oil per meal. tuna and mackerel. Chill. pompano. Read labels carefully to determine both the amount and type of fats in packaged foods and baked goods. which it can’t make and must get from food. mix it with skim milk for a few days to get used to the lighter texture and taste. Fat contains nine calories per gram or 100 calories per level teaspoon. the FDA has made significant changes in the nutrition information labels on packaged foods. Don’t try to completely eliminate fat from your diet. multiply the grams of fat in a serving by nine then divide by the total calories in the serving.and monounsaturated fats—the preferred fats. New research centers on a group of beneficial oils: omega-3 fish oils (or EPA).

lowering blood pressure and maintaining regularity. dried beans and peas—appears to lower cholesterol by absorbing certain fatty substances in the gastrointestinal tract. Cut down or eliminate refined sugar from your diet. rapidly converting to triglycerides in the bloodstream. Although sugar has no cholesterol and is fat-free. There is enough salt in the foods you eat to provide the small quantities needed by your body. “low salt” or “no salt added. so anyone with heart disease of any kind should use alcoholic beverages sparingly. a digestive fluid composed of cholesterol. 7. Cellulose and other insoluble dietary fibers found in grains. What’s moderate and how much is too much? Moderate is defined at about one and one-half ounces of alcohol. Evening primrose oil contains about nine percent gamma linolenic acid. once digested it is converted into triglycerides. muffins. pepper. which affect the production and deposit of cholesterol in your arteries. Replace the salt shaker with a spice shaker or use lemon juice. Evening primrose oil can be purchased in capsule form at the health food store. it has the same effect on your blood as sugar. and other herbs and spices make good salt substitutes. Experiment with different flavors while cooking: garlic powder (not garlic salt!). and it lowers overall cholesterol production. 6. which lowers cholesterol and LDL. This increases the liver’s output of bile.” 9. More than that has a negative effect on heart function. barley.the dosage of fish oil in relation to other kinds of polyunsaturated fats. Recommended dosage: one gram per meal. onion. so adding salt is not necessary. So do not alter the amounts of polyunsaturates in your diet when you add fish oil. Eat a high-fiber diet and be sure to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. Although alcohol contains no cholesterol and saturated fats. Drink alcohol in moderation. Cut down or eliminate salt in your diet. oats and rice bran. which in turn are converted into cholesterol. Start by cutting back before quitting. Salt is an acquired taste and habit. breads and pancakes. Sodium elevates blood pressure. Several studies indicate the body converts the eight percent linoletic acid in liquid soybean oil into the same omega-3 fatty acids as those found in fish oils. Another vegetable oil containing about ten percent linoleic acid is canola oil. Alcohol is also a mild depressant of the heart muscle. Eat oat and rice bran in the form of hot and cold cereals. Never salt food before tasting it. causes excess fluid retention and worsens symptoms of congestive heart failure. One-half to one cup of beans . Water-soluble fiber—the kind contained in fruits. Also. fruits and vegetables are helpful in cutting cancer risk. 8. refined sugar’s empty calories have almost no nutritional value. Read the labels on processed or packaged foods and select items labeled “low sodium”. not the absolute amount of fish oil consumed.

which contain the water-soluble fiber pectin. take niacin. reducing elevated blood pressure. People with liver disease. Plus their versatility makes it easy to eat plenty. Eat brewer’s yeast. prevents chromium deficiency. It also elevates HDL levels in the blood when taken in high doses. If you smoke. long a staple in health food stores. Learn about herbal extracts. niacin. and lowering cholesterol. Be sure to get an adequate supply of minerals in your diet. You don’t have to start with the full eight glasses.000mg to three grams daily. See what’s right for you. which regulates blood cholesterol. as well as antibiotics interfere with magnesium absorption. but start today. which is related to heart disease. It’s . Good sources of these minerals are fruits and vegetables. or add a chelated mineral supplement to your diet. a B-complex vitamin. Cigarette smoke’s carbon monoxide dramatically increases the risk of heart disease. hawthorn. 14. And don’t forget apples. Stress also increases your magnesium requirements. Because these doses can cause skin flushing and itching. Smokers who quit begin to reduce their risk of death almost immediately. can effectively lower total cholesterol. cayenne pepper. While certain foods. 10. as a soup. beans and nuts. 12. 13. digitalis and other heart medications. seafoods and whole-grain cereals are rich sources of magnesium. You can start to increase your water consumption over the period of a week to let your body adjust. Potassium supplements and additional calcium can protect against elevated blood pressure in salt-sensitive people. Brewer’s yeast contains a complex of chromium and several amino acids. After one year’s abstinence. HDL blood levels will be approximately those of a nonsmoker. gout or peptic ulcers should not take large doses of niacin. Magnesium is one of the most promising minerals in blood-pressure control studies. constituents of lecithin. ginger and European mistletoe have proven successful in treating cardiovascular conditions by dilating coronary vessels. LDL and triglyceride levels. other factors rob your body of magnesium: phosphates bind magnesium in the bowel and prevent its absorption. grains. Keep hydrated by drinking at least eight glasses of water a day. such as leafy green vegetables.eaten daily as a main meal. It also contains high levels of choline and inositol. As reported in the journal of the American Medical Association. Herbal extracts of ginkgo. 11. or tossed into salads will make your cholesterol levels plummet. Brewer’s yeast. yet the average American consumes only about 40 percent of the recommended daily allowance of magnesium. Diuretics. If it doesn’t pose a health risk. Low-magnesium diets are linked to high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease. quit now. start with low doses and increase slowly to a level of 1.

go ahead and cry. it is just as important that you try to be more cheerful and optimistic about life. acting as a gentle massage and helping to keep the blood flowing while lowering blood pressure. It blocks feelings of apprehension. When sad. 17. The socially isolated—unmarried. Tears shed in grief or sorrow carry off stress-related chemicals. progressive relaxation. Stroking and caring for animals helps you be more optimistic and has . Lower your levels of stress. worsen migraines and aggravate preexisting ailments. family and community.never too late to quit. Develop close personal ties to friends. or that you can’t change your hostile ways. such as meditation. and the liver produces more blood sugar. Monitor situations that trigger irritation. Major depression activates physiological processes that decrease the resilience of the heart muscle. Symptoms are extreme sadness or hopelessness. get a pet. positive thinking. divorced or widowed people with few close friends and little or no social contacts—are three times more likely to have serious heart disease. insomnia. Eliminate the stress and tension in your life. If you do become angry. loss of interest and pleasure in most activities. Prolonged stress reactions can lead to complete exhaustion of the nervous system. and helps you maintain a balanced perspective. Release critical. begin to take immediate steps to relieve the depression. apathy or suicidal thoughts. Safeguard your heart by developing close personal ties to friends. Hostile people more frequently experience very high blood pressure and adrenaline surges when confronting daily challenges that merely annoy most people. people in their midfifties or older who quit dramatically reduced and even halved their risk of heart attacks. The personality traits of anger and hostility cause high blood pressure and heart disease. 16. panic and depression. Use stress-reduction techniques. don’t eat—excess chemicals generated by the body can cause fat in the meal to deposit in the blood vessels. judgmental attitudes towards others. potentially triggering a heart attack. Get rid of the old beliefs that you need hostility to get ahead in the world. Compared to those who continued to smoke. If circumstances keep you from having a close. and self-hypnosis to help you deal with stress. family and community. Learn to express affection and admiration for family members and friends. While it is important to express your darker emotions. 15. aggravation or anger and learn to respond with understanding. Laughter has positive physical effects on the heart muscle. loving relationship with another person. Learn to reduce the number and intensity of stressful incidents in your life. Cholesterol value rises during emotional stress. Don’t get upset over little things. Laugh. Studies show that optimists tend to be less bothered by physical symptoms than pessimists because they cope more effectively with problems and experience fewer stress-related symptoms. Loneliness and social isolation is a high risk-factor for heart disease. If you suffer from any of these symptoms. compassion and forgiveness. Learn to express your emotions. adrenaline causes harder heart contractions and artery spasms.

which is 85 percent of the maximum heart rate based on your age. One 325mg aspirin tablet taken every other day can help prevent heart attacks and benefit those who have already had a heart attack. Being more than 20 percent over your ideal weight increases your risk of developing heart disease and high blood pressure. rowing. 3. and alleviating depression. high-fat. Aspirin inhibits the manufacture of a substance that makes platelets sticky. causing blood clotting. Avoid highly aggressive or competitive exercise—it’s stressful and can injure the body. smoking. Exercise at least three times a week for a minimum of 20 minutes at your training heart rate. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of lower cholesterol. such as high blood pressure. and hostile personality traits. And it reduces other risk factors. Pet owners with heart conditions have half the mortality rate as those without pets. 19. 2. . Modify your diet.a beneficial effect on the cardiovascular system. Reduce your fat intake. 21. such as sedentary lifestyle. high cholesterol and LDL levels. high-cholesterol diets. Chapter Six outlines a weight loss plan. cross-country skiing. Exercise! Regular aerobic exercise provides protection against heart disease by conditioning the heart and circulatory system. 5. Drink alcohol in moderation. Diet and exercise can reduce the fatty tissue in the body. Eat foods rich in EPA or omega-3. Reduce Cholesterol Summary 1. The best aerobic exercises are brisk walking. 18. Cut down or eliminate refined sugar from your diet. 4. 7. lungs and muscles. People with bleeding tendencies. Bring your weight to where it belongs. Take aspirin. and aerobic dance. The final chapter tells you how. It also improves the oxygen efficiency of the heart. peptic ulcers or allergies to aspirin should only take it on the advice of their physician. 6. Have your serum cholesterol tested. stationary cycling or outdoor bicycling. and multiplies other high-risk factors. reducing their chance of a second heart attack. 20. swimming. Reduce cholesterol intake to less than 300mg per day. Exercises such as yoga and t’ai chi provide spiritual and emotional boosts as well as beneficial exercise for the body.

loving attitude keeps my heart healthy. 17.” . 11.” “I know how to relax completely and release tension from my body and mind. quit now. family and community.” “I exercise my body regularly to keep my heart healthy. 14. fruits.” “Consciously and subconsciously. Eat brewer’s yeast.” “I now use the unlimited power of my mind to reduce my cholesterol level.” “I visualize perfect health. Cut down or eliminate salt in your diet. 13. 10. Eat a high-fiber diet and be sure to drink at least eight glasses of water a day.8. Exercise! 19. take niacin. Develop close personal ties to friends.” “I eat only healthy foods. 18. 12. Learn to express your emotions. Eliminate the stress and tension in your life.” “I maintain a state of calmness and tranquility. 20. I love and care about my heart. I am healthier and healthier. Bring your weight to where it belongs. I choose perfect health. “A healthy heart is now my reality.” “I avoid cholesterol. my body and myself more and more. Take aspirin. 16.” “My positive.” “I eat more fiber. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. 15. If you smoke. and vegetables.” “My body knows exactly what it needs to stay healthy. fat and sugar. Be sure to get an adequate supply of minerals in your diet. Every day. 9.” “Every day in every way. If it won’t cause a health risk. Learn about herbal extracts.

When they fail. If a person really wants to stop. The others are merely variations of these two. the sooner the cravings for a cigarette go away. The more times you begin the quitting process. try again. Advantages: The sooner you quit. Instead of giving your body continued doses of nicotine. Read each one carefully and decide which one will work best for you. he or she will usually succeed sooner or later. we’ll cover the two basic methods—cold turkey and gradual withdrawal. Though there are many different approaches to quitting. but how? 1. then the next time or the next after that. If at first you don’t succeed.. The psychological need for cigarettes goes away quickly because nicotine is completely eliminated from the body within a few days and most of the craving will be gone within a few weeks. but the health of those around you. Each method has its pros and cons but the one you select can be a determining factor in your success. and affecting your health. The cold turkey method allows you to experience immediate physical and psychological rewards. You are well aware that you must stop. you force it to begin healing right away. sapping your willpower. but you’ve tried before and failed.C H A P T E R T W E L V E Stop Smoking We are all aware of the dangers of smoking .. and then follow through. and threatens not only your own life. expensive. You feel the negative effect smoking has on your body. Cold Turkey Method The cold turkey method requires you to simply stop smoking. no matter how uncomfortable it gets. You want to quit. due to an inadequate plan. your lack of energy. Now you fear that this habit is stronger than you are. the more energy you put toward the goal of becoming a nonsmoker and the more likely you are to eventually achieve that goal. try. But don’t be discouraged by previous failures to quit. and how difficult it can be to stop. Most smokers. Smoking is a psychological and physiological addiction that ruins the quality of your life while cutting it short. the tiny lines that appear on your upper lip and around your mouth. they heap guilt and shame upon themselves. most try to quit with overly simplistic approaches. It frequently seems that this addiction is overpowering—dominating your thoughts. turns off friends and strangers alike. It’s dangerous. if not this time. 2. when deciding to quit. It’s an easy method to implement because you . do not give much thought as to how to accomplish it. Choose the right method. the wheezing in your lungs when you walk up a flight of stairs. You choose which cigarette will be your last. Consequently.

The Gradual Withdrawal Method The gradual withdrawal method calls for regulated and decreased nicotine consumption over a specific period of time. Taking longer to eliminate the nicotine from your system delays the physical and psychological rewards of not smoking. A slip won’t destroy your entire quitting effort. can also be a disadvantage. if your mind works overtime coming up with rationales to continue smoking. 3. if conflict or motives exist. you can no longer justify your smoking today by telling yourself that you will quit. It reduces the opportunity for excuses by eliminating the physiological need as quickly as possible. effort and commitment than cold turkey. if you procrastinate. You just don’t ever allow yourself another cigarette—EVER! Disadvantages: The main advantage. someday. Advantages: It avoids the abruptness of the cold turkey method and the possibly severe withdrawal symptoms accompanying it. feel stressed out and overwhelmed at the thought of quitting. You slowly decrease the amount of cigarettes you smoke and eventually. It also lessons the motivation to generate excuses—the quitter is more likely to continue the effort and less likely to engage in escapist behaviors. tension. In other words. They bring attention to it and then you begin to focus on your cravings and discomfort from withdrawal as well. It minimizes the withdrawal symptoms because it still provides a small amount of nicotine. such as irritability. and 3) specific target dates. Disadvantages: It demands more time. Who should use the cold turkey method?: If you suffer from extreme withdrawal symptoms. 2) special events. if you believe that pressure from others is responsible for you beginning or continuing smoking. Its greater visibility puts everyone’s eye on you. but poor preparation and haphazard timing can otherwise ruin a well-motivated effort. impatience. while the all-or-nothing nature of the cold turkey method means that a single cigarette can ruin the entire effort. Choose the right starting time. particularly during the crucial early days. High levels of discomfort can undermine your resolve. while the rapid removal of the conflict provides less time to escape. There are three types of starting times: 1) extended breaks. Who should use gradual withdrawal?: If you suffer from extreme anxiety.simply stop—completely and at once. Less social pressure is involved as others won’t be as aware of a cutback as they would of a cutoff. you would benefit most from the cold turkey method. tend to avoid problems. Your colleagues at work who smoke notice instantly that you’ve quit. . its suddenness. you stop. or have difficulty controlling your behavior without a direct challenge or explicit command. you would benefit most from the gradual withdrawal method. it will only make the process longer. such as health versus personal appearance because you fear gaining weight. denial or take a fatalistic attitude toward smoking. Improve your chances by thoughtfully selecting a starting time that can help you avoid or reduce potential barriers. if you rationalize your smoking or engage in wishful thinking. Smokers usually quit when they feel like it. and insomnia. Drawing out the process may make it more difficult to maintain your resolution to quit.

erroneous rationales. Smoking is a very real and treacherous addiction—it is critically important to recognize and acknowledge this. Erroneous rationales When caught in the throes of a nicotine craving. It is important to break this cycle. including denying or diminishing the dangers of smoking • Denying the personal relevance or ability to quit • Denying the necessity of quitting • Philosophizing. help increase motivation. Enduring the short-term discomfort of quitting is far better than prolonging the constant pleasure/pain cycle of nicotine addiction. such as graduation from school. It is important to understand how we rationalize our negative behaviors. The pleasure/pain cycle Take a look at the benefits and pleasure you believe you get from smoking. . Otherwise we continue those negative behaviors and never change them. 4. Here are the key ways in which we justify smoking: • A lack of knowledge or misconceptions about smoking. procrastination and other escapist behavior become much more difficult to rationalize. filter out excuses and control escapist behavior. such as a vacation. a long weekend or holiday is an extremely good time to begin. A special event. In other words. birth of a child. and advancing irrelevant arguments. The extended break assists you to establish a number of nonsmoking days and to get past the worst part of withdrawal while in a non-stressful atmosphere. intellectualizing. you smoke the cigarette to relieve the discomfort caused by your addiction to cigarettes. the perceived pleasure or benefit derives primarily from relieving and reducing your acquired physiological need for nicotine. explain away and make allowances for behavior that is detrimental to our well-being. Learn to recognize the three key factors that make quitting harder and you may be able to avoid a relapse. We easily intellectualize. it can be very easy to forget why you wanted to stop in the first place. You smoke the cigarette to fix what the cigarette has caused. job promotion or retirement. Having committed yourself to quit during this break. and escapist behavior. In virtually every case. Be prepared for the tough stuff– the pleasure/pain cycle. Specific target dates such as birthdays. justify. The social pressure to smoke and the sights and smells of others smoking are temporarily gone. New Year’s or another holiday. marriage. can provide you with enough extra motivation to sustain the desire to quit over the desire to smoke.An extended break. or any other specific date. We must recognize how—at those moments—we ignore certain truths.

rules. Procrastination is a very effective escape route. Buy a small notebook. buy a larger notebook to use as a journal. blaming others and repression. those effects will be minimal or easily reversed. Regression enables the smoker to get around the inconsistency between his knowledge of the dangers of smoking and his continued smoking by simply refusing to deal with it. Smokers indulging in wishful thinking live in a fantasy world where none of nicotine’s adverse effects will happen to them. This deliberate behavior enables the smoker to avoid conflict and the necessity of making excuses. but be sure to work the anger through and turn it around to positive thought. 5. accomplishments and observations of events occurring in your quitting program. Write your reasons for quitting in your journal for later reference when you have the urge to smoke. wishful thinking.. such as becoming overly emotional. regression. swearing. and screaming at people who raise the smoking issue. it’s not likely. the log will provide feedback about your progress. or indulging in wishful thinking. do not change your present smoking behavior. For the first week. While that’s always possible. In addition to your daily smoking log. If you notice yourself feeling deprived and becoming angry. Repression is quite simply not viewing smoking as a problem. Blaming others enables the smoker to disclaim responsibility while clouding the issue of a solution to the problem. Start a smoking log. Keep this log with your cigarettes and begin immediately to keep an accurate record of your smoking behavior—this means every cigarette you smoke. like the ostrich refusing to see things as they are by sticking its head in the sand. Use a journal.Escapist behavior Escapist behavior encompasses five patterns: procrastination. . A clever smoker can come up with enough excuses to put off quitting for years. Wishful thinking is unrealistic and escapist in nature. 6. Later. This will be your daily smoking log. Note the time you smoke of each one and the situation. or if it does.” And so on. This is a personal record of your goals. For example. Many people began smoking not as a result of an informed decision but as a consequence of interpersonal relationships and peer pressure. 7:30 cigarette while getting dressed. blow off steam in the journal. even forever. approximately the size of a pack of cigarettes. fooling himself into believing that he is going to quit . “7AM cigarette with morning coffee. tomorrow. Blaming others is an avoidance tactic.. blaming others. Quitting is frequently made even more difficult because of lack of support from other people. This is accomplished by regression to childish or inappropriate behavior and attitudes. an accurate record will create awareness about the way you smoke and what each cigarette means to you.

Identify your conditioned smoking triggers. Educate yourself about the psychological effects of nicotine on the body. Be careful not to establish new triggers while eliminating the old ones. the American Cancer Society and the American Lung Association. This can happen after months or even years of not smoking if the person has not learned to identify and eliminate the conditioned triggers from his life. Educate yourself about the psychological effects of nicotine. 8. Choose those strategies you will integrate with your method and write them in your journal. the better equipped you will be to withstand its wiles and the better your chance of success. You won’t feel overwhelming craving and anxiety because you know you’ll have a cigarette soon. offer free educational materials. As you break each trigger. escapist behavior and conditioned smoking triggers. remain at that level for a few days until you have incorporated the new behavior into your life and feel comfortable with it. 10.7. Begin taking megadoses of vitamin C. personal and social: how you handle obsessive cravings when they strike. Making gradual changes in your behavior and consolidating them at each step before moving on to another step. Use your daily smoking log to identify your conditioned smoking triggers. Contingency plans help you deal with the factors that make quitting harder: the pleasure/pain cycle. Create contingency plans– don’t be caught off guard. erroneous rationales. bringing the craving and urge back in full force. know how you will act in certain situations. what your personal quitting schedule calls for. Talk to friends who have successfully quit. Before you quit. Do not avoid the trigger situation. Many public health organizations. You may prefer to use the crystallized form of vitamin C rather than . The more familiar you are with what nicotine is and what it does. Ask your doctor for additional information. Large amounts of vitamin C will quickly detoxify your body during the nicotine elimination period. Decide to stick to them. Tips 8 through 13 deal specifically with the cold turkey method but people who have chosen the gradual withdrawal program will find them useful as well. follow your contingency plan. Many people begin smoking again because they succumb to a conditioned trigger that has caught them unawares. but don’t compensate by smoking an additional cigarette later. and when these difficulties strike. you must encounter the trigger and render it ineffective by not smoking. can painlessly eliminate these triggers. 9. Do some research at your public library. such as the American Heart Association.

50 a year. you could save $1642. such as knitting—it’ll keep your hands busy. 13. Cigarettes cost about $4. Be available for them to call you. Begin to notice how good you feel. assisting someone else to overcome their craving can help you overcome your own. If possible. If you know someone who is also in the process of quitting. Develop a support team. Be kind to yourself during the withdrawal process. 11. cut dosage in half but continue frequency of doses. supportive and happy that you are engaged in such a positive endeavor. Get a massage. so indulge yourself. but do not use them as an excuse for your own actions. People who have tried to quit and failed may tell you horror stories about their failures. Concentrate on the good feelings and congratulate yourself on your new nonsmoking behavior as you revel in your new freedom from cigarettes. Do some of the things you have always wanted to do but never had the time or money for. Visualize your lungs becoming clearer and pinker each day. however. Chew some ice. massage . like carrot or celery sticks. 12. Put the money you would have spent on cigarettes into a savings account. you could save $821. Nonsmokers who don’t understand what you are going through may wonder why you need extra emotional support. Pay more attention to your hands. The possibilities are endless. Or move your chair to a different location and don’t smoke there. With each new day you will be feeling better and better. If you smoke one pack a day and quit.50 a pack. try sitting in a different chair. Take up a hobby. Two packs: $3285. and more time at your disposal. do this for at least one week. and run a bubble bath. You’ll have more money now that you don’t smoke. If this causes diarrhea.25 a year. Notice how much easier breathing has become. If you smoke half a pack a day and you quit. Go to the country for the weekend and stay at a bed & breakfast. Develop alternative behaviors. you can give each other mutual support. try counting down from 100 to 1. Do not use food as an alternative to smoking.000mg every two to four hours. Instead of sitting in your favorite chair where you always smoke while reading or watching TV. Take 4. Purchase that new compact disk. Take a shower or go for a walk. Call this person for support when the urge to smoke seems overwhelming. Instead of seeing your money go up in smoke. Reward your efforts with positive reinforcement. Be prepared to encounter them. When you feel the urge to smoke. try to avoid these people. those who care about you will be helpful. But not everyone will be supportive.swallowing several tablets. you will be getting wealthier and enjoying it more while becoming healthier and wiser. Drink a cup of herbal tea. it contains no calories and will keep your mouth busy. smell the scents in the air you couldn’t smell before. Keep low-calorie nibbles around. Explain to those close to you what you are trying to accomplish. Reward your efforts with positive reinforcement. 14.

it will pass with less discomfort. The oxygen flooding through your system will help detoxify your system more quickly as well. Change your brand of cigarettes. 17. and can act as a trigger for a cigarette. Vigorous daily exercise increases levels of the neurotransmitters as well as endorphins. Your self-image and self-esteem will improve and you won’t want to damage your body with cigarettes any longer. If you currently smoke a cigarette very high in tar and nicotine. mood swings will stabilize and you won’t feel as depressed. begin doing so now. It’s hard to smoke while you’re exercising. vegetables and fruits. Hunger is accompanied by low blood sugar. Exercise! If you don’t already engage in regular daily physical exercise. Many smoke for the sake of relaxation but there are several relaxation strategies available that can relax you without the need of a cigarette. Smoking a cigarette raises your blood sugar.cream into them and manicure your nails. If you are not accustomed to eating breakfast. Increase your water intake. Be creative in your alternatives. Or try sketching. Increase your calcium intake—it will act as a natural relaxant. Change your eating habits. Switch cigarette brand and types. Regular. start now. Become more aware of your spiritual nature. the body’s natural opiates. Deep breathing is an easy one that will both relax you and oxygenate your body and mind at the same time. At the very least. taking away the hunger. Learn to relax without a cigarette. Switch down again until you are smoking the lowest tar and nicotine cigarette available while . Also. then begin eliminating them. This is why many people gain weight when they quit smoking. will level out your blood sugar. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Yoga. This is a technique that has proven very successful in such programs as Alcoholics Anonymous. When your other techniques seem to be not quite enough. doodling or writing in your journal. they substitute eating. balanced meals with lots of complex carbohydrates. which are serious triggers. 15. in an effort to keep their blood sugar levels up. turn to your higher power or your higher self for assistance. but do not increase your overall cigarette consumption. and will make it easier for you to relax more completely. It’s hard work. 18. usually sweets. acclimate yourself to the next lower level for a few days. concentrating on whole grains. and massages are also easy and effective relaxation techniques. Take a multiple vitamin and mineral supplement. but if you can utilize these relaxation techniques when you feel a craving coming on. begin your day with a protein drink you can make in your blender. Eliminate all sweets from your diet. Develop your spirituality. 19. progressive body relaxation. it will help flush the nicotine from your system. 16. Decrease the tar and nicotine content by switching to one with lower contents of these agents. Drink at least 64 ounces of water a day.

switch to a filter. lighters. 21. If you smoke a non-filter. Each day empty your cigarette butts into a large jar and cover them with water. erroneous rationales & escapist behavior. Schedule the following activities for a time immediately after you quit: Clean your house thoroughly or have a cleaning crew come in and do it. 13. Instead. open the jar and take a deep sniff. Throw away all smoking paraphernalia—matches. Choose the right starting time: extended breaks. ashtrays. Identify your conditioned smoking triggers. . 5.continuing to eliminate them—cigarette by cigarette. 22. Develop a support team. Begin taking megadoses of vitamin C. Smoke with the nondominant hand. Create contingency plans—don’t be caught off guard. Start a smoking log. Do not throw the jar away when you reach the target date. 9. Reward your efforts with positive reinforcement. then keep the cigarette and matches in separate locations. Be prepared for the tough stuff—the pleasure/pain cycle. switch to non-menthol and vice versa. If at first you don’t succeed. Educate yourself about the psychological effects of nicotine. Clean the inside of your car. 2. 7. Condition an aversion to cigarettes. Choose the right method: the cold turkey method or the gradual withdrawal method. eliminate cigarettes. Begin to notice how good you feel. 12. 6. Smoke lingers in drapes and carpeting. special events or specific target dates. 4. You are now ready to eliminate the last cigarette comfortably. trigger by trigger. try again. Make an appointment to visit your dentist to have your teeth cleaned. 10. 11. Stop Smoking Summary 1. switch to using matches. If you use a lighter. but do not switch from a filter to a non-filter. Use a journal. 20. The final chapter tells you how. 8. try. Finally. when you feel like lighting a cigarette. If you smoke a menthol cigarette. so have them thoroughly cleaned as well. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of stopping smoking. 3.

eliminate cigarettes. Condition an aversion to cigarettes.. the urge to smoke is now gone.” “Cigarettes disgust me. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.14. “I now set a target date and on that date I will stop smoking forever. I feel better mentally and physically. Every day. Learn to relax without a cigarette.” . Change your eating habits. I smoke fewer and fewer cigarettes. Finally. 21. Exercise! 17. up to my target date.” “I have the willpower to do anything I desire to do.” “I crave cigarettes less and less. Develop your spirituality. I smoke less and less. 18.. Develop alternative behaviors.” “I now stop smoking. replacing it with desirable new behavior patterns.” “I successfully focus on overcoming my smoking habit. I no longer want to smoke. 15.” “Every day.” “By quitting. 19.” “I am now a nonsmoker. 16. 20. The urge to smoke is leaving me. Switch cigarette brand and types.

you will eventually achieve the results you want. success. your personal relationships. . Your first priority is to establish clarity of intent with no indecisiveness whatsoever. 1. One important thing to remember: don’t be afraid to make a mistake or change your mind. harness and develop your potential to achieve a new. and the practical. wishes and fantasies that will make your life a delight. you can achieve. even though you’ve had the ability to change it all along. When you accept responsibility for creating a situation. Realize that you alone are the source of all the conditions and situations in your life. to exercise control over people. happiness—whatever you desire. your finances. Establish clarity of intent. Your goals exist to serve you. When you form clarity of intent and stick to it. Even if it turns out that it’s not what you want. Intention leads to action. This is half the battle. You are free to change what you want if it doesn’t suit you. And when you assume responsibility for changing it. you’ve allowed that situation to remain as it is. you set it up to be that way. However. If you are honest with yourself. Whether you are aware of it or not. easy to apply. you will have had the experience of making real progress toward a goal. you are ready to accept responsibility for changing it. situations. and successoriented self-awareness. The state of your health. you will eventually see that. Look carefully at any situation in your life and be honest about it. to get what you want—those dreams. yours and no one else’s. you don’t exist to serve them.C H A P T E R T H I R T E E N Negotiate What You Want It may surprise you to know that the key to successful negotiation is not just knowing what to say and when to say it. you take control of your life. and oneself. positive. When you take control of your life. either consciously or subconsciously. This chapter covers both the human potential concepts that can help position you to become a better negotiator. Power is the capacity to get things done. which is the key to your ability to negotiate. events. These tips will help you become a winner. and you will have learned the practical skills to accomplish it. you exhibit power. 2. Wealth. your professional life—all of it is your doing. power is based on perception—if you think you’ve got it then you’ve got it. tactical elements and strategies necessary for powerful negotiation. Sometimes there is no way to find out whether or not a particular goal really suits you until you try it. Learn the principles to successful negotiation and you can unlock.

frustrations. Fear is responsible for all the disturbances in life. Intelligent risk-taking requires a willingness to shrug your shoulders and absorb a manageable loss without whining—the chance of a setback is the price you must pay for any progress. One of those physical universal laws is second: the law of physical attraction. the other side will manipulate you. all are fear-based emotions.. Hatred. You don’t have to do anything. you begin to avoid life. if a thought is a thing in a physical universe. blame is self-pity. The second block to asking is pride. and low self-esteem. anxiety. Risk-taking involves mixing courage with common sense. the unproven. Fear paralyzes us and keeps us from acting when we need to act. Ask your mate. a phenomenon and a power. insecurities . the untried. When you choose not to act because of fear. It brings your goal to you with increasing acceleration and without all the trouble you thought necessary. If you remove the self-pity. a law. a phenomenon then occurs: the phenomenon of acceleration. parents.3. empowers or helps you grow. Willingness doesn’t make judgments. Willingness is having an open frame of mind. greed. Ask life or other people for that which truly delights. It is easier to be a victim and blame others for your circumstances than it is to take responsibility for your life. It doesn’t make excuses for why things cannot be. Things attract things. they move at an ever-increasing rate. If you don’t take risks. children. it can achieve. the thought immediately attracts its physical equivalent. is essential. You must be willing to give up something in order to get something. in- . but you must be willing to do it. Whenever you think something. hang-ups. Commitment. phobias. Apply the concept of willingness. it is governed by the same physical laws as other things. possessiveness. One form of pride is blaming. Third. Realize the futility of blame. Non-action is just as capable of producing results as action. tension. When you become absolutely clear in your own mind that you are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal. The principle that makes willingness work has four parts: a concept. a feeling of confidence that you’ll pursue what you want no matter what happens. In accepting the fear. It could stop us from making a growth choice when it would be in our best interest. It doesn’t refuse what is asked of it. international or interpersonal. When things begin moving toward each other.” as Napoleon Hill says. all that is left is self-responsibility and the awareness that you are the creator of your own circumstances. 4. Hold a firm belief that what you want is so desirable and so important that it is worth doing whatever you must do to get it. you must be willing to take risks and to do whatever it takes to accomplish it. the principle of willingness will start creating shortcuts for you by illuminating the need to do certain things. you are imprisoned within it. inhibition. stress. and living with it. First: the concept of thoughts as things. Therefore. large or small. Overcome the blocks to asking. The fourth element of the willingness principle is: the power of an open mind. “What the human mind can conceive and believe. From a human potential perspective. anger.. There are three blocks that keep people from asking for what they need: fear. no matter how illogical the request may seem. pride. Therefore. To succeed. Courage is a matter of being afraid and choosing to act anyway. be receptive to the possible.

When your conduct is below your standard and you don’t correct it. . your self-esteem and your self-image is enhanced. your self-image will suffer. Absolutely nothing is worth the extreme negativity a loss of self-respect would bring. Certainty inspires confidence and support. if you ask for help without putting forth your best efforts. fulfilling relationships. Exactly what do you want. No matter how tense the negotiation gets. 6. know what you really need or want. you must have clarity of intent. Never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. Too many people think that luxuries are necessities and their wants become endless. If it adversely affects your well-being. This is very important. You can have whatever you want in life: wealth. The first step to rising above this restrictive thinking is to become clear on your intent in the negotiation. The third block is low self-esteem. material goods. Ask the appropriate person or keep looking until you find the right person. anything is possible. This visualization will release chemicals in your brain. It is your life. Low self-esteem is a self-imposed limitation. Use creative visualization and imagination to reach your goal. Keep a strong mental picture of what you desire firmly in your mind. This positive feedback will encourage you to continue reaching for your goal. Cut back your unrealistic desires and be selective in what you ask for. happiness. and more. people will want to help you if your purpose seems sound and good. Ask someone who can and who wants to say yes. walk away from it. why do you want it. Before you ask. If you ask in the right way. Envision all possible scenarios so that you are prepared. Then relax and visualize how you will feel when you attain it. You will have to control it. Show that you intend to give your best efforts. not from what we have. Sometimes people ask for things that will not help them get what they really want. Prior to any negotiation. Approach an intermediary. don’t ask for the wrong things. Show how the person’s help will make a difference. rich life experiences. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself. it’s a waste of your time. 5. Try not to negotiate with a person who lacks authority. causing a pleasure reaction the same as if you had already attained your goal. people won’t be eager to assist you. Explain why you need assistance. do a dress rehearsal. Ask for the essentials first. This will enable you to be self-confident. High self-esteem results from what we do in life. never lower your standards just to achieve the goal you desire. Don’t be afraid to approach successful people. 7. employees and friends what they think you should be doing with your life and everyone will give you a different answer. never cross it. Ask the right person.laws. The people who get what they want in this world are those who can work and live lean. Remember. and what are you willing to do to get it? Once you’ve drawn that line. Ask effectively.

Share what you have. Use the power of precedent: justify what you’re asking for by referring to other similar situations. Garner support and include other people. or this can backfire. Don’t be an island. Getting what you want in life sometimes requires the courage to try a new direction when what you’re doing doesn’t seem to be getting you what you need. expert opinions. documents carry authority and people tend not to question the printed word. it is worth your time to prepare for. Remember. patient and alert for the favorable moment to act. If the negotiation is important enough to win. . Your ability to gain the commitment of others magnifies the impact of your words and gives you power. Be calm. try asking with more than just words—ask with your actions. Try to have all the relevant facts at hand. and can make more of an impression on others. but be careful to use an example with the outcome beneficial to you. If you are able to project an attitude of having all the time in the world to conduct negotiation. If you are aware of their time limits and they don’t know yours. Learn to be your own expert. If one approach doesn’t work. try another. you’ll appreciate what you have all the more because the spirit of sharing will enrich your life. Persuade others to help. and keep your reference materials within easy reach. you can use circumstances to your best advantage while lessening your own stress levels. figures. Use the power of legitimacy. Use cleverness and humor in your approach. Learn to ask artfully. by example. By dispersing the overall risk through the support of others. 9. Try different angles. Be your own expert. When you ask for something. Offer evidence: facts. Your best strategy is not to reveal your own deadline. it also frequently overcomes resistance or opposition. frequently the other side will give you what you want in order to end the encounter. 11. Involve the other person in what you’re asking for. it not only arouses curiosity. you will have the advantage. 10. Always be relaxed and calm. help the person you’re asking. The way you view and use time can be crucial to your success. to go beyond him or herself too. people support that which they help create. Never let them know your deadline. How you ask is as important as what you ask: Use cleverness and humor in your approach. Don’t limit yourself to talking or writing. The other side always has a time limitation or a deadline. Be aware of the time element when you negotiate. this will draw them to your side. get them involved in the planning and decision making. go beyond yourself. Compose a checklist of points to be covered.8. and they will shoulder part of the burden. through a gesture. A clever or imaginative request is often memorable. too. Ask—with a smile. Include other people in your dreams and desires. Establish your background and credentials early in the negotiation. Use your creativity and be flexible in making requests.

even if you are down and out. Make people feel . The old cliché has a lot of truth to it: give. you’re more likely to get it if you show sincere respect. But always give something to the other person. even if you’ve got one. Also. show the immediate relevance and value of what you’re saying in terms of meeting their needs and desires. loyalty and respect. give the other person the right to say no. Approach each person on a human level with the hope that you can help them solve their own problem. Dress appropriately. Very often. and the unspoken needs. In this way you will gain their cooperation. even the best-laid plans can backfire if your personal appearance is not appropriate. Approach each person on a human level. never demand or beg. 14. 15. the prospect of future success or credit. Appearances do count. communicate confidence with your body language. No matter what you want from others. Never ask from weakness. show respect in word and deed. The first four minutes will determine a great deal of the outcome in any negotiation. understanding. appreciation. Logic in and of itself will rarely influence people. Give the person you’re negotiating with respect. but it is important to be well-groomed and dressed neatly. Don’t contradict people. In many cases. Try to convey understanding and empathy. These are the two biggest mistakes you can make in negotiating what you want. A vital piece of information in any negotiation is a knowledge of the other party’s real limits. Get the other person to identify with you by acting professionally and reasonably. Courtesy and respect for others will make people think a little more kindly of you. Request or invite. human warmth. In order to successfully negotiate with anyone. there are two things being bargained for: the specific issues and demands—the points under negotiation. How to tell if you are demanding rather than making a request: demands usually take one of two forms—abusiveness or threats. but apple polishing. Be sensitive to the nonverbal cues the other is giving. hopes. Create a comfort zone. whining and complaining are forms of begging. this can be determined by looking at the concessions the other side offers. people do not realize they are begging. Never ask with a sledgehammer. The pattern of concessions can be the real clue to just how far others will go. you are virtually assured of success if you can determine what the other’s needs really are and fulfill them. Begging is demanding and shows a sense of insecurity. In any negotiation. Respect the other person’s time. Be dignified but not pompous. It will open their minds to your needs or interests and predispose them to consider your request more favorably. be careful about your appearance.12. In addition to having your case well-prepared. dreams. You don’t need to have lots of money or to dress expensively. Also. insincere flattery. and aspirations. If you want to persuade people. which are usually the real needs of the other side. 13. speak to the other person’s needs. Lack of concern for you appearance implies casualness and a lack of respect for the other person. Determine the other person’s unspoken needs. in order to receive. Look cheerful.

You will perform best when you are in a calm. Soothing music. deep breathing. You can regulate your brain’s performance and keep your levels of energy high during negotiations not only by what you eat but by when you eat it. liver and eggs supply lecithin and choline. Post-meal drowsiness can cause you to flub an important negotiation. No matter how important your negotiations are. When possible. which are the points of communication between brain cells. it will keep you alert. decreasing your thinking and negotiating ability. If you are concerned about cholesterol levels. turmoil and anxiety clutter your mind. 18. regular exercise and progressive relaxation are effective stress-reducing strategies to achieve a calm emotional state. to keep your body firing on all cylinders. say “please”. Stress produces anxiety and worry. such as fish. reduce mental clutter and put you in control of the situation. A good diet will enable you to project that aura of power and charisma necessary to successful negotiation. 16. choose a neutral location for the negotiation. cauliflower and soybeans. you’ll be under reduced stress and you’ll get better results because your attitude will convey your feeling of power and mastery of your life. Studies show that negotiations are more likely to be decided in favor of the one whose territory they are conducted in. but worry is directly related to physical tension. schedule negotiations in your own office or surroundings. other good sources of lecithin and choline include cabbage. meditation. narrowing your focus of attention so important cues and perceptions may be missed. When it is not possible to schedule negotiations in your own surroundings. 17. When you’re wrong say so. Eat the right meal at the right time. Continued tension. Schedule negotiations in your own office or surroundings. Instead. which are nutrients that maintain and enhance the brain’s ability to reason. but neither will the other person. Ease the physical tension and your mind will follow. yoga. Emphasize protein in your morning and midday meal. your number one enemy is stress. Use stress-reducing strategies to ease physical and emotional tension. relaxed state of mind. . for it affects not only how you look but how you feel. Say thanks in advance. Your overall diet plays a key role in negotiating. keep carbohydrate intake at breakfast and lunch to a minimum. “thank you” and “I’m sorry” when these phrases are called for.important. you won’t have the edge of being on your own territory. Choline contributes to optimal brain performance by increasing the rate of the brain’s metabolism. You’ll have more energy. It maintains the structural integrity of the synapses. Brain foods. Familiar surroundings will put you at ease while giving you a subliminal edge over your opponent. It may seem difficult to deliberately force yourself not to worry. Negotiating over a power lunch or breakfast can assist your negotiation skills.

. Request or invite. Don’t be an island. accomplish anything. you’ve got to communicate your needs. never demand or beg. Apply the concept of willingness. 10. Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of negotiating what you want. it’s sometimes easier to go around an obstacle than through it. 6. Be tenacious—asking makes things happen. Too many people fall into the “ears only” category. A critically important piece of advice is: DO IT! 20. Determine the other person’s unspoken needs.. Ask . How you ask is as important as what you ask. 7. Never let them know your deadline. Overcome the blocks to asking. Use self-hypnosis. 5. 4. However. 14. Use creative visualization and imagination to reach your goal. 11. It’s not enough to know what you want .19. almost every “No” can be transformed into a “Yes. they enjoy reading these tips and dreaming about what could be. Negotiate What You Want Summary 1. they may even learn a few things. use cleverness and humor in your approach. Ask the right person. 13. and you will get what you want. or to pick the right person to ask . 2. but they do little or nothing to attain their goals. 12. and keep asking until you succeed. The people who react negatively to your proposal may simply need time to evaluate it and adjust their thinking.. 9. success starts with asking for what you want. If you want to get anything. Establish clarity of intent. Garner support and include other people. One of the most effective ways to approach others who are irritable is to appeal to their ego or selfimportance. The final chapter tells you how. success comes not just from visualizing your success but from your follow-through... . 8. Approach each person on a human level. With the passage of sufficient time and repeated requests on your part. or to prepare a good case. Realize you alone are the source of all the conditions and situations in your life.. 3. and to apply the other tips if you don’t ask! Failure stems from not asking. Never give up. or enjoy anything. Be your own expert. They intellectualize but never seem to actualize. Persistence and perseverance pays. Ask effectively. Learn how to apply the basic principles of negotiation in your daily life.” When direct requests don’t work.

16.” “I have the power and ability to attain my desires. Never give up. 18.” “I recognize and use each opportunity to my advantage.” “I am creative and imaginative in the way I negotiate with others.” “I carefully look at each situation and take the risks necessary to accomplish my goal. Use stress reducing strategies to ease physical and emotional tension. Dress appropriately. I try another. 17.” “By helping others I receive help in return. 19.15. “I know exactly what I want and I am willing to do what is necessary to attain my goal. Eat the right meal at the right time.” . I now rise above the self-imposed blocks to get what I want. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. If one approach does not work.” “I know how to ask for what I want.” “I am persistent in getting what I want. Schedule negotiations in your own office or surroundings.” “I am a successful negotiator and I achieve my desires.

how can you expect to attain it? Whether you are just beginning or are already well into the race. calculate and remember. this chapter will focus primarily on monetary success. Don’t allow your excuses to stop you from forming clarity of intent. What would you wish to be. Or you feel your wants are irresponsible or unrealistic. 9) predictable and reliable high achievers who always act to secure the future. Energy: you must have the mental and physical energy to do what you need to do to succeed. YOU CAN! To most people. and although most of the following tips could be applied to any aspect of success. enthusiasm. Develop clarity of intent. if you could have any wish you wanted? What do you want out of life? Not what should you want. enthusiasm. need and demand to be in control. so you won’t admit to them. But the truth is. you have no direction. Mental energy is necessary to learn your skills. But you must know what you want if you expect to get it. 8) find the process of attaining their goals much more joyful than the actual accomplishment. but 90 percent of success results from four factors: energy. First and foremost you must develop clarity of intent. If you don’t know exactly what you want. No logical restrictions. 4) people who want. and nowhere to begin. 50 percent of those polled indicated that they did not know what they wanted to do that would make them ultra-successful. or launching a hot idea. In recent polls. 3) committed to their work to the degree of being workaholics.C H A P T E R F O U R T E E N Become a Success Statistics show that highly successful people are: 1) self-confident. 7) more concerned with being respected than being liked. be sure you have this clarity. that’s only a small part of success—a necessary part to be sure. 2. Success obviously means different things to different people. that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to become successful. and 10) people who need to learn to delegate. Don’t put excuses between you and doing it. . Start by pretending you have come across a magical genie who has promised to grant three wishes. self-image and discipline. You need a clearly defined goal or at least a strong general direction. Learn the four factors that are crucial to any success: energy. so you disguise them. learning how to become successful means developing a particular skill. 1. even to yourself. 2) impatient and excessive about their personal and professional pursuits. If you don’t fulfill all these profile points. or what someone else thinks you should want. Without it. 5) people who have strong likes and dislikes. self-image and discipline. clearly defining what success means to you. What do you want? Maybe you think your real wants are greedy. 6) introverted as opposed to extroverted.

Self-discipline simply means that you do what you need to do. employer. Then attain the knowledge you need which will generate even more enthusiasm. body and actions. your current life is a result of your thoughts. It is critically important to realize that you will never allow yourself to have what you don’t feel worthy of. It is you and you alone who controls your mind. And it certainly isn’t difficult to rise above the level of self-discipline of the masses because they are so accustomed to being disciplined by others. Do you feel worthy of your goals? If not you must begin immediately to program your conscious and subconscious mind to support your worthiness. How do you attain the energy you require? In a nutshell. friends. Self-discipline is the one ingredient common to all self-made. 3. and stop doing what you know doesn’t work. successful people. Chapter Three “Increase Your Self-Esteem” offers a blueprint for building your self-image. They accept being told what to do. In the context of success it means self-determination. say to yourself. which causes your actions. or sitting and doing nothing. Time spent doing busy work without benefit is wasted. Spending time means using it constructively. Enthusiasm is the psychological adrenaline that drives you to victory against the odds. Self-image: perceiving yourself as a winner is probably the most powerful success factor of all. . and ideally in a way that is fulfilling to you. and how and when to do it. they can’t discipline themselves. which created your feelings. profitably. be sure you have the enthusiasm to see it through. It is perseverance in action. The more you do what makes you proud of yourself. It starts with positive thoughts. religion and government. Obviously. stop doing anything that lowers your self-image in any way. because it is how you direct your time. Spending time might be working toward your success. The more you believe in your goal the more enthusiasm you’ll have. The greatest resource you have is time! You either spend time or you waste it. If you can’t control your thoughts. by their parents. It usually results from doing what you love to do. So. Spend time constructively. Self-discipline isn’t about self-denial or self-restrictions. the better your self-image becomes. “Success Opportunity. and the very basis of success. energy and resources to manifest your desires. Wasted time is exactly that—any time spent with people you don’t enjoy is wasted. A lifestyle incorporating physical exercise and a proper diet. Self-image results from what you do. Begin immediately to monitor your thoughts and when you catch yourself thinking negative. it will come from your lifestyle.” Then quickly imagine the same situation with a positive outcome.Physical energy is the basis of all energy and is the key ingredient of renewal. And start doing everything you can to generate positive esteem. a dinner with good friends. Before embarking upon the quest of a goal. mate. Enthusiasm combined with action will hasten success. and a minimum of stress almost assures an excess of physical energy. you can’t control your actions. plus a balance of work and play. This little technique blocks negative subconscious programming and promotes positive thinking.

It is critical in the early stages of your career to spend time thinking about the size of your vision. losers. 8. To rebuild your grandfather’s lost fortune is an emotional purpose. it’s often hard to break away to spend time in other ways—such as exercising. Act now. There are many excellent titles on time management at your local bookstore. The greater the emotional desire. to succeed so you can pay the mortgage without such a struggle is a practical purpose. 4. or maybe three Taco Bell franchises. If you need the approval of others. Arizona. Don’t wait for the ideal time to put your success plans into action. surround yourself with successful people. Stop worrying about what other people think. Chances are they don’t really want you to succeed anyway. 6. Stop worrying about what other people think in regard to what you want to do. Never limit your vision. acquiring knowledge. Courage is the willingness to be afraid and to act anyway. 7. Birds of a feather flock together. Your goals and vision are two different things. realize that you need an emotional purpose. For a large vision. If you want to make money and accumulate wealth. instead of accomplishing practical goals.We all have the same 1. Your success will make them appear to be failures. learning skills. and time wasters.440 minutes per day—which is forever lost—unless you invest it in your future success. socialites. Avoid negative people. 5. making business contacts or enhancing your personal life. But is that the full scope of your vision? Maybe your vision is to be one of the most respected. To prove your success potential to all the people who used to laugh at you is an emotional purpose. On the other hand. sharing with your family. . Without an emotional purpose. Balance your hard work with play. at least seek out a successful person you really admire. doing something you love to do. To enjoy the ego satisfaction of rising above all your peers is an emotional purpose. You may have a goal of owning a Taco Bell franchise. You will never succeed beyond the size of your vision. Having an emotional purpose allows you to dream bigger and to think bigger. If you want to be successful. Chances are there will never be a perfect time. Maybe you envision a nationwide chain of restaurants. associate only with those who are comfortable with abundance. If you are a high achiever. successful restaurateurs in Phoenix. Success comes to those who are bold enough to risk. an emotional purpose will keep driving you forward. people tend to reduce the breadth of their vision. organizing your life and setting priorities you need to study time management. Realize that you need an emotional purpose. the sooner you will begin to set change into motion. The desire to send all your kids to Harvard is an emotional purpose. If you have trouble planning.

.. and if deep down in your subconscious you feel snobbery accompanies riches. Project confidence. If any of your answers were negative. driving a Rolls Royce. The idea is to be one of the 20 percent. Don’t even think about your answers—but from your heart immediately finish these sentences: I think rich people are . Project confidence. etc. which will again indirectly affect your success career. you are blocking your success. Also you will always live up to your selfimage... A quick way to do this is to instantly complete some sentences. self hypnosis. If your ignoring your relationship for your career. past-life regression. psychiatric therapy. Most of what you have accepted to be your reality is the result of your beliefs. If you allow yourself to get out of balance. you will block getting rich. what do you think? If you think the driver is a snob. But this balance is critical to your overall well being. Speak with authority and act confidently.. Remember this life-changing fact: you don’t have to change how you feel about something to affect it. Maintaining your equilibrium needs to become a central priority. you can count on relationship problems which will then indirectly effect your work career. you have a problem with beliefs that must be solved by finding the cause of the belief. 11. If someone pulls up beside you at a stoplight. You will have to find what works best for you. enjoying a hobby. if you will just act confident. soon your feelings will follow your new behavior and you will become confident.. things will start to go wrong in the area you are not attending to.” I’m speaking of all aspects of your life.spending quality time with your child. Examine your beliefs about success. you’ll probably get sick. 9. My potential for success is . In other words. If you aren’t eating and exercising properly. if you are willing to change what you are doing. If any of this relates to you it is time to examine your beliefs about success. There are many variations of this idea which basically says that 80 percent of everything of value is owned. Apply the 80/20 Plan. or even attending to your spiritual needs. 10. In regard to your quest for financial success you need to examine your attitudes about success and those who are already successful. or you resent him. My basic belief about becoming wealthy is . even if you don’t feel it. But the aspect of the 80/20 plan I most like to share is based upon research that proves that you get 80 percent of your results in life from 20 . There are very few facts in your life. or through reprogramming. And when I say “your reality. because you can’t become what you resent. even if you don’t feel confident. achieved or created by 20 percent of the people. There are many ways to process the cause of the belief: metaphysical counseling.

you will severely limit your success potential. Think about that. They can’t financially afford to wait. Most people are oriented to an immediate payoff. And it follows that only one of the ten is emotionally capable of investing time. It is estimated that only ten people in a hundred will put effort into something unless it will pay off in a year’s time. It could go back to a childhood incident. She saw her own father in her mind and realized if she succeeded beyond the level of her father’s success. it would hurt him. the greater the payoff. 14. Often. on the dashboard of your car and on your desk: I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can. If you are doing everything to succeed but only attaining a limited level of success.percent of your efforts. The idea is to increase your efforts in the area that is paying off and delegate to others the busy work that isn’t generating the high-percentage return. Assume the role of a leader. Spend each moment doing the most productive thing you can. Uncover any blocks that could be keeping you from success. 12. just knowing about the block is enough to allow you to transcend it. Everything we feel. If you can’t find the cause on your own. to speak up and delegate. energy. Uncover any blocks. This tip is about leadership. Spend your time doing that which you do best. I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can. but until you are willing to delegate. The longer the lead time you invest in your success. you may have a subconscious block—a negative payoff that is keeping you from becoming all you are capable of being. And then do it. you can use the awareness as the basis of new subconscious programming. and that which generates the best results—and delegate the rest. Love was actually the block. to set examples. or a forgotten causal event in your adult life. Don’t give up. And even if it isn’t. There are few kinds of success that don’t require leadership. A simple reminder that you may want to write out and put up on the mirror in your bathroom. I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can. Let it become your affirmation for success. 15. if for no other reason than there is much less competition. This means you need to become a leader. 13. so you must be ready to assume it. . Delegation is often one of the most difficult things for successful people to do. or they aren’t emotionally capable of waiting. money or sacrifice into something that won’t remain profitable for five years. She loved him so much she was unwilling to outdo him. you might want to consider a session with a regressive hypnotist. A hypnotist directed a talented young woman back to the cause of her success block. It’s a statement from you to yourself. everything we experience goes back to a cause. All the extra energy and effort you put into what you are doing will pay off down the line.

Use self-hypnosis. As you move forward in your career. positive viewpoint. Accept that what is. you get upset. Align your values and your goal. It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering. Calculate the price to make sure you are willing to pay it before you begin. Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of becoming a success. instead of abundance and success. By that I mean choose a goal that offers economic viability. When people and things aren’t the way you want them to be. 20. and in an area you can master. The goal and value don’t align. 17. First. It’s always up to you. your subconscious mind is creating your reality based upon past programming. How does he work? How did he get where he is today? What motivates him? Who is his role model? What are his future dreams? Decide if his techniques are applicable to your personality. living in hotels most of the time. In accepting this you understand that your real power lies in your ability to control your thoughts. Then. The majority of the population appears to focus their attention on lack and limitation. Who is most successful at doing what you want to do? Your role model proves that it can be done. and that could be very undesirable. But it is your viewpoint and you can choose to react positively or negatively to outside circumstances. but your main goal is to conduct seminars all over the world. If your primary value is your family and homelife. . You can create any reality you desire if you’ve chosen a realistic goal and you are willing to pay the price. Emulating people you admire is an ideal way to measure yourself and to stimulate achievement. You can view your setbacks and frustrations as problems or as opportunities. or any combination of these factors. money or sacrifice. The final chapter tells you how. Role models are critical to your success. meeting new challenges and accomplishing your goals. If you are not forming your life with positive thoughts about yourself and your future. Choose a role model. you will replace your role model with new ones. be realistic about your goal. The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming. effort. compete with him and attempt to outdo him. is. Think positive. 19. which makes it easier for you to do it too. it will mean you’ll be away from home. plan your own version of his strategy. You are creating your own reality with everything you think. 18. Even the role model superstars keep their own heroes.16. The idea is to learn everything you can about your role model. long after becoming role models themselves. The price will always be counted in time. Make sure that values and goals align. The success oriented idea is to choose a detached.

Align your values and your goal. Choose a role model. enthusiasm. 2. 11. 18. Uncover any blocks. 10. Develop clarity of intent. 8. 14.” “I now focus my attention on making great amounts of money. Think positive. 6. Spend each moment doing the most productive thing you can.Become a Success Summary 1. 9. 15. 12. Learn the four factors that are crucial to any success: energy. Apply the 80/20 plan. Spend time constructively. Assume the role of a leader.” “I am worthy and deserving of wealth and success. Project confidence. “I take control of my life and create unlimited monetary abundance. Never limit your vision. Act now. is. Realize that you need an emotional purpose. Stop worrying about what other people think. 5. 4. Examine your beliefs about success.” “I live a lifestyle that generates high energy.” “My creative thinking now opens the doors to abundance.” “I am totally confident of my success. 19.” “I am willing to do what I need to do to succeed. self-image and discipline. Balance your hard work with play. 13.” “I am clear on my intent to become successful. 3. 7.” “Every day in every way I become more and more successful. Don’t give up.” “I surround myself with happy and successful people. 17. 16.” . Accept that what is. • Affirmations • The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.

” “I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can. profitably and in ways that fulfill me.“I am self-disciplined and I do what I need to do to succeed.” .” “I enthusiastically accept a leadership position.” “I spend my time constructively.

because when we are happier. rise above neurotic patterns. And it seems that we know what is best for us. 1. 2. a happy marriage is the most important contributor to well being. (Read the “Enhance Self-Esteem” chapter. All of the important aspects of your life. Statistically. Self-esteem is a cornerstone of happiness and mental health. If you stop to think about it. friends. they age slower and live longer.) Self-esteem is also the result of how you look. almost any kind of loving relationship will increase happiness. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself. Contentment is a benefit of loving yourself and is the core of motivation. you increase your self-esteem. and if you believe something to be. and find happiness at almost any age. Our dreams and goals revolve around happiness. Strive for a loving life Research shows that people who are in love are actually happier. This is critically important. filled with positive feelings toward yourself and the world. There is no one happiness formula that is right for everyone. Most of the suggestions have already been shared in other chapters. This can be with children. but I’m going to repeat them again. or a small group with a purpose. your friendships. they can alter their personalities. The experts claim that throughout your entire life relationships are continually reshaping you. your level of success. your job. it becomes so for you. get to work on a program to change for the better. When you do things that make you feel bad about yourself. Among the encouraging news found in psychological research studies comes knowledge that people are infinitely changeable.C H A P T E R F I F T E E N Create Happiness For most of us. happiness is what life is all about. Happiness is a state of well being. family. Once they have established clarity of intent. according the University of Chicago’s National Opinion Research Center. And even if marriage is not a consideration. This is sometimes the fastest way to begin increasing your feelings of self-worth. your love and relationships. Your self-esteem is primarily based upon what you do in life. So your own ideas about happiness are important to the attainment of happiness. Love yourself Love yourself. Even pets can be of . your sexuality. Of course. we are also healthier. because this combination of factors is most likely to generate happiness. just about every decision you make is based upon what you think will bring you more happiness. Research clearly shows that happier people have fewer physical ills. together. So if there is something you don’t like about the way you look. you lose self-esteem. And an imbalance at one point can be corrected later on. truth is what works for you. and spirituality are a means to bring you happiness. but the behavioral experts continue to prove that there are several factors that contribute most to meaningful happiness.

you feel better about yourself. goalimprinting. and the “Become A Success” chapter (#14). that is all you will achieve. even when they think they know. Sometimes. self-talk. Although that probably is not a fact. . one day at a time. It seems that when you care about someone else. All too many people tend to live in the past or in the future. they are missing out on life. they are fooling themselves and they are wanting it for the wrong reasons. In a seminar. why not “tune-in” to everything in your life—perceive the people and surroundings as if you were a writer with an assignment to capture the details of your day with words and images? Read more in the “Increase self-esteem” chapter (#3). they are incapable of experiencing the moment. “Richard. 5. For the rest of this day. subliminals. 4. If you believe you can only achieve limited success. As I explained to her. is because they do not know exactly what they want to do with the rest of their life. I once had an overweight woman stand up. 3. then you won’t be. I’ve created hundreds of self-change tapes and CDs: hypnosis. It seems that our work defines and affirms a feeling of self in powerful ways. There is also a theory that we channel our anger and aggression into wrestling with our work projects. But if you want to tear down the walls. Get a job you like Surveys show that people consider their work to be crucial to their happiness. 6. In so doing. Change beliefs that work against you I’ve already discussed beliefs in the “Reverse Aging” chapter (#8). So in effect. Decide what you want The primary reason people are not as happy and fulfilled as they want to be. that is all the better it will be for you. surrounding you and restricting your life. And what do these audio programs do? Everyone of them is structured to change the listener’s beliefs by programming new beliefs into their subconscious mind.” I said in response. Your disharmonious beliefs are like walls. put her hands on her hips and say. Completion results in a feeling of triumph over an adversary. But I’ll approach it here for a different perspective. now is the time to figure it out. In other words.” So what are your basic beliefs about happiness? You may think you need something you don’t really need to be happy. If you believe that sex can only be so good. sleep programming.value here. You cannot change what you don’t recognize.” “Your beliefs are causing your to over-eat. I’m over-weight because I over-eat. but even those who cannot take on regular employment can volunteer activities or tackle a hobby or a garden. And those who are happy in their work. are happier overall. If you want to lose weight you’ll have to change those beliefs. Live as fully as possible in the present Live in the present. If you don’t know what you want. Mothers and homemakers have unique full-time jobs of their own. you must first recognize that you are not free. not because of my beliefs. if you think you can’t be happy without a relationship.

In reality. we lose loved ones through separation or death. You can spend your life attempting to change what is. this might be their work. a special interest. experience phobias and fears. you have no choice in accepting what is. Develop meaningful activities Some researchers rate “meaningful activities” as the most important ingredient for a happy life. Through touch we can affirm friendships. For one person. Open to the power of human touch Research is confirming what mental-health professionals have been saying for years. that’s what is. Gravity exists. or make it worse by generating negative subconscious programming. or a hug. which results in attaining happiness. When you accept what is in your life. Your sense of touch is very important to your well being. is We have relationship problems. but there is not much you are going to do about it. Accept that what is. Your mate is quiet and stubborn. But all too often. But you should hear the resistance to this concept. 8. In fact. that’s what is. and have unfulfilled desires. We are haunted by guilt. Then stop wasting your energy on resisting what you can not change. These are activities that allow you to express what you consider yourself to be. they want everything they dislike changed. You can handle it. a sincere handshake. Touch others to show that you care and to express your affection. For another. have monetary hardships. or it will result in new eruptions of unsatisfactory behavior. And we experience this distress because we desire things to be different than they are. This is faulty thinking. Your happiness may directly relate to the amount of time you spend doing things you find satisfying and enjoyable. I advocate that your learn to recognize the difference between the things you can change and the things you can not change.7. And some think I am advocating a total passive acceptance of life as it is. and communicate important messages. Accept that you can not change other human beings No one can change someone else. Through touching others. Income taxes exist. nor should they expect another person to become anyone other than who they are. Touch promotes health and helps us to establish love. I hear in my seminars. that’s what is. You accept logic. It is what is. It is a basic human right to be who you are without changing your ideas or behavior to . We are all free human beings and must be respected for what we are. In short. for any forced change will not last. you simply accept facts. it is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering. concentrate your efforts on the things you can change. But you certainly have a choice in how you respond to what is. And a young mother might find looking after her child to be her most meaningful activity. Instead. we experience loneliness. we fulfill much of our human needs. People want things changed. 9. This is certainly not the case. project approval. not for what someone else wants us to be. people equate touch with sex or violence. So they avoid such simple acts as a pat on the back. 10. sickness and accidents.

You know your talk was well received and you have detached from the need to be right. someone who’s opinion you respect. Develop detached mind The vast majority of people on this planet live out their lives knowing only attached mind. If your behavior makes someone else uncomfortable. When he criticizes your presentation. down through neutral to the basement of emotions: depression. In understanding that you can do nothing about it. 2) You climb into the shower with your watch on and the water ruins it. The same goes for you. means to detach only from the negativity in your life. In a situation like this. hostility. You realize that it isn’t what someone says to you that affects you. criticizes your presentation and you respond with hostility. 3) You give a presentation at your club and it is well received. It is what you add to it. you accept what is. This is extreme fluctuation from happiness and joy.satisfy someone else. joy and happiness that life has to offer while detaching from negativity by allowing it to flow through you without affecting you. but because they want to. Your response is neutral. 2) You climbed into the shower wearing your brand new electronic watch. you’ll be more likely to enter into whatever you do without holding anything back. You simply stop judging and labeling what happens to you. But afterward. I’m talking about being totally involved in your life and enjoying everything there is to enjoy. and you become depressed. while detaching from the negativity. 11. To develop conscious detachment. You refuse to get upset to get upset and make matters worse by programming your subconscious mind with negativity. Examples of attached mind: 1) You are enjoying a relaxing afternoon with your mate until he says something to irritate you. By eliminating the negativity. you realize your critic is speaking from his viewpoint. anger. the change is natural and will probably last. one person will compromise in hopes of achieving harmony. This means your state of mind is always changing from positive to negative as outside conditions change. you have more time and room for love and warm interaction. And often they also change. You're are also aware that her response is only an expression of her past programming so to take it personally is foolish. free to be entirely at one with circumstances. This means your state of mind fluctuates only from positive to neutral as outside conditions change. They change. Often in a close relationship. . which has nothing to do with the facts. Your response is anger and you dwell upon the remark for the rest of the day. 3) You give a presentation at your club and it is well received by all but one person. and thus the other person is now reacting to a different. This does not mean having no feelings. The goal is to develop detached mind. It is not a matter of ignoring faults or mistakes. You accept all the warmth. they have the right to leave. When you cease to be concerned with negativity. changed person. Examples of detached mind: 1) You are having a relaxing afternoon with your mate until she says something negative. The water ruins it. not because they are being asked to. it is only what you think about what they say that affects you.

if there were no problems to challenge you. 13. The bigger the problem. There would be no way for you to learn how to handle things and become aware of your capability for making your life work. The real secret to growth and happiness through problems. it enhances contentment. 16. Take the time to enjoy leisure Leisure not only reduces stress. Exercise your body to influence mind There is a direct and powerful connection between physical exercise and mental well being. the happier they become. 17. improves attentiveness. Choose a positive viewpoint You always have the free will to choose how you are going to view an incident or situation. People from 45 up enjoy more self-confidence and are likelier to be more realistic in their expectations. In regard to many problems. Put a positive spin on the negative—even if only to say. Relaxing and enjoying life is often the most productive thing you can do. relieves anxiety. Laughter also has many positive physical side effects such as lowering blood pressure and improving digestion. you eliminate the problem. Exercise increases self-esteem. there would be no growth. And yet by changing your reaction to the situation. is to look upon problems as opportunities. because if you are not being affected by a problem. “Well. the bigger the opportunity. organized and efficient. Learn to use your time successfully Research shows that unorganized people are not as happy as those who are punctual. Losing yourself in others can be great self-therapy. you don’t have a problem. 14. the happier you will be A University of Michigan study of thousands of Americans shows that the older people get. dissipates stress. 18. Take a time management course at your local college if you need help in this area. 15. The older you get. and elevates mood. Give to others Research studies show that altruism increases happiness. I certainly learned a lesson I won’t soon forget.12. nothing about the situation will change but your viewpoint. Investigate a good age-related exercise program. .” As I’ve said in other chapters. Embrace laughter Laughter is valuable in healing and it helps to generate happiness by helping you to maintain a balanced perspective.

If you don’t like the reality you have created. None of us are solitary creatures. 25. friendships. 24. Platonic relationships with the opposite sex round you out as a human being and offer a sounding board for differing viewpoints. including love. 23.19. Use self-hypnosis Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of creating happiness. 22. Real involvement in life creates happiness. Seek out close friends of both sexes Seek out and maintain close friends of both sexes. 21. And if the challenge is built upon a positive premise. Use self change tapes/CDs to support your goals. We all need warm interaction with others to feel fulfilled. . fitness. Once you are clear on your intent. The final chapter tells you how. Challenge generates aliveness. Act to create change You have to act if you want to create change in your life. the aliveness manifests as real enjoyment in doing what you do. Make sure your life includes challenge and aliveness Challenge is critical to your well being and will usually result from wise risking. Protect your health with proper diet and lifestyle Although good health doesn’t produce happiness. 26. 20. Stop blaming others Blame is nothing but an expression of self-pity. stimulation and pleasure that make life worth living. Develop a diverse life Develop a diverse life and many sources of satisfaction. The happiest people take full responsibility for their lives. ill health and pain destroys the feeling of well being. What you think is what is most important. Same sex friends are one of life’s pleasures and will be there to support you in times of need. you have the power to change it and to change yourself. Expectations are the enemy of freedom. hobbies. this mind programming will assist you to accelerate self-change. Stop worrying about what other people think The expectations of others will dominate you if you let them. traveling. the joy. It is the excitement and exhilaration that make you feel glad to be alive. work. spirituality and much more.

Create Happiness Summary
1. Love yourself. 2. Strive for a loving life. 3. Get a job you like. 4. Decide what you want. 5. Change beliefs that work against you. 6. Live as fully as possible in the present. 7. Develop meaningful activities. 8. Open to the power of human touch. 9. Accept that what is, is. 10. Accept that you can not change other human beings. 11. Develop detached mind. 12. Choose a positive viewpoint. 13. Embrace laughter. 14. Exercise your body to influence mind. 15. Take the time to enjoy leisure. 16. Give to others. 17. The older you get, the happier you will be. 18. Learn to use your time successfully. 19. Protect your health with proper diet and lifestyle. 20. Develop a diverse life. 21. Seek out close friends of both sexes. 22. Make sure your life includes challenge and aliveness. 23. Stop worrying about what other people think. 24. Stop blaming others. 25. Act to create change.

• Affirmations •
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
“Every day in every way I love myself more and more.” “I make the time to do things that are satisfying and enjoyable.” “I am self-confident and self-reliant.” “I give love and I am open and receptive to receiving love.” “I catch negative thoughts and turn them positive.”

“Without resistance, I now accept the things I cannot change.” “I choose to live one day at a time.” “I seek out friends of both sexes.” “I accept others as they are without expecting them to change.” “Negativity flows through me without affecting me.” “I now view problems only as opportunities.” “I maintain a daily exercise program.” “I act to create a diverse and thrilling life.” “I know I can change myself in any way I desire.”

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How To Make Your Own Self-Hypnosis Tapes/CDs
The affirmations at the end of each chapter can be used as self-talk or they can be included in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind-programming. Self-talk is a matter of thinking or speaking positive suggestions that support your self-change goals. As examples: 1) You are driving down the road, and instead of daydreaming, you speak the suggestions out loud with real emotion. 2) While waiting to meet someone in a busy location, you think the suggestions over and over. 3) When lying down to sleep, you think or speak the suggestions over and over until you drift off. You get the idea. The repetition provides very real mind-programming power. In time, this positive new programming will override the old negative programming and you will begin to see changes. Self-hypnosis is an ultra-powerful way of programming your subconscious mind to affect change. You can do self-hypnosis by sitting down and following a simple set of instructions, or you can make your own self-hypnosis tape. You don’t need professional recording equipment to make your own effective mindprogramming tape or CD. I use a top-notch recording studio to create the CDs my company offers to the public. But for my own personal use, I often speak into an inexpensive little tape recorder with a built-in microphone. The resulting tape isn’t the greatest quality or mixed with soothing music, but it is custom created to fit my exacting programming needs at that time. If correctly created and used regularly, the tape will be every bit as effective as a professionally created program. You can also do self-hypnosis without the tape/CD, which will be just as effective, but requires more concentration and self-discipline. The instructions that follow will apply both situations. The end-of-chapter affirmations can be used just as they’re written or you can skip some and add some of your own. The secret to powerful, effective suggestions is to phrase them positively, as if you’d already accomplished the goal you desire. As an example, never say, “I want to get rid of a headache.” The word headache might actually make your head ache more. You’d say, “my head now feels good, better than it’s ever felt before.” As another example, you would not say, “I want to become extremely successful.” The suggestion refers to some abstract future. Instead you would say, “I am extremely successful, and every day I become more and more successful.” You get the idea.

down. And the relaxing power moves on down into the base of my spine.. permeating every cell and every atom. deeper. Number three: deeper. And the relaxing power now moves on up my legs to my knees. deeper.The Technique First.. down. and into the back of my neck and shoulder muscles. down.. deeper. Number one .. And I am now relaxed and at ease and I feel a sense of deepness. down. down. Number six: deeper.. deeper. down as you count backward from seven to one.. deeper. down. deeper. deeper. deeper. down. deeper. down. Number five: deeper. deeper. and on up my legs to my thighs and to my hips. down. this allows you to retain the moisture in your mouth. And the relaxing power drains down into my facial muscles . to sleep . down. deeper. down.. And my forearms are relaxing . up my spine. down.. Take a very deep in-breath. My jaw is relaxed. and my upper arms are relaxing. deeper. I leave a little space between my teeth. play the role. and I imagine a warmth in the base of my spine. Deepening Visualize yourself in a situation in which you are going down. down. down. deeper. down. Number four: deeper. Number six: deeper. down. Number four: deeper. play the part and imagine your body relaxing in response to the suggestions.. down.. Then let the breath out slowly through slightly parted lips.. deeper. down.. down. Number seven: deeper. down. Then repeat the process. deeper. loose and limp ... down. Number two: deeper. relaxing my scalp. down. relaxing my hands. relaxing my facial muscles. down. down. Number two: deeper. Body Relaxation Close your eyes. An my full attention is on relaxing my body as the relaxing power now moves on up into the fingers of both of my hands . down. Number five: deeper. and all tension is gone from my body and mind. my scalp . deeper. deeper... Completely relaxed. When you think the air is all the way out. just completely relaxed. down. deeper. down. Number seven: deeper.. It is moving right on down into my arches . When you begin to relax your physical body. Completely relaxed. down. contract your stomach muscles and push it even further out.. I remain consciously aware of my surrounding.. Number three: deeper. down.. And the relaxing power now moves on up the back of my neck and into. deeper. and hold it for as long as you comfortably can. use deep breathing to relax your body and mind. down. Do this for a couple minutes before you begin the body relaxation. Number one. And the warmth now moves slowly up my spine . up my spine . into my heels. And my throat is relaxed. but my body is going to sleep ... . down. to sleep. down. deeper. and right on up into my ankles... down.. deeper.. deeper. down. deep altered state of consciousness. and I am now in a deep. down. My fingers and hands and forearms and upper arms are now just completely relaxed. And the back of my neck and shoulder muscles are loose and limp . down. deeper. relaxing all the muscles as it goes . My entire body is now relaxed all over in every way ... deeper. down. Use the following as a recording script or paraphrase the words in your mind: The relaxing power is now entering the toes of both of my feet at the same time.

give yourself a suggestion such as the following: And I’m now relaxed and at ease and I can awaken at any time by simply counting up from one to five and say the words. director and star. and so it is. but as the director you are in control of their words. Your friend is amazed at your thin body and proceeds to tell you so. They are the same thing. then stop at your desired weight. Imagine the process of trying on the clothes. Insert from 9 to 15 appropriate suggestions/affirmations as found at the end of each chapter or create your own. ///// And I’m now going to visualize my desires as already being successfully accomplished.. and I’ll think and act with calm self-assurance . Everything. By seeing your goals as accomplished. Visualize what you desire as a mental movie. or deep in a meditative state. You imagine the events exactly the way you like to experience them in real life. On the count of five I will open my eyes and be wide awake.. You are the producer. once again. I’ve just seen my own reality. I’ll awaken feeling as if I’ve just had a refreshing nap. and they will be accepted on every level of my body and mind. Feel the elation. As an example if you desire to lose weight. it’s time to imagine another mental movie. Use other people in your movies. Spend one to three minutes visualizing. I fantasize the desired result of this programming. It then beings to work in subtle ways to manifest the inner belief in your outer life. Create all the dialogue and interaction.. and they’ve been accepted on every level of my body and mind. Next repeat the suggestions. and upon awakening I will remember all that has been communicated. Repeat it over and over from 10 to 20 times. And I’m gong to begin with suggestions that will be communicated to every level of my body and mind. I mark it. //// And now. my feelings and reactions . “wide awake. or deep in hypnosis. support the visualizations with phrases like the following: I’ve just seen my own reality and the visualizations manifest in my life. I will shout the words out silently and imagine them echoing out across the universe and back to me. 2) While out in the world. your subconscious is able to fully comprehend the goal. I ask it. so it responds best to visual programming. 3) You’re shopping in a clothing store and the salesclerk asks your size (use the size you want to be). you imagine the smile on your face. by creating every detail in my mind . here are some variations: 1) You see yourself step on a scale and watch the dial swing. You hear yourself exclaim with delight. Vary your mental movies. I feel the life blood returning to my arms and legs. And I’m now going to repeat a mantra to saturate my mind with a message. actions and reactions. My head will be clear. Next. Number one. One to three minutes visualizing. and it becomes my reality.At this point you are deep in an altered state of consciousness. you run into a friend you haven’t seen for a long time.. whichever you prefer to call it. I’ve programmed this suggestion on every level of my being. They fit perfectly. The clerk compliments you on your figure. feeling glad to be alive and peace with myself. .. Then say: And these suggestions have been communicated to every level of my body and mind. That’s right. the world and everyone in it.” So I’m always in control of my mind-programming sessions. Your subconscious mind is a visual consciousness. Create one sentence that best expresses what you desire. and you feel the elation. slow down. the reactions of others. I beseech it. Next..

use earplugs. If you wear contact lenses and normally remove them when you go to sleep. the suggestions will become more effective. Do a hypnosis session at least once a day. The Environment Certain conditions are more conducive than others to doing altered-state work. you might want to have a pencil and paper beside you when you awaken so you can quickly write down any impressions you desire to remember. Once you are conditioned. If you fall asleep twice while in the prone position. Number four. wide awake. Each session conditions your subconscious mind and you don’t want to condition it to fall asleep when you go into hypnosis. If you are sitting. There is no way to judge how long it will take. but it has very little reasoning power. use one of the sleep masks available at most drugstores. thus it can easily be programmed contrary to your conscious desires. every day. You may either sit in a chair or lie down. you may also want to play another tape/CD at the same time to block out the noise. do your sessions in a sitting position for a few days. be sure both feet are flat on the floor and place your hands on your legs. use headphones. Do not cross your legs. try to pick a time when you will not be interrupted and a place where it is quiet. and New Age music might also be helpful. The prone position is best unless it causes you to go to sleep. If your environment is noisy. it takes 21 days of use to fully condition your body/mind to easily attain your natural altered-state depth. coming on up feeling an internal balance and harmony. Sound effects programs such as rain or the ocean are good. Number five. . Your subconscious mind contains all of the memories of this life (and past lives). If you’ve smoked 20 years.Number two. every time you raised a cigarette to your lips and drew in the smoke. Understandably. If it is extremely noisy. Retaining the Impressions Subjective impressions received or created while in an altered state may seem dreamlike and fade rapidly when you awaken. For this reason. unless you know how to work with it. If you’re using a tape. wide awake. An overly warm room is much better than a cool one. take them out before going into an altered state. ALTERED-STATE TIPS Conditioning On average. Number three. Avoid altered-state work when you’re very tired. Darkness helps most people to visualize more effectively. it is only the habit pattern that is to be avoided. Body Position For your self-hypnosis sessions. it may take a lot of non-smoking suggestions to override the old programming. returning to my waking state. any weight can feel heavier during hypnosis. Change will occur if you are patient and tenacious. coming on up and at peace with all life. you were enforcing a positive smoking suggestion. so if you don’t have a dark room. But keep at it. There is no danger whatsoever in falling asleep while in an altered state.

If you’re simply going too deep. College students often use it to stay fully alert during an exam. “Stabilize! On the count of three I will stabilize and the swaying ceases.” “willpower.The Tripping Problem Once you are fully conditioned. Spinning or Swaying A small percentage of people sometimes experience a feeling of spinning or swaying while in an altered state. . you are not just falling asleep. A couple 400 IU capsules of vitamin E and two tablespoons of honey is another upper.” You are always in control in selfhypnosis/meditation. especially when combined with a few minutes of stretching or exercise. You won’t be quite as comfortable. it is not a matter for concern and will usually disappear within 30 minutes. The honey instantly puts sugar in your system while the vitamin E extends the oxygen.” “motivation. There is nothing to fear. The word you choose might be “concentration. It will keep you wide awake and mentally alert for up to four hours.” “energy”—whatever you want it to be. You may actually be too good of a subject and be “tripping” or drifting in and out. you may sometimes go into an altered state and not remember anything upon awakening. Although somewhat uncomfortable. To stop the effect. I usually take about 500 milligrams before going out on stage to conduct a seminar. If you are working with a tape and open your eyes on the count of five. Headaches On rare occasions. especially toward the end of the induction. try sitting up against a wall or in a chair while in the altered state. don’t close your eyes until you get to the seven-to-one countdown. don’t do any deep breathing before the induction. three. two. Once you have become conditioned. Other techniques that may help if you’re falling asleep or tripping out: Niacinamide (vitamin B3) opens all the deep-level blood vessels within about 20 minutes after you take it. you are probably attempting to leave your body and astral project. The programming is highly effective once you have become conditioned and begun to use it. If you’re working with a tape. simply give yourself the strong command. someone will awaken from an altered state with a headache that feels like a tight band around the forehead. one. in keeping with your goal. First. Don’t use this if you’ve been drinking alcohol as it will work in reverse—as a downer. you may also want to limit the body relaxation to simply imagining a wave of relaxation moving from your toes to your head. There are several ways to deal with this tendency. but this may help to keep you from tripping. Trigger Word Post-Hypnotic Mind Programming The trigger word technique is post-hypnotic programming to use when you need an extra lift to support your goal. Another technique is to make sure you stay fully conscious during the initial part of the induction.

it will become more and more effective. See it in your mind. The words “_____________________” now become my conditioned-response technique and I will experience it as totally effective. The words ‘Master of Life’ now become a post-hypnotic suggestion for mental tranquility. As the test subject was exposed to exposed to each situation. The next stage of the test was to have the subject sit and concentrate upon the situations described by the researchers. balance.. conceive it with as much imagination as possible. The results of the test showed the exact same patterns . and harmony.. Test subjects would be placed in a room and wired to an EEG machine. take a couple of deep breaths. peace. And you will experience the suggestion as totally effective. living in harmony with yourself and your world. As an example. take a deep breath and say these words quietly to yourself. between the real experience and the imagined experience. “Dog barked here. her brain waves were once again being recorded. a color would be projected. Someone would now run into the room and fire a gun. close your eyes.” The words “____________________” are a conditioned-response key to my subconscious mind and when I say these words. “ Trigger Word Script For You To Use And I am now going to give myself some key trigger words for conditioned response. and harmony. close my eyes. Each situation was marked on the recording paper so the researchers would know what had transpired to create each pattern. And I am now going to give you some key trigger words for posthypnotic conditioned response. and say these words quietly to myself . it caused his brain waves to form patterns on the recording instruments.. I will simply stop what I am doing. Every time you hear this suggestion and every time you use your ‘Master of Life’ programming. One of the initial tests that proved this was the recording of brain wave patterns under specific conditions. When I say these key trigger words I will ____________________. “Master of Life” are a conditioned response signal to your subconscious mind and when you say these words.. ‘Master of Life. / / / All right. This conditioned-response technique draws upon the power of your mind to support you in the fulfillment of your enlightenment goal.’ The words. balance. you will experience peace. “I now want you to imagined yourself watching a woman doing a dance. Any time in your daily life that you find yourself needing to recall your dedication to the goal of enlightenment. you will simply stop what you are doing. a dog would bark.” as an example.” While the subject was concentrating upon these imagined situations.Here’s an example as to how it is used on my Master of Life Video Hypnosis programming: “And you now become a Master of Life. Any time in my daily life that I find myself ____________. “_________________________. And every time I hear this suggestions and every time I use my “__________________” programming. it will become more and more effective.” Why Hypnosis Works Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality . I will draw upon the unlimited power of my subconscious mind to support me in the fulfillment of my desires. fantasize it. Someone else would do a dance. I now want you to imagine a dog barking. et cetera.

is given structure by the thoughts and memories that dictate your actions. The brain waves were identical. especially by vividly imagining what you desire as if it were already so. who had been practicing a full hour every day for a month.” it solved the mystery regarding why the use of altered states can result in life-changing insights. the group that only imagined shooting baskets successfully programmed their subconscious mind to perform almost as effectively as those who had actually practiced. Another supportive series of tests were conducted by the University of Chicago. The subconscious will always work to replicate your inner programming in your outer life. Your brain. Do this each day for the month. who hadn’t played basketball for a month. The structure of your body is composed of bones. Prigogine’s theory states that complex structures (such as the human brain) require an enormous and consistent flow of energy to maintain. Three test groups of subjects took part in a mental programming experiment based upon shooting a basketball. In the brain that energy is measured as brain-wave levels on an EEG machine.” Group Two was told. It can be programmed.of up and down brain waves were created when the woman came into the room and did a dance as when the subject imagined her doing a dance. Called “the theory of dissipative structures. muscles. Obviously. In fact.” Group Three was told. Fantasize yourself at being successful shooting baskets. These and many similar tests show how our subconscious computer actually creates the reality for which it is programmed. A breakthrough in physics research shows how the use of altered states of consciousness can lead to a transformation in nearly every part of your life. “You are to spend one hour a day imagining you are successfully shooting baskets. the three groups were again tested as to their basket-shooting ability. The Group One participants. “Don’t play any basketball for a month. everyday. All the participating students were tested as to their individual basket-shooting ability and the results were tabulated. Here’s how the theory works as applied to real people: First. tested 23 percent improved in their actual basketshooting ability—only one percentage point less than the group that had actually been practicing. It is the programming of your brain that provides it with structure. An experimentally confirmed theory earned Belgian chemist Ilya Prigogine a Nobel Prize. Group Three. just forget about basketball for the entire month. “You are each to practice shooting baskets for one full hour a day. demonstrated a 24-percent improvement in their basketshooting ability. See every detail of your accomplishments in your mind. and ligaments.” One month later. And it can be fooled—tricked. The up-and-down pattern of these . human beings are structures. who had only imagined that they were successfully shooting baskets for an hour each day. Group Two. however. The same was true with all other situations with all of the test subjects. Group One was told. tested exactly the same as they did the first time. and the relief of lifelong phobias or ailment. so the computer part of the mind was obviously incapable of telling the real from the imagined. new behavior patterns. Now. for the month.

while happiness and success are self-bestowed. powerful insight into an unsolved problem and you may even release yourself from its effects. According to Prigogine’s theory. Your brain dismantles its old concepts and reorganizes them into new. However. et cetera—your brain-wave levels shift to alpha and theta. And they are even more vulnerable to fluctuations of energy. There is also an added bonus. That’s why changes suggested to a conscious mind usually have little effect. when you change your state of consciousness through the use of altered-state techniques—hypnosis. your brain-wave levels would show up on an EEG as small. the more you program self-improvement. If you carry this concept to its logical conclusion. the larger the fluctuation of energy. There is a lot of fluctuation in the level of energy in these altered states. large fluctuations of energy (such as alpha and theta rhythms) can cause the structure to break apart and reorganize itself into a higher and even more complex form. relaxation. That’s why suggestions given to an individual exploring in the alpha and theta brain-wave levels are so effective in creating change. The message is suppressed by all the existing programming. rapid. creates a ripple effect that tears apart old programming and creates new behaviors and viewpoints. every time you trigger a collapse of memory or data structures and your brain reorganizes them into more complex forms. more complex. However. dropped into the uneven alpha rhythms like a pebble into a pond. small fluctuations of energy (such as beta rhythms) are suppressed by the brain.wave levels reflects a fluctuation in the amount of energy reaching the brain. so it stays essentially the same. In wide-awake beta consciousness. and usually more meaningful forms. There is little fluctuation in the level of energy. or to program or reprogram your mind. you increase your chances of success the next time you do it. The new suggestion. You may experience a sudden. . In other words. you’ll see that every time you successfully use an altered state of consciousness to achieve new insights. Each transformation makes the next one likelier. the easier it gets. meditation. says Prigogine. the more unstable it is. When this shift occurs. it requires more energy to maintain those new structures. Basically. up-and-down lines. The larger the fluctuation of brain-wave levels. the more complex a structure is. you may become aware of information about your life and goals that your old mental structures kept hidden from you. and the easier it is to trigger the next transformation. You see. And the more you’ll understand how unhappiness and failure are self-inflicted.

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