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26 It is not that we are not conscious; we are quite conscious of thinking about the restaurants, but we are not aware that we have stopped reading the book. If we were, we would have developed meta-consciousness. It is such consciousness of what we are experiencing at the moment that I want to consider, wedded to the choice of whether or not we want to go along with or change that experience. I have not been able to find a single term to describe this type of consciousness; the best I have been able to come up with is attentively considering our emotional feelings. (To avoid repeating the entire phrase I will sometimes abbreviate it by just using the term attentive or attentiveness, in italics.) When we are being attentive, as I mean it, we are able to observe ourselves during an emotional episode, ideally before more than a few seconds have passed. We recognize that we are being emotional and can consider whether or not our response is justified. We can reevaluate, reappraise, and if that is not successful, then direct what we say and do. This occurs while we are experiencing the emotion, as soon as we have become conscious of our emotional feelings and actions. Most people are rarely so attentive to their emotional feelings, but such attentiveness is possible to achieve. I believe that we can develop the ability to be attentive so it will become a habit, a standard part of our lives. When that happens, we will feel more in touch, and better able to regulate our emotional life. There are many ways to develop this type of attentiveness. One method people can use to become more attentive to their emotions is to use the knowledge about the causes of each emotion described in chapters 5 through 9. By becoming more familiar with what triggers our emotions, we can increase our consciousness of when and why our emotions occur. A crucial part of taking this route to increasing attentiveness is having the ability to identify our own hot emotional triggers and being able to take steps to weaken them. The goal is not to be devoid of emotion, but instead to have more choice once we become emotional about how we will enact that emotion. Learning about the sensations, the bodily feelings that distinguish each emotion, should also help to focus our attentiveness. Normally, we are consciously aware of these sensations, but we don't focus on