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(ORIGINALLY A 7 MIN. CRIMSON CHIN CARTOON – NOW AN 11 MIN. FOP EPISODE)
WRITTEN BY BUTCH HARTMAN AND STEVE MARMEL
FIRST DRAFT: 9.11.02 SECOND DRAFT: 9.27.02 THIRD DRAFT: 10.2.02 FINAL DRAFT: 10.7.02 *
(*Third draft approved as final)
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 2
NICKELODEON ANIMATION STUDIO C2002 VIACOM INTERNATIONAL INC. FADE IN: EXT. - TURNER HOUSE - DAY ON THE HOUSE - We push in. TIMMY (O.S.) But Mom, I don't see why I have to take a bath! DISSOLVE TO: INT. - TIMMY'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS ON TIMMY - Filthy, DIRT encrusted from head to toe. WIDEN TO REVEAL MOM and DAD, in HAZMAT SUITS, standing next to Timmy. Mom pulls out a pair of TONGS and pulls off Timmy's CLOTHES. Dad reaches O.S. with his Tongs and flips Timmy into the bathtub. ON TIMMY in the tub - Naked, except for his hat. NOTE: We will never see Timmy fully naked (duh.) MOM That's because the dirt's blocking your eyes! DAD Have a nice bath! TIMMY (slyly) You mean you're not going to stay in here just to make sure I take it? DAD Timmy, you're ten! You're old enough to be naked in a tub of water all by yourself now! MOM Besides... Mom and Dad exit and shut the DOOR.
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 3
CUT TO: EXT. - THE BATHROOM DOOR - CONTINUOUS
MOM ...we totally trust you! On "TRUST YOU" Mom and Dad pull out acetylene TORCHES and welds the door. DAD See you in 11 minutes! CUT TO: INT. - BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Timmy settles into the tub. He reaches O.S. and grabs a CRIMSON CHIN COMIC BOOK. TIMMY Well, at least I have my trusty Crimson Chin comic book to pass the time! (re: Book) Oh no! COSMO and WANDA pop up from the bath WATER as GOLDFISH. WANDA What's the matter, Timmy? COSMO Besides the fact we're swimming in your filth? Timmy reveals the comic book - The Crimson Chin fights his water based arch-enemy, H2OLGA. The CRIMSON CHIN and H2Olga are struggling on the cover, and MOVING! The book is glowing with MAGIC SPARKLES - Timmy has CLEARLY wished the book alive already and it has already come to life. TIMMY Oh no! This is last month's book that I wished to life! The one where he saves Chincinnati from H2OLGA!
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 4
COSMO So? TIMMY I can't have a nice relaxing soak in the tub with last month's Crimson Chin! I need this month's! I wish I was at the comic store!
WANDA What about your parents? TIMMY I can be there and back before they even know I'm gone! Cosmo and Wanda wave their WANDS... POOF! Timmy disappears. The comic book flutters to the edge of the bathtub where it dangles precariously. SMASH CUT TO: INT. - COMIC BOOK STORE - CONTINUOUS CLOSE ON TIMMY'S FACE TIMMY Cool! I'm at the comic store! FAST TRUCK OUT TO REVEAL - Timmy is, in fact, at the comic store... And he's naked. His "area" is obscured by a CARDBOARD SUPERHERO DISPLAY OF A CAT-LIKE HERO whose tail blocks his Timmy privates. TIMMY And I'm naked! THOSE MORONS! TWO GEEKS pop their heads over a shelf. They both hold up "NAKED LAD" COMIC BOOKS. On the cover: A "naked-ish" super hero who looks a lot like Timmy. GEEK KID ONE Do my ears deceive me? Was that the cry of Naked Lad! GEEK KID TWO
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 5
Lets get his naked autograph! Timmy <<SCREAMS>> and runs like hell. GEEK KID ONE I told you he had super naked speed! CUT TO: INT. - TIMMY'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS CLOSE ON THE PILE OF TIMMY'S CLOTHES We WIDEN TO SEE Cosmo and Wanda in the bathtub... They have no idea they have sent a naked Timmy across town. WANDA Whatya wanna do next? COSMO Let's see how long we can hold our breath under water! Cosmo holds his breath and starts to sink underwater. WANDA But you're a fish! You don't have to hold your breath! COSMO (half under water) What? Cosmo sinks into the tub. Wanda rolls her eyes and follows. ANGLE ON – THE CRIMSON CHIN COMIC BOOK as it hangs precariously on the edge of the Tub. We PUSH IN on the book and dissolve to: EXT. – CHINCINNATI – DAY We see the majestic offices of the great metropolitan newspaper, the Daily Blabbity. DISSOLVE TO: INT. – DAILY BLABBITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 6
CHARLES, in his suit and tie (but still wearing his Crimson Chin mask) stands next to BEVERLY BOULEVARD – a Lois Lane type - who is holding the most adorable BABY ever. BEVERLY Oh, Charles, I appreciate you watching my niece for me this afternoon! CHARLES It's my pleasure, Beverly Boulevard, nonsuper-powered reporter for the Daily Blabbity! It's my hope that doing something nice for you, you will in turn, fall in love with me: the sensitive caring man who has always pined for you. She looks at him, completely dumbstruck. Beverly, slowly and awkwardly, creeps out of frame. CHARLES Whoops. Did that come out of my mouth? That was supposed to stay in a thought bubble. Charles awkwardly holds the baby. He looks at it. It smiles ever so cutely. CHARLES After all...how much trouble can one baby be? The baby instantly BARFS on Charles, craps its diaper and starts crying. CHARLES Well, now that it's empty… At super speed, Charles swiftly changes the baby's DIAPER. HEFTY VOICE FROM OUTSIDE (V.O.) Help! Help! CHARLES Great Jaws of Justice! That is clearly a cry for help from a hefty man!
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 7
Charles quickly looks around -- the coast is clear. He places the baby atop a water cooler, flexes his muscles, ripping his clothes off, revealing the Crimson Chin we know and love. CRIMSON CHIN This looks like a job for the Crimson Chin! The Chin ZIPS OS, leaving the baby on the water cooler. The Chin zips back into scene and grabs the kid. CRIMSON CHIN ...and this odiferous young humanoid! The baby gurgles as the Chin flies OS with it, as we... CUT TO: EXT. - STREETS OF DIMMSDALE - CONTINUOUS CLOSE ON A BUS BENCH - Timmy's head peers out from behind it. TIMMY Aw man! When Cosmo and Wanda poofed me out of the bathtub, they did it without dressing me first! Timmy runs from the BENCH over to, and behind, a MAIL BOX. As he runs, a CITY BUS drives through scene and blocks our view so we never see him fully naked. TIMMY And if I don't get back home in the next ten minutes, Mom and Dad'll know I didn't take my bath! They'll totally kill me! Or worse, make me take another bath! Timmy runs, an OSCAR MEYER WEINER-TYPE MOBILE rolls through, blocking our view of Timmy. He hides behind a STREET LAMP. TIMMY I should be able to get home in time... I just hope nobody sees me! WIDEN TO REVEAL - Timmy is in front of an Electronics Store. The TV'S in the window FLICKER to life... ON THE SCREENS: We see the MAYOR and CHOMPY, both standing at a PODIUM.
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 8
MAYOR And now, Chompy and I are proud to announce our street corner traffic cameras are finally up and running! We can now see what's going on on any given street corner at any given time! Chompy <<BLEATS HAPPILY>> MAYOR That's right, Chompy! And now, flip the switch and send Dimmsdale streets into the future! Chompy hits a BUTTON. CLICK! Every television flicks off the picture of the Mayor and Chompy and flicks on a shot of Naked Timmy. Naked Timmy is obscured by a street sign. MAYOR (O.S.) CHOMPY! SHIELD YOUR EYES! TIMMY'S POV: The Street Corner camera pointed right at him. Timmy covers himself with his HAT, and runs O.S. TIMMY WAUGHH!!! ON TIMMY - Running (we see him from the waist up) TIMMY I gotta get home, quick! But on the bright side, as long as Mom and Dad don't have to go into the bathroom for any reason, I'll be okay!! SMASH CUT TO: INT. - TURNER KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Dad and Mom sit at the Kitchen table. Dad holds a PITCHER of water. Mom sits in front of a LARGE BOWL. DAD Hey, Honey! Let's have a water drinking contest! MOM
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 9
Okay! Just as soon as I'm done sprinkling these CHOCOLATE LAXATIVES on my HIGH FIBER-OS! Dad starts guzzling water. Mom starts wolfing down cereal. DISSOLVE TO: INT. - TIMMY'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS ON THE BOOK - Dipping into the water. PUSH IN on a panel... EXT. - A CITY PARK - CONTINUOUS The Chin, wearing a BABY BACKPACK with the baby inside, lands in Chincinnati City Park. CRIMSON CHIN Well, this is the panel of the comic I heard the hefty man's scream coming from... Dancing Dimples!!! The Camera ZIP PANS over to: H2OLGA! A water-based female supervillain standing next to a park water fountain.
H2OLGA Help! Help! The Chin ZINGS into scene. CRIMSON CHIN H2Olga! You're the hefty man, screaming for help? H2OLGA (thick Russian accent) That's right, Crimson Chin! I need help... arranging your funeral once I use my control of all liquids to destroy you once and for all! HAA! She concentrates with all her might. A small STREAM OF WATER jumps from the fountain and SPLATS against the Chin's head.
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 10
H2OLGA Had enough? CRIMSON CHIN HA! Surrender, Silly Villain! This is a city! There's no body of water large enough for you to smite me! The baby claps and smiles. CRIMSON CHIN Aw... That's adorable! Justice makes it giggle! CUT TO: INT. - TIMMY'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS The comic book, starts to slowly slide into the tub. A corner of the book touches the water and dips inside. CLOSE ON A PANEL OF THE BOOK that's touching the water. We see H2Olga realize... The comic book is now touching a huge body of water! Timmy's tub! H2OLGA H-2-Omygosh! (smiles, looks off panel) Oh, Crimson Chin? DIFFERENT PANEL - On the Chin and the baby. CRIMSON CHIN Yes? SPLOOSH! A massive STREAM OF WATER pounds into the Chin and knocks him O.S. The baby flies into the air, <<GIGGLING.>> CRIMSON CHIN AAA!!! A LARIAT OF WATER grabs the baby and pulls it to H2Olga. H2OLGA You're so cute and innocent... I can't wait to raise you to be evil!
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 11
DISSOLVE TO: EXT. - THE DIMMSDALE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM - CONTINUOUS CLOSE ON - A NEWSPAPER PHOTO OF TIMMY - It's the same naked shot we saw of him on the TV. A headline reads "Naked Terror stuns city! Chompy scarred for life!" PULL BACK TO REVEAL it's a newspaper which Timmy is holding in front of his "area." TIMMY I'll just take this shortcut through the Dimmsdale Museum of Science and Natural History, and I'll be home in no time! Timmy runs into the Museum. DISSOLVE TO: INT. - THE DIMMSDALE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM - CONTINUOUS Timmy runs, blocked by a series of DINOSAUR BONES, SUITS OF ARMOR, SHIELDS, SKELETONS, etc. Suddenly... TIMMY OH NO! TIMMY'S POV - We see CHESTER, AJ, ELMER and SANJAY, all taking a tour. A FEMALE MUSEUM WORKER gives the tour. FEMALE MUSEUM WORKER Welcome to the museum of science and natural history! CHESTER Why did I let you even drag me here? AJ I told you! They have a cool new display of our solar system! CHESTER Wow, that's cool, and by cool, I mean "WHO CARES?!?"
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ON TIMMY - He runs up to a CURTAINED DISPLAY with a sign that reads "Solar System." He jumps behind the curtains. FEMALE MUSEUM WORKER Behold, the glory of our universe! She rips the cloth off the display... Revealing Timmy, standing with his back to us. ON CHESTER, AJ, SANJAY AND ELMER - Chester tilts his head sideways to get a good look. CHESTER Nice moon. (to AJ) Glad we came! Off everyone's horrified expressions, we... DISSOLVE TO: INT. - TIMMY'S BATHROOM / ON THE COMIC BOOK - CONTINUOUS ON A PANEL - ON THE CHIN - Flying towards H2Olga CRIMSON CHIN Unhand that child that isn't mine! ON OLGA - Smiling. H2OLGA Un...hand? That's a great idea! Olga creates a GIANT WATER FIST that punches the Chin, knocking him over the tops of some buildings. ON THE BOOK - Sliding deeper into the tub. ON H2OLGA - The WATER rising above her waist. She examines the laughing child. H2OLGA Ha! Evil makes it giggle! She sees the water rising above her waist and smiles evilly. ON A DIFFERENT PANEL - The Chin, still flying from the force of the water fist, lands in front of a skyscraper. CRIMSON CHIN
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 13
Beverly's niece is in danger! There's not a moment to... (sees something) GREAT JAWS OF JUSTICE! A DIFFERENT PANEL - We see a MASSIVE TIDAL WAVE rolling down the center of Chincinnati, right towards the Crimson Chin. EVIL FIGHTING MONTAGE: Shot 1: A BOY and his DOG. The dog lifts its leg... just as the Chin flies in and whooshes them out of the way just before the tidal wave sweeps through scene. CRIMSON CHIN That's enough liquid for one issue, thank you! Shot 2: On a CITY BUS - Trying to get out of the way. The wave is about overtake the bus when the Chin leaps in, lifts the bus above his head and Flies O.S. Just as the water whooshes through scene. BUS PASSENGERS It's the Crimson Chin! Shot 3: On a long stretch of a city street. PEOPLE stand around watching the wave get higher and higher. The chin jumps in and, grabs the CONCRETE and shakes it like a gigantic rug, shaking the people out of the way. DIFFERENT ANGLE - We see buses, cars and people all piled atop the tallest skyscraper in Chincinnati. The wave settles and covers every building except the skyscraper. CRIMSON CHIN Well, that's everybody. Suddenly, a GIGANTIC WATER HAND reaches into scene and grabs the Crimson Chin. CRIMSON CHIN GAK! We WIDEN TO REVEAL H2Olga is now a huge 500FT WATER MONSTER. H2OLGA Ha! Now that I've destroyed this page of the book, there's nothing to stop me from destroying... Page eight!
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 14
CRIMSON CHIN No! That's where the staples are! Without them, this book will fall apart! (Struggles) Must... stop... H2 Olga!!! BABY (V.O.) <<Giggles>> ON A RADIO ANTENNAE - Poking out of the water. Hanging from her diaper: The Baby. CRIMSON CHIN Of course! Getting an idea to beat H2Olga makes it giggle! ON THE CHIN - Who focuses his telescopic vision. CHIN'S POV - We ZOOM INTO the diaper to read: Super Absorbent! ON THE CHIN AND H2OLGA CRIMSON CHIN Hey, what's that on your arm? H2OLGA Where? ZAP! The Crimson Chin blasts her arm with his heat vision, turning the water to steam. H2OLGA AAAGH! CRIMSON CHIN Made you look! The Chin zips off panel. The CAMERA FOLLOWS the Chin as he grabs the baby, then flies six inches above the water dipping the baby's diapered butt inside. BABY Ha! Ha! The diaper absorbs all the water in Chincinnati!! The city is now totally dry! ON OLGA - looking around in a panic.
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 15
H2OLGA What... What is happening? ON THE CHIN - As he soaks up the last of the water. CRIMSON CHIN I'll tell you what's happening... The Chin swirls around Olga, entirely absorbing her in the diaper. CRIMSON CHIN JUSTICE! EVERYBODY ON THE SKYSCAPER YAY! Crimson Chin!! ON THE CRIMSON CHIN smiling, holding the baby. The Diaper is large, and we see Olga's shape inside, fighting to get out. H2OLGA I'll get out of here, Crimson Chin! And when I do... The baby instantly barfs on the Chin, and craps its diaper. H2OLGA AAAAAGH!! CRIMSON CHIN It just goes to show you Olga... When you live a life of crime, you'll always be... Number 2. CRIMSON CHIN AND BABY <<LAUGH AND GIGGLE>> SFX: BAM BAM BAM!!! ON THE DOOR Widen to reveal - The Tub. Wanda pops up first, knocking the Chin book OFF THE EDGE and safely onto the floor. WANDA What was that? CUT TO: INT. - OUTSIDE TIMMY'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 16
Mom and Dad are desperately struggling to get into the room. Dad is standing cross-legged, doing the "I gotta pee" dance. Mom is holding her <<RUMBLING STOMACH.>> DAD I can't believe I let you talk me into a water drinking contest! MOM Timmy, let us in!!! CUT TO: INT. - TIMMY'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS ON COSMO AND WANDA in the tub. WANDA Oh no! It's Timmy's parents! COSMO OH NO! BACK TO THE FILTH! Cosmo dunks back into the tub. TIMMY (O.S.) Psst! Cosmo! Wanda! POOF! Wanda POOFS up the bathroom window. She looks out to see: WANDA'S POV - We see Timmy, hiding behind a tree, waving his hat to get her attention! TIMMY I WISH I WAS BACK IN THE TUB! Wanda waves her wand, Timmy poofs into the tub as Cosmo and Wanda sink back into the tub. Mom and Dad break down the door. Dad grabs Timmy. DAD You're clean enough! Out! Dad hurls Timmy out of the bathroom and slams the door. CUT TO:
The Fairly OddParents: “Crime Wave” or “Naked Justice” final draft script by Hartman and Marmel 5/18/2009 17
EXT. - BY THE BATHROOM DOOR - CONTINUOUS A naked Timmy now stands outside his own bathroom door. Cosmo and Wanda poof in as FAIRIES next to him. TIMMY Well, at least I'm naked in my own house. MOM (V.O.) Hey! I'm going to need some toilet paper! DAD (V.O.) HEY! Last month's Crimson Chin! Try page eight! CRIMSON CHIN (V.O.) NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! And on that, we IRIS OUT. END OF EPISODE
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