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History Lesson Teridocx

History Lesson Teridocx

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Published by trdunsworth
History Lessons
History Lessons

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Published by: trdunsworth on Aug 01, 2013
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Wow love, how do you combine five years into something not quite book length?

Well, I will give it a try and see what I come up with. I have to laugh about parts of it, because if I don't there are parts which would likely floor me. However, since you want to know, I will try and catch up. As you are aware, I've divorced and remarried. That was for the best in the end. I don't know how much you were aware of things between my ex-wife and I, but I barely survived that marriage and it seems now the damage that Richard has sustained could be permanent. When I started working for ExamOne, Jamie was near the end of her pregnancy. I had been working, beforehand, for a freight forwarder in LA and was generally happy with my work environment. I was laid off in September of 2001. I came back to KC in October because I was told that ExamOne was hiring French teachers. I needed a job and when I found out that was a lie, but they were still hiring, I went with what I had. As you know, I left in 2005 and went over to Diebold. The main reason I went was I wasn't going anywhere with ExamOne. I couldn't get in with IT because I didn't have documentation of experience, and I couldn't really go anywhere in CMC because I was already a senior rep and team lead just wasn't getting there. I was doing more than any other team lead, as I picked up Becky's reports from the field office group and was cross trained in special accounts, etc. Unless Adam or Cindy went anywhere, I was stuck and it wasn't fulfilling. That's why any time you mentioned bringing me up there, I was willing to do anything you asked to get there. Becky Brunning had gone over to Diebold to work on ATM's and told me they were hiring dispatchers and that the money was better than I was making at X1. I wasn't about to turn that down and when I was hired, I took off and headed for Canton for 2 weeks. It was then that Miranda came down to visit for the weekend. Ana was supposed to come along as well, but her boyfriend at the time decided to stay in town. After I started working at Diebold, I ended up starting back to school. I missed a promotion chance there when an installer with nearly 30 years in applied for the same position on the last day. The hardest part of it for me wasn't losing the position to Jim, it was starting the training for the position and then finding out I did not get the promotion. Inside Diebold, even though I had demonstrated a lot of knowledge about the IT world, I could not get anywhere in the company because I didn't have a degree. Couple that with them bringing out someone from Canton to work in our office alongside us and he was suddenly the technical darling even though he refused to do any work, and our office was about to split apart at the seams. It was during this time I came to Detroit to go to some Diebold training. Diebold implemented a variation of SixSigma called DBiz and it was required that everyone go to it. I decided on Detroit for the first part of the training because I had already heard from Miranda and Ana that I could crash on their couch. It was a good arrangement for Diebold in that I didn't have to spend a lot of money. When I got back, I started working toward my master's degree. I know that I needed the education and I also knew that I wasn't going to get anywhere in Diebold without some sort of technical degree. So I enrolled in the University of Phoenix' Masters of Information Systems program. My ex was not happy about it because it meant I was still bettering myself. She had been abusing me mentally and emotionally for a while, though I would have never admitted it. She started the physical abuse while I was in school. Or more accurately, it was more overt. At the same time, she was talking to my best friend at the time and trying to see if Ellen would put pressure on me to be the person my ex wanted me to be. Suffice to say that is not who Ellen is and it never happened. Man, I feel like I'm jumping around in here. I guess I'm trying to get all of it in here and make it make sense. So let's skip ahead to the parts where it is new. The end game started when I was invited to DC to escort Ellen to a wedding she was performing. She thought I would enjoy the trip and it would provide a

When we last left our intrepid adventurer. Jamie spent all of her time crying to her attorney and mine would try and get me to give in to her demands. so we made arrangements for her to move in with my mom when she bought her house. at the time. Jamie would also tell female friends of mine they were welcome to sleep with me if they wanted as well. At the beginning of our relationship. I was just separating from Jamie. She'd done the drive before and since we do get on well. As much as she would carp about Ellen coming to visit. A few days before the trip. Then came Jamie driving around town looking for me. a Noreaster was blowing in and it caused me to miss my flight because getting to the airport was a challenge.good break from my studies for a weekend and since we have been good friends/best friends for a long period of time. Jamie was going to travel to San Diego. when Ellen was here. I started packing and moving everything over to my moms. all of the flights. the overnight drive wouldn't be an issue. Ellen didn't want to strand me in the airport in DC. so my ex didn't have to do anything. When we got back. Then came the "I want. my ex. Every time her car would be fixed. I had already met with an attorney and completed the paperwork and retainer so he could get started. that's me. My attorney did not take my statements about her behaviour seriously. she waved an open box cutter under my throat in front of Richard and told me she could do it and nobody could stop her.. as a "Navigator". we were both dead tired. Strangely enough. oh wait. Once there. Really. I was just messed up enough to close my eyes. When we went to the airport so I could fly back to KC. to see her brother get married. I had left a very detailed letter as to why. Well. Then we had the neighbors telling us that she was on the deck at 3 AM peering through the blinds to see . right as she was either about to drive off or tried to drive off. so she called ahead to her boyfriend and it was decided she would drive me home from DC to KC. I was glad I knew what we car sounded like. That wasn't happening. my ex doing this. She did everything she could to make life as difficult for me as possible. Jamie put on her best tears and lied about threats she had made throughout the marriage and we ended up with join custody.. we would have our typical conversations in the midst of the trip. this is where the mental and psychological abuse started. so he didn't represent my interests as best as he could. Ellen meant to stay for another day to rest and then get ready to head back to Virginia. she would cook and clean and take care of Richard and I.. It was very demeaning to be offered out that way. her boyfriend decided to let her know that he had started up a relationship with their roommate and should she want to come home. while Ellen moved Richard out of the room. right after Richard started school. Now. She was stalking me by coming by the house at 3AM looking in the windows. as far as we can best guess. The wedding and reception went off without a hitch and both of us have standing invitations to visit the Democratic Women's Club whenever we're in town. including the one I missed were delayed. I got temporary custody of Richard right after I filed. It was by now that I was planning on leaving after I finished with my masters degree. However. etc. things started happening to her car which meant she had to stay here while she gathered finances and parts to repair the car. She was the same way when Miranda came to visit. The day Jamie left. we were all waiting on my mother to finish buying a house and get moved and set up. a couple of times I actually caught her returning to the apartment after she had been by my new place looking for me. but in court. No. At the time." calls. she had to agree to their rules. Jamie was always willing to allow any of our guests to "play house" and take care of everything. something would break on the car. I was working for Diebold. The first part of the new challenge was Jamie calling me repeatedly after she returned from the airport to ask why. this wasn't fate trying to keep Ellen nearby. the airport shut down. In the end. as you knew. dealing with the first stages of the divorce from hell and the custody battle from hell. Otherwise. it was actually. As we finally thought we had the last thing fixed on Ellen's van. My new neighbors almost called the cops on her then. and moving into a new place.

Not too far different. and now. I didn't talk to them about my private life that much. light repair. The First Line manager for our area was in the process of taking on St. aligning the depositor heads. However. Apparently. Diebold splits their ATM technicians into two levels in major markets. Diebold sent her back east for some training. He wanted to keep me in Diebold. changing printer ribbons. I asked about it when he announced he was leaving. So I didn't apply. at the beginning. First Line techs do routine maintenance. I had just graduated with my master's degree and my boss. I had already allowed Jamie to control the narrative. but she had promoted up to second line and seemed to like it. Louis and Minneapolis (along side getting a technician dedicated for Springfield/Branson. However. At the same time. it felt. and triage a system. Becky spent a lot of time in our offices. her attorney was more than willing to get on board with her cries that I was leaving her for another woman and willing to try and "punish" me for it. Though. neither of them interviewed well. Becky faced a lot of challenges right out of the gate. I passed over a promotion opportunity and that also seemed to be a big mistake. There are First Line techs and ATM techs. so she got the job. from the situation I faced at ExamOne which caused me to leave in the first place. not on anything I was saying. parked at our lead's desk. After I finished it and copyrighted it. In essence. I had to walk into a "team meeting" to discuss my situation as it was going to impact the office. etc. rebooting the machine. personnel and personality issues. just as bad. The other half of that uphill battle was that her attorney's father had been a long-time friend of my attorney. I agreed. the promotion opportunity started when I was still in classes. Each group has a separate management structure. I had to walk into a room full of women and explain to them not only that I left my spouse. So he asked me to wait six months while he tried to find something in Diebold for me. but it was all around the same time frame. The office I worked in did the same thing. Diebold implemented it nationwide. As soon as I returned to work from moving. . key control for various customer sites. David stayed around about a week to help her get established and the bailed. Becky dreamed up a solution. that was completely inappropriate. Becky had the better interview. Speaking of: leaving Jamie had a large negative impact on my work environment and. but he told me he thought I would not be a good fit for the position and shut me down. She agreed and I developed it and then described it for school. to his credit. refilling receipt paper. though nobody will ever admit that on the record. the Regional Resource Manager. the call is then moved up to a second line tech who has the parts and training to affect full repairs.what was in the house. so I asked if I could take it over and play with it. Becky did as well as a technician from St. She would bring in brownies frequently. things started getting worse. in my mind. we were complaining that we weren't getting any support from our lead and I was picking up half her job and one of my colleagues the other half which was impacting our work. To give you a little history and insight. so in many ways. Becky found the keys for which she was responsible were in such disarray. but why. all of them took her side. MO) when he decided that he wanted to leave for the family business. Diebold was in danger of spending a lot of money in fines and replacement costs to get everything in order. He had already formed his opinion as to why I was leaving and was building the case based on his opinion. If it is beyond that. etc. Actually. Louis. I felt then. getting Richard into the new neighborhood school. I still hold the copyright on the source material. and taking a day away so I could just let things simmer down a bit. so she had built up a lot of good will from my colleagues. something I would have liked as well. He had been grooming Becky for the position while she was a first line tech. like clearing out paper jams. but I felt like I was in a dead-end position. which was likely my own mistake in this. Our lead had been working in first line for 10 years before becoming a navigator and she had trained Becky as a tech. because Becky spent so much time there and having Ronda do so much for her. In the middle. At work. Of course. My attorney was. so they two of them were most willing to work together to make this as amenable a divorce for each other rather than what was wanted. but it wasn't enough. but couldn't figure out how to make it work. ultimately led to my lay-off. The only thing she didn't do was come to my work and try to confront me there. knew that I was looking elsewhere.

Early on. I looked for work while divorcing full time. I understood from where he was coming. but it was a logical progression for Diebold. we were wondering where those cuts were going to come. So when the opportunity to start shadowing the Technical Process Manager came along. I took it. She didn't want me to come back. He believed I would have interviewed far better and likely would have been a much better fit for the position. but when you are faced with a manager. It's also where I started learning HTML. I know that sounds strange. because all of her "mentoring" was done in the room. Diebold announced they were going to do a nationwide 5% reduction in the workforce. telling you that you aren't a good fit. but it makes sense when you get a feel for what I was going through. after her firing. whenever she wanted and everything was ok. Especially when you're in the middle of a divorce. They were sensing the handwriting on the wall and they did not replace her position. they asked the Territory Service Managers to assume the First Line role. Since I was the first one in the office. Instead. In Kansas. Richard's toys. Jamie tried to use GRASP as a place to both force a confrontation and gain approval use that to force me into doing what she wanted. in our office. When it was learned. Diebold started implementing a lot of cost cutting measures. it would be easiest for me to find a new job. paying maintenance. For the next three months. We each kept one of the cars. We each kept our own student debts. Jamie was making my life as difficult and miserable as she could. it's just as strange to write. she wanted to punish me for leaving her. etc. (Even though we were still covering her area. I knew something was up. so she could do whatever she wanted. I actually started working from home to get in the hours and not create as many waves. We knew that we would be the most expendable because we aren't technicians and we weren't well liked amongst the techs. Jamie's first beefs were about DVD movies she wanted back. My "partner in crime" was mentoring to our lead. we were basically dispatchers/customer service agents who told them what we thought was best based on our knowledge of contracts and obligations. you listened. and claiming I left her with next to nothing in the household. one morning. Louis was angrier than a wet hornet. Obviously. One of the two is easy enough. I had to pay her 50% of those. across town. hers were hers. I was given a 3 month severance package. The official reason I was given was that because I had an advanced degree. Diebold had a yearly management meeting and the numbers weren't good. GRASP. They eventually moved the remaining portion of the lease into a cheaper appt. She also wanted me to pay her rent and utilities while she lived in the apartment we shared. We were told 3 times that our jobs were safe and Diebold had no plans to reduce our staffing. The second one. There was also the matter of a couple of retirement accounts which I liquidated or depleted to fund the divorce. He made me promise I would not hold back from any internal promotion opportunities I wanted. along with geographical concerns. and trying to get your life back on track. One of the GRASP rules is that the two parties are not allowed to confront or harass one another in the parking lot.Becky ended up being released because she could not handle all of the pressure and responsibility of the job. We were set up as having some limited authority over them and no management support when we needed to exercise that authority.) After Becky was fired. I was pulled aside and laid off. I had already informed management I was leaving and that she would be solely responsible. From August of 2007 onwards. is taken in a pair where you are both there at the same time so they can help with ironing out some of the transition issues. Banks across the country were telling them there were going to be significant problems. However. I also made the most money in the room (including the lead) so it was the biggest payout on the cut. Being laid off sucks. Realistically. but that was a small price to pay. I don't know if it made good business sense or not. that I had been told not to apply and complied. Sure enough. the Regional Service Manager from St. The difficult part came when mentoring requires that you leave your normal duties aside for a certain number of hours per week and my teammates all thought it was a way not to work. I came into the office and our lead was already there with everything pulled up and ready to go. you are required to take two courses and have them certified to the court. currently in that position. with keys and alarm codes. Jamie cornered me at my car and pinned me against it trying to . so long as I agreed not to apply to Diebold again. I know it did not help me. 2008 became the start of a hard year. when you have children in a divorce. In reality. you go to the lecture and you get attendance credit. Mitch is a good mentor and I learned a lot. there were many things to which we agreed. My credit cards were mine.

However.. at Ellen's suggestion with the Independence. he thought she had a great idea. Around this time. no matter how many times we brought these to the attention of my attorney." It was only when I was about to start crying with disappointment she realized I was actually serious. I had until five that afternoon to get everything out. It wasn't a problem. we had seen signs that Richard was experiencing several problems. I asked Ellen to marry me. He was an old school attorney who strongly believed that a child is always best suited having the mother present and active. but I hadn't actually built any sites and two. Thank you for hiring me. we were able to bifurcate the divorce from the custody because both attorneys had gotten tired enough of this and hoped this would spur Jamie and I into getting a custody agreement done.. was to close the storage unit we had as a couple and remove all of her things. In the middle of this. Jamie said she used them to ensure he took naps during the day. After the end of Kindergarten. they seemed willing to take a chance on a geek and figured I could learn as I went along. The next chapter of hell would soon dawn upon us before we really understood what was happening. Jamie wanted majority custody with me paying for everything. I would remove the baby gate and shut off the endless cartoon loop as well. so now that I'm here." My take was. I would later come to discover that whenever he was hungry and Jamie wasn't interested in feeding him." When I told my attorney about this. custody battle remained. I applied for a job. Right before I moved out. so it wasn't as quick as it looked. We had been keeping an eye on his behaviour for some time as we both knew there were wonky things during the time that Jamie and I were together. Her first salvo. With a nasty divorce behind him and a brighter future on the horizon. MO school district. we had found several bottles of adult strength NyQuil hidden in his bedroom. but we'd known each other since before I had moved to KC. the last I knew. During much of the separation and the custody battle. based on things he had said and done during Kindergarten. he was really sick and needed medicine. They were looking for a web developer and while it wasn't a perfect fit. However. And so our story continues. I wanted full custody and Jamie to have supervised visits. While I was at work. Yes. He started early on the med seeking path.. Eventually. which typically left Richard rather confused. difficult. He would also ask for medicine if his stomach hurt. she still lived. where she claimed "we could work everything out. she would tell him that if his stomach hurt from hunger pangs. Sure. However. his school counselor told Ellen and I that we should take him to see Sunflower House. Jamie routinely kept herself awake for 2 to 3 days at a time and then would crash for the better part of a day. she would use a baby gate to keep Richard in his room in front of a TV/DVD player she insisted my father and step-mother buy for him. what a way to start a new job. I'm going to have to do a lot of things to get that squared away all during the middle of the day. We had gone through 3 rounds of mediation and a lot of pressure from attorneys and we still weren't there yet. working in Independence meant I was back in the city I lived in with my first ex-wife and where. mainly because I was getting so tired of all the pressure to settle that I wanted done. our intrepid hero (Hey! Wait! That's me!) had been fast approaching a new wedding. The divorce was done in July and we ended up getting married in October. I know that it was quick.. The only two concerns I had were that I had never done web development before. That was the hardest pill to swallow. I felt like I was stuck with him because I had put so much time and money into him. after she tried to push to learn everything she could about what I was now doing. I didn't care if it had toys on the floor. I had written some HTML pages for Mitch when I was training as the TPM. he didn't seem interested in pursuing them. .. if it was in his room and not spilling out into the rest of the house. it just felt a little awkward. She called me at two in the afternoon and said that I needed to clear out the stuff she wouldn't allow me to access before then. We actually came close to a deal. I was so nervous when I asked her that she thought I was joking and told me she would "get back to me on it. When we finished our last episode. (Over my strenuous objections) She would take any toy away if Richard learned it could make noise or if she determined it left his room "too messy. only a looming..force me to agree to meet her alone for dinner. I'm in the middle of a divorce and custody battle and it's been fairly nasty as we've gone along.

Once. So. I called the police and started that process. Jamie wanted to leave and Richard was having fun playing. Then I called my attorney. who originally wanted to have tested and put on medication for ADHD. during the shared custody. The officer came out that evening and took a report. the therapist testified on our behalf and the judge stated there was more than enough evidence to award me physical custody and . When we returned. then he emerged. Then after about half an hour.In fact. in the store. after he finished Kindergarten. Jamie put on her best face for court. She was mortified and we decided that we needed to get him to another therapist regardless of Jamie's cooperation. my soon-to-be bride had to travel back east to address some personal matters with her ex-husband. Thankfully. This time. (i. the school counselor advised Ellen that we might want to look at taking him to Sunflower House. all children attempt to put their hands under women's clothing. The hearing was scheduled for the next day. This was on a Wednesday.e. At the same time. we started noticing that Richard would occasionally try to put his hands under my mother's clothes. She told me several times she wasn't ready for him to grow up and wanted him to stay small and be her baby forever. writing the ceremony. My mother would comment on it. before I digress. the same day Ellen was coming back from Virginia. Finally. Richard sat outside the door wailing and crying like he'd been physically beaten. He tried it once with Ellen and she put an end to it. In fact. etc. Well. people thought she was Richard's mother because neighbours had never seen Jamie with him and when I would go out and about on weekends with him.) I took Richard to see the new therapist and she headed back east to finish that business. etc. At the same time she treated him like a partner." I got very upset and lit into Jamie verbally about the emotional abuse of Richard. she also would not let him grow up. Friday. We weren't aware. you broke Mommy's heart. We were already aware that when Jamie came to visit him in class (she started doing this after she learned from the school that Ellen was volunteering in the classroom) that Richard would go out of control and would wet himself a lot. When the last incident with my mother happened while we were shopping for the wedding. In fact. the teacher had to ask her not to take him into the restroom any more because it was disrupting the whole class. she had locked herself inside our bedroom and wouldn't let anyone in. going over it with the minister. However. After about 10 to 15 minutes. we had also started to see a lot of behaviours that indicated Jamie was trying to elevate Richard to feel like he was more her partner than her child. but Jamie. he tried to reach under her clothes in public. when I was moving out. We didn't think it would be a big deal on either end. nobody seemed to notice. Jamie was apparently leaving the apartment during the day and leaving him behind. walked up to me and said "Daddy. but just tried to explain it away as no big deal. before I had left. gave him the information and told him I needed an emergency order. She refused to assist in potty training until right before he started Kindergarten and then pressured him to potty train in less than a week. However. getting the license. with a wedding in mind and trying to finalize all of those plans. but that is a place which works with sexually abused kids. When we got there. she let him in for a little bit. suggesting that I put him up to it. Jamie was due to pick him up from school the next day and I now found out that if I couldn't ensure that she would not get him from school then. I discovered an open box of condoms in her drawers. after we all went to the park. She didn't say anything further until after she left the district. I was floored! I called Ellen in a panic and left her a voice mail. he would be put into foster care. was now saying that he was "fine" and "didn't need therapy because there's nothing wrong with him. We contacted Sunflower House and got a recommendation to a therapist in Olathe and scheduled an appointment. Neighbours confirmed she spent a lot of time with the police officer who lived above us. She obviously denied Richard's claims." Right. when Ellen would take him out of the house and to the park after she was stranded in Olathe. We did try to take Richard to counseling once during this time. we switched places and she started talking to Richard. she walked out and told me that I needed to file a police report and she would be filing an SRS report as Richard had reported that his mother was inappropriately touching him. she had Richard wait in the common area and I went back to her office to discuss my concerns and why I was bringing him to therapy. so Jamie left and walked home in a temper tantrum. The next morning my attorney started the process and finally got the emergency order with about half an hour to spare. She would take him into the restroom and he would start crying out and yelling while they were in there.

(She stood through most of the hearing because her "back hurt" and she got weepy on command. That isn't the case any longer. Richard was all over the board in the interviews. I reasonably believed that she might try it again. her attorney used them A LOT! My attorney owned the building in which they had their offices. After the wedding. we went back to the school. The first was her mother coming to town to visit. the caseworker was late and Jamie expected me to leave her alone with Richard until the caseworker arrived. We both had to meet with them and go over the rules. When she arrived. They specialize in interviewing and working with kids who have experienced sexual abuse. Jamie was not interested in following the rules they laid out. He reported that she told him he'd gotten her in trouble and she could be arrested for what he told people. During some visits.) she was out the door and headed to school before I could get the paperwork to the school to explain the ruling and give them what they needed. Case in point. the caseworker who couldn't find a courthouse. then finally to Jamie's home. told me I was correct in staying. We were given an option for the pick up and drop offs so I asked for the option where we had a five minute buffer between us so we would not have to meet each other. In the cafeteria. she crashed another child's birthday party just so Richard could play and she could hit on the parent of the birthday child. The caseworker assigned was a law student who was young. Her mother wanted unsupervised time with Richard and wanted to be the supervisor for Jamie while she was in town. we all think. so the criminal case was dropped out of lack of evidence. Others. she said that Richard's half-sister missed her very badly and she needed to get home to the sister. From the very start. Another time. but they would do nothing about it. Christmas Day was a tipping point for everything. I objected to the latter saying that the court had ordered professional supervision and Jamie's mother was not a professional in that arena. Around 2:30. We also found out that the reason the old counselor had suggested Sunflower House was that Richard reported to her. The other thing that happened was Jamie filed an SRS complaint against Ellen saying that Ellen had spanked him too hard and too much. The judge. Other visits. We were investigated and . naive. but their notes indicated they were uncomfortable with what they found. Jamie would deliberately stay present or in the area to try and speak with me. SRS also issued a finding of unsubstantiated. was remembering a day when we had all the teachers with us in the lunch room. then they moved them to community locations. The only time that things would even seem to work correctly was in Jamie's home when Shelby would meet me at the car and walk Richard back to the car when it was time to leave. Jamie was to have Richard for most of the day. We stayed this way for a couple of months before we had two things happen back to back. her mother called and said there had been an emergency and she had to drop Richard off immediately. and seemed more interested in trying to flirt with me than pay attention to things. even in a very tense position. I objected to the first on the grounds that Jamie had gone throughout our marriage telling me that her mother effectively kidnapped Richard's half-sister. there was nothing they could do about it. They then said that there could be no visits there because they had a district policy not to be in the middle of custody disputes. The first visits were in their offices. the school only kept 3 adults watching 4 classrooms of kids at a time. she would hardly interact with Richard. to wait for her. saying that because it happened around the exchanges. After everything was in print. Jamie was able to spirit Richard away from the staff and talk to him alone. My attorney just pushed me into accepting everything. but nothing would ever be done. but she got to call him every day and she could go have lunch with him at school. One visit in November. Jamie's mother did have one supervised visit and one unsupervised visit. but she was not allowed to report it or say anything to us about it because of the school's non-involvement policy.place Jamie on supervised visits. Shelby. even when the caseworker would tell her she needed to leave. Jamie also gave them fits when I wasn't present. According to my attorney's legal assistant. (Richard was 6 and his half-sister 16 at the time) Richard started acting out and several months later told Kay that his mother molested him in her bathroom and that his grandmother discovered it and got really upset. leaving Shelby to play with him. returning him by 6. Jamie's mother came to collect Richard at 9 in the morning. Jamie chose a group here in the area called Layne Project to handle the supervised visitations. It's always wonderful when mandatory reporters start deciding when they don't want to get involved. she had to be told not to wrestle with him on top of her in a public place and then argued with the caseworker. she would behave inappropriately and then would be reminded to stay within boundaries. If Jamie's mother could do that. we had to arrange for forensic interviews with Sunflower House. As soon as court was dismissed and Jamie's performance art piece came to a close.

we heard her outside our bedroom one evening when we had been intimate and she told us we had no reasonable expectation of privacy in living there. We had moved out of my mother's townhouse because we were seeing a lot of concerning behaviours out of my mother. all I could do was take the matter to family court and my attorney was not interested in pursuing that. Then there were safety issues. (We both underwent psychological testing at her insistence after I had asked my attorney for the same a year or more earlier. The judge gave her every other Christmas. saying that I should have used those funds to keep her in an apartment. Later he would cancel the loan as a gift. she also stated in her report that the relationship between Richard and Jamie was highly disturbing and she recommended supervised visits indefinitely. This caseworker also met with Jamie.) get a job. then I was pulled aside and the deal was offered. she immediately started scheduling the visit for Christmas even though she had not even attempted to comply with the judge's orders. My dad loaned us the money and we bought the house. Jamie started missing visits. I did not agree. my attorney apologized to me on the way back to his office.) as Jamie's mother had denied that anything happened and Richard was still uncooperative with Sunflower House. Why I still don't know. but allowed her mother to be the supervisor. she had once taken Richard out of state to Iowa without anyone knowing until Richard talked about playing with his cousins and sister. We deferred the support for 6 months to let her find and get a job. and Spring Break as holidays. and the caseworker served as a supervisor for a visit. When this was done. staying instead in motels. Then the visits changed to public places again. At the same time. In fact. and in the end. My mother went into full histrionics when we told her we had bought a house. By that time. Jamie was ordered to get counseling. She could never explain what was so funny. but Richard could tell us his feelings were hurt. We also know that Jamie had driven by the house on several occasions after we moved in. She seemed to delight any time there was any tension or friction between Ellen and I. my attorney had told me to move and then got in trouble with the court for it. after Jamie had been so adamant about having them in her home.) When the hearing date came. and pay child support. he came to realize that I had been understating the problems the entire time. there started to be changes. she just wanted to be in on the selection process. We called the police. We finally found a place in Western Independence on three-tenths of an acre (a full lot) which was in foreclosure for $22000. During shared custody. her attorney pulled mine aside. She had invited herself along on our family vacation to North Carolina even after we asked her not to go. She actually fought in court to prevent me moving. provided she was supervised. She had one last visit with Richard before heading west. Thanksgiving. He admitted when he first got the case.Richard was interviewed by a SRS caseworker. We thought that Jamie might be preparing to take off. However. but in the spring and summer of 2009. Later. Neither of which was going to happen. it wasn't . she would tell us that she liked the house. so she was out of money and was being evicted from her home. she ceded physical custody and dropped her objection to the move. Finally. Jamie had stopped working and her workman's comp claim was denied. When it finally went before the judge. My mother had contracted Hep B and stopped cleaning up after herself when she had been bleeding. but she wanted unsupervised visits. Her final report stated that none of the complaints were substantiated (we had filed another one after Richard reported the second round of abuse. Then she started walking in on my son in the bathroom or in his bedroom when he was changing and would laugh. If she did not meet these. (I didn't he did. At first it was little things. (She was also prone to move about the house with little to no clothing and didn't see anything wrong with that. and it was shared custody at the time. The answer became clear. The hearing was delayed and delayed until October. passive-aggressive nonsense which seemed directed at my wife.) We looked quietly because we understood that if my mother learned of it. The visits continued through the winter. citing a lack of funds to pay Layne Project. she could not have visits. Neighbors reported her van driving by several times after we moved. she would likely either go into high dramatics or she would insist that she move in with us. She was going to cede physical custody to me because she was going to move back to Washington. but because she told them she was on her way back. her attorney wrote up the judge’s orders and left a ton of stuff the judge said out. She went from us all paying half of the bills to telling us we had to pay two thirds of the mortgage and all of the food bills. he believed I was exaggerating how bad things with Jamie were. who was pushing to end supervised visits. then Jamie high-tailed it back to Olathe. (Colour me surprised) Even with that. It all seemed really odd. we bought a house in Independence. closer to my work. After Jamie got settled in Washington.

I was laid off because my partner in the web department was a graphic artist and videographer and they felt his skills were more important than my back-end skills since we were now using WordPress for the district site. she averages only one call a week for whatever reason. At that time. Then again. she's also stopped making any noise about Richard ever coming out there. she gets a wild hair going and starts to say she's going to call every day until he talks to her for a length of time she determines is long enough. State budgets for education were being cut to the quick. We didn't learn about it until the spring parent/teacher conferences. We have filed the paperwork to move the custody out of Kansas and into Missouri. he apologized and said he never thought that review would come back to haunt me. they were faced with a dilemma and this solved it. but she talks to me in text as much or more than she talks to him on the phone. that meant that we had to start tightening out belts. these days. Occasionally. Remember that tax revenues were starting to really suffer because of both tax breaks for various groups and the recession further eroding the tax base. it's almost like that part of his family has abandoned any hope of interacting with him. Richard has not seen her since and Jamie has made no attempts at demonstrating that she is going to comply with the judge's directives. her mother was brandishing a new cane which was 1/2 a pool cue with a cue ball lacquered to the end. In June. . etc. we realized that Jamie doesn't have to prove things to the court. while her mother had been asleep on the couch. Richard wouldn't talk about the visit at all. For the district I worked for. a big row where Jamie's mother said she wouldn't supervise Jamie any longer. ask how they both are. proclaiming that she had the right to call daily and she was going to do so. For a while. In many ways. which wasn't my idea of fun considering the abuse I suffered.until a few days before he was set to fly that she confirmed through her attorney that she had found a therapist who would say she was a patient. I had to fly Richard out there. according to Richard. she was upset and there was. His therapist. We all know she's not about to do that. so we're expecting that this is going to end things on her end. We took this to the therapist and Richard disclosed that his mother had molested him again in Washington. so I wondered how they accomplished that one. which isn't normally allowed. She did this for a long period of time until Richard just stopped wanting to talk and started trying to ignore her. a few weeks later. I think that Ellen will apply to formally adopt him and then we can just remove Jamie from the picture permanently. he started trying to accelerate things with his teacher and reach under her skirt. However. after buying a new facility for the Central Office and related services. when my direct boss was taking me over to the district offices to finish my paperwork and such. When I couldn't master a programming language I'd never used before. After I was laid off. The calls typically last about 20 seconds. His half-sister now calls weekly. Her mother used to call Richard occasionally. so she suddenly got an epiphany from her therapist to cut the calls to twice a week. I flew to Houston to visit my sister for the holiday. suggested that she only call twice a week to give them more things to talk about. Actually. Jamie and her mother met me at the gate. which lends more credence to what Richard claimed back in 2009. We did go back a couple of years ago and filed a Nunc Pro Tunc to revise the final orders to reflect what the judge did say before he retired. Especially when Jamie's mother was so glad to see us. we're also noticing that although her mother is not communicating with Richard. In that. but she's given up on that as well. After we got over that hump in the spring of 2010. a program I was working on never came to fruition and we made it work another way which didn't require the programming skills. I had received a scathing job review earlier in the year because I was doing what I was asked in learning more about Photoshop and graphic design and because of that. the recession of '08 was still in full bloom if you worked for any state agency. and then he's done. Jamie insisted on nightly phone calls for the days she did not see him. He admitted that I was doing exactly what I was asked to do. We were more than a bit mortified. she has to prove them to me. Jamie's mother flew Richard back and we met him at the airport. but that they expected my partner to learn more about programming along the way and when that didn't happen it looked to create an imbalance. so we've been gathering information and evidence to try to go to court and have the calls stopped and eventually sever her parental rights. outside of weekly phone calls for the foreseeable future. Since then. Richard started cutting down the calls to only a few seconds. was to start removing people in Technology. However. It can be rather intimidating. When her mother awakened and realized that Jamie was alone with Richard in a bedroom. However. Jamie resisted. When we received physical custody. He was a little withdrawn so we started to expect something was up. One place the district believed it could save money. who had been in favour of the calls at the outset. After they took Richard. long enough to exchange greetings.

Finally. Of course. They were thinking Computer Assisted Dispatching which is completely different. The first problem we noted was we were speaking different languages. but I applied for it anyway and got an interview. and general systems administration. now comes the really tough ones love. now we move into the information about where Richard is now and where we think this is going to go down the road. It was a bit odd. found a job that made no sense and suggested I apply for it. during the layoff. Essentially. They are good people and they take decent care of us. . this one is dense enough. the jobs were just not there at the time. However. as I was in the middle of the state funded training classes. intranet web development. they were looking for someone to do some programming.NET. The next installment will focus more on that and what we've encountered with him along the way since the move. A local Sheriff's Office was looking for a CAD administrator who had experience with ASP. So that catches up most of the last 5 years for me. of going to school and getting training through the state which helped me get better with general programming. The only CAD with which I was familiar was Computer Assisted Drafting/Drawing which made little sense for a law enforcement agency.I took advantage. my wife. I went through a very long and intensive background check and three interviews to get the job. At over 4500 words. I've thoroughly enjoyed this job and the environment in which I am working.

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