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Humans And Loneliness Humans weren't made to be alone. God made it clear early in His dealings with His newly created friends. "It is not good for man to be alone," He said, "I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18. Oh, how wonderful that would be for a person who is lonely. To have God make a person suitable for them. "The question is, "What do I do now in my particular lonely situation?" How do I cope with being alone, and with the fear of isolation and abandonment slowly eating at my self esteem and my self confidence. Yet, it is important to memorize a few important aspects with regard to being alone that slips easily from one's mind. Although we weren't made to be alone, and being alone really becomes a severe trial for us, there is a measure of fulfillment we can enjoy while we wait on God to bring us to the mate we long for, or to the group of friends that will love and support us. Yes, remember that all humans, although they were made to live with, and move through life with other humans, there is still a God-shaped vacuum in each person. Unless this vacuum is filled by the intimate presence of God, that person is not completely content, even though he or she is in a marriage or relationship, a loving family, or has a large social network around them. (Many people think that they will find happiness when they are married. The truth is, without God filling that deep, inner void, people never find the level of happiness they desire),.
It isn't too difficult to pick up. Notice how people take each other for granted, how couples fight, or how there is gossip and back biting within a large social group. Having people in and around your life is not the ultimate answer to happiness. Having people in and around your life is a gift that God gives to compliment the happiness that should come from Him first. Ultimate and perfect happiness can only come from knowing God intimately. Once a person knows God intimately, and they have that inner contentment, composure and confidence, then they are in the ideal position to enjoy the gifts that God gives in the form of families, relationships, marriage, and friendships with people around them. All People are Lonely in Some Way In speaking to many people who are married, or in supportive families, they are still lonely in many regards. Many people have deep inner conflicts which they cannot share with just anyone, not even their marriage partner, their parents, or their closest friends. There are hurts from the past, personal addictions or weaknesses, or deep inner conflicts, that a person just cannot trust anyone with. These "protected" or "sheltered" issues often isolate an individual and makes them feel alone as they grapple with it, without anyone else involved. That is why it is so important for a person who is living by themselves, not to allow Satan to use their loneliness as something negative . . . not to allow Satan to use the people that are surrounded by other people, as something to be envied.
Each person has a loneliness that only God can fill, each person has unspoken secrets that can only be revealed to God, and each person has a missing component in their happiness that can only be experienced as they follow God. People who are alone need to be conscious of the fact that when they take the step toward filling up this first and foremost need, experienced by all humans, the lonely and those
who aren't lonely, they will be blessed with a measure of happiness that not many people find. Here are practical ways to deal with loneliness, find this measure of happiness, and enjoy an excellent quality of life: 1. Put God First For Happiness When God created man, He gave him special, inherent tendencies that would bring him ultimate happiness. Although God gave man the noble ability of reason, freedom of choice, and the ability to process thoughts and feel emotions, He still made man with His own image and His basic makeup--to give and receive love with other humans, and with his Caring Creator. Man is not happy alone, man is not happy when he is cut off from contact with people around him, and man is not happy when he is not in contact with the Generous God that made Him. But, God made the bonding with Himself the strongest force within man. Nothing can satisfy man the way the bond with God can. People in the world, who don't know God, go on a constant search to find happiness, without really finding a happiness that is complete, where they can rest and remain for the rest of their lives. Some people pour their energies into their work, others live for their families, others pursue sporting endeavors, while others engage in excessive drinking, drugs and socializing.
All these people keep searching indefinitely, constantly striving for something else, but not finding the level of happiness they want. In times gone by, God often drew men into isolation in order to get closer to Him. He led Moses into the wilderness for 40 years to get him ready to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt. He allowed Joseph's brothers to sell him into slavery in a distant, foreign land for many years, and then be in prison for 3 or more years after that. David tended sheep all alone in the pastures, and later went into hiding from Saul for many years. John the Baptist preached from the wilderness where he lived, and Jesus himself worked alone for many years, and then had to spend 40 days alone in the wilderness before he started his ministry. After Paul's dramatic conversion, he spent time alone in the desert of Arabia before he actively started his ministry. John was banished to the isle of Patmos, where all alone, he was given the book of Revelation. Being in a situation of isolation and being alone is not to be seen in a negative light. The need that God created inside of each person to be in an intimate relationship with his or her Creator, should be fulfilled first. When this need is met, the person who is alone is at the best point to draw other people towards themselves, to understand the needs of others, and to be content even if they only have a relationship with God alone. God places reminders everywhere of His Supreme Creatorship. His signature is everywhere as a ceaseless reminder that by His Word He can speak miracles and marvelous wonders into existence.
As was mentioned in the article on being "Alone or Lonely," so many people enter relationships or marriage in order to find happiness. They put so much pressure on that other person to make them happy, that they literally suck the energy and vitality from the other person--this is because they don't have the primary or fundamental happiness first before they enter any type of relationship. This happiness, as we said above, comes only from an intimate relationship with God. So, when a person is forced by circumstances out of their control, into being alone, it would be helpful to take the first crucial step that all people need to take--to build an intimate, daily, committed relationship with God. Letting go of the automatic panic that follows these new circumstances of being alone, and allowing God's still small voice to speak, to soothe, and to strengthen until there is a new tenacity and fervor to live a happy life irrespective of our
circumstances. 2. Put Others Next For Happiness When a person looks at themselves, at their circumstances, and at their possible future, they only get discouraged. Most people will compare themselves with other people that are more successful than they are and that have a life filled with supportive friends and family. This "comparing" is a sure recipe for despair and discouragement. Once again, Satan will flash thoughts of hopelessness into a person's mind and slowly chip away at their will to live and carry on. He shows them how little they have, how pathetic their situation is, and how worthless they are in offering other people anything good in a relationship or marriage. These thoughts can be dispelled in two powerful ways. Firstly, by practically implementing 2 Corinthians 10:5 by praying this prayer to the Holy Spirit. "Holy Spirit, take these negative thoughts captive, and make them obedient to Christ, through the precious blood of His crucifixion."
The second very powerful way to dispel self pity by focusing too much on self, is to sit up and take note of the other people living in the world. The world is full of lonely people. Satan attacks a person who lives alone to think that they are the only one going through this agony. When a person who is alone steps out beyond their immediate small isolated world and looks a little further, they will encounter countless other people, more lonely than they are. Yes, somehow circumstances causing loneliness and isolation have changed the lives of many many people out there. What happens when one person who is alone, finds another person who is alone, and they become friends? The answer is, both people aren't lonely anymore. So, together with becoming intimate friends with God, the other practical way out of loneliness is to consciously go and find other lonely people. Retirement homes, hospitals, homes for the handicapped, prisons, orphanages, and youth detention facilities are all filled with hurting, lonely people. Then there are the singles web sites, and countless other people who live and work around people everyday, that are desperately lonely. The therapy found in helping someone else out of their desperate situation is remarkable. A person who is alone, who takes on this mission in their lives, will not be lonely anymore. By making the decision to get out and help others, the person who is alone will suddenly have left their life of loneliness behind forever. 3. Become "Creator Aware" Whoever you are, and wherever you find yourself today, are you currently convinced and convicted constantly, as to the capability of the Creator to control your life? Every single aspect of your life? Or have you been tricked and tripped up by unseen powers to forget the Creator and lead a life independent of Him? Are you wrestling to be a better person, trying to reach the standard that people around you or the church expects of you? Are you crushed by circumstances in your personal life, facing either loneliness, a failing relationship, a rebellious child, a looming financial catastrophe, a recent death, or a fatal illness? Or are you free of any of these trials, but you have no desire to meet with God or get to know Him? Whatever your circumstances might be, you need to come face to face with the reality of a Creator God that spoke everything around you in this world and in the universe into existence. Your life will change when you call on the Creator God saying, “Lord, just say the word!” “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come . . .” Eccleciates 12:1. Yes, remembering your Creator before the days of trouble come will be a miraculous source of strength, security and stability. What is secure in this life? Nothing really. (Nothing is secure in life . . . just the knowledge that God is the all Powerful Creator and Controller of the universe).
Businesses can close, marriages can breakup, people can die, whole lives with possessions and dwellings can disappear in earthquakes or severe storms. The only hope man has is that the One who created him is true to His Word to recreate and renew his life and happiness at the beginning of each day in the present, and recreate and renew this lost world in the future. In order to experience the miracle of the Creator’s commitment to daily recreation and renewal, (see 2 Corinthians 4:16), learn how to get to know God by building your life around spending time alone with Him in prayer, meditation, and study of the same powerful Word that spoke the universe and this earth into existence. The Natural Reward Another trait of God's character that God created into the fibre of man, is to enjoy giving. God is the Great Generous Giver. He gives and gives to those who love Him and those who ignore Him alike. He gives because it pleases Him to do so. The rich reward of giving that God gets, He also passed on to the humans He created. "The giver is more blessed than the receiver," is a beautiful reality that is present whenever people go out of their way for others. So, as a person who is alone through the circumstances that has befallen him or her, reaches out to the others that have become victims of similar circumstances, the person reaching out is lavished with a rich reward of deep, inner fulfillment and satisfaction. Who can refuse it? Then as the person living alone now moves into the lives of others, so by word of mouth, this unselfish, caring person becomes a friend to many people. No one can resist the committed, caring, and concerned efforts of a genuine hand of love, reaching out in true friendship.
People know people, friends have family, families know other families who have other friends . . . and before long, God can work through this network of love, to bring the ideal mate for someone. God's hands are tied by a person who sits sulking in solitude, bound and bewildered by hopelessness and self pity. God works miracles in the lives of those who, putting their own desires and needs aside, build their lives around getting to know Him, and then working for the happiness of those people around them.
(God has the name of each person's perfect partner already picked out . . . it's just up to each person to persist in their trust and daily commitment to becoming one and staying one with God). For more inspiring articles go to: www.relevantlifesolutions.org
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