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An Alternative to Cancer
By Jill Ayn Schneider
Disclaimer: Jill Ayn is not a doctor and does not diagnose, prescribe for or treat any disease, nor dispense medical advice. The information you obtain from this book is provided for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a medical professional. Consult an appropriate health professional for advice relating to a medical problem or condition.
I would like to deeply thank my mother, Marion Schlesinger, for passing on great genes, and enough resolve for an army of Jewish mothers; my dad, Irving for his affection, nice singing voice, and spontaneous humor; Benolia (Bea) Thompson, for her witty giggle even throughout her long and painful suffering; my brother Steve, for his devil’s advocate questionings; my sister-in-law, Vera, for constant support in the most tender German and English; my dear son, Aaron, who is the living proof of my taking responsibility for my own body; and most gratefully, my Teacher – Prem Rawat (also know as Maharaji), for giving me a profound method of practical self-awareness, which has enabled me to fine tune my heart with velvet strings of pure love.
Table of Contents Part I Introduction Chapter One: Chapter Two: Chapter Three: Chapter Four: Chapter Five: Chapter Six: Chapter Seven: Chapter Eight: Chapter Nine: Conclusion: The Groundwork Journey to the East The Diagnosis South American Journey Miracle Child Making Stuff Up Being Grateful for Cancer Keeping Our Hysteria Juice Fasting and Natural Foods Getting Clear
Songs for Healing
Take all the Fear Meant To Be Every Game in the Book Hangin’ On To Pure Love Get Simple Key to My Heart Romance of Life Guadalupe River White Mountain For The Love Inside Make Your Work Your Play The People Shall Continue
Bibliography : Books, Websites, Resources
with the essential theme or focus on a creative reaction to a very serious medical diagnosis. It felt just like the kiss of death and many of you who are reading this book will know what I mean. I was primed by the philosophical culture of the day to search for that instinctive possibility of innate joy and enthusiasm for life. As a child of the 1960’s. before anything invasive and drastic?” By his expression. came this: “Respectfully. given and partaken.” Without even giving me an opportunity to take my next breath and say anything.” 4 . he looked up and said. he then said. I’ve traversed the possibility. don’t you think that perhaps I could try some natural healing on myself first. In February 1975. I’ve come to the conclusion that life itself can be one incredible romance. but with the harshness that followed. anxiously waiting for him to enter. Miraculously. not just with the news. Shocked and angry. This is a memoir of my life thus far. Fear trampled within my mind and my body. “My nurse will be in touch with you to set up the hospital visit. and many places and people in between. I sat in his office across from an imposing mahogany desk. true and unadulterated romance exists with or without a partner or even a fantasy to entice my imagination. for me. “Jill. Two Class V Pap tests revealed the same results – conclusive for malignancy. we have confirmed from these two tests that you definitely have malignant cervical cancer. I remember with great clarity that eventful day I was called in to the doctor’s office to discuss two duplicate test results. but because.Part I: Introduction To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. you would have thought that I had held up a gun or a knife to his throat. Oscar Wilde Throughout my experiences of this life. I didn’t have the wind to react in any way. “We need to get you into the hospital immediately to explore how advanced this cancer is. From the suburbs of New York City to the Himalayan Mountains. ____. this delicious connection with an infinite permanence has enabled me to be appreciative for all that I have been shown.” I flashed back to the time I was sitting in the principal’s office in junior high school being reprimanded for talking back to my math teacher on account of a bad grade. I was diagnosed with malignant cervical cancer. saying. Dr. He had just blown it away. Looking down at my folder as he entered the office. whether of great pain or tremendous joy. he left the room quickly. Not just because I’ve been married twice and fallen in love many more times than that. at the age of 29. Fortunately.
I thought about what the day had brought … scary thoughts for sure. going over and over the fallout of that early morning appointment. I looked up at an unusually clear and shimmering sky. Inexplicably. this dilemma was attempting to put a damper on the flame. When it was our turn to perform. but I also felt a formidable realization spurning from inside of me. The songs seemed to break the spell of confusion. Courage would be the key element to take me across the bridge of this fear into a philosophical and spiritual transformation. I still trust that the Creator will never give me challenges which I can’t handle. Just when I thought that my rehearsals had brought me to a professional level. I prayed not just for myself but for peace and love to manifest in this world. but I did realize early on that fear would serve no purpose. I sensed that my life was not my own. We drove in silence to the studio. Bob kept looking at me to make sure I was okay. I sensed an intense connection with all that was around me. but today I found out that I have cancer. Thirty-one years later. So far. I felt true support in a simple hug when my friend Bob dropped me off at my home. I’m okay.I maintain ed a stoic expression for the rest of that day. “Bob. Standing in the dark tiny room waiting our turn. my prayers had never been so selfless during that endless wait. Surprisingly. I walked to the car. My musical partner. Bob. I knew very little about natural healing at that time. a warm and peaceful current entered the airtight studio. knowing that I would be facing some interesting decisions over the next few days and weeks. the fear of illness and of death. In my meditation I knew what it 5 . How could I not? But it was coupled with an inner connection that would gently guide me through this remarkable time. I had this uncanny feeling that if I could live with more inner understanding and less fear I could beat the odds and heal myself. Amazingly. that has been the case. That evening I was scheduled to sing and play guitar at a local Miami radio station. Breathing a deep sigh of relief. I played and sang my universal peace songs better than ever. I felt the fear. then I’m grateful. If it takes something that intense to face those fears. picked me up that night. enabling me to set the stage that would allow me to overcome my fear of illness and of death! The old adage the show must go on manifested that evening. certainly not expecting to hear this. Should I think otherwise now? Leaving the downtown Miami studio that crisp February evening. mainly helping to remove the paralyzing fear that might ruin this sweet musical opportunity. that night I slept well.” The look on his face conveyed genuine concern.
Cousins recounted his 1976 New England Journal of Medicine article describing a self-healing experience alleged to have happened in 1964. In time. then you are at the beginning of making the necessary changes to heal yourself. or that his fortunate recovery was any more than a normal resolution of his symptoms over time. unwilling to accept anything that didn’t make complete common sense to me. a former editor of The Saturday Review. If I can inspire you to question. But. and so. arranged for showings of laugh-provoking films. Through this ordeal of facing malignant cancer has unfolded a rare life which I have celebrated in this book and CD of music . Norman Cousins. and that he was given a tentative diagnosis of ankylosing spondylitis. Cousins decided. Cousins said that he was experiencing stiffness in his limbs and nodules on his neck and hands. It brought out my fiercest warrior. Cousins’ account gave no evidence of a confirmed diagnosis. with the cooperation of his doctor.000 letters from doctors praising his decision to pursue self-treatment and supporting his mind-over-matter healing ideas. to take matters into his own hands. scrape. whether you live or whether you die. revitalized a popular belief in the power of the mind on the body in his book Anatomy of an Illness (Norton. and read humorous books. Cousins checked out of the hospital and into a hotel. A cancer diagnosis can bring out the best or the worst in us. I also know very profoundly that no matter how much time we get to have in these human bodies. discontinued his medications except for intravenous injections of vitamin C. After suffering adverse reactions to most of the drugs he was given. purifying the blood and then 6 . I just knew that it wasn’t my time. The mind can be a powerful ally when it is used for healing. we can be grateful. I feel for all of you. cut or remove anything in my body. Recalling various accounts he had read about the power of positive emotions. he reported receiving some 3. Upon returning from a trip to the Soviet Union. In my opinion it didn’t make sense to freeze. a degenerative disease of the connective tissue. 1979). and the value of vitamin C. Anyone who is facing the issue of serious disease is in a precarious position.Romanci ng Life: An Alternative to Cancer. I also felt that I was meant to live to make this life better for me and for others. Nevertheless. I just knew that I needed to strengthen my body by detoxing. he experienced a gradual withdrawal of symptoms and eventually regained most of his lost freedom of movement.felt like to leave this world behind. passionate and unwilling to just follow certain protocols without questioning . I wasn’t afraid of that. at least to have the confidence to do that much.
Throughout my life. organizations and websites dedicated to guiding you to holistic wellness. I wasn’t sure what caused the cancer. then perhaps I could transform the situation and just change this diagnosis. two and a half years after the cancer diagnosis will most definitely inspire you. major influences in my life and some encouraging passages about healing this cancer in some exotic locations where I have traveled. I’ve observed that even if modern medicine’s protocol is to cut something from a person. your family and friends. live peacefully in nature. This book also offers you a bibliography with resources of books. I guess I was and still am. but if I could figure that out and make the necessary alternations in my life. since the cause of the disease never gets addressed. the disease could easily reappear later somewhere else. I just put myself in a cautious first gear. In this memoir I am sharing some basics about my background. although we get so wrapped up in this world that we forget that childlike simplicity that lies within us. The birth of my son. giving the mind. my music has been with me to support and remind me of who I am and why I am here on this planet. eat simple foods and rest. you learn how to act quickly. In this medical non-emergency situation.building my body/mind with gentle loving energy. I was open to understanding the cause of the disease and willing to make whatever changes necessary to alter this diagnosis. encouragement and resources for your research and study will bring you closer to accepting the balance and harmony that are the keys to health: harmony with yourself. reflect. and then shifted into higher gears when the engine was warmed up. along with the every present conscious choice to go within and continue to explore the unlimited resources of living my dreams in full color. All of us have the creative spark within us. I must admit that I had already lived an alternative life. body and spirit a proper chance to correct the imbalance that caused the disease in the first place. Teaching kindergarten for a few years in my early career set the stage for being quick thinking a practical. quite different from most women from my background and age. My music is probably my most tender accomplishment. I am confident that these words of inspiration. your community and this Earth. creatively and humorously throughout the day. When you have the responsibility of twenty-five 5 year olds. Some say I was courageous. Without any real formal 7 . My initial response to having cancer was to step back.
I have transferred my ability to listen adeptly to others of many different styles and personalities and then. no knowledge of theory or notes. 8 .training. to create from that a few sweet melodies and lyrics which express my romance for life.
somehow transforming my way of seeing and being in this world. and even to have some visits when I returned to New York. from age 2 to 12. When Bea laughed. her whole body shook. I found out that she was also part Cherokee and had a German-Jewish grandfather. where. is hearing Benolia (Bea) Thompson. not looking for marriage. music has been a major source of strength and inspiration for as far back as I can remember. finding out that she loved working for my family. They were the most popular of the Western singers and were made more so by their movies and TV shows. Anne. but rather an opportunity to do what came naturally to her – give of herself. Mom. who worked for the Stern family who lived across the street. I vaguely remember the pungent combined scents of chewing tobacco and coconut butter on her velvety smooth skin as we cuddled together in her bedroom next to mine. She was independent. games. I felt very secure to be around these two earthy women. Bea had just arrived from North Carolina. I was always receiving the latest dolls. Her sister.Chapter One: The Groundwork Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness. that we spent together imprinted my life with a succulent infusion of unconditional love. She has always been very clear about exactly how she wanted to live. my African American live-in housekeeper. humming along with some popular music of late 1940’s radio. I can still see myself as a five-year-old happily sitting cross-legged on the floor in my pretty. perhaps I was two. she grew up raising her younger brothers and sisters from an early age. blue-carpeted bedroom singing along to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans’s version of Happy Trails. Since Dad was in the toy business. her eyes sparkled and a huge smile took over her face. To this day she still drives and even shops and returns. Kahlil Gibran Without my even realizing it. unschooled but very intelligent. books and records. hip and chic. was very much in my life as well. My dad made it possible for her to have someone to help in the home. But it was the recorded music that thrilled me the most. at 91 is very modern. It could have been the huge expanse of the Western landscape’s open range or just the lopping cowboy rhythms that moved me to feel a 9 . we reconnected and had the opportunity to speak for hours on the phone. I looked at her life more deeply. Later in my life. My earliest memory. The ten years.
where they became larger than life. we always left with an album. she left her profession to become a housewife and mother. Elvis. and many others of influence and talent into my world. Golf and ballroom dancing were their entertainments. From Bea’s deep bluesy humming of 1940’s jazz — to the dusty yodel of Western cowboy songs. My parents were excellent dancers.. Sammy Davis Jr. New York. so she focused on getting a decent education. Samba and Meringue. My dad had a successful toy business and had to spend many hours traveling to his factory in New Jersey. Rumba. did well in school and remained healthy. My brother. which she accomplished. When my Grandma Jenny would take me to a Broadway show. My mother. After high school she studied and became a legal stenographer. She had grown up having much less. The technology of records. Each weekend I would watch my mother adorn herself in the most stylish clothes for an evening in New York’s famous nightclubs. Bo Diddley. Growing up in Lido Beach. my infatuation with the elixir of music formed. a tiny suburban post-war town beach town in Long Island. Later on in my teens. In the privacy of my own living room. Steve and I. Mambo. especially to my own songs. A typical 1960’s teenager. I thank her now even more than ever for her wisdom in knowing what we really needed. which landed her a job as a court reporter with a very good attorney. Her high school graduation picture and others that I have seen of her appear to be very serious. I remember begging Dad to take me to the Brooklyn Paramount when I was thirteen 10 . Popular music of the 1950’s also brought Frank Sinatra. My mother was very much in control of how I was raised. She encouraged my Dad to great heights and as a result she was able to reap the benefits of having a lovely home and the social life that accompanied it. played out on the street with a neighborhood full of kids. my family lived a privileged life. elegant. radio and TV basically took these inspiring people to a whole new level. who emulated these giants. Within a couple of days I would memorize all the tunes and even make up dances to go with them. I also lived and breathed the sounds of early rock n’ roll. intelligent and quite beautiful. I still like to dance.connectedness to my own open-hearted spirit. Buddy Holly and the many groups such as The Beatles. I would learn those same dances. Ella Fitzgerald. made sure that my brother and I were completely being raised in The American Dream. Chuck Berry. As soon as she married. mostly studying the Latin rhythms of Cha Cha.
Joan Baez. were not just singers. Leonard Cohen. Buffy St. It was also an experiential way of keeping up with the evolving energies of a revolutionary time. getting to travel and study unique native cultures around the world. a summer in Europe. Peter. dance. I dreamt more of being an anthropologist like Margaret Mead. It was a unique time since the whole youth culture was shifting. I could go back to teaching. My emotional involvement with the children was deep and their young age gave me 11 . Paul and Mary. Judy Collins. Between Dylan’s LSD influenced lyrics. theater and politics. Well. Bob Dylan. I began my second grade teaching career in the same school system where I grew up.years old to see Bo Diddley. by my father’s and mother’s advice. when my children were grown. I had no idea that I would continue to be in the educational field 40 years later. Aaron. Later in my life. I had to start somewhere. work for him for a year. something was changing inside of me and I knew that I would have to seek out alternatives to my methods of instruction in the classroom. Marie. Ian and Sylvia. In pumps and Jackie Kennedy style suits. I taught pretty much by the book for the first year. In 1966. creating a revolution which had infiltrated most aspects of art. Their innocence and spontaneity made my classroom come alive. Peter. I made sure that he understood what was behind their precise passion. I loved the children. their music and the effects that they had on me and many others of my generation . These musicians were huge political icons. In those days. Although I was exposed to a vast array of musical styles. They had the courage to sing and write about what was important and a belief that change was necessary to make for a better world. to see and hear Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie. Joni Mitchell. Paul and Mary and Joan Baez. music. or an explorer like Alexandra David-Neel. Pete Seeger. feeling my way through the boundaries and politics of what would be acceptable in my classroom. My family assumed that I would teach for a few years. I became a respectable school teacher. hanging out with some members of the cast of the Broadway show called Hair. start a family and not have to work other than in the home. Gordon Lightfoot. but accordingly. as my mother had done. and of course. becoming his massage therapist and a dear friend of his family ever since. learning to play the guitar and sing had a most potent influence on my life. When I first took my son. I actually got to meet him. Phil Ochs. Perhaps. most college women my age went into nursing or teaching. then settle down. when I graduated college with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Education.
I was living in New York City and playing the roles of two different people. many of whom were artists. These optional ways of perceiving and thinking gave me ideas that were different and the courage to explore them. As I knew her better I began to realize of course that there were no secrets. I felt frightened of them because I knew that I was never going to be the same after the influence that these freedom-loving people had on me. By day. I knew that unconditional acceptance of their being (not their behavior) was the only way to create an atmosphere where those young minds could relax and allow the learning process to happen. The role of the authority figure was important as well. Miss Schlesinger’s (my maiden name) classroom was permeated by a spirit of cooperation and affection among the children and a real enthusiasm for learning on their parts. but not based on fear. Because they were lovable. Josephine Kellman. energeticall y transfers a desire to learn more. asking that I be allowed to return to the system if I so chose at any time. after teaching for two years. the grassroots counterculture meant a lot to me. I was a schoolteacher working with very young children. Then. she wrote to the Superintendent about my work. Just being a crystal clean mirror for them to see themselves sets the foundation of a healthy self-image for their whole life. A special teacher had been assigned to observe and assist me in my 2nd grade classroom. A master teacher simply masters his or her subject and. I took an extended trip to Europe starting off with a girlfriend and ending up on my own after several months. I asked her to share her secrets with me. When she heard that I was leaving the school for an extended year abroad. 1967 In this atmosphere of the late 1960’s. and by night. It was during that trip that I met Philip de Castan. She wanted her children to meet the world with curiosity and wonder for that is how she meets the world. which was and is how most authority figures rule and control others. I gingerly mingled with beatniks. I couldn’t help but love them.permission to hold them and mold them at the same time. We were both on a very small ship or 12 . I experienced the solidarity of this time of great upheaval. Hype and media aside. I tried to understand what it was in Miss Schlesinger’s method which had inspired and maintained this spirit. I recently uncovered a letter from 1967 in some very old files written to the Superintendent of Schools. musicians and writers while in my early 20’s in New York’s Greenwich Village. through the delight of mastery. and it still does. Her ability to work so effectively sprung from her respect and love for each human being in her room. to think outside of the box I had grown up in. whatever is presented to the children will be absorbed and used as a catalyst to stimulate further learning. In 1968.
As I felt this inner thirst welling up inside of me. doesn’t it? It was a short but very intense relationship. heating up a part of me that could possibly explode unless I took my own stand to live my own life. an island in the Mediterranean . In between the songs. I was supposed to be headed for Israel. So the reflection of who I was and who I wanted to be was held up for me to see myself much more honestly. Philip had just finished a couple of years of graphic design school in London and was on his way back to his home in Nicosia. and Baba Ram Dass spoke about his journey to be with his Babaji in Be Here Now. His shoulder length brown hair electrified the atmosphere as he switched from singing in French. with its intense interest in the evolution of human consciousness. but not strong enough to distract me from new and diverse ideas that were paving the way through a delicate passage into adulthood. performers and little school teachers like me. The traditional grip was strong. These times became alive as writers. Instead of shopping for clothes and makeup to present what I considered to be a facade. Spanish and Greek. So completely enamored and drawn to this person. While Carlos Castaneda wrote about Don Juan’s jewels of peyote perception and Herman Hesse journeyed to the East to find his Master. he invited me to come to Cyprus. The rest was history. mostly because I don’t like rules without reason. An attentive crowd of Greek Cypriots joined him with his guitar as he sang. we were married in New York City. which I somehow suspected was not far from my reach. he would become a great influence in my life. the times they were a changing. it was natural that the Human Potential Movement. unfolded simultaneously. Along with the Civil Rights and Anti-War Movement. but after we met. The intense part is why it was short. Life has its plan. It felt as if those familial desires were abrasively rubbing at the core of my being. were lyrics written and sung by Robert Zimmerman. the traditional family values of 1960’s America didn’t quite feel right to me. I approached Philip after his performance mentioning that I also played and sang with guitar. I also witnessed a deeper need to know Peace. 13 . The Beatles had been to India to study Transcendental Meditation. Within about a year from that day. even though it was Greek to me. Through his writings. followed the politics and new philosophies of the day. the capitol of his country. As you can well imagine by now. I felt I was also preparing to live in a whole new way. In the 60’s many of us were exploring all possible avenues of personal development. he made jokes that put the audience in the palm of his hands. By the middle 1960’s.ferry from Athens to Cyprus. I made some quick mental travel changes and went home with him. reading metaphysical books and contemplating many deep questions about life. English. me included. I spent many hours by myself just listening to music. actors. songwriters. I spent more time looking for inspirational books and intelligent music to balance my growing skepticism of the world as it was. AKA Bob Dylan.
present and future. and others. I spent the next nine hours hovering over the turquoise Caribbean ocean. I walked barefoot on sharp coral rocks 14 . from Stanford. explorer. Richard Alpert wrote about his Master and his inevitable transformation from caterpillar to butterfly.A. New Haven. Richard Alpert’s explorations of human consciousness led him to conduct intensive research with LSD and other psychedelic elements. Leaving New York and flying to a Caribbean paradise was the best thing I could have ever done and it was enough to set the scene for an appealing new chapter in my life. Dr. Ph. Thomas in the American Virgin Islands. Richard Alpert and Leary were dismissed from Harvard in 1963. In August of 1972. Aldous Huxley. John with two of my best friends. I took my first LSD trip at Trunk Bay on the magnificent island of St. After studying psychology and earning an M. Because of the controversial nature of this unique research. optimist. While at Harvard. I smoked a bit of marijuana. I took weekend trips on sailboats with handsome captains. son of a wealthy lawyer who was the president of the New York. body and spiritual existence — past. and Hartford Railroad and founder of Brandeis University. I felt this human rawness with a sense of divinity thrown in. philosopher. in collaboratio n with Timothy Leary. took the opportunity to stop smoking cigarettes and even went vegetarian. I made superficial acquaintances using music to inch my way into many of the island’s eclectic circles. Allen Ginsberg.Ram Dass was born in 1933 as Richard Alpert. he taught and conducted research at the Department of Social Relations and the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University from 1958 to 1963.D. (1920-1996) was a psychologist. thoroughly witnessing my own mind. from Wesleyan and a Ph. author and revolutionary avatar of the mind. The islands taught me about the sensuality of the warm sun. he went public with his observations of the mind made with psychedelic mindscopes and helped initiate a renaissance in consciousness. the salty seawater and the gentle breezes on my body. I found myself teaching first grade in a private school in St. Timothy Leary. Two months later. teacher. It was protectively allowing me to drift freely through the moment without focusing for too long on any fears.D. Feeling very safe and ready for my generation’s intensive rite of passage. and I played my folk music in small clubs up until the wee hours of the night. I swam on the ocean without swimming. Rightly called the Galileo of Consciousness. It was during these months away from friends and family that I thoroughly re-read Baba Ram Dass’ Be Here Now. spent lazy afternoons watching natives climbing palm trees for the delicacy of the exotic coconut fruit and its milk.
the tones and rhythms of movement and sound serenaded my senses like never before. so I grabbed my latest boyfriend Bill. That wildness never came from anger. I wanted to experience sex on LSD. I do stay in touch with those who love me. I just felt a trust. I stayed with my brother. During those hours. My Mom and Dad freaked out. Trying to prepare for the journey. while I counted up my school teaching money. which was just enough for a round trip fare and $100 to spare. in that moment. a feeling so natural guiding me. the textures. Later on that evening. The conditional nature of my relationship with them just pushed me even further away from their grip. I went ahead with my plans. I heard my mind come in to remind me who and where I was – and with judgment of course. instead of looking for a great bargain at Bloomingdales. I still had more vacation time. I was re-experiencing my birth. It was more of a thirst to know something deeper than what we see in our everyday lives. I knew that I had to travel to India. Who could understand why I would be interested in searching for answers to my questions about existence. So determined to leave. In fact. I didn’t want to protest anymore — I wanted to find Peace. I sold my car and packed myself up to return to New York. I sensed that I was being guided to meet someone who could help me find my teacher. I found the act itself to be very annoying and pretentious. I could hardly breathe. all of my interactions with others brought me back into my ego and the illusory dimensions of past and future. I even gave away my guitar and my books of protest songs. Sometimes being very naïve can also be a blessing in disguise. but the round-trip ticket was a better deal than one-way. Vera. At that moment. While I might be a wild woman. Although the unsettling reactions of my concerned parents caused me some discomfort. Sensing that I was about to take a major journey. I applied and waited for my visa to Nepal. my desperation for inner awareness was critical. mostly because I didn’t sell that VW they had bought for me for enough money. 15 . Steve and sister-in-law. While in New York City. Within two weeks. a need within me began to emerge. To be honest. Fortunately. allowing me to gently recompose. recuperate and come back down to Earth. my childhood — my life and even my death without a blinking of an eye. the only music I could listen to was the sound of whales. I just wanted to stay in the now. they gave me a couch to stay on as I readied myself. Over the next few days.without injury. Even Joan Baez sounded shallow. As I slowly receded from the influence of the drug. I packed a lightweight backpack with a variety of rugged clothes and a warm down sleeping bag. The colors. I promised that I would write every few days. which I did. back in my house. I felt such a passion to go to India and Nepal that I really didn’t know if I would ever return to the United States.
which was legal in those days. and leaves them responsible for choosing their course in life. Dressed as a sadhu (monk) in a long white robe. and the drive to make the most of themselves and their opportunities. Patrick said. I later found out that Ayn Rand was more than a writer. “Why are you here?” I asked. (pronounced Iyn) as my middle name. no matter what I was pursing at the time. through voluntary trade with others. After three days of explorations in the city. I landed in Kathmandu. Patrick seemed completely at ease in this rugged and distant setting. in February 1973. I had a habit of attracting transformational energy. Very old and inviting. “I 16 . while Nepalese people went about their daily lives. She was also a philosopher. the city and outlying foothills of the Himalayan Mountains could quite easily have become an entertaining diversion and distraction from my real thirst. She believed that a free society leaves people free to pursue their own interests. It was there that I met Patrick O’Reilly. I felt this kind of a drive in my own life. After finding a small hotel where I could recuperate from the grueling airplane journey. and this eastern direction was born of a sizzling passion of wanting to know the source of my existence – and I would later learn that this was not exactly a trip for sissies. I noticed a few Western travelers dotting the local restaurants and hashish shops. 1945. I gratefully rested on the steps of a small Hindu temple taking in the crisp air and blazing sun. embedding her theories and ideas into her well known novels. I didn’t know at that moment how this man would profoundly alter the course of my life. The unique sounds. He radiated an air of serenity and effortless delight with the role that he played. Ayn Rand My mother was reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand when she gave birth to me on August 18. I found solace in painting a watercolor sunrise in my diary and then proceeded to dance on the roof of the hotel. who have a sense of self-ownership. Nepal. pungent smells and colorful sights offered exotic sensuality very distinctive and acutely stimulating. Walking out of my hotel onto the dirt main roads. She gave me the name Ayn. awakening and calling Hindu worshipper s to their prayers. Traveling to the East was my way of expanding my consciousness in the same way that Herman Hesse and others had done before me. as the sun came up. a far cry from his British Cockney roots. It relies on people who are capable of thinking for themselves.Chapter Two: Journey to the East Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision. My dance was accompanied by the sounds of roosters and temple bells.
Knowing that he was married helped to keep things in a real perspective. In my heart. Patrick and I became acquainted by spending the next few days walking paths along dried up rice fields. It was your basic model mud hut with a thatched roof in the middle of the dried up rice paddies. like meditating on the moon and on my breath. the last thing I was interested in was another fling. We paid $15 for the next two weeks. This hotel was a hangout for Westerners buying their hashish from the downstairs store. a small restaurant in the village for $. Patrick was an elegant man. at least intellectually. Patrick helped me to calm down with simple activities. mental and physical stress. 17 .have been traveling in the East on and off for many years. we shared a room in the Eden Hashish Den. Patrick became my brother on a very deep level. where I have a wife and children. I also return often to my home in England. Remember that I had started this journey with only $100 and it had to last as long as possible. I awoke that first night from my very light sleep — if I was even able to sleep at all — to the sound of a rat scurrying underneath my bed. his azure eyes and unwrinkled face held something sacred. I trusted the feeling. visiting with other Westerners who were also traveling and living in the area. probably $1. watching Buddhist rituals and chatting with local Nepalese. But at this point in my life. He carried with him some books which I read voraciously during the day and by candlelight in the evening. Inside and out.50 for the both of us. eating delicious Tibetan food. that I also contained that same capacity within myself. Patrick slept like a baby. I speak some of the languages (Hindi and Tibetan) and have a great interest in the culture of these regions.” As he spoke. I carried with me so many fears with built-in tension overlapping many layers of emotional. we decided to rent a little house outside of the Tibetan Village of Boudna. After spending a few days together in Kathmandu and the surrounding villages. an excitement bubbled about discovering a person who had attained a level of peace I did not know. It was a cheap flop house. One night a few days after we first met. I needed to heal. We ate at Mama’s. since I knew. something I wanted for myself.00 a night — very basic accommodations.
I had not intended to travel to Kathmandu in order to trek to Everest or to smoke hashish in exotic dens. and spoke to large crowds of thousands of people. his life.I was reading a book called The Third Eye by Lopsang Rampa. 18 . He is now fifteen. who explained the connection between science and spirituality. “Yes. this young teacher. so what’s the difference with a bit of schlepping. I didn’t judge it or worry about it. I was deeply motivated to find someone who could direct me inward. this was no pleasure vacation either. I felt something very kind and comforting happening . he would tell me more about himself. while we were staring at a glorious full moon next to the backdrop of these Himalayan foothills. I would have rather died in some cave in the Himalayas than have settled for some forlorn emptiness in a split-level house in suburban America. I thought about this as I leaned over to have my head shaved by a Tibetan barber. I said. and I didn’t. Prem Rawat. I just followed it. Shri Hans Ji Maharaj. “Would you like to join me on my trip to India?” Not having any pressing appointments. As Patrick and I got to know each other. that when his father passed. sure!” At that point. “It’s a couple of years old. Patrick said. Patrick spoke of Knowledge . What came from this small child amazed everyone. but somehow the feelings entered my heart. One evening. Indeed. so much so. Much of what Patrick even said to me about this Knowledge went over my head.” I looked at this image with an open curiosity. and his passions. One star-studded evening in this Himalayan setting. I had probably forgotten where I was anyway. the small eight-year-old child followed in his father’s footsteps to become a Teacher dedicated to imparting this precious teaching called Knowledge . “I’m on my way to India to see my Teacher. traveled with his father.” He then proceeded to take out a picture of a thirteen year old boy and showed it to me. also known as Maharaji. I would follow any path that I thought would lead me there and I prayed continually to find what I was looking for. His name is Prem Rawat. For a young woman used to country clubs and fancy hotels. The ice-cold water and straight-edged razor sent a chill down my spine as I looked out upon this colorful Tibetan village. Just wish I could afford a Sherpa to carry my backpack. he said. a Tibetan Doctor. From the age of four. all throughout Northern India. He said. something that his Teacher imparts to those who are thirsty and who sincerely want to know a Peace which comes from within.
that passed us on the paths each day walking to and from our little hut in a field of rice dried up rice paddies. known as the jumping ground for the best trekking in Nepal. Steve and Vera were also impressed with Patrick. No combs. they made plans to stop in Kathmandu and visit with me for five days. had I not seen it in this manner. They already knew that my transformation was definitely progressing well. brushes or mirrors. an avid photographer. enriched with gorgeous lakes and surrounded by picturesque mountains. 19 . And a shopping we did go. Thirdly. It was a 1969 Volkswagen station wagon. Secondly. as well as the heads of many Tibetan monks. I was hoping that I might be headed toward a monk-like state of being at this time in my life. it was an act of renouncing this physical attachment to my learned identity. rugs and jewelry. my head has a beautiful shape. We had set this meeting up before I even left New York. which I never would have known. I met them at the airport with my shaven head. We drove to Pokhara. they walked the few miles to our village each morning to visit us at our cute little thatched hut. Mostly. hand-painted wall hangings used as focal points in Tibetan meditation). I felt clean. since they are art collectors and dealers. They loved it! We were all so happy to see each other. It is customary for the women to wear their wealth on their body. documented passionately all of our experiences together in this unique setting. Coincidently. The next day we rented the best car in town along with an experienced driver. and for the next five days. We got them checked into the Palace Hotel in Kathmandu. who accompanied me to the airport to greet them. made of mud and cow dung. my brother. Patrick’s ability to translate helped Steve and Vera find some fabulous treasures. and their amber and turquoise jewelry. and free in many ways. For me. Steve. I was traveling very light. The Pokhara Valley lies 200 kilometers west of Kathmandu. I didn’t have to worry if my hair looked a certain way or not. male and female. Steve and his wife Vera were making a trip around the world. To their surprise. they wanted to see the Tibetan tonkas (silk. Firstly. We all spent the days on foot in the surrounding terraced foothills enjoying the beautiful February weather and appreciating the colorfully dressed Nepalese women wearing their saris. refreshed.Patrick’s head was shaven. In their itinerary.
From Patna. I kept entrusting Patrick with my life. These trains were the dilapidated wooden ones with people hanging from racks. Given the unbearable stench. The mystery of the East was so alluring that for many of us. Sharing what I had was very natural. benches and out the windows just like what you see in documentaries on public TV. that’s for sure. I had already spent half of my original $100 in the first couple of weeks. also having 20 . results in people losing important salts and fluids from the body which can be fatal if the body dehydrates. Patrick would never have asked me for a rupee. a common problem while traveling in third world countries. a city in the Northeastern area of India. with people taking you in to their homes. still in Kathmandu. and the bottom line was that I couldn’t have gotten there by myself. I was also pretty sick with dysentery. a direct route west to New Delhi. I just learned how to hold my breath. We boarded a French freak bus (literally translated as a bus operated by French hippies enroute to India). Of course. and he had nothing. What is fair is fair. I know that they felt that I was in good hands. Patrick and I stayed with the driver for the trip back. Nothing ever in my reality would indicate what they felt like to actually travel on. The diarrhea caused by dysentery. Obviously. By this time. My brother and sister-in-law continued on their trip around the world. and decided to fly back to Kathmandu with Vera. Money is energy and the trade was my safety and my total well-being. Patrick and I had $50 between us.Steve got altitude sickness that evening. but helped a bit in the meantime. It was common in the 1970’s for young people like Patrick and me to travel without much money. But the logistics of the plan was to get to India to see the teacher. money was not the means that transported people there. I needed to use the bathroom often. It was an exciting few days with my family. we then traveled by third-class trains across Northern India. which tasted really awful. Two weeks later. No amusement park ride. Thank God I didn’t also have any vomiting and fever. feeding you and wishing you well on your journey. the longing in my heart to know this inner place of self-love was driving me to learn more about Patrick’s teacher and to stay in the East to accomplish my goals. Patrick helped me in all possible ways to get through not feeling well in this extremely unsympathetic setting and offered me some Ayurvedic herbal medicines. There was more of a spiritual enchantment connected with the journey.
Despite my immense discomfort and nervous restlessness. “You will be sorry you were so close to this great monument and didn’t see it. In 1631. one finds peace. they’re incorrect.) After a full week of more horrendously hot. crowded and unsanitary third class trains. no matter if I am in Maui on a cliff overlooking the sea. In the 21 . Thank God for my good balance. The biggest realization so far that I understood was that you can’t get away from your mind and the pain that it brings you. I did take a tour to learn about this incredible wonder of the world. even to Nepal and India. since most people missed the hole in the floor. built the Taj Mahal as a memorial to his beloved wife. Patrick. (They just don’t make guys like this anymore. but the heaviest part of me was something that didn’t weigh an ounce. If you take this facackta (Yiddish – you guess) mind to the most beautiful and externally peaceful place in the world. An emperor. my purpose in looking for a Teacher was to find out how to live this Peace from the inside out. insisted that we stop at the Taj Mahal. we slept overnight in New Delhi. It was here in the Teacher’s ashram (shelter) that I met a man named Charanand. If people think that by journeying to an exotic and far-off location.to watch where I stepped. Her heartbroken husband spent approximately two decades. Later in the day. but mainly remember spending much of the afternoon looking for discreet places in the bushes to relieve myself of the constant diarrhea. when I was feeling better. I tried very hard to distract myself by singing in my head every song I had ever memorized. you still have your unnerving thoughts to distract you from the beauty. He answered the door when Patrick and I arrived after that grueling trip. and much of the money in the royal treasury. or a crowded Manhattan subway at rush hour in August. I sheepishly consented. fulfilling his wife’s dying wish by building a monument to their love. Since I didn’t know how to really go inside and ignore my crazy mind. I had been so anxious to leave the West and yet I took my mind with me. So. she died giving birth to their 14th child. Shah Jahan. What a schlep it turned out to be! I was trying to learn how to travel light. What carried me through that challenging week was quietly focusing inward in any way that I could imagine.” he said. who stayed brilliantly calm during this journey.
the sun was shinning through the eyes and smile of this magnificent being. in more ways than you can imagine. I felt so grateful to be still. Five hours later.middle of a gray dusty city. and I can help you find it. we arrived. took off my heavy backpack and laid down to rest. let me out a couple of times that day. and most importantly. 22 . I did have my priorities. There was an excitement permeating the air and it was contagious. Charanand told us to leave immediately for Prem Nagar. more than they were already doing. He then spoke seriously of a boundless love that could be accessed right within inside of each of us. not having my intestines being rumbled about. Later that day. could see I was really tired. He was very short. We headed North of Delhi in an old. we walked a short distance to Prem Nagar. the Teacher joked around. as the Gods are believed to have left their footprints in Haridwar. I remember asking the driver in my sign language to stop the bus. I especially learned to love their very clean squat toilets! (As a matter of fact. just before the sun was setting. a small group of us eagerly filed up a narrow staircase to a rooftop garden. From the bus station in Haridwar. making us all feel so good. I could finally rest. His thick accent and prepubescent. another ashram of this Teacher. In his talk. a meal was given. to sit and listen to the Teacher speak. His message was simple: “The peace that you are looking for is within you. since then I have squatted. one of the seven holiest places according to Hindu mythology.) I found myself a futon on the women’s side of the ashram. dusty bus without a bathroom. Later that day. almost for no reason at all. instantly quieting my unruly mind. thereby improving my elimination system tenfold. I sat just a few feet from him with my head tilted upward toward his pleasing face. Our bus was bound for Haridwar or the Gateway to the Gods. but they could not always be accommodated. lovely and helpful. and the water tasted delicious. I was also relieved. The next day. high-pitched voice took hold of me. and wait for me while I snuck behind a tree to do my business. Everyone.” He spoke of Knowledge as a valuable seed already planted within. enjoyed. Though exhausted. which must be nourished with the proper attention. the young Teacher arrived on a motorbike to the overwhelming excitement of a small group of people. The food was wonderful. In the morning. chubby and dressed in a well-pressed white shirt and black pants. which means the City of Love.
also known as Maharaji.You may be wondering how such a young man could be so wise. My heart was ready to catch the magic of this moment and it did. We hugged and then he left. Prem Rawat. We said our goodbyes while I was picking potatoes in the garden for the evening meal. what he imparts has nothing to do with age. “How can I charge you for something you already have?” 23 . It’s a good thing that there is no charge for this teaching. but I did feel surrendered to the love that was in the air. When asked why he doesn’t charge any money for this teaching. I was then given the opportunity to receive initiation. Actually. he said. His Knowledge is a practical way to attune the heart to the strings of love.000 people. Not knowing if I would ever see him again. ten of us sat quietly as we were introduced to that deepest part of our timeless selves. I walked to the rose garden next to the Ganges River to pick rose petals. They would be sold at the market to people saying prayers while throwing the petals into the river. I knew that everything was perfect. There was to be a large festival in a nearby location and everyone at Prem Nagar was involved in the preparation. It’s all about awareness of a feeling that resides inside of the hearts of us all. He allowed the Western devotees to sit on the stage with him. I knew that this young man was going to be my Teacher. In everything I did at Prem Nagar. spoke to a crowd of more than 100. I felt stronger and stronger. Patrick’s visa in India was about to expire. so he had to trek to the western border with Pakistan in order to begin his trip back to England. I didn’t understand Hindi. which took place in a small room in the ashram. I had the opportunity to ask him when I could receive Knowledge and he said as soon as the program was over. I was tenderly being healed from the pain of my own mind. In an afternoon session. still a long journey back to his other life. Early every morning. I felt inspired by watching his dancer-like movements as I watched him walk through the gates of Prem Nagar. Between my deep prayers and the scenario of how we met. which is exactly the way it happened. With each new day. I just felt gratitude for how he had guided me all those weeks. I knew in that moment in time that what I was truly searching for was really close.
24 . I shared a room with the grandfather of the family who owned a nearby Chai shop. Before leaving India and going back to the West. I read her autobiography about her intensely harsh and narrow escape. Coming from a royal Tibetan family. Since that time in India. Then I would spend part of each day with the children. who is called The Daughter of Tibet. a refugee school and community formed and directed by Richen Dolma Taring. I hiked up to the local Buddhist monastery to practice Knowledge . My breath became fuller. I asked Mrs. I took a month to travel on my own. As I sat in her small office in the spring of 1973 overlooking quaint window views of snowcovered Himalayan peaks far in the distance. actually dropped down about an inch. She escaped Tibet with the Dali Lama in 1959 during a cruel campaign by the Chinese to eradicate the Tibetan people and their particular spiritual culture of Tibetan Buddhism. he handed me a small painting of Buddha. without distractions of fear which my mind could so easily create. humor and of course. Dressed in little white shirts and blue shorts. I could sense that I was more patient with myself and others. I had prepared little drawings and just had them repeat some words which the drawings represented. more precious and appreciated. I said. I felt like a baby looking at myself and the world with a set of new eyes. but the experience has never left my mind. immense faith obviously characteristic of her people and something I certain want to emulate. usually very tight and held up to my ears. I found a village of Tibetan children called Happy Valley. “Perhaps I could teach some English to the children?” She welcomed my help and found me a place to stay with a local family. hardiness. Taring was the first Tibetan woman to speak and write English. Each morning. which still hangs in my dining room. Taring if I could help in this refugee school in some capacity.After the Knowledge session. After school each day I would have a meal of potato stew and chat with the fifteen year old son of the family I stayed with. I knew that I needed to practice the techniques in order to maintain this feeling and for benefit to be derived. Mrs. I couldn’t get extremely creative. It wasn’t until I saw the look that the teacher gave to them that I understood there would be no fooling around in this school. I felt a very subtle change that gave me a sense of an altered state of knowing and it felt peaceful. My order of priorities became more one-pointed. they sat in rows on benches very straight and extremely quiet. She conveyed throughout great kindness. He was a serious Tonka artist in-training and before I left Happy Valley. My shoulders. We shared some long conversations in the night.
so after our morning meditation and a quick breakfast. as soon as I returned to New York. I ended up teaching in a daycare center in Spanish Harlem under the worst possible conditions. I lived in a three-level townhouse ashram with six other devotees. I also met with Maharaji devotees who lived in an ashram in Miami. On the subway rides to work. I remember feeling extremely protected from any possible danger. I never experienced any worries or fears for my life. I felt welcomed and inspired by others practicing Knowledge . My experience with Knowledge put a bubble of protection around me. That means so much when you are living so close to the edge. In visiting my parents. I got very close.One of the songs on the musical CD. Each morning the children came hungry and poorly clothed for the New York winter. who had just permanently moved to South Florida. easing me back to my culture with a new way of seeing and living. Everyone worked. It is reminiscent of my time in Happy Valley. Just off of Amsterdam Avenue on West 73rd Street. In less than a year. I enjoyed the warm weather. fresh orange juice and the ocean. I connected with others who also practiced this Knowledge and within a couple of days found a place to live in a setting that would inspire me to stay focused. many of whom were junkies would walk me to the subway in the evening when I left the center. I have much more important things to do. accompanying this book is called White Mountain . I left New York City for Miami. I immediately found a 25 . It was amazing that these children never did hurt themselves. Fortunately. I lived and slept in a room the exact size of three sleeping bags lined up one by one. we were all out the door. I reflect on how important it is for Tibetans to one day be able to return to their native land and restore the ancient religion and culture. The parents of the children in this daycare center. very quickly with those two other women on either side of me. I knew that being armed with this Knowledge would be a powerful tool on many levels. peace and beauty of living in India would be ripped away as soon as I embarked on the journey back to the West. This Knowledge would soften the blow. They invited me to live there. Their playground would be covered in the broken liquor bottles from the homeless people who lived there. The simplicity. I still rarely feel worried or fearful.
I couldn’t resist. welcomed me with opened arms.part-time secretarial job with the Mental Health Association a few blocks away. a small southern city in those days called Miama. Miami. 26 .
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. or electrosurgical loop. such things as laser conization can be excisional or destructiv e by vaporization . I am grateful to the doctor who found the cancer. MD In February 1975. who said I should come in and have another test taken so they could double-check the results.000 women were given a Hysterectomy and 400. especially with anything invasive.000 women had been castrated. which unfortunately is a common operation undergone by hundreds of thousands of women each year. Albert Schweitzer. 615. But. for excluding microinvasive carcinomas. After that would be a conization — defined as excision of a cone-shaped or cylindrical wedge from the cervix uteri that includes the transformation zone and all or a portion of the endocervical canal. Combined conization usually refers to a procedure started with a laser and completed with a cold-knife technique. As we all know in Western Medicine. In 2004. I would not have had any idea that I was sick if the cancer had not shown up on my annual Pap test. Cervical intraepithelial neoplasia (CIN) is now used to describe what was once called dysplasia.Chapter Three: The Cancer Diagnosis Every patient carries his or her own doctor inside. and for conservative treatment of cervical intraepithelial neoplasia. Techniques for diagnostic and therapeutic conization are virtually identical. First he wanted me to have cryosurgery. The extent of excision must be adjusted according to individual needs. The latter is called the loop electrosurgical excision procedure or large loop excision of the transformatio n zone. or ever be able to have children. Conization is used for the definitive diagnosis of squamous or glandular intraepithelial lesions. the doctor said that most likely I would need a hysterectomy. Conization can be performed with a scalpel (cold-knife conization). because my test results were so severe. a commonly used in-office procedure for the treatment of a variety of benign and malignant lesions. ” I received the news from a concerned receptionist at my gynecologist’s office. laser. After I did. 27 . two years after my experiences in the Nepal and India and at the age of 29. Showing no pain or other symptoms. which had come back from the lab marked “Class V: Conclusive for Malignancy. The second test brought the same results: it was cervical cancer. I spent the next few days wondering whether I would die.
at 29. leaving the cervix intact. I honestly don’t think we can work with you.” the nurse said during these phone calls. I finally just told the nurse to stop calling me. The uterus may be completely or partially removed.according to the Center for Disease Control. I refused to be around anyone who manifested fear. Intuitively I knew that healing could only take place where there was a feeling of gentle nurturing and infusing oneself with healing life force. “Jill. and the tubes and ovaries may also be removed at the time of hysterectomy. I truly felt that my body would tell me what it really required. my heart beating a mile a minute. the tissue on both sides of the cervix. Someone from the office staff still called a few times that week to remind me that the doctor needed to do more tests and they encouraged me to get to the hospital as soon as possible. A total hysterectomy is removal of the entire uterus and the cervix. I wasn’t going to allow him or any other doctor to do anything invasive. I’d always been an obedient. There I was. I’d never challenged any authority figure before. No one needs to hear that more than once.” As he turned his back on me and walked out of his office. never having any children. It made more sense to me to think about strengthening my immune system first through exercise. “If you won’t do what I recommend then don’t bother to come back. this operation was unthinkable. “Could I give natural methods a try for a month and be retested then?” I asked. It’s funny. A radical hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus. “Jill. law-abiding person. and the upper part of the vagina. Probably if the doctor had gently explained everything to me and 28 . even though according to their understanding. The nurse’s insistence fueled for me an entirely different agenda. For me. young and seemingly healthy. it was a matter of life and death. The whole thing didn’t feel right.” I left the gynecologist’s office somewhat shaken. We really want you in the hospital this week. listening to my doctor describe something hidden within my own body that had the power to kill me — or at the very least to substantially change me. without any eye contact he said. He looked condescendingly at me. A partial hysterectomy is removal of just the upper portion of the uterus. That was just the kind of panic I didn’t need to hear. I can still see myself standing across from this doctor. It became imperative to get beyond those negative concepts. thoughts and ideas. and exploring the possible mental and emotional causes of this illness. you might die if you ignore what the doctor is telling you. right foods.
who had just returned from a trip to China. Certainly the Pap test was telling me something. time without fear and time to rest. will do more for healing than anything else. Stagnation and a lack of vitality had bred in the cervical area of my body. since the imbalance that created it would find new territory to invade and destroy. I forged on with my plan. during this time. hoping to boost my immune system and give my body an opportunity to put up a good fight.then accepted my need to have a couple of months to try my way. I started there. I knew that just treating the symptom (irregular cancerous cells) would not be enough. Determination and focused intent. I found no naturopathic resources available in Miami in 1975. and I also grew up watching I Love Lucy. Although I was a lacto-vegetarian. I would have been more open to hearing what he had to say. Ph. I agreed with the diagnosis. except when I thought about the results of the tests. I believe in miracles. but not with the methods used to correct the problem. I actually felt perfectly fine.D. I asked Mr. Was this asking too much? I didn’t think so. I decided that I would use non-invasive strategies to improve my body and mind’s health and vitality. had dabbled in Hatha Yoga. so I decided not to even think about any of it. 29 . Kushi what I could do to heal myself of the cancer. which was guiding me each step of the way. Even though I was disheartened by his refusal to understand my point of view. Roosters wake us up. I’m very feisty in many ways. mostly because I continued to feel a greater direction than even the doctor’s. My confidence was building. As down to Earth and practical as I am.. My Teacher says that the greatest miracle is the breath. and on his advice I telephoned Michio Kushi. I’m a Rooster by the Chinese Astrological Calendar. a nationally known authority on Macrobiotics and founder of the Kushi Institute in Massachusetts. I told Dr. I have always wanted to take charge. Using natural means to cleanse and rejuvenate this depression in my reproductive system made overall sense to me. I just needed some time to heal myself…. I also maintain a strong connection with the magical qualities of life. It’s my Leo nature. along with prayer and love for oneself. Dale about my diagnosis. You would think that it would have made sense to the medical doctors as well. Continuing to live my life swimming upstream. I was taking a six-week course entitled The Theory of Oriental Medicine with Ralph Alan Dale. Coincidentally. So. and was curious about Oriental Medicine.
the definition of health is the apparent absence of symptoms and disease. beans.Mr. we can more fully align with nature to achieve harmony and balance. Now that’s a prescription I can live with. green vegetables. we have lost this intuitiveness and have come to rely on others to dictate our lives. seeds. health and disease are not considered to be static entities.D. Macrobiotics is a way of life. we are in balance and can live our lives fully. I prayed and taught myself to think of the food as my medicine. the sleeping bag on the floor and the rice bowl in my lap. M. they are part of us. they used their intuition to guide their lives. at each meal. there is a positive image of what it means to be a vibrant healthy person. Kushi suggested I immediately start on an extreme diet that required me to eat nothing but cooked brown rice for ten days. Whether you consider yourself to be healthy. I steamed the vegetables or sautéed them in small amounts of cold-pressed oil. I eliminated all spices and flavorings except for tamari (soy sauce). In addition. or have a degenerative or even lifethreatening illness. and we can either move in the direction towards health. By applying this understanding to our own lives. When we are out of balance. Macrobiotics can guide us to make better choices in our food. Each is a direction. the rice became a liquid. I visualized this predigested rice bringing life giving and healing energy to my body and mind. They 30 . This will lead to better physical. our bodies gently alert us with symptoms. and miso soup. Rather. When we live in alignment with nature and our environment. arising from within. He said that my blood would become purified on this diet. About a month later. I added a small amount of fruit to my meals. I remember the little apartment. seaweeds. What is Macrobiotics? By Stacy Adkins. Macrobiotics seeks to teach us to recover this intuition so that we may rely on ourselves to maintain our health and overall well-being day by day. macrobiotics can help heal our societal and environmental ills. I gradually added sweet potatoes. eventually a disease state evolves. which need to be suppressed or eradicated. mental. emotional and spiritual health. In macrobiotics. Chewed many times in a relaxed and meditative atmosphere. In this day and age. These peoples didn’t have to analyze everything they were doing. These signs and symptoms should not be viewed as enemies invading our bodies. eating habits. or in the direction towards illness. How Can Macrobiotics Help Me? In Western medicine. The macrobiotic way of eating and living has been naturally practiced by traditional societies around the globe for millennia. you can begin to move in the direction of health. Also. More important than anything. activity and lifestyle. If we ignore them. It allows us to understand everything in the universe according to laws of change and harmony. After ten days.
Marquand would serve me herbal tea and a hard little ball of herbs — about a half-inch in diameter — which I would chew and swallow. Felix Marquand. it didn’t taste very good. This was one of them. Marquand. Dr. When he saw that I was worried. not with everyone. nonemergency ailments. but with situations that appeared safe and right. There is an inherent trust in the workings of the body and its desire to become healthy again. they would also perform surgery. The energy flowing along these pathways travels throughout the body in a prescribed manner. I had been very trustful all of my life. not just from a superficial level. or pathways. it became clear that the doctors in China would always begin with the gentler and less invasive modalities of Acupuncture. but he was not licensed to practice medicine here. “Worry no good. If one or more of these pathways becomes blocked.are there to urge us to make the proper adjustments in our diet and lifestyle so that we may bring ourselves back into a balanced. In Western medicine there is not this kind of trust and certainly no patience to allow the body to heal itself given accurate nurturing opportunities. In my introduction to Oriental Medicine. I never asked him what the herbs were though I’ve since learned that Chinese medicine uses many different plants and even animal substances to treat illnesses. Their ancient history of using Acupuncture and herbs gave them the confidence that these harmonically balanced procedures would have the effect of healing the person. After my treatments. was also a medical doctor in China. No. Marquand. No problem. healthy state. Dr. Dr. whom I would visit twice a week for the next month. but I trusted his eyes. I learned that in 31 . 1 Dr. his confident demeanor. diet and herbs.” Without knowing why. the movement of chi may become sluggish or overenergized. He was a local acupuncturist and herbalist. According to the theory behind Acupuncture. but one that reaches the source(s) of the imbalance. of electrical energy called chi or qi. Dale also referred me to Dr. in his broken English. and the body realigns itself. passing through all the organ and gland systems. but in serious cases that were not progressing in a positive manner. the body is made up of 14 meridians. Once a slight weakness is found within a certain meridian that corresponds to any organ system. I fix. The herbs were part of my medicine and he was the doctor. I just believed him. would say. Oriental Medicine automatically attunes the flow of energy. resulting in illness. and the long history of success for common. probably about 65 at the time.
pollution. 32 . What makes Oriental Medicine so helpful is that the treatment can diagnose and therefore prevent diseases long before the organ or glandular system becomes so toxic that it can be diagnosed by Western standards. This is what really impressed me most and still does. Can you imagine this standard being applied to the Western medical model? The specific placement of very thin needles along these unseen channels unlocks and alters the flow. not heal them. Colon Cleansing.traditional Chinese Medical practice the doctor only gets paid when he keeps his patients well. the acupuncturist is able to sense six pulses in each wrist.00 per visit and straightened up his office for the discounted rate. bringing equilibrium. Most of my experiences with Acupuncture have been totally painless — although I have felt a slight twinge at times. copying the fast food eaten in the West and general stress that causes these sicknesses. he had practiced for the past forty years. Although Asian people also become ill with many kinds of diseases. take me straight to the hospital. Just using their hands. Guided Imagery. Yoga. Of course. Meditation. In comparing these approaches. eyes. In an emergency. which at the time I met him. which correspond to the inner workings of each organ system. Raw and Living Food Programs. I gained a tremendous confidence in Dr. it actually doesn’t severely hurt. ears. mostly. I have come to the conclusion that Western medicine is the best for emergencies. instead of getting to the root cause of the imbalance. I must say that I didn’t have this kind of confidence in the Western approach to medicine. I referred many people to him as well.000-year-old medicine. its approach does not get to the source or give enough attention to ways to prevent disease. I paid him $5. and serious brain surgeries. Prayer. Their training causes these doctors to be very sensitive without using any external equipment. Naturopathy. Marquand. I had approximately eight treatments during that month. since it treats the manifestation of symptoms. Most of the medicines are used to suppress the symptoms. Juice Fasting. but for chronic problems. mostly because he had great confidence in himself and this 6. For most other medical problems – give me Acupuncture. Energy Healing and Metaphysical Affirmation s. and improving the general condition of the body. orthopedics. it is city living. reducing pain and swelling.
body and spirit. Yoga is a dance. keeping to my meditation practice. If you do twenty minutes of basic Yoga each day of your life with gratitude and caring. eating life-giving living and raw foods. and pelvic disorders. sleeping peacefully and living a physically active life. the legendary clairvoyant and psychic healer. Yoga. Not only did they see improvement in their physical condition. His prescriptions were later crossreferenced and compiled into books so that people like me could use them to heal themselves. I feel better than when I am not. The same goes for drinking fresh juices. There are never enough hours in the day to give this kind of caring to oneself. This state of relaxation and meditation enabled him to place his mind in contact with all time and space. Edgar Cayce endorsed abdominal castor oil packs as a home remedy for all types of problems involving lymph flow. I know that when I am doing a Yoga practice at least every other day. Listen more to your own body than to anyone else. mental and spiritual exercise based on many of the same type of positions. kidney. if you become faced with a unique situation. must be simple and meditative. which moves you through this world 33 . you have no choice. such as: inflammation. Cayce used to go into a trance. Yoga is a way of life. closing his eyes. but they also noticed that they could sit more comfortably and longer in meditation. There should be no struggle. even the yoga instructor. Yoga means union of the mind. however. congestion. I had read that Edgar Cayce. holding the position as breath filled and emptied the body. and folding his hands over his stomach. “What are the secrets of the universe?” to “How can I remove a wart?” His responses to these questions came to be called readings and contain insights so valuable that even to this day individuals have found practical help for everything from maintaining a wellbalanced diet and improving human relationships to overcoming life-threatening illnesses and experiencing a closer walk with God. For forty-three years of his adult life.I also placed heated castor oil packs (see Resources) on my abdomen for about forty minutes a day. you will benefit. had used this method to treat cervical as well as other cancers. constipation and liver. Edgar Cayce demonstrated the uncanny ability to put himself into some kind of self-induced sleep state by lying down on a couch. Ancient people of India meticulously observed the movements of animals and nature and then developed a scientific discipline of physical. not just a physical workout. from where he could determine specific treatments for each patient. in the most classical sense. From this state he could respond to questions as diverse as.
he finally agreed just to give me a Pap test. The trend to study Yoga has become quite fashionable – which in some ways gets the message out there – but with mixed and confusing concepts of its true healing value. He wanted to perform cryosurgery. He said. This time. I knew that the healing touch of a caring person could calm the nerves. only showing some pre-cancerous lesions on my cervix. To augment the balancing and dietary aspects of Macrobiotics and Oriental Medicine. but the time needed consciousness attached to it. I learned about therapeutic massage or bodywork. I knew that time was now on my side. Excessive marketing through the media has put a monetary value on something that has been taught for thousands of years for no compensation. They seemed to be more in touch with themselves. One month after the initial diagnosis of malignant cervical cancer. Usually they practiced Yoga and Tai Chi. relax the muscles. thus beginning an even deeper process of healing. keeping the focus on taking excellent care of this human body. 34 . after my pleading for more time to use a natural process of detoxification. but remarkably improved. the results were better.with graceful animation. I was convinced my cancer was in remission and that I was on the right path. the temple of God. “Jill. which meant freezing my cervix to slow the growth of the abnormal cells. However. I found another gynecologist to test me. move fluids. and open sources of emotional trauma for release. it’s still not normal. along with being more conscious about their diet. Much yoga teacher training today is quickly taught to people who have not incorporated Yoga into the larger picture of a truly Yogic Lifestyle. This doctor was not much happier with my decision to forgo standard treatment than the first had been.” That was enough of an encouraging sign for me. I had always been attracted to people who knew this art.
We sang. Carl Simonton Sometime in May of 1975. My boyfriend. He is a living example of someone who has perfected this process of getting pleasure from each breath and trusting the beauty of following the feeling of the heart. Since Mark’s mother lived in Caracas. we just need to focus and take the necessary steps to attain our goals. then it will be. a Caribbean island near Venezuela. Dutch. O. I planned not only to attend this event in Caracas. His presence in my life had turned from crucial to critical. He helped me to get through this difficult period of my life. Prem Rawat’s inspirational example pointed me deeper and deeper inward to that inner realm filled with utmost clarity. Like anything in our lives.Chapter Four: South American Journey Healing is simply attempting to do more of those things that bring joy and fewer of those things that bring pain. but it did give me the clarity and the courage I needed to pursue what I knew to be true. Venezuela. I heard that my Teacher would be speaking at a weekend event in Caracas. an infusion of unconditional love. proved once again to be transformative and full of inspiration and exhilaration. As a traveling and healing companion. Without any hesitation. Harmony and attunement to the laws of life. Love is the guide. the healer and the destination. Seeing and hearing him in person was what I really longed for. He speaks English. Once again. are the only attainments truly important in this life. gratitude and understanding of how to enjoy my life more and more. we knew that we could stay with her during the program with our teacher. Spanish. I also was reminded that through the practice of this Knowledge I could experience an unyielding strength. I didn’t want to think about anything that would take my attention from the love within and the steps I needed to take to be with that love. but also to stay on in South America to travel and to rest. beyond the facades and roles 35 . Please let me make this very clear. and I booked our flight and prepared for our journey. The weekend with Maharaji. and Yiddish. while he was also dealing with his own health issues. I couldn’t have found a better person. I’m not looking to live to be 100. If you think that something is going to be hard. Mark Bonaparte. Mark grew up in Curacao. I’m living now and enjoying each day with greater awareness. the laws of nature and the feeling of oneness within. and we made love to the feeling of who we really are. when we desire to accomplish something of great importance. This Knowledge did not heal my cancer. making this whole journey more financially feasible. we danced.
Rhea was healing from the tragic and very recent death of her four-year-old son. prepared simple food and listened curiously to sounds of the jungle. Luckily. located a couple of hours southwest of Caracas. rested. we slept outdoors using a mosquito net under the clear jungle skies. Rhea Melrose. Now we can laugh at the telling of the story of el tigre. I said. Mostly. After the weekend. Not being a mother at the time. we found a forest ranger to drive us deep within the jungle to an old abandoned coffee plantation where we could camp for a week. we spent our nights and even days just meditating together and praying. We had not brought much fresh food with us. Rhea startled me awake. I plan and hope to live to a ripe old age. Rhea’s greatest fear had come true although she tried very hard to keep her son from danger. Mark stayed on with his mom. It had become a time to breathe and absorb the bio-energetic life force around us for the purpose of healing. Meditation came easily. 36 . while he was undergoing surgery. conscious and as caring as possible. who had been born a hemophiliac and died from a fall. we found that guava and yucca grew close by. journeyed with me by public bus to Guatopo National Forest. One evening. He died within a few days of the fall. She always knew that even the slightest scrape could be life-threatening.that we play. While Cuzco was in the hospital before and after surgery. I knew then that my so-called disease would go its way in its own time. giving us the divine food sustaining us in the moment firstly within ourselves and then with this special person. but thankfully. while one of my closest friends. but at the time we were very frightened. while we explored. let alone a major concussion. It was as if time just stood still. Unless the planet goes first. We had been warned that there were jaguars and to be very alert to those sounds. “Hear what?” She said that it sounded like a big cat. The profoundly simple and undemanding days rolled by. She had stayed in my apartment after her son’s accident. I tried to be present. “Did you hear that?” Still in sleep fog. You never saw two women move so quickly to take shelter in the closest shed. Cuzco. I felt as if nature was cupping us in the palm of its hands. It was a long night. There was an innocuous guard who would come to check on us from time to time. it was impossible for me to truly understand her experience.
This precision 37 . and was teaching English in California. were used by the Incas as a secret ceremonial city. adopted two young sisters from Mexico. They were supposedly built by an ancient civilization called the Nazca. perched atop a rocky ridge high in the Andes Mountains. geometric shapes most clearly visible from the air. After this jungle journey. Most of the buildings are of solid granite blocks. By this time my strength was resurfacing slowly. At this point. with their palaces. baths. Rhea continued on alone. an ancient city south of Lima. The blocks fit together perfectly without traces of mortar. which cover nearly 400 square miles of desert. an important city of the Inca culture. we just wanted to take in as much as possible without distraction. Our first stop was Nazca. From Nazca. we were getting ready to really travel. The joints are so tight that even the thinnest of knife blades cannot be forced between the stones. Etched in the surface of the desert pampa sand about 300 hundred figures made of straight lines. The jewel of our trip was visiting Machu Picchu.At this point. Nature spoke to both of us about life and about death with every breath that we consciously took. Peru with Mark. we just rested and prayed for ourselves and others. who spoke English quite well and dazzled us with his knowledge of the history of his people. Walking through ancient ruins. doesn’t it? I traveled on to Lima. we continued hitching until we were able to get on a train to Cuzco. I began to feel more and more alive. storage rooms and some 150 houses. a 15th-century Inca stone city. who now were in high school keeping her busy as a soccer mom. back to the states. The feeling of that mystical energy from this and other regions of Peru kept me focused on the magic that I was feeling from within myself. mostly hitchhiking. Life does go on. no more than 12. soaking in mineral hot springs and sleeping in primitive dwellings. Our guide on one of the days in Cuzco was a child. invisible from below and accessible only by bus from Aguas Calientes. Feeling the intricate interrelationships of the elements of life on Earth. and taking buses and trains. temples. One of the marvels of the city is the architectural precision with which its structures were designed and built. I ran into Rhea a few years ago and found out that she had married. cut with bronze or stone tools and smoothed with sand. which is famous for mysterious lines created from stones. although none of the blocks are the same size and have multiple faces. Archaeologists believe the cloud-shrouded Machu Picchu ruins.
were easily absorbed from these sea vegetable foods. Mark and I decided to do a bit more serious hiking. The coca shrub has been cultivated since time immemorial. I even remember chewing on some coca leaves. Now remember. All along my journey. I can almost smell those cobblestone streets and thin mountain air as I recall and record my fantastic journey 31 years ago. natives chew coca leaves. One day. encouraged me to follow their example in any way I could. often absent in the typical American diet. on moving down to ordinary altitudes. sea vegetables and fruit. By witnessing these amazing structures. Seaweed provides all 56 minerals and trace elements required for the body’s physiological functions in quantities greatly exceeding those of land plants. I needed perhaps to see a bigger picture through the history of man in order to become more humble and accrue the confidence I needed to be patient with my own life and its processes. many of them give up their coca without apparent hardship. Nor do the Andean leaf-chewers appear to become addicted. I maintained a simple organic vegetarian macrobiotic diet. they have managed through the centuries to survive the rigors of an incredibly harsh mountain environment. we are already 8. Far from suffering disaster. legumes (beans). As with each moment of our lives. my eyes fixated even more on the people than the ancient structures. as no doubt they had chewed them before the days of the Incas. and they were delicious as well.000 or more feet up and the air was very thin. I was witnessing my own transformation by reshaping my appreciation. called Quechuan. The native people. I knew that I needed to maintain the highest level of nutrition in order to retain my energy. fresh vegetables.impressed and inspired me. To see the manner in which they live. beginning to call forth a profound sense of gratitude and creating a template that would form the basis of how I would live from that moment on. are the descendants of the original Inca people. Throughout this unique trip. which consisted of whole grains. it’s easy to realize that life is not just one dimensional and the healing that was happening in my life was taking shape on many levels. to the continuing amazement of visitors. Important trace minerals. so close to the earth. and as they continue to chew them today. I chewed on ginseng root during that entire day. raw nuts and seeds. 38 .
but looked more like thirty-five. still resonates worldwide. I had the opportunity to travel with Swami Satchidananda. toward the end of this healing journey. The Reverend Sri Swami Satchidananda. I soaked in a hot mineral mud bath with him. It could have been my body’s readiness to shed the final toxicity of the disease. The next day. staying in their beautiful large home and enjoying the typical Peruvian lifestyle and lush surroundings. His message of peace. In the beginning of Swami’s tour in Valencia. It could have been the mud and the heat that drew poisons out of my body. one of the most respected Yoga Masters of our time. colleges. we then returned to Lima to fly back to Venezuela. A very dedicated teacher. whom we had met in Lima. The circumstances presented an opportunity to allow the body to finally heal without the use of 39 . We said our goodbyes and returned to our accommodations with some friends in another town a couple of hours away. which can easily occur during any detoxification process. introduced us to his family in Arequipa surrounded by volcanoes with a climate of eternal spring. Venezuela. By later that evening I broke out a high fever and a vile rash all over my body. the founder of Integral Yoga. medical groups. and houses of worship around the globe. who treated Winston Churchill and many others using herbs and foot baths. he received hundreds of invitations to speak at conferences. I was amazed at how youthful he appeared at the time. My health appeared good considering that the rugged traveling was a bit taxing. remains well known for his combination of practical wisdom and spiritual insight. Mark and I had been reading about the famous French herbalist Maurice Mességué. In Valencia. Our journey was now approaching its final chapter. one evening I performed on my guitar and sang a devotional Hindu song.While in Peru. and a much-loved teacher. giggling and playing like children. Mark and I also visited and stayed with some other devotees of our Teacher. Continuing on to a few other Peruvian cities. Victor Tallevera. both individual and universal. Mark placed fresh chopped garlic on the bottom of my feet to draw out the fever and prepared some chamomile tea straight from the garden to soak my feet in. He was sixty-five. We most definitely enjoyed our time with Victor’s family. By the next day the fever had broken and the rash subsided. This had been a serious healing crisis.
inhibitors. Those memories are still vivid in my mind as well as his. this doctor did not show any interest in how my body could change. The smartest thing that I did during this time was not to tell too many people. 15 years later. I few years ago. mentioning that he had just lost a patient to cervical cancer who was 28. Many years later. I don’t think I could have had a better friend to see me through that challenge. FL. the man who delivered my son. we had completely run out of money and we were ready to return home to Miami. actually threw me out of his office while screaming at me. Mark and I went our separate ways shortly after our adventure in South America. Mark. We are friends and still have contact to this day. You don’t need a cheering section. “What cancer?” I had forgotten that I never told her about way back then. After a few days. especially family. showed any interest in my story. I have had check ups. 40 . Since that time. Aaron. I am so grateful for his support during that difficult time in my life. Sad to say. while they were doing some networking in Hollywood. and only one doctor. I was most definitely thrilled and relieved at the same time. met my son. One doctor. many times with different doctors. when I mentioned to my mother that I was going to write a book about how I healed myself of cancer. such as drugs. and how dare I tell him such a thing. And the timing was perfect. He found that the Pap test results were completely normal. I felt incredible. I made an appointment with the second gynecologist. about my cancer. I didn’t want other people’s fears to blind me from going in the direction which made the most common sense to me. Anxious to know the score. just one good friend. she said.
Our little community of devotees was growing and changing all the time. to my work in the world and to my grateful involvement with a great awareness and appreciation of the preciousness of this life. Before long we moved in together on a boat that he was living on in Fort Lauderdale. Knowledge . and still doesn’t. Robert Pollok While pleased with my success. One evening I noticed a young fellow who had just moved to Miami from Buffalo. Certainly. by this time and even studying formally with Michio and Aveline Kushi. The teachings were basic and there was no way 41 . we also were very much into health and healing. It seemed that many of my acquaintances were also learning about massage. colon cleansing and other alternative modalities as well. I would face a lifetime of potential cancers or other dis-eases that could manifest in this fragile human body. illness is a harsh but crystalline reality. maybe I no longer needed the cancer. very inspired by Mitchell. I became He didn’t let anything get in the way of his practice of the Mitchell and I began to spend some time together. Besides enjoying Maharaji and his teachings. originally from Brooklyn. We were reading books like Back to Eden by Jethro Kloss and other interesting writers such as Professor Arnold Ehret. These teachers were all in agreement that many diseases were the result of the uncleanness of the bowels. Since I had accomplished so much from this cancer. New York. I also knew that the challenge was certainly not over. I was adhering to an excellent Macrobiotic diet. juice fasting. Perhaps I needed to learn something from having this cancer and once learned. an inability to properly eliminate and its spreading the toxicity to other organs. and Paavo Airola. I went back to a life that I would create. Many of us would meet each evening for an hour to remind each other of the importance of practicing what we had been shown. Dr. endocrine and circulatory systems. I strongly believe that we bring into our lives situations that allow us to both learn and move on. Norman Walker. lessons that would remain with me for life. I could now go out and truly live this life to the fullest — without the fear of disease — or even death. the founders of this philosophical. Mitchell Schneider.Chapter Five: My Miracle Child Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven. had also been involved with Maharaji for three or four years and seemed to really be enjoying his experience with the Knowledge. or not learn and get stuck. spiritual and dietary movement that incorporat ed a Macrobiotic lifestyle.
get married or not. and. When I was four months pregnant. I was thirty-two years old and knew that this was the opportunity I had been waiting for all of my life. “If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise. It still amazes me that medical doctors are not taught anything about nutrition and how to detox the body naturally in their schools. It was a lovely wedding for a hundred of my friends and relatives. Mitchell. I sang a love song that I had written for the occasion. most relevant…what it really meant to bring life into this world. (I didn’t think about it way back then. then twenty-five. Mitchell and I did marry when I was eight months pregnant. As my human body became even more important than ever. with a great vegetarian feast at a friend’s beautiful home in Miami. two and a half years after they wanted to give me a hysterectomy . Mitchell and I were struggling on many different levels: money.00. But here I was. questions about whether we would stay together. I became pregnant. I must admit that we got through the whole thing pretty graciously. We both went barefoot. Mitchell was working in concert production and we attended many concerts during that time. I prepared myself during those precious nine months of my pregnancy. Looking back. I was completely elated on most levels. just a bit nervous about the unsure feelings about our relationship that were being generated. the Father of Modern Medicine.to argue their validity. not too little and not too much.” A short six months into Mitchell’s and my new relationship. and about our families’ eventual reaction. carrying the child of a man whom I had technically just met. These teachings were taught by Hippocrates. I ate the best possible vegetarian foods for mothers-tobe. we would have found the safest way to health. He had just come from living a celibate life in an ashram. understandably . 42 . My parents got off easy — the entire party for these 100 people cost them $350. but I evened out a little debt from that Volkswagen Beetle I had lost money on in the Virgin Islands in 1973). I wore a lovely tiered gauze white cotton dress and Mitchell wore a simple Chinese qi (Tai Chi outfit). He said. found out how to take care of my breasts so that breastfeeding would be as natural as possible. didn’t have the same joyful reaction. and learned how to keep my emotions in check and my head screwed on right. but had long been forgotten or ignored. I felt my child move for the first time while at a Little River Band Concert in Miami.
Aaron was the brother of Moses. the fever went down. looked down on this creature who was a gift given to me by the Creator and just listened to my own intuitive feelings about how I would raise my son. three months. I treated my son with great respect. took a breath. Since I did not want to give my son any antibiotics.” We immediately moved his bed. I prepared to birth him at home with a midwife. “Where is Aaron sleeping?” I said. “In my bedroom next to my bed. They did great with my birthing emergency. The doctor was held up in rush hour traffic for two hours. two weeks. The house was part of a grove of fruit trees. a Russian man who taught Russian at Miami Beach High School. my uterus shattered. To me. I loved that name. I was rushed to Mercy Hospital in Coconut Grove. And since in the Jewish religion we use the first letter of someone in our family who has passed to name our children. he had his first fever. I kept my distance from Western medical doctors. Igor. I ended up with a C-section and it took the doctor an hour and a half to sew me up.. Aaron. came out perfect — that was all that mattered. make lots of milk and nurse on demand. I immediately called Lou Smith. I had been an observer of animals for many years and knew instinctivel y that most new mothers just clean up the young ones. he was my teacher. felt. Thank God my son. which was basically furnished with two futons on the floor. for sure. looked at. As though he was an ancient evolved and realized being. Abraham. etc. Aaron was also named for my grandfather. 43 . The Jamaican nurse who cared for me in the hospital told me that the particular shape of my son’s head meant he was a very old soul. “Aaron is being disturbed by pipes with continuous running water under the area where he was sleeping. smelled and completely immersed myself in this baby and his needs. a medium and a psychic healer. stood before me with his thick gray hair standing on end and his face turning white after hearing the story about the psychic’s diagnosis. I gladly put them aside. After I read some books about only nursing the baby on a prescribed schedule. and what to expect your baby to do at one week. What does a good student do when a teacher stands before her or him? I was all ears. Lou commented. gave him a tepid bath and then. It’s called Zone Irritation. The next day I asked our landlord what was under that particular area of the bedroom. which is where they really shine. closed my eyes.Aaron’s birth was eventful. Lou asked me. I listened. and I almost died. My landlord Igor said that there are pipes with continuous running water that have to do with the irrigation system for the grove. did some color energy healing on him.” We had a bedroom. Once. when Aaron was nine months old. but because of last minute complications.
After that I forged all the paperwork. finding people who would let me stay on their land. I only gave him the first set of vaccinations since we were traveling to Colombia. I never left him with anyone except my parents or very responsible good friends for short times until he was about three or four. heard about a Jewish girl singing gospel songs in the 44 . Thankfully. I also take some credit for that. when he was almost two. South America. when there was no work. healthy treats and treating their illness using energy healing. I don’t regret doing that at all. not that I even know exactly what they really means. when my son was three. then it is very likely that they will grow up being healthy and strong. essential oils and herbs. A custodian in a local school where I was substitute teacher came to my rescue during the summer months. I only took him to a doctor once. So. I made my own baby food from vegetables that I had steamed and fruit that I blended. living in a 17-foot travel trailer. Gainesville is the home of the University of Florida and had always been surrounded by countryside. we made a commitment to raising our son by living close by each other and sharing in his upbringing. In 1980. Basically I have been blessed with a healthy kid. so that he never had up the follow-up immunizations . I don’t think that Mitchell ever really got over the shock of me getting pregnant just six months after we met. His first food was my milk and then homemade brown rice cream. Florida. I never got used to being with another person so intensely and having to be dependent on him financially for those few years.Aaron was raised mostly as a Macrobiotic vegetarian. food as medicine. It was at that time that Bo Diddley. I traipsed around the outskirts of Gainesville. since I was very careful in how he was raised. If you start with children immediately giving them organic foods. about six hours northwest of Miami. after four and a half years of being together. He did have some yearly checkups for school and camp. since there is much controversy over these immunizations. when he sprained his ankle at 16. cool springs and rivers. I was very wary of anything unnatural. I allowed him to suckle at my breast up until he was four years old. Aaron never had a cavity or ear infection and was never absent from school for illness. the 1950’s rock n’ roll legend. I admit that our marriage was not a solid one. such as the mercury found in them and a possible connection to the high rise in autism. Mitchell and I decided to move to Gainesville. Intuitively. we separated and divorced.
(Pic of Bo and me in his studio 2004) Bo Diddley was actually one of my first Barefoot Shiatsu clients. so it’s interesting that here I was in Gainesville. Bo helped me a great deal with my music. Some of the songs on the CD at the back of this book were written during this time of my life. I never turned him down. “How are you doing. He would call all the little ones together when he saw me sitting out with my guitar. he pulled my trailer onto his back forty and gave me a job taking care of his entire family. A mutual friend brought me to meet Bo. I just graduated college 45 . One day. he wanted to make sure that wouldn’t happen to me. who had been taken care of by an African American woman most of her childhood. and to this day. Aaron (age 22) and I got to go backstage and spend some time with him before he went on stage. It was over in a flash. From Grandma to the great grandkids. both from doing the work and from feeling the energy coming through me. “You don’t talk to your Momma like that!” That was it. Florida in 1983. Bo overheard my son screaming at me and did not hesitate to help me out. Bo looked down at this little uncontrollable child and said loud and clear. The barefoot work enabled my small frame to become very powerful. In 2000. Bo. Aaron?” Aaron said. after ten years or so. when Aaron was four. while attending a Blues Festival in Fort Lauderdale. After a weekend gig. He said. the man who created rock n’ roll. I took the best care that could of his family. He was very excited to see Aaron. He told me just to watch out for the rattle snakes and within a week had bought me a car at the junkyard for $300. He encouraged me to copyright all of my material. where Bo was the headliner. eight years after healing myself of cancer. Bo was in his mid 50’s at the time and his broad frame needed the really deep bodywork. Bo. would you mash on my back?” Of course. Don’t you just love the image of a New York Jewish princess. I mashed on him really good. He appreciated my songs. How excited do you think I was? After Bo and I met and he heard my predicament . Thank you. he would fall down at my feet asking. He also helped me a great deal with my son. I have never had my son talk back to me so disrespectfully as that day when he was four. working for Bo Diddley. especially my work with children. thank you. “Great. I had idolized this man. now taking care of this very unique family of a world famous entertainer? When I was a young teenager.Pentecostal church up the road. members of the band and all. Having been ripped off of royalties due to him over the years. “Jill.
” (No doubt he was referring to that time when four-year-old Aaron had a hissy fit. Taylor. Aaron. I like the idea of home schooling. he loves us both equally and the divorce. Mrs. was not the most horrible thing to happen to him.) Aaron and I left Gainesville after the summer of 1982 to return to South Florida. Today’s world is different than it was 25 years ago. I remember his first day of kindergarten at Highland Lakes Elementary School in North Miami Beach. We both went on in our lives to have other relationships that Aaron was wholly a part of. As a former public school teacher. If anything. “You know. Taylor and all the many good teachers he had over the years in public school. and simultaneously moved back to South Florida. I praise the system when it really serves the children. where I put Aaron into school. his life was enriched by these men and women who loved him very much. With his apparent confidence. My ex-husband Mitchell and I had both stayed in the Gainesville area for a year after the divorce. He was ready.” Bo said. When Aaron received his MBA from Florida Atlantic University in 2002. Thank you so much Mrs. his teacher. He walked in almost as though he owned the place.and I’ve got a really good job. I wasn’t sure about you for a while. although difficult. I had waited an extra year after the divorce to make sure he was doing well and was a bit older than necessary for starting school. as long as there are parents willing to work together on it. To this day. “I can’t believe that I’m sitting between Mitchell’s two ex-wives” and “we are all having a great time celebrating my grandson’s graduation!” 46 . Fortunately. Aaron went between us until his was seventeen. was a lovely African American woman who immediately made him her pet. he was ready to conquer the world. my mother commented after the ceremony. where we lived no more than forty minutes from each other.
U. or at least had ADHD for many years. a woman handed me her business card. where I continued to learn more about the science of massage. This type of massage is done with the whole body. It does.Chapter 6: Making Stuff Up Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Edison Many years ago. My formal bodywork training began in 1981. a well-known martial artist in Northern Florida.” I continue to do the massage therapy component of my juice fasting program along with private local clients in the area where I live. M. when I studied an authentic form of Japanese Barefoot Shiatsu with my friend and neighbor. brilliant and commonsensical humans walking the planet. ” I laughed my head off and I took it to heart. Ralph Ashodian. He takes each moment of life so seriously that millions of ideas cross his path in a split second. Thomas A. as his massage therapist while he was filming “The Birdcage”. I’m small and well-balanced from doing Yoga.” I felt grateful to be doing something that I loved and getting paid for it. It said her name and then the letters. “Making stuff up. I looked and thought about it. I loved massage school. I used to quote Coco Chanel’s saying. “You can never be too thin or too rich”…and I added … “or get too many massages. especially because we would give and get a massage almost every day. We should all take lessons from Robin. My clients for many years were mostly little older Jewish women who would comment on my “goldena hanz. after returning to South Florida. demonstrating traditional Barefoot Shiatsu Massage. Then. “What does MSU mean I said to her”. In 2003. I thought that I was crazy. I have had tendonitis and back problems on occasion throughout my career of 24 years. however. keep me in good shape. until I actually got to meet and spend time with Robin Williams. I was a featured presenter at the Morikami Japanese Museum in Delray Beach.S. undoubtedly one of the most successful. having never seen those initials that represent a type of degree of some kind. Massage is a very physically demanding profession. I can really do the deep work. 47 . I also attended and graduated Educating Hands School of Massage. and blessed with my tiny frame. she replied. I try to pace myself in order to not overspend my energy.
which I still use to balance myself. I realized that the deep divisions and negative changes in our culture began to happen when children lost their relationships with their grandparents. distance or other reasons. confidence and credibility in my work. Both groups have been harmed by this shift in societal and cultural movement. I am going to open up this mat and my client will lay down on it. “Then. A little old Jewish man looked at me and stopped. and volunteers. community centers. For elderly people living in such an unbalanced environment of seeing only other elderly sick persons.” At this point. On the weekends I would take Aaron with me to help me pass out little instruments and wheel people in their wheelchairs down to the activity room.” The biggest smile came across his face as he said. And all of this activity was inspired by Chair Yoga and Music Programs and a little boy who wasn’t old enough to go to school yet. He loved to come with me. I began to see a common thread running through both sectors of our society. 48 . reflecting his growing interest in what I was telling him. basically anyone who wanted to bring the children and elderly together. giving me more knowledge. I said. either through divorce. his eyes were huge. A neighborhood newspaper ran a story about us. Then I will balance myself with this walker and step on my client for about an hour. my client will pay me for the work. “Actually. which landed on the right desk at the local state university. At least twice or three times per week I also played and sang with my guitar in nursing homes. when the treatment is completed. Mostly it seemed that children had lost an ally through the grandparent/child relationship and grandparents lost their role as elders. I was in charge of developing training sessions for teachers. carrying my mat and an orthopedi c walker.A few years ago. “Vat are you going to do? Hit somebody vid that?” (Pointing to the walker). mostly because he got so much kind and loving attention. students. to witness a small child with a smiling face is truly a blessing. The attention brought me into the university world of the Southeast Florida Center on Aging. and nursing homes. My goal was to connect the young with the old and the old with the young by creating social programs in schools. He said. “Vud you believe how you can make a living these days?” I eventually graduated from the Educating Hands School of Massage I became licensed in massage in Florida in 1987. activity directors in nursing homes. I continued. I was walking up the steps of a clinic where I was working. I chose songs from the 1930’s and 40’s — especially love songs — which I knew everyone loved and would sing along with me. as the Director of Intergenerational Programming.
Although funding ran out after a couple of years in the intergenerational field. I have seen Alzheimer’s residents who do not talk. don’t we ever realize that we are possibly going extinct as well? 49 . My most special moments were my shows for those with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. but it was very hard and not very fulfilling. Annie Sunbeam. Program Director of the Heartland Health Care Center in Boynton Beach. I recorded many demos of my original songs about the Earth. The purple cowgirl hat. I am probably in many home videos. I had done some substitute teaching over the years. Within a few months. I created a character. Since the guitar. Music seems to be the only media that truly affects them. I enjoyed the smiles on their face when they saw that I could fulfill my promise. I promised the teachers that I would have the children all in their seats after the dance. when put in a musical program such as Jill’s. dancing and teaching the children how to play along with me. Alzheimer’s is a disease that robs people of so many skills. Most children are really concerned about the environment. “The Mother Earth Blues” came out of a performance with an 8th grade science class. The health of this planet is a complete reflection of our own health. They were upbeat and ranged from toe tapping to soul searching sounds. they begin to sing. while “The Garbage Song” is catchy and has a great beat. wrote me a recommendation saying: “We have been blessed this year with the performances of Jill Schneider. I couldn’t help but create a dance to go with it. Nancy Weis. Her choice of songs was wonderful. Jill’s wonderful voice along with her compassionate personality won the hearts of all the residents that were privileged to be in the room when she entertained. We hope that Jill will continue her work as she is gifted and blessed with talent and the ability to relate to the elderly population in a very special way. As we watch and hear about the extinction of so many creatures. a theme and did some marketing to get myself known in the community. I continued working in nursing homes as a musician. When performing in the schools in front of any audience of about 300 children. becoming my back-up band. the Cosmic Cowgirl. Florida. I knew I needed to get back to working with kids. guitar and embroidered vest still hang close to my heart. was created out of my need to continue to work with children. songs and my love for young children was a given. Her singing and guitar playing was not only entertaining but therapeutic to our residents. Always piecing together a living that meant something to me. singing. but didn’t want to teach full time. I had become the singing cowgirl for party entertainment.
I met some very interesting women from Texas during my many years at Rio Caliente. While I was in Texas. and the Texas Hill Country. I stayed with my folks for a few weeks. I must admit that being flexible has always worked magic in my life. It was a great feeling of accomplishment. In 1995. Texas. hiking in the hills. I didn’t know what a real job was. he managed to get himself a full academic scholarship and a job at the university to pay for housing and food. At one point he said. doing massage therapy. I left South Florida for Austin. In 1997. Soon enough. since I had gone to Texas to write and now on the return. Aaron was living with his Dad and just starting community college. just as I was leaving Texas to come back to South Florida. a year later in 1998. after community college. I published a similar article in Ariel Ford’s More Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul. my son. was attending Barry University in Miami. I worked in Mexico for six weeks each year. When I first arrived in Texas. since the movie had just come out. musician and healer for many years. riding horses and playing my guitar. taking people on hikes in the Sierra Madre Mountains.Aren’t all these chronic diseases that have ballooned out of control over the past fifty years an indication of that extinction? From 1991 to 1996. I spent two years writing. Aaron. 50 . I wonder why? Using my nippy survival skills and ingenuity. doing water aerobics and performing my Barefoot Shiatsu bodywork. he became more so. He has always been very independent and since I had left Florida for that two year period. I published an article entitled “Facing Cancer on My Own” in Natural Health Magazine. but when I tried to promote parties in Austin. while in transition and getting settled. I assumed that Annie Sunbeam parties and school concerts would be a way that I could make some money. where my elderly parents had been living for many years. I fell in love with hot springs and their healing benefits. as an Activity Director at the Rio Caliente Spa and Ranch — teaching Yoga. “Can’t you get a real job?” I had been a teacher. My Dad saw me struggling to get my massage and music business off the ground. sewed up a doe-skinned outfit and became Pocahontas. an article documented that goal. no one was interested in a singing cowgirl. I quickly let my long hair down. I moved to Delray Beach. Back in South Florida.
So. there are no guarantees. Instead of buying a bed. I slept (carefully) on my massage table for the next year and a half. not wanting to live too high.In the massage/music/yoga/freelance business. 51 . You can’t move around much when you just have a few inches on either side of you and more than that between the table and the cold tile floor. I used that room as an office as well. I found myself a little one-room rear cottage next to a lovely pool and just about a mile from the ocean.
460-377 B. I was not wrong in this thinking. I offer 6-day immersion juice fasts. Florida. Headaches. which led to the gifts of unimaginable strength and clarity. So. 52 . Raw Food Educator and Juice Fasting Coach. In less than a month from the time of my cancer diagnosis in 1975. I created my own company called Circle of Life Holistic Programs. One of my clients.Chapter Seven: Being Grateful for Cancer A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings. They stay at a lovely hotel apartment close to the ocean in Delray Beach. I just knew that everything was and would be perfect and that this experience was going to teach me a significant lesson for my whole life. Usually the first day. I have been given much more than I ever could have imagined . Hippocrates.C. but for me. “Jill is the roommate who won’t leave. In my own way. in a hot spring resort near Guadalajara. As I look back over the past 30 years of my life. It’s true though. c. I designed a one-on-one personal health detoxification program. body and spirit. My clients come from all over the world. It’s a process of unwinding. it’s nice to know that someone who has experience with overseeing clients who are fasting is there to make you feel more comfortable and safe in the process. or they fly me to their favorite retreat locations. tea and broth to drink. My well-attended personal and group retreats attest to that. In 2000. Mexico. taking a walk by the ocean and accepting a long massage. Combining my skills as a Licensed Massage Therapist. a dentist from Detroit. Deep within myself. I followed the deepest part of myself. in San Diego at Casa de Mirabeau. down-to-Earth suggestions on creating a balance between the mind. Yoga Teacher. perspective and mostly some very practical . getting unlimited fresh juice. Thanking God for cancer? I know that can be very insulting to those of you who have lost loved ones to this dreaded disease. my client is just settling in. and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses. I am very attentive and want my clients to feel really secure with their fast. I actually considered thanking God for this cancer. described me to his wife. I share my experience with others attempting to give some insight.” Of course he told me this and made me really laugh. weakness and even nausea can be part of the process. this diagnosis changed my life and that is why I thanked God. I live my life with gratitude for this opportunity of having a human body.
whether it is from divorce. 40’s and 50’s. So what can we do to function at a level which will enable us to get it all done without falling apart? These are some of the issues that my clients want to work on while they are resting and rehabilitating. working with people who just want the support and encouragement as they go through a juice fast in their own home. Being hungry is primal and will bring up fears. Once we quiet down the mind (or at least ignore it). stay present in the moment and feel intuitively what one needs to prepare to pursue in the future. When you are not thinking about the mundane existence of each day. From fasting on a physical level. also comes the fast of the mind. 53 . And yet. People are running on empty in so many different aspects of their lives. They own homes. Just to know that we will talk each day at a certain time gives the individual a secure nurturing feeling that they can do it. Fasting is not as difficult as you think. or kids still in the nest. I focus on those physical aspects first through massage and deep relaxation. fresh organic juices and other nutritional liquids. have raised healthy and intelligent kids and are living the American dream. leaving a job and thinking about going into a new profession. What I have noticed is that one needs rest.The process covers many aspects. have good jobs. From 12 hour work days to mothering. dehydrated and malnourished. they come to me exhausted. even through some natural detoxification discomforts. My phone consultation work has been an interesting addition to my program. quiet and reflection time to look over the past. you become freed up to explore and to answer some deeper questions about existence. fasting will raise issues that you haven’t thought about in many years. Slowing down. while immersing oneself in nature. kids leaving the nest. etc. it’s always a good idea to work with these feelings as they arise. does help one gain new perspectives and philosophies relevant to shifting into a better way of living in harmony and balance. aromatherapy baths and colon hydrotherapy. Emotionally and spiritually. My clients are well-respected professionals mostly in their 30’s. your body and your mind go through some interesting changes. we will discover on our own what we really want and need to be content. fathering and taking care of elderly parents…our lives are not our own. Many have retreated with me during certain transitions in their life. walking by the sea. So. even for just a few days. What I have learned about restoring health is very basic. As you fast.
get treatments. counseling.Over the years.with each individual who comes to stay. Thanking God for the cancer might sound really strange to people. ocean swims. I have fasted every year for past 25 years. sand scrubs. I have been greatly impressed with the ability of the body to alter and adjust itself into greater balance and harmony. a bastion of fear. minds and spirits the opportunity to realign and rejuvenate. and even chew them a hundred times until they become liquid in your mouth. support and time. and nothing less. one that brings out the best and sometimes the worst in all of us. nuts. herbs for cleansing and detoxification. during which people from all over the world come to rest. I spend 8 hours per day preparing the delicious juices. Along with enemas. seeds. and juices. but if you still have an inkling of anger. but could also turn into a poison that would kill you. It’s always an amazing transformation that I witness and hopefully one that will stay with these people forever. doing the massage. water exercise. all that good healthful stuff not only goes to waste. I have witnessed personally the amazing results of healing. During those juice fasts and even a couple of water fasts. I still thank God for all the imbalances I have encountered in my life and for all I have learned from them. It’s very personal work. Remember that you can eat the best home-grown. I believe thoroughly in the power of love and in the inherent ability of the human body to heal itself when given the best nourishment. organic vegetables. reflect and allow their bodies. juice. I have created a comfortable retreat on the ocean. mostly because of the fear that they have of this disease. teaching yoga. mud packs. or a box-load of resentment. rest and meditation . colonic irrigation. castor oil packs and whatever . 54 . I treated my cancer just as an imbalance. rest. I knew that I had to act immediately to correct this imbalance and did so using natural means. massage. nothing more. fruits. grains.
It’s only about unconditional love.D. when I was 46.D. As Aaron grew from an infant into his childhood. It was a healthy pregnancy. I was able to get pregnant and give birth to my son two and a half years later. By deciding not to follow the advice of Allopathic Medicine to have a hysterectomy in 1975. Christiane Northrup. I would go for occasional check-ups with a gynecologist to make sure that everything was in working order. Although I used Eastern Medicine to heal the cancer. Aaron is and always will be the light of my life. she asks women to ponder the following questions: 55 . Lots of toxins left my body. When he smiled or just looked into my eyes. Western Medicine serves as a helpful diagnosis. the size of a large lemon. Job done. Christiane Northrup. As a practicing physician for over 20 years. I accepted the perfection of the moment. That has never changed. In 1991. Over the years. A lemon to a thumbnail. but a long and difficult labor. not to the ever-changing parenting theories wreaking havoc on each generation. Women’s Wisdom. I protected him from the theoretical world as much as I could. I created an environment that enabled him to still stay connected to the inner world he had come from. obstetrician/ gynecologist is internationally known for her visionary. I was informed that the only thing they could see was about the size of my thumbnail. How many avenues from the center of town do we have to travel away from? Over the years. in my uterus. and still not getting it right. M. Without making a big deal about it. I just went shopping for a carload of fresh vegetables and immediately began a two-week fruit and vegetable juice fast. Northrup is a leading proponent of medicine and healing that acknowledges the unity of the mind and body. 1977. Dr. The juice fast went well. He finally arrived by C-section on November 17. which I was told would have been the solution to my cancer problem. After those daily enemas and a couple of high colonic irrigation treatments. as well as the powerful role of the human spirit in creating health. I listened to him. empowering approach to women’s health and wellness. I went back for a sonogram.Chapter Eight: Keeping My Hysteria The number of hysterectomies won’t change significantly until women change their beliefs about their pelvic organs. In her book Women’s Bodies. M. the doctor found a fibroid tumor.
this surgery is still performed too often when other options are available. but I’m pleased to report that since then the number has declined. the uterus does. and not well educated about that organ. Because our thoughts affect our bodies. and its removal is not advisable unless absolutely necessary. hysterectomy is the second most commonly performed major surgical operation in the United States. according to the U. 1994 56 . after caesarian section. The general patriarchal tone of this training is that if such a woman were more sophisticated. Northrup gives us some interesting facts and figures on this topic as well: “This undervaluing of the uterus by doctors and the public alike contributes to the fact that. Dr. Although the hysterectomy rate appears to have gone down since 1985. 2 Christiane Northrup. More than one in four American women will have a hysterectomy by the time they are 60 years old. New York. her medical team may view her as overly emotional or sentimental. Centers for Disease Control (CDC). seem to play a role in hormonal regulation. The number of hysterectomies performed peaked in 1985. a bit superstitious. Bantam Books.000 operations were reported. What would it be like if you reclaimed the wisdom of your body and learned to trust its messages? What would your life be like if you no longer lived in fear of “germs” or cancer? How would your life be different if your body were your friend and ally? How would your life be different if you learned how to respect your body as though it were a precious creation — as valuable as a beloved friend or child? How would you treat yourself differently? In writing about the uterus. But. the negative messages about the uterus that are reflected in the current statistics and which we internalize over a lifetime is associated with a large number of problems that women experience in this area.” 2 What is a Hysterectomy? Hysterectomy — a surgical procedure to remove a woman’s uterus — is major surgery. MD. in fact.” Dr. Even today. Northrup notes: “The possibility that the uterus might have any function other than childbearing or tumor production has not been adequately addressed in conventional ob-gyn training. when 724. she would know that the uterus is useless to her except for childbearing. Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom. if a woman has a reproductive illness but wants to keep her uterus even though she has no interest in childbearing. The number of hysterectomies won’t change significantly until women change their beliefs about their pelvic organs.S.
joint and muscle pain and immobility loss of sexual desire. up to half are prompted by uterine fibroids. causing pain and discomfort * invasive cervical cancer * colon or bladder cancer that has spread to the uterus * uncontrollable bleeding after childbirth 3 HERS is an independent.org 57 .There are several medical conditions that can be effectively treated or cured with a hysterectomy. Here are some facts from their website www. arousal. international organization dedicated to the issue of hysterectomy and advocates for fully informed medical choices by women. NJ 2004 www. also known as “non-cancerous tumors. Other reasons to have a hysterectomy include: * endometrial hyperplasia with atypia (an overgrowth of the uterine lining that contains precancerous changes in the cells) * cancer of the uterus.000 hysterectomies performed each year in the United States.com .hersfoundation. frequency. bowel. incontinence chronic constipation and digestive disorders profound fatigue chronic exhaustion altered body odor 3 National Women’s Health Resource Center. FACT: Women experience a loss of physical sexual sensation as a result of hysterectomy. FACT: Hysterectomy ’s damage is life-long.healthywomen. ovary or fallopian tube * genital prolapse (when the ligaments that support pelvic structures weaken) * endometriosis – a condition in which tissue from the uterine lining migrates and adheres to tissue in other parts of the body. and other pelvic organs urinary tract infections. Redbank. sensation painful intercourse.” Hysterectomies are also used as a treatment for endometriosis and to stop abnormal uterine bleeding. Among its most common consequences. vaginal damage displacement of bladder. scarred and dislocated by hysterectomy. Of the approximately 600. in addition to operative injuries are: heart disease osteoporosis bone. FACT: A woman’s vagina is shortened.
but rather on the protocols set up to protect the doctor’s liability. in terms of the requirements to stay in their profession. It will take a lifetime of living in harmony with the needs of this human frame to attain the confidence you will need to fight back against this corrupt medical system run by pharmaceutical. What is this unwavering faith in the white coat and complete fear and loathing of our own bodies? Once we accept and understand that we play a major part in the mental creation and physical manifestation of our diseases. most sincere doctors. FACT: The medical term for the removal of the ovaries is castration. Most women are castrated at hysterectomy. they did not need hysterectomies. personality changes. loss of short-term memory blunting of emotions. you need to. FACT: The uterus and ovaries function throughout life in women who have not been hysterectomized or castrated. in fact. I truly hope that this information shocks you. When we are faced with an emergency situation . The loss is permanent. FACT: Gynecologists. And in some cases. insurance companies and complacent medical practitioners. they have much to contend with. Even if they are the best. perhaps we will manifest power over this nightmare. FACT: 98% of women HERS has referred to board-certified gynecologists after being told they needed hysterectomies discovered that. then. if you have been taking care of this human body’s needs. hospitals and drug companies make more than 8 billion dollars a year from the business of hysterectomy and castration. we become so frightened and will do whatever they say. anger. that is a different story. despondency. 58 . reclusiveness and suicidal thinking FACT: No drugs or other treatments can replace ovarian or uterine hormones or functions. then you won’t have to put yourself in the hands of a system that is not based on truth. For emergencies. God Bless them and God Bless hospitals. FACT: Twice as many women in their 20’s and 30’s are hysterectomized as women in their 50’s and 60’s. irritability. However. I recommend prevention above and beyond all methods of healing.
Leonardo da Vinci I have been juice fasting for preventive health reasons over the past 25 years. author of the Mucusless Diet Healing System. in an article published in Natural Health Magazine.Chapter Nine: Juice Fasting Beauty and vitality are gifts from nature for those who live by her laws. which is the most toxic organ of the body. Fasting is one of the oldest forms of healing known to man. You can read about my healing at www. broth and herbal teas are always recommended by all medical professionals to make sure the body is getting vitamins. Had I known about juice fasting at that time. Even vegetarians. at the age of 29.D. to prevent the possibility of disease and all that that will incur..net/NaturalHealth. We all need to fast if we want any measure of decent health and. breathing very deeply. I also quit my stressful job and went hiking and traveling in Peru.html . In 1975.circle -oflife. learning yoga. minerals and staying hydrated. At the time. juice. 59 . Liquids. After reading books by Dr. the malignant cancer went into remission. alcohol drinker. meditating and having acupuncture and herbal remedies with a Chinese Acupuncturist. along with distilled or purified water. I was given the diagnosis of having malignant cervical cancer. I embarked on a bi-yearly program of cleansing my body. Norman Walker. you need to fast. I had a perfectly healthy child two and a half years later. I would definitely have incorporated it into my healing plan. eating very simple light vegetarian food. need to fast. mind and spirit with a week or two of fresh fruit and vegetable juices. who lived past 100 and the great Professor Arnold Ehret. certainly. greasy fast food or even a cooked food eater. I believe that you can trace most physical disease back to the colon and digestive/eliminative tract. sugar. gets the most benefit from a fast. affecting so many of the other organs. If you have ever been a meat. but I did make some very serious changes in my life. surgery or any allopathic procedures. while the body works on fighting off viruses and bacteria. The purpose of any kind of fasting is to cleanse and detox the body from the inside out. herbal tea and broth made from vegetables. Four months later. who tend to still eat plenty of cooked and devitalized foods. I didn’t know about fasting. How often have we watched our own bodies refrain from eating while we are not feeling well with a cold or flu? Small children and even our pets refrain from taking food and allow their bodies to rest while in a toxic condition. The colon. I used absolutely no medicine. I have been guided to learn as much as possible about healing. white flour. Because of the cancer. N. such as water.
they should fast under a doctor’s supervision and care. as suggested by some water fast proponents” For most people. in his book. was translated into English by Edmond Bordeaux Szekely. or self-digestion.Fasting and prayer have been linked for thousands of years by people who want to feel a greater closeness to the Creator. “The vital elements of the raw juices do not disrupt the healing and rejuvenating process of autolysis. it is possible to take on a short (3-5 days) fresh organic juice fast on their own. How to Keep Slim Healthy and Young with Juice Fasting (Health Plus Publishers . 60 . Dr. 1971) confirms this when he mentions that. for anyone with any serious medical issues. too much weight loss too quickly along with detoxification being much more uncomfortable and even dangerous. Paavo Airola. The Essene Gospel of Peace. meditation may come more easily when the body is quiet and still. However. who are basically healthy. a great classic Third Century Aramaic Manuscript. I use this book as my own personal guide and I recommend it highly. Jesus describes in complete detail how to heal oneself of all disease using fasting. In this book. Focusing on the body as the temple of God. Water fasting can be very extreme and difficult on the individual.
resentments. Now. Link them together to see a pattern that took you from health to disease.. now is the time to go back to the beginning. Healing yourself can’t happen unless you take this most elemental leap into the reality of existence. The components of disease may appear complicated at first. or causes. You will find trauma. etc. I like this challenge to stay in the moment. we are here and now. frightened and then depressed your whole being. anger. Find that cause. Go back and review how your human frame became compromised and weakened. It’s much more interesting than any other way to be in this world on this planet that we call Earth. You can’t fight a battle until you know your enemy. We watch the war on our TV so matter-offactly. along with medical and alternative doctors with their take on your illness. The alternative creates great pain and suffering for all concerned. The now has become the place of choice no matter what the effort put forth to stay present.Conclusion: Getting Clear No matter how we see ourselves. You know that there are many books and websites about healing. I am a lover. I love this romance that I am having with Life. It’s time to do your homework like you have never done it before. perhaps you can now meditate on that clarity and consciousness that exists within you in order to distance yourself from the fear. mostly emotional issues that wore you down. If you choose to let others take you down their particular path. I personally believe that the illness is there for you. but it has been more than 30 years of a life filled with amazing possibilities and Grace to make it all happen. Disease does not begin from nothing. I’ve lived in the past and I’ve lived in the future. It has a cause. you must do this. I haven’t always understood this to the degree that I understand it now. some progress might be made or you may lose your battle. The present is the present is the present is the present. It’s just so precious to be here in this human form. it seems that my life has taken a different course. How about watching the war in your mind. jealousy. but if you really want to get to the source.. sorting out the feelings and thought forms that are fighting amongst themselves ? Once you are able to do that. Think of all the times that you skipped over details – some quite important – well. guilt. Treating ourselves and others with respect and love is the only way to live. That has been very deceptive and sometimes painful. 61 . so that you will find the clarity to guide you to the perfect health that you deserve. I recommend that you become very simple and contemplative .
We must also plan for your future. We do not have the luxury of a negative thought – ever. when they come. Move right into the new and fresh breath of the next moment and be grateful for it! Go off by yourself for a while. without any expectations. Quit your job and camp out in the woods. Forgiveness is an action that needs to be understood and manifested . When you know that sweet place within. Not with strings. So. especially in the ramifications of healing ourselves. Love yourself and others will love you. I didn’t say anything to my family. so that you will have the time to try many healing modalities that are available. you don’t require any love or acceptance from the outer. The time is now for us to prepare for our future as well. Stay away from all negative people. lower your overhead. Now is the time for all of us to come together to help ourselves and each other to learn how to be simple. and the fears it could have carried. and jealousy of people in our lives. kindness and true caring for yourself and others. a complete change in how you see. or obligations. Nature is the best teacher when it comes to understanding the balance and harmony that is needed to survive and then to thrive. I told only a few friends. So much of our disease is based on and caused by our anger. You have to remember that our lifestyle plays a major part in our health and wellness. resentment. Staying focused on what is real is the challenge before us. Take this time to listen. I had to put on blinders so that I wouldn’t be distracted by anything that would take me away from the plan. We need to make these relationships based on truth in order for us to truly be at peace with ourselves. This book and my songs are mirrors through which you can see who you are and where you need to go to make things right. Living a whole life. fear. and they will – that’s what got us into this position in the first place – say NO! Chase them away. When I was diagnosed with cancer. Sitting around being full of fear is not an option for those of us who really want to heal. Love your family and your family will love you back. It would have frightened them and that would have back-fired into my own mind. manifesting their greatness in all that we do and aspire to do is our only purpose. hear. Enjoy this process and enjoy Romancing Life 62 . but totally unconditionally. feel and taste this life will be the key to unlocking the miracles you want to heal yourself. so that is when your intentions are pure and your life will reflect that innocence. full of the gifts we are given. If you have to. so perhaps.
Mostly I am asking for illumination. I am begging the Creator for help. 1-Take All the Fear Chorus: Take all the fear that you know I’m hiding Take it away. the joy of the ultimate connection would bind me to the heart of God forever and ever. I pass these songs on to you with the hope that you will feel inspired to go deep within yourself to find that peace. played and sang this song over and over again. 63 . Healing takes place on all levels. my longing for the highest truth set me free. The pain of not knowing if I would live or die generated tremendous emotional confusion until I wrote. at least if I did die. Then. I would be prepared by feeling a strong inner knowing of where I was going.Part II: 12 Songs (©2004) Rhythm. Feeling an escalation of the darkest possible fears of both illness and death. I’m falling. rhyme and melody have been my life raft from as far back as I can remember. or if I did live. The twelve songs I am presenting mirror the feelings of a heart sculpted by a powerful feeling of inner love. having that light from within wash over me with so much love and joy that I will be given complete clarity in the face of such a challenge. In either case. so I can be free Replace it with love that is infinitely with me Show me how to see what I’ve never seen before I’m falling. please catch me my Lord Bind me to you with your golden cord This love that you’ve given me is only a part Of the joy that is mending my broken heart For lifetimes and ages I’ve known you before The door that you’ve shown me heals evermore About the Song: This is the song which I wrote while I was healing myself of cancer.
It forced me to create a plan for renewal. the 1950’s rock n’ roll legend. cancer was truly a blessing. Florida. and my course of treatment. I had been doing some substitute teaching. but summer was coming and there would be no work for a while.For me. This was a difficult time during which I had gotten a divorce from my husband. I understand All I need to know The source of your love is deep within me And it’s crying to be set free How can I thank you for giving me life With every breath that I take Your play is divine. eight years after healing myself of cancer. after a short four-year marriage. so perfect and true Please let me love only you About the Song: In 1983. 2-Meant To Be So many lives I must have had Searching for your love It wasn’t this world That could ever please me I needed the reality Chorus: You’ve taken my life into your own And that’s how it was meant to be. Hutchinson. meant to be Looking at you. That was when Mr. I was working for Bo Diddley. I would become accountable for my life — my body. It was upsetting to all involved. Mitchell. Again I must reiterate that the most exciting aspect of the healing took place when I earnestly thanked God for the cancer. The main thrust and direction would be mostly based on trusting the intuitive information from my higher self. offered Aaron and I the opportunity to put my trailer on his back forty. 64 . guiding me every step of the way. In order to survive. my mind. the custodian at this local northern Florida school in Hawthorne. Aaron. especially our son.
Through a mutual acquaintance, Bo Diddley heard about a Jewish girl singing in the little black church up the road. He insisted on meeting me. After we met and he heard my predicament, the next morning he took his truck and pulled my 17’ travel trailer onto his back forty, bought me a car at the junkyard for $300 and gave me a job taking care of his entire family. From Grandma to the great grand kids, members of the band and all, I took the best care that could of his family. 3 - Every Game in the Book
I’ve been through every game in the book That could ever be played But now I know that there is a place in my heart That will forever stay Chorus: And I know that it’s true And that’s why I love you
When I look in your eyes I can see A reflection of love toward me Your eyes all aglow and a smile on your face I can feel such grace
El tiempo in este vida Es como melodia Que viene de lo hondo de mi ser Una opportunitad para escuchar Esta cancion que puedes conocer Chorus: Y yo se que es verdad Y por eso te amo
About the Song: This song was written at a time when I had made the decision that I had to cease all relationships that contained drama and anguish. Songs usually come to me as I am about to or have already shifted into another gear. I am a creature of love and, therefore, love is the only reality I choose to have in my life. But there is love and there is love. Learning how to
love myself more, filling myself up with enough love so that the cup would be full, became my goal.
Change is the most definite aspect of living on Planet Earth. Besides the floundering economy, increase in crime, pollution -filled cities, what about the shifting of the poles, global warming, ozone layer holes, and other physical earth adjustments? No amount of apathy or fantasy is going to matter when your house floats away in a flood, gets destroyed by a hurricane, fire, tidal wave or tornado. You will be called into immediate action to make the necessary changes to adjust to your new environment.
Letting the understanding of that ultimate truth guide my way throughout this life has been the greatest of all goals. Perhaps our definition of reality needs readjusting. Something real is something that never changes. The truth will set us free.
4 - Hanging on to Pure Love
I’m tired of the limits that my mind puts over me It’s a mighty tight squeeze to find some decent dignity I’ve looked everywhere ‘round this whole world Up and down, ‘round and through, this old’ girl Chorus: And I’m grateful for this life That breathes me through and through And I’m hangin’ on to pure love That’s all there is to do
I ain’t goin’ to no heaven, that’s up above somewhere I’ve got it all right here and now, if you should even care Talk is cheap so I won’t say much more about this now But if you want to know the Truth, if your concepts will allow Chorus Don’t tell me how to live my life, it’s up to each of us To sing the low down blues, or get on that joyful bus 66
Takin’ us to where we all come from There’s a love inside our hearts, no need for us to roam
About the Song: This song really frees up the spirit of love from within. There is just enough raw inspiration to dissuade any negativity the mind could possibly conjure up. The streetwise, straightforward style expresses my stance and keeps me grounded in the reality of now.
The joyful bus may look no different on the outside from other buses you have been on, but there will be something uniquely different, which you will sense. Any encumbrance that you have been carrying on your shoulders will be lifted, and warmth will bathe away those worldly blues. Your breathing will seem fuller and your body will feel lighter. Keep allowing the feeling to come and keep surrendering to it. Why not? You have nothing to lose but your pain and suffering.
You have to stay on the bus. Don’t worry that you might miss your stop. You will be guided each step of the way. Everything that you require will be provided for you on this pleasurabl e bus. Prosperity and abundance will be given to you fully, along with the trust and faith to keep your head in the heavens and your feet on the earth. The bank of love will provide the greatest amount of interest you can ever imagine, and your mutual funs will keep growing by leaps and bonds. You will accrue the security of a permanent future based on the interest of love.
5 - Get Simple I want to be here now, I want to understand and feel And stand on the solid ground of Eternal Love It is so hard to believe that someone really cares And to penetrate my heart the way you always do Chorus: Get simple, look within yourself Do what you can do Listen to the silence It’s inside of you
His unconditional caring has been the driving force of all that I do with my life. straightforward it would be. Florida. since you’ve given me this sight About the Song: Although I grew up without any formal religious training. This song flowed out of me one night on the deck as I was experimenting with different tunings on my guitar. but sometimes it’s difficult to trust that my world won’t come tumbling down if I’m not holding it up. it was a blessing that I did not have any particular indoctrination. in 1976. 6 . I had just met my husband to be and the future father of my son. which could have possibly clouded my innate perceptions. Mitchell was busy in the galley growing sprouts as I was creating this special song. sun is shining. In some ways.There are those of us who can’t hide from the sickness that we see We want peace within ourselves and for our children to be free It’s all before us as the river meets the sea And a Master sings the praises of love in you and me I’m waking up the dream is coming to an end Sky is clearing. I was willing to do anything to find out how I wrote this song when I was living on a boat in Ft. I want to be in the moment. Lauderdale. and you’re coming ‘round the bend Your face is all-aglow with such a brilliant light I’m at peace with myself. I am now I am here and now Inside of me lies the key The key to my heart 68 . It just keeps getting better and I get better because of it. Coming to my Teacher to listen and savor his teachings has been the ultimate romance in my life. I knew that what I was looking for had to be uncomplicated.The Key To My Heart I am here. My mind still wants to come in and tell me that it’s not possible. I have always felt the presence of a power.
We have been wired for love. when we are really ready The sun is shinning.The Romance of Life The romance of life is right inside me Waiting for me to find out what I really long for When I can be quiet I can hear love speak To me. I’ll grab a hold and won’t let go Chorus It feels so good to know That this love will help me to grow In the romance of life The story’s been told longer than I know It’s free. which is our birthright. I needed firstly to feel that wasteland of pain just once to know this is not what we have come here for. 69 . My Teacher is the recipient of this song. the birds are singing God knows I feel this life down to my very toes. I can see I can be and see Inside of me lies the key The key to my heart Chorus: Carry me. something else happened and we forgot about how important this happiness. Then. this joy. for me and you. oh. Where in this world could I even find that peace. These lyrics are so simple. 7 . dear Lord Cross the desert of my mind Let me feel this thirst inside With you as my guide You have shown me how to live In the here and now I want to say thank you With all of my heart About the Song: This song is a prayer from a very deep part of me. is. freely. Now. we must return to that childlike state. As children we knew that happiness was something to wake for each day and we experienced that as young children. but right inside. yet I feel them so strongly coming from my heart.I can be.
I grow each day closer to this real lover. This is when it’s calm. or if I can please my partner with my lovemaking or my dinners. The Guadalupe River winds through hill and flowery dale. 8 -Guadalupe River Take Me Home Guadalupe River flows on and on and on Guadalupe River please take me to my home Chorus: I long to hear your waterfalls And that sweet cricket’s song Guadalupe River take me home Sun sets over the hill and the workday comes to end Mama and Papa feed their kids and bed they send Hill Country beauty lasts a long time in my mind Been all over this great big world. My lover has been there since I was born and will be there after I die. but rather an unconditional feeling right inside of me. I don’t have to even get dressed. get my massage license and learn how to say y’all. not just on the weekend. for two years. My lover is a constant. such I place I could not find. wear pantyhose and heels. Hummingbird heaven such a joy you are to see You heal my heart and my mind to be set free About the song: I lived in the Hill Country of South Central Texas in early 1996. indeed.About the song: I’m having a romance. place or thing. I had gone to Texas looking for a low overhead so that I would have more time to figure out how to write. let alone. I witnessed first hand the intensity of a river out of control and met amazing 70 . which doesn’t involve another person. The Texas Hill Country is very special and holds a place in my heart that is very dear. When it’s not. When I’m quiet. watch out. To feel this love. which transports me inward to a generous and faithful lover. I experience the most divine romance. since there are no discrepancies or fears about being abandoned. enough time to change my license plates.
I went there hoping to be able to do some teaching of English. Buddha. help with this cause Tibet must be set free. Tong. Must be set free. Pat and Frank Nelson let me stay at their cottage overlooking the river.Buddha. The warring have killed and destroyed The people. We must not shut our eyes. not more than a few feet from my bed. Mu. Dru and Ra . I had heard about a Tibetan Refugee School called Happy Valley. Here in our land we have fought long and hard. Dru and Ra (2x) Liberty Justice must come to Tibet. the culture the teachings of God Reverence for three precious joys. Dharma. after I met my teacher. Sleeping in the back room of a small Chai (tea) shop. and received his Knowledge . Mu. No description is needed here. Six peoples come from the land of Tibet Se. Sangha Chorus: We don’t have a moment to lose. Six peoples come from the land of Tibet Se. which literally hung over the river. I left his ashram and went on to travel in Northern India.folks who rode it out with composure and humility as the river came up twenty-four feet one night during the flash flood season. In Llhasa the gompa no longer will be Unless Tibet will be free White Mountain sits on the top of the world Snow lions rule the land. My wish came true along with much more. We can help. cleaning up my innards more than I ever could have imagined. I did a Juice Fast that spring. along with a Gallbladder Flush. Sangha About the Song: In 1973. Her family had been artists and this cottage had an art studio attached to it. For freedom to pray as we please. with the 71 . Each night I was soothed to sleep by the waterfall. Tong. Dong. Dong.White Mountain White Mountain sits on the top of the world Snow lions rule the land. 9 . Dharma.
The woman who founded and directed this school became a mentor to me. two hearts feel Honesty. What an honor! Each day I meditated in their mountain temple with the smell of incense and hot butter tea. and to get the chance to immerse myself in the pride of their fascinating culture. for the love inside We kissed in the Garden of Eden Swirling round we danced and danced And your wine from black berries Made us laugh and cry perchance Chorus: Bridge: This is my dream I wished all along That someone like you could hear my song. 1959. I spent a few weeks learning firsthand about the Tibetan people. I feel so grateful to have been able to travel. She was the first Tibetan woman to speak and write English and fortunately was able to escape from Tibet along with the Dalai Lama. after the destruction of her city. through the Internet. 10 . England). 23 Dering Street. Lhasa. London W 1.For the Love Inside We met in the month of September Summer still painted the land Mountain trails brought us together As we held out our hands Chorus: You played your songs and I played mine Hearts singing for the love. The people truly welcomed me into their hearts and I will never forget that. You can read about Richen Dolma Taring in her autobiographical book. Her book is a vivid account of life in Tibet before the invasion of the Communist Chinese and tragic events that ensued. tranquility That exists in you and me About the Song: I met a lovely man. a few years ago who lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains.grandfather in the next cot. culminating in the Tibetan National Uprising on March 10. I took a giant leap and flew up to meet him in person in the month of 72 . The Daughter of Tibet (Wisdom Publications. to a place of such richness and depth. like I did. Many nows make love so real Two hearts can open.
Make Your Work Your Play Chorus: Make your work your play Play your work all day Find the balance that will set you free To be . and absolutely no fun. or 73 . Bob plays the piano and has written and recorded many lovely songs.The best you can be I’m takin’ a chance on life Leaving my fears behind Movin’ on to all the good things I know I will find Chorus I’ve got nothing to lose Only learnin’ to gain And a positive feeling growing strong Keeping me sane Chorus Give your love away Get it back one day Give your heart a chance to know that It’s the only way About the Song: Most of us don’t make our work our play and our play our work. license. He and I shared our music with each other and with others in the intentional community where he lives. there have been times when I have had to buckle down in order to get that degree. we became convinced that the only way to survive would be to work hard and look forward to playing on the weekends. so it didn’t take much for the song to manifest.September. This is one of the only love songs I have ever written for another person. Indian summer filled the mountains and infatuation filled our hearts. The relationship was short lived. The word “work” for most of us conjures up exhaustion. Some part of me. 11 . but served us both well during its idealistic manifestation. Somehow. Throughout my life. never believed this horrible falsehood. The romance was alive and filled with magic. pain.
Get up. so that by the time we begin our sedentary workday. we will already have had the opportunity to wake ourselves up with strong aerobic and stretching movements. and breathe some fresh air. body and my spirit to develop something important to me. I truly recommend that we work out early in the morning. Go for it! 12 -The People Shall Continue . yet very much the same. Although we have to work hard in order to accomplish certain goals in our life. shake out my hands. Most important is finding the balance between work and play. move around. We are not robots and many of our everyday postures and performances are not natural. Permission granted by the author Simon J. To impose the body to sit for too long can create a kind of atrophy where there is tension in overused areas. I still have to sit for many hours. That’s different. Ortiz writer of the children’s book. sky and sand We must now be sure Of the balance of the earth Take care of each and every Creature from its birth Chorus: The people shall continue God has made it so The future holds the promise Children make it grow Fight against those forces Which take away our soul Insure that life continues Beyond what we may know 74 . Now that many of us sit in front of computers for much of our day. and limpness in unused ones. shoulders. Each hour requires a mini-session (five minutes) in order to get the most out of our productive lives. using my brain.even complete a book for publication. I find it extremely necessary to take breaks every hour or so. We are all the people People of this land Created from the forces Of water. we can still enjoy the process and be grateful for the learning that is involved in accomplishing our task.Poem adaptation. It’s only a matter of breaking some bad habits and replacing them with ones that support our higher selves. THE PEOPLE SHALL CONTINUE.
About the Song: For many years. Ortiz. entitled Continuance by an Acoma Pueblo Indian named Simon Ortiz. must unite within that deepest part of us to understand this Earth and each other. as well as self-destruct. I was guided to him at the University of Toronto where he is a professor. During the middle 1980’s. He gave me permission to use my adaptation of his poem. which was found in his 1977 children’s book The People Shall Continue. whether in blood or friendship. Families. We do have the power to self-heal. my Aunt Irene and Uncle Harry had a poem. released in 1988. I contacted Mr. This song asks that we heal ourselves through respect for the past. completely enjoy our present and be prepared for whatever our future holds in store for us. we must know our past. I decided to use it as the title and theme of an intergenerational training manual. Since I felt so inspired by the contents of the poem. Through the Acoma Pueblo. 75 . I have the revised edition. published through Children’s Book Press. I was working as The Director of Intergenerational Programming at the Southeast Florida Center on Aging. While deciding on which songs I would use on this CD. framed and hung in their home. In order for that to take place.
bodywork and other items for health and healing. exotic retreats. www.com : Personal coaching on the phone for women who struggle with eating disorders. web site links.rawtimes. classes.alokhealth.com : Products. day by day.dancingdragonenterprises .ArtOfLivingWell.com : Loren Lockman. meditations. Tons of info for the raw world! www. Offering supervised fasts and healing programs. www.html : Happy Cow provides information on the raw food diet. www. my story and guidance for others who want to find their way into healthy recovery from obesity and overeating issues.awareeating .com : Fun.rawfamily. including Jenny's book "Raw Food Made Easy for 1 or 2 People".com : Raw food.com : lots of information for the raw lifestyle www.com : Lots of info and tons of products. recipes. books.Alok Holistic Health Community. the way God made them.gardenofhealth. massage. Supporting body-mind-spirit growth and well being through nutrition counseling. and articles.org : A non-profit organization for raw and living foods in Vancouver and British Columbia . recipes.living -foods. www.com : The Raw Health Revolution Leader. interesting and very informative site with transformational pictures.com : Raw food chef Jenny Cornbleet offers raw food diet lectures. & celebration. live-food.com/eco -eating : Learn about the pitfalls to watch out for when you attempt to eat raw. www. www.rawgour met.net/raw/raw_living. from Plain to Beautiful www.bodybubble. etc. www.learnrawfood. recipes. www. a year long. in accordance with your body's wisdom. bodywork and other items for health and healing. www. www.com : Raw food products for organic health and natural diets including weight loss and self help. www. videos.com : .thegardendiet.rawfoodinfo.Spread the raw word to everyone! Share your stories.Part III.eatraw.com : The Ultimate Guide to the Transformation from Sick to Vigorous.CelestialRawGoddess. information and retreats www.livingnutrition.highvibe.f redericpatenaude. raw foods. www. yoga. facts and tips for staying raw.com: Nomi Shannons web-site promoting her book the raw gourmet www.rawfood.com : Raw food.org : Natural healing for people and animals www. resources and world-wide searchable restaurant guide. Loads of info and products.healthyhealing . www.BeautifulOnRaw.rawretreat.com : Large site with lots of resources and information www.com : Rio s web site. events.com : The Boutenko family web-site www.com : Raw journal.rawfoodchat.com : Testimonial.com : A testimonial raw weight loss site. www.com : Paul Nison s web-site www. Use the famous CaPNaK Chart to achieve and maintain tissue balance and fluid balance in your body. emotional eating. reiki.shazzie. and knowledge about the greatest lifestyle ever! www.Resources: www.com : U. www.chefcc. www.com : Promoting the livingnutrion magazine. www. from Aging to Youthful.livingnutrition. Practical tools for learning to eat naturally. www. inspiring.rawreform. Canada www.raw bc. or simply feel out of control with food. www.com : lots of information.fromsadtoraw.fresh -network.tanglewoodwellnesscenter.happycow.K based site. parties. Raw food recipes and books are also available. raw diary. www. recipes and lots of other info for raw food. hands-on workshops. 76 .com : .com : Achieving vibrant health eating the foods God made.com : I am Los Angeles -based personal chef raw and vegan cuisine.rawlife.com : Great site with lots of information www. and consultations in the Chicago area and nationwide.com : Don't miss Frederic's weekly e-mail news on the raw-food diet for controversial and useful information. Free consultation.
getting advise.rawheaven. MA www.This is Brenda Cobbs site with lots of testimonials www.rawfoodhealth.Medical institute and raw food health retreat in Mexico www.com . Bach Flower Remedies and Meditation.Cynthia Beavers web site and her new raw café web site www. LIVE Hemp Food Products. Gabriel Cousens (Foreword).com .organicgardencafe.com .organicfood -4u.com .thefruitpages.com .com .A revolutionary system designed to help you blossom into your full potential. Read other people's success stories. www.com : For fresh LIVING greens daily.baar.sanoviv. www.goingorganic. www.purerawcafe.uk www. staying motivated and meeting new raw friends.livingintheraw.com/castoroilinstruct. lectures and a raw food community posting board.com .discountjuicers. Erika Lenkert (Author).com : Tons of products at low prices www.livingharvest.Bryant Burke's site with info on seminars. Paperback 77 .rawcrunch.stepstoperfecthealth. www.Everything about breathing all in one place.com and www.about -breathing.com . www.rawfoodtalk. www.synergy -healing.co. events.rawfoodnetwork.htm Books Eating for Beauty – by David Wolfe Sunfood Diet Success System – by David Wolfe Raw: The Uncook Book: New Vegetarian Food for Life .a beautiful site with lots of inspiration and info.co.the best raw bars available! www. Post your daily journal and pictures.rawesome.com : a major source of resources and networking for the raw world www.great site on organic gardening www.com .com : Everything you ever wanted to know about fruit www. SYNERGY Healing combines Holistic Therapy. build your own Automatic Sprouter or order one ready-built.com Castor Oil Packs http://www.conscious nutrition.com .com .by Juliano Brotman (Author).Clinical testing and treatments tailored to the individuals needs www.raw food restaurant in Beverly .fountainofyouthnow. Hardcover 12 Steps to Raw Foods: How to End Your Addiction to Cooked Food—by Victoria Boutenko.eatsprouts. www. www.com : Alissa Cohen's raw food support site for asking questions.uk .
by Nomi Shannon.by Sergei Boutenko.by Ann Wigmore (Paperback . et al(Paperback .by Rita Romano.March 1999) The Hippocrates Diet and Health Program .October 1986) Warming Up to Living Foods .by Brigitte Mars (Paperback . Brian Clement (Foreword)( Paperback .by Paul Nison (Paperback ) Dining in the Raw .June 2002) The Essene Gospel of Peace.July 1999) The Raw Life : Becoming Natural In An Unnatural World . a great classic Third Century Aramaic Manuscript.by Cheryl L.by Elysa Markowitz. Low Salt.March 2003) The Raw Secrets: The Raw Vegan Diet in the Real World by Frederic Patenaude( Paperback ) The Living Foods Lifestyle . Solomae Primal Mothering in a Modern World .January 1984) The Sprouting Book .by Hygeia Halfmoon( Paperback ) Raw Food Treatment of Cancer . and Culinary Delight With the Raw Foods Diet .by Harvey Diamond( Paperback .Juice Fasting and Detoxification : Use the Healing Power of Fresh Juice to Feel Young and Look Great: The Fastest Way to Restore Your Health . Low Temperature. Not Fat for Life .by Brenda Cobb (Paperback .by Steve Meyerowitz.by Steve Meyerowitz. was translated into English by Edmond Bordeaux Szekely 78 . Stoycoff.January 2004) Rawsome: Maximizing Health.by Gabriel.November 1995) Fit for Life. Living Food Vegetarian Recipes . Dairyless. Energy. Low Fat.July 1998) Raw Kids: Transitioning Children to a Raw Food Diet . Valya Boutenko (Paperback ) Sprouts The Miracle Food: The Complete Guide to Sprouting .June 2003) Eating Without Heating: Favorite Recipes from Teens Who Love Raw Food .by Jason Vale(Paperback .by Steve Meyerowitz.February 2004) Rainbow Green Live Food Cuisine .by Kristine Nolfi(Paperback .January 2004) The Juice Master’s Ultimate Fast Food: Discover the Power of Raw Juice .April 1999) The Raw Gourmet . et al (Paperback . et al(Paperback . Gabriel Cousens (Paperback October 1998) Sproutman ’s Kitchen Garden Cookbook: 250 flourless. et al (Paperback . MD Cousens.by Ann Wigmore (Paperback . et al (Paperback .
J. Dialectic Press.cas. medical students and nurses. Dr.A. has been “macrobiotic” since conception. She has also studied at the Vega Institute and with Michio Kushi in his Advanced Training Seminars. Ralph Alan Dale eventually became an acupuncturist and author of Acupuncture With Your Fingers: An 18-point Healing System.shtml 79 . in Biology from Brandeis University in 1979 and a Doctor of Medicine from Stanford University in 1984.ucf. who incidentally. Adkins received a B. Dr. 3 – Regia Leftwich Paper: Western Castration: A Feminist View of Hysterectomy http://www.edu/gendergazette/paper3. She then went on to complete a fellowship in cardiac anesthesiology at New York University and a research fellowship in neuroscience at the University of California at San Diego. area.C. Dr.) 1 Dr.. Stacey L. UCSD and the Medical College of Pennsylvania. a renowned macrobiotic counselor and educator in Pennsylvania. In 1995. Adkins is now available for personal macrobiotic counseling sessions. private cooking lessons and lectures on macrobiotics in the Washington D.C. Stacey Adkins lives in Washington D. She has completed his two-year Macrobiotic Counselor Training Program at the Strengthening Health Institute and is now engaged in the Graduate Studies Program. She trained in Internal Medicine at Pennsylvania Hospital and completed her residency in anesthesiolo gy at the University of Pennsylvania in 1988. Adkins has just been invited to be on the full-time faculty at the Strengthening Health Institute in Pennsylvania. Dr. She has held faculty positions at NYU. Adkins retired from medicine in order to heal from a long bout with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Adkins has studied macrobiotics extensively over the past seven years with Denny Waxman. She has decided to apply her vast experience and knowledge to helping others achieve optimum health through macrobiotics.Endnotes: 1 Dr. She began practicing and studying macrobiotics and gradually recovered her health. 1989. where she has practiced clinical anesthesiology and taught physicians. with her husband Mark and their son A.
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