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An Alternative to Cancer
By Jill Ayn Schneider
Disclaimer: Jill Ayn is not a doctor and does not diagnose, prescribe for or treat any disease, nor dispense medical advice. The information you obtain from this book is provided for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a medical professional. Consult an appropriate health professional for advice relating to a medical problem or condition.
I would like to deeply thank my mother, Marion Schlesinger, for passing on great genes, and enough resolve for an army of Jewish mothers; my dad, Irving for his affection, nice singing voice, and spontaneous humor; Benolia (Bea) Thompson, for her witty giggle even throughout her long and painful suffering; my brother Steve, for his devil’s advocate questionings; my sister-in-law, Vera, for constant support in the most tender German and English; my dear son, Aaron, who is the living proof of my taking responsibility for my own body; and most gratefully, my Teacher – Prem Rawat (also know as Maharaji), for giving me a profound method of practical self-awareness, which has enabled me to fine tune my heart with velvet strings of pure love.
Table of Contents Part I Introduction Chapter One: Chapter Two: Chapter Three: Chapter Four: Chapter Five: Chapter Six: Chapter Seven: Chapter Eight: Chapter Nine: Conclusion: The Groundwork Journey to the East The Diagnosis South American Journey Miracle Child Making Stuff Up Being Grateful for Cancer Keeping Our Hysteria Juice Fasting and Natural Foods Getting Clear
Songs for Healing
Take all the Fear Meant To Be Every Game in the Book Hangin’ On To Pure Love Get Simple Key to My Heart Romance of Life Guadalupe River White Mountain For The Love Inside Make Your Work Your Play The People Shall Continue
Bibliography : Books, Websites, Resources
I’ve come to the conclusion that life itself can be one incredible romance. As a child of the 1960’s. I sat in his office across from an imposing mahogany desk. Fortunately. anxiously waiting for him to enter. Fear trampled within my mind and my body. Miraculously. I was primed by the philosophical culture of the day to search for that instinctive possibility of innate joy and enthusiasm for life. true and unadulterated romance exists with or without a partner or even a fantasy to entice my imagination. he then said. came this: “Respectfully. Not just because I’ve been married twice and fallen in love many more times than that. “We need to get you into the hospital immediately to explore how advanced this cancer is. and many places and people in between. In February 1975. I was diagnosed with malignant cervical cancer. you would have thought that I had held up a gun or a knife to his throat. It felt just like the kiss of death and many of you who are reading this book will know what I mean. From the suburbs of New York City to the Himalayan Mountains. I’ve traversed the possibility. given and partaken.” 4 . I remember with great clarity that eventful day I was called in to the doctor’s office to discuss two duplicate test results. I didn’t have the wind to react in any way.Part I: Introduction To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. whether of great pain or tremendous joy. Two Class V Pap tests revealed the same results – conclusive for malignancy. Oscar Wilde Throughout my experiences of this life. this delicious connection with an infinite permanence has enabled me to be appreciative for all that I have been shown. but because. “My nurse will be in touch with you to set up the hospital visit. He had just blown it away. at the age of 29. don’t you think that perhaps I could try some natural healing on myself first. Looking down at my folder as he entered the office.” Without even giving me an opportunity to take my next breath and say anything. for me. but with the harshness that followed. he left the room quickly. before anything invasive and drastic?” By his expression. he looked up and said. Dr. we have confirmed from these two tests that you definitely have malignant cervical cancer. saying.” I flashed back to the time I was sitting in the principal’s office in junior high school being reprimanded for talking back to my math teacher on account of a bad grade. not just with the news. This is a memoir of my life thus far. “Jill. Shocked and angry. ____. with the essential theme or focus on a creative reaction to a very serious medical diagnosis.
I still trust that the Creator will never give me challenges which I can’t handle. Amazingly. Courage would be the key element to take me across the bridge of this fear into a philosophical and spiritual transformation. I prayed not just for myself but for peace and love to manifest in this world. Bob kept looking at me to make sure I was okay. Surprisingly. I thought about what the day had brought … scary thoughts for sure. I sensed an intense connection with all that was around me.I maintain ed a stoic expression for the rest of that day. If it takes something that intense to face those fears. but today I found out that I have cancer. That evening I was scheduled to sing and play guitar at a local Miami radio station. Breathing a deep sigh of relief. I felt true support in a simple hug when my friend Bob dropped me off at my home. I’m okay. So far. I walked to the car. I sensed that my life was not my own. My musical partner. Bob. I felt the fear. but I did realize early on that fear would serve no purpose. We drove in silence to the studio. going over and over the fallout of that early morning appointment. the fear of illness and of death. that night I slept well. In my meditation I knew what it 5 . Standing in the dark tiny room waiting our turn. but I also felt a formidable realization spurning from inside of me. then I’m grateful. picked me up that night. this dilemma was attempting to put a damper on the flame. knowing that I would be facing some interesting decisions over the next few days and weeks. a warm and peaceful current entered the airtight studio. mainly helping to remove the paralyzing fear that might ruin this sweet musical opportunity. enabling me to set the stage that would allow me to overcome my fear of illness and of death! The old adage the show must go on manifested that evening. I had this uncanny feeling that if I could live with more inner understanding and less fear I could beat the odds and heal myself. Thirty-one years later. The songs seemed to break the spell of confusion. I played and sang my universal peace songs better than ever. When it was our turn to perform. How could I not? But it was coupled with an inner connection that would gently guide me through this remarkable time. I looked up at an unusually clear and shimmering sky. Just when I thought that my rehearsals had brought me to a professional level. Inexplicably. “Bob. that has been the case. I knew very little about natural healing at that time.” The look on his face conveyed genuine concern. certainly not expecting to hear this. Should I think otherwise now? Leaving the downtown Miami studio that crisp February evening. my prayers had never been so selfless during that endless wait.
If I can inspire you to question. and that he was given a tentative diagnosis of ankylosing spondylitis. In time. then you are at the beginning of making the necessary changes to heal yourself. we can be grateful. and read humorous books. with the cooperation of his doctor. It brought out my fiercest warrior. arranged for showings of laugh-provoking films. Cousins’ account gave no evidence of a confirmed diagnosis. 1979). he reported receiving some 3. I also know very profoundly that no matter how much time we get to have in these human bodies. scrape. After suffering adverse reactions to most of the drugs he was given. he experienced a gradual withdrawal of symptoms and eventually regained most of his lost freedom of movement. passionate and unwilling to just follow certain protocols without questioning . Upon returning from a trip to the Soviet Union. I just knew that I needed to strengthen my body by detoxing. a former editor of The Saturday Review. A cancer diagnosis can bring out the best or the worst in us. a degenerative disease of the connective tissue. whether you live or whether you die. In my opinion it didn’t make sense to freeze. purifying the blood and then 6 . Anyone who is facing the issue of serious disease is in a precarious position. The mind can be a powerful ally when it is used for healing. I feel for all of you. at least to have the confidence to do that much.Romanci ng Life: An Alternative to Cancer. unwilling to accept anything that didn’t make complete common sense to me. Cousins recounted his 1976 New England Journal of Medicine article describing a self-healing experience alleged to have happened in 1964. Cousins checked out of the hospital and into a hotel. Cousins decided. Through this ordeal of facing malignant cancer has unfolded a rare life which I have celebrated in this book and CD of music . Nevertheless. and the value of vitamin C. I wasn’t afraid of that. I just knew that it wasn’t my time. cut or remove anything in my body. discontinued his medications except for intravenous injections of vitamin C. to take matters into his own hands.000 letters from doctors praising his decision to pursue self-treatment and supporting his mind-over-matter healing ideas. Norman Cousins. and so. But. Recalling various accounts he had read about the power of positive emotions.felt like to leave this world behind. I also felt that I was meant to live to make this life better for me and for others. or that his fortunate recovery was any more than a normal resolution of his symptoms over time. revitalized a popular belief in the power of the mind on the body in his book Anatomy of an Illness (Norton. Cousins said that he was experiencing stiffness in his limbs and nodules on his neck and hands.
I’ve observed that even if modern medicine’s protocol is to cut something from a person. I was open to understanding the cause of the disease and willing to make whatever changes necessary to alter this diagnosis. live peacefully in nature. Some say I was courageous. I must admit that I had already lived an alternative life. encouragement and resources for your research and study will bring you closer to accepting the balance and harmony that are the keys to health: harmony with yourself. my music has been with me to support and remind me of who I am and why I am here on this planet. but if I could figure that out and make the necessary alternations in my life. two and a half years after the cancer diagnosis will most definitely inspire you. reflect. I wasn’t sure what caused the cancer.building my body/mind with gentle loving energy. Teaching kindergarten for a few years in my early career set the stage for being quick thinking a practical. the disease could easily reappear later somewhere else. organizations and websites dedicated to guiding you to holistic wellness. I just put myself in a cautious first gear. I guess I was and still am. My music is probably my most tender accomplishment. along with the every present conscious choice to go within and continue to explore the unlimited resources of living my dreams in full color. The birth of my son. and then shifted into higher gears when the engine was warmed up. My initial response to having cancer was to step back. All of us have the creative spark within us. body and spirit a proper chance to correct the imbalance that caused the disease in the first place. When you have the responsibility of twenty-five 5 year olds. quite different from most women from my background and age. you learn how to act quickly. In this memoir I am sharing some basics about my background. although we get so wrapped up in this world that we forget that childlike simplicity that lies within us. major influences in my life and some encouraging passages about healing this cancer in some exotic locations where I have traveled. since the cause of the disease never gets addressed. your family and friends. then perhaps I could transform the situation and just change this diagnosis. eat simple foods and rest. I am confident that these words of inspiration. This book also offers you a bibliography with resources of books. your community and this Earth. giving the mind. Without any real formal 7 . Throughout my life. In this medical non-emergency situation. creatively and humorously throughout the day.
to create from that a few sweet melodies and lyrics which express my romance for life. 8 .training. no knowledge of theory or notes. I have transferred my ability to listen adeptly to others of many different styles and personalities and then.
my African American live-in housekeeper. I looked at her life more deeply. Bea had just arrived from North Carolina. The ten years. humming along with some popular music of late 1940’s radio. we reconnected and had the opportunity to speak for hours on the phone. But it was the recorded music that thrilled me the most. from age 2 to 12. her eyes sparkled and a huge smile took over her face.Chapter One: The Groundwork Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness. and even to have some visits when I returned to New York. is hearing Benolia (Bea) Thompson. music has been a major source of strength and inspiration for as far back as I can remember. To this day she still drives and even shops and returns. They were the most popular of the Western singers and were made more so by their movies and TV shows. who worked for the Stern family who lived across the street. that we spent together imprinted my life with a succulent infusion of unconditional love. she grew up raising her younger brothers and sisters from an early age. She has always been very clear about exactly how she wanted to live. Her sister. I found out that she was also part Cherokee and had a German-Jewish grandfather. Anne. not looking for marriage. at 91 is very modern. unschooled but very intelligent. perhaps I was two. When Bea laughed. but rather an opportunity to do what came naturally to her – give of herself. finding out that she loved working for my family. blue-carpeted bedroom singing along to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans’s version of Happy Trails. Kahlil Gibran Without my even realizing it. I vaguely remember the pungent combined scents of chewing tobacco and coconut butter on her velvety smooth skin as we cuddled together in her bedroom next to mine. I felt very secure to be around these two earthy women. Later in my life. I can still see myself as a five-year-old happily sitting cross-legged on the floor in my pretty. hip and chic. books and records. It could have been the huge expanse of the Western landscape’s open range or just the lopping cowboy rhythms that moved me to feel a 9 . I was always receiving the latest dolls. She was independent. My dad made it possible for her to have someone to help in the home. where. somehow transforming my way of seeing and being in this world. games. Since Dad was in the toy business. Mom. My earliest memory. her whole body shook. was very much in my life as well.
New York. Growing up in Lido Beach. Ella Fitzgerald. so she focused on getting a decent education. which landed her a job as a court reporter with a very good attorney. and many others of influence and talent into my world. my infatuation with the elixir of music formed. My brother. Steve and I. did well in school and remained healthy. In the privacy of my own living room. A typical 1960’s teenager. Her high school graduation picture and others that I have seen of her appear to be very serious. My mother was very much in control of how I was raised. my family lived a privileged life. Buddy Holly and the many groups such as The Beatles. My dad had a successful toy business and had to spend many hours traveling to his factory in New Jersey. Golf and ballroom dancing were their entertainments. From Bea’s deep bluesy humming of 1940’s jazz — to the dusty yodel of Western cowboy songs. I still like to dance. elegant. As soon as she married. She had grown up having much less. who emulated these giants. I also lived and breathed the sounds of early rock n’ roll. Elvis. Each weekend I would watch my mother adorn herself in the most stylish clothes for an evening in New York’s famous nightclubs. where they became larger than life. Later on in my teens. Chuck Berry. a tiny suburban post-war town beach town in Long Island. I would learn those same dances. Rumba. especially to my own songs. she left her profession to become a housewife and mother. which she accomplished. mostly studying the Latin rhythms of Cha Cha. radio and TV basically took these inspiring people to a whole new level. Bo Diddley. I remember begging Dad to take me to the Brooklyn Paramount when I was thirteen 10 . My mother. made sure that my brother and I were completely being raised in The American Dream. When my Grandma Jenny would take me to a Broadway show. She encouraged my Dad to great heights and as a result she was able to reap the benefits of having a lovely home and the social life that accompanied it.. The technology of records. Popular music of the 1950’s also brought Frank Sinatra. Samba and Meringue. Sammy Davis Jr. intelligent and quite beautiful. My parents were excellent dancers. played out on the street with a neighborhood full of kids. After high school she studied and became a legal stenographer. we always left with an album. Mambo.connectedness to my own open-hearted spirit. Within a couple of days I would memorize all the tunes and even make up dances to go with them. I thank her now even more than ever for her wisdom in knowing what we really needed.
I dreamt more of being an anthropologist like Margaret Mead. I taught pretty much by the book for the first year. Ian and Sylvia. Between Dylan’s LSD influenced lyrics. They had the courage to sing and write about what was important and a belief that change was necessary to make for a better world. In those days. Their innocence and spontaneity made my classroom come alive. when my children were grown. getting to travel and study unique native cultures around the world. something was changing inside of me and I knew that I would have to seek out alternatives to my methods of instruction in the classroom. work for him for a year. Phil Ochs. My emotional involvement with the children was deep and their young age gave me 11 . I had to start somewhere. Although I was exposed to a vast array of musical styles. to see and hear Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie. When I first took my son. Paul and Mary. becoming his massage therapist and a dear friend of his family ever since.years old to see Bo Diddley. I began my second grade teaching career in the same school system where I grew up. It was also an experiential way of keeping up with the evolving energies of a revolutionary time. were not just singers. In pumps and Jackie Kennedy style suits. Bob Dylan. Joan Baez. Buffy St. Paul and Mary and Joan Baez. Later in my life. hanging out with some members of the cast of the Broadway show called Hair. Well. feeling my way through the boundaries and politics of what would be acceptable in my classroom. dance. Leonard Cohen. In 1966. learning to play the guitar and sing had a most potent influence on my life. a summer in Europe. I made sure that he understood what was behind their precise passion. by my father’s and mother’s advice. or an explorer like Alexandra David-Neel. then settle down. Marie. Peter. theater and politics. creating a revolution which had infiltrated most aspects of art. I could go back to teaching. Joni Mitchell. Perhaps. their music and the effects that they had on me and many others of my generation . Pete Seeger. I actually got to meet him. Judy Collins. start a family and not have to work other than in the home. Aaron. I had no idea that I would continue to be in the educational field 40 years later. I became a respectable school teacher. I loved the children. My family assumed that I would teach for a few years. It was a unique time since the whole youth culture was shifting. when I graduated college with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Education. music. Gordon Lightfoot. These musicians were huge political icons. but accordingly. as my mother had done. most college women my age went into nursing or teaching. and of course. Peter.
I recently uncovered a letter from 1967 in some very old files written to the Superintendent of Schools. after teaching for two years. I asked her to share her secrets with me. Her ability to work so effectively sprung from her respect and love for each human being in her room. These optional ways of perceiving and thinking gave me ideas that were different and the courage to explore them. and by night. through the delight of mastery. I was living in New York City and playing the roles of two different people. The role of the authority figure was important as well. asking that I be allowed to return to the system if I so chose at any time. I couldn’t help but love them. I took an extended trip to Europe starting off with a girlfriend and ending up on my own after several months. It was during that trip that I met Philip de Castan. Hype and media aside. Because they were lovable. I felt frightened of them because I knew that I was never going to be the same after the influence that these freedom-loving people had on me. many of whom were artists. I was a schoolteacher working with very young children. and it still does. to think outside of the box I had grown up in. the grassroots counterculture meant a lot to me. Miss Schlesinger’s (my maiden name) classroom was permeated by a spirit of cooperation and affection among the children and a real enthusiasm for learning on their parts.permission to hold them and mold them at the same time. Josephine Kellman. She wanted her children to meet the world with curiosity and wonder for that is how she meets the world. 1967 In this atmosphere of the late 1960’s. whatever is presented to the children will be absorbed and used as a catalyst to stimulate further learning. I knew that unconditional acceptance of their being (not their behavior) was the only way to create an atmosphere where those young minds could relax and allow the learning process to happen. As I knew her better I began to realize of course that there were no secrets. I tried to understand what it was in Miss Schlesinger’s method which had inspired and maintained this spirit. I gingerly mingled with beatniks. which was and is how most authority figures rule and control others. We were both on a very small ship or 12 . When she heard that I was leaving the school for an extended year abroad. Then. she wrote to the Superintendent about my work. energeticall y transfers a desire to learn more. A master teacher simply masters his or her subject and. but not based on fear. Just being a crystal clean mirror for them to see themselves sets the foundation of a healthy self-image for their whole life. musicians and writers while in my early 20’s in New York’s Greenwich Village. By day. In 1968. A special teacher had been assigned to observe and assist me in my 2nd grade classroom. I experienced the solidarity of this time of great upheaval.
he would become a great influence in my life. I approached Philip after his performance mentioning that I also played and sang with guitar. but not strong enough to distract me from new and diverse ideas that were paving the way through a delicate passage into adulthood. Along with the Civil Rights and Anti-War Movement. So the reflection of who I was and who I wanted to be was held up for me to see myself much more honestly.ferry from Athens to Cyprus. Life has its plan. So completely enamored and drawn to this person. an island in the Mediterranean . he made jokes that put the audience in the palm of his hands. I felt I was also preparing to live in a whole new way. These times became alive as writers. me included. were lyrics written and sung by Robert Zimmerman. performers and little school teachers like me. His shoulder length brown hair electrified the atmosphere as he switched from singing in French. Spanish and Greek. we were married in New York City. he invited me to come to Cyprus. The rest was history. even though it was Greek to me. The Beatles had been to India to study Transcendental Meditation. the capitol of his country. and Baba Ram Dass spoke about his journey to be with his Babaji in Be Here Now. Within about a year from that day. In between the songs. which I somehow suspected was not far from my reach. heating up a part of me that could possibly explode unless I took my own stand to live my own life. An attentive crowd of Greek Cypriots joined him with his guitar as he sang. actors. mostly because I don’t like rules without reason. The intense part is why it was short. As you can well imagine by now. Philip had just finished a couple of years of graphic design school in London and was on his way back to his home in Nicosia. As I felt this inner thirst welling up inside of me. By the middle 1960’s. Instead of shopping for clothes and makeup to present what I considered to be a facade. I spent more time looking for inspirational books and intelligent music to balance my growing skepticism of the world as it was. Through his writings. The traditional grip was strong. songwriters. While Carlos Castaneda wrote about Don Juan’s jewels of peyote perception and Herman Hesse journeyed to the East to find his Master. I was supposed to be headed for Israel. I spent many hours by myself just listening to music. English. with its intense interest in the evolution of human consciousness. I made some quick mental travel changes and went home with him. followed the politics and new philosophies of the day. I also witnessed a deeper need to know Peace. the times they were a changing. AKA Bob Dylan. but after we met. In the 60’s many of us were exploring all possible avenues of personal development. doesn’t it? It was a short but very intense relationship. the traditional family values of 1960’s America didn’t quite feel right to me. unfolded simultaneously. 13 . It felt as if those familial desires were abrasively rubbing at the core of my being. reading metaphysical books and contemplating many deep questions about life. it was natural that the Human Potential Movement.
he taught and conducted research at the Department of Social Relations and the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University from 1958 to 1963. Allen Ginsberg. John with two of my best friends. In August of 1972. Ph. from Wesleyan and a Ph. I took weekend trips on sailboats with handsome captains. from Stanford. in collaboratio n with Timothy Leary. Dr. I took my first LSD trip at Trunk Bay on the magnificent island of St. Richard Alpert and Leary were dismissed from Harvard in 1963. Richard Alpert’s explorations of human consciousness led him to conduct intensive research with LSD and other psychedelic elements. the salty seawater and the gentle breezes on my body. philosopher. I felt this human rawness with a sense of divinity thrown in. Thomas in the American Virgin Islands. I walked barefoot on sharp coral rocks 14 . Two months later. optimist. took the opportunity to stop smoking cigarettes and even went vegetarian. author and revolutionary avatar of the mind.D. he went public with his observations of the mind made with psychedelic mindscopes and helped initiate a renaissance in consciousness.Ram Dass was born in 1933 as Richard Alpert. body and spiritual existence — past.D. I swam on the ocean without swimming. Timothy Leary. Feeling very safe and ready for my generation’s intensive rite of passage. I smoked a bit of marijuana. The islands taught me about the sensuality of the warm sun. son of a wealthy lawyer who was the president of the New York. and Hartford Railroad and founder of Brandeis University. Aldous Huxley. explorer. spent lazy afternoons watching natives climbing palm trees for the delicacy of the exotic coconut fruit and its milk. thoroughly witnessing my own mind. I found myself teaching first grade in a private school in St. and I played my folk music in small clubs up until the wee hours of the night. Because of the controversial nature of this unique research.A. Richard Alpert wrote about his Master and his inevitable transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. After studying psychology and earning an M. (1920-1996) was a psychologist. Leaving New York and flying to a Caribbean paradise was the best thing I could have ever done and it was enough to set the scene for an appealing new chapter in my life. I made superficial acquaintances using music to inch my way into many of the island’s eclectic circles. I spent the next nine hours hovering over the turquoise Caribbean ocean. It was protectively allowing me to drift freely through the moment without focusing for too long on any fears. teacher. While at Harvard. present and future. Rightly called the Galileo of Consciousness. New Haven. and others. It was during these months away from friends and family that I thoroughly re-read Baba Ram Dass’ Be Here Now.
Sensing that I was about to take a major journey. I found the act itself to be very annoying and pretentious. As I slowly receded from the influence of the drug. Within two weeks. but the round-trip ticket was a better deal than one-way. a feeling so natural guiding me. At that moment. so I grabbed my latest boyfriend Bill. I was re-experiencing my birth. In fact. I packed a lightweight backpack with a variety of rugged clothes and a warm down sleeping bag. allowing me to gently recompose. I do stay in touch with those who love me. my desperation for inner awareness was critical. in that moment. While I might be a wild woman. they gave me a couch to stay on as I readied myself. Sometimes being very naïve can also be a blessing in disguise. I just wanted to stay in the now. Trying to prepare for the journey. which I did. It was more of a thirst to know something deeper than what we see in our everyday lives. I felt such a passion to go to India and Nepal that I really didn’t know if I would ever return to the United States. My Mom and Dad freaked out. Who could understand why I would be interested in searching for answers to my questions about existence. I sold my car and packed myself up to return to New York. Vera. I went ahead with my plans. During those hours. To be honest. my childhood — my life and even my death without a blinking of an eye. I wanted to experience sex on LSD. while I counted up my school teaching money. I still had more vacation time. I could hardly breathe. I sensed that I was being guided to meet someone who could help me find my teacher. Steve and sister-in-law. I even gave away my guitar and my books of protest songs. The conditional nature of my relationship with them just pushed me even further away from their grip. I didn’t want to protest anymore — I wanted to find Peace. the textures. a need within me began to emerge. the only music I could listen to was the sound of whales. mostly because I didn’t sell that VW they had bought for me for enough money. I heard my mind come in to remind me who and where I was – and with judgment of course. Over the next few days. 15 . I just felt a trust. I applied and waited for my visa to Nepal. So determined to leave. I knew that I had to travel to India. all of my interactions with others brought me back into my ego and the illusory dimensions of past and future. Later on that evening. instead of looking for a great bargain at Bloomingdales. That wildness never came from anger. I stayed with my brother. While in New York City.without injury. I promised that I would write every few days. the tones and rhythms of movement and sound serenaded my senses like never before. Although the unsettling reactions of my concerned parents caused me some discomfort. Fortunately. which was just enough for a round trip fare and $100 to spare. Even Joan Baez sounded shallow. The colors. recuperate and come back down to Earth. back in my house.
I didn’t know at that moment how this man would profoundly alter the course of my life. 1945. while Nepalese people went about their daily lives. “Why are you here?” I asked. Patrick said. The unique sounds. as the sun came up. and leaves them responsible for choosing their course in life. through voluntary trade with others. I noticed a few Western travelers dotting the local restaurants and hashish shops. and this eastern direction was born of a sizzling passion of wanting to know the source of my existence – and I would later learn that this was not exactly a trip for sissies. Dressed as a sadhu (monk) in a long white robe. which was legal in those days. (pronounced Iyn) as my middle name. I felt this kind of a drive in my own life. She was also a philosopher. I had a habit of attracting transformational energy. I gratefully rested on the steps of a small Hindu temple taking in the crisp air and blazing sun. She gave me the name Ayn. pungent smells and colorful sights offered exotic sensuality very distinctive and acutely stimulating. It was there that I met Patrick O’Reilly. She believed that a free society leaves people free to pursue their own interests. I later found out that Ayn Rand was more than a writer. After finding a small hotel where I could recuperate from the grueling airplane journey. After three days of explorations in the city. I found solace in painting a watercolor sunrise in my diary and then proceeded to dance on the roof of the hotel. Very old and inviting. a far cry from his British Cockney roots. My dance was accompanied by the sounds of roosters and temple bells. no matter what I was pursing at the time. Nepal. who have a sense of self-ownership. I landed in Kathmandu. in February 1973. It relies on people who are capable of thinking for themselves. Traveling to the East was my way of expanding my consciousness in the same way that Herman Hesse and others had done before me. the city and outlying foothills of the Himalayan Mountains could quite easily have become an entertaining diversion and distraction from my real thirst. Ayn Rand My mother was reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand when she gave birth to me on August 18. embedding her theories and ideas into her well known novels. “I 16 . Patrick seemed completely at ease in this rugged and distant setting. He radiated an air of serenity and effortless delight with the role that he played. awakening and calling Hindu worshipper s to their prayers. and the drive to make the most of themselves and their opportunities. Walking out of my hotel onto the dirt main roads.Chapter Two: Journey to the East Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision.
I speak some of the languages (Hindi and Tibetan) and have a great interest in the culture of these regions. Patrick slept like a baby. Patrick became my brother on a very deep level. Patrick and I became acquainted by spending the next few days walking paths along dried up rice fields. Inside and out. like meditating on the moon and on my breath. visiting with other Westerners who were also traveling and living in the area. the last thing I was interested in was another fling. probably $1. He carried with him some books which I read voraciously during the day and by candlelight in the evening. eating delicious Tibetan food. something I wanted for myself. This hotel was a hangout for Westerners buying their hashish from the downstairs store. It was a cheap flop house. we decided to rent a little house outside of the Tibetan Village of Boudna. at least intellectually. Knowing that he was married helped to keep things in a real perspective. We paid $15 for the next two weeks.have been traveling in the East on and off for many years. where I have a wife and children. I needed to heal. I also return often to my home in England. We ate at Mama’s. a small restaurant in the village for $. In my heart. we shared a room in the Eden Hashish Den. watching Buddhist rituals and chatting with local Nepalese.” As he spoke.00 a night — very basic accommodations. Remember that I had started this journey with only $100 and it had to last as long as possible. mental and physical stress.50 for the both of us. I trusted the feeling. that I also contained that same capacity within myself. After spending a few days together in Kathmandu and the surrounding villages. since I knew. I awoke that first night from my very light sleep — if I was even able to sleep at all — to the sound of a rat scurrying underneath my bed. an excitement bubbled about discovering a person who had attained a level of peace I did not know. Patrick was an elegant man. I carried with me so many fears with built-in tension overlapping many layers of emotional. his azure eyes and unwrinkled face held something sacred. Patrick helped me to calm down with simple activities. It was your basic model mud hut with a thatched roof in the middle of the dried up rice paddies. 17 . One night a few days after we first met. But at this point in my life.
I just followed it. I didn’t judge it or worry about it. “It’s a couple of years old.” I looked at this image with an open curiosity. The ice-cold water and straight-edged razor sent a chill down my spine as I looked out upon this colorful Tibetan village. His name is Prem Rawat. I would follow any path that I thought would lead me there and I prayed continually to find what I was looking for. He said. What came from this small child amazed everyone. He is now fifteen. and spoke to large crowds of thousands of people. I had not intended to travel to Kathmandu in order to trek to Everest or to smoke hashish in exotic dens. 18 . so much so. and his passions. all throughout Northern India. Shri Hans Ji Maharaj. As Patrick and I got to know each other. Prem Rawat. One star-studded evening in this Himalayan setting. also known as Maharaji. “Yes. I had probably forgotten where I was anyway. I said. the small eight-year-old child followed in his father’s footsteps to become a Teacher dedicated to imparting this precious teaching called Knowledge . One evening. something that his Teacher imparts to those who are thirsty and who sincerely want to know a Peace which comes from within. he said. Patrick said. this was no pleasure vacation either. I felt something very kind and comforting happening . I would have rather died in some cave in the Himalayas than have settled for some forlorn emptiness in a split-level house in suburban America. I thought about this as I leaned over to have my head shaved by a Tibetan barber. he would tell me more about himself. “I’m on my way to India to see my Teacher. but somehow the feelings entered my heart. “Would you like to join me on my trip to India?” Not having any pressing appointments. a Tibetan Doctor. I was deeply motivated to find someone who could direct me inward. while we were staring at a glorious full moon next to the backdrop of these Himalayan foothills. For a young woman used to country clubs and fancy hotels. Just wish I could afford a Sherpa to carry my backpack. so what’s the difference with a bit of schlepping. From the age of four.I was reading a book called The Third Eye by Lopsang Rampa. Indeed. who explained the connection between science and spirituality. traveled with his father. this young teacher. and I didn’t. Patrick spoke of Knowledge . that when his father passed. Much of what Patrick even said to me about this Knowledge went over my head. his life.” He then proceeded to take out a picture of a thirteen year old boy and showed it to me. sure!” At that point.
They already knew that my transformation was definitely progressing well. 19 . The next day we rented the best car in town along with an experienced driver. they made plans to stop in Kathmandu and visit with me for five days. In their itinerary. The Pokhara Valley lies 200 kilometers west of Kathmandu. Firstly. known as the jumping ground for the best trekking in Nepal. We drove to Pokhara. They loved it! We were all so happy to see each other. It was a 1969 Volkswagen station wagon. an avid photographer. I felt clean. who accompanied me to the airport to greet them. It is customary for the women to wear their wealth on their body. rugs and jewelry. it was an act of renouncing this physical attachment to my learned identity. documented passionately all of our experiences together in this unique setting. Patrick’s ability to translate helped Steve and Vera find some fabulous treasures. enriched with gorgeous lakes and surrounded by picturesque mountains. I met them at the airport with my shaven head. Mostly. Thirdly. Coincidently. And a shopping we did go. For me. No combs. and for the next five days. I was hoping that I might be headed toward a monk-like state of being at this time in my life. Steve. Secondly. We all spent the days on foot in the surrounding terraced foothills enjoying the beautiful February weather and appreciating the colorfully dressed Nepalese women wearing their saris. We got them checked into the Palace Hotel in Kathmandu. Steve and his wife Vera were making a trip around the world. they wanted to see the Tibetan tonkas (silk. and their amber and turquoise jewelry. as well as the heads of many Tibetan monks. and free in many ways. brushes or mirrors. Steve and Vera were also impressed with Patrick. We had set this meeting up before I even left New York. had I not seen it in this manner. I was traveling very light.Patrick’s head was shaven. male and female. that passed us on the paths each day walking to and from our little hut in a field of rice dried up rice paddies. they walked the few miles to our village each morning to visit us at our cute little thatched hut. my brother. which I never would have known. I didn’t have to worry if my hair looked a certain way or not. refreshed. hand-painted wall hangings used as focal points in Tibetan meditation). since they are art collectors and dealers. my head has a beautiful shape. To their surprise. made of mud and cow dung.
also having 20 . and the bottom line was that I couldn’t have gotten there by myself. My brother and sister-in-law continued on their trip around the world. Given the unbearable stench. It was common in the 1970’s for young people like Patrick and me to travel without much money. and he had nothing. that’s for sure. It was an exciting few days with my family. What is fair is fair. money was not the means that transported people there. a common problem while traveling in third world countries. Obviously. I kept entrusting Patrick with my life. The mystery of the East was so alluring that for many of us. a city in the Northeastern area of India. The diarrhea caused by dysentery. still in Kathmandu. results in people losing important salts and fluids from the body which can be fatal if the body dehydrates. benches and out the windows just like what you see in documentaries on public TV. with people taking you in to their homes. Sharing what I had was very natural. a direct route west to New Delhi. No amusement park ride. feeding you and wishing you well on your journey. There was more of a spiritual enchantment connected with the journey. I had already spent half of my original $100 in the first couple of weeks. Thank God I didn’t also have any vomiting and fever. I just learned how to hold my breath. the longing in my heart to know this inner place of self-love was driving me to learn more about Patrick’s teacher and to stay in the East to accomplish my goals. but helped a bit in the meantime. we then traveled by third-class trains across Northern India. I was also pretty sick with dysentery. We boarded a French freak bus (literally translated as a bus operated by French hippies enroute to India). Money is energy and the trade was my safety and my total well-being. Patrick helped me in all possible ways to get through not feeling well in this extremely unsympathetic setting and offered me some Ayurvedic herbal medicines. Patrick would never have asked me for a rupee. which tasted really awful. Patrick and I stayed with the driver for the trip back. Two weeks later. Of course.Steve got altitude sickness that evening. But the logistics of the plan was to get to India to see the teacher. Nothing ever in my reality would indicate what they felt like to actually travel on. I needed to use the bathroom often. and decided to fly back to Kathmandu with Vera. I know that they felt that I was in good hands. Patrick and I had $50 between us. By this time. From Patna. These trains were the dilapidated wooden ones with people hanging from racks.
) After a full week of more horrendously hot. “You will be sorry you were so close to this great monument and didn’t see it. my purpose in looking for a Teacher was to find out how to live this Peace from the inside out. Shah Jahan. Patrick. It was here in the Teacher’s ashram (shelter) that I met a man named Charanand.” he said. they’re incorrect. since most people missed the hole in the floor. one finds peace. fulfilling his wife’s dying wish by building a monument to their love. we slept overnight in New Delhi. So. If you take this facackta (Yiddish – you guess) mind to the most beautiful and externally peaceful place in the world. Her heartbroken husband spent approximately two decades. In the 21 . or a crowded Manhattan subway at rush hour in August. built the Taj Mahal as a memorial to his beloved wife. What carried me through that challenging week was quietly focusing inward in any way that I could imagine. who stayed brilliantly calm during this journey. and much of the money in the royal treasury. In 1631. (They just don’t make guys like this anymore. An emperor. even to Nepal and India. Later in the day. Thank God for my good balance. but the heaviest part of me was something that didn’t weigh an ounce. you still have your unnerving thoughts to distract you from the beauty. she died giving birth to their 14th child. I sheepishly consented. The biggest realization so far that I understood was that you can’t get away from your mind and the pain that it brings you. but mainly remember spending much of the afternoon looking for discreet places in the bushes to relieve myself of the constant diarrhea. no matter if I am in Maui on a cliff overlooking the sea. I did take a tour to learn about this incredible wonder of the world. If people think that by journeying to an exotic and far-off location. He answered the door when Patrick and I arrived after that grueling trip. when I was feeling better. crowded and unsanitary third class trains. I had been so anxious to leave the West and yet I took my mind with me. Despite my immense discomfort and nervous restlessness.to watch where I stepped. I tried very hard to distract myself by singing in my head every song I had ever memorized. Since I didn’t know how to really go inside and ignore my crazy mind. What a schlep it turned out to be! I was trying to learn how to travel light. insisted that we stop at the Taj Mahal.
which means the City of Love.” He spoke of Knowledge as a valuable seed already planted within. we walked a short distance to Prem Nagar. and I can help you find it. I sat just a few feet from him with my head tilted upward toward his pleasing face. making us all feel so good. chubby and dressed in a well-pressed white shirt and black pants. Though exhausted. Five hours later. Charanand told us to leave immediately for Prem Nagar. I could finally rest. In his talk. could see I was really tired. I remember asking the driver in my sign language to stop the bus. the sun was shinning through the eyes and smile of this magnificent being. which must be nourished with the proper attention. instantly quieting my unruly mind. I especially learned to love their very clean squat toilets! (As a matter of fact. almost for no reason at all. There was an excitement permeating the air and it was contagious. a meal was given. not having my intestines being rumbled about. The next day. since then I have squatted. took off my heavy backpack and laid down to rest. From the bus station in Haridwar. lovely and helpful. dusty bus without a bathroom. let me out a couple of times that day. Later that day. I did have my priorities. I felt so grateful to be still. and wait for me while I snuck behind a tree to do my business.middle of a gray dusty city. Everyone. as the Gods are believed to have left their footprints in Haridwar.) I found myself a futon on the women’s side of the ashram. He then spoke seriously of a boundless love that could be accessed right within inside of each of us. I was also relieved. He was very short. a small group of us eagerly filed up a narrow staircase to a rooftop garden. high-pitched voice took hold of me. but they could not always be accommodated. Our bus was bound for Haridwar or the Gateway to the Gods. 22 . the Teacher joked around. The food was wonderful. enjoyed. We headed North of Delhi in an old. and the water tasted delicious. His thick accent and prepubescent. another ashram of this Teacher. more than they were already doing. His message was simple: “The peace that you are looking for is within you. to sit and listen to the Teacher speak. we arrived. in more ways than you can imagine. thereby improving my elimination system tenfold. one of the seven holiest places according to Hindu mythology. just before the sun was setting. Later that day. the young Teacher arrived on a motorbike to the overwhelming excitement of a small group of people. and most importantly. In the morning.
I had the opportunity to ask him when I could receive Knowledge and he said as soon as the program was over. spoke to a crowd of more than 100. Actually. I was then given the opportunity to receive initiation. When asked why he doesn’t charge any money for this teaching. We said our goodbyes while I was picking potatoes in the garden for the evening meal. He allowed the Western devotees to sit on the stage with him. but I did feel surrendered to the love that was in the air. We hugged and then he left. which took place in a small room in the ashram. ten of us sat quietly as we were introduced to that deepest part of our timeless selves. They would be sold at the market to people saying prayers while throwing the petals into the river. so he had to trek to the western border with Pakistan in order to begin his trip back to England. Patrick’s visa in India was about to expire. also known as Maharaji. I felt stronger and stronger. My heart was ready to catch the magic of this moment and it did. In everything I did at Prem Nagar. Not knowing if I would ever see him again. I felt inspired by watching his dancer-like movements as I watched him walk through the gates of Prem Nagar. which is exactly the way it happened. I was tenderly being healed from the pain of my own mind. I knew that everything was perfect. I walked to the rose garden next to the Ganges River to pick rose petals. still a long journey back to his other life. It’s all about awareness of a feeling that resides inside of the hearts of us all. I knew in that moment in time that what I was truly searching for was really close. Between my deep prayers and the scenario of how we met. I knew that this young man was going to be my Teacher. I didn’t understand Hindi. he said. “How can I charge you for something you already have?” 23 . With each new day.000 people. I just felt gratitude for how he had guided me all those weeks. His Knowledge is a practical way to attune the heart to the strings of love.You may be wondering how such a young man could be so wise. what he imparts has nothing to do with age. There was to be a large festival in a nearby location and everyone at Prem Nagar was involved in the preparation. It’s a good thing that there is no charge for this teaching. Prem Rawat. Early every morning. In an afternoon session.
they sat in rows on benches very straight and extremely quiet. I could sense that I was more patient with myself and others. which still hangs in my dining room. a refugee school and community formed and directed by Richen Dolma Taring. I felt like a baby looking at myself and the world with a set of new eyes.After the Knowledge session. Each morning. I had prepared little drawings and just had them repeat some words which the drawings represented. Taring if I could help in this refugee school in some capacity. Mrs. Coming from a royal Tibetan family. without distractions of fear which my mind could so easily create. but the experience has never left my mind. She conveyed throughout great kindness. It wasn’t until I saw the look that the teacher gave to them that I understood there would be no fooling around in this school. I found a village of Tibetan children called Happy Valley. Then I would spend part of each day with the children. 24 . He was a serious Tonka artist in-training and before I left Happy Valley. My shoulders. After school each day I would have a meal of potato stew and chat with the fifteen year old son of the family I stayed with. As I sat in her small office in the spring of 1973 overlooking quaint window views of snowcovered Himalayan peaks far in the distance. hardiness. usually very tight and held up to my ears. My breath became fuller. I knew that I needed to practice the techniques in order to maintain this feeling and for benefit to be derived. I asked Mrs. I hiked up to the local Buddhist monastery to practice Knowledge . I read her autobiography about her intensely harsh and narrow escape. My order of priorities became more one-pointed. “Perhaps I could teach some English to the children?” She welcomed my help and found me a place to stay with a local family. Since that time in India. humor and of course. I took a month to travel on my own. who is called The Daughter of Tibet. Taring was the first Tibetan woman to speak and write English. actually dropped down about an inch. I couldn’t get extremely creative. immense faith obviously characteristic of her people and something I certain want to emulate. We shared some long conversations in the night. Dressed in little white shirts and blue shorts. more precious and appreciated. I felt a very subtle change that gave me a sense of an altered state of knowing and it felt peaceful. Before leaving India and going back to the West. I shared a room with the grandfather of the family who owned a nearby Chai shop. She escaped Tibet with the Dali Lama in 1959 during a cruel campaign by the Chinese to eradicate the Tibetan people and their particular spiritual culture of Tibetan Buddhism. he handed me a small painting of Buddha. I said.
many of whom were junkies would walk me to the subway in the evening when I left the center.One of the songs on the musical CD. The parents of the children in this daycare center. I ended up teaching in a daycare center in Spanish Harlem under the worst possible conditions. I also met with Maharaji devotees who lived in an ashram in Miami. It was amazing that these children never did hurt themselves. My experience with Knowledge put a bubble of protection around me. I connected with others who also practiced this Knowledge and within a couple of days found a place to live in a setting that would inspire me to stay focused. we were all out the door. On the subway rides to work. very quickly with those two other women on either side of me. I remember feeling extremely protected from any possible danger. peace and beauty of living in India would be ripped away as soon as I embarked on the journey back to the West. That means so much when you are living so close to the edge. Just off of Amsterdam Avenue on West 73rd Street. Fortunately. I felt welcomed and inspired by others practicing Knowledge . who had just permanently moved to South Florida. I reflect on how important it is for Tibetans to one day be able to return to their native land and restore the ancient religion and culture. Their playground would be covered in the broken liquor bottles from the homeless people who lived there. easing me back to my culture with a new way of seeing and living. I knew that being armed with this Knowledge would be a powerful tool on many levels. The simplicity. This Knowledge would soften the blow. accompanying this book is called White Mountain . I still rarely feel worried or fearful. I never experienced any worries or fears for my life. I left New York City for Miami. fresh orange juice and the ocean. I immediately found a 25 . I have much more important things to do. In less than a year. I lived in a three-level townhouse ashram with six other devotees. as soon as I returned to New York. In visiting my parents. They invited me to live there. Each morning the children came hungry and poorly clothed for the New York winter. I lived and slept in a room the exact size of three sleeping bags lined up one by one. It is reminiscent of my time in Happy Valley. so after our morning meditation and a quick breakfast. I got very close. Everyone worked. I enjoyed the warm weather.
I couldn’t resist. welcomed me with opened arms. a small southern city in those days called Miama.part-time secretarial job with the Mental Health Association a few blocks away. Miami. 26 .
Chapter Three: The Cancer Diagnosis Every patient carries his or her own doctor inside. laser. I would not have had any idea that I was sick if the cancer had not shown up on my annual Pap test. After I did. two years after my experiences in the Nepal and India and at the age of 29. 27 . Combined conization usually refers to a procedure started with a laser and completed with a cold-knife technique. who said I should come in and have another test taken so they could double-check the results. The latter is called the loop electrosurgical excision procedure or large loop excision of the transformatio n zone. After that would be a conization — defined as excision of a cone-shaped or cylindrical wedge from the cervix uteri that includes the transformation zone and all or a portion of the endocervical canal. Techniques for diagnostic and therapeutic conization are virtually identical. First he wanted me to have cryosurgery. As we all know in Western Medicine. the doctor said that most likely I would need a hysterectomy. and for conservative treatment of cervical intraepithelial neoplasia. In 2004. The extent of excision must be adjusted according to individual needs. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. The second test brought the same results: it was cervical cancer.000 women had been castrated. such things as laser conization can be excisional or destructiv e by vaporization . Showing no pain or other symptoms. Conization can be performed with a scalpel (cold-knife conization). or ever be able to have children. MD In February 1975. because my test results were so severe. Albert Schweitzer. 615. which had come back from the lab marked “Class V: Conclusive for Malignancy. I am grateful to the doctor who found the cancer.000 women were given a Hysterectomy and 400. ” I received the news from a concerned receptionist at my gynecologist’s office. especially with anything invasive. for excluding microinvasive carcinomas. or electrosurgical loop. But. a commonly used in-office procedure for the treatment of a variety of benign and malignant lesions. which unfortunately is a common operation undergone by hundreds of thousands of women each year. I spent the next few days wondering whether I would die. Cervical intraepithelial neoplasia (CIN) is now used to describe what was once called dysplasia. Conization is used for the definitive diagnosis of squamous or glandular intraepithelial lesions.
young and seemingly healthy. The nurse’s insistence fueled for me an entirely different agenda. “Jill. the tissue on both sides of the cervix. and exploring the possible mental and emotional causes of this illness. “Could I give natural methods a try for a month and be retested then?” I asked. He looked condescendingly at me. without any eye contact he said. right foods. even though according to their understanding. I’d never challenged any authority figure before. I’d always been an obedient. It’s funny. A partial hysterectomy is removal of just the upper portion of the uterus. my heart beating a mile a minute. I refused to be around anyone who manifested fear. “Jill. I finally just told the nurse to stop calling me. leaving the cervix intact. listening to my doctor describe something hidden within my own body that had the power to kill me — or at the very least to substantially change me. at 29. The uterus may be completely or partially removed. and the upper part of the vagina.” As he turned his back on me and walked out of his office. Someone from the office staff still called a few times that week to remind me that the doctor needed to do more tests and they encouraged me to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I honestly don’t think we can work with you. That was just the kind of panic I didn’t need to hear. There I was. The whole thing didn’t feel right. I can still see myself standing across from this doctor. A total hysterectomy is removal of the entire uterus and the cervix.” I left the gynecologist’s office somewhat shaken. “If you won’t do what I recommend then don’t bother to come back. this operation was unthinkable. it was a matter of life and death. and the tubes and ovaries may also be removed at the time of hysterectomy. you might die if you ignore what the doctor is telling you. never having any children. A radical hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus. thoughts and ideas. I wasn’t going to allow him or any other doctor to do anything invasive. Intuitively I knew that healing could only take place where there was a feeling of gentle nurturing and infusing oneself with healing life force. For me.according to the Center for Disease Control. No one needs to hear that more than once. law-abiding person. Probably if the doctor had gently explained everything to me and 28 . It made more sense to me to think about strengthening my immune system first through exercise. It became imperative to get beyond those negative concepts. I truly felt that my body would tell me what it really required. We really want you in the hospital this week.” the nurse said during these phone calls.
I actually felt perfectly fine. Although I was a lacto-vegetarian. but not with the methods used to correct the problem. I forged on with my plan. I knew that just treating the symptom (irregular cancerous cells) would not be enough. 29 . I’m very feisty in many ways. mostly because I continued to feel a greater direction than even the doctor’s. Dale about my diagnosis. Determination and focused intent.D. since the imbalance that created it would find new territory to invade and destroy. along with prayer and love for oneself. Ph. Roosters wake us up. It’s my Leo nature. Certainly the Pap test was telling me something. and on his advice I telephoned Michio Kushi. who had just returned from a trip to China. a nationally known authority on Macrobiotics and founder of the Kushi Institute in Massachusetts. I believe in miracles. My Teacher says that the greatest miracle is the breath. So. Using natural means to cleanse and rejuvenate this depression in my reproductive system made overall sense to me. I just needed some time to heal myself…. Kushi what I could do to heal myself of the cancer.. I started there. which was guiding me each step of the way. Continuing to live my life swimming upstream. I told Dr. I have always wanted to take charge. My confidence was building. As down to Earth and practical as I am. I decided that I would use non-invasive strategies to improve my body and mind’s health and vitality.then accepted my need to have a couple of months to try my way. You would think that it would have made sense to the medical doctors as well. will do more for healing than anything else. Stagnation and a lack of vitality had bred in the cervical area of my body. I asked Mr. and was curious about Oriental Medicine. I’m a Rooster by the Chinese Astrological Calendar. I was taking a six-week course entitled The Theory of Oriental Medicine with Ralph Alan Dale. I found no naturopathic resources available in Miami in 1975. so I decided not to even think about any of it. except when I thought about the results of the tests. had dabbled in Hatha Yoga. I agreed with the diagnosis. time without fear and time to rest. Coincidentally. Was this asking too much? I didn’t think so. during this time. and I also grew up watching I Love Lucy. I would have been more open to hearing what he had to say. hoping to boost my immune system and give my body an opportunity to put up a good fight. Even though I was disheartened by his refusal to understand my point of view. I also maintain a strong connection with the magical qualities of life.
and we can either move in the direction towards health. How Can Macrobiotics Help Me? In Western medicine. emotional and spiritual health. Macrobiotics is a way of life.D. the rice became a liquid. In macrobiotics. Whether you consider yourself to be healthy. It allows us to understand everything in the universe according to laws of change and harmony. They 30 . the sleeping bag on the floor and the rice bowl in my lap. What is Macrobiotics? By Stacy Adkins. which need to be suppressed or eradicated. Chewed many times in a relaxed and meditative atmosphere. Each is a direction.Mr. When we are out of balance. He said that my blood would become purified on this diet. By applying this understanding to our own lives. More important than anything. we have lost this intuitiveness and have come to rely on others to dictate our lives. The macrobiotic way of eating and living has been naturally practiced by traditional societies around the globe for millennia. I visualized this predigested rice bringing life giving and healing energy to my body and mind. When we live in alignment with nature and our environment. eating habits. at each meal. I remember the little apartment. they used their intuition to guide their lives. Rather. In addition. I prayed and taught myself to think of the food as my medicine. we are in balance and can live our lives fully. I steamed the vegetables or sautéed them in small amounts of cold-pressed oil. and miso soup. I added a small amount of fruit to my meals. I gradually added sweet potatoes. eventually a disease state evolves. Kushi suggested I immediately start on an extreme diet that required me to eat nothing but cooked brown rice for ten days. or in the direction towards illness. health and disease are not considered to be static entities. I eliminated all spices and flavorings except for tamari (soy sauce). These signs and symptoms should not be viewed as enemies invading our bodies. we can more fully align with nature to achieve harmony and balance. seeds. Macrobiotics seeks to teach us to recover this intuition so that we may rely on ourselves to maintain our health and overall well-being day by day. you can begin to move in the direction of health. beans. M. arising from within. activity and lifestyle. In this day and age. If we ignore them. About a month later. there is a positive image of what it means to be a vibrant healthy person. or have a degenerative or even lifethreatening illness. This will lead to better physical. our bodies gently alert us with symptoms. they are part of us. macrobiotics can help heal our societal and environmental ills. After ten days. seaweeds. mental. These peoples didn’t have to analyze everything they were doing. Also. Macrobiotics can guide us to make better choices in our food. green vegetables. Now that’s a prescription I can live with. the definition of health is the apparent absence of symptoms and disease.
In Western medicine there is not this kind of trust and certainly no patience to allow the body to heal itself given accurate nurturing opportunities. In my introduction to Oriental Medicine. his confident demeanor. When he saw that I was worried. 1 Dr. but he was not licensed to practice medicine here. probably about 65 at the time. After my treatments. the body is made up of 14 meridians. No. or pathways. Dr. whom I would visit twice a week for the next month. was also a medical doctor in China. but with situations that appeared safe and right. it didn’t taste very good. The herbs were part of my medicine and he was the doctor. and the long history of success for common. Felix Marquand.are there to urge us to make the proper adjustments in our diet and lifestyle so that we may bring ourselves back into a balanced. nonemergency ailments. Marquand. resulting in illness. This was one of them. but I trusted his eyes. No problem. in his broken English. not with everyone. not just from a superficial level. but one that reaches the source(s) of the imbalance. If one or more of these pathways becomes blocked. but in serious cases that were not progressing in a positive manner. I never asked him what the herbs were though I’ve since learned that Chinese medicine uses many different plants and even animal substances to treat illnesses. Oriental Medicine automatically attunes the flow of energy. healthy state. passing through all the organ and gland systems. Once a slight weakness is found within a certain meridian that corresponds to any organ system. would say.” Without knowing why. “Worry no good. The energy flowing along these pathways travels throughout the body in a prescribed manner. Dr. He was a local acupuncturist and herbalist. I just believed him. diet and herbs. I had been very trustful all of my life. Dale also referred me to Dr. I fix. According to the theory behind Acupuncture. it became clear that the doctors in China would always begin with the gentler and less invasive modalities of Acupuncture. the movement of chi may become sluggish or overenergized. I learned that in 31 . There is an inherent trust in the workings of the body and its desire to become healthy again. and the body realigns itself. they would also perform surgery. of electrical energy called chi or qi. Marquand. Their ancient history of using Acupuncture and herbs gave them the confidence that these harmonically balanced procedures would have the effect of healing the person. Marquand would serve me herbal tea and a hard little ball of herbs — about a half-inch in diameter — which I would chew and swallow. Dr.
its approach does not get to the source or give enough attention to ways to prevent disease. 32 . it is city living.traditional Chinese Medical practice the doctor only gets paid when he keeps his patients well. pollution. Yoga.000-year-old medicine. he had practiced for the past forty years. eyes. Their training causes these doctors to be very sensitive without using any external equipment. since it treats the manifestation of symptoms. I referred many people to him as well. I have come to the conclusion that Western medicine is the best for emergencies. For most other medical problems – give me Acupuncture. and serious brain surgeries. I gained a tremendous confidence in Dr. Although Asian people also become ill with many kinds of diseases. take me straight to the hospital. Most of my experiences with Acupuncture have been totally painless — although I have felt a slight twinge at times. Most of the medicines are used to suppress the symptoms. Prayer. Of course. In comparing these approaches. Guided Imagery. Juice Fasting. Marquand. ears. but for chronic problems. I must say that I didn’t have this kind of confidence in the Western approach to medicine. Can you imagine this standard being applied to the Western medical model? The specific placement of very thin needles along these unseen channels unlocks and alters the flow. What makes Oriental Medicine so helpful is that the treatment can diagnose and therefore prevent diseases long before the organ or glandular system becomes so toxic that it can be diagnosed by Western standards. I had approximately eight treatments during that month. I paid him $5. it actually doesn’t severely hurt. mostly. which at the time I met him. Naturopathy. bringing equilibrium. and improving the general condition of the body. reducing pain and swelling.00 per visit and straightened up his office for the discounted rate. copying the fast food eaten in the West and general stress that causes these sicknesses. Just using their hands. Energy Healing and Metaphysical Affirmation s. mostly because he had great confidence in himself and this 6. not heal them. Meditation. orthopedics. Colon Cleansing. Raw and Living Food Programs. In an emergency. the acupuncturist is able to sense six pulses in each wrist. instead of getting to the root cause of the imbalance. which correspond to the inner workings of each organ system. This is what really impressed me most and still does.
such as: inflammation. Cayce used to go into a trance. keeping to my meditation practice. not just a physical workout. kidney. but they also noticed that they could sit more comfortably and longer in meditation. Edgar Cayce demonstrated the uncanny ability to put himself into some kind of self-induced sleep state by lying down on a couch. For forty-three years of his adult life. closing his eyes. constipation and liver. If you do twenty minutes of basic Yoga each day of your life with gratitude and caring. From this state he could respond to questions as diverse as. sleeping peacefully and living a physically active life. you have no choice. Listen more to your own body than to anyone else. There are never enough hours in the day to give this kind of caring to oneself. Yoga is a way of life. Ancient people of India meticulously observed the movements of animals and nature and then developed a scientific discipline of physical. from where he could determine specific treatments for each patient.I also placed heated castor oil packs (see Resources) on my abdomen for about forty minutes a day. eating life-giving living and raw foods. even the yoga instructor. in the most classical sense. holding the position as breath filled and emptied the body. you will benefit. I feel better than when I am not. body and spirit. the legendary clairvoyant and psychic healer. Yoga. Not only did they see improvement in their physical condition. must be simple and meditative. His prescriptions were later crossreferenced and compiled into books so that people like me could use them to heal themselves. “What are the secrets of the universe?” to “How can I remove a wart?” His responses to these questions came to be called readings and contain insights so valuable that even to this day individuals have found practical help for everything from maintaining a wellbalanced diet and improving human relationships to overcoming life-threatening illnesses and experiencing a closer walk with God. This state of relaxation and meditation enabled him to place his mind in contact with all time and space. Edgar Cayce endorsed abdominal castor oil packs as a home remedy for all types of problems involving lymph flow. if you become faced with a unique situation. congestion. which moves you through this world 33 . and pelvic disorders. Yoga means union of the mind. I had read that Edgar Cayce. mental and spiritual exercise based on many of the same type of positions. Yoga is a dance. The same goes for drinking fresh juices. had used this method to treat cervical as well as other cancers. I know that when I am doing a Yoga practice at least every other day. and folding his hands over his stomach. however. There should be no struggle.
To augment the balancing and dietary aspects of Macrobiotics and Oriental Medicine. only showing some pre-cancerous lesions on my cervix. I knew that time was now on my side. Much yoga teacher training today is quickly taught to people who have not incorporated Yoga into the larger picture of a truly Yogic Lifestyle. Usually they practiced Yoga and Tai Chi. This time. He wanted to perform cryosurgery. the temple of God. 34 . “Jill. the results were better.with graceful animation. move fluids. but remarkably improved. I found another gynecologist to test me. However. which meant freezing my cervix to slow the growth of the abnormal cells. after my pleading for more time to use a natural process of detoxification. I learned about therapeutic massage or bodywork. Excessive marketing through the media has put a monetary value on something that has been taught for thousands of years for no compensation. I had always been attracted to people who knew this art. thus beginning an even deeper process of healing. and open sources of emotional trauma for release. it’s still not normal. he finally agreed just to give me a Pap test. along with being more conscious about their diet. I knew that the healing touch of a caring person could calm the nerves. relax the muscles. keeping the focus on taking excellent care of this human body. This doctor was not much happier with my decision to forgo standard treatment than the first had been. The trend to study Yoga has become quite fashionable – which in some ways gets the message out there – but with mixed and confusing concepts of its true healing value. I was convinced my cancer was in remission and that I was on the right path. One month after the initial diagnosis of malignant cervical cancer.” That was enough of an encouraging sign for me. but the time needed consciousness attached to it. He said. They seemed to be more in touch with themselves.
are the only attainments truly important in this life. I planned not only to attend this event in Caracas. proved once again to be transformative and full of inspiration and exhilaration. Mark grew up in Curacao. Venezuela. We sang. but also to stay on in South America to travel and to rest. I heard that my Teacher would be speaking at a weekend event in Caracas. the laws of nature and the feeling of oneness within. Like anything in our lives. He speaks English. Prem Rawat’s inspirational example pointed me deeper and deeper inward to that inner realm filled with utmost clarity. Since Mark’s mother lived in Caracas. I’m not looking to live to be 100. we just need to focus and take the necessary steps to attain our goals. beyond the facades and roles 35 . If you think that something is going to be hard. we knew that we could stay with her during the program with our teacher. gratitude and understanding of how to enjoy my life more and more. Harmony and attunement to the laws of life. and we made love to the feeling of who we really are. and I booked our flight and prepared for our journey. when we desire to accomplish something of great importance. then it will be. He is a living example of someone who has perfected this process of getting pleasure from each breath and trusting the beauty of following the feeling of the heart. His presence in my life had turned from crucial to critical. I didn’t want to think about anything that would take my attention from the love within and the steps I needed to take to be with that love. a Caribbean island near Venezuela. Dutch. Carl Simonton Sometime in May of 1975. an infusion of unconditional love. My boyfriend. He helped me to get through this difficult period of my life. Please let me make this very clear. I’m living now and enjoying each day with greater awareness. Once again. Love is the guide. but it did give me the clarity and the courage I needed to pursue what I knew to be true. I also was reminded that through the practice of this Knowledge I could experience an unyielding strength. O. I couldn’t have found a better person. Without any hesitation. the healer and the destination. while he was also dealing with his own health issues. Spanish. Mark Bonaparte. This Knowledge did not heal my cancer. Seeing and hearing him in person was what I really longed for. As a traveling and healing companion. The weekend with Maharaji. we danced.Chapter Four: South American Journey Healing is simply attempting to do more of those things that bring joy and fewer of those things that bring pain. and Yiddish. making this whole journey more financially feasible.
You never saw two women move so quickly to take shelter in the closest shed. Rhea’s greatest fear had come true although she tried very hard to keep her son from danger. Meditation came easily. Cuzco. Now we can laugh at the telling of the story of el tigre. Luckily. I felt as if nature was cupping us in the palm of its hands. we slept outdoors using a mosquito net under the clear jungle skies. while one of my closest friends. we found a forest ranger to drive us deep within the jungle to an old abandoned coffee plantation where we could camp for a week. We had been warned that there were jaguars and to be very alert to those sounds. journeyed with me by public bus to Guatopo National Forest. Rhea Melrose. I knew then that my so-called disease would go its way in its own time. Rhea startled me awake. Unless the planet goes first. There was an innocuous guard who would come to check on us from time to time. It was as if time just stood still. I tried to be present. While Cuzco was in the hospital before and after surgery. After the weekend. giving us the divine food sustaining us in the moment firstly within ourselves and then with this special person. Mark stayed on with his mom. He died within a few days of the fall. The profoundly simple and undemanding days rolled by. but thankfully. prepared simple food and listened curiously to sounds of the jungle. we spent our nights and even days just meditating together and praying. One evening. while we explored. let alone a major concussion. but at the time we were very frightened. it was impossible for me to truly understand her experience. She always knew that even the slightest scrape could be life-threatening. Rhea was healing from the tragic and very recent death of her four-year-old son. I plan and hope to live to a ripe old age. who had been born a hemophiliac and died from a fall. rested. we found that guava and yucca grew close by. while he was undergoing surgery. located a couple of hours southwest of Caracas. We had not brought much fresh food with us. 36 . It had become a time to breathe and absorb the bio-energetic life force around us for the purpose of healing. Not being a mother at the time. It was a long night. “Hear what?” She said that it sounded like a big cat. Mostly. She had stayed in my apartment after her son’s accident. “Did you hear that?” Still in sleep fog.that we play. conscious and as caring as possible. I said.
The joints are so tight that even the thinnest of knife blades cannot be forced between the stones. soaking in mineral hot springs and sleeping in primitive dwellings. who now were in high school keeping her busy as a soccer mom. an important city of the Inca culture. This precision 37 . a 15th-century Inca stone city. baths. Life does go on. which cover nearly 400 square miles of desert. At this point. Etched in the surface of the desert pampa sand about 300 hundred figures made of straight lines. storage rooms and some 150 houses. By this time my strength was resurfacing slowly. geometric shapes most clearly visible from the air. The jewel of our trip was visiting Machu Picchu. back to the states. we just wanted to take in as much as possible without distraction. I began to feel more and more alive.At this point. After this jungle journey. temples. and taking buses and trains. Nature spoke to both of us about life and about death with every breath that we consciously took. we just rested and prayed for ourselves and others. we were getting ready to really travel. Archaeologists believe the cloud-shrouded Machu Picchu ruins. invisible from below and accessible only by bus from Aguas Calientes. we continued hitching until we were able to get on a train to Cuzco. Walking through ancient ruins. an ancient city south of Lima. adopted two young sisters from Mexico. no more than 12. perched atop a rocky ridge high in the Andes Mountains. Rhea continued on alone. They were supposedly built by an ancient civilization called the Nazca. doesn’t it? I traveled on to Lima. The feeling of that mystical energy from this and other regions of Peru kept me focused on the magic that I was feeling from within myself. who spoke English quite well and dazzled us with his knowledge of the history of his people. Our guide on one of the days in Cuzco was a child. From Nazca. One of the marvels of the city is the architectural precision with which its structures were designed and built. Most of the buildings are of solid granite blocks. and was teaching English in California. Peru with Mark. were used by the Incas as a secret ceremonial city. with their palaces. The blocks fit together perfectly without traces of mortar. although none of the blocks are the same size and have multiple faces. Feeling the intricate interrelationships of the elements of life on Earth. Our first stop was Nazca. mostly hitchhiking. cut with bronze or stone tools and smoothed with sand. which is famous for mysterious lines created from stones. I ran into Rhea a few years ago and found out that she had married.
beginning to call forth a profound sense of gratitude and creating a template that would form the basis of how I would live from that moment on. they have managed through the centuries to survive the rigors of an incredibly harsh mountain environment. legumes (beans). on moving down to ordinary altitudes. it’s easy to realize that life is not just one dimensional and the healing that was happening in my life was taking shape on many levels. Seaweed provides all 56 minerals and trace elements required for the body’s physiological functions in quantities greatly exceeding those of land plants. Throughout this unique trip. Far from suffering disaster. raw nuts and seeds. as no doubt they had chewed them before the days of the Incas.impressed and inspired me. Now remember. The coca shrub has been cultivated since time immemorial. I knew that I needed to maintain the highest level of nutrition in order to retain my energy. By witnessing these amazing structures. were easily absorbed from these sea vegetable foods. To see the manner in which they live. One day. so close to the earth. The native people. I can almost smell those cobblestone streets and thin mountain air as I recall and record my fantastic journey 31 years ago. which consisted of whole grains. Nor do the Andean leaf-chewers appear to become addicted. we are already 8. to the continuing amazement of visitors. encouraged me to follow their example in any way I could. called Quechuan. Important trace minerals. often absent in the typical American diet. fresh vegetables. and as they continue to chew them today.000 or more feet up and the air was very thin. my eyes fixated even more on the people than the ancient structures. I maintained a simple organic vegetarian macrobiotic diet. I was witnessing my own transformation by reshaping my appreciation. are the descendants of the original Inca people. As with each moment of our lives. I chewed on ginseng root during that entire day. All along my journey. Mark and I decided to do a bit more serious hiking. natives chew coca leaves. 38 . and they were delicious as well. many of them give up their coca without apparent hardship. I even remember chewing on some coca leaves. I needed perhaps to see a bigger picture through the history of man in order to become more humble and accrue the confidence I needed to be patient with my own life and its processes. sea vegetables and fruit.
The next day.While in Peru. The Reverend Sri Swami Satchidananda. We most definitely enjoyed our time with Victor’s family. My health appeared good considering that the rugged traveling was a bit taxing. but looked more like thirty-five. I had the opportunity to travel with Swami Satchidananda. he received hundreds of invitations to speak at conferences. Mark placed fresh chopped garlic on the bottom of my feet to draw out the fever and prepared some chamomile tea straight from the garden to soak my feet in. The circumstances presented an opportunity to allow the body to finally heal without the use of 39 . This had been a serious healing crisis. who treated Winston Churchill and many others using herbs and foot baths. By later that evening I broke out a high fever and a vile rash all over my body. we then returned to Lima to fly back to Venezuela. medical groups. In the beginning of Swami’s tour in Valencia. staying in their beautiful large home and enjoying the typical Peruvian lifestyle and lush surroundings. Continuing on to a few other Peruvian cities. Mark and I had been reading about the famous French herbalist Maurice Mességué. introduced us to his family in Arequipa surrounded by volcanoes with a climate of eternal spring. whom we had met in Lima. By the next day the fever had broken and the rash subsided. remains well known for his combination of practical wisdom and spiritual insight. one evening I performed on my guitar and sang a devotional Hindu song. one of the most respected Yoga Masters of our time. His message of peace. I soaked in a hot mineral mud bath with him. Victor Tallevera. Mark and I also visited and stayed with some other devotees of our Teacher. and a much-loved teacher. It could have been the mud and the heat that drew poisons out of my body. A very dedicated teacher. It could have been my body’s readiness to shed the final toxicity of the disease. He was sixty-five. We said our goodbyes and returned to our accommodations with some friends in another town a couple of hours away. still resonates worldwide. colleges. toward the end of this healing journey. giggling and playing like children. In Valencia. the founder of Integral Yoga. which can easily occur during any detoxification process. both individual and universal. I was amazed at how youthful he appeared at the time. Our journey was now approaching its final chapter. and houses of worship around the globe. Venezuela.
40 . I was most definitely thrilled and relieved at the same time. I didn’t want other people’s fears to blind me from going in the direction which made the most common sense to me. I have had check ups. FL. while they were doing some networking in Hollywood. Many years later. Mark and I went our separate ways shortly after our adventure in South America. Aaron. “What cancer?” I had forgotten that I never told her about way back then. I few years ago. many times with different doctors. One doctor. the man who delivered my son. You don’t need a cheering section. she said. showed any interest in my story. 15 years later. The smartest thing that I did during this time was not to tell too many people. And the timing was perfect. and only one doctor. Since that time. He found that the Pap test results were completely normal. mentioning that he had just lost a patient to cervical cancer who was 28. We are friends and still have contact to this day. Those memories are still vivid in my mind as well as his. Anxious to know the score. about my cancer. actually threw me out of his office while screaming at me. After a few days.inhibitors. I felt incredible. I made an appointment with the second gynecologist. and how dare I tell him such a thing. Mark. when I mentioned to my mother that I was going to write a book about how I healed myself of cancer. especially family. this doctor did not show any interest in how my body could change. I don’t think I could have had a better friend to see me through that challenge. just one good friend. met my son. I am so grateful for his support during that difficult time in my life. such as drugs. we had completely run out of money and we were ready to return home to Miami. Sad to say.
to my work in the world and to my grateful involvement with a great awareness and appreciation of the preciousness of this life. Perhaps I needed to learn something from having this cancer and once learned. Dr. colon cleansing and other alternative modalities as well. Besides enjoying Maharaji and his teachings. Certainly.Chapter Five: My Miracle Child Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven. the founders of this philosophical. Before long we moved in together on a boat that he was living on in Fort Lauderdale. I strongly believe that we bring into our lives situations that allow us to both learn and move on. I also knew that the challenge was certainly not over. an inability to properly eliminate and its spreading the toxicity to other organs. originally from Brooklyn. I went back to a life that I would create. Norman Walker. One evening I noticed a young fellow who had just moved to Miami from Buffalo. we also were very much into health and healing. The teachings were basic and there was no way 41 . very inspired by Mitchell. New York. and Paavo Airola. maybe I no longer needed the cancer. I became He didn’t let anything get in the way of his practice of the Mitchell and I began to spend some time together. It seemed that many of my acquaintances were also learning about massage. Many of us would meet each evening for an hour to remind each other of the importance of practicing what we had been shown. lessons that would remain with me for life. had also been involved with Maharaji for three or four years and seemed to really be enjoying his experience with the Knowledge. or not learn and get stuck. I was adhering to an excellent Macrobiotic diet. spiritual and dietary movement that incorporat ed a Macrobiotic lifestyle. Knowledge . and still doesn’t. juice fasting. Mitchell Schneider. I would face a lifetime of potential cancers or other dis-eases that could manifest in this fragile human body. These teachers were all in agreement that many diseases were the result of the uncleanness of the bowels. by this time and even studying formally with Michio and Aveline Kushi. Our little community of devotees was growing and changing all the time. illness is a harsh but crystalline reality. We were reading books like Back to Eden by Jethro Kloss and other interesting writers such as Professor Arnold Ehret. Robert Pollok While pleased with my success. I could now go out and truly live this life to the fullest — without the fear of disease — or even death. endocrine and circulatory systems. Since I had accomplished so much from this cancer.
but had long been forgotten or ignored. and. but I evened out a little debt from that Volkswagen Beetle I had lost money on in the Virgin Islands in 1973). As my human body became even more important than ever. My parents got off easy — the entire party for these 100 people cost them $350. I must admit that we got through the whole thing pretty graciously. the Father of Modern Medicine. I prepared myself during those precious nine months of my pregnancy. I felt my child move for the first time while at a Little River Band Concert in Miami. Mitchell and I were struggling on many different levels: money. I was thirty-two years old and knew that this was the opportunity I had been waiting for all of my life. with a great vegetarian feast at a friend’s beautiful home in Miami. and about our families’ eventual reaction. Mitchell and I did marry when I was eight months pregnant.00. I wore a lovely tiered gauze white cotton dress and Mitchell wore a simple Chinese qi (Tai Chi outfit). (I didn’t think about it way back then. These teachings were taught by Hippocrates. “If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise. I was completely elated on most levels. two and a half years after they wanted to give me a hysterectomy . carrying the child of a man whom I had technically just met.” A short six months into Mitchell’s and my new relationship. When I was four months pregnant. just a bit nervous about the unsure feelings about our relationship that were being generated. Looking back. Mitchell was working in concert production and we attended many concerts during that time. 42 . and learned how to keep my emotions in check and my head screwed on right. It was a lovely wedding for a hundred of my friends and relatives. Mitchell. I sang a love song that I had written for the occasion. I became pregnant. questions about whether we would stay together. I ate the best possible vegetarian foods for mothers-tobe. It still amazes me that medical doctors are not taught anything about nutrition and how to detox the body naturally in their schools. He said. We both went barefoot. not too little and not too much. we would have found the safest way to health. He had just come from living a celibate life in an ashram. didn’t have the same joyful reaction.to argue their validity. get married or not. But here I was. most relevant…what it really meant to bring life into this world. then twenty-five. understandably . found out how to take care of my breasts so that breastfeeding would be as natural as possible.
and I almost died. my uterus shattered. Aaron was the brother of Moses. 43 . Abraham. The doctor was held up in rush hour traffic for two hours. I gladly put them aside. The next day I asked our landlord what was under that particular area of the bedroom. I loved that name. I ended up with a C-section and it took the doctor an hour and a half to sew me up. make lots of milk and nurse on demand. three months.” We immediately moved his bed. What does a good student do when a teacher stands before her or him? I was all ears.” We had a bedroom. Thank God my son. Aaron. he had his first fever. Igor. a medium and a psychic healer. stood before me with his thick gray hair standing on end and his face turning white after hearing the story about the psychic’s diagnosis. for sure. The Jamaican nurse who cared for me in the hospital told me that the particular shape of my son’s head meant he was a very old soul. The house was part of a grove of fruit trees. the fever went down. came out perfect — that was all that mattered. My landlord Igor said that there are pipes with continuous running water that have to do with the irrigation system for the grove. a Russian man who taught Russian at Miami Beach High School. To me. It’s called Zone Irritation. Lou commented. when Aaron was nine months old. They did great with my birthing emergency. gave him a tepid bath and then. As though he was an ancient evolved and realized being. looked at. I immediately called Lou Smith. and what to expect your baby to do at one week. which was basically furnished with two futons on the floor. took a breath. did some color energy healing on him. which is where they really shine. looked down on this creature who was a gift given to me by the Creator and just listened to my own intuitive feelings about how I would raise my son. And since in the Jewish religion we use the first letter of someone in our family who has passed to name our children. Since I did not want to give my son any antibiotics. Once. I listened. smelled and completely immersed myself in this baby and his needs. I had been an observer of animals for many years and knew instinctivel y that most new mothers just clean up the young ones. felt. etc. closed my eyes. two weeks. Aaron was also named for my grandfather. but because of last minute complications. he was my teacher. “In my bedroom next to my bed. “Aaron is being disturbed by pipes with continuous running water under the area where he was sleeping. I treated my son with great respect. I kept my distance from Western medical doctors. After I read some books about only nursing the baby on a prescribed schedule. “Where is Aaron sleeping?” I said.. I was rushed to Mercy Hospital in Coconut Grove. I prepared to birth him at home with a midwife.Aaron’s birth was eventful. Lou asked me.
I don’t think that Mitchell ever really got over the shock of me getting pregnant just six months after we met. Intuitively. I also take some credit for that. I never left him with anyone except my parents or very responsible good friends for short times until he was about three or four. living in a 17-foot travel trailer. essential oils and herbs. I traipsed around the outskirts of Gainesville. I allowed him to suckle at my breast up until he was four years old. such as the mercury found in them and a possible connection to the high rise in autism. I only gave him the first set of vaccinations since we were traveling to Colombia. since there is much controversy over these immunizations. we separated and divorced. I made my own baby food from vegetables that I had steamed and fruit that I blended. Basically I have been blessed with a healthy kid. A custodian in a local school where I was substitute teacher came to my rescue during the summer months. since I was very careful in how he was raised. If you start with children immediately giving them organic foods. I never got used to being with another person so intensely and having to be dependent on him financially for those few years. Thankfully. food as medicine. the 1950’s rock n’ roll legend. so that he never had up the follow-up immunizations . finding people who would let me stay on their land. He did have some yearly checkups for school and camp. after four and a half years of being together. healthy treats and treating their illness using energy healing. when my son was three. His first food was my milk and then homemade brown rice cream. Mitchell and I decided to move to Gainesville. I don’t regret doing that at all. I was very wary of anything unnatural. In 1980. After that I forged all the paperwork. I only took him to a doctor once. South America. Aaron never had a cavity or ear infection and was never absent from school for illness. It was at that time that Bo Diddley. Florida. about six hours northwest of Miami. we made a commitment to raising our son by living close by each other and sharing in his upbringing. when he sprained his ankle at 16. when there was no work. when he was almost two. I admit that our marriage was not a solid one. not that I even know exactly what they really means. then it is very likely that they will grow up being healthy and strong. So.Aaron was raised mostly as a Macrobiotic vegetarian. heard about a Jewish girl singing gospel songs in the 44 . cool springs and rivers. Gainesville is the home of the University of Florida and had always been surrounded by countryside.
Thank you. He encouraged me to copyright all of my material. who had been taken care of by an African American woman most of her childhood. when Aaron was four. He would call all the little ones together when he saw me sitting out with my guitar. members of the band and all. working for Bo Diddley. thank you. “Great. so it’s interesting that here I was in Gainesville. The barefoot work enabled my small frame to become very powerful. I took the best care that could of his family. “How are you doing. After a weekend gig. especially my work with children. Having been ripped off of royalties due to him over the years. he wanted to make sure that wouldn’t happen to me. eight years after healing myself of cancer. would you mash on my back?” Of course. Bo overheard my son screaming at me and did not hesitate to help me out. A mutual friend brought me to meet Bo. He appreciated my songs. Bo was in his mid 50’s at the time and his broad frame needed the really deep bodywork. and to this day. Some of the songs on the CD at the back of this book were written during this time of my life. I just graduated college 45 . He also helped me a great deal with my son. One day. while attending a Blues Festival in Fort Lauderdale. I have never had my son talk back to me so disrespectfully as that day when he was four. He was very excited to see Aaron. he pulled my trailer onto his back forty and gave me a job taking care of his entire family. He told me just to watch out for the rattle snakes and within a week had bought me a car at the junkyard for $300. (Pic of Bo and me in his studio 2004) Bo Diddley was actually one of my first Barefoot Shiatsu clients. Aaron?” Aaron said. both from doing the work and from feeling the energy coming through me. Don’t you just love the image of a New York Jewish princess. the man who created rock n’ roll. he would fall down at my feet asking. where Bo was the headliner. Bo helped me a great deal with my music. How excited do you think I was? After Bo and I met and he heard my predicament . I never turned him down. after ten years or so. In 2000. Aaron (age 22) and I got to go backstage and spend some time with him before he went on stage. He said. I mashed on him really good.Pentecostal church up the road. “You don’t talk to your Momma like that!” That was it. Bo looked down at this little uncontrollable child and said loud and clear. From Grandma to the great grandkids. Bo. Florida in 1983. now taking care of this very unique family of a world famous entertainer? When I was a young teenager. I had idolized this man. “Jill. It was over in a flash. Bo.
He was ready. I remember his first day of kindergarten at Highland Lakes Elementary School in North Miami Beach. he loves us both equally and the divorce.” Bo said. With his apparent confidence. Fortunately.” (No doubt he was referring to that time when four-year-old Aaron had a hissy fit. I had waited an extra year after the divorce to make sure he was doing well and was a bit older than necessary for starting school. We both went on in our lives to have other relationships that Aaron was wholly a part of. and simultaneously moved back to South Florida. Taylor. was a lovely African American woman who immediately made him her pet.and I’ve got a really good job. When Aaron received his MBA from Florida Atlantic University in 2002. where we lived no more than forty minutes from each other. as long as there are parents willing to work together on it. Thank you so much Mrs.) Aaron and I left Gainesville after the summer of 1982 to return to South Florida. If anything. Aaron went between us until his was seventeen. Aaron. To this day. I praise the system when it really serves the children. As a former public school teacher. my mother commented after the ceremony. Today’s world is different than it was 25 years ago. I wasn’t sure about you for a while. Mrs. his life was enriched by these men and women who loved him very much. although difficult. his teacher. I like the idea of home schooling. “You know. where I put Aaron into school. he was ready to conquer the world. My ex-husband Mitchell and I had both stayed in the Gainesville area for a year after the divorce. Taylor and all the many good teachers he had over the years in public school. He walked in almost as though he owned the place. “I can’t believe that I’m sitting between Mitchell’s two ex-wives” and “we are all having a great time celebrating my grandson’s graduation!” 46 . was not the most horrible thing to happen to him.
” I laughed my head off and I took it to heart.S. In 2003. until I actually got to meet and spend time with Robin Williams. Thomas A. undoubtedly one of the most successful. 47 . I looked and thought about it. “You can never be too thin or too rich”…and I added … “or get too many massages.” I felt grateful to be doing something that I loved and getting paid for it. I also attended and graduated Educating Hands School of Massage.U. after returning to South Florida. however. or at least had ADHD for many years.Chapter 6: Making Stuff Up Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. My formal bodywork training began in 1981. where I continued to learn more about the science of massage. as his massage therapist while he was filming “The Birdcage”. brilliant and commonsensical humans walking the planet. a woman handed me her business card. This type of massage is done with the whole body. when I studied an authentic form of Japanese Barefoot Shiatsu with my friend and neighbor. keep me in good shape. Massage is a very physically demanding profession. “Making stuff up. I have had tendonitis and back problems on occasion throughout my career of 24 years. We should all take lessons from Robin. Ralph Ashodian. having never seen those initials that represent a type of degree of some kind. Edison Many years ago. It said her name and then the letters. I thought that I was crazy. I loved massage school. It does. demonstrating traditional Barefoot Shiatsu Massage. and blessed with my tiny frame. I try to pace myself in order to not overspend my energy. I can really do the deep work. I was a featured presenter at the Morikami Japanese Museum in Delray Beach. My clients for many years were mostly little older Jewish women who would comment on my “goldena hanz. especially because we would give and get a massage almost every day. M. a well-known martial artist in Northern Florida. I’m small and well-balanced from doing Yoga. He takes each moment of life so seriously that millions of ideas cross his path in a split second.” I continue to do the massage therapy component of my juice fasting program along with private local clients in the area where I live. I used to quote Coco Chanel’s saying. she replied. “What does MSU mean I said to her”. Then.
“Vat are you going to do? Hit somebody vid that?” (Pointing to the walker). I realized that the deep divisions and negative changes in our culture began to happen when children lost their relationships with their grandparents.” At this point. reflecting his growing interest in what I was telling him. mostly because he got so much kind and loving attention. I was walking up the steps of a clinic where I was working. My goal was to connect the young with the old and the old with the young by creating social programs in schools. The attention brought me into the university world of the Southeast Florida Center on Aging. I was in charge of developing training sessions for teachers. I continued. He said. On the weekends I would take Aaron with me to help me pass out little instruments and wheel people in their wheelchairs down to the activity room. Mostly it seemed that children had lost an ally through the grandparent/child relationship and grandparents lost their role as elders. I am going to open up this mat and my client will lay down on it. Both groups have been harmed by this shift in societal and cultural movement. I began to see a common thread running through both sectors of our society. 48 . I chose songs from the 1930’s and 40’s — especially love songs — which I knew everyone loved and would sing along with me. his eyes were huge.A few years ago. when the treatment is completed. and volunteers. And all of this activity was inspired by Chair Yoga and Music Programs and a little boy who wasn’t old enough to go to school yet. either through divorce. He loved to come with me. my client will pay me for the work. “Actually. For elderly people living in such an unbalanced environment of seeing only other elderly sick persons. A neighborhood newspaper ran a story about us. Then I will balance myself with this walker and step on my client for about an hour. I said. “Vud you believe how you can make a living these days?” I eventually graduated from the Educating Hands School of Massage I became licensed in massage in Florida in 1987. At least twice or three times per week I also played and sang with my guitar in nursing homes. which I still use to balance myself. giving me more knowledge. “Then. to witness a small child with a smiling face is truly a blessing. confidence and credibility in my work. distance or other reasons. and nursing homes. as the Director of Intergenerational Programming. community centers. basically anyone who wanted to bring the children and elderly together. which landed on the right desk at the local state university. carrying my mat and an orthopedi c walker. students. A little old Jewish man looked at me and stopped.” The biggest smile came across his face as he said. activity directors in nursing homes.
Always piecing together a living that meant something to me. We hope that Jill will continue her work as she is gifted and blessed with talent and the ability to relate to the elderly population in a very special way. The health of this planet is a complete reflection of our own health. while “The Garbage Song” is catchy and has a great beat. I couldn’t help but create a dance to go with it. songs and my love for young children was a given. I had become the singing cowgirl for party entertainment. I had done some substitute teaching over the years. I promised the teachers that I would have the children all in their seats after the dance. when put in a musical program such as Jill’s. I have seen Alzheimer’s residents who do not talk. don’t we ever realize that we are possibly going extinct as well? 49 . Since the guitar. Music seems to be the only media that truly affects them. I enjoyed the smiles on their face when they saw that I could fulfill my promise. Jill’s wonderful voice along with her compassionate personality won the hearts of all the residents that were privileged to be in the room when she entertained. My most special moments were my shows for those with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. I am probably in many home videos. Alzheimer’s is a disease that robs people of so many skills. I created a character. I continued working in nursing homes as a musician. the Cosmic Cowgirl. they begin to sing. but didn’t want to teach full time. They were upbeat and ranged from toe tapping to soul searching sounds. becoming my back-up band. Florida. “The Mother Earth Blues” came out of a performance with an 8th grade science class. Her choice of songs was wonderful. I knew I needed to get back to working with kids. As we watch and hear about the extinction of so many creatures. but it was very hard and not very fulfilling. Nancy Weis.Although funding ran out after a couple of years in the intergenerational field. dancing and teaching the children how to play along with me. a theme and did some marketing to get myself known in the community. I recorded many demos of my original songs about the Earth. Her singing and guitar playing was not only entertaining but therapeutic to our residents. Within a few months. wrote me a recommendation saying: “We have been blessed this year with the performances of Jill Schneider. singing. When performing in the schools in front of any audience of about 300 children. Program Director of the Heartland Health Care Center in Boynton Beach. Most children are really concerned about the environment. Annie Sunbeam. The purple cowgirl hat. was created out of my need to continue to work with children. guitar and embroidered vest still hang close to my heart.
doing water aerobics and performing my Barefoot Shiatsu bodywork. doing massage therapy. Aaron. Soon enough. I fell in love with hot springs and their healing benefits. musician and healer for many years. I met some very interesting women from Texas during my many years at Rio Caliente. I moved to Delray Beach. He has always been very independent and since I had left Florida for that two year period. I wonder why? Using my nippy survival skills and ingenuity. I left South Florida for Austin. an article documented that goal. as an Activity Director at the Rio Caliente Spa and Ranch — teaching Yoga. My Dad saw me struggling to get my massage and music business off the ground. taking people on hikes in the Sierra Madre Mountains. I didn’t know what a real job was. I stayed with my folks for a few weeks. I published a similar article in Ariel Ford’s More Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul. where my elderly parents had been living for many years. since the movie had just come out. “Can’t you get a real job?” I had been a teacher. When I first arrived in Texas. since I had gone to Texas to write and now on the return. he became more so. Texas. a year later in 1998. While I was in Texas. and the Texas Hill Country. my son. riding horses and playing my guitar. I assumed that Annie Sunbeam parties and school concerts would be a way that I could make some money. Aaron was living with his Dad and just starting community college. I worked in Mexico for six weeks each year. he managed to get himself a full academic scholarship and a job at the university to pay for housing and food. just as I was leaving Texas to come back to South Florida. 50 . I quickly let my long hair down. In 1995. but when I tried to promote parties in Austin.Aren’t all these chronic diseases that have ballooned out of control over the past fifty years an indication of that extinction? From 1991 to 1996. was attending Barry University in Miami. while in transition and getting settled. In 1997. At one point he said. hiking in the hills. I must admit that being flexible has always worked magic in my life. Back in South Florida. I published an article entitled “Facing Cancer on My Own” in Natural Health Magazine. sewed up a doe-skinned outfit and became Pocahontas. no one was interested in a singing cowgirl. after community college. It was a great feeling of accomplishment. I spent two years writing.
51 . not wanting to live too high. I used that room as an office as well. You can’t move around much when you just have a few inches on either side of you and more than that between the table and the cold tile floor. So. there are no guarantees. I found myself a little one-room rear cottage next to a lovely pool and just about a mile from the ocean.In the massage/music/yoga/freelance business. Instead of buying a bed. I slept (carefully) on my massage table for the next year and a half.
460-377 B. So. In my own way. this diagnosis changed my life and that is why I thanked God. Usually the first day. They stay at a lovely hotel apartment close to the ocean in Delray Beach. 52 .Chapter Seven: Being Grateful for Cancer A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings. described me to his wife. taking a walk by the ocean and accepting a long massage. I am very attentive and want my clients to feel really secure with their fast. in San Diego at Casa de Mirabeau. but for me. “Jill is the roommate who won’t leave. In less than a month from the time of my cancer diagnosis in 1975. Raw Food Educator and Juice Fasting Coach. I actually considered thanking God for this cancer. Yoga Teacher. Mexico. it’s nice to know that someone who has experience with overseeing clients who are fasting is there to make you feel more comfortable and safe in the process. c. One of my clients. getting unlimited fresh juice. my client is just settling in. I was not wrong in this thinking. I created my own company called Circle of Life Holistic Programs. My well-attended personal and group retreats attest to that. which led to the gifts of unimaginable strength and clarity. I offer 6-day immersion juice fasts. Deep within myself. and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses. tea and broth to drink. I live my life with gratitude for this opportunity of having a human body. It’s true though. I designed a one-on-one personal health detoxification program. It’s a process of unwinding. In 2000. Thanking God for cancer? I know that can be very insulting to those of you who have lost loved ones to this dreaded disease. I just knew that everything was and would be perfect and that this experience was going to teach me a significant lesson for my whole life. My clients come from all over the world. Combining my skills as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Florida. a dentist from Detroit. I have been given much more than I ever could have imagined . As I look back over the past 30 years of my life. Headaches. weakness and even nausea can be part of the process. Hippocrates. down-to-Earth suggestions on creating a balance between the mind. in a hot spring resort near Guadalajara. or they fly me to their favorite retreat locations. I share my experience with others attempting to give some insight.C. I followed the deepest part of myself. body and spirit.” Of course he told me this and made me really laugh. perspective and mostly some very practical .
My phone consultation work has been an interesting addition to my program. even for just a few days. kids leaving the nest. or kids still in the nest. From fasting on a physical level. What I have noticed is that one needs rest. etc. aromatherapy baths and colon hydrotherapy. So. dehydrated and malnourished. whether it is from divorce. When you are not thinking about the mundane existence of each day. working with people who just want the support and encouragement as they go through a juice fast in their own home. it’s always a good idea to work with these feelings as they arise. Many have retreated with me during certain transitions in their life. quiet and reflection time to look over the past. even through some natural detoxification discomforts. What I have learned about restoring health is very basic. fresh organic juices and other nutritional liquids. Being hungry is primal and will bring up fears. From 12 hour work days to mothering. your body and your mind go through some interesting changes. leaving a job and thinking about going into a new profession. also comes the fast of the mind. fathering and taking care of elderly parents…our lives are not our own. does help one gain new perspectives and philosophies relevant to shifting into a better way of living in harmony and balance. My clients are well-respected professionals mostly in their 30’s. you become freed up to explore and to answer some deeper questions about existence. 53 . we will discover on our own what we really want and need to be content. Just to know that we will talk each day at a certain time gives the individual a secure nurturing feeling that they can do it. Fasting is not as difficult as you think. They own homes. As you fast. I focus on those physical aspects first through massage and deep relaxation. People are running on empty in so many different aspects of their lives. fasting will raise issues that you haven’t thought about in many years. have raised healthy and intelligent kids and are living the American dream. walking by the sea. they come to me exhausted. Once we quiet down the mind (or at least ignore it).The process covers many aspects. Slowing down. have good jobs. stay present in the moment and feel intuitively what one needs to prepare to pursue in the future. And yet. while immersing oneself in nature. Emotionally and spiritually. 40’s and 50’s. So what can we do to function at a level which will enable us to get it all done without falling apart? These are some of the issues that my clients want to work on while they are resting and rehabilitating.
nuts. mostly because of the fear that they have of this disease. but if you still have an inkling of anger. 54 . grains. I have created a comfortable retreat on the ocean. nothing more. Thanking God for the cancer might sound really strange to people. juice. I still thank God for all the imbalances I have encountered in my life and for all I have learned from them. massage. reflect and allow their bodies. I spend 8 hours per day preparing the delicious juices. I have fasted every year for past 25 years. get treatments. During those juice fasts and even a couple of water fasts. or a box-load of resentment. ocean swims.Over the years. fruits. mud packs. all that good healthful stuff not only goes to waste. I have witnessed personally the amazing results of healing. It’s very personal work. seeds. rest and meditation . I knew that I had to act immediately to correct this imbalance and did so using natural means. I believe thoroughly in the power of love and in the inherent ability of the human body to heal itself when given the best nourishment. herbs for cleansing and detoxification. Remember that you can eat the best home-grown.with each individual who comes to stay. a bastion of fear. support and time. doing the massage. and nothing less. organic vegetables. water exercise. I treated my cancer just as an imbalance. castor oil packs and whatever . minds and spirits the opportunity to realign and rejuvenate. and juices. counseling. and even chew them a hundred times until they become liquid in your mouth. sand scrubs. during which people from all over the world come to rest. but could also turn into a poison that would kill you. Along with enemas. I have been greatly impressed with the ability of the body to alter and adjust itself into greater balance and harmony. rest. teaching yoga. one that brings out the best and sometimes the worst in all of us. colonic irrigation. It’s always an amazing transformation that I witness and hopefully one that will stay with these people forever.
I listened to him.D. In her book Women’s Bodies. The juice fast went well. In 1991. It’s only about unconditional love. He finally arrived by C-section on November 17. A lemon to a thumbnail. I was able to get pregnant and give birth to my son two and a half years later. when I was 46. Lots of toxins left my body. I accepted the perfection of the moment. I went back for a sonogram. not to the ever-changing parenting theories wreaking havoc on each generation. I was informed that the only thing they could see was about the size of my thumbnail.Chapter Eight: Keeping My Hysteria The number of hysterectomies won’t change significantly until women change their beliefs about their pelvic organs. empowering approach to women’s health and wellness. but a long and difficult labor. After those daily enemas and a couple of high colonic irrigation treatments. she asks women to ponder the following questions: 55 . Job done. the doctor found a fibroid tumor. By deciding not to follow the advice of Allopathic Medicine to have a hysterectomy in 1975. Northrup is a leading proponent of medicine and healing that acknowledges the unity of the mind and body. Dr. Over the years. Christiane Northrup. When he smiled or just looked into my eyes. obstetrician/ gynecologist is internationally known for her visionary. Without making a big deal about it. Western Medicine serves as a helpful diagnosis. As Aaron grew from an infant into his childhood. I just went shopping for a carload of fresh vegetables and immediately began a two-week fruit and vegetable juice fast. Christiane Northrup. I protected him from the theoretical world as much as I could. in my uterus.D. Women’s Wisdom. How many avenues from the center of town do we have to travel away from? Over the years. as well as the powerful role of the human spirit in creating health. As a practicing physician for over 20 years. It was a healthy pregnancy. Although I used Eastern Medicine to heal the cancer. the size of a large lemon. M. I created an environment that enabled him to still stay connected to the inner world he had come from. which I was told would have been the solution to my cancer problem. Aaron is and always will be the light of my life. M. That has never changed. I would go for occasional check-ups with a gynecologist to make sure that everything was in working order. 1977. and still not getting it right.
in fact. Northrup notes: “The possibility that the uterus might have any function other than childbearing or tumor production has not been adequately addressed in conventional ob-gyn training. when 724. Bantam Books. Northrup gives us some interesting facts and figures on this topic as well: “This undervaluing of the uterus by doctors and the public alike contributes to the fact that. hysterectomy is the second most commonly performed major surgical operation in the United States. Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom. the negative messages about the uterus that are reflected in the current statistics and which we internalize over a lifetime is associated with a large number of problems that women experience in this area. and not well educated about that organ. but I’m pleased to report that since then the number has declined. after caesarian section. 1994 56 . she would know that the uterus is useless to her except for childbearing.” Dr.000 operations were reported. The number of hysterectomies won’t change significantly until women change their beliefs about their pelvic organs. the uterus does. Centers for Disease Control (CDC). and its removal is not advisable unless absolutely necessary. 2 Christiane Northrup. if a woman has a reproductive illness but wants to keep her uterus even though she has no interest in childbearing. this surgery is still performed too often when other options are available. according to the U. The number of hysterectomies performed peaked in 1985. MD. Because our thoughts affect our bodies.” 2 What is a Hysterectomy? Hysterectomy — a surgical procedure to remove a woman’s uterus — is major surgery. her medical team may view her as overly emotional or sentimental. Although the hysterectomy rate appears to have gone down since 1985. seem to play a role in hormonal regulation. Even today. The general patriarchal tone of this training is that if such a woman were more sophisticated. But. Dr. New York. What would it be like if you reclaimed the wisdom of your body and learned to trust its messages? What would your life be like if you no longer lived in fear of “germs” or cancer? How would your life be different if your body were your friend and ally? How would your life be different if you learned how to respect your body as though it were a precious creation — as valuable as a beloved friend or child? How would you treat yourself differently? In writing about the uterus. More than one in four American women will have a hysterectomy by the time they are 60 years old.S. a bit superstitious.
There are several medical conditions that can be effectively treated or cured with a hysterectomy. sensation painful intercourse. Other reasons to have a hysterectomy include: * endometrial hyperplasia with atypia (an overgrowth of the uterine lining that contains precancerous changes in the cells) * cancer of the uterus. in addition to operative injuries are: heart disease osteoporosis bone. vaginal damage displacement of bladder. Among its most common consequences. frequency. NJ 2004 www. FACT: Hysterectomy ’s damage is life-long. incontinence chronic constipation and digestive disorders profound fatigue chronic exhaustion altered body odor 3 National Women’s Health Resource Center. FACT: Women experience a loss of physical sexual sensation as a result of hysterectomy. Of the approximately 600. international organization dedicated to the issue of hysterectomy and advocates for fully informed medical choices by women. up to half are prompted by uterine fibroids. joint and muscle pain and immobility loss of sexual desire.000 hysterectomies performed each year in the United States. FACT: A woman’s vagina is shortened. causing pain and discomfort * invasive cervical cancer * colon or bladder cancer that has spread to the uterus * uncontrollable bleeding after childbirth 3 HERS is an independent. scarred and dislocated by hysterectomy. ovary or fallopian tube * genital prolapse (when the ligaments that support pelvic structures weaken) * endometriosis – a condition in which tissue from the uterine lining migrates and adheres to tissue in other parts of the body.org 57 .” Hysterectomies are also used as a treatment for endometriosis and to stop abnormal uterine bleeding. Here are some facts from their website www.com . bowel.healthywomen. Redbank. also known as “non-cancerous tumors.hersfoundation. and other pelvic organs urinary tract infections. arousal.
It will take a lifetime of living in harmony with the needs of this human frame to attain the confidence you will need to fight back against this corrupt medical system run by pharmaceutical. FACT: The medical term for the removal of the ovaries is castration. And in some cases. loss of short-term memory blunting of emotions. in terms of the requirements to stay in their profession. that is a different story. if you have been taking care of this human body’s needs. FACT: The uterus and ovaries function throughout life in women who have not been hysterectomized or castrated. hospitals and drug companies make more than 8 billion dollars a year from the business of hysterectomy and castration. perhaps we will manifest power over this nightmare. The loss is permanent. What is this unwavering faith in the white coat and complete fear and loathing of our own bodies? Once we accept and understand that we play a major part in the mental creation and physical manifestation of our diseases. they have much to contend with. you need to. FACT: 98% of women HERS has referred to board-certified gynecologists after being told they needed hysterectomies discovered that. Even if they are the best. then. When we are faced with an emergency situation . 58 . FACT: Twice as many women in their 20’s and 30’s are hysterectomized as women in their 50’s and 60’s. in fact. most sincere doctors. reclusiveness and suicidal thinking FACT: No drugs or other treatments can replace ovarian or uterine hormones or functions. but rather on the protocols set up to protect the doctor’s liability. then you won’t have to put yourself in the hands of a system that is not based on truth. Most women are castrated at hysterectomy. irritability. anger. despondency. God Bless them and God Bless hospitals. insurance companies and complacent medical practitioners. I truly hope that this information shocks you. FACT: Gynecologists. they did not need hysterectomies. we become so frightened and will do whatever they say. For emergencies. I recommend prevention above and beyond all methods of healing. However. personality changes.
.D. I also quit my stressful job and went hiking and traveling in Peru. who tend to still eat plenty of cooked and devitalized foods. learning yoga. eating very simple light vegetarian food. I believe that you can trace most physical disease back to the colon and digestive/eliminative tract. greasy fast food or even a cooked food eater.circle -oflife. broth and herbal teas are always recommended by all medical professionals to make sure the body is getting vitamins. the malignant cancer went into remission. surgery or any allopathic procedures. such as water. The purpose of any kind of fasting is to cleanse and detox the body from the inside out. meditating and having acupuncture and herbal remedies with a Chinese Acupuncturist. alcohol drinker. in an article published in Natural Health Magazine. I didn’t know about fasting. Fasting is one of the oldest forms of healing known to man. How often have we watched our own bodies refrain from eating while we are not feeling well with a cold or flu? Small children and even our pets refrain from taking food and allow their bodies to rest while in a toxic condition. You can read about my healing at www.net/NaturalHealth. juice.html . white flour. I used absolutely no medicine. I embarked on a bi-yearly program of cleansing my body. 59 . I had a perfectly healthy child two and a half years later. At the time. Liquids. you need to fast. Had I known about juice fasting at that time. The colon. who lived past 100 and the great Professor Arnold Ehret. I would definitely have incorporated it into my healing plan. Leonardo da Vinci I have been juice fasting for preventive health reasons over the past 25 years. gets the most benefit from a fast. herbal tea and broth made from vegetables.Chapter Nine: Juice Fasting Beauty and vitality are gifts from nature for those who live by her laws. but I did make some very serious changes in my life. Even vegetarians. along with distilled or purified water. sugar. Norman Walker. which is the most toxic organ of the body. In 1975. while the body works on fighting off viruses and bacteria. certainly. If you have ever been a meat. author of the Mucusless Diet Healing System. at the age of 29. mind and spirit with a week or two of fresh fruit and vegetable juices. to prevent the possibility of disease and all that that will incur. N. I have been guided to learn as much as possible about healing. affecting so many of the other organs. minerals and staying hydrated. We all need to fast if we want any measure of decent health and. After reading books by Dr. Four months later. I was given the diagnosis of having malignant cervical cancer. need to fast. breathing very deeply. Because of the cancer.
Fasting and prayer have been linked for thousands of years by people who want to feel a greater closeness to the Creator. 1971) confirms this when he mentions that. or self-digestion. meditation may come more easily when the body is quiet and still. “The vital elements of the raw juices do not disrupt the healing and rejuvenating process of autolysis. in his book. who are basically healthy. Water fasting can be very extreme and difficult on the individual. was translated into English by Edmond Bordeaux Szekely. However. they should fast under a doctor’s supervision and care. Jesus describes in complete detail how to heal oneself of all disease using fasting. for anyone with any serious medical issues. it is possible to take on a short (3-5 days) fresh organic juice fast on their own. a great classic Third Century Aramaic Manuscript. 60 . How to Keep Slim Healthy and Young with Juice Fasting (Health Plus Publishers . too much weight loss too quickly along with detoxification being much more uncomfortable and even dangerous. Focusing on the body as the temple of God. Paavo Airola. In this book. as suggested by some water fast proponents” For most people. I use this book as my own personal guide and I recommend it highly. Dr. The Essene Gospel of Peace.
I love this romance that I am having with Life. You know that there are many books and websites about healing. It’s much more interesting than any other way to be in this world on this planet that we call Earth. You can’t fight a battle until you know your enemy. It’s time to do your homework like you have never done it before. etc. we are here and now. That has been very deceptive and sometimes painful. I recommend that you become very simple and contemplative . I personally believe that the illness is there for you. frightened and then depressed your whole being. If you choose to let others take you down their particular path. some progress might be made or you may lose your battle. It has a cause. Disease does not begin from nothing. Now. mostly emotional issues that wore you down. now is the time to go back to the beginning.Conclusion: Getting Clear No matter how we see ourselves. We watch the war on our TV so matter-offactly. Link them together to see a pattern that took you from health to disease. I like this challenge to stay in the moment. Treating ourselves and others with respect and love is the only way to live. but if you really want to get to the source. sorting out the feelings and thought forms that are fighting amongst themselves ? Once you are able to do that. guilt. Find that cause. 61 . anger. The components of disease may appear complicated at first. Think of all the times that you skipped over details – some quite important – well. I haven’t always understood this to the degree that I understand it now.. Healing yourself can’t happen unless you take this most elemental leap into the reality of existence. but it has been more than 30 years of a life filled with amazing possibilities and Grace to make it all happen. resentments. I am a lover. along with medical and alternative doctors with their take on your illness. It’s just so precious to be here in this human form. perhaps you can now meditate on that clarity and consciousness that exists within you in order to distance yourself from the fear. or causes. I’ve lived in the past and I’ve lived in the future. The alternative creates great pain and suffering for all concerned. it seems that my life has taken a different course. you must do this. Go back and review how your human frame became compromised and weakened.. How about watching the war in your mind. The now has become the place of choice no matter what the effort put forth to stay present. The present is the present is the present is the present. You will find trauma. jealousy. so that you will find the clarity to guide you to the perfect health that you deserve.
If you have to. Staying focused on what is real is the challenge before us. When I was diagnosed with cancer. Living a whole life. but totally unconditionally. Love yourself and others will love you. so that is when your intentions are pure and your life will reflect that innocence. Move right into the new and fresh breath of the next moment and be grateful for it! Go off by yourself for a while. so perhaps. a complete change in how you see. Love your family and your family will love you back. lower your overhead. without any expectations. I didn’t say anything to my family. Not with strings. hear. So. when they come. You have to remember that our lifestyle plays a major part in our health and wellness. Enjoy this process and enjoy Romancing Life 62 . you don’t require any love or acceptance from the outer. I told only a few friends. Stay away from all negative people. Quit your job and camp out in the woods. When you know that sweet place within. fear. Nature is the best teacher when it comes to understanding the balance and harmony that is needed to survive and then to thrive. We do not have the luxury of a negative thought – ever. and they will – that’s what got us into this position in the first place – say NO! Chase them away.We must also plan for your future. Forgiveness is an action that needs to be understood and manifested . Sitting around being full of fear is not an option for those of us who really want to heal. Take this time to listen. So much of our disease is based on and caused by our anger. manifesting their greatness in all that we do and aspire to do is our only purpose. and the fears it could have carried. so that you will have the time to try many healing modalities that are available. The time is now for us to prepare for our future as well. or obligations. especially in the ramifications of healing ourselves. and jealousy of people in our lives. It would have frightened them and that would have back-fired into my own mind. feel and taste this life will be the key to unlocking the miracles you want to heal yourself. kindness and true caring for yourself and others. This book and my songs are mirrors through which you can see who you are and where you need to go to make things right. We need to make these relationships based on truth in order for us to truly be at peace with ourselves. Now is the time for all of us to come together to help ourselves and each other to learn how to be simple. I had to put on blinders so that I wouldn’t be distracted by anything that would take me away from the plan. resentment. full of the gifts we are given.
played and sang this song over and over again. The pain of not knowing if I would live or die generated tremendous emotional confusion until I wrote. I would be prepared by feeling a strong inner knowing of where I was going. The twelve songs I am presenting mirror the feelings of a heart sculpted by a powerful feeling of inner love. Healing takes place on all levels. I pass these songs on to you with the hope that you will feel inspired to go deep within yourself to find that peace. at least if I did die.Part II: 12 Songs (©2004) Rhythm. my longing for the highest truth set me free. please catch me my Lord Bind me to you with your golden cord This love that you’ve given me is only a part Of the joy that is mending my broken heart For lifetimes and ages I’ve known you before The door that you’ve shown me heals evermore About the Song: This is the song which I wrote while I was healing myself of cancer. Mostly I am asking for illumination. rhyme and melody have been my life raft from as far back as I can remember. Then. or if I did live. 1-Take All the Fear Chorus: Take all the fear that you know I’m hiding Take it away. 63 . I am begging the Creator for help. having that light from within wash over me with so much love and joy that I will be given complete clarity in the face of such a challenge. I’m falling. Feeling an escalation of the darkest possible fears of both illness and death. the joy of the ultimate connection would bind me to the heart of God forever and ever. In either case. so I can be free Replace it with love that is infinitely with me Show me how to see what I’ve never seen before I’m falling.
2-Meant To Be So many lives I must have had Searching for your love It wasn’t this world That could ever please me I needed the reality Chorus: You’ve taken my life into your own And that’s how it was meant to be. That was when Mr. after a short four-year marriage.For me. I would become accountable for my life — my body. eight years after healing myself of cancer. I understand All I need to know The source of your love is deep within me And it’s crying to be set free How can I thank you for giving me life With every breath that I take Your play is divine. Mitchell. Florida. cancer was truly a blessing. especially our son. my mind. the custodian at this local northern Florida school in Hawthorne. I had been doing some substitute teaching. This was a difficult time during which I had gotten a divorce from my husband. The main thrust and direction would be mostly based on trusting the intuitive information from my higher self. so perfect and true Please let me love only you About the Song: In 1983. 64 . Aaron. guiding me every step of the way. the 1950’s rock n’ roll legend. but summer was coming and there would be no work for a while. Hutchinson. In order to survive. I was working for Bo Diddley. It was upsetting to all involved. It forced me to create a plan for renewal. offered Aaron and I the opportunity to put my trailer on his back forty. and my course of treatment. meant to be Looking at you. Again I must reiterate that the most exciting aspect of the healing took place when I earnestly thanked God for the cancer.
Through a mutual acquaintance, Bo Diddley heard about a Jewish girl singing in the little black church up the road. He insisted on meeting me. After we met and he heard my predicament, the next morning he took his truck and pulled my 17’ travel trailer onto his back forty, bought me a car at the junkyard for $300 and gave me a job taking care of his entire family. From Grandma to the great grand kids, members of the band and all, I took the best care that could of his family. 3 - Every Game in the Book
I’ve been through every game in the book That could ever be played But now I know that there is a place in my heart That will forever stay Chorus: And I know that it’s true And that’s why I love you
When I look in your eyes I can see A reflection of love toward me Your eyes all aglow and a smile on your face I can feel such grace
El tiempo in este vida Es como melodia Que viene de lo hondo de mi ser Una opportunitad para escuchar Esta cancion que puedes conocer Chorus: Y yo se que es verdad Y por eso te amo
About the Song: This song was written at a time when I had made the decision that I had to cease all relationships that contained drama and anguish. Songs usually come to me as I am about to or have already shifted into another gear. I am a creature of love and, therefore, love is the only reality I choose to have in my life. But there is love and there is love. Learning how to
love myself more, filling myself up with enough love so that the cup would be full, became my goal.
Change is the most definite aspect of living on Planet Earth. Besides the floundering economy, increase in crime, pollution -filled cities, what about the shifting of the poles, global warming, ozone layer holes, and other physical earth adjustments? No amount of apathy or fantasy is going to matter when your house floats away in a flood, gets destroyed by a hurricane, fire, tidal wave or tornado. You will be called into immediate action to make the necessary changes to adjust to your new environment.
Letting the understanding of that ultimate truth guide my way throughout this life has been the greatest of all goals. Perhaps our definition of reality needs readjusting. Something real is something that never changes. The truth will set us free.
4 - Hanging on to Pure Love
I’m tired of the limits that my mind puts over me It’s a mighty tight squeeze to find some decent dignity I’ve looked everywhere ‘round this whole world Up and down, ‘round and through, this old’ girl Chorus: And I’m grateful for this life That breathes me through and through And I’m hangin’ on to pure love That’s all there is to do
I ain’t goin’ to no heaven, that’s up above somewhere I’ve got it all right here and now, if you should even care Talk is cheap so I won’t say much more about this now But if you want to know the Truth, if your concepts will allow Chorus Don’t tell me how to live my life, it’s up to each of us To sing the low down blues, or get on that joyful bus 66
Takin’ us to where we all come from There’s a love inside our hearts, no need for us to roam
About the Song: This song really frees up the spirit of love from within. There is just enough raw inspiration to dissuade any negativity the mind could possibly conjure up. The streetwise, straightforward style expresses my stance and keeps me grounded in the reality of now.
The joyful bus may look no different on the outside from other buses you have been on, but there will be something uniquely different, which you will sense. Any encumbrance that you have been carrying on your shoulders will be lifted, and warmth will bathe away those worldly blues. Your breathing will seem fuller and your body will feel lighter. Keep allowing the feeling to come and keep surrendering to it. Why not? You have nothing to lose but your pain and suffering.
You have to stay on the bus. Don’t worry that you might miss your stop. You will be guided each step of the way. Everything that you require will be provided for you on this pleasurabl e bus. Prosperity and abundance will be given to you fully, along with the trust and faith to keep your head in the heavens and your feet on the earth. The bank of love will provide the greatest amount of interest you can ever imagine, and your mutual funs will keep growing by leaps and bonds. You will accrue the security of a permanent future based on the interest of love.
5 - Get Simple I want to be here now, I want to understand and feel And stand on the solid ground of Eternal Love It is so hard to believe that someone really cares And to penetrate my heart the way you always do Chorus: Get simple, look within yourself Do what you can do Listen to the silence It’s inside of you
Florida. It just keeps getting better and I get better because of it. My mind still wants to come in and tell me that it’s not possible. but sometimes it’s difficult to trust that my world won’t come tumbling down if I’m not holding it up.The Key To My Heart I am here. I was willing to do anything to find out how I wrote this song when I was living on a boat in Ft. Mitchell was busy in the galley growing sprouts as I was creating this special song. I knew that what I was looking for had to be uncomplicated. His unconditional caring has been the driving force of all that I do with my life. I want to be in the moment. 6 .There are those of us who can’t hide from the sickness that we see We want peace within ourselves and for our children to be free It’s all before us as the river meets the sea And a Master sings the praises of love in you and me I’m waking up the dream is coming to an end Sky is clearing. I have always felt the presence of a power. This song flowed out of me one night on the deck as I was experimenting with different tunings on my guitar. sun is shining. and you’re coming ‘round the bend Your face is all-aglow with such a brilliant light I’m at peace with myself. since you’ve given me this sight About the Song: Although I grew up without any formal religious training. I am now I am here and now Inside of me lies the key The key to my heart 68 . Lauderdale. it was a blessing that I did not have any particular indoctrination. I had just met my husband to be and the future father of my son. which could have possibly clouded my innate perceptions. Coming to my Teacher to listen and savor his teachings has been the ultimate romance in my life. in 1976. In some ways. straightforward it would be.
freely. 69 . My Teacher is the recipient of this song. something else happened and we forgot about how important this happiness. I’ll grab a hold and won’t let go Chorus It feels so good to know That this love will help me to grow In the romance of life The story’s been told longer than I know It’s free. Where in this world could I even find that peace.I can be. when we are really ready The sun is shinning. but right inside. dear Lord Cross the desert of my mind Let me feel this thirst inside With you as my guide You have shown me how to live In the here and now I want to say thank you With all of my heart About the Song: This song is a prayer from a very deep part of me.The Romance of Life The romance of life is right inside me Waiting for me to find out what I really long for When I can be quiet I can hear love speak To me. I needed firstly to feel that wasteland of pain just once to know this is not what we have come here for. Now. 7 . Then. We have been wired for love. which is our birthright. for me and you. yet I feel them so strongly coming from my heart. As children we knew that happiness was something to wake for each day and we experienced that as young children. These lyrics are so simple. this joy. oh. I can see I can be and see Inside of me lies the key The key to my heart Chorus: Carry me. we must return to that childlike state. is. the birds are singing God knows I feel this life down to my very toes.
The Texas Hill Country is very special and holds a place in my heart that is very dear. but rather an unconditional feeling right inside of me. When I’m quiet. My lover has been there since I was born and will be there after I die. My lover is a constant. Hummingbird heaven such a joy you are to see You heal my heart and my mind to be set free About the song: I lived in the Hill Country of South Central Texas in early 1996. I don’t have to even get dressed. I grow each day closer to this real lover. enough time to change my license plates. for two years. The Guadalupe River winds through hill and flowery dale. watch out. not just on the weekend. since there are no discrepancies or fears about being abandoned. I experience the most divine romance. I witnessed first hand the intensity of a river out of control and met amazing 70 . I had gone to Texas looking for a low overhead so that I would have more time to figure out how to write. let alone.About the song: I’m having a romance. which doesn’t involve another person. To feel this love. get my massage license and learn how to say y’all. which transports me inward to a generous and faithful lover. indeed. This is when it’s calm. or if I can please my partner with my lovemaking or my dinners. 8 -Guadalupe River Take Me Home Guadalupe River flows on and on and on Guadalupe River please take me to my home Chorus: I long to hear your waterfalls And that sweet cricket’s song Guadalupe River take me home Sun sets over the hill and the workday comes to end Mama and Papa feed their kids and bed they send Hill Country beauty lasts a long time in my mind Been all over this great big world. When it’s not. wear pantyhose and heels. place or thing. such I place I could not find.
Sangha About the Song: In 1973. Dharma. Must be set free. Tong. the culture the teachings of God Reverence for three precious joys. and received his Knowledge . My wish came true along with much more. Dru and Ra . We must not shut our eyes. We can help.White Mountain White Mountain sits on the top of the world Snow lions rule the land. Six peoples come from the land of Tibet Se. Dong. For freedom to pray as we please.Buddha. I had heard about a Tibetan Refugee School called Happy Valley. Dong. I left his ashram and went on to travel in Northern India. 9 . not more than a few feet from my bed. after I met my teacher. I did a Juice Fast that spring. Mu. with the 71 . Pat and Frank Nelson let me stay at their cottage overlooking the river. Sangha Chorus: We don’t have a moment to lose. help with this cause Tibet must be set free. Dru and Ra (2x) Liberty Justice must come to Tibet. Mu. Dharma. cleaning up my innards more than I ever could have imagined. Tong. Sleeping in the back room of a small Chai (tea) shop. Her family had been artists and this cottage had an art studio attached to it. along with a Gallbladder Flush. I went there hoping to be able to do some teaching of English. Six peoples come from the land of Tibet Se. No description is needed here. Each night I was soothed to sleep by the waterfall. The warring have killed and destroyed The people. In Llhasa the gompa no longer will be Unless Tibet will be free White Mountain sits on the top of the world Snow lions rule the land. Here in our land we have fought long and hard. which literally hung over the river.folks who rode it out with composure and humility as the river came up twenty-four feet one night during the flash flood season. Buddha.
to a place of such richness and depth. tranquility That exists in you and me About the Song: I met a lovely man. The woman who founded and directed this school became a mentor to me. Many nows make love so real Two hearts can open. Her book is a vivid account of life in Tibet before the invasion of the Communist Chinese and tragic events that ensued. I feel so grateful to have been able to travel. She was the first Tibetan woman to speak and write English and fortunately was able to escape from Tibet along with the Dalai Lama. culminating in the Tibetan National Uprising on March 10. 1959. 10 . The Daughter of Tibet (Wisdom Publications. through the Internet. like I did. What an honor! Each day I meditated in their mountain temple with the smell of incense and hot butter tea. and to get the chance to immerse myself in the pride of their fascinating culture. after the destruction of her city. England).For the Love Inside We met in the month of September Summer still painted the land Mountain trails brought us together As we held out our hands Chorus: You played your songs and I played mine Hearts singing for the love. The people truly welcomed me into their hearts and I will never forget that. 23 Dering Street. two hearts feel Honesty. I took a giant leap and flew up to meet him in person in the month of 72 . London W 1. I spent a few weeks learning firsthand about the Tibetan people. Lhasa. You can read about Richen Dolma Taring in her autobiographical book.grandfather in the next cot. for the love inside We kissed in the Garden of Eden Swirling round we danced and danced And your wine from black berries Made us laugh and cry perchance Chorus: Bridge: This is my dream I wished all along That someone like you could hear my song. a few years ago who lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
pain. Some part of me.Make Your Work Your Play Chorus: Make your work your play Play your work all day Find the balance that will set you free To be . This is one of the only love songs I have ever written for another person. and absolutely no fun. The word “work” for most of us conjures up exhaustion.The best you can be I’m takin’ a chance on life Leaving my fears behind Movin’ on to all the good things I know I will find Chorus I’ve got nothing to lose Only learnin’ to gain And a positive feeling growing strong Keeping me sane Chorus Give your love away Get it back one day Give your heart a chance to know that It’s the only way About the Song: Most of us don’t make our work our play and our play our work. so it didn’t take much for the song to manifest. we became convinced that the only way to survive would be to work hard and look forward to playing on the weekends. The romance was alive and filled with magic. never believed this horrible falsehood. The relationship was short lived. or 73 . Somehow.September. there have been times when I have had to buckle down in order to get that degree. Throughout my life. 11 . Indian summer filled the mountains and infatuation filled our hearts. Bob plays the piano and has written and recorded many lovely songs. He and I shared our music with each other and with others in the intentional community where he lives. license. but served us both well during its idealistic manifestation.
Now that many of us sit in front of computers for much of our day. Each hour requires a mini-session (five minutes) in order to get the most out of our productive lives. we can still enjoy the process and be grateful for the learning that is involved in accomplishing our task. Most important is finding the balance between work and play. Go for it! 12 -The People Shall Continue . I truly recommend that we work out early in the morning. sky and sand We must now be sure Of the balance of the earth Take care of each and every Creature from its birth Chorus: The people shall continue God has made it so The future holds the promise Children make it grow Fight against those forces Which take away our soul Insure that life continues Beyond what we may know 74 . body and my spirit to develop something important to me. That’s different. and limpness in unused ones. Permission granted by the author Simon J. Ortiz writer of the children’s book. Although we have to work hard in order to accomplish certain goals in our life. yet very much the same. I still have to sit for many hours. To impose the body to sit for too long can create a kind of atrophy where there is tension in overused areas. shoulders. THE PEOPLE SHALL CONTINUE. we will already have had the opportunity to wake ourselves up with strong aerobic and stretching movements. shake out my hands. so that by the time we begin our sedentary workday. Get up. using my brain. It’s only a matter of breaking some bad habits and replacing them with ones that support our higher selves.even complete a book for publication.Poem adaptation. We are all the people People of this land Created from the forces Of water. I find it extremely necessary to take breaks every hour or so. We are not robots and many of our everyday postures and performances are not natural. and breathe some fresh air. move around.
entitled Continuance by an Acoma Pueblo Indian named Simon Ortiz. In order for that to take place. Ortiz. we must know our past. my Aunt Irene and Uncle Harry had a poem. I was working as The Director of Intergenerational Programming at the Southeast Florida Center on Aging. Families. During the middle 1980’s.About the Song: For many years. completely enjoy our present and be prepared for whatever our future holds in store for us. framed and hung in their home. must unite within that deepest part of us to understand this Earth and each other. I have the revised edition. released in 1988. Since I felt so inspired by the contents of the poem. I decided to use it as the title and theme of an intergenerational training manual. 75 . I contacted Mr. While deciding on which songs I would use on this CD. which was found in his 1977 children’s book The People Shall Continue. as well as self-destruct. Through the Acoma Pueblo. This song asks that we heal ourselves through respect for the past. published through Children’s Book Press. He gave me permission to use my adaptation of his poem. We do have the power to self-heal. whether in blood or friendship. I was guided to him at the University of Toronto where he is a professor.
com : Paul Nison s web-site www.com : Testimonial. Raw food recipes and books are also available. Free consultation. www.awareeating . videos.html : Happy Cow provides information on the raw food diet. and knowledge about the greatest lifestyle ever! www. www. hands-on workshops.rawfoodchat. etc. Use the famous CaPNaK Chart to achieve and maintain tissue balance and fluid balance in your body.bodybubble. www. a year long. recipes. meditations. www. massage.com : .com : Products. bodywork and other items for health and healing.com : A testimonial raw weight loss site. Offering supervised fasts and healing programs. resources and world-wide searchable restaurant guide. www. interesting and very informative site with transformational pictures.com : Raw food. www. www.com : Raw food. my story and guidance for others who want to find their way into healthy recovery from obesity and overeating issues. inspiring. www. web site links.shazzie. in accordance with your body's wisdom.eatraw.chefcc. events. www.alokhealth.com : .com : Rio s web site.com : Large site with lots of resources and information www. and articles. yoga.happycow. & celebration.K based site. including Jenny's book "Raw Food Made Easy for 1 or 2 People". exotic retreats.com : I am Los Angeles -based personal chef raw and vegan cuisine. classes. Supporting body-mind-spirit growth and well being through nutrition counseling.raw bc.org : A non-profit organization for raw and living foods in Vancouver and British Columbia . raw diary.Resources: www. recipes. facts and tips for staying raw. from Aging to Youthful.f redericpatenaude. Canada www. www.com : The Boutenko family web-site www.livingnutrition. reiki.com/eco -eating : Learn about the pitfalls to watch out for when you attempt to eat raw. books.rawtimes. www. www.fresh -network.Part III.com : Personal coaching on the phone for women who struggle with eating disorders. www.rawfoodinfo. Loads of info and products.Spread the raw word to everyone! Share your stories.rawgour met.learnrawfood.com : Raw journal. day by day.livingnutrition.com : Lots of info and tons of products.living -foods. 76 .org : Natural healing for people and animals www. www. www. Tons of info for the raw world! www. Practical tools for learning to eat naturally.healthyhealing .rawretreat.com : Don't miss Frederic's weekly e-mail news on the raw-food diet for controversial and useful information.rawfood.thegardendiet.rawlife. raw foods. bodywork and other items for health and healing. or simply feel out of control with food. www.net/raw/raw_living. live-food.com : Great site with lots of information www. www. and consultations in the Chicago area and nationwide.com : lots of information. parties.com : Promoting the livingnutrion magazine.CelestialRawGoddess.tanglewoodwellnesscenter. information and retreats www. www.rawfamily.gardenofhealth.com : Loren Lockman. www.com : Raw food products for organic health and natural diets including weight loss and self help. recipes. emotional eating. the way God made them.dancingdragonenterprises .highvibe.rawreform.com: Nomi Shannons web-site promoting her book the raw gourmet www.com : lots of information for the raw lifestyle www.Alok Holistic Health Community.com : Achieving vibrant health eating the foods God made. recipes and lots of other info for raw food.fromsadtoraw.BeautifulOnRaw.com : Raw food chef Jenny Cornbleet offers raw food diet lectures.com : The Ultimate Guide to the Transformation from Sick to Vigorous.com : U.ArtOfLivingWell. from Plain to Beautiful www.com : The Raw Health Revolution Leader. www.com : Fun.
Medical institute and raw food health retreat in Mexico www. www. SYNERGY Healing combines Holistic Therapy.great site on organic gardening www.com : a major source of resources and networking for the raw world www.about -breathing.baar.com .com : For fresh LIVING greens daily.com . build your own Automatic Sprouter or order one ready-built. Bach Flower Remedies and Meditation.purerawcafe.com .sanoviv. Gabriel Cousens (Foreword).organicfood -4u.conscious nutrition.thefruitpages.com .livingintheraw. www.com . staying motivated and meeting new raw friends.com/castoroilinstruct.goingorganic.A revolutionary system designed to help you blossom into your full potential.a beautiful site with lots of inspiration and info. Erika Lenkert (Author). getting advise. events. www.com : Everything you ever wanted to know about fruit www.co.discountjuicers. Post your daily journal and pictures. lectures and a raw food community posting board. www. www.com . LIVE Hemp Food Products. Hardcover 12 Steps to Raw Foods: How to End Your Addiction to Cooked Food—by Victoria Boutenko.com : Alissa Cohen's raw food support site for asking questions.com .uk www. www.com .com .com .rawcrunch.raw food restaurant in Beverly .com Castor Oil Packs http://www.com : Tons of products at low prices www.Clinical testing and treatments tailored to the individuals needs www.com .livingharvest.rawfoodtalk.fountainofyouthnow.organicgardencafe.eatsprouts.synergy -healing.rawfoodnetwork.stepstoperfecthealth.the best raw bars available! www.This is Brenda Cobbs site with lots of testimonials www.htm Books Eating for Beauty – by David Wolfe Sunfood Diet Success System – by David Wolfe Raw: The Uncook Book: New Vegetarian Food for Life . MA www.uk .Bryant Burke's site with info on seminars.Everything about breathing all in one place. Paperback 77 .Cynthia Beavers web site and her new raw café web site www.rawheaven.rawesome. www.rawfoodhealth.com and www. Read other people's success stories.co.by Juliano Brotman (Author). www.
July 1999) The Raw Life : Becoming Natural In An Unnatural World .by Brigitte Mars (Paperback .by Steve Meyerowitz. Gabriel Cousens (Paperback October 1998) Sproutman ’s Kitchen Garden Cookbook: 250 flourless. Brian Clement (Foreword)( Paperback . a great classic Third Century Aramaic Manuscript. et al(Paperback .Juice Fasting and Detoxification : Use the Healing Power of Fresh Juice to Feel Young and Look Great: The Fastest Way to Restore Your Health .October 1986) Warming Up to Living Foods .by Gabriel.January 1984) The Sprouting Book .July 1998) Raw Kids: Transitioning Children to a Raw Food Diet .March 2003) The Raw Secrets: The Raw Vegan Diet in the Real World by Frederic Patenaude( Paperback ) The Living Foods Lifestyle . MD Cousens.by Paul Nison (Paperback ) Dining in the Raw .by Brenda Cobb (Paperback .April 1999) The Raw Gourmet . et al (Paperback .by Steve Meyerowitz.by Elysa Markowitz. Low Temperature. Not Fat for Life . was translated into English by Edmond Bordeaux Szekely 78 . Living Food Vegetarian Recipes . et al (Paperback .February 2004) Rainbow Green Live Food Cuisine .March 1999) The Hippocrates Diet and Health Program . et al (Paperback . Dairyless. and Culinary Delight With the Raw Foods Diet . Low Fat.by Jason Vale(Paperback .by Ann Wigmore (Paperback . Low Salt. Solomae Primal Mothering in a Modern World .June 2002) The Essene Gospel of Peace.January 2004) Rawsome: Maximizing Health.January 2004) The Juice Master’s Ultimate Fast Food: Discover the Power of Raw Juice .by Rita Romano.by Harvey Diamond( Paperback .by Sergei Boutenko. Energy.by Steve Meyerowitz.by Kristine Nolfi(Paperback .by Ann Wigmore (Paperback . Valya Boutenko (Paperback ) Sprouts The Miracle Food: The Complete Guide to Sprouting . et al(Paperback .by Nomi Shannon. Stoycoff.by Cheryl L.November 1995) Fit for Life.June 2003) Eating Without Heating: Favorite Recipes from Teens Who Love Raw Food .by Hygeia Halfmoon( Paperback ) Raw Food Treatment of Cancer .
in Biology from Brandeis University in 1979 and a Doctor of Medicine from Stanford University in 1984. Dr. She has completed his two-year Macrobiotic Counselor Training Program at the Strengthening Health Institute and is now engaged in the Graduate Studies Program.ucf. 3 – Regia Leftwich Paper: Western Castration: A Feminist View of Hysterectomy http://www. In 1995. Dr. has been “macrobiotic” since conception.) 1 Dr. area. Dr. Adkins retired from medicine in order to heal from a long bout with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.A. Adkins received a B.C.cas. who incidentally. She began practicing and studying macrobiotics and gradually recovered her health. 1989. Adkins has just been invited to be on the full-time faculty at the Strengthening Health Institute in Pennsylvania.shtml 79 .J. She trained in Internal Medicine at Pennsylvania Hospital and completed her residency in anesthesiolo gy at the University of Pennsylvania in 1988. Stacey Adkins lives in Washington D. private cooking lessons and lectures on macrobiotics in the Washington D. Dialectic Press. She then went on to complete a fellowship in cardiac anesthesiology at New York University and a research fellowship in neuroscience at the University of California at San Diego. a renowned macrobiotic counselor and educator in Pennsylvania. She has decided to apply her vast experience and knowledge to helping others achieve optimum health through macrobiotics.C. where she has practiced clinical anesthesiology and taught physicians. Stacey L. She has held faculty positions at NYU. Ralph Alan Dale eventually became an acupuncturist and author of Acupuncture With Your Fingers: An 18-point Healing System.Endnotes: 1 Dr. Adkins is now available for personal macrobiotic counseling sessions. Adkins has studied macrobiotics extensively over the past seven years with Denny Waxman.. UCSD and the Medical College of Pennsylvania. Dr.edu/gendergazette/paper3. with her husband Mark and their son A. She has also studied at the Vega Institute and with Michio Kushi in his Advanced Training Seminars. medical students and nurses.
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