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An Alternative to Cancer
By Jill Ayn Schneider
Disclaimer: Jill Ayn is not a doctor and does not diagnose, prescribe for or treat any disease, nor dispense medical advice. The information you obtain from this book is provided for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for qualified medical advice from a medical professional. Consult an appropriate health professional for advice relating to a medical problem or condition.
I would like to deeply thank my mother, Marion Schlesinger, for passing on great genes, and enough resolve for an army of Jewish mothers; my dad, Irving for his affection, nice singing voice, and spontaneous humor; Benolia (Bea) Thompson, for her witty giggle even throughout her long and painful suffering; my brother Steve, for his devil’s advocate questionings; my sister-in-law, Vera, for constant support in the most tender German and English; my dear son, Aaron, who is the living proof of my taking responsibility for my own body; and most gratefully, my Teacher – Prem Rawat (also know as Maharaji), for giving me a profound method of practical self-awareness, which has enabled me to fine tune my heart with velvet strings of pure love.
Table of Contents Part I Introduction Chapter One: Chapter Two: Chapter Three: Chapter Four: Chapter Five: Chapter Six: Chapter Seven: Chapter Eight: Chapter Nine: Conclusion: The Groundwork Journey to the East The Diagnosis South American Journey Miracle Child Making Stuff Up Being Grateful for Cancer Keeping Our Hysteria Juice Fasting and Natural Foods Getting Clear
Songs for Healing
Take all the Fear Meant To Be Every Game in the Book Hangin’ On To Pure Love Get Simple Key to My Heart Romance of Life Guadalupe River White Mountain For The Love Inside Make Your Work Your Play The People Shall Continue
Bibliography : Books, Websites, Resources
He had just blown it away. Two Class V Pap tests revealed the same results – conclusive for malignancy. In February 1975. and many places and people in between. Shocked and angry. at the age of 29. we have confirmed from these two tests that you definitely have malignant cervical cancer. I was diagnosed with malignant cervical cancer. not just with the news. “We need to get you into the hospital immediately to explore how advanced this cancer is. It felt just like the kiss of death and many of you who are reading this book will know what I mean.” Without even giving me an opportunity to take my next breath and say anything. Fortunately. I’ve come to the conclusion that life itself can be one incredible romance.” 4 . with the essential theme or focus on a creative reaction to a very serious medical diagnosis. Looking down at my folder as he entered the office. As a child of the 1960’s. but with the harshness that followed. for me. I was primed by the philosophical culture of the day to search for that instinctive possibility of innate joy and enthusiasm for life. given and partaken. Miraculously. true and unadulterated romance exists with or without a partner or even a fantasy to entice my imagination. but because. whether of great pain or tremendous joy. This is a memoir of my life thus far. Dr. Oscar Wilde Throughout my experiences of this life. he looked up and said. I didn’t have the wind to react in any way. don’t you think that perhaps I could try some natural healing on myself first. anxiously waiting for him to enter. before anything invasive and drastic?” By his expression. saying.Part I: Introduction To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. this delicious connection with an infinite permanence has enabled me to be appreciative for all that I have been shown. I remember with great clarity that eventful day I was called in to the doctor’s office to discuss two duplicate test results. you would have thought that I had held up a gun or a knife to his throat. ____. I’ve traversed the possibility. I sat in his office across from an imposing mahogany desk. Not just because I’ve been married twice and fallen in love many more times than that. he left the room quickly. Fear trampled within my mind and my body. From the suburbs of New York City to the Himalayan Mountains. “Jill. he then said. came this: “Respectfully. “My nurse will be in touch with you to set up the hospital visit.” I flashed back to the time I was sitting in the principal’s office in junior high school being reprimanded for talking back to my math teacher on account of a bad grade.
Should I think otherwise now? Leaving the downtown Miami studio that crisp February evening. enabling me to set the stage that would allow me to overcome my fear of illness and of death! The old adage the show must go on manifested that evening. Bob. but today I found out that I have cancer. I prayed not just for myself but for peace and love to manifest in this world. Just when I thought that my rehearsals had brought me to a professional level. knowing that I would be facing some interesting decisions over the next few days and weeks. I’m okay. Standing in the dark tiny room waiting our turn. Amazingly. Courage would be the key element to take me across the bridge of this fear into a philosophical and spiritual transformation. I felt the fear. a warm and peaceful current entered the airtight studio. I sensed that my life was not my own. but I also felt a formidable realization spurning from inside of me. that has been the case. I walked to the car. Breathing a deep sigh of relief. I sensed an intense connection with all that was around me. that night I slept well. My musical partner. this dilemma was attempting to put a damper on the flame. the fear of illness and of death. How could I not? But it was coupled with an inner connection that would gently guide me through this remarkable time. If it takes something that intense to face those fears. going over and over the fallout of that early morning appointment. I thought about what the day had brought … scary thoughts for sure. We drove in silence to the studio. So far. Bob kept looking at me to make sure I was okay. I had this uncanny feeling that if I could live with more inner understanding and less fear I could beat the odds and heal myself. picked me up that night.I maintain ed a stoic expression for the rest of that day. Surprisingly. The songs seemed to break the spell of confusion. I knew very little about natural healing at that time.” The look on his face conveyed genuine concern. That evening I was scheduled to sing and play guitar at a local Miami radio station. Inexplicably. I felt true support in a simple hug when my friend Bob dropped me off at my home. I played and sang my universal peace songs better than ever. I still trust that the Creator will never give me challenges which I can’t handle. but I did realize early on that fear would serve no purpose. my prayers had never been so selfless during that endless wait. “Bob. then I’m grateful. mainly helping to remove the paralyzing fear that might ruin this sweet musical opportunity. certainly not expecting to hear this. In my meditation I knew what it 5 . Thirty-one years later. I looked up at an unusually clear and shimmering sky. When it was our turn to perform.
I also felt that I was meant to live to make this life better for me and for others. Through this ordeal of facing malignant cancer has unfolded a rare life which I have celebrated in this book and CD of music . I just knew that it wasn’t my time. Recalling various accounts he had read about the power of positive emotions. a former editor of The Saturday Review. If I can inspire you to question. Norman Cousins. he reported receiving some 3. I just knew that I needed to strengthen my body by detoxing. Upon returning from a trip to the Soviet Union. he experienced a gradual withdrawal of symptoms and eventually regained most of his lost freedom of movement. Cousins said that he was experiencing stiffness in his limbs and nodules on his neck and hands. Anyone who is facing the issue of serious disease is in a precarious position. Cousins’ account gave no evidence of a confirmed diagnosis. It brought out my fiercest warrior. I feel for all of you. In time. at least to have the confidence to do that much. passionate and unwilling to just follow certain protocols without questioning . with the cooperation of his doctor. to take matters into his own hands. and the value of vitamin C. Cousins checked out of the hospital and into a hotel. Nevertheless. Cousins recounted his 1976 New England Journal of Medicine article describing a self-healing experience alleged to have happened in 1964.000 letters from doctors praising his decision to pursue self-treatment and supporting his mind-over-matter healing ideas. whether you live or whether you die. then you are at the beginning of making the necessary changes to heal yourself. or that his fortunate recovery was any more than a normal resolution of his symptoms over time. A cancer diagnosis can bring out the best or the worst in us. a degenerative disease of the connective tissue. After suffering adverse reactions to most of the drugs he was given. arranged for showings of laugh-provoking films.Romanci ng Life: An Alternative to Cancer. scrape. unwilling to accept anything that didn’t make complete common sense to me. In my opinion it didn’t make sense to freeze.felt like to leave this world behind. I also know very profoundly that no matter how much time we get to have in these human bodies. and read humorous books. and so. revitalized a popular belief in the power of the mind on the body in his book Anatomy of an Illness (Norton. cut or remove anything in my body. I wasn’t afraid of that. Cousins decided. 1979). we can be grateful. and that he was given a tentative diagnosis of ankylosing spondylitis. discontinued his medications except for intravenous injections of vitamin C. The mind can be a powerful ally when it is used for healing. But. purifying the blood and then 6 .
Without any real formal 7 . although we get so wrapped up in this world that we forget that childlike simplicity that lies within us. My initial response to having cancer was to step back. live peacefully in nature. then perhaps I could transform the situation and just change this diagnosis. my music has been with me to support and remind me of who I am and why I am here on this planet. your community and this Earth. I was open to understanding the cause of the disease and willing to make whatever changes necessary to alter this diagnosis. organizations and websites dedicated to guiding you to holistic wellness. I’ve observed that even if modern medicine’s protocol is to cut something from a person. All of us have the creative spark within us. body and spirit a proper chance to correct the imbalance that caused the disease in the first place. The birth of my son. I just put myself in a cautious first gear. quite different from most women from my background and age. This book also offers you a bibliography with resources of books. along with the every present conscious choice to go within and continue to explore the unlimited resources of living my dreams in full color. eat simple foods and rest. major influences in my life and some encouraging passages about healing this cancer in some exotic locations where I have traveled. but if I could figure that out and make the necessary alternations in my life. I guess I was and still am. the disease could easily reappear later somewhere else. creatively and humorously throughout the day. My music is probably my most tender accomplishment. since the cause of the disease never gets addressed. I must admit that I had already lived an alternative life. two and a half years after the cancer diagnosis will most definitely inspire you. Teaching kindergarten for a few years in my early career set the stage for being quick thinking a practical. you learn how to act quickly. and then shifted into higher gears when the engine was warmed up. Throughout my life.building my body/mind with gentle loving energy. In this medical non-emergency situation. encouragement and resources for your research and study will bring you closer to accepting the balance and harmony that are the keys to health: harmony with yourself. When you have the responsibility of twenty-five 5 year olds. reflect. your family and friends. giving the mind. Some say I was courageous. I am confident that these words of inspiration. I wasn’t sure what caused the cancer. In this memoir I am sharing some basics about my background.
training. 8 . to create from that a few sweet melodies and lyrics which express my romance for life. no knowledge of theory or notes. I have transferred my ability to listen adeptly to others of many different styles and personalities and then.
where. somehow transforming my way of seeing and being in this world. we reconnected and had the opportunity to speak for hours on the phone. I vaguely remember the pungent combined scents of chewing tobacco and coconut butter on her velvety smooth skin as we cuddled together in her bedroom next to mine. I can still see myself as a five-year-old happily sitting cross-legged on the floor in my pretty. She was independent. hip and chic. humming along with some popular music of late 1940’s radio. To this day she still drives and even shops and returns. Mom. games. My dad made it possible for her to have someone to help in the home. books and records. I looked at her life more deeply. My earliest memory. Kahlil Gibran Without my even realizing it. Her sister. They were the most popular of the Western singers and were made more so by their movies and TV shows. her eyes sparkled and a huge smile took over her face. blue-carpeted bedroom singing along to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans’s version of Happy Trails. I felt very secure to be around these two earthy women. from age 2 to 12. The ten years. my African American live-in housekeeper. I was always receiving the latest dolls. who worked for the Stern family who lived across the street.Chapter One: The Groundwork Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness. she grew up raising her younger brothers and sisters from an early age. but rather an opportunity to do what came naturally to her – give of herself. not looking for marriage. She has always been very clear about exactly how she wanted to live. When Bea laughed. unschooled but very intelligent. Later in my life. perhaps I was two. Anne. But it was the recorded music that thrilled me the most. I found out that she was also part Cherokee and had a German-Jewish grandfather. music has been a major source of strength and inspiration for as far back as I can remember. was very much in my life as well. that we spent together imprinted my life with a succulent infusion of unconditional love. at 91 is very modern. Bea had just arrived from North Carolina. It could have been the huge expanse of the Western landscape’s open range or just the lopping cowboy rhythms that moved me to feel a 9 . finding out that she loved working for my family. is hearing Benolia (Bea) Thompson. and even to have some visits when I returned to New York. Since Dad was in the toy business. her whole body shook.
My brother. Bo Diddley. When my Grandma Jenny would take me to a Broadway show. New York. My mother. In the privacy of my own living room. Her high school graduation picture and others that I have seen of her appear to be very serious. I would learn those same dances. which landed her a job as a court reporter with a very good attorney. a tiny suburban post-war town beach town in Long Island. Golf and ballroom dancing were their entertainments. my family lived a privileged life. Ella Fitzgerald. Sammy Davis Jr. Chuck Berry. my infatuation with the elixir of music formed. Mambo. we always left with an album. she left her profession to become a housewife and mother. Rumba. Steve and I. played out on the street with a neighborhood full of kids. Later on in my teens. I also lived and breathed the sounds of early rock n’ roll. The technology of records. From Bea’s deep bluesy humming of 1940’s jazz — to the dusty yodel of Western cowboy songs.. who emulated these giants. She encouraged my Dad to great heights and as a result she was able to reap the benefits of having a lovely home and the social life that accompanied it.connectedness to my own open-hearted spirit. especially to my own songs. I thank her now even more than ever for her wisdom in knowing what we really needed. did well in school and remained healthy. and many others of influence and talent into my world. Samba and Meringue. My dad had a successful toy business and had to spend many hours traveling to his factory in New Jersey. I remember begging Dad to take me to the Brooklyn Paramount when I was thirteen 10 . elegant. Buddy Holly and the many groups such as The Beatles. I still like to dance. Within a couple of days I would memorize all the tunes and even make up dances to go with them. As soon as she married. made sure that my brother and I were completely being raised in The American Dream. Elvis. Popular music of the 1950’s also brought Frank Sinatra. Growing up in Lido Beach. radio and TV basically took these inspiring people to a whole new level. My parents were excellent dancers. which she accomplished. My mother was very much in control of how I was raised. After high school she studied and became a legal stenographer. intelligent and quite beautiful. so she focused on getting a decent education. where they became larger than life. She had grown up having much less. A typical 1960’s teenager. Each weekend I would watch my mother adorn herself in the most stylish clothes for an evening in New York’s famous nightclubs. mostly studying the Latin rhythms of Cha Cha.
a summer in Europe. Joni Mitchell. I dreamt more of being an anthropologist like Margaret Mead. Although I was exposed to a vast array of musical styles. Peter. Marie. Perhaps. or an explorer like Alexandra David-Neel. to see and hear Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie. then settle down. I began my second grade teaching career in the same school system where I grew up. My emotional involvement with the children was deep and their young age gave me 11 . most college women my age went into nursing or teaching. Phil Ochs. as my mother had done. Joan Baez. In those days. I actually got to meet him. something was changing inside of me and I knew that I would have to seek out alternatives to my methods of instruction in the classroom. theater and politics. Ian and Sylvia. In 1966. Peter. feeling my way through the boundaries and politics of what would be acceptable in my classroom. They had the courage to sing and write about what was important and a belief that change was necessary to make for a better world. These musicians were huge political icons. music. were not just singers. getting to travel and study unique native cultures around the world. hanging out with some members of the cast of the Broadway show called Hair. creating a revolution which had infiltrated most aspects of art. Pete Seeger. I became a respectable school teacher.years old to see Bo Diddley. I had to start somewhere. when I graduated college with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Education. dance. I made sure that he understood what was behind their precise passion. becoming his massage therapist and a dear friend of his family ever since. Their innocence and spontaneity made my classroom come alive. work for him for a year. Buffy St. Paul and Mary and Joan Baez. Well. Between Dylan’s LSD influenced lyrics. Leonard Cohen. I taught pretty much by the book for the first year. I loved the children. My family assumed that I would teach for a few years. Gordon Lightfoot. I had no idea that I would continue to be in the educational field 40 years later. by my father’s and mother’s advice. It was also an experiential way of keeping up with the evolving energies of a revolutionary time. when my children were grown. and of course. Aaron. start a family and not have to work other than in the home. Judy Collins. learning to play the guitar and sing had a most potent influence on my life. Bob Dylan. When I first took my son. It was a unique time since the whole youth culture was shifting. Later in my life. their music and the effects that they had on me and many others of my generation . Paul and Mary. I could go back to teaching. In pumps and Jackie Kennedy style suits. but accordingly.
Miss Schlesinger’s (my maiden name) classroom was permeated by a spirit of cooperation and affection among the children and a real enthusiasm for learning on their parts. A special teacher had been assigned to observe and assist me in my 2nd grade classroom. Just being a crystal clean mirror for them to see themselves sets the foundation of a healthy self-image for their whole life. We were both on a very small ship or 12 . I asked her to share her secrets with me. after teaching for two years. I was living in New York City and playing the roles of two different people. By day. I was a schoolteacher working with very young children. She wanted her children to meet the world with curiosity and wonder for that is how she meets the world. Then. In 1968. These optional ways of perceiving and thinking gave me ideas that were different and the courage to explore them. It was during that trip that I met Philip de Castan. Because they were lovable. she wrote to the Superintendent about my work. I tried to understand what it was in Miss Schlesinger’s method which had inspired and maintained this spirit. which was and is how most authority figures rule and control others. The role of the authority figure was important as well. the grassroots counterculture meant a lot to me. I took an extended trip to Europe starting off with a girlfriend and ending up on my own after several months. but not based on fear. Her ability to work so effectively sprung from her respect and love for each human being in her room. A master teacher simply masters his or her subject and. to think outside of the box I had grown up in. Hype and media aside. whatever is presented to the children will be absorbed and used as a catalyst to stimulate further learning. 1967 In this atmosphere of the late 1960’s.permission to hold them and mold them at the same time. Josephine Kellman. musicians and writers while in my early 20’s in New York’s Greenwich Village. As I knew her better I began to realize of course that there were no secrets. and by night. many of whom were artists. I felt frightened of them because I knew that I was never going to be the same after the influence that these freedom-loving people had on me. asking that I be allowed to return to the system if I so chose at any time. I couldn’t help but love them. I knew that unconditional acceptance of their being (not their behavior) was the only way to create an atmosphere where those young minds could relax and allow the learning process to happen. and it still does. I recently uncovered a letter from 1967 in some very old files written to the Superintendent of Schools. energeticall y transfers a desire to learn more. When she heard that I was leaving the school for an extended year abroad. I gingerly mingled with beatniks. I experienced the solidarity of this time of great upheaval. through the delight of mastery.
I spent more time looking for inspirational books and intelligent music to balance my growing skepticism of the world as it was. unfolded simultaneously. Life has its plan. So completely enamored and drawn to this person. which I somehow suspected was not far from my reach. The intense part is why it was short. As I felt this inner thirst welling up inside of me. The traditional grip was strong. but after we met. These times became alive as writers. the traditional family values of 1960’s America didn’t quite feel right to me. AKA Bob Dylan. and Baba Ram Dass spoke about his journey to be with his Babaji in Be Here Now. performers and little school teachers like me. I made some quick mental travel changes and went home with him. I was supposed to be headed for Israel. even though it was Greek to me. Through his writings. followed the politics and new philosophies of the day. the times they were a changing. Philip had just finished a couple of years of graphic design school in London and was on his way back to his home in Nicosia. I felt I was also preparing to live in a whole new way. I also witnessed a deeper need to know Peace. actors. he would become a great influence in my life. the capitol of his country. he invited me to come to Cyprus. 13 . doesn’t it? It was a short but very intense relationship. It felt as if those familial desires were abrasively rubbing at the core of my being. As you can well imagine by now. songwriters. mostly because I don’t like rules without reason. reading metaphysical books and contemplating many deep questions about life. Spanish and Greek. Instead of shopping for clothes and makeup to present what I considered to be a facade. me included. In the 60’s many of us were exploring all possible avenues of personal development. While Carlos Castaneda wrote about Don Juan’s jewels of peyote perception and Herman Hesse journeyed to the East to find his Master. An attentive crowd of Greek Cypriots joined him with his guitar as he sang. The rest was history. By the middle 1960’s. it was natural that the Human Potential Movement. Along with the Civil Rights and Anti-War Movement. His shoulder length brown hair electrified the atmosphere as he switched from singing in French. In between the songs. So the reflection of who I was and who I wanted to be was held up for me to see myself much more honestly. English. Within about a year from that day. heating up a part of me that could possibly explode unless I took my own stand to live my own life. we were married in New York City. an island in the Mediterranean . with its intense interest in the evolution of human consciousness.ferry from Athens to Cyprus. but not strong enough to distract me from new and diverse ideas that were paving the way through a delicate passage into adulthood. The Beatles had been to India to study Transcendental Meditation. I spent many hours by myself just listening to music. were lyrics written and sung by Robert Zimmerman. he made jokes that put the audience in the palm of his hands. I approached Philip after his performance mentioning that I also played and sang with guitar.
I took weekend trips on sailboats with handsome captains. he taught and conducted research at the Department of Social Relations and the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University from 1958 to 1963. philosopher. John with two of my best friends. the salty seawater and the gentle breezes on my body. Thomas in the American Virgin Islands. spent lazy afternoons watching natives climbing palm trees for the delicacy of the exotic coconut fruit and its milk. After studying psychology and earning an M. Rightly called the Galileo of Consciousness. Because of the controversial nature of this unique research. I smoked a bit of marijuana. Ph. While at Harvard. It was during these months away from friends and family that I thoroughly re-read Baba Ram Dass’ Be Here Now.A. took the opportunity to stop smoking cigarettes and even went vegetarian. from Stanford. in collaboratio n with Timothy Leary. he went public with his observations of the mind made with psychedelic mindscopes and helped initiate a renaissance in consciousness. (1920-1996) was a psychologist. I walked barefoot on sharp coral rocks 14 . from Wesleyan and a Ph. Allen Ginsberg. optimist. body and spiritual existence — past. I felt this human rawness with a sense of divinity thrown in. Feeling very safe and ready for my generation’s intensive rite of passage. son of a wealthy lawyer who was the president of the New York. Richard Alpert and Leary were dismissed from Harvard in 1963. Richard Alpert’s explorations of human consciousness led him to conduct intensive research with LSD and other psychedelic elements. Timothy Leary. Richard Alpert wrote about his Master and his inevitable transformation from caterpillar to butterfly.D. teacher. I spent the next nine hours hovering over the turquoise Caribbean ocean. I found myself teaching first grade in a private school in St. and I played my folk music in small clubs up until the wee hours of the night. author and revolutionary avatar of the mind. Two months later. The islands taught me about the sensuality of the warm sun. and Hartford Railroad and founder of Brandeis University. It was protectively allowing me to drift freely through the moment without focusing for too long on any fears. I took my first LSD trip at Trunk Bay on the magnificent island of St. I made superficial acquaintances using music to inch my way into many of the island’s eclectic circles.Ram Dass was born in 1933 as Richard Alpert. In August of 1972. present and future. Leaving New York and flying to a Caribbean paradise was the best thing I could have ever done and it was enough to set the scene for an appealing new chapter in my life. Dr. I swam on the ocean without swimming. New Haven.D. thoroughly witnessing my own mind. and others. explorer. Aldous Huxley.
in that moment. I was re-experiencing my birth. It was more of a thirst to know something deeper than what we see in our everyday lives. I found the act itself to be very annoying and pretentious.without injury. As I slowly receded from the influence of the drug. I stayed with my brother. I just wanted to stay in the now. which was just enough for a round trip fare and $100 to spare. my childhood — my life and even my death without a blinking of an eye. To be honest. During those hours. While in New York City. mostly because I didn’t sell that VW they had bought for me for enough money. the tones and rhythms of movement and sound serenaded my senses like never before. Sensing that I was about to take a major journey. I even gave away my guitar and my books of protest songs. I still had more vacation time. I sensed that I was being guided to meet someone who could help me find my teacher. Trying to prepare for the journey. I sold my car and packed myself up to return to New York. Within two weeks. I applied and waited for my visa to Nepal. The colors. recuperate and come back down to Earth. I just felt a trust. Although the unsettling reactions of my concerned parents caused me some discomfort. a feeling so natural guiding me. Who could understand why I would be interested in searching for answers to my questions about existence. Steve and sister-in-law. instead of looking for a great bargain at Bloomingdales. I didn’t want to protest anymore — I wanted to find Peace. Later on that evening. I knew that I had to travel to India. While I might be a wild woman. the textures. I went ahead with my plans. I felt such a passion to go to India and Nepal that I really didn’t know if I would ever return to the United States. which I did. My Mom and Dad freaked out. while I counted up my school teaching money. Over the next few days. so I grabbed my latest boyfriend Bill. I wanted to experience sex on LSD. my desperation for inner awareness was critical. I packed a lightweight backpack with a variety of rugged clothes and a warm down sleeping bag. a need within me began to emerge. That wildness never came from anger. Even Joan Baez sounded shallow. back in my house. At that moment. they gave me a couch to stay on as I readied myself. I heard my mind come in to remind me who and where I was – and with judgment of course. So determined to leave. I promised that I would write every few days. Sometimes being very naïve can also be a blessing in disguise. all of my interactions with others brought me back into my ego and the illusory dimensions of past and future. I do stay in touch with those who love me. Fortunately. 15 . Vera. allowing me to gently recompose. but the round-trip ticket was a better deal than one-way. the only music I could listen to was the sound of whales. I could hardly breathe. In fact. The conditional nature of my relationship with them just pushed me even further away from their grip.
Patrick said. My dance was accompanied by the sounds of roosters and temple bells. pungent smells and colorful sights offered exotic sensuality very distinctive and acutely stimulating. while Nepalese people went about their daily lives. “Why are you here?” I asked. Dressed as a sadhu (monk) in a long white robe. I felt this kind of a drive in my own life. Walking out of my hotel onto the dirt main roads. I had a habit of attracting transformational energy. no matter what I was pursing at the time. I found solace in painting a watercolor sunrise in my diary and then proceeded to dance on the roof of the hotel. She gave me the name Ayn. a far cry from his British Cockney roots. who have a sense of self-ownership. which was legal in those days. Ayn Rand My mother was reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand when she gave birth to me on August 18. as the sun came up. and leaves them responsible for choosing their course in life. awakening and calling Hindu worshipper s to their prayers. It relies on people who are capable of thinking for themselves. The unique sounds. I didn’t know at that moment how this man would profoundly alter the course of my life. I noticed a few Western travelers dotting the local restaurants and hashish shops. through voluntary trade with others. in February 1973. He radiated an air of serenity and effortless delight with the role that he played. embedding her theories and ideas into her well known novels. Nepal. After three days of explorations in the city. and the drive to make the most of themselves and their opportunities. I gratefully rested on the steps of a small Hindu temple taking in the crisp air and blazing sun. I landed in Kathmandu.Chapter Two: Journey to the East Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision. After finding a small hotel where I could recuperate from the grueling airplane journey. She believed that a free society leaves people free to pursue their own interests. 1945. (pronounced Iyn) as my middle name. She was also a philosopher. “I 16 . the city and outlying foothills of the Himalayan Mountains could quite easily have become an entertaining diversion and distraction from my real thirst. I later found out that Ayn Rand was more than a writer. It was there that I met Patrick O’Reilly. Patrick seemed completely at ease in this rugged and distant setting. Very old and inviting. Traveling to the East was my way of expanding my consciousness in the same way that Herman Hesse and others had done before me. and this eastern direction was born of a sizzling passion of wanting to know the source of my existence – and I would later learn that this was not exactly a trip for sissies.
This hotel was a hangout for Westerners buying their hashish from the downstairs store. Knowing that he was married helped to keep things in a real perspective. We ate at Mama’s. his azure eyes and unwrinkled face held something sacred. One night a few days after we first met. But at this point in my life. Patrick was an elegant man. I awoke that first night from my very light sleep — if I was even able to sleep at all — to the sound of a rat scurrying underneath my bed. 17 . I needed to heal. Patrick helped me to calm down with simple activities. something I wanted for myself. we decided to rent a little house outside of the Tibetan Village of Boudna.” As he spoke. I carried with me so many fears with built-in tension overlapping many layers of emotional. since I knew.have been traveling in the East on and off for many years. After spending a few days together in Kathmandu and the surrounding villages. I also return often to my home in England. Remember that I had started this journey with only $100 and it had to last as long as possible. We paid $15 for the next two weeks. It was your basic model mud hut with a thatched roof in the middle of the dried up rice paddies. I speak some of the languages (Hindi and Tibetan) and have a great interest in the culture of these regions. we shared a room in the Eden Hashish Den. where I have a wife and children. watching Buddhist rituals and chatting with local Nepalese. probably $1. I trusted the feeling.50 for the both of us. that I also contained that same capacity within myself. a small restaurant in the village for $. In my heart. eating delicious Tibetan food. Patrick slept like a baby. the last thing I was interested in was another fling. visiting with other Westerners who were also traveling and living in the area. an excitement bubbled about discovering a person who had attained a level of peace I did not know. He carried with him some books which I read voraciously during the day and by candlelight in the evening. like meditating on the moon and on my breath. at least intellectually. mental and physical stress. Patrick became my brother on a very deep level. Inside and out. Patrick and I became acquainted by spending the next few days walking paths along dried up rice fields. It was a cheap flop house.00 a night — very basic accommodations.
I just followed it. I would follow any path that I thought would lead me there and I prayed continually to find what I was looking for. the small eight-year-old child followed in his father’s footsteps to become a Teacher dedicated to imparting this precious teaching called Knowledge . while we were staring at a glorious full moon next to the backdrop of these Himalayan foothills. something that his Teacher imparts to those who are thirsty and who sincerely want to know a Peace which comes from within. Prem Rawat. I was deeply motivated to find someone who could direct me inward.I was reading a book called The Third Eye by Lopsang Rampa. The ice-cold water and straight-edged razor sent a chill down my spine as I looked out upon this colorful Tibetan village. I had not intended to travel to Kathmandu in order to trek to Everest or to smoke hashish in exotic dens. this was no pleasure vacation either. so much so.” He then proceeded to take out a picture of a thirteen year old boy and showed it to me. a Tibetan Doctor. Patrick spoke of Knowledge . His name is Prem Rawat. he would tell me more about himself. who explained the connection between science and spirituality. He said. I felt something very kind and comforting happening . traveled with his father. all throughout Northern India. Much of what Patrick even said to me about this Knowledge went over my head. sure!” At that point. “It’s a couple of years old. From the age of four. that when his father passed. I didn’t judge it or worry about it. but somehow the feelings entered my heart. also known as Maharaji. this young teacher. “I’m on my way to India to see my Teacher. “Yes. Patrick said. 18 . I would have rather died in some cave in the Himalayas than have settled for some forlorn emptiness in a split-level house in suburban America. “Would you like to join me on my trip to India?” Not having any pressing appointments. For a young woman used to country clubs and fancy hotels. Indeed. so what’s the difference with a bit of schlepping. As Patrick and I got to know each other. Just wish I could afford a Sherpa to carry my backpack. One star-studded evening in this Himalayan setting. What came from this small child amazed everyone. I said. One evening. and spoke to large crowds of thousands of people. I thought about this as I leaned over to have my head shaved by a Tibetan barber. and his passions. He is now fifteen. I had probably forgotten where I was anyway. he said. and I didn’t.” I looked at this image with an open curiosity. Shri Hans Ji Maharaj. his life.
male and female. that passed us on the paths each day walking to and from our little hut in a field of rice dried up rice paddies. I felt clean. hand-painted wall hangings used as focal points in Tibetan meditation). Coincidently. The Pokhara Valley lies 200 kilometers west of Kathmandu. made of mud and cow dung. Steve. Steve and his wife Vera were making a trip around the world. as well as the heads of many Tibetan monks. To their surprise. they made plans to stop in Kathmandu and visit with me for five days. They loved it! We were all so happy to see each other. they walked the few miles to our village each morning to visit us at our cute little thatched hut. I met them at the airport with my shaven head. Secondly. And a shopping we did go. Thirdly. I was hoping that I might be headed toward a monk-like state of being at this time in my life. It is customary for the women to wear their wealth on their body. We drove to Pokhara. In their itinerary. The next day we rented the best car in town along with an experienced driver. an avid photographer. who accompanied me to the airport to greet them. and their amber and turquoise jewelry. It was a 1969 Volkswagen station wagon. Firstly. 19 . rugs and jewelry. and for the next five days. I was traveling very light. it was an act of renouncing this physical attachment to my learned identity. No combs. brushes or mirrors. For me. We had set this meeting up before I even left New York. I didn’t have to worry if my hair looked a certain way or not. documented passionately all of our experiences together in this unique setting. they wanted to see the Tibetan tonkas (silk. refreshed. known as the jumping ground for the best trekking in Nepal. my brother.Patrick’s head was shaven. and free in many ways. my head has a beautiful shape. Patrick’s ability to translate helped Steve and Vera find some fabulous treasures. which I never would have known. Steve and Vera were also impressed with Patrick. Mostly. since they are art collectors and dealers. had I not seen it in this manner. They already knew that my transformation was definitely progressing well. We all spent the days on foot in the surrounding terraced foothills enjoying the beautiful February weather and appreciating the colorfully dressed Nepalese women wearing their saris. enriched with gorgeous lakes and surrounded by picturesque mountains. We got them checked into the Palace Hotel in Kathmandu.
Patrick and I stayed with the driver for the trip back. I know that they felt that I was in good hands. The diarrhea caused by dysentery. I had already spent half of my original $100 in the first couple of weeks. Patrick helped me in all possible ways to get through not feeling well in this extremely unsympathetic setting and offered me some Ayurvedic herbal medicines. we then traveled by third-class trains across Northern India. that’s for sure. I was also pretty sick with dysentery. money was not the means that transported people there. Patrick would never have asked me for a rupee. Of course. Patrick and I had $50 between us. Nothing ever in my reality would indicate what they felt like to actually travel on. I needed to use the bathroom often. It was an exciting few days with my family. The mystery of the East was so alluring that for many of us. Sharing what I had was very natural. It was common in the 1970’s for young people like Patrick and me to travel without much money. and decided to fly back to Kathmandu with Vera. feeding you and wishing you well on your journey. and the bottom line was that I couldn’t have gotten there by myself. I just learned how to hold my breath. Given the unbearable stench.Steve got altitude sickness that evening. By this time. From Patna. the longing in my heart to know this inner place of self-love was driving me to learn more about Patrick’s teacher and to stay in the East to accomplish my goals. Money is energy and the trade was my safety and my total well-being. a city in the Northeastern area of India. and he had nothing. but helped a bit in the meantime. which tasted really awful. There was more of a spiritual enchantment connected with the journey. also having 20 . Thank God I didn’t also have any vomiting and fever. What is fair is fair. Obviously. We boarded a French freak bus (literally translated as a bus operated by French hippies enroute to India). a common problem while traveling in third world countries. a direct route west to New Delhi. results in people losing important salts and fluids from the body which can be fatal if the body dehydrates. My brother and sister-in-law continued on their trip around the world. still in Kathmandu. I kept entrusting Patrick with my life. These trains were the dilapidated wooden ones with people hanging from racks. But the logistics of the plan was to get to India to see the teacher. with people taking you in to their homes. benches and out the windows just like what you see in documentaries on public TV. Two weeks later. No amusement park ride.
An emperor. “You will be sorry you were so close to this great monument and didn’t see it. since most people missed the hole in the floor. Her heartbroken husband spent approximately two decades. one finds peace. Shah Jahan. Patrick. she died giving birth to their 14th child. What a schlep it turned out to be! I was trying to learn how to travel light. It was here in the Teacher’s ashram (shelter) that I met a man named Charanand. He answered the door when Patrick and I arrived after that grueling trip. insisted that we stop at the Taj Mahal. fulfilling his wife’s dying wish by building a monument to their love. or a crowded Manhattan subway at rush hour in August. Despite my immense discomfort and nervous restlessness. What carried me through that challenging week was quietly focusing inward in any way that I could imagine. and much of the money in the royal treasury. Later in the day. even to Nepal and India. So.) After a full week of more horrendously hot. when I was feeling better. The biggest realization so far that I understood was that you can’t get away from your mind and the pain that it brings you.” he said. built the Taj Mahal as a memorial to his beloved wife. my purpose in looking for a Teacher was to find out how to live this Peace from the inside out. but the heaviest part of me was something that didn’t weigh an ounce.to watch where I stepped. no matter if I am in Maui on a cliff overlooking the sea. crowded and unsanitary third class trains. In the 21 . we slept overnight in New Delhi. but mainly remember spending much of the afternoon looking for discreet places in the bushes to relieve myself of the constant diarrhea. In 1631. If you take this facackta (Yiddish – you guess) mind to the most beautiful and externally peaceful place in the world. If people think that by journeying to an exotic and far-off location. Since I didn’t know how to really go inside and ignore my crazy mind. (They just don’t make guys like this anymore. I had been so anxious to leave the West and yet I took my mind with me. you still have your unnerving thoughts to distract you from the beauty. I tried very hard to distract myself by singing in my head every song I had ever memorized. I did take a tour to learn about this incredible wonder of the world. they’re incorrect. I sheepishly consented. who stayed brilliantly calm during this journey. Thank God for my good balance.
but they could not always be accommodated. let me out a couple of times that day. in more ways than you can imagine. thereby improving my elimination system tenfold. and the water tasted delicious. chubby and dressed in a well-pressed white shirt and black pants. Though exhausted.) I found myself a futon on the women’s side of the ashram. Five hours later. since then I have squatted. Later that day. 22 . enjoyed. almost for no reason at all. instantly quieting my unruly mind. which means the City of Love. and wait for me while I snuck behind a tree to do my business. There was an excitement permeating the air and it was contagious. the sun was shinning through the eyes and smile of this magnificent being. one of the seven holiest places according to Hindu mythology. as the Gods are believed to have left their footprints in Haridwar. Charanand told us to leave immediately for Prem Nagar. Later that day. another ashram of this Teacher. He then spoke seriously of a boundless love that could be accessed right within inside of each of us. I did have my priorities. a meal was given. and I can help you find it. we walked a short distance to Prem Nagar. From the bus station in Haridwar. The next day. In the morning.middle of a gray dusty city. In his talk. I could finally rest. I sat just a few feet from him with my head tilted upward toward his pleasing face. We headed North of Delhi in an old.” He spoke of Knowledge as a valuable seed already planted within. to sit and listen to the Teacher speak. Everyone. took off my heavy backpack and laid down to rest. we arrived. I felt so grateful to be still. not having my intestines being rumbled about. I especially learned to love their very clean squat toilets! (As a matter of fact. I was also relieved. the young Teacher arrived on a motorbike to the overwhelming excitement of a small group of people. His message was simple: “The peace that you are looking for is within you. Our bus was bound for Haridwar or the Gateway to the Gods. which must be nourished with the proper attention. more than they were already doing. just before the sun was setting. could see I was really tired. lovely and helpful. the Teacher joked around. He was very short. dusty bus without a bathroom. a small group of us eagerly filed up a narrow staircase to a rooftop garden. high-pitched voice took hold of me. I remember asking the driver in my sign language to stop the bus. and most importantly. His thick accent and prepubescent. The food was wonderful. making us all feel so good.
We said our goodbyes while I was picking potatoes in the garden for the evening meal. In everything I did at Prem Nagar. With each new day. I felt inspired by watching his dancer-like movements as I watched him walk through the gates of Prem Nagar. Not knowing if I would ever see him again. There was to be a large festival in a nearby location and everyone at Prem Nagar was involved in the preparation. When asked why he doesn’t charge any money for this teaching. It’s a good thing that there is no charge for this teaching. I had the opportunity to ask him when I could receive Knowledge and he said as soon as the program was over. They would be sold at the market to people saying prayers while throwing the petals into the river. also known as Maharaji. he said. Patrick’s visa in India was about to expire. Actually. ten of us sat quietly as we were introduced to that deepest part of our timeless selves. “How can I charge you for something you already have?” 23 . which took place in a small room in the ashram. Prem Rawat.000 people. In an afternoon session. still a long journey back to his other life. Between my deep prayers and the scenario of how we met. what he imparts has nothing to do with age. Early every morning. He allowed the Western devotees to sit on the stage with him. It’s all about awareness of a feeling that resides inside of the hearts of us all. I knew that this young man was going to be my Teacher. which is exactly the way it happened. but I did feel surrendered to the love that was in the air. I was tenderly being healed from the pain of my own mind. We hugged and then he left. spoke to a crowd of more than 100. His Knowledge is a practical way to attune the heart to the strings of love. I was then given the opportunity to receive initiation. so he had to trek to the western border with Pakistan in order to begin his trip back to England. I knew that everything was perfect. I just felt gratitude for how he had guided me all those weeks. I didn’t understand Hindi. I felt stronger and stronger. My heart was ready to catch the magic of this moment and it did. I walked to the rose garden next to the Ganges River to pick rose petals.You may be wondering how such a young man could be so wise. I knew in that moment in time that what I was truly searching for was really close.
24 . Before leaving India and going back to the West. After school each day I would have a meal of potato stew and chat with the fifteen year old son of the family I stayed with. I couldn’t get extremely creative. I said. I found a village of Tibetan children called Happy Valley. he handed me a small painting of Buddha. Each morning. Coming from a royal Tibetan family. I took a month to travel on my own. usually very tight and held up to my ears. My order of priorities became more one-pointed. I could sense that I was more patient with myself and others. She conveyed throughout great kindness. a refugee school and community formed and directed by Richen Dolma Taring. I hiked up to the local Buddhist monastery to practice Knowledge . Dressed in little white shirts and blue shorts. humor and of course. He was a serious Tonka artist in-training and before I left Happy Valley. Then I would spend part of each day with the children.After the Knowledge session. actually dropped down about an inch. but the experience has never left my mind. more precious and appreciated. I knew that I needed to practice the techniques in order to maintain this feeling and for benefit to be derived. immense faith obviously characteristic of her people and something I certain want to emulate. It wasn’t until I saw the look that the teacher gave to them that I understood there would be no fooling around in this school. My breath became fuller. “Perhaps I could teach some English to the children?” She welcomed my help and found me a place to stay with a local family. She escaped Tibet with the Dali Lama in 1959 during a cruel campaign by the Chinese to eradicate the Tibetan people and their particular spiritual culture of Tibetan Buddhism. I asked Mrs. I felt a very subtle change that gave me a sense of an altered state of knowing and it felt peaceful. I felt like a baby looking at myself and the world with a set of new eyes. which still hangs in my dining room. hardiness. they sat in rows on benches very straight and extremely quiet. who is called The Daughter of Tibet. My shoulders. Mrs. We shared some long conversations in the night. Since that time in India. I shared a room with the grandfather of the family who owned a nearby Chai shop. without distractions of fear which my mind could so easily create. I read her autobiography about her intensely harsh and narrow escape. As I sat in her small office in the spring of 1973 overlooking quaint window views of snowcovered Himalayan peaks far in the distance. I had prepared little drawings and just had them repeat some words which the drawings represented. Taring if I could help in this refugee school in some capacity. Taring was the first Tibetan woman to speak and write English.
Everyone worked. Fortunately. who had just permanently moved to South Florida. I knew that being armed with this Knowledge would be a powerful tool on many levels. I never experienced any worries or fears for my life. That means so much when you are living so close to the edge. Each morning the children came hungry and poorly clothed for the New York winter. In less than a year. peace and beauty of living in India would be ripped away as soon as I embarked on the journey back to the West. I also met with Maharaji devotees who lived in an ashram in Miami. very quickly with those two other women on either side of me. I felt welcomed and inspired by others practicing Knowledge . I still rarely feel worried or fearful. so after our morning meditation and a quick breakfast. It is reminiscent of my time in Happy Valley. This Knowledge would soften the blow. I lived and slept in a room the exact size of three sleeping bags lined up one by one. I reflect on how important it is for Tibetans to one day be able to return to their native land and restore the ancient religion and culture. Just off of Amsterdam Avenue on West 73rd Street. many of whom were junkies would walk me to the subway in the evening when I left the center. fresh orange juice and the ocean. accompanying this book is called White Mountain . we were all out the door. I left New York City for Miami. easing me back to my culture with a new way of seeing and living. I remember feeling extremely protected from any possible danger. I ended up teaching in a daycare center in Spanish Harlem under the worst possible conditions. I immediately found a 25 . My experience with Knowledge put a bubble of protection around me. as soon as I returned to New York. In visiting my parents. I connected with others who also practiced this Knowledge and within a couple of days found a place to live in a setting that would inspire me to stay focused. Their playground would be covered in the broken liquor bottles from the homeless people who lived there. It was amazing that these children never did hurt themselves. They invited me to live there. On the subway rides to work. I lived in a three-level townhouse ashram with six other devotees. The parents of the children in this daycare center. I enjoyed the warm weather. I got very close.One of the songs on the musical CD. I have much more important things to do. The simplicity.
a small southern city in those days called Miama.part-time secretarial job with the Mental Health Association a few blocks away. I couldn’t resist. Miami. 26 . welcomed me with opened arms.
After I did. As we all know in Western Medicine. Conization is used for the definitive diagnosis of squamous or glandular intraepithelial lesions. Combined conization usually refers to a procedure started with a laser and completed with a cold-knife technique. Cervical intraepithelial neoplasia (CIN) is now used to describe what was once called dysplasia. which had come back from the lab marked “Class V: Conclusive for Malignancy. I am grateful to the doctor who found the cancer. for excluding microinvasive carcinomas. I spent the next few days wondering whether I would die. 615.000 women had been castrated. Showing no pain or other symptoms. especially with anything invasive. The extent of excision must be adjusted according to individual needs. After that would be a conization — defined as excision of a cone-shaped or cylindrical wedge from the cervix uteri that includes the transformation zone and all or a portion of the endocervical canal. 27 . But. Techniques for diagnostic and therapeutic conization are virtually identical. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. who said I should come in and have another test taken so they could double-check the results. or ever be able to have children. Albert Schweitzer. and for conservative treatment of cervical intraepithelial neoplasia. I would not have had any idea that I was sick if the cancer had not shown up on my annual Pap test.Chapter Three: The Cancer Diagnosis Every patient carries his or her own doctor inside. two years after my experiences in the Nepal and India and at the age of 29. MD In February 1975. In 2004. First he wanted me to have cryosurgery. or electrosurgical loop. a commonly used in-office procedure for the treatment of a variety of benign and malignant lesions. The latter is called the loop electrosurgical excision procedure or large loop excision of the transformatio n zone. because my test results were so severe. ” I received the news from a concerned receptionist at my gynecologist’s office.000 women were given a Hysterectomy and 400. the doctor said that most likely I would need a hysterectomy. laser. Conization can be performed with a scalpel (cold-knife conization). which unfortunately is a common operation undergone by hundreds of thousands of women each year. such things as laser conization can be excisional or destructiv e by vaporization . The second test brought the same results: it was cervical cancer.
thoughts and ideas. I finally just told the nurse to stop calling me. The whole thing didn’t feel right. The nurse’s insistence fueled for me an entirely different agenda. I’d always been an obedient.” the nurse said during these phone calls. He looked condescendingly at me. young and seemingly healthy.” As he turned his back on me and walked out of his office. “Jill. “Jill.according to the Center for Disease Control. without any eye contact he said. A radical hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus. I wasn’t going to allow him or any other doctor to do anything invasive. law-abiding person. leaving the cervix intact. Probably if the doctor had gently explained everything to me and 28 . I can still see myself standing across from this doctor. and exploring the possible mental and emotional causes of this illness. and the upper part of the vagina. it was a matter of life and death.” I left the gynecologist’s office somewhat shaken. you might die if you ignore what the doctor is telling you. For me. Intuitively I knew that healing could only take place where there was a feeling of gentle nurturing and infusing oneself with healing life force. “Could I give natural methods a try for a month and be retested then?” I asked. my heart beating a mile a minute. and the tubes and ovaries may also be removed at the time of hysterectomy. “If you won’t do what I recommend then don’t bother to come back. That was just the kind of panic I didn’t need to hear. the tissue on both sides of the cervix. I truly felt that my body would tell me what it really required. There I was. A partial hysterectomy is removal of just the upper portion of the uterus. even though according to their understanding. I’d never challenged any authority figure before. listening to my doctor describe something hidden within my own body that had the power to kill me — or at the very least to substantially change me. never having any children. Someone from the office staff still called a few times that week to remind me that the doctor needed to do more tests and they encouraged me to get to the hospital as soon as possible. It became imperative to get beyond those negative concepts. A total hysterectomy is removal of the entire uterus and the cervix. at 29. It’s funny. The uterus may be completely or partially removed. this operation was unthinkable. It made more sense to me to think about strengthening my immune system first through exercise. I refused to be around anyone who manifested fear. We really want you in the hospital this week. No one needs to hear that more than once. right foods. I honestly don’t think we can work with you.
Using natural means to cleanse and rejuvenate this depression in my reproductive system made overall sense to me. who had just returned from a trip to China. along with prayer and love for oneself. Stagnation and a lack of vitality had bred in the cervical area of my body. except when I thought about the results of the tests. Dale about my diagnosis. I just needed some time to heal myself…. I told Dr. and on his advice I telephoned Michio Kushi.D. I also maintain a strong connection with the magical qualities of life. since the imbalance that created it would find new territory to invade and destroy. Certainly the Pap test was telling me something. hoping to boost my immune system and give my body an opportunity to put up a good fight. You would think that it would have made sense to the medical doctors as well. It’s my Leo nature. so I decided not to even think about any of it. Coincidentally. I actually felt perfectly fine. Although I was a lacto-vegetarian. I knew that just treating the symptom (irregular cancerous cells) would not be enough. I asked Mr. I forged on with my plan. I decided that I would use non-invasive strategies to improve my body and mind’s health and vitality. I’m a Rooster by the Chinese Astrological Calendar.then accepted my need to have a couple of months to try my way. which was guiding me each step of the way. I’m very feisty in many ways. I believe in miracles. Roosters wake us up. Was this asking too much? I didn’t think so. a nationally known authority on Macrobiotics and founder of the Kushi Institute in Massachusetts. I have always wanted to take charge. and was curious about Oriental Medicine. 29 .. will do more for healing than anything else. and I also grew up watching I Love Lucy. but not with the methods used to correct the problem. mostly because I continued to feel a greater direction than even the doctor’s. I agreed with the diagnosis. As down to Earth and practical as I am. Even though I was disheartened by his refusal to understand my point of view. So. My confidence was building. had dabbled in Hatha Yoga. I started there. I would have been more open to hearing what he had to say. Kushi what I could do to heal myself of the cancer. Continuing to live my life swimming upstream. time without fear and time to rest. I was taking a six-week course entitled The Theory of Oriental Medicine with Ralph Alan Dale. My Teacher says that the greatest miracle is the breath. Ph. during this time. Determination and focused intent. I found no naturopathic resources available in Miami in 1975.
the rice became a liquid. Whether you consider yourself to be healthy. Macrobiotics is a way of life. and miso soup. beans. I prayed and taught myself to think of the food as my medicine. you can begin to move in the direction of health. M. we are in balance and can live our lives fully. These peoples didn’t have to analyze everything they were doing. health and disease are not considered to be static entities. they used their intuition to guide their lives. In this day and age. we have lost this intuitiveness and have come to rely on others to dictate our lives. green vegetables. They 30 . I remember the little apartment. and we can either move in the direction towards health. Macrobiotics can guide us to make better choices in our food. the sleeping bag on the floor and the rice bowl in my lap. How Can Macrobiotics Help Me? In Western medicine. seaweeds. activity and lifestyle. About a month later. These signs and symptoms should not be viewed as enemies invading our bodies. This will lead to better physical. The macrobiotic way of eating and living has been naturally practiced by traditional societies around the globe for millennia. In addition. I steamed the vegetables or sautéed them in small amounts of cold-pressed oil. By applying this understanding to our own lives. When we live in alignment with nature and our environment. He said that my blood would become purified on this diet. I eliminated all spices and flavorings except for tamari (soy sauce). mental. Kushi suggested I immediately start on an extreme diet that required me to eat nothing but cooked brown rice for ten days. When we are out of balance. Now that’s a prescription I can live with. Each is a direction. macrobiotics can help heal our societal and environmental ills. eating habits. arising from within. the definition of health is the apparent absence of symptoms and disease. If we ignore them. or have a degenerative or even lifethreatening illness. there is a positive image of what it means to be a vibrant healthy person. Chewed many times in a relaxed and meditative atmosphere. seeds. Macrobiotics seeks to teach us to recover this intuition so that we may rely on ourselves to maintain our health and overall well-being day by day.Mr. our bodies gently alert us with symptoms. or in the direction towards illness. at each meal. Also.D. Rather. I visualized this predigested rice bringing life giving and healing energy to my body and mind. It allows us to understand everything in the universe according to laws of change and harmony. In macrobiotics. What is Macrobiotics? By Stacy Adkins. I gradually added sweet potatoes. we can more fully align with nature to achieve harmony and balance. More important than anything. After ten days. eventually a disease state evolves. which need to be suppressed or eradicated. I added a small amount of fruit to my meals. they are part of us. emotional and spiritual health.
the movement of chi may become sluggish or overenergized. I had been very trustful all of my life. I just believed him. Oriental Medicine automatically attunes the flow of energy. I learned that in 31 . but he was not licensed to practice medicine here. and the long history of success for common. they would also perform surgery. it became clear that the doctors in China would always begin with the gentler and less invasive modalities of Acupuncture. Marquand would serve me herbal tea and a hard little ball of herbs — about a half-inch in diameter — which I would chew and swallow. If one or more of these pathways becomes blocked. The energy flowing along these pathways travels throughout the body in a prescribed manner. passing through all the organ and gland systems. In my introduction to Oriental Medicine. No. This was one of them. According to the theory behind Acupuncture. When he saw that I was worried. In Western medicine there is not this kind of trust and certainly no patience to allow the body to heal itself given accurate nurturing opportunities. healthy state. 1 Dr. Dr. “Worry no good. After my treatments. I never asked him what the herbs were though I’ve since learned that Chinese medicine uses many different plants and even animal substances to treat illnesses. Marquand. but with situations that appeared safe and right. the body is made up of 14 meridians.are there to urge us to make the proper adjustments in our diet and lifestyle so that we may bring ourselves back into a balanced. but in serious cases that were not progressing in a positive manner. Dr. nonemergency ailments. not just from a superficial level. was also a medical doctor in China. but one that reaches the source(s) of the imbalance. resulting in illness. There is an inherent trust in the workings of the body and its desire to become healthy again. Marquand. not with everyone. Dale also referred me to Dr. Felix Marquand. I fix.” Without knowing why. of electrical energy called chi or qi. diet and herbs. Dr. but I trusted his eyes. No problem. whom I would visit twice a week for the next month. The herbs were part of my medicine and he was the doctor. Once a slight weakness is found within a certain meridian that corresponds to any organ system. would say. in his broken English. probably about 65 at the time. it didn’t taste very good. He was a local acupuncturist and herbalist. and the body realigns itself. his confident demeanor. or pathways. Their ancient history of using Acupuncture and herbs gave them the confidence that these harmonically balanced procedures would have the effect of healing the person.
Most of the medicines are used to suppress the symptoms. Most of my experiences with Acupuncture have been totally painless — although I have felt a slight twinge at times. Juice Fasting. 32 . I have come to the conclusion that Western medicine is the best for emergencies. I gained a tremendous confidence in Dr. I referred many people to him as well.000-year-old medicine. Guided Imagery. pollution. and improving the general condition of the body. Yoga. but for chronic problems. Although Asian people also become ill with many kinds of diseases. copying the fast food eaten in the West and general stress that causes these sicknesses. mostly because he had great confidence in himself and this 6. reducing pain and swelling. I must say that I didn’t have this kind of confidence in the Western approach to medicine. For most other medical problems – give me Acupuncture. instead of getting to the root cause of the imbalance. Their training causes these doctors to be very sensitive without using any external equipment. Marquand. Naturopathy. not heal them. ears. Can you imagine this standard being applied to the Western medical model? The specific placement of very thin needles along these unseen channels unlocks and alters the flow. eyes. Colon Cleansing. Of course.00 per visit and straightened up his office for the discounted rate. it actually doesn’t severely hurt. take me straight to the hospital. bringing equilibrium. Just using their hands. since it treats the manifestation of symptoms. and serious brain surgeries. I had approximately eight treatments during that month. I paid him $5. What makes Oriental Medicine so helpful is that the treatment can diagnose and therefore prevent diseases long before the organ or glandular system becomes so toxic that it can be diagnosed by Western standards.traditional Chinese Medical practice the doctor only gets paid when he keeps his patients well. which at the time I met him. Meditation. In an emergency. Prayer. which correspond to the inner workings of each organ system. it is city living. In comparing these approaches. mostly. he had practiced for the past forty years. its approach does not get to the source or give enough attention to ways to prevent disease. the acupuncturist is able to sense six pulses in each wrist. Raw and Living Food Programs. This is what really impressed me most and still does. Energy Healing and Metaphysical Affirmation s. orthopedics.
Yoga means union of the mind. Cayce used to go into a trance. however. keeping to my meditation practice. body and spirit. and folding his hands over his stomach. kidney. but they also noticed that they could sit more comfortably and longer in meditation. and pelvic disorders. Ancient people of India meticulously observed the movements of animals and nature and then developed a scientific discipline of physical. His prescriptions were later crossreferenced and compiled into books so that people like me could use them to heal themselves. not just a physical workout. congestion. If you do twenty minutes of basic Yoga each day of your life with gratitude and caring. had used this method to treat cervical as well as other cancers. There should be no struggle. in the most classical sense. Not only did they see improvement in their physical condition. Yoga. mental and spiritual exercise based on many of the same type of positions. Yoga is a way of life. I had read that Edgar Cayce. Listen more to your own body than to anyone else. From this state he could respond to questions as diverse as. I feel better than when I am not. “What are the secrets of the universe?” to “How can I remove a wart?” His responses to these questions came to be called readings and contain insights so valuable that even to this day individuals have found practical help for everything from maintaining a wellbalanced diet and improving human relationships to overcoming life-threatening illnesses and experiencing a closer walk with God. This state of relaxation and meditation enabled him to place his mind in contact with all time and space. you will benefit. which moves you through this world 33 . I know that when I am doing a Yoga practice at least every other day. Yoga is a dance. Edgar Cayce endorsed abdominal castor oil packs as a home remedy for all types of problems involving lymph flow. holding the position as breath filled and emptied the body. eating life-giving living and raw foods. even the yoga instructor. For forty-three years of his adult life. closing his eyes. such as: inflammation. There are never enough hours in the day to give this kind of caring to oneself. you have no choice. The same goes for drinking fresh juices. sleeping peacefully and living a physically active life. must be simple and meditative. if you become faced with a unique situation. the legendary clairvoyant and psychic healer.I also placed heated castor oil packs (see Resources) on my abdomen for about forty minutes a day. constipation and liver. from where he could determine specific treatments for each patient. Edgar Cayce demonstrated the uncanny ability to put himself into some kind of self-induced sleep state by lying down on a couch.
it’s still not normal. Excessive marketing through the media has put a monetary value on something that has been taught for thousands of years for no compensation. This time. along with being more conscious about their diet. However.with graceful animation. and open sources of emotional trauma for release. He wanted to perform cryosurgery. To augment the balancing and dietary aspects of Macrobiotics and Oriental Medicine. Much yoga teacher training today is quickly taught to people who have not incorporated Yoga into the larger picture of a truly Yogic Lifestyle. which meant freezing my cervix to slow the growth of the abnormal cells. after my pleading for more time to use a natural process of detoxification. I was convinced my cancer was in remission and that I was on the right path. the results were better. They seemed to be more in touch with themselves. 34 . Usually they practiced Yoga and Tai Chi. One month after the initial diagnosis of malignant cervical cancer. keeping the focus on taking excellent care of this human body. move fluids. thus beginning an even deeper process of healing. only showing some pre-cancerous lesions on my cervix. The trend to study Yoga has become quite fashionable – which in some ways gets the message out there – but with mixed and confusing concepts of its true healing value. but the time needed consciousness attached to it. I knew that time was now on my side. I had always been attracted to people who knew this art.” That was enough of an encouraging sign for me. This doctor was not much happier with my decision to forgo standard treatment than the first had been. He said. I found another gynecologist to test me. the temple of God. “Jill. he finally agreed just to give me a Pap test. I learned about therapeutic massage or bodywork. I knew that the healing touch of a caring person could calm the nerves. relax the muscles. but remarkably improved.
beyond the facades and roles 35 . Harmony and attunement to the laws of life. gratitude and understanding of how to enjoy my life more and more. I also was reminded that through the practice of this Knowledge I could experience an unyielding strength. This Knowledge did not heal my cancer. then it will be. we knew that we could stay with her during the program with our teacher. We sang. proved once again to be transformative and full of inspiration and exhilaration. and I booked our flight and prepared for our journey. If you think that something is going to be hard. Love is the guide. the healer and the destination. Venezuela. O. a Caribbean island near Venezuela. an infusion of unconditional love. Please let me make this very clear. the laws of nature and the feeling of oneness within. I didn’t want to think about anything that would take my attention from the love within and the steps I needed to take to be with that love. He speaks English. I couldn’t have found a better person. Since Mark’s mother lived in Caracas. He helped me to get through this difficult period of my life. but also to stay on in South America to travel and to rest. are the only attainments truly important in this life. Without any hesitation. we danced. Mark Bonaparte. and Yiddish. I’m not looking to live to be 100. and we made love to the feeling of who we really are. we just need to focus and take the necessary steps to attain our goals. Once again. He is a living example of someone who has perfected this process of getting pleasure from each breath and trusting the beauty of following the feeling of the heart. Like anything in our lives. when we desire to accomplish something of great importance. I heard that my Teacher would be speaking at a weekend event in Caracas. I planned not only to attend this event in Caracas. I’m living now and enjoying each day with greater awareness. Carl Simonton Sometime in May of 1975.Chapter Four: South American Journey Healing is simply attempting to do more of those things that bring joy and fewer of those things that bring pain. making this whole journey more financially feasible. The weekend with Maharaji. while he was also dealing with his own health issues. Prem Rawat’s inspirational example pointed me deeper and deeper inward to that inner realm filled with utmost clarity. My boyfriend. Dutch. Mark grew up in Curacao. Spanish. As a traveling and healing companion. Seeing and hearing him in person was what I really longed for. but it did give me the clarity and the courage I needed to pursue what I knew to be true. His presence in my life had turned from crucial to critical.
journeyed with me by public bus to Guatopo National Forest. we found that guava and yucca grew close by. I plan and hope to live to a ripe old age. Luckily. while one of my closest friends. while we explored. who had been born a hemophiliac and died from a fall. Cuzco. Unless the planet goes first. “Did you hear that?” Still in sleep fog. It was as if time just stood still. located a couple of hours southwest of Caracas. Rhea startled me awake. There was an innocuous guard who would come to check on us from time to time. Meditation came easily. Rhea was healing from the tragic and very recent death of her four-year-old son. it was impossible for me to truly understand her experience. I tried to be present. While Cuzco was in the hospital before and after surgery. but thankfully. She had stayed in my apartment after her son’s accident. giving us the divine food sustaining us in the moment firstly within ourselves and then with this special person. let alone a major concussion. It was a long night. we found a forest ranger to drive us deep within the jungle to an old abandoned coffee plantation where we could camp for a week. 36 . rested. I said. Mostly. conscious and as caring as possible. You never saw two women move so quickly to take shelter in the closest shed. prepared simple food and listened curiously to sounds of the jungle. The profoundly simple and undemanding days rolled by. She always knew that even the slightest scrape could be life-threatening. we slept outdoors using a mosquito net under the clear jungle skies. Rhea Melrose. but at the time we were very frightened. We had been warned that there were jaguars and to be very alert to those sounds. I felt as if nature was cupping us in the palm of its hands. After the weekend. Not being a mother at the time. It had become a time to breathe and absorb the bio-energetic life force around us for the purpose of healing. I knew then that my so-called disease would go its way in its own time. Mark stayed on with his mom. Now we can laugh at the telling of the story of el tigre. “Hear what?” She said that it sounded like a big cat. We had not brought much fresh food with us. we spent our nights and even days just meditating together and praying. Rhea’s greatest fear had come true although she tried very hard to keep her son from danger. One evening.that we play. while he was undergoing surgery. He died within a few days of the fall.
The joints are so tight that even the thinnest of knife blades cannot be forced between the stones. we just rested and prayed for ourselves and others. we were getting ready to really travel. and was teaching English in California. back to the states. One of the marvels of the city is the architectural precision with which its structures were designed and built. The feeling of that mystical energy from this and other regions of Peru kept me focused on the magic that I was feeling from within myself. baths. Walking through ancient ruins. This precision 37 . The blocks fit together perfectly without traces of mortar. an ancient city south of Lima. cut with bronze or stone tools and smoothed with sand. The jewel of our trip was visiting Machu Picchu. adopted two young sisters from Mexico. an important city of the Inca culture. Etched in the surface of the desert pampa sand about 300 hundred figures made of straight lines. geometric shapes most clearly visible from the air. temples. They were supposedly built by an ancient civilization called the Nazca. At this point. From Nazca. Our guide on one of the days in Cuzco was a child. were used by the Incas as a secret ceremonial city. By this time my strength was resurfacing slowly. Our first stop was Nazca. we just wanted to take in as much as possible without distraction. Peru with Mark. soaking in mineral hot springs and sleeping in primitive dwellings. with their palaces. Feeling the intricate interrelationships of the elements of life on Earth. Most of the buildings are of solid granite blocks. we continued hitching until we were able to get on a train to Cuzco. which is famous for mysterious lines created from stones. Rhea continued on alone. and taking buses and trains. I ran into Rhea a few years ago and found out that she had married.At this point. Nature spoke to both of us about life and about death with every breath that we consciously took. who spoke English quite well and dazzled us with his knowledge of the history of his people. a 15th-century Inca stone city. who now were in high school keeping her busy as a soccer mom. which cover nearly 400 square miles of desert. invisible from below and accessible only by bus from Aguas Calientes. I began to feel more and more alive. Archaeologists believe the cloud-shrouded Machu Picchu ruins. Life does go on. no more than 12. mostly hitchhiking. although none of the blocks are the same size and have multiple faces. perched atop a rocky ridge high in the Andes Mountains. storage rooms and some 150 houses. doesn’t it? I traveled on to Lima. After this jungle journey.
often absent in the typical American diet. As with each moment of our lives. Nor do the Andean leaf-chewers appear to become addicted. By witnessing these amazing structures. raw nuts and seeds. Mark and I decided to do a bit more serious hiking. sea vegetables and fruit. I maintained a simple organic vegetarian macrobiotic diet. were easily absorbed from these sea vegetable foods. Important trace minerals. The coca shrub has been cultivated since time immemorial. encouraged me to follow their example in any way I could. legumes (beans). One day. we are already 8. my eyes fixated even more on the people than the ancient structures. I can almost smell those cobblestone streets and thin mountain air as I recall and record my fantastic journey 31 years ago. are the descendants of the original Inca people. called Quechuan. The native people. to the continuing amazement of visitors. Seaweed provides all 56 minerals and trace elements required for the body’s physiological functions in quantities greatly exceeding those of land plants.000 or more feet up and the air was very thin. so close to the earth. I even remember chewing on some coca leaves. on moving down to ordinary altitudes. 38 . Now remember. All along my journey. many of them give up their coca without apparent hardship. I needed perhaps to see a bigger picture through the history of man in order to become more humble and accrue the confidence I needed to be patient with my own life and its processes. and they were delicious as well. and as they continue to chew them today. it’s easy to realize that life is not just one dimensional and the healing that was happening in my life was taking shape on many levels. To see the manner in which they live. as no doubt they had chewed them before the days of the Incas. Throughout this unique trip. I knew that I needed to maintain the highest level of nutrition in order to retain my energy. I chewed on ginseng root during that entire day.impressed and inspired me. Far from suffering disaster. natives chew coca leaves. I was witnessing my own transformation by reshaping my appreciation. fresh vegetables. they have managed through the centuries to survive the rigors of an incredibly harsh mountain environment. which consisted of whole grains. beginning to call forth a profound sense of gratitude and creating a template that would form the basis of how I would live from that moment on.
Venezuela. I soaked in a hot mineral mud bath with him. We most definitely enjoyed our time with Victor’s family. It could have been the mud and the heat that drew poisons out of my body. remains well known for his combination of practical wisdom and spiritual insight. The Reverend Sri Swami Satchidananda. By the next day the fever had broken and the rash subsided. who treated Winston Churchill and many others using herbs and foot baths. staying in their beautiful large home and enjoying the typical Peruvian lifestyle and lush surroundings. one of the most respected Yoga Masters of our time. It could have been my body’s readiness to shed the final toxicity of the disease. introduced us to his family in Arequipa surrounded by volcanoes with a climate of eternal spring. and houses of worship around the globe. medical groups. Mark and I also visited and stayed with some other devotees of our Teacher. giggling and playing like children. By later that evening I broke out a high fever and a vile rash all over my body. His message of peace. This had been a serious healing crisis. In the beginning of Swami’s tour in Valencia. We said our goodbyes and returned to our accommodations with some friends in another town a couple of hours away. the founder of Integral Yoga. toward the end of this healing journey. I had the opportunity to travel with Swami Satchidananda. which can easily occur during any detoxification process. both individual and universal. In Valencia. colleges. but looked more like thirty-five. we then returned to Lima to fly back to Venezuela. Mark and I had been reading about the famous French herbalist Maurice Mességué. he received hundreds of invitations to speak at conferences. Mark placed fresh chopped garlic on the bottom of my feet to draw out the fever and prepared some chamomile tea straight from the garden to soak my feet in. whom we had met in Lima. The next day. He was sixty-five. A very dedicated teacher. and a much-loved teacher. The circumstances presented an opportunity to allow the body to finally heal without the use of 39 . Victor Tallevera. I was amazed at how youthful he appeared at the time.While in Peru. Our journey was now approaching its final chapter. My health appeared good considering that the rugged traveling was a bit taxing. still resonates worldwide. Continuing on to a few other Peruvian cities. one evening I performed on my guitar and sang a devotional Hindu song.
actually threw me out of his office while screaming at me. met my son. I didn’t want other people’s fears to blind me from going in the direction which made the most common sense to me. I felt incredible.inhibitors. The smartest thing that I did during this time was not to tell too many people. Anxious to know the score. Sad to say. “What cancer?” I had forgotten that I never told her about way back then. We are friends and still have contact to this day. the man who delivered my son. I am so grateful for his support during that difficult time in my life. I was most definitely thrilled and relieved at the same time. I don’t think I could have had a better friend to see me through that challenge. mentioning that he had just lost a patient to cervical cancer who was 28. showed any interest in my story. many times with different doctors. You don’t need a cheering section. this doctor did not show any interest in how my body could change. After a few days. One doctor. I have had check ups. FL. 40 . Those memories are still vivid in my mind as well as his. He found that the Pap test results were completely normal. I few years ago. just one good friend. I made an appointment with the second gynecologist. such as drugs. 15 years later. and how dare I tell him such a thing. and only one doctor. especially family. Mark and I went our separate ways shortly after our adventure in South America. Aaron. Since that time. when I mentioned to my mother that I was going to write a book about how I healed myself of cancer. we had completely run out of money and we were ready to return home to Miami. Many years later. while they were doing some networking in Hollywood. she said. And the timing was perfect. Mark. about my cancer.
or not learn and get stuck. juice fasting. Dr. One evening I noticed a young fellow who had just moved to Miami from Buffalo. spiritual and dietary movement that incorporat ed a Macrobiotic lifestyle. Knowledge . and still doesn’t. Certainly. I could now go out and truly live this life to the fullest — without the fear of disease — or even death. I strongly believe that we bring into our lives situations that allow us to both learn and move on. illness is a harsh but crystalline reality. Many of us would meet each evening for an hour to remind each other of the importance of practicing what we had been shown. These teachers were all in agreement that many diseases were the result of the uncleanness of the bowels. I went back to a life that I would create. endocrine and circulatory systems. Our little community of devotees was growing and changing all the time. Mitchell Schneider. colon cleansing and other alternative modalities as well. I would face a lifetime of potential cancers or other dis-eases that could manifest in this fragile human body. Besides enjoying Maharaji and his teachings. I was adhering to an excellent Macrobiotic diet. originally from Brooklyn. I became He didn’t let anything get in the way of his practice of the Mitchell and I began to spend some time together. It seemed that many of my acquaintances were also learning about massage. The teachings were basic and there was no way 41 . very inspired by Mitchell. New York. We were reading books like Back to Eden by Jethro Kloss and other interesting writers such as Professor Arnold Ehret. Perhaps I needed to learn something from having this cancer and once learned. had also been involved with Maharaji for three or four years and seemed to really be enjoying his experience with the Knowledge. maybe I no longer needed the cancer. lessons that would remain with me for life. Before long we moved in together on a boat that he was living on in Fort Lauderdale. to my work in the world and to my grateful involvement with a great awareness and appreciation of the preciousness of this life. an inability to properly eliminate and its spreading the toxicity to other organs. Robert Pollok While pleased with my success. Since I had accomplished so much from this cancer. and Paavo Airola. Norman Walker. by this time and even studying formally with Michio and Aveline Kushi. the founders of this philosophical. we also were very much into health and healing. I also knew that the challenge was certainly not over.Chapter Five: My Miracle Child Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven.
I became pregnant. I felt my child move for the first time while at a Little River Band Concert in Miami. with a great vegetarian feast at a friend’s beautiful home in Miami. get married or not. I sang a love song that I had written for the occasion. carrying the child of a man whom I had technically just met. understandably . questions about whether we would stay together. and learned how to keep my emotions in check and my head screwed on right. found out how to take care of my breasts so that breastfeeding would be as natural as possible. we would have found the safest way to health. My parents got off easy — the entire party for these 100 people cost them $350. 42 . Looking back. but had long been forgotten or ignored. When I was four months pregnant. I ate the best possible vegetarian foods for mothers-tobe. “If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise. Mitchell and I did marry when I was eight months pregnant. the Father of Modern Medicine. But here I was. (I didn’t think about it way back then. We both went barefoot. then twenty-five. I was thirty-two years old and knew that this was the opportunity I had been waiting for all of my life. These teachings were taught by Hippocrates. I was completely elated on most levels. two and a half years after they wanted to give me a hysterectomy . I prepared myself during those precious nine months of my pregnancy.” A short six months into Mitchell’s and my new relationship. Mitchell. just a bit nervous about the unsure feelings about our relationship that were being generated. It was a lovely wedding for a hundred of my friends and relatives. I wore a lovely tiered gauze white cotton dress and Mitchell wore a simple Chinese qi (Tai Chi outfit). most relevant…what it really meant to bring life into this world. didn’t have the same joyful reaction. and. but I evened out a little debt from that Volkswagen Beetle I had lost money on in the Virgin Islands in 1973). He said. He had just come from living a celibate life in an ashram.to argue their validity.00. As my human body became even more important than ever. Mitchell was working in concert production and we attended many concerts during that time. not too little and not too much. Mitchell and I were struggling on many different levels: money. and about our families’ eventual reaction. It still amazes me that medical doctors are not taught anything about nutrition and how to detox the body naturally in their schools. I must admit that we got through the whole thing pretty graciously.
he was my teacher. gave him a tepid bath and then. “Where is Aaron sleeping?” I said.” We had a bedroom. I had been an observer of animals for many years and knew instinctivel y that most new mothers just clean up the young ones. To me. Once. Aaron. As though he was an ancient evolved and realized being. he had his first fever. The next day I asked our landlord what was under that particular area of the bedroom.. looked at. I treated my son with great respect. “Aaron is being disturbed by pipes with continuous running water under the area where he was sleeping. make lots of milk and nurse on demand. when Aaron was nine months old. a medium and a psychic healer. my uterus shattered. “In my bedroom next to my bed. I was rushed to Mercy Hospital in Coconut Grove. Aaron was the brother of Moses. looked down on this creature who was a gift given to me by the Creator and just listened to my own intuitive feelings about how I would raise my son. I immediately called Lou Smith. came out perfect — that was all that mattered. The Jamaican nurse who cared for me in the hospital told me that the particular shape of my son’s head meant he was a very old soul. but because of last minute complications. My landlord Igor said that there are pipes with continuous running water that have to do with the irrigation system for the grove. and I almost died. took a breath. three months. which is where they really shine. The doctor was held up in rush hour traffic for two hours. I kept my distance from Western medical doctors. Lou commented. Since I did not want to give my son any antibiotics. Aaron was also named for my grandfather. closed my eyes. and what to expect your baby to do at one week. Abraham. The house was part of a grove of fruit trees. felt. I loved that name. a Russian man who taught Russian at Miami Beach High School. I ended up with a C-section and it took the doctor an hour and a half to sew me up.” We immediately moved his bed. It’s called Zone Irritation. Igor. They did great with my birthing emergency. for sure. And since in the Jewish religion we use the first letter of someone in our family who has passed to name our children. smelled and completely immersed myself in this baby and his needs. the fever went down. I prepared to birth him at home with a midwife. I gladly put them aside. Thank God my son. etc. What does a good student do when a teacher stands before her or him? I was all ears. After I read some books about only nursing the baby on a prescribed schedule. two weeks. which was basically furnished with two futons on the floor. I listened. 43 . stood before me with his thick gray hair standing on end and his face turning white after hearing the story about the psychic’s diagnosis. did some color energy healing on him.Aaron’s birth was eventful. Lou asked me.
I only took him to a doctor once. essential oils and herbs. Gainesville is the home of the University of Florida and had always been surrounded by countryside. After that I forged all the paperwork. I don’t think that Mitchell ever really got over the shock of me getting pregnant just six months after we met. so that he never had up the follow-up immunizations . His first food was my milk and then homemade brown rice cream. we made a commitment to raising our son by living close by each other and sharing in his upbringing. I admit that our marriage was not a solid one. when my son was three.Aaron was raised mostly as a Macrobiotic vegetarian. It was at that time that Bo Diddley. finding people who would let me stay on their land. Thankfully. A custodian in a local school where I was substitute teacher came to my rescue during the summer months. Mitchell and I decided to move to Gainesville. Aaron never had a cavity or ear infection and was never absent from school for illness. Florida. the 1950’s rock n’ roll legend. healthy treats and treating their illness using energy healing. Basically I have been blessed with a healthy kid. I traipsed around the outskirts of Gainesville. we separated and divorced. since I was very careful in how he was raised. when he sprained his ankle at 16. I allowed him to suckle at my breast up until he was four years old. I don’t regret doing that at all. not that I even know exactly what they really means. So. cool springs and rivers. He did have some yearly checkups for school and camp. after four and a half years of being together. since there is much controversy over these immunizations. I was very wary of anything unnatural. If you start with children immediately giving them organic foods. living in a 17-foot travel trailer. I never got used to being with another person so intensely and having to be dependent on him financially for those few years. I only gave him the first set of vaccinations since we were traveling to Colombia. such as the mercury found in them and a possible connection to the high rise in autism. In 1980. when there was no work. then it is very likely that they will grow up being healthy and strong. about six hours northwest of Miami. when he was almost two. I never left him with anyone except my parents or very responsible good friends for short times until he was about three or four. South America. Intuitively. I also take some credit for that. I made my own baby food from vegetables that I had steamed and fruit that I blended. heard about a Jewish girl singing gospel songs in the 44 . food as medicine.
so it’s interesting that here I was in Gainesville. while attending a Blues Festival in Fort Lauderdale. He told me just to watch out for the rattle snakes and within a week had bought me a car at the junkyard for $300. after ten years or so. He appreciated my songs. He was very excited to see Aaron. he pulled my trailer onto his back forty and gave me a job taking care of his entire family. I had idolized this man. both from doing the work and from feeling the energy coming through me. I just graduated college 45 . After a weekend gig. he wanted to make sure that wouldn’t happen to me. Florida in 1983. It was over in a flash. He encouraged me to copyright all of my material. He said. especially my work with children. I mashed on him really good. Bo looked down at this little uncontrollable child and said loud and clear. and to this day. Aaron (age 22) and I got to go backstage and spend some time with him before he went on stage. “Great. working for Bo Diddley. “Jill. He also helped me a great deal with my son. Thank you. In 2000. when Aaron was four. “You don’t talk to your Momma like that!” That was it. where Bo was the headliner. would you mash on my back?” Of course. How excited do you think I was? After Bo and I met and he heard my predicament . Don’t you just love the image of a New York Jewish princess. Some of the songs on the CD at the back of this book were written during this time of my life. Having been ripped off of royalties due to him over the years. Bo. who had been taken care of by an African American woman most of her childhood. I never turned him down. he would fall down at my feet asking. Bo was in his mid 50’s at the time and his broad frame needed the really deep bodywork. “How are you doing. Bo helped me a great deal with my music. Aaron?” Aaron said. Bo overheard my son screaming at me and did not hesitate to help me out. I took the best care that could of his family. thank you. The barefoot work enabled my small frame to become very powerful. eight years after healing myself of cancer. He would call all the little ones together when he saw me sitting out with my guitar. members of the band and all. From Grandma to the great grandkids.Pentecostal church up the road. I have never had my son talk back to me so disrespectfully as that day when he was four. Bo. One day. A mutual friend brought me to meet Bo. now taking care of this very unique family of a world famous entertainer? When I was a young teenager. (Pic of Bo and me in his studio 2004) Bo Diddley was actually one of my first Barefoot Shiatsu clients. the man who created rock n’ roll.
he was ready to conquer the world. although difficult. To this day. where we lived no more than forty minutes from each other. Aaron. When Aaron received his MBA from Florida Atlantic University in 2002. Taylor and all the many good teachers he had over the years in public school. was a lovely African American woman who immediately made him her pet. We both went on in our lives to have other relationships that Aaron was wholly a part of.” (No doubt he was referring to that time when four-year-old Aaron had a hissy fit. As a former public school teacher. Thank you so much Mrs. his life was enriched by these men and women who loved him very much. Fortunately. Aaron went between us until his was seventeen.) Aaron and I left Gainesville after the summer of 1982 to return to South Florida. where I put Aaron into school. I remember his first day of kindergarten at Highland Lakes Elementary School in North Miami Beach. I like the idea of home schooling. his teacher. He was ready. I wasn’t sure about you for a while. “I can’t believe that I’m sitting between Mitchell’s two ex-wives” and “we are all having a great time celebrating my grandson’s graduation!” 46 . “You know. Today’s world is different than it was 25 years ago. and simultaneously moved back to South Florida. If anything.and I’ve got a really good job. I had waited an extra year after the divorce to make sure he was doing well and was a bit older than necessary for starting school. He walked in almost as though he owned the place. With his apparent confidence. he loves us both equally and the divorce.” Bo said. I praise the system when it really serves the children. Mrs. my mother commented after the ceremony. was not the most horrible thing to happen to him. Taylor. My ex-husband Mitchell and I had both stayed in the Gainesville area for a year after the divorce. as long as there are parents willing to work together on it.
having never seen those initials that represent a type of degree of some kind. I try to pace myself in order to not overspend my energy. brilliant and commonsensical humans walking the planet. Edison Many years ago. M. and blessed with my tiny frame. It does. undoubtedly one of the most successful. I have had tendonitis and back problems on occasion throughout my career of 24 years. demonstrating traditional Barefoot Shiatsu Massage. It said her name and then the letters. Thomas A. she replied. My clients for many years were mostly little older Jewish women who would comment on my “goldena hanz. My formal bodywork training began in 1981. Then. 47 .S.” I felt grateful to be doing something that I loved and getting paid for it. I loved massage school. I was a featured presenter at the Morikami Japanese Museum in Delray Beach. I can really do the deep work. I also attended and graduated Educating Hands School of Massage. I thought that I was crazy. “You can never be too thin or too rich”…and I added … “or get too many massages. Massage is a very physically demanding profession. I used to quote Coco Chanel’s saying. as his massage therapist while he was filming “The Birdcage”. “Making stuff up. I looked and thought about it. We should all take lessons from Robin.Chapter 6: Making Stuff Up Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. keep me in good shape. He takes each moment of life so seriously that millions of ideas cross his path in a split second. after returning to South Florida. ” I laughed my head off and I took it to heart.” I continue to do the massage therapy component of my juice fasting program along with private local clients in the area where I live. This type of massage is done with the whole body. I’m small and well-balanced from doing Yoga. where I continued to learn more about the science of massage. a woman handed me her business card. however. Ralph Ashodian. especially because we would give and get a massage almost every day. or at least had ADHD for many years. “What does MSU mean I said to her”. when I studied an authentic form of Japanese Barefoot Shiatsu with my friend and neighbor.U. In 2003. until I actually got to meet and spend time with Robin Williams. a well-known martial artist in Northern Florida.
” At this point. I realized that the deep divisions and negative changes in our culture began to happen when children lost their relationships with their grandparents. to witness a small child with a smiling face is truly a blessing. On the weekends I would take Aaron with me to help me pass out little instruments and wheel people in their wheelchairs down to the activity room. A neighborhood newspaper ran a story about us. basically anyone who wanted to bring the children and elderly together. I chose songs from the 1930’s and 40’s — especially love songs — which I knew everyone loved and would sing along with me. He loved to come with me. I am going to open up this mat and my client will lay down on it. carrying my mat and an orthopedi c walker. distance or other reasons. “Then. community centers. And all of this activity was inspired by Chair Yoga and Music Programs and a little boy who wasn’t old enough to go to school yet. 48 . activity directors in nursing homes. students. confidence and credibility in my work. Both groups have been harmed by this shift in societal and cultural movement. At least twice or three times per week I also played and sang with my guitar in nursing homes. and nursing homes. A little old Jewish man looked at me and stopped. For elderly people living in such an unbalanced environment of seeing only other elderly sick persons. He said. which landed on the right desk at the local state university. My goal was to connect the young with the old and the old with the young by creating social programs in schools. as the Director of Intergenerational Programming. giving me more knowledge.A few years ago. reflecting his growing interest in what I was telling him.” The biggest smile came across his face as he said. which I still use to balance myself. Mostly it seemed that children had lost an ally through the grandparent/child relationship and grandparents lost their role as elders. The attention brought me into the university world of the Southeast Florida Center on Aging. “Vat are you going to do? Hit somebody vid that?” (Pointing to the walker). either through divorce. mostly because he got so much kind and loving attention. “Vud you believe how you can make a living these days?” I eventually graduated from the Educating Hands School of Massage I became licensed in massage in Florida in 1987. “Actually. I was walking up the steps of a clinic where I was working. I began to see a common thread running through both sectors of our society. when the treatment is completed. I was in charge of developing training sessions for teachers. I continued. my client will pay me for the work. and volunteers. his eyes were huge. Then I will balance myself with this walker and step on my client for about an hour. I said.
I had done some substitute teaching over the years. they begin to sing. “The Mother Earth Blues” came out of a performance with an 8th grade science class. the Cosmic Cowgirl. but didn’t want to teach full time. I created a character. They were upbeat and ranged from toe tapping to soul searching sounds. was created out of my need to continue to work with children. When performing in the schools in front of any audience of about 300 children. wrote me a recommendation saying: “We have been blessed this year with the performances of Jill Schneider. Since the guitar. I knew I needed to get back to working with kids. I am probably in many home videos. Program Director of the Heartland Health Care Center in Boynton Beach. while “The Garbage Song” is catchy and has a great beat. guitar and embroidered vest still hang close to my heart. Annie Sunbeam. We hope that Jill will continue her work as she is gifted and blessed with talent and the ability to relate to the elderly population in a very special way. I have seen Alzheimer’s residents who do not talk. Her choice of songs was wonderful. I recorded many demos of my original songs about the Earth. Nancy Weis. Jill’s wonderful voice along with her compassionate personality won the hearts of all the residents that were privileged to be in the room when she entertained. Within a few months. Most children are really concerned about the environment. The health of this planet is a complete reflection of our own health. My most special moments were my shows for those with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. when put in a musical program such as Jill’s. Music seems to be the only media that truly affects them. don’t we ever realize that we are possibly going extinct as well? 49 . dancing and teaching the children how to play along with me. but it was very hard and not very fulfilling. Alzheimer’s is a disease that robs people of so many skills. singing. I had become the singing cowgirl for party entertainment. songs and my love for young children was a given.Although funding ran out after a couple of years in the intergenerational field. becoming my back-up band. As we watch and hear about the extinction of so many creatures. I continued working in nursing homes as a musician. I couldn’t help but create a dance to go with it. The purple cowgirl hat. Always piecing together a living that meant something to me. a theme and did some marketing to get myself known in the community. I enjoyed the smiles on their face when they saw that I could fulfill my promise. Florida. I promised the teachers that I would have the children all in their seats after the dance. Her singing and guitar playing was not only entertaining but therapeutic to our residents.
taking people on hikes in the Sierra Madre Mountains. I must admit that being flexible has always worked magic in my life. 50 . I didn’t know what a real job was. Aaron was living with his Dad and just starting community college. Soon enough. a year later in 1998. an article documented that goal. was attending Barry University in Miami. he became more so. “Can’t you get a real job?” I had been a teacher. musician and healer for many years. I published a similar article in Ariel Ford’s More Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul. after community college. I moved to Delray Beach. but when I tried to promote parties in Austin. At one point he said. doing massage therapy. Texas. It was a great feeling of accomplishment. no one was interested in a singing cowgirl. In 1995. as an Activity Director at the Rio Caliente Spa and Ranch — teaching Yoga. where my elderly parents had been living for many years. he managed to get himself a full academic scholarship and a job at the university to pay for housing and food. and the Texas Hill Country. I quickly let my long hair down. I spent two years writing. When I first arrived in Texas. While I was in Texas. I stayed with my folks for a few weeks. since the movie had just come out. I assumed that Annie Sunbeam parties and school concerts would be a way that I could make some money. I wonder why? Using my nippy survival skills and ingenuity. He has always been very independent and since I had left Florida for that two year period. Back in South Florida. In 1997. I fell in love with hot springs and their healing benefits. Aaron. hiking in the hills. since I had gone to Texas to write and now on the return. I met some very interesting women from Texas during my many years at Rio Caliente. just as I was leaving Texas to come back to South Florida. my son. I left South Florida for Austin. while in transition and getting settled. riding horses and playing my guitar.Aren’t all these chronic diseases that have ballooned out of control over the past fifty years an indication of that extinction? From 1991 to 1996. sewed up a doe-skinned outfit and became Pocahontas. I worked in Mexico for six weeks each year. doing water aerobics and performing my Barefoot Shiatsu bodywork. My Dad saw me struggling to get my massage and music business off the ground. I published an article entitled “Facing Cancer on My Own” in Natural Health Magazine.
You can’t move around much when you just have a few inches on either side of you and more than that between the table and the cold tile floor. So. not wanting to live too high. Instead of buying a bed. there are no guarantees. I found myself a little one-room rear cottage next to a lovely pool and just about a mile from the ocean.In the massage/music/yoga/freelance business. 51 . I used that room as an office as well. I slept (carefully) on my massage table for the next year and a half.
Raw Food Educator and Juice Fasting Coach. My clients come from all over the world. weakness and even nausea can be part of the process. Headaches. I was not wrong in this thinking. In 2000. I have been given much more than I ever could have imagined . As I look back over the past 30 years of my life. tea and broth to drink. In my own way. down-to-Earth suggestions on creating a balance between the mind. Yoga Teacher. I created my own company called Circle of Life Holistic Programs. this diagnosis changed my life and that is why I thanked God. My well-attended personal and group retreats attest to that. I offer 6-day immersion juice fasts. I am very attentive and want my clients to feel really secure with their fast.Chapter Seven: Being Grateful for Cancer A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings. Hippocrates.460-377 B. a dentist from Detroit. Mexico. my client is just settling in. Usually the first day. “Jill is the roommate who won’t leave. I live my life with gratitude for this opportunity of having a human body.C. which led to the gifts of unimaginable strength and clarity. So. body and spirit. Deep within myself. and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses. in San Diego at Casa de Mirabeau. Florida. Combining my skills as a Licensed Massage Therapist. One of my clients. In less than a month from the time of my cancer diagnosis in 1975. I actually considered thanking God for this cancer. taking a walk by the ocean and accepting a long massage. it’s nice to know that someone who has experience with overseeing clients who are fasting is there to make you feel more comfortable and safe in the process. c. They stay at a lovely hotel apartment close to the ocean in Delray Beach. Thanking God for cancer? I know that can be very insulting to those of you who have lost loved ones to this dreaded disease. or they fly me to their favorite retreat locations. It’s true though.” Of course he told me this and made me really laugh. I share my experience with others attempting to give some insight. 52 . described me to his wife. I just knew that everything was and would be perfect and that this experience was going to teach me a significant lesson for my whole life. getting unlimited fresh juice. perspective and mostly some very practical . It’s a process of unwinding. I followed the deepest part of myself. in a hot spring resort near Guadalajara. I designed a one-on-one personal health detoxification program. but for me.
They own homes. My clients are well-respected professionals mostly in their 30’s. etc. Emotionally and spiritually. From 12 hour work days to mothering. have good jobs. have raised healthy and intelligent kids and are living the American dream. even through some natural detoxification discomforts. your body and your mind go through some interesting changes. Being hungry is primal and will bring up fears. Just to know that we will talk each day at a certain time gives the individual a secure nurturing feeling that they can do it. also comes the fast of the mind. What I have noticed is that one needs rest. even for just a few days. fathering and taking care of elderly parents…our lives are not our own. Once we quiet down the mind (or at least ignore it). does help one gain new perspectives and philosophies relevant to shifting into a better way of living in harmony and balance. whether it is from divorce. quiet and reflection time to look over the past.The process covers many aspects. Slowing down. working with people who just want the support and encouragement as they go through a juice fast in their own home. Many have retreated with me during certain transitions in their life. stay present in the moment and feel intuitively what one needs to prepare to pursue in the future. dehydrated and malnourished. So. or kids still in the nest. while immersing oneself in nature. walking by the sea. aromatherapy baths and colon hydrotherapy. 40’s and 50’s. they come to me exhausted. And yet. As you fast. My phone consultation work has been an interesting addition to my program. I focus on those physical aspects first through massage and deep relaxation. People are running on empty in so many different aspects of their lives. From fasting on a physical level. So what can we do to function at a level which will enable us to get it all done without falling apart? These are some of the issues that my clients want to work on while they are resting and rehabilitating. 53 . What I have learned about restoring health is very basic. we will discover on our own what we really want and need to be content. fasting will raise issues that you haven’t thought about in many years. kids leaving the nest. When you are not thinking about the mundane existence of each day. Fasting is not as difficult as you think. fresh organic juices and other nutritional liquids. you become freed up to explore and to answer some deeper questions about existence. leaving a job and thinking about going into a new profession. it’s always a good idea to work with these feelings as they arise.
all that good healthful stuff not only goes to waste. support and time. nuts. fruits. 54 . I have been greatly impressed with the ability of the body to alter and adjust itself into greater balance and harmony. ocean swims. juice. a bastion of fear. It’s very personal work. I have created a comfortable retreat on the ocean. herbs for cleansing and detoxification. water exercise. Remember that you can eat the best home-grown. and juices. get treatments. and nothing less. but if you still have an inkling of anger. during which people from all over the world come to rest. rest. doing the massage. massage. I still thank God for all the imbalances I have encountered in my life and for all I have learned from them. nothing more. reflect and allow their bodies. or a box-load of resentment. It’s always an amazing transformation that I witness and hopefully one that will stay with these people forever. I treated my cancer just as an imbalance. I believe thoroughly in the power of love and in the inherent ability of the human body to heal itself when given the best nourishment.with each individual who comes to stay. mostly because of the fear that they have of this disease. I have witnessed personally the amazing results of healing. grains. rest and meditation . I spend 8 hours per day preparing the delicious juices. seeds. I knew that I had to act immediately to correct this imbalance and did so using natural means. one that brings out the best and sometimes the worst in all of us.Over the years. colonic irrigation. mud packs. and even chew them a hundred times until they become liquid in your mouth. counseling. castor oil packs and whatever . teaching yoga. I have fasted every year for past 25 years. organic vegetables. Along with enemas. During those juice fasts and even a couple of water fasts. minds and spirits the opportunity to realign and rejuvenate. Thanking God for the cancer might sound really strange to people. but could also turn into a poison that would kill you. sand scrubs.
Women’s Wisdom. As a practicing physician for over 20 years. That has never changed. It’s only about unconditional love. I went back for a sonogram. A lemon to a thumbnail. In her book Women’s Bodies. Aaron is and always will be the light of my life. How many avenues from the center of town do we have to travel away from? Over the years. and still not getting it right. He finally arrived by C-section on November 17. Western Medicine serves as a helpful diagnosis. It was a healthy pregnancy. as well as the powerful role of the human spirit in creating health. Northrup is a leading proponent of medicine and healing that acknowledges the unity of the mind and body.Chapter Eight: Keeping My Hysteria The number of hysterectomies won’t change significantly until women change their beliefs about their pelvic organs. By deciding not to follow the advice of Allopathic Medicine to have a hysterectomy in 1975. 1977. I accepted the perfection of the moment. Job done. The juice fast went well. When he smiled or just looked into my eyes. empowering approach to women’s health and wellness. the size of a large lemon. not to the ever-changing parenting theories wreaking havoc on each generation. when I was 46. she asks women to ponder the following questions: 55 .D. In 1991. in my uterus. Without making a big deal about it.D. I listened to him. Although I used Eastern Medicine to heal the cancer. obstetrician/ gynecologist is internationally known for her visionary. which I was told would have been the solution to my cancer problem. but a long and difficult labor. Christiane Northrup. M. Over the years. M. I protected him from the theoretical world as much as I could. the doctor found a fibroid tumor. I just went shopping for a carload of fresh vegetables and immediately began a two-week fruit and vegetable juice fast. I was informed that the only thing they could see was about the size of my thumbnail. I would go for occasional check-ups with a gynecologist to make sure that everything was in working order. As Aaron grew from an infant into his childhood. Lots of toxins left my body. Christiane Northrup. Dr. I was able to get pregnant and give birth to my son two and a half years later. After those daily enemas and a couple of high colonic irrigation treatments. I created an environment that enabled him to still stay connected to the inner world he had come from.
according to the U. seem to play a role in hormonal regulation. the uterus does.” 2 What is a Hysterectomy? Hysterectomy — a surgical procedure to remove a woman’s uterus — is major surgery. MD.” Dr. when 724. More than one in four American women will have a hysterectomy by the time they are 60 years old. Although the hysterectomy rate appears to have gone down since 1985. after caesarian section. The number of hysterectomies won’t change significantly until women change their beliefs about their pelvic organs. 1994 56 . Dr. What would it be like if you reclaimed the wisdom of your body and learned to trust its messages? What would your life be like if you no longer lived in fear of “germs” or cancer? How would your life be different if your body were your friend and ally? How would your life be different if you learned how to respect your body as though it were a precious creation — as valuable as a beloved friend or child? How would you treat yourself differently? In writing about the uterus. Bantam Books. but I’m pleased to report that since then the number has declined. a bit superstitious. 2 Christiane Northrup. Centers for Disease Control (CDC). this surgery is still performed too often when other options are available.000 operations were reported. the negative messages about the uterus that are reflected in the current statistics and which we internalize over a lifetime is associated with a large number of problems that women experience in this area. Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom. hysterectomy is the second most commonly performed major surgical operation in the United States. and not well educated about that organ. The number of hysterectomies performed peaked in 1985.S. in fact. Northrup notes: “The possibility that the uterus might have any function other than childbearing or tumor production has not been adequately addressed in conventional ob-gyn training. Even today. and its removal is not advisable unless absolutely necessary. But. The general patriarchal tone of this training is that if such a woman were more sophisticated. if a woman has a reproductive illness but wants to keep her uterus even though she has no interest in childbearing. her medical team may view her as overly emotional or sentimental. Northrup gives us some interesting facts and figures on this topic as well: “This undervaluing of the uterus by doctors and the public alike contributes to the fact that. New York. she would know that the uterus is useless to her except for childbearing. Because our thoughts affect our bodies.
sensation painful intercourse. up to half are prompted by uterine fibroids.healthywomen. incontinence chronic constipation and digestive disorders profound fatigue chronic exhaustion altered body odor 3 National Women’s Health Resource Center.000 hysterectomies performed each year in the United States.There are several medical conditions that can be effectively treated or cured with a hysterectomy.hersfoundation. joint and muscle pain and immobility loss of sexual desire. FACT: A woman’s vagina is shortened. Other reasons to have a hysterectomy include: * endometrial hyperplasia with atypia (an overgrowth of the uterine lining that contains precancerous changes in the cells) * cancer of the uterus.” Hysterectomies are also used as a treatment for endometriosis and to stop abnormal uterine bleeding. Redbank. and other pelvic organs urinary tract infections. international organization dedicated to the issue of hysterectomy and advocates for fully informed medical choices by women. Here are some facts from their website www.org 57 . bowel. scarred and dislocated by hysterectomy. NJ 2004 www. frequency. also known as “non-cancerous tumors. vaginal damage displacement of bladder. Among its most common consequences. in addition to operative injuries are: heart disease osteoporosis bone.com . causing pain and discomfort * invasive cervical cancer * colon or bladder cancer that has spread to the uterus * uncontrollable bleeding after childbirth 3 HERS is an independent. FACT: Hysterectomy ’s damage is life-long. Of the approximately 600. arousal. ovary or fallopian tube * genital prolapse (when the ligaments that support pelvic structures weaken) * endometriosis – a condition in which tissue from the uterine lining migrates and adheres to tissue in other parts of the body. FACT: Women experience a loss of physical sexual sensation as a result of hysterectomy.
It will take a lifetime of living in harmony with the needs of this human frame to attain the confidence you will need to fight back against this corrupt medical system run by pharmaceutical. I truly hope that this information shocks you. FACT: The medical term for the removal of the ovaries is castration. they have much to contend with. FACT: Twice as many women in their 20’s and 30’s are hysterectomized as women in their 50’s and 60’s. personality changes. Most women are castrated at hysterectomy. FACT: Gynecologists. if you have been taking care of this human body’s needs. The loss is permanent. irritability. despondency. reclusiveness and suicidal thinking FACT: No drugs or other treatments can replace ovarian or uterine hormones or functions. then. in terms of the requirements to stay in their profession. hospitals and drug companies make more than 8 billion dollars a year from the business of hysterectomy and castration. What is this unwavering faith in the white coat and complete fear and loathing of our own bodies? Once we accept and understand that we play a major part in the mental creation and physical manifestation of our diseases. loss of short-term memory blunting of emotions. they did not need hysterectomies. that is a different story. but rather on the protocols set up to protect the doctor’s liability. insurance companies and complacent medical practitioners. perhaps we will manifest power over this nightmare. And in some cases. However. When we are faced with an emergency situation . FACT: 98% of women HERS has referred to board-certified gynecologists after being told they needed hysterectomies discovered that. you need to. in fact. God Bless them and God Bless hospitals. FACT: The uterus and ovaries function throughout life in women who have not been hysterectomized or castrated. For emergencies. anger. we become so frightened and will do whatever they say. most sincere doctors. I recommend prevention above and beyond all methods of healing. 58 . Even if they are the best. then you won’t have to put yourself in the hands of a system that is not based on truth.
such as water. Fasting is one of the oldest forms of healing known to man. author of the Mucusless Diet Healing System. Norman Walker. The colon. who tend to still eat plenty of cooked and devitalized foods. at the age of 29. who lived past 100 and the great Professor Arnold Ehret. broth and herbal teas are always recommended by all medical professionals to make sure the body is getting vitamins. I would definitely have incorporated it into my healing plan. to prevent the possibility of disease and all that that will incur. After reading books by Dr. I was given the diagnosis of having malignant cervical cancer. I believe that you can trace most physical disease back to the colon and digestive/eliminative tract. Leonardo da Vinci I have been juice fasting for preventive health reasons over the past 25 years. which is the most toxic organ of the body. I also quit my stressful job and went hiking and traveling in Peru. 59 . I used absolutely no medicine. Liquids. certainly. juice. I didn’t know about fasting. Had I known about juice fasting at that time. sugar. while the body works on fighting off viruses and bacteria. along with distilled or purified water. need to fast. In 1975.circle -oflife.Chapter Nine: Juice Fasting Beauty and vitality are gifts from nature for those who live by her laws. How often have we watched our own bodies refrain from eating while we are not feeling well with a cold or flu? Small children and even our pets refrain from taking food and allow their bodies to rest while in a toxic condition.net/NaturalHealth. learning yoga. N. Because of the cancer. eating very simple light vegetarian food.D. affecting so many of the other organs. gets the most benefit from a fast. The purpose of any kind of fasting is to cleanse and detox the body from the inside out. herbal tea and broth made from vegetables. Four months later. I embarked on a bi-yearly program of cleansing my body. mind and spirit with a week or two of fresh fruit and vegetable juices. white flour. I had a perfectly healthy child two and a half years later. We all need to fast if we want any measure of decent health and. surgery or any allopathic procedures. the malignant cancer went into remission. minerals and staying hydrated. in an article published in Natural Health Magazine. you need to fast. I have been guided to learn as much as possible about healing.html . alcohol drinker. Even vegetarians. At the time.. greasy fast food or even a cooked food eater. If you have ever been a meat. meditating and having acupuncture and herbal remedies with a Chinese Acupuncturist. You can read about my healing at www. but I did make some very serious changes in my life. breathing very deeply.
a great classic Third Century Aramaic Manuscript. was translated into English by Edmond Bordeaux Szekely. meditation may come more easily when the body is quiet and still. Dr. as suggested by some water fast proponents” For most people. How to Keep Slim Healthy and Young with Juice Fasting (Health Plus Publishers . 1971) confirms this when he mentions that. Jesus describes in complete detail how to heal oneself of all disease using fasting.Fasting and prayer have been linked for thousands of years by people who want to feel a greater closeness to the Creator. they should fast under a doctor’s supervision and care. or self-digestion. Paavo Airola. The Essene Gospel of Peace. for anyone with any serious medical issues. “The vital elements of the raw juices do not disrupt the healing and rejuvenating process of autolysis. I use this book as my own personal guide and I recommend it highly. Focusing on the body as the temple of God. in his book. However. In this book. 60 . Water fasting can be very extreme and difficult on the individual. too much weight loss too quickly along with detoxification being much more uncomfortable and even dangerous. who are basically healthy. it is possible to take on a short (3-5 days) fresh organic juice fast on their own.
I love this romance that I am having with Life. It’s just so precious to be here in this human form. The now has become the place of choice no matter what the effort put forth to stay present. I am a lover. now is the time to go back to the beginning. Find that cause. You will find trauma. I haven’t always understood this to the degree that I understand it now. It’s time to do your homework like you have never done it before. The present is the present is the present is the present. some progress might be made or you may lose your battle. We watch the war on our TV so matter-offactly. The components of disease may appear complicated at first. perhaps you can now meditate on that clarity and consciousness that exists within you in order to distance yourself from the fear. anger. Healing yourself can’t happen unless you take this most elemental leap into the reality of existence. etc. Disease does not begin from nothing. but it has been more than 30 years of a life filled with amazing possibilities and Grace to make it all happen. resentments. Now. Treating ourselves and others with respect and love is the only way to live. How about watching the war in your mind. guilt. Think of all the times that you skipped over details – some quite important – well. so that you will find the clarity to guide you to the perfect health that you deserve.Conclusion: Getting Clear No matter how we see ourselves. The alternative creates great pain and suffering for all concerned. Go back and review how your human frame became compromised and weakened. It has a cause. If you choose to let others take you down their particular path. frightened and then depressed your whole being. 61 . I recommend that you become very simple and contemplative . It’s much more interesting than any other way to be in this world on this planet that we call Earth. we are here and now. I personally believe that the illness is there for you. You know that there are many books and websites about healing. jealousy. or causes. it seems that my life has taken a different course. I like this challenge to stay in the moment. sorting out the feelings and thought forms that are fighting amongst themselves ? Once you are able to do that. but if you really want to get to the source. you must do this. along with medical and alternative doctors with their take on your illness. I’ve lived in the past and I’ve lived in the future. That has been very deceptive and sometimes painful. Link them together to see a pattern that took you from health to disease.. You can’t fight a battle until you know your enemy. mostly emotional issues that wore you down..
This book and my songs are mirrors through which you can see who you are and where you need to go to make things right. So. so that is when your intentions are pure and your life will reflect that innocence. and they will – that’s what got us into this position in the first place – say NO! Chase them away. You have to remember that our lifestyle plays a major part in our health and wellness. Nature is the best teacher when it comes to understanding the balance and harmony that is needed to survive and then to thrive. Take this time to listen. you don’t require any love or acceptance from the outer. So much of our disease is based on and caused by our anger. so that you will have the time to try many healing modalities that are available. so perhaps. Now is the time for all of us to come together to help ourselves and each other to learn how to be simple. Love your family and your family will love you back. or obligations. I told only a few friends. Not with strings. Move right into the new and fresh breath of the next moment and be grateful for it! Go off by yourself for a while. kindness and true caring for yourself and others. especially in the ramifications of healing ourselves. I had to put on blinders so that I wouldn’t be distracted by anything that would take me away from the plan. Quit your job and camp out in the woods. without any expectations. When I was diagnosed with cancer. Enjoy this process and enjoy Romancing Life 62 . when they come. Living a whole life. Forgiveness is an action that needs to be understood and manifested . feel and taste this life will be the key to unlocking the miracles you want to heal yourself. manifesting their greatness in all that we do and aspire to do is our only purpose. When you know that sweet place within. and jealousy of people in our lives. and the fears it could have carried. fear. Love yourself and others will love you. We do not have the luxury of a negative thought – ever. If you have to. Staying focused on what is real is the challenge before us. The time is now for us to prepare for our future as well. It would have frightened them and that would have back-fired into my own mind. Sitting around being full of fear is not an option for those of us who really want to heal. Stay away from all negative people. but totally unconditionally. We need to make these relationships based on truth in order for us to truly be at peace with ourselves. lower your overhead. hear. I didn’t say anything to my family. full of the gifts we are given.We must also plan for your future. a complete change in how you see. resentment.
my longing for the highest truth set me free. The twelve songs I am presenting mirror the feelings of a heart sculpted by a powerful feeling of inner love. The pain of not knowing if I would live or die generated tremendous emotional confusion until I wrote. at least if I did die. please catch me my Lord Bind me to you with your golden cord This love that you’ve given me is only a part Of the joy that is mending my broken heart For lifetimes and ages I’ve known you before The door that you’ve shown me heals evermore About the Song: This is the song which I wrote while I was healing myself of cancer. 1-Take All the Fear Chorus: Take all the fear that you know I’m hiding Take it away. the joy of the ultimate connection would bind me to the heart of God forever and ever. or if I did live. rhyme and melody have been my life raft from as far back as I can remember. Healing takes place on all levels. In either case. I would be prepared by feeling a strong inner knowing of where I was going. Then. Feeling an escalation of the darkest possible fears of both illness and death. I’m falling. Mostly I am asking for illumination. I am begging the Creator for help.Part II: 12 Songs (©2004) Rhythm. I pass these songs on to you with the hope that you will feel inspired to go deep within yourself to find that peace. having that light from within wash over me with so much love and joy that I will be given complete clarity in the face of such a challenge. so I can be free Replace it with love that is infinitely with me Show me how to see what I’ve never seen before I’m falling. 63 . played and sang this song over and over again.
The main thrust and direction would be mostly based on trusting the intuitive information from my higher self.For me. especially our son. meant to be Looking at you. It was upsetting to all involved. the 1950’s rock n’ roll legend. I understand All I need to know The source of your love is deep within me And it’s crying to be set free How can I thank you for giving me life With every breath that I take Your play is divine. Hutchinson. offered Aaron and I the opportunity to put my trailer on his back forty. and my course of treatment. cancer was truly a blessing. I had been doing some substitute teaching. In order to survive. Aaron. It forced me to create a plan for renewal. That was when Mr. 2-Meant To Be So many lives I must have had Searching for your love It wasn’t this world That could ever please me I needed the reality Chorus: You’ve taken my life into your own And that’s how it was meant to be. I was working for Bo Diddley. my mind. but summer was coming and there would be no work for a while. I would become accountable for my life — my body. Again I must reiterate that the most exciting aspect of the healing took place when I earnestly thanked God for the cancer. eight years after healing myself of cancer. This was a difficult time during which I had gotten a divorce from my husband. guiding me every step of the way. so perfect and true Please let me love only you About the Song: In 1983. Mitchell. Florida. 64 . after a short four-year marriage. the custodian at this local northern Florida school in Hawthorne.
Through a mutual acquaintance, Bo Diddley heard about a Jewish girl singing in the little black church up the road. He insisted on meeting me. After we met and he heard my predicament, the next morning he took his truck and pulled my 17’ travel trailer onto his back forty, bought me a car at the junkyard for $300 and gave me a job taking care of his entire family. From Grandma to the great grand kids, members of the band and all, I took the best care that could of his family. 3 - Every Game in the Book
I’ve been through every game in the book That could ever be played But now I know that there is a place in my heart That will forever stay Chorus: And I know that it’s true And that’s why I love you
When I look in your eyes I can see A reflection of love toward me Your eyes all aglow and a smile on your face I can feel such grace
El tiempo in este vida Es como melodia Que viene de lo hondo de mi ser Una opportunitad para escuchar Esta cancion que puedes conocer Chorus: Y yo se que es verdad Y por eso te amo
About the Song: This song was written at a time when I had made the decision that I had to cease all relationships that contained drama and anguish. Songs usually come to me as I am about to or have already shifted into another gear. I am a creature of love and, therefore, love is the only reality I choose to have in my life. But there is love and there is love. Learning how to
love myself more, filling myself up with enough love so that the cup would be full, became my goal.
Change is the most definite aspect of living on Planet Earth. Besides the floundering economy, increase in crime, pollution -filled cities, what about the shifting of the poles, global warming, ozone layer holes, and other physical earth adjustments? No amount of apathy or fantasy is going to matter when your house floats away in a flood, gets destroyed by a hurricane, fire, tidal wave or tornado. You will be called into immediate action to make the necessary changes to adjust to your new environment.
Letting the understanding of that ultimate truth guide my way throughout this life has been the greatest of all goals. Perhaps our definition of reality needs readjusting. Something real is something that never changes. The truth will set us free.
4 - Hanging on to Pure Love
I’m tired of the limits that my mind puts over me It’s a mighty tight squeeze to find some decent dignity I’ve looked everywhere ‘round this whole world Up and down, ‘round and through, this old’ girl Chorus: And I’m grateful for this life That breathes me through and through And I’m hangin’ on to pure love That’s all there is to do
I ain’t goin’ to no heaven, that’s up above somewhere I’ve got it all right here and now, if you should even care Talk is cheap so I won’t say much more about this now But if you want to know the Truth, if your concepts will allow Chorus Don’t tell me how to live my life, it’s up to each of us To sing the low down blues, or get on that joyful bus 66
Takin’ us to where we all come from There’s a love inside our hearts, no need for us to roam
About the Song: This song really frees up the spirit of love from within. There is just enough raw inspiration to dissuade any negativity the mind could possibly conjure up. The streetwise, straightforward style expresses my stance and keeps me grounded in the reality of now.
The joyful bus may look no different on the outside from other buses you have been on, but there will be something uniquely different, which you will sense. Any encumbrance that you have been carrying on your shoulders will be lifted, and warmth will bathe away those worldly blues. Your breathing will seem fuller and your body will feel lighter. Keep allowing the feeling to come and keep surrendering to it. Why not? You have nothing to lose but your pain and suffering.
You have to stay on the bus. Don’t worry that you might miss your stop. You will be guided each step of the way. Everything that you require will be provided for you on this pleasurabl e bus. Prosperity and abundance will be given to you fully, along with the trust and faith to keep your head in the heavens and your feet on the earth. The bank of love will provide the greatest amount of interest you can ever imagine, and your mutual funs will keep growing by leaps and bonds. You will accrue the security of a permanent future based on the interest of love.
5 - Get Simple I want to be here now, I want to understand and feel And stand on the solid ground of Eternal Love It is so hard to believe that someone really cares And to penetrate my heart the way you always do Chorus: Get simple, look within yourself Do what you can do Listen to the silence It’s inside of you
It just keeps getting better and I get better because of it. His unconditional caring has been the driving force of all that I do with my life. and you’re coming ‘round the bend Your face is all-aglow with such a brilliant light I’m at peace with myself. straightforward it would be. Florida. Mitchell was busy in the galley growing sprouts as I was creating this special song. Coming to my Teacher to listen and savor his teachings has been the ultimate romance in my life. I knew that what I was looking for had to be uncomplicated. I have always felt the presence of a power. since you’ve given me this sight About the Song: Although I grew up without any formal religious training. My mind still wants to come in and tell me that it’s not possible. I was willing to do anything to find out how I wrote this song when I was living on a boat in Ft. 6 . I had just met my husband to be and the future father of my son. in 1976. but sometimes it’s difficult to trust that my world won’t come tumbling down if I’m not holding it up. which could have possibly clouded my innate perceptions. This song flowed out of me one night on the deck as I was experimenting with different tunings on my guitar. it was a blessing that I did not have any particular indoctrination. Lauderdale. I am now I am here and now Inside of me lies the key The key to my heart 68 .There are those of us who can’t hide from the sickness that we see We want peace within ourselves and for our children to be free It’s all before us as the river meets the sea And a Master sings the praises of love in you and me I’m waking up the dream is coming to an end Sky is clearing. sun is shining. In some ways. I want to be in the moment.The Key To My Heart I am here.
I can be. for me and you. freely.The Romance of Life The romance of life is right inside me Waiting for me to find out what I really long for When I can be quiet I can hear love speak To me. I’ll grab a hold and won’t let go Chorus It feels so good to know That this love will help me to grow In the romance of life The story’s been told longer than I know It’s free. dear Lord Cross the desert of my mind Let me feel this thirst inside With you as my guide You have shown me how to live In the here and now I want to say thank you With all of my heart About the Song: This song is a prayer from a very deep part of me. 7 . we must return to that childlike state. My Teacher is the recipient of this song. but right inside. this joy. 69 . These lyrics are so simple. Where in this world could I even find that peace. the birds are singing God knows I feel this life down to my very toes. oh. Now. We have been wired for love. yet I feel them so strongly coming from my heart. is. Then. when we are really ready The sun is shinning. I needed firstly to feel that wasteland of pain just once to know this is not what we have come here for. I can see I can be and see Inside of me lies the key The key to my heart Chorus: Carry me. As children we knew that happiness was something to wake for each day and we experienced that as young children. something else happened and we forgot about how important this happiness. which is our birthright.
I witnessed first hand the intensity of a river out of control and met amazing 70 . let alone. When it’s not. 8 -Guadalupe River Take Me Home Guadalupe River flows on and on and on Guadalupe River please take me to my home Chorus: I long to hear your waterfalls And that sweet cricket’s song Guadalupe River take me home Sun sets over the hill and the workday comes to end Mama and Papa feed their kids and bed they send Hill Country beauty lasts a long time in my mind Been all over this great big world.About the song: I’m having a romance. The Guadalupe River winds through hill and flowery dale. Hummingbird heaven such a joy you are to see You heal my heart and my mind to be set free About the song: I lived in the Hill Country of South Central Texas in early 1996. watch out. To feel this love. When I’m quiet. My lover is a constant. but rather an unconditional feeling right inside of me. This is when it’s calm. get my massage license and learn how to say y’all. I grow each day closer to this real lover. or if I can please my partner with my lovemaking or my dinners. place or thing. such I place I could not find. indeed. for two years. I don’t have to even get dressed. not just on the weekend. enough time to change my license plates. which transports me inward to a generous and faithful lover. My lover has been there since I was born and will be there after I die. I had gone to Texas looking for a low overhead so that I would have more time to figure out how to write. The Texas Hill Country is very special and holds a place in my heart that is very dear. I experience the most divine romance. since there are no discrepancies or fears about being abandoned. which doesn’t involve another person. wear pantyhose and heels.
Mu. Sangha Chorus: We don’t have a moment to lose. Mu. Buddha. For freedom to pray as we please. with the 71 . Sangha About the Song: In 1973. 9 .White Mountain White Mountain sits on the top of the world Snow lions rule the land.Buddha. the culture the teachings of God Reverence for three precious joys. cleaning up my innards more than I ever could have imagined. not more than a few feet from my bed. No description is needed here. Dong. Dru and Ra . Tong. Dharma. after I met my teacher. Six peoples come from the land of Tibet Se. and received his Knowledge . I did a Juice Fast that spring. Must be set free. Six peoples come from the land of Tibet Se. along with a Gallbladder Flush. help with this cause Tibet must be set free. The warring have killed and destroyed The people. We must not shut our eyes. I left his ashram and went on to travel in Northern India. I had heard about a Tibetan Refugee School called Happy Valley. Dru and Ra (2x) Liberty Justice must come to Tibet. I went there hoping to be able to do some teaching of English. Dong. Tong.folks who rode it out with composure and humility as the river came up twenty-four feet one night during the flash flood season. We can help. Her family had been artists and this cottage had an art studio attached to it. which literally hung over the river. Here in our land we have fought long and hard. Each night I was soothed to sleep by the waterfall. In Llhasa the gompa no longer will be Unless Tibet will be free White Mountain sits on the top of the world Snow lions rule the land. Dharma. My wish came true along with much more. Sleeping in the back room of a small Chai (tea) shop. Pat and Frank Nelson let me stay at their cottage overlooking the river.
a few years ago who lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains. The people truly welcomed me into their hearts and I will never forget that. tranquility That exists in you and me About the Song: I met a lovely man. for the love inside We kissed in the Garden of Eden Swirling round we danced and danced And your wine from black berries Made us laugh and cry perchance Chorus: Bridge: This is my dream I wished all along That someone like you could hear my song. What an honor! Each day I meditated in their mountain temple with the smell of incense and hot butter tea. I took a giant leap and flew up to meet him in person in the month of 72 . The woman who founded and directed this school became a mentor to me.grandfather in the next cot. I spent a few weeks learning firsthand about the Tibetan people.For the Love Inside We met in the month of September Summer still painted the land Mountain trails brought us together As we held out our hands Chorus: You played your songs and I played mine Hearts singing for the love. culminating in the Tibetan National Uprising on March 10. two hearts feel Honesty. London W 1. like I did. You can read about Richen Dolma Taring in her autobiographical book. The Daughter of Tibet (Wisdom Publications. I feel so grateful to have been able to travel. and to get the chance to immerse myself in the pride of their fascinating culture. 23 Dering Street. through the Internet. Many nows make love so real Two hearts can open. Her book is a vivid account of life in Tibet before the invasion of the Communist Chinese and tragic events that ensued. 10 . after the destruction of her city. to a place of such richness and depth. 1959. She was the first Tibetan woman to speak and write English and fortunately was able to escape from Tibet along with the Dalai Lama. England). Lhasa.
The relationship was short lived. license. so it didn’t take much for the song to manifest. 11 . Somehow.The best you can be I’m takin’ a chance on life Leaving my fears behind Movin’ on to all the good things I know I will find Chorus I’ve got nothing to lose Only learnin’ to gain And a positive feeling growing strong Keeping me sane Chorus Give your love away Get it back one day Give your heart a chance to know that It’s the only way About the Song: Most of us don’t make our work our play and our play our work.September. Indian summer filled the mountains and infatuation filled our hearts. but served us both well during its idealistic manifestation. This is one of the only love songs I have ever written for another person. or 73 . never believed this horrible falsehood. and absolutely no fun. The word “work” for most of us conjures up exhaustion. Bob plays the piano and has written and recorded many lovely songs. we became convinced that the only way to survive would be to work hard and look forward to playing on the weekends. Throughout my life. Some part of me. there have been times when I have had to buckle down in order to get that degree. The romance was alive and filled with magic. He and I shared our music with each other and with others in the intentional community where he lives. pain.Make Your Work Your Play Chorus: Make your work your play Play your work all day Find the balance that will set you free To be .
move around. We are all the people People of this land Created from the forces Of water. THE PEOPLE SHALL CONTINUE. Most important is finding the balance between work and play. body and my spirit to develop something important to me. It’s only a matter of breaking some bad habits and replacing them with ones that support our higher selves. I still have to sit for many hours. I find it extremely necessary to take breaks every hour or so. and breathe some fresh air.Poem adaptation. and limpness in unused ones. Go for it! 12 -The People Shall Continue . Ortiz writer of the children’s book. Get up. sky and sand We must now be sure Of the balance of the earth Take care of each and every Creature from its birth Chorus: The people shall continue God has made it so The future holds the promise Children make it grow Fight against those forces Which take away our soul Insure that life continues Beyond what we may know 74 . We are not robots and many of our everyday postures and performances are not natural. I truly recommend that we work out early in the morning. yet very much the same. using my brain. Each hour requires a mini-session (five minutes) in order to get the most out of our productive lives.even complete a book for publication. shoulders. To impose the body to sit for too long can create a kind of atrophy where there is tension in overused areas. Now that many of us sit in front of computers for much of our day. Although we have to work hard in order to accomplish certain goals in our life. we can still enjoy the process and be grateful for the learning that is involved in accomplishing our task. we will already have had the opportunity to wake ourselves up with strong aerobic and stretching movements. That’s different. shake out my hands. so that by the time we begin our sedentary workday. Permission granted by the author Simon J.
we must know our past. my Aunt Irene and Uncle Harry had a poem. This song asks that we heal ourselves through respect for the past. During the middle 1980’s. Through the Acoma Pueblo. as well as self-destruct. released in 1988. I contacted Mr. We do have the power to self-heal. entitled Continuance by an Acoma Pueblo Indian named Simon Ortiz. which was found in his 1977 children’s book The People Shall Continue. whether in blood or friendship. Ortiz. must unite within that deepest part of us to understand this Earth and each other. I was working as The Director of Intergenerational Programming at the Southeast Florida Center on Aging. In order for that to take place. published through Children’s Book Press. I was guided to him at the University of Toronto where he is a professor. While deciding on which songs I would use on this CD. Since I felt so inspired by the contents of the poem.About the Song: For many years. I decided to use it as the title and theme of an intergenerational training manual. completely enjoy our present and be prepared for whatever our future holds in store for us. Families. framed and hung in their home. I have the revised edition. 75 . He gave me permission to use my adaptation of his poem.
com : I am Los Angeles -based personal chef raw and vegan cuisine.learnrawfood. www. live-food.rawreform. books. Supporting body-mind-spirit growth and well being through nutrition counseling. recipes.shazzie.com : Raw food. Loads of info and products.html : Happy Cow provides information on the raw food diet.com : . www.K based site.awareeating .com : Loren Lockman.rawgour met.rawfood.com : The Raw Health Revolution Leader.com : Products. from Plain to Beautiful www.healthyhealing .Alok Holistic Health Community. in accordance with your body's wisdom.Spread the raw word to everyone! Share your stories.highvibe. etc. Offering supervised fasts and healing programs.net/raw/raw_living. exotic retreats.livingnutrition. including Jenny's book "Raw Food Made Easy for 1 or 2 People". www. www.rawfoodchat. www. www.bodybubble. meditations. bodywork and other items for health and healing. www.CelestialRawGoddess. and knowledge about the greatest lifestyle ever! www.raw bc.com : The Boutenko family web-site www. a year long.chefcc. parties. massage.com: Nomi Shannons web-site promoting her book the raw gourmet www. recipes.com : The Ultimate Guide to the Transformation from Sick to Vigorous. facts and tips for staying raw. web site links.com : Raw food. www.living -foods.com : lots of information. emotional eating. raw diary.BeautifulOnRaw.com : Fun. & celebration. videos. the way God made them. www.gardenofhealth.rawfamily.rawfoodinfo. resources and world-wide searchable restaurant guide.happycow.com : lots of information for the raw lifestyle www. www. inspiring.com : Paul Nison s web-site www. www.com : Large site with lots of resources and information www. from Aging to Youthful. recipes and lots of other info for raw food. classes.com/eco -eating : Learn about the pitfalls to watch out for when you attempt to eat raw.fromsadtoraw.rawtimes. Practical tools for learning to eat naturally.f redericpatenaude. www.dancingdragonenterprises .rawretreat. hands-on workshops. bodywork and other items for health and healing.com : Lots of info and tons of products. www.alokhealth. interesting and very informative site with transformational pictures. www.com : Raw food products for organic health and natural diets including weight loss and self help.com : Testimonial. reiki. www.eatraw. Tons of info for the raw world! www.com : A testimonial raw weight loss site.com : Promoting the livingnutrion magazine.com : Raw journal. Use the famous CaPNaK Chart to achieve and maintain tissue balance and fluid balance in your body. Canada www. or simply feel out of control with food. www. recipes.rawlife. raw foods.thegardendiet.com : Don't miss Frederic's weekly e-mail news on the raw-food diet for controversial and useful information.com : Achieving vibrant health eating the foods God made.livingnutrition.com : Raw food chef Jenny Cornbleet offers raw food diet lectures. www. Free consultation.com : Personal coaching on the phone for women who struggle with eating disorders.Part III.com : U.ArtOfLivingWell. Raw food recipes and books are also available.tanglewoodwellnesscenter.Resources: www.com : .com : Rio s web site. 76 .fresh -network. day by day.org : Natural healing for people and animals www. www.com : Great site with lots of information www. information and retreats www. www. my story and guidance for others who want to find their way into healthy recovery from obesity and overeating issues. and consultations in the Chicago area and nationwide. www.org : A non-profit organization for raw and living foods in Vancouver and British Columbia . yoga. events. and articles.
events.com .com : a major source of resources and networking for the raw world www.the best raw bars available! www.Bryant Burke's site with info on seminars.rawheaven. www.discountjuicers. www.com .about -breathing.com and www. Hardcover 12 Steps to Raw Foods: How to End Your Addiction to Cooked Food—by Victoria Boutenko.by Juliano Brotman (Author). SYNERGY Healing combines Holistic Therapy.com .thefruitpages.com : Everything you ever wanted to know about fruit www.great site on organic gardening www.stepstoperfecthealth. Read other people's success stories.raw food restaurant in Beverly .com : Tons of products at low prices www.eatsprouts. www.This is Brenda Cobbs site with lots of testimonials www.Clinical testing and treatments tailored to the individuals needs www.baar. www. www.com : Alissa Cohen's raw food support site for asking questions. Paperback 77 . www. Bach Flower Remedies and Meditation. Gabriel Cousens (Foreword).com : For fresh LIVING greens daily.purerawcafe. staying motivated and meeting new raw friends.uk www.fountainofyouthnow.rawfoodnetwork.a beautiful site with lots of inspiration and info. lectures and a raw food community posting board.com . www.htm Books Eating for Beauty – by David Wolfe Sunfood Diet Success System – by David Wolfe Raw: The Uncook Book: New Vegetarian Food for Life . MA www.organicgardencafe.livingharvest.A revolutionary system designed to help you blossom into your full potential.uk .Everything about breathing all in one place. Erika Lenkert (Author).co.Medical institute and raw food health retreat in Mexico www. build your own Automatic Sprouter or order one ready-built.sanoviv.com .com .com .rawesome. www.com .livingintheraw.com . LIVE Hemp Food Products.rawcrunch.com/castoroilinstruct.organicfood -4u.synergy -healing.com Castor Oil Packs http://www.conscious nutrition.co.rawfoodhealth.goingorganic. getting advise.com .Cynthia Beavers web site and her new raw café web site www. Post your daily journal and pictures.rawfoodtalk.com .
by Elysa Markowitz.June 2003) Eating Without Heating: Favorite Recipes from Teens Who Love Raw Food . MD Cousens.January 1984) The Sprouting Book .April 1999) The Raw Gourmet . Solomae Primal Mothering in a Modern World . et al (Paperback . et al(Paperback . Gabriel Cousens (Paperback October 1998) Sproutman ’s Kitchen Garden Cookbook: 250 flourless. Brian Clement (Foreword)( Paperback . Dairyless. Living Food Vegetarian Recipes . Stoycoff.Juice Fasting and Detoxification : Use the Healing Power of Fresh Juice to Feel Young and Look Great: The Fastest Way to Restore Your Health . and Culinary Delight With the Raw Foods Diet . et al(Paperback .February 2004) Rainbow Green Live Food Cuisine .June 2002) The Essene Gospel of Peace. a great classic Third Century Aramaic Manuscript.January 2004) The Juice Master’s Ultimate Fast Food: Discover the Power of Raw Juice .by Brigitte Mars (Paperback .October 1986) Warming Up to Living Foods .by Steve Meyerowitz.March 1999) The Hippocrates Diet and Health Program . Low Salt.by Ann Wigmore (Paperback .by Brenda Cobb (Paperback .by Cheryl L.by Hygeia Halfmoon( Paperback ) Raw Food Treatment of Cancer .by Harvey Diamond( Paperback .July 1998) Raw Kids: Transitioning Children to a Raw Food Diet .by Steve Meyerowitz.by Paul Nison (Paperback ) Dining in the Raw .July 1999) The Raw Life : Becoming Natural In An Unnatural World . Low Fat.November 1995) Fit for Life.by Kristine Nolfi(Paperback . Energy.by Steve Meyerowitz.March 2003) The Raw Secrets: The Raw Vegan Diet in the Real World by Frederic Patenaude( Paperback ) The Living Foods Lifestyle .by Nomi Shannon. et al (Paperback .by Sergei Boutenko. et al (Paperback .by Ann Wigmore (Paperback . was translated into English by Edmond Bordeaux Szekely 78 . Valya Boutenko (Paperback ) Sprouts The Miracle Food: The Complete Guide to Sprouting .by Jason Vale(Paperback .January 2004) Rawsome: Maximizing Health.by Gabriel. Not Fat for Life . Low Temperature.by Rita Romano.
shtml 79 . Adkins has studied macrobiotics extensively over the past seven years with Denny Waxman. Stacey Adkins lives in Washington D. Stacey L. She then went on to complete a fellowship in cardiac anesthesiology at New York University and a research fellowship in neuroscience at the University of California at San Diego. Adkins retired from medicine in order to heal from a long bout with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Dr.J. a renowned macrobiotic counselor and educator in Pennsylvania.ucf. Ralph Alan Dale eventually became an acupuncturist and author of Acupuncture With Your Fingers: An 18-point Healing System.A. Dialectic Press. Dr.. Dr. In 1995. who incidentally.edu/gendergazette/paper3. She has held faculty positions at NYU. Adkins has just been invited to be on the full-time faculty at the Strengthening Health Institute in Pennsylvania. 3 – Regia Leftwich Paper: Western Castration: A Feminist View of Hysterectomy http://www. She trained in Internal Medicine at Pennsylvania Hospital and completed her residency in anesthesiolo gy at the University of Pennsylvania in 1988. She has also studied at the Vega Institute and with Michio Kushi in his Advanced Training Seminars. Adkins is now available for personal macrobiotic counseling sessions.C.cas. area. in Biology from Brandeis University in 1979 and a Doctor of Medicine from Stanford University in 1984.Endnotes: 1 Dr. private cooking lessons and lectures on macrobiotics in the Washington D. medical students and nurses. has been “macrobiotic” since conception. UCSD and the Medical College of Pennsylvania. She has completed his two-year Macrobiotic Counselor Training Program at the Strengthening Health Institute and is now engaged in the Graduate Studies Program.) 1 Dr. with her husband Mark and their son A.C. She began practicing and studying macrobiotics and gradually recovered her health. Adkins received a B. Dr. 1989. where she has practiced clinical anesthesiology and taught physicians. She has decided to apply her vast experience and knowledge to helping others achieve optimum health through macrobiotics.
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