A Candid Doormat

By Elton Camp Welcome mats are usually a lie There’s another version I’d try Rather than “Welcome,” It’d say Simply and truthfully, “Go Away” Especially those who “drop in” Be they relative or “friend” “I guess I should’ve called first” “Yep,” under my breath, I cursed “No, I’m real glad you came by.” I try to hide that it’s a total lie I was just about to take a nap Not to listen to their inane yap Occasionally, “Welcome” is so Usually, I want to see them go A Doberman I wish to run ’em away So, from my house, they would stay A hidden trap door I want, as well It opens and drops them into hell But “Welcome” on the mat must stay Instead of the more candid, “Go Away”

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