Centerstage 2013

ALADDIN
by Paul Hendy

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List of Scenes
ACT ONE PROLOGUE: Beneath the Great Pyramids of Egypt SCENE 1: The Market Place in Old Peking SCENE 2: The Street of a Thousand Goldfish SCENE 3: Widow Twankey’s Laundry SCENE 4: In the Midst of the Mysterious Mountains SCENE 5: Inside the Cave SCENE 6: The Cave of Jewels

ACT TWO SCENE 7: The Market Place in Old Peking SCENE 8: Outside Aladdin’s Palace SCENE 9: The Garden of Aladdin’s Palace SCENE 10: The Street of a Thousand Goldfish SCENE 11: Night Flight to Cairo SCENE 12: Beneath the Great Pyramids of Egypt SCENE 12(a): Abanazar’s Palace in Egypt SCENE 14: Songsheet SCENE 15: The Pagoda of Perpetual Bliss

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SONGS: ACT ONE – use lyrics as re-written ins cript Welcome to the City Page 8 SPIRIT/ABANAZAR/ENSEMBLE/JUVES http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-L0i5pnDxs Good Old Fashioned Loverboy Page 20 ALADDIN/JASMINE/ENSEMBLE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkr9V41_e40 Not Even The King Page 26 JASMINE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahsFa6AYRaQ 500 miles Page 43 TWANKEY/PONGO/ALADDIN/JASMINE/ENSEMBLE/JUVES http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ4Ib-7fJqY Price Tag Page 53 GENIE/SPRIT/ALADDIN/ENSEMBLE/JUVES http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLEAMpzQLTc ACT TWO Old Macdonald (Kid participation) Page 88 PONGO/ALADDIN Prince Ali Page 57 SPIRIT/GENIE/ENSEMBLE/JUVES http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEryAoLfnAA The Twelve Days of Christmas (Splosh Scene) Page 63 ALADDIN/ENSEMBLE 1/PONGO Defying Gravity Page 76 SPIRIT/ALADDIN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMBcTGJ4YM Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Ghost Gag Bench) Page 79 ALADDIN/PONGO/TWANKEY/ENSEMBLE/JUVES If You’re Looking For Trouble Page 81 ABANAZAR, JUVES, ENSEMBLE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg-1qW2xAU4 Think Page 86 SPIRIT/GENIE/ALL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsL9UL9qbv8 Pantomime (Pom Poms) Page 90 ALL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHitulGaS9k

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ACT ONE
PROLOGUE - BENEATH THE GREAT PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT MUSIC CUE: Overture LX CUE: House lights to half LX CUE: House lights out FLY CUE: Show cloth out MUSIC CUE: ABANAZAR Motif and underscore. ABANAZAR is discovered on, leaning over a burning brazier, incanting a spell ABANAZAR: …fair is foul and foul is fair. (Suddenly he turns and looks upwards)… Behold! Here, in the pyramids of Egypt, beneath the cavernous tomb of Ramses II… I, Abanazar, Greatest Sorcerer in the World, purveyor of all things evil… Underscore stops and ABANAZAR looks at the audience ....and leading thespian of my generation… Underscore re-starts …shall learn the secret of omnipotent power. On this dark, iniquitous night, the Ancient Pharaohs have decreed that I could be the supreme ruler of the universe with the help of this: The Ring of Tutankhamen! (over-dramatically) But how... how do I unleash its malevolent power? Music stops and ABANAZAR, almost disappointedly, addresses the audience Ahem… it’s strange but the Ancient Pharaohs mentioned that, at this juncture, there might be some sort of audience participation. I’ll try again... Music starts (over-dramatically again) How?... How do I unleash its malevolent power? PLANT in AUDIENCE shouts ‘Rub the ring’ (encouraging audience) I beg your pardon? AUDIENCE shout ‘Rub the ring’ You want me to rub Tutankhamen’s ring? An unusual concept 4

You are the Spirit of the Ring.. silver bells tinkling on a light summer breeze. ABANAZAR rubs the ring PYRO CUE: DSR SND FX CUE: Thunder MUSIC CUE: Spirit motif The SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSR. whispering tones like soft. Tell me. stop! What are you doing… what’s all this? (he attempts to dance ‘Gangnam Style’!) Right. You must tell me what you know! (returning to a serious Spirit-like pose and voice) I do know one very important thing. speak in what I’m sure are delicate..but it might just work. Who is your master? (returning to a serious Spirit-like pose and voice) I serve the 5 SPIRIT: SPIRIT: . powerful spirit…tell me what you know! Beat SPIRIT: I know how to dance ‘Gangnam Style’… hit it… two. a supreme being... three. Hahahahahahahaaaaaa… She snorts again ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: Stop that ridiculous laughing. Let’s get a couple of things straight here. Speak. (in a very annoying accent) Al-wight buddeeeeee! How’s it goin’? Hahahahahahahahahaha… She has a ridiculously long and comedic laugh with one of those annoying snorts at the end ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: I beg your pardon? I said. She is a vision of beauty and ABANAZAR drops to his knees in subservience ABANAZAR: Ah.. stop..... I beg thee to impart thy vast knowledge upon me. beautiful apparition.. four… MUSIC CUE: Gangnam Style (8 bars) SPIRIT does a very comedic ‘Gangnam Style’ routine ABANAZAR: Stop.

You need the Genie from. will only have thirty seconds to retrieve it. One: to have supreme omnipotent power. (bowing) I can help you. pure of heart and generous in spirit. O Master.. The only person who can bring you the lamp is a boy called Aladdin and even he. you need a more powerful Spirit than me. (in a deep and dramatic voice with echo) ‘The Ancient Lamp of The Orient!’ MUSIC CUE: Dramatic Chord ABANAZAR: Not… (in a deep and dramatic voice with echo) The Ancient Lamp of The Orient? MUSIC CUE: Dramatic Chord So how do I find this lamp? SPIRIT: The Ancient Lamp lies at the bottom of The Cave of Jewels in far off China. (bowing) I can help you. Young boy? Bah… (to the audience) I hate children! What do I need the help of a young boy for? Surely I’m young enough to get the lamp myself… (aside to the audience) I can still play juvenile lead! If you enter the cave it will mean certain death. O Master. not a miracle worker! Look. once inside the cave. ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZER: Ha! Then you serve me! I have three wishes and as my slave you must grant them..wearer of Tutankhamen’s Ring. she’s a fat guy in a dress! You’ll find her in the Rainier Beach district of 6 ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: . Two: To rule the entire universe. Aladdin? Where will I find this Aladdin? He is the son of Widow Twankey and you can’t miss her. Three: To be the greatest Shakespearian actor that ever lived! Pause SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: Hahahahahahaha! Shut upppppppppp! What? I’m a Spirit. if you want to rule the universe and be a successful Shakespearian actor (she sniggers). It may only be retrieved by an innocent young boy.

ABANAZAR and ENSEMBLE There is a busy marketplace.. Hold your horses.. the ENSEMBLE and JUVENILES enter from all sides SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: (over intro) Welcome to the City of Old Peking. ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: Old Peking in far-off China. MUSIC CUE: ‘Welcome to the City’ SPIRIT OF THE RING. get the call And I have to say 's no other way Throw your pennies In a wishing well 7 ENSEMBLE: . we’ve got to do a bit of sight-seeing first.. SPIRIT tries to show ABANAZAR the sights of PEKING. Spirit. He isn’t that keen. Aladdin. Come on. Very clever. ABANAZAR and ENSEMBLE She indicates for the temple to disappear and we are magically transported to a busy marketplace in Old Peking LX CUE: Bright State for Song The ENSEMBLE and JUVENILES enter from all sides SCENE ONE . Set me free.. do whatever Hit the wall.Old Peking. guy.THE MARKET PLACE IN OLD PEKING MUSIC CUE: ‘Welcome to the City’ SPIRIT OF THE RING.. eh? Can you take me there? In the blink of an eye O’ master. Hello everyone! (smiling and waving) Hello!!! During the song.. let’s find the boy. welcome to the city You'll become number one With a witty mind You will spellbind Follow me. SPIRIT: Ay ay Well done...

Might get heaven And you might get hell Thunder. ahh) SPIRIT: Free your mind. burn Either way you'll learn Good bite out of the city (Ahh. lightning Ain't that kinda frightening Saints and sinners On the road to fame Ain't no winner 'Til we know your name (spoken) Abanazar!! Black white. what I get My prerogative That's how I live Throw your pennies In a wishing well Might get heaven And you might get hell Black white. find the cave. do or die 8 . ahh. do the time When tomorrow comes We're the pretty ones Very true. let’s review. yeah Yeah. your behind's gonna follow Do the crime. flashlight Show me what you got ABANAZAR SPIRIT: SPIRIT/ENSEMBLE: Have a good bite out of the city Take a long cold look at the world You might crash. flashlight Show me what you got ABANAZAR GENIE SPIRIT/ENSEMBLE: Have a good bite out of the city Take a long cold look at the world You might crash. rub the lamp What I take. burn Either way you'll learn Good bite out of the city The way you want it or won't. yeah ABANAZAR: Show and prove.

let’s hear it for Aladdin! ENSEMBLE cheer. we didn’t do this in the park with Greenstage.. Aladdin. shout Either way you'll learn: Good time out at the panto LX CUE: Bright state for scene ENSEMBLE: 9 . I’ve had enough of this singing and dancing nonsense. tremble fools. we won't cry No no. hit 'em high Take an eye for an eye Evil music vamps – ABANAZAR: (over music) Bah. Look. He will retrieve the lamp for me and when he does. Spirit. welcome to the panto You'll become number one With a witty tongue We praise the young Panto time is sublime do whatever Hiss or boo. SPIRIT exits.. for I shall rule the world and finally be recognised as the major acting talent that I am! Follow me.. SPIRIT goes to follow him and then decides to ignore him SPIRIT/ENSEMBLE: Yeah! Have a good bite out of the city Take a long cold look at the world (Oh yeah) You might crash.SPIRIT: BOTH: We won't sleep. ALADDIN enters ALADDIN: Well done.. burn Either way you'll learn Good bite out of the city (speaks) Ladies and Gentleman boys and girls. ABANAZAR exits SL. we don't cry Hit 'em low. we must find the boy. or even at Renton Civic.. up to you And I have to say 's no other way Have a good time out at our panto Take a long lovely look at the world (Oh yeah) You might laugh.

here in Old Peking. Now. ‘Hiya kids!’ (boys and girls react)... you have to shout… ‘Hiya Aladdin!’ Do you think you can do that? Let’s have a go.. Unnamed Villager Number One… that’s what he’s called in the script! Yes. but now it’s time for ones we’ve all been waiting for… the dads and the grumpy grandads. if your mum doesn’t shout out it means she doesn’t love you! Come on.. why don’t we have a competition to see who’s the loudest? Good idea.. I mean participation! Who’s going to be the loudest?. Widow Twankey! Now. we have got a secret signal and the secret signal is this… (he does the secret signal). (To Aladdin) That was very good. Aladdin.. ‘Hiya gang’ (audience react) Brilliant. Hey. This will be good. don’t let me down. will it be the mums and the wrinkly grannies. (Aladdin agrees) OK.At the end of song ENSEMBLE stay on ALADDIN: Hello! (audience react) Oh come on. boys and girls. ‘Hiya mums!’(mums react) What do you think.... seeing as you’re so friendly. or will it be the dads and grumpy grandads? Let’s find out shall we? All the boys and girls first.. Come on dads. MUSIC CUE: Cow bell Let’s see everyone doing the secret signal (audience do secret signal) So whenever I come on I’m going to shout ‘Hiya gang’ and you shout ‘Hiya Aladdin’ and we all do… (secret signal) MUSIC CUE: Cow bell ENSEMBLE: ALADDIN: VILLAGER 1: ALADDIN: 10 . I’m gonna shout ‘Hiya gang’ and. Will it be the boys and girls. pretend you want to be here. at the tops of your voices.. gang? The VILLAGERS agree that they were good ALADDIN: Yes. mums. we’ll have a little bit of audience patronisation... you can do better than that… Hello! (audience react) Are you friendly? My name’s Aladdin and I live here in Peking with my mom. come on boys and girls.. in my gang... ‘Hiya dads!’ (Dads react – ALADDIN imitates them) I’d rather be watching the Seahawks! Now... you can be in my gang if you want… do want to be in my gang? (audience react) Here’s what you do: Every time I come on. I’ve got my own gang… watch this: (to ensemble) Hiya gang! (stepping forward and waving in a very obvious manner) Hiya Aladdin! Hey.. mums and wrinkly grannies next..

PONGO: Hello… (audience react) Oh. PONGO: ALADDIN: (offstage) Clear the streets. clear the streets! Oh no.This guy on the front row wasn’t joining in at all… so we’re going to get him to do it all on his own! ( he gets man on front row . He holds up a SAT NAV ALADDIN: PONGO: A Bonnie Tyler GPS? Yes. If you shout ‘Hiya Aladdin’ and do the secret signal really loud. my costume’s louder than that! Hello! (audience react) I am PC Pingu Pongo PingPong of the Old Peking Police .Party Pooper Patrol! I have to admit that’s not easy to say in this totally authentic Chinese accent. I should have been here sooner but I was using the latest Police technology… it’s a Bonnie Tyler GPS. it’s useless… It keeps telling you to turn around and every now and then it falls apart! (to a VILLAGER) Would you park that for me?. Only we don’t call it theft in Peking. he asks him his name and gets him to shout on his own) Now John. Pongo? Oh yes.who. for the purposes of this script will be called ‘John’ to stand up. and let me tell you why: because they’re all very glad it’s not them who has to do it. Make sure you lock it. We have a lot of theft. come on.. this is Federal Way! VILLAGER takes CAR off ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN Is the crime rate bad at the moment. ‘Hiya John’ (John reacts and does secret sign) Give John a great big round of applause (audience applause) So. you’re all in my gang now and you all know the secret signal… AUDIENCE AND ENSEMBLE react SFX CUE: Police siren. it’s the police! LX: Flashing light MUSIC CUE: Chinese-style ‘Bad Boys’ play on ALADDIN and VILLAGERS run to the sides as PC PONGO enters USR in a RIDICULOUSLY SMALL ELECTRIC POLICE CAR.. I guarantee all these people will go crazy with applause just for you. Oh really? What DO you call it? 11 .

Tenpin? No. Who are? The Emperor and his daughter.! Ba-dum-tish! Now. the bowling alley. The bowling alley? Yes. it’s permanent! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: Well look. what are you up to. They’re proceeding with precipitation through the precinct in a precise procession. ALADDIN: PONGO: Why would she do such a stupid thing? She thought the change would do her good. No. ALADDIN: I’m not lazy! I work for my mom at the laundry.. we’re opening a Mobile Chinese Takeaway and I’ve got a job at the bowling alley. you’ve got to clear the streets. I’m more in love than that! (audience react) I love her but she doesn’t even know who I am 12 .. Aladdin? You look to me like a lazy layabout who larks around looking for a laugh.PONGO: Chinese takeaway. the beautiful Princess Jasmine… Princess Jasmine? Aladdin’s legs go wobbly MUSIC CUE: Percussion coconut ‘knock’ PONGO: ALADDIN: Oooooo!!! (to the audience) Did you see that? Aladdin’s got Coconut Knee! A terrible infliction but you can get cream for it. I caught the cashier at my local supermarket taking money from the cash register. it’s not that… (to the audience) Listen. can you lot keep a secret? (audience react) I’m in love with Princess Jasmine (audience react) Oh. come on. MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! And you can’t trust anyone these days.

Drum roll stops. you lot. WIDOW TWANKEY steps out of the Sedan Chair TWANKEY: Hello.because I’m just a humble laundry boy but one day. I’ve been shopping at Target! (French pronunciation) Oh it was terrible! I thought you liked Target. machine gun. bow your heads and show due reverence to the most beautiful lady in the whole of China. I do... hand grenade. (sitting up) Yes. you’ll help me won’t you. having his throat cut. a night out in Fife! MUSIC CUE: Chinese Fanfare into drum roll Oh no.. and every other imaginable death intercut with ‘and now the end is near’… ‘Tell Laura I Love Her’ and ‘Who Wants to Live Forever’. hanging. Thank goodness I’m here.. screaming. PONGO mimes the actions to his own soundtrack of running. Federal Way! MUSIC CUE: Short burst of Chinese ‘Nothing Like a Dame’ ENSEMBLE exit SL and SR. 13 . this must be the Princess Jasmine now.. You know what you get if you’re caught looking at the Princess.. guys? PONGO: Well. the penalty is.. stabbing. But a blind person came in with a seeing-eye dog. disappointed PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: Widow Twankey. you need to make sure you’re not here when the Emperor and Princess arrive.. In a completely over the top manner. I’m going to be more that that.. it’s you! Yes.. on your knees and avert your eyes from her beautiful looks and stunning figure.. boys and girls. ALADDIN and ENSEMBLE drop to knees and bow as MALE ENSEMBLE enter carrying a ROYAL SEDAN CHAIR (to audience) Ladies and Gentlemen... (to ensemble) Right.. strangling. He ends up on the floor ALADDIN: PONGO: You don’t mean we get.

what’s this about you Twankeys opening a mobile Chinese Takeaway? Oh.... we’re both young.. you do! Where would you be without a laugh.. Well. the mobile Chinese Takeaway? (she shouts) Bring on the mobile Chinese Takeaway! An ENSEMBLE MEMBER brings forward a cart with the sign ‘TWANKEY’S MOBILE CHINESE TAKEAWAY’ 14 PONGO: TWANKEY: .. No. just looking around. He’s looking at me thinking I don’t stand a chance with that red hot sexy mama. John. he died when he fell into a jar of coffee.. Better! I lost my first husband. Hello ‘ John’!. at least it was instant! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! So what are you up to. what a card game that was! Actually. But you do.PONGO: TWANKEY: There’s nothing wrong with that.. They’re lovely… (indicating the man in the front row) ‘John’s’ hard work! Ooh.” MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum –tish! PONGO: TWANKEY: We thought you were the Princess Jasmine.. I can see ‘John’ checking me out. eh? (indicating the man in the front row ) Sitting in the front row with ‘John’! Are you enjoying yourself.. A jar of coffee? Yes... I asked him what he was doing and he said: “Oh. She demonstrates PONGO: TWANKEY: And no-one stopped him? Well. But he picked up the leash and started swinging the dog around his head.. I’m a widow (audience react)… Is that it? I’d hate to break an arm in front of you lot! Come on... I’m a widow (audience react). slim and extremely beautiful! The only difference is... John? (John reacts) Could you tell your face about it?! (to TWANKEY) Now then.. Aladdin? ALADDIN/ PONGO: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: I’ve been talking to all these people... I can understand your confusion. though.

Widow Twankey. Pongo. We have (he does chicken impression) buckkk buckkkkk buckkkk! Chicken? Mushroom! Why did you do an impression of a chicken? Because I can’t do an impression of a mushroom! 15 ALADDIN: TWANKEY} PONGO} ALADDIN: PONGO: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: . How can you be sure? A million flies can’t be wrong! What will you take off for cash? Everything except my earrings. this is the best food in China.Here it is now. tell him what soup we have. look. Have you no scruples? No. you’ve heard of cordon bleu? PONGO: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO TWANKEY PONGO TWANKEY PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: Yes. This should be cordoned off! I’ll have you know.. do you have Prawn Balls? No it’s just the way he walks! She! Sorry.. What are those things on sticks? They’re senior citizens! (to the audience) Hello to all the seniors! (audience react) Look at that. she! Do you do soup? Of course we do soup! Aladdin. it’s like a Depends convention! Three cheers for the pensioners… hip hip… replacement! Tell me. but I could order you some.

say the magic word ‘abracadabra’ and all the marshmallows will magically disappear. ALADDIN and TWANKEY take the marshmallows and shove them in their mouths.. wave my hand over the plate. PONGO picks up a PLATE FULL OF MARSHMALLOWS PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: ALADDIN: What are these marshmallows doing here? Ah.. I’m so good I think I’ll try it again but this time with… ( in a very knowing manner) twice as many marshmallows! He brings out another PLATE WITH TWICE AS MANY MARSHMALLOWS. TWANKEYS react (their 16 PONGO: . Pongo.say the magic words ‘abracadabra’ and all the marshmallows will disappear.. ALADDIN and TWANKEY take the marshmallows and shove them in their mouths . I can see a whole new career as a magician! I’ll try it again but this time… with two donuts! He brings out TWO DONUTS.. wave my hand over the plate. TWANKEYS react .. Their mouths are full of marshmallows! . I’ve always wanted to be a magician. What you have to do is close your eyes. wave your hand over the plate... did you? ( he looks into the wings) And there seem to be more marshmallows than usual! Good luck! Right.. We can teach you to be a magician. you didn’t see that coming... I’ll give it a go. OK... He closes his eyes. Oh.say the magic words ‘abracadabra’ and all the marshmallows will disappear.. I close my eyes. He opens his eyes to see the empty plate.From the back of the cart. I close my eyes. you’ll love this. As he closes his eyes.. He opens his eyes and sees the empty plate This is brilliant.. He is very excited by his new-found talent That is amazing! I didn’t know I could do magic..

17 . I may get a cheeky glimpse of the Princess. let’s all count from five to zero and when we get to zero. He opens his eyes and sees the empty plate This is brilliant. . it hasn’t worked… TWANKEY/ ALADDIN: Oh yes it has! ALADDIN puts the ‘IDENTICAL’ HELMET ON PONGO’S head and foam shoots out the top! MUSIC CUE: Comedy sting PONGO: Why I oughta… PONGO exits DSL in a comedic fashion TWANKEY ALADDIN: That’s got rid of him! Come on Aladdin. ‘abracadabra!’ ( Nothing happens) Oh no. all the food will magically re-appear! Ready… Five… four… PONGO closes his eyes and counts.. wave my hand over the plate. boys and girls? (Audience react). He closes his eyes. I’m so good at this. I think I'll stay. this time I’m going to make all the food magically re-appear! TWANKEYS shake their heads Shall we make the food come back.. He and TWANKEY remove PONGO’S helmet. boys and girls! I close my eyes. They look at each other and shake their heads I’m looking forward to this... we’d better get out of here.. mum. ALADDIN has an idea. THE TWANKEYS panic..mouths are still full of marshmallows). ALADDIN and TWANKEY take the donuts and shove them into their (already full) mouths. They actually do a swap and bring out an ‘IDENTICAL’ HEMET WITH A HOLE IN THE TOP which is filled with SHAVING FOAM Right.. here we go. The Emperor’s on his way. They go behind the cart and act as if they are spitting the food into the helmet..say the magic words ‘abracadabra’ and the donuts will disappear. I can’t believe it! I tell you what boys and girls. Right.

Jasmine! Stop lagging behind! PRINCESS JASMINE enters USR JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: Oh... I’d better go. Thank you.... Come along. Exit Widow Twankey downstage right to a massive round of applause. son. brave? No. She totally overacts in a very exaggerated manner and then just as suddenly she stops … five minutes! I’ll see you back at the Laundry. why do you insist on marching everywhere? Emperors are always preceded by mighty armies. I know I just have to believe in myself and something positive will happen.. Father. The EMPEROR enters USR EMPEROR: Left right.. I don’t want to be late for my over-acting class which starts in… TWANKEY looks at her watch. But you haven't got any armies… 18 ..I'd better find somewhere to hide. What... he’s just like his father... drunk! I didn’t know my father. (To the audience) What do you think? Shall I stay and see the Princess? ( audience react) Shall I risk it? (audience react) Right! They're getting close . thank you. left right.TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: Oh. did I? I didn’t know him very well myself! How long were you together? About twenty minutes!… He never even took his hat off… And I was eating chips at the time! Listen. TWANKEY exits DSR ALADDIN: There's got to be more to life than washing other people's sheets. ALADDIN hides at the top of the treads DSL... MUSIC CUE: Gong and Fanfare and marching drums That sounds like the Emperor's procession. left right.

.. a temporary period of financial embarrassment and a transitory phase of economic humiliation. I'm sure there must be a boy somewhere out there who'd love me for who I am and not just because I'm the Princess of China.. MUSIC CUE: Intro Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy ALADDIN: This could be your lucky day.. We’re broke! Alright. Cha-Ching will arrive and if he finds you acceptable then he'll marry you and our money troubles will be over. in two days time.EMPEROR: Yes I have… they’re up my sleevies!! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum tish! JASMINE: EMPEROR: Why don't we stop pretending and let everyone know we're poor? We’re not ‘poor’... the Chinese billionaire. ALADDIN emerges from hiding. Father. you will marry Cha-Ching! But Father Silence! We shall proceed with our Royal procession. (at speed) It’s purely a passing interlude of monetary mortification.. He’s ninety years old.. …And he dribbles when he talks! BUT HE’S VERY RICH! I don't care how rich he is.. I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things We can do the tango just for two I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings 19 . By the left . Father. …Eighty three to be precise… …He weighs four hundred pounds! …A tad over weight perhaps. and if I tell you to marry Cha-Ching. I won’t marry him! Excuse me.. I refuse to marry Cha-Ching!. Miss Impertinence! I may be in somewhat straitened circumstances but I am still The Emperor of China. what's the point?! I'm never allowed to meet anyone of my own age. we’re broke! But not for very much longer.quick march! MUSIC CUE: Fanfare and marching drums The EMPEROR exits DSL JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: Father!… Oh.

hey boy ALADDIN Set my alarm. hey boy Write my letter Feel much better And use my fancy patter on the telephone When I'm not with you I’ll think of you always (They’ll miss those long hot summer nights) When I'm not with you Think of me always Love you . a palace room will do quite nicely Just take me to the takeaway would be fine (Come on and get it) Ooh love. (There he goes again just like a good old-fashioned lover boy) Ooh loverboy What're you doin' tonight.ooh loverboy JASMINE What're you doin' tonight. turn on my charm That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy ENSEMBLE ALADDIN Ooh let me feel your heartbeat (Grow faster. faster) Ooh ooh can you feel my love heat Come on and sit on my hot-seat of love And tell me how do you feel right after-all I'd like for you and I to go romancing Say the word .Be your Valentino just for you JASM/ALADDIN Ooh love .love you Hey boy where do you get it from Hey boy where did you go? I learned my passion in the good old Fashioned school of loverboys They Dance ALADDIN ENSEMBLE ALADDIN JASMINE Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely One two three four five six seven eight nine o' clock I will pay the bill.ooh loverboy What're you doin' tonight.your wish is my command Ooh love . hey boy Everything's all right Just hold on tight That's because I'm a good old-fashioned fashioned lover boy BOTH JASMINE ALADDIN BOTH ENSEMBLE BOTH JASMINE ALADDIN ALL 20 . you taste the wine Driving back in style.

Pongo… do you hear me? Arrest him… PONGO grabs ALADDIN 21 EMPEROR: PONGO: . I couldn’t help but notice that your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts?” MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish EMPEROR: Arrest him.and keep it a secret that you’ve seen me. Really? What's your name? Aladdin.What. I just pulled over a man for speeding.who.. maybe then I’ll be able to ask for your hand in marriage! What nonsense you talk.) . if my father finds out he will have you killed! I’m not scared of your father… ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: EMPEROR (OFF): JASMINE! ALADDIN: It would be worth dying just to know that I’ve spent these few moments in your presence. I said “Sir – I couldn’t help but notice that your eyes are bloodshot.JASMINE: Oh! We can’t talk like this! Don’t you know that it is forbidden to look at me and that by staying here you could be in serious trouble. Why are you telling me this? Because. you must go .. I’m willing to take that risk. Your Highness. Have you been drinking?” What did he say?” “Officer.when. money’s not important to me. I’m one of your loyal subjects. The EMPEROR enters USL EMPEROR: JASMINE! (He spots Aladdin. I might just do lowly jobs at the moment but I'm ambitious and I'm determined to make a success of my life. (looking around) Look.how-…PC Pongo! PC PONGO! PONGO enters Pongo… where have you been? PONGO: Alright I suppose. because when I'm rich.

. not a pauper like you! I may be a pauper now sir but if I need to be a millionaire to marry your daughter. please… MUSIC CUE: Dramatic drum roll Aladdin. this is the Evil Executioner… Nee Hi! Drum roll. sir. Indeed not. Oh.. You will suffer for this… (he calls) CALL FOR THE EVIL EXECUTIONER! CALL FOR THE EVIL EXECUTIONER! JASMINE: ALADDIN: EMPEROR: ALADDIN: EMPEROR: PONGO: ENSEMBLE (OFF): CALL FOR THE EVIL EXECUTIONER! ENSEMBLE (OFF): HERE COMES THE EVIL EXECUTIONER! PONGO: HERE COMES THE EVIL EXECUTIONER! MUSIC CUE: Percussion on footsteps THE SMALLEST JUVENILE with a BIG AXE enters dressed as EXECUTIONER EMPEROR: Ah. he meant me no harm. Aladdin.PONGO: I’m sorry about this. In fact. then I promise you that one day I will be. Nonsense boy. you can’t do this. Then that’s enough for me. do you have any last requests? ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: EMPEROR: JASMINE: Only for the Princess to know that I love her. one day. The impudence of the boy! Father. Aladdin but I hope you appreciate that for perusing the Princess you must pay the perilous penalty of personal palpable pain? Don't be ridiculous. You? Marry my daughter? Jasmine is going to marry a millionaire. I intend to marry your daughter. I forbid it! 22 .. Do you believe in me.. Princess? I believe in you.

She is out of breath and she’s obviously missed her cue TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: STOP!!!!!! (to the audience) I nearly missed that! That could have been a very short show! Hey. The drum roll stops.To Disneyland! Good grief… let me finish! YOU’RE WASTING MY TIME! Off with his head. Everyone looks DSR There is a long. There is a pause. embarrassing pause and it is obvious that somebody should have entered TWANKEY enters DSR. what are you doing with my son? He is about to have his head chopped off. You can’t do that. take me take me take me… Very well… The EXECUTIONER raises his axe TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: (Scampering away SR quickly) . boy? 23 . No. what is your request? Would it be possible for my little boy to have one of his mother’s custard pies? A custard pie? Do you want a custard pie. He’ll have nowhere to keep his hat! Enough of this! Start the proceedings! TWANKEY throws herself at the EMPEROR’S feet in an completely over the top manner TWANKEY: EMPEROR: Oh no. prepare to meet your death! The DRUM ROLL increases the tension THE EVIL EXECUTIONER lifts the AXE. wait… Would you permit a condemned man one last meal? I don’t see why not.. He brings it down on the back of ALADDIN’S neck..EMPEROR: PONGO: Nonsense! Off with his head! Aladdin.

ALADDIN: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: PONGO:

Oh, erm... I’d love a custard pie, sir! Well, I don’t see what damage can be done with a custard pie. Very well. Pongo, get the people from the village to bring it on the custard pie! (he shouts) Could the people from the village bring on the custard pie! MUSIC CUE: ‘YMCA’ play on 4 members of the ENSEMBLE enter DSR. They stand next to TWANKEY. One is wearing an INDIAN CHIEF’S OUTFIT; one is wearing A COWBOY OUTFIT; one is wearing a SAILORS UNIFORM; one is wearing an AMERICAN COP’S UNIFORM. They all have handlebar moustaches! One of them is holding a CUSTARD PIE.

PONGO:

I said the people from the village... not the Village People! Get off! The VILLAGE people look dejected and exit DSR MUSIC CUE: ‘YMCA’ play off

TWANKEY:

Now, boys and girls, if you want to find out what that joke was all about, you need to speak to your favourite Uncle who lives with his special ‘friend’! (to Aladdin) Now, you do want these custard pies, don’t you, son? TWANKEY has CUSTARD PIE

TWANKEY:

ALADDIN: TWANKEY:

Oh, yes please mum! (in a very obvious manner) Now, you won’t move out of the way, will you? Because we don’t want to hit PC Pongo in the face with a custard pie, do we boys and girls? Audience react

TWANKEY:

Shall I? Shall I? Three, two, one ALADDIN ducks as TWANKEY pushes custard pie into PONGO’S face. TWANKEY turns around and kisses the EMPEROR on the cheek and he recoils in horror. Amid the chaos, ALADDIN AND JASMINE make their escape into 24

auditorium… ALADDIN: EMPEROR: Come on, Princess Jasmine! PC Pongo… after them! PONGO blows his whistle and chase begins MUSIC CUE: ‘Misirlou’ (Chase Music) PONGO and EMPEROR chase ALADDIN, JASMINE, TWANKEY, THE VILLAGE PEOPLE (who have come back on) and JUVES around auditorium. The sequence ends with everyone exiting in all directions. ALADDIN and JASMINE return to stage laughing and breathless ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: We seem to have lost them… This is so much fun! We have to be careful though, the guards will be looking for us. But it’s so exciting, I’ve never felt so free! Beat ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: And I’ve never felt so in love. Really, Aladdin? Really, Princess Jasmine. When I woke up this morning I knew this was going to be the most exciting day of my life… And is it? Yes, because today’s the day I finally met the girl of my dreams… (teasing him) And who would that be? (taking hold of Jasmine’s hand) You, of course. Listen, you’d better get back to the Palace. But will I see you again? Oh definitely, but next time you do, I’m going to be rich enough to ask you to marry me. MUSIC CUE: ‘Not Even The King’ – JASMINE You don’t have to change what you are just to please me. I like being with you; I like the way you make me feel about myself. 25

JASMINE:

You wouldn’t have to be rich, Aladdin. Listen... Money... Some people so poor; all that they've got is money... Oh, and diamonds... Some people waste their life counting their thousands... I don't care what they're offering... How much gold they bring. They can't afford what we've got, Not even the king... They can't afford what we've got, Not even the king... Oh, castles... Some people so lonely; what good is a castle Surrounded by people? But ain't got a friend that's not on the payroll... Oh, and I don't care what they bring; They can have everything... They can't afford what we've got, Not even the king... They can't afford what we've got, Not even the king... All the king's horses and all the king's men Came charging to get what we got... They offered the crown and they offered the throne; I already got all that I want... All the king's horses and all the king's men; They came marching through... They offered the world just to have what we got, But I found the world in you... I found the world in you... So darling, listen: Your arms around me worth more than a kingdom... Yeah, believe that The trust that we feel the kings never felt that... Yeah, this is the song we sing... We don't need anything... They can't afford this; This is priceless... Can't afford what we've got, Not even the king... Can't afford what we've got, Not even the king... 26

LX CUE: Blackout FLY CUE: Street Front Cloth In SCENE TWO - THE STREET OF A THOUSAND GOLDFISH LX CUE: Bright state MUSIC CUE: ABANAZAR entrance motif ABANAZAR enters DSL dramatically (carrying an ACTOR’S SUITCASE) ABANAZAR: ‘Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,’ Shakespeare’s Henry V, Act III, Scene I. No please, hold your applause… (Beat. He looks around) Oh, you are! Well, here we are and finally I am within touching distance of the most powerful object in the known universe... The Ancient Lamp of the Orient! MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chord (He gives the band a withering look. He calls) Spirit!... Spirit! SPIRIT enters DSR ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZER: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: Ah, there you are, Spirit. Now, where is this boy, Aladdin? Oh, he lives very close to here in the district of Old Peking known as Wan Long Poo. Wan long Poo? Yes, What a dump! So, this is Cathay is it?

Well it's not Enumclaw. This is the Street of The Thousand Goldfish in the City of Old Peking, oh great Avabanana… My name is Abanazar. Don’t ever call me that. Oh sorry. I am a respected Shakespearian thespian…That name. What name? That name you just called me.

27

He lives with his mother. Are you trying to wind me up? No. I am not called Avabanana. You then do a left and you come to that new Chinese restaurant where they throw the silverware out of the window They throw the silverware out of the window? Yes.... go down the hill.SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: Avabanana? Argggghhh! Right. second on the left and the laundry is just past DQ Is there a DQ in Peking? No but there is a P and a K! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! Enough of this! If you are not careful I will confine you in this ring forever! Now. but if was. lead me to Widow Twankey. you go out of here. Widow Twankey – you can’t miss her.. I AM ABANAZAR! Wait a minute. we have to find the boy Aladdin first. Aren’t you the dude in Preparation H commercial? Silence! So now we’re in Peking. I have established a long and successful career as a respected Shakespearian thespian and parttime criminal mastermind whose name spreads fear and terror throughout the world. second right. first left. 28 SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: . how do I find the lamp? Which lamp? The Ancient Lamp of the Orient! MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chords SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: (indicating the band) Are they going to play that every time I say those words? Which words? The Ancient Lamp of the Ohhhhhh-.. straight over the roundabout and right at the traffic lights. she’s a fat guy in a dress! How do we get to her laundry? Well. you’ll see a fork in the road! You take that. Let’s get this cleared up straight away.. I know where I’d stick the key! Look. (he realizes what she is trying to do) I see what you did there. you tried to get me to say it again.

.. And carry my bags for me! Don’t push your luck… Avabanana! The SPIRIT OF THE RING exits DSL ABANAZAR: So. Avanbana! DON’T CALL ME THAT NAME! Right.... the plan is.? LX CUE: Snap Blackout Not quite that dark and mysterious. Take me there in the blink of an eye. O’ Master. The Ancient Lamp of the Orient! MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chord (to the band) Ahem. charm Widow Twankey. please. persuade Aladdin to go to the cave of jewels and once there. this is my dramatic bit.. you’re giving me a slight migraine.. he will get for me.. OK? The band don’t answer OK? BAND: ABANAZAR: Sorry. enough! Do that again and you’re in serious trouble. (at speed) Go to the laundry. O’ Master.SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR SPIRIT: Yes.. Excuse me. Would you mind not playing that every time I say those words? BAND: ABANAZAR: Which words? The Ancient Lamp of the Orient! MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chords (losing his temper with the band) Enough. He goes down on one knee Could I have the lighting down to a dark and mysterious state. gentlemen.... The lights come up slightly 29 . Yes.

died this morning in the washing machine (audience react)... he returns somewhat sheepishly. You can boo if you like but you’ve seen a lot worse! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! MUSIC CUE: Abanazar’s motif ABANAZAR exits dramatically DSL. he attempts a half-hearted evil laugh Hahahahahahahahahah.. boys and girls.. JASMINE is carrying a BALL OF WASHING 30 . erm.. ha ha.. Still... Oh what’s the point! He exits DSL MUSIC CUE: Abanazar’s evil motif into Twankey’s ‘Dame’ motif FLY CUE: Street Front Cloth Out LX CUE: Bright state for Laundry SCENE THREE . I’ve got some really sad news: Our pet leopard.LX CUE: Mysterious state Thank you… MUSIC CUE: Abanazar underscore My hour of triumph now draws near.. I’ll just get the old suitcase and then we’ll. With Aladdin's help I've nought to fear... Tiddles... After a couple of beats.. picks up the SUITCASE from DSR and returns to DSL. The greatest actor in the Universe..we’ll carry on. mums and dads and alternative family units! Welcome to Widow Twankey’s laundry. keeps me warm from my neck to my knees! Hello. He has forgotten his SUITCASE Erm.WIDOW TWANKEY'S LAUNDRY TWANKEY is found on holding a LARGE PAIR OF KNICKERS TWANKEY: (she sings to the tune of ‘Wouldn’t it be Lovely’ ) All I want are some knickers like these. Just before he exits. He walks across the stage. at least he came out spotless! Enter ALADDIN and PRINCESS JASMINE through door.

Hey. SFX CUE: Door bell ALADDIN: TWANKEY/ JASMINE: How does he do that? She! 31 .ALADDIN: TWANKEY: JASMINE: Hiya gang! (audience react – secret signal) Hello. Oh what a lovely sock! Do you have a match for it? Why? Are you going to set it on fire? MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! TWANKEY JASMINE: Not much of a laugh for that one. seeing as I’m here. I promise I won’t let that happen. he’ll have us all killed. I thought you could do my laundry for me. Across the nose… (backbeat stops) smells like a rose! There is a pause TWANKEY: Ah. She pulls out a colorful sock TWANKEY: JASMINE: Of course. to wash your socks. Oh. dear. ALADDIN and JASMINE dance in a comedically cool way TWANKEY: Into the water. Up to the light. there goes the doorbell. JASMINE hands TWANKEY a basket of laundry. Widow Twankey. what are you doing with the Princess Jasmine? If the Emperor finds out. here’s what we need to do… Hit it! MUSIC CUE: Rap-style backbeat TWANKEY puts the socks into a LARGE BOWL (already set) TWANKEY start to rap. Oh what a lovely sock! Do you have a match for it? Why? Are you going to set it on fire? MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! TWANKEY shakes out the socks TWANKEY: Right.. out of the water. dear.. son. nice and bright. by the way. Let’s try it again.

have we. You love me for who I am. ALADDIN takes JASMINE by the hand ALADDIN: JASMINE: Princess Jasmine. Princess.. you hide in the laundry basket. I promise you that. we haven’t seen her. we’ve had a phone call from one of your customers making a complaint about this laundry… A Miss So-Shy from Shelton.. soon. Don’t worry. I’m not ashamed now. Miss So-Shy.ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: Sorry… she! (looking through the door) It’s PC Pongo! (to the Princess) He’d better not find us together.. seeing as I’m here. Aladdin. do you have any idea of her proximity? (in a very obvious manner) No. She said she’s a shirt short? TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: 32 . Widow Twankey.. not what I am and that means more to me than all the money in the world… (interrupting them) HURRY UP! Oh. Aladdin. TWANKEY goes to the door Come in. Miss So-Shy from Shelton? Yes. you get in the Tumbly drier. boys and girls? (examining his notepad) Well. the seashell shifter from Shelton? What did she say? She said she’s a shirt short. she’s a seashell shifter. son. PC PONGO enters through door (with BASKET of WASHING) TWANKEY: PONGO: Ah. I’ll have enough money that you won’t be ashamed to be seen with me. I am in search of the Princess who was last seen promenading in your son’s presence. don’t they go on… TWANKEY helps PRINCESS into TUMBLE DRIER and ALADDIN hides in the LAUNDRY BASKET.

Music stops TWANKEY: What are they? 33 . She waits for the applause What did you tell her? PONGO: I told her she’d got the wrong number! They both laugh Here. shocked and shattered that she’s a short chiffon shirt short and she can’t seem to sleep a peep since she’s short of a sheepskin sheet. Let me get this straight… Good luck! Thank you! Miss So-Shy the seashell shifter from Shelton is shaken. (cod crackup etc. shocked and shattered that she’s a shirt short. A sheepskin sheet? Is there such a thing as a sheepskin sheet? Yes. will you wash these for me? MUSIC CUE: Theme from Rocky LX CUE: Boxing match TWO MALE ENSEMBLE wearing SHORTS and BOXING GLOVES jump on DSR and begin boxing. shocked and shattered that she’s a shirt short. She’s shaken. What sort of shirt is Miss So-Shy from Shelton short of? A short chiffon shirt! Miss So-Shy said she’s short of a short chiffon shirt? Yes and a sheepskin sheet.) A Sheeps…that’s not in the script! A sheepskin sheet. Miss So-Shy said she can’t seem to sleep a peep since she’s short of a sheepskin sheet.PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY PONGO TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: She said she’s shaken. Twankey.

Cal. I’d love to be in Aladdin’s gang. what have we got here? TWANKEY pulls out a LARGE VEST PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: Oh.. in you get! (She pushes the BOXERS towards the WASHING MACHINE) He’s got a lot of make-up on for a boxer! (grabbing one of the BOXERS and helping him into the machine) This is Cal.PONGO: A pair of boxers! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! This is very subtle stuff. Cal… in you go... if you’re doing my boxers you might as well do my other laundry… He hands her A BALL of WASHING PONGO: TWANKEY: (sarcastically) Oh. you’re very funny! (looking into the audience) If only the people of Federal Way agreed! You see... Widow Twankey. WIDOW TWANKEY does it back at him MUSIC CUE: Cow Bell 34 . Right. I put it over their heads and say ‘You’re under a vest!’ MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! TWANKEY/PONGO: Under a vest!. that’s what I catch criminals with. Boxers gets into the WASHING Machine Cal is in the washing machine and he’s totally disappeared… We like to put him in there because… ‘washing machines last longer with Cal gone!’ I thank you! Actually. can I let you into a secret? I don’t like working for the Emperor. in fact.. I’ve even learned the secret signal! He does the secret signal. ladies and gentlemen! TWANKEY: Come on you two. Ladies and Gentlemen… go on. Beat TWANKEY: PONGO: Pongo. That’s what you catch criminals with? Yes. deep joy….

he’s in your gang now but I’ve just put him through the mangle. Here.TWANKEY: Brilliant! Boys and girls. Across the nose… (backbeat stops) smells like a rose! And now we need to put the vest through the mangle… I tell you what. maybe we can puff him up. not only is he in my gang. ALADDIN grabs it and comes downstage ALADDIN: TWANKEY: JASMINE: TWANKEY: JASMINE: TWANKEY: Look at that. there goes the doorbell… 35 .. (putting the cut out in the washing machine) Puff him up? Yes. it’s getting very hot in there. Hiya gang! (secret signal) MUSIC CUE: Cow bell (running to Jasmine) Princess. PC Pongo’s in the gang! (audience react) Now. he’s now my flatmate! I always said he wasn’t ‘cut out’ to be a policeman! Are we facing the right way? Lets put him in the washing machine. out of the water. JASMINE immediately re-enters through the TUMBLE DRIER and ALADDIN comes out of the BASKET JASMINE: ALADDIN: Widow Twankey. PONGO dances in a comedically cool way TWANKEY: Into the water. Up to the light. seeing as you’re in the gang. I’m saying nothing! Oh. nice and bright. Where’s Pongo? It’s alright. you look like you need a bit of mangling yourself ( giving him the VEST). I’ll wash your vest for you… this is what we have to do. She helps PONGO through the mangle. are you OK? JASMINE: TWANKEY: I’m fine. watch this… She turns the handle and a FLAT PONGO (LARGE PHOTOGRAPH OF PONGO) comes out of the mangle.. As she does so. Aladdin. Hold that and get through there. hit it! TWANKEY puts the vest into the LARGE BOWL MUSIC CUE: Rap-style backbeat TWANKEY raps.

. MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! Still. was last seen in your son’s presence? Have you seen them? (in a very obvious manner) No. at least it’s not the Captain’s log! Right. she! (looking through the door). Princess. Oh. back in the tumbly drier. My daughter... It’s the Emperor! Quick. there you are. Aladdin. have we boys and girls? (audience react) (Handing TWANKEY A BASKET OF WASHING ) Well. those are my Y Fronts. ALADDIN rushes back into the BASKET Come in! EMPEROR enters just as the others disappear EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: Ah. we haven’t seen them. Widow Twankey. (he shows them the audience) Look at the state of those… (TWANKEY smells them and they obviously don’t smell too good. lovely.. Funny that… What have you got for me? TWANKEY pulls out a LARGE PAIR OF Y-FRONTS – they are very dirty! EMPEROR: TWANKEY: Ah. the Princess. TWANKEY comedically retches…) You’re not a Star Trek fan. seeing as I’m here. here we go… She puts the pants into the bowl and starts to rap. back in the basket! JASMINE quickly exits into TUMBLE DRIER. The EMPEROR dances in a comedically cool way 36 EMPEROR: TWANKEY: .SFX: Doorbell ALADDIN: TWANKEY/ JASMINE: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: How does he do that? She! Sorry. are you? Why? I think you’ve got a couple of Klingons!. you can do my laundry for me.

This will have to be my finest performance to date! Behold! T’is the east..MUSIC CUE: Rap style back beat (raps) Into the water. why don’t you just get in yourself… Oh. Across the nose… (backbeat stops) They obviously aren’t clean! She immediately raps again: (backbeat starts again) Into the water … out of the water… (backbeat stops again) TWANKEY: Let’s forget that. that I might touch that cheek! TWANKEY scratches her bottom MUSIC CUE: Scratching Urggghhh! Now to use my charm. I tell you what. nice and bright.. TWANKEY MACHINE TWANKEY: helps the EMPEROR into WASHING EMPEROR: So that’s Aladdin in the smelly sox box. and Pongo. Look. and Widow Twankey is the sun. to save time. Widow Twankey. (TWANKEY wipes her cheek) See. out of the water.. the Princess in the tumbly drier. (He notices Twankey) Arghhhhh! Look at the state of that. very well. ABANAZAR gooses WIDOW TWANKEY MUSIC CUE: Honk 37 .. MUSIC CUE: Abanazar entrance motif ABANAZAR enters USR (through door) ABANAZAR: At last .Widow Twankey's laundry! To get Aladdin on my side I'll need his mother’s help. I do miss my days touring with the Pussycat Dolls! Life was so much simpler then… WIDOW TWANKEY bends over with her bottom facing the audience and busies herself with A BASKET OF WASHING. I think the best thing is if we put all your clothes in the washing machine. how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O’ that I were a glove upon that hand. Up to the light. the Emperor and the boxers in the washing machine… Oh.

Widow Twankey He goes down on one knee. (From his sleeve he produces A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS) Pour toi! How touching. milkman. Spanaway? No! Egypt! You must know.TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: Three pints please. You want?.. I'm not surprised! I have travelled from a far-off land of mystery and romance… Not. it’s me… You must know. If you want I can be ‘weally weally wooed!’ I have something very important to ask you... I want. grabs Twankey’s hand..... No. TWANKEY stands up and ABANAZAR tries to get some life back into his leg 38 . [She turns around and sees ABANAZAR] Arghh! Avabanana! Don’t call me that name! Allow me to introduce myself.. Widow Twankey.. (to the audience) All legitimate offers considered!. I want you to get off my leg... rolls her in and sits her on his knee TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: You don’t mean… I might… You can’t… I can… I don’t… You do… But why… I will… You won’t. that I am strangely attracted to you. T’is I… Abanazar – all powerful supreme sorcerer and parttime thespian. Widow Twankey… I do know her. Do you like to be wooed? I love to be ‘wooed’. I haven't been so touched in years.. ma'am: T’is I… Hello Mr T’is I.

. I had hoped to repay some money he lent me… (grabbing the money-bag) Now you come to mention it. yes I had heard that now is the winter of their discount tents! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-ba-dum-ba dum. Oh. tubby. Just the one? No. Madame. JASMINE enters from TUMBLE DRIER. do you really find me attractive?… You don’t think I’m too tubby? Tubby? Yes. I'd forgotten that pajama party in Puyallup! They go to kiss… as they do. you do look familiar! (grabbing TWANKEY) Widow Twankey. Cabella’s has a half-price sale on all their camping equipment. Tubby or not tubby? Fat is the question! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! They get worse… Tell me. ALADDIN enters from BASKET 39 .. have you loved many men in your life? Oh no. just the one.TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: (to Abanazar) Tell me. do you have a son. would you like to join me for dinner this evening? TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: I can’t this evening. Aladdin? TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: I do. Why do you ask? Because I am his long-lost uncle! Do you not see the likeness between your late husband and myself? I'm afraid not! ABANAZAR produces a money-bag and jingles the coins ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: Ahh… what a pity.tish! You were warned! Widow Twankey. I tell a lie – forty seven.

I am here to make you rich. I have travelled far in search of you. this is your long-lost uncle! I didn’t know I had an Uncle Avabanana! Don’t call me that name! No. The others gather around ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: Ah. JASMIME and TWANKEY do it in return MUSIC CUE: Cow Bell ALADDIN: Pongo’s in the gang! They all cheer TWANKEY: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN/ TWANKEY/ PONGO/ JASMINE: TWANKEY: Aladdin. this is Aladdin and this is… ABANAZAR pushes PONGO and JASMINE out of the way. son. my dear nephew.ALADDIN: Hiya gang!… (Audience react – secret signal) MUSIC CUE: Cow Bell JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE/ ALADDIN: TWANKEY: Aladdin! Jasmine! PONGO enters from WASHING MACINE Pongo! It’s alright… remember. Aladdin. Rich? That's wonderful! What do I have to do? High in the mountains above Peking there is a cave full of golden 40 . he’s in the gang! PONGO does the SECRET SIGN and the ALADDIN. He puts his arm around ALADDIN and brings him CS. this is your Uncle Ebeneezer! Abanazar! } Bless you! This is PC Pongo.

Jasmine! (to Abanazar) Most definitely. LX CUE: restore ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: PONGO: JASMINE ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: PONGO: JASMINE: } I'll be there. Aladdin? Are you up for the challenge? ALADDIN: (to Jasmine) I’ll do it for you. for another ten bucks a week. 41 .jewels and precious stones… a secret cave known only to me . sir. we could have had Bob Barnett! Isn’t it wonderful? This could be my one chance of proving to your father that I’m worthy of you. that I shall say good night till it be morrow. MUSIC CUE: Dramatic underscore LX CUE: Darkens to a mysterious state ABANAZAR: Then an hour before daybreak.I will take you there and you will achieve great wealth. leave the city by the Great Gate. take the treacherous path to the peak of Hell Mountain and I shall meet you on the edge of the yawning chasm known as… ‘THE VALLEY OF DEATH!’ Music stops PONGO: ABANAZAR: Is that the one opposite McDonalds? That’s the one. What do you say. Uncle Abercrombie! Abanazar! } Bless you! Until tomorrow… (hammy) ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow.’ } Get off! } } MUSIC CUE: Abanazar exit motif ABANAZAR exits through door JASMINE: PONGO: ALADDIN: I’m not sure about him. Me neither.

ALADDIN. WELL YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE I'M GONNA BE THE SCRUBBER SCRUBBING NEXT TO YOU BUT I WILL WALK 500 MILES AND I WILL WASH 500 PANTS WANNA BE THE ONE WHO IRONS A THOUSAND SHIRTS AND SOCKS AND VESTS AND PANTS 42 PONGO: JASMINE: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALL: . 500 miles? How are you going to travel 500 miles? I’m going to walk. WELL YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE I'M GONNA BE YOUR SON WHO’S IRONING NEXT TO YOU (at the MANGLE) WHEN YOU’RE MANGLING. Princess. Oh. PONGO. HEY. JASMINE and ENSEMBLE TWANKEY: JASMINE: PONGO/ ALADDIN: ALADDIN: (over intro) Well. you’ve got to go to the peak of Hell Mountain.JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: TWANKEY/ PONGO: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: JASMINE: ALADDIN: PONGO: You are worthy of me. Aladdin. lordy! Come on. Aladdin. boys?… YES! (he sings) WHEN YOU’RE IRONING. Well don’t worry about that Widow Twankey. You’re going to walk 500 miles? I’m going to walk 500 miles! Can you see where this is leading. Oh. Aladdin. YEAH YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE I'M GONNA BE THE ONE WHO’S MANGLING NEXT TO YOU AND IF YOU’RE FOLDING. boys and girls? MUSIC CUE: ‘500 miles’ TWANKEY. won’t we. how far is it? About 500 miles. By the way. we’ll help you. Oh. YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE I'M GONNA BE THE ONE WHO'S FOLDING NEXT TO YOU IF I’M SCRUBBING. I’ve got about 500 sheets to iron here.

ALADDIN: WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE I'M GONNA BE THE SON WHO COMES BACK HOME TO YOU I'M GONNA BE THE SON WHO’S COMING HOME TO YOU BUT I WILL WALK 500 MILES AND I WILL WASH 500 PANTS ALADDIN: TWANKEY: TWANKEY/ PONGO/ ALADDIN/JASMINE: WANNA BE THE ONE WHO IRONS A THOUSAND SHIRTS AND SOCKS AND VESTS AND PANTS During the instrumental break. PONGO stops the beatboxing but the sound continues The ENSEMBLE do a STOMP-STYLE tap dance which develops using the METAL BUCKETS ALL: DA DA DA (DA DA DA) 43 .ENSEMBLE enter from both sides with IRONING BOARDS and IRONS JUVES enter with BUCKETS and SCRUBBING BRUSHES ALL: DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) PONGO: Hey Widow Twankey. we’ve got all the happy. smiling villagers who sing and dance for no apparent reason to help us. PONGO brings on a MICROPHONE and does BEAT BOX SFX CUE: Beat Box JASMINE brings on the end of the MICROPHONE LEAD which obviously isn’t plugged in. come on guys! AND IF I’M CLEANING. WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE I'M GONNA BE THE MUM WHO'S CLEANING PANTS FOR YOU WHEN I COME HOME TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY/ PONGO/JASMINE: (WHEN YOU COME HOME)...

.. You’ve handed in your notice at the Helium factory? Yeah.. there you are. Spirit. once I’ve found that. blow and crack thy cheeks! King Lear. There is a LARGE BOULDER (centre of the cloth) ABANAZAR: Boulder! 44 .DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) DA DA DA (DA DA DA) ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALL: BUT I WILL WALK 500 MILES AND I WILL WASH 500 PANTS WANNA BE THE ONE WHO IRONS A THOUSAND SHIRTS AND SOCKS AND VESTS AND BRAS AND PANTS LX CUE: Fade to black FLY CUE: ‘Mysterious Mountain’ front cloth in SCENE FOUR – IN THE MIDST OF THE MYSTERIOUS MOUNTAINS MUSIC CUE: Abanazar’s evil motif SFX: Howling wind ABANAZAR is found on CS. the lamp will be mine. ABANAZAR: Hahahahahah! Blow wind. SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSR Ah. Scene II… not just a pantomime but also an education! Here we are on Hell Mountain and all I have to do is find the Cave of Jewels. Act III.. where have you been? SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: I’ve just handed in my notice at the Helium factory. I’m not having them talk to me like that! Stop doing these ridiculous jokes! Now where is this Cave of Jewels? It’s just behind that rock.

tiger. here comes Aladdin now. the cave will be sealed forever! Thirty seconds. so close and yet so far! Do I really need the boy to get the lamp for me? Yes. This boulder conceals the entrance to a cave full of jewels. right! Ah. and remember that once the cave is open. He is jogging and out of breath Is this a jogger I see before me? ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: Phew. that was quite a climb (spotting the SPIRIT) Just a minute. call me sir. where did you come from? Just behind that rock.SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: SPIRIT: (Boldly) IT’S JUST BEHIND THAT ROCK! (approaching the boulder) Ah. what’s in it for you? 45 .. Aladdin.. Boulder! (Boldly) JUST BEHIND THAT ROCK! (to the audience) It gets funnier the more times you say it! You may leave us now. Spirit. Go on. A Spirit? A term of affection. Do not call me ‘tiger’. jewels to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams! That sounds brilliant… Just a minute. my boy. Sir Idiot! SPIRIT exits DSR ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: (looking around) Is this it. Uncle? I can’t see any treasure. Pardon? Call me sir. Eh? CALL ME SIR. IDIOT! Alright. He seems to have run all the way up the mountain… ALADDIN enters SR. he only has thirty seconds to retrieve it! Once the time is up.. get off! Mm? GET OFF! Alright. easy. that’s all..

take it... she’s got me doing it now! Right.it's just tacky theatrical diamante. He hands Aladdin the ring ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: Thanks.ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: There is something rather special inside this cave.. so. t’is the cause.Abracadee! The magic words are… Open Sesame! LX CUE: Lightening Flicker SFX CUE: Thunder and boulder moving SMOKE CUE: Smoke from behind the cloth 46 . Uncle . Stand back boy… What are you doing... which you alone can get for me – something very close to my heart! Your pancreas? No! (nonchalantly) No. you silly boy .. move that rock.. Now boy. either you give me that ring.. Uncle.. or the lamp stays where it is! (Aside) I can’t bear to part with the ring but I must have that lamp! (hammy) T’is the cause. it’s a lamp. (he tries to move the rock) It's no use. get it for me and all the jewels shall be yours. Boulder! (boldly) MOVE THAT ROCK!. Bah. Uncle? There's no use being a wizard if you don't have the occasional ‘wiz’! Abracadabra .. my soul. What do you mean? Well I quite like that ring you're wearing. But it would make a wonderful present for Princess Jasmine. You don't want this. just an old lamp. (to Aladdin) Oh very well.I can't shift it. How can I be sure you won't trick me? I need a sign of your good faith...

.. very quick…. Right.. Uncle. dear boy.. tie this rope around you and I will hold the other end.. but it looks pretty scary in there. in and out within thirty seconds.the jewels within this cave will make you rich! Rich enough to marry the Princess Jasmine.The BOULDER moves LXCUE: Mysterious light from behind cloth ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: That’s very impressive. Look. Nonsense. t’is but a cave! You will be perfectly safe as long as you are quick. in fact. 47 ABANAZAR: .. Uncle (To the audience) Shall I trust him? (audience react) Shall I go into the cave? (audience react) (To the audience) Silence! Remember. ABANAZAR ties the other end around himself ALADDIN: Wish me luck... ALADDIN ties ROPE around himself and goes into the cave. I'm in! MUSIC CUE: Swannee Whistle going in the cave ABANAZAR: He's in! He's in! ALADDIN jumps out again MUSIC CUE: Swannee Whistle ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: I'm out! I'm out! Get in the cave! ALADDIN exits MUSIC CUE: Swannee Whistle ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: I'm in again! He's in again! ALADDIN comes out again MUSIC CUE: Swannee Whistle ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: I'm out again! He's out again! I'm not sure I can trust you. Aladdin .

.. FIND ME THE LAMP! ALADDIN: (To the audience) Boys and girls.) ALADDIN: Uncle?.. the rock is sealing the cave..ALADDIN: You’re right. Uncle!.there's nothing here........ No. which. there’s no time for that. once he's found the lamp. uncle? ABANAZAR (off): The lamp. no lamp.. A shaft of light highlights Aladdin as he descends SFX CUE: Cave ambience (dripping water etc... LX CUE: Dark Cave state...... No jewels... I can’t see a thing. no nothing… ABANAZAR(off): You only have thirty seconds. I need the lamp. the lamp! You stupid boy you will be locked in there forever!!! SFX: There is a long echo on ‘forever’ 48 . ABANAZAR (off): You stupid boy. don’t let go of that rope will you. I’m coming out. should I get him the lamp? (audience react) Should I?… They say not to Uncle. boy! Can you see the lamp? ALADDIN: It's no use... SFX: Thunder and the sound of a large moving boulder LX CUE: Flicker No!.. Uncle .. no. I'll do it for her! ALADDIN disappears into the cave LX CUE: Reduce to just Abanazar MUSIC CUE: Abanazar underscoring ABANAZAR: Hahahahaha! Look like the innocent flower. will also be his grave! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! MUSIC CUE: Evil motif into held note for Aladdin entrance FLY CUE: ‘Mysterious Mountain’ cloth out LX CUE: Fade to black SCENE FIVE – INSIDE THE CAVE ALADDIN is seen dropping in the last few feet on a ROPE.Aladdin’s in the cave.. but be the serpent under 't! At last! At last.

.... I can’t be locked in here.LX CUE: The light in the cave is reduced ALADDIN: Uncle.. You’re really a Genie? Right on dude! You’ve just released the coolest Genie in the world! I’ve been stuck in that thing since the most fashionable decade in history. If only there was a ray of light so I could see what I was doing…. flares. large collar. I’m saying. medallion and a GOLDEN SUIT) GENIE: Heyyyyyyyyyyyy! Wow. let me hear the ladies scream… (ladies scream louder). guys? (audience react) What should I do? (audience react) Rub it? Well. ‘wow’. He has a BIG personality! He is dressed in 1970’s outfit (Afro.. it is cramped in that thing… (He indicates the lamp) It ain’t no tardis. let me out!. Uncle? UNCLE?! It’s no good. PYRO CUE: DSR MUSIC CUE: ‘Mr Gee’ play on (‘You sexy thing’) The GENIE OF THE LAMP appears SR. he’s gone. What should I do with it. MUSIC CUE: ‘Ting’ LX CUE: A shaft of light hits the LAMP ALADDIN: That’s convenient!... (he picks it up) It’s very rusty.. He rubs the lamp. that must be the lamp that Abanazar was talking about.. shades. I’ll give it a go... Now I’m trapped and I’ll never see Princess Jasmine again. dude? Who are you? Some people call me the Genie of the Lamp but my friends call me ‘Mr Gee!’ Does that stand for Genie? No. (he sees the lamp) Hey. the Seventies! ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: 49 . It doesn’t look that special to me. it looks like it needs a good clean. it stands for ‘Gorgeous’! (he licks his finger and touches his butt… he is hot!) Tssssttttttt! I think the ladies know what I’m saying… Let me hear the ladies scream (ladies scream)… I said. you know what I’m saying.

You’re looking pretty fine yourself. my friend (he indicates for the audience to tell ALADDIN what to do) What should he do?… AUDIENCE shout ALADDIN: What?. dude. there ain’t no room to dance in there… And ladies.ALADDIN: GENIE: The Seventies? Yes. it’s you! You serve me?… Yeah. I’m the Genie of the Lava Lamp! Let me tell you. He ends on an impressive disco pose.. and by the look of it. Mr.in this case. that ring you’re wearing has the Spirit in it. The Spirit of the Ring? Yeah. you also got the Spirit of the Ring. ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: That’s all very impressive but what do you do exactly? What? Apart from having the coolest ‘fro in the world? Yes. Well I serve ‘whoever owns the lamp’ . I haven’t seen her in a thousand years…. Oh… He rubs the ring PYRO CUE: SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSL SPIRIT: GENIE: SPIRIT: Your wish is my command O’ Master… Mister Gee! Wassup dude? Bam! What it is! What it is! You scrub up pretty good baby. apart from having the coolest ‘fro in the world. Mr Gee loves to dance!.. Gee! 50 ... But how do I get her out? Same way you got me. Let’s boogie on down! MUSIC CUE: Disco beat The band plays 8 bars of disco music and the GENIE shows us his moves.

my friend… As well as being the most handsome man in the universe (he licks his finger and touches his backside – he is hotter!) Sssssst! Owww…. Aladdin..ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALADDIN: Ahem… Oh. And there’s another thing. I promise I’ll help you. Can you make me rich? You don’t have to waste a wish on that... The jewels of this cave already belong to you.. if you two help me.. you see. my friend. dude. use them wisely.. SPIRIT. Can you get me out of this cave and take me back to Old Peking? You’re in luck.. Jewels? I can't see any jewels. Aladdin.. What would you wish for? I think we’d probably ask for our freedom. But remember Aladdin.Well. Three wishes?.... MUSIC CUE: ‘Price Tag’– GENIE. Princess Jasmine loves you for who you are.. Oh.. could you cut to the chase... the fro’ is starting to wilt. Peking is not a problem. but let’s be honest. (He gabbles at speed) I’m in love with a Princess and I think she loves me too but her father. ENSEMBLE The ENSEMBLE enter carrying JEWELLED BOXES.(to Aladdin) Mr Gee is the most powerful spirit of all... they parade around ALADDIN GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALADDIN: GENIE: (over intro) You mean I’m rich? Beyond your wildest dreams. doesn’t like me because I’m just a poor laundry boy so it would really help if I could have a little bit of money. who’d waste one of their wishes on a couple of Genies? Well. it’s not all about material possessions. that’s wonderful... dude. Confined within this cavern is a wealth of precious jewels.. sorry… You have three wishes. erm.. first wish. woah. ALADDIN... not what you are… it’s what’s on the inside that counts… let’s get down… SEEMS LIKE EVERYBODY'S GOT A PRICE 51 GENIE: . Woah. Right.. the Emperor. woah.

MONEY. MONEY WE JUST WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG 52 GENIE: SPIRIT: BOTH: ALADDIN: BOTH: ALL: . (indicating the Spirit) SHE’LL ESCAPE THE RING SO BRING BACK THE BEAT AND THEN EVERYBODY SING… LX CUE: restore ALL: IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. KEEP THE PRICE TAG AND TAKE THE CASH BACK HEAR THE LADIES SCREAM AT MY SIX PACK (TAKE A) MAGIC CARPET RIDE WHERE I’M YOUR GUIDE GROW A GREAT BIG FRO SO YOU CAN BE MY BRO (AND GUESS WHAT). YEAH. MONEY WE JUST WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG AIN'T ABOUT THE… CHA-CHING. MONEY. ALADDIN exits) GENIE: (RAPS) YEAH. WELL. CHA-CHING AIN'T ABOUT THE… BA-BLING.I WONDER HOW THEY SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN THE SALE COMES FIRST AND THE TRUTH COMES SECOND JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE AND SMILE SPIRIT: WHY IS EVERYBODY SO SERIOUS? ACTING ALL SO MYSTERIOUS CAN WE ALL SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY RIGHT NOW GUARANTEE WE'LL BE FEELIN' ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LOOK TO THEIR LEFT EVERYBODY LOOK TO THEIR RIGHT CAN YOU FEEL THAT? YEAH WE'LL PAY THEM WITH LOVE TONIGHT IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. MONEY. MONEY WE DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY. IN 30 SECONDS WE’RE GO TO PEKING YOU’LL SEE THE PRINCESS. MONEY WE DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY. BA-BLING WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG LX CUE: Down to a spot on GENIE (As the focus is on the GENIE. MONEY. AND SHOW HER YOUR BLING I’LL ESCAPE THE LAMP.

BA-BLING WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG GENIE: (spoken) All this wealth cannot buy you happiness but if you think it will help you on your path. Aladdin but remember one very important thing… IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. there is an old seventies expression… ‘You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet!’… Behold… As the MUSIC BUILDS.AIN'T ABOUT THE CHA-CHING. this is the moment. MONEY WE DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY.THE JEWELLED GARDEN GENIE: (spoken) And now Aladdin. MONEY. CHA-CHING AIN'T ABOUT THE BA-BLING. DRUM ROLL ALADDIN appears upstage in Jewelled Costume. MONEY WE JUST WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG AIN'T ABOUT THE CHA-CHING. BA-BLING WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG END OF ACT ONE 53 .. CHA-CHING AIN'T ABOUT THE BA-BLING. Everyone cheers ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALL: Is all this really mine? It’s all yours. the ENSEMBLE turn the PERIACTOIDS and the set transforms into THE JEWLELLED GARDEN SCENE SIX .. MONEY. It is time to turn your rags into riches. He comes DS.

They sing through the song getting the children to do the animal noises SPIRIT brings on GOODY BAGS and the children leave the stage ALADDIN and PONGO sings one more time with the audience and exit DSL and DSR 54 . Oh you don’t know the words yet do you. They then read out Parties and Birthdays MUSIC CUE: Happy Birthday PONGO: Now.. Take it away Uncle David. ALADDIN and PONGO chat to them. Kids in audience have had a lottery when they enter. FOUR CHILDREN come up on stage. we do have some people to say hello to. gang! (audience react – secret signal) Well. Now then. here’s a song that you can all join in with.. do you fancy a sing song? (audience react) I said. MUSIC CUE: ‘Old McDonald’s Farm’ – ALADDIN and PONGO ALADDIN and PONGO sing song and gets audience join in. do you fancy a sing-song? (audience react) Go on then!.. Numbers are drawn and six kids come up onstage.. eh? I’m going to marry the Princess and Mom’s going to marry the Emperor.ACT TWO “PRE ENTR’ACTE”-KIDS ONSTAGE ALADDIN steps forward as cloth flies in behind. Well. what about that for a story. ALADDIN: Hiya. and to help me do that please give a great big cheer and a great big round of applause to the one and only… PC Pongo! PONGO enters DSL PONGO and ALADDIN do secret signal.

I’m talking seriously loaded.. Aladdin has released us from the Lamp and Ring to announce his arrival back in Old Peking. a joyous rally.. ENSEMBLE and JUVES. thank you! You’re so sincere… and so spontaneous! Now. GENIE: SPIRIT: GENIE (over intro) Is this the bit where we sing? This is the bit where we sing… I’ve been looking forward to this… Ladies and Gentlemen… boys and girls…. that all the kids AND moms and dads should give us a great big cheer! (The audience react) What do you think. This guy is rich now. 55 .and Mr Gee loves it when the ladies scream… (if a lady screams) Wait for it! Shall we do it again? I think we should (to MD) One more time with feeling… MUSIC CUE: Gene Genie They exit DSL and DSR and come back on again to huge cheers GENIE: SPIRIT: GENIE: SPIRIT Thank you. As we welcome the one and only… Prince Ali! MUSIC CUE: ‘Prince Ali’ – GENIE. Yeah.ENTR’ACTE: MUSIC CUE: Entr’acte ending with Genie and Spirit’s play on PYRO CUE: DSL and DSR Enter GENIE OF THE LAMP DSR and the SPIRIT OF THE RING DSL SPIRIT: OK just a minute … just a minute… it’s usual when Genies appear. Mr Gee? GENIE: SPIRIT: GENIE: I think there were a couple of ladies not screaming . SPIRIT. Let’s start the procession.

TRY YOUR BEST TO STAY CALM BRUSH UP YOUR SUNDAY SALAAM THEN COME AND MEET HIS SPECTACULAR COTERIE PRINCE ALI! MIGHTY IS HE! ALI ABABWA STRONG AS TEN REGULAR MEN. PARASOLS and RIBBONS.SCENE SEVEN – THE MARKET PLACE IN OLD PEKING ENSEMBLE. As soon as they leave the stage they go back to the other side and start again ALL: SPIRIT: GENIE: SPIRIT: GENIE: SPIRIT: BOTH: GENIE: SPIRIT: MAKE WAY FOR PRINCE ALI SAY HEY! IT'S PRINCE ALI HEY! CLEAR THE WAY IN THE OLD BAZAAR HEY YOU! LET US THROUGH! IT'S A BRIGHT NEW STAR! OH COME! BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO MEET HIS EYE! MAKE WAY! HERE HE COMES! RING BELLS! BANG THE DRUMS! ARE YOU GONNA LOVE THIS GUY! PRINCE ALI! FABULOUS HE! ALI ABABWA GENUFLECT. SHOW SOME RESPECT DOWN ON ONE KNEE! NOW. They dance in a long. never ending procession. DEFINITELY! HE FACED THE GALLOPING HORDES A HUNDRED BAD GUYS WITH SWORDS WHO SENT THOSE GOONS TO THEIR LORDS? WHY. JUVES enter with BANNERS. PRINCE ALI Drum break with Chinese cymbols GENIE: SPIRIT: GENIE: SPIRIT: PRINCE ALI! HANDSOME IS HE. PONGO enters DSR 56 GENIE: SPIRIT: ALL . GET ON OUT IN THAT SQUARE ADJUST YOUR VEIL AND PREPARE TO GAWK AND GROVEL AND STARE AT PRINCE ALI! TWO GENIES exit USL and USR Music vamps TWANKEY enters DSL. ALI ABABWA THAT PHYSIQUE! HOW CAN I SPEAK WEAK AT THE KNEE WELL.

asked me what had happened exactly. Well. Well. the curtain came in and everybody bought some ice cream apart from the dads who went to the bar to get drunk and they all said isn’t Widow Twankey wonderful and isn’t the young lad playing Pongo extremely talented. is he really? Yes he is. then you entered downstage left. I said what happened exactly? You said yes. he said I’m out I’m out. well there’s a surprise.. What happened exactly? You want to know what happened exactly? Yes.. they sang another song. he’s from St Albans apparently. here he comes now. he said I’m in I’m in. Widow Twankey. I want to know what happened exactly. what happened exactly. Uncle Avabanana made him go in the cave and locked him in there and it was pitch black and he couldn’t see a thing apart from a rusty old lamp but he didn’t know what to do with it but the audience who were very clever or had just seen this before said rub it he said what they said rub it he said what they said rub so he did and puff out popped a Genie called Mr Gee who makes all the ladies scream at him like this ‘arggggggg!’ Mr Gee and The Spirit of the Ring said you’re going to be rich and then they burst into song which they seem to do a lot lately. 57 .. what’s going on? You won’t believe this. Pongo. and I started talking like this! Applause TWANKEY: PONGO: Pardon? I don’t believe Aladdin’s rich. ENSEMBLE freeze MUSIC CUE: Vamp stops LX CUE: ‘Freeze’ (PONGO talks very quickly without pausing for breath) … He met his Uncle Aberystwyth at the peak of Hell Mountain and he made him get into the cave he said I’m in I’m in...Aladdin’s back and he's rolling in it! Rolling in it? Urrgggh!! No! He's rolling in money! He just told me all about it.. he said I’m out I’m out. he’ll prove it himself. Then everyone came back to their seats.TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: Here. the curtain went up.

TWANKEY. son. He passes the ring to PONGO PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: Hey.. HIS COOKS. we can take this to Cash for Gold! No. wait… it’s got an inscription on it. ENSEMBLE and AUDIENCE all give the secret signal) Thank you. Mom! TWANKEY: ALADDIN: Oh. That’s nice… (continuing to read)… Love is the answer. no matter where you are or 58 .... you haven’t been ramraiding in Bellevue. have you? No mom. What does it say? (slowly turning the ring and reading the inside of it ) Love will conquer all. we’ve made our fortune. CAMELS GALORE WITH HIS BEARS AND LIONS A BRASS BAND AND MORE WITH HIS FORTY FAKIRS. … well you can’t argue with that… (still continuing to read) Happiness is true love… the greatest gift is to love and be loved in return.. GOOD PEOPLE. you’re all blinged up! Hey.. We’re rich... being pulled in a RICKSHAW MAKE WAY FOR PRINCE ALI! ALADDIN: Hiya Gang! (audience react – PONGO..MUSIC CUE: Drum roll into Reprise ALL: PONGO: ALL: PRINCE ALI! AMOROUS HE! ALI ABABWA (HE) KNOWS THE PRINCESS IS A SIGHT LOVELY TO SEE AND THAT. cheering Hi. IS WHY HE GOT DOLLED UP AND DROPPED BY WITH SIXTY ELEPHANTS. you can have the rest of the afternoon off on full pay! ENSEMBLE exit in all directions.... look at this ring that Abanazar gave me. HIS BAKERS HIS BIRDS THAT WARBLE ON KEY ALADDIN enters.

.. oh master? WIDOW TWANKEY and PONGO throw themselves to the ground and bow three times TWANKEY: GENIE: TWANKEY/ PONGO: PONGO: ALADDIN: Salaam! Salaam!! Salaam!!! Close the shades dude. Right… watch this. Made in Everett! That’s very nice.. I believe that children are the future. treat them well and let them lead the way. ALADDIN rubs the lamp PYRO CUE: DSR MUSIC CUE: Sexy ‘Genie of the Lamp’ play on The GENIE enters DSR. TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY/ PONGO: ALADDIN: TWANKEY/ PONGO: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: Is that it? No. there’s no need for Salaam! False Alarm! False Alarm! False Alarm! That’s my favourite one in the whole show! Mum. it isn’t. It’s got a Spirit inside… A Spirit? Yes. PC Pongo… this is Mr Gee. if you have love in your heart you will find happiness and that happiness will never desert you as long as you have true love. there’s one more bit.. mum..what you are doing... No. and this has got a Genie… He produces the lamp A Genie? That’s just a dusty old lamp? It’s more than that. strikes a pose and waits for the screams GENIE: You summoned me. 59 . but it’s just tacky theatrical diamante. mum (to the audience) What do I have to do with it. gang? (audience react) Rub it?..

Why doesn’t she know? Say you’re sorry.TWANKEY: GENIE: Wow. I’m sorry your mama is ugly! Actually she is not the ugliest person in the world. Slow. You can’t mean me. here. Ugly? Your mama is ugly..... trust me... TWANKEY AND PONGO freeze MUSIC CUE: ‘Ting’ LX CUE: Freeze special GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIE: Boss? (he pulls Aladdin to one side) Is that your mama? Yes.. 60 . Sorry? She’s ugly. OK. You are one sexy mama. Thank you But she don’t half look like her! Look I’d appreciate it if you could make my mum feel good about herself.. he is gorgeous! Hold on a minute... He walks over to TWANKEY in a slow. sexy fashion MUSIC CUE: Sexy 70’s style music LX CUE: Romantic state GENIE : TWANKEY: Widow T. He clicks his fingers and everyone unfreezes. Well I’m sorry to tell you your mama is ugly. surely I’m too fat.... He clicks his fingers.. I’ll give her a little of the old ‘Mr Gee Charm’. she is ugly with a capital Ug! Don’t call her ugly. sexy music starts and the lights dim to a romantic state.

Mister Gee. I think you need more suitable clothing. The Unnamed Villagers are not laying a new road. All I need now is the girl of my dreams. as relations of the richest man in Peking. MUSIC CUE: Sexy muisc GENIE exits DSR in a sexy manner GENIE: TWANKEY: If I walked that way I wouldn’t need the Vaseline! TWANKEY exits DSR in an over the top sexy manner MUSIC CUE: Sexy music ALADDIN: You know. The problem is that the Emperor won’t let me anywhere near her… I know. Pongo. Pongo. Good idea. You’re not too old. I think we need to lay a new road to the palace… Good idea.. shower my mum and the people of Peking with gifts and give them whatever they desire! Master. I obey! Widow Twankey… walk this way. Aladdin… 2 MALE ENSEMBLE bring on SLOSH SHEET and lay it on the floor (to the audience) Can you guess what’s coming up? Boys and girls. Now to impress the Emperor.GENIE: TWANKEY: GENIE: TWANKEY: GENIE: You’re not too fat. we’ll tell them they’ve been invited by the mysterious ‘Prince Ali’. why don’t you invite Princess Jasmine and The Emperor to your Palace but don’t tell them it’s actually yours. Surely I’m too ugly. Pongo. are they? They’re laying a tarpaulin especially designed for horrible and messy and gooey theatrical scenes! (he points the audience at the back of the auditorium) Back ten rows… Safe! (he 61 PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: . Surely I’m too old. You’re not too old! LX CUE: Restore ALADDIN: Mum. thanks to this lamp I’ve got almost everything I’ve ever wanted ..

ENSEMBLE 1 and PONGO From the DSR wings.. the Genie gave to me… Two Football shirts... Oh. And a bra that was made to hold three. DSR PONGO: ALADDIN: On the second day of Christmas. thank you very much. Pongo. they keep giving everyone all these wonderful presents but the problem is they occasionally make a mistake. ALADDIN runs to the DSL wings for FOUR POTS and PANS.. And a bra that was made to hold three... the Genie gave to me… A bra that was made to hold three. Two Football Shirts. ALADDIN brings on a BRA THAT WAS MADE TO HOLD THREE. She stands next to PONGO. the Genie gave to me… Three Juggling Balls. FLY CUE: Palace Cloth In SCENE EIGHT – OUTSIDE ALADDIN’S PALACE LX CUE: Bright MUSIC CUE: ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ –ALADDIN.... The Genies are great. DSR ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALADDIN: On the third day of Christmas... He returns to DSR ALADDIN: On the fourth day of Christmas. Aladdin! PONGO gives ALADDIN the secret signal and exits DSR ALADDIN: See you later.points the audience in the front row) Front ten rows… Not safe!!! ALADDIN: PONGO: Thanks guys (Ensemble exit)… Pongo. the Genie gave to me… Four Pots and Pans... He stands DSR ALADDIN: On the first day of Christmas. go and get yourself some gifts from the Genies.. ENSEMBLE 1 enters DSR with THREE JUGGLING BALLS. PONGO enters DSR with TWO FOOTBALL SHIRTS.. He stands next to PONGO.. 62 .

.... He returns to CS PONGO: On the fifth day of Christmas.. Two Football Shirts.. And a bra that was made to hold three..ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALADDIN: Three Juggling Balls.. ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGO’S face 63 ... the Genie gave to me… Six Pairs of Pants. Two Football Shirts. Five custard pies! Counting as they do it.. ALADDIN goes to DSL wings for SEVEN SMELLY SOCKS ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: ALL: On the seventh day of Christmas... ALL: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Five custard pies! Four Pots and Pans.. the Genie gave to me… Seven Smelly Socks... And a bra that was made to hold three. ENSEMBLE 1 goes to DSL wings for SIX PAIRS OF PANTS ENSEMBLE 1: ALL: On the sixth day of Christmas. Three Juggling Balls.. the Genie gave to me… Five custard pies! Counting as they do it. ENSEMBLE 1 and PONGO push FIVE CUSTARD PIES into PONGO’S face ALADDIN: (to the audience) From now on gang. Three Juggling Balls. whenever we get to ‘five custard pies’ and the ‘bra that was made to hold three’ we want you to join in… will you do that? Audience react I said. PONGO runs to the DSL wings and gets a TROLLEY FULL OF THIRTY FIVE CUSTARD PIES. And a bra that was made to hold three... Two Football Shirts.. will you do that? Here we go. Six Pairs of Pants.. Five custard pies! Counting as they do it........ ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGO’S face ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Four Pots and Pans...

...... Six Pairs of Pants..... Two Football Shirts...... MUSIC vamps ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: It’s you! No. They forget who’s turn it is... the Genie gave to me… Ten Cuddly Toys.. Three Juggling Balls.. ALADDIN goes to DSL wings for TEN CUDDLY TOYS On the tenth day of Christmas.. Five custard pies! ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGO’S face ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Four Pots and Pans.. Three Juggling Balls.. the Genie gave to me… Nine Tatty Frocks. Seven Smelly Socks... And a bra that was made to hold three.. it’s not… it’s you! What? Oh sorry.. PONGO goes to DSL wings for EIGHT TOILET ROLLS PONGO: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: ALL: On the eighth day of Christmas. Three Juggling Balls.. Five custard pies! ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGO’S face ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Four Pots and Pans. ENSEMBLE 1 goes to wings to get NINE TATTY FROCKS ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: ALL: On the ninth day of Christmas... Two Football Shirts... Two Football Shirts. And a bra that was made to hold three. And a bra that was made to hold three. Nine Tatty Frocks... Six Pairs of Pants. Seven Smelly Socks... 64 ENSEMBLE 1: .. the Genie gave to me… Eight Toilet Rolls.....ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Four Pots and Pans... Eight Toilet Rolls...

. ENSEMBLE 1 is passed a LARGE WATER PISTOL.... And a bra that was made to hold three.. They are all exhausted.. PONGO goes to DSL wings for ELEVEN RUBBER CHICKENS PONGO: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: ALL: On the eleventh day of Christmas.. Six Pairs of Pants.... ENSEMBLE 1: 65 .. Two Football Shirts... Five custard pies! ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGO’S face ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Four Pots and Pans... Ten Cuddly Toys. ALADDIN: PONGO: Are you alright there.. (sings) On the twelfth day of Christmas. Six Pairs of Pants. Five custard pies! ENSEMBLE 1 and ALADDIN push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGO’S face ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Four Pots and Pans..PONGO: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: ALL: Eight Toilet Rolls. Three Juggling Balls. Eight Toilet Rolls.. Pongo? (he is covered in CUSTARD PIE FOAM) You can go off some people. Three Juggling Balls. the Genie gave to me… Eleven Rubber Chickens. Nine Tatty Frocks....... They come back to the stage.... She passes two more LARGE WATER PISTOLS to ALADDIN and PONGO. Seven Smelly Socks... the Genie gave to YOU…Twelve Gallons of Water. They go into the audience with them and ‘get’ the audience. And a bra that was made to hold three... Two Football Shirts.... PONGO stops the music. Seven Smelly Socks... can’t you? (to the audience) We have to do this three times on a Saturday..

Seven Smelly Socks. Eight Toilet Rolls. Five custard pies! ENSEMBLE 1 and PONGO push FIVE CUSTARD PIES in PONGO’S face ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALL: Four Pots and Pans.THE GARDEN OF ALADDIN'S PALACE LX CUE: Warm.. And a bra that was made to hold three.... And so far. Six Pairs of Pants. I’m not marrying anyone unless they really love me.ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO/ ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: Let’s sing it one last time… but this time… Double time. unseen by the EMPEROR and JASMINE JASMINE: 66 .... whoever this mysterious ‘Prince Ali’ is..... Nine Tatty Frocks. Three Juggling Balls... ‘rich’ state The MAGIC LAMP stands on a plinth USR The EMPEROR and PRINCESS JASMINE are found on EMPEROR: Look at this: wealth beyond a man’s wildest dreams. I’ve told you father. ALADDIN enters USL. only one man has proved that he does.. Two Football Shirts... you shall have to marry him. One thing’s for sure.. They exit SR with the props... waving as they go LX CUE: Reduce to Blackout FLY CUE: Street cloth out to reveal… SCENE NINE . Ten Cuddly Toys. Jasmine. Double time? Double time! They pick up their props as they go ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: PONGO: ALADDIN: ENSEMBLE 1: ALL: Twelve Gallons of Water Eleven Rubber Chickens.

please enter the Palace of Prince Aladdin! MUSIC CUE: Chinese fanfare COURTIERS (ENSEMBLE) enter from all sides One visitor has asked to be announced. where did all this come from? Princess Jasmine. my boy.. (she runs to him) Oh. I promised I’d wait for Aladdin and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. SUM TING-WONG: (calling) Worthy visitors.EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: But this man is obviously extremely rich. Your Royal Regalness. this is my servant. I always said you’d do well for yourself. Is there something wrong.. 67 . father and Aladdin loves me! (even more furious) ALADDIN!!!… THAT…(suddenly turning and noticing Aladdin) … extremely talented young man who I always said would make something of himself. Sum Ting-Wong? SUM TING-WONG: Oh great one. then so be it. Good man. (furious) Aladdin? That young rapscallion from the backstreets of Peking? If I have to wait a lifetime for Aladdin. I have so much to tell you. Sum Ting-Wong. you have visitors! ALADDIN: Bid them enter. great Aladdin. ALADDIN: Ah. SUM TING-WONG (Juve) enters USR JASMINE: ALADDIN: JASMINE: EMPEROR: JASMINE: ALADDIN: SUM TING-WONG: Oh. Aladdin is it really you? Did you really love me before I had all this? Of course I did. I don’t care if he’s the richest man in the world. (more furious) Aladdin? That lazy good for nothing laundry boy! I love Aladdin. good man… Aladdin.

please welcome The Devastatingly Delightful and Dauntingly Delectable Dowager Duchess Twankey.Jasmine and I have an announcement to make we're engaged to be married! ALL cheer and clap EMPEROR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: Congratulations. A woman? He may be the Emperor of China but he doesn’t 68 TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: .I'm delighted to meet you again. and when's the happy day? We haven't decided yet..you look magnificent! Thank you. How about tomorrow? The sooner the marriage contract is signed the better! Widow Twankey. SUM TING-WONG: My Lords. Your beauty is overwhelming. we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other and I’m so pleased. what did your ex-husband do? He was in oil. Jennifer Lopez? No. ma'am. Shrek! (Getting flirty) Widow Twankey.ALADDIN: Very well. Was he a Sheik? No. Tell me. I believe you’ve already met my mother. Ladies and Gentlemen. you have the face of a film star. Duchess Twankey . MUSIC CUE: Chinese Fanfare WIDOW TWANKEY enters DSR – dressed in GLAMOROUS OUTFIT ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: Mum . Mum . son! I’m so rich even the bags under my eyes are Gucci! Emperor. my dears. you are a very special woman. Widow Twankey.. he was a sardine! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! ALADDIN: Emperor.

(to ensemble) Come on. well done. he always says things like….. Father.. You do and you’ll get a punch on the nose! It’s lovely chatting to you Emp but I’m afraid I must be going… I’ve got to finish writing my international best seller. (To audience) We’ll see you later. boys and girls?! EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: You have that extra little thing that no other woman has. EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR(offstage): New lamps for old!. guys I’ll show you around the Palace. A man who dresses as a woman but has problems with his five o’clock shadow? Yes. What’s it called? Fifty Shaves a Day! MUSIC CUE: Ba-dum-tish! See you later. SUM TING WONG and ENSEMBLE give the secret signal and then exit USL EMPEROR: JASMINE: Ah. gang! ALADDIN. I’ll go and sort out the marriage licence.dressed as an old peddler and carrying a LARGE STICK WITH VARIOUS NEW LAMPS hanging from it. money's not important to me! (dreamily) Oh.know everything. EMPEROR: New lamps for old?… that doesn’t sound very romantic. You can say that again! I just can’t put my finger on it. does he. 69 . Jasmine. Aladdin’s so romantic.. boys and girls! TWANKEY exits DSL ALADDIN: Jasmine. all about a man who dresses as a woman but has problems with his five o’clock shadow. MUSIC CUE: Evil underscore Enter ABANAZAR USL . I'm so glad you grabbed Aladdin before some dreadful fortune-hunter did..

I don't think you should give it away.. what a stroke of luck.... Not even one? (He winks very deliberately towards the magic lamp) I’m sorry? Not even one? (even more deliberate winking) Do you have something in your eye? (coughs) Lamp… I beg your pardon? (coughs) Lamp. I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave immediat.. boys and girls..? The AUDIENCE react EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: JASMINE: EMPEROR: Nonsense. Well.in exchange for an old one. Avabanana! DON’T CALL ME THAT NAME!! … ahem…I am not Avabanana…I am just an old peddler who is giving things away. ABANAZAR is relishing his role as the peddler ABANAZAR: New lamps for old! New lamps for old! (to the audience) This cunning disguise will show my true versatility as an actor. Oh. that lamp belongs to Aladdin. Lamp.JASMINE: That wasn’t me Father.. it was that old peddler. I’m afraid I haven’t.. my dear.. new lamp . (To audience) Do you. they don't know a bargain when they see 70 .... shiny. Would you happen to have an old lamp. What a surprise! Father. there just happens to be an old lamp here. Nobody… and I mean absolutely nobody will recognise me. giving things away? What sort of things? A bright. where? (coughs) Behind you! What?. my lord? No. Hello.

should he. may I take it? MUSIC CUE: Cymbal roll… EMPEROR: There you go.. your highness. Aladdin? ABANAZAR: GENIE: I have the lamp now and you will do as I say. my man… The EMPEROR offers ABANAZAR the lamp. my dear? If Aladdin values this old thing he must be mad! Quite right. (to the audience) I don’t like the sound of this but.... He is dancing as he listens to some disco music on an i-pod SFX CUE: Muffled ‘tsssstsstsss tssstsss’ i-pod disco tune GENIE: (sings) I GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER. I GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER. don't! He shouldn’t do it. Father. The EMPEROR offers ABANAZAR the lamp MUSIC CUE: Cymbal roll The lamp is withdrawn JASMINE: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: Please. 71 . my good man.. what happened to the cool dude. boys and girls? Why not. I GOT THE MOOOOOOOOOO-VES LIKE JAGGER!… He removes the ear-phones and notices Abanazar Whoah.all the power is mine! ABANAZAR rubs the lamp PYRO CUE: DSR MUSIC CUE: ‘Genie of the Lamp’ play on The GENIE OF THE LAMP enters DSR. ABANAZAR seizes it and throws off his disguise MUSIC CUE: …cymbal roll into Abanazar motif ABANAZAR: Aha! At last .. (he adopts a Genie-like pose) Speak and I shall obey.one! Here you are.

. I ain’t too happy about this but I guess you are the man! Master ...! Genie? I’m sorry. Aladdin.I know it's you!!! (off) Don’t you just love me! The sound of the WIDOW TWANKEY and PONGO (now dressed in POOR CLOTHES) twirl in DSL tornado fades 72 .. no. Shall tomorrow become.... JASMINE.ABANAZAR: Take Aladdin's riches through the air To beneath the pyramids in Egypt. where This beautiful Princess by my side. ENSEMBLE and JUVES whirl around the stage doing really impressive ‘tornado’ acting and then exit in all directions ALADDIN twirls CLOTHES)..secret signal) My Princess gone! All my riches too?! (shouting) Abanazar .help! (she grabs The EMPEROR) Help!! Help!! ABANAZAR. EMPEROR. ABANAZAR'S BRIDE! ABANAZAR grabs PRINCESS JASMINE by the wrist GENIE: Well.it is done! The GENIE starts to blow SFX CUE: The sound of a tornado MUSIC CUE: Cymbal rolls and crashes LX CUE: Tornado! COURTIERS (ENSEMBLE and JUVES) enter from all sides JASMINE: EMPEROR: ENSEMBLE: Father . GENIE exits DSR ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: Hiya gang (audience react. in DSL (now dressed in POOR FLY CUE: ‘Street of a Thousand Goldfish’ cloth in SCENE TEN– THE STREET OF A THOUSAND GOLDFISH ALADDIN: GENIE: No.

Audience tell Aladdin to rub the ring TWANKEY/ PONGO: ALADDIN: What’s that. ALADDIN rubs the ring. nothing happens TWANKEY: Nothing’s happened... If only there was something I could do… if only there was something ‘close to hand’.. It’s SO Federal Way! Anyways. I was just listening to Radio Hankook... MUSIC CUE: Trance state LX CUE: ‘Trance’ The SPIRIT OF THE RING goes into a trance like state. I didn't think you'd need me now you've got Mister Gee to serve you! That's just what I haven't got! Abanazar's stolen the lamp and carried Princess Jasmine away! Where’s he taken her? One moment whilst I go into a trance like state. the Palace. (stroking their chins in a very obvious manner) Close to hand....PONGO: ALADDIN: Hey. worst of all. gang? AUDIENCE react Right here we go…. ALADDIN rubs the ring again PYRO CUE: DSR MUSIC CUE: Spirit of the Ring motif The SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSR SPIRIT: Sorry.. Try again. Are you a medium? No I’ve always been an extra large! 73 . my Princess! We’re back in the streets with absolutely nothing.. what's happened to all your posh clothes? Our clothes aren't important! Abanazar's stolen the lamp. all the people of Peking and. Aladdin. She places her fingers on her temples and starts to hum ALADDIN: SPIRIT: TWANKEY: PONGO: TWANKEY: Oh. maybe I could help with my hypnotic powers.

They all gesture SR.. they’re now flying through the air and landing at The Ancient Pyramids of Egypt! MUSIC CUE: Dramatic chord ALADDIN: SPIRIT: I have to save Jasmine! Can you fly us there? Not all of you...They all laugh hysterically. 320th Street? Yes! And now they’ve gone into the Big Lots. guys. I don't have a carpet big enough for you two. I’m afraid. I’m off to rescue Princess Jasmine. I don’t blame them. Charming! Hey. on 320th St. everything’s so cheap! (she gasps) OMG… I don’t believe it. A FLYING CARPET is thrown in from wings SL ALADDIN: A magic flying carpet? Wow. they're.. They place their fingers on their temples and starts to hum and sway ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALL: SPIRIT: Can you see them. we could go in one of those vans which sleeps up to four people! Camper? 74 . Spirit? They're... We need to go as well. PONGO strikes TWANKEY What did you so that for? PONGO: I always like to strike a happy medium! They all go into a trance. thanks Spirit.. MUSIC CUE: Chinese-style ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ ALADDIN gives the secret signal and then exits heroically DSL TWANKEY: SPIRIT: TWANKEY/ PONGO: PONGO: TWANKEY/: SPIRIT: (to the Spirit) Oi Beyonce! I can’t let my son go to Egypt on his own. Aladdin. but I’ve got just the thing for you. See you in Egypt. Take this magic flying carpet.

PONGO: TWANKEY: PONGO: (in a really camp voice) We could go in one of those vans which sleeps up to four people! Come on.. I hope he finds what he’s looking for But he must be wary. we’ll get the bus. He starts to fly SPIRIT: SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND HIM LOOK TO THE EASTERN SKY! AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY: "EV'RYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY!" AND IF YOU’RE FLYING SOLO AT LEAST YOU’RE FLYING FREE IF ABANAZAR DOUBTS ME TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME TELL HIM HOW YOU’RE DEFYING GRAVITY YOU’RE FLYING HIGH.. DEFYING GRAVITY AND SOON YOU'LL MEET HIM IN CAIRO ABANAZAR WILL NOT STOP MY FLIGHT FOR JASMINES HAND I’LL STAND AND FIGHT HE’S NEVER GONNA BRING YOU DOWN! ALADDIN TO THE RESCUE ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALL (B/V): 75 . Aladdin’s equipped To make his journey to far-off Egypt. guys! WIDOW TWANKEY. SCENE ELEVEN – NIGHT FLIGHT TO CAIRO MUSIC CUE: ‘Defying Gravity’ ALADDIN and SPIRIT LX CUE: For flying ALADDIN is on the FLYING CARPET. for there’s trouble in store So now Aladdin. And surf the stars way up high SPIRIT breaks far DSR FLY CUE: Street Cloth out to reveal. with the carpet. See you later. PONGO and PONGO exit DSL SPIRIT: Now. it’s time to fly.

. and Abanazar’s used his evil powers to turn the Citizens of Peking into Egyptian mummies. look at this.all armed to the teeth! Armed to the teeth? Yes. his acting was very suspicious in The Turn of the Screw! My Princess is locked in Abanazar’s hideout until she agrees to marry him! We've got to rescue her and the people of Peking! But the palace is bristling with guards .LX CUE: Blackout FLY CUE: Pyramid Front Cloth in SCENE TWELVE – BENEATH THE GREAT PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT MUSIC CUE: Spooky Egyptian music PONGO enters DSL PONGO: Hiya boys and girls! (audience react) Wow. they’ve got machine gums! SFX CUE: Scary ‘mummy’ sound ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: Did you hear that? Did it go ‘ohhhhhhhh!’ Yes. It sounds ridiculous but it’s pantomime so it must be true! ALADDIN enters DSR ALADDIN: PONGO: Pongo! Aladdin! They do the secret signal ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: Hey. 76 . I’ve just seen Abanazar in his hideout. That doesn’t surprise me.. He was acting suspiciously. We’re beneath the famous pyramids in Egypt.

mom.. Has somebody paid you to wear that costume and keep mentioning their name? Pardon? Has somebody paid you to wear that costume and keep mentioning their name? Which name? Peking Wok! (looking into the wings) That’s got to be worth a bonus. ladies and gentlemen. TWANKEY enters DSR wearing PEKING WOK ‘NOODLE BOX’ dress TWANKEY: Hello. Did anyone order a Chinese Takeaway? (to the audience) Peking Wok.. Aladdin.. I bet it’s full of scary mummies. we think this place might be haunted! What do you think we should do? Beat TWANKEY: Peking Wok! She looks into the wings and mimes ‘two’ PONGO: TWANKEY: What? Peking Wok. This is Egypt. A place is only haunted if there’s a fat guy pretending to be a woman and wearing a ridiculous costume.. Don’t be silly. boys and girls. 77 . A Taste of the Orient! She looks into the wings and mimes ‘three’ ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: ALADDIN: TWANKEY: Just a minute. SFX CUE: Ohhhhhhhhhh ALADDIN: There’s that noise again. Federal Way’s finest Chinese Restaurant! She looks into the wings and sticks her thumb up PONGO: Widow Twankey. you know the rules.PONGO: ALADDIN: PONGO: I didn’t hear a thing! I don’t like this place I think it may be haunted.

de dum de dum de dum. de dum de dum de dum. de dum de dum de dum. de dum de dum de dum. PONGO gets BENCH from wings (SL) ALADDIN: PONGO: ALADDIN: Are you sure it will work? It has done for the last seven years! Now. if you see anything will you shout out and warn us? (react) Will you shout louder than that? And join in with this song. 2 MUMMIES enter SR and stays behind the bench (Swinging right arm) Yeah ALL: Always look on the bright side of life De dum. Thank you Uncle David. MUSIC CUE: ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!' LX CUE: Mysterious TWANKEY: ALL: Always look on the bright side of life De dum.. gang. all we have to do is sit on that conveniently placed bench. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! 78 . we’ll have to sing it again then won’t we – woops! ( swing right arm and kick right leg) Always look on the bright side of life De dum. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! 1 MUMMY enters SL and stands behind them ALL: Always look on the bright side of life De dum.TWANKEY: PONGO: There’s one or two scary mummies in the front row! Look. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! MUMMY exits SL ALADDIN: AUDIENCE: ALL: AUDIENCE: ALL: AUDIENCE: ALL: ALL: (Rising from the bench) What was it? A MUMMY A MUMMY? Yes! Was it? Yes! Well. sing a song and it will keep the scary mummies away..

(realising he has gone) Where’s Aladdin gone? (Rising from the bench) What was it? MUMMIES! MUMMIES? Yes! Was it? Yes! Well. tap PONGO on shoulder and chase him off Always look on the bright side of life De dum. we’ll have to sing it again then won’t we – woops! ( swing right arm and kick right leg) Always look on the bright side of life De dum. de dum de dum de dum. de dum de dum de dum. They circle the bench clock wise. we’ll have to sing it again then won’t we – woops! ( swing right arm and kick right leg) Always look on the bright side of life De dum. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! 2 MUMMIES enter.PONGO: Where is it? Behind us… come on we’ll have a look. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! Sing up. de dum de dum de dum. Pongo (realising he has gone) (Rising from the bench) What was it? MUMMIES! A what? 79 . (Swinging right arm) Yeah! TWANKEY: PONGO: AUDIENCE: BOTH: AUDIENCE: BOTH: AUDIENCE: BOTH: BOTH: TWANKEY: AUDIENCE: TWANKEY: Sing up. de dum de dum de dum. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! 2 MUMMIES enter. tap ALADDIN on shoulder and chase him off BOTH: Always look on the bright side of life De dum. what was it? MUMMIES! MUMMIES? Yes! Was it? Yes! Well. Aladdin. MUMMIES follow and then exit TWANKEY: AUDIENCE: ALL: AUDIENCE: ALL: AUDIENCE: ALL: ALL: There’s no sign of him.

de dum de dum de dum.AUDIENCE: TWANKEY: AUDIENCE: TWANKEY: AUDIENCE: TWANKEY: MUMMIES! MUMMIES? Yes! Was it? Yes! Well. MUSIC CUE: Comedy play off (TWANKEY exits during BLACKOUT taking bench with her) FLY CUE: Cloth out LX CUE: Lights up to reveal… SCENE TWELVE (a) – ABANAZAR’S PALACE IN EGYPT MUSIC CUE: ‘Trouble’ ABANAZAR. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! Slowly TWANKEY stops and turns to face the MUMMIES. won’t I– woops! ( swing right arm and kick right leg) Always look on the bright side of life De dum. Peking Wok! LX CUE: BLACK OUT. TWANKEY: Hello there! The MUMMIES scream and exits SR and SL. I’ll have to sing it again then. (Swinging right arm) Yeah! 2 MUMMIES enter and sit next to TWANKEY. They join in with the hand jive Always look on the bright side of life De dum. ENSEMBLE and JUVES (MUMMIES) The scene starts with ABANAZAR (wearing shades) emerging from behind 4 MUMMIES (Juves) and eventually we see more and more enter until there are 8 MUMMIES (Juves and Ensemble) on stage 80 . de dum de dum de dum.

AS CAN BE SO DON'T MESS AROUND DON'T MESS AROUND DON'T MESS AROUND WITH ME I'M EVIL. EVIL. SO DON'T YOU MESS AROUND WITH ME I'M EVIL. bring the prisoners to me! Yes.. SO DON'T YOU MESS AROUND WITH ME I'VE NEVER LOOKED FOR TROUBLE BUT I'VE NEVER RAN I DON'T TAKE NO ORDERS FROM NO KIND OF MAN I'M ONLY MADE OUT OF FLESH... EVIL. EVIL. DON'T MESS AROUND WITH ME I'M EVIL. Avabanana! DON’T CALL ME THAT NAME! Mummies exit in all directions I have everything I’ve ever desired. EVIL SO DON'T MESS AROUND. I TELL YOU I'M EVIL SO DON'T MESS AROUND WITH ME ABANAZAR: Thank you. Isn’t this wonderful? I’ve put a curse on the people of Peking and turned them into my very own army of yummy mummies… hahahahahahaha! Now. AS CAN BE I'M EVIL. MY MIDDLE NAME IS MISERY Abanazar Misery Elizabeth Smith! WELL I'M EVIL. thank you.. BLOOD AND BONE BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA START A RUMBLE DON'T YOU TRY IT ON ALONE BECAUSE I'M EVIL. my Princess . the only thing now is for Princess Jasmine to agree to be my bride! Hahhahaha! TWO MUMMIES return SL with PRINCESS JASMINE and EMPEROR Ah.how beautiful you look tonight! MUMMIES: ABANAZAR: JASMINE: Don't you dare touch me! 81 . MY MIDDLE NAME IS MISERY (spoken) My parents had a funny sense of humour! WELL I'M EVIL.ABANAZAR: IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE JUST LOOK RIGHT IN MY FACE I WAS BORN STANDING UP AND TALKING BACK MY DADDY WAS A GREEN-EYED MOUNTAIN JACK BECAUSE I'M EVIL. EVIL. I'M EVIL. EVIL.

now is the time to meet your doom.. girl! Marry me or you’ll never see your father again! ALADDIN jumps on SL. your father will be taken to the dungeons where he will endure a long and lingering demise Death by a Thousand Cuts!! A thousand cuts?… (to the audience) Sounds like the budget for the Federal Way School District! I will never marry you Abanazar.. catch!! ALADDIN throws the lamp to TWANKEY PONGO: KUNG FU FIGHT! SFX: Chinese Voice Over We are suddenly in a bad Chinese-Kung-Fu-Enter-theDragon-type movie. ALADDIN’S and ABANAZAR’S mouths move far too quickly for the words we are hearing (as if it is a badly dubbed foreign film). hideous creature and. (turning on Abanazar) Your threats do not frighten me.ABANAZAR: JASMINE: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: EMPEROR: ABANAZAR: So beautiful and yet so cold! Either you consent to marry me or there will be some very painful consequences. I would rather die than become your bride! Oh I don’t intend to harm a hair of your beautiful head… …What did I tell you? …it is your father who will suffer! … he's got a heart of … . oh.. Aladdin (VO) No. Abanazar. by the way.WHAT?! If you do not accept my proposal.. I hate you! Do not provoke me. Avabanana! (VO) Don’t call me that name! 82 .. ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: (VO) Now is the time to meet your doom. you are a cruel.. PONGO and TWANKEY jump on SR EMPEROR: JASMINE ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: (Taking the lamp) And you’ll never see the lamp again! Aladdin! Mum.

I’ll rub the ring. 83 . O’ master. mom.ALADDIN: ABANAZAR: (VO) Which name? (VO) Avabanana! Arggggghhhhhhhhh! A comedic KUNG FU FIGHT ensues MUSIC CUE: Chinese-style fight music (with Kung Fu-style cymbals) SFX CUE: Comedy punches etc LX CUE: Stylised Kung Fu fight ALADDIN defeats ABANAZAR EMPEROR: TWANKEY: ABANAZAR: ALADDIN: What are we going to do with this villain? Make him do The Sound of Music at Tacoma Musical Playhouse! No… anything but that! What shall we do with him. Will do.. it’s good to see you! Genies. Aladdin! ALADDIN and TWANKEY rub the LAMP and RING PYRO CUE: DSL and DSR The GENIE OF THE LAMP enters DSR and the SPIRIT OF THE RING enters DSL MUSIC CUE: Genies play on ALADDIN: TWANKEY: GENIE/SPIRIT: SPIRIT: GENIE: ALADDIN: GENIES (very serious) What is your command.shouting ‘kill him kill him! (to his parents) You must be very proud! We’ll see him on Jerry Springer in a couple of years! The Genies will sort him out.about six years old .. Some small children will invariably shout ‘kill him’ PONGO: There’s a little boy over here .. boys and girls? Audience react... you rub the lamp..? (realising it is Aladdin) Aladdin! How’s it hangin’ dude?. Can you make this monster lovable? As our master wishes...

can you release them? Are there any pretty ladies? Oh. He sings as they exit.everyone picks on me! Make them stop . On my way to where the air is sweet. by our spell you'll be beguiled. ABANAZAR bursts into song (Al Jolson-style). with the MUMMY kicking his legs in time to the music ABANAZAR: ‘I’D WALK A MILLION MILES FOR ONE OF YOUR SMILES. How to get to Sesame Street! (To Jasmine) It's not fair .SPIRIT: GENIE: (To Abanazar) Now. As weak and helpless . the people of Peking are still trapped as mummies Genies.as a child! MUSIC CUE: Spell Zap ABANAZAR becomes like a five year-old child ABANAZAR: (he cries) I want to watch Sesame Street! (he sings) I love Elmo!! (he sings) Sweepin' the clouds away.. MY MUMMY!’ They exit DSR JASMINE: ALADDIN: GENIE: PONGO: SPIRIT: Aladdin. Can you tell me how to get.. there are lots of pretty ladies! Are there any really big butch men? Beat PONGO: GENIE: There are lots of pretty ladies! Master it is done! 84 .they're hurting me! Get off! You big cry-baby! I want my mummy! I want my mummy! A MUMMY (male ensemble) enters DSR JASMINE: ABANAZAR: ABANAZAR: Mummy! MUSIC CUE: “Mammy” The Mummy picks ABANAZAR into his arms. yes.

. you serve yourselves. Genies. I don’t need anything else. Well. Make it a double wedding. you’re all invited to the wedding! Hooray! Master.. 85 TWANKEY: EMPEROR: TWANKEY: EMPEROR: ALADDIN: ALL: GENIES: ALADDIN: SPIRIT: ALADDIN: GENIE: ALADDIN: . If you own the lamp and ring.GENIE. it will be done! I wish you'd both stop calling me ‘master’ . can you transport us all back to Peking where Princess Jasmine and I are going to be married. you own us! Then I give the lamp and the ring to you! I don’t get it. your ring. I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of. ALADDIN... Aladdin? Of course I’m sure.The PEOPLE of PEKING (JUVENILES/ENSEMBLE) enter cheering ALADDIN: I have one more thing to ask of you.. the Emperor’s just proposed to me! Have I? We’re the family with all the money! My darling wife…! Hey. ALADDIN hands her the ring Mr Gee..my name's Aladdin! But if you own the lamp and ring. Shaaaattt apppppppppp!…What? After all these years we’re finally free? Are you sure.. your lamp! ALADDIN hands him the lamp GENIE: SPIRIT: ALADDIN: GENIES: ALL: Free?. My final wish is to set you free! Spirit.. We’re free! Hooray! MUSIC CUE: ‘Think!’ . SPIRIT..

EMPEROR. LETTING ME BE FREE LET’S GO BACK.THINK ABOUT IT.TWANKEY. FREEDOM YEAH . AIN'T NO GENIE WITH A DEGREE IT DON'T TAKE TOO MUCH HIGH IQ'S TO SEE WHAT YOU'RE GIVING ME (BUT) YOU’D BETTER THINK! (THINK) THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE TO ME THINK! THINK THINK YOU’RE LETTING ME GO. LETTING ME BE FREE GIVING US OUR FREEDOM IS THE BEST THING YOU COULD DO WE’LL ACCEPT YOUR OFFER IF YOU’RE SURE YOU’VE THOUGHT IT THROUGH YOU’D BETTER THINK! THINK THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE TO ME THINK! THINK THINK! YOU’RE LETTING ME GO. OOH . LET’S GO BACK. JASMINE. LETTING ME BE FREE YOU NEED ME AND I NEED YOU WITHOUT EACH OTHER THERE AIN’T NOTHING WE CAN 86 ALL: SPIRIT: ALL: SPIRIT: GENIE: ALL: GENIE: ALL: GENIE: SPIRIT: BOTH: ALL: BOTH: ALL: BOTH: SPIRIT GENIE: BOTH: . FREEDOM.THINK ABOUT IT I’VE BEEN STUCK INSIDE THAT LAMP GRANTING WISHES TO ONE AND ALL NOW YOU’VE OFFERED ME ONE LAST WISH AND IT’S MY GREATEST WISH OF ALL YOU’D BETTER THINK! THINK THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE TO ME THINK! THINK THINK! YOU’RE LETTING ME GO. ENSEMBLE & JUVES SPIRIT: ALL: SPIRIT: ALL: SPIRIT: YOU’D BETTER THINK! THINK THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE TO ME THINK! THINK THINK YOU’RE LETTING ME GO. LET’S GO WAY OVER WAY BACK WHEN I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU WHEN YOU FIRST RUBBED THE RING BACK THEN I AIN'T NO PSYCHIATRIST. LETTING ME BE FREE FREEDOM. FREEDOM. FREEDOM FREEDOM. FREEDOM. PONGO. FREEDOM.

. FREEDOM. have you all enjoyed the show? We’ve made Abanazar good – so now. FREEDOM. I never thought I’d say this.. FREEDOM.DO FREEDOM.THE PAGODA OF PERPETUAL BLISS MUSIC CUE: Walkdown .and a promise to come back to our pantomime next year! (ALL cheer) MUSIC CUE: ‘Pantomime’ (‘Pom Poms) – FULL COMPANY 87 .. FREEDOM FREEDOM.. . FREEDOM... I’m in love with Widow Twankey! Before you all leave for home – we’ll ask for one more cheer..I think I need a hanky. So just one final question.‘Bring Me Sunshine’ JUVENILES ENSEMBLE EMPEROR SPIRIT GENIE WIDOW TWANKEY PONGO ABANAZAR PONGO: Ladies and gentlemen.you may call be Avabanana! I’m getting quite emotional ... (in best stage English) So if you see me in the street . FREEDOM FLY CUE: Palace gates cloth in SCENE FOURTEEN . three cheers for Aladdin and Princess Jasmine… Hip hip… Hip hip… hip hip… Enter ALADDIN AND JASMINE Music stops EMPEROR: PONGO: SPIRIT: ABANAZAR: TWANKEY: GENIE: JASMINE: ALADDIN: And so our story’s over and now it’s time to go. he’s quite a charmer...

right now We’re coming for the title More to love when your hands are free Baby got your pantomime from me Come on shake it up 123 Baby got your pantomime from me When you move I fall to my knees Baby got your pantomime from me Come on shake it up 543 Baby got your pantomime from me Ladies to the left.(David assigns lyrics as he sees fit) More to love when your hands are free Baby got your pantomime from me Come on shake it up 123 Baby got your pantomime from me Yeah they come from miles away Just to see how we get down Feels like an earthquake Every time you come around You hear ‘em saying yeah (yeah) Every time feels like a revival (glory) So get up. right now We’re coming for the title More to love when your hands are free Baby get your pantomime from me Come on shake it up 123 Baby got your pantomime from me When you move I fall to my knees Baby got your pantomime from me Come on shake it up 543 Baby got your pantomime from me I want you on my team Want you like kid just wants a milkshake And I won’t let it go to waste if I get a taste I’m gonna drink the whole thing You hear ‘em saying yeah (yeah) Every time feels like a revival (glory) So get up. fellas to the right If you like to see me in my pantomime Then sing it to me baby sing it right now Na na na na na na. yeah yeah 88 . yeah yeah If you like to see me in my pantomime Then sing it to me baby sing it right now Na na na na na na.

More to love when your hands are free Baby got your pantomime from me Come on shake it up 123 Baby got your pantomime from me When you move I fall to my knees Baby got your pantomime from me Come on shake it up 543 Baby got your pantomime from me 89 .

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