Body language

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Body language refers to forms of non-verbal communication, wherein a person reveals clues as to some unspoken intention or feeling through their physical behaviour. [1 !hese behaviours can include body posture, gestures, facial e"pressions, and eye movements. #lthough this article focuses on interpretations of human body language, animals also use body language as a communication mechanism.[$ Body language is typically subconscious behaviour, and is therefore considered distinct fromsign language, which is a fully conscious and intentional act of communication. Body language may provide clues as to the attitude or state of mind of a person. For e"ample, it may indicate aggression,attentiveness, boredom, rela"ed state, pleasure, amusement, and into"ication. Body language is significant to communication and relationships. %t is relevant to management and leadership in business and also in places where it can be observed by many people. %t can also be relevant to some outside of the workplace. %t is commonly helpful in dating, mating, in family settings, and parenting. #lthough body language is non-verbal or non-spoken, it can reveal much about your feelings and meaning to others and also how other others reveal their feelings toward you. Body language signals happen on a conscious and unconscious level. [&

1 'nderstanding body language

o • • • • • • • • •

1.1 (hysical e"pression $ (revalence of non-verbal communication in humans & (ro"emics ) 'nintentional gestures * +yes , #rms - .egs and feet / 0ee also 1 2eferences 13 +"ternal links

Understanding body language[edit source | editbeta]
!he techni4ue of 5reading5 people is used fre4uently. For e"ample, the idea of mirroring body language to put people at ease is commonly used during interview situations. Body language can show feelings to other people, which works in return for other people. (eople who show their body language to you can reveal their feelings and meanings. 6irroring the body language of someone else indicates that they are understood.[citation needed %t is important to note that some markers of emotion 7e.g. smiling8laughing when happy, frowning8crying when sad9 are largely universal, [) [page needed however in the 1113s (aul +kman e"panded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles.[citation needed !he newly included emotions are:

# study in body language.

1. #musement $. ;ontempt &. ;ontentment ). +mbarrassment *. +"citement

,. <uilt -. (ride in achievement /. 2elief 1. 0atisfaction 13. 0ensory pleasure 11. 0hame Body language signals may have a goal other than communication. (eople would keep both these two in mind. =bservers limit the weight they place on non-verbal cues. 0ignalers clarify their signals to indicate the biological origin of their actions. >erbal communication also re4uires body language to show that the person you are talking with that you are listening. !hese signals can consist of? eye contact and nodding your head to show you understand. 6ore e"amples would include yawning 7sleepiness9, showing lack of interest 7se"ual interest8survival interest9, attempts to change the topic 7fight or flight drivers9. 2udolf .aban and Warren .ambadd much to this about dancers. 6ime artists such as Booff 0how utili@e these techni4ues to communicate entire shows without a single word.

Physical expression[edit source | editbeta]
(hysical e"pressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. !he study of body movement and e"pression is known as kinesics. Aumans move their bodies when communicating because, as research has shown [citation needed , it helps 5ease the mental effort when communication is difficult.5 (hysical e"pressions reveal many things about the person using them. For e"ample, gestures can emphasi@e a point or relay a message, posture can reveal boredom or great interest, and touch can convey encouragement or caution. [*

=ne of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[, !his could indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. Aowever, it can also indicate that the personBs arms are cold, which would be clarified by rubbing the arms or huddling. When the overall situation is amicable, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed, but in a serious or confrontational situation, it can mean that a person is e"pressing opposition. !his is especially so if the person is leaning away from the speaker. # harsh or blank facial e"pression often indicates outright hostility.

;onsistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. %t can also mean that the other person doesnBt trust the speaker enough to 5take their eyes off5 the speaker. .ack of eye contact can indicate negativity. =n the other hand, individuals

[citation needed Ceceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation.with an"iety disorders are often unable to make eye contact without discomfort. [citation needed • Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side. [citation needed • Cisbelief is often indicated by averted ga@e. %f the person looks from one eye to the other. such as standing and listening properly. %t should also be stated that people from different cultures can interpret body language in different ways. +"cessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. there are three standard areas that a person will look which represent different states of being. then to the forehead. and that he wants to talk about it. 2ecently[when? . even while directly looking at you. and the eyes will stare away for an e"tended period. then to the nose. and unfocused eyes may indicate ocular problems in the listener. +ye contact can also be a secondary and misleading gesture because cultural norms about it vary widely. #lso. %f they move from one eye to the other. !he last case is from one eye to the other and then down to the lips.[citation needed • • %nterest can be indicated through posture or e"tended eye contact. [citation needed %nterpreting their gestures and facial e"pressions 7or lack thereof9 in the conte"t of normal body language usually leads to misunderstandings and misinterpretations 7especially if body language is given priority over spoken language9. or not at all. =r if while making direct eye contact. the attention invariably wanders. that signals that they are engaging in what they consider to be a 5level conversation5 with neither party holding superiority. or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.[- 0ome people use and understand body language differently. while only -E of communication consists of words themselves? . trust or a feeling of safety 7part of the neck becomes uncovered. # head tilt may also indicate a sore neck. When a person is not being convinced by what someone is saying. hence vulnerable? %tBs virtually impossible to tilt our head in front of someone we donBt trust or are scared of9 or #mblyopia. %f a person is looking at you. but is making the arms-across-chest signal. it is a sign that they are taking an authoritative position. evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than e"cessive blinking. or by touching the ear or scratching the chin. a person is fiddling with something. Prevalence of non-verbal communication in humans[edit source | editbeta] Dames Borg states that human communication consists of 1& percent body language and paralinguistic clues. it could indicate that the attention is elsewhere. the eye contact could be indicative that something is bothering the person. !his is a strong indication of romantic feelings.

& times more often than verbal meaning. [citation needed #lbert 6ehrabian found 5that the verbal component of a face-to-face conversation is less than &*E and that over . (ease 7$33)9 suggests evaluation should be on three distinct rules: 19 2ead gestures in clusters? $9 look for congruence? and &9 read gestures in conte"t.[13 Ciagram of +dward !.. and another finding that verbal communication in a flat tone is ) times more likely to be understood than a pure facial e"pression. Cifferent studies have found differing amounts. #lbert 6ehrabian.[11 !he distance between people in a social situation often discloses . AallBs personal reaction bubbles 711.*E of communication is done non-verbally5. has stated that this is a misunderstanding of the findings [1 7see 6isinterpretation of 6ehrabianBs rule9.. the researcher whose 11. with some studies showing that facial communication is believed )..[/ however.9. Proxemics[edit source | editbeta] Main article: Personal space %ntroduced by +dward !.3s work is the source of these statistics. showing radius in feet !he interpretation of body language should not be based on a single gesture.* percent. 0ome researchers[who? put the level of nonverbal communication as high as /3 percent of all communication when others[who? state the figures could be at or around *3-. Aall in 11. pro"emics is the study of measurable distances between people as they interact with one another.

a lip touch. # large number of people are starting to attend special sessions on controlled body behaviour and take advice from e"pert sociologists.information about the type of relationship between the people involved. 1. and is reserved for lovers. and new ac4uaintances. children. such as living styles of foreign people. &. .) m9 away.[citation needed %n poker games. and also pet animals. newly formed groups. an ear scratch. (ro"imity may also reveal the type of social setting taking place. there has been huge interest in studying human behavioral clues that could be useful for developing an interactive and adaptive human-machine system. cm9 apart.3s.$. a nose itch. [1& 'nintentional human gestures such as making an eye rub. For e"ample you can recogni@e that you have made eye contact with someone that is 133 or 1&3 feet away with out actually being able to see the detail of a personGs eye. 4. . %ntimate distance ranges from touching to about 1/ inches 7). and a finger lock have been found conveying some useful information in specific conte"ts[which? . a chin rest. crossing arms. Unintentional gestures[edit source | editbeta] See also: Proteans (body language) Beginning in the 11.$ m . cm9 from the person and ending about ) feet 71$$ cm9 away. a head scratch. as well as close family members and friends.) m9 away from the person and is reserved for strangers. 0ome researchers[who? have tried to e"tract such gestures in a specific conte"t for educational applications. 0ocial distance ranges from ) to / feet 71. (ublic distance includes anything more than / feet 7$. such gestures are referred to as 5tells5 and are useful to players for detecting deception clues or behavioral patterns in opponents. [citation needed Eyes[edit source | editbeta] +yes. !here is also a huge interest in learning to avoid any unintentional gesture that might leave a negative impression on the onlookers. and in group discussions. lectures. $. to chat with associates. =ur eyes are highly aware of what we FseeG in other peopleGs eyes. !his space is used in conversations with friends. (ublic distance is essentially that range reserved for larger audiences. is important during interaction in any sort of global community. and is used for speeches. although not first thought of when talking about body language.earning good body language. [1$ (ro"imity range varies with culture. can reveal a lot about how someone feels or how they are thinking about a certain topic. (ersonal distance begins about an armBs length away? starting around 1/ inches 7). and theater.

interest and invitation. which can be a shock response. lying or story telling. it usually means it is a sign of frustration or annoyance.We usually understand a gla@ed over look or a blank stare. When you are listening to someone and have eye contact that generally means you have interest. &idening eyes$ !his indicates appeal. oo!ing left "generally#$ 'sually indicates the person is recalling facts. !he e"ception is when widening eyes are paired with raised eyebrows. . although trained liars have practiced this skill and can copy it well. Aere are some of the signals the eye gives away: oo!ing right "generally#$ 'sually indicates the person is be associated with disbelief about something 7as in checking your vision9 or something that is related to crying or tiredness. %irect eye contact$ When speaking to someone this can be an indication of honesty by that person. But FfactsG can be incorrect. #nother reason pupils dilate is when someone sees something that is appealing to them or attractive. Eye shrug(roll$ When an eye has an upward roll. but other cases 7like telling a story to a child9 it can be perfectly normal to be creating something. [1) )rms[edit source | editbeta] . remembering. 'ubbing eyes$ . attentiveness and some kind of attraction to the person. 'sually interest in someone or something you are looking at.ooking down and right indicates feelings that can be genuine or not depending on the conte"t of what the person is doing. Blin!ing$ When blinking is fre4uent it may be a sign of e"citement or pressure but it is not a reliable way to tell if someone is lying. fabricating. and a positive response. moistened eye that indicated tears would come or a secret glance. Pupils dilated$ !he black center of a personGs eye gets larger to let in light and smaller to let in less light. When the blink rate is infre4uent it usually means boredom if the eyes are not focused or it can mean concentration if the eyes are focused. When it is dark that is one of the reasons pupils are dilated. %n some cases this may mean that the person is making up something. Women tend to widen their eyes to try and increase their attractiveness. !his includes recalling and stating facts from memory. usually the truth. which is another matter all together. 'sually if paired with long blinks then it means the person is tired or bored.

#rms can indicate many things to a person? when they are across your body, it can be a defensive barrier, and when they are by your side, it can mean you feel open and secure. #rms signals are reliable indicators of your mood, more so when combined with other body language symbols. Aere are some signals: Crossed arms$ ;rossed arms usually are associated with protective barrier. !his could be due to a number of things like concern, boredom or feeling threatened. %f the person is cold they will also cross their arms sometimes, which can give off mi"ed signals. *ripping o+n upper arms$ !his can be seen as insecurity in some males and females. %t is a way of self hugging, and attempt to reassure one self. #nother from of self hugging is when you take your one arm across body clasping other arm by side, which is typical in females only. )rms held behind body +ith hands clasped$ !his is a signal of authority or confidence. %t is seen in authoritative figures like police men, and armed forces officers. 6any of the arm signals have to do with nervousness and are done to create a barrier between oneself and the outside world here are some typical barrier signals: handbag held in front of body, papers in front of your chest, adHusting cuff, watchstrap, tie, etc., using an arm across the body, arms8hands covering genital region, holding a drink in front of body with both hands seated, holding drink on one side with hand from other side, touching or scratching shoulder using arm across body [1*

egs and feet[edit source | editbeta]
.egs and feet body language is known for being more authentic than the other signals due to the fact it is harder to fake or do consciously. !his makes it a good indicator of peopleGs feelings. When looking at leg and feet signals we must remember that women and men sit differently. 6en tend to have a more open leg position while women do not, so therefore when a woman sits with open legs it has a different meaning than when a man does. .eg signals are supported by the corresponding arm signals that go along with them.[1, Aere are some signals: eg direction, sitting-general$ When a person is seated they usually have their leg direction pointed in the direction of their point of interest. When they are uninterested in a conversation or a person their legs will point away from them. When legs are crossed the upper knee dictates what they are interested in or disinterested in. Uncrossed legs, sitting-general$ When legs are uncrossed that generally means they have an open attitude no matter if it is male or female.

Crossed legs, sitting-general$ !his usually means they are cautious or disinterested in what is going on, there is a degree of uncertainty. !hey may feel threaten or insecure. Parallel legs$ .egs together generally mean properness when it is concerning a female, this is a very unusual stance in males. !his can be due to the femaleGs upbringing. -pen legs, sitting$ !his is mainly a male posture? this can be associated with arrogance, se"ual posturing or combative feelings. !his is not usually seen in women, especially when in skirts. !his is considered to be combative because it makes the person look bigger than they really are. ;onfidence signals are increased when arms are open and wide. )n!le loc!$ !his is considered to be a negative signal and may mean defensiveness in both men and women. .tanding /at attention0$ this means someone is standing upright with their shoulders back and arms by side. !his is a military position and considered to be a signal of respect and subservience when in the presence of someone in authority. egs intert+ined, sitting$ !his is usually a female stance. Cepending on what is going on this can mean insecurity or se"ual posing. !his would be considered se"ual posing because the tight crossed leg would tend to emphasi@e the muscle and tone of the leg. !his should be assessed while also interpreting other body signals. egs crossed, standing$ !his is different than when legs are crossed when sitting. !his may mean insecurity or8submission or engagement. When legs and arms are crossed it usually means less confident and insecure when Hust the legs are crossed but arms are open it can mean a committed agreement to stand and engage with the other person. .hoe-play$ 'sually seen in females, this can mean rela"ation, flirting and se"ual feelings. %n more case than one, playing with a shoe and slipping it on and off can have se"ual overtones. [1-

.ee also[edit source | editbeta]
• • • • • • • •
;alypsis <esture <esture recognition .ist of gestures =rigin of language =rigin of speech (osture 7psychology9 (aul +kman


'eferences[edit source | editbeta]
1. $. &. ). 1 What %s Body .anguageI 2etrieved Duly $), $31&. 1 http:88en.wikipedia.org8wiki8#nimalJcommunication 1 6c;arthy, 0andra. 5Body .anguage5. 2etrieved 13 #pril $31&. 1 6arkku Aaakana $331. .aughing 6atters: # ;onversation #nalytical 0tudy of .aughter in Coctor - (atient %nteraction. Cepartment of Finnish .anguage, 'niversity of Aelsinki *. 1 +ngleberg,%sa K. Working in <roups: ;ommunication (rinciples and 0trategies. 6y ;ommunication Lit 0eries, $33,. page 1&,. -. 1 5;losed body language5. ; 2etrieved $311-13-&1. 1 (ost. 5!he !imes M 'L Kews, World Kews and =pinion5. ! 2etrieved $311-13-&1. /. 1 Borg, Dames. Body .anguage: - +asy .essons to 6aster the 0ilent .anguage. F! (ress, $313, %0BK 1-/-3-1&--33$,3-& 1. 13. 1 56ore or .ess5. $331-3/-1). BB; 2adio ). 1 (ease, #., N (ease, B. 7$33)9. !he Cefinitive Book of Body .anguage: Aow to read othersB thoughts by their gestures. Buderim, #ustralia: (ease %nternational. 11. 1$. 1 O Aall, +dward !. 711,,9. !he Aidden Cimension. #nchor Books. %0BK 3-&/*-3/)-,-* 1 +ngleberg,%sa K. Working in <roups: ;ommunication (rinciples and 0trategies. 6y ;ommunication Lit 0eries, $33,. page 1)3-1)1 1&. 1 (ease, #llan 7=ctober $1, $33)9. he !e"initi#e guide to Body $anguage. ;hapter 1: =rion 6edia. %0BK 3-*$/,11/$. 1). 1 +kman, (? + 2 0orenson and W > Friesen. 5(an-;ultural +lements in Facial Cisplays of +motion5. Science 234 7) #pr 11,19. 1*. 1,. 1-. 1 Boyes, ; 7$33*9. %eed to &now Body $anguage. Aaper ;ollins. 1 Aartland, C? ; !osh 7$3319. 'uide to Body $anguage. ;a"ton. 1 Dames, Dudi 7$33/9. he Body $anguage Bible. 2andom Aouse.

Body language plays a key role in effective leadership communication. From my most-requested program, “The Silent Language of Leaders !o" Body Language #an !elp $ or !urt $ !o" %ou Lead,& here are ten tips guaranteed to give you a nonver'al advantage(

1) To boost your confidence before an important meeting. replace your smart phone with a newspaper.ecutive )resence-/ Jenna GoudreauForbes Staff .o %ou !ave -*. Top Five )ersonality Traits *mployers !ire +ost Meghan CasserlyForbes Staff .

The 01 Skills That 2ill 3et %ou !ired 4n 5106 Meghan CasserlyForbes Staff 4ntervie" Body Language +istakes That #an #ost %ou The 7o' Jacquelyn SmithForbes Staff +ost 'usiness professionals 4 coach understand the importance of pro8ecting confident 'ody language during an important meeting. say. . a 8o' intervie". or a key sales pitch. 'ut fe" reali9e that ho" they sit "hile "aiting in the reception area has everything to do "ith their initial impression.

arms spread "ide holding an open ne"spaper/ >nd. "idening your stance. "hen you grimace or fro"n "hile doing it. spreading your arms to e.& The 'rain then responds 'y sending stress chemicals into your . . >ccording to research conducted at=ortheastern @niversity. "ith your el'o"s pulled into your "aist and your shoulders hunched/ ?r are you sitting up straight.the hormone linked to po"er and self-confidence< and lo"ers the levels of the stress hormone.< assuming postures that make you look defensive and lacking in confidence.haustion. if you see these “Telltale Four& 'eing displayed together. "hen you are called into the meeting. he encouraged the athletes to smile "hen they got to that point of e. =onver'al cues to all kinds of unconscious givea"ays tend to occur in clusters $ a group of movements.periment. This is crucially true of dishonesty.:esearch from !arvard and #olum'ia BusinessSchools sho"s that holding your 'ody in e. smile. etc. "hen you contract yourself physically.pand into space< raises testosterone . #harles 3arfield. postures and actions that collectively point to a particular state of mind.pansive “high po"er& poses . and leaning a"ay. "atch out !) To make a difficult task seem easier. 4 should stop.haustion.once coached the :ussian ?lympic "eight-lifting team. "here one specific cluster of nonver'al signals has 'een proven statistically to 'e a highly accurate indicator of deception. This seemingly minor difference ena'led them to add 5-6 more reps to their performance. tuck your chin do"n. This hormonal effect is actually reversed. they "ould invaria'ly grimace at the painful effort. face touching. 3arfield noticed that "hen team mem'ers lifted to e. crossed arms. you are sending your 'rain the message. feet firmly on the floor. >re you 'ent over your smart phone. the researchers discovered. the author of Peak Performance.standing tall "ith shoulders pulled 'ack. =o" picture yourself in the reception area "here you are "aiting for that important meeting. look out for these four “the tell-tale” signals.hunch your shoulders. "hich of those t"o hormones is dominating your 'ody chemistry/ 2) To spot a liar. cortisol. “This is really difficult. 4n an e. =o matter the task. These are hand touching.

)ro8ecting po"er. 4Ave noticed that parties are more likely to reach an agreement if they 'egin a negotiation 'y displaying engaged 'ody language .especially if their chair is smaller and lo"er than yours< places them in a competitive .and disadvantageous< position. For e. then arranging your office space as a visual sym'ol of your and your companyAs 'rand can 'e a crucial part of that strategy. "hen you smile. open gestures. 4f creating a colla'orative culture is essential to meeting your 'usiness o'8ectives. and status may 'e a key part of your nonver'al strategy to impress potential clients.smiling. send early engagement signals.ample.'loodstream. nodding. customers. mirroring.<. 4nterestingly. rearrange your office. your 'rain gets the message. then you might "ant to rearrange your office to reflect this. distinctly un"anted messages. >nd this creates a vicious circle the more stressed you are. 4 can do this(& ") To reach an agreement. status and authority cues can send conflicting. “4tAs not so 'ad. 2hen it comes to 'uilding colla'oration "ithin your staff. seating people directly across from your desk . etc. the more difficult the task 'ecomes. and investors $ and if it is. 4nstead. Image credit: AFP/Getty Images via @daylife. authority. ho"ever. #) To encourage collaboration. ?ver the years. that positive result is the same "hether the display "as the product of an unconscious reaction or a strategic decision. #onversely. try putting the .

. or creating a conversation area . 'i. () and (*-+nglish spellings. "n terms of observable body language. and mating relationships Body Language .visitorAs chair at the side of your desk.) .B.uirements when using these materials.technically known as kinesics (pronounced 'kineesicks') . Body Language is therefore very relevant to management and leadership. for e ample in dating and mating. body language how to read body language signs and gestures . non-verbal (non-spoken) signals are being e changed whether these signals are accompanied by spoken words or not. ('.chairs of equal si9e set around a small ta'le or at right angles to each other< to encourage a feeling of informality. !ommunication includes listening.non-verbal communications . %ther people's body language reveals their feelings and meanings to you.g. for work. equality. and a significant aspect of modern communications and relationships. dating. Body language goes both ways# • • $our own body language reveals your feelings and meanings to others. e. and in families and parenting. &he sending and receiving of body language signals happens on conscious and unconscious levels. social.e' and 'ise' are used in this page to allow for different searching preferences. -lease feel free to change these according to your local re. and to all aspects of work and business where communications can be seen and physically observed among people.male and female. Body language is also very relevant to relationships outside of work.

ing) body language seating positions and arrangements body language . dating and mating body language .main body language terms body language references and books other audible signals body language warning Body language is not an exact science.male and female glossary . .body language index introduction and basics body language definitions background and history nature or nurture/ body language and evolution universal facial e pressions reading and analy. Understanding body language involves the interpretation Skip the background theory and history. courtship.e amples of cultural differences flirting. and go straight to the body language signals and body language body language signals and meanings #eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space mirroring (synchroni. No single body language sign is a reliable indicator.

and all these terms are somewhat vague. and less commonly 'non-vocal communications'. 1or the purposes of this article. body language .(sually. Body Language is also referred to as 'non-verbal communications'. &his guide also takes the view that body language2non-verbal communications is the study of how people communicate faceto-face aside from the spoken words themselves. &he term 'non-verbal communications' tends to be used in a wider sense.basics and introduction Body language is a powerful concept which successful people tend to understand well. the terms 'body language' and 'non-verbal communications' are broadly interchangeable.o several consistent signalsto support or indicate a particular conclusion. 1or e ample# 4oes body language include facial e pression and eye movement/ . . revealing its underlying feelings and attitudes. )o can you. so as to translate our body language. and in this respect the treatment of the sub3ect here is broader than typical body language guides limited merely to body positions and gestures. yes. &he study and theory of body language has become popular in recent years because psychologists have been able to understand what we 'say' through our bodily gestures and facial e pressions. "f you carry out any serious analysis or discussion you should clarify the terminology in your own way to suit your purposes.

or in making any firm claims in relation to body language and non-verbal communications. especially as you could ignore them if considering only the spoken words and physical gestures2e pressions.uestions. &here are no absolute right2wrong answers to these . for e ample# "t is commonly and carelessly . 6nd while tone and pitch of voice are part of verbal signals.&his depends on your definition of body language.<-=<9 of all human communications are non-verbal. "t's a matter of interpretation. :ehrabian's research findings in fact focused on communications with a strong emotional or 'feelings' element.'ot normally.5hat about breathing and perspiration/ . which are regarded by many as falling outside of the body language definition. 6 good reason for broadening the scope of body language is to avoid missing important signals which might not be considered within a narrow definition of body language. &his statistic is actually a distortion based on 6lbert :ehrabian's research theory. 'evertheless confusion easily arises if definitions and conte t are not properly established. but arguably so. )o while body language statistics vary according to situation. :oreover the 789 non-verbal proportion included vocal intonation (paralinguistics). which while itself is something of a cornerstone of body language research. !are must therefore be e ercised when stating specific figures relating to percentages of meaning conveyed.uoted that 'non-verbal communications' and2or 'body language' account for up to 789 of the meaning that people take from any human communication. :any body language e perts and sources seem to agree that that between . it is generally accepted that non-verbal communications are very important in how we . "t is safe to say that body language represents a very significant proportion of meaning that is conveyed and interpreted between people. are these part of body language too/ . certainly did not make such a sweeping claim.

uently body language is very influential in forming impressions on first meeting someone. so other people are constantly interpreting and from# • • 5hen we meet someone for the first time. . $ou will shift your own awareness of body language from the unconscious into the conscious by learning about the sub3ect. on conscious and unconscious levels. &he people with the most conscious awareness of. even though much of the time this is happening on an unconscious level. body language tend to have an advantage over those whose appreciation is limited largely to the unconscious. largely determines our initial impression of them. their body language. &he effect happens both ways . especially in face-to-face and one-to-one communications. they form their initial impression of us largely from our body language and non-verbal signals. 6nd this two-way effect of body language continues throughout communications and relationships between people. and this initial instinctual assessment is based far more on what we see and feel about the other person than on the words they speak. 5e form our opinions of someone we meet for the first time in 3ust a few seconds. Body language is especially crucial when we meet someone for the first time. and capabilities to read. >emember . !onse. and most definitely when the communications involve an emotional or attitudinal element. Body language is constantly being e changed and interpreted between people.while you are interpreting (consciously or unconsciously) the body language of other people.understand each other (or fail to). "n turn when someone meets us for the first time. %n many occasions we form a strong view about a new person before they speak a single word.

Body language potentially (although not always. spectacles and clothing our breathing. and other less noticeable physical effects. depending on the definition you choose to apply) encompasses# • • • • • • • how we position our bodies our closeness to and the space between us and other people (pro emics). ?oice type and other audible signals are typically not included in body language because they are audible 'verbal' signals rather than physical visual ones. pitch. nevertheless the way the voice is used is a very significant (usually unconscious) aspect of communication. cigarettes. for e ample our heartbeat and perspiration Body language tends not to include# • the pace. . for instance. and how this changes our facial e pressions our eyes especially and how our eyes move and focus.and then by practising your reading of non-verbal communications in your dealings with others. because a lot happens here which can easily be missed if we consider merely the spoken word and the traditional narrow definition of body language or non-verbal communications. aside from the bare words themselves. body language is more than body positions and movements Body language is not 3ust about how we hold and move our bodies. etc. and intonation. volume. of our voice.. 6rguably this last point should be encompassed by body language. pauses. variation. etc how we touch ourselves and others how our bodies connect with other non-bodily things. pens.

4oing so gives us a significant advantage in life .e more clearly if we try.contribute greatly to mutual assessment and understanding. and which we can all learn how to recogni. %ur interpretation of body language.. which many of us ignore or take for granted. %ur reactions to other people's eyes . are typically e cluded from many general descriptions of body language. :ore obviously. 5ith no words at all. Body language is not 3ust reading the signals in other people. focus.!onse. Importantly.uently.the strong powers of non-verbal communications. &he human body and our instinctive reactions have evolved to an ama. understanding body language enables better self-awareness and self-control too. voice type is always important to consider alongside the usual body language factors.professionally and personally . but are certainly part of the range of non-verbal bodily actions and signals which contribute to body language in its fullest sense. and with a little thought and knowledge we can significantly increase our conscious awareness of these signals# both the signals we transmit. massive feeling can be conveyed in a single glance. consciously and unconsciously. is instinctive. . notably eyes and facial e pressions. "t's based on scientific fact .ingly clever degree. etc. &hese effects .and similar powerful e amples . our eyes are a vital aspect of our body language. e pression. and the signals in others that we observe. &he metaphor which describes the eyes of two lovers meeting across a crowded room is not only found in old romantic movies. )imilarly breathing and heartbeat.movement.have e isted in real human e perience and behaviour for thousands of years.and their reactions to our eyes . etc .in our dealings with others.

the terms body language and non-verbal communications are rather vague. if we are to make the most of studying and using it/ &he % ford +nglish 4ictionary (revised @<<. 6ppropriately and interestingly the % ford Business +nglish 4ictionary emphasi.depends on the interpretation of 'nonverbal communication'# . )o what is body language/ 6nd more the sense that body language can be used as a tool. what might we regard it to be. which generates a positive improvement in the way we feel.5e understand more about other people's feelings and meanings. 5hen we understand body language we become better able to refine and improve what our body says about us.the technical term for body language . the way we perform.A &he % ford Business +nglish 4ictionary offers a slightly different definition.) definition is# Abody language .the conscious and unconscious movements and postures by which attitudes and feelings are communicated Bfor e ampleC# his intent was clearly e pressed in his body language. body language definitions 6s e plained.the process of communicating what you are feeling or thinking by the way you place and move your body rather than by words Bfor e ampleC# &he course trains sales people in reading the customer's body language.noun . and we also understand more about these things in ourselves.A &he %+4 dictionary definition of kinesics . rather than it being an involuntary effect with no particular purpose# Abody language .noun . and what we achieve.

A Body language is more than those brief descriptions. facial expression and eye movement. 5e could define body language more fully as# "Body language is the unconscious and conscious transmission and interpretation of feelings. and . ob ects and surroundings." 5ords alone . and moods. movement. standard dictionary definitions don't always describe body language fully and properly. !and this transmission and interpretation can be "uite different to the spoken words#. blushing. Body language certainly also includes very small bodily movements such as facial e pressions and eye movements. etc.especially emotional words (or words used in emotional situations) . Being able to 'read' body language therefore helps us greatly# • to know how people feel and what they mean.Akinesics .the study of the way in which certain body movements and gestures serve as a form of non-verbal communication. physical state. • • • Body language certainly also encompasses where the body is in relation to other bodies (often referred to as 'personal space'). perspiration. Body language also arguably covers all that we communicate through our bodies apart from the spoken words (thereby encompassing breathing.rarely reflect full or true meaning and motive. blood-pressure. pulse. position and relationship to other bodies. attitudes. 5e find clues to additional or true meaning in body language. through: • • body posture.) "n this respect.

.• • to understand better how people might be perceiving our own non-verbal signals. DG<. for e ample 1rancis Bacon in 6dvancement of Learning. :uch of this early interest was in refining ideas about oration . and (often overlooked) to understand ourselves better. considered hand gestures. 5here ethology considers animal evolution and communications. relating gestures to feelings and communications.ation. but there seems little substantial development of ideas for at least the ne t D. &he first known e perts to consider aspects of body language were probably the ancient Ereeks. Eilbert 6ustin's !hironomia in D=<G looked at using gestures to improve speech-making.speech-making . notably !icero. "t became properly established during the early D7<<s and increasingly e tends to human behaviour and social organi. +thology began as the science of animal behaviour. "solated studies of body language appeared in more recent times. !harles 4arwin in the late D=<<s could be regarded as the earliest e pert to have made serious scientific observation about body language. through their interest in human personality and behaviour. deeper than the words we hear ourselves saying. Body language studies and written works on the sub3ect are very sparse until the mid-D7<<s. but only in living memory has the study of body language become as sophisticated and detailed as it is today. e plored gestures as reflection or e tension of spoken communications. notably Fippocrates and 6ristotle. it relates . 4arwin's work pioneered much ethological thinking. mood and personality for thousands of years. and the >omans.< years.given its significance to leadership and government. body language .background and history -hilosophers and scientists have connected human physical behaviour with meaning. Hohn Bulwer's 'atural Fistory of the Fand published in DGII.

etc . )cheflen. like psychology. as is the evolutionary biologist >ichard 4awkins (b.<s and D7G<s.strongly to human body language. albeit not recognised as such then. 6ustrian . including personal space. is an over-arching science which continues to clarify the understanding of body language. written in D=J@.A Hulius 1ast was an 6merican award winning writer of fiction and non-fiction work dealing especially with human physiology and behaviour. Fall.and society's growing acceptance of evolutionary rather than creationist theory.oologist and D7J8 'obel -ri. reflecting the evolutionary origins of much human non-verbal communication .would have had good awareness of many aspects of body language.. 4esmond :orris. &he popular and accessible study of body language as we know it today is very recent. 6ll e cept one of Hulius 1ast's cited works are from the D7. )ignificantly the references in Hulius 1ast's book (Birdwhistell. Hulius 1ast (D7D7@<<=) wrote# A. Eoffman. "n his popular D7JD book 'Body Language'. which is commonly regarded as the beginnings of the body language science. discussed below. author of &he 'aked 6pe.ewinner *onrad Loren. (D7<8-=7) was a founding figure in ethology. :ehrabian. &he e ception among 1ast's contemporary influences was !harles 4arwin. )igmund 1reud and others in the field of psychoanalysis .see body language references and books below) indicate the freshness of the sub3ect in D7JD..kinesics Bbody languageC is still so new as a science that its authorities can be counted on the fingers of one hand. including body language. but they did not focus on non-verbal communications concepts or develop body language theories .. +thologists have progressively applied their findings to human behaviour.. Fis book Body Language was among the first to bring the sub3ect to a mainstream the late D=<<s and early D7<<s . D7ID) a leading modern thinker in the field. is an ethologist. +thology. and specifically his book &he + pression of the +motions in :an and 6nimals.

6 different view of human behaviour related to and overlapping body language. and in follow-up books such as "ntimate Behaviour. D7JD. &he ancient roots of this concept demonstrate that while body language itself is a recently defined system of analysis.oologist and ethologist. a British .uite early 'scientific' thinking can be traced# $hysiognomy is an obscure and related concept to body language. deriving from the Ereek word kinesis. an . meaning motion. &he word physiognomy is derived from medieval Latin. the notion of inferring human nature or character from facial e pression is e tremely old.for a better understanding of how and why we feel and act and communicate. linked human behaviour . -hysiognomy refers to facial features and e pressions which were2are said indicate the person's character or nature. and while his theories did not focus strongly on body their own right. &he word kinesics was first used in +nglish in this sense in the D7. 1reud and similar psychoanalysts and psychologists of that time were focused on behaviour and therapeutic analysis rather than the study of non-verbal communications per se. %inesics (pronounced 'kineesicks' with stress on the 'ee') is the modern scientific or technical word for body language. Fis work remains a popular and controversial perspective for understanding people's behaviours. 6n important aspect of body language is facial e pression. :orris's popularity in the late D7G<s and D7J<s contributed significantly to the increasing interest among people beyond the scientific community .<s. which originally meant (the art or capability of) 3udging a person's nature from his2her facial features and e pressions. or ethnic human 'animalistic' evolution.much of it concerned with communications . which is arguably one part of body language for which . and seems to have first been used by 4r >ay Birdwhistell. surfaced strongly in 4esmond :orris's D7GJ book &he 'aked 6pe. and earlier Ereek (phusiognominia). :orris.

in terms of conveying meaning and information via physical movement and e perience. >ay Birdwhistell coined the term kine to refer to a single body language signal. &he word is Fall's adaptation of the word pro imity. which in one way is a pity. $roxemics is the technical term for the personal space aspect of body language. figures words and logic.<s researcher and writer on body language.<s. &he Ereek word kinesis is also a root word of kinaesthetics.are all different perspectives and attempts to unlock and develop people's potential using ideas centred around kinaesthetics.did not e ist until the D7. the concepts of e periential learning. 'either word seems to have caught on in a big way. 1or e ample. *inaesthetics (also known as kinesthetics) in the study of learning styles. and love and spirituality at work . is related to some of the principles of body language.generally comes after the establishment of the sub3ect it describes. &his is not to be confused with the ancient and same word kine.6merican D7. an 6merican anthropologist. but in another way probably makes matters simpler for anyone interested in the body language of cows. as distinct from the more tangible and easily measurable areas of facts. &he introduction of a new technical word .<s or early D7G<s by +dward &witchell Fall. which supports the assertion that the modern concept of body language .) 1rom the word kinesics. ()ee personal space.encompassing facial e pressions and personal space . meaning a group of cows. Body language is among many branches of science and education which seek to interpret and e ploit messages and meaning from the 'touchy-feely' side of life. kinesics) . meaning closeness or nearness. which is the '*' in the ?6* ('see hear feel') learning styles model. . &he word was devised in the late D7. ()ee references). games and e ercises.(in this case.

but there are very strong interconnections. and opinions vary. &he communications concepts of 'L. 'L. Bruner and &aguiri's (see references) opposing views .for one aspect of body language or another. after thirty years of D7G7.&hese and similar methodologies do not necessarily reference body language directly. and +kman.especially. Bloom's &a onomy. due to evolutionary theory.studies 'proving' genetic or environmental cause 'nature' or 'nurture' . the precise mi ture of genetic (inherited) and environmental (learned or conditioned) influences is not the early D7. they largely re3ected the notion that facial e pressions were inborn. but as with many other aspects of human behaviour. in life and work today.('euro-linguistic -rogramming) and &ransactional 6nalysis are closely dependent on understanding body language. having discovered consistent emotional-facial recognition across widely diverse cultural groups. &o emphasise the shifting debate he cited for e ample# • • • 4arwin's belief that human facial e pressions were similar among humans of all cultures. &he discussion has continued in a similar vein to the modern day .<s. 1riesan and )orensen's findings (see references) . and *olb's Learning )tyles are also helpful perspectives in appreciating the significance of kinaesthetics. Hulius 1ast noted this. especially regarding facial e pressions. "s this nature or nurture/ . body language .nature or nurture& Body language is part of human evolution. and therefore body language. &he situation is made more comple when one considers the genetic (inherited) capability or inclination to learn body language. which supported 4arwin's evolutionary-centred ideas.

Body language is partly genetic (inborn . &he use and recognition of certain fundamental facial e pressions are now generally accepted to be consistent and genetically determined among all humans regardless of culture. which in turn feeds back into the purpose of body language at conscious and unconscious levels. Body language is part 'nature' and part 'nurture'. )ome body language is certainly genetically inherited and consistent among all humans. body language and evolution &he evolutionary perspectives of body language are fascinating. %ther body language is certainly not. Fowever the use and recognition of less fundamental physical gestures (hand movements for e ample. . rather than inherited). or the winking of an eye). ()ee the 'other audible signals' section. in terms of its purpose and how it is e ploited.and partly environmental (conditioned2learned . and aspects of personal space distances. are now generally accepted to be environmentally determined (learned.'nature') ."t's both. !ertain vocal intonation speech variations (if body language is e tended to cover everything but the spoken words) also fall within this environmentally determined category. and partly learned or conditioned. which is significantly dependent on local society groups and cultures.) "n summary.hugely so in certain aspects of body language . we can be certain that body language (namely the conscious and unconscious sending and receiving of nonverbal signals) is partly inborn.'nurture').

+arlier than this. connecting us to kindred souls. has become a popular interest and science in the last few decades. Body language has evolved in spite of human awareness and conscious intelligence# rather like a guardian angel. (&ransactional 6nalysis theory is very useful in understanding more about this. our cavemen ancestors certainly needed to read body language. and pretend. if only because no other language e isted.. and controlling their own signals.body language often helps people to communicate and resolve relationship issues when conscious behaviour and speech fails to do so. deceive. humans try to imagine what another person has in their mind. &he winners had not only to be handy with a si -shooter. +arly natural e ponents of interpreting body language were for e ample the poker players of the 6merican 5ild 5est.uently mask their true feelings. Body language helps us to manage and guard against these tendencies. . e plorers and tribal leaders had to be able to read the body language of potential foes . if only to a small degree in some folk. body language can help take care of know whether to trust or defend or attack.Fuman beings tend to lie. 5hile the importance of body language in communications and management. &he need to understand what lies behind the mask obviously increases according to the importance of the relationship. etc. and protecting us from threats. manipulate. but also skilled in reading other people's non-verbal signals. human beings have relied on body language instinctively in many ways for many thousands of years. "t's in our nature to do this. and also . Before these times.significantly especially in flirting2dating2mating rituals . 1or various reasons people intentionally and fre.) "n e pectation of these 'masking' tendencies in others.

the six universal facial expressions recogni'ed around the world "t is now generally accepted that certain basic facial e pressions of human emotion are recogni. which for many e tends to the human variety. we would not be here today. 5omen tend to have more empathic sensitivity than men.uential threat to life.Fumans have also learned to read the body language of animals (and vice-versa). but their body language capabilities generally continue typically to be stronger than the male of the species. :onty >oberts. %n which point# 5omen tend to have better perception and interpretation of body language than men. *atherine Ben. the real life 'Forse 5hisperer' is a good e ample. 5ere these factors not in our genes. although humans almost certainly had greater skills in this area a long time ago. &hus. women tend to be able to employ body language (for sending and interpreting signals) more effectively than men. &his is perhaps a feature of evolutionary survival.ed around the world .iger's theories of brain types and thinking styles provides useful additional perspective. 1emales might not be so physically vulnerable in modern times. are in our genes. Body language. men and women with strong empathic sensitivity (typically right-basal or rear brain bias) tend to be better at picking up body language signals. horse-riders and animal trainers throughout time and still today have good capabilities in reading animal body language. and the reading of non-verbal communications and feelings.and that the use and recognition of these e pressions is . )hepherds. 6side from gender differences. since females needed good body language skills to reduce their physical vulnerability to males and the conse. limb and offspring. which naturally aids body language awareness and capabilities.

-aul +kman. and not dependent on social learning or conditioning. and essentially proved that 4arwin was right . recogni. "n the D7G<s a !alifornian psychiatrist and e pert in facial e pressions.ed. the following basic human emotions are generally used.. +kman's work notably included isolated tribes-people who could not have been influenced by 5estern media and images. &his book incidentally initially far outsold &he %rigin of )pecies.genetically inherited rather than socially conditioned or learned.e them are inborn and universal among people. published in D=J@.e. genetically inherited. 4arwin's assertions about genetically inherited facial e pressions remained the sub3ect of much debate for many years.that certain facial e pressions and man's ability to recogni. and part of humankind's genetic character# &hese emotional face e pressions are# • • • • • • Fappiness )adness 1ear 4isgust )urprise 6nger !harles 4arwin was first to make these claims in his book &he + pressions of the +motions in :an and 6nimals.i. that the use and recognition of facial e pressions to convey certain basic human emotions is part of human evolved nature. such was its wide (and controversial) appeal at the time. 5hile there have been found to be minor variations and differences among obscurely isolated tribes-people. . (with )orenson and 1riesen see references) conducted and published e tensive studies with people of various cultures to e plore the validity of 4arwin's theory .

-erhaps infinitely so. )ome 'body language' isn't what it seems at all. @<<D . or upset. based on e perience and observation.see references). rather than being tired .e. Eiven the potential for confusion. rather than scientific test. given that the human body is said to be capable of producing J<<. for e ample# • • • )omeone rubbing their eye might have an irritation. 6s with other behavioural sciences. 5e should e pect to see this effect continuing and providing more solid science for body language theory. sufficient samples(evidence 6 single body language signal isn't as reliable as several signals# . here are some considerations when analysing body language# context Body language also depends on conte t# body language in a certain situation might not mean the same in another. rather than concealing a lie. much of which remains empirical.or disbelieving. rather than being defensive.body language analysis Body language is instinctively interpreted by us all to a limited degree.<<< different movements (Fartland and &osh. )omeone with crossed arms might be keeping warm. but the sub3ect is potentially immensely comple . i. feelings and thoughts. &his dramatically accelerated the research and understanding into connections between the brain. )omeone scratching their nose might actually have an itch. the study of body language benefited from the development of brain-imaging technology in the last part of the @<th century. and body movement..

"n general this article offers interpretations applicable for 5estern culture. 'clusters' of body language signals provide much more reliable indication of meaning than one or two signals in isolation. If you can suggest any different ethnic interpretations of body language please send them and I*ll broaden the guide accordingly. . a situation made worse because this sort of misunderstanding tends to peak when emotions are facial e pressions above). especially for signals which can mean two or more . culture(ethnicity !ertain body language is the same in all people. :anagement and customer service staff are particularly prone to misreading or reacting inappropriately to body language signals from people of different ethnic backgrounds. body language is relative to age and gender :any body language signals are relative. -ersonal space preferences (distances inside which a person is uncomfortable when someone encroaches) can vary between people of different ethnicity. )ee e amples of cultural body language differences below.uite different things. Look for combinations of signals which support an overall conclusion. )wareness of possible cultural body language differences is especially important in today*s increasingly mixed societies. for e ample smiling and frowning (and see thesi universally recogni. but some body language is specific to a culture or ethnic group. 6void interpreting only single signals.6s with any system of evidence.

Looking for 'micro gestures' (pupils's important to do so in relative terms. boredom. compared to the same gesture used by a different person in a different situation. or very little meaning. Fowever while a degree of faking is possible. nervousness and insecurity signals . are e amples of signals which can be . adopt more modest postures. )o when assessing body language . an eyebrow lifts. but we cannot control them. faking(deception )ome people artificially control their outward body language to give the impression they seek to create at the time. it is not possible for someone to control or suppress all outgoing signals.6 gesture by one person in a certain situation can carry far more. &hese micro gestures are very small. $oung men for e ample often display a lot of pronounced gestures because they are naturally energetic. hence their usefulness. are less energetic. uninhibited and supple. and to seek as many indicators as possible. but sometimes more consistently. difficult to spot and are subconscious. considering the type of person and situation involved. -oliticians and manipulative salespeople come to mind for some reason.especially the strength of signals and meanings .uite easily be 'faked' usually temporarily. and are prevented by clothing and upbringing from e hibiting very pronounced gestures. especially subtle clues when suspecting things might not be what they seem. &his is an additional reason to avoid superficial analysis based on isolated signals. %lder women. corner of the mouth twitch) can help identify the true meaning and motive behind one or two strong and potentially false signals. relatively. or direct eye contact. 6 confident firm handshake.

not the person . here are e amples of circumstances which can produce negative feelings and signals in people. insecurity. however proper interpretation of body language should look beyond the person and the signal . 6sk yourself# 5hat is causing the negative feelings giving rise to the negative signals/ "t is often the situation. .using body language analysis alone. an iousness. when analysing body language# 6re there e ternal factors affecting the mood and condition of the individual concerned/ 4o not 3ump to conclusions .especially negative ones . especially if you are using body language within personal development or management. etc.newness .and consider the situation. disinterest.:any body language signals indicate negative feelings such as boredom.change 6sk yourself. &he temptation on seeing such signals is to imagine a weakness on the part of the person e hibiting them. often even if they are strong and confident# • • • • • • • • • • dominance of a boss or a teacher or other person perceived to be in authority overloading a person with new knowledge or learning tiredness stress caused by anything cold weather or cold conditions lack of food and drink illness or disability alcohol or drugs being in a minority or feeling e cluded unfamiliarity .for e ample. &his can be so.

especially if displayed as subtle movements in a group of people and if your mind is on other things . :ore signals and meanings will be added. )ome of these signs have obvious meaningsK others not so. &his is a guide. and this applies especially until you've developed good capabilities of reading body language signs. 5hat may be 'obvious' in one culture can mean something different in another culture. meaning and motive. body language signs translation &he body language signals below are grouped together according to parts of the body. signs and other factors . Body language should not be used alone for making serious decisions about people. &his is a summary of the main body language signals. &his guide is based on '5estern 5orld' and 'orth +uropean behaviours. &his is a general guide."uick reference guide 5hen translating body language signals into feelings and meanings remember that one signal does not reliably indicate a I make no apology for including *obvious* body language in this guide. 6lso remember that cultural differences influence body language signals and their interpretation.body language . +ven *obvious* signs can be missed . . !lusters of signals more reliably indicate meaning. Body language is one of several indicators of mood.translation of gestures. . not an absolutely reliable indicator.eft and right are for the person giving the signals and making the movements.

but we recognise them when we see them and we know what they mean.and especially our highly developed awareness of what we see in other people's eyes . No single body language sign is a reliable indicator. eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space eyes .8<-I< metres away or more sometimes . we can see whether another person's eyes are focused on us or not.ed over' blank stare. and "'ll add them. 1ar too far away to be able to see the detail of a person's eyes . a piercing look. 1or e ample we know if we have eye contact with someone at an almost unbelievable distance. . 5e probably cannot describe these and many other eye signals. and this ability seems to be inborn.we know when there is eye contact. and an awkward or secret glance.)uggest any other signals that you wish to know. a moistening eye long before tears come. and we can detect easily the differences between a 'gla.are incredible. "ncredibly also.body language %ur eyes are a very significant aspect of the non-verbal signals we send to others. &o a lesser or greater e tent we all 'read' people's eyes without knowing how or why. body language warning Body language is not an exact science. Understanding body language involves the interpretation o several consistent signals to support or indicate a particular conclusion. &his is an absolutely awesome capability when you think about it. +yes .

retrieving % acts% . (Left and right are for the person giving the signals and making the movements) +yes tend to look right when the brain is imagining or creating. and the fle ibility of the eyes to widen and close. looking right (generally) eyes creating. &his relates to right and left sides of the brain . typically in trying to arrive at a vie# looking left (generally) eyes recalling. Looking right when stating facts does not necessarily mean lying . storytelling !reating here is basically making things up and saying them. this #ould be per ectly could for e ample mean that the person does not know the answer. signal part possible of meaning(s) body detailed explanation Left and right are for the person giving the signals and making the movements. remembering. #hich again can be a per ectly genuine response or not.5hen we additionally consider the eyelids. and left when the brain is recalling or remembering. guessing. and for the pupils to enlarge or contract. $ooking right and do#n indicates accessing eelings. when the person is supposed to be recalling facts. &ecalling and and then stating % acts% rom memory in appropriate context o ten e'uates to telling the truth. &his is analysed in greater detail below. but in other circumstances. storytelling to a child. $e t do#n#ard looking indicates silent sel +conversation or sel +talk. and is talking hypothetically or speculating or guessing. (nder certain circumstances 'creating' can mean fabrication or lying. or example. ) note about eyes looking right and left. "epending on context this can indicate lying. depending on the context. chiefly based on 'L.theory developed in the D7G<s.beware). this conte t broadly the parts of the brain handling creativity2feelings (right) and facts2memory (left). abricating.. especially (but not always . (hether the % acts% )memories* are correct is another matter. and to an extent the person. it becomes easier to understand how the eyes have developed such potency in human communications.

"irect eye contact is generally regarded as a sign o truth ulness. lying &elated to imagination and creative )right+side* parts o the brain.looking le t suggests recalling or remembering + not abricating or imagining. Thinking things through by sel +talk + concerning an out#ard vie#. looking right sideways eyes imagining sounds looking right and down eyes accessing eelings looking left and up eyes recalling images truth ulness looking left sideways eyes recalling or remembering sounds looking left down eyes sel +talking. abrication. rather than creating or imagining. This is a creative signal but not a abrication + it can signal that the person is sel +'uestioning their eelings about direct eye contact (when speaking) direct eye contact (when listening) eyes honesty + or aked honesty eyes attentiveness. . rationali. /yes #hich stay ocused on the speakers eyes. &elated to accessing memory in the brain.or decision. rather than the in#ard eelings vie# indicated by do#n#ard right looking. Side#ays eye movements are believed to indicate imagining )right* or recalling )le t* sounds. #hich can include or example a person imagining or abricating #hat another person has said or could say. reassuring sign i signalled #hen the person is recalling and stating acts. !ontext particularly+ and other signals + are important or interpreting more speci ic meaning about this signal. #hich is normally a sign o attraction to the person and0or the sub1ect. interest. this up#ards right eye+ movement can be a #arning sign o abrication i a person is supposed to be recalling and stating acts. $ooking side#ays suggests sounds. attraction . ho#ever practised liars kno# this and #ill ake the signal. looking eyes right and up visual imagining. This there ore could indicate recalling #hat has been said by another person. tend to indicate ocused interested attention too.

although the origins o this e ect are unproven. The cause o the attraction depends on the situation. 2 the signal is accompanied by a long pronounced blink. pressure . 2n #omen especially #idened eyes tend to increase attractiveness. tiredness as i checking the vision. not necessarily a need or sleep.. Blink rate is not a reliable sign eye shrug eyes pupils dilated (enlarged) eyes attraction. 3ormal human blink rate is considered to be bet#een six and t#enty times a minute. upset. #hich can be due boredom. "arkness causes pupils to dilate. in #hich the action relates to crying. but aside rom this. Signi icantly more than this is a sign o excitement or pressure. bedtime. or some reason does seeing something appealing or attractive. So too. and the associated signals o attraction and prompting urges to protect and o er love and care. invitation (idening the eyes generally signals interest in something or someone. or upset.n up#ard roll o the eyes signals rustration or exasperation. 2n the case o sexual attraction the e ect can be mutual + dilated pupils tend to be more appealing sexually that contracted ones. perhaps because o an instinctive association #ith darkness.widening eyes eyes interest. rustration . #idening eyes represents an opening and #elcoming expression. or tiredness. The pupil is the black centre o the eye #hich opens or closes to let in more or less light. depending on the expert. rubbing eye eyes or eyes disbelie . and o ten invites positive response. Blink rate can increase to up to a hundred times a minute. or &ubbing eyes or one eye can indicate disbelie . (idened eyes #ith raised eyebro#s can other#ise be due to shock. night+ time. #hich is believed by some body language experts to relate to the eye0 ace proportions o babies. &esist the temptation to imagine that everyone you see #ith dilated pupils is sexually attracted to you. etc. appeal. etc. as i looking to the heavens or help. this tends to support the tiredness interpretation. desire blinking fre uently eyes excitement.

. complicity )e. and is there ore not the most revealing o body language signals. and in many situations more than a kiss on the cheek.dditionally + and this #as partly the sense in #hich Bush used it + a #ink can signal a shared 1oke or secret. .e. 4uickly raising and lo#ering the eyebro#s is called an %eyebro# lash%. The uss #as made because a #ink is 'uite an intimate signal. 5ear and surprise are also signalled by the eyebro# lash. and is associated #ith male lirting. 6uch uss #as made in 6ay 7889 #hen :eorge ( Bush #inked at the 4ueen. directed exclusively rom one person to another.o lying. 2t is strange that a non+contact #ink can carry more personal implications than a physical handshake. 2n re'uent blink rate can also be accompanied by signals o hostility or negativity. ackno#ledgement winking eyes riendly ackno#ledgement. sharing a secret or 1oke* eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space mouth . eyebrow raising (eyebrow !flash!) eyes greeting. until the initial shock subsides.. #ink is given additional spice i accompanied by a click o the tongue. or can be the opposite + concentration + i accompanied #ith a strongly ocused ga.n in re'uent blink rate is probably due to boredom i the eyes are not ocused. 2t is a common signal o greeting and ackno#ledgement. recognition. and is perhaps genetically in luenced since it is prevalent in monkeys )body language study does not sit entirely happily alongside creationism*. .g. 3ot many people can carry it o . blinking eyes infre uently various 2n re'uent blink rate can mean di erent things and so o ers no single clue unless combined #ith other signals. in #hich case the eyebro#s normally remain raised or longer.body language .

for whatever reason. teeth concealed. 6s a general rule real smiles are symmetrical and produce creases around the eyes and mouth. so there's a lot more potential for variety of signalling.&he mouth is associated with very many body language signals. is ixed or longer than a natural smile. dropped"#aw mouth smile aked smile 6ore o a practised ake smile than an instinctive one.uite independently. Stretched across ace in a straight line. performing a central role in facial e pressions. The smiler has a secret they are not going to share. which connects psychologically through later life with feelings of security. the mouth acts . !an also be a re1ection signal. The 1a# is dropped lo#er than . possibly due to dislike or distrust. tend to be mouth-only gestures. signal part of body mouth possible meaning(s) aked smile detailed explanation pasted smile . but also those connected with infant feeding. and is a tremendously fle ible and e pressive part of the body too. &he mouth can be touched or obscured by a person's own hands or fingers. &he mouth also has more visible moving parts than other sensory organs. another reason for it deserving separate detailed consideration. whereas fake smiles. This typically indicates suppressed displeasure or orced agreement o some sort. which are generally only brought into body language action by the hands or fingers. and seems not to extend to the eyes. pasted smile is one #hich appears 'uickly. )miling is a big part of facial body language. (nlike the nose and ears. love and se . which is not surprising given its functions .obviously speech. tight"lipped smile mouth secrecy or #ithheld eelings twisted smile mouth mixed eelings Sho#s opposite emotions on each side o the or sarcasm ace.

coy mouth upset . as an e ort to dispel tension or change the atmosphere. but more likely to be anxiousness. 3atural laughter can extend to all the upper body or #hole body. <ne o many signals suggesting tension or stress. Pain and stress reduces. laughter mouth relaxation forced laughter mouth nervousness. Bear in mind that people cry or reasons o genuine upset. #hich can be due to high concentration. /ndorphins are released. due to suppression o natural reaction. 2n#ardly+directed %displacement% )see body language glossary* sign. The physiology o laughter is signi icant.lso vulnerabilities sho# and can become more visible because people%s guard drops #hen laughing. suppression smoking mouth sel +com orting Smoking obviously becomes habitual and addictive. . the act o #hich creates a smile. but aside rom this people put things into their mouths because it%s com orting like . or to avert attack and seek sympathy or kind treatment.ead tilted side#ays and do#n#ards so as to part hide the ace. . $ike rubbing eyes can be an adult version o crying. Unnatural laughter is o ten a signal o nervousness or stress. so 1utting or pushing the bottom lip or#ard is a part o the crying ace and impulse. smile " head tilted$ looking up bottom lip #utting out mouth play ulness. 2n terms o body language genuine laughter is a sign o relaxation and eeling at ease. due to suppression o natural reaction due to ear or other suppressant. $aughter deserves a section in its o#n right because its such an interesting area.rti icial laughter is a signal o cooperation and a #ish to maintain empathy. cooperation biting lip mouth tension teeth grinding chewing gum mouth tension. rom #hich the smile is directed via the eyes at the intended target. or as a smoking replacement. a natural smile. <ther#ise ho#ever can simply be to reshen breath. . suppression mouth tension.s above + an in#ardly+directed %displacement% sign.

pursing lips mouth thought ulness. &emember that next time you che# the end o your pen. thumb" sucking mouth sel +com orting . The cause o the stress can be various things )stressors*. <r 'uite di erently can indicate upset. clampedover 0 holding back. sel +com orting impulse in babies and children. . Stress in this context is an outcome. #hich can persist as a habit into adulthood. Stress doesn%t cause nail+biting. . See the stress article or more detail about stress.s i holding the #ords in the mouth until they or upset are ready to be released.thumb+sucking is to a child. The gesture is reminiscent o the %speak no evil% #ise monkey.nail+ biting is the out#ard demonstration o stress. /xtreme versions o the same e ect #ould involve both hands.. The gesture may be extremely subtle. mouth disapproval. in turn rooted in baby experiences o eeding and especially breast eeding. as i suppressing crying. and a s'uint o the eyes. $ater nail+biting becomes rein orced as a com orting habit. The action can be observed very clearly in young children #hen they #itness something %unspeakably% naughty or shocking. mouth hands shock nail biting mouth rustration.n extreme version may be accompanied by a #rinkling o the nose.. or some other suppression o behaviour. or or more tactical reasons. substituting breast+ eeding. The pen or pencil is the teat. tongue poke hand mouth suppression. again typically prompted by rustration or ear. embarrassment. < ten an unconscious gesture o sel +regulation + stopping speech or reasons o shock. chewing pen mouth sel +com orting $ike smoking and in ant thumbsucking. 0 re1ection tongue The tongue extends brie ly and slightly at the centre o the mouth as i tasting something nasty. !an also indicate anxiousness or impatience at not being able to speak. 3ail+biting is an in#ardly+redirected aggression borne o ear. 0 suppression hands eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space .

>igorous head nodding signi ies that the listener eels the speaker has made their point or taken slow head nodding head attentive listening fast head nodding head hurry up.head . our eyes and our hands. withdraw. due to a very fle ible neck structure. are the most powerful parts of our body in sending body language signals. 3odding is con usingly and rather da tly also re erred to as %head shaking up and do#n%. &he face. 6ll of these movements have meanings. and in defensive (self-protection) body language too. 6 person's head.s #ith all body language signals you must look or clusters o signals rather than relying on one alone. can turn. but it is also vital and vulnerable being where our brain is. forwards. . so the head is used a lot in directional (likes and dislikes) body language.ead nodding can occur #hen invited or a response. . and a face. $ook at the ocus o eyes to check the validity o slo# head therefore dynamic and busy in communicating all sorts of messages consciously and unconsciously.ead nodding #hen talking ace+to+ ace one+to+one is easy to see. or voluntarily #hile listening. ears. &he head .when our hands interact with it . backwards. impatience . 3ut forward. which has more comple and visible muscular effects than any other area of the body.body language &he head is very significant in body language. &he head tends to lead and determine general body direction. nose. but do you al#ays detect tiny head nods #hen addressing or observing a group= This can be a aked signal. &he head usually has hair. signal part possible of meaning(s) body head agreement detailed explanation head nodding . which given some thought about other signals can be understood. tilt sideways. eyes.

. indicating %time%s up + get o %. arrogance head non+ threatening. earlessness. usually #ith an open or undecided mind. and a di erent vie# is seen o the other person or sub1ect. The strength o movement o the head usually relates to strength o eeling. and o ten to the orce by #hich the head+shaker seeks to send this message to the receiver. thought ulness .ead tilted do#n#ards to#ards a person is admonishment commonly a signal o criticism or reprimand or up% something. but o ten ignored or missed #here the movement is small. alertness head superiority. pronounced head strong head disagreement shaking . .su icient time. rustration or exasperation. <bvious o course. but can also signal eelings o disbelie . . or lack o bias. /specially i exhibited #ith 1utting chin. . submissive. #hich in turn suggests a level o trust.ead tilting is thought by some to relate to %si.ead or#ard and upright is di erent to head tilted do#n#ard. usually rom a position o authority. This is an immensely po#er ul signal and is used intentionally by some people to dominate others. #here the movement can be a distinct and signi icant advancement into a closer personal space . head disagreement Side#ays shaking o the head generally indicates disagreement. signal o interest. since tilting the head changes the perspective o ered by the eyes. 5ast head nodding is rather like the %#ind+up% hand gesture given o +camera or o + stage by a producer to a per ormer. especially in groups seemingly reacting in silent acceptance.igh head position signi ies attentive listening. head forward$ upright head interest. commonly o the other person. . The rule also applies to a or#ard leaning upper body. 0 positive body reaction head tilted downward head shaking head criticism. /xposing the neck is also a sign o trust. and0or vulnerability. head held up head held high head tilted to one side head neutrality. but also standing.ead or#ard in the direction o a person or other sub1ect indicates interest.

Smiles and other expressions are relevant too. (in response disinterested to a speaker or proposition) head down (while performing an activity) head de eat.n exposed neck is also a sign o con idence. . and it #idens the shoulders. de iance. and %don%t let your head go do#n%. attraction eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space arms . Silences are used to absorb meaning. especially in sports and competitive activities.ence the expressions such as %don%t let your head drop%. etc.olding the chin up naturally alters the angle o the head back#ards. resilience.body language . . The head and ace are seen to respond ittingly and appropriately to #hat is being said by the speaker. shame. although at times might lo#er to look at the mouth. 0 ace interest.head down head negative. resistance.ead do#n #hen responding to criticism is a signal o ailure. pride. con idence active listening head attention. . . #hich dra#s in air. increasing the signs o #eakness at that moment. tiredness . %!hin up% is or these reasons a long+standing expression used to encourage someone to be brave. (hen people are listening actively and responsively this sho#s in their acial expression and their head movements. or eeling ashamed. vulnerability )hence seeking protection*. These combined e ects make the person stand bigger. de eat. 6irroring o expressions may occur. especially in male+ emale engagements. pronounced raised chin does other interesting things to the body too + it tends to li t the sternum )breast+bone*. The eyes remain sharply ocused on the eyes o the speaker. exposing the neck. .ead do#n is generally a signal o re1ection )o someone%s ideas etc*. The head may tilt side#ays. $o#ering the head is a sign o loss. unless the head is do#n or a purpose like reading supporting notes.ead do#n also tends to cause shoulders and upper back to to slump. #hich is a signal o strength. pu ing out the chest. 3odding is relevant to #hat is being said. chin up head pride. etc. etc. . >ery similar to the %head held high% signal.

and probably hostile too. hostile de ensiveness insecurity !lenched ists rein orce stubbornness. so be care ul not to misread this signal. Body language is more than 3ust knowing the theory . 6en tend not to. :ripping upper arms #hile olded is e ectively sel +hugging. aggression or the lack o empathy indicated by crossed arms. This can be due to various causes. 2t%s a crossed arms arms with clenched fists gripping own arms upper arms one arm arms nervousness . !rossed arms is a commonly exhibited signal by subordinates eeling threatened by bosses and igures o's being aware constantly of the signals people are giving. and conversely indicate feelings of openness and security when in open positions. People also cross arms #hen they are eeling cold. (omen use this gesture. 3. especially combined with open palms. especially when interpreted with other body language. it's not always so clear if your attention is on other matters. ranging rom severe animosity or concern to mild boredom or being too tired to be interested and attentive. &his provides a good opportunity to illustrate how signals combine to enable safer analysis. 1or e ample# • • • crossed arms L possibly defensive crossed arms M crossed legs L probably defensive crossed arms M crossed legs M frowning M clenched fists L definitely defensive. !rossed arms represent a protective or reluctance separating barrier.B. 5hile this might seem obvious written in simple language. Sel +hugging is an attempt to reassure unhappy or unsa e eelings.uite reliable indicators of mood and feeling. 6rms are . signal part of body possible meaning(s) detailed explanation crossed arms arms (folded arms) de ensiveness.6rms act as defensive barriers when across the body.

nother %barrier% protective signal. . authority %barrier% protective signal. handbag arms held in front of body(female) holding arms papers across chest(mainly male) ad#usting arms cuff$ watchstrap$ tie$ etc. . teachers.$ using an arm across the body arms%hands arms 0 covering hands genital region(male) holding a arms 0 drink in hands front of body with both hands seated$ arms 0 holding hands drink on one side with hand from other side nervousness nervousness . .nother %barrier% protective signal. nervousness . nervousness .across body clasping other arm by side(female) arms held behind body with hands clasped arms con idence.nother %barrier% protective signal. etc*. armed orces o icers. nervousness <ne arm rests on the table across the body. policemen.nother %barrier% protective signal. and also sel + hugging.nother %barrier% protective signal. especially #hen arm is across chest. .nother %barrier% protective signal. holding a drink )or pen. etc.s demonstrated by members o the royal amily. nervousness .

shaping. pressure. etc. indicating feelings such as doubt.touching or scratching shoulder using arm across body arms 0 nervousness shoulder . &his is because hands are such e pressive parts of the body. etc) specific conscious signals like the 6merican %*. but when a hand or finger is also involved then there is probably a signal of some sort. and because hands interact with other parts of the body.body language Body language involving hands is e tensive. e pectation. so it is natural for hands to be used a lot in signalling consciously . eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space hands . openness. notably# • • • • • emphasis.or unconsciously . and chopping actions. etc.this big2long2wide2etc. deceit. 6 nose or an ear by itself can do little to signal a feeling. the things in the air gestures . the ? in a wide range of unintentional movements which indicate otherwise hidden feelings and thoughts. etc) illustration (drawing. Fands contain many more nerve connections (to the brain) than most if not all other body parts. &hey are e tremely e pressive and fle ible tools. mimicking actions or si. and for rude with emphasi. greeting people and waving goodbye (which might be included in the above category) and more interestingly in unconscious 'leakage' signals including interaction with items like pens and cigarettes and other parts of the body. phoning actions.nother %barrier% protective signal. Fands body language is used for various purposes. (pointing. . 3abbing.

Body language e perts generally agree that hands send more signals than any part of the body e cept for the face. &here are many cultural body language differences in hand signals. <ut#ard open orearms or #hole arms are more extreme versions o the signal.lthough easy to ake. or trust0trust#orthiness. !an also mean ?2 don%t have the ans#er. :uch applies elsewhere. .? or an appeal. dominance (here the lo#er arm moves across the body #ith palm do#n this is generally de iance or irm disagreement. .n easily aked gesture to convey innocence. &he section below focuses on 5estern behaviour. )tudying hand body language therefore yields a lot of informationK hence the hands section below is large. &elaxed hands are more likely to be instruction to stop de ensive as i o ered up in protectionrigid ingers indicates a more authoritative instruction or re'uest to stop #hatever behaviour is promoting the reaction. seeking to be believed . strength. palm(s) down hands palm up and hands moving up and down as if weighing hand(s) on hands heart (left side of chest) striving or or The hand is empty. or . authority. as #hen a salesman tries to convince a buyer. appealing detailed explanation Said to evolve rom #hen open up#ard palms sho#ed no #eapon #as held. #hether being truth ul or not. truth ul. honesty. The signal is one o %#eighing% possibilities.and on heart can be proactive. 2n some situations this can indicate con idence )such as to enable openness*. but iguratively seeking an ans#er holds a problem or idea as i #eighing it. palm(s) up$ fingers pointing up hands de ensive. but avoid assuming that it all does. the underlying meaning is one o #anting to be believed. signal palm(s) up or open part of body hands possible meaning(s) submissive. . common gesture #ith various meanings around a main theme o openness.

Pointing at a person is very emphasis con rontational and dictatorial. !ommonly adults do this to young people. emphasis Pointing in the air is generally used to add emphasis.dult to adult it is generally unacceptable and tends to indicate a lack o social a#areness or sel +control aside rom arrogance on the part o the inger pointer..? or ?@ou understand it. Stop it0do as you are told. ackno#ledgement The subtle use o a #inked eye #ith a or con irmation pointed inger changes the inger point into a di erent signal. #ell done?.n exception to the generally aggressive meaning o inger pointing is the inger point and #ink. as i pressing the button lots o times #ill make any di erence. as i to say. #hich is rarely the case. the sender o this signal typically eels the need to emphasise their position as i mortally threatened. ?@ou got it. (hatever. The inger is thought to represent a gun. in #hich case the inger and #ink are directed at the person concerned. &ather like the #aving o a pistol as a threat.reactive. or pointed #eapon.. as #hen claiming innocence or shock. that o ackno#ledging something. by a person eeling in authority or po#er. emphasis . re usal admonishment. or else. belo#. directed at another person. threat. Strongly associated #ith anger. o ten a contribution or remark made by someone. finger pointing hands (at a person) aggression. $ike #hen a computer or elevator #on%t #ork. finger point and wink hands0 eyes finger pointing hands (in the air) finger wagging hands (side to side) finger wagging hands (up and down) #arning. The action is like pressing a button on a keypad several times. . and can be a signal o positive appreciation. .

5ingers are spread and may be rigidly straight or relaxed and curved. as i especially the last to kill the discussion. 2t%s their loss. depending on context and other signals. loss o gesture is typically a e# inches above control o a group the table top. looking or or explaining connections or engagement steepled fingers pointing forward hands thought ulness and barrier palms down hands moving up and down$ fingers seeking or asking Seen o ten in ro#dy meetings the or calm. but in isolation the signal is impossible to interpret more precisely than a basic eeling o resolve. Try it + it%s very strange. >ery brainy people probably don%t do this because they have more important things to think about.lternating the positions )pushing ingers together then relaxing again + like a spider doing press+ups on a mirror* enables the ascinating e ect )nothing to do #ith body language*. but is also seen standing .hand chop hands emphasis + The hand is used like a guillotine. o ensive. >ery brainy olk use this gesture since it re lects complex and0or elevated thinking. pointing up#ards like the ra ters o a tall church roo . aggression. ho#ever #hen this hand shape is directed or#ard it also acts as a de ensive or distancing barrier bet#een the thinker and other)s* present. #ord on a matter resistance. positive or negative. 2n this gesture only the ingertips touch + each inger #ith the corresponding digit o the other hand. The up#ards+pointing version tends to indicate high+minded or connective0complex thinking. determination <ne or t#o clenched ists can indicate di erent eelings + de ensive. #hich a ter enough repetition can produce a sensation o having a greased sheet o glass bet#een the ingers. . $ogically a clenched ist prepares the hand )and mind and body* or battle o one sort or another. clenched fist(s) hands finger tips and hands thumbs touching each other on opposite hands (!steepling!) thought ulness.

T#o hands is a bigger statement o the same meaning. 6achismo or habit. but the notion that the practice leads to arthritis is no# generally thought to be nonsense. 3o+one kno#s still exactly ho# the noise is made. rustration. The action is one o suppressing or holding do#n a rising pressure. or more pronounced directed to others. disapproval. negativity. 6eaning depends on context. This is generally seen to be the %<A% signal. insecurity . The circle ormed by the 1oined inger and thumb resembles the < rom <A. . The remaining three ingers are spread. similar to the %thumbs up%. &ightly or #rongly the thumbs up and do#n signals are associated #ith the gladiatorial contests o the ancient &oman arenas in #hich the presiding dignitary #ould signal the ate o the losing contestants. %<A% hands thumb(s) up hands positive approval. cracking knuckles hands com orting habit. Usually male. . anxiousness satis action.spread or situation up. Usually hands #ould be on a table or held across stomach or on lap.lso thumbs down hands thumb(s) clenched inside fist(s) hands sel +com orting. Teachers use this gesture #hen trying to 'uieten a class. There is also the sense o this suggesting something being %1ust right% as i the inger and thumb are making a ine ad1ustment #ith a pinch o spice or a tiny turn o a control knob. all commonly used and recogni.s #ith other signals involving holding or stroking a part o one%s o#n body this tends to indicate sel +com orting. 2t%s a very positive signal. attention+seeking interwoven clenched fingers index finger and thumb touching at tips hands rustration. The signal may be to onesel 'uietly. ailure $ogically the opposite o thumbs up.ed it has #ell become a language term in its o#n rightB %thumbs up% means approved. 2n the (estern #orld this signal is so agreement.

inattentive.thumbs are potent and lexible tools. in the balance Signalling that a decision or outcome. normally inely balanced and di icult to predict or control. 2n many cases this is an unconscious signalling o holding back or delaying a response or opinion. especially i the mouth is covered at the same time. hand held hori&ontally and rocked from side to side hands undecided. shock lying or exaggeration touching nose$ hands 0 while speaking nose scratching nose$ while speaking hands 0 nose lying or exaggeration pinching or hands 0 rubbing nose$ nose while listening thought ulness. suppressing comment picking nose hands 0 nose day+dreaming. and o ten related to material or inancial re#ard. This is said to hide the reddening o the nose caused by increased blood lo#. unless the person genuinely has an itchy nose. < ten exhibited #hen recounting an event or incident. signal + o ten a conscious gesture + o positive expectation. . 3ose picking is actually extremely common among adults but does not aid rubbing hands hands together anticipation. so disabling them logically reduces a person%s readiness or action. &ather like the more obvious hand+clamp over the mouth. could go one #ay or another. See mouth0hand clamp entry in mouth section. relish hand(s) clamped over mouth hands 0 mouth suppression. 3ose+scratching #hile speaking is a #arning sign. The children%s story about Pinocchio )the #ooden puppet boy #hose nose gre# #hen he told lies* re lects long+standing associations bet#een the nose and telling lies. or an en1oyable activity and outcome. . !an also indicate mild embellishment or abrication. Pinching the nose physically obstructs breathing and speech. #hich is a sub1ect in its o#n right. people displaying this gesture probably have something to say but are choosing not to say it yet.

The gesture is occasionally seen by a person doing the talking. or reactions to something or someone. . 3ot surprisingly gestures involving hands covering the ears signi y a reluctance to listen and0or to agree #ith #hat is being said or to the situation as a #hole. nose+picking can signi y various states o mind. People #ho display this signal are commonly assessing or evaluating next actions. People iddle #ith their o#n bodies in various #ays #hen seeking com ort. The stroking o a beard is a similar signal. Usually accompanied #ith a long single blink. then tiredness or boredom is a more likely cause. in #hich case it tends to indicate that other vie#s and opinions are not #anted or #ill be ignored. but ear+pulling or tugging given suitable supporting signs can instead indicate indecision and related pondering. ace tiredness or boredom chin resting on hands 0 thumb$ index chin evaluation . This is a more reliable signal o evaluation than the above ull+hand pinching bridge of nose hands 0 nose negative evaluation re1ection o or resistance to something hands clamped hands 0 on ears ears ear tugging hands 0 ears indecision.socially disconnected. as is lightly resting the chin on the knuckles. sel + com orting hands clasping hands 0 head head hand stroking chin hand supporting chin or side of face hands 0 chin calamity thought ulness hands 0 evaluation. none particularly positive. stress career development or social acceptance and is there ore normally a private a air. and the ga.e is un ocused or averted. chin. . options. 2 the resting is heavier and more prolonged.ands clasping head is like a protective helmet against some disaster or problem. although rare among #omen. (hen observed. lighter resting contact is more likely to be evaluation. Usually the orearm is vertical rom the supporting elbo# on a table.

#here a person readies themselves to speak and attracts attention to the act. Those #ho stand #ith hands in pockets + in situations #here there is an expectation or people to be enthusiastic and ready or action + demonstrate apathy and lack o interest or the situation. running hands through the hair can indicate exasperation or upset. the signal is generally due to doubting or distrusting #hat is being said. boredom removing spectacles hands 0 alerting #ish to spectacles speak . hands 0 neck doubt. 3ormally the supporting elbo# #ill be on a table or sur ace. notably sport. readiness. as i holding onesel back. and sometimes it is. #hich may be behind the back or in open vie#. <bservable in various situations. can be a signal o rustration. !lasping a #rist. <ther alerting signals include raising the neck scratching hand clasping wrist hands 0 #rist rustration running hands hair 0 hair lirting. availability hands in pockets hands 0 arms disinterest. or through hair their presence and readiness or action. The person is emphasi.finger pointing up against face support. although given di erent supporting signals. The middle inger commonly rests hori. disbelie Perhaps evolved rom a eeling o distrust and instinct to protect the vulnerable neck area. 2n social and lirting context it is said that the hands are dra#ing attention to the genital area. this is an example o an announcement or alerting gesture. (ho kno#s + #hatever. The obvious signal is one o inaction. 5or people #ho #ear reading+only spectacles. and less pronounced poses in social and #ork situations.ontally bet#een chin and lo#er lip. exasperation hand(s) on hip(s) hands 0 arms con idence. and not being ready or action. Take your pick + running hands through the hair is commonly associated #ith lirting.

&are emale use o this gesture directed at males can be very e ective due to its humiliating value.hand. usually one+handed. 5or obvious reasons the gesture is unlikely to be used by emales or males directed at emales. This is obviously rude and not used in respectable company such as the 'ueen or a group o clergymen. like calling a person a %tosser% or a %#anker% )UA* or a 1erk+o )US*. conscious signal. 2nsulting gesture i directed at a person. taking a breath. #hich might be a per ormance or piece o #ork or a comment on a product o some sort. and that those #ho masturbate are not %real men%. playing an imaginary violin hands 0 arms mock sympathy or sadness The %air violin% has been around a lot longer than the %air guitar%. The %air violin% is not typically included in body language guides.gincourt in the . especially in tribal+like gatherings. expression o in erior 'uality two"fingered hands 0 '"sign$ palm ingers inward(mainly male) o ensive + derision. The gesture is also used as a response to something regarded as poor 'uality. typically male to male. Unsurprisingly the gesture is mainly here as an amusing gesture #hich demonstrates our conscious practice and recognition o certain signals. . and is based on the traditional use o violin music as a theme or background or sad scenes in movies and in music generally. #idely but probably incorrectly thought to derive rom the 141C Battle o . contempt . also called % licking the >s%. The allusion is to masturbation being a poor substitute or sex #ith a #oman. . consciously o ensive and aggressive gesture.undred @ears (ar #hen the tactically pivotal (elsh longbo#men supposedly derided the thumb and hands fingers formed into a tube and rocked side to side or up and down(mainly male) o ensive + mockery. etc. moving up#ards and or#ards in their seat. since it mimics masturbation. directed at other males. dissatis action.

hence the very subservient female curtsey gesture (also spelled curtsy). irst used the palm in#ards version until he #as told #hat it meant to the #orking classes. especially if used in cultures (+astern especially) where firm handshaking is not normal. 5omen have throughout time generally been subservient to men. which survives now only in traditional situations such as meeting royalty. 1irm handshakes tend to be those of confident people. a handshake became the way to confirm a commercial transaction. two"fingered '"sign$ palm outward hands ingers victory. although apparently.uality of women. especially from the D=<<s onwards. Fandshaking evolved from ancient times as an initial gesture of trust. reflecting the change of social attitudes and the increasing e. or ending a stage performance. Fandshakes that are uncomfortably firm show a lack of respect or awareness. for whom a hundred years back such physical contact was considered improper. eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space handshakes .beaten 5rench soldiers% and their threats to cut o the bo#men%s ingers. 'aturally also the handshake offers the most obvious way to connect physically as a way to signal trust or friendship. peace British 7nd (orld (ar leader (inston !hurchill popularised the victory usage. "n more recent times. Fandshaking by women became common practice much later. especially those who have spent some time in business. signi icantly i so. to show that no weapon was being held. and who realise that most people in business consider a firm handshake to be a good thing. signal part of body possible meaning(s) detailed explanation .body language 1irmness of handshake is not the reliable indicator of firmness of character that many believe it to be.

. handshake handshake seeking to " both convey hands trust#orthiness and honesty. . . the lo#er " palm up accommodating hand has submitted to the upper hand dominance. surgeons. and relaxed vertical pumping handshake enthusiasm handshake (hether genuine or not. weak handshake various handshake . the meeting.o# all this ultimately translates into the subse'uent relationship and outcomes can depend on more signi icant actors than the handshake. Strong but passive people can have gentle handshakes. or example. vigorous pumping handshake tends to indicate energy and enthusiasm o the shaker to#ards the other person. @oung people unaccustomed to handshaking can have #eak handshakes. literally. . 2t%s potentially a very misleading signal. There is a sense o attempting to trans er energy and enthusiasm. can have 'uite gentle sensitive handshakes. hence the behaviour is popular in motivational olk and evangelists. #eak handshake might be due to arthritis. situation or pro1ect. . 2t is not.handshake handshake dominance " palm down Usually a irm handshake. rom the vigorous handshaker to the shaken person. musicians. <ld people can have #eak handshakes. this handshake is unduly physical and )o ten* uncom ortably domineering. the %upper hand% tends to impose and0or create a dominant impression. seeking to control handshake handshake non+ " e ual threatening. etc. handshake handshake submission. (eak handshakes can be due to various aspects o personality. Usually not a strong handshake. #hen neither person seeks to control or to yield. artists. etc. etc. mood. etc*. 6ost handshakes are like this. People #ho use their hands in their pro ession.void the common vie# that a #eak handshake is the sign o a #eak or submissive person.

firm handshake out#ard handshake con idence . 6lso consider that when people sit for half-an-hour or more they tend to change their leg positions.uality and clothing. which should be allowed for when interpreting signals. 5irm handshakes are a sign o out#ard con idence. !ertain open-leg male positions are not especially significant in men. which needs to be considered when reading leg body language.void the common vie# that a irm handshake is the sign o a strong solid person. due to upbringing.body language Legs and feet body language is more difficult to control consciously or fake than some body language of arms and hands and face. if you know the signs. :en and women sit differently. #hich could mask deceit or a #eak bullying nature. eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space legs and feet . #hich can be due to arrogance. To many this represents an un#anted invasion o personal space. handshake handshake seeking control. or indicate a strong solid person. (hen a handshake is accompanied by the le t with arm paternalism hand clasping the other person%s right arm this clasp indicates a #ish to control or a eeling o care. 2t is #idely misinterpreted. but would be notable in women. which can include leg . social trends. 2t is not. and caution is re'uired in reading this signal. %lder women tend to adopt more modest closed leg positions than younger women. especially combined with a short skirt. e. 6gain take account of these influences when evaluating signals. men naturally e hibit more open leg positions than women. since touching %permission% is or the handshake only. Legs and feet can therefore provide good clues to feelings and moods. Strength o a handshake is not by itsel an indicator o positive %good% mood or personality. -artly due to clothing and partly due to se ual differences.

The rule applies #ith crossed legs also. 6gain allow for this when interpreting signals. which aside from comfort reasons generally indicate detachment. the keener the attraction or repellent eeling. etc. !rossed legs tend to indicate a degree o caution or disinterest. This unusual in men. especially i the knees point an angle other than straight ahead. The more direct and obvious the position. open uncrossed leg positions generally indicate an open attitude. for e ample crossed arms and crossed legs. hence the name. this refers to the legs being crossed at both knees. #hich can be due to legs0knees interest. attentiveness )according to direction* uncrossed legs$ sitting " general legs openness parallel legs legs together$ sitting(mainly female) crossed legs$ sitting " legs properness caution.crossing purely for comfort reasons. #here the upper knee indicates interest or disinterest according to #here it points. 5here the terms 'leg crossing' and 'crossed legs' are used alone. &his makes a figure-I shape. &he posture is also called the 6merican leg cross because of its supposed popularity in the () compared to the (*. notably among males. 2n sitting positions. #hich normally indicate a closed attitude or a degree o caution or uncertainty. The posture #as common in #omen due to upbringing and clothing and indicates a sense o properness. '. disinterest. The converse is true also + legs tend to point a#ay rom something or someone #hich is uninteresting or threatening. disinterest . Leg signals tend to be supported by corresponding arms signals. &he '6merican' or '1igure-I' leg cross entails the supporting leg being crossed 3ust above the knee by the ankle or lower calf of the crossing leg. contrasting #ith #ith crossed legs. re3ection or insecurity.B. signal leg direction$ sitting " general part of body possible meaning(s) detailed explanation :enerally a seated person directs their knee or knees to#ards the point o interest.

stubborn (merican or figure") leg cross with hand clamp legs 0 resistant. The crossed leg is nevertheless a protective barrier. #hen leg crossing can change more or com ort than body language reasons.appily extreme male open+crotch posing is rarely exhibited in polite or ormal situations since the signal is mainly sexual. The %. This is a con ident dominant posture. ranging rom eeling threatened. in #hich )usually* the opposite hand to the crossing leg clamps and holds the ankle o the crossing leg. and so this posture is regarded as more stubborn than the %both knees% leg cross. and typically causes the upper body to lean back.merican% or % igure+4% leg cross is a ar more con ident posture than the conventional %both knees% leg cross. . &egardless o gender this posture is also (merican or figure") leg cross legs independent. 3ot a gesture popularly used by #omen.general crossing legs$ sitting " specific change legs interest or disinterest in direction o upper crossed knee various reasons.merican leg cross. to mildly insecure. #hich re lects the mood o the person. Signs are more indicative #hen people irst sit do#n and adopt initial positions in relation to others present. #hose target might be a single person or a #ider audience. :enerally the upper crossed leg and knee #ill point according to the person%s interest. 2t exposes the genital region. sexual posturing . arm 0 hand stubborn open legs$ legs sitting(mainly male) arrogance. e ectively producing a locked position.i it points a#ay rom a person it signi ies disinterest in or a perceived threat rom that person. 2 the knee points to#ards a person then it signi ies interest in or enthusiasm or that person. This is a more protective and stubborn version o the plain . This is a clear exception to the leg0knee point rule since the pointing is being done by the crotch. especially in ormal situations and not in a skirt. Signs become less reliable #hen people have been sitting or hal +an+hour or so. combative.

legs straight.ands on hips support the interpretation. (here legs are crossed and arms are not.combative because it re'uires space and makes the person look bigger. and also make the body look #ider. together and parallel. shoulders back. Standing upright. arms by sides + this is like the military %at attention% posture and is o ten a signal o respect or subservience adopted #hen addressed by someone in authority. t#ined or #rapped around the supporting leg. body 'uite upright.ssessing additional body language is crucial or interpreting such signals o potentially very di erent meanings. engagement de ensive signals such as crossed legs and arms among the less con ident group members is o ten rein orced by a physical and audible lack o involvement and connection #ith more lively sections o the group. . ready or action Splayed. aggression. or a sexual display o leg shapeliness. . insecurity or Typically observed in groups o standing submission or people at parties or other gatherings.lso called %leg t#ine%. so the standing leg cross relays potentially 'uite di erent things. that is #ide+parted legs create )usually unconsciously* a irm base rom #hich to de end or attack. The impression o con idence is increased #hen arms are also in a #ide or open position. splayed legs$ standing legs standing !at attention! legs 0 body respect ul legs legs intertwined$ sitting(female) insecurity or . There is also a suggestion o suppressing negative emotion. since a tight leg+ cross tends to emphasise muscle and tone. "epending on the circumstances the leg t#ine can either be a sign o retreat and protection. legs crossed$ standing (scissor stance) legs . this is a tightly sexual posing crossed leg. ankle lock$ sitting legs de ensiveness Anees may be apart )among men predominantly* or together )more natural in #omen*. this can indicate a submissive or committed agreement to stand and engage.

and one of the founding fathers of modern body language theory. . and similarly a less obvious knee bend #hile standing can indicate the anticipation o an uncom ortable burden or responsibility. Fere is +dward &witchell Fall's website .knee buckle$ standing legs 0 knees under pressure <bviously a pronounced knee buckle is e ectively a collapse due to severe stress or actually carrying a heavy is merely the direction o the eet #hen sitting or standing in relation to people close by.e the new word. no doubt helped populari. lirting. directed to#ards dominant group member relaxation. sexual The signal is interesting among groups. foot forward$ standing eet shoe" play(female) eet eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space personal space &he technical term for the personal space aspect of body language is proxemics. i. Fis other books are listed in the body language references . 5oot interest direction or pointing in this context is a subtle aspect o posture + this is not using the oot to point at something. eet tend to point to#ards the indicates ocus o interest + or a#ay rom something direction o or someone i it is not o interest. Fis D7G8 book. especially relating to cross-cultural understanding. the or#ard oot points at the leader or strongest member o the group. 2n certain situations dangling a shoe rom the oot. #hen it can indicate perceptions o leadership or dominance. #oman #ould usually be relaxed to display this signal.he's an interesting character.e. &he word was devised by +dward &witchell Fall (b. an 6merican anthropologist and writer on body language and non-verbal communications. and more so slipping the oot in and out o the shoe has sexual overtones.D7DI). feet or foot direction or pointing eet oot direction $ike knees.. -ro emics. 6 )tudy of :an's )pacial >elationship.

-ro emics . business . cultural and living background. &here are five distinct space . 4C+ 178cm 1Ein+4 t amily and Touching is possible in this . 'ueues and entertainment and sports spectating events. public a person%s senses o smell and touch )being touched* become especially exercised.ence touching other than hand+ shaking is potentially uncom ortable. (ithin the intimate . -ersonal space dimensions depend notably on the individual. which for 5estern societies. and cro#ded places such as parties. >obert 6rdrey is cited by Hulius 1ast as another significant e pert and writer in personal space.7+F. however some general parameters apply to most people. or very threatening and upsetting at belo#. and relationships. &one *. but intimacy is close riends o +limits. and Sometimes included #ith the 7nd . defined as (the study of) the amount of space that people find comfortable between themselves and others. and which remain the basis of personal space analysis today. &he first .. -ntimate 1C+4Ccm physical Usually reserved or intimate relationships and D+1Ein touching close comprising two sub-. . /ersonal ). touching or example ace+to+ ace contact #ith close relationships riends rarely encroaches #ithin D inches. this physical is a markedly di erent .Dm non+touch consultative 4+17 t interaction. Signi icantly hand+shaking is only possible #ithin this .one in certain situations.personal space . but commonly does #ith a lover. which were originally identified by +dward & Fall.section only i both people reach out to do it. concerts.. . +lose intimate distance for 8+1Ccm 8+Din detail lovers. is sometimes shown as a single . 3on+ consenting intrusion into this space is normally elt to be uncom ortable at best. are shown below. Social" 1.ones.ones. the situation. but also applies during relationships consenting close activities such as contact sports. Touching is not possible unless both people reach to do it. .

(hen this space is intruded by another person is creates a discom ort or an expectation o interaction. +ach person senses a conflict arising from the mismatching of signals . when the principles of matching body language e tend to audible signals also . etc. A&his person is like me and agrees with the way " am. therefore " feel defensive. this makes us react unconsciously to feel. " like this person because we are similar. /ublic F. not synchroni.matching body language signals 5hen body language and speech characteristics are mirrored or synchroni.A &he converse effect applies. trust). and he2she likes me too.the two people are not affirming each otherK instead the mismatched signals translate into unconscious feelings of discord.ed between people this tends to assist the process of creating and keeping rapport (a mutual feeling of empathy. understanding. &he term synchroni. 5hen another person displays similar body language to our own. &he unconscious mind thinks. pitch. ':irrored' or synchroni.ed . and the engagement is less comfortable.they feel less like each other. 5hen two people's body language signals are different .i.0.ed is arguably a more accurate technical term because mirroring implies visual signals only.e. discomfort or even re3ection..onal space #hen they seek to avoid interaction #ith others nearby. tone. eyes 0 mouth 0 head 0 arms 0 hands 0 handshakes 0 legs and feet 0 personal space mirroring . " am not being affirmed. ignoring People establish this .notably speech pace.DmG 17 tG no interaction.A .ed body language between two people encourages feelings of trust and rapport because it generates unconscious feelings of affirmation. A&his person is not like meK he2she is different to me.

of other people. even though we rarely think consciously about it. :irroring in this conscious sense is not simply copying or mimicking.and see if the other person follows you. -eople. %bvious copying would be regarded as strange or insulting. commonly . and with a little practice are able to first match and then actually and gently to alter the signals .slower or faster . as a method of 'getting in tune' with another person. :irroring is effective when movements and gestures are reflected in a similar way so that the effect remains unconscious and subtle. )peech pace or speed is an e ample.6dvocates and users of 'L. %ften they will do. using mirroring techni. we often mirror and do likewise. as a means of creating trust and rapport with the other person. we do the same. 5hen another person leans forward towards us at a table. )ee 'L.ues. 5hen they lean back and rela . . and to influence attitudes.('euro-Linguistic -rogramming) use mirroring consciously.('euro-Linguistic -rogramming). mostly being peaceful cooperative souls. body language of seating positioning in relation to others Lots of unnecessary friction is created in work and communications situations due to ignorance and lack of thought about seating positions. )ales people and other professional communicators are widely taught to mirror all sorts of more subtle signals. 5hen you are speaking with someone. then gently change your pace . first match their pace of speaking. and +mpathy.uite naturally match each other's body language.and supposedly thereby the feelings and attitudes . &o do otherwise can sometimes feel uncomfortable.

and on what and around what. Fere are some guidelines. coaching. &hey also relate to one-to-one situations like appraisals. "ncidentally the . or coach. but not good for work. !onversely sitting too far apart will prevent building feelings of trust and private2personal discussion. etc. people often end up sitting opposite if free to do so. strangely. etc. &his seating arrangement will increase the defensiveness of anyone already feeling insecure or inferior. especially with emotional potential (appraisals for e ample) take care to arrange seating before the meeting to avoid opposite-facing positions. cooperation and understanding. counselling. &his positioning is favoured by certain bosses seeking to reinforce their power. )itting behind a work-desk (the boss behind his2her own desk especially) and having someone (especially a subordinate) sit in a less e pensive lower chair across the desk emphasises authority of the boss and adds unhelpfully to the barrier and the confrontational set-up. is fascinating and offers opportunities for improving relationships. but it is not helpful in most modern work situations. communications. &hese points are generally for the purpose of a leader or someone aspiring to lead. )itting opposite someone across a table or desk adds a barrier to the confrontational set-up and can create a tension even when the relationship is good and strong. etc. )itting opposite someone creates a feeling of confrontation. !onsider the rules about personal space. 1or one-to-one meetings. "f you cannot arrange the seating give very deliberate thought to seating positions before you sit down and2or before you invite the other person to sit . and is not a good way to increase respectful natural authority into each other's eyes. interviews. "t's easy to forget this and to find yourself sitting opposite someone when there are only two of you at the table. )itting opposite across a table is okay for lovers ga.&he 'science' of where people sit in relation to each other. 4o not place chairs so close together that personal space will be invaded. counsel.don't 3ust let it happen because commonly.

1or this reason much seating in hotel lounges is entirely unsuitable for work meetings. &he I. which also enables papers to be seen together without too much twisting. "mportantly . and obstructs communications. and beaten2abused2neglected as a child.-degree rule is appro imate. or e ploring issues together. simply try to avoid opposite or side-by-side positions. and how rela ed you want the meeting to be. "mportantly.uare table. when the victim.e pression 'on the carpet' .derives from the e treme form of this positional strategy. Low settees and easy-chairs and low coffee tables cause people to sink and rela back are usually unhelpful for work meetings. 6 table ceases to become a barrier when people are sitting at a diagonal angle. "nterviews and appraisals can benefit from rela ed or more formal seating depending on the situation. instead it becomes a common work surface for studying papers. &his is achieved naturally by both sitting around the same corner of a s. and anyway under most circumstances seating angles are influenced by furniture and available space. (&he boss would typically be male. -eople naturally are more alert and focused using higher formal table and chairs. %bviously this works well because no-one is at the head of the table. >ound tables are better than s. which promotes a feeling of e.uare or oblong tables for group and team meetings. but that's another story.somewhere in the range of 8<-G< degrees if you want to be technical about it. 6n angle between these two e tremes is best . "t threatens personal space.) )itting at a diagonal angle of about I. called into the office would stand to receive their bollocking on the carpet in front of the boss who sat high and mighty behind his desk.uality . &he same angle is appropriate for and easy-chairs around a coffee-table.meaning being told off or 'bollocked' .make a conscious choice about furniture depending on the tone of the meeting. )itting side by side on a settee is not a good arrangement for working relationships. degrees to another person is a comfortable and cooperative arrangement.

and teamwork. if not in making decisions. 5hile this seems like a throwback to more autocratic times. which means thinking carefully about best seating arrangements for s.opted for a round table for this reason. etc. instead to sit among the team. etc. 6 (likely) mythical origin is said to be that in >oman times a leader would place their most loyal supporter to their right because this was the most advantageous position from which to attempt an assassination by stabbing (given that most people then as now were right-handed).uired in chairing or mediating.. &he term 'round table' has come to symbolise teamwork and fairness. 6ssassination by stabbing is rare in modern work meetings. certainly to keep order and ensure smooth running of proceedings. Eroups of people above a certain si. so positioning an opponent on your right side (instead of allowing the normal opposite positioning to happen) can be a useful tactic since this indicates confidence and strength. (nfortunately round tables aren't common in offices. "n large gatherings of @<-8< people or more. !onversely it is perfectly normal for a leader to take the 'head of the table' if firmness is re. . &herefore seating arrangements for large groups should provide a clear position of control for the chairperson or event leaders. "t is usually easier to chair a meeting from the head of the table position.or the creator of the legend (*ing 6rthur and the *nights of the >ound &able) . &heory suggests that when a group sits around a table the person sitting on the leader's right will generally be the most loyal and aligned to the leader's thinking and wishes. a 'top table' is often appropriate for the leader and guest speakers. for a long time. it is perfectly workable. especially if there are particular reasons for creating a cooperative atmosphere.e are far more likely to e pect firm direction2leadership.uare or oblong tables. *ing 6rthur . 6 confident leader will be happy to avoid taking the 'head of the table' position.

or person of a rank above you. 1ilipino people (and in fact many other people of all races) can find it offensive2uncomfortable when beckoned by a repeatedly curled inde finger . given the '5estern' e pectation in such situations. whereby young people tend to be instructed not look at someone eye to eye when being told off or disciplined. -lease send any you can contribute. "n the (*2west we tend to nod our head to agree and affirm and to show we are listeningK in "ndia it is not unusual for people to move their heads from side to side in giving these reactions. +ye contact (other than unwanted staring) is generally regarded as a positive aspect of body language in 5estern cultures.e is commonly considered to be a negative sign. "t is also seen as respectful practice. " welcome refinements and additions to this section. "t is a sign of respect to drop your eyes.body language in different cultures Fere are some brief pointers concerning body language variations and gestures in cultures which differ from 5estern (()2(* notably) behaviour. ALook at me when "'m talking to youA. lack of attention. lack of confidence. sideways head-shaking of this sort is not a vigorous twisting movementK it is usually more of a sideways tilting of the head from one side to the other. etc).) &his point (thanks > 1o ) concerns eye contact. it is disrespectful to look an elder. indicating deceit. -eople in2from parts of "ndia may to shake their head from side to side as a sign of agreement and active listening. lying. "n some 6ustralian 6boriginal cultures. (whereas in 5estern culture not meeting somebody's ga.the gesture evokes feelings of having done something wrong and being chastised for it. which in this conte t typically refers to white +uropean people and descendents. 5hen cultures meet obviously this provides potential for friction. in the eyes. . (&hanks ) !hurchill. for e ample. 6 specific difference regarding eye contact can be found in some black !aribbean cultures however. "ncidentally on this point.

Eermany and the :iddle +ast.on meeting and departing. 1eet are considered 'inferior' parts of the body compared with the dignity of the face. notably Latin 6merica. "nformal male-female touching is less common and can be considered improper in Hapan. in &urkey. Ereece. &urkey and Bulgaria for e ample. )howing the soles of the feet is insulting2rude in many 6sian and 6rab cultures. even several times in the same day. &he offensive British25estern two-fingered ?-sign is not necessarily offensive in Hapan and may be considered positive like the 5estern palm-outwards 'victory' or 'peace' ?-sign in the 5est. "n 6rab culture the left hand and right hands have religious connotations which generally dictate that the left hand is not used for touching (for e ample shaking hands) or eating."n 6rab countries the thumbs-up gesture is rude. and anything else. especially pointing the foot or feet at anyone. Beckoning gestures in +astern cultures are commonly made with the palm down. 6rab handshaking tends to be more fre. ) a rude gesture in some cultures. and " welcome more information especially from people overseas as to precise variations to ()2(* conventional meanings in signally yes and no. (&his is a refinement of previous details about head movements in body language.) .uent and less firm . aside from using conventional (()2(*-style) head nodding and shaking.a circle made with thumb and inde -finger with other fingers fanned or outstretched . whereas 5estern beckoning is generally palm up. "n some countries. &he eyebrow flash may be considered rude or to carry se ual connotations in Hapanese culture. &he 6merican-style '%*' sign . moving the head up2down or from side to side may have additional or different meanings to those conventionally interpreted in the (*2(). some people may also signal 'no' by moving their head up. with head movements.

Blowing one's nose into a handkerchief in public is obscene. and is therefore a signal of relative status between two people.he is first in the way of any invader to the room. %n introduction. 6 great boss may spend much of . when the depth of the bow increases with the amount of respect shown. 'evertheless.) Fis team sits on the same side of the table in descending rank. and a room with sofas. &he head of the table is not generally used in bilateral (two parties) meetings e cept by people brought in to advise on components of the agenda.y. the 'table' room is where transactions are formalised. &he card received should be held in both hands and e amined carefully. &his room can be a great place to cut deals. "n >ussia these meanings are reversed."n Hapan the male bow is still commonly used. Fere are some -apanese body language insights. (&his is probably chivalric in origin . on the upper half of the body. &he chief guest sits opposite him and similarly the minions decline to the side. "n &he 'etherlands people touch the temple with the inde finger in order to indicate someone (or an action) is smart or intelligent. &he sofa room is for non-antagonistic meetings.) Hapanese businesses (unless they cannot afford it) have two types of meeting room# a 5estern style room with central table. degree rule seems to apply here . especially for doing business in Hapan (thanks > 5ilkes)# • • • • • Figh-pitched laughter means nervousness. Business cards should be e changed at the first possible opportunity. 4epth of bow is impossible to 3udge without immense e perience# it is sufficient for a 5esterner to bow shallowly. "n general. and then stored. do not offer a handshake. &here the host of the meeting sits nearest to (and preferably with his back to) the door. Folding a person's identity in one hand is casual2disrespectful.better to sit on ad3acent sides than across from one another.. &he trouser pocket is a rude place. (5hat other bodily waste do you wrap up in cotton and put in your pocket/. &ouching the forehead with the inde finger means someone (or an action) is stupid or cra. the I. preferably in a wallet.

&he Hapanese language does have a word for 'no' but it is rarely used in business for fear of causing offence or loss of face. if he has a firm steer to give. which is confrontational at work. 1 )u. he will instruct his deputy and this will be relayed immediately. : Baniasadi. goes on at work. and the fundamental principles of social2work body language also apply to the development or blocking of se ual relationships. dating and mating sexual body language :any signals in flirting.uite normal with lower ranking people# if they drop their head. with one notable e ception# touching the tip of the nose from straight ahead signals '"2me'. Loss of eye contact is . &here are some differences which can completely change the nature of a signal given in a se ual conte t.uite similar to 5estern ones. %f course lots of flirting. " welcome refinements and additions for body language in other cultures. pure body signals are . courtship. and particularly to > 5ilkes for the Hapanese section.• • • the meeting with his eyes closed. Fe is considering what is being said by the subordinates and does not need visual distraction.A is substantially more acceptable. this indicates deep thought. and more. Fowever.. 44. but is often intimate and enabling for se ual and romantic relationships# full constant eye-to-eye contact is helpful for intimacy. as is full frontal facing between male and female for obvious reasons. L !ampbell. dating and mating body language are covered in the general translation signals above.. (&hanks to 4 %fek. . A$es.) flirting. but. %therwise. -lease send any you can contribute.ara. but for the purposes of this article it's easier to keep the two situations separate. )itting opposite someone is an e ample. ) 6ydogmus. E van 4uin.

6nd while not technically part of body language. 1or e ample. &he attention stage is even more critical in crowded and highly competitive environments such as nightclubs and dating websites. 4esire. 6ction). 4ifferent tolerances and tacit (implied) permissions apply. environment is a vital aspect of dating and mating. female indications of interest in a male . since steps must be successfully completed in order to achieve the sale at the end. for instance those not good at dancing.ones and not invading closer than the situation warrants. -eople seeking a mate are effectively marketing themselves. "n many ways courtship echoes the selling and advertising model 6"46 (6ttention. !ommonly people head to where everyone else goes . "nterest. 4ancing is further e ample of how body language operates at a different level in se ual-social nightclubs and dating websites . nothing happens without first attracting attention. and those not good at writing and communicating online. 4ancing relates strongly to the attention stage of the dating2mating2courtship process. the primary consideration is given to respecting the personal . *nowing about flirting body language becomes more useful in a favourable environment. personal space becomes the arena for ritual and play.uates to market2audience-targeting in business.but crucially these environments are highly unsuitable markets for many people. a point commonly ignored by people looking for a mate. &he environment in which the dating activity is pursued e. "t's a ritual and a game which humans have played for thousands of years. &his is also known as the Fierarchy of +ffects. "n a se ual flirting conte t however. Hust as a business needs to find the best markets and ways of reaching its target audience.-ersonal space must also be considered in a different way in social-se ual situations compared to work and non-se ual situations# 6t work. so in dating people can seek environments where they can best display their strengths and where relevant 'buyers' will be. and within reason is more of a game than a set of fi ed limits.

!lusters of signals are more reliable. active responsive listening. and legcrossing signals can all be due simply to comfort. &his is due fundamentally to human mating behaviour. and so are able to e press interest and availability in far more ways than males tend to do. etc. rather than e pressions of interest or se ual appeal. eyelash flicker . whereas males make several hundred sperm every day. females also e press interest using the general signalling e plained in the earlier sections. and men respond primarily to female availability and permissions.interest.establishing eye contact then looking away or down is said by many e perts to be the standard initial signal of interest designed to hook male reaction. 1emale interest in males is relatively selective. 6side from the specific flirting and se ual attraction signs below. Fere are the most common female flirting body language signals and meanings. in which essentially women control the chase and the choice.subtle movement of eyelashes to widen eyes briefly. &he reliability of the signal meaning is strengthened when repeated and2or reinforced with longer eye-contact.g. :ale interest in females is by comparison constant and indiscriminate. 6s with interpreting body language generally. 4o the math. prolonged direct eye contact. evolved over many thousands of years. beware of concluding anything based on a single signal. &hese differences in behaviour perhaps mainly e ist because females produce one viable egg per month.. e. eye catch and look away . attentive open alert postures and body positions. about . eye-widening . according to e perts on the sub3ect# eye contact . knee pointing.anything more than a glance indicates initial interest.<< in a lifetime. 1oot pointing. .1emales have very many more ways of attracting attention to themselves than males. as they say. simultaneously increasing attractiveness2appeal.

hair. hence the potency of red lipstick (suggesting increased blood flow) and moistening2licking the lips.standing taller. shoulder glance .one. straightening posture . liking what is seen. which e poses the soft underarm.a soft vulnerable area and erogenous . arousal.significant and potent attraction signal. most famously employed by 4iana -rincess of 5ales.especially of hair.lowering head.interest. preening .pupil dilating .often combined with a slight tossing movement of the head. with eyelashes normally slightly lowered .drawing attention to se ually appealing parts of the bodyK neck.obvious sign of welcoming and friendliness. looking sideways up .lips are significant in signalling because (psychologists say) they mimic the female labia. stomach in . notably in her interview with :artin Bashir in battle for public sympathy following her split with -rince !harles. and hence interest.same as self-touching. self thigh-stroking . flicking hair .additionally selftouching is said to represent transference2imagining of being touched . canting !tilting# head . cleavage. slightly sideways. showing inner wrist or forearm . smiling . thigh. etc. chest out.displays interest and vulnerability2coyness. and looking up .usually while sitting down .also e poses neck. . parted lips .looking sideways towards the target over the shoulder signals availability.a natural response to feeling the urge to appear more appealing.also known as doe-eyes. .and of course demonstration of what it would be like for the target to do the touchingK teasing in other words. moistening lips . self-touching .

for public transport and dense crowds or . leg twine .sitting or standingK leaning forwards towards a person indicates interest and foot pointing. especially when direct facing and not in a crowded environment. or when sitting one-to-one. especially if the foot thrusts in and out of the shoe. leaning forward . -outing displays various emotions. !rowded environments distort the personal space rules. etc.B. for instance using pens. >efer also to personal space rules# less than Ift between people is personalK less than D= inches is intimate and only sustainable when there is some mutual interest and attraction. mirroring .one. picking fluff .positive signal of rela ation or of greater promise. 5hen employed flirtatiously. a wine glass stem.a tight-leg cross 'aimed' (combined with eye contact) at a target. female leg crossing and uncrossing also has obvious se ual connotations and stimulates basic urges in males. etc.phallic transference. a dangling earring. )ee mirroring. shoe-dangling .ing gestures and positions is a signal of interest and attraction.standing opposite . 6n attraction pout looks more like the initial forming of a kiss. in which the fluff picking is merely a prete t or e cuse.removing fluff. . for e ample pro3ection of the lower lip indicates upset.pouting involves tightening the lips togetherK the tongue rises to the roof of the mouth as if ready to swallow. hair. not always a se ual engagement. where implied permissions (e.direction can indicate person of interest. but in flirting allows direct eye contact and optimi. '. knee-pointing . fondling cylindrical ob ects ..mirroring or synchroni.. pouting .ueues) override normal interpretations.g. increases se ual allure since it emphasises leg shape and tone. foot pointing .normally a confrontational positioning. from the target's clothes is playing in the intimate personal space .

:ale interest is basically always switched on and ready to respond to opportunity when female availability and interest are signalled and noticed. :ost men are interested perpetually in most women. rather than directed at one female in particular. prolonged direct eye contact. but actually mostly women do. but 3ust as easily can merely be an initial filtering stage which progresses no further because other (infinitely variable) personal or situational criteria on either or both sides are not met.5hen considering body language in such detail. not to e plain human relationships. Body language in flirting can be significant in indicating a strong match. :en believe they take the lead. male interest in females 6s stated earlier there are reasons for the relative sparseness of male signals compared to female flirting signals. dilated pupils. (nder many circumstances these might be categorised under the headings 'pathetic' or 'amusing'. and therefore male signals are generally designed to attract the attention of any females. has yet to develop much subtle body language in this area. and these come into play once eye contact and2or pro imity is established. . forward leaning. for e ample widening eyes. remember that males and females rely greatly on conversation and verbal communication to determine mutual attraction as soon as the situation allows. &he most prevalent signals males use to announce their availability and attract female attention are summarised below. despite a couple of million years of evolution. 6lso bear in mind that a lot of flirting happens for fun with no intention of proceeding to se ual or romantic attachment. :ale signals of interest in females essentially follow normal body language rules. &he purpose of this page is chiefly to e plain body language signals. active listening reactions. &he male of the species.

often involving playpunching or wresting other males. etc.ad3usting clothes. builders. acting the fool. fingers pointing to genital area. tattoos . preening and grooming .thumbs out and pointing to genitals. etc . commonly ignored in conventional body language flirting guides. &attoos have been a significant part of human customs for thousands of years. but also to indicate they are available themselves.males who are available and looking for females tend to scan the room. ties. "t's a drastic step to improve one's love life. shoulders back. especially e tensive markings. hands in pockets .legs apart (standing or sitting) . fit. dress .clothing# style. -reviously considered indicative of lower class. but worthy of note. laughing too loudly. and also (in evolutionary terms) suggested strength and machismo. cleanliness. cuffs.a metaphor describing various male antics designed to draw attention to themselves.erect stance. sailors. smell . because the sub3ect is not as simple and negative as traditionally all an e tension of personality and is therefore part of body language. lower intellect. sleeves. !ertain females are attracted by tattoos on men. etc. headtossing. chest out.certain smells are attractive to females but it's a comple and highly personal area yet to be understood well.. &attoos have dramatically altered in society's perceptions in the past generation. room scanning .thumbs in belt loops.posturing . soldiers.e. *chest-thumping* . running hands through or over hair. since the process of obtaining them was painful and even life-threatening. partly to look for available females. tugging at trouser increase si. etc. stomach in. 6nswers on a postcard please. wide stance .here's an interesting one. cowboy stance . &attoos are significant attention- . nowadays they are everywhere on everyone. &hey are decorative.

it's useful to recall the selling and advertising model 6"46 (6ttention.uite a structured process. 1or those blessed with a level of coordination dancing offers an effective way of attracting attention. 6ction). )ignificantly. women are said generally make the first move by signalling interest through establishing eye contact. and given the variety of sub3ects featured.dancing. especially in crowded competitive situations.lots of rhythmic hip and leg work. "nterest. looking away. sweating and occasional grunting. piercings do attract attention and signify the wearer to be different. (followed for many by mutual tolerance2indifference2loathing and acrimonious break-up). in a suitable place of course. has for thousands of years been an opportunity for males and females to display their physical and se ual potential. which is misleading since most flirting happens for fun and rarely progresses beyond non-se ual touching. also provide interesting talking points. and then confusingly for men. stages of courtship &he initial stages of a (usually) male-female se ual relationship are commonly represented as . etc. 4esire. and especially that nothing happens without first attracting attention. 1lirting is a common modern term for the early stages of courtship. "f considering flirting2courtship body language in the conte t of dating and mating. summarised below. or the beginnings of e tra-marital affairs.grabbers. contorted facial e pressions. the lesson is to find a different environment.again more comple than traditionally considered. 1or the less rhythmic. body piercings . "ncidentally courtship traditionally refers to the early stages of a male-female relationship leading up to se . marriage and family life. babies. dancing . . 5ith the e ception perhaps of pogo-ing and head-banging most dance styles replicate se ual movements .

&he process can disintegrate at any moment, often before it begins, because most men are too interested in themselves or the bloody football on the pub telly to notice the eye contact. 5here the process reaches past the first stage, here broadly is how it is said by body language e perts to unfold# D. +ye contact (females typically lower or avert their eyes once firm contact is made). @. >eturned eye contact (by male). 8. :utual smiling. I. -reening, grooming, posturing (male and female). ;. :oving together as regards personal space (male typically walks to female). G. &alking. J. 6ttentive active listening (or simulation of this, sufficient mutually to retain sense of mutual interest). =. )ynchroni,ing2mirroring each other's body language. 7. &ouching (more significantly by the femaleK subtle touching can happen earlier, and at this stage can become more intimate and daring). 6 generation ago this process took a little longer than it does today. 6lcohol accelerates things even more. $ou'll see variations of the above se.uence in body language books, and no doubt in real life too. :ales tend to react to obvious signs of availability shown by females but miss many subtle signals. 1emales give lots of subtle signals, tend not to repeat them too often, and infer lack of interest in a male failing to respond. "t's a wonder that anyone gets together at all. &he fact that most people do confirms that courtship is more comple than we readily understand.

bowing and curtseying body language

6lthough now rare in 5estern society bowing and curtseying are interesting because they illustrate the status and relationship aspects of body language, which are so significant in one-to-one situations. Bowing - Bowing is mainly a male gesture. Bending the upper body downwards towards another person or group is a signal of appreciation or subservience. &he bow was in olden times a standard way for men to greet or acknowledge another person of perceived or officially higher status. &he bow is also a gesture of appreciation and thanks which survives in entertainment and performance. :ale bowing traditionally varied from a modest nod of the head, to a very much more pronounced bend of the body from the hips. 4epth of bend reflects depth of respect or appreciation. 1or added dramatic effect the feet may be moved tightly together. 6 very traditional 5estern bow involves a deeper bend combined with the (normally) right-leg pushing backwards or 'scraping' on the ground, hence the e pression 'bowing and scraping'. &he effect can be augmented by the bower's hand pressing hori,ontally on the stomach, and the other arm e tended, or sweeping e travagantly in a circular motion, made all the more dramatic if combined with removing a hat. )uch behaviour is rare outside of !hristmas pantomimes these days, however interestingly even in modern times you will see men slightly nodding their heads in an involuntary 'semi-bow' when meeting a person and wishing to show respect or admiration. 6s such, the small nod or bow of a head can be a clue to perceived seniority in relationships. Bowing has long been more significant and comple in +astern cultures, where the gesture carries a similar deferential meaning, albeit it within more formal protocols and traditions. &he fundamental body language of bowing is rooted in showing subservience by lowering one's ga,e and body, literally putting the bower at a lower level than the other person. Bowing remains significant in Hapanese culture. .urtsey(curtsy - &he curtsey is the female e.uivalent of the male bow, and in their most e treme versions curtseying and bowing gestures are .uite similar. 6 curtsey is a bend of the knees, combined with a slight bow of the head, and sometimes a lifting of the skirt or dress at each side, at knee-height, by

both hands. &his skirt-lift dates from olden times when this prevented a long skirt from touching wet or muddy ground. &he female curtsey gesture survives in traditional situations such as meeting royalty, or ending a stage or dance performance, in which you might see an older more flamboyant and deeper curtsey entailing one knee bending sideways and the other leg bending behind. !urtseying has effectively now been replaced by handshaking, although as with male bowing it is possible sometimes to see small head bows by women when meeting and shaking hands with someone regarded as superior or important. Bowing and curtseying as conscious intentional gestures have effectively disappeared from 5estern behaviour, but importantly people's body language continues to give much smaller unconscious signals which can be linked to these old formal gestures and their meanings.

body language glossary
&his is not an e haustive collection of body language terminology - 3ust a summary of the main and most interesting definitions. absorbed actions - actions stimulated through unconscious mirroring. active listening - listening very attentively and empathi,ing and reflecting back understanding through body language and usually words too. adaptors - small signals given when an ious or when behaving in a way that does not comfortably match the feelings, for e ample lip-biting or face-touching, which are selfcomforting signals. alerting(announcement gestures - indicating need to speak, for e ample raising a hand, or taking a breath and lifting the shoulders. american leg cross - the '6merican' or '1igure-I' leg cross entails the supporting leg being crossed 3ust above the knee by

effectively involuntary stress-induced physiological behaviours.uickened pulse-rate.positive body language reactions to a speaker. and how these key aspects inter-relate. back-channel signals . 6nthropology has been studied one way or another for thousands of years and became established under that name in the D. autonomic(automatic signals . notably among males. which while in many cases will speed as a physiological response to stress. &he word anthropology is from Ereek anthropos meaning human being. "nvoluntary in the sense that it is virtually impossible to control these signals because they are controlled by the very basic part of the brain responsible for our most basic bodily functions.ual on both sides). hence the name. and ongoing) is probably the largest anthropological study ever performed.<<s.describing gestures or facial e pressions. like psychology and ethnology and ethology. completed in @<<8. can often be controlled and slowed or deepened given suitable conscious effort. . and in e treme cases retching. anthropology . which tends to indicate incongruence or a mi ed signal and not what it might initially seem to mean. which basically mapped the human genetic code (started D77<. essential) conte t for understanding the reasons and purposes of body language. baton signals . vomiting. 6nthropology. shaking. asymmetric(asymmetry . etc.the ankle or lower calf of the crossing leg. that are not symmetrical (e. &his makes a figureI shape. Breathing rate is perhaps the e ception. blushing.gestures which reinforce the rhythm of speech. is a science which over-arches the study of body language. . such as crying. especially a smile. &he Fuman Eenome pro3ect. fainting. socially and in evolutionary terms. and provides useful (and for serious students.the study of humankind in all respects especially culturally.describing self-touching gestures and actions. auto-contact . &he posture is called the 6merican leg cross because of its supposed popularity in the () compared to the (*.

an old term for (typically) male-female relations from initial meeting through to going-out relationship stage.barrier . picking at finger(s) or thumb. especially if the female was from an elite or religiously obsessed family. denial . >egarded as a signal of reluctance or readiness to depart.term for a group of body language signals. cognitive dissonance ..describing signals in which the hands or arms or a table.a stress signal typically prompted by suppression of natural reaction due to fear or other inhibition. . not until the wedding night. thereby betraying true feeling or motive. 'owadays 'courtship' is a much speedier affair and among modern young people can be started. courtship . !ourtship in olden times (broadly since the middle ages up until the mid-late D7<<s) referred to . form a defence or obstruction between two people.submissive behaviour.weight bearing leg is straight. which more reliably indicate meaning or mood than a single signal.signals of denial effectively undo or contradict more conscious typically false or manufactured body language. displacement . etc. !onflicting body language signals can sometimes indicate this attitude or reaction in a person. fully consummated and effectively forgotten in a matter of minutes. through to intimacy. for e ample biting fingernails. and lots of going out for walks and visits to the cinema or theatre. such a folded arms.conflicting understanding or feelings cognition is understanding things through thoughtK dissonance is disharmony or conflict. buttress stance . )e might not rear its scary head for weeks. which indicate this.uite formal steps of increasing familiarity between male and female. usually with the foot pointing outwards from the body. hence compliance signals or signs. while the front leg is forward. &his is a widely used term in psychology and the effect arises very commonly in relationships and communications. or ad3usting clothing. etc. compliance . months or yearsK and sometimes. perhaps with a little touching of hands or kissing. cluster .

for e ample stretching and rela ing.signalling prompted by stress. the Ereek god of love (!upid is >oman).distraction . erogenous 'one . &he word ethnology is derived from Ereek ethnos meaning nation. +motional "ntelligence is based on 'feeling intelligence' (rather than "N "ntelligence Nuotient . was first to invent and commercially market a "(4 (intrauterine device or coil) for female birth control.gestures which reinforce the meaning of spoken words. or pausing to take a drink when an emergency arises. &he word erogenous derives from +ros.ones include necks. +rogenous .the word erogenous first appeared in the late D=<<s which suggests when the effect was first analysed and recorded in any serious sense. and the capability to understand and communicate with others very empathically. emotional intelligence . e. which re. a nobleman.. usually . &he establishment of the science and word ethnology is credited to )lovakian26ustrian 6dam 1ran. concerned with ethnic effects.any part of the human body particularly sensitive to touching and se ual arousal .also known as +N. 6side from the obvious genital areas and bottoms and breasts.based on logical intelligence).uires awareness of emotional behaviour and ability to deal with people sensitively. from which the word erotic also derives. emphatic(emphasi'ing gestures .ones contain high concentration of nerve endings and are significant in flirting and se . "ncidentally the E in E-spot is named after +rnst Erafenberg (D==D-D7. armpits and lips. weighing hands. 3abbing fingers. erogenous . ethnology . inner side of arms and wrists. )ee +motional "ntelligence. +thnology is a branch of anthropology. *ollar (DJD=-DJ=8). professor and librarian who became a !ourt !ouncilor for the Fabsburg :onarchy of the *ingdom of .uite inappropriate to the needs of the situation.J) a Eerman-born gynaecological doctor and scientist who as well as being an e pert on the female orgasm.g.the study of different ethnic people and their differences and relationships. and where this involves behaviour it certainly relates to body language.

from the Ereek word haptikos. society's understanding of these issues remains clouded and confused. +thnic differences between people obviously e ist. eyebrow flash .ewinner *onrad Loren. 4esmond :orris.the study of human touch.a term apparently originated by !harles 4arwin. ethology .a sudden direct glance to attract attention or warn.upwards eye-roll signalling frustration. eye flash . is an ethologist. &he word haptics in this sense entered the +nglish language in the D=<<s. or surprise. author of &he 'aked 6pe. Fybrid e pressions provide further emphasis of the need to . 6n eyebrow flash can therefore also be a signal of positive interest.uality obstructs debate. meaning able to touch.ethology is primarily the science of animal behaviour.Fungary. &he modern study and awareness of ethnology is arguably hampered by sensitivities around racism. +thology became properly established during the early D7<<s. for e ample a smile with a head-turn away from the person the smile is meant for. as it once was. but increasingly e tends to human behaviour and social organi. 5here ethology considers animal evolution and communications. eye shrug . derived from the Ereek word ethos meaning character or disposition. it relates strongly to human body language. face frame . )o is the evolutionary biologist >ichard 4awkins.uickly raising and lowering both eyebrows typically in greetings. acknowledgement. which indicates when human touch began to be a serious area of study. !harles 4arwin's work pioneered much ethological thinking. it refers to a facial e pression which combines two seemingly different or opposing meanings. usually followed by some other more specific signal.ation. and ironically where over-sensitivity to racism and e. 6ustrian . recognition. haptics .oologist and D7J8 'obel -ri. hybrid expression . &he word ethology first appeared in +nglish in the late D=<<s. (D7<8-=7) was a founding figure..framing the face with the hands to hold or attract listeners' attention.

mask(masking .a wonderful term for the muscles around the mouth.tiny body language 'leakage' signals. c.a termed devised by body language e pert Hudi Hames. kine . hence used mostly in pointing gestures. oo. etc.<s.gestures which shape or describe the physical dimensions of something by using the hands in the air.@. &he word labial in phonetics means closure or part closure of the mouth. micro-gestures . labial tractors .D7. &he word kinesics was first used in +nglish in this sense in the D7. like w.using body language. from the Ereek word kinesis. metronome(metronomic signals . and which therefore offer clues even when someone is generally in good control of their outgoing body language signals. meaning motion. and additionally refers to the resulting vowel sounds produced. to deceive others as to true feelings or motives. usually intentionally.first finger of the hand . %inesics is pronounced 'kineesicks' with stress on the 'ee'). illustrative gesture . !ombinations of signals and conte t are necessary.leakage signals are the small signs which are most difficult to control or mask. more likely to be seen and reacted to unconsciously rather than consciously.these are any rhythmic tappings or movements which indicate a readiness or selfprompting to speak or take action. kinesics . especially to make sense of hybrid e pressions which contain different meanings. leakage . .avoid reading single signals. from the longer term kinesics).the technical term for body obscure term describing a single body language signal (devised by body language e pert 4r >ay Birdwhistell. index finger .usually the most dominant and de terous finger. unless concentrating determinedly. often unconsciously sent and interpreted.

-hysiognomy refers to facial features and e pressions which indicate the person's character or nature.the synchroni.significant in body language because an open palm has for thousands of years indicated that no weapon is concealed.mime(miming gestures . meaning source or womb.inside surface of the hand .ing or matching of body language (and speech characteristics). from yoni. -hallic refers to something which looks like or represents a penis.uivalent term is a yonic symbol. 5hen a person's signals are mirrored the unconscious mind thinks. submissiveness. usually between two people.$(/euro-linguistic programming . -hallic symbols are prevalent in psychology and aspects of flirting or se ual body language.phallus means penis. :irroring works like this because similar signals produce unconscious feelings of affirmation. such as e tending the thumb and little finger by the ear to say A-hone me. /. and he2she likes me too. A&his person is like me and agrees with the way " am.gestures used consciously to convey a specific message. body movement and thought to optimise self-control and development. Findu for vulva and a symbolic circular stone representing divine procreation. from the ancient Ereek word phallos of the same meaning. -acing refers to the mirroring of someone's speed of movements. which helps build feelings of trust and empathy. which survives as perhaps a genetically inherited signal of peace.a branch of psychology developed in the D7G<s which combines language. often called a phallic symbol. notably mirroring and eye movements.research has fuelled much of the analytical aspects of modern popular body language. 'L. $oni was originally an old )anskrit word.A or wiping imaginary sweat from the brow to e press relief after a crisis subsides. mirroring . and +mpathy.A )ee 'L('euro-Linguistic -rogramming). physiognomy . and relationships and communications with obscure yet related concept to body language. or . phallus(phallic . palm . " like this person because we are similar. etc. &he female e. cooperation.

the technical term for the personal space aspect of body language. nauseous.the round black centre of the eye which enlarges or contracts to let more or less light into the eye. +nlarged pupils are not a symptom of smoking drugs as commonly believed. scissor stance . feeling faint. and earlier Ereek (phusiognominia). fear. meaning (the art or capability of) 3udging a person's nature from his2her facial features and e pressions. yawning. rictus . &he word and much of the fundamental theory was devised by +dward &witchell Fall.standing leg cross. proxemics . an 6merican anthropologist in the late D7. &he word physiognomy is derived from medieval Latin. +nlarged pupils are also associated with desire and allure. anger. typically represented as happiness. and contracts in brightness. &his is probably a confusion arising from the fact that conditions are relatively dark when such 3udgements are made. meaning closeness or nearness. attract sympathy. often made to avert attack. physiological signals . weeping. &he word is Fall's adaptation of the word pro imity.gestures of childlike vulnerability. attention.body language produced by the unconscious basic brain which controls bodily functions. breathlessness. and linked to universal facial e pressions and recognition. physiology . pupil . disgust. ?arious meanings very dependant on conte t and other signals. primary emotions . sadness.<s and early D7G<s. etc.a fi ed grimace. etc. usually resulting from shock or nervousness.ethnic origin. . notably parts of the human body. or to induce feelings of compassion. &he pupil generally enlarges (dilates) in the dark. which in body language can be signals such as sweating. pseudo-infantile gestures . repulsion.the branch of biology concerned with how living organisms function. blushing. 1rom Latin word meaning 'open mouth'. surprise.first identified by !harles 4arwin.

(noun) .a slang term similar to 'a show' recently adopted by body language commentators which means a signal. tie signs(signals . etc).a technical term e. . )ynchroni. steepling .uating to mirroring or matching of body language between two people.forming the fingers into a a pointed roof shape. &he principles of synchroni. whereas the mirroring term normally makes people think of visual signals only. submission(submissive .(noun) .gestures signalling attempting to increase mental work-rate or activity.self-motivating gestures . as if winding the body up. &he term is slang really. :ay be conscious and formal as in bowing. or unconscious as in slightly lowering the head and stance.describing body language which signals inferiority feelings towards another is technically more appropriate since it naturally includes audible signals (voice pace and pitch. like tapping the head repeatedly or making circular motions with the hands. synchroni'ing . body language references sources and books )ome of the older books listed here have since been republished by different publishers.ed body language definitely include audible signals in addition to physical visual signs. show .signals between lovers or intimate couples which discreetly convey messages to each other and which are not usually intended for anyone else. )ee mirroring.a 'tell' . tell .a 'show' is term recently adopted by body language commentators referring to a body language signal. 1or terminology to become casually 'hip' in this way reflects the mainstream appeal of body language as a sub3ect. often signalling elevated thinking or arrogance. not technical.

. &he &erritorial "mperative. other audible signals . @<<=. I 6pr D7G7 ! Boyes. -ro emics . ! >K !herry. -arloff O BoomerK 1rank. Body Language. !ape Hulius 1ast. E 1. D7@D !harles 4arwin. D7GG. 'K 5atchtel. +K *in. 6ddison 5esley >obert 6rdrey. 6 1K :ehrabian O 5ienerK 'ielsen.. 'eed to *now Body Language. EK Loren. 'o 8=J.ell. )cience ?ol DGI. D7. &he Body Language Bible. @<<D. "nternational (niversities -ress + & Fall. Body Language for 4ummies.. :urray +dward &witchell Fall. . &he 'aked 6pe. >andom Fouse %ther significant and founding body language writers include# &inbergen. 5iley Hudi Hames.+kman. D7GJ. D7JD. L *K Eoffman. -an 4 Fartland and ! &osh.5illhelm 5undt. D7. @<<. !K 4ittman. &he Fidden 4imension. 4ell 4esmond :orris. &he Language of Eestures. @<<J.LK )chlefen.6 )tudy of :an's )patial >elationship.I. &he + pressions of the +motions in :an and 6nimals. HK !arpenter. &he )ilent Language. 4oubleday + & Fall. D=J@. !a ton . Fandbook of )ocial -sychology. &he author >oger + 6 tell writes entertainingly and informatively about international body language and behaviours. D7G8.uiri. + > )orenson and 5 ? 1riesen. D7GG. *K :ahl. Farper !ollins + *uhnke. 4oubleday H ) Bruner and > &a. &he -erception of -eople. -an-!ultural +lements in 1acial 4isplays of +motion. Euide to Body Language.7. 6 +K %rtega $ Easset.

from whispering to shouting volume variation (how volume changes in phrases or longer passages of speech) intonation and 'musicality' (how the pitch changes according to what is being said) timbre (. such as nervous laughter) and all sorts of other audible2vocal effects.A A$ou know..&his section is not particularly scientific..uality or sound of the voice.. false or e aggerated . not least when we think about vocabulary.for e ample lots of pro3ection. But what about all the other noises and silences from people's mouths/ %ther audible signals which are not generally regarded as part of body language or non-verbal communications include for e ample# • • • • • • • • • • • • • pitch (the contant musical note of the voice) pace (speed or rate of talking) volume . mood. which is another sub3ect. silences and hesitation 'erm's and 'erh's gasps. 5ords themselves convey their own meaning. or none. and other intakes and e halations of breath habits. or separate signals. %ther audible signals (apart from the words themselves) also give lots of clues about feeling.permanent or temporary.A ALike..A laughing and giggling (which can be interspersed within speech. "t's more for interest and to make a general point# Body language and the spoken words themselves do not provide all the clues.. as if mumbling) pauses... and how this changes) emphasis (of syllables. for e ample social . word-choice. there are others. etc. motive and personality.. tuts. such as A" think. as if talking to a big group. grammar. including# • accents and dialects • accent affectations ('received' or conditioned.. words or phrases) pro3ection (where the voice is being pro3ected to .

6ll of this audible signalling happens for a purpose. which hinders translation and specific interpretation. mispronunciation) drying up. stuttering (as distinct from a stammer) overtalking (feeling the need to fill a silence) interrupting holding back (someone has something to say but isn't saying it) coughs and grunts (some types of coughing suggest something other than a tickly throat) belching and burping whistling tongue clicking. or a voice for talking to authority figures) mistakes (spoonerisms. initially simply being aware of these signals will begin to shape an appreciation of their significance. and thereby of relationship and attitude towards other people. and they can all convey more and2or different meaning compared to the spoken words themselves. and possibly also in ourselves. %ther aspects can be more subtle indicators of social background or aspiration. . !ommonly the more noticeable unnecessary signals are embellishments or defensiveness . raspberries. 4espite this.a kind of showing-off or protection. &hese other audible signals represent a big and comple area which seems yet to have been researched and analysed to the e tent that body language has. etc &echnically these signals are not body language or non-verbal communications. teeth-sucking. but all of these sounds (and silences) are . malapropisms. and ordinary people who have a 'telephone voice'.uite different from the spoken words. 5e might not easily know what the purpose is.• • • • • • • • • climbers. 6lso cultural differences are potentially influential. being lost for words. in others. and in many cases their underlying meanings. but being aware of it is the start of being able to understand it better.

!ertain principles of graphology (handwriting analysis) are helpful in understanding how people use words and language in a wider sense. " am grateful to )andra :c!arthy for her help in producing this guide to body language. trust.'euro-Linguistic -rogramming 6ssertiveness and )elf-!onfidence +motional "ntelligence cliches.for relationships.including Levels of Listening 4ating and matchmaking 'L. customer retention. conflict and levels of listening types . communications. diffusing conflict and handling complaints empathy skills . e pressions and words origins !lean Language Bloom's &a onomy of Learning 4omains -ersonality )tyles and -sychometrics :odels empathy. complaints. &he style and nature of our written and vocal e pressions inevitably provide a reflection of our feelings and personality.Hohari enthusiasts might en3oy seeking feedback and asking others about what their own signals mean.. that is if you2they are aware of the behaviours. see also • • • • • • • • • • &ransactional 6nalysis +mpathy .

. :ost modern gurus in the areas of communications. especially when handling complaints. +mpathy and trust are essential to develop solutions. &his places e tra pressure on the process of arriving at a deal.+mpathy and trust are a platform for effective understanding. &hese days we need to be more effective communicators to be successful in business . %ne-sided persuasion is not sustainable and is often insulting. is essential for effective. and very special skills are now needed to manage the situations in which business is done. empathy helps. +mpathy and trust are essential for handling complaints and retaining customers. &he 'steps of the sale'. understanding and sympathetic communications do. !reating trust and rapport helps us to have sensible 'adult' discussions (see &ransational 6nalysis. constructive relationships.and in life. persuasion. diffusing conflict.ues. management and self-development refer in one way or another to the importance of empathy . 5hether for selling. which is another useful model for understanding more about empathy). features and benefits do not build rapport or relationships . 6 certain legacy of the days of the hard-sell is that many consumers and business people are more reluctant to e pose themselves to situations where they may be asked to make a decision. closing techni. Being able to 'step back'. customer retention.empathy. communication and relationships. and achieve a detachment from our own emotions.really understanding the pther person's position and feelings. handling complaints. trust. trust . win and retain business. &rust and empathy are far more important in achieving and sustaining successful personal and business relationships. and avoiding or diffusing conflict.and understanding the other person*s standpoint -art of the 'empathy process' is establishing trust and rapport.

not necessarily agreeing (which is different) . 4r )tephen !ovey (of '&he )even Fabits %f Fighly +ffective -eople'P fame) is one of many modern advocates who urge us to strive deeply to understand the other person's point of view.we all tend to be more interested in announcing our own views . Listening without 3udging. :ostly. collaborative approach (and it is not retricted to buying and selling). 5e must work with people collaboratively.they 3ust take turns to speak .+stablishing trust is about listening and understanding . 6 useful focus to aim for when listening to another person is to try to understand how the other person feels. which often includes helping them to see the way to do it (which is central to )haron 4rew :orgen's approach). and then help tem to see the ways achieve it. &he act of doing all this establishes trust. and to discover what they want to achieve. &he most brilliant and effective speaker utlimately comes undone if he2she fails to listen properly. and then try help them to achieve it. Listening does not come naturally to most people. modern. listening %f all the communications skills. to enable them to see what they the other person. "t is difficult and rarely appropriate to try to persuade another person to do what we wantK instead we must understand what the other person wants. listening is arguably the one which makes the biggest difference. )haron 4rew :orgen's Buying 1acilitation concept is another signpost towards this more open. people don't listen . so we need to work hard at itK to stop ourselves '3umping in' and giving our opinions.

as you will see below. passive(not listening . facial e pressions. which serves as a constant reminder for the need to listen to the other person before you can e pect them to listen to you. or an engine noise. Below is an attempt to encompass and e tend good current listening theory in an accessible and concise way. 6lso. ?arious people have constructed listening models.'dead air' as it's known in broadcasting. $ou might instead be listening to a musical performance. pretend listening . listening in its fullest sense.also called 'responsive listening' using stock nods and smiles and uhum. )ometimes listening involves noticing a silence or a pause .and e periences than really listening and understanding others. &his is ironinic since we all like to be listened to and understood. and the reactions of the speaker and the listeners to each other. levels of listening . &ypically they are presented as levels of listening. Bear in mind that listening is rarely confined merely to words. for the purpose of understanding and assessing what is actually happening or being said. ultimately includes many non-verbal and non-audible factors. "n summary first# D. cultural elements. such as body language. . reactions of others. etc. and then to be understood'.*effective listening* &here are different types of listening.nothing .noise in background . )ometimes what you are listening to will include other sounds or intonation or verbal2emotional noises. yes. or a crowded meeting.ignoring @. of course. Fe coined the e pression# ')eek first to understand. !ovey says rightly that when we are understood we feel affirmed and validated.

This is a common type o listening that gro#n+ups do #ith children. 2gnoring #ould be another #ay to describe this type o listening. 2%m talking to youH? /specially i the speaker is a small child. This level o listening is called 1esponsive Listening in some other models. although Pretend $istening is arguably a more apt term. empathic listening .understanding and checking facts and feelings. understanding fully. usually to listener's personal agenda E.unconsciously overlaying your own interpretations and making things fit when they don't .ed look in your eyes and say irmly something like. but passive listening + #hich #e might more aptly call 3ot $istening + is obviously da t and can be do#nright dangerous i the communications are important. @ou #ill generally kno# #hen you are Pretend $istening because the speaker #ill see that gla. active listening . ?(ill you please $isten to me.listening. and Pretend $istening re lects that there is an element o deceit on the part o the listener to#ards the speaker..'selective listening' and intentionally disregarding2dismissing the other person's views I. 7 F 2iased Listening .personally-driven fact gathering and analysis often with manipulation of the other person G. facilitative listening .understanding feelings and gathering facts for largely selfish purposes J.8. since the #ord %responsive% suggests a much higher level o care in the listener. attentive listening . There is nothing #rong #ith passive listening i it%s truly not important. and helping. misunderstood listening . with the other person's needs uppermost 1ull version# levels and types of listening 1 /assive Listening 3oise in the background + you are not concentrating on the or Not Listening sounds at all and nothing is registering #ith you. biased(pro ective listening . /retend Listening @ou are not concentrating and #ill not remember anything because you are actually daydreaming or being distracted by something else even though you #ill occasionally nod or agree using %stock% sa e replies. @ou are listening and taking in a certain amount o in ormation.

@ou are pro1ecting your position onto the speaker and the #ords. and observing body 4 3isunderstood Listening C (ttentive !4ata" 5nly! Listening D (ctive Listening . @ou #ould normally be a#are that you are doing this. reaction o speaker to your o#n listening and reactions. This third level o listening is also called Selective Listening in some other models.. This type o listening #ins battles and loses #ars + i.ttentive $istening is a higher level o listening than 6isunderstood $istening because it can gather reliable acts. #hich is a big di erence bet#een the next level and this one. but it ails to gather and suitably respond to emotions and eelings. 2t can be highly manipulative and orce ul. This is a type o listening that is prone to big risks because i you are not made a#are o your ailings you #ill leave the discussion under a very #rong impression o the acts and the eelings o the other person. or a resistance to the speaker. . #hich is especially risky i the other person%s position is potentially troublesome.e. and the situation o the other person. .rrogant people like politicians and company directors #ho surround themselves #ith agreeable accomplices can all into seriously ingrained habits o 6isunderstood $istening. @ou have an interest and perhaps some lexibility in respect o the #ords spoken and your reactions to them. This is listening to #ords.or /ro#ective Listening but because you already have such irm opposing or di erent vie#s. 2t%s a deluded orm o listening. intonation. This is ine #hen the purpose o the communication is merely to gain0convey cold acts and igures. such as tone o voice. This is a type o pro1ective listening like level three above. @ou #ould do this typically because you are under pressure or very de ensive. @ou listen only to the content. but tends to #reck chances o building anything constructive and sustainable. but because you are not thinking ob1ectively and purely you are putting your o#n interpretation on #hat you are hearing + making the #ords it #hat you expect or #ant them to it. .ttentive "ata+<nly $istening is typically driven by a strong personal results motive. you are not allo#ing anything that is said or any noises made to in luence your attitude and level o kno#ledge and understanding. but you #ill not normally be a#are that you are doing it until it is pointed out to you. and ail to receive all the non+ verbal sounds and signals. it can achieve short+term gains. and the circumstances underneath the super icial #ords or sounds. This is a common orm o listening among %push and persuade% sales people. but it is very inade'uate or other communications re'uiring an assessment o eelings and motives. acial expression.

@ou #ill be honest in expressing disagreement but at the same time expressing genuine understanding. . breathlessness. lo#. but importantly the listener does not incorporate the eelings into reactions. @ou #ill be instinctively or consciously bringing elements o 3$P )neuro+ linguistic programming* and Transactional ..g. This listening gathers acts and to a limited extent eelings too. style. sel ishness. includingB • • • • • • • tone o voice other verbal aspects + e. and all other relevant signals. volume. emphasis acial expression body language cultural or ethnic or other aspects o the person #hich #ould a ect the #ay their communications and signals are a ecting you eeling + not contained in a single sense + this re'uires you to have an overall collective appreciation through all relevant senses )taste is perhaps the only sense not employed here* o ho# the other person is eeling you able to see and eel the situation rom the other person%s position @ou are also reacting and giving eedback and checking understanding #ith the speaker. @ou #ill be summarising and probably taking notes and agreeing the notes too i it%s an important discussion. or emotional immaturity.ctive and /mpathic listening. 2t #ill also be possible ) or one #ho kno#s* to interpret the exchange rom the perspective o having improved the relationship and mutual a#areness in terms o the Iohari (indo# concept. pace.ctive listening o ten includes a manipulative motive or tactics. . or empathy. #hich are certainly not present in the empathic level next and higher. or by personal insecurity. This can be due to the listener being limited by policy or rules. 9 6mpathic Listening or 6mpathetic Listening @ou are listening #ith ull attention to the sounds. There is no transmitted sympathy or identi ication #ith the other persons eelings and emotional needs.nalysis into the exchange. and #hich is a simple #ay to di erentiate bet#een .ed and emotionally under control even or very di icult discussions.languageand acial expressions. and giving eedback + but critically this type o listening is empty o t#o+#ay emotional involvement. #hich hope ully )i your listening empathy is o a decent standard* #ill keep emotions civili.

and to #eigh the conse'uences o the other person%s behaviour even i the other person cannot. and #hich can be very di icult notice using only the aims o and skills #ithin empathic listening. 5acilitative $istening also re'uires that you have thought and prepared very care ully about #hat you #ill ask and ho# you #ill respond.ation + as described in 6aslo#%s . other than to extend help. 2t is devoid o any sel ish personal motive.E 7acilitative Listening This goes beyond even empathic listening because it implies and re'uires that you are able to extend an especially help ul approach to the other person or people. There is a suggestion o transcendence and sel +actuali. Q6lan !hapman @<<7-DD )ee also the summary and interpretation of :ehrabian's communications theory. and the extent to #hich you are hearing and observing genuine %adult% sounds and signals )as distinct rom emotionally ske#ed outputs*. . matters o la#. This does not mean that you are making decisions or recommendations or the other person + it means you are exercising caution on their behal .nalysis theory comes close to explaining the aspects o mood and %game+playing% #hich many people exhibit a lot unconsciously. in the event that the other person is not being true to themselves. . 2n this respect you are acting rather like a protector or guardian. 5acilitative $istening is not generally possible i the circumstances ) or example organisational rules and policy. 6any people do not give themselves ade'uate pause or thought #hen listening and responding at an empathic level. even i you pause to think and prepare your responses during the exchange. 5acilitative listening contains a strong additional element o being interested in helping the other person see and understand their options and choices. which considers communications from the standpoint of the 'receiver' of communications. This element is not necessarily present in empathic listening. and it's implications for the 'sender' of communications.nother crucial di erence is the capability to interpret the cognisance + sel +a#areness + o the speaker.ierarchy o 3eeds theory + #ithin the approach to 5acilitative $istening. #hich cannot truth ully be said o any o the preceding levels o listening. The other person%s interests are at the ore ront. etc* demand a aster resolution and o er little or no lee#ay or extending help. emergency. 5acilitative $istening is not an age or money+related capability. #hich is vital i you are in a position o responsibility or in luence to#ards them. rather than achieve any sort o normal material gain. 2t is an attitude o mind. 2t%s a po#er ul thing. /ric Berne%s Transactional .

which produces intuition and empathy .ation levels and compensation offerings. )trong left basal enables good processing and follow-up. which has implications for authori. &here is a difference between 'understanding' someone and 'agreeing' with them# everyone in the organisation should have the training. &he measurement and monitoring of complaints.and should have the training and authority to 'agree' where appropriate.uadrant . )trong right . which is adaptable beyond selling and business. from a staff-selection perspective. from receipt to resolution is also vital# the organisation must have suitable systems and commitment to do this. handling complaints and customer retention in organi'ations &he principle of ownership is central to complaints handling# if you receive a complaint or .which means that you must always follow-up and check on progress and eventually resolution and satisfaction.)ee )haron 4rew :orgen's theory of Buying 1acilitation. "ncidentally. and which relates strongly to.make good complaint receivers. to understand and to convey that they understand .even if you escalate it or delegate it .complaints enable . and has amongst other significant influences.uality improvement and ultimately improve relations with customers (the vast ma3ority of customers are more loyal after the complaint is resolved satisfactorily than they were before the complaint arose).whether they are right or wrong . helped to inspire the concept of 1acilitative Listening.uery you continue to own it until it is resolved . especially from the very top. )eek complaints and feedback# the organisation should welcome complaints and should encourage staff to ask for them . people with strong right basal brain .to see the reality of the other person's position and feelings . encouragement and ability.

competitive. which is completely illogical. . trust and rapport training to improve customer service Fere are some pointers as to how you can develop empathy skills for customer service staff. (se a training e ercise to identify rapport-establishing phrases. removing any chance to save the customer.iger page. and yet the benefits from customer satisfaction. because complaints are relatively rare and the real cost of compensation is relatively ine pensive. 6ll initial effort must be to establish rapport and understanding .style must be highly sympathetic and interested (the tendency is for tone to be confrontational. 4emonstrate also how it can take several minutes to do this sometimes several conversations. practice and demonstrate suitable tone . observe how easy it is to shatter rapport by moving into persuasive mode. ()ee the Ben. and then make sure they avoid them.uestions. and situations where customer retention is a strong priority. )tay 'with' the customer . increased loyalty and positive word-of-mouth.the persuasive approach immediately polarises customer service representative and customerK the resulting emotional issue then dominates. &hrough role-play.frontal enables good creative problem-solving. etc. !ustomers resist strongly being persuaded against their urge to contact and terminate a contract .generally regardless of whether they are right or wrong.understand (not necessarily . challenging. (se a training e ercise to flush out all the 'wrong' ways to handle these customer situations . which makes matters worse).) (se the 'over-compensation' principle# always look after complaining customers e tremely well . are enormous by comparison. and then role-play to's often much easier for a group to identify (via role play and2or syndicates) wrong ways. especially in call-centres.without the rapport nothing can be done. %rganisations often begrudge compensating complaining customers.

' . ("t's easy to fall into the confrontation trap because so much sales training and e perience is based on the power of persuasion.there is no instinct here to persuade the friend to 'get a grip' or 'snap out of it' . &rust. !ertainly a customer will not begin to reconsider if they 'dislike' the other person . (se a training e ercise to identify approaches.customers are far more likely to rethink and stay if they 'like' the person on the other end of the phone. empathy and understanding are powerful relationship-builders.uestions in the first place.the natural sympathetic response is the basis of building trust and empathy and rapport. etc. (se a training e ercise to identify suitable empathic information-gathering .what do we need to know in order to help. to view customers' situations ob3ectively with the customers . or worse still implied or direct threat. rapport. and ' readymade' phrases. and how to position the need to ask ..instead they become empowered to accelerate and reinforce withdrawal from the moment they feel the slightest bit challenged or opposed. . how to ask for this information. such as penalties.'let's look at this together and see what the options are.rather than the tendency to go head-to-head and counter the customer's position with superior argument. and form the bedrock of sustainable business and careers.listen for the natural empathy and sympathy . once initial rapport has been established. rather than present an opposing proposition.the same as agreeing) and sympathise.) &he secret to customer retention is the relationship in the first few seconds .. >ole-play sympathetic phrases and tone for this scenario# you meet a friend in the street and learn from them that they have suffered an upsetting e perience . which is in itself highly confrontational in defensive scenarios.uestions . 3ustification. allowing the discussion to develop.

:ost people are not naturally assertive.assertiveness and selfconfidence how to help build. . "t is based on short-term rewards and results. boost. 1or anyone seeking to increase their own assertiveness it is helpful to understand the typical personality and motivation of e cessively dominant people. 5hen most people talk about wanting to be more assertive. and a force for what is right.dominance for the sake of being dominant . ''on-assertive' people (in other words 'normal people') do not generally want to transform into being e cessively dominant people. developmental. 'Fow can " e ert a little more control in situations that are important to me/' -ure assertiveness . &he assertive behaviour of highly dominant people tends to be driven by their personality (and often some insecurity). :ost people tend to be passive by nature. who incidentally cause the most worry to non-assertive people. and develop self-confidence and assertiveness Building self-confidence and assertiveness is probably a lot easier than you think. "t's helpful also at this point to e plain the difference between leadership with dominance# Eood leadership is inclusive. it includes them and involves not a natural behaviour for most people. and it fails completely to make effective use of team-members' abilities and potential. mostly for the benefit of the dominant. "t is not something that has been 'trained'. what they usually really mean is# • • • 'Fow can " become more able to resist the pressure and dominance of e cessively dominant people/' 'Fow can " stand up to bullies (or one bully in particular)/' 6nd also. 4ominance as a management style is not good in any circumstances. Eood leadership does not 'dominate' non-assertive people.

&he dominant bullying behaviour is effectively reinforced by the response given by 'secure' and 'nonassertive' people to bullying. &heir own terms are generally concerned with satisfying their ego and selfish drives to get their own way. +arly childhood e periences play an important part in creating bullies. &hey dominate because they are too insecure to allow other people to have responsibility and influence. because in their own terms it works. bullying people. to control. monetary wealth. and so it persists. sympathy is advocated as a more constructive. 6nd although it's a tough challenge for anyone on the receiving end of their behaviour they actually deserve sympathy.&he fact is that most e cessively dominant people are usually bullies. and they certainly don't normally want to become bullies.' 4oing this is not really so hard. and using simple techni. . &he bully gets his or her own way. immunity from challenge and interference. make decisions. etc. and this behaviour is generally conditioned from childhood for one reason or another. 'on-assertive people do not normally actually aspire to being e cessively dominant people. usually from a very young age. 1ather. become positively conditioned to bullying behaviour. such as 'yes-men' followers ('body-guards'). 5hen most people talk about wanting to be more assertive. stronger. 3udgement.uite en3oyable and fulfilling. /. and particularly to establish protective mechanisms. to achieve status (often implanted by insecure ambitious parents). to collect material signs of achievement. 0ympathy is not proposed here to be a sole or significant tactic in countering bullying.B. &he bullying dominant behaviour is rewarded. Bullies are deep-down very insecure people. 4ominant.ues it can even be . to manipulate. Bullies are victims as well as aggressors. build empires. what they really mean is '"'d like to be more able to resist the pressure and dominance of e cessively dominant people. scrutiny. alternative feeling to being fearful or intimidated.

uestions.ues and methods for developing self-confidence and more assertive behaviour. rather than trying to adopt a generally more assertive personal style (which could be counter-productive and stressful. and often it is the most appropriate behaviour for most situations don't be fooled into thinking that you always have to be more assertive. 1eel sympathy for bullies .ues below).anticipate . not to control others.other people's behaviour and prepare your responses."mportantly. 1or people who are not naturally assertive. *now the facts relating to the situation and have the details to hand. assertiveness and self-confidence methods and techni"ues D. not's a proven successful techni. Fave faith that your own abilities and style will ultimately work if you let them. -repare and use good open .ues. Be ready for . or when confronted by a more dominant character or influence.. -eople seeking to be more assertive can dramatically increase their effective influence and strength by using 3ust one or two of these four behaviours prior to. G.ue). (nderstand where you want to be# what level of assertiveness do you want/ -robably to defend yourself. @. . 4.a true starting point# non-assertive behaviour is a sign of strength usually. Fere are some simple techni. and to control your own choices and destiny (which are relatively easy using the techni.they actually need it. 8. >e-condition and practice your own new reactions to aggression (posters can help you think and become how you want to be . it is possible to achieve a perfectly suitable level of assertiveness through certain simple methods and techni. the non-assertive person should understand where they really are . or prior to and when dealing with a situation in which they would like to e ert more control. because it would not be natural).display positive writings where you will read them often . .

etc. force and reputation. especially if . in any situation. and taking the wind out of someone's sails.uestions is the most reliable way of gaining the initiative. for e ample. anticipate other people*s behaviour and prepare your responses 6nticipate other people's behaviour and prepare your own responses. "f you know and can produce facts to support or defend your position it is unlikely that the aggressor will have anything prepared in response. >ole-play in your mind how things are likely to happen.4esiderata. and also dramatically improve your reputation for being someone who is organised and firm. be able to . solicit opinion and views. Being well prepared will increase your self-confidence and enable you to be assertive about what's important to you. !herie !arter-)cott's 'rules of life'. constructive. prepare your facts. know the facts and have them to hand +nsure you know all the facts in advance . over which you'd like to have some influence. 5hen you know that a situation is going to arise. -repare other people to support and defend you. *ipling's "f.uote sourcesK then you will be able to make a firm case. >ui.J. >ead inspirational things that reinforce your faith in proper values and all the good things in your own natural style and self. incisive and probing. do your research. get the facts and figures. 5imbrow's &he Euy "n &he Elass. Bullies usually fail to prepare their factsK they dominate through bluster. 6sking good . -repare your responses according to the different scenarios that you think could some research. do the sums. and have it on hand ready to produce (and give out copies if necessary).'s &he 1our 6greements. Nuestions that bullies dislike most are deep. prepare and use good open "uestions -repare and use good .uestions to e pose flaws in other people's arguments.

uestion e poses a lack of thought." need to consider what you have 3ust said. -ractice and condition new reactions in yourself to resist. or re-phrase it (which you can prepare as well). and 'making like a brick wall' in the face of someone else's attempt to dominate you without 3ustification.uestion is avoided or ignored return to it. "f the . re-condition and practice your own new reactions to aggression >e-conditioning your own reaction to dominant people. and presenting wellprepared facts and evidence. for fear that someone might shout at you or have a tantrum. asking firm clear.' 6lso practice saying '"'m not sure about that. probing .the . particularly building your own 'triggered reactions'. "f you are worried about your response to being shouted at then practice being shouted at until you realise it really doesn't hurt .it 3ust makes the person doing the shouting look daft. saying firmer things.' &here are other ways to help resist bulldo. 1or e ample# • • • • • • '5hat is your evidence (for what you have said or claimed)/' '5ho have you consulted about this/' 'Fow did you go about looking for alternative solutions/' 'Fow have you measured (whatever you say is a problem)/' 'Fow will you measure the true effectiveness of your solution if you implement it/' '5hat can you say about different solutions that have worked in other situations/' 6nd don't be fobbed off. )tick to your guns. preparation. &ell me when you really need to know. "t's too important to make a snap decision now. &ry visualising yourself behaving in a firmer manner.uestions.' 6lso '" can't agree to that at such short and bullying. rather than cave in. -ractice in your mind saying 'Fold on a minute . consultation on their part.ed. -ractice with your most scary friend shouting right in your face for you to 'do as you . and "'ll get back to you. consideration. giving yourself 'thinking time' to prevent yourself being bulldo.

have faith that your own abilities will ultimately work if you use them 'on-assertive people have different styles and methods compared to dominant. dependability. and in between each time say calmly (and believe it because it's true) '$ou don't frighten me. feel sympathy rather than fear towards bullies >e-discover the belief that non-assertive behaviour is actually okay . seeing them as children can help you find greater strength and resistance. finishing things (that others have started). communicating.thereby resisting succumbing to fearful or intimidated feelings .are told'. and especially the modern &6 concepts. &hese capabilities all have the potential to undo a bully who has no proper 3ustification. monitoring. and as far as your situation permits. reliability. 1ind out what your strengths and style are and use them to defend and support your position. 6ggressors and bullies were commonly children who were not loved. checking. aggressive people and bullies. and how specific communications can be planned and used in response to .can help to move you psychologically into the ascendancy. or at least to a position where you can see weaknesses in the bully. detail. time after's the bullies who are the ones with the problems. &he biggest tantrum is no match for a well organised defence. 'onassertive people are often e tremely strong in areas of process. or children forced to live out the aspirations of their parents.' -ractice it until you can control your response to being shouted at. and working cooperatively with others. interpreting and understanding. "n many ways all bullies are still children. are helpful for some people in understanding how this sort of childhood emotional damage affects people.&ransactional 6nalysis theory. 1eeling sympathy for someone who threatens you .

Lnow yourself well enough that you feel comfortable disagreeing. %t makes you a better person because youBre putting yourself out there. &he point above about feeling sympathy for bullies should not be seen as approval or 3ustification for bullying. confident. $. '. Aowever.e cessive dominance. and many others besides. >ather. thus steering the conversation into more familiar territory. 'either is sympathy proposed here to be a sole or significant tactic in countering bullying. it cuts down on your vulnerability to the other person and transfers it to them. Be culturally aware and interesting. alternative feeling to being fearful or intimidated. Lnowing a little bit of most topics. as is often very necessary. %tBll make them feel more comfortable. this gives you a little time to catch up and formulate a change in topic. and grow up. 1.B.5 to roll off your tongue. but listen to them really process what they are saying. Dust donBt overdo it. )everal tactics are e plained above to tackle bullying head-on. temper tantrums. 5% totally disagree. and other threatening behaviours.ontrol. Lnowing about bands you donBt even listen to is a great social lubricant because 5not knowing5 shuts down avenues of conversation dead in their tracks. stronger. and these protections should be invoked whenever bullying becomes a problem. -eople responsible for bullying are the bullies. get some help. .. !he other person could be so attractive your eyes gla@e over. (lus. always remember that the mind is the largest erogenous @one.ost . saying youBve heard Doy Civision and really like 50heBs . Kothing is more boring and pointless than someone who always agrees.5 but think itBs a little monotonous shows the other person that youBve already given something they like a try and donBt like it? likewise. 6dditionally in most western world countries. #llow the words. )o if you are a bully# get some feedback. bullying.. !ruly knowing about the things that really interest you will genuinely make you a more interesting person. sympathy is advocated as a more constructive. !his doesnBt make you a Herk. there are now serious laws and processes to protect people from bullying. & augh at their 6o!es. not the victims. Become a more self-actuali5ed person. and rela"ed around you. o o 6usic seems to link many people together. #side from what you are wearing.

you wouldnBt want a smelly trash monster in your bed. - 7a!e eye contact. chances are you wouldnBt even want to meet those people anyways. .ook into the other personBs eyes whenever talking. ). o Pou may want to start by simple flirting..* seconds if they are attracted to them.asual touches are a great way to gauge the direction of things. . 'ni4ueness is crucial because it is what differentiates you in the sea of 5other fish5 this person has no doubt been told are out there. freshen up in the bathroom first. ) %evelop a style.learly. cut them some slack and Hoke with them about it to ease the tension. 1 :eep yourself clean and trimmed. %f you are self conscious about your weight. wear it out. then you have a good litmus for their attraction to you. hashing out that insecurity by forgoing a meal in front of the person you like is not the right thing to do. #lso. %t makes people uneasy when the person they are with is basically watching them eat. +asily e"plain this to the other person by telling them to 5wait5 gently. Dust donBt stare for too long. !he eyes have been called the window to the soul. . 0tudies have shown that a person generally will ga@e into another personBs eyes for about ). if you find yourself a little less than fresh in the wrong place at the right time. %f the other person seems comfortable with you touching their hand or brushing their arm. * 7irror the other person8s actions. *. as long as itBs your own. <enuinely appreciate the other person. . it also shows that you are noticing their actions. !his not only shows them that youBre flattered with them.&. . -. ConBt be discouraged if people think youBre goofy. o %f someone should Hoke about their hygiene. . #ny style will do. / Eat. %f you really like that goofy hat at the vintage clothing store and you think it looks good on you. /. so donBt be a stink factory. #dmire them. 9lirt physically.

6aybe the other person needs to get off the train at the ne"t stop and youBve been talking for the past 1* minutes on your way to work. call the person and ask them what they are doing a few days ahead of the 5date day5 and then tell them something came up and reschedule. akiss or maybe Hust a conversation. but if youBve had enough time to build a decent connection then itBs easier for the other person to give up those precious digits. there comes a moment where we wish we had been able to convert that fleeting moment with the mysterious stranger into dinner. but in the initial few weeks of dating itBs nice to know there is a regular schedule that the two of you can count on. ConBt say 5eh nothing5. +"ercise common sense? but at the same time. !alk about it. and whoever it is that you wish to attract. =bviously asking someone you barely know for their number is awkward for both of you. With a little self-confidence and knowledge of the basics. itBs the time when you need to pop the 4uestion. 11 )s! the person out again. or e"perience. Pou should gauge who needs to do this by your first meeting. Ko matter your age. etc. maybe you Hust bumped into someone at the bar and chatted for a few minutes? in that case give them your number and tell them youBd like to go out sometime. if it8s clear you should ta!e the initiative. %f you feel brave. Aere are a few basic pointers to help out. AereBs how to do it. Creating =he 'ight Environment 9or Communication . 1& 7a!e plans. donBt make a fuss about it. email addresses. %n that case. effective communication is a skill you can learn. Feel out what you have been talking about. background. youBll be able to get your point across. 11. =ften the hardest thing isnBt the 5waiting three days5 part. For most people. thereBs a lot that you can do to increase your chances out there. Aowever. 13. !his might sound totally cra@y. ask them if you can call sometime. =nly do this if you need to build tension. 13 Exchange phone numbers. 1$. this gets the other person stewing if they really wanted to see you in the first place. Wherever it is. +ven if itBs something e"traordinary. !he difference is always in the comfort level you and that person have established.1.ever say <nothing< if a guy as!s +hat your interests are. Ae obviously wants to know. 1$ .

donBt do it in public. #s the clichQ states. . %nstead.1. %f you need to tell someone something that isnBt going to be well received 7such as news of a death or a breakup9. leave heavy topics for mornings and afternoons when people are alert. and more likely to be able to respond with clarity. available. $ )n intimate conversation Choose the right place. o #void leaving discussions about heavy topics such as finances or weekly planning until late evening. $. around colleagues or near other people. 1 Choose the right time. Be respectful and mindful of the person receiving the communication and communicate to them in a private place. there is a time and a place for everything. and communicating is no different. !his will also enable you to provide space to open dialog with them about the communication. Few people will be thrilled to be faced with sorting out maHor issues when theyBre at their most tired. and helps to ensure that the two-way process is occurring properly.

& 'emove distractions. %f you are feeling passionate about a topic. 'se a microphone if needed to ensure that your audience can hear you. and effectively kill the communication. laugh it off the first time. -rgani5ing >our Communications 1. then turn it off immediately and continue talking.o %f you are presenting to a group of people. you may become garbled if you havenBt already thought of some key points to stick to when communicating it. 1 -rgani5e and clarify ideas in your mind. &. !urn off all electronics that could go off during the conversation. !hey will distract both you and your listener. . Co not allow e"ternal distractions to act as crutches that keep sidetracking your concentration. be sure to check the acoustics beforehand and practice proHecting your voice clearly. %f the phone rings. !his should be done before you attempt to communicate these ideas.


# good rule of thumb is to choose three main points and keep your communication focused on those. !hat way, if the topic wanders off course, you will be able to return to one or more of these three key points without feeling flustered. Writing these key points down 7if itBs appropriate9 can also help.



Be clear. 6ake it clear what youBre wishing to convey from the outset. For e"ample, your purpose could be to inform others, obtain information or initiate action. (eople need to know in advance what you e"pect from your communication.



.tay on topic. =nce you start addressing your three main points, make sure everything youBre saying adds to the conversation or debate. %f you have already thought through the issues and the essence of the ideas that you wish to put across, it is likely that some pertinent phrases will stick in your mind. Co not be afraid to use these to underline your points. +ven very confident and well-known speakers reuse their key lines again and again for maHor effect.



=han! your listener"s#. !hank the person or group for the time taken to listen and respond. Ko matter what the outcome of your communication, even if the response to your talk or discussion has been negative, it is good manners to end it politely and with respect for everyoneBs input and time.

Communicating =hrough .peech



.et the listener at ease. Pou want to do this before launching into your conversation or presentation. %t can help sometimes to begin with a favorite anecdote. !his helps the listener identify with you as someone like them.



Be articulate. %t is important to speak clearly so that the message comes across in a way that every listener can understand. Pour words are remembered because people instantly understand what it is that you are saying. %t means uttering your words distinctly, preferring simpler words over more comple" ones and speaking at a level guaranteed to be heard, but without coming across as too 4uiet or disengaged.



)void mumbling. !ake special care to enunciate highlighted points you need to make in order to avoid any kind of misunderstanding. %f mumbling is a defensive habit that you have fallen into out of fear of communicating, practice your message at home in front of the mirror. Ciscuss what you want to communicate with those you feel comfortable around first in order to better develop the message in your own mind. Both the practice and the development of your words for the messaging will build your confidence.



Be attentive +hen listening and ensure that your facial expressions reflect your interest. .isten actively. ;ommunication is a two-way street. 2emember that while you are talking, you are not learning. %n listening, you will be able to gauge how much of your message is getting through to your listeners and whether or not it is being received correctly. %t can be helpful to ask listeners to rephrase some of what you have said in their own words if they appear to be returning confused or mistaken views to you.



Be vocally interesting. # monotone is not pleasing to the ear. # good communicator will use 5vocal color5 to enhance communication. Korma 6ichael recommends raising the pitch and volume of your voice when you transition from one topic or point to another, and to increase your volume and slow down your voice whenever you are raising a special point or summing up.[1 0he also recommends speaking briskly, but pausing to emphasi@e keywords when you are re4uesting action.

#void negative facial e"pressions. gentle. so be guided by your situation. but theyBre nodding along with you and looking knowingly at you all the same. such as frowns or raised eyebrows. 1 'ecogni5e people. ask 4uestions about communication challenges before you start to speak with people in their cultural conte"t. you donBt necessarily know the people in your audience or that new friend in your group.Communicating =hrough Body anguage 1. 0ure. #im to reflect passion and generate empathy from the listener by using soft. $. . and aware facial e"pressions. such as a clenched fist. $ Clarity of meaning can be expressed through your body language. a slouched posture. too. What is or isnBt negative is dependent on the conte"t. 0o reward them with your acknowledgment. or even silence. [$ %f you donBt know the culture. !his means that they are connecting with you.Mright 'se facial e"pressions consciously. o Be alert for une"pected behavior that suggests youBre cross-culturally colliding. including cultural conte"t.

#sk or research in advance. or inappropriate. it is important to look into the other personBs eyes if possible and maintain contact for a reasonable amount of time 7but donBt overdo it? Hust as much as feels natural. +ye contact establishes rapport. pause and make eye contact with a member of audience for up to $ seconds before breaking away and resuming your talk. look every member of the board in the eye. ). about $-) seconds at a time9. %f youBre addressing a boardroom.&. Be aware that eye contact is culturally ordained.[& o o o 2emember to take in all of your audience. success. %n some cultures it is considered to be unsettling. Keglecting any single person can easily be taken as a sign of offense and could lose you business. ) . !his helps to make individual members of the audience feel personally valued. and displays interest. or whatever it is you are endeavoring to achieve. %f youBre addressing an audience. admission. helps to convince people that youBre trustworthy. & Communicate eye-to-eye. Curing a conversation or presentation.

%t will also keep you more rela"ed. %t helps you to emphasi@e your points and allow the listener time to digest what has been said. !hese small gestures add up and are all guaranteed to dampen the effectiveness of your message. youBll be able to get your point across. With a little self-confidence and knowledge of the basics. 'se pauses to take a breather in what you are saying. Be conscious of what your hands are saying as you speak. AereBs how to do it. . or e"perience. hands picking at fluff on your clothing and constant sniffling. 0ome hand gestures can be very effective in highlighting your points 7open gestures9. ?o+ to Communicate &ith Body anguage +dited by Flickety. regular breathing during a conversation that will help you to keep a steady. effective communication is a skill you can learn. Ko matter your age. :eep a chec! on other body language signals.had. Will. <et into the habit of solid.[) o o o !ake deep breaths to steady yourself before you begin communicating.Use breathing and pauses to your advantage. . %t also helps to watch other peopleBs hand gestures to see how they come across to you. background. * ?o+ does this gesture come acrossIMright 'se hand gestures carefully. <lutted and */ others && )rticle Edit%iscuss . !here is power in pausing. and can lead to the conversation or listening being closed down 7closed gestures9. . Watch for wandering eyes. calm voice. while others can be distracting or even offensive to some listeners. 0imon 2eynolds says that pausing causes an audience to lean in and listen. %t also helps to make your communication come across as more compelling and it makes your speech easier to listen to.. *.

while body language accounts for more than half of our message.%t is often said that in face-to-face and even body-to-body communications. While there are certain aspects of body language that can be improved upon to create a more effective message. $ . the words we speak actually account for less than 13E of the message that we convey. you still need to act like yourself and not be robotic. $. +ven if you were to succeed in controlling your body language 5by the book.5 you would look fake. AereBs how to start using body language to improve your day-to-day communications and improve your 4uality of life. 1 Be natural. Edit.teps Understanding >our -+n Body anguage 1.

& %etermine +hether your body language is in sync +ith your message. . youBll not only communicate more clearly. nervous. or does it make you seem unsure of yourself even though your words e"press confidenceI %f your non-verbal signals match your words. youBll also be perceived as being more charismatic. 6ake a conscious effort to think about what your body is doing in different interactions with different people. but mainly you Hust want to pay attention to what your body does when youBre angry. Coes your posture communicate confidence. # mirror can be useful to e"amine facial e"pressions and posture. &.@dentify your body language patterns. Pour body language is effective if it communicates the message you want it to communicate. or happy.

yet easily misinterpreted concepts. *estures 1. Aave more than one gesture. Pou donBt have to use a body language gesture 7or two9 for every word. 1 Emphasi5e a point. but itBs a good idea to have a toolbo" of gestures you can use to reinforce very important. %f the listener doesnBt pick up on one gesture. repeat both gestures when you speak the idea aloud. %f you want to make sure youBre not misunderstood. !his will help you better get your message across.o . Pou donBt have to have every little nuance 5correct5 as long as the overall effect of the cluster is in sync with your message.ook at the big picture. he or she will likely be familiar with the other. .

$ %irect the most positive gestures to+ard the listener.$. !his lets you more clearly indicate that you are offering a favorable outcome to the listener. Cirect the most negative gestures away from yourself and the listener. !his way you clearly indicate that you wish that no obstacle stands in the way of your intended message. .

&. Be conscious of what your hands are saying as you speak. %t also helps to watch other peopleBs hand gestures to see how they come across to you. while others can be distracting or even offensive to some listeners. and can lead to the conversation or listening being closed down 7closed gestures9. 0ome hand gestures can be very effective in highlighting your points 7open gestures9. . & Use hand gestures carefully.

). ) :eep a chec! on other body language signals. . hands picking at fluff on your clothing and constant sniffling. ConBt worry about if you accidentally perform a few of these in any given setting. !he point here is to be certain that your body language is not distracting for your listener and for you to pay attention to what your body is doing. Watch for wandering eyes. !hese small gestures add up and are all guaranteed to dampen the effectiveness of your message.

!his means that they are connecting with you. you donBt necessarily know the people in your audience or that new friend in your group. 0o reward them with your acknowledgment. 0ure.Being )+are -f >our )udience 1. . but theyBre nodding along with you and looking knowingly at you all the same. 1 'ecogni5e people.

e"cept when culture dictates. What is or isnBt negative is dependent on the conte"t. and aware facial e"pressions. #im to reflect passion and generate empathy with the listener by using soft. so be guided by your situation. including cultural conte"t. uses these signals to communicate the conte"t of the discussion. [By the way.$. gentle. such as frowns or raised eyebrows. . $ Use facial expressions consciously. #s much as possible. #0. avoid negative facial e"pressions.

%f youBre addressing an audience. %n some cultures it is considered to be unsettling or inappropriate. or even silence. and displays interest. look every member of the board in the eye. helps to convince that youBre trustworthy.o Be alert for une"pected behavior that suggests youBre cross-culturally colliding. such as a clenched fist. %f youBre addressing a boardroom. o o o 2emember to take in all of your audience. & Communicate eye to eye. &. !his helps to make individual members of the audience feel personally valued. admission. pause and make eye contact with a member of audience for up to $ seconds before breaking away and resuming your talk. Be aware that eye contact is culturally ordained. Keglecting any single person can easily be taken as a sign of offense and could lose you business. a slouched posture. +ye contact establishes rapport. success. . Curing a conversation or presentation. ask 4uestions about communication challenges before you start to speak with people in their cultural conte"t. about $-) seconds at a time9.[$ %f you donBt know the culture. or whatever it is you are endeavoring to achieve. #sk or research in advance. it is important to look into the other personBs eyes if possible and maintain contact for a reasonable amount of time 7but donBt overdo it? Hust as much as feels natural.

%f you have recently entered a new culture. . vary considerably and if you donBt speak the same body language as the locals. and what gestures are considered taboo9. approachable or at ease. how far away you should stand from someone. how much eye contact you should make. you may need to adHust your body language. !his can even sometimes be met with very serious implications. %mproving your posture and working to eliminate nervous tics can be difficult and will take time. $ @dentify cultural norms. youBre liable to be misunderstood a great deal. %f youBre constantly hunched over or touching your face. %mprove your posture. 1 =ouching one8s face signals anxiety. but youBll 4uickly improve your overall non-verbal communication. .*eneral =ips 9or Effective Communication 1. youBll never look confident. $.ultural norms regarding body language 7i.e.

0peak aloud as you normally would and carefully watch what your body is doing. & Concentrate on difficult situations. <et in front of a mirror and practice these interactions. . Pou could also videotape yourself for several minutes and then watch the video to identify how you might present yourself better.&. !hese situations 7first dates or Hob interviews. %tBs most important to make sure your body language is clear in interactions with people you donBt know very well. for e"ample9 may merit some special attention.

%tBs often easier to Hust say what you feel. for e"ample. !he problem. For most people. .ay +hat you mean. youBll probably have to alter your body language to prevent it from arousing suspicion. is that we donBt always say what we mean. of course. body language that effectively reinforces the speakerBs intent comes naturally when they mean what they say. %f youBre trying to lie convincingly.). ) .

• %f you know you are using a sign that may easily be misinterpreted. Edit=ips • 'se the most positive 7or. you may want to say. are youI5 !hat way the person wonBt think that youBre Hust being unreceptive. • Be honest and non-Hudgmental. While it is true that we make our most memorable impressions within the first * to 13 seconds. your body language will follow. =ther people will be able to read your body language to help uncover what youBre feeling. * -bserve your o+n expressions Use your body language to help you understand ho+ you feel. state so as 4uickly as possible and state your intended meaning. pay attention to what your body is saying. right away. we also make a crucial impression within the last * to 13 seconds as well.*. if you cross your arms for warmth. if warranted. For e"ample. %f youBre not 4uite sure how you feel about something or someone. but also learning more about yourself. so you should be able to read your body language better than anyone else can. 5%Bm cold. . 'sing body language effectively means not only communicating with others. negative9 gestures and facial e"pressions first and last. 0peech and gestures are co-e"pressive. %f you say what you mean.

• Co not assume that you have correctly identified the meaning of another personBs body language without verification. and then match your gestures to those of people around you. !his is not meant to confuse the listener. and not look like your forcing yourself to look like it. We all speak body language. • Kot everyone uses the same gestures to convey the same may be the only way to get your message across or avoid an embarrassing gaffe. 2emember to have fun.• • • • • • • Co not try to read too much into a strangerBs body language. %n Dapan your feet would typically be together. (erhaps they are simply coldR • . %f the person you are talking to is using unreceptive or closed body language. Edit&arnings 'nderstand that people are liable to misinterpret your body language. positive one. =nce in a while. they are usually referring to mannerisms that seem faked. For e"ample. %t is sometimes useful to observe the body language that is appropriate for a given setting or among certain people. • Faking a gesture or facial feature to convey a meaning is the same as lying and can be interpreted this way. #lways try to be clear and try to reinforce your meaning. use the opposite gesture of your intended meaning. people often interpret a personBs arms crossed across their chest as meaning that they are distancing or displaying a defensive character. =ne way to work on developing your own system is to study sign language and then occasionally use similar symbols when speaking. but rather to see how well they pay attention to your gestures. with the hands directly at the sides to convey this meaning. !his shows them what theyBre doing and they will follow you into a more rela"ed pose. a way to open it up is to mimic their negative posture briefly and then go back to a friendly. in the '0 feet spread apart typically conveys the message you are standing your ground. %f youBre not familiar with the culture or the people with whom you are speaking. • # personBs usage of body language can and usually changes over time. When people say that someone seems phony. For e"ample. %t makes them uncomfortable and may give the semblance of you Hudging them.

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