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Change Your Thoughts Guide

How to Make True Friends

A

Change Your Thoughts Guide

How to Make

True Friends
Ebook design by CharfishDesign Copyright © Steven Aitchison 2010. All rights reserved.

How to Make True Friends

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......................................................................The Art of Honesty.....................18 The self-deprecator .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................A Change Your Thoughts Guide TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction.......................................9 Chapter Two .................13 Chapter Four .........................................................................8 Other Articles You Might Be Interested In ..............................................................................................................................................Know Yourself ......................................................................................................................................................................19 How to Make True Friends ...................................................................14 Chapter Five -Get Out of Self-Deprecation Mode ...............................................................................................................................................12 Why Being Honest is Important ...........19 Stopping the cycle and gaining confidence.....................................................................7 Values and Principles ...................................................................................................7 Know Yourself ....6 Chapter One ...................................................................................................................................................................................18 The cycle of self-doubt ...........................................The Pride of Loneliness .................................................12 From now on…........................................11 Chapter Three ......................................................................................10 Being Genuine ...............................................11 Other Articles You Might Enjoy .........................................................18 Dealing with the self deprecator.........................................................................................................10 Playing Games ..............................................................8 Looking at your Friends ....................

...............................Attracting the Friends You Want ......................................................................................................Be Yourself .......................22 Chapter Seven .....................................A Change Your Thoughts Guide A powerful way to change your beliefs...........................................................................................................................................................21 How does it work? .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................23 What does be yourself mean?..................20 Chapter Six ..20 Other articles you might enjoy .......................................................................................................................21 Does this sound like a lot of rubbish?..........................21 Belief ..........................................................................................................23 How to be yourself....22 Other articles you may enjoy..........................................................23 How to Make True Friends ...

it needn’t be hard. If we don’t learn it when we are young it is difficult to learn when we are older.A Change Your Thoughts Guide INTRODUCTION M as well. this guide will cover this very important aspect 6 Although we might not want to admit it sometimes we all like to have a few good friends and the best person to befriend right now is yourself. If you are not a good friend to yourself you can’t be a good friend to others. AKING FRIENDS AFFECTS all of us all of the time. I hope you enjoy this eBook. In this CYT guide to making friends I will show you lots of different ways you can get to know yourself and how to let your personality shine to others. You might be comfortable making friends with other people but you are not a good friend to yourself. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me. However. How to Make True Friends .

How on earth do you begin to know yourself? Write yourself down on a piece of paper. and for some the thought of speaking to others is terrifying.KNOW YOURSELF Change Your Thoughts Guide CHAPTER ONE KNOW YOURSELF Know Yourself You can’t make friends with people until you know what type of people you want to like. you might be thinking about saying the right thing too much rather than being yourself and engaging in authentic conversation. When you know this you begin to see how you will live your life and then it will become clear what type of friends you want in your life. I was self conscious around very intelligent people. How to Make True Friends . You might worry about what people think of you. just be yourself’ that’s no good when you don’t really know who you are as you’re trying to impress too many different kinds of people. seriously. Many people suffer from self consciousness and the need to impress. On a sheet of paper get to know yourself by asking yourself questions. This can be debilitating in your life and if you’re the self conscious type it makes it even worse. It’s easy for people to say: ‘relax. To know what type of person you want to like you have to know yourself first. but I got over it once I realised I was intelligent enough to speak to intelligent people. how intelligent is that!! 7 By asking yourself lots of questions. and it shows. you will begin to understand what makes you tick.A CHAPTER ONE . for example: ! What type of films do you like? ! What type of books do you like to read? ! What sports do you like? ! What are your hobbies? ! Who do you like to spend time with? ! What are your best personality traits? ! What are your worst personality traits? ! What are your goals? ! What are your values? ! What are your principles M aking friends is not easy for a lot of people.

For example. You have to know your own values and principles before you befriend other people. Aligning yourself to the right people. as you will be more secure and confident within yourself and know what you really want in life. I decided to split from How to Make True Friends . When I realised I wasn’t aligned to their values and principles and they were not aligned to mine. or whatever is your want. So. I remember having some friends in my teens. may sound ridiculous but you may be surprised how much you will find out about yourself. 8 Looking at your Friends Once you have found out what your true values and principles are. sit down with a good cup of tea. Values and Principles If you don’t really know yourself you will befriend some people and maybe later on you will wonder why you ever befriended that person. and by that I mean the right people for you. However you will eventually do this. it will be natural to want to be around positive people. Once you are secure you can then start to move a little outside your comfort zone and stretch yourself. It was one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make but it changed the course of my life.A Change Your Thoughts Guide them. If you have been around negative people a lot. you will become comfortable with yourself and you will start to feel confident and secure in your environment. and make a date with yourself. it might be out of your comfort zone to try and befriend positive people. it’s because they are not aligned to your true values and principles. if one of your values is to be a positive person. Getting to know you. it’s time to look at your friends and find out if you really want to stay friends.

AllNaturalWahm What makes you fabulous .A Change Your Thoughts Guide Other Articles You Might Be Interested In Know yourself .Spiritual Awakening Benefits of Journaling .Powerful Living 9 How to Make True Friends .Success Television Know yourself tests .amusedbee Isis on ego and choices .Rainbow dreams Do you know yourself .

You go to call them to meet up: You: ‘He might think I like him too much so I will hold off calling them.’ We play games at work.A CHAPTER TWO . How to Make True Friends . If we want to speak to someone we send a ‘quick email’ or give them a ‘quick call’. I’ll wait another couple of days and call her. have you ever come across this scenario: You have met someone you like and it’s clear they like you.’ T HE WORLD HAS never been so connected but we have never been so alone. we have to start connecting with them on a genuine way. If we want to make true friends with people. All of this adds up to us feeling even more alone and isolated from each other. When was the last time you had a conversation with your neighbours? When did you last strike up a conversation with someone in a lift (an elevator)? Our world has become so exciting and manic that we are forgetting to connect with each other. if we want to meet someone new we check out a dating website. When you are dating someone new have you ever held off calling that person for fear of them knowing you like him or her. if we want to see our friends holiday snaps we check out their Bebo site. in our love life. 10 Them: ‘I wish she would call.THE PRIDE OF LONELINESS Change Your Thoughts Guide CHAPTER TWO THE PRIDE OF LONELINESS Playing Games A lot of us have become so psychologically and politically aware that we are all playing games with each other. I don’t want to call in case she thinks I am desperate. in our business life and even in our family life. I’ll wait another few days.

I have made some great contacts through blogging and I am one of the most anti-social people you could meet. stop and speak to your neighbours for 5 minutes.The Daily Mind We all need people to help us in life. Why not smile at that person in the lift and strike up a conversation. The next article in this series will be ‘The art of honesty’ and I look forward to seeing you here.William Strickland 6 Ways to make true friends in your workplace. It’s time to become a socialhuman again instead of a techno-human. Being Genuine If it’s one thing I have learned in life that has helped me more than anything and that’s being honest and genuine. however I choose my relationships wisely and don’t collect friends for the sake of it. We are social creatures and we all need somebody. If somebody asks me a question that they may not like the answer to I always ask ‘Do you want me to tell the truth here or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?’ I have mixed reactions to that question. and we need conversation. If it wasn’t for you reading this article right now I wouldn’t have a blog. we need love. but it has gained me a great reputation of being trustworthy and honest. I have gained a reputation of being a very honest and open person. I wouldn’t have written one single word if it wasn’t for you. we need praise.Diethack The Fondness of being lonely . Even online we need people to help us reach our goals. I recognise the importance of creating lasting friendships for myself and for others.Life is elsewhere The Seven wrong reasons people fall in love .A Change Your Thoughts Guide wouldn’t have 2000 subscribers to this blog. It’s time to stop playing games and being honest with yourself and being honest with others. this will start you on the road to connecting with others again. have a genuine conversation with no agenda with your work colleagues. 11 Other Articles You Might Enjoy Serious health risks of lonlieness . I How to Make True Friends . Being honest can be hard for some people however the effort of being honest will stand you in good stead for making friends easily. By genuine I mean not having an agenda when speaking to someone.

I’m just ******* fat. What did I learn from that? – Never ask a fat woman if she is pregnant! Yep. I was dancing with a girl in a nightclub. If you are honest from the outset you will gain a reputation for being an honest person. ! Are you a lazy git – if so. I then asked when her baby was due. I was talking away to her. CHAPTER THREE THE ART OF HONESTY I T’S EASY TO say be honest and open with everyone but there is an art to being honest. She glared at me and said ‘I’m not pregnant. This is a big distinction to make. That wasn’t about honesty it was about diplomacy and tact and it ties in nicely with the art of honesty.A CHAPTER THREE . obviously the music was too loud. but I learned to keep my mouth shut until I was sure of the facts else a swift kick between the legs could be on its way. ! Are you fat – Admit it. Now that was embarrassing. Some people lie to themselves and can’t get to the truth. just general chitchat. therefore you will gain the reputation for being trustworthy. and do something about it if you’re not happy with it ! Are you gorgeous – Admit it and make the most of it How to Make True Friends . (that was back in the day when you just went up to a girl and tapped her on the shoulder and she was obliged to dance with you). admit it and do something about it. I remember when I was about 19. as they are lost in their own self-lies.THE ART OF HONESTY Change Your Thoughts Guide Honesty is telling the truth to people and telling the truth to yourself. Why Being Honest is Important To gain respect from others and to have respect for yourself it is important to be honest and true to yourself and others. 12 Practising honesty with yourself To practise honesty you have to start being honest with yourself. Being honest can open so many doors for you.’ and she then stormed off. I then asked her ‘When is the baby due?’ looking toward her stomach. therefore gaining the reputation of being dependable. as she was obviously pregnant. She looked at me and asked me to repeat what I had said.

There are two rules I would use when being honest: ! When you are being honest with other people. Q. be blunt and take action. Once you’ve overcome the first honesty hurdle the rest become easier. My wife always asks me my opinion on something she is wearing. ! When being honest with yourself. Practising honesty with others Once you are comfortable telling yourself the truth it is time to tell others in a way that is neither offensive or hurtful. however I want more time with my family and I am already working on _______. Q. How to Make True Friends . Can you to take on another project? A. be tactful not hurtful. or something she wants my opinion on. Do I look fat in this? A. as she knows I will be completely honest without being hurtful and she respects that. now unless they have a very low IQ they will know what you mean here but without hurting and embarrassing them. If you shy away from telling the truth or standing up for yourself practise little by little.A Change Your Thoughts Guide This is being assertive which goes hand in hand with honesty once you have practised honesty for a while. 13 From now on… If you want more respect for yourself and you want others to respect you it is important for honesty in your life. It’s not the kind of thing I would wear. I would love to work on that. ! Are you good at something – admit it and keep learning to become better ! Do you really want that job – Look for another one and chuck the one you don’t like ! Do you really want to be with your partner There are many questions to ask yourself and ask you must to ever have self-respect. I am sure you can think of hundreds of scenarios where you have to tell the truth but feel a little uncomfortable doing it.

A CHAPTER FOUR Change Your Thoughts Guide ! Adornment ! Locomotion Walking. It’s basically telling the other person that you are quite submissive. E’VE ALL READ about body language and seen TV programs about it. limping Although body language skills can be learned to a degree it is extremely difficult to teach due to the nature of humans and the different shapes and sizes we come. Some body language signals used are: Shoulder shrug: The simple act of a shoulder shrug can tell someone a lot about you if you use this gesture a lot. CHAPTER FOUR BODY LANGUAGE W language. running. staggering. both the receiving of body language and the giving out of body Learning about body language can help when making friends and when wanting to help your overall interaction with others personally or in business or in the workplace. you’re telling them you don’t know something and sometimes you’re saying you don’t really care. You might not realise that body language has wide range of components. However if we know the components of body language and have a rough idea of the structure we can become better body language communicators. Obviously to look at each component and write about it would be a book in itself so I will give an example of each component and direct you to a useful website. It’s one of the most important parts to communication we can master and there is an art to body language. Here are the main categories: ! Kinesics (body language) ! Proxemics (proximity) ! Haptics ! Oculesics ! Chronemics ! Olfactics ! Vocalics 14 How to Make True Friends . It’s also a sign of resignation and possibly that you’ve given up on something. Kinesics: This is how we use our body to let others know how we are feeling.

Be careful to read the signs correctly about personal space as it can be uncomfortable and embarrassing for you and the person you are with. For Haptics: The use of touch to convey feelings. Think about a time when you are chatting to someone and they example. if you are arguing it is seen as strong if you can hold your gaze. On the other hand if you are not attracted to someone your personal space becomes bigger and the person that enters that space will be given clues by you to back off or you will back off. if you are loving someone. if not read correctly. You can read more about Proxemics here. How to Make True Friends . Couples use haptics all the time to convey love for each other and of course to show love for each other.A You can read more about Kinesics here. Change Your Thoughts Guide touch your arm when they are telling you a story. When you are attracted to someone you will notice that you will stand closer to them and don’t mind them coming into your personal space. this happens quite a lot in human interaction. but only with people who trust you or whom you trust. it is good to stare into the pool of the eyes. There are four different types of space: social space. Oculesics: This is the use of eye contact to convey your feelings. Proxemics: This is the use of space to signal privacy or attraction to someone. This also happens when two people are attracted to each other and it is a way of touching the other person in a non-sexual way but still give the sign that you are interested in them. 15 Certain situations demand different uses of the eyes. intimate space and public space. We will use eye contact every day of our lives so it makes sense to learn the best ways to use your eyes to your advantage. If you are deferring to someone it is better to lower your eyes. Have you ever had someone who touches you on the shoulder or the arm when they are talking to you? This is the use of Haptics to convey a sign or trust or attraction. personal space. You can read more about Haptics here.

Humans also use this knowledge of smell to attract a potential mate. adheres 16 Vocalics: Tone of voice. emphasizes promptness. You can read more about Oculesics here. I remember being obsessed with time when I was meeting someone for a date. have a strong tendency to build lifetime relationships. Olfactics: The use of smell to help us in our lives. and is accustomed to short-term relationships. Chronemics: Use of time. change plans often and easily. Read more about Chronemics here. timbre. but it said a lot about me and it says a lot about the other person as well. speed. There are a lot of Chronemic indicators in body language and it is one I find the most interesting. I used to wait for 15 minutes tops and would then leave. volume. Another important aspect of human interaction especially for sales people. highly distracted and are subject to interruptions. pausing.A Change Your Thoughts Guide religiously to plans. This is of course a bit silly. How to Make True Friends . This is why the perfume industry is still booming and also why ads portray deodorants in a sexual way. Ploychronemic person: do many things at once. public speakers and politicians etc. or you don’t think people will listen long enough to let you speak slower. Your speed of speech is also a non-verbal indicator that you are in a hurry. There are two types of people when it comes to chronemics. waiting. see if you can recognise yourself: Monochronemic person: someone who does one job at a time. concentrates on the job at hand. My mantra was ‘If they are not on time for a date they are not that interested’. Eye contact is one of the most important areas in nonverbal communication. We all know that smell is important when it comes to warning us of dangers. which is a warning to us not to eat it. Your voice gives a lot of clues about how you are feeling at any particular time. for example rotten food smells.

Read more about Locomation here. Speaking too loudly is a sign of brashness and pomposity. skaters etc. pretty soon you’ll be feeling more confident and happier. punks. most people dress to impress when meeting someone for the first time or for going for an interview. The way you walk tells a person a lot about you. this is part of the non verbal communication side of adornment. try walking as if you are confident and very happy. limping. Your hairstyle is another part of adornment and the way you wear your hair says a lot about you. I always walk in a confident way even if I am feeling low. As you can see I have only touched the tip of the iceberg when it comes to body language. When you are feeling weary. Locomotion: Walking. Think about the phrase ‘First impressions last”. head held high.A Change Your Thoughts Guide Shoulders hunched head down. It is a fascinating subject and one I would recommend learning about. Your voice holds a lot of clue to the type of person you are. staggering. Most of us instinctively can read the signs of body language but we can always learn more and gain advantage when it comes to making friendships in all areas of our lives. speaking too softly is a sign of being too timid and lacking confidence. walking slowly. walk quickly. What you wear is another indication of your personality. chest out. Adornment: What you wear and how you wear it. How do you walk when you are felling depressed or low? 17 How to Make True Friends . Now think about how you walk when you are feeling bright and confident. it helps me to get into a better mood and feel more confident. Read more about Vocalics here. teddy boys. think about the mods and the rockers. If you speak to quickly it could be sign that you think that what you are saying is not worthy of being heard. One classic example is wearing something to distinguish you from another group. running. or Goths.

The times when we have lost our confidence in ourselves and used language that conveyed to others we were incapable of doing things. this quickly becomes tiresome and the person who is helping all the time will start to avoid the person putting themselves down. friends and CHAPTER FIVE GET OUT OF SELFDEPRECATION MODE T HE QUICKEST WAY to lose potential friends is to put yourself down all the time. Therefore. Self-deprecation can also be an indicator of some form of mental illness. no matter what’s going on in their lives. severe depression. we as colleagues. in the past and in the present. People who do this. Dealing with the self deprecator There are ways to deal with people who put themselves down all the time. Many women who suffer from domestic abuse are prone to selfdeprecation. Now this is okay as we quickly recognised it or our friends. They draw people in and make people feel sorry for them. are very tiresome and drain everyone’s energy. family have a duty to try to understand what is going on in someone’s life and help them through difficult times. 18 The self-deprecator We’ve all been the victim of self-deprecation before.A CHAPTER FIVE -GET OUT OF SELF-DEPRECATION MODE Change Your Thoughts Guide For some people they have developed the art of selfdeprecation and function very well. thereby offering help when someone is putting themselves down. It can also be an indicator of some kind of trauma in someone’s life such as abuse. Here are just a few things you can do: ! Point out to the person when they are using self deprecating language How to Make True Friends . family and colleagues would ask us why we were putting ourselves down and hopefully we would get out of self-deprecation mode and regain our confidence. and stress.

If you don’t do things you will sink further into the ‘can’t do’ attitude and try even less activities. This is a vicious circle and is hard to break if not recognised. you won’t be able to do it. guess what. how do they react in certain situations.A Change Your Thoughts Guide ! Ask if there is anything they want to talk about ! Point out their strengths ! Stop them from apologising all the time ! Never put them down in front of people Stopping the cycle and gaining confidence If you are someone who puts yourself down all the time there are a few things you can do to try and stop the cycle and regain your self confidence ! Focus on your strengths and do more things around them ! Work on smaller goals which are achievable ! Do not compare yourself to someone else ! Think about your successes in life (everyone has success stories) ! Learn from someone you admire (Don’t compare. just learn i. how do they talk) ! Learn to talk positively to yourself ! Recognise tracks by the demons of self and consciousness and stop them in their talking positively remembering your successes The cycle of self-doubt If you constantly say to yourself you can’t do something. 19 How to Make True Friends . how do they walk.e. The less you try to do the lower your self esteem will become.

Stop the self deprecating talk and start to learn more about yourself and build on your successes.Zen habits A powerful way to change your beliefs The way you speak to yourself internally will literally change your beliefs about yourself. even with small jobs ! Build your confidence slowly and learn from each success Other articles you might enjoy Building self confidence .com Seven powerful steps for self confidence .about.Pick the Brain 25 killer actions to boost your self confidence . Don’t underestimate the power of self talk.A Change Your Thoughts Guide ! Congratulate yourself often. 20 How to Make True Friends .Simply Smart Tips Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes . If you constantly tell yourself you’re no good at something you are literally hypnotising yourself into believing that. Low self esteem and low self confidence can be debilitating but you can break the habit by changing the way you think and changing the way you speak.Out-side the box How to stay confident in your decision to be a WAHM Vineyar designs 10 ways to instantly build self confidence .

going through difficult times with them. This usually means getting How to Make True Friends . Imagine yourselves together in years to come and how your friendship will evolve. T O ATTRACT THE type of friends you want you will have to know what type of friends you want to attract.A CHAPTER SIX . CHAPTER SIX ATTRACTING THE FRIENDS YOU WANT How does it work? This is quite simple. strong minded. Using the principles of manifestation you can attract to you the type of friends you want in your life. how she would react in certain situations etc I have also attracted business relationships this way. but I am a bit weird that way.ATTRACTING THE FRIENDS YOU WANT Change Your Thoughts Guide would you be here if I didn’t think about you reading this blog. I know this works as I have used it myself and have married my best friend. friendships. Belief that it will happen when the time is right. online acquaintances and even readers to my blog. my wife. honest. You imagine feeling a strong bond with them and having a lasting friendship. fun. I used to imagine what she looked like. meeting up with your future partners. makes sense doesn’t it. I know it sounds sad thinking about the type of readers you want to read your blog. ‘What’s really going to bake your noodle’ is 21 Belief There is one huge condition to you attracting your friends and potential partners and that is belief. your friends will come to you when the time is right. what type of personality she had. attractive or whatever it is you are looking for in a true friend. You don’t go looking for friendships. You imagine going to their parties. Although it sounds like another airy-fairy law of attraction type of thing. You think about the different attributes that you would like in a friend. You imagine them and the different situations you would be in together and how they would react if different situations.

the Ordinary Mystic Can you save your relationships with the law of attraction .Evolving Times Improving relationships . Have you ever come across someone who just radiates energy and they seem to attract everyone around them? This will be because they have let go of their inhibitions and their negative emotions. However. 22 Other articles you may enjoy Can attraction principles work to build your business? Street smarts Law of attraction carnival: Relationships and the law of attraction . I would urge you to try it for a week or two and really try to believe in it before dismissing it. Don’t get me wrong you still get the people who attract everyone else around them due to their self confidence and yes they may be nasty or unkind but this type of person usually breaks down later on in their lives due to the masking of their negative feelings and emotions. Why is this? When you body and mind is riddled with negative emotions you are concentrating on yourself and your energy field will be low and not very expansive. all these feelings will hamper you in meeting your true friends or potential partner. that’s great I respect your opinion. but it has changed my life in immeasurable ways and I can only pass on what I believe. feeling jealousy. If you don’t believe it can work it won’t work.Today is that day How to attract and create a happier love relationship Very happy human How to Make True Friends . because for most of us we simply can’t believe in a world that is interconnected and we are all at this very moment touching each other’s energy. it took years to start believing in the power of thoughts and manifestation. hate. These people are usually happy go lucky people and don’t really care what other people think about them and can take people as they are and see they positives in everyone. If you believe it’s a pile of cow dung. Does this sound like a lot of rubbish? Of course it does. When you have let go of negative emotions your energy field will be much more expansive and far-reaching. like me. For some. touching the lives of those you want to meet. depressed.A Change Your Thoughts Guide rid of all your negative emotions such as feeling lonely.

That comes with all the realisations in life and that it really doesn’t matter what others do. That’s what being yourself means. and you will save so much time in your life by not worrying about what others are thinking about you. We have all met these types of people before and they are instantly recognisable. but most people do not become confident within themselves until later on in life. CHAPTER SEVEN BE YOURSELF CHAPTER SEVEN .A Change Your Thoughts Guide know that what others think about you does not matter. It’s a shame.BE YOURSELF I F YOU’VE READ all this book so far you will have a strategy for getting to know yourself and getting to know others. How to Make True Friends . not loud. just confident within themselves. Know the person you want to be – List all the qualities that you really admire in people and develop those skills within yourself. say or think. They have a quiet confidence about them. not afraid to speak up and not afraid to voice their opinion when needed. roll it into a little ball and then I want you to be yourself. You’ll 23 How to be yourself Unfortunately you can’t learn to be yourself by reading this article but I can give you hints on developing yourself enough to really be yourself. you ask yourself ‘what does that mean?’ Being yourself means you are comfortable with who you are and you are confident enough to realise that not everyone will have the same opinion of you. You’re going for an interview and someone gives the sage advice ‘you’ll be great. You will not be at the stage of trying to impress everyone all of the time and you’ll know this is impossible anyway. 1. just be yourself’ . they are not brash. What does be yourself mean? How many times have you heard someone say ‘Just be yourself’. Now I want you to take all that knowledge. after you’ve picked them up off the floor and apologised for smacking them in the mouth. not ‘in your face’ confident.

buy the clothes you like. go to a restaurant. really honest and you will learn a lot about yourself. Never gossip – If you’re a gossip. Be honest with others and you will learn even more about yourself and others. Like yourself – It might sound a strange thing to say but I love my own company. go to the cinema. This is a powerful exercise and it’s hard to describe here but I would urge you to try it. Watch how others are interacting with each other. and not others who are controlling you. I don’t mean sit and watch TV for 2 days. If you are not comfortable with your own company how do you expect others to be comfortable with you? If you can. You might feel uncomfortable at first but you will soon develop a silent confidence that it is you who is in control of you. How to Make True Friends . yet it is not used enough. I could spend days just being by myself and not be bored. If you are on the phone all day this will be difficult but try not to speak to your colleagues. 4. and hold your head high.A Change Your Thoughts Guide wear them. Dress the way you want to dress – ‘It’s not the clothes that wear the person it’s the person that wears the clothes’ If you like a particular style of clothing but have never had the courage to wear it. 24 7. Think about a set of principles and values you would like to live by and start living them. spend a few days alone and you will really learn a lot about yourself. next time you are out. no matter how much people listen to you when you have juicy gossip. I have developed this over time. 3. watch how they react to you being quiet. stop it right now. read a book. I mean go out shopping. Be quiet for one whole day – For one whole day try and not to breathe a word to anybody. Be honest – I mentioned this in part 3 of this series. Honesty is a powerful tool. e.g. This all helps to assert your individuality. 5. 6. Be honest with yourself. You are giving your power and energy away by gossiping about other people. 2. Create a set of principles and values – This is another powerful tool to learn.

a lot of people don’t know what principles and values they live by. If you have read all of this eBook you will notice a common thread throughout and that is know yourself and be comfortable with who you are. look at the core values and develop your life around these.A ! Never gossip ! Always be honest but tactful ! Family comes first ! Always be on time ! Be trustworthy ! Be faithful ! Hard working Change Your Thoughts Guide These are obviously just a few and I am sure you have your own principles and values. So it is good to look at the type of life you wish to lead. Until you really get to know yourself and know how you want to live your life. making friends might be difficult or you may make bad choices. However. 25 How to Make True Friends .

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