P. 1
Abusive Relationships Dont Just Happen

Abusive Relationships Dont Just Happen

Views: 267|Likes:
Published by S. James Webb
Maybe you so often feel blindsided when it comes to abusive relationships. You do everything you can to find someone who is kind and considerate, only to end up with someone with monstrous behavior.

There IS hope, however...
Maybe you so often feel blindsided when it comes to abusive relationships. You do everything you can to find someone who is kind and considerate, only to end up with someone with monstrous behavior.

There IS hope, however...

More info:

Published by: S. James Webb on Aug 07, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

Availability:

Read on Scribd mobile: iPhone, iPad and Android.
download as TXT, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
See more
See less

08/10/2015

pdf

text

original

�But he wasn�t like that when we were dating� Maybe you so often feel blindsided when it comes to abusive

relationships. You do everything you can to find someone who is kind and considerate, only to end up with someone with monstrous behavior. The abuse can be emotional or physical or both, but if you manage to get out of an abusive relationship, you end up with a whole new string of them. Out of nowhere. �I just don�t have any luck with men.� Or worse, �I must deserve it.� And you make all kinds of other excuses for his behavior. Does this sound like you? Your family and friends are mystified when you walk away from good decent men and end up with another loser, but the fact is those so-called good and decent guys just aren�t attractive to you. They aren�t sexy enough, or manly enough, or there�s just something about them that just doesn�t turn you on even if you really like them. I�m not saying abuse turns you on. Quite the contrary. You hate it. So why do these princes that seemed so promising at first keep turning into toxic frogs in your arms? Here�s the good news: you didn�t cause them to behave that way, no matter what they may tell you. But you did find each other like a couple of homing pigeons, because your vibrations matched. He recognized your victim vibration, and you recognized his abusive vibration. Not consciously, of course, but here�s what may have happened with you: Your father, or a significant (usually) male figure in your early life was abusive in his relationship with your mother. Maybe he didn�t hit her. He may not even have yelled at her. But their relationship was some version of �woman, you are here to serve me, you have no right to a life or dreams of your own, and if I do something nice for you it�ll be when I feel like it, or when I feel guilty for treating you like I do.� It can be very subtle, but the effects are devastating. It dehumanizes the woman, no matter how much they both try to hide it. Sound familiar? We learn how to be in the world from our parents, our first teachers. And we�re pretty much wired within the first three to five years. So Mom become the model for how to be a woman. And Dad becomes the model for what a man is supposed to be. So if Mom was disrespected, if her dreams and desires didn�t have the same weight as Dad�s then that�s what it means to be a woman � a woman is someone whose dreams and desires don�t count. Then you�ll find a man who believes the same thing so that you can be a woman: someone who also believes that that�s what a real man does and if he doesn�t fit the pattern, somehow he just doesn�t turn you on.

And you will almost never recognize the pattern. Why? Because your subconscious isn�t going to let you recognize it and run. Your subconscious has been working hard to bring these guys to you, so it sure isn�t going to let you escape them. How do you escape, then? Part of the answer is education. Start recognizing the patterns and the dynamics. These guys all operate out of the same play book. They can�t help it � it�s just the way they were wired. But you don�t have to put up with it or enable it. The other part of the answer is changing the way you were wired, that early programming that you absorbed unconsciously as a little tot. Thanks to the latest discoveries in energy psychology, Meridian Based Therapies such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) finally offer real hope now with a very high success rate freeing women from these self-destructive patterns. These techniques are easy to learn, and the manuals are available for free downloads. As with many deeply buried issues, you may find it helpful to contact a professional skilled in these techniques, since it is often easier for someone else to see our issues more clearly than we can for ourselves. Whether you seek professional help or apply these techniques on your own, know that you can finally, once and for all, break the cycle and stop the abusive relationships from �just happening� ever again.

You're Reading a Free Preview

Download
scribd
/*********** DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE ! ************/ var s_code=s.t();if(s_code)document.write(s_code)//-->