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Alamo Drafthouse Ritz Calendar / December 2013

Alamo Drafthouse Ritz Calendar / December 2013

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A guide to programming at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz.
A guide to programming at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz.

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Published by: Alamo Drafthouse Cinema on Nov 23, 2013
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“LAUREL & HARDY’S FESTIVAL OF LAFFS!

LAUREL & HARDY’S FESTIVAL OF LAFFS
(16mm) By sworn survey, 253 solid laffs are guaranteed! Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy are unsung heroes of early motion picture comedy. Overshadowed by Charlie Chaplin’s pathos and Buster Keaton’s acrobatics, Laurel & Hardy kept things simple. Their films weren’t trying to solve the world’s problems -- it was all about the laffs. Stan and Ollie were dedicated to friendship, laughter, and perseverance. No matter what challenge was thrown at them in their movies, the boys bounced back. They stuck together. And then they destroyed a house with their bare hands. In the words of biographer John McCabe, their characters were “two supremely brainless men, totally innocent of heart, and outrageously optimistic -- there is no one as dumb as a dumb guy who thinks he’s smart.” From Hardy’s trademark “slow burn” stare to Laurel’s misreading of every situation, the team’s early Hal Roach two-reelers rank as some of the most hilarious comedies to ever come out of Hollywood. Join us as we screen four of Laurel & Hardy’s finest two-reelers, projected in glorious 16mm!

GHOST STORIES FOR CHRISTMAS
WHISTLE AND I’LL COME TO YOU (1968) & A WARNING TO THE CURIOUS (1972) Originally broadcast in the dying hours of Christmas Eve, the BBC’s A GHOST STORY FOR CHRISTMAS series was a fixture of the seasonal schedules throughout the ‘60s and ‘70s. Tucked away from the more joyous yuletide celebrations late at night, the hour long films gave viewers an extra winter chill, continuing a long tradition of spooky stories that undercut the seasonal cheer. The films are classic slow-burners. There’s no rush to get to the scares, nor any false jump-shocks to punctuate proceedings; just a buildup of dread, taking time to concoct a thick atmosphere of unease, with strange, intriguing characters, things glimpsed out of the corner of the eye, and then great payoffs that are impossible to completely shake off.

AGFA PRESENTS: SECRET FANTASY KUNG FU DOUBLE FEATURE
(35mm) From out of the vaults of the American Genre Film Archive come two 35mm prints of the wildest, most colorful, over the top spectacles of Kung Fu wizardry ever created. These universe-ending epics deliver a non-stop extravaganza of 1980s effects and wire-fu madness. Wrap your brain in a diaper, tear off your eyelids and get ready for an impossible mix of ancient Eastern mysticism, lazerblasting blockbuster, flying puppet dragon-lions, baby-killing villains, exploding henchman and the ultimate in fairy-powered superheroics all set to an analog synth score. Featuring the greatest wizard battle in the history of the world lasting one full 35mm reel! Considered too powerful for American minds, neither was ever released on video in the U.S.!

VIDEO HATE SQUAD: TALES FROM THE THIRD DIMENSION
(1984, VHS) An unbelievable horror anthology from the wilds of North Carolina. The stories are hosted by Igor, a robotic Rod Serling with no skin, surrounded by animatronic vultures modeled after Laurel & Hardy and The Three Stooges. True joy has never been more fully captured on camera. Unfortunately the first two stories are only adequate, but the walls tumble to the ground in the final stretch with a tale of a homicidal granny desperate to wipe out her grandkids on Christmas Eve. Watch in horror and amazement as a lovable old woman employs, cutlery, electricity, poison and shotgun blasts in an all-out war against two 8-year-olds. All this, plus a twist ending that will shatter your kneecaps.

“SECRET FANTASY KUNG FU DOUBLE FEATURE”

THE ACTION PACK

INTERACTIVE SCREENINGS AND CINEMATIC EVENTS

TERROR TUESDAY — $3

GROUND ZERO FOR HORROR TREASURES IN 35MM

OTHER STUFF!
Bangarang!: BATMAN RETURNS (1992, 35mm) Oozing with Tim Burton’s trademark dark, brooding atmosphere, BATMAN RETURNS is Burton going FULL BURTON with the Batman franchise. Over-the-top hijinx and extremely dark character work create a gothic fairytale out of the Batman world. CARTOON CEREAL PARTY: CHRISTMAS EDITION Two hours of the greatest holiday cartoons on the big screen with unlimited sugary cereal for all! A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983, 35mm) “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!” CITIZEN KANE (1941, 35mm) Orson Welles’ immortal classic. The greatest film of all time. DIE HARD (1988, 35mm) Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation. DIE HARD is the ultimate holiday film that brings us together and makes us give thanks at the alter of Bruce Willis. Free Kids Club: EMMET OTTER’S JUGBAND CHRISTMAS (1977) The Alamo Kids Club Christmas custom returns, with special thanks to the Jim Henson Foundation! Kermit the Frog hosts this classic Muppet musical Christmas tale. With a live music set from the Rogue River String Band and free themed gifts from Toy Joy! HOME ALONE Pizza Party (1990, 35mm) “I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!” Cinema Cocktails: HUDSUCKER PROXY (1994, 35mm) The Coen Bros’ impossibly entertaining screwball comedy is one of the greatest New Year’s Eve movies ever made and this year we’re celebrating it with handcrafted themed cocktails (you know...for kids!) courtesy of our own Bill Norris. Cinema Club: IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT (1967, 35mm) On a summer night in Sparta Mississippi, an upstanding citizen is found murdered. In the course of the round-up a black man (Sidney Poitier), waiting for a train at the station, is picked up by the police. The cops have all but pinned the crime on him when it turns out that he is a Philadelphia homicide detective passing through town on a family visit. The police chief (Rod Steiger) is forced to reluctantly ask for his help in the investigation, and that’s where the trouble really begins. IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT is a fantastic, tense, entertaining movie full of great performances, music, and camerawork. Austin Film Society programmer Lars Nilsen will join us for a special introduction and audience discussion session after the film.

ELF Quote-Along (2003) The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! NEWSIES Sing-Along (1992, 35mm) Sing along with Christian Bale in his breakout role in Disney’s musical tribute to turn of the 20th century paperboys who become friends with Bill Pullman and then decide that it’s time to stick it to the man by going on strike from their jobs and turning to street performance art and super high heel-clicks to make the bosses understand their plight. NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY Ring in the new year, Action Pack style. XMAS POPS Sing-Along We put together the greatest and most ridiculous holiday hits so you can sing falsetto with the Peanuts gang, jam to Wham’s “Last Christmas” and dance along with Justin Bieber. We’ll have trivia, videoke, a host of new videos along with favorites from last year, and so, so much more.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE MONSTERS (1965, 35mm) What’s more terrifying than Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, Carrot Head (exactly what it sounds like), a robot, deformed siamese twins, and a cardboard dragon attacking Little Red Riding Hood and her friend, Stinky Skunk? That’s right -NOTHING. Well, maybe a Wicked Witch unleashing a spell that turns children into apes. TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972, 35mm) The E.C. horror comics come to life in this legendary Amicus horror anthology. One of the stories in the movie, “…And All Through the House,” concerns a filthy homicidal hobo who dresses like Santa Claus and terrorizes a family on Christmas Eve. This is everything you could ask for in entertainment during the Christmas season. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984, 35mm) A controversial and disgusting monolith of anti-Christmas celebration, in which a demented psycho dresses like Santa Claus and goes on a killing spree. See our hero deliver death to both the naughty and the nice! See a nubile teenage girl impaled on moose antlers! See police fire bullets at the most beloved figure in the entire world!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS (1982, 35mm) “Every girl should be given an electric guitar on her 16th birthday.” Dare to witness the electrifyingly entertaining rise and fall of the world’s ultimate fictional female punk band. LORD OF THE RINGS feast (2001-2003) Seven courses! Three movies! One ring to rule them all! Girlie Night: LOVE ACTUALLY (2003) Forget about little Ralphie or Charlie Brown. Heck, forget about Baby Jesus! LOVE ACTUALLY is basically the whole reason to celebrate Christmas. For, without this masterpiece of a romantic comedy, there would be no love in this cold, cruel world. The Benson Movie Interruption: SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE (2003) Benson and friends mock the ultimate in middle aged romantic shenanigans. Tough Guy Cinema: SUPERMAN (1978, 35mm) You will believe a man can fly. THE SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS (1957, 35mm) In the swift, cynical SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS, Burt Lancaster stars as the vicious Broadway gossip columnist J. J. Hunsecker, and Tony Curtis as Sidney Falco, the unprincipled press agent Hunsecker ropes into smearing the up-and-coming jazz musician romancing his beloved sister. Featuring deliciously unsavory dialogue in an acid, brilliantly structured script, and noirish neon cityscapes, this is a cracklingly cruel dispatch from the kill-or-be-killed wilds of 1950s Manhattan. ATX Fest presents TV NIGHT Join us for the inaugural screening of a new regular series that will run the gamut from bizarre Brazilian cop shows to medical dramas to sitcoms to variety hours to...you get the idea. For the kick off, we’re getting festive and showing holiday episodes from four classic sitcoms. We’re not saying which ones they’ll be but each is from a different decade, so get ready to witness the evolution of TV comedy! Homo Arigato: UNZIPPED! (1995, 35mm) What do you get when you combine the Hollywood Eskimo look, the Mary Tyler Moore show, and Ouija-derived advise like “dominatrix mixed with Hitchcock”? Isaac Mizrahi’s 1994 fall fashion line. Zzang!!!: WILLOW (1988, 35mm) Long before putting tiny people in movies was cool, Willow stood alone and declared himself THE GREATEST SORCERER TO HAVE EVER LIVED. Willow is a whirlwind of totally ‘80s wildness peppered with George Lucas touches under the steady direction of Ron Howard. There’s real magic, stage magic, and movie magic and this movie has all three! ZZANG!!! ZODIAC (2007, 35mm) Based on the true story of one of America’s most notorious uncaptured serial killers, ZODIAC is as much a story of obsession as it is a story of murder. A masterpiece from director David Fincher that, despite overwhelming positive reviews and an all-star cast, was left basically ignored by audiences. Don’t make the same mistake twice and miss your chance to get swept up in this gut-wrenching sea of anxiety!

MASTER PANCAKE

AUSTIN’S FAVORITE MOVIE MOCKING MAESTROS

MASTER PANCAKE CHRISTMAS SHOW The Master Pancake holiday extravaganza returns! Join us as we mock a blizzard of clips from your favorite holiday movies and specials (Rudolph, Frosty, The Grinch) to some weird programs you never dreamed existed (The Christmas Shoes, holiday porn)!

WEIRD WEDNESDAY — $3
EXPLOITATION CLASSICS IN 35MM

MUSIC MONDAY
MOVIES ABOUT MUSIC

GET CRAZY (1983, 35mm) One of the most rabidly garish and spastic movies the neon decade had to offer. Director Allan Arkush’s follow-up to his beloved ROCK N’ ROLL HIGH SCHOOL offers up an even more outrageous look at rock, roll, sex, and drugs! It’s New Year’s Eve in New York City and a wicked promoter has a plan to hatch a massive concert at the biggest venue in town. As the bands and the fans start showing up at The Saturn, things do indeed Get Crazy. This movie destroys all challengers. THE STONE ROSES -- MADE OF STONE (2013) In 2012, a resurrection no one thought possible took place when legendary band The Stone Roses reformed after 16 years. With unprecedented access to previously unseen archive footage, MADE OF STONE is a revealing journey through the life of one of the most revered and influential bands in British music history.

THE DRIVER’S SEAT (1974, 35mm) Super rare, unbelievably weird artsploitation starring Elizabeth Taylor as a spiritually lost woman on a search for the perfect man in a cold, hostile Rome. The movie’s sense of icy alienation would be unbearable if it weren’t for Taylor grabbing hold of every scene like a great white shark and shaking all the meat out of it. Sample dialogue from Liz: “When I diet, I diet -- and when I orgasm, I orgasm!” LOADED GUNS (1975, 35mm) The late Fernando Di Leo made some of the toughest, funniest crime movies ever. But LOADED GUNS is different from his other movies like MISTER SCARFACE and THE ITALIAN CONNECTION: Ursula Andress is the heroine, a stewardess who’s had just about enough shit from everybody. She takes on Woody Strode and his tough bunch of carnival workers with the help of acrobat Marc Porel. The movie is played as a broad farce and it’s a crazy love story to boot. A true Stewardessploitation Classic! THE SILENT PARTNER (1978, 35mm) Elliott Gould stars as a bank teller who spies a way to steal a lot of money from his till and get away with it. The problem with his plan is that he antagonizes a real bank robber, who’s also a real mean dude (played brilliantly by Christopher Plummer). Plummer, who has cased and robbed the bank in the guise of a department store Santa, puts the pieces together fairly quickly and starts to make Gould’s life a living hell. But Gould, a chess enthusiast with a mind for strategy, counters every move. The tension ratchets up to an unbearable intensity before the sublime conclusion. One of the best movies of the ‘70s!

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