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Transformation by NeerajSabharwal

Transformation by NeerajSabharwal


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Published by Neeraj Sabharwal

Non fiction book written with love and truth. Its based on story of father who went through a transformation. http://neerajsabharwal.com

Non fiction book written with love and truth. Its based on story of father who went through a transformation. http://neerajsabharwal.com

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Published by: Neeraj Sabharwal on Aug 21, 2009
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People Change, And That Is


Copyright (c) 2009 by Neeraj Sabharwal with the Library of Congress. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. Visit the website for upcoming news. The authors and publishers of this book do not dispense medical, health, financial or other advice. Should you choose to use any of the ideas in the book; the author and publisher assume no responsibility for your action.

Edited by: Ronnie Lynne


Knowledge, Meditation and Wisdom



To Jasmine
Why is it harder for a father to express his love than it is for a mother? I have found the answer now that I am a father. My love for you is so deep that it may take my whole life to give it all to you. You transformed my life. Your love for your father has helped me to come back home to love, compassion and inner peace. I decided to write this book for you because I believe that one day you will pick it up and use it as a strong tool to transform your life.


First, I want to thank my daughter, who helped me recognize my spiritual call. Secondly, I want to thank all my friends who have always been there for me through all my ups and downs. I extend my thanks to all the world's transformers or spiritual teachers, who are helping others by sharing their experiences, knowledge and wisdom. I want to thank my mother and family, who are always there for me. Also, thanks to all the mothers who have created a beautiful example of oneness.


My goal is to share my experience concerning transformation, a meditation technique, and the knowledge needed to gain spiritual wisdom to live a life full of love and bliss. Transformation means a change in old beliefs, habits, and lifestyles that will enable you to forget the difficulties of your past that caused you pain, stress and confusion. You can experience a rebirth within your own life. Yes, it is a spiritual birth when you decide to make efforts to go back to your original home that is full of bliss, joy, love and purity. You must be aware that you are in pain because of yourself, and not others. After offering a deep understanding of the


knowledge needed for transformation, I will discuss a meditation technique to experience cosmic energy. There is energy inside of this meat suit and that energy is called soul. The original qualities of soul are purity, power, love, bliss, peace, truth and joy. You will churn, and remember the knowledge given in this book to handle your karmic relationships, such as your relationship with your partner, parents, friends, coworkers, and strangers. Once you are able to do that, you will reach the state of mind, which I call “Spiritual Wisdom” for making the right decision at the right time. All words and knowledge shared in this book are based on personal experiences. I am focused on living a better life in this birth, so please do not confuse any words with a previous birth or


the next birth. You will see these words in one of the following pages.


I would like to share my experience on transformation. I was not always aware of the difference between religion and spirituality. I used to go to the temple every day because I saw my family go. I used to visit religious places like temples and places for meeting saints. I knew that I had a strong will power and determination. I was under the impression that my beliefs are as strong as my will power. “I have no ego,” is still one of my favorite lines, because I have always thought being humble, gentle and down to Earth means you have no ego. I have made efforts to achieve my aims and goals. God creates our


destiny, so go with the flow and with your feelings; this was one of my beliefs, too. I had no knowledge of the thinking process. I thought thinking was good for the brain, as it is like an exercise. There were a few ups and downs in my relationships. My inner voice, which I was not aware of, used to ask me “Do you know why you are in this world?” I never paid any attention to this question, because I didn't realize the voice was talking to me. I had a feeling that there was something that was going to happen in my life, but I was not aware of what. A few months after my twenty-ninth birthday, I woke up one morning around 3:00 AM and started looking at a wall. I realized how I had wasted my time in the last several years


chasing illusions, which were money and more status. I listened to a voice in my head, and I broke the bondage with others who were not important at all in my life. I was only with them because of my desires. I decided to break that circle. Tears were falling and I asked one question, “Why I am here? What is my purpose in this world?” One of my friends sent me spiritual material to listen to. I spent the next few days listening to those texts. After a few days, I got in touch with a spiritual teacher who helped me to understand my real identity. I had no knowledge about the energy in this costume, which is our body. I started spending more time in deep silence and meditation. After a


few days, while sitting in silence, I felt an itch and also vibrations on the top of my head. I opened my eyes and looked at the same wall. I saw the real beauty of that wall and other things around me. The next day, I heard, “I am giving you three things: knowledge, wisdom and energy, and your project is Service.” I started paying attention to spiritual teachers and churning their words. I was spending more time in solitude and listening to spiritual texts. I started writing notes and sharing my knowledge with others. I did more research on the vibrations I felt during meditation and found that with divine energy, there is cosmic energy. I felt a drastic change in my life. I broke the cycle of confusion and complications. I hope this book, and my words, will


help others to understand the purpose of their existence in this world and help them to feel the cosmic energy while in meditation. Spiritual Love will guide us back Home. At the end of the journey, all that must be left inside us is love. Let no one, during any point of time in your life, have the power to remove your love for them. “Love is breathing. When you see anyone not breathing (loving), give them breath.” There are a few words which I want to share with you in this introduction: Inward: Your inner body. The Real You: You with no ego. The Non-Real You: ego The Detached Observer: The state of mind


when you are seeing the world with open eyes but your mind is inward. God: I am not talking about god, who is sitting in temples or mosques or churches or any other religious places. Karmic Accounts: Taking care of your work, whether dealing with a car dealer, or insurance agent, or strangers or anything else which the Real You is not related to. Karmic relationship means your relationship with your family. For example: a relationship with your spouse, son, daughter, parents or anyone where you don’t have a choice about whether to avoid them or not. I want you to ask one question in your mind. Why are you reading this book? You are reading this book, or any other spiritual text, because you are ready to


break the attachment with your old life; a life full of confusion, stress and complications. You are ready to become a human “being”. It is okay if you are asking, “I am a human being already, so then how can I become something which I already am?” It is because you may find yourself in a different state of mind once you finish this book. I just want you to understand how important you are in this world, because you are manifested by a divine power with a body, brain and soul. I tried my best to use simple words and organize this book in a way to make it easy to understand. Transformation is a change in your beliefs. You are awake to the pain so it is time for the treatment.


Knowledge: You are looking for someone to help you to understand why you are here in this world. You will find the answer once you start using the knowledge that is given in this book. Meditation: Treatment is going on so that medication is required. Learn to become still and practice feeling cosmic energy. Meditation brings healing. Real change comes in once you have knowledge and remembrance. Wisdom: You use your knowledge to handle your karmic relationships. You may find a few words or lines being repeated. There is a purpose behind this. Remembering is the challenge. Once you understand the spiritual knowledge, the next challenge is the use of that knowledge in the right way at the


right time to avoid future complications. You don't allow any other human to give you emotional sorrow because you are using strong weapons to save your real identity from the non-real you, which is ego. Weapons: Purity, Love, Peace, Joy, Honesty, Truth. No Ego, No Lust from our human body and power are our weapons.


Contents Dedication Acknowledgments Preface Origin Knowledge Forward Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Drama Mind Destiny Happiness Illusion Ego Human Pain Suffering World 90 98 5 6 7 10 22 23 26 31 35 40 57 65 85

and World Transformer Chapter 9 Human Beings

Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

God Self-Love

103 114

Transformation Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Meditation Elevated State of Mind Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Purity You and Spiritual Power Chapter 17 Relationship And Ego Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Powers of P’s Chapter 20 Heal Your Heart Wisdom

116 124

133 144


168 177




Closing Will You Help About The Author Works cited

196 207 208 210


Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice. ~ Anton Chekhov ~


We all remember God, but there is a moment when God remembers us.

You won’t be able to feel the energy behind these words if you are not in the right state of mind, so I ask that you search your heart and feel the need inside you to read these words. You go to a temple, church, mosque or other religious place to pray. You remember God and pray to Him to help you to get out of pain, sorrow and other complications in your life. Do you hear anything back? You may feel relaxed and at peace for a few moments, but life goes back into the same cycle of pain once you get back home and get back into your daily routine.


Please take a moment for yourself. Breathe in and out. Keep doing this until you feel the lightness in your breathing and body. Read these lines with 100% presence; “Life moves in a circle.” You go to school, college, meet someone special, lose someone special, and life goes on. You achieve your goals; you set new goals. You are happy for a few moments after achieving those goals and then life goes back into the same cycle again. You keep blaming others or God for all of your pain and suffering. You are confused because you think you have strong beliefs but you are still in pain. And there comes a moment in your life when you wake up and ask yourself, “Why am I in this world?”


You feel trapped in a cycle of sorrow and pain. I am not talking about physical pain, but emotional pain. Accept that you are in pain. Stop resisting the pain and suffering at this stage, and do not resist your tears if they are ready to fall because this will be the last time you feel this way. You will be ready to experience a new life after reading this book. You are on your way to breaking that cycle of pain and suffering you have been living with. Life is what you make of it. Everyone is looking for happiness. You cannot be happy if you are trapped under your ego and carrying a load of fears, such as the fear of loneliness or of being single or of dying alone. Life is not complicated. We complicate it by focusing too much on the past and future.


Chapter 1
You may have heard this word many times from others or you may have used it to describe others. We often use this word in relationships, but I am going to relate this word to life. Life is a drama, too. Does it make you angry that I have compared your life to drama? Are you thinking, “My life is important to me and he is saying all it consists of is drama?” I am talking about the ‘you’ before transformation. You are in pain and dealing with all the suffering without seeing any end in sight, but there is a limit for everything. The time arrives when you are ready to give up.


Don’t give up your life, please. Your life is definitely important to you, but it is time to let others see how important you are to the world as well. That is only possible if you start giving back to the world. When you are awakened, the word drama has a different connotation. An awakened person looks for transformation because they know that pain is present - and that it is present because of their actions, not others. This is how the drama of (insert your name here.) would play out. The episodes may vary according to individual circumstances and situations, but in this drama you are the actor or actress. Episode 1: Birth. The drama starts. In the beginning everything may be full of peace and love.


Episode 2: You come into contact with other actors during school, college, and your work life. Episode 3: You set goals. Episode 4: The journey starts; you begin to work at achieving your goals. Episode 5: The journey continues; there are many ups and downs, confusions, sorrow for you and others, as well as pain. Episode 6: Things are not working out the way you planned. Everything is going wrong. You feel exhausted and frustrated. You have issues in your professional and personal life. You jump from one relationship to another. You overreact to minor things. Your ego is playing its role, but you are not aware of it. Episode 7: One day you say, “Oh man, I


am done. My life is going in a circle...I need to break out of this cycle so I can understand what’s happening to me, what life wants from me (or what I want from life) and what life really is really all about.” An interval in the drama: This represents the moment that you discovered that you are responsible for the pain you are in. This is the time when you use the foundations laid by your family; the religious or spiritual instruction you had in your childhood. You look for help with questions such as, “What should I do to transform my life? What is missing?” You are searching to find the solution to your problems. It does not take long to recognize all of this if you are aware of spirituality, or you have read spiritual texts. However, if you


have not read spiritual texts it may take a while to recognize the help you are looking for. You will eventually find it because you are looking for it, and you will find it sooner if you are passionate about it. The good news is that you have found that help already because you are reading this book. Episode 8: Transformation: the way to a new life. I will discuss this episode in detail later in this book. Episode 9: A new life after transformation. Life is full of bliss, peace, and love.


Chapter 2
Every human being is the author of his own health or disease ~Buddha~

The human body is dead when it is without energy. Have you ever asked this question, “What is the energy that makes the body alive?” I asked that question and found that the answer is soul or aatma (a Hindi word). What is the mind? According to Dictionary.com, the definition of mind is: “The element, part, substance, or process that reasons, thinks, feels, wills, perceives, judges, etc.; the


processes of the human mind” (1). The mind is like a factory and information is the raw material. Information comes in, and the mind processes this raw material and generates thoughts, which turn into feelings and actions. It is very important to understand this part of the human body, because once you realize that the mind has been playing games with you, you can begin to work toward avoiding any future complications from that problem. Let’s consider the following two examples to get an idea of how the mind operates. A high school student is ready to go to school, but his parents find out that school is closed because of an unexpected incident. The information goes to that student and his mind


starts processing it, "Yeah, time for fun.” He starts jumping up and down as his mind begins to plan fun things for the whole day. A guy had a recent break up. He starts meeting new people. One day, he is out with a few friends and meets a beautiful girl. Here we go again. The mind is playing its role. Information comes in that she is single. The mind picks up the information and processes it. The guy takes the first step, and they start dating. The mind gets new information that she is looking for a long-term relationship. The mind processes it, so then the guy proposes to her for marriage, even though they have only known each other for a short time. They get married, but after a few months they get divorced. The guy did not realize


that relationship was based on fear of loneliness. The essence is that you cannot blame others and God for your actions. It is your mind, and you are supposed to use it, but most of the time, the mind uses you.


Chapter 3
What is one of the main things you do when you are alone, or with friends, or at work? I asked this question of a friend. She said, “I am thinking.” I asked, “You are thinking about what?” She started thinking about my question, and it did not take her long time to find the answer. And that answer was - thinking. You think and think and think. We think all the time. We think about the past, the present, and the future. Our thoughts create our destiny. Information comes in; our mind processes them and creates thoughts. Thoughts turn into feelings. Feelings


turn into actions. A series of actions results in habits. Habits reflect our personality. Personality does Karma, and results in your destiny. One example is smoking. Chain-smoking is a habit, and a chainsmoker has a certain type of personality. This is an introduction to the Power of Thoughts. According to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at UCLA, each human being has approximately 70,000 thoughts per day. If you break that down, each person thinks 2917 thoughts an hour each day and 49 thoughts each minute (2). If 85% of those thoughts are related to the past, 10% belong to the future and only 5% are related to the present, you can see how very important it is to


be aware of the quality of the thoughts you are thinking. Because the percent of thoughts you are thinking for our present is so low, it is vital that you keep them positive. Positive thoughts are those thoughts that are based on strong or good values. For example, your thoughts about peace or helping someone in this world. Necessary or Karmic thoughts are those thoughts that are related to dayto-day activity, such as thoughts about going to a gym, to a store for groceries, or even paying your taxes online. Negative thoughts are thoughts of hate, jealousy, control, or causing hurt or sorrow for someone. Waste thoughts are a category of thought that comes into the picture when we have nothing to think about.


We bring back our past, and then start spending energy on it. For example, a past relationship that caused sorrow for you, or somebody's words that caused you sorrow. You remember how you felt and it causes you to hurt again. You are spending energy on thoughts that are not constructive or positive. When you think about the past or future a lot, then you will start feeling heavy. That heaviness indicates that your frequency of thoughts is very high, and because those thoughts are waste thoughts they are draining vital energy. When this happens you should immediately look at the quality of your thoughts, pause and try to relax. Once you have the knowledge about the quality of thoughts it is easy to see how you can become trapped in a cycle of wasteful thinking. You can


also see that you have allowed your mind to start playing games with you. Remember: Thoughts create our Destiny


Chapter 4
I look at people when they laugh. You can feel it if someone is really laughing from the heart or just laughing along with others. After my transformation, people around me began to ask, “Why you are so happy? What is your secret?” The secret is the knowledge that happiness is inside, not outside of you. Happiness is a choice. What does that mean? How can I say that happiness is a choice? You choose to walk or drive. You choose to eat different kinds of food. You choose to call someone, or not. You choose to answer your phone when it rings, or not. This comes from


feelings and feelings come from thoughts. Ask one question of yourself, “What makes me happy?” Is it a job promotion, a new house, a new car, a relationship? I used to say, “I will be very happy if I get a promotion or a new car or…” Do you realize what I had done? I had set conditions for becoming happy. My happiness was conditional and based on achieving the goals I had set or my excitement at reaching them. “Happiness is a journey, not the destination.” Do we really know the practical meaning of that? We have all heard that life is a journey. You cannot be happy if your happiness is based on achieving goals. That’s an excitement which is temporary. You think you are happy, and that feeling stays there for a


period of time, but after a few weeks you go back to feeling the need to achieve more in order to find happiness again. You cannot search for happiness outside yourself and expect to find it. So, what is happiness, and where is it? Happiness is a feeling, and it comes from inside your mind because it is generated by your thoughts. You could be living in a million dollar house, and still not be happy if you are not happy within yourself. Too often, we look for happiness outside because we feel that happiness is dependent on the other people in our lives. The truth is that our happiness is created by our own thoughts. We need to recognize happiness within ourselves and then learn how to maintain it. Humans are naturally full of love and happiness. You may well ask,


“What is he talking about? I am in so much trouble and under so much stress!” Let’s talk about your troubles and the reason behind your stress. Look at the dictionary meaning of trouble. Trouble is worry, and worry is suffering from disturbing thoughts. You are worried because you are living in the future, and stressing about it. The future is an illusion. Think about that sentence carefully. You may not like what I am saying, but that does not make it any less true. For example, the possibility of losing a job, a relationship, or any attachment is a future concern and is an illusion at this moment. It does not exist in the present, which is this very moment. If you are worrying about something that might happen, you are worrying about an illusion.


Your current moment is now, reading these words, if you are really 100% present here. You have to become a real owner of your thoughts. . It is vital to understand the power of thought for this reason; remember your thoughts create your destiny. Use your knowledge and wisdom to control your thoughts. Talk to yourself, and if you come across a wasteful thought, don’t let it ruin your present. Dump that wasteful thought immediately. Maybe you are thinking, “Okay, I understand the power of thought. I understand that thought creates my destiny. I understand that happiness is within me, but I am still confused. I don’t know if I have really found the way to open the door of happiness.” There is a key to that door of


happiness, and it is to stop resisting life and the present. Resistance is opposition. If you are resisting your present moment, then you are going in the opposite direction of happiness. Accept your current moment as it is, and start focusing on how to bring good changes into your life. Resistance and persistence go hand in hand. The more you resist, the more resistance will come back to you. Are you resisting something in your professional life? Are you resisting something in your personal life? Are you working against this present moment by persisting in spending your energy on those thoughts? If you are, pause for a moment and think about these situations. I don’t like my work. I don’t want to work for that company. I don’t like my


co-workers. I don’t like my manager. I love my partner, but I want him/her to change a little. I can’t accept him/her as he/she is. I don’t like the current moment. I don’t want to live in this house. I don’t want to live with my parents. I don’t want a certain person in my life. I don’t want… I don’t want…I don’t want… You are resisting and putting energy into those negative thoughts. Imagine you have two plants of the same kind. You are taking care of and spending time on the first plant while paying little attention to the other plant. In the next few days or weeks, the neglected plant will die. You can understand your current situation if you replace the first plant with your resistance and negative thoughts and


the second plant with positive thoughts and acceptance. When you expend all your energy on negative thoughts you bankrupt your positive thoughts so that there are none left to spend. You need to choose to think positive thoughts. Happiness is not conditional…it is a choice! Happiness and Fear The next thing I want to talk about is your fear. Fear can be defined as, “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid”

Get rid of your fears. Throw them to the wind. Most of the time you are not even aware that fear is present because you are so busy in the outside


world or cursing your present moment that you might not realize you have been living under the burden of fear. Let’s talk about surrender, because you have to surrender all of your fear to live a life full of happiness. Surrender is giving up. I am not saying to just give up and do nothing about your life. Instead, give up the resistance and all the fear and start accepting things as they are. Accept your partner as he/she is. Accept your current moment as it is, and use your brain to take necessary actions. You cannot control others, but you can control yourself. It is an illusion to think you can control someone. Give up your fear of losing your partner. Give up your fear of boredom.


Give up your fear of being lonely. Give up your lust. Give up your ego. Give up the habit of trying to control others. Give up your old beliefs and say, “'I am up for Transformation.” Happiness and Expectations “Take actions without the expectations of fruit ~ Bhagavad Gita” Expectations bring disappointments. There are moments in life when you feel disheartened, disappointed, and stressed out because you have failed to meet the expectations which you set for yourself. Those expectations can be related to


your work, relationships, or taking care of day to day business. Sometimes we set expectations based on assumptions. Following are some examples of assuming the outcome of certain situations. Perhaps a coworker was supposed to finish a task for you and he/she did not. You get angry as soon as you see the results, which are not as you expected, or assumed that they would be. Your partner was supposed to do something for you, and you had high expectations, but it did not work out the way you assumed it would. It makes you frustrated and angry. The same applies to me. I am writing this book, and I have no expectation of the success of this work. I learned much about this principle


after the loss of my first love, “No expectations. No pain.” What is the origin of expectation? Expectations come from some perceived lack, or from locked emotions (shared by a Facebook friend). Here is an easy example. One of my friends said, “I am expecting a promotion.” I asked, “Why are you expecting it?” He said, “Because I want a promotion.” I asked, “Why do you want a promotion?” He said, “Because I need it, and I want more money and status from my job.” It has been four years, and he is still waiting, still expecting that raise. Sometimes he gets frustrated and angry because of the waiting and his failed expectations. It is very important to understand why do we even have expectations and


once we find the origin then we can get to the point where we can welcome transformation and choose a different approach. When you have become so discouraged because you have kept expecting some change that never happens, you will finally come to the point where you will welcome change, or transformation. If you are expecting that your partner, manager, or friends will change and behave as you expect them to, then it is very unlikely change will happen unless they decided to change. We go through the same complications in our life. We set up wrong or high expectations and then go through sorrow, confusion, insecurities and stress. Following are some guidelines to help you avoid unrealistic expectations:


1) Don't say something you don't mean. Courtesy is good, but make sure that courtesy does not set up unreal expectations. For example, exchanging calls, text messages, giving information to your partner and then expecting the same response from them can be unrealistic. You will end up feeling frustrated if you don’t get the desired response. 2) Let your friend or partner ‘be’ the way he/she is, don't try to write another person's script. It is okay to share your views and feelings, but don’t set up the expectation that after listening, he/she will change. Don't set the stage with wrong expectations, because in the


3) end, those expectations are probably going to fall, resulting in pain, sorrow and stress. Remember external expressions are reflections of our insides, and it is inside ourselves that we can safely experiment with surrendering to what we fear. Think 100 times before you point a finger at your partner or friend or stranger. Think, “What am I asking for, and why?” You want to be happy and enjoy your relationships. Anything in excess is not healthy. Give up your unnecessary expectations. The essence of this point is to understand that we all are working hard to achieve one thing and that’s happiness.


You cannot achieve something that you already have. It is just a matter of making the right choices, accepting your present completely, and then spending your energy in a positive manner.


“Love is power. It is very important to love yourself before you jump into a relationship. Don't jump on that ship with fears and loads of ego that will cause it to sink one day, leaving you with confusion and stress.”


Chapter 5
Consciousness is awareness of one's own existence. "Humans are unconscious." It is very true. Are you confused or angry after reading what I have said about your current state of mind? You are unconscious if you are trapped under an illusion. Illusion is something which is not real. You see it, but it does not exist, or let's say it exists, but it is not real. I studied the ‘mirage effect’ in school. On a hot, sunny day when you drive, you may see a patch of wet road ahead of you, but when you arrive at that point you will find no wet patch. It is an illusion. If you believe that more money or power will bring love, peace,


and happiness, you are suffering under the effects of an illusion. An illusion or maya (Hindi word) is an impression. For example, thinking that money is everything, or that social status is happiness, or that possessing more power will improve your existence in this world; these are all illusions. Illusion manifests itself when we are trapped under body consciousness, or of fulfilling all the desires of the body. The body is looking to survive and to find another human body to fulfill its desires with. A body has a name and that name can have status. The name is craving to possess more status. For example, lust for power, fame, or fortune. Maybe you are an assistant and you are craving to become the manager.


The status you think you will achieve when you become manager is an illusion. So you become manager…then what? Next you want to be the director, and so on. The cycle will just keep on going because your expectation of what will provide you with the status you crave is an illusion, and you are trapped under it because you are more focused on a future which does not exist then in the now you are living in. You say, “I feel so good after reaching this position.” You may not be aware of it, but that victory is not a victory at all if you reached those goals at the cost of your present moments with your loved ones and yourself. You love someone, but your ego, which is an illusion (the non-real you),


is playing games. You are trapped under body consciousness. We usually don't even know that we are trapped under ego as we keep making excuses for our actions and beliefs to enable ourselves to continue believing we are right. This is the situation ego feeds and grows on. Now let’s discuss what I meant by saying “Humans are unconscious.” You may say, “I disagree with the statement the author made that “Humans are unconscious." If you agree with me, then you are probably on the side of the situation where you are capable of accepting the present as it is and working with it. If you disagree, then you’re side of the situation is the illusion, and you have discarded your present to live in the future.


Imagine yourself as an angel for a minute. An angel is a person having those qualities generally attributed to an angel such as beauty, purity and kindness. If you bring the picture of an angel into your mind you will see a beautiful being with two wings. You are an angel; an angel with love, peace, and purity. Vices like ego, lust, anger, greed, possessiveness, and controlling others have broken your wings. What does it take to go back to your original state, to fix those wings and fly back to the path of love, peace, and purity? You need zeal and persistence to become pure in actions, and enthusiasm to bring transformation. Start seeing the world through the eyes


of peace and love. Start recognizing the existence of illusion in your life. Look at your actions and see if you are creating sorrow for yourself and others. Don’t allow yourself to create sorrow and pain for yourself or anyone else. Share your knowledge, and help others to reach their goals. This will create blessings, and blessings bring strength and inspiration. Sometimes I look at the carpet, as though the carpet is the universe and each thread in the carpet is a life. When seen like that, we are just one thread among millions. Why do we need to take everything personally and start cursing our own mind, existence and life? Curses are negative thoughts that will accomplish nothing. These negative thoughts weaken our existence in this world. Let’s go


back to the carpet. Imagine a vacuum cleaner comes along and takes the loose threads out of the carpet. A vacuum cleaner is like an unexpected incident such as the loss of a relationship or job which can cause you to begin losing control over your mind and allowing it to control you.


There are two of you …

“The first image is real you and the other one is non-real. The real image is love, compassion, peace, truth and kindness. The non-real one, ego, has become stronger over the years because you have let it feed on negative emotions, so the real you has become lost. Now is the time to let go of that non-real image.”


Chapter 6
Imagine that you are standing in a bank and depositing cash. Bank robbers come in and steal all the cash from the bank, including the cash you had in your hand. That is your ego. It is robbing your happiness bank every moment you get irritated, frustrated, start yelling at others, or lose your temper and start focusing on negative, wasteful thoughts. Ego is a self-made robber created from a lack of knowledge and awareness. The ego is a false image of you. There are two of you. There is the real you and the non-real you, or your ego. Your real image is love, peace,


purity, and bliss, but your ego is playing a role against these powers, as a replica of you. It is creating barriers for your happiness. When you use the word “I”, and attach words like, “I did this, I am this, I control this, and I have a feeling of power, of changing and controlling others,” this “I” is the non-real side of you, or your ego. It is the side that desires to possess more and more…and ego exists in various forms. This raises another question, “Who am I for real?” And the answer to that question is, you are not only your body, which I call a “meat suit” or “costume,” you are energy. I call that energy the soul, which is full of bliss, purity, love and peace. Ego and Work Never, ever underestimate anyone in your life. Ego springs into action when you start underestimating your


co-workers or team members based on experiences, position, or skill sets that they may have or possess. Ego does not believe in teamwork. Ego says, “I control my team, and I won’t let anyone come forward.” Ego also has the insecurity that someone may come up with a better idea than it may have. Sometimes ego is in a powerful position and sees no choice. Your professional life can be chaotic. In this case, your ego starts competing against the other person’s ego concerning who possesses more power. A new member joins a team, and the ego of one of the old team members sees the ability to use that newcomer to get more work done. Yet, after a few days, he/she has found that the newcomer is a fast learner and is picking things up very quickly. Ego starts playing games as you


create more issues and challenges in the job for the newcomer. If that doesn’t work out, then your ego may lose patience and become offensive and perhaps violent. Most people are aware of the phrase “corporate politics.” With corporate politics, people play games to get more power and job security by trying to prove that others are wrong or less competent and ego is the main player in that game. Ego does not care to listen to others and always tries to impose his/her own rules. Ego says, “You have no choice,” or, “I won’t give you any choice. I will make the rules, and you have to follow them.” The best things for the real you are to accept your current situation and start understanding that you have the choice not to let your ego gain control. You may think that you need to change


jobs, but the reality is that you may find the same circumstances at the next place. Try to make choices in the positive direction which are based on love and peace. Look at the positive side of being criticized or picked on by your coworkers. There is always a chance for learning behind every comment they make toward you or that you make toward others. Begin to realize that if you are the common denominator in every situation you feel has hurt you that perhaps your ego has been in control all along. You can choose to change that. Ego and Relationship You may say, you want to call your significant other but won’t call him/her, because he/she does not call you that


often. Who is talking here, the real you or your ego? The real you is full of love and understanding. The non-real you, or your ego, is full of controlling thoughts and negativity. Ego always wants to feel superior. It says, “I am not happy with him/her, and I don’t want this relationship anymore because I am right and he/she is wrong and won’t change.” You don’t want to say this to him/her because your ego does not want to take the blame or fault for the failed relationship. Ego says, “I don’t care about your pain and sorrow. I care about my pain and sorrow and my status and how it makes me feel. I don’t want others to blame me for this break up.” Please consider this real story:


Lora (real name not used) called her boyfriend, but he was busy. She sent him a text, but he was with his manager so he called her back after a few hours when he had some free time. When he finally got to talk to her she sounded mad. He asked her what was wrong and she said, “You don't answer my calls, and you take so long to call me back.” As he was listening to her he started feeling that negative energy she was putting out, so he asked her what was bothering her. She said she felt like he didn’t love her any more. He explained that he had been busy, and she relented and said, “Okay, I understand.” However, after a few days the same thing happened again. Lora called me to discuss his behavior and I asked her, “What is bothering you?” She said that I was asking the same question her partner had asked. I could see that her ego was


ruling her state of mind. She then asked me, “Why do I need to call him? Why can’t he call me first?” I told her that that line of reasoning was not love. She was playing mind games, and ego is the main player of that game. She simply thanked me and hung up, clearly not happy with my response. I will go into more detail about ego later in this book, under “Relationship and Ego.” Ego and Criticizing Criticism comes from fear of losing your attachment to your status. You try to dominate and control others. Let’s consider an example. Childhood: A & B are very good friends. They


play and go to school together. They are having fun and enjoying their childhood. Ego is never an issue and there is no criticizing between the two friends. Adult life: A & B are out for lunch. A shares an idea with B. B has a different idea on the same topic. B starts criticizing A's idea. B and A get into a serious argument, and it results in a strained relationship which causes them both pain. During childhood, they are pure with no ego, or fear of losing any attachment to status or relationships. In adult life, however, their behavior changed because each had fear of losing the attachment to their own status. The change resulted in ego


games, and that always ends badly.The difference between ego and selfrespect is that ego causes pain or hurt, while self-respect always results in stability without pain. If B said, “This is the best idea,” the statement could be considered egotistical. If, however, B said, “This is my best idea,” the statement reflects self-respect and lack of egotistical thoughts. Psychologically, nobody can hurt you. We allow people to hurt us by taking things personally in an attempt to protect our self-image, or ego. Ego and Loneliness Imagine you say, “I like that person. He/she is my friend and we talk every day, exchange texts, emails and calls. I can't live without him/her.” Now suppose he/she is away for a few days,


and you get bored. You are incapable of spending time alone. You need someone right at this moment to prove to you how important you are in this world. You are looking at the phone and thinking, “Why is no one calling me? Why is there no one communicating with me?” Ego and the unconscious state of mind is playing with the real you. The real you is full of love and bliss. The real you has no problem spending time alone with yourself in your own company, but the ego is so big that it has taken over the real you. Your ego wants more food, in the form of attention. You start jumping from one relationship to another. The ego hates stillness and inner silence because stillness and inner silence kill


ego by starving it of the attention it craves. A person I know shared this experience with me. She said, “I am afraid of being lonely, so I have hundreds of friends.” I asked her to ask herself these questions; Do you love your own company? Do you like to spend time with yourself? How long do you expect a person to pay special attention to you? If you can’t spend time with yourself, then how can you expect someone else to spend time with you? Others will be with you for one day, one month, one year, or maybe a few years, which is rare. Ego will push you to move into another relationship as


soon as you don't get the attention it craves from your partner or friends. The same cycle repeats and you start losing all hope. Then you start raising questions in your mind, and you will find answers once you become still. There are hundreds of things to do in this world, you don’t need anyone to entertain you or build up your ego. Become a writer or an editor, a painter or anything for which you really have a passion. Bring forth creative ideas to help yourself and others and stop relying on others to give your life meaning. This world needs you. The creator created you with a brain, now use it! We can use our brains to transform our lives. If I can transform my life with my brain, you can transform your life with your brain. We are one. Go out for a walk


alone and try to see the real beauty of this world. Ego and Pride Pride is the state or feeling of being proud. You feel proud about goals reached or achievements completed. You may say, “I am proud of my son because he graduated.” This statement is good if it ends there, but pride comes in when you say, “My son is the best because he graduated with very high grades.” You feel like letting the whole world know about this feeling. You call a few friends to show how proud you are of your son’s achievement, but you feel bad when you find out that your friend’s son had a higher score than your son. You get a feeling that someone just ruined your happy


moment. The ego says, “Don’t call that friend anymore. Don’t worry about his/her son’s grade. His/her son probably cheated on the exam.” It is not difficult to recognize the existence of ego, it’s that thing that part of you that rears its ugly head as soon as you start feeling the need to say to others, “Look at me. I am better than you”, or “I have achieved more than you.” You need to let go of ego, but how do you let go? I have no authority to set any rules about how to do things. We all are free to accept or reject anything based on our own feelings, but I do have some suggestions that might help you to let go of ego. There are a few steps I use to let go of ego; Step 1) Analyze your feelings and words.


Focus on your feelings, and then see if your inner feelings are matching up with your words or not. You say, “Oh, I would love to see you!” but your inner feelings are telling you something else. You say, “I told you it is not good to talk to him/her but you are still doing it.” You say, “Don’t use that approach, use this one.” The real you does know that the other person is doing just fine, but your ego is feeling threatened because that person may come up with better results than you would, so you feel the need to tell that person what to do. Focus on your thoughts, which turn into feelings. Don’t ignore those weird or


non-weird feelings which are there inside of you, telling you the truth. Step 2) Consequences Any action taken under the influence of ego will result in pain and sorrow. For that moment, you may feel that everything is under control, or you have done a great job, but you don’t know what is going on in another person's mind. Your ego made the decision to yell at your co-worker or partner to show him/her that you have more power or control. You want to prove that you can change things any time you want. Others may not say anything at the moment, but sooner or later you could end up losing a friend or relationship. Ego is negative energy, thus it brings


negative results. You may be thinking that this is too much work. Let me ask you this, how long did it take you to figure out that 2+2 = 4 when you were in school…a few days? First you learned about numbers, and then the addition of those numbers. You practiced and practiced until now it just takes a second to find the result. Spiritual knowledge works the same way. It’s not like, “Oh, I have read 100 books on spirituality, and now I am a spiritual person.” It doesn’t work that way. You need to start using the knowledge in your daily life, practicing with it until it becomes second nature. Once you start analyzing your


feelings and thoughts for a few weeks or months, you may find that you no longer have to try to do it; it is happening by itself. You can feel ego trying to take control, but it will go away automatically because you are carrying both a strong spiritual knowledge and a power. I learned a phrase called “spoon feeding” in high school. The teacher said he was sharing his knowledge, and then it was up to us if we wanted to follow it or not. He made the point that he could not spoon feed it to us and force us to put it into practice.


“Don't carry the pain of past relationships or somebody's insulting words. Let go of them now, and give new purpose to your present moment. Help yourself, and then start helping others. Once you cross the river by swimming, try to build a bridge for others who can't swim.”


Chapter 7
Human pain
External pain is caused by physical damage to your body that others can see. Internal pain is caused by mental and emotional pain, which results in stress and health issues, but which is not always readily apparent to those around you. It is pain created by your past and your worries about the future. Please do not be confused with the word pain and try to locate it somewhere in your body. Pain is there, and that is why you are suffering and confused. If you are sharing your stories of how someone did something to cause you suffering, it means you are still carrying around that


load of pain. Pain can come from the loss of an old relationship, because of someone’s hurtful words, or because of the loss of an attachment to your father or mother or other family member. How long will it take to understand the importance of each present moment? You can definitely spend a whole life time crying about the past and worrying about the future, but it is useless. If you really want to do something, then please talk to yourself for once. Give up that pain, and stop talking to others about it. Start a new life to add value to this world. Don’t put the label of time on it. People often say, “I don’t have time; otherwise I would love to do it.” The first step is to stop sharing your pain and sorrow stories and focus


on positive thoughts. I once asked someone what he wanted to become in his life. He said, “I want to become a doctor, because my father died of cancer.” This person is building a dream to become a doctor based on the pain he is going to carry for his whole life. He may or may not become a doctor, but he set that goal because of the pain he is carrying. You may consider that to be an inspiration and maybe it is, but in this case, he seemingly only wants to become a doctor because of his father having died of cancer. He is being driven by continued pain, inspiration. Another example: Mr. A wants to become a successful person because he lost his first love. Mr. A is carrying this pain on the journey of his life. Mr. A


carries pain caused by the loss of his first love, and sometimes that pain results in pain attacks. Perhaps he starts yelling at his current partner because he worries that he is going to have the same thing happen again. That insecurity, caused by pain, is always there because of a lack of knowledge. He does not realize that there is a deep pain buried inside him, and the pain attacks result in complications and stress. What does it take to let go of pain? It requires the awareness that pain is present and that you are trapped under negative thoughts about the past and future. The future is an illusion, and if you keep thinking about negative things like the possibility of losing your job, or the chance that you might lose your relationship or a loved one, what


will it accomplish? Do we have pain at this moment? No, if you are 100% conscious and your mind is here, then you have no pain. Thought takes you out of the present. Your present is right now, reading these words. Look at the profound meaning of it...the next one second is the future...


Chapter 8
Suffering World and World Transformer
You are responsible for creating your environment. Imagine what your house would look like if you stopped cleaning it, or if you stopped taking care of yourself. After many years of neglecting yourself, you would start thinking, “I exercise, I take bath one or two times a day, I eat, sleep, jog, and walk. What’s wrong with me?” You are holding all the stories about your suffering in your mind, waiting for another human to listen. If you keep repeating your stories to everyone, then you won’t be able to heal your wounds. And your stories are


bringing negative thoughts into another person's life as well as your life now. Have you ever asked why you do that? Deep inside, you are looking for attention through sympathy. You don't like people who don't listen to your suffering story, so you call them rude or arrogant. How hard would it be for you to stop this unproductive cycle and move on with positive thoughts in your life? You are not happy with your situation because you don’t think your partner is paying enough attention to you. Maybe you are sticking with your situation because of your fear of loneliness, or being single, or for some other reason based on fear. One day either you will break the cycle or your partner will. A suffering world is a world of


people who like to go out, gossip, and share their suffering stories. But remember, they started loving each other and stayed together because they were paying attention to one another. What is the lesson here? In one line, “Never, ever talk about negative things.” Please stop thinking about the painful past. The Universe absorbs everything, so learn your lesson and let it go and never call it back again.” Thoughts are energy. We are responsible for creating our environment. Our thoughts send the vibes, and it does not take a long time for others to feel those vibes. Control the information you are receiving as well because information brings thoughts, and negative information brings negative thoughts. Start focusing


on bringing positive changes into your life. Fall in love with this feeling. I swear it can happen. Fall in love with transformation. Start feeling it by heart. Listen to your inner voice. When you go through pain, and you have reached the limit, then one voice rings out, saying, “I have had enough! What's going on here?” That voice guides you to start your journey and you come to the border between the world of sorrow and the world of bliss. World Transformers, spiritual teachers or spiritual books and videos are all around you. Pick one of those and really pay attention to the spiritual


texts or words. Don’t just hear…listen from the heart, again and again. You can bring changes quickly if you have access to a spiritual teacher, because that teacher’s words are like smoldering coals that help new coals burn brighter. It is your life, and you are the creator of it. I want you to sit down with a World Transformer and discuss the word “manifest.” Spend time on this word because it is very important. You can achieve anything in your life if you really understand the deep meaning of that one word. The definition of manifest is: "Evident to the senses, especially to the sight; apparent; distinctly perceived; hence, obvious to the understanding; apparent to the mind; easily apprehensible; plain; not obscure or hidden.”(1)


Manifest that you are the happiest person in your life. You don’t need another human being to make you happy. You are in love with yourself. You love your company. Trust me…it works. Don’t forget to carry two strong weapons, strong will power and determination. Recall that moment when you had this feeling, “Yes, I did it”. Recall it my friend. Life is precious and beautiful. Don’t let another person ruin your life. I am certainly not saying become selfish and stop paying attention to others at all. Spiritual knowledge realigns your sense of self with something you may not have ever imagined was within you. For example, you bought a lottery ticket but never bothered to check the results. One day you find the ticket and


decide to look up the draw numbers. A million dollar prize was sitting there, and you were not even aware of it. This is an example to help you understand the unknown power you are carrying within yourself, and you have never realized was there because you never bothered to look inside. The word Spirituality is based on spirit or soul, which is energy inside you. Spiritual paths take you home full of love, peace, bliss, and purity. Once you are on this path for long enough you begin to have the knowledge and wisdom to make the right decisions at the right time. Your life is wonderful and after some time you say, “Life was beautiful, but now it is beyond that… something I can’t describe, but it feels like heaven.”


Remember this. You are here to unfold a mystery, the question which you raised, “What is my purpose in this world?” You are reading this book, which means you have started the journey already, and you are walking on the Spiritual path.


Chapter 9
Human Beings
I have to take care of millions of things. I have to make phone calls, I have to call my insurance company, I have to pay my bills, I have to attend a conference call, I have to find a partner, and I have to go out to meet new people, to make new friends. I have no time to sit down and relax because I have to do so many things in such little time. This is human doing. Where is human being? Being is, "Be in." Be in? What does it mean? We’ve all heard, “Be good, Be Gentle, Be


Polite,” etc., but we’ve never heard "Be In." Being is your deepest self. To experience BE IN, you have to stay in the present and focus within. Become still and look inside. There is an inner self. We see a reflection of our external body when we look in the mirror. Stay there and talk to yourself for a few minutes. Try to explore what is inside of that external body. There is an inner body with an inner world. You are the king of that inner world and your thoughts, impressions and habits are part of your kingdom. As a smart and wise ruler you are controlling and taking care of all the parts of your kingdom. One day, something happens, like


the loss of a relationship or an unexpected event, and one part of your kingdom – your thoughts - take over the king and put you in the prison of your mind. The mind begins punishing you with sorrow, pain, discomfort, stress, and confusion. How did it happen? The inner you lost control because of external influences. The king got trapped under the influence of the external body, the image we can see that is uses to meet our sensual desires and lust for more power and money. The real you forgot your real identity and allowed the non-real you, ego, to run your life. The non-real you started making all the decisions, setting up wrong beliefs and creating pain for you and others. Let’s start a small journey to


understand the inner voices, or feelings…or God, within. Imagine the life of a world traveler. He or she travels all over the world to explore, meet new people, and experience a different life. Just like that person, you too are a traveler, but you are exploring your inner world. When you meet a new person or come across new thoughts or ideas, a new road or city or road arises. This process is endless; there is no end to your inner world. One new thought creates a new country, a new city. Once you understand the real essence of being you will get the real picture of you. I want you to understand the power and deep meaning of be in. Time and stillness require experiencing your inner world. Once


you have achieved that stillness, you will start hearing voices. Does that sound crazy to you? The fact is it is not crazy at all. It is the truth, and you have to experience yourself to experience the truth. Rain is wet. It is the truth but you cannot believe it until you touch it. The sun is hot but you cannot experience it until you go out of your air conditioned room and experience the sun’s rays.


Chapter 10
“God does not belong to a group or community or organization. God is no thing or things which we have created and started worshiping. Remember, exclusivity is an action of ego.”

After December 2008, I was looking for the answer to my question, “What is God?” I remember one early morning when I was still sleeping, I heard someone playing a flute in my ear, and I heard a voice saying, “Father.” I woke up and didn’t pay much attention to the flute sounds and the voice in my bedroom because it appeared that I had been dreaming. I


closed my eyes and started to focus on my inner voice. As I was quiet and still, I found the answers within. “Don’t look outside…Look inside.” God is within and cannot be created by a thought. Humans use their brains to think and create things such as computers, planes, cars, radios, the internet, phones, and satellites. But…can humans use their brains to create God?” This was a question that was huge and important, because if the answer turned out to be ‘yes’, then what is God? I began to search harder for answers. I looked around me to see what humans had created. What I found was that a son cannot be the father of his father; a generator cannot create a creator; a human can create a


statue of God, but not God himself. God cannot be created by a thought. Humans create things with thought processes. They think about what they want to create and then, through a process, create that thing. But God cannot be created by a thought process because thoughts come from human minds and God is not a physical entity. However, this still doesn’t answer the question, “What is God?” What I finally realized was that to find the answer to my question I’d have to find time for myself. Yes, time is stopping you from discovering who God is because you are wasting your time thinking about the past and future and forgetting to be still and listen for that inner voice.

Inner voice
The inner voice is what you hear


when go into that moment of deep silence inside yourself and become still. You hear voices, which will lead you to the right path. You may not like some of the voices because they bring out the truth. Deep inside, we all know what is wrong and right, good and bad. We just ignore this under the influence of ego, lust, possessiveness, anger and greed. You spend hours on the phone with your friends and family, but the thought of being alone with your own thoughts is completely foreign to you. Can you do this favor for yourself? Can you please spend at least 1530 minutes for yourself? Be still and go into a deep silence. Be with yourself and ask all the questions which you have been asking God while praying, and you will get the


answers you have been seeking. It may take a while to experience this, but remember…when you turn on the radio, you tune it to listen to a specific program. This is the same concept you need to apply within yourself, and in your life. You need to discover how to tune into that inner voice and hear the answers you are looking for. To experience two-way communication with God, you must spend time in inner silence. Prayer is one way of communication. You talk with God and then leave the church, temple or mosque. The problem is that life goes back to the same cycle as before, so you may well ask, “Is the inner voice really God?” Yes, God is within you, right there inside you. All you need to do is to start paying attention to the inner voices and


inner feelings. You can master your life once you start paying attention to your inner voices.

Inner Silence and Peace
You say you don’t know how to achieve the inner silence? There is a pre-step you must take before you can attain inner silence, which is stillness. Stillness speaks and brings out the truth. A human being does not naturally know how to become still, nor does he have ideas on the power of stillness. Stillness is a doorway by which you can experience your inner voice. Noise is an unwanted sound that everybody hates. There are moments when unwanted sounds turn into noise. It can be any sound that distracts you from going inside yourself; if any sound keeps you from concentrating it has


become noise. For instance, after a long chit chat with friends or family, you feel the need to pause for a few minutes or hours. This is the time for the body to rest, but your mind still has lots of thoughts whirling around. You may start thinking about that chit chat or looking at your phone to see if someone called you or worrying about why they didn’t. There are also moments when you just think that there is so much going on and so many things that you need to do that you can’t focus long enough to become still. You start noting down items in an organizer or document or on a piece of paper. You feel a little relaxed when you do that because you put the space in between your thinking processes. The speed and frequency of thoughts slows down during that activity.


Inner silence is that feeling you experience when you are still and the speed of your thoughts is slower. This is the moment when you have time for your mind and you are present in the current moment. You are not worried about the future or the avoidance of any thoughts related to the past. Stillness is essential to feel inner silence. Let us try the following to become still and experience inner silence. Look around you…observe the people or things around you. Look at the furniture, chair, fan, ceiling or road, if you are out and about. Find a place to sit, and once you sit down, look around again and slowly close your eyes. Breathe in … breathe out. Stay still.


Still means motionless. You don’t need to think, “I am not moving my body.” Just stay still in the present moment. I mean literally. Sit like a statue and just breathe in and out. Don’t think about why…just stay still. Stillness is a must. Close your eyes. Hear the inner voice in your head. Is that voice bringing something up, a past or future? If so then talk to that voice and find out what it is trying to tell you. What are you experiencing? The truth; you will experience the truth. Experience and practice again and again. Once you start filtering out the thoughts based on quality then you will feel lightness in your mind. And remember that practice makes perfect, so the more you do this the easier it will become for you. Talk to your thoughts...but


remember…handle with care. Don't push them away. Thoughts are like springs. You can push them down but they will bounce back with even more power. Check the quality of your thoughts. You will see all the dirty laundry of your life coming in. Analyze it and see how you can improve yourself. This is the voice of silence or stillness. Stillness is silence and silence speaks. Stillness leads to a state of mind where you see everything crystal clear. You know intuitively what to accept and what to reject. You know what is right and wrong. Inner silence brings peace and peace is a precious diamond. Imagine a world with all humans who have reached a point of inner peace. There wouldn’t be any war or fights over what is yours and mine.


The inner silence brings peace of mind and the strength to handle external noise. The voice of silence answers all of your questions. This is your life. Will you allow someone else to break your mind and life? Your mind is your personal property, and you have paid off this property. Don’t continue to pay mindless property taxes. The property taxes are your attachments to negative thoughts. You have full freedom not to pay those property taxes.


Chapter 11
The word “self” may bring a thought of ego into your mind, but we are not talking about being selfish or caring for other people. Self-love means loving yourself; enjoying your own company and the things that you do. It is very important to understand that if you don’t love your own company how can you expect someone else to love your company? Self-love is a very important key to having a successful relationship and peace of mind. Suppose you are in a relationship. You love to spend time with your partner. You love to talk about your partner with your family and friends. One day, you ask this question to


yourself. Why am I with my partner? And your answer to yourself is that you are in this relationship because you don't want to be single, and you don't like to spend your life alone. If that is really your answer, you may end up with another failed relationship because a relationship based on fear can never succeed. Start looking at things you do to see if you really are feeling joy doing those things. Try to find out how you feel with your own company, when you are alone. Do you always feel the need of another human to validate your worth in this World?


Chapter 12
I take no sorrow, I give no sorrow

People do change, and that is transformation. I will start this topic with the difference between change and transformation. You may have seen people saying to other people, “Why don’t you change? Change your life a little to bring yourself prosperity and happiness.” A long time ago somebody said this to me and I asked, “What do you want me to change? And why should I change?” I know I’m not perfect, but I have strong feelings and very strong beliefs. When things don’t work the way


you have planned and life is full of chaos, confusion and stress then decide to use your brain to troubleshoot life’s issues. That said people do not easily change. It is very difficult to change something created by this universe. You use knowledge to bring changes into your life. When change happens, when you really decide with strong determination and will power that you will be different…Transformation happens. Changing your beliefs based on new knowledge that is received from listening to your inner voice is Transformation. Transformation is the movement from the old beliefs to the new beliefs created by you based on knowledge received. Not on something anyone


told you or on what another person said. There always comes a phase in life where you are confused, stressed out and trying to find the reason behind all the complications that have arisen. All those times you blamed others and God didn’t work. You hear an inner voice which is pushing you to look for transformation, trying to help you. Before transformation, you were more focused on the past and the future. You were not able to let go of the past and you feared the future. The attachment to an old relationship kept coming back and jealousy and possessiveness kept causing problems in your relationships. You were judgmental and always trying to change others. You were stressing out and going through a cycle of pain, even


though you knew that you were not perfect, knew you had strong beliefs and felt you didn’t have an ego. Let’s talk about beliefs. You may have a few rules set up in your life, or maybe you just go with the flow, but still there are rules which define what’s wrong or right and good or bad. You set those rules based on lessons learned in life and maybe from other experiences. Your parents and teachers played an important role too. You saw your parents going to church, mosque or temple. You may have attended religious or spiritual meetings, and remember - what goes in stays in. All that information you heard or listened to is still there in one of the corners of your mind. Your elders may have told you that it’s good to go to church, temple or


mosque. It’s good to eat a certain food. It’s good to do this and bad to do that. All of which is based on their beliefs. You have heard it your whole life. You should wake up earlier; it’s not good to wake up so late. You should do it this way, not that way. Why do you keep doing that when I told you so many times that it’s wrong? Why can’t you listen to me when I know what’s best for you? Maybe you just want to know…who makes these decisions about what’s wrong and what’s right? True, we make rules to live a better life and avoid complications, but complications and stress are still there so we blame others for those complications to prove that our beliefs


were right. What is required for transformation? Acceptance, courage and willpower are required to transform your life. The confusion occurs when you see that those same strong beliefs which you have been so proud of are actually what are causing all the suffering. But the best part is you have already broken the negative attachment as soon as you realized that your beliefs are what caused all the suffering! This could happen to you in your 20’s or 40’s or 60’s, really any time during your life. Imagine that you have been constructing a building for the last 60 years and then something happens which proves that the whole foundation was laid wrong and is faulty.


You look back over the last 60 years and it is that feeling which creates the resistance to accept transformation. Let us say you have gathered enough courage and strong willpower, but then the next excuse will be time. People say “I want to do it, but I have no time.” There is no greater obstacle to an inner voice of God than time. Start spending time in your own company. Become still and stay still as long as you can. You will hear the voice of stillness in your head. Work with those voices and start bringing changes into your life. Analyze the quality of those voices. Are those voices bringing up any negativity? If so, go more deeply and see what is the real fear is.


It is possible. I did it so you can do it too. There are many others who have done this as well. My inner voice is saying at this moment, “What are you waiting for, more pain, stress or complications? And then you are going to finally do it… Don’t use time as an excuse. I want you to take a break after reading all of this. The next part is very important and a relaxed mind is very important to understand the meaning of meditation and cosmic energy. Close this book, Search for cosmic energy on YouTube and watch the video. Tip: It is important to stop reading if you begin to feel heaviness.


Chapter 13
The flowering of LOVE is meditation ~Jiddu Krishnamurti~

Meditation and Medication differ by one letter only. Medication intends to heal the body and Meditation to regain the original energy that runs your body, or your Soul. The original qualities are purity, peace, love, bliss and truth. Meditation helps us to understand the quality of our thoughts and then to bring our thoughts to an understanding. Meditation is a practice that enables us to explore our inner world.


Inner silence helps to achieve a profound state of mind for answers to all questions. There are different techniques for meditation. In this book, you will learn a meditation technique to help you feel cosmic energy. Mini meditation: Close your eyes, become still, breathe in, breathe out and repeat this a few times. You will feel relaxed and experience lightness because you have no thoughts when you are simply breathing.
Cosmic Energy

Cosmic energy exists everywhere in the cosmos. It is the bond between molecules, humans, and the galaxy. This bond keeps the cosmos in order. It is essential to maintain the order of life to expand our consciousness. Cosmic energy is the base of all our


actions and functions. In deep sleep, we receive small amounts of energy, and we use this energy to talk, walk, feel, think and sense. But this limited energy is not enough. That is why we feel exhausted, tired, tense, and stressed out. My personal experience: I used to feel so tired and exhausted. I was under the impression that maybe it was my diet, or that I was getting old. My life changed after my first interaction with cosmic energy. Cosmic energy is essential to maintain the order of our life to lead a healthy and happy life. Cosmic energy helps us recover from illness. The most important factor that distinguishes specialists in Cosmic Energy from others practices and


traditions is that they do not address just one aspect of illness; they treat the person as a whole, paying equal attention to the patient’s karma and inner being as well as the physical. Turn your attention away from the outside world, and slow down the speed of your thoughts. Close your eyes and become still. Stillness is crucial. You will come to a point where you feel the speed of thought is slowing down, and you are ready to experience lightness in your breathing and body. You may experience darkness because your eyes are closed and your mind is not ready yet to experience the divine power. Don’t open your eyes. Stay in that moment as long as you can. At one point, your arms may itch,


and you may feel vibrations on top of your head. You can try this in any position but initially, I would recommend sitting on a chair and in a silent place. Remember the steps: Close your eyes and become still. Breathe in and out a few times until you feel lightness in your breathing and body. Focus on your thoughts and slow down the speed. Don’t breathe heavily. Stay still. I am repeating this because I want you to understand the importance of this divine experience. Stay inward as long as you can and


practice as much as you can. There are people who devote days into months, and then months into years to experience this divine power. It is just a matter of intellect and passion. Try this with passion and a strong determination. A car needs gas, battery, or diesel to run. In the same way, we all need energy to run our costumes (the costume is our body). Imagine the scene when a car battery dies, and you use a jump start to start the car and then drive for a couple of hours to recharge the battery. In the same way, when we feel stressed out, tired and exhausted, we need to be recharged. Meditation can do this. I, myself lacked energy. My battery was dying and I didn’t know how to recharge my battery.


Pay close attention to my words. You must “experience” this. I want you to do it because it is free, and you can do it. You are the creator of your destiny, and you are already on your way to changing your destiny. But to do this you will need passion and strong intellect. Keep these two tools handy. I do this meditation every moment. Whenever something goes wrong or during any unexpected moment, I detach my mind out of this world and focus on cosmic energy. In a few minutes, I feel energy touching my head. I stay in that moment as long as I can. I come back and pay attention to any unexpected event.


I went out to buy a car. The salesman was talking to me about extra packages, etc. I was confused for a few minutes. I asked for a few minutes to think. I detached my mind from the external world and connected to the cosmic energy pool. I listened to my inner voice and made a decision. This is just one example. I do this with all of my decisions. Cosmic energy helps you to understand the difference between negative and positive thoughts. There are a few things that cannot be explained or put into words. Remember, you have to feel good and full of energy to enjoy your life so you have to experience this divine power to change your life and bring Transformation.


“It is time to be practical and understand that life is not only about those attachments which you have. Life is beyond that. You are here to add value in this world. You can enjoy your relationship with more love and affection as a detached observer because there won’t be any insecurity or fear of loss.”


Chapter 14
Elevated State of Mind
The Soul is immortal and eternal I want to talk about a few things before discussing terms like soul and bodiless or soul consciousness. Look at yourself in a mirror and ask this question, “Who am I?” You may have heard this question or statement many times, or asked yourself this question many time. I don’t want you to answer this. I want you to think about it. You are looking at that body but what is inside of that meat suit? A car cannot run without gas. Gas burns and produces energy to drive the


car. There is energy in that meat suit and that energy is soul. Soul has no name, no relationship, and no status. Energy is energy. Soul is in the body and the body has a name. “I am a peaceful and loving soul.” Soul Consciousness Consciousness is awareness of one’s own existence. Until now you were aware that you were a body, but now we are going beyond it. You are a soul and the person sitting next to you is a soul too. There is an elevated state called Soul Consciousness where you are not attached to your name and status. You are seeing yourself and other as souls. Ask a few questions of yourself:


Who needs more money? Who needs more status in society or more power? Who gets angry and then starts controlling others? Who is craving for a human body to fulfill sensual desires? The body is looking for all this. We all are trapped under body consciousness because of a lack of knowledge or awareness. I want you to use your brain and think about it. Please focus on the last few lines and find the real essence of these words. Once you come out of body consciousness then you will find yourself at in different mindset. Let’s discuss the vices attached to the body in order to understand body consciousness. You may wonder why we are discussing body consciousness when we were just talking about soul consciousness. The understanding of


vices attached to the body will create a path by which you can reach soul consciousness, and that path is letting go of vices. Lust Lust is the sword that cuts away at your happiness. The lust for power and the lust for human interaction both result in stress, complications and pain. Lust outside a relationship can end all intimacy within the relationship and further result in stress and pain. Lust for power leads one to make wrong decisions, often hurting others in the process. Are you looking for more and more in your life? Are you unsatisfied with your current status, bank balance, car,


house, job, and salary? Do you want to become rich, to become famous to get more attention? Are you unhappy with the way your partner looks and have a craving to fulfill sensual desires? These kinds of feelings lead to impure thoughts and a passion for the wrong things in life. Stealing, gambling, cheating and possessing more after creating sorrow and pain for others are examples we can see in everyday life. What do you listen to when you turn on the news? One country is dropping bombs on another country. This is lust for power. Lust is craving, more and more power or anything which is not under your control, and can result in creating sorrow and pain for others. Peace does not come from dropping bombs. Imagine a world with human beings not trapped under any


form of lust and instead they are all conscious. Greed Desire for wealth or possession is greed. It is human nature to follow short cuts to make money. Dominating others, telling lies, cheating and not sticking to your word so that you can make easy money leads to creating sorrow and pain for others. You have $100 now, you want $10,000 then $100,000; you are greedy and continually want more. This loop breaks when you lose everything or end up without a close relationship and at that point you realize how you were trapped under greed. Possessiveness You can put a bird in a cage, but you cannot do the same for a human.


Have you seen termites attack wood? Possessiveness makes us jealously opposed to the personal independence of our partners and this eats away at a relationship the way a termite attacks wood. Maybe we don’t realize that we are possessive and controlling others because it has become second nature. We try to impose our beliefs on our partner and we try to prove that he or she is wrong, and not us. Are you always worried where he or she is? Are you always looking for an opportunity to track him or her down to see what they are doing? You may call it over protection, but it’s really possessive and controlling behavior. It is normal to be over-protective of kids, but not for normal adults. Give your partner space and


respect each other’s privacy. Awareness of possessive behavior is a challenge and you will need to analyze your thoughts and actions continually if you suffer from this vice. Don’t resist you inner voice or feelings because you think they are negative or contrary to what you want to do. Analyze them and use your brain to discover why those thoughts are there in the first place. True love does not come with possessiveness. Anger This brings negativity, stress and pain. Imagine a highly secure building. There is security everywhere. In our life, anger is the guard of all vices. Anger guards Ego, Lust, Greed and Possessiveness. The definition of trigger is:


“anything, as an act or event that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.”(1) Are you using anger as a trigger? The soul’s original quality is love. If you are using anger as a tool to get work done then you are creating a negative environment. Initially, you may not be aware of what you are doing. For example: You are at work. If you allow yourself to be angry, you won’t be able to do quality work and your morale will be low if you are using anger as a tool to get work done. Look closely at your life. You get angry because your children are not behaving, as you want them to. Anger originates because of expectations and beliefs. Suppose you planned an event,


and you have high expectations that people will come to the event but no one showed up. You get mad inside which brings frustration, stress and negative energy. You expected and assumed, because you thought that it would be a successful event. This is human nature; we take out our frustrations on others. The reaction is uncontrolled and your response comes from lack of patience and thinking. Practice Soul Consciousness Soul Consciousness is the key for a blissful life. When you are in this state of awareness, that you are a soul and the people around you are also souls, you have entered into soul


consciousness. Remembering this is the challenge. You have to remember every moment that life is a drama, and you are a peaceful soul playing your part in this world. In other words, the person thinks, feels, acts, behaves, etc., with the awareness that he or she is a soul, the master of their body. When in soul-consciousness, the original qualities of the soul naturally emerge. Then it is possible to experience lasting peace and bliss. A detached observer is sitting in silence and enjoying life’s drama rather than being sucked into the chaos. Go out and see others as souls. Look into a mirror and consider your identity as a tiny point of energy, don’t forget to say, “I am a peaceful and pure soul” Say it aloud and see how it feels.


Chapter 15
Remembrance of your true nature is freedom from ignorance. Ignorance results in suffering and pain. Remembrance is a challenge.

We accept only pure water. We are highly sensitive about whether a glass of water is clean or not. Have you ever thought about the quality of your thoughts? Thoughts of negativity, jealousy, anger, ego, greed, controlling others are all running our lives, and reside in our body and mind. Just as we use a water filter to clean our water, so we can use spiritual knowledge, strong intellect and silence to filter out impure


thoughts. Remember, pure thoughts result in pure actions. If you know how to control your thoughts and filter thoughts based on quality, then your actions will be pure. Pure means something which you really mean or truth. Kids are the best example of purity. I called my daughter and she said, “Dad, I am eating my cookie, so I will talk to you later.” She was enjoying her present moment, so she asked me to call her back. It’s not like she thought, “Let me talk to him for a few minutes so that he might feel good.” Purity is something that you feel from the heart. You follow your heart and make decisions based on those pure thoughts and you use strong intellect and avoid mind games. Practice makes perfect.


If a negative thought comes in, and you know it will create sorrow and pain for someone, then filter it out. If you keep practicing this, then you will see that the frequency of negative thoughts slows down or ceases to exist. The challenge is how to begin this process. Here is an example to understand what is happening in our life. Imagine a football stadium and two teams, Team A and Team B. The stadium is your MIND. Team A is Impressions (Players: Habits, Memories, Beliefs, and Instincts). Team B is Intellect (Players: Willpower, Strong determination). There is always a game going on inside the field of your mind. Team A, which is our past, is always winning the


game. Team B is not getting any playtime because it’s not getting any support. Who is going to support Team B to win the game of joy, peace, purity, love and bliss? You, and only you, can support Team B by focusing on positive thoughts, and spending more time in stillness, practicing soul consciousness. Account Settlement Our soul has the debt of previous births so whenever you face a loss or any sorrow or get hurt by someone, then feel happy as you have settled an old account with another soul. Don't react; act. If you react then you are opening a New Account with that soul which will require another settlement in the future.


The World's population is around six billion. You may know 100 or 1000 people out of six billion, which means there was a connection between your soul and those other souls. Our life and the other lives we connect with will be very easy if we start using this knowledge during our day to day interactions with friends, family and strangers. Practice makes perfect so start using this knowledge and see how your life transforms. Start using this knowledge of Account Settlement to handle your karmic accounts and relationships. Thought results in actions, so if your thoughts are pure, you are creating a positive future for you and others. Self-Sovereignty The dictionary defines sovereignty


as, “supreme power, especially over a body politic or freedom from external control.”(1) Self-Sovereignty is the state of mind you achieve when you are the 100% owner of your thoughts. You have the strength, knowledge and wisdom to detach yourself from wasteful and negative thoughts. Check your quality of thought. Is it related to the past? If so, then learn your lesson and dump that thought immediately and move on with the present. Does your thought belong to the future? If so, don’t spend too much time on it, as it is not worth wasting time on an illusion. It is not very difficult to reach this stage, but it does require effort.


Imagine you are going to church on Sunday. To reach the church you have to get ready and then drive there. You need to know the address and directions to drive to the church. While driving, you have full control of the steering wheel. In this case, the car is your body and the mind is the steering wheel. You just need awareness of the strength you are carrying within to control your thoughts. Knowledge and Wisdom, respectively, are the address and direction to reach the final stage. To reach the Self-Sovereignty state you need to focus on your tremendous energy and your intellect (strong determination and will-power). Here are the steps you need to take to reach this state of mind:


Focus your attention on your physical identity, your body, and understand that this is not your real identity. You are a peaceful and pure soul. Use your knowledge of soul consciousness to elevate your thoughts; and Start becoming pure in your actions, which are a challenge and final destination.

I am the creator of my destiny. I am the real me. I know ego will always try to rear its ugly head, but now I am not alone. I am carrying the strong spiritual knowledge to recognize ego and let it go before it starts playing with my mind, my relationships and my actions.

I have awareness of the quality of thoughts, and now I can filter out wrong thoughts based on quality.


Silent Watcher I am here. Can you listen to me? I am talking to you. Hello? Where are you? Knock, knock... This is the voice inside you trying its best to wake you up to calm the fire caused by the past and future. The fire that is causing stress, worry, confusion and discomfort in your life. The mind is making too much noise, and you are trapped under the illusion, so you cannot realize your real identity. The Silent Watcher is a state of mind where you can watch and hear that innocent voice which is requesting to help you. This voice is always dominated by external and internal noise.


The internal noise is noise caused by jealousy, insecurity, ego, controlling others, possessiveness and lust. Your innocent voice is trying to make itself known to you, but the greater power of your internal noise is silencing it because of your desires. Weak Intellect is a strong instrument for internal noise. Strong intellect is an instrument for the Innocent Voice. Become a Silent watcher. Listen to the Innocent Voice and use strong intellect to understand and control Ego, greed, lust, and anger.


Chapter 16
You and Spiritual Power
There are two births in the same life… physical and spiritual. You break the bondage (psychologically) with the physical attributes of your life (detached state of mind), and try to find real purpose for your existence in Being not Doing.

This is the new you with spiritual knowledge and a new life with clear understanding that you are a Spiritual being and you are in this world to add value. My life would be different if I had all this knowledge a few years ago. I want you to remember the key for a successful relationship, which is self-love. Do not forget about self-love which we discussed earlier in this book.


It is very important to love yourself and your own company before jumping into a relationship. I receive many questions on relationship and love. I didn’t know that most of us are having trouble in our relationships until many people told me this. Relationships and love are supposed to be the most beautiful parts of our lives, but unfortunately they are the most confusing and complicated. Once you start using spiritual knowledge in your daily life you will see that you possess an extraordinary strength to make everything that was difficult before you had this knowledge. You will use the spiritual power within you to handle your professional


and personal life. People will come to you and ask about the secret you are using to spread love and peace. Let us talk about the most beautiful but complicated part of human life. Pure Love These 4 letters have a tremendous amount of energy. Imagine an ocean and all the divers who jump into that ocean. Love: Ocean Diver: You and I. In this part of the book, I am going to focus on pure love and your relationship with your partner. I remember comments received during my discussions on pure love. Does pure Love mean true Love or first Love or


unconditional Love? Let us work together to find the answer. You are in true love. You are ready to do anything for your partner. You accept him or her as he or she is. No mind games are involved in this love because true love is way beyond the mind. The fact is that there are very few people who get this love because the human mind is so involved in give and take, and especially when you have lost your first love. Based on my experience your first love is a true love. I was intoxicated in my first love. She was everything to me, and I was ready to do anything for her. As for my analysis, there is a type A and type B. Type A is your first love. Type B is love based on attachments and feelings.


I am sharing all this with you to give you an idea that you are not alone going through the loss of a first love. In the past few months I found hundreds of others going through the same pain. The point I want to make is there is still hope. Pure love is based on purity, a relationship which is not based on fear, loneliness or insecurity. Ego says, “I want to have a relationship with the most beautiful woman or the most handsome guy.” Greed says, “I want to have a rich partner.” Lust says, “I want to have a hot and sexy partner in my life.” Pure says, “I love you and accept you as you are.”


It does not mean that you make a few changes in your life, and then I will accept you. Based on my experience, relationships start with your family and then extend to some special friends. I categorized love into two major categories: Category 1: Love for family Category 2: Love for your special friend, future partner or spouse Generally, category 1 is not complicated. Sometimes we take this for granted. Like a general statement, “Yes, I love my Mom and everybody in my family.” Category 2 is the most complicated love if you are not with the right one. For example, if you have a pure love, and she does not, then you may end up with a lot of complications.


Before we move any further, I would like you to understand the difference between love and lust and the exact meaning of pure love. Maybe you wonder why we are discussing lust in the same chapter as love. We are discussing lust with love because it’s important to understand that love is not pleasure. Lust is intense sexual desire or appetite. It brings controlling, possessiveness, negativity, impurity, stress, complications and wrong actions, which can lead to creating sorrow and pain for others. With lust, you say, “I want to see him or her so badly. I want someone to play with me, or I need someone to play with... I’m craving it...” But with love you experience a profoundly tender, passionate affection


for another person. You say, “I am in love. I love to touch my partner. I feel oneness when he or she is with me. I feel purity when we are together. I don't look at him or her as a hungry beast to fulfill desires. I feel that two bodies are merged together and have become one.” Lust is not love... lust is the enemy of love. Pause for a second. I am talking about pure love, like the love you have for your mother. You have pure love for your mother, and when you look at her, you are not expecting anything back. Your mother hugs you and gives you unlimited love without any expectations. If you have never thought about it then think now and try to feel that pure love again. Go and ask your mother all the questions you have on


pure love. Pure love is truth. Someone asked me this question: How can I enjoy my relationship with my partner? If you want to enjoy your relationship with your special one then, please keep these five tools handy: 1) Patience 2) Trust 3) Freedom 4) Honesty 5) Respect Patience It is very important to understand the power of words. Sometimes you say something which you really did not mean, but words are like seeds that


when planted, grow. Remember, whatever goes in stays in. Words are the seeds planted in your mind and your thinking process is like the fertilizer for those words, allowing them to grow into large thoughts. Suppose you had a bad day at work, and you come home and look at your partner. You see something which you don’t like, but you did like it before. Frustration from work and the stress of the whole day come into the picture, and you say something unkind to your partner which causes a fight. You end up feeling sorry for your actions and attempt to mollify your partner with the statement “I’m sorry, I had a bad day at work.” Your partner understands the situation so he or she just lets it go. After a few weeks or months, you have another fight. You


say something in anger, and… now check this out…that something has a few of the words which you had used in your previous fight. Here we go; those old seeds have already turned into a big plant in his or her mind, and you are throwing around more fertilizer. This time it won’t be as easy to calm the situation down. The same applies at your work, with friends or other karmic relationships. We gossip and, gossiping involves misuse of words. It’s like a gross drink. Don’t drink it. Avoid gossiping. Gossip brings out secrets and other information which others don’t need to know, and creates sorrow and pain for you and others. If you cannot keep information confidential, then how can you expect


someone outside of you to keep that information confidential? “Learn to keep your tongue behind the jail bars of your teeth.” Trust Don’t lose your trust. If you trust your love, then you will trust your partner’s love too. There is no love without trust. Good communication can avoid the possibilities of trust issues. Freedom Have your space and give space to your partner. As we discussed earlier in this book, possessiveness is destroying your relationship like termites attack wood. Remember, honesty is always the best policy. Be Honest in your relationship. Believe in pure talk and don’t play with


anyone’s emotions. Don’t lie about your feelings and respect your partner’s thoughts and space. The worst thing you can do in love is judge your partner. Love is more giving than taking. Come out of your selfish mindset. If you love others with pure feelings, you should get the same in return, but you must love them without any expectations. Don’t try to convince them of your love, as it will raise doubts and questions. Let your partner feel your pure love. Do your karma without the expectations of fruit. As we discussed earlier, selfish expectations bring disappointments. Focus on oneness. Keep saying, “We are one.” True love is the best example of oneness. Two souls merge in pure and unconditional love with no


judgments, expectations or disappointments. Knowledge about oneness can change your relationships miraculously. If you "really" want to be with your partner then start accepting everything as it is because that is you. You are him or her because both of you are one. The question: what is pure love? The answer is, “I love you or I don’t love you.” A glass of water is not clean so then you say I don’t want to drink it. Or if water is clean then you say, “I want to drink it.” Yes, pure love is this simple because it is pure. Pure is truth.


Chapter 17
Relationship and Ego
Ego creates drama in relationships or friendships so that you can get the feeling that you exists there. Otherwise everything starts feeling dull and boring. It won't be long before you find that ship sinking because of the drama and ego needs weighing it down.

I talked about ego earlier in this book, but I didn’t spend much time on relationship and ego. It is very important to remember and be aware of the existence of ego. Relationships are meant to be the most beautiful part of human life, but unfortunately, it is the most complicated one. In one word, the


reason is ego. Most of the time, we are not aware that ego is there eating away at our relationships. “For God Sake... Can you stop with this nonsense? Can you stop doubting me? Can you stop blaming me for everything? Will you please give me my space? Please let me breathe! Sometimes, it feels as if I am stuck in a cage.” Is this your story? Do you really think this is love? Humans need attention. They need to feel special, and they need someone else to help them to understand how important they are in this world. Sometimes we have ego but we don't know it, or maybe we don't know the different forms of ego. Human ego wants a relationship.


Do you feel over protective about your partner? Over protection is a nice excuse to hide possessiveness behind. You may be thinking, “What is he talking about? I love my partner.” If you do, then why are there so many complications? Are you in a relationship to feed your ego? Or are you in one because you truly love your partner? What do you mean "feed your Ego?" Using your new knowledge of ego, you should be able to determine intellectually what your reason is for being in a relationship. I love yes or no questions, so I decided to include a few questions for you to answer. I Do you know the difference between being lonely and single? Are


you in a relationship because you don't want to be single? Yes: You have the answers to all of your questions, and perhaps your relationship is based on fear. No: We can move on to the next question II Are you judging your partner?

No: Very nice. Yes: Why? Don't you like your partner? If you don’t like your partner, why are you in a relationship? III Do you have the strength to accept your partner as he or she is? Yes: Good. Happy Married life! No: It is time to spend more time in your own company to find out what


exactly it is that you want from a relationship. IV Do you doubt and feel insecure about your partner? No: Good. Yes: Why? Is there a trust or compatibility issue? She or he is an extrovert, and you are an introvert or vice versa. Here is the conclusion: Clean your own house first before you point your finger at somebody else’s house. EGO: Eat and Go...Eat and digest your ego for always and then jump on the ship. You may ask, “What if I’m already on the ship with ego?


Clear communication on the issues helps a lot. There are cases when partners are not communicating at the same frequency. He or she is trying to say something, but you don’t want to listen or you don’t like whatever he or she is saying or you only hear that part which you want to hear. For example: You find a missed call on the phone from to someone you really don’t like and who you had asked your partner not talk to (because you were jealous?). So you confront your partner in an accusatory fashion about talking to this person, hoping to catch him out in a lie. Your partner says, “I was not talking to him or her. I never said anything to him or her. She called.” You wanted to hear the word call,


and here you go. You start making a huge deal of “calling.” Ego leads you to a decision about how your partner should have answered and what you think should have happened. You think, “I told him to stop talking with that person.” Your ego has determined that only you know the right of the situation and that your partner failed to do what you had told him to do. As we have discussed already freedom is very important in your relationship. You can use this knowledge to analyze your situation, and you can see who is running your ship. Is that the real you or ego? You won’t be able to survive with ego captaining the ship. Your ship is going to sink sooner or later. Self-love is very important to save that ship. If you


really want love, then first love yourself and let go of your ego. Ego and Past relationships As I said earlier, the ego exists in various forms. Depending upon your state of mind, you miss your past because you loved him or her lot, or, on the other side, you are angry or feel hurt by the way it turned out. Ask yourself a question, why did you need that person in the first place? You wanted a relationship to experience love and attention. Who needed this love and attention, real you or your EGO? If it is the real you, then you have it already in you, but you are looking forward to satisfying your desires in the wrong place. You do not want to be


lonely and single so you go for a relationship. After some time, you start judging your partner and look for a change. That’s not really you; it’s your ego. I get this question all the time, “I am not able to let go of my past. Why?” You are still stuck in the past because your ego feels hurt. Ego asks how he or she could leave me. Many times we are not aware of this because we think it is love for that person and that is why it is so hard to forget him or her. We carry that pain and then we jump into a new relationship with that pain. I would suggest spending some time alone before you jump into a new relationship to figure out what you really want from a relationship.


Chapter 18
Why do we expect anything in return? I give you love but you have to love me back. But, is that really love? No, its business; give and take is business, not love. I am love and when you merge with me you are love too. "I am love" comes when you are not trapped under a mountain of sensual desires/lust and ego. Ego wants more and more and when Ego does not get what it wants, then anger comes in.

Spiritual knowledge realigns your sense of self with something you may not have ever imagined was within you. Using your knowledge at the right time and at the right place is wisdom. For example, the knowledge you acquire at school. When we are in school we study


a lot of books then show up for the exam to validate our knowledge. Thus we gain wisdom because we have used our knowledge at the right time and place. Nobody can hurt you; nobody. We allow people to hurt us. Our ego comes in when we feel hurt; informing us that somebody has hurt or insulted us. A few months ago I was attending a social event. Sometimes I read people. A friend of a friend showed up, and we met for the first time. We had a good time and after four to five hours I began to feel a lot of negative energy. After a few weeks we met again. She asked me to read her but I said no, as I did not want to lie because I knew that she would not like what I would have to say. After some time I finally did read


her, and, as I expected, she started yelling at me. I kept quiet, just listening to her and smiling at her. It was a very good test of spiritual knowledge. She kept yelling for about ten minutes, and I still remember those ten minutes vividly because that was my exam to test my knowledge. I felt that she was yelling because I told the truth. I was looking at her forehead and considering this, I, as soul, must have done something wrong with this soul in one of my previous births so now her soul is settling that old account with me, so I kept quiet. Thought creates destiny. If I were to react I would be creating issues between my friend and her. I was quiet as I had this remembrance in my mind that I am a soul and this whole thing was


simply drama. After the incident, my friend asked: “Aren’t you hurt? She was yelling at you, and you kept smiling.” I said, “That’s the non-real her trying to talk to the non-real me, which does not exist.” Detached Observer The lotus flower grows in muddy water and rises above the surface to bloom with remarkable beauty. At night the flower closes and sinks underwater. At dawn, it rises and opens again. The lotus symbolizes the purity of heart and mind. “I am sharing my beauty and love with you. I want nothing from you. It is okay if you don’t want to look at me because my beauty comes with mud. I


am detached from illusion and all vices. I love me the way I am and love you the way you are. I have no expectations. I have no desires. I am the real me.” The lotus is a detached observer. The lotus is sharing its beauty with the whole world but has no attachment to anybody or anything. During my discussions on this topic, people did not like the word “detach.” Being the detached observer does not mean that you are not allowed to have attachments. Handle your karmic relationships as detached as the lotus, share your pure love and knowledge and don’t create sorrow for anyone. When one is detached, one is not affected by worldly conditions like suffering and pain, happiness or sadness. These are all worldly


states of mind. I am hurt, and my mind can give you hundreds of examples of being hurt, but who is really hurt? Is it the real you or ego. Ego is hurt because the real you is full of love and knows that no one can hurt you if you don’t allow them to. The detached observer in a relationship gives pure love to their partner and does not become possessive. (This is the detached state). The Universal laws are; up and down, good and bad, happy and sad, day and night, winter and summer, attachment and detachment. Think about your life. Be practical and focus on things with which you are really attached, a car, your cell phone, your pet (dog or cat or...), your friends, your family, your girlfriend or


boyfriend, your wife or husband, your kids. Take a moment and detach yourself from those attachments. How does it feel when you detached yourself from those attachments? Answer 1: If the feeling you experienced is wonderful then; Case 1: {you cheated yourself, which means you did not go into a deep dive to feel the detachment} Or; Case 2: {you did not feel the need to experience this because you are underestimating the Universal law}. Or; Case 3: {you have a very strong intellect}. Answer 2: If the feeling is horrified or


full of sorrow, it means there is some work to do. The work is not to get detached from that attachment. It is time to be practical and understand that life is not only about those attachments which you have. Life is beyond that. You are here to add value in this world. You can enjoy your relationship with more love and affection as a detached observer because there won’t be any insecurity or fear of loss.


Chapter 19
Power of P’s
The powers of: present, purity and peace (inner peace). Your understanding of these three powers can change your whole life. Present: live in the present, one day at a time. I want the strength and knowledge to live my life in the present moment, and not just each day. The present moment for me is while writing this book. Your present moment is now while you are reading this book. If you are reading this note with 100% presence here, then you have no problems in your life at this moment (very deep meaning, please read it again).


Purity: pure thoughts bring pure actions which bring pure results. No complications at all. Glamour and illusion in life bring complications. Ego, Anger, Greed, Possessiveness and Lust are creating strong resistance in becoming the happiest person in this world. Peace: I am referring to Peace of Mind, or Inner Peace. Don’t let your mind play with your life, relationships or another’s life either. How do you live in the present? A few years ago I came to understand this statement, “Start living in the present, one day at a time.” It raised a few questions in my mind. If we start living in the present then who is going to think about the future? Do we need to plan for the future and how can we


start living in the present? It is impossible. Since then I have found the profound meaning of that statement. I asked my inner voice this question and I received an answer. The present is a gift so start opening the package to find out what you have. This is completely a state of mind. Literally, start imagining this. At this moment, you are reading this book and this moment is a gift. You are reading these words and who knows you may have found the real you right now. You may find something you never imagined in your life. Let us say you don’t find anything special in this book, and then imagine yourself walking


down a street and you end up meeting an old friend or you may find your first love. This is only possible if your mind is 100% with you in the present moment. You may cross that person without paying attention if the horses of your mind are chasing a dream related to the future. This is not rocket science. It is just the matter of remembrance that you have only this moment. Everything is an illusion as soon as you step out of the current moment.


Chapter 20
Heal Your Heart
Time to Surrender... It’s time now...Surrender your fears. (Fear of being lonely, fear of rejection or any other fear which you have) Surrender is giving up, so give up all your fears and see how life turns in your favor.

Rob, one of my friends called and started discussing his pain stories. He was blaming his past for everything. What was his story? He was hurt because his last relationship didn’t work out. His exfriend left him because he didn’t pay attention to her words, because he thought she really loved him. He then started dating her friend as soon as she left but things got


complicated, as he was not ready yet for another relationship. Now he is feeling lonely and confused so he decided to find out what is going on in his life. “Why,” he asked, “is God playing with me like this?" My only response was, “Huh.” After a few minutes he asked, “Why do you keep using the word ‘huh’?” The word ‘Huh’ communicates confused responses usually. My friend asked, “Why are you confused after listening to all this?” I said I wasn’t. Then I explained that I see the word huh as meaning: Heal Ur Heart. Please don't jump from one tree to another like a monkey, the word tree representing relationships here. Heal your heart and try to find out why you


need or want a relationship in the first place. Do you really know what you want from a relationship? Start spending some time with yourself and see if you enjoy it or not. If you don't then it means you have some homework to do before you jump into a relationship. Find things which give you a real feeling for joy and happiness. Don't put conditions on your happiness. Don't let your mind play around with you, “I need someone to touch me, I want someone to…whatever.” If you cannot enjoy your own company, then how will someone else enjoy your company? Hug good-bye A couple’s fight is going on, and


they are blaming each other. You did this to me, and, I told you don't do that. You lie to me. I am hurt and after few days, the same scenario occurs with this time, a big explosion from both sides. I am tired of this. I don't want all this in my life. I need a change. I am done.....but, nothing happens, so the relationship is still going on. After a few days, one of them decided to break up and move on. Do not forget to say a big thank you when he or she comes to you to say it is all over, and they are done. You may try to stop this, but if you think that there is no true love, don’t try to stop it because of a fear of getting hurt or finding a new partner or loneliness. That is a precious gift that he or she is giving you. Accept the gift


and let the drama go. LOL No, it is not laughing out loud. It is the Luggage of Life which you are carrying with you. Luggage is full of beliefs loaded by someone else or maybe by you. It is time to reduce the load or get rid of the luggage. We have almost finished this book, and it is very important to remind you of what we have already discussed. Your luggage of beliefs, impressions, old habits and lifestyle are creating sorrow and pain for others. You saw your parents doing things or following a few rules, and you are carrying on those rules and impressions with you. Please let go of that luggage, otherwise people out there will start


laughing out loud after looking at the situation which you have created because of your beliefs, which were really created by someone else. Let the transformation happen. This is only possible when you start working with your present moment, and you are ready to break the cycle of pain.


“Pain and confusion force us to find what's missing in life...why life is so complicated. Life is complicated because of shallow beliefs which are created by someone else and we are following it.”


When I was in the 11th grade, I loved organic chemistry, math and physics. At school, my teacher gave me four physics problems to solve. He shared four formulas to use for solving the problems. It was my first day of school, so I did not care. The next day, he asked me what progress I had made, and I told him the truth, that I had not worked on the problems. It continued that way for a few days. I had the feeling though, that he really wanted me to work on it. One day, I started working on those problems. I did research on the formulas and problems. After two days, I solved all the problems and asked my teacher to


verify that they were correct. He said, “I could have helped you on the second day, but I wanted you to learn the concept of self-study, as it will help you for the rest of your life. This is so true. I came to know about 100 other formulas while working on those four problems. The same applies to Spirituality. You watch videos, listen to others, read books or notes, etc., but you have to do the self-analysis to understand the real and deep meaning of spiritual words. This is real because this is your life, and it is the only one, so do something about it. Try to find the root cause of all the problems instead of spending negative energy on them. The past is just that; the past. Learn your lesson and move on. Understand the power of


Words, Thoughts, Inner Silence, Pure Love, “Being,” and Soul Consciousness. Do you want a fast healing? If so then start helping others. Help them to understand their purpose in this world. Help them in anything which they can use that allows them to add value to this world. How does it feel when you help a blind person to cross the road? How does it feel when you buy food for a homeless person? Real blessings bring fast healing, inspiration and strength. Imagine you are driving alone or with a partner in a new country or area. You are exploring the new area, meeting new people. You may stop at some place and share your stories or hear someone's stories.


You may learn something new too. It is time to explore your inner world to understand what it is that you want in this world, and what you can give to this world before you say goodbye to your family. Family is humanity. It is never too late to: 1) Determine Relax your mind and think about your life. Look back, as you learn your lessons and make a conclusive decision to bring good changes into your life. No more decisions based on fear. 2) Set a goal for your life I still remember the day when I was in high school and there was a discussion on “aim.” The teacher asked us to come up with our goal


in this life. I did not know the meaning of “aim.” I asked my mother, and she helped me to understand. It is very important to have an aim in life to make the journey meaningful; otherwise it will be like driving on a road with no idea of the ultimate destination. You may find yourself driving in a circle the whole time. 3) Open your heart See what is in there. I cannot look inside your heart. I cannot see what it really is you want, and what you want to give to others. Stop putting restrictions on your life. Become abundant and start sharing with others. 4) Re-think


Think again before using the power of words. You can use a knife to kill someone, or you can use it to cut and eat an apple. Think again about the decisions you are making and try to see if they are based on any fear. 5) Rebuild If true love is coming back home, which it always does, then do not let your mind play with that priceless moment. The mind will say, “How can I accept her or him? Or maybe she or he was with so many people in a way I would not be, or did so and so to me, etc.” If there is no feeling of guilt or no fear from both sides, then focus and rebuild. You might be a CEO or an actor or a rich person, but you cannot buy happiness, health and love with money or your status.


6) Restart An old manuscript or project has been sitting there for the last several years and every day you are looking at it. Don’t just look at it after reading these words, take action and start writing or working on the project again. An idea to transform your life has occurred, but somehow you have put the pause on the Transformation. Start that engine again with new oil, battery and gasoline. An old friend is calling you to restart a friendship. Do it if there is love and forget about ego. 7) Focus Focus on your Aim, Goals and Prosperity. Focus on Positive


Thoughts. Focus on helping others. Don’t spend energy on lack or negativity. 8) Give Love It is only possible when you love yourself, love the things you do, and love your own company. A point in time will come when you will become overflowing with love and start giving to others without any expectations of getting anything back. 9) Start living in the Present It is very important to live in the Present. I am sure that now you have an idea how to meet this challenge. 10) Forgive


Please forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have made in the past. Forgive your partner for all the mistakes he or she makes. Forgive your mother if you think she was not a good mother. Forgive your father if he was not the father you needed. Forgive your brother or sister in case you are still holding any anger against them. Forgive your friends for all their comments. Forgive that stranger who is giving you a bad look or honking the horn at you because you are driving slowly. Forgive others who are cursing or abusing around you. Why? Because the power of forgiving is the same as the word…it is ‘For Giving’. So give it away. Hug that friend, partner, ex-wife, ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend


or anybody who has made mistakes on this journey and created sorrow for you. Accept your mistakes and forgive yourself too because forgiving is for giving. Feel the love and positive energy coming out when you are able to hug. 11) Accept Start accepting your present moment and work with it, not against it. 12) Let go Do not carry pain caused by your past for your whole life. Focus on your feelings, believe in love and the power of forgiving. Let go of ego and negative thoughts.


“You can live a life without creating sorrow for you and others. It’s a simple but profound statement. If you start watching your actions by paying attention to the quality of your thoughts then you can transform your life without depending on an authority.”


Will You Help?
Will you take few moments to help promote Transformation? Please share Transformation with others. Your words about Transformation will help someone in this world. My daughter and I have started a campaign to sponsor poor children. We want to share this with you, so join hands with us by sharing this book as a present for friends and loved ones at every opportunity. Sharing is caring, and caring comes from love. You can reach me through my website www.neerajsabharwal.com


About the Author
Neeraj Sabharwal is the author of Transformation. He explores issues of life with spiritual knowledge and shares cosmic interactions that he receives while in meditation. Mr. Sabharwal is helping others to experience the same kind of cosmic interactions. A nonfiction book based on real life experiences is offered with Our Life Transformation. Raised in Chandigarh, India, Sabharwal now resides in Reston, Virginia. He has a BS in Technology with a major in Mechanical Engineering. He is currently working as an IT professional, meditating and spending time with his daughter. Sabharwal has launched a


campaign to sponsor children for their basic needs and education through World Vision. Profits from book sales are already going to this campaign for children in areas of great need. He is working as a Spiritual Coach on a one to one basis to help others raise human consciousness. www.neerajsabharwal.com www.powerofstillness.org


Works cited

1. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mind?s=t

2. http://www.loni.ucla.edu/About_Loni/education/brai n_trivia.shtml


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