Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

Gays, lesbians, marriage and children? Will this be beneficial for society? Jesus Machado University of Texas at El Paso

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children? Abstract

Homosexuality has been around for the past centuries. Yet, it has been in recent years, were homosexuals are gaining their rights and equality. Approximately, in the 1990s gay rights began to rise. During the year 2000 the situation erupted attracting the attention of many people. Ever since, several artists, athletes and celebrities have openly declared to be homosexual. Now, that gay marriage is being legalized they want to adopt children. The debate now is if homosexual adoption is beneficial or not? Every community has a different opinion of this case. For example the social workers, have a divided opinion of this. Many say its good and others say its bad. There is also the Catholic Churchs point of view which overall expresses a negative effect of gay adoption. Although the education system was established to help out students and parents, many homosexual families have been affected because the staff has failed to provide equality amongst heterosexual and homosexual families (in some cases). On the other hand, there are organizations and people who support gay adoption. These communities, who support gay adoption, argue that gay parents are more united and tend to participate equally in the raising of their family. To the childrens point of view, its about having parents or to stay in foster homes. In the end, there are only two solutions, either to support gay adoption or to prohibit it.

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

Between the 1970s and the beginning of 2000, homosexual adoption has been involved in the major controversy which questions: is having homosexual parents influence in the childs sexual identity? This report will discuss the points of view of several community groups as well as the pros and cons homosexuals face and the effects of gay parenting on children. In this case, gay adoption, the controversy surrounds multiple points of view such as the social workers, the Catholic Church, the education system and the homosexual couples point of view. In the 1970s people such as older couples, people with illnesses, couples with biological children would not qualify to adopt. Homosexual people that openly declared their sexuality were not even considered for adoption. According to Laura Montana (2009) Nothing really changed until the late 1970s when adoption laws began to be challenged. Most cases were and still are second-parent adoptions, in which the biological parent is gay and their life partner petitions to adopt. (par.5). Now a day, the state of Florida argues that gay adoption is not the best interest of the children, therefore Florida has denied the privilege of adoption to homosexuals. From the 1970s and on, in some places, gay adoption has had positive changes as false beliefs and theories have died along with prejudices about gay adoption. During the 90s and from the year 2000 and on, homosexual adoption erupted and became more controversial. In this time frame gay adoption began arising and gaining popularity. Around this time, according Ada White (2000), who is the CWLA Director of Adoption Services stated that Many agencies are making these placements(children with gay parents), but not necessarily talking about them, (par. 2). According to Lisa Bennett (2002) More and more states recognize gay and lesbian adoption as a fine thing (par. 5). While,

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

there are states in favor of gay adoption, there are other states against it. For example, Mississippi, who is against gay adoption, will not allow any adoption by unmarried gay couples or gay individuals. For the past decades the US has been dealing with the legal context of homosexual rights. Over the past 50 years there has been discrimination towards homosexuals. The governments point of view is crucial because they determine whether it is allowed for homosexuals to adopt or not. According to Mallon (2006) stated that there are no w 17 states ( California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico , New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, and Wisconsin)and the District of Columbia antidiscrimination laws in the United Sates (p.29). Based on a survey it is said that 1-9 million children in the US are being raised by homosexual couples. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation (2000) a study concluded that 49% of gay people would like to raise children at some point. All this has influenced in the gay rights movement which includes gay adoption. As a result more states are opening up their legislation in favor of gay adoption. Homosexual adoption is somewhat popular in the United States (see table 1).

(table 1)

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

The people who are in charge of facilitating the process of adoption are the social workers. Their point of view is important because they place children where they see the childrens facility to adapt to their new home. Unfortunately, many social workers are being affected by peer pressure and others are making judgments based on their own prejudices. Some of them are being persuaded not to place children with homosexual couples. In the article, Coming Out of the Closet: Opening Agencies to Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Parents it is stated that Social workers who advocate the placement of a child with a gay man or lesbian may be subjected to ridicule, ostracism, and other career-limiting reactions. (Ryan, 2002, Par. 21). As a result many social workers are not placing children with homosexual parents. The Catholic Church has a clear, negative point of view towards gay adoption. In Boston, the church has decided to stop adoption services completely. As of 1999 there were approximately 2,280 orphanages run by the Catholic Church. This is obviously bad for homosexual couples because the Catholic Church is a large community in the US. Therefore, if the Catholics are against gay adoption, they have a greater influence on the whole controversy. A 2003 document issued by the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith called gay parenting gravely immoral (Colbert, 2006, p.6). They argue that it is gravely immoral because God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and another man. A great percentage of the US population is catholic, which means that most of those people will not approve gay adoption either. Four catholic bishops stated that gay adoption laws threaten religious freedom, because it would be forcing the church do to something immoral.

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

The education system plays an important role in a childrens life because they have the opportunity to shape a childs future. Teachers spend most of the day interacting with their students. Unfortunately, some teachers are not treating homosexual parents and their children equally. Homosexual parents and their children are often ignored and judged by the education system and other students (Clay, 1991, pg. 51-53). For example, some children are bullied and told that they are gay simply because they have homosexual parents. This may sound bad for the homosexual families, yet they see it as an opportunity to come closer as a family. The author J.W. Clay (1991) concludes by saying that people should leave their judgments aside for the good of the children and encourages the education system to be more supportive with homosexual families. So, how do homosexual parents raise their children? Do they raise them differently than heterosexual parents? According to Rachel H. Farr and Charlotte J. Patterson (2013) When child care was evenly divided, lesbian mothers reported greater satisfaction with divisions of labor and fewer child behavior problems-raising the possibility that shared divisions of labor might, in themselves, be beneficial for children (p.1227). Homosexual parents appear to share labors, which eventually leaves more time to be spent with their children. in contrast, heterosexual mothers report ideally wanting to do somewhat more than half of the child care, and heterosexual fathers report ideally wanting to so somewhat less than a half (Patterson, Sutfin, & Fulcher, 2004 ). Therefore, it is said that gay parents have better communication with their children.

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

On the other hand, there are people that say that all the contrary. Some people argue that children imitate what they see at home. According to Vanessa Wing-kei & Ronald Pak-ki (2013), Teens face a lot of confusion, in particular regarding sexuality. Two sociologists from the University of Southern California found that children with gay or lesbian parents would probably explore homosexual activity themselves (p.8). These statements were made by teens who wanted their opinion to be heard. The author states that teens that have homosexual parents are more likely to experiment with their sexuality. A newsletter reported by the National Gay and Lesbian Domestic Violence stated that The probability of violence occurring in a gay couple is mathematically double that in a heterosexual couple. These points of views seem bad for homosexual couple, but there are still good organization that is helping gay couples adopt such as Friends in Adoption. FIA is a non-profit organization that helps homosexual couples with the adoption process. In their website gay couples can find useful resources such as FAQs section that deal with the most common asked questions. Two of the most common questions asked are: does it take homosexual couples longer to adopt? and what to do when my child asks wheres mommy/daddy? According to Michael Coldberg & Dawn Pliner (2013) the adoption period is pretty much the same, but they suggest that the couple really thinks their decision through, so that they can become the best parents they can be (par. 2). Coldberg and Pliner answer the second question by saying that these questions are opportunities to tell their children that some families consist of two parents from the same sex. They advise to tell their children to not feel awkward or excluded. Most importantly they say to tell the child that he does have a mother or father yet they are not

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

parenting. As, you can see if homosexuals can have their doubts and many gay parents have these questions. In reality homosexual and heterosexual parents goals are the same. They both want what is best for their children. Jordan (1998) is a gay parent that stated "All I want for him is that ultimately he be as self-sufficient, happy and well-adjusted adult," (p.22). Both heterosexual and homosexual parents have this goal in common. Gay parents point of vi ew is clear: we only want what is best for our children. Therefore, parents who argue against homosexual adoption and parenting cannot deny the fact that most healthy and functional parenting, gay or not, want the best for their childrens life. Jordan also declares that he grew up in a heterosexual family yet that did not affect his gender identity. Jordan and his partner believe that because a child has gay parents it helps him have a broader perspective on everything and in a way it helps the child mature much faster. The couple stated that they felt their relationships have helped their kids' relationships with their peers.(Jordan, 1998, p.22). To all this what do the children think about gay adoption? For them it is a matter of having parents or no parents. (Dale & Nathan Gwilliam, 2002). Homosexual couples are so interested in becoming parents that they are willing to take children others are not." (Dale & Nathan Gwilliam, 2002). Even children that may feel left out or have special needs are would be benefited from gay adoption. Gay couples want to be parents so bad, that they dont care if the child has special needs or not, they only see a child that can be loved by them and is in need of a family.

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

Every head is a different world. As, this research has shown different communities have different points of view towards gay adoption. Some say it is good others say its bad. Some argue that children will be induced to homosexuality by having gay parents. The question is now what? Are there any solutions? Based on the research two solutions can be concluded: embrace gay adoption and its consequences or avoid it. People are not willing to give up their beliefs to new ideas, therefore solutions would be either to go for gay adoption or not. The better question is, now what? For now, the question will be unresolved until the each state decides whether to open up to gay adoption. Now, is the time to consider listening to those children who are in need of parents. Its time to leave prejudices and opinions aside and decide what is best for the future of our country, to decide what is best for children.

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

References Nathan, Gwilliam & Dale, Gwilliam (2002, January). Gay adoption. Retrieved from http://library.adoption.com/articles/gay-adoption.html# Mallon, G.P. (2006). Lesbian and gay foster and adoptive parents: Recruiting, assessing, and supporting an untapped resource for children and youth. Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America, Inc. Ryan, S. D., Pearlmutter, S., & Groza, V. (2004). Coming Out of the Closet: Opening Agencies to Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Parents. Social Work, 49(1), 85-95. Petrossian, V., Shopsin, M., Podkalicki, K., Podkalicki, J., Hofman, C., & Lindo, A. (1998, March 26). Gay parents' goals no different from straight ones. New York Amsterdam News. p. 22. Dawn, S., Pliner , & Michael, Coldberg (2013). Gay & Lesbian Adoption FAQ. Retrieved from http://www.friendsinadoption.org/adopting-with-friends-inadoption/index_gay_and_lesbian_adoption.php Post. Retrieved from http://0-www.lexisnexis.com.lib.utep.edu/hottopics/lnacademic/ Vanessa, C.K. (March 26, 2013). Should homosexual people be allowed to legally adopt children?; Each our two teenagers will debate a hot topic. This week. South China Morning

Running head: Gays, lesbians, marriage and children?

Farr, R. H., & Patterson, C. J. (2013). Coparenting Among Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual Couples: Associations With Adopted Children's Outcomes. Child Development, 84(4), 1226-1240. doi:10.1111/cdev.12046 Clay, J. W. (1991). Respecting and Supporting Gay and Lesbian Parents. Education Digest, 56(8), 51-53. Colbert, C. (2006). Catholic agency to halt adoption work. National Catholic Reporter, 42(21), 6. Laura, Montana, (2009, September 22). Adoption Gay Adoption Adoption Rights Gay Rights Foster Care Waiting Children. Retrieved from http://www.relating360.com/index.php/adoption-gay-adoption-adoption-rights-gayrights-foster-care-waiting-children-20354/ Gay Adoption Statistics, Gay Adoption Statistics Overall, Gay Adoption Statistics, Mar. 2012, Web, table 1.