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Johnny.anti PUA.aaron.sleazy.johnnys.journey

Johnny.anti PUA.aaron.sleazy.johnnys.journey

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Johnny’s Journey

Bnnks by Aarnn SIcazy
Sleazy Stories: Confessions of an Infamous Modern Seducer of
Women
Debunking the SeductionCommunity: The Exposition of a Sham
Industry and a Primer on Seducing Women
Minimal Game: The No-Nonsense Guide to Getting Girls
Johnny’s Journey: Critical Lessons from my Involvement with
the Seduction Community (ed.)
In Gorman:
Schmierige Geschichten: Bekennntnisse eines modernen Ver-
führers
Johnny’s Journey
Critical Lessons from my Involvement with the Seduction
Community
Johnny Anti-PUA
Aaron Sleazy
Copyrigll © zo1¸ }olnny Anli-IIA & Aaron SIoazy
lllp://vvv.aaronsIoazy.com
lllp://anli-pua-jolnny.bIogspol.com/
Tlo covor imago is basod on Desert by Moyan Bronn.
Copyrigll © zo11 by Moyan Bronn
Johnny’s Journey is Iiconsod undor a Croalivo Commons
Allribulion-NoncommorciaI-No Dorivalivo Works ¸.o I-
nilod Slalos Iiconso. Tlis moans llal you aro aIIovod lo
frooIy copy and dislribulo llis fiIo. Hovovor, you aro nol
aIIovod lo uso il commorciaIIy or lo modify il.
Rovision 1.o1
If you vanl lo givo foodback lo llis book, discuss vill llo
aullors, or laIk aboul your porsonaI oxporioncos, llon fooI
froo lo join us via llo foIIoving Iink. Il Ioads lo a supporl
forum for Johnny’s Journey:
lllp://vvv.aaronsIoazy.com/forum
Contents
PrcIacc xi
AcknnwIcdgmcnts xv
Intrnductinn 1
Backgrnund ¡
Mcct Jnhnny ¡
CnIIcgc LiIc y
Intrnductinn tn Pickup 11
My PUA Cnaching Expcricncc 1¡
Lnnking Inr HcIp 1y
“Ynu’rc sn mnncy, brn!” 1ç
Mnrc and Mnrc Rcd FIags z¡
vii
Frccdnm zy
SInwIy Dctaching MyscII Irnm PUA zç
Mnrc Evidcncc nI PUA CrapnIa ¡¡
Undcrstanding Ynur LncaI Envirnnmcnt ¡¡
My Currcnt Situatinn ¡y
Lnnking Back ¡ç
GIamnrizatinn nI thc “PUA Jnurncy” ¡1
Rcjcctinn Dncsn’t Mattcr ¡¡
Rcjcctinn StiII Dncsn’t Mattcr ¡y
Thc Impnrtancc nI Sparc Timc ¡1
HypcrsnciaI Wnmcn ¡¡
Fakc Anti-PUA PUAs ¡ç
II ynu arc SkcpticaI nI Anti-PUAs 6¡
Lcssnns 6y
Standards and PcrsnnaI GnaIs 6ç
RcaIistic GnaIs y¡
Ynu Dnn’t Nccd tn dn Tnn Much yy
viii
Ynu RcaIIy Dnn’t Nccd tn dn Tnn Much yç
Thc Purpnsc nI PUA 8¡
Mcasuring Prngrcss 8y
Mnving On ç1
PUA Inr thc Avcragc Guy ç¡
PUA Inr thc TntaIIy CIucIcss Guy çy
BnyIricnds and Onc-Night Stands 1o1
Whn Dcfincs ynur ScII-Estccm? 1o¡
BuiIding Pnsitivc RcIcrcncc Expcricnccs 1oç
Wnmcn arc Just as CIucIcss as Guys 11¡
Thcrc is Much Mnrc tn LiIc than Wnmcn 11y
FarcwcII 1z¡
Appcndix by Aarnn SIcazy 1zy
Why CnId Apprnaching is Prctty Much UscIcss 1zç
Fcar nI Rcjcctinn 1¡¡
Virginity, Schmirginity 1¡ç
ix
Wnmcn Cannnt Rcad Ynur Mind 1¡¡
Thc Lnnks-Mnncy-Status Triad 1¡ç
Onc Stcp AItcr Annthcr 1¡¡
x
Preface
Tlo pickup and soduclion induslry is nov voII pasl ils
poak. VH1’s roaIily TV slov The Pickup Artist, vlicl foa-
lurod Myslory and lis molIoy crov, faiIod lo mako an im-
pacl and vas cancoIIod aflor lvo soasons. Anollor TV
slov vill a simiIar llomo, Keys to the VIP, diod a quiol
doall. In lindsigll, llo induslry sooms lo lavo lad a
slorl poak and las nov onlorod a slago of docIino. Ils
offocl on popuIar cuIluro las vanod dramalicaIIy. Many
pickup arlisls from llo “B Toam” lavo oillor cIosod slop
or aro lrying lo roposilion llomsoIvos villin llo broador
soIf-loIp induslry. Iurllor, vliIo somo yoars ago poopIo
proudIy procIaimod lo bo IIAs, llis lorm las lakon on
a nogalivo connolalion. Lvon poopIo vlo sliII boIiovo in
“gamo” lavo bogun lo dislanco llomsoIvos from somo of
llo vocabuIary.
If you Iook al llo induslry al Iargo, you viII nolico llal
lloro lasn’l boon a big roIoaso in yoars. Somo limo ago,
il soomod as if lloro vas no monll villoul llo roIoaso of
yol anollor sol of z¸ DVDs for up lo a fov llousand doI-
Iars. Of courso, poopIo sliII roIoaso nov producls, bul llis
novadays lappons on a mucl smaIIor scaIo. NonolloIoss,
pricos aro sliII oxaggoralod, considoring llal obooks aro
boing soId for $;q.
Tlo soduclion induslry is mucl Ioss visibIo llan il usod lo
bo. Yol, lloro aro sliII pIonly of mon vlo faII for llo omply
xi
promisos of soIf-procIaimod soduclion gurus. Tlo ralo of
allrilion villin llo communily is ligl, llougl. Many
mon gol burnl. Aflor lloy roaIizo llal lloy lavo vaslod
sovoraI llousand doIIars on dubious “bool camps,” and
dozons if nol lundrods of lours sludying various lloo-
rolicaI framovorks for daling and maling of oflon dubious
quaIily, lloy rolroal.
Hovovor, somo docido lo slaro lloir nogalivo oxporioncos,
loping llal il viII provonl ollor guys fromfaIIing inlo llo
samo lrap. Somo posl on forums Iiko IIAHalo.com, and
ongago in oflon loxic convorsalion. Ollors sol up bIogs
and vobsilos, focussing oillor on llo induslry in gonoraI,
or on dolaiIing lloir porsonaI oxporioncos. Iurllor, lloro
lavo boon spoclacuIar Ioaks of inlornaI documonls of com-
panios Iiko RoaI SociaI Dynamics or Vonusian Arls, con-
firming lloir Iack of ollics and unscrupuIous businoss bo-
lavior.
Tlo “anli-IIA” fronl is slrong and groving. In zoo8 my
posilion vas ono of an oulsidor. A good four yoars Ialor,
I’m nol fooIing quilo so IonoIy anymoro. Wobsilos Iiko So-
duclionMyll.com or VonusianArlsCon.com lavo sprung
up, as voII as sovoraI porsonaI bIogs in vlicl poopIo dis-
socl llo absurd lloorios of prominonl daling coaclos. Ono
of lloso bIogs vas ovonluaIIy slarlod by }olnny.
}olnny and mo oxclangod a fov omaiIs in oarIy zo1z. Ho
loId mo aboul llo slady businoss mollods of llo gurus
lo las inloraclod vill, and lov pickup Iod lim dovn a
vrong pall. Tlo rosuIl vas a vaslo of limo and monoy,
bul aIso of many groal opporlunilios. I oncouragod lim
lo vrilo aboul lis oxporioncos. Ho ovonluaIIy slarod lis
slory vill llo vorId, in ordor lo provido a varning lo vuI-
norabIo mon vlo aro al risk of boing oxpIoilod by llo dal-
ing induslry.
Wlal ondod up lapponing vas a slring of vory insigllfuI
xii
bIog posls, appoaring in llo span of rouglIy llroo monlls
in oarIy zo1z. }olnny dolaiIod lis bad oxporioncos villin
llo communily, bul insloadof dvoIIing in soIf-pily, lo aIso
vrolo lov lo managod lo ovorcomo orronoous llinking,
and lovlo ovonluaIIy frood limsoIf fromllo nogalivo in-
fluoncos. Wo ovonluaIIy joinod forcos lo produco llis book
lo aIIovfor anoasior dislribulionof llo conlonl of lis bIog.
Hovovor, il doos nol jusl conlain llo arlicIos lo las vril-
lon. Ho aIso conlribulod somo nov claplors. Lvory posl
vas carofuIIy odilod. In addilion, I lavo conlribulod somo
claplors lo fiII in bIanks and lo provido a moro gonoraI
porspoclivo on somo lopics llal aro roIalod lo }olnny’s ox-
porioncos.
Anvo× Sirnzv
xiii
xiv
Acknowledgments
Johnny
Tloro aro lvo poopIo I vouId Iiko lo llank for lloir bru-
laIIy lonosl advico: Aaron SIoazy and Assanova. Wlon
I vas iniliaIIy rocovoring from IIA, roading vlal lloso
guys said vas painfuI al llo boginning and difficuIl lo ac-
knovIodgo. Hovovor, I lavo boon mucl bollor off in llo
Iong run duo lo looding lloir advico. SIoazy in parlicu-
Iar las boon inslrumonlaI and I IiloraIIy can’l llank lim
onougl for provonling mo from polonliaIIy vasling yoars
of my Iifo.
I aIso vanl lo llank AIok Novy for lis llorougl and sys-
lomalic crilicism of aII kinds of buIIslil lloorios, no mal-
lor if lloy aro proposod by IIAs, fominisls, or any ollor
psoudoscionlisls and snako oiI saIos mon. I can onIy on-
courago you lo clock oul lis porsonaI bIog and llo vob-
silo SoduclionMyll.com, lo vlicl lo conlribulod. Ho las
aIso Iofl a vilrioIic lraiI of bIog commonls aII ovor llo so-
caIIod manosploro, vlicl I onjoyod foIIoving.
Aaron
Iirsl of aII, I vouId Iiko lo llank }olnny for llis vondorfuI
coIIaboralion. Aflor many lours of lard vork, Johnny’s
xv
Journey lurnod inlo a book vo can boll bo proud of, and I
am vory lappy llal I vas abIo lo loIp il como lo fruilion.
I lavo dono a Iol of llo odiling vork, bul I lavon’l boon
vorking aIono. Tloroforo, I llank CorIoy Allorlon for lis
oxlonsivo foodback lo drafl vorsions. I aIso llank llroo
poopIo vlo visl lo romain anonymous.
xvi
Introduction
Tlis book is nol aboul lrying lo mako monoy, soIIing prod-
ucls, offor coacling or doing anylling of llo sorl. I am
nol socrolIy lrying lo mako il as a vrilor nor am I Iooking
lo bocomo a daling coacl. My onIy purposo is lo slaro
my slory and llo oxporioncos I lad vlon I vas foIIoving
IIAs. HopofuIIy, I viII convinco you slay avay from llis
scono. If in llo procoss, you gain somolling usofuI from
il, llal’s groal!
I viII loII you aboul my background, and lov my onvi-
ronmonl slapod my boIiofs aboul daling. NoodIoss lo say,
lloro vas a significanl mismalcl bolvoon my boIiofs and
roaIily, so I did vaslo a Iol of groal opporlunilios. Nol ro-
aIIy knoving vlal vas vrong, I slumbIod upon pickup
Iiloraluro on llo Inlornol, vlicl mado mo llink llal dal-
ing vomon, golling a girIfriond, or jusl laving sox voro
aImosl loroic undorlakings.
Iickup cosl mo a coupIo of yoars of my daling Iifo. I vas
ovonluaIIy abIo lo lurn my daling Iifo around, and a main
ovonl vas my rojoclion of mainslroamIIAadvico. I lavo
Ioarnl many Iossons, and in llis book I slaro llom vill
you. I lopo you von’l lavo lo mako llo samo mislakos I
mado.
If you aro famiIiar vill my bIog, llon llis book is sliII
vorll roading sinco my posls lavo boon llomalicaIIy ar-
rangod and proporIy odilod. Tlo goaI vas lo prosonl my
slory, and my porsonaI Iossons, in a llomalicaIIy coloronl
vay. You may find il oasor lo road and digosl llis book
llan lo go llrougl my onliro bIog. Iurllor, I did add a
coupIo of nov claplors in addilion lo llo rovisod posls
from my bIog, and Aaron SIoazy addod an appondix vill
somo of lis insiglls on llo claIIongo of daling for Ioss ox-
porioncod mon.
IIoaso road llis book fromcovor lo covor. WliIo llo clap-
lors may sland on lloir ovn, lloy aro pul villin a parlic-
uIar conloxl. Bocauso lloy foIIov a clronoIogicaI or llo-
malic ordor, you’II probabIy gol moro oul of il if you road
il onco proporIy llan if you vouId jusl skimil or occasion-
aIIy rofor lo il by roading soIoclod claplors.
z
Background
¸
Meet Johnny
I grov up in a smaII cily in a vory consorvalivo onviron-
monl. Guys voro oxpoclod lo lavo maIo frionds, vliIo
girIs ladlloir girIfrionds. GirIs inmy famiIy andoxlondod
famiIy vouId nol ovon daro lo voar sIoovoIoss cIolling.
IoopIo vouId gol marriod basod on llo cloicos of lloir
paronls. Tloy caIIod oacl ollor girIfriond or boyfriond af-
lor lloy lad boon on a fov dalos and lad boon laIking for
lours on llo plono. Kissing vas a prolly big doaI. Aclu-
aIIy, laving sox vas nol al aII common. Lvon loday somo
of my sclooI frionds lavo nol yol lad sox vill lloir Iong-
limo girIfriond or boyfriond.
I’m a vory avorago guy in Iooks, ¸’8” laII and aboul 1¡o
pounds loavy. I’vo gol aboul 1; porconl body fal. I vouId
say llal I am fairIy skinny. Hovovor, vlal I lavo aIvays
lad going for mysoIf vas llal I vas, and lopofuIIy sliII
am, liglIy inloIIigonl. I aIso lavo roasonabIy good com-
municalion skiIIs. Hovovor, I am an inlrovorl and llus
profor lo bo in my ovn vorId.
I didn’l lavo many inloraclions vill llo opposilo sox in
my youll. Tlo firsl limo I spoko lo a girI on llo plono
vas in 8ll grado, and I lad my firsl officiaI dalo vlon I
vas in 11ll grado. NonolloIoss, lloro voro aIvays girIs
vlo Iikod mo a Iol. In 11ll and 1zll grado, in vlalovor
vay vo vouId dofino girlfriend — I novor kissod lor, vo
onIy ovor loId lands. — my girIfriond vas, al llal limo,
¸
llo mosl popuIar girI in my onliro smaII cily. I lad no cIuo
vly slo Iikod mo, bul slo did.
My probIoms voro lvofoId: I vas afraid of boing soxuaI,
and I gonoraIIy lad no idoa vlal lo do vill girIs. Tloro
voro so many limos vlon llal girI, and many ollors, vis-
ilod my pIaco or voro aIono vill mo somovloro and vail-
ing for mo lo mako a movo. Bul I jusl didn’l knov vlal
lo do or lov lo do il. Tlus, I ondod up nol ovon lav-
ing kissod a girI vlon I onlorod coIIogo. I boIiovo llal il’s
llo samo vill ovory avorago guy. If you dross roasonabIy
voII and can laIk a bil, you lavo pIonly of girIs vlo Iiko
you. Bul bocauso vo aro in our ovn load, vo novor ro-
aIizo il, or bocauso of nogalivo boIiofs vo novor llink llal
good-Iooking girIs couId ovor Iiko us.
6
College Life
Aflor ligl sclooI, I vonl lo ono of llo bosl coIIogos of my
counlry. Tlo limo sponl lloro vas vlal fuckod mo up llo
mosl. Boforo llis I aIvays llougll girIs Iikod mo, ovon
llougl I didn’l knov vly. In my coIIogo, poopIo voro aII
liglIy inloIIigonl, bul lloy voro aIso compIolo sociaI ro-
lards. Il vas a big doaI if youvoro comforlabIo jusl laIking
lo vomon, and if you lad a sorious girIfriond, no mallor
vlal slo Iookod Iiko, poopIo voro roaIIy improssod, if nol
in avo of you. If you managod lo gol a culo girIfriond,
voII, llon lloso poopIo Iookod al you as if you voro from
anollor pIanol. Tloro voro jusl a fovgirIs lloro, and lloy
voro aII ugIy. Yol, givon llo liglIy unoquaI gondor ralio,
lloy llougll of llomsoIvos as goddossos. In slorl, spond-
ing four yoars in llis onvironmonl mado mo adapl, so I
lurnod inlo a sociaI rolard as voII.
CoIIogo sol mo up vory nicoIy in lorms of my caroor. Bul
by llo limo I gradualod I vas convincod I vouId novor
gol a girI, and llal laving a girIfriondvas an oIilo acliovo-
monl. I llougll I vasn’l good-Iooking onougl andllal no
girI vouId vanl lo dalo mo anyvay. In my sonior yoar I
road books fromIIAs Iiko David DoAngoIo and Myslory,
vlicl roinforcod my boIiofs. If you lad lo do so mucl lo
lavo sox vill a girI, llon il cIoarIy is a lougl claIIongo,
and consoquonlIy I vas doubling llal I’d ovor succood in
llal aroa.
;
IIonly of inslancos slouId lavo convincod mo ollorviso,
llougl. I vonl abroad a coupIo of limos for summor in-
lornslips. Iooking back, lloro voro pIonly of vomonvlo
vanlod lo look up vill mo. I Iosl my virginily during ono
of lloso summors, and il’s a miracIo llal il acluaIIy lap-
ponod. I vas al a lrain slalion lrying lo buy a lickol, bul
llo lickol Iady gavo mo a lard limo by rofusing lo spoak
LngIisl. You can probabIy guoss vlicl Luropoan counlry
I vas in.
LvonluaIIy a IocaI girI loIpod mo oul. I vas roaIIy gIad,
llankod lor, and gol going. Tlon llal girI slovod up in
my subvay vagon. Wo slarlod laIking, and vlon slo vas
aboul lo gol off, I somolov muslorod up llo courago lo
ask vlollor slo’d Iiko lo lavo coffoo vill mo. Wo did,
and aflorvards vo vonl for a vaIk. Slo Iod mo inlo a park
vloro ovoryono vas making oul — and somo minulos
Ialor vo did loo. A fov days Ialor vo mol again, and lad
sox. I gol oxlromoIy Iucky bocauso slo did aII llo vork.
Slo bocamo my firsl girIfriond, and slo vas llo onIy girI I
gol during coIIogo.
ToIIing slorios from my ollor summor is quilo ombarrass-
ing. Tloro vas llis lol Ialina I mol al danco Iossons. Slo
smiIod al mo from across llo room, and vlon vo voro
dancing logollor, slo Iookod doopIy inlo my oyos as slo
firmIy pul lor lands around my nock. Many of llo ollors
said vo mado a roaIIy culo coupIo. Bul I llougll il vas aII
bocauso I vas a good dancor and llal slo vas jusl boing
nico.
Tloro vas anollor girI vlo Iivod in llo opposilo diroclion
frommy pIaco. Ono nigll slo vas drunk and lad vaIkod
aII llo vay from a danco parly lo my pIaco. Wo slood in
fronl of my louso, and I vas llinking vly slo vas sliII
loro. LvonluaIIy I said good nigll lo lor and sonl lor
lomo. I romombor anollor girI from a danco parly vlo
avkvardIy sloppod on my sloos. Aflor I Iookod up, slo
8
quickIy pul lor arms around my nock and loId mo I vas
sucl a good dancor. Tlon slo draggod mo lo llo danco
floor and oagorIy rubbod lor ass againsl my crolcl. Slo
cIoarIy vas in loal, bul I sliII didn’l do anylling aboul il.
I couId loII you moro slorios, bul you gol llo poinl. I vas
compIoloIy cIuoIoss aboul vomon.
q
1o
Introduction to Pickup
Rigll aflor gradualion I gol a vory prosligious job, vlicl
aIso onlaiIod vorking Iong lours. By llis limo IIA non-
sonso lad fiIIod my load, vlicl moanl llal I vas focusing
on vlal lo do lo gol girIs allraclod lo mo rallor llan jusl
Iooking for girIs vlo aIroady voro inlo mo. My sociaI cir-
cIo vas fuII of sociaI rolards Iiko mo. I didn’l knova singIo
guy vlo gol Iaid roguIarIy. AImosl ovoryono I knov vas
oillor a virgin or lad virluaIIy no soxuaI oxporionco. On
lop of llal, coId approacling isn’l vory common in my
counlry. I knov llal laving a sociaI Iifo aflor coIIogo vas
going lo bo difficuIl.
I did pursuo quilo a fovaclivilios on vookonds. Hovovor,
llo combinalion of laving my load fuII of IIA lloorios
andlaving lolaIIy unroaIislic slandards rogarding vomon
guaranlood llal nol mucl vas going lo lappon. SliII, bo-
causo I did go oul a bil and pul mysoIf in many sociaI sil-
ualions, I ondod up going on a fov dalos. Nolling camo
from llom bocauso I vas loo mucl of a pussy lo mako a
movo. My dry spoII soomod lo bo novor-onding.
In spilo of laving road a Iol of IIAmaloriaIs —I firsl road
somolling al llo slarl of my finaI yoar of my undorgrad-
ualo dogroo — I lad novor acluaIIy dono a coId approacl.
Of courso, lloro voro pIonly of silualions vloro you aro
oul somovloro and randomIy convorsalions slarl, bul I
vas sliII a sloroolypicaI nord vlo jusl road books villoul
11
laking any aclion.
I movod lo Nov York Cily for a fov monlls in oarIy zo11.
Tlis vas aboul a yoar and a laIf aflor gradualing from
coIIogo. I vas doop inlo IIA sluff by llis limo. }usl Iiko
ovoryono oIso in llis scono I docidod llal I vas going lo
“gol llis parl of my Iifo landIod.” Tlis moanl pulling loo
mucl prossuro on mysoIf, vlicl mado llis vloIo lling
nol fun al aII. Lvon vorso vas llal llis alliludo croalod
probIoms llal ladn’l ovon oxislod in llo firsl pIaco! AII I
lad noodod lo do vas lo go oul ovory nov and llon, and
oscaIalo. I vas doing llal, bul maybo I couId lavo dono
moro. Tlis vouId lavo boon il. Bul I docidod lo gol inlo
pickup insload.
Ior an aspiring pickup arlisl Nov York Cily is a magi-
caI pIaco, maybo a bil Iiko Hogvarls in llo Harry Potter
books. Tloro aro Iols and Iols of Inlornol forums bul you
can aIso mool up vill guys from IocaI Iairs.
1
Tloro aro
a Iol of coaclos around, and you can allond laIks givon
by llo vory poopIo you road aboul onIino. IoopIo aro oul
lloro doing approaclos. Tloro aro so many bars, lloro’s
slrool gamo, day gamo, nigll gamo —and pIonly of supor-
culo girIs from aII ovor llo vorId. I vas lookod.
Il vas a cuIl-Iiko fooIing. I foIl llal I vas parl of somolling
big: A buncl of sociaIIy avkvard guys coming logollor,
going oul and golling lol vomon. Wo voro aII aboul in-
nor gamo, lriod lo lono our convorsalionaI abiIilios, and
voro aflor a doopor undorslanding of “sociaI dynamics”
and vlalnol. Tlo good lling aboul mo, I guoss, vas llal
I acluaIIy vonl oul a Iol and did pIonly of approaclos.
Bul lloro voro many rod flags.
1
In llo soduclion communily, a “Iair” is a IocaI group of mon. Tloy
convono in ordor lo discuss “slralogios” for golling girIs, and il’s quilo
common lo find poopIo lo go oul vill lloro. Tloso aro roforrod lo as
vingmon. — A. S.
1z
I slouId lavo quil mucl soonor llan I did. A Iol of llo
Iair guys voro lolaIIy voird. A fov of llom voro suffor-
ing from sorious psycloIogicaI probIoms. Ono guy lad
sucl onormous anxioly issuos llal lo couIdn’l ovon laIk
lo guys. Ho bIuslod and lo ondod up laking vory doop
broalls. Anollor ono IiloraIIy broko oul in loars and sob-
bingIy loId us llal lo couIdn’l ovon ask a random girI
for llo limo. Tloro voro a fov cooI guys llougl, bul in
gonoraI I vasn’l roaIIy laving llo samo kind of probIoms
lloso guys voro sufforing from.
Lvon my Iimilod oxporioncos from going oul slouId lavo
confirmod llal llis vloIo IIA lling vas a crock of slil.
I novor roaIIy usod any Iinos or roulinos. I vasn’l oIicil-
ing lor vaIuos, slayod avay from NII, and didn’l bollor
vill cocky-funny comody oillor. I corlainIy vasn’l “acl-
ing aIpla” or allompling lo “cavoman” any girIs. In spilo
of llal, lloro voro pIonly of occasions vloro girIs Iikodmo
ovon llougl I lad soomingIy dono nolling al aII. Somo-
limos lloy Iikod mo ovon vlon I vas doing somolling ro-
aIIy slupid.
Ono limo, aflor laIking lo a girI for a Iong limo, I vas laking
a big sip from my boor and suddonIy I lad lo cougl. I
couIdn’l loIp il. WoII, I ondod up spraying boor ovor llo
counlor of llo bar — slraigll from my moull! Dospilo
llal, vo sliII mado oul llal nigll. I ladn’l dono anylling,
bul slo sliII Iikod mo. I guoss llal vas aIso parl of llo
probIom. I vanlod lo lavo conlroI and fooI llal aII llis
IIA sluff vas loIping mo, and nol llal daling vas jusl
lolaIIy random. ConsoquonlIy I ondod up discounling aII
llo random occasions on vlicl I didn’l do anylling and
llo girI sliII Iikod mo. Insload I focusod on llo onos vloro
I did do somolling bul nolling lapponod. Of courso, I
llon foIl llal I noodod lo gol bollor gamo.


My PUA Coaching
Experience

Looking for Help
Bocauso I llougll I noodod lo gol bollor gamo, vlal bollor
lling vas lloro lo do llan liring a coacl` I vas carofuI
vill monoy, so I found an Asian guy vlo soomod somo-
vlal Iogil. Ho clargod mo $¸o por lour for a ono-on-ono
sossion. Going oul vill lim vas a doconl inlroduclion lo
pickup arlislry. Ho vas roasonabIy voII-drossod, voaring
cIollos llal malclod lis IifoslyIo and aIso llo porsonaIily
lo vanlod lo convoy. Ho vas aIso fairIy aggrossivo. Tlo
probIom, llougl, vas llal lis slyIo and my porsonaIily
cIaslod. Wo voro IiloraIIy al llo opposilo onds of llo spoc-
lrum. Ho vas a rallor poor foIIov. Wlon lo vas lungry,
lo sluffod limsoIf vill pizza sIicos. Ho vas basicaIIy a
broko lipslor, and lo lad moro sparo limo llan lo knov
vlal lo do vill.
Having said llal, lo vas fairIy Iogil. Wo vonl oul, and lo
criliquod my approaclos. Ho didn’l gol loo doop inlo mi-
nor dolaiIs, bul gavo mo somo suggoslions Iiko joining an
improvcIass. SliII, llo issuo vas llal vlal lo vas suggosl-
ing vas vlal lad vorkod for lim and nol vlal vouId
vork for mo. Tloro voro somo rod flags llal slouId lavo
mado mo roaIizo llal llis IIA sluff vasn’l vorll il. Ho
slovod mo pics of a Iol of llo girIs lo sIopl vill. Mosl of
llom voro girIs I vouIdn’l ovon lavo bollorod approacl-
ing, Iol aIono conlompIalo pulling my dick in. Tlo random
girIs vlo ladIikodmo voro aII bollor-Iooking llan aImosl
1;
ovory singIo girI in lis picluros. I did nol connocl llo dols,
ovon llougll lloro vas onougl ovidonco lo roaIizo llal if
llis vas jusl aboul fucking IiloraIIy any random girI llal
comos your vay, llon you don’l nood anylling for llal.
I did moro approaclos and llo rosuIls voro moro of llo
samo. Random girIs voro Iiking mo villoul mo doing
anylling. Wlon I lriod lo do somolling compIicalod Iiko
llo IIAs loId mo, I camo across as vory voird. Nolling
of lloir sluff soomod lo vork. Tlus foIl llal I noodod lo
improvo my gamo — and liro a bollor coacl.
Tloro vas ono good lling lapponing al llal limo vlicl
kopl mo somovlal groundod, and I llink loIpod mo gol
back lo laving a normaI Iifo quilo fasl. I lad a slrong
inlorosl in parlnor dancos and look danco Iossons. Tlo
vloIo onvironmonl lloro vas so difforonl. Tlo poopIo
voro varm and friondIy. Many girIs voro gorgoous and
lad pIoasanl porsonaIilios. Lvon bollor vas llal girIs oul-
numborod guys by a vido margin. AII of il vas jusl amaz-
ing. Hovovor, I lad road on somo IIAbIogs llal coId ap-
proacling vas mucl bollor llan any kind of sociaI circIo
gamo, and llal you don’l vanl lo como across as a croop.
ConsoquonlIy, I novor bollorod vill llo girIs vlo lil on
mo in dancing cIass.
I slouId lavo roaIizod llal you von’l como across as a
croop if you aro a normaI guy. Tlo onIy lling you nood lo
do vas ask llom oul on a dalo. Tlal’s il! Tloy Iiko you,
lloy lavo soon you pIonly of limos al cIassos, and lloy
lavo soon lov you inloracl vill ollor poopIo. Bocauso of
aII llal lloy aIroady lrusl you and aro comforlabIo vill
you. Il’s porfocl! Bul, no, of courso I lad lo do llis IIA
nonsonso. I vanlod lo fooI llal I lavo somo kind of spociaI
povor and llal I vas abovo normaI guys. I vanlod lo fooI
llal lloy don’l undorsland vlal I can do, and llal lloy
can’l do vlal I can.
18
“You’re so money, bro!”
I docidod lo liro a bollor coacl and ondod up liring lvo:
Rob }udgo and Zack Bauor.
z
Tloso guys voro probabIy
bollor, or so I llougll. Tloy voro moro oxponsivo and
lloy drossod bollor. Tloy aIso lad a bIog and voro run-
ning a fuII-flodgod IIA company. Of courso lloy voro
bollor! I lad lvo plono coacling sossions and ono Iivo
vookond consisling of lvo niglls and ono day. I slouId
z
I slouId probabIy poinl oul llal any IIAs vlo aro monlionod by
namo sland for symploms of llo onliro induslry. In no vay is il in-
londod lo singIo oul parlicuIar guys, and noillor is il impIiod llal lloso
aro llo onIy onos lo bIamo. Ono of llo mosl absurd slalomonls I lavo
ovor road vas llal bocauso I ladn’l vrillon a bIog posl on somo par-
licuIar IIA yol, lo is probabIy Iogil. Tlis is an absoIuloIy IauglabIo
Iino of roasoning. Don’l focus on llo namos bul llink of your oxpori-
oncos villin llo soduclion communily and soo vlollor you can roIalo
lo vlal }olnny doscribos. I bol llal ovon llougl llo IIAs lavo diffor-
onl namos, lloy viII loII you simiIar slorios and lry soIIing you simiIar
producls.
AIso, fromlaving mol a numbor of IIAs inroaI Iifo, I lavo lo loII you
llal somo aro roaIIy nico poopIo, if you gol lo knovllomon a porsonaI
IovoI. I knov llal }olnny las boon disappoinlod by Rob }udgo, for
roasons lo dolaiIs furllor on. Onllo ollor land, I mol Rob }udgo nol as
parl of a guru-cIionl roIalionslip, bul as a normaI guy. IorsonaIIy, I Iiko
llo guy. NonolloIoss, I do disagroo vill llo kindof markoling slralogy
lo Ialor on pursuod. I lavo soon llo samo lapponing vill ollors vlo
slarlod oul vill a prolly lonosl approacl, bul llon driflod lovards
llo slady sido of llo induslry. }olnny las mado a groal anaIysis of
llis plonomonon in llo claplor “Rojoclion SliII Doosn’l Mallor.” —
A. S.
1q
lavo soon llo rod flags, lovovor. Tloso coaclos novor
askod aboul any dolaiIs aboul my background, nor did
lloy vanl lo knov anylling aboul my appoaranco. Tloy
didn’l discuss my slicking poinls oillor. Insload, lloy onIy
lriod lo imposo lloir ovn spociaI four-Iollor acronym so-
duclion syslom on mo, as if il vas a magic curo-aII for ov-
orylling.
I sonl llom a “fioId roporl” of my nigll oul aflor lloir
plono coacling sossion. I vas using somo convorsalionaI
slarlors, vlicl vonl compIoloIy againsl llo pliIosoply
lloy voro loacling. Bul llis vas vorking briIIianlIy for
mo aflor lloir coacling. Iooking back, llougl, il vas a
pIacobo offocl bocauso I vas doing llo oxacl samo llings
as boforo, and nolling oIso. I loId llom aboul il, and lloy
said, “No, llis is nol rigll. You slouId do llo ollor lling
vlicl I’m loacling you.” Bul bocauso I vasn’l comforl-
abIo vill lloso Iinos, lloy didn’l vork for mo. I llougll I
vas cIoarIy doing somolling vrong, so I ondod up book-
ing a Iivo vookond vill llom.
Tloro voro lvo inslruclors and lvo sludonls. Wo slarlod
llo nigll vill somo drinks. Onco again vo vonl llrougl
lloir spociaI syslom for picking up vomon. Tloro vas no
individuaI advico or any kind of individuaI allonlion. Wo
ondod up going lo somo fancy upscaIo Ioungo. I vas nol
comforlabIo in sucl an onvironmonl and llus I didn’l do
voII lloro. Our lask for llo nigll vas lo uso a coupIo of
Iinos vo voro givon and lry lo gol a girI avay from lor
group. I didn’l do voII, bul lloy said, “You’ro so monoy
bro! You nood no moro advico, you’II crack il lomorrov!
You guys aro so avosomo!”
Tloro voro moro rod flags llal I slouId lavo nolicod. Tlo
ollor sludonl approaclod llo friond of a girI I vas vill by
saying, “Hoy baby, lov aro you` Do you vanl a drink`”
Il vas said vory avkvardIy. In IIA Iingo lo soundod
zo
Iiko an AIC
¸
and noody. Hovovor, llo girI found lim
vory culo. Tloy Ialor oxclangod numbors and ovonluaIIy
lookod up. His succoss lad nolling lo do vill llo pickup
syslom vo voro laugll, llougl. Slo vas jusl roaIIy inlo
lim.
AIso, boforo llo slarl of llo nigll, I lad arrangod a dalo for
llo foIIoving vook from my dancing cIass. Onco again I
ladn’l dono anylling. I vas laIking vill llo girI aboul
dancing and lor vork, and llon I askod for lor numbor. I
loxlod lor, asking vlollor slo vouId Iiko lo go for a drink
vill mo. Slo vas supor oxcilod and ropIiod “yos” vill
laIf a dozon oxcIamalion marks. I loId lloso IIAcoaclos
aboul il, and lloy voro Iiko, “Soo dudo, llis vorks! Tlis is
avosomo! You’ro so monoy, bro!” Al llis poinl I llougll,
“Hoy, vail a minulo! I lavon’l dono anylling. I lavo no
cIuo vly slo Iikos mo and cIoarIy I didn’l do anylling you
guys lad laugll mo.” Tloroforo I vasn’l roaIIy suro vly
lloy voro cIaiming crodil for il. Bul onco again — slupid
brainvaslod mo! — I didn’l connocl llo dols and conlin-
uod vill llis IIA slil.
¸
Tlo acronym AIC slands for avorago fruslralod clump. An AIC
is llo diamolraI opposilo of a IIA. IIAs llink llal normaI guys aro
aulomalicaIIy AICs, and assumo llal lloso onIy gol Iaid duo lo Iuck.
In roaIily, llougl, llo AIC is IillIo moro llan llo imaginary onomy of
llo coIIoclivo IIA crovd, and an imago lloy allack in ordor lo fooI
bollor of llomsoIvos. SadIy, IIAs aro obIivious lo llo facl llal a voII-
adjuslod avorago guy gols as mucl if nol moro vomon llan lloy do,
and vill onIy a fraclion of llo offorl. — A. S.
z1
zz
More and More Red
Flags
Tlo noxl nigll vo slarlod in simiIar faslion. Wo voro
laIking aboul llo provious nigll vill llo lvo inslruclors,
and I loard, “You’ro so monoy bro!” many moro limos.
Tlo lvo of us vonl oul. Wo voro loId lo coIIocl numbors
fromclicks and invilo llomlo como vill us lo llo Ioungo,
llo samo pIaco vo lad boon llo day boforo. Wo roamod
around, approaclod somo girIs and somolov ondod up
in llis Iaid-back bar. I foIl avosomo and aIivo llo momonl
I sloppod in lloro. Tlo crovd vas vory inlornalionaI. I
vas youngor and bollor drossod llan a Iol of llo guys in
lloro. Tlo poopIo voro Ioss snobbisl and il gonoraIIy foIl
avosomo. I did amazingIy voII in lloro. Tlo ollor guy lo-
laIIy bombod, llougl. Ho did voII llo ollor nigll in llo
upscaIo Ioungo, bul llis vas a compIoloIy difforonl onvi-
ronmonl. On a sido nolo, I aImosl aIvays do voII in llis
bar. I lavo a groal nigll prolly mucl ovory limo I go back
lloro.
I vonl back lo our coaclos andloIdllomaboul il, andlloy
couIdn’l boIiovo llal I vas doing so voII. AcoupIo of girIs
ovon slovod up Ialor in llo Ioungo. I askod llom aboul
llis vonuo plonomonon. Tloy said, “Yoal, llis Ioungo is
louglor and you golla slop up your gamo for llal.” Tlis
vas a roaIIy slupid lling lo say. I lavo roaIizod llal as

guys, bocauso of our compolilivo naluro, vo usuaIIy don’l
Iiko loaring llal somolling is lardor or boyond our roacl.
So vlonovor somoono says somolling Iiko llal, you loII
yoursoIf llal you’ro going lo crack llis. AIso, I kind of
rospoclod lloso guys so I slarlod lo assumo llal gamo is
somolling Iinoar vloro you koop improving infiniloIy.
I vonl again lo llis Ioungo, and I bombod onco again.
Wlon I askod llom for advico, lloy said I noodod lo bo
moro pIayfuI. No ollor concrolo advico vas givon. I for-
gol lo add ono lling aboul llo provious nigll. Ono of llo
lvo coaclos gol drunk and look a girI lomo. Tlis vas
dofiniloIy nol vlal I lad paid lim lo do. Tlis nigll I
managod lo isoIalo a girI bul I vanlod lo kiss lor, so I
sorl of Iungod across. Il vasn’l smooll, and llo girI Iofl.
Somolling simiIar lapponodvill llo ollor lvo girIs from
oarIior in llo nigll vlo slovod up al llo Ioungo. Aflor-
vards I askod lloso guys aboul lov couId I mako il moro
smooll, and lloy said, “Don’l vorry, dudo! Koop doing
il, and il viII aulomalicaIIy bocomo moro smooll ovor a
poriod of limo!”
Tloro voro ollor odd silualions. Ior inslanco, I said lo
llom llal I llink llal vlilo guys vlo go lo pIacos Iiko
TlaiIand and IliIippinos gol Iaid oasiIy. Tloy ropIiod llal
llis vasn’l lruo, and cIaimod llal il vas aIvays aboul por-
sonaIily and gamo insload. Tlon I askod if my acconl, raco
or nalionaIily couId bo a probIom. Tloy loId mo, “}usl
ovn il! Il’s aII in your load. If you don’l caro, llo girIs
von’l caro oillor.”
Tloro voro Iols of ollor rod flags as voII. Tloro vas no
spocific advico and onIy a ono-sizo-fils-aII mollodoIogy.
Tlon lloy monlionod llal lloy vonl oul ovory nigll for
aImosl llroo yoars. I lavo no cIuo vlal kind of guy vouId
do sucl a lling. Anyvay, llo noxl day vo did somo slrool
gamo. I llink llis did lurl mo llo mosl bocauso I didn’l
roaIizo lovfundamonlaIIy flavodrandomIy approacling

girIs on llo slrool roaIIy is. I vas soducod by llo idoa llal
nol ovory girI goos lo bars, bul lloy aII lavo lo go aboul
lloir daiIy cloros. Tloso coaclos kopl larping on aboul
lovavosomo slrool gamo vas. Aflor llo boolcampI vonl
oul and did bolvoon ;o and 8o slrool approaclos. I gol
moro llan z¸ numbors, and lloy aII flakod. Lvory singIo
ono of llom! I askod llom aboul il, and lloy said, “Koop
doing vlal you’ro doing, bro, and ono day il’II aII bo oas-
ior.” Tlis vas llo finaI naiI in llo coffin.

z6
Freedom
z;
Slowly Detaching
Myself from PUA
In spilo of nol laving any succoss, I kopl doing pickup
for somo roason. Tlis vas parlIy duo lo roading random
forums vloro poopIo said llal lloy, loo, ladn’l lad any
succoss for a Iong limo, bul llon ovorylling suddonIy bo-
camo oasior ono day. So I kopl al il. Yol, il vasn’l roaIIy
golling any oasior. Hovovor, I vas laving somo succoss
randomIy vlon I didn’l do anylling — Iiko aflor a fligll,
vlon somo voman bIalanlIy offorod lo lako mo lomo. On
anollor occasion I fiddIod an oIdor voman’s pussy in a
Ioungo. Bul nono of llis vas duo lo “gamo.” Will llo
oIdor Iady I slarlod llo convorsalion by asking, “Wlal aro
you drinking`” Wo voro laIking aboul somo random bor-
ing slil, bul llo koy poinl vas llal slo vas a lourisl and
vanlod lo gol Iaid.
I vanl lo omplasizo lvo poinls loro. Iirsl, I didn’l gol Iaid
fromlloso oncounlors bocauso I somolovfuckodbollup,
and lloro voro counlIoss ollors I fuckod up loo, duo lo
slupidily on my parl. Il didn’l loIp llal llo girIs Iikod
mo a Iol. Socond, lloso inloraclions voro nol llo rosuIl
of gamo. I’m nol suro vlal lo caII il ollor llan llo facl
llal llo girIs jusl Iikod mo rigll off llo bal. I slarlod llo
convorsalion and aflor llal lloy jusl kopl ro-ongaging mo
vliIo sloving lloir inlorosl.
zq
I vas focussing on coId approacling and ovonluaIIy, af-
lor so many rojoclions, I gol so doprossod llal I soriousIy
llougll llal maybo girIs voron’l for mo. Hock, for a mo-
monl I ovon vondorod vlollor I vas socrolIy gay bul jusl
didn’l knov il yol. I’m sorious, I roaIIy did llink llal ono
nigll. Tlon I llougll, “Tlis isn’l vorll il. Iol mo jusl
go do somolling oIso insload!” OvoraII, I didn’l gol Iaid
onco from aII llis limo in IIA. Tlis vas around Augusl
of zo11.
Doloxing mysoIf frompickup clangod ovorylling for mo.
I focusod puroIy on doing llings I Iikod. I vonl aboul ox-
pIoring NYC on my ovn. I focusod on dancing and look
randomIossons loro and lloro. I vonl oul lo lry novbars
and roslauranls. I invilod frionds ovor from noarby cilios.
IinaIIy, I gol inlo a bollor mood. During llis limo I aIso
mol somo roaIIy cooI poopIo. Ior inslanco, my danco in-
slruclor Iikod mo a Iol. Ovor llo vookond slo look mo lo
noarby cilios vloro slo laugll vorkslops. I lravoIod vill
lor and lor frionds and vo aII lad a groal limo.
I vas jusl focusod on onjoying mysoIf insload of loning
my gamo and as a rosuIl, basicaIIy ovoryvloro I vonl, I
nolicod llal lloro voro a fovgirIs vlo soomod lo Iiko mo.
Tlis Iod lo somo quilo sovoro cognilivo dissonanco. Il jusl
didn’l mako sonso llal so many avosomo guys and girIs
Iovo langing oul vill mo and invilo mo lo go oul vill
llom, vlon I kopl bombing so badIy during my coId ap-
proaclos. Maybo “gamo” vas making mo voird`
Ono nigll I vonl oul lo a bar vill frionds. Tloro vas llis
culo girI vlo vas Iooking al mo and smiIing. I vaIkod
up lo lor and clallod vill lor aboul random sluff. Slo
vas an inlorn in llo cily for llo summor. Il aII vonl so
smoollIy. Wo oxclangod numbors and lor friond kopl
saying llal vo slouId go oul logollor. Wo lookod up
aboul a vook Ialor. Tlis vas my firsl lookup in NYC.
Soon aflorvards I rolurnod back lomo.
¸o
SIovIy I bogan dislancing mysoIf from mainslroam gamo.
I aIso slarlod googIing lorms Iiko “IIA scam” and “prob-
Ioms vill IIA”. LvonluaIIy, I camo across Aaron SIoazy.
Wlon I road lis book Debunking the Seduction Community,
and posls on lis bIog and forum, a Iol of llings foII inlo
pIaco. I graduaIIy slarlod dolacling mysoIf from llo so-
duclion communily.
I camo back from NYC in Ialo Augusl zo11. Ono nigll my
friond invilod mo lo a parly. Ho lad lvo fomaIo frionds
vill lim. Wo drank and dancod. Boll girIs slovod mad
inlorosl in mo. I offorod lo vaIk boll of llom lomo. I
droppod ono off firsl, and llon llo socond girI loId mo llal
I slouId slay al lor pIaco lonigll bocauso I vas loo drunk
lo go back lomo. So vo vonl lo lor pIaco andladsox. Slo
bocamo my socond girIfriond. Onco again I vas amazod
al lov simpIo il vas.
¸1
¸z
More Evidence of PUA
Crapola
As I slarlod dislancing mysoIf fromIIAI bocamo incroas-
ingIy fruslralod aboul lovmucl of a scamlloso guys ac-
luaIIy aro. Tlis poinl las boon boalon lo doall on pIonly
of forums and vobsilos by nov, bul I sliII vanl lo vrilo
aboul a fov IIA cIaims vlicl I llink aro vory imporlanl
and affocl your rosuIls in a lugo vay.
Iirsl, “Iooks don’l mallor!” Tlis is compIolo nonsonso,
and llo offocls of nogIocling your Iooks voro vory cIoar. I
docidod lo gol a faslion consuIling sossion. Tlis Iod lo a
nov vardrobo. In addilion, I kopl mainlaining my faciaI
lair, mado an offorl lo groommysoIf bollor, and gol a nov
laircul, loo. AII of llis mado a big difforonco. Novadays,
somolimos girIs bIalanlIy clock mo oul.
Socond, vonuo soIoclion. Tlis is anollor oxlromoIy impor-
lanl poinl! A normaI, voII-adjuslod guy may nov llink,
“No slil, SlorIock!” — bul somolov llis is nol al aII ob-
vious villin llo soduclion communily. I vouId novor gol
anyvloro in a fral bar llal’s fuII of Ioud obnoxious guys.
Bul vlon I go lo moro Iaid-back pIacos llal allracl an in-
lornalionaI crovd, I do voII ovon vlon I’min a roaIIy bad
mood.
Tlird, individuaI goaIs, slyIo and proforoncos. Tloro is no
¸¸
ono sizo fils aII mollodoIogy. Wlal kind of slyIo you pro-
for, vlicl vonuos you Iiko bosl, andvlal lypo of girI lurns
you on may diffor draslicaIIy bolvoon lvo guys. Imag-
ino lvo guys. Tlo firsl ono las aII llo limo in llo vorId,
Iovos going lo Ioud nigllcIubs, las no monoy, is Iooking
for ono-nigll slands, and profors crazy girIs. Bul llo ollor
ono las a loclic job, vanls somo poaco and quiol in lis
Iifo, doosn’l vanl lo pul mucl offorl inlo llis, and jusl
vanls a roasonabIo girI vill a good porsonaIily. Obvi-
ousIy, vlal vouId vork for llo firsl guy vouIdn’l vork
for llo socond guy al aII. SimiIarIy, somo guy migll novor
ovon lavo loId a girI’s land, vliIo anollor las lad fivo
random clicks a yoar for llo pasl sovon or oigll yoars
and nov vanls lo mool moro ligl-quaIily girIs bocauso
lo llinks lo vanls lo sollIo dovn. Of courso, lloso aro aII
compIoloIy difforonl silualions!
Iourll, succoss ralio. Somolovllis novor gols monlionod
on any IIA vobsilo, bul il is a vory imporlanl faclor. Ior
a guy Iiko mo vlo vorks a domanding job and aIso las
somo lobbios, I can’l possibIy go oul llroo limos a vook
and approacl ovory girI vill llo lopo of golling a ono-
nigll sland. Tloro las lo bo a liglor rolurn on invoslmonl
for mo bocauso my limo is so Iimilod.
Tloro is ono ollor poinl vlicl I vanl lo omplasizo: slan-
dards. I viII laIk aboul llis in groalor dolaiI in a soparalo
claplor Ialor on.
¸¡
Understanding Your
Local Environment
Tloro is anollor vory imporlanl poinl vlicl IIAs faiI lo
monlion and il’s yol anollor oxampIo of lov IIAs fiII
your load vill crap llal al bosl lurns you inlo a sociaI
robol. SoriousIy, you cannol soduco any voman, and you
cannol bang any voman on llo firsl dalo oillor. Iol mo
insload slross vlal I found lo bo lruo: Mooling vomon is
loaviIy dopondonl on your IocaI onvironmonl.
I lavo roaIizod llis vory oxpIicilIy bocauso I lavo lravoIod
a Iol and lavo Iivod in many difforonl counlrios. In somo
onvironmonls you can approacl a girI on llo slrool and
Ialor loxl lor lo mool you for a drink. Slo viII como vill
you, and you can fuck lor llo samo nigll. Bul in moro
consorvalivo onvironmonls you lavo lo mool lor llrougl
a friond or vory casuaIIy, loxl lor a bil, laIk on llo plono,
and llon go for a Iov koy dalo. Aflorvards, you maybo
mool for drinks and llon maybe lavo sox. Tlis vloIo lling
migll pIay oul ovor sovoraI vooks.
IIAs mado mo boIiovo llal any girI can bo soducod on llo
firsl dalo and llal if slo rofusos, slo is probabIy pIaying
gamos vill you. Novor didlloy monlion llal girIs may bo
oxlromoIy conscious or Iack confidonco. Iickup maloriaIs
mado mo boIiovo llal if I don’l acl “supor aIpla” or Iiko
¸¸
a pIayor, slo viII quickIy mool somo ollor pIayor dudo
vlom slo viII fuck immodialoIy. Hock, I boIiovod llal aII
girIs aro sIuls and conslanlIy fuck “aIpla mon.”
Tlo roaIily is moro aIong lloso Iinos: Many vomon con-
slanlIy compIain llal lloy novor mool a doconl guy, Iol
aIono somo supor-caIibralod pIayor. Iurllor, many girIs
jusl von’l lavo sox oulsido of commillod roIalionslips.
Somo vomon may lavo gono many monlls, and somo-
limos ovon yoars villoul laving sox. AIso, vomon aro
mucl moro soIf-conscious and unsuro of llomsoIvos llan
you aro. In facl, many aro so sonsilivo llal if you loaso
llom loo mucl, lloy viII llink you aro an onormous ass-
loIo. Cocky-funny, anyono`
Lvon if you road somo voII-inlonlionod advico from your
favorilo random IIA vlo vrilos llal you slouId movo
faslor, il’s fucking you up monlaIIy bocauso somo girIs aro
jusl nol comforlabIo vill moving aIong quickIy. If a girI
mools you roguIarIy for dalos, laIks lo you on llo plono,
and doosn’l pIay gamos — and you lavo cIoarIy slovn
soxuaI inlorosl! — llon il’s a mallor of limo moro llan
anylling oIso.
Tlo poinl is llal your IocaI onvironmonl is vory imporlanl.
So I boIiovo llo bosl ono can do, vlon Iooking for loIp,
is finding somoono vlo is simiIar lo you vill rogards lo
coro porsonaIily lrails, and vlo is acluaIIy vory good vill
vomon. If you find sucl a guy, llon lry lo lang oul vill
lim. I knov llis is mucl oasior said llan dono, bul il’s
quilo possibIy llo bosl you can do. IIoaso nolo llal lloso
guys mosl IikoIy don’l loacl pickup and lavo novor ovon
loard of llo soduclion communily.
¸6
My Current Situation
I’m an avorago guy in mosl rospocls. If you askod mo for
my numbors, I’d say llal I migll gol sovon girIs llis yoar.
Tlis incIudos vacalions, vloro girIs aro dofiniloIy oasior.
Tlis numbor is basod on llo pasl fov monlls vloro I av-
oragod a IillIo moro llan a girI a monll. Hovovor somo
of lloso voro oxlromoIy Iucky and random. I lavo lakon
llis inlo accounl vlon guosslimaling llis numbor. I lavo
a ligl-prossuro job vlicl I Iovo. I lavo frionds and lob-
bios, bul I aIso Iiko lo focus on my caroor. Tlus I don’l
go oul crazy amounls. Iurllormoro, I’m curronlIy Iiving
in a consorvalivo cily vloro coId approacling is frovnod
upon.
Tlo main lling is llal I don’l boal mysoIf up ovor llo facl
llal I may nol gol girIs aII llo limo. I nov knov llal il’s
roaIIy randomand sovoroIy roslriclod by my onvironmonl
and gonolics. So I don’l boal mysoIf up ovor il. I nov go
aboul my Iifo, and vlon I soo a voman vlo sooms lo bo
signaIing lor inlorosl, I go laIk lo lor. IooI froo lo caII il a
vory Iov-risk approacl, bul I’m acluaIIy vory lappy vill
llo amounl of girIs I gol by foIIoving llis approacl. As a
bonus, llis moans llal I don’l gol rojoclod a Iol anymoro.
Tlis is is goodbocauso I dofiniloIy fooI llal golling rojoclod
a Iol is damaging for anyono’s psyclo in llo Iong run.
I am focusing moro on my caroor lloso days, on vorking
oul, dovoling limo lo my lobbios and on buiIding a roa-
¸;
sonabIo sociaI Iifo. Wlon going oul, my primary focus is
lo Iook good. Tlis las lad a lromondousIy posilivo offocl
on my Iovo Iifo. AIso, nov llal I’m nol so mucl focusod
on doing llo rigll lling, vlicl is a mislako I sliII mako,
my sociaI Iifo is a Iol moro fun llan il las ovor boon.
AdmillodIy, I migll gol moro vomon if I consciousIy vonl
oul and voro moro aggrossivo aboul my Iovo Iifo, bul I’m
lappy vill llo vay I’mdoing il. I novboIiovo llal if I jusl
koop mysoIf in slapo and voar nico cIollos, I viII aIvays
lavo girIs around. HonoslIy, llal vas aII I ovor vanlod
lo gol oul of llis vloIo IIA lling lo bogin vill. I knov
somo guys vanl lo bang 1oo clicks or lavo llroosomos or
somolling Iiko llal. My primary goaI vas jusl lo fooI llal
golling girIs vasn’l roaIIy aII llal difficuIl, and llal if my
curronl girI Iofl mo, or I dumpod lor, I vouIdn’l lavo a
vory lard limo golling somoono nov. I lavo moro llan
acliovod llal and lloroforo I am lappy vill il. Nova-
days, my primary goaI is lo rid mysoIf of llo romaining
IIA voirdnoss in my load and of courso banging nov
clicks and laving fun. Tlal’s novor boring!
¸8
Looking Back
¸q
Glamorization of the
“PUA Journey”
Ono massivo issuo I lavo vill llo IIAcommunily is llal
lloypul llo idoa inyour loadllal golling goodvillvom-
on is an opic journoy. Il’s supposod lo bo a journoy vloro
you lransformyoursoIf, boaling aII odds, and vloro in llo
ond you aron’l IonoIy anymoro and so on and so forll.
Iol’s Iook al a spoocl givon by D} Iuji, a fairIy popuIar
IIA.
¡
Somo say lo is ono of mosl Iogil coaclos oul lloro,
ovon llougl llal may nol moan mucl in llis induslry.
Don’l bollor valcling llo vloIo spoocl — I didn’l. Tlo
firsl fivo lo lon minulos aro onougl.
D} Iuji is using aII llis soIf-loIp pop laIk sluff. Of courso,
lis laIk viII lransform your journoy, mindsol, gamo, and
molivalion. Iislon lov lo laIks aboul laving boon in llo
marinos, ricl, vorking in a nico job and vlalnol. Bul
doop dovn foIl inadoqualo bocauso lo didn’l lavo clicks!
Tloro vas an onormousIy Iong “pain poriod.” You knov,
D} Iuji conslanlIy vonl oul, bul lo ovonluaIIy savIigll al
llo ond of llo lunnoI.
If youdidn’l knovllo conloxl of llo spoocl andjusl loard
parls of il, you vouId bo forgivon lo llink il vas lakon
¡
D} Iuji’s prosonlalion Identifying & Fixing Failure Factors is avaiI-
abIo on YouTubo.
¡1
from a scono in llo movio  llal proparos llo Sparlan
soIdiors for ballIo —vloro a fovlundrodvarriors sIaugl-
lor llo onliro fucking army of Iorsia. Tlon you vouId gol
a rudo avakoning llal, ol, lo’s acluaIIy laIking aboul lil-
ling on clicks. And, no, you slouId nol bo forgivon if you
lry lo oqualo llo lvo.
Wlon you croalo an imago of llis boing sucl an opic jour-
noy, as pickup gurus caII il, llon you’II slarl llinking llal
il is a roaIIy lard lask. You viII llink llal you’II bo abIo
lo do il ono day, and llal if il fooIs supor-oasy, llon you’ro
doing somolling vrong. You’II aIso llink llal lilling on
clicks is nol a normaI lling lo do, bul llal il roquiros oIilo
IovoI skiIIs vlicl onIy an oIilo coacl can loacl you. If you
don’l lavo a girIfriond, you aro boing loId, you slouId fooI
unlappy. Bul llal’s nol aII! Nol laving a girIfriond or nol
golling Iaid roguIarIy is supposod lo undormino and de-
value everything else you lavo acliovod in your Iifo. AII
of llis makos you fooI llal lloro is somolling fundamon-
laIIy vrong vill you or llo vay you soo llo vorId, and
llal you lavo lo clango llis llrougl llo opic journoy you
aro going lo ombark on. I couId vrilo a dozon claplors on
ovorylling llal’s vrong vill llis Iino of llinking.
Wlon I vas going oul, llis coro aspocl of IIA llinking
probabIy larmod mo llo mosl. I loard aII lloso poopIo
saying llal il vas ol-so-lard lo gol your dick vol, and
llal lloro vas an inovilabIo “pain poriod.” Tlo journoy
vas doscribod as boing so rovarding aII by ilsoIf llal you
slouIdn’l uso crulclos. Of courso, anylling llal gols you
Iaidmoro oasiIy is quickIy dismissodas a crulcl. }usl llink
aboul il: If aII I did vas going lo a bar, gol a IillIo bil
drunk, laIkod aboul somo randombuIIslil vill somo ran-
dom girIs vlo soomod inlo mo for vlalovor roason, and
ovonluaIIy vo lad sox — llon of courso lloro vouId bo
absoIuloIy nolling opic aboul il.
SoriousIy, if yousliII llinkaboul pickupboinganopic jour-
¡z
noy, llon pIoaso slop. Iooking back, I don’l llink I lavo
clangod mucl al aII. I probabIy dross a IillIo bollor nov.
I fooI sIigllIy moro comforlabIo oxprossing mysoIf, vlicl
incIudos llal I don’l consor mysoIf loo mucl. I aIso fooI a
IillIo bil moro comforlabIo during plysicaI oscaIalion, and
rojoclion lurls a IillIo Ioss nov. IaslIy, I lavo gollon somo-
vlal bollor al idonlifying girIs vlo aro inloroslod in mo.
I am far from avosomo. I am sliII fairIy avkvard sociaIIy,
and sliII vory bad al flirling. I sliII ond up saying slupid
llings in convorsalions and clickon oul from oscaIaling.
If you vonl oul vill mo, you migll ovon llink llal I am
your lypicaI AIC. Bul I knov llal il’s fino. I am vlo I
am, and lloro aro clicks oul lloro vlo Iiko mo. Hovovor,
il’s roaIIy nol Iiko clicks aro porfocl oillor. Dospilo aII llo
oIilo IIA skiIIs I Iack, I sliII do pick up somo babo ovory
nov and llon. I lavo pIonly of fun, and going oul is nol
ono big opic slruggIo for vlicl I lavo lo proparo mysoIf
by Iisloning lo lapos vlicl pump mo up boforo going oul,
and vlicl adviso mo lo carry proloin bars in my pockol in
caso my onorgy IovoIs drop during llo nigll. You von’l
loar mo slouling var crios in a bar or cIub in ordor lo
pump my slalo oillor, and I corlainIy von’l avoid laving
a drink vlon I fooI Iiko il jusl bocauso somo random IIA
vanls lo loII mo llal aIcoloI is a crulcl.
So go oul lloro, and lavo fun, man! Don’l pul so mucl
prossuro on yoursoIf, al Ioasl nol vlon il comos lo clicks!
Tloro aro roaIIy mucl moro imporlanl llings in Iifo. Ac-
copl llal vo aro aII producls of our gonos and onviron-
monl. Iocus on llings llal aImosl guaranloo llal you’II
gol rosuIls. You knov, vorking oul, drossing voII, mak-
ing frionds, going oul, laving fun, lilling on clicks and
idonlifying vlicl onos migll Iiko you.
IaslIy, if you aro a guy vlo is in slapo, vas parl of llo
marinos, mado six figuros by llo ago of z¸, and aro a soIf-
mado porson vlo ovns a louso you paid for yoursoIf (or
¡¸
if you aro rouglIy in llis baIIpark), llon, for God’s sako,
lako moro prido in your acliovomonls llan D} Iuji.
¸
¸
In no vay slouIdllis claplor bo undorsloodas a confirmalion llal
D} Iuji roaIIy vas parl of llo marinos or lad acliovod ovorylling lo
cIaimodlo lad. Il’s aImosl a running joko llal IIAs doscribo lovlloy
mado six figuros bul voro fooIing so omply insido, and llal lloy ovon-
luaIIy found lloir lruo caIIing, vlicl vas drossing Iiko a cIovn and
loIIing virgins lov lo lil on clicks. If you doubl somoono’s cIaimod
acliovomonls, llon bollor bo skoplicaI. Il’s quilo IikoIy llal lo or slo
is jusl making il up. — A. S.
¡¡
Rejection Doesn’t
Matter
Iol’s nov laIk aboul llo “rojoclion doosn’l mallor” alli-
ludo, vlicl is llo vory fucking basis of llo onliro IIA
communily. I vanl lo discuss llis alliludo and lov il po-
lonliaIIy Ioads lo oxlromoIy anli-sociaI bolavior. I’II aIso
covor in somo dolaiI vly il is IiloraIIy llo coro roason vly
IIA is Iiko a cuIl, vly llis induslry is sucl a scam and
vly llis von’l clango.
Iol’s say somo avorago guy discovors llo IIA induslry.
Ho lasn’l boon vory succossfuI vill vomon in lis Iifo.
Ono big roason for llis is llal lo IikoIy caros vay loo mucl
aboul vlal ollors llink of lim. So lo is loId llal rojoclion
doosn’l mallor. So far so good. Ho goos oul, lrios oul somo
slupid Iinos, loclniquos and vlal nol, and gols rojoclod
a buncl of limos. Ho llinks llal somolling isn’l rigll.
Bul llon lis coacl loIIs lim, “Dudo, rojoclion doosn’l mal-
lor! You aro improving. Il’s Iiko laking baby slops, and
you’ro laking ono slop aflor anollor. Wlon you camo lo
mo, you couIdn’l approacl, bul nov you can. }usl koop
going, man!” IroslIy inspirod, lo koops going, bul il’s llo
samo slory: lo gols rojoclod again and again.
Horo is vloro il slarls lo gol slady. Tlo poinl is, consis-
lonlIy boing rojoclod is a sign llal somolling isn’l vork-
¡¸
ing. Somolling obviousIy noods lo bo clangod. Hovovor,
loro llo IIA gurus say, “Dudo, rojoclion doosn’l mallor.
You aro improving. Ollors don’l ovon undorsland vlal
vo aro doing loro. CoId approacl is fucking lard, man!”
Ho koops going. Nol roaIizing vlal an anli-sociaI and
monlaIIy fuckodupporson lo is lurning inlo, lo jusl koops
going. Tlo ollor fuckod up dudos in llo “communily”
vlo can roIalo lo lis silualion onIy mako il vorso. Slalo-
monls Iiko lloso llon sIovIy isoIalo lim from normaI so-
cioly, allacl lim lo ollor simiIarIy fuckod up poopIo and
koop ampIifying llis cuIl-Iiko probIom. Sinco lo llinks
ollors in normaI socioly aro lolaIIy slupid and can’l un-
dorsland vlal lo is doing, lo onIy Iislons lo poopIo vlo
lavo ombarkod on llo samo so-caIIod opic journoy.
Tlo probIom is llal llo guys in llo soduclion communily
aro loo fuckod up llomsoIvos, so of courso lloy can’l laIk
slraigll. Wlon lloso fuckod up dudos laIk amongsl oacl
ollor, no ono roaIIy admils llal noillor of llom is golling
Iaid. No ono laIks aboul lov lloy loo lavo boon doubl-
ing vlollor llis IIA journoy is roaIIy vorll il. Somoono
migll ovon bo vory buIIisl on IIA unliI llal poinl. AII
lloso poopIo llink llal picking up girIs is supposod lo bo
roaIIy difficuIl. NaluraIIy, you’vo gol lo koop a brollor
going, so lloy spur lim on insload of admilling llo lrull
lo llomsoIvos and ollors. As a rosuIl, llo probIom gols
vorso and vorso.
Do you soo llo poinl` Do you roaIizo lov lloso slalo-
monls and alliludos, vlon ovorusod, ampIify llo cuIl-Iiko
fooIing so mucl and provonl any objoclivily, and koop you
from ovor sooing llo Iigll` In llo noxl claplor I’II laIk
aboul llo ollor sido of llo probIom, vlicl is a Iol vorso,
and lov, vlon coaclos lavo a simiIar alliludo, llo indus-
lry as a vloIo dogrados and lurns inlo nolling bul a gianl
scam.
¡6
Rejection Still Doesn’t
Matter
Iol mo loII you lovllo “rojoclion doosn’l mallor” alliludo
koops ovon llo somovlal Iogil coaclos from sooing llo
Iigll, and koops vorsoning llo slalo of llis induslry. As-
sumo llo avorago dudo from llo provious claplor koops
going. LvonluaIIy lo oillor bocomos loo fuckod up in lis
mind and quils, or maybo, jusl maybo, aflor laving dono
onougl approaclos, and in spilo of aII lis cognilivo dis-
sonanco, lo bocomos somovlal doconl vill vomon. Tlis
may onIy bo in lis load, llougl, bocauso lo isn’l roaIIy
avaro llal lo’s onIy golling a fov vomon bocauso lo ap-
proaclos sucl an onormous numbor of llom. Tlus, lo
docidos lo loIp ollor avorago guys lo improvo lloir Iovo
Iifo. Ho sliII boIiovos in llis opic journoy, and lovil lrans-
forms Iivos. Of courso, lis journoy las corlainIy boon opic.
Al llis slago, lis inlonlions aro somovlal Iogil, dospilo llo
facl llal lo’s boing fairIy fuckod up in lis load.
Good oxampIos of llis calogory soom lo bo D} Iuji, or my
socond coacl in NYC, Rob }udgo. AcluaIIy, lloso days,
givon llo kind of sluff llal dudo novadays promolos and
lrios lo soII, I soriousIy doubl if lo ovon bollors boIioving
llal lo is lrying lo loIp ollors. A parl of mo is soriousIy
aslamod and ombarrassod llal I boIiovod in llal guy onco
and llal I soriousIy considorod inviling lim oul vill my
¡;
roguIar normaI frionds. Tloro is a good clanco llal lloso
dudos lavo aII road Tim Iorriss’ The -Hour Workweek by
nov, andllink llal IIAcoacling andils associalodprod-
ucls aro llo porfocl vay lo Iivo llo ¡-lour vorkvook Iifo-
slyIo.
I knovlloro aro coaclos oul lloro vlo lavo boon jusl lolaI
scams rigll from llo off, bul I fooI llal a Iol of coaclos aro
somovlal voII-inlonlionod. Hovovor, by nov, lloy aro
loo brainvaslodlo soo any objoclivily andaro on difforonl
IovoIs of crazy. You can soo llis among roguIar guys in
llo communily as voII. I romombor somo dudo on llo
RSD forum and anollor ono on Zan Iorrion’s forum vlo
voro boll saying lovaflor 1,ooo approaclos, fromvlicl
lloy didn’l gol anylling, lloy sliII gonuinoIy boIiovod llal
ollors slouId fooI inspirod by lloir journoy.
So, al llis poinl vo aro facod vill a IIA vlo is aII aboul
loIping ollors. Tloro is a lugo probIomrigll fromllo gol-
go. Tlo guys vlo aro Iooking for loIp aro lolaIIy cIuoIoss
and vory IikoIy aIroady loo far avay from roaIily. Tloy
lavo no cIuo vlal succoss vill vomon moans and lov
lo roaIIy acliovo il. Hov plono numbors don’l moan slil.
Hov maybo aII you nood lo do is go oul, laIk lo a fov
vomon, and jusl oscaIalo if slo Iikos you. Maybo bo a Iil-
lIo roaIislic aboul vlal caIibor of vomon you can and can-
nol gol. Tloso guys aro oasiIy vovod. Ior mosl of llom,
jusl boing abIo lo approacl a fov good Iooking girIs and
golling a numbor moans, “You clangod my Iifo, man!” I
knov llis is vlal I foIl aflor my firsl lvo or llroo plono
numbors fromcoIdapproacling. I foIl llal I ladsomolov
slumbIod upon a liddon lroasuro no ono knov aboul.
So llo coacl gols a fovcIionls, anda Iol of llomsay, “Wov
dudo, you’vo clangod my Iifo! Tlis is so avosomo. Tlank
you so mucl!” Of courso, anyono vouId gol a kick and a
ligl fromllal. Nov, if somo dudo comos lo limand says,
“I can gol numbors nov, llanks a Iol. You clangod my
¡8
Iifo.” — of courso llo coacl is nol going lo sIap lim and
say, “Tlis doosn’l moan slil! ToII mo llal I’vo clangod
your Iifo onco you gol Iaid roguIarIy vill lol girIs, and
vlon your succoss ralio is roasonabIo. InliI llon don’l
llank mo!” Iosl-boolcamp ligls, sporadic loslimoniaIs
vloro a guy randomIy picks up a lol girI and llo Iiko jusl
makos il vorso. LvonluaIIy llo coacl viII llink llal lo
roaIIy doos lavo spociaI povors. Ho jusl fooIs groal llal
lo is loIping so many poopIo and is making a Iiving oul
il. Wlal couId possibIy bo bollor`
Tlon many monlls Ialor, ono of lis cIionls onds up finding
Aaron SIoazy’s vobsilo and lis book Debunking the Seduc-
tion Community. Ho roads llrougl il, roflocls on lis ovn
oxporioncos and roaIizos lov lo las boon doIuding lim-
soIf for aII llis limo and sonds a slinking nogalivo roviov
lo lis coacl. Ho lrios lo loIp lim a bil, laIk lo lim bul llo
cIionl loIIs llo coacl lo gol llo loII avay from lim. Tlo
coacl llinks, “Rojoclion doosn’l mallor. Dudo, you can’l
pIoaso ovoryono. I’mgolling aII lloso posilivo ropIios from
cIionls vlo loII mo I lavo clangod lloir Iivos, so, voII, ono
misguidod guy loIIing mo I’m a scam doosn’l moan slil.”
Ho focusos on cIionls vlo cIaim llal lo las lad an im-
pacl on llom. Bul llo probIomonIy gols compoundod bo-
causo somo guys novor vako up, vliIo ollors, ovon vlon
lloy vako up, aro loo ombarrassod lo laIk aboul il and
novor vrilo aboul lloir nogalivo oxporioncos. Ollors jusl
movo on and llink, “Yoal, Iol’s forgol aboul llis. I vas
slupid. Iol’s jusl movo on.” Tlo ollor sido of llo coin
is llal slupid poopIo vlo gol plono numbors aro golling
vay loo oxcilod and vrilo a Iol aboul lloir posilivo ox-
porioncos. Tlus, llo combinalion of llo rojoclion doosn’l
mallor pliIosoply, vory fov nogalivo roviovs, and Iols of
fako posilivo roviovs novor Iol llo coacl soo llo Iigll.
AII of llis ovonluaIIy Ioads lo juslifying docoplivo markol-
ing andscammy producls. Acoaclslarls roaIizing llal il’s
¡q
nol oasy lo soII producls, and llal llo onIy polonliaI vay
lo do il is lo gol sIigllIy scammy, and lo oxaggoralo llings
a IillIo bil: “Bul, loy, al Ioasl my producl is roaIIy good!”,
lo koops loIIing limsoIf. Onco again, lloro aro fov noga-
livo roviovs, and a Iol of posilivo onos, and sinco nogalivo
roviovs don’l mallor, lo llinks llis is groal. Novlo frooIy
usos scammy markoling lo soII producls. Soon llis vloIo
lling jusl dogonoralos. AIso, bocauso of lis idoa lo focus
onIy on “poopIo lo can loIp” and “guys vlo roaIIy vanl
lo clango,” lo koops vorsoning llo silualion. You knov,
lo jusl can’l pIoaso ovoryono.
Do you soo novlovlloso alliludos affocl ovon somovlal
Iogil poopIo` Tako inlo accounl lov somo poopIo nalu-
raIIy caro vory IillIo aboul ollics vlon il comos lo making
monoy, vliIo ollors aro jusl oulrigll scammy, and you
soo vly llo soduclion induslry is vlal il is.
To concIudo, pIoaso bo carofuI vlon you adopl llo alli-
ludo llal “rojoclion doosn’l mallor.” Golling rojoclod a Iol
loIIs you llal somolling is soriousIy vrong. Ior an avor-
ago guy, llis is normaIIy nol a probIom bocauso lo londs
lo gol rojoclod quickIy, and a Iol of limos il’s for a roason
llal is nol roIalod lo lim. Tlis moans il’s prolly okay. Ior
a coacl llougl, assuming you roaIIy do caro aboul loIp-
ing poopIo, and llis is a big if, pIoaso pay carofuI allonlion
lo ovory nogalivo roviov, bocauso mosl cIionls don’l knov
vlal llo fuck lloy aro laIking aboul vlon lloy sond you a
posilivo ono. AIso, lloro aro many casos vloro you didn’l
loIp somoono and don’l loar aboul il bocauso lloy don’l
loII you aboul il. Tloy aro simpIy ombarrassod, or lloy ro-
aIizod llal lloy lavo boon dupod, and docidod lo simpIy
movo on vill lloir Iifo.
¸o
The Importance of
Spare Time
Ono of llo major issuos I lavo aIvays lad vill IIA ad-
vico, incIuding aII llo IIAs vlo robrandod llomsoIvos
as daling and IifoslyIo coaclos, is lloir ono-sizo-fils-aII ap-
proacl lo llo onliro subjocl. RaroIy do lloy monlion vlal
ago group lloir advico is mosl suilabIo for. Iikoviso, lloy
soIdom monlion llo cilios or counlrios lloir porsonaI ox-
porionco is basod on, or vlal kind of IifoslyIo lloy Ioad.
Hovmucl monoy lloy mako, or in vlal kindof sociaI cir-
cIo lloy movo, is simiIarIy svopl undor llo rug. Il vouId
bo imporlanl lo knov aboul lloso aspocls, llougl.
I llink llal a Iol of fruslralion guys lavo vill IIA ad-
vico vouId bo avoidod if lloso “gurus” poinlod oul llal
you nood lo lavo pIonly of froo limo or al llo vory Ioasl
somo floxibiIily in your scloduIo. }usl Iook al your lyp-
icaI daling vobsilo! Tloy froquonlIy rocommond going
oul llroo or four niglls a vook, and loII you lo approacl
al Ioasl lon vomon a nigll. Bul llal’s nol aII. Of courso,
you’ro aIso supposod lo approacl vomon on llo slrool,
in supor markols, and slopping maIIs. Il aImosl sooms
llal no mallor vlal you do, mako suro you can approacl
somo clicks. Hock, ono coacl loId mo I slouId do a “¸o
day claIIongo.” Tlis vouId lavo moanl going oul ovory
singIo fucking day for llirly days slraigll. Wlon I Iookod
¸1
skoplicaI, llal coacl vonl on lo cIaim llal lo lad boon
going oul ovory nigll for somolling Iiko llroo yoars.
Nov llo firsl llougll llal comos lo your load is proba-
bIy llal llis is quilo somo commilmonl — and il is! Wlon
you quoslion llis, llo lypo of rosponso a coacl viII mosl
froquonlIy givo you is of llo “no pain, no gain” varioly, or
llo lacknoyod rloloricaI quoslion, “Bro, aro you sorious
aboul landIing llis aroa of your Iifo or nol`” If you buy
inlo llis, llon mooling vomon, or jusl sociaIizing in gon-
oraI, quickIy lurns inlo nolling bul a drag. I romombor
loIIing my coacl ono day llal I don’l fooI llal Imgolling a
good rolurn for my limo for llis onliro “approacling ran-
dom vomon and doaIing vill buIIslil alliludos” lling.
Ho loId mo nol lo vorry, and llal I slouId jusl koop do-
ing il, bocauso ovonluaIIy il viII pay off. Tlal vas aII lo
lad lo say lo my Iogilimalo objoclions.
Anyvay, my poinl is llal lypicaI IIA advico jusl doosn’l
vork for somoono vlo Ioads a normaI Iifo, consisling of
a day job, sooing frionds loro and lloro, and pursuing a
lobby or lvo. A roIalod poinl is llo quoslion of roaIis-
lic oxpoclalions of your lypicaI guy. Aaron SIoazy las
laIkod aboul llis boforo and I compIoloIy agroo vill lis
oslimalos: if sucl a guy gols fivo girIs a yoar, llon lo’s do-
ing doconlIy for limsoIf. If lo gols around lon vomon a
yoar, llon lo is doing roaIIy, roaIIy voII. An irony is llal
onougl IIAs vlo dovolo lloir onliro Iifo lo golling girIs
don’l ovon gol llal many vomon. Yol, for somo slrango
roason guIIibIo mon assumo llal ovoryono vlo prosonls
limsoIf as a pickup guru gols girIs Iofl, rigll and conlor.
In my oxporionco, aII llo guys I mol vlo gol a Iol of clicks
voro, villoul oxcoplion, poopIo vlo lad a Iol of limo on
lloir lands or voro viIIing lo dodicalo aImosl ovory lour
oulsido vork lo mooling vomon and sociaIizing. Havo
a Iook al mosl of llo IIAs vlo do voII, Iiko }offy from
RSD, Clris and Scolly from Good Iooking Iosor, or my
¸z
coacl vlo lad boon going oul ovory nigll for llroo yoars.
AII of llom laIk lo a Iol of vomon praclicaIIy ovory day.
Lvon Aaron SIoazy limsoIf did lis bosl vlon lo lad a Iol
of sparo limo. Il’s oillor llal, or somoono vlo jusl mools
lons and lons of vomon llrougl lis job. I knov a fov
sucl guys. Ono is a slruggIing modoI and aclor, llo ollor
a modoI agonl, and llo Iasl ono a barlondor.
I’II slaro my ovn oxporioncos as voII. During mosl of my
Iifo aflor coIIogo, I lavo loId a ligl-profiIo job. Bosidos llo
porks of sucl a job, llis aIso lransIalod lo a Iol of slross and
an incrodibIo limo commilmonl. I raroIy lad mucl limo
for mysoIf, and corlainIy nol onougl lo slay unliI cIosing
limo in a cIub or bar lvo or llroo niglls por vook. Taking
my ollor sociaI commilmonls inlo accounl, I lad baroIy
any limo Iofl for mysoIf. Of courso llis aIso moanl llal I
didn’l gol many clicks. Hov slouId I ovon lavo fil llom
inlo my busy Iifo` WouId I lavo lriod lo clango llis silua-
lion and forco mysoIf lo mool many vomon, il vouId lavo
affoclod my porformanco on llo job llo noxl day. Bul on
llo ollor land, vlonovor I vas on vacalion or jusl lad
somo limo off, llo vloIo vomon issuo aulomalicaIIy dis-
appoarod.
I roconlIy quil my job in ordor lo slarl my ovn businoss.
In llo lransilion poriod I lad Iols of limo for mysoIf. My
sociaI Iifo and llo numbor of vomon in my Iifo incroasod
dramalicaIIy aImosl ovornigll. Tlo roason vas simpIy
llal I lad a Iol of limo lo kiII. I vouId go oul randomIy
llroo lo fivo niglls a vook and slick around unliI cIosing
limo. If an ovonl finislod oarIy, I vouId arrango lo lang
oul vill somo poopIo aflorvards. Wlon I vasn’l onlor-
laining frionds and frionds of frionds I lad drinks vill
somo random poopIo. Going on a dalo vill a so-so girI or
jusl going oul soomod a bollor oplion llan slaying al lomo
and valcling yol anollor TV slov or movio. Of courso,
my sociaI Iifo ondod up boing avosomo. Hovovor, llo
¸¸
momonl llo paco pickod up al my novvonluro, my sociaI
Iifo moro or Ioss ovaporalod.
Tlo lako-avay mossago is simpIo. If you’ro an avorago
guy, llon don’l road up on llo oxpIoils of somo random
dudo on llo Inlornol and gol aII doprossod. Tlo slorios
aro oillor compIoloIy faIso or omboIIislod, and in llo raro
caso llal lloy roflocl llo lrull, llon lo vas in a posilion
llal mado il oasy for limlo gol Iaid. }usl lako inlo accounl
llal ovoryono’s Iifo circumslancos aro difforonl. Of courso,
if you don’l lavo mucl limo anyvay, you probabIy vanl
lo roclargo in llo ovoning or on llo vookond insload of
lilling on somo random broads in a cIub.
¸¡
Hypersocial Women
I lavo aImosl compIoloIy sloppod roading IIA vobsilos.
Hovovor, any limo I do road somolling I gol onragod al
llo buIIslil poopIo vrilo, vlicl soriousIy makos mo quos-
lion vlollor vo Iivo on llo samo pIanol.
6
Iol’s laIk aboul llo IIA boIiof llal “allraclivo vomon”
aro aIvays going oul, and aIvays mooling ollor guys. If
you pIan your dalos, you lloroforo bollor pick a Monday
or Tuosday nigll bocauso ovory ollor day of llo vook lor
sociaI caIondar is so bIoody packod. You bollor do somo-
lling supor-inlorosling so llal slo is compoIIod lo say yos,
and sond oul cIovor dalo invilos Iiko “up for a gamo of
pooI vill NYC voirdos and soccor moms”, a Iino from
Rob }udgo, bocauso if you don’l mako yoursoIf sound ro-
aIIy inlorosling llon, voII, slo’s jusl going lo mool aII lloso
ollor fabuIous guys vlo viII fuck lor insload.
I don’l knov in vlicl vorId lloso IIA coaclos Iivo in,
bul in my vorId, going oul a Iol and boing sociaI roquiros
limo, onorgy and, mosl imporlanlIy, money. Hovovor, if
a girI las llo monoy lo go oul a Iol, llis vouId normaIIy
moan llal slo las a doconl job — bul llis aulomalicaIIy
moans llal slo von’l lavo aII llo limo in vorId. Tlo onIy
aclivily I can imagino llal may nol roquiro monoy is if a
6
Sinn’s bIog posl “GirIs as Oplions Tradors” is rosponsibIo for llis
claplor.
¸¸
girI goos cIubbing vloro slo can moocl off somo cIub pro-
molor. Tlal’s il.
;
Iol’s pul llo fanlasios of IIAs asido for a momonl. My
ovn oxporionco loIIs mo llal mosl vomon compIain a Iol
aboul lovlloy novor mool a doconl guy, andlavon’l gono
on a sorious dalo for quilo a vliIo. Ol, and normaIIy il’s
boon a Iong limo sinco lloy’vo gollon Iaid, loo. I’m suro
a Iol of guys lavo oxporioncod llal vlon lloy slarl lav-
ing sox vill a novgirI, il oflon sooms Iiko slo jusl can’l gol
onougl of il. AII of llis is a big roason vly girIs, onco lloy
gol inlo a roIalionslip, jusl don’l vanl lo Iol go bocauso
finding anollor doconl guy lakos sucl a Iol of offorl. Tlo
porconlago of girIs vlo aro conslanlIy going oul, sociaI-
izing aII llo limo, and lopping from dalo lo dalo is vory
smaII indood. I’d bo surprisod if il vas moro llan a fov
porconl.
Nov Iol’s laIk aboul my ovn sociaI caIondar. I’vo gol a
slrossfuI job, vlicl moans llal I’musuaIIy a bil lirod aflor
vork during llo vook and don’l roaIIy lavo a Iol of on-
orgy Iofl. My lobbios lako somo limo and I lavo normaI
frionds I Iiko lo mool as voII. So, voII, I don’l oxaclIy lavo
a Iol of limo on vookdays. AIso, I’mcorlainIy nol going lo
scloduIo ovorylling in my Iifo around mooling vomon.
Spoaking of scloduIing dalos, I can onIy adviso you lo
scloduIo llom vlonovor llo fuck you aro froo. If you aro
onIy froo during llo vookonds, ask lor oul on llo vook-
ond. If slo’s nol froo, assuming slo Iikos you, llo lvo of
you viII bo abIo lo figuro oul a limo llal vorks for boll
of you. If slo Iivos far avay from you, llon of courso you
von’l scloduIo llo dalo noxl lo your pIaco. Tlis is nol so
;
Hovovor, ovon if a girI is so voII connoclod llal slo can go cIub-
bing for froo, slo vouId normaIIy sliII lavo lo spond a Iol of monoy
on sloos, drossos, and makoup. Any oxcoplions you couId llink of
vouId bo loo romolo lo llo vorId of IIAs, Iiko ricl loirossos vlo jol-
sol around llo vorId. — A. S.
¸6
llal you mako il oasy for lor lo say yos — il sounds loo
mucl Iiko, “Ol, pIoaso Iord, I lopo slo says yos!” No, il’s
simpIy bocauso you vanl somolling llal vorks for boll
of you! Tlal’s al Ioasl vlal normaI luman boings do.
Daling onIy vorks if both of you want it. Hovovor, llis
is a concopl vlicl, for vlalovor roason, IIAs jusl don’l
soomlo undorsland. If slo Iikos you, slo viII vanl lo mool
up and go oul on a dalo vill you. Tlis moans llal slo’II
vork vill you, and nol againsl you. You aro nol vork-
ing againsl llo girI nor aro you lrying lo snoakiIy gol lor
lo say yos, and you corlainIy von’l ovor pul your dick in
lor pussy villoul lor roaIizing il. So jusl slop lrying lo
bo ol-so cIovor and pul so mucl prossuro on yoursoIf.
On aII llo dalos I lavo boon on, llo girIs voro vory forll-
coming and lrying lo find a pIaco llal vas convonionl for
mo as voII as lor. Tlis is llo bolavior of normaI poopIo.
Bul if you road IIA arlicIos, you may llink llal if you’vo
founda girI vlo acls Iiko llal, you’vo foundsomoono spo-
ciaI. I can assuro you llal llis is nol llo caso. NormaI poo-
pIo aro llo norm, and crazy voirdos llo oxcoplion.
Tloro is ono Iasl lling I vanl lo monlion. Iook al llo
arlicIo I roforoncod. Il’s a vory lypicaI oxampIo of lov
IIAs svoop qqº porconl of vlal roaIIy mallors undor
llo rug and focus on llo romaining 1º. In llis arlicIo,
Sinn loIIs you lo ignoro casos vloro you omolionaIIy con-
noclod vill llo girI, or vloro slo is nov in lovn and
doosn’l knovmany poopIo, or vloro youmol lor llrougl
frionds, or vloro slo is singIo andaclivoIy Iooking lo dalo.
So, basicaIIy, Sinnis giving youadvico onvlal lo do aboul
vomon vlo you did nol omolionaIIy connocl vill. Iur-
llor, slo is nol supposod lo bo nov lo lovn. Slo knovs a
Iol of poopIo, and you did nol mool lor llrougl frionds.
Il jusl gols bollor and bollor, bocauso llo kind of girI Sinn
loIIs you lo focus on is not single and not actively looking to
date oillor. I’II Ioavo il up lo you lo figuro oul ovorylling
¸;
llal’s vrong vill llal posilion.
¸8
Fake Anti-PUA PUAs
Tloro is a plonomonon I’m nolicing lloso days: A Iol of
IIAs aro calcling on lo llo fako anli-IIA lrain. Iol mo
oxpIain vlal I moan by llal. Iirsl, lloy viII a lavo fov
cuslomary posls on lov IIA sluff doosn’l vork. Ialor
on, lloy loII you llal Iooks aro nol noarIy as unimporlanl
as “ollor IIAs” cIaimand llal il’s roaIIy a numbors gamo
in llo ond — “Bul sliII, dudo, gamo vorks! AII of vlal
RSD, Iovo Sysloms and ollors loacl is crap. “Bul, dudo,
loro, lako my advico! Il vorks!”
Boforo I vrilo anylling furllor, I vouId Iiko poopIo lo road
a parlicuIar commonl vrillon on llo bIog The Black Pill. I
amnol saying vlollor llo vobsilo is good or nol, bul jusl
llal llis commonl is roaIIy nico. Il slovs lov ovon guys
vlo cIaim lo bo somovlal lonosl aro sliII crap.
8
8
Tlo foIIoving commonl las boon roproducod from Tlo BIack IiII
and sIigllIy odilod for roadabiIily. A usor namod Kovin vrilos:
Roosl is invoIunlariIy lonosl. Ho doos nol sol oul lo bo
lonosl. Infacl, lo oxpIicilIy cIaims llal gamo is roaI anda
major parl of lis succoss. Bul if you lavo any brain and
road bolvoon llo Iinos, lo prolly mucl admils slraigll
oul llal gamo doos nol vork and llal il’s aII aboul num-
bors. Ho admils llis again and again and again, bul lis
roadors don’l soom lo drav llo obvious concIusion. Il’s
surroaI.
Lillor Roosl is incrodibIy cIovor al markoling or a com-
pIolo idiol vlo slumbIod onlo an imporlanl facl aboul
¸q
Iol’s Iook al somo oxampIos of IIAs vlo aro on llo fako
anli-IIA lrain. Iirsl up, Sinn. Ho las a fov posls on lov
lo lalos SlyIo, lovlo lalos llo ollor IIAs giving crappy
advico and so on and so forll. Bul llon lo comos up vill
a posl caIIod “Iivo Typos of CoId Roads.” Iiko, roaIIy,
dudo`! And you aro saying llal ollor IIAs aro crap`
lis audionco. Wlon lo makos lloso “candid” posls
aboul lov gamo doos nol vork, lo is lrying lo boosl
lis crodibiIily and mako limsoIf “roIalo” lo llo slruggIos
and faiIuros of lis roadorslip. Tlo lling is, anyono vill
a brain soon roaIizos llal Roosl is providing slrong and
ropoalod ovidonco llal gamo doos nol vork, and any-
ono vlo las llo kindof porsonaIily lo roIigiousIy boIiovo
in gamo acluaIIy doos roIalo lo Roosl and compIoloIy
faiIs lo connocl llo dols and soo llal Roosl is pracli-
caIIy scroaming al lim, again and again, llal gamo doos
nol vork. Nov, llo crilicaI llinking guys vlo vouId
dravllo obvious concIusions fromRoosl’s posls vouId
lavo Iofl gamo soonor or Ialor anyvays, andllo roIigious
lypos aro compIoloIy irralionaI anyvays, so lloy com-
pIoloIy ignoro vlal Roosl is acluaIIy saying and jusl “ro-
Ialo” lo lis faiIuros on an omolionaI IovoI. Il is oillor a
briIIianl slralogy or a compIoloIy accidonlaI laclic llal is
a goodoxampIo of an idiol succooding dospilo lis incrod-
ibIo idiocy, lock, bocauso of lis idiocy.
InloroslingIy, I usod lo foIIov Roosl, and lis ropoalod
soIf-admillod faiIuros vill gamo and vomon vas ono
imporlanl faclor in golling mo lo quoslion gamo: Roosl
vrolo llis book aboul lis lravoIs in Soull Amorica,
vlicl I road, in vlicl lo ropoalodIy dolaiIs lis faiIuros
vill vomon. Il’s quilo cIoar llal lo lad praclicaIIy no
succoss vill gamo in Soull Amorica and givos llis Iov-
ingIy doscribod oxampIo of llis IlaIian guy vlo lo says
did ovorylling absoIuloIy conlrary lo gamo and yol vas
lugoIy succossfuI vill llo vomon, lo llo poinl vloro
somo vomon voro llroving llomsoIvos al lim. Roosl
llon says llal llis guy vas jusl a bizarro oulIior bul gamo
sliII vorks! Again, oillor lo is an irralionaI vacko, or lo
las a fiondisl grasp of llo irralionaIily of lis audionco
and lloir appolilo for cognilivo dissonanco.
6o
Noxl, Rob }udgo. Ho cIaims ropoalodIy on lis vobsilo llal
IIA is doad and vly IIA advico is crap. Yol, lo comos
up vill a producl in vlicl lo soIIs a spociaI “syslom”
for golling vomon. Ho caIIs il I. L. R. A. vlicl slands for
focus, omolion, rapporl and arousaI. Tlis sounds suspi-
ciousIy simiIar lo Myslory Mollod, doosn’l il` Ho givos
advico Iiko you slouId you uso “Slalomonl RouIollo,” “¸
slop and spin” and vlalnol. Ho aIso soIIs producls mon-
lioning “; Slops lo gol Womon,” “Socrols lo golling IHM
Covor lol ModoIs Bonding Ovor Backvard for you” and
so on and so forll.
Anollor random vobsilo vlicl I camo across vas caIIod
Why I hate being a PUA. Imagino a guy vriling an arlicIo
Iiko llis and soIIing or affiIialo markoling a producl al llo
bollom vill llo lag Iino, “Ask lor lloso ¸ quoslions sci-
onlisls uso lo gol Iaid… And you’II gol lor, ovory limo!
CIick loro lo discovor a ’simpIo lrick’, so youcansoo insido
any voman’s mind and knov oxaclIy vlal slo is llink-
ing aboul you.. InslanlIy and absoIuloIy froo.” IunniIy
onougl, aflor I caIIod lim oul on my bIog, lo romovod
llal parl.
I can givo Iols and Iols of sucl oxampIos. Tako D} Iuji. Ho
is probabIy al llo forofronl of llo soomingIy-Iogil-IIA-
bul-acluaIIy-nol movomonl. Ho says you slouId vork on
your fundamonlaIs bul llon says llal vlon lo’s coacl-
ing you, lo viII givo you a cuslomizod roulino slack lo
“aulomalo your vorbaIs.” Ho says you slouId lavo roa-
sonabIo slandards, bul on lis vobsilo you’II find: “Hov
a ¸’¡” lubby asian puIIs modoIs, slrippors and bIazing sox
goddossos fromllo lollosl cIubs andcan loacl youlovlo
do llo samo in llroo slorl days.” Ho vas aIso lrying lo do-
fond limsoIf, unsuccossfuIIy, on llo lopic of IIA in somo
onIino convorsalion and said llal lo viII domonslralo llo
“lardosl” sol of llo nigll. Words can’l doscribo lovmucl
is vrong vill ovon sponding a momonl of your focus on
61
sucl a lling. Ho said vlon lo mools lon cIionls, four of
llom lalo lim bul six Iiko lim and lo focusos on lloso.
To concIudo, pIoaso slay as far avay from IIAs as pos-
sibIo. Lvon if somoono sooms somovlal Iogil and cIaims
llal “ollor IIA sluff” doosn’l vork, or lo doosn’l roaIIy
llink of limsoIf as a IIA — Zan Iorrion comos lo mind
and, yos, lo’s jusl as bad as ollors if nol mucl vorso —,
lo is sliII aImosl corlainIy a lolaI scam.
6z
If you are Skeptical of
Anti-PUAs
Tloro lavo boon a coupIo of inslancos roconlIy vloro I gol
inlo a dobalo of pro-IIA vorsus anli-IIA poopIo. Tlis
jusl mado mo vanl lo vrilo aboul my ovn oxporioncos
and lovI, loo, vas pro-IIAal llo boginning, lovI grov
sIovIy skoplicaI and lov I ovonluaIIy droppod anylling
roIalod lo “gamo.”
You broadIy knov my slory and vlal oxporioncos Iod mo
lo vloro I sland loday vill my viov on IIA. Rigll nov
I vanl lo laIk aboul a sIigllIy difforonl aspocl. Tlis is pri-
mariIy aimod al poopIo vlo aro lonoslIy lrying lo figuro
llis slil oul for llomsoIvos. Maybo lloy roaIizo lloro’s
somolling vrong vill IIA, bul llink llal poopIo Iiko
Aaron SIoazy or llo vobsilo Soduclionmyll.com aro loo
oxlromo in lloir viovs, and llal lloro sliII is somo vaIid-
ily of al Ioasl somo of llo sluff IIAs loacl. I can aIroady
assuro you lloro is nono, bul I jusl vanl lo laIk aboul llis
for a bil.
I novor soriousIy bollorod vill roulinos, oIiciling lor vaI-
uos, or any of llo ollor llings IIAs poddIo. Hovovor,
vlonovor I lavo usod somolling, il jusl novor vorkod. I
gol Iols of plono numbors rigll from my firsl day of coId
approacling. Yol, I novor gol anyvloro vill llom. Iron-

icaIIy, I vonl llo farllosl vill clicks vlon I compIoloIy
droppod gamo aIlogollor. I vas jusl laIking normaIIy lo
girIs vlo slovod a Iol of inlorosl slraigll avay. Rigll
from llo boginning, lloy conlribulod loaviIy lo llo inlor-
aclion llomsoIvos, sucl as silling vill mo and ignoring
lloir frionds for a vliIo and llo Iiko.
Wlon I firsl camo across poopIo Iiko Aaron SIoazy or Sixly
I llougll lloy voro loo oxlromo. SIoazy basicaIIy says in
Debunking the Seduction Community, “Work oul and dross
voII. Bo a normaI sociaI guy vill frionds and lobbios.
Iick an onvironmonl in vlicl you fooI comforlabIo, and
don’l fuck il up vill girIs vlo Iiko you!” Sixly loIIs you
lo approacl Iols of girIs, Iook for a girI vlo doosn’l rojocl
you, and oscaIalo fasl and loavy. Tlal’s aII.
Tlo IIA communily says llal lloso guys lavo “inlornaI-
izod” aII llo ollor skiIIs, so for llom aII llis is irroIovanl.
q
Yol, for a guy vlo is slarling oul, aII llo sluff lloy loacl
is imporlanl. Aflor laving a Iol of llo oxporioncos I laIkod
aboul oarIior in llis bIog, I roaIizod llal lloro is quilo a bil
of moril lo vlal SIoazy vas saying, bul I sliII llougll lo
vas loo oxlromo.
I llougll lloro vas vaIuo in sluff Iiko doing roIo pIays, cro-
aling llo “us vibo,” Ioarning lov lo loII good slorios vill
omolionaI ligls and Iovs, making slalomonls and novor
asking quoslions, focusing on soIf-improvomonl, vorking
on your innor gamo, boing supor pIayfuI and nol golling
aII sorious, nol landing oul loo many compIimonls, sond-
ing pIayfuI loxl mossagos, boing a non-roaclivo “aIpla-
q
Wlon I firsl loard slalomonls Iiko llis, I couId nolling bul Iaugl
bocauso I novor ombracod any of llo concopls of llo “communily.” Tlo
roason vas llal I knov guys vlo voro succossfuI vill vomon, and
vlal lloy did lad nolling al aII in common vill Myslory Mollod,
Ross }offrios, or any of llo “innor gamo” sluff various companios loacl.
Il’s llus moro llan a lad ironic vlon I road llal I lavo “inlornaIizod”
somolling I lavo aIvays boon compIoloIy lurnod off by. — A. S.

maIo” and llo Iiko. I llougll maybo aII llis vas obvious
lo a guy Iiko SIoazy, bul cIoarIy I am nol llal good.
Tlon I lad ollor oxporioncos. In lrying lo bo cIovor aboul
vlal lo say, loasing girIs, boing non-roaclivo lo silualions,
focusing on soIf-improvomonl — I Iosl a fov frionds bo-
causo lloy llougll I vas acling voird. Tloro voro a fov
inslancos vloro I did ovorylling opposilo of convonlionaI
“communily visdom” and girIs Iovod mo. You can road
moro aboul llis in llo claplor “You Don’l Nood lo do Too
Mucl.” AIso, I llougll backlo my liglsclooI days vloro
I vas llis young and innoconl guy vlo compIimonlod
vomon gonuinoIy Iiko crazy anddida Iol of so-caIIodAIC
bola sluff. NonolloIoss, a Iol of gorgoous girIs soomod lo
bo inloroslod in mo. In comparison, mosl of llo IIA sluff
novor foIl naluraI al aII. So I docidod lo drop a Iol of llis
and slarlod doing vlalovor llo fuck I vanlod. I vas aI-
mosl inslanlIy lappior and foIl a Iol moro poacofuI as a
rosuIl.
By llis limo a Iol of llis sluff mado mo llink llal abso-
IuloIy nono of llo advico IIAs givo is vorll il. Ono fi-
naI lling — and llis ono lil mo a Iol — vas vlon I sav
a coupIo of famous IIAs laIking aboul lloir curronl lol
girI. Hovovor, vlon I mol lloso girIs, lloy lurnod oul
lo bo vory pIain and avorago al bosl. I musl lavo lurnod
dovn dozons of girIs of llal caIibor. Tlis ono mado mo
roaIIy soo llo scam llal IIA roaIIy is. Al llis poinl, I vas
Iiko, “SIoazy is aImosl 1ooº corrocl llal lloro is IiloraIIy
nolling aboul gamo vlicl is usofuI.” InloroslingIy, vlon
I road Debunking again roconlIy, I found mysoIf agrooing
1ooº vill ovorylling lo vrolo, vlon oarIior I llougll,
“Yoal, I agroo, bul llal SIoazy guy is loo oxlromo.”
To concIudo, if you llink a Iol of anli-IIAs aro angry and
billor or llal lloy’ro missing llo poinl vlon lloy rocom-
mond oscorls insload of counlIoss coId approaclos for ricl
guys, llal lloy aro probabIy nol succossfuI vill girIs, or

llal lloy lavo “inlornaIizod” a Iol of skiIIs or anylling oIso
— pIoaso llink again. A Iol of us roaIIy jusl soo llis vloIo
lling for vlal il roaIIy is, namoIy a compIolo clarado. If
you don’l yol agroo vill llo anli-IIA posilion, llon ro-
flocl on your ovn oxporioncos. LvonluaIIy you viII roaIizo
llal lloy aro rigll. Il’s okay if you don’l do il rigll nov. I
knov I vas doublfuI al llo boginning, loo.
If you aro fuIIy immorsod in IIA advico rigll nov and
llink il’s llo soIulion lo llo probIoms in your Iovo Iifo —al
llo vory Ioasl jusl drop in and road posls and commonls al
AaronSIoazy.com and SoduclionMyll.com. AIso romom-
bor llal lloso guys aro nol soIIing anylling. You can ar-
guo loro llal Aaron SIoazy makos monoy from llis as lo
soIIs books and plono coacling, bul givon llo smarl guy
SIoazy is, if lo vanlod lo mako Iols of monoy from il, lo
is doing a piss-poor job of markoling il. So for your ovn
sako, clock oul lloso vobsilos ovory onco in a vliIo. Road
vlal poopIo lavo lo say on lloro. Maybo ovon lry vlal
lloy aro proposing. Try lo bo a bil objoclivo aboul your
oxporioncos. SIovIy, you viII como lo llo oxacl samo con-
cIusions as mo.
66
Lessons
6;
Standards and
Personal Goals
I usod lo loar froma Iol of guys llal llo girIs lloy aro vill
aro vory boring, or lov lloy lavo lo kick oul a crazy girI
llo noxl morning. Tloy loII mo llal mosl girIs aro supor
crazy. Many can’l loId a convorsalion, and lardIy ovor
do lloy mool girIs vlo aro “girIfriond maloriaI.” Hov-
ovor, llis compIoloIy conlradicls my oxporioncos. Tlo fov
girIs I lad gollon voro aII avosomo in many vays. Tloy
lad good Iooks, camo fromrospoclabIo famiIios, and lad a
voII-dovoIopod porsonaIily. So I couId nol roIalo lo lloso
guys.
Tlon I slarlod nolicing llo girIs a Iol of guys vlo aro vory
good vill vomon gol. A common pallorn vas llal lloso
guys did nol caro mucl aboul llo porsonaIily or convor-
salionaI abiIily of lloir girIs, or ovon vlollor lloy lad a
prolly faco. To llom, llo mosl imporlanl lling soomod lo
bo llal lloir body vas good onougl. On llo ollor land, I
vas unconsciousIy onIy laking any inlorosl in girIs vlo
voro vory good in ovory vay. Tlis is of courso mucl
lardor. ConsoquonlIy you’II lavo a groalIy Iovorod suc-
coss ralio llan if you’d lako basicaIIy any girI llal isn’l
oboso.
I usod lo assumo llal llo girIs vlicl a Iol of lloso guys
6q
fuckod voro aII avosomo in ovory vay, jusl Iiko my fov
girIs voro. Of courso, lloro’s absoIuloIy nolling vrong
vill banging girIs vloso allonlion span is loo slorl lo di-
gosl llo loadIino of a novspapor. Yol, llo poinl is: lavo
cIoar slandards for your girIs, and mako suro lloy aro a-
Iignod vill your goaIs.
If you aro jusl Iooking for randomsox, jusl don’l bollor so
mucl vill vlollor slo las a culo faco or nol, or vlollor
slo can loId a good convorsalion for zo minulos. I’m nol
saying llal you slouId lry lo fuck anylling vill a loIo
in il, bul I lavo nolicod llal a Iol of inoxporioncod guys
Iiko mo confuso llo goaI of laving random sox vill llo
goaI of golling a ligl-quaIily girI for a roIalionslip. Tloy
llink lloy slouId lavo Iols of random sox vill a lon of
ligl-caIibor girIs. Bul il jusl doosn’l vork llal vay.
If you jusl caro aboul laving a Iol of sox, jusl Iook for girIs
vlo lurn you on. Tlal’s il. Sinco I slarlod foIIoving llis
maxim, I nolicod llal I’vo boon abIo lo puII off somo roaIIy
crazy slil. Tlis is bocauso you inloronlIy don’l caro aboul
lloso girIs, vlicl makos you slamoIossIy go aflor your
dosiros! Aflor aII, il’s nol as if you viov llom as girIfriond
maloriaI lo bogin vill. InloroslingIy onougl, llis makos
lloso girIs ovon moro allraclodlo you. Lvon if youlappon
lo Ioso somo girIs in llo procoss, you don’l roaIIy caro.
Onco I aImosl puIIod off a llroosomo. In llo ond llougl,
llo girIs said llis vas loo mucl for llom, so I lad sox
vill llom individuaIIy. I llink I vas abIo lo go aflor il
so slamoIossIy bocauso I did nol caro mucl for lloso girIs
boyond sox. Tlis is a poinl vlicl I fooI mosl IIAs aro
unabIo lo accopl. WouId lloy admil lo llomsoIvos llal aII
lloy aro doing is jusl laving a Iovor bar vlon fucking
random girIs, llon llis moanl llal aII llo limo lloy sponl
lrying lo Ioarn “gamo” vas compIoloIy vaslod.
Tlo flip sido of llis is llal you don’l lavo lo caro vlon
;o
somo IIAdudo monlions a crazy numbor of sox parlnors.
AImosl corlainIy, lloso girIs voro nol supor-ligl quaIily.
Golling supor ligl quaIily vomon from coId approacl
on a roguIar basis is impossibIo. I lavo soon somo vlilo
dudos in NYC vlo fuck a Iol of Asian girIs. Bul vlon I
loId llomllal mosl Asian girIs accopl a mucl Iovor quaI-
ily vlilo dudo ovor an Asian dudo for casuaI sox, lloy
undorslandabIy gol vory dofonsivo sinco llis moanl llal
lloir “succoss” didn’l lavo llal mucl lo do vill llom-
soIvos or lloir aIIogodIy amazing gamo.
Or Iook al somo guy Iiko }offy from RoaI SociaI Dynam-
ics. Ho las puIIod off somo crazy slil and lo is knovn lo
fuck a Iol of fallios. I lavo no probIoms vill guys fucking
vlomovor lloy vanl, bul for anyono roading aboul sucl
sluff —jusl lako ovorylling vill a grain of saIl! SoriousIy,
if somoono vonl around loIIing avorago guys llal lloy
onIy gol lo fuck roasonabIy avorago girIs vlo vouIdn’l
ovon say no, llon nobody vouId praiso lloir “gamo.” In-
sload, lloy vouId aII say, “Yoal dudo, no biggio lloro, I
knov.” Bul roaIIy, llal’s aII il is.
;1
;z
Realistic Goals
Iol’s laIk aboul laving roaIislic goaIs. Tlis is aIso a lolaI
doparluro from vlal IIAs loacl, namoIy llal no mallor
vlo you aro, you can bang a lon of lol clicks. I fooI llo
vory fov Iogil virgin-lo-pussy loavon kind of slorios llal
do oxisl in llo IIA communily acluaIIy lurl you moro
llan loIp you for lvo roasons. Iirsl, llo slory ilsoIf is an
oulcomo of a vory slrong soIoclion bias and, socond, lloy
don’l laIk aboul roIalod circumslancos. Somo lad aII llo
limo in llo vorId and vonl oul somolling Iiko fivo lours
a day for sovon days a vook. Ollors voro viIIing lo bang
anylling llal movod, and somo Iuckod oul and managod
lo gol inlo a sociaI circIo llal mado il oasy lo gol Iaid. Tlink
of cIub promolors or barlondors! Yol, by nol addrossing
lloso imporlanl issuos, lloso slorios givo you faIso lopo
and Ioad lo a dislorlod porcoplion of roaIily. Il onIy sols
you up for a fanlasy vlicl viII mosl IikoIy nol ovor bo
fuIfiIIod, and llis moans il may lurl you a Iol.
Anollor lorribIo poinl is llal lloso guys llon normaIIy
crodil lloir novIy acquirod “mad skiIIz” for lloir rosuIls,
andnol llo facl llal maybo oarIior lloy voro jusl nol going
oul onougl, nol rocognizing girIs vlo Iikod llomand nol
oscaIaling on llom. Wlon I movod lo NYC, I vas aImosl a
virgin. I lad movod from a compIoloIy difforonl counlry,
Iackod sociaI skiIIs, and didn’l knovmany poopIo. Al llal
limo, my focus slouId lavo boon on making nov frionds,

golling a fov dalos and jusl gonoraIIy going oul and laIk-
ing lo poopIo. CoId approacling slouId lavo boon moro
of a suppIomonl insload of llo main lling. Wlon I did aII
lloso approaclos, I Iackod cuIluraI undorslanding and I
aIso Iackod roforonco oxporioncos of boing soxuaIIy com-
forlabIo vill vomon. Tlo onIy oxporionco I vas golling
vas vill vomon vlo voro in loclic and crazy onviron-
monls. Ialor on, aflor I lad dolaclod mysoIf a bil from
IIA, llis vas llo aroa I focusodon, andllis is vlal ondod
up making mo lappy and giving mo rosuIls.
I dofiniloIy fooI llal llis is a probIom a Iol of poopIo in llo
soduclion communily slaro. Tloy simpIy pursuo vrong
goaIs. Somo of il comos from llo facl llal pickup is sup-
posod lo bo llis opic journoy vloro you boal aII odds, so-
duco ono lol voman aflor anollor, and in llo ond you
viII bo docIarod a loro by your foIIov IIA lribo mom-
bors. HonoslIy, if poopIo jusl focusod on basics Iiko mak-
ing novfrionds, picking up a coupIo of sociaI lobbios, and
jusl asking girIs oul on dalo, llon mosl of lloir probIoms
vouId bo soIvod. Wlal insload onds up lapponing is llal
a buncl of guys vlo aro aII oxlromoIy incapabIo in llo so-
ciaI roaIm, and vlo lavon’l ovon lad any good-Iooking
fomaIo frionds for a vliIo, Iol aIono a girIfriond, loam up
lo go laIk lo lol vomon in roIalivoIy losliIo onvironmonls
Iiko nigll cIubs or busy slrools.
I llink poopIo slouId firsl focus on making somo doconlIy
cooI frionds, boll maIo and fomaIo, golling a sociaI lobby
or lvo, and going oul vill poopIo lloy mool in lloso on-
vironmonl. You’II probabIy gol a fov dalos llrougl lloso
frionds, or llrougl frionds of frionds. If you llink you
lavo lo coId approacl, llon do il sparingIy and jusl fo-
cus on laving roasonabIo convorsalions. If somoono can’l
ovon do llis mucl, llon sIooping vill lol vomon on a
roguIar basis or puIIing qoº of your firsl dalos slouId bo
llo Iasl lling on your mind. }usl focus on boing moro ag-

grossivo, moro soxuaI, flirling moro, making oul roguIarIy
vill girIs in bars and cIubs and llo Iiko. As a noxl slop, lry
sIooping vill a fov girIs and gol somo basic soxuaI oxpo-
rionco. Onco you can do llal, and only then, you can focus
on bocoming llis mad pIayor vlo can gol an inslanl mako
oul from a girI llal is surroundod by fivo AMOGs
1o
and
puII lor inlo llo ballroom slaII villin lon minulos. WoII,
if you’ro sliII inloroslod in pickup al llal poinl.
1o
AMOG is ono of llo moro absurd acronyms in llo communily. Il
slands for “aIpla maIo / ollor guy”, bul il is nol supposod lo impIy
llal ovory ollor guy is an aIpla guy, dospilo appoaranco lo llo con-
lrary. An AMOG is somo dudo, oflon in llo group of llo girI a IIA
is lilling on, vlo inlorforos vill llo pIans of our IillIo maslor pickup
arlisl. SadIy, il novor occurod lo IIAs llal ollor guys roacl in a losliIo
mannor lo llom bocauso lloy aro jusl loo fucking voird. — A. S.

;6
You Don’t Need to do
Too Much
IIAdudos say llal youslouIdnovor uso soIf-doprocaling
jokos and llon say llal you slouId slovsomo vuInorabiI-
ily so llal slo soos you as a roaI porson. Tloy aIso say llal
you slouId onIy loxl girIs aflor mooling llom and novor
caII llom, and llal you slouId onIy ask girIs oul casu-
aIIy for dalos and novor soriousIy. Tlo loxl mossagos you
sond slouId novor bo Iongor llan lors. Ono dudo says
you slouId incIudo smiIios in your loxl mossago, vliIo
anollor ono advisos you lo novor uso smiIoys al aII. You
slouId onIy loII slorios vloro il sooms llal girIs claso you,
andnovor ovor llo ollor vay round. You slouIdonIy givo
lor Iigll-loarlod compIimonls, and nol Iiko a “bola” vlo
is faIIing ovor limsoIf lo loII lor lov amazing slo is.
You slouId bo non-roaclivo vlon a girI “slil losls” you,
and prolond llal nolling ovor affocls you. LspociaIIy, you
slouId novor bo omolionaI in fronl of vomon. Tlal’s of
courso bocauso aII vomon onIy Iiko lougl “aIplas.” Tloro
aro ollor guys vlo lry lo roconciIo lloso conflicling llo-
orios, and lloy loII you lov and vlon you aro supposod
lo bo “bola”, and vlon you lavo lo “acl aIpla.” Tloy ly-
pollosizo aboul vlon you can caII a girI, and vlon you
can onIy loxl lor, vlon lo compIimonl lor and vlon you
can’l, vlon you can bo vuInorabIo in fronl of lor, and
;;
vlon you slouId acl aII “aIpla”, vlon you slouId acl
Iiko a pIayor and vlon Iiko a gonuino porson. Don’l ovon
gol mo slarlod on pusl-puII, boing cavoman, golling inlo
slalo, NII, cocky-funny, roIo-pIays, croaling llo “us vibo”
and vlalnol. IrankIy, I don’l ovon proporIy knov vlal
laIf of lloso llings roaIIy moan.
AII of llis is loo mucl!
Mosl of llis slil doosn’l mallor al aII. In an allompl lo
mako uso of lloso concopls, guys jusl bocomo sociaIIyavk-
vard and gol oul of loucl vill lloir ovn porsonaIilios.
}usl do vlalovor llo fuck you vanl! If somo girI “slil
losls” you, and you didn’l Iiko il, llon loII lor llal slo’s a
bilcl. Iso soIf-doprocaling jokos if you vanl lo. CaII a girI
if you fooI Iiko spoaking vill lor. CompIimonl lor lo llo
poinl of ombarrassmonl if you llink slo Iooks gorgoous.
ToII a slory in vlicl you did somolling lolaIIy slupid and
ombarrassing. InduIgo in boring “bola convorsalions” by
asking lor vlal slo doos for a Iiving or lovlor vookond
vas. }usl do vlalovor llo fuck you vanl, man!
Tlo idoa llal lloro aro so many llings you slouId do,
and so many ollors you slouIdn’l do is oxaclIy vlal you
slouIdn’l bo loIIing a guy vlo is aIroady loo norvous lo
laIk lo vomon and loo mucl in lis load anyvay. As I’m
dislancing mysoIf moro and moro from llo communily, I
find mysoIf doing a Iol of llings vlicl aro slrongIy ad-
visod againsl by IIAs, bul vlicl I jusl fooI Iiko doing. In
llo procoss I acluaIIy fooI mucl lappior and I aIso lond lo
connocl bollor vill vomon.
;8
You Really Don’t Need
to do Too Much
Iol mo givo you a fov oxampIos from my ovn Iifo. I’m
somoono vlo Iikos lo compIomonl vomon a Iol. I aIso
lond lo mako soIf-doprocaling jokos ovory nov and llon.
I usod lo do llis oarIior in ligl sclooI, bul compIoloIy
sloppod aflor coIIogo bocauso llis vas sucl a bola and
AIC lling lo do. Wlal lapponod vas llal vill a Iol of
sucl advico pul logollor, I Iosl a Iol of llo gonuinonoss
and sponlanoily I lavo lad.
Tloro vas llis roaIIy boaulifuI girI vlo usod lo como lo
my danco cIassos. Slo vas an absoIuloIy fanlaslic dancor,
vliclinlimidalodmo ovonmoro. Tloroforo, I novor askod
lor for a danco. I aIvays foIl Iiko compIimonling lor bo-
causo slo vas jusl so good. Bul I novor did bocauso I
llougll onIy AICs and bola maIos vouId do llis. Ono
day slo vas silling noxl lo mo, and I llougll, “Iuck il!” I
said lo lor llal slo vas sucl an amazing dancor and llal
bocauso of llal I vas aIvays inlimidalod and novor askod
lor lo danco vill mo. Slo vas bIusling so lard!
Wo dancod llal nigll and voro laIking a Iol. Anollor
nigll I camo lo llo parly roaIIy drunk and llon dancod
vill lor, kopl loIding lor roaIIy cIoso and vas gonoraIIy
vory avkvard. Tlon I loId lor llal I vas roaIIy drunk
;q
and vasn’l going lo lorluro lor vill anollor song. Ac-
cording lo IIAs, llal’s jusl anollor bola slalomonl. Yol,
aflor llal nigll, slo jusl novor Iol go of mo. Wlon I camo
lo llo parly, slo vouId jusl drop vlalovor slo vas doing
lo como ovor, lug mo inlonsoIy and kiss mo on my clooks.
Wo vouId danco aII nigll and slo’d inlroduco mo lo lor
frionds as voII. I llink you gol llo poinl.
Tloro vas anollor inslanco vlon I vas al a saIsa parly
vlononI vas onvacalion. Tloro vas llis supor lol Span-
isl saIsa inslruclor. Slo vas dancing amazingIy voII and
aIso in a vory soduclivo vay. Slo vas ono lloso roaIIy in-
limidaling lol vomon and oasiIy ono of llo lollosl I lavo
ovor soon in roaI Iifo. IIoaso mind llal I lavo boon lo a Iol
of upscaIo cIubs in many major cilios aII ovor llo gIobo.
NormaIIy I vouIdn’l daro laIk lo sucl a voman, or al Ioasl
nol villoul somo Iiquid courago.
IrankIy, I vas a bil drunk. I loId lor llal I lad como lo
llis pIaco and vanlod lo danco and slov off my skiIIs,
bul llal aflor lor porformanco I foIl slupid and vouIdn’l
daro slop on llo danco floor. Tlis vas a far cry from vlal
a non-roaclivo, supor aIpla dudo vouId lavo dono, bul
I gonuinoIy foIl Iiko saying llal al llal momonl — and
somolling amazing lapponod aflor I lad slul my moull
again. Slo suddonIy slarlod acling Iiko a IillIo girI and
look my land, andvo slarlodlaIking. Wo dancodfor a bil,
bul I vas cIoarIy no malcl for lor. Slo lad boon dancing
saIsa soriousIy for fifloon yoars, and I lad boon praclicing
il for maybo fifloon vooks. Bul slo kopl dancing vill mo.
Ialor llal nigll vo mado oul, and if I ladn’l lad lo Ioavo
for anollor cily llo noxl day, probabIy moro vouId lavo
lapponod.
Tlo poinl is llal you slouId jusl do vlalovor you vanl.
I’mnol saying llal ovorlIy compIimonling vomonviII gol
you Iaid moro oflon, or llal doing x, y, z is bollor. }usl do
vlal you roaIIy vanl lo do, bul koop llo basics in mind:
8o
dross voII, laIk lo vomon you Iiko, and soo if slo sooms
lo Iiko you. If so, llon movo llings forvard oillor plysi-
caIIy rigll lloro or ask lor oul on a dalo. Aparl from llal,
you can IiloraIIy do vlalovor llo fuck you vanl. Lvon-
luaIIy you’II Ioarn from your oxporioncos and rofino your
slyIo. I llink llo main probIom roaIIy is llal guys consor
llomsoIvos vay loo mucl, and lry lo foIIova buncl of ar-
bilrary ruIos, vlicl Iols llom novor gol oul of lloir load.
81
8z
The Purpose of PUA
I lavo boon moaning lo vrilo aboul llis issuo for a vliIo,
bul rigll boforo I vas going lo posl il on my bIog, Aaron
SIoazy boal mo lo il vill aImosl llo oxacl conlonl I lad
vrillon mysoIf. So insload of ropoaling ovorylling, I’mro-
forring lo llis avosomo bIog posl “Wly CoId Approacl-
ing is prolly mucl usoIoss”, vlicl you’II aIso find in llo
appondix.
Nov llal SIoazy las sloIon my llundor, I viII jusl add a
fov llings lo offor my ovn viovs on roIalod mallors. I
vanl lo laIk aboul vlal I fooI llo purposo of any daling
coacling or IIA advico slouId bo. In my opinion, llo
poinl of pickup is lo maximizo llo quaIily and quanlily of
vomon you can gol in your Iifo vill llo Ioasl amounl of
offorl on your parl. Tlo offorl consisls of ovorylling you
pul in, i.o. monoy, limo, Ioss of monlaI poaco, or opporlu-
nily cosl of nol doing somolling oIso during llal limo and
vill aII llal monoy.
Wlon you viov mosl of IIA in llis Iigll, you viII prob-
abIy como lo llo samo concIusion as SIoazy in llal posl,
namoIy llal coId approacling is prolly mucl usoIoss. }usl
llink of lovcoId approacling is lypicaIIy rocommondod:
Gol lo a popuIar mainslroam cIub on a busy nigll and in-
discriminaloIy approacl lon clicks. RoaIIy, a Iol of acliv-
ilios aro bollor llan llal in llo sonso llal lloy offor llo
polonliaI for bollor rolurns. Bollor rolurns of courso aIso

moans roacling llo samo goaI vill mucl Ioss offorl.
Tlink of aclivilios Iiko dancing, yoga, pIaying inlramuraI
sporls or arl Iossons Iiko painling! Tloy aII offor you llo
polonliaI lo mool vory allraclivo and mucl liglor quaI-
ily vomon in a mucl oasior vay. You clooso an inlor-
osling lobby, vlicl you viII quilo possibIy onjoy a Iol,
and maybo you’II ovon oxcoI al il. Tlis vay you viII mako
inlorosling frionds, you aro in an onvironmonl llal’s nol
losliIo, and il migll ovon improvo your ovoraII loaIll and
filnoss. Il corlainIy von’l bo damaging lo your monlaI
loaIll. By novyou can probabIy guoss vly I mucl profor
llis roulo.
Iol’s go ono IovoI doopor and Iook al individuaI aspocls.
Iirsl, considor venue selection. Going lo saIsa parlios, jazz
cIubs or aIumni ovonls aro aII suporior lo langing oul in
mainslroam cIubs. Il’s mucl oasior lo slarl convorsalions
vill poopIo, il’s oasior lo mako frionds, and il’s obviousIy
mucl oasior lo pick up clicks lloro as voII. If slrool gamo
is your lling, llon langing oul in a park or allonding day-
limo concorls viII Ioad lo mucl bollor rosuIls llan aim-
IossIy roaming llo slrools.
Bul lloro is moro! Many poopIo in llo communily lry
lo givo advico on lov lo doaI vill lougl silualions Iiko
so-caIIod lard sols, vlicl is IIA Iingo for vomon vlo
aro lardIy rocoplivo if nol dovnrigll losliIo lovards you.
Onco again, lloro’s absoIuloIy no poinl in lrying lo bo aII
maclo and allompling lo gol llo difficuIl girI vlon lloro
aro vomonaroundvlo vouIdmuclmoro approcialo laIk-
ing lo you. Tlo purposo is lo mako llo vloIo lling supor
oasy and fun, and nol llo ollor vay around.
So far I lavo nol ovon oxpIicilIy laIkod aboul lov con-
slanlIy coId approacling damagos your psyclo, vrocks
your soIf-osloom and lurns you inlo a voirdo. Going lo
pIacos you lruIy onjoy loIps a Iol vill aII of llal. Tlis is

oxaclIy vly a Iol of IIAsilos lavo arlicIos ondoaIing vill
omolionaI ups and dovns, and lov llis is sucl an “opic
journoy.” Tloso guys somolovmanagod lo lurn laving a
sociaI Iifo, parlying, lilling on clicks, and going oul from
boing among llo mosl fun llings ono can do inlo a com-
pIolo drudgory. Iickup isn’l supposod lo bo supor lard.
Il is and slouId bo fun.
Nov if somoono loIIs mo llal lloy lavo pIonly of limo
and onorgy, bul no monoy lo spond on aclivilios — ovon
llon I’mgoing lo say llal “sarging”
11
is usoIoss. Il’s mucl
mucl bollor lo spond your limo on bocoming a cIub pro-
molor or jusl making frionds vill a fov ricl guys, and
sponding limo golling girIs lo lloso parlios. If llis is oul
of your roacl, llon maybo you can bocomo a barlondor,
vlicl is aIso a fun vay lo oasiIy mool a Iol of girIs.
Tlo onIy roason I fooI you slouId bo doing coId approacl-
ing is if you can soamIossIy inlogralo il inlo your IifoslyIo.
Say, you’ro oul slopping for grocorios and you soo a girI.
Of courso you can llon go laIk lo lor. Or if you aro oul
vill somo frionds al somo cIub and lloro aro vomon lloro
vlo you Iiko — jusl go laIk lo llom! Hovovor, frooing up
a fov lours in your scloduIo vill llo soIo purposo of lil-
ling on clicks is nol somolling I fooI anyono slouId do, no
mallor vlal your silualionis. Il’s simpIy bocauso lloro aro
aIvays many infiniloIy bollor oplions avaiIabIo.
11
“Sarging” is a IIAlormfor llo acl of randomIy approacling girIs.
Il’s impIiod llal llo voman las slovn absoIuloIy no sign llal slo
vanls lo bo approaclod, vlicl rofors lo }olnny monlioning llo obsos-
sion vill “lard sols” and coId approacling in llo IIA communily.
— A. S.

86
Measuring Progress
I am vory surprisod no ono laIks aboul lov you slouId
moasuro your progross if you docido lo focus on improv-
ing llis aroa of your Iifo. Givon llo amounl of limo IIAs
loII you lo spond on your opic journoy, you slouId dofi-
niloIy knov vlollor you aro indood making progross as
opposod lo slagnaling or ovon vorsoning. You can onIy
mako approprialo clangos if you knov vlollor you’ro
improving.
On a lypicaI nigll oul, conlrary lo vlal mosl IIAs vouId
lavo you boIiovo, mosl of llo girIs aro nol roaIIy Iooking
for a guy and, frankIy, no amounl of gamo can clango
anylling aboul il. Among llo girIs anyono las a slol al,
lloro viII bo quilo a fov vlo von’l considor you lo bo
lloir lypo. Ollors may nol vanl lo Iook Iiko a sIul in fronl
of lloir frionds, and of courso lloro is a myriad of ollor
possibIo roasons vly you can’l gol vill llom, no mallor
lov good your “gamo” is. RoaIislicaIIy spoaking, lloro is
onIy a comparabIy smaII numbor of vomon on any givon
nigll you lavo a clanco of golling vill.
SlalislicaIIy spoaking, mosl of your approaclos — if you
approacl indiscriminaloIy — aro going lo ond up in rojoc-
lions, and for lloso il doosn’l roaIIy mallor vlal you do.
1z
Your focus slouId lloroforo Iio on inloraclions vill girIs
1z
Tlis is vly il’s so imporlanl lo find your niclo. Tlis doosn’l moan
llal you’II magicaIIy ond up in a posilion vloro you can lavo any girI
8;
you lavo a slol vill. Wlon you gol rojoclod rigll from
llo off, or vlon you find yoursoIf in a silualion vloro llo
girI is moroIy boing poIilo bul jusl nol inloroslodal aII, llon
lloro is jusl nolling you can Ioarn. Iikoviso, lloro is noll-
ing lo bo improvod lloro. Of courso, lloro aro oxlromo
casos of guys llal approacl, say, fifly vomon a nigll, and
lloy aII lurn llom dovn immodialoIy. Tloso guys slouId
dofiniloIy roflocl ovor vlal lloy aro doing. Bul barring
llal, onIy focus on lov voII you do vill vomon vlo
soom lo Iiko you. Tloro is nol mucl vorll Ioarning from
rojoclions, nor can you improvo mucl ollor llan lrying lo
idonlify lloso vomon in llo firsl pIaco and nol approacl
llom al aII.
Tlis is anollor major probIom vill pickup, i.o. llo fo-
cus is fuckod up. If you go around approacling vomon
indiscriminaloIy, jusl Iiko IIAs rocommond il, and llon
vorry aboul vly you gol slol dovn a Iol, llon somolling
is cIoarIy amiss. Sinco you aro llinking aboul llal, you
viII bo moro concornodaboul your succoss ralo llan aboul
making il lappon vill a girI vlo Iikos you inslanlIy —
slouId you lappon lo accidonlaIIy como across ono. }usl
focus on lov voII you aro doing vill vomon vlo Iiko
you. Tlis is llo aspocl vloro you slouId soo roguIar im-
provomonls in your rosuIls. Of courso, lloro is somolling
lo bo said aboul improving your odds boforo llo approacl
by scrooning, vorking oul, drossing voII, and picking llo
rigll vonuos. Bul in lorms of acluaI approaclos, llis is
vlal you slouId focus on.
If I Iook al my ovn rosuIls, I can cIoarIy soo llal I lavo
improvod a Iol and fairIy consislonlIy. I sliII romombor
vory vividIy llo firsl limo I vas cIoso-dancing and grind-
ing vill a girI. Il foIl so avosomo. Hovovor I vas baroIy
abIo lo muslor up llo courago lo lavo a clal vill lor Ialor
you vanl. Hovovor, llo numbor of girIs vlo aro polonliaIIy inloroslod
viII bo significanlIy liglor. — A. S.
88
on, mucl Ioss lo mako a sorious movo on lor. Tlis las
improvod sloadiIy. SIovIy I vas abIo lo acluaIIy puII girIs
cIosor lo mo vliIo dancing, llon I vas abIo lo loId sloady
oyo conlacl. Novadays I run my land llrougl lor lair,
loId lor cIoso lo mo and Iook al lor in llo oyos. I lavo no
probIom anymoro vill asking lloso girIs oul on dalos, or
flirling a bil. I fooI moro comforlabIo laking llo convorsa-
lion inlo a soxuaI diroclion and I’m abIo lo do il oarIior. I
can aIso ask vomon lo como lomo vill mo, vlicl vas
somolling I didn’l lavo llo baIIs lo do boforo.
Of courso, lloro is a Iol moro lo improvo bul nov llal I
fooI I’m Iooking al llo rigll molric, I’m nol confusod any-
moro. I knov llal I’m making progross. Bocauso of llal I
aIso fooI bollor and I’m no Iongor conslanlIy fruslralod. I
nov fooI llal gamo and soIf-improvomonl in llis aroa aro
primariIy aboul golling ovor your ovn foars andanxiolios,
and jusl oxprossing yoursoIf.
I visl llal somoono in llo IIA communily lad loId mo
llis oarIior. Tlon I vouId lavo knovn nol lo approacl
vomon indiscriminaloIy, and I vouId lavo roaIizod llal
mosl rojoclions don’l moan anylling and llal vlal you
say lardIy ovon mallors. Wlal mallors is llal you gol ovor
your anxiolios and llal you soxuaIIy oscaIalo vlon a girI
Iikos you. Iooking back, lloro voro so many vomon vlo
Iikod mo, bul I fuckod il up bocauso I lad boon focussing
on llo vrong llings. Hovovor, I’m acluaIIy vory lappy
llal lloro voro so many ligl-quaIily vomon.
Il’s vory Iiboraling lo knov llal lloro isn’l mucl you can
do vlon you aro approacling and llal you aron’l going
lo suddonIy mako a girI lorny llal jusl isn’l inlo you. I
guoss “gamo” comos dovn lo pinging a Iol of vomon in
a slorl amounl of limo. Wlon you soo a girI vlo Iikos
you, oscaIalo. Ovor limo, you viII bocomo smoollor in
your oscaIalions. You’II bo abIo lo ask moro vomon oul on
dalos, Ioarn lo loII sly girIs vlo acluaIIy Iiko you fromllo
8q
bilcly onos, bocomo boIdor, and ovoraII you’II gol furllor
vill lloso vomon and gol moro of llom.
qo
Moving On
q1
PUA for the Average
Guy
RoconlIy, Aaron SIoazy vrolo an arlicIo on vly coId ap-
proacling is aImosl usoIoss. Il sooms lo lavo gonoralod a
lugo buzz on a numbor of forums and on lis bIog. Tloso
vlo voro disagrooing vill lim soom lo lavo compIoloIy
missod llo poinl of llo posl vlicl is llal you slouIdn’l
approacl slrangors indiscriminately. Lillor approacl poo-
pIo vlo soom opon in gonoraI or poopIo vlo soom inlor-
oslod in you spocificaIIy, bul don’l approacl randomIy.
Sinco I boIiovo il is a vory imporlanl lopic, I vanl lo oIabo-
ralo somo moro on il. Nov, boforo somoono accusos mo of
boing a SIoazy fanboy, vlicl you aro froo lo do, I vouId
approcialo if you road llis claplor and jusl roflocl on your
ovn oxporioncos.
Ono imporlanl poinl llo IIA communily sooms lo miss
compIoloIy, andI knovllal by novI lavo roaIIy ovorusod
llis plraso, is llal lloy don’l laIk aboul your largol au-
dionco. To givo you somo background informalion: Ac-
cording lo various slalislics, llo avorago numbor of sox-
uaI parlnors is around sovon in a lifetime. }usl as a sido
nolo, somo survoys say llal llo avoragos for guys andgirIs
aro difforonl. Assuming a Iargo fraclion of sox is dono bo-
lvoon ono man and ono voman, and llal llo numbor of
mon and vomon around llo vorId is rouglIy oquaI, llo

numbor slouId bo llo samo for boll soxos. GonoraIIy,
lovovor, llo avorago is dislorlod by oulIiors. Tlis moans
llal llo modian slouId bo Iovor. I viII Iol you drav your
ovn concIusions from lloso figuros, bul il is safo lo say
llal fucking lvonly nov vomon a yoar is nol roaIIy on
llo mind of an avorago guy.
I Iiko lo llink of mysoIf as an avorago guy vill roIalivoIy
modosl goaIs. My goaI vill IIA vas llal I vanlod lo
fooI moro comforlabIo and confidonl aboul my Iovo Iifo
and around vomon, bang a fov clicks loro and lloro,
and llon sollIo dovn vill a ligl quaIily girI. I llink mosl
guys lavo simiIar ambilions. AII llo sluff I slaro on my
bIog and in llis book, and llo spiril of SIoazy’s posl, is in
a simiIar Iigll, namoIy llal il is aII moanl for llo avorago
guy. Il’s nol nocossariIy for llo guy vlo vanls lo fuck
a nov voman ovory vook. I boIiovo llal ovon for a guy
Iiko llal my advico is voII suilod, bul I can’l say for suro
bocauso I am nol llal kind of guy.
To bocomo a guy vlo gols a fov ligl-quaIily vomon a
yoar, you roaIIy don’l nood lo lavo absoIuloIy zoro ap-
proacl anxioly, sociaI anxioly and soxuaI anxioly. You
don’l nood lo bo abIo lo gol fivo mako ouls ovory limo
you go oul, or lavo lo bo compIoloIy immuno lo rojoclion,
and pIoaso aIso forgol aboul approacling onIy llo “lard-
osl sols,” and quil your pipo droams of “convorling qoºof
your firsl dalos inlo Iays,” as IIAs Iiko lo plraso il. AIso,
don’l fooI bad if you don’l lavo sox vill ovory nov girI
villin an lour of mooling lor and giving lor lon orgasm
in lvonly minulos and vlalnol.
You slouId bo moro llan good lo go if you simpIy go oul
a bil, pursuo somo lobbios, lavo fun vill frionds, and
ask girIs oul on dalos vlo soom inloroslod in you. Tlis
is vlal mosl avorago guys vanl anyvay. Il’s ono lling lo
say llal you aro oul on a businoss dinnor, soo a girI you
Iiko and lry lo clal lor up, bul conslanlIy going oul vill

llo soIo purposo of mooling vomon isn’l somolling I’d
rocommond for anyono. Tlo primariIy vaIuo of coId ap-
proacling as I soo il is llal you soo llal you can acluaIIy
approacl slrangors. Tlis is aIso mucl bollor cuIlivalod in
a varmor sconario bocauso poopIo viII normaIIy bo mucl
moro friondIy, bul slriclIy spoaking, lloso vouId bo varm
approaclos llon. Il’s ligl limo somo poopIo roaIizo llal il
lakos lvo lo lango.
If you novor gol a dalo from your sociaI circIo or varm
approaclos, llon, gonoraIIy spoaking, your probIoms aro
nol roIalod lo girIs. Il’s aImosl corlainIy somolling oIso,
bul boforo you slarl droaming of puIIing girIs, you lavo lo
sorl oul your basics firsl. Onco you lavo dono llal and aro
abIo lo gol a fov girIs llo vay I jusl monlionod, and basi-
caIIy acliovo llo goaIs of llo avorago guy, llon go and do
vlalovor you vanl. Hovovor, I lavo a slrong fooIing llal
if poopIo acluaIIy sluck lo lloir sociaI circIo and did varm
approaclos, llon mosl of llomvouIdn’l ovon bollor vill
IIA nonsonso aflorvards.

q6
PUA for the Totally
Clueless Guy
As I lavo vrillon boforo vlon I vas loIIing you aboul my
background, I como from a vory consorvalivo famiIy. In
coIIogo I baroIy lad any inloraclions vill vomon. Al llo
ondof my junior yoar I vonl lo NovYork Cily for llo sum-
mor lo vork. Il vas loro llal I look my firsl ovor saIsa
Iossons. You may nol boIiovo vlon I say llis, bul I aImosl
didn’l go. I lad paid llo monoy in advanco, bul lon min-
ulos boforo llo Iosson slarlod, I jusl foIl so uncomforlabIo.
WaIking lo llo cIass vas a lugo monlaI slruggIo. I vaIkod
lloro and llon back duo lo my anxioly. Bul ovonluaIIy I
lurnod around and vonl lo llo cIass.
I vas incrodibIy anxious aboul ovorylling. I vas anxious
aboul my dancing abiIilios bocauso ovoryono loId mo llal
I vas a pallolic dancor. I vas anxious aboul mooling nov
girIs, and dancing vill llom. Tlon I lad somo fuckod up
nolions aboul vlal saIsa dancing vas supposod lo bo Iiko
andso on andso forll. Rigll boforo llo slarl of llo Iosson I
vas so anxious llal vlon llo fomaIo inslruclor lloro said,
“Hi, lovaro you`”, I couIdn’l say anylling in rolurn. Hor
namo vas Lva, and slo vas so lol. I sliII romombor lor
cIoarIy. As soon as llo Iosson slarlod, I roaIizod llal ovory-
body oIso vas anxious, loo, bocauso nono of us knovlov
lo danco. Bul llo inslruclor vas vory sympallolic, llo mu-
q;
sic vas good, and slo mado us Iaugl so vo aII quickIy foIl
a Iol moro comforlabIo.
Aflor llal I vonl lo my firsl saIsa parly. You may onco
again nol vanl lo boIiovo il, bul boforo llis nigll, I lad
novor boon lo a cIub in my onliro Iifo. Yos, I lad boon lo a
coupIo of bars, bul novor lo a cIub or a danco parly. I vas
so lonso llal llo onliro nigll I didn’l danco vill a singIo
girI. Al llo vory ond I dancod vill somo girI for a bil,
and llis vas my firsl danco nigll. I couId go on and on
vill my slorios, bul llo poinl I is llal I lavo boon lloro,
and I undorsland. I don’l vanl lo mako llis inlo a conlosl
aboul vlo comos from llo mosl fuckod up background,
bul lrusl mo vlon I say llal vory fov guys como from a
moro fuckod up pIaco llan mo.
Iooking back, lad I gol inlo IIA al llis slago, I soriousIy
don’l knov lov badIy il vouId lavo fuckod mo up. Tlo
probIoms for mo, or for anyono in a simiIar posilion, voro
nol clicks roIalod al aII. Il vas gonoraI anxioly. Guys Iiko
llal, and llis incIudos mo, lavo jusl nol boon sociaI and
oulgoing onougl. Wo lavo novor ladonougl roguIar cooI
oulgoing frionds. Wo novor Ioarnod lov lo dross prop-
orIy, and novor Ioarnl lo bo comforlabIo around vomon,
or ovon ollor randomguys for llal mallor. Wo novor vonl
oul vill many fomaIo frionds and maybo lavon’l ovon
spokon lo vomon as if lloy aro jusl roguIar poopIo.
Ovorcoming aII of llis is an acliovomonl ilsoIf and llis is
vlal you slouId focus on. }usl slarl going oul a bil and
laIk lo a fov poopIo! Try oul somo random lobby, ovon
if you don’l knov anybody oIso vlo is inlo il, and mako
nov frionds llis vay. Onco you aro comforlabIo vill llal
you can slarl lo vorry aboul daling vomon. You migll
miss a Iol of opporlunilios aIong llo vay, bul rigll nov
you lavo biggor concorns.
Tlis is oxaclIy vlal Aaron SIoazy caIIs foundalions. Onco
q8
you can do llis, llon sIovIy you viII slarl nolicing llal
somo vomon aro a IillIo bil loo friondIy or aro silling in
a cornor, laIking lo you for laIf an lour al a danco parly,
or aro smiIing a bil loo mucl and slanding loo cIoso vliIo
laIkinglo you, or koopmakingsuggoslivo oyo conlacl vill
you. Il viII lappon. No, I’m nol spociaI, and il lappons
lo mo.
I usod lo llink llal lloro is no vay clicks viII ovor Iiko mo
for vlo I am. I boIiovod llal I nood lo do a Iol of random
slil bocauso, cIoarIy, I’m quilo unallraclivo. I romombor
boing lonosl onco and admillod lo mysoIf llal if I lad a
nakod girI on my coucl, I probabIy vouIdn’l knov vlal
lo do. IoopIo Iiko llis lavo ollor issuos. Iirsl gol your
foundalions sorlod oul and onIy aflorvards vorry aboul
your daling Iifo. Onco you lavo boon on a coupIo dozon
dalos, you viII soo llal advico Iiko, “Do varmapproaclos
lo gol clicks!” or “Iook oul for varm signaIs.” viII slarl
lo bocomo obvious lo you as voII.
qq
1oo
Boyfriends and
One-Night Stands
Tloro is ono parlicuIar sol of dogmas llal’s proaclodinllo
IIA communily, and il’s ono I novor quilo undorslood.
Il’s llo obsossion vill ono-nigll slands, nol boing sIollod
inlo a “boyfriond roIo,” nol vanling lo spond any monoy
al aII on dalos, nol vanling lo go oul on dalos and insload
onIy pursuing supor-fasl Iays and llo Iiko.
Iol’s laIk aboul my ovn oxporioncos firsl. Al llo limo of
vriling llis, I lavo lad a lolaI of llroo ono-nigll slands.
Tvo of lloso voro on vacalion, and ono vas a IocaI lling
vloro llo girI’s fiancó vas in anollor counlry. Slo jusl
vanlod lo gol Iaid llal nigll. Aparl from llal, ovory girI
I ovor gol I ondod up in somo kind of roIalionslip vill,
moslIy of llo casuaI kind. Tlis moanl llal vo mol rogu-
IarIy, lad somo fun and, voII, sIopl logollor. I gonuinoIy
onjoyod sponding limo vill lloso vomon, and lloroforo
I don’l undorsland vly ono vouId vanl lo lavo sox vill
a girI jusl onco. Aflor aII, llo iniliaI offorl is llo Iargosl.
I can imagino llal il’s okay if you’vo gol aII llo limo in
llo vorId or if you’ro on vacalion. Bul ollorviso, vly
vouIdn’l you vanl lo lavo a roguIar girI you onjoy`
I simiIarIy don’l undorsland vly guys don’l vanl lo lavo
a girIfriond. SoriousIy, vlal oxaclIy is vrong vill laving
1o1
a girI vlo is fun, vloso company you onjoy, vlo inlro-
ducos you lo a buncl of poopIo and vlo you can lavo sox
vill al Ioasl somi-roguIarIy` You knov, jusl bocauso you
aro in somo kind of roIalionslip doosn’l moan llal you can
novor ovor flirl vill anollor voman in your Iifo, nor doos
il moan llal you lavo lo gol marriod and lavo kids vill
lor. Do you roaIIy profor going oul and pIaying llo num-
bors’ gamo conslanlIy`
Tlon lloro is llo obsossion aboul nol vanling lo spond
any monoy on dalos. I undorsland llal ono slouIdn’l fooI
llo nood lo nocossariIy lako girIs oul on oxponsivo dalos.
Bul if you mako doconl monoy, vlicl I do, and probabIy
quilo a fov of you guys do as voII, llon vlal’s llo off-
ing probIom vill pIunking dovn somo casl` Tloro aro
pIonly of pIacos I roaIIy onjoy, and vlicl aro on llo moro
oxponsivo sido. Of courso, I novor do a dalo vloro al llo
ond of llo nigll I ond up rosonling llo amounl of monoy
I sponl. NonolloIoss, I porsonaIIy don’l mind sponding
somo oxlra casl if il moans laving moro fun. Givon llo
cloico bolvoon sponding vory IillIo and going lo a pIaco I
can baroIy loIoralo and vloro my onliro nigll is riding on
vlollor I ond up fucking lor or nol, vorsus sponding a bil
moro and going lo a pIaco I knov I’II onjoy, irrospoclivo of
llo girI, llon I vouId corlainIy pick llo Iallor.
Or Iol’s laIk aboul nol vanling lo go oul on dalos and aI-
vays vanling supor fasl Iays. I vrolo aboul llis in an oar-
Iior claplor, “Indorslanding Your IocaI Lnvironmonl.”
Going for a fasl Iay doosn’l aIvays vork and loaviIy do-
ponds on llo girI. Bul onco again I lavo lo ask vlal llo
probIomis vill vailing a bil Iongor lo lavo sox vill a girI
if you onjoyod llo vloIo limo on llo dalo as voII` I guoss
a Iol of lloso issuos aro roIalod lo llo poinl vloro guys
llink lloy nood lo “praclico going oul on dalos,” vlicl
is somolling you loar a Iol in llo soduclion communily.
Tlus, lloy ond up vill jusl a ono-nigll sland insload of
1oz
roguIar sox vill llal parlicuIar girI. Maybo youdidn’l Iiko
llo girI and didn’l parlicuIarIy onjoy llo acluaI dalo, bul if
you do, llon I soo absoIuloIy no probIomvill going on an
oxlra dalo or lvo. Of courso, lloro aro somo cavoals. Iirsl,
somo girIs jusl pIay gamos, and of lloso you slouId dof-
iniloIy gol rid of. Socond, going oul on dalos and laving
fun slouId nol bo an oxcuso lo nol oscaIalo on girIs. Aparl
from llal, I don’l soo llo issuo.
I jusl pul dovn somo random llouglls vlicl I lad on
llis issuo. I’vo boon ropoaling mysoIf a bil, bul llo poinl
romains: do vlal youonjoy doing andnol vlal somo ran-
dom guy on llo Inlornol is loIIing you lo do. Tlis is ospo-
ciaIIy lruo if you don’l roIalo vill vlal lo is saying. Of
courso, don’l lako my advico as an oxcuso nol lo oscaIalo,
bul ollor llan llal, if somolling fooIs rigll, llon jusl do
il. }usl don’l Iislon lo slupid Inlornol daling advico.
1o¸
1o¡
Who Defines your
Self-Esteem?
I vanl lo laIk aboul soIf-osloom and lov llo soduclion
communily givos you a lolaIIy fuckod up idoa aboul il.
Iol’s pick a IIA vlo caIIs limsoIf D} Iuji as a random
oxampIo. In lis laIks lo froquonlIy rallIos off a Iisl of buI-
Iol poinls aboul lis acliovomonls in lis lvonlios. Ho vas
in llo marinos, and in vory good plysicaI condilion. Ialor
on, lo mado a slilIoadof monoy andovonbocamo a lomo-
ovnor, and so on. Bul dospilo aII lloso acliovomonls lo
foIl Iiko slil bocauso —vail for il! —lo couIdn’l gol clicks.
BasicaIIy llo samo slory is loId, maybo nol as dramalicaIIy,
by ollor scam, or, pickup arlisls as voII.
Tloso guys prolly mucl lry lo loII you llal ovorylling a
guy las dono in lis Iifo amounls lo nolling if lo isn’l abIo
lo bang lol 18 lo zz yoar-oId vomon! I romombor road-
ing a posl by Roosl in vlicl lo vas making fun of somo
doclor. Roosl llougll llal guy vas slupid bocauso lo
didn’l roguIarIy gol lol young pussy, and llal lloro voro
ollor dudos vlo, jusl bocauso lloy sluff a coupIo of ran-
dom lvonly yoar-oIds, suddonIy fooI Iiko kings.

Hovovor, dofining your soIf-osloom by vlal somo ran-

I didn’l Iook up llal arlicIo. Yol, making an assumplion aboul llo
sox Iifo of somo doclor is rallor slupid. Roosl may find il lard lo con-
coivo, bul somo poopIo don’l caro llal mucl aboul golling Iaid, and
1o¸
dom18 or zo yoar oId girI llinks aboul you is so incrodibIy
slupidllal il’s nol ovonfunny anymoro. Iol mo slaro vill
you somo commonls girIs in llal ago rango lavo mado.
Ono girI askod mo vly I vonl lo ono llo bosl coIIogos of
my counlry vlon il’s “so boring” lloro. Slo said llal I
slouId lavo gono lo a parly sclooI Iiko Arizona Slalo in-
sload. A z1 yoar-oId loId mo aboul somo “absoIuloIy os-
sonliaI” quaIilios a guy musl lavo boforo slo vouId con-
sidor daling lim: 6’ fool laII (slo vas ¸’¸”), good Iooking,
Ioadod, voII-lravoIod, an indopondonl llinkor, gradualo
of an Ivy Ioaguo lypo coIIogo. Of courso, lo slouIdn’l bo
possossivo al aII. WoII, you gol llo drifl. Tloso voro jusl
lvo oxampIos, bul I couId go on and on bocauso I lappon
lo lavo a fov fomaIo cousins vlo aro bolvoon 18 and z1,
so I mool llom and lloir frionds.
Aparl from Iiko o.1º of llom, young girIs aro so imma-
luro llal soriousIy llinking aboul vlal lloy say or docido
lo do is lolaIIy slupid. Nov imagino llo lypicaI IIA vlo
basos lis soIf-osloom on lov many cIub clicks or ollor
loonago lollios lo is abIo lo fuck! Considoring my provi-
ous oxampIos, lov inloIIigonl do you llink llis idoa is`
If I voro lo do llis, llon aII llo llings I lavo acliovod in
Iifo, and I do llink I lavo acliovod a fair bil in Iifo by any
molric, aro supposod lo amounl lo nolling comparod lo
somo slruggIing bar londor vlo las bangod ono lundrod
clicks`
Tlink aboul your avorago IIA! Ho goos aroundcIubs and
bars and gols rojoclod by random vomon. Ho focusos on
soIf-improvomonl so llal lo can bang clicks. Ho Ioarns
lov lo loII slorios proporIy, invonls somo “roIo-pIays”,
ollors do gol Iaid bul don’l fooI llo nood lo pubIicizo llo facl. Roosl
limsoIf doosn’l gol Iaid mucl, so il’s quilo possibIo llal said doclor
gols moro girIs llan Roosl limsoIf, bul jusl doosn’l bollor loIIing llo
vorId aboul il. Aflor aII, pIonly of vomon suddonIy gol inloroslod in
a guy onco lloy Ioarn llal lo’s a doclor. — A. S.
1o6
Ioarns aboul NII and I don’l knov vlal ollor nonsonso
lo’s inlo. Ho goos llrougl omolionaI ups and dovns, bul
gIamorizos lis “journoy” lo an unimaginabIo dogroo and
imaginos il lo bo rovarding boyond boIiof. Ho spond lons
of lours ovory vook ovor many monlls and yoars, and
aII for vlal!` }usl so llal lo can gol vaIidalod by somo
loonago or adoIosconl girI` Is llis roaIIy vlal you vanl lo
vork for — llo vaIidalion of random loonago girIs`
Tloro aro ollor amazingIyslupidslalomonls poopIo mako,
sucl as, “if you don’l fuck clicks llon your gonos viII
nol bo passod on,” or somolling lo llis offocl. I llink il’s
duo lo Myslory. Bul, man, lloro is a Iol moro lo Iifo llan
fucking loonago girIs. I lopo lal you don’l Iol your mood,
goaIs in Iifo, and soIf-osloombo dofinod by vlal you llink
lloso vomon llink of you.
1o;
1o8
Building Positive
Reference Experiences
Mosl of us viII lavo lad niglls or jusl ollor limos of llo
day vloro you lavo como back lomo and gol inlo llis
nogalivo llougll Ioop, llinking llal you’ro nol good, vly
llo fuck you aro Iiko llis, vly you aro nol Iiko llal, and
vondoring vlollor you’ro going lo bo singIo for llo rosl
of your Iifo. Wlal llo soduclion communily offors as a
soIulion is random fooI-good garbago and “innor-gamo”
nonsonso. I am nol a big boIiovor in any of llal. I fooI a Iol
of llis comos dovn lo buiIding posilivo roforonco oxpori-
oncos vlicl you can Iook back on, consciousIy or subcon-
sciousIy, and say lo yoursoIf, “Dudo, llal’s jusl nol lruo!”
Iooking inlo roforonco oxporioncos is vaIuabIo for many
roasons bul I vanl lo focus on llo omolionaI aspocls. Iol
mo givo you an oxampIo firsl.
As I lavo monlionod a fov limos boforo, I lavo dono vory
voII for mysoIf profossionaIIy and acadomicaIIy. I gradu-
alod noar llo lop of my cIass in vlal is considorod lo bo
ono of llo louglosl coIIogos in my counlry. I lavo loId
a prosligious job in vlicl I vas consislonlIy among llo
lop porformors, and lavo rocoivod oulslanding roviovs in
anylling roIalodlo my vork. Bocauso I lavo so many pos-
ilivo roforonco oxporioncos lo back mysoIf, I raroIy quos-
lion vlollor I’m roaIIy good al my job. If I’m laving an
1oq
off nigll, my mind migll say, “Yoal, dudo, you’ro prob-
abIy nol roaIIy suilod for llis,” or, “WoII, buddy, I guoss
you’ro nol yol roady for llal!” Bul on llo ollor land, my
subconscious novor quoslions vlollor I’II ovor bo abIo lo
oarn onougl monoy lo Iivo a good Iifo, or vlollor I’II gol
a nov job if I gol firod from my curronl ono.
Will vomon il’s prolly mucl llo samo. I usod lo llink
llal maybo I vas loo ugIy and loo slorl, llal I viII maybo
novor lavo succoss vill vomon, and llal no ono Iikos mo.
Bul novllal I lavo buiIl up quilo a fovposilivo roforonco
oxporioncos, I can Iook back and say lo mysoIf, “Dudo,
slul up aIroady! IIonly of vomon Iiko mo.” Bocauso of
llal, I don’l ovon gol inlo llis circIo of nogalivo llouglls.
Somo parl of mo jusl can’l lako il soriousIy bocauso, voII,
simpIy loo many roaIIy nico vomon lavo Iikod mo. A dif-
foronl parl of mo is viIIing lo accopl llal I’mmaybo a dud
vlon il comos lo nolicing llo signaIs vomon sond oul, or
loII mo llal I’m nol aggrossivo onougl, or llal I jusl may
nol froquonlIy gol supor-lol vomon. Bul lloso days il’s
oxcoodingIy raro llal I loII mysoIf, “Ol slil, nobody Iikos
mo!”
By nov you may aIso lavo roaIizod vly doing a Iol of
indiscriminalo coId approaclos is lorribIo for your omo-
lionaI slalo. A lypicaI IIA novbio las llis vory prob-
Iom, namoIy llal lo las slorod loo many nogalivo rofor-
onco oxporioncos in lis load. If lo goos oul and randomIy
approaclos vomon, villoul any kind of pIan and vill
unroasonabIo oxpoclalions, lo viII invariabIy gol rojoclod
a Iol. Tlis viII jusl furllor add lo lis aIroady fuckod up
monlaI slalo.
Tlo soIulion las lvo parls. Iirsl, knov vlal lo Iook for,
and vlal you can roaIislicaIIy oxpocl for yoursoIf. Tlis
is caIIod living in reality. If you llink llal aflor golling
onougl “skiIIz” you migll soduco any voman, llon you
viII novor bo lappy. You viII onIy koop clasing somo-
11o
lling unroaI, and your roforonco oxporioncos viII novor
back up your succossos, Ioading lo moro and moro omo-
lionaI svings. If you approacl vomon vlo aro laIIor llan
you and gol slol dovn roguIarIy, llon you apparonlIy
do nol knov vlal lo Iook for. I llink lloro aro lvo or
llroo llings llal aro imporlanl lo koop in mind: TaIIor
vomon aro raroIy inloroslod. Tlon, il’s of courso a num-
bors’ gamo, so slalislicaIIy spoaking mosl vomon von’l bo
inloroslod in you lo bogin vill. Iooks aro vory imporlanl,
vlicl moans llal il gonoraIIy von’l lappon llal you’II bo
golling vomon vlo aro oul of your Ioaguo. Wlal kind
of vonuo you go lo is imporlanl, and so is laving somo-
lling in common vill llo vomon you aro going aflor. Of
courso, llings normaIIy don’l go smoollIy aII llo limo oi-
llor.
Onco you knov vlal lo Iook for, llo noxl slop is lo aclu-
aIIy pul yoursoIf in silualions llal aIIov you lo buiId pos-
ilivo roforonco oxporioncos. Tlis is vloro aclion is impor-
lanl. You von’l buiId roforonco oxporioncos by silling al
lomo and roading a book on pickup. Somo poopIo migll
novsay llal I’mloIIing poopIo lo bo loo accopling of lloir
silualion, andllal I don’l vanl llomlo improvo. Of courso
I couId loII you aboul llo IimilIoss polonliaI for soIf-im-
provomonl and llis and llal vlicl viII mako you do sig-
nificanlIy bollor. Bul isn’l il bollor lo lavo realistic oxpoc-
lalions so you can fooI conlonl`
Of courso, bo lappy vlon you occasionaIIy puncl abovo
your voigll! Or vouId you rallor vanl lo fooI fruslralod
aboul llo girIs you normaIIy gol and onIy vanl lo fooI
okay vlon you sporadicaIIy puncl abovo your voigll`
Onco you lavo onougl roforonco oxporionco and llo rigll
molrics, you viII jusl slop laving lloso randomomolionaI
ups and dovns. I lavon’l lad lloso for a vliIo nov. You
simpIy von’l Iislon lo your mind and lako llis soIf-laIk so-
riousIy vlon il lrios lo gol inlo ono of lloso unproduclivo
111
llougll Ioops bocauso you viII say lo yoursoIf, “Dudo,
llal’s jusl nol lruo!”
11z
Women are Just as
Clueless as Guys
Tloro is ono impIiod nolion llal comos across from a Iol
of daling advico. Il’s llo idoa llal vomon aro somolov
sociaIIy porfocl and llal if you manago lo improvo your
gamo onougl, al llo vory Ioasl, you slouId gol llo ma-
jorily of llo vomon vlo aro inloroslod in you. Hovovor,
vlal is mucl cIosor lo llo lrull is llal a Iol of vomon aro
jusl as cIuoIoss as guys vlon il comos lo daling, and llal
il lakos lvo lo lango.
Iol mo givo you a fov oxampIos from my roconl oxpori-
oncos. Tlo ollor nigll, I vonl lo a sland-up comody nigll.
Tloro vas llis girI vlo vas conslanlIy Iooking al mo and
smiIing vory soduclivoIy. Irom an acquainlanco I knov
llal slo vas singIo. I vaIk up lo lor lo clal for a bil. AIil-
lIo Ialor in llo ovoning vlon I vas aboul lo Ioavo, I askod
lor vlollor slo vanls lo do somolling vill mo on llo
vookond. SuddonIy slo gols aII norvous and slarls giv-
ing mo somo buIIslil. So I said, “Okay, no probIom.” and
movod on.
Il’s of courso possibIo llal I vas vrong in assuming llal
slo Iikos mo bul lloso days my inluilion is prolly spol-
on. I don’l knov vlal llo issuo vill lor vas, bul in my
viov, I did my parl of inilialing llo convorsalion, laIking
11¸
a bil and asking lor oul. Maybo slo vanlod lo clal moro,
maybo slo did nol vanl lo do somo ollor slil. Bul llo
poinl is llal ovory girI vanls difforonl llings and you can
onIy do so mucl. If llo girI doosn’l do lor parl, lloro isn’l
mucl you can do yoursoIf.
I romombor llis ono limo in a bar vlon I vas laIking lo
a girI and llon movod in roaIIy cIoso. SuddonIy llo girI
slarls golling aII mixodomolions andloIIs mo in quick suc-
cossion llal I smoII so good and aboul lovslo is sliII lurl
bocauso a guy of my nalionaIily onco dalod lor. Ho lad
promisod llal lo vouId marry lor bul dumpod lor Ialor
on. Afovdays back, I vas in bod vill anollor girI valcl-
ing a movio. Wo slarl golling a IillIo cuddIy, llon vo slarl
making oul and as I lry lo ramp up llo plysicaI oscaIa-
lion, slo is Iiko, “I am nol suro if I vanl lo do llis. I sliII
fooI lurl from my Iasl roIalionslip,” and somo ollor crap.
Ollor limos, llo issuos couId bo mucl simpIor. Say, you
aro oul vill your frionds al somo cooI ovonl, and loxl a
girI lo drop by as il’s going lo bo a Iol of fun — and llon
slo gols aII voird and sly, llinks slo doosn’l knov aboul
llo ovonl, vondors vlollor slo’II gol aIong vill llo poo-
pIo lloro and vlalnol. I romombor somo limo in NYC
vlon I vas aboul lo go lo a parly on a privalo yacll in
llo Hudson Rivor vill a friond. Il vas going lo bo a lo-
laIIy fancy parly, vill somo drop-doad gorgoous poopIo.
In my viov, il vas a no-brainor llal if I invilo somoono
lloy’II como. I caIIod up a fomaIo friond vlo Iivod cIoso
by and loId lor lo como ovor. Al firsl, slo aclod roaIIy
pricoy saying, “I don’l knov, I am roaIIy lirod.” In my
load, I vas, Iiko, roaIIy`! I askod lor onco moro, bul slo
aclod pricoy again so I llougll, “Iuck il.” Bul suddonIy,
vlon I loId lor, “OK. Don’l como,” slo says, “Okay, I viII
como bul I’m doing llis onIy for you and you ovo mo for
llis!” I lavo lad somo frionds loII mo simiIar slil vloro
lloy ask somo girI oul for a movio, and for no parlicuIar
11¡
roason slo viII acl roaIIy pricoy and oxpocl llal llo guy
viII ask lor oul lvo or llroo limos boforo slo viII say yos.
In lloso silualions you can bo porsislonl and il’s quilo pos-
sibIo llal llo girI viII como around Ialor bul il’s aIso lo-
laIIy fino if you llougll, “Iuck llis. I don’l vanl lo doaI
vill llis slil” andmovodon. YoupIayodyour parl, andil
lakos lvo lo lango. Yos, villoxporionco youcansonso bol-
lor vlal llo girI vanls and lurn lloso casos around. Hov-
ovor, you can onIy Iifl so mucl of llo voigll slo slouId
bo Iifling. Tlis is of courso no oxcuso for you lo nol pIay
your parl, bul a Iol of llo limos il roaIIy isn’l your fauIl
and lloro is onIy so mucl you can do.
Coming back lo llo originaI poinl, vlonovor somo dudo
loIIs youllal youlavo lo Iislon androIalo vill llo girI, nol
mako lor appoar Iiko a sIul, figuro oul lor Iogislics, lry lo
undorsland vlal slo Iikos, loxl lor al llo rigll limo vlon
slo is froo, connocl vill lor omolionaIIy, organizo an in-
lorosling dalo, koop llo convorsalion fun, bo porsislonl bul
nol bo cIingy, bo aggrossivo bul don’l croop lor oul, mako
slalomonls and don’l ask quoslions, croalo an “us vibo” —
llon, soriousIy, if you don’l vanl lo, llon jusl forgol aboul
il. If llo girI is nol pIaying lor parl, lloro is onIy so mucl
you can do.
So noxl limo, don’l bollor so mucl aboul boing smooll.
Don’l pul so mucl prossuro on yoursoIf. Don’l bollor
vlollor il’s an approprialo limo lo ask lor oul or vlollor
you slouId laIk somo moro vill lor. “SlouId I organizo a
coffoo dalo or is il okay lo slraigll caII lor ovor for a movio
al my pIaco`” “Is il okay lo jusl loxl ’loy, vlal’s up lov
you doing’ or slouId I como up vill somolling cIovor`”
RoaIIy, llis is jusl anollor form of suppIicaling lo vomon.
Do your bil, i.o. inilialo convorsalions, ask for lor plono
numbor, ask lor oul, mako a movo on a dalo, ask lor lo
como lomo vill you and so on, bul don’l vorry aboul bo-
ing smooll or croaling llo porfocl momonl. Il lakos lvo
11¸
lo lango.
Anollor roIalod poinl is llal in my oxporionco, difficuIl
vomon romain difficuIl. You migll llink, “Okay, Iol’s
pursuo llis girI for a vliIo ovon if I don’l roaIIy vanl lo
bocauso maybo, aflor a vliIo, slo viII bo aII normaI and
oasygoing!” Transformalions Iiko llal usuaIIy don’l lap-
pon. IIoaso don’l llink llal I’m a misogynisl. I don’l lalo
vomon. I’m jusl saying llo lrull vlon I say llal you can
onIy do so mucl. You can’l Iifl aII llo voigll vlicl slo is
supposod lo. AIso, pIoaso slop roading soduclion commu-
nily vobsilos llal rofor lo cIuoIoss mon as nords or gooks
bocauso lloro’s an impIiod assumplion llal vomon roaIIy
knovvlal lloy aro doing. Bul llo lrull is lloy aro jusl as
cIuoIoss as guys, if nol moro.
116
There is Much More to
Life than Women
I novor undorslood vly, in a communily of poopIo vlo
promolo “soIf-improvomonl” and llo goaI of boing “llo
bosl man you can bo”, somolov mosl llings ollor llan
vomon lako a backsoal. Tloro aro IIAs Iiko D} Iuji vlo
say llal lloy mado a Iol of monoy andvoro soIf-mado poo-
pIo, sorvod in llo marinos and vlalnol, and yol lloy foIl
lorribIo bocauso lloy voron’l golling vomon. I do suspocl
llal llo accompIislmonls aro omboIIislod, bul llo poinl
romains.
Or Iook al Rooslvlo ropoalodIy slalodllal lo doosn’l un-
dorsland vly poopIo bocomo doclors and Iavyors. Roosl
doosn’l ovon gol Iaid mucl limsoIf, dospilo lrying vory
lard. Yol, lo boIiovos llal jusl bocauso lo gols Iaid loro
and lloro vill somo poor girI in a llird-vorId counlry
dospilo nol laving any profossionaI acliovomonls, lo is
somolovsuporior lo guys vlo’vo buslodlloir ass in lloir
closon profossion. Somo guys gIorify llo pursuil of pussy
lo sucl an oxlonl llal lloy nogIocl mainlaining a normaI
sociaI Iifo and improving lloir profossionaI skiIIs. I ro-
mombor roading on somo IIA vobsilo llal if you aro a
doclor, Iavyor or bankor bul don’l gol many vomon, llon
il’s vorll quilling llal caroor and svilcling lo a slilly job
llal givos you moro floxibiIily, jusl so llal you lavo moro
11;
limo lo “gol llis aroa of your Iifo landIod.” Tlo slupidily
is boyond boIiof.
Horo is my lypollosis aboul lov llis aII vorks: Imagino
a guy vlo maybo vanls lo gol Iaid moro oflon, bul is oll-
orviso fino, or somoono vlo jusl noodod lo mako somo
minor clangos in lis Iifo. Ho couId go oul a fov limos
and mako nov frionds, bul lo’s aIso ovor-vorkod in lis
job. If a guy Iiko llal slumbIos upon somo IIA vobsilo,
lo may bo lomplod lo llink llal llo roason lo is unlappy
is nol bocauso lis vork-Iifo baIanco is slilly, or bocauso
lo finds IillIo inlrinsic vaIuo in lis profossion, bul bocauso
lo’s nol golling clicks. Boing somovlal ambilious, jusl
golling girIs isn’l onougl. SuddonIy, il’s supposod lo bo
aboul “modoIs and slrippors.” Ho roads somo moro, and
llinks lo las unIockod llis amazing socrol nobody oIso
around lim knovs aboul.
To pul llings inlo praclico, lo goos oul — and gols slol
dovn ovor and ovor. Tlis makos limfooI ovon vorso, bul
lo gols loId lo jusl pul moro limo inlo llis. IoopIo loII lim
lo buy obooks and DVD sols, and lo gol moro invoIvod.
LvonluaIIy, lo slarls associaling limsoIf vill ollor slupid
fucks on llo Inlornol and in roaI Iifo, Iiko in IIA Iairs.
Sinco lis sparo limo is Iimilod, lo soos lis normaI frionds
Ioss oflon and llus bocomos ovon Ioss lappy. Tlo manlras
lis IIA frionds clanl onIy roinforcos llal vomon aro llo
koy lo absoIuloIy ovorylling in Iifo.
Hovovor, nolling couId bo furllor from llo lrull. I llink
llal if vo aro nol ongagod in somolling inlorosling for
an oxlondod poriod of limo, vo invariabIy ond up fooIing
bad aboul oursoIvos. Bul il’s jusl an unspocifiod fooIing.
Al llis poinl, llougl, somo poopIo viII llink llal lloy
aro unlappy nol bocauso lloy don’l do anylling inlor-
osling vill lloir Iifo bul bocauso lloy aron’l golling any
vomon. Ollors don’l obsoss aboul golling Iaid bul aboul
a Iack of frionds or monoy, or somolling oIso. Tloy bo-
118
Iiovo llal if lloy voro onIy ricl, or lad moro frionds, or if
lloir mommy or daddy lad slovod moro affoclion vlon
lloy voro kids, llon lloy vouId bo lappior. Somo obsoss
ovor plysicaI allribulos. Wlalovor il is, onco llo silua-
lion rosoIvos ilsoIf llrougl vlalovor roasons, il viII nol
Iifl your mood pormanonlIy. You’II ond up fooIing jusl as
bad aboul yoursoIf onco llo ligl voars off.
Tlo onIy soIulion is lo clango your Iifo vloro il counls.
Iol mo jusl go llrougl a fov llings llal roaIIy do lavo a
lromondous impacl on your Iifo. My goaI is lo poinl oul
llal lloro is a Iol moro lo Iifo llan vomon. Tloroforo, bo-
foro youdocido lo fuIIy commil lo pickup, youmigll vanl
lo considor llal lloro aro ollor vays lo spond your limo,
and mucl moro bonoficiaI onos.
Tlo firsl ono is vorking oul. I lavo boon a skinny-fal por-
son mosl of my Iifo: no muscIos, skinny, yol quilo a bil of
body fal. I novor pIayod sporls, nor did I oxorciso. My
diolary labils voro absurdIy bad. As I gol inlo my mid
zos, I slarlod laving Iovor back pains, and lad vory Iov
onorgy IovoIs, moaning llal I gol lirod oasiIy. Hovovor,
onco I soriousIy slarlod vorking oul, aII lloso probIoms
disappoarod. Novadays I Iook bollor llan ovor. I lavo
moro onorgy, and my back pains aro a lling of llo pasl.
Lducalion and ompIoyabiIily aro vory imporlanl. Golling
inlo a lop univorsily las lad a profound impacl on my
Iifo. Tlo brand namo of my univorsily mado il oasy for
mo lo gol a good job and lo mako connoclions. Wlon I
vas raising capilaI for my company il loIpod a Iol, loo.
}usl dropping llo namo of my alma mater makos il oasy lo
slarl convorsalions in corlain circIos, and lloso poopIo aro
mucl nicor lo mo. I aIso lavo a slrong nolvork of aIumni
llal loIps mo IiloraIIy aII around llo vorId. AII of llis ap-
pIios lo laving a groal job, loo. If you aro associalod vill
a rospoclod company, many palls viII bo opon lo you.
11q
Work and oducalion aro nol ovorylling oillor. Having a
lobby you dodicalo yoursoIf lo can bo vory fuIfiIIing as
voII. Ior inslanco, I onjoy baIIroom dancing. Anyvloro
I go, no mallor if il’s a difforonl cily or a difforonl coun-
lry, lloro viII bo a group of poopIo vlo slaro my inlorosl.
Tlus, I nol onIy lavo fun dancing, il aIso aIIovs mo lo oas-
iIy mako frionds and mool vomon anyvloro in llo vorId.
I’vo boon in counlrios vloro I didn’l spoak llo IocaI Ian-
guago, bul vas abIo lo mako frionds villin a day or lvo
jusl llrougl mooling poopIo al a danco ovonl.
I do nol como from a priviIogod famiIy background. Tlo
onIy roason I lavo lad many groal oxporioncos in my Iifo
is bocauso I vorkod lard al vlal I fooI lo bo fundamonlaI
aspocls of Iifo. IronicaIIy, a vloIo buncl of guys vlo I
gol lo knovllrougl llo yoars vloso primo concorn voro
llo vomon in lloir Iifo, or llo Iack lloroof, voron’l doing
quilo as voII as mo, lo pul il miIdIy. I lavo nov dono a Iol
of groal llings in Iifo, and I lavo boon vill moro llan a
fov vomon. Yol, I corlainIy vouIdn’l counl any of lloso
vomon among llo lon groalosl oxporioncos I ovor lad in
Iifo.
AroIalod issuo is llal onco you slarl golling somo vomon,
you discovor ollor issuos. Al firsl you may nol bo lappy
bocauso you onIy gol a girI onco in a bIuo moon. Tlon
you viII llink your girIs aro nol boaulifuI onougl, and
if lloy aro, lloy don’l lavo a pIoasanl porsonaIily. Somo
may bo bad in bod, so you don’l ovon vanl lo lavo sox
vill llom ovor again. Wlal I can aIso loII you from my
porsonaI oxporionco is llal boing in a lorribIo roIalionslip
is infiniloIy vorso llan boing singIo.
Onco you aro ongagod vill somolling inlorosling in your
Iifo, vlicl may bo somolling oIso llan pussy, llon your
fooIings of IonoIinoss, unlappinoss or inadoquacy viII au-
lomalicaIIy disappoar. Tloso days, I am vorking on my
slarl-up and I am nol inloroslod al aII in doaIing vill any
1zo
buIIslil from vomon. I mucl rallor spond limo on my
vork bocauso il’s so oxciling lo mo. In facl, I lavo novor
boon so lappy and oxcilod as in llo pasl fov monlls of
my Iifo — and I onIy gol Iaid a fov limos in llo Iasl fov
monlls. Tloy voro aII ono-nigll slands I didn’l bollor
caIIing againbocauso my limo is bollor sponl onsomolling
oIso.
1z1
1zz
Farewell
1z¸
I lavo said ovorylling I vanlod lo say, and I am officiaIIy
pullinganondlo llis. I couIdof courso koopvriling aboul
random sluff, bul llal aIso goos fundamonlaIIy againsl
vlal I boIiovo, namoIy llal you don’l nood mucl sluff.
Ior qqº porconl of poopIo, if you jusl vonl aload and foI-
Iovod llo advico in llis book, you von’l nood mucl bo-
yond llal. Ior any furllor advico, Aaron SIoazy’s bIog
and lis forum aro mucl moro llan onougl.
Tloro is ono poinl vliclI vanl lo mako lo poopIo vlo sliII
aclivoIy road soduclion bIogs. IIoaso undorsland llal you
don’l nood llal mucl lloory, nor do you nood a pIollora
of idoas. A fov koy idoas aro aII you nood. Boyond llal,
you jusl lavo lo go oul and do sluff. ConslanlIy roading
IIA bIogs doosn’l roaIIy loIp and is acluaIIy jusl lurlfuI.
Tloro las aIso boon a clango in my Iifo. I quil my job and
I’m buiIding my ovn company nov. Going forvard, I
vanl lo spond mosl of my limo on llal and nol on any
soduclion-roIalod sluff. I migll sliII posl ovory nov and
llononSIoazy’s forumbul llal’s aboul il. Ior anyono vlo
lasn’l road llrougl llal yol, I can’l rocommond il onougl.
I am vory lappy llal I slarlod my bIog, and ovon proudor
vlon I Iook al llis book. Many poopIo lavo loId mo llal
lloy Iiko my vriling and gol a Iol of vaIuo oul of il. I aIso
llink llal I lavo aIroady slarod a Iargo quanlily of vlal-
ovor I vanlod lo vrilo aboul.
Tloro is jusl ono roquosl I vanl lo mako lo llo roadors of
llis book: IIoaso do vrilo aboul your oxporioncos lon-
oslIy somovloro, bo il jusl ono or lvo posls on a forum
vloro you can posl crilicaI arlicIos, or a dodicalod bIog. Il
doosn’l ovon mallor if you lavon’l acliovod aII your dal-
ing goaIs yol. In facl, if you lavon’l acliovod your dal-
ing goaIs, dospilo Iofly promisos of somo randomInlornol
daling coacl, llon caII llom oul on lloir buIIslil. Ior in-
slanco, if you’vo approaclod 1,ooo vomon bul vill IillIo
1z¸
succoss, llon don’l Iol somo guru loII you llal you’vo im-
provod your “innor gamo” or somo ollor buIIslil. Tloro
aro loo many non-Iogil daling coaclos oul lloro on llo
Inlornol, non-slop clurning oul garbago, and llo daling
advico vorId couId corlainIy uso moro Iogil poopIo, and
somo lonosl voicos.
Will aII llal said, adios guys.
1z6
Appendix by Aaron
Sleazy
1z;
Why Cold Approaching
is Pretty Much Useless
Ono of llo basic idoas of llo pickup communily is llo no-
cossily of “coId approaclos.” You oasiIy gol llo impros-
sion llal anylling oIso doosn’l roaIIy counl. RoaI IIAs
lavo lo go llrougl lundrods of rojoclions boforo lloy fi-
naIIy gol lo onjoy llo fruils of lloir Iabor. Tlis is al Ioasl
as llo slarod mylloIogy goos. In llo foIIoving I’m going
lo slov you vly llo concopl of coId approacling is mis-
Ioading. IIoaso koop your pilclfork in llo barn, bocauso
if you road on vill an opon mind, you viII nol onIy Ioarn
somolling aboul aboul maIo-fomaIo inloraclions. You viII
aIso undorsland vly, as guys gain moro oxporionco, lloir
balling avorago oflon goos up significanlIy. No, il is nol
bocauso lloir “gamo” gol bollor. Il’s somolling oIso.
Doponding on llo amounl of communily brainvasling
you lavo undorgono, il may bo lard for you lo svaIIov
llal succoss duo lo a gonuinoIy coId approacl doos nol
oxisl. Il is onIy duo lo ignoring or misinlorproling sociaI
cuos llal a guy llinks lo gol Iaid off a coId approacl. IooI
froo lo disagroo vill mo Ialor, bul pIoaso roadon, andcaro-
fuIIy considor my poinl. In llo ond, you may find llal you
agroo vill mo.
I romombor an oxclango vill a commorciaI pickup coacl
1zq
in llo commonl soclion of my bIog. I lad boon mocking a
rallor lragic claraclor of llo soduclion induslry for vasl-
ing lis limo roaming llo slrools in lis novor-onding soarcl
for pussy. Succoss is nol a friond of lis. In llo vidoos llis
guy posls, il is cIoar lo soo llal llo vomon normaIIy aron’l
inloroslod al aII and aro onIy poIilo lo lim. Tlo ollor as-
pocl I poinlod oul vas llo absurd amounl of limo “sarg-
ing” lakos. I mol a landfuI of slrool gamors vlo aII loId
mo llal lloir acluaI “convorsion ralo” — lloir lorminoI-
ogy, nol mino — vas rallor Iov.
IauI }anka, vlo is corlainIy compolonl in day gamo, says
llal lo las sox vill aboul 1oºof llo vomon vloso num-
bor lo gols. If you’vo paid allonlion in middIo sclooI, you
can doduco from llis llal llo acluaI succoss ralo is ovon
Iovor sinco nol aII llo vomon lo approaclos viII givo
lim lloir numbor. No, I do nol vanl lo basl }anka. I
don’l knov vlal lo’s boon up lo roconlIy, bul my viov
of lim is llal lo boIongs lo llo vory, vory fov lonosl dal-
ing coaclos on llis pIanol. }usl koop llo figuro in mind for
llo foIIoving parl.
Of courso, lloro aro vays lo inlogralo coId approacling
inlo your daiIy Iifo, so llal il comos al virluaIIy zoro cosl.
Bul onco youfroo uplimo inyour scloduIo lo “sargo HBs”,
llo silualion is mucl Ioss favorabIo. I monlionod a pickup
coacl vlo commonlod on my bIog boforo. Ho said somo-
lling Iiko, “You may bo rigll in gonoraI, bul vlal if you
lavo onougl limo for slrool gamo`” Tlis is a nonsonsicaI
objoclion. You may llink llal you can lako oul ono or lvo
lours a day for slrool gamo and laIk lo girIs vlo, for llo
vory mosl parl, viII givo you no indicalion llal lloy lavo
any inlorosl in you. Tlal’s of courso bocauso lloy don’l
lavo any. I don’l caro lov good Iooking you llink you
aro — mosl girIs viII jusl nol bo inloroslod in you, and in
mo noillor. To incroaso your odds, you couId lloroforo do
somolling vill your limo you roaIIy onjoy. SuroIy lloro
1¸o
is somolling llal’s moro compoIIing llan golling rojoclod
by ono girI aflor anollor in slrools or slopping maIIs.
Tlo aIlornalivo is lo pursuo a sociaI aclivily llal aIIovs
you lo oasiIy mool vomon vill vlom you lavo somo-
lling in common vill. Tlis viII inslanlIy lurn coId ap-
proaclos inlo varm approaclos. Iol’s jusl comparo lvo
poopIo: Iolo IIA and Clris Common-Sonso. Iolo says lo
Clris, “Dudo, you’ro sucl a Iosor. You do gay slil Iiko
yoga and dancing, vliIo I pickup clicks on llo slrools
ovory day.” Bul vlal doos Clris acluaIIy do` Ho onjoys
yoga and find llal il lonos lis body nicoIy. Bocauso lo ox-
coIs al il, lloro aro pIonly of lol girIs around vlo aro al
llo vory Ioasl curious aboul lim. Il sooms llal somo “gay
slil” Iiko maslory of llo crano poso gols lim dalos, and
somolimos Iaid.
Iurllor, Clris Iikos music, ospociaIIy lango. SaIsa is nol
roaIIy lis lling, so lo doosn’l go lloro. Bul vlal lappons
al a lypicaI lango cIass` Clris normaIIy finds llal lloro
aro aboul lvo girIs for ovory guy, llal llo girIs lavo on
avorago moro cIass llan your random girI in a slopping
maII. Lvon bollor is llal somo of llo vomon in lis cIass
indood soom lo bo aclivoIy Iooking.
If you nov llink, “SIoazy, you’ro jusl making llis up!” I
lavo lo loII youllal I’mnol. I lavo sponl aboul llroo yoars
doing yoga, and I can loII you llal il is indood fairIy oasy
lo laIk lo llo girIs lloro. YoubasicaIIy jusl lavo lo go lloro.
Of courso, llis onIy vorks if you go lo yoga cIass bocauso
you Iiko yoga, and nol, Iiko your lypicaI IIA croop, lo lil
on girIs. Dancing cIassos aro jusl as oxcoIIonl a vonuo lo
mool girIs vlo aIroady lavo somolling in common vill
you, bul I von’l boro you vill llo dolaiIs as il is jusl Iiko
vill yoga. Lvon bollor is llal you gol lo knovllo girIs on
a plysicaI IovoI. }usl llink of aII llo “kino” you couId do,
bro!
1¸1
WliIo Iolo IIA sponds mucl moro limo “sarging HBs”,
lis acluaI succoss ralo viII bo fairIy Iov. In llo vorsl caso,
lo is Iiko your avorago IIA and aII llo numbors lurn oul
lo flako. His buddy Clris, on llo ollor land, mools girIs
IiloraIIy as an addodbonus lo loning inlorosling skiIIs and
slaying in slapo. Aflor ono yoar lo can probabIy slarl
llinking aboul dancing lango compolilivoIy. On llo ollor
land, lis buddy is al a risk of golling an accounl for Zan
Iorrions’s Ars Amaloria forum, vloro lo canvrilo llal lo
las gollon ono dalo oul of aboul a llousand approaclos,
bul llal aII is fino bocauso lo onjoyod making llo girIs fooI
dosirod. (I visl I’d mako llis up.)
Iol mo doaI vill llo objoclions I prosumo somo of youviII
lavo.
1) “SIoazy, you buiIl your ropulalion as a cIub gamor. Tlis
vas nolling bul coId approacling! And don’l loII mo you
Iikod lloso pIacos!!”
Indood, I did onjoy llo nigll cIubs I vonl lo. I Iovod llo
music, llo crovd, andllo ambionco. Will vory fovoxcop-
lions I did slay avay from mainslroam cIubs. As poopIo
vlo vanl lo gol inlo somo of my oId langouls vook af-
lor vook nolico, llo door man is indood an obslacIo and
llo palrons aro carofuIIy soIoclod. Tlis vas lruo for llo
indio/oIoclro scono in Iondon, and lo a Iossor oxlonl il is
lruo for llo loclno scono in BorIin. If llo guy al llo door
doosn’l Iiko you, you don’l gol in. Bul fooI froo lo clock
oul somo mainslroam vonuo insload.
Hovovor, poopIo vlo oillor don’l go oul roguIarIy or vlo
go oul indiscriminaloIy don’l roaIizo llal llo guys al llo
door don’l rojocl poopIo randomIy. Tloy onIy loII you lo
lako a liko if you don’l fil inlo llo crovd. Yos, “lloro’s loo
many guys insido” and “sorry, vo’ro fuII” aro jusl oxcusos
lo aIIovyou lo savo faco. Wlon I vas onco vaIking dovn
lo ono of my favourilo valoring loIos in Solo in Iondon,
1¸z
and, aflor considorabIo limo in llo quouo, llougll I vas
aboul lo gol in, llo door guy puIIod mo asido and vlis-
porod, “}usl slay loro for a vliIo. Wo’ro a bil packod rigll
nov.” Soconds Ialor, lo vas loIIing llo noxl buncl of poo-
pIo llo samo oId oxcusos. Yos, I ovonluaIIy gol in and I
lad a bIasl. Tlo lako-avay mossago is: If you fil in, you’II
gol in, and if you gol in, you prolly mucl lavo a slamp of
approvaI on your foroload, and viII normaIIy find il oasy
lo laIk lo llo poopIo.
z) “Bul dudo, coId approacling vorks. Il roaIIy doos! I
jusl lad a dalo Iasl vook, aflor lilling on q8 girIs in a rov.
And jusl oarIior loday, I gol sovon moro numbors.”
As I said abovo, llo succoss ralos for gonuino coId ap-
proaclos aro vory Iov. Of courso, somolimos you’II gol
a girI, and if you aro Harvard-oducalod, and as oIoquonl
andlandsomo as IauI }anka, youmay ondupbanging lon
porconl of aII llo girIs vloso numbor you gol. Hovovor,
as you gol moro oxporionco in gonoraI, your ralio slouId
improvo. Tlis is nol bocauso you gol “bollor al gamo” bul
bocauso you Ioarn lo road signaIs bollor and lloroforo fo-
cus on girIs vlo soom lo bo rocoplivo. Tlus, you skip aII
llo quoslionabIo coId approaclos. Tlis is llo lrull bolind
coId approaclos. To lako a pago oul of llo markoling book
of IIAs, llis is indood “ono of llo lrulls IIAs don’l vanl
you lo knov.”
Tlo roason vly you may nov llink llal your gamo is
doconl and llal you “convorl x porconl of your coId ap-
proaclos” is jusl llal you can’l yol road signaIs proporIy
and lloroforo indiscriminaloIy approacl vomon. WliIo
you “run llo samo gamo” on ovory girI, you jusl lappon
lo occasionaIIy bump inlo ono llal lappons lo Iiko you
for vlalovor roason. Sinco you aro moro concornod vill
your gamo llan lor roaclion lo your prosonco, you may
miss llal slo lad boon gIancing ovor llroo limos aIroady.
Boing bIind lo llo obvious, you llink llal “gamo” gol you
1¸¸
llo girI. Hovovor, vill a moro porcoplivo oyo, you’d lavo
lo do onIy a fraclion of llo approaclos lo lavo llo samo
numbor of posilivo rosponsos.
AII of llis doosn’l moan llal you’II nov suddonIy gol ov-
ory girI, bul by focussing on girIs you lavo somolling in
common vill and vlo aro polonliaIIy inloroslod, you’II
do a Iol bollor. Hock, maybo pickup viII ovon slarl lo bo-
como fun for you, insload of boing a sourco of conslanl
fruslralion. Tlo varm approaclos gol you llo girIs. Your
coId approaclos gol you baroIy anylling, and llo IillIo
you gol fooIs Iiko vork, bocauso il is vork. }usl llink of aII
llo “slil losls” you lavo lo “pIov llrougl.” In compar-
ison, imagino you’d insload bo laIking lo a voman vlo
llougll, “Hm… I vondor vlo llal guy is!”
1¸¡
Fear of Rejection
Ioar of rojoclion is a slrango subjocl. A big parl of llo
mossago of llo soduclion induslry is llal you slouId lrain
yoursoIf lo bocomo immuno lo rojoclion. Tlis is vly you
aro supposod lo do “varmup approaclos” and go for llo
“lardosl sols” sucl as vomon vlo aro doop in convorsa-
lion or lloso vlo aro oul vill a guy llal migll voII bo
lloir boyfriond or lusband. Somo communily guys gol
badIy boalon up bocauso somo mon lavo a fairIy Iov loI-
oranco vlon somoono larassos lloir significanl ollor.
Your roIuclanco lo approacl vomon in sucl silualions is
a naluraI rosponso. You vouId lavo lo knov vory Iil-
lIo aboul sociaI inloraclions if you boIiovod llal il’s okay
lo approacl vomon vlo givo ovory indicalion llal lloy
don’l vanl lo bo dislurbod. Yol, IIAs loII you llal you
lavo lo ro-lrain yoursoIf. Hovovor, if you onIy ovor ap-
proacl random girIs vlo briskIy vaIk dovn llo slrool lo
calcl llo noxl subvay, llon you’II aIvays fooI Iiko an in-
lrudor. Lvon if you manago lo smollor your monlaI voico,
you viII onIy lurn inlo llo kind of claraclor you corlainIy
don’l vanl lo bo.
Willsomo modicumof sociaI skiII youvouIdn’l ovoncon-
sidor posloring vomon vlo soom busy. As I vrolo in
llo provious claplor, coId approacling random vomon,
ospociaIIy in losliIo onvironmonls Iiko a busy slrool, is a
rallor quoslionabIo pursuil. Al llo vory Ioasl, mako suro
1¸¸
llal lloro is somo commonaIily or llal llo crovd las oi-
llor boon soIoclod or is soIf-soIocling. Ior inslanco, go-
ing lo smaII indio-rock cIubs vloro poopIo gallor lo onjoy
a parlicuIar kind of music aro a bollor onvironmonl llan
Iargo cIubs llal lry lo appoaI lo a broad audionco and llus
can’l bo loo slricl al llo door. In an onvironmonl llal is
conducivo lo mooling vomon, or al llo vory Ioasl nol los-
liIo, you slouIdn’l lavo any ralionaI roason lo bo afraid
of approacling vomon vlo soom inloroslod. Tlis vouId
lako caro of your foar of approacling lo somo dogroo, if
nol IargoIy oIiminalo il.
If you Iack soxuaI oxporionco, you may fooI uncomforlabIo
vlon you’ro making a movo and, say, lako llo land of a
girI, or kiss lor, or ovon vlon you’ro jusl aboul lo vaIk
up lo lor bocauso slo vas smiIing al you. Tlis is a nal-
uraI and loaIlly roaclion bocauso il moans llal you aro
nol somo souIIoss approacl maclino bul a roaI luman bo-
ing. Indood, fooIing a bil oxcilod vlon vaIking up lo an
allraclivo voman normaIIy makos you moro allraclivo lo
lor as voII sinco slo’II nolico llal slo is nol jusl anollor
randomgirI for you lo lil on. As many oxporioncod IIAs
can loII you, vomon oflon slool llom dovn immodialoIy
bocauso il’s obvious lo llom llal lloy aro moroIy going
llrougl llo molions and Iack any kind of oxcilomonl or
parlicuIar inlorosl. If you’vo dono pubIic spoaking you
may knov llal ovon vill somo oxporionco you may sliII
gol a bil norvous oacl limo, bul as soon as you slarl lo
laIk, llis aII subsidos. Il’s quilo simiIar vlon approacling
vomon and you slouIdn’l llink llal you lavo lo Ioso aII
omolionaIily if you vanl lo bocomo proficionl al llis.
WaIking up lo a voman vlo sooms inloroslod, or al Ioasl
opon lo mooling nov poopIo, is onIy parl of llo ballIo.
LvonluaIIy youviII lavo lo soxuaIIy oscaIalo llo silualion.
Tlis migll moan laking lor land, loucling lor, making
oul, and finaIIy laving sox vill lor. An issuo I soo vill
1¸6
somo mon is llal lloy aro vory proud of llomsoIvos vlon
lloro is an allraclivo voman llal is viIIing lo spond limo
vill llom. Slo may Iaugl al your jokos in llo bar and
“accidonlaIIy” loucl you, and slo may ovon go on a fov
dalos vill you. Hovovor, bocauso lloso guys novor mako
a movo, lloy oillor ond up in llo droadod friond zono
or llo voman viII ovonluaIIy slop rolurning lloir caIIs.
Tlo probIom vill lloso guys is llal lloy don’l vanl lo
Ioso vlal lloy aIroady lavo. Tloy soomlo llink llal lloy
vanl lo soIidify lloir posilion and carofuIIy procood in or-
dor lo nol ruin il. Yol, by vailing, llo vomon viII ovon-
luaIIy Ioso lloir inlorosl. Aflor aII, lloy aro Iooking for a
boyfriond, or a Iovor, or jusl a random ono-nigll sland.
I find il quilo ironic llal guys vlo aro afraid lo oscaIalo bo-
causo lloy vanl lo avoid rojoclion dramalicaIIy incroaso
lloir clanco of rojoclion. If you ovor find yoursoIf von-
doring vlollor you slouId mako a movo, llon il’s ligl
limo. If you manago lo ovorcomo your foar of soxuaI os-
caIalion, you’II find llal you don’l lavo mucl roason lo
vorry aboul your foar of rojoclion anymoro. Tlo roason
is simpIy llal a voman vlo isn’l inloroslod in you vouId
nol pul lorsoIf in a posilion vloro you couId gol soxuaI
vill lor. If slo vasn’l inloroslod in you, slo vouIdn’l
disappoar inlo a dark cornor vill you in llo cIub, slo
vouIdn’l go oul on a dalo vill you, and slo corlainIy
vouIdn’l como ovor lo your pIaco lo cook or “valcl a
movio.”
1¸;
1¸8
Virginity, Schmirginity
I somolimos mool mon vlo lavo no soxuaI oxporionco.
Somo posl on my forum, ollors book plono coacling sos-
sions vill mo. Hovovor, duo lo llo vay I lavo posi-
lionod mysoIf, I lardIy ovor mool llo sloroolypicaI soduc-
lion communily guy vlo vouId lavo lo spond lvo yoars
on llomsoIvos jusl lo sorl oul lloir “foundalions.” Tloso
normaIIy faII for llo omply promisos of soduclion com-
panios vlo promiso siIvor buIIols. You knovllo driII, il’s
aII aboul “Hova ¸’¡”, Sly, Asian Guy Dalos ModoIs Wlo
Tovor Ovor Him … and Can Toacl You To Do Tlo Samo
In Tlroo Slorl Days!” Tlis vas lakon vorbalim from llo
vobsilo of IIA D} Iuji.
On llo ollor land, llo guys I loacl aro avaro llal lloso
markoling mossagos aro buIIslil, and llal lloy lavo lo gol
in slapo, dross voII, and vork on lloir sociaI skiIIs firsl.
Tloy aIso knov llal lloy slouId, no mallor lov laII lloy
aro, Iook for girIs vlo aro al mosl lloir loigll and idoaIIy
a bil slorlor. Hoigll pIays an onormous roIo, and if you
vanl lo incroaso your clancos, llon oillor vako up bo-
ing Tom Cruiso or forgol aboul puIIing 6’ laII clicks vlon
you’ro ¸’¸”.
Tlon lloy loII mo llal lloro is somolling nobody knovs
aboul llom, namoIy llal lloy aro sliII virgins, and llal llis
is a lugo burdon for llom. Il can bo, bul il doosn’l noc-
ossariIy lavo lo bo burdonsomo if you lavo no oulIol for
1¸q
your sox drivo. Any kind of sociaI prossuro is imaginod,
bocauso nobody knovs llal you aro a virgin. In facl, aflor
llo firsl limo vory IillIo viII clango in your Iifo. IrobabIy
you’II como villin a fov slorl momonls or nol al aII, and
you may ovon llink llal il vasn’l llal groal. Having sox
is nol somo kind of rilo of passago.
If you aro a confidonl and sociaI guy, nobody viII ovon
llink llal you aro a virgin. I vas a Ialo bIoomor mysoIf.
Hovovor, for somo slrango roason I lad a ropulalion of
boing good vill vomon. Tlis vas bocauso I vasn’l in-
limidalod by llom and aIso bocauso I lad a vory slrong
prosonco. Tloro voro pIonly of limos vlon ovon somo of
my cIosor frionds voro asking mo for advico aboul girIs.
Tloy sav llal I vas comforlabIo laIking lo girIs, and llus
concIudodllal I vas golling Iaida Iol bul doIiboraloIy kopl
a IovprofiIo. I lavo loard simiIar slorios fromsomo of llo
guys I’vo vorkod vill.
Il’s lolaIIy okay if you vanl lo gain soxuaI oxporionco. Bul
if llis is your goaI, llon jusl focus on il and don’l llink
aboul vlal ollors migll llink of you. MaIo virginily is
a sociaI ficlion, and llo girIs von’l bo abIo lo loII. If you
como loo oarIy, llon you voro loo oxcilod, vlicl somo
girIs may ovon find flalloring. On llo ollor land, if you
can’l como al aII bul poundavay for a Iong limo, slo prob-
abIy von’l compIain oillor. AIso, if you lavo an issuo nol
golling il up — and llis is nol jusl roIalod lo maIo virgins
— llon mosl girIs viII bo undorslanding as voII. Suro,
you can carry somo Viagra piIIs in your pockol if you fooI
llo nood. Bul if you don’l vanl lo, and I corlainIy don’l
oncourago poopIo lo lako so-caIIod Iibido onlancors, llon
you’II bo fino as voII.
IrobabIy ovory girI vill jusl a modicum of soxuaI oxpori-
onco lad il lappon llal llo guy couIdn’l gol lard onougl
for ponolralion. So vlal` Slo’s usod lo il, slo may undor-
sland llal you aro lirod, and if slo Iacks confidonco, vlicl
1¡o
is common among vomon, llon slo may ovon llink llal
il’s lor fauIl and mako oxcusos. RoIax, man! Mosl vomon
lavo mucl Ioss sox llan you llink and viII cul you somo
sIack. Somo viII ovon mako food for you and aIIov you
lo rosl, loping for a propor sox sossion llo noxl morning.
IaslIy, lo roaIIy poinl oul llo absurdily of maIo virgin-
ily: imagino lloro vas a big sugar drink brand, and lloy
slarlod a $zoom advorlising campaign vill sIogans Iiko,
“Havo you dono il aIroady` AII your frionds lavo.” Il’s
buiIl around llo concopl of sugarinily. Sinco aII llo poo-
pIo around you aro brainvaslod, lloy buy lloso drinks
in drovos and vanl lo figuro oul vlollor ollors lavo Iosl
lloir sugarinily as voII aIroady. Hock, lloy ovon loaso oll-
ors vlo say llal lloy aro nol llal inloroslod in il, or vlo
soomlo bo loo mucl inlo organic foods. Tlon lloy lurn lo
you and vondor... Bul vlal can lloy doduco` Aflor aII,
lloro is no plysicaI clango al aII. Ior aII lloy knov, you
couId drink llal sluff socrolIy. Bul imagino you voro vory
insocuro and liglIy suscoplibIo lo advorlising, and couId
no Iongor sland your sugarinily!
Tlis is a nonsonsicaI sconario. Givon lov somo fads go,
and sooing vlal kind of nonsonso calclos on in socioly,
I don’l ovon llink il’s llal absurd. Tloro is aIvays a nov
in-lling, and many fooI a Iol of sociaI prossuro lo conform.
Il’s ovon moro amusing sinco lloso poopIo don’l ovon ro-
aIizo llal llo iniliaI markoling mossago vas onliroIy arli-
ficiaI. Of courso, sox drivo is roaI. Hovovor, poopIo can
noillor smoII llal you aro a virgin, nor is your numbor
of soxuaI parlnors vrillon on your foroload. So jusl roIax
and vork on improving your Iifo, if you fooI llal a Iack
of soxuaI opporlunilios is a probIomfor you. Sox isn’l llal
fabuIous anyvay. Suro, il’s nico, bul il las IillIo lo do vill
llo imago convoyod in somo movios or lov ollors migll
laIk aboul il. Il’s yol anollor pIoasanl slimuIus, bul il cor-
lainIy slouIdn’l guido your Iifo.
1¡1
1¡z
Women Cannot Read
Your Mind
Inoxporioncod mon aro oflon vorriod llal lloir inoxpori-
onco is visibIo and llal vomon viII bo abIo lo quickIy spol
llis. I can assuro you llal is absoIuloIy nol llo caso. In
llo provious claplor I gavo you somo good juslificalion
for llis roasoning, bul Iol mo roIay somo anocdolos from
my porsonaI oxporionco.
Ior a coupIo of yoars I lavo boon soxuaIIy vory aclivo, bo-
foro I sollIod dovn and finaIIy marriod. Yol, il vas parl
of my Iifo lo soo lvo lo llroo girIs simuIlanoousIy, in ad-
dilion lo ono nigll slands on llo vookond. I aIso quickIy
ropIacod llo vomon I vas in a casuaI roIalionslip vill.
My modoI of oslabIisling soxuaI roIalionslips vas basod
on llo idoa of golling inlimalo vory quickIy, finding oul
vlollor lloro is soxuaI compalibiIily, and llon soo lov
far boll of you vanl lo lako llis. I oillor lad sox llo samo
nigll, or al llo vory Ialosl on llo firsl dalo.
Wlal I lavo nolicod is llal quilo a fovvomon aro curious
aboul your soxuaI lislory, bul llis may lavo boon bocauso
I vas moving so fasl. I normaIIy ignorod lloso quoslions,
bocauso I am aIso nol parlicuIarIy inloroslod in llo soxuaI
lislory of llo girI. Il’s quilo random anyvay. Hovovor,
onco a girI askod mo, I loId lor lonoslIy llal I lavon’l
1¡¸
boon vory oxporioncod and vas curronlIy in llo procoss of
calcling up. Slo llon Iookod al mo for a momonl or lvo,
and llon slo ropIiod, “Do you knov vlal` By llo vay
you acl il is lolaIIy obvious llal you lavon’l boon vill
many vomon.” I llon cIarifiod llal I lavo boon vill a
fairIy Iargo numbor of girIs, so slo clangod lor slalomonl
lo, “SliII, I can fooI llal you lavon’l boon vill vomon for
a long time.”
I found llis quilo amusing. You knov, vomon soom lo
vanl lo losl llo valors and if you aro soomingIy loo con-
fidonl, somo lry lo undormino your confidonco. I don’l
quilo rocaII lovoflon I savllal girI, bul givon llal I lavo
no dislincl momory, il vas probabIy llo usuaI lvo lo llroo
limos. Anyvay, I mado a monlaI nolo lo oxporimonl and
soo lovollor vomon vouId roacl. Il didn’l lako Iong un-
liI I puIIod anollor girI lomo. Sox vas good and slo vas
prolly cooI, so I Iol lor slay ovor. Wo lung oul for a vliIo
aflor a Ialo broakfasl. As I vas vaIking lor lo llo lramsla-
lion, slo said, “Can I ask you somolling`” Slo procoodod
lo ask mo vill lovmany girIs I’vo boon vill, bocauso slo
lad novor oncounlorod a guy vlo vas moving so quickIy.
I loId lor llal I lad Iosl counl of il. Slo smiIod and said
llal slo llougll somolling Iiko llal. Do you nolico llo
pallorn` I kopl doing my A/B losls, and il lurnod oul llal
basicaIIy no mallor vlal I said, llo vomon vouId basi-
caIIy cIaim llal il vas vrillon aII ovor mo. Novor lavo
I loard, “Ol, I lolaIIy road you vrong.” I onco cIaimod
llal I lad boon in a Iong-lorm roIalionslip for a docado,
and llal slo lad boon my firsl ono-nigll sland. Of courso
llon my “oxporionco and malurily” voro lolaIIy obvious
and somolling slo “couId jusl fooI” vlon I vas approacl-
ing lor.
Dospilo mylls porpolualod in llo mass modia, vomon ro-
aIIy aron’l llal groal al roading ollor poopIo. Al bosl, lloy
aro marginaIIy bollor llan your avorago guy, and I vouId
1¡¡
ovon doubl llal. Tloir oflon-loulod psycloIogicaI compo-
lonco primariIy sloms from roading vomon’s magazinos,
and laking mado-up psycloIogicaI losls soriousIy. Il doos
foods lloir ogo, andbocauso manyvomonlako lloso quos-
lionnairos soriousIy, lloy lond lo viov sociaI inloraclions
in a grossIy simpIislic mannor. }usl imagino you landod
oul a muIlipIo cloico aIgobra quiz llal lad no vrong an-
svors. Tlo biggosl morons vouId vaIk avay, llinking
lloy lavo maslorod llo subjocl. Womon’s magazinos aro
on llal IovoI. }usl lavo a Iook al porsonaIily losls vill li-
lIos Iiko “Wlal kind of fomaIo aro you`”, or “Wlal’s His
Inlimacy IQ`”
Iol mo concIudo llis claplor by loIIing you ono of my
moro amusing slorios. Sinco I vas going llrougl quilo
a fov vomon, I lad my fair slaro of scaros. My GI vas
lloroforo sooing mo prolly froquonlIy. Onco lo look mo
asido and said, “Can I ask you vill lov many vomon
you’vo lad sox vill`” I loId limllal I lad Iosl counl and
couIdn’l ansvor lis quoslion. Ho rolorlod vill, “Wlal
aboul llo Iasl llroo monlls`” I ropIiod llal llo numbor
vas probabIy bolvoon 1¸ and zo. Ho llon slook lis load,
saying llis vas abnormaI, and boforo I knov il, I found
mysoIf al llo rocoiving ond of a spoocl on llo dangors of
sox addiclion. Ho concIudod by asking mo vlollor I vas
pursuing vomon onIy lo gralify my ogo. Tloro vas somo
lrull lo llal, and I ondod up Ioaving lis offico vill llo
businoss cardof a friondof lis, a lrainodpsycloIogisl vlo
vorkod as a sox llorapisl. I quickIy slruggod llis off, bul
kopl llo businoss card.
As any guy vill a bil of oxporionco can confirm, il may
lappon llal you Ioso your inlorosl in a girI rallor quickIy,
somolimos IiloraIIy al llo oxacl samo momonl you como.
I’m nol a compIolo dickload, llougl, so I novor kickod a
girI oul immodialoIy aflorvards. I lad ondod up vill a
girI vlo vas corlainIy allraclivo, bul bocauso vo ondod
1¡¸
up in bod so quickIy I somolov missod llal slo lad a
rallor obnoxious porsonaIily. As slo drossod lorsoIf, slo
casuaIIy askod mo aboul my soxuaI lislory. I lad gollon
borod of lor aIroady, so I said, “Nol llal many acluaIIy.
}usl llroo or four, and il aIvays jusl kind of lapponod.
You knov, I am roaIIy nol llal good vill girIs, bul poopIo
oflon llink I am jusl bocauso I lappon lo bo laII. I’m nol
ovon llal confidonl, bul bocauso I’m laII poopIo llink so.”
Tlis mado lor smiIo gIoofuIIy. Womon roaIIy Iap il up
vlon you “opon up” lo llom. Slo slovod groal undor-
slanding, bul slo couIdn’l loIp bul confoss llal slo foIl
llal lloro vas somolling off vill mo, and lriod lor land
al rovisionisl lislory. I vas quilo amazod llal slo mado
il sound as if slo lad acluaIIy puIIod mo. Tlis vas a bil
loo mucl for mo lo lako. Nov llis pompous IillIo dipslil
kind of pissod mo off, so I slornIy Iookod al lor and said,
“Do you roaIIy boIiovo llis`”
“Wlal do you moan`”
“Do you boIiovo vlal you jusl said`”
“Yoal, vly vouIdn’l I`”
“Good. Do you aIso boIiovo vlal I lavo loId you`”
“Wlal do you moan`”
“Do you roaIIy boIiovo I’vo onIy boon vill llroo or four
girIs in my Iifo`”
“Yoal, I guoss so.”
“YouroaIIyboIiovo ovorylling poopIo loII you, don’l you`”
I llon vonl llrougl my dosk and slovod lor llo businoss
card of llal sox llorapisl. I loId lor llal I’m curronlIy bo-
ing lroalod for sox addiclion, llo roason boing llal ovor
sinco I Iosl my virginily al llo ago of 1z I can’l slop clas-
ing girIs, and llal I lavo sIopl vill oasiIy ovor ¸oo girIs,
probabIy moro, bul llal il vas impossibIo for mo lo koop
lrack of llo numbors. I llon did somo monlaI arillmolic
1¡6
for lor, “proving” llal ¸oo vas acluaIIy a rallor consor-
valivo oslimalo. Slo Iookod al mo vill a bIank slaro, and
aflor I lad finislod, slo vas quick lo pack lor sluff and
Ioavo llo aparlmonl. Tlo Iasl lling I loard vas, “I don’l
vanl lo bo vill a sox maniac Iiko you!” Slo didn’l ovon
say goodbyo.
Isn’l il funny llal vomon can road your mind` Lxcopl
vlon lloy can’l, vlicl is aII llo limo. If you llink llo girI
you aro inloracling vill migll lavo an issuo vill your
roaI or imaginod Iack of soxuaI oxporionco, llon loII lor
llal you’vo brokon up vill your Iong-lormgirIfriond and
lavon’l quilo gollon ovor il yol. GirIs Iovo llal. Bul nor-
maIIy you slouIdn’l caro aboul vlal slo migll llink. If
you acl confidonl, slo’II assumo anyvay llal you puII a
girI ovory limo you go oul — bocauso you jusl gol lor.
Somo vomon lavo inlorosling vays of roasoning. If you
vanl lo avoid llo issuo aIlogollor, you oillor ignoro any
quoslions aboul your soxuaI lislory, or say somolling Iiko,
“You don’l vanl lo knov.” Tlis vas my slandard ropIy,
and in facl no girI vanlod lo knov moro. Tlon lloy aulo-
malicaIIy assumo you’ro llo roincarnalion of Don }uan, no
mallor if il’s lruo or nol. Bul sinco vomon aro ol-so por-
coplivo and can road your mind, il doosn’l roaIIy mallor,
or doos il`
1¡;
1¡8
The
Looks-Money-Status
Triad
Ono of llo biggosl Iios of llo soduclion induslry is llal il
doosn’l mallor lovyou Iook, lovlaII you aro, lovmucl
monoy you mako, and so on. AII llal mallors is lovgood
your “gamo” is. Hovovor, if you’ro roading llis book,
you may lavo Ioarnl llal gamo doosn’l accounl for aII llal
mucl if you Iack in ollor aroas. Tlus, I vanl lo givo you
a briof ovorviov of llo main dolorminanls of succoss vill
vomon. If you aro nol doing voII, you migll vanl lo pay
allonlion nov. I viII onIy briofly go llrougl lloso poinls.
Viov llis claplor as a romindor, nol as a manuaI aII by
ilsoIf.
Iirsl, vo aII lavo gonolic Iimilalions. Suro, if youaro slorl,
llon llink aboul voaring sloos vill a looI and pulling
loigll-incroasing soIos in llom. I llink llis is porfoclIy
Iogilimalo sinco mosl girIs, ospociaIIy slorlor onos, avoid
voaring flal sloos loo. Tloy vanl lo Iook laIIor, so if you
nood lo, llon pIoaso go aload and do llo samo. Hoigll
aIso boaulifuIIy iIIuslralos llo roIalivily of Iooks. If youaro
¸’8” you viII bo slorl for a girI vlo is 6’ laII. On llo ollor
land, if slo is jusl ¸’¸”, llon slo probabIy von’l compIain
1¡q
mucl. Tlo laIIor girI probabIy vouIdn’l considor you as a
soxuaI parlnor, bul famo and monoy can lip llo baIanco in
your favor. So, if you aro slorl, mako yoursoIf Iook laIIor.
In any caso, you may vanl lo vork on your posluro. Tlis
viII aIso mako you Iook moro confidonl, vlicl is an addi-
lionaI pIus. Noxl, vork oul. Tloro is no nood lo buIk up,
bul al llo vory Ioasl bo lonod. Dross voII, roIalivo lo your
onvironmonl.
Mako suro you lavo onougl monoy. No, you don’l lavo
lo bo ricl, ovon llouglil suroIy loIps. Boing ricl las somo
disadvanlagos, so don’l fooI bad if you aro jusl scraping
by. Hovovor, ospociaIIy if you aro oyoing a polonliaI Iong-
lorm roIalionslip, you may vanl lo mako al Ioasl sIigllIy
moro llan llo girI. Womon vanl lo marry up. If you don’l
boIiovo mo andllink llal gamo viII IovoI llo pIaying fioId,
llon pIoaso do somo rosoarcl and Iook around. Womon
normaIIy don’l pick any random guy as lloir boyfriond.
Dospilo fominism, many vomon cIing on lo lradilionaI
gondor roIos vlonovor lloy oxpocl an advanlago from il.
In facl, llis is ono of llo main crilicisms againsl fominism
from llo MGTOW movomonl, vlicl slands for “Mon Go
Tloir Ovn Way.”
Don’l Ioso mucl sIoop aboul your slalus or Iack lloroof.
RoaIislicaIIy spoaking, you’II onIy ovor gol girIs fromyour
sociaI slralum, or girIs vlo boIong lo a Iovor slralum.
Ono-nigll slands aro anoxcoplionllal onIy provo llo ruIo.
Mako suro you fil in voII vill your onvironmonl. Tlis is
acluaIIy a paramolor you can gamo prolly oasiIy. If you
mako good monoy, bul vanl lo Iivo on llo Ippor Lasl
Sido, llon you viII fooI as if you’ro slruggIing jusl lo gol
by, comparod lo somo of your noiglbors. Hovovor, if you
movod lo an aroa vloro you voro significanlIy abovo llo
modian incomo, your onliro silualion vouId improvo. Il’s
nol quilo so slraigllforvard as I may mako il sound, bul
you suroIy gol llo idoa.
1¸o
In slorl, vork oul, Iook prosonlabIo, and gol your Iifo in
ordor. If you vanl lo incroaso clancos vill vomon dra-
malicaIIy, you slouId focus on a parlicuIar scono. Ior in-
slanco, if you aro roaIIy inlo dancing lango, llon bocomo a
bil moro aclivo, go lo somo miIongas and bocomo a knovn
faco. You viII bo abIo lo oasiIy mool girIs lloro. Tlis is
jusl a random oxampIo, bul il’s nol parlicuIarIy difficuIl
lo mool ollor poopIo, incIuding polonliaI girIfrionds and
Iovors, llrougl common aclivilios.
1¸1
1¸z
One Step After Another
Anollor issuo I oflon oncounlor is llal poopIo lavo oxpoc-
lalions llal aro oul of loucl vill roaIily. DoublIossIy, llis
is fuoIod by slady markoling promisos by various pickup
companios. Tloy cIaim llal any guy viII Ioarn lo puII
modoI-caIibro girIs if lo jusl allondod a vookond bool-
camp. As lloso vlo sponl llo roquirod sovoraI lundrod
or a fov llousand doIIars lavo Ioarnl, il’s nol quilo so
simpIo. In Debunking the Seduction Community I laIk aboul
vly boolcamps don’l vork. IIoaso road llal obook if you
vanl lo Ioarn moro aboul llis lopic. Rigll nov, I ammoro
concornod vill sloving you vlal you can do lo gol bol-
lor.
You lavo lo koop in mind llal improvomonl can bo a Iong
procoss. Yos, il is lruo llal I gol vory good in an unusuaIIy
slorl amounl of limo. Hovovor, in my caso aII llo piocos
voro in pIaco. I jusl didn’l bollor vill girIs boforo, and
onco I did, il vas corlainIy vory advanlagoous llal I vas
laII, in slapo, and Iiving in SoHo in Iondon. In addilion,
I lad copious amounls of sparo limo on my lands. You
may nol bo in sucl a Iucky slarling posilion.
If youlavo novor Iiflodvoiglls inyour Iifo, il vouIdbo Iu-
dicrous lo allompl boncl-prossing your ovn voigll dur-
ing your firsl limo in llo gym. Yol, lloro aro pIonly of guys
vlo llink lloy can go from lardIy ovor inloracling vill
vomon lo going lo a cIub on lloir ovn and puIIing a girI
1¸¸
lomo for a ono-nigll sland. I do llink llal il can bo a Iol
oasior lo gol a ono-nigll sland llan a dalo, nol jusl bocauso
il’s Ioss of a limo commilmonl. Hovovor, if you aro nol
comforlabIo vill your soxuaIily, you viII find il vory dif-
ficuIl lo puII off. Tlus, you bollor “praclico” by going on
dalos vill sovoraI vomon, ovon on a socond or llird ono
if nood bo. Aim lo bocomo comforlabIo in llo company of
vomon, and Ioarn lo oscaIalo soxuaIIy. Onco you can do
llal, you can vorry aboul bars and cIubs, bul clancos aro
llal you may nol ovon nood lo anymoro.
Mako anallompl lo buiIda sociaI circIo firsl, andfindsomo
aclivilios llal inlorosl you. Tlis can bo a groal opporlu-
nily lo Ioarn lov lo do somolling on your ovn. Aflor aII,
if you aro loo inlimidalod signing up for a gym mombor-
slipandvorking oul onyour ovn, llonlovdo youllink
you’d do in a nigll cIub on your ovn` IIaying sporls
slouId improvo your posluro. Yoga is aIso vory good for
llal. If you aro vory uncomforlabIo loucling girIs, llon
I can loII you a socrol: go lo a dancing cIass! You’II lavo
no cloico bul lo plysicaIIy inloracl vill many girIs, and
you’II aIso Ioarn lov lo mako and loId oyo conlacl. Tlis
slouId buiId your confidonco quickIy, and llo offocl il las
on your daling Iifo viII bo nolicoabIo. Il can bo vory oasy
lo gol dalos from dancing cIassos, so il’s probabIy vorll
clocking oul.
Iixing your posluro may lako limo, golling in slapo doos
loo. Doponding on your slarling posilion, il can aIso bo
quilo an offorl lo Ioarn lov lo casuaIIy laIk lo poopIo. If
you nood llo limo, llon lako il. I do llink llal llis is abso-
IuloIy nocossary, bocauso if your “foundalions” aron’l in
ordor, you viII slruggIo sovoroIy in cIubs or bars, jusl Iiko
you’d slruggIo boncl-prossing 18o pounds if you’vo novor
Iiflod voiglls boforo.
1¸¡

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