As Violet turned away, Raphael looked at Jonathan. He didnt see a bad guy.

He saw a heartsick kid who only wanted the love of the woman who had just left him. Who had just left them both. Suddenly, Raph wasnt so angry at John anymore. In a weird way he understood him. He knew what it was like to be an inch away from the love of his life and not be able to do a thing about it. He knew what it was like to pine over a girl that would never let him in. He knew what it was like to not stand a chance. You know J, Im still a hell of a lot pissed with youBut I understand where youre coming from. Shes not someone thats easy to get over. John was silent as he looked vacantly at Raph, his eyes confused and hurt. NoShes not. Silence. Just so you know. I understand you as well, more than you might think. But just remember, you may feel that since shes being nice to you, shes forgiven you. But youre wrong. Shell never forget what you did to her. And I know youre a nice guy and all, but I hope that whatever you two have goin on crashes and burns, because I was here first. And Im not going to lie, I want to be here last. Raph couldnt help but laugh. You have some balls, my friend. Ill give you that. But dont think for a second that Im giving up either. I love her. And even if she doesnt know it yet, she loves me too. And Im not going to let some old, dried up, jock ex boyfriend ruin that for us. You may have had her first, but she left, and if Im not mistaken, that means she couldnt have cared about you that much. Johns face hardened, and Raph half expected to feel one of his meaty fists in the side of his face. Bring it on. But Js mammoth frame loosed and he offered a good natured smile. And that ignorance right there is why youre going to lose.

Then I heard him. I didnt register anything else. I didnt hear the cheers from the crowd, I didnt feel the splatter of cheap beer on my shoes and I didnt see Vals face as she saw Brody on screen. All I could hear was his voice. The voice I didnt think Id ever hear in this lifetime again. The voice that I ran away from. The voice that I would never forget.

I twisted away from the field and looked up and up into a pair of the bluest eyes I had ever seen. They were an island getaway and a warm midday sky all at once. The reminded me of both my past and my lost future. Violet. My name on his lips was like a shot of ecstasy to a reformed addict. Say something, idiot. Anything. Jonathon. Real witty, V. W, what are you doing here. I thought you were going to NYU. John continued to stare at me, before visibly shaking himself free into a relaxed position, with the lazy smile and sleepy, bedroom eyes that I knew so well. I was, but that was always our plan, and I didnt- He cut off, seeming to remember who he was talking too. I mean- Its okay. You dont have to explain. I get it. I did the same thing. In the awkward silence that followed, I got a chance to fully look at him. He still had those eyes, and that smile. But that was about all that had stayed the same. He was even taller than his previous 6.2 frame, now pushing 6.5, and hed filled out. His teenage shoulders had finally taken on the muscle hed been building from football for years, making his already broad shoulders thick and chorded with unleashed power. Hed lost the baby fat in his cheeks, and his hair was lighter, no doubt from all the time outside with his dad in the field. All in all, he looked like a pro wrestler crossed with a Ralph Lauren model crossed with my ex boyfriend. You lookdifferent. An understatement if I ever heard one. He looked uncomfortable for a second before nodding. Yeah, after you left I had a lot of free time. So I started doin some more work around the farm as well as some extra practicing with CoachIt seems Im not the only one whos changed. You look a lot different yourself. Dont I know it. Um, yeah. I started night running. I guess I kind of needed something to occupy my time with too. I knew I looked different. The last time Id seen John was when I was sixteen years old and wearing the same size shirt. But now I was a new person. Along with becoming a size six, Id gone through

the gruelling task of severing my nail biting addiction, dyeing my hair blonde, and buying makeup from anywhere other than the drug store. Anyway, it was nice running into you, but I really have to go. Before I even took two steps towards the stairs I felt Johns giant hand close around her forearm. But the games not even over. Shit. I had totally forgotten about Val. Shes so going to kill me. O, oh, right. I stuttered, embarrassed at being caught out trying to run away. Again. How about I leave you with your friend over there. She looks like shes getting a bit antsy. I looked over at an indeed antsy Val. Her enormous doe eyes were frantically urging me back to her, no doubt jonsing for the scoop on why I was talking to a guy other than Brody, Chase or Angel. Yeaah, she probably thinks Im getting into some secret organisation preparing for the roaches to take over the world. John barked out a laugh. A twinkle had come into his beautiful eyes. Still being as antisocial as usual aye, Vi? The familiarity with which he spoke brought me back to earth. There couldnt be any of this back and forth anymore. All that stopped when I up and left. We had both moved on. Me, with my small circle of friends/acquaintances, and him, with whatever hed been doing for the past two years. Yep, same old, same old. I could tell he sensed the sudden wall Id placed between us. It was the same wall Id put up when I told him goodbye for the first and last time. Well, Im glad youre doing alright then. But I think I should get back to my team before we start back up. On that note, he turned around and disappeared through the crowd of careless college students. I couldnt help but wonder if the disappointment that I felt was the same as what he went through, all those years ago. What was that about? a high pitched voice practically screeched at me, bringing me back to earth. I turned, knowing who Id see. My best friend in the whole world stood behind me in all of her curvaceous glory, spearing me with one of her I-know-somethings-up-so-you-better-tell-me-thisinstant looks on her super model face. Valerie was the most beautiful girl Id ever seen in real life. Her body was something out of the old pin-up magazines with huge boobs and hips framing a tiny waist. But where her body was sinful, her

heart-shaped face was angelic with big, chocolate eyes, a tiny, button nose, snow white skin and a pair of Lindsey Wixon lips. When I first met her in high school I thought that there would be no way in hell that we would get along, the only reason we were in the same group being my only friend in the new school liked to hang around with the feisty brunette. I thought she was too pretty to not be stuck up. But after an unfortunate collision resulting in the spilling of certain R rated books withum romantic themes we got to talking, and ever since then weve been inseparable. I didnt think Id stand a chance at getting through college without her. Though, she wasnt completely faultless. She had a number of not-so-quirky shortcomings. One was her inability to wait for anTell me now, or I wont let you eat any of my triple chocolate, fudge brownies. I laughed. I couldnt help it, she was just too cute. Her face was as serious as it would be if shed threatened to cut off my feet and feed them to piranhas swimming in a pit full of spiders, poo and lego. Oh youre laughing now, but come tonight youll be begging for even a crumb of my fabulous creation, and youll be just rueing the day you didnt tell me what you were doing talking to that big chuck of manly-man ice-cream when you never talk to anyone. Rueing. I stopped laughing. Even just the reminder of my ex put a downer on the short spurt happy my bff had given me. It was no one. Just someone I knew from my old high school in Kansas. No biggie. Her right eye twitched. Dead giveaway that she was still suspicious. Thankfully, she decided not to bring it up, somehow sensing I wasnt ready to spill and instead delved into her description of the way Brodys abs totally looked at her whenever he turned into the stands. I can tell hes into me. And its not like we havent gotten close to you-know-what-ing before. But he always finds an excuse to leave. Oh, my back hurts, Val. Oh, I have to get up early for practise, Val. Oh, my fuckin balls climbed into my scrotum, Val. You know hes gay right? I felt inclined to mention for the millionth time. No, hes not Vi. Nobody with that kind of beautiful bod could possibly be designed for anything other than pleasuring its female oppositeThats mwah, by the way. She stated with an overly dramatic eyebrow wiggle making me chuckle. There are plenty of gay guys with hot bodies. What about Zachary Quinto, Neil Patrick Harris or the dude out of Grays Anatomy? Look, Brodys checking out the Mark Smiths butt right now. And sure enough, his face was indiscreetly turned in the direction of Marks toned ass, as he took a gulp out of his Poweraid bottle next to the fence. Vals face went blank for second. That was her thinking face. Which meant that she might finally be getting that-

Nah, I still think hes mine for the taking. Oh, Valerie. Oh, I forgot to tell you about the party were going to tonight. Its at Beta Kappa Kappa and everyones going to be there. Including Nick, the one I tried to introduce you to yesterday outside of our dorm. You know? The one you totally blew off. She said with a pointed look. Hey, its not my fault that I have weak pelvic muscles. You so do not have weak pelvic muscles. Youre eighteen, and all youre insides are still on the inside, thank you very much. Just-Wait can that actually happen? I asked, horrified. Totes. My great aunty had to go through this massive surgery to get all her shit and stuff back up in there after all of it just plopped out one day. But Im sure she doesnt appreciate people with perfectly healthy pelvic muscles stealing her condition so that they dont have to talk to crazy, sexy boys. I seriously didnt know what to say. Um, sorry? I said, with more question than statement. Her face and shoulders crumbled, and I felt horrible before she came up laughing her face off. You bitch! I said, joining in. You totally had me fooled. Oh my gosh, you should have seen your face. Um, sorry? she said before promptly falling into another fit. Okay, okay. Sorry, man. I just couldnt resist. Though you should be aware that it does actually happen if you dont do your vaginal exercises. Which you should do anyway, forumrecreational purposes. I couldnt believe her. You have to be the grossest human being on the planet, Val. I announced with a straight face. But thats why you love me. She said with a cheeky grin.

Chapter 2
Come on, you have to where this. It goes so well with your face. Val explained to me after the game. My face? I asked Your face, your body, your skin, your hair. All that jazz.

The dress was tiny. Tiny. It seriously could have passed for a strapless shirt with how short it was. The black material started low on my chest, showing off an ample amount of my limited cleavage before hugging my now lean form, until ending about an inch from indecent exposure under my butt. No way. I stated firmly. Pwetty pwease. Pwetty pwease with a cherry on top? she pleaded in her baby voice with her puss in boots eyes. Damn her. Okay. Whatever you want. But you are not making me wear those godforsaken giraffe shoes.

As we finally finished with our makeup and hair. Or rather Val finished our makeup and hair, we were ready to go. Her in a stunning, canary yellow halter neck dress with clean white pumps, and me in the devil dress and the red heels that resembled a certain African animal and were currently making my feet feel like theyd had their own root canal. With bones. And tweezers. Why, oh why did you make me wear these things? I whined, pointing at the demons on my feet. Because they make you look even taller. Look, you totally look like a super model. She said as she turned me so I faced the mirror. The girl in front of me could have easily been seen on a runway. Her hair was long and golden, her legs were a million miles long, and the smoky eye shadow framing her green eyes gave her a mysterious, sexy aura. She was beautiful. She was so not me. See, you look beautiful. And awesome. You look beautifully awesome. Or awesomely beautiful. Whichever floats your boat. Point is, nobody is gonna be able to take their eyes off youEven that hunk you were talking to earlier, if we see him. I continued to stare at the girl in front of me. I stared until I believed that she was me, that I was her, that even with Jonathon here I could still have fun with my friends. Im ready. Lets go.

There you guys are! Angel shouted, apparently not having any noise control on account of the empty shot glass in his hand. Angel was on the football team which resulted in the same giant build as John, and with jet black hair and golden eyes, the Latina boy had no trouble with the ladies. Except one that is. Yeah we just got here from the dorm. It took me ages to get this smoken girl into this smoken dress. Doesnt she look hot? Val screeched over the deafening music. Angels eyes quickly ran over me before pulling his gaze back to Valerie.

Yeah, she does. he said in his Im-indirectly-complimenting-you-by-complimenting-her-becauseIm-in-love-with-you-but-you-have-no-clue-and-Im-too-dumb-to-tell-you voice. I know. Im proud of my work. Have you seen Brody anywhere? she asked, already looking around the cluster of drunk people in search. Angels face fell. Im sure hes around here somewhere. I quickly interjected, before Angel could say something incredibly pig-headed and get his ass kicked by a pissed off Valerie. Valerie looked between us, confused, but shrugged it off to go in search of her prince charming. She knows hes gay right? Angel asked, staring after her. I seriously do not have a clue. I said before pinning him with a glare. But thats not the point. You need to get off your lazy ass and do something about her. You cannot be in love with her and sleep around with every girl on campus like you did in high school. The reason Val doesnt like you is because youre the epitome of what she doesnt want in a husband which, by the way, is what shes lookin for doofus. So man the hell up. Angel was the only gentleman I talked to like this. He was my best guy buddy and was the first person to talk to me when I moved here. He was like the little brother I never had. A stupid little brother. Huh. Agh. Youre obviously too drunk for this conversation. I said, fed up. Go. Go hit on some senior or something. Have fun. His face was still confused for a moment before giving me a toothy grin and strutting off with a back handedWill do, Captain. God he was such a dummy. But, whatever. Not my beeswax. I should be focusing on mingling, making friends, putting myself out there as Valerie would put it. Something I havent done since leaving Kansas. Hey sugar. a sweet and sexy voice drawled from behind me. Saw you all alone and thought you might enjoy some company. I turned, looked up, and encountered a face carved out of stone. His cheekbones were sharp against his olive skin, and his midnight eyes pierced mine before running down my form, much differently than Angel had done minutes before. His thin, broad shoulders inclined to an equally slim, but muscular, abdomen and his toned legs were covered in fitted black jeans matching his leather jacket and Bullet for my Valentine t-shirt. He looked like a bad boys out of one of Valeries anime cartoon things.

Names Raphael. Raphael Coletto. And who might you be? It took me a moment to answer, I was too shocked that a guy this beautiful would talk to someone like me. Uh, McDodge. Violet McDodge. I stammered. He gave me a real smile then. No doubt amused at my inadequacy to communicate with the opposite sex. Well, Violet McDodge, Im surprised that no ones come to snatch you up yet. Usually all the freshman girls that look like you are cajoled into some, lets say, premature friendly activity by the upperclassman guys. Though I havent seen any so far as beautiful as you, so maybe theyre all too intimidated. He was smooth, this boy. No, this man. His voice was so sincere and silky that Im sure he had every girl he talked to eating out of the palm of his hand. But he was obviously one of these upperclassman guys, and even if he was the most gorgeous dude Id seen at the party so far, I wasnt down with what he was going at. I, Im flattered, but I really dont feel like getting snatched up at the moment. I said as I started to turn away. Wait. I heard along with a gentle grip on my arm. What? I snapped, quickly pulling away. No one touched me without my permission. Never again. His eyes widened, surprised by my outburst. He lifted his sinewy arms and looked at me for a second, recognition filling his eyes. I didnt waist a second in escaping his probing gaze. Nobody else could know what happened. I hadnt told anyone other than my parents and Kylie, my therapist. Not even my best friend knew. So I certainly couldnt let some gorgeous stranger see inside me to the darkest part of my soul and unlock all the memories I wanted to keep hidden. I needed to find Valerie. Shed distract me.

Violet Violet Violet Violet! What? I mumbled in my most effective go-away-Im-hung-over voice. Get off your lazy ass, Vi. I want to go get some waffles and ice-cream before class starts. Valerie sung. Maybe I should make myself clear; the voice was effective on everyone but Valerie.

Come on. Miss Drunky-Pie. I want to beat the rush. I finally managed to raise my head from the warm haven I call my pillow to glare at Val. Yeah, of five year olds. What person our age gets waffles and ice-cream for breakfast? Val looked insulted. Hey, just because every other college student chooses to function solely on the limited nutrience extracted from coffee beans, doesnt mean I have to forsake my glorious heaven food. I expected better from you, Violet. Ahhhh, too many big words. Just because you have the freak ability of never getting hung-over after a night out doesnt mean the rest of us normal homosapiens do. So please just let me sleep. I begged, hiding under my Powerpuff Girls covers. Oh, no you dont. Val said as she whipped off my sheets, leaving me cold and pouty. You are getting dressed, putting some make-up on, and doing something with that bed head of yours. My hand went to my hair, not needing the confirmation that my hair was a mess. I couldnt help but envy Valerie. Along with her eerie ability to fend off hang-overs, she always woke up with perfect, glossy hair that never needed to be flat-ironed on account of how stick-straight it was. Stop pining over my magnificent locks, and go do your thing already. Its already seven, and class starts at twelve, so we only have like, Val paused while she counted her fingers. five hours to clean up, have breakfast, do damage control, get the goss- What damage control? I asked, alarmed Id done something stupid in my drunken stupor. I watched as Valeries clear cheeks turned nice and rosy, an expression of embarrassment overshadowing her lovely face. Weeeell, you know how I was making out with Brody last night- WHAT! Oh, well I was making out with Brody last night and we were all cosy and I was getting really into it when all of a sudden Angel decides to ram his big ugly head between us and totally ruin the moment. So- Angel? Yes, stop interrupting. Im trying to build. So I was all pissed, but apparently all Brody could do was look into his lap like a whipped puppy and-Oh you know what he said? He said Sorry Angel like Angel was his fucking father or something. But then he gets up and Im about to rip into Angel for interrupting us when he goes and sits back downLike right away.Like he stands up then sits back downLike up, down. I wasnt sure what the problem was, but Val was looking at me like I knew what was happeniHe didnt.

Yep, he had the biggestyou knowthingy ever. You know he has never, not once, got one with me. And at first I thought maybe he just needed a little extra warming up, you know? To get the motor going. But as soon as Angel walks up in all his shirtless glory- He was shirtless? You dont remember? About halfway through the party, Angel declared a No Shirt Dance Palooza and ran around trying to steal all the girls shirtsIt actually worked pretty well. Val stated with an odd look on her face before shaking it off But anyway, Angel walks up and immediately Brody has a hard time-hehe hard-not getting a thingy. So, of course I get pissed off and start to yell at him and shit, but then he looked at me with this faceand II realised thatdont tell anyone, but I think Brody might be gay. I was speechless. Val, weve been telli- So he mustve realised what Id realised, cause he ran off somewhere, leaving me all alone with a drunk, shirtless Angel and an aggravated, horny self. No. No. No. Oh my gosh. I felt like squealing. Did Angel finally make a move? Was Valerie finally seeing what was right in front of her? WasAnd so I have to go set him straight. You know? Clear things up- Wait. Why do you have to clear things up? Valerie looked at me dully. You havent been listening have you? Whatever. She huffed at me before taking a deep breath and blurting, So we were alone and I was horny and Angel was Angel, so one thing led to another and we kind of banged out on the balcony and when it was over I tried to leave but Angel kept mumbling shit about being better than Brody, so I have to go and make sure he was drunk out of his mind and remembers nothing. It was so too early for this.

Chapter 3
Im wearing too much make-up arent I? Val asked as she fiddled with her hair on the way towards the campus coffee house The Shack. I rolled my eyes for the fifth time in five minutes, before turning her towards me and gripping her shoulders. Valerie, enough! First it was your clothes, then it was your shoes, then your hair, and each time I tell you the same thing. Stop freaking out, you look beautiful, just like yesterday and the day before! I laugh, giving her a little shake.