Bella Dodd

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Bella V. Dodd (1904–1969) was a leader of the Communist Party of America (CPUSA) in the 19 0s and 1940s!

"ella #odd was $orn to %occo &isono and 'eresa (arsica in Picerno) *taly and $a+ti,ed Maria Assunta Isabella in -cto$er 1904! A $rilliant and dedicated woman) she .raduated from /unter Colle.e and 0ew 1or2 Uni3ersity 4aw School! She $ecame head of the 0ew 1or2 State 'eachers Union and was a mem$er of the 0ational Council of the CPUSA until 1949!516 *n 7une 1949 the Communist Party released a statement to the Associated Press announcin. her e8+ulsion from mem$ershi+! #r! "ella #odd wrote9 :'o the 0ew 1or2 news+a+ers the story of the e8+ulsion of a woman Communist was merely one more story! *t was handled in the routine way! * winced) howe3er) when re+uta$le +a+ers headlined the Communist Party and used the words :fascism: and :racism): e3en thou.h * 2new these words were only ;uoted from the Party resolution!: -n 'uesday) Au.ust <) 19<= she +u$licly announced that on A+ril >th of the same year) she was recei3ed $ac2 into the %oman Catholic Church! 0ot $ein. a$le to secure her $a+tismal certificate from *taly after in;uiry) she was therefore conditionally $a+ti,ed $y "isho+ ?ulton 7! Sheen in St! Patric2@s Cathedral) 0ew 1or2! -n the front +a.e of the New York Times for (arch 11) 19< ) the headline ran9 Bella Dodd Asserts Reds Got Presidential Advisory Posts) and it re+orted that she) :swore $efore the Senate *nternal Security su$committee today that Communists had .ot into many le.islati3e offices of Con.ress and into a num$er of .rou+s ad3isin. the President of the United States!: 'he New York Times re+orted on (arch A) 19<4 that "ella #odd9 :!!!warned yesterday that the :materialistic +hiloso+hy): which she said was now .uidin. +u$lic education) would e3entually demorali,e the nation!: *n her $oo2) :School of #ar2ness: (19<4)5=6 she .i3es e3idence to su++ort the claim that Communism was a hoa8 +er+etrated $y financiers :to control the common man: and to ad3ance world tyranny! She also claimed that the communist +arty acti3ely infiltrated a.ents into seminariesB and she told her friend Alice 3on /ilde$rand) the theolo.ian) that :when she was an acti3e +arty mem$er) she had dealt with no fewer than four cardinals within the &atican @who were wor2in. for us@!: 5 6 She died in A+ril 1969 at the a.e of 64!

chool of Darknessoo



"ella &! #odd


* CAS "-%0 in southern *taly on a farm that had $een in my motherDs family for
.enerations! "ut * was really an American $orn on *talian soil as the result of a series of accidents) and it was also an accident which 2e+t me in *taly until * was almost si8 years old! 0ot until years afterward did * learn that one reason my mother had left me there was in the ho+e that someday she could +ersuade her hus$and) in 0ew 1or2 with her other children) to return with them to *taly! 'o her that farm near Poten,a was home! "ut she was ne3er a$le to +ersuade them of that) for America was the +lace of their choice! (y mother had $een left a widow when the youn.est of her nine children was still a $a$y! Cith the hel+ of the older children she ran the farm! *f %occo &isono had not come to Poten,a from his home in 4u.ano no dou$t she would ha3e remained there the rest of her life! "ut %occo fell in lo3e with 'eresa (arsica who) des+ite her nine children and a life of wor2) was still attracti3e) with $ dar2 eyes and li3ely ways! %occo had come to 3isit a sister married to a +etty .o3ernment official and met 'eresa in the near$y 3illa.e of Picerno! A stonemason $y trade) he found wor2 in Poten,a while 'eresa was ma2in. u+ her mind! She was almost +ersuaded $ut hesitated when she learned that he +lanned to .o to 0ew 1or2! *t too2 a lon. time to .et her to a.ree to that! She would loo2 at her rich soil that .rew .ood lettuce and $eans! 'his had $een her fatherDs farm and her .randfatherDs and his fatherDs! /ow could she .i3e it u+ and cross the Atlantic to uncertainty) and +erha+s ha3e no land there to cherish and wor2E "ut the ;uiet) $lueFeyed suitor was +ersistent! 'he children were on his side) too) to .o to America) for %occo had told them .lowin. stories of the life there) of the freedom and the chance to .et rich! 'hey ar.ued and +leaded with their mother until she .a3e in! 'he three oldest $oys were to .o with their fatherFelect) and my mother and the others were to Goin them later! * say HelectI +ur+osely) for 'eresa) for reasons of her own) had insisted that she would not marry him until she arri3ed in America! /a3in. lost all the rest of the issues) he had to yield on this also) and the four left for the United States! ?rom Jast /arlem they sent enthusiastic re+orts! 'here were many *talians li3in. thereB it was li2e a colony of home +eo+leB she must come ;uic2ly! So 'eresa acce+ted the ine3ita$le! She said .oodF$y to her nei.h$ors and her $elo3ed fields) to the house that had sheltered her all her life and in which all her children had $een $orn! She +ut the farm in the char.e of a relati3e for she could not $ear to sell it! She come $ac2 someday! Cith si8 children she sailed for the new home!

'he three older $oys and %occo too2 her in trium+h to their fi3eFroom flat on 10Ath Street! 'eresa was ha++y to see them a.ain) $ut she loo2ed with dismay at the honeycom$ of rooms! She was only +artly comforted when her sister) (aria Antonia) who had $een in America for some time) came to welcome her! *n 7anuary 1904 %occo &isono and 'eresa (arsica were married in the Church of St! 4ucy in Jast /arlem! *t was +erha+s on that day she felt most homesic2 of all) for a memory came to her when she heard the words of the +riest K a recollection of the +ast) of ?idelia) her mother) and Se3erio) her father) and the farm wor2ers and herself and her $rothers and sisters) all 2neelin. to.ether at family +rayer in the $i. li3in. room of the Picerno farmhouse! Se3eral months later a letter came from *taly tellin. 'eresa that there was trou$le with the mana.ement of her +ro+erty! At this news she +ersuaded %occo that she must .o $ac2 to adGust matters) +erha+s rent the farm to res+onsi$le +eo+le) or e3en K this was his su..estion K sell it! *t was not until she was on the hi.h seas that 'eresa reali,ed she was +re.nant! She was dismayed! 'he $usiness in *taly ta2e months and the $a$y $e $orn there! 'he affairs of the farm too2 than she e8+ected! *n -cto$er of 1904 * was $orn in Picerno and $a+ti,ed (aria Assunta *sa$ella! Cith my fatherDs a++ro3al 'eresa decided to return to the United States and lea3e me in char.e of a foster mother! She ho+ed to return within a year) $ut it was fi3e years $efore she saw me a.ain! * was almost si8 years old when * saw my father and $rothers and sister for the first time! 'he woman who $ecame my foster mother and wet nurse was the wife of a she+herd in A3ialano! /er own $a$y had died and she was ha++y to ha3e me! ?or fi3e years * li3ed with these sim+le +eo+le! 'hou.h there was little lu8ury in the small stone house) * recei3ed lo3in. care from $oth my foster +arents! * remem$er them and my memories .o $ac2 to my third year! (amarella was a .ood woman and * was .reatly de3oted to her! "ut it was to her hus$and) 'addeo) that my dee+est lo3e went! 'here was no other child in the family and to me he .a3e all his +arental affection! * remem$er their home with the fire+lace) the ta$le drawn u+ $efore it for su++er) * in 'addeoDs arms) his $i. she+herdDs coat around me! *n later days) when life was difficult) * often wished * were a.ain the little child who sat there snu. in the +rotectin. lo3e a$out her! (y mother sent money re.ularly) and .a3e my foster +arents more comforts than the small of 'addeo would +ro3ide! 'ime and a.ain (amarella tried to ma2e of 'addeo somethin. more than a hill she+herd! She disli2ed his $ein. away from home in the winter) $ut in that mountainous +art of *taly it was cold in the winterB so the shee+ were dri3en to the warmer A+ulia where the .ra,in. was $etter! J3en in the summer 'addeo often stayed all in the hills! 'hen (amarella and * went to him carryin. food and $lan2ets so that we) too) slee+ in the o+en! Chile

to our town to +erform the ceremony! 'his called for .ed to him and that he could mo3e them in the hea3ens! * would fall aslee+ wra++ed in a $lan2et! Chen * awo2e * would find myself in my own $ed $ac2 at our house on the ed.reat +re+arations! * had a new red dress with a hi. and 'addeo whittlin.e! * ha3e 3a.ers stretched u+ward) for the s2y seemed so close * thou.ue memories of the thin.e of the 3illa.entry of the town! J3eryone else 2nelt on the stone floor! * 2nelt) too) and loo2ed around me at the statues! * had a fa3orite amon.rou+ of children awaitin.h a dee+ forest se3eral days and ni. throu.rima. at su++er we heard hurried footfalls and an e8cited 3oice callin.reat day came * was at church early! *t was still almost em+ty sa3e for the restless .er fin.atory! She said that if you let the $isho+ +ut salt on your ton. in my mind the hum of +rayers said to.i3e me warm mil2 from his shee+ and try to e8+lain to me a$out the s2y! -nce he said9 H0e3er mind) little one! Perha+s someday you will touch the s2y! Perha+sLI 'hen he would tell me stories a$out the stars) and * almost $elie3ed that they $elon. she was .hts to some shrine! *t must ha3e $een s+rin. them9 St! Anthony) with the tender smile and the Christ Child on his arm! 'addeo told me that St! Anthony would watch o3er me and 2ee+ me from e3ilB and that if * lost * could touch it! * would come $ac2 tired to find (amarella 2nittin.atory for years and years! * too2 this matter to 'addeo and for once he was not reassurin. carried on 'addeoDs shoulders on a +il. to ha3e me confirmed $ecause the $isho+ was comin. from one hillto+ to another! (y ea.h nec2 made H+rincess style!I * was to ha3e my first +air of leather shoes! Chen the .atory was a .ether $y many +eo+le! -ne of the children told me a$out a +lace called +ur. for the woods were car+eted with 3iolets! * ha3e ne3er since seen $lue wood 3iolets without hearin.oin.9 HUna lettera d’America!I H(ay$e itDs from my mother)I * said) Hand there will $e money in it for (amarella!I .ue and water on your forehead you .hus$and and wife tal2ed) * would wander off for flowers and $utterflies! * remem$er runnin.ot into hea3en) and that if it were not done you stayed in +ur. St! Anthony would hel+ find it! -ne e3enin.h * was youn.ion! * remem$er $ein.! Pur. confirmation! 'he few seats in the $i.e with many +eo+le wal2in.s of reli. a new +air of wooden shoes for me! 0ot until Gust $efore * left for America did * wear a +air of leather shoes! 'addeo would .ray +lace) he said) with no trees and no hills) $ut he said he would $e there with me! /e tal2ed to (amarella) and she said thou. church were +laced toward the altar! 1ou did not sit in these for they were for the .

ood 2ind man who said he would! /is name was 'addeo!I H'addeoEI Suddenly * understood and sli++ed from the womanDs la+! H1ouDre my real mother!I She stro2ed my hair and said) H* ha3e come all the way from America for my $a$y .o away to a stran.e land where * couldnDt ta2e care of her and so * found a .Chen she o+ened it * saw only a 3ery little letter and no money at all! 0o one told me what the letter was a$out! Cee2s later * was alone in the house) close $y the fire! ?e$ruary was cold that year! 'addeo was in A+ulia and would not $e $ac2 for some time! (amarella had .irl and * ho+ed she would lo3e me!I Somethin. you +resentsEI the children as2ed! HCill you ..ray) $ut soft and wa3y! * loo2ed at her with ama.e! H*Dm a friend of the +eo+le who li3e here! Chere is the she+herdEI H/e isnDt here! /eDs in A+ulia!I H#o you li2e himEI H* lo3e him $etter than anyone in the world! * lo3e him all the time!I * stared at her and wondered why she should as2 such . in her 3oice won me o3er! * went to her and +ut my arms around her nec2 and so we sat until (amarella came in! * was half aslee+ and remem$ered only sayin.) $ut she said she would $e $ac2 in a wee2 or else send for me! She +romised to ta2e me with her to America! 0ow all was fe3erish +re+aration! Cord was sent to 'addeo and he sent $ac2 word that he would $e home $efore * left! ?or me that last wee2 was one of trium+h amon.e fountain for drin2in.o in the coach to Poten.ed me! 'hen she too2 off her 3eil and * saw she had thic2 $lac2 hair) a little .e ste+s on the co$$lestones! 'he door o+ened and there stood a tall) dar2 woman in a hea3y coat who loo2ed at me and without a word +ut her arms around me and hu.irl myself once!I As * listened * $e.uestions! H-f course you do)I she said soothin.e lady smiled at me! H4isten) dear) * had a little . water! * heard to feel uneasy! H* had to .aEI .) H'his is my mother) my real mother! 1ou ha3e to lo3e your mother!I She went away! HCome o3er here and sit on my la+ while * tell you a story! "ut first) do you lo3e him $etter than your own motherEI H-f course * do! * donDt e3en 2now my own mother!I 'he stran.ain that e3enin. my +laymates! H#id she $ to the 3illa.ement! HCho are youEI * as2ed! She answered me in *talian) $ut it sounded different from that of our 3illa.

) too! She too2 me in her arms and san.ain! * tried to +icture e8actly how he had loo2ed so * would always remem$er him! Chen the fire was em$ers) (amarella +ut ashes o3er it and we went to $edB $ut * could not slee+! Suddenly * heard what * had $een listenin. +olenta! * sat still in his arms while 'addeo tal2ed to us a$out his tri+ home! H* tra3eled half the ni. Ce waited for 'addeo $ut when he did not come) we sat down and ate in silence! 'hen we cleared the ta$le! * sat with my head a." and $e.) for to eat macaroni e3ery day was the essence of +lutocracy to children whose chief diet was $eans and +olenta! HAnd will you come $ac2EI someone as2ed! Somehow this was the first time * had actually thou. away and * felt a little sha2en) $ut * answered $oldly) H-f course * will) and someday *Dll ta2e you all with me to America!I 0o further word had come from 'addeo on the e3e of my de+arture to Goin my mother! (amarella had +re+ared a wonderful su++er of pasta arricata.e of ?ili++i! /e could stay only an hour with us! HSt! Anthony $rou.H'he houses in America are made of .ht me)I he told me! H/e hel+ed .) $ut she sto++ed when she saw that * was he will hel+ you .et to the shee+fold in the 3alley ri.uids stuffed with raisins! 'here was sweet white wine! *t was li2e to .o and find what you lose!I * +aid little attention to his words! * was ha++y to sit $y the fire and watch him eat +olenta and di+ $read into the red wine! 'hen he rose) +ut on his lon. a$out the saints! Still 'addeo did not come! * feared * would ne3er see him warmin. cloa2) and tied the muffler around his nec2! H'his muffler is too thin to $e of much use any more! 4isten) child) will you send me a new one from AmericaEI .ht and had no idea it would $e so cold in A3ialano)I he said! /e must .ht of . for K hea3y ste+s on the co$$lestones! Chen the door o+ened * was in his arms! (y feet were cold and he too2 off his muffler and wound it round them and ru$$ed them! (amarella came in and +o2ed u+ the fire and said to me shar+ly) Non !ar away) he said) for he had left the shee+ in char. and nuts and me here in time! #onDt e3er for.oin.lass)I said another child! H0o one is +oor there! J3eryone is ha++y!I HAnd they eat macaroni e3ery day)I +i+ed another! 'his e3en * 2new would $e a wonderful thin.ainst (amarellaDs chair! She was cryin. to me K a where you ou.

e! * loo2ed out of the window at the chan.htened $y what * saw of 0a+les! 'here were $ and and +lains) with oli3e trees here and there! -nce * saw a floc2 of white shee+ with a she+herd) and * thou. into the un2nown! 'he com+artment in which * rode was almost em+ty! 'he conductor had +romised (amarella that he would ta2e care of me! ?inally) as * sat on the wooden $ench) * fell aslee+) leanin.(y eyes filled with tears! /e 2issed me! H'here) carina. landsca+e! After awhile there were no snow and no mountains) only .oL * wontLI /e held me until * sto++ed so$$in.irl)I she said) as she folded it in a trian.! * wa3ed e8citedly to her and it made me ha++y to see her warm smile as she ran toward me! * was fri.oin." said the coachman when he saw his smaller +assen.le and tied it under my chin! 'hen we went to the coach which was waitin. someday you will come $ac2)I he said when the train +ulled into 0a+les! 'he conductor came in and +ic2ed u+ my $undle! &iene subito..) H'addeoL 'addeoLI * ran down the street till * came to the +ia." and he handed me o3er to (amarella and hurried from the house! * stru. * 2new and was . $uesta creatura e tutti occ%i.oin." he said) and * followed him to the +latform! And there was my mother loo2in. the shee+ ahead of them! *t was $itter cold and the . a..e mo3ement of the train! *t was ni. and then he said) H0ow * must really .a and * could see 'addeo and ?ili++i out her weddin.led free and ran after him! * had no shawl and my dress flew in the wind! * 2e+t callin. an8iously for me! She was tall and strai. was drained from me! 'hen * was alone on a train with stran.ain! * had +ut on my first +air of leather shoes to show to him and the untied laces made me stum$leB the hard leather hurt my feet! * lay in the snow and so$$ed! 'here (amarella found me and too2 me home and +ut me $etween hot $lan2ets! She stayed with me until * fell aslee+! 0e8t day * was dressed in my red confirmation dress which was to ha3e $een sa3ed to wear on the feast of the &ir. and wheedlin. now to a fine home where you will $e una si#norina and ha3e sil2 dresses and may$e two +airs of leather shoes!I H* donDt want to .ht of 'addeo! "ut 'addeo was now far $ehind) and * was alone! * had left e3erythin.a! (amarella +ut me on the train and 2issed me! * could not cry for all the feelin.round was icy! * called 'addeo a.ainst my $undle of clothes) e8hausted $y the! (amarella and * sat in the coach in silence and watched the desolate mountain scenery and the snowdrifts $an2ed and carnevale! (y hair was carefully com$ed! 'he leather shoes were laced around my an2les! (amarella $rou. in the name of St! %occo! 'here were dirty children in the streets! 'here was noise and . the road! ?inally) num$ with cold) we reached the railroad station in Poten.o)I * cried in +anic! H* wonDt . carina.ers and on my way to 0a+les where my mother was to meet me! *t was the first time * had e3er $een on a train $ut * did not find it stran.ain and a.o!! HAnd you are . $o8 and drew from it a white sil2 2erchief! H* wore it when * was a .ars whinin. to ta2e me away! Madonna.

confusion! * wanted to fly $ac2 to our ;uiet little 3illa.e) where the +eo+le were +oor) $ut clean and +roud! * was .lad when the ne8t day we sailed for America! CHAPTER TWO

'/J %JAS-0 my mother had not returned to *taly for me for fi3e lon. years) my father
later e8+lained) was $ecause there had $een a terri$le de+ression in America! *t had $een im+ossi$le for him to raise the money for (other to ma2e the tri+) and a small child could not tra3el alone! * had $een shy in meetin. my father! /e was $lond) $lueFeyed) and reser3ed) the o++osite of (other! "ut des+ite his ;uiet) undemonstrati3e manner * felt that he lo3ed me! /e was 2ind and he made a +et of me! 'here were only four children at home nowB the rest had married and had homes of their own! 'hey came to see the new sister and made a $i. fuss o3er me! "ut they all made fun of my $est dress K my red confirmation dress which e3ery child in A3ialano had admired! 'hey lau.hed at me and insisted * $e rushed to a store to $uy an American dress! Cith .reat reluctance * +ut away the $eautiful red +rincess dress and with it the last of my *talian years! And * turned with ,eal to the tas2 of $ecomin. an American child! 'he three $rothers still at home were 2ind enou.h) $ut they had their own interests which were certainly not those of a si8FyearFold .irl and one who could s+ea2 no Jn.lish! "ut my se3enteenFyearFold sister) Caterina) called $y the American name of Matie) too2 me in hand! She was a tall) slim) $eautiful .irl with $i. .ray eyes! She was 2ind and .entle! She did not li2e the name * was called $y K (aria Assunta K and when she learned that * had $een $a+ti,ed with another name K *sa$ella K she insisted on callin. me "ella! Matie too2 me to school! She had made u+ her mind * was a smart little thin. and so she .ot me in a .rade ahead $y sayin. * was $orn in 190= instead of two years later! *n those earlier educational days she had no difficulty in ha3in. me enrolled in the second .rade! ?or a few days * was +ursued $y cries of Hwo+) wo+)I $ut * +aid no attention to them! * did not 2now what they meant and $y the time * did * had $een acce+ted as a leader in my class! * li2ed .oin. and comin. from school) es+ecially wanderin. alon. and starin. at the merchandise +iled u+ on $arrows in the street! 1ou could $uy fruit and +e++ers and sweets and e3en dress .oods and hats there! * li2ed to watch the +i.eons in the street struttin. a$out in their .ray and rose coats and sil3er win.s! (y mother did not share my in the city! H*f we li3ed in the countryLI she would remar2 sometimes! -nly later * learned how much she hated the dirty streets) the .ossi+ of her nei.h$ors) the narrow flat! 'here were +ar2s) of course) $ut they made her e3en more homesic2 for the o+en fields!

(other was a com+etent woman! She could do a +rodi.ious amount of wor2 and ne3er loo2ed tired or $edra..led! She ;uic2ly esta$lished a routine of wor2 and +lay for me! She tried to hel+ me learn Jn.lish thou.h her own was far from .ood! She would +oint to a calendar and re+eat each month and day in her curious) soft Jn.lish and * would re+eat the words after her! She would then ta2e the $room and +oint out the hours and minutes on the oldFfashioned 2itchen cloc2) and a.ain * would re+eat what she said! * thin2 one reason for these educational efforts was that she wanted to 2ee+ me $usy after school for she would not let me s+end time in the city streets! She me to sew and crochetB sometimes she would ta2e a crochet needle and coarse thread and show me sim+le stitches! HSomeday you will crochet a $ridal s+read for yourself)I she said solemnly) and when * did not show interest in this idea she added9 HAnyway) it is a sin to $e idle!I * li2ed my family) all of them) $ut $est of all * lo3ed Matie! * lo3ed her not only $ecause she was 2ind $ut $ecause she was $eautiful) with her hair a cloud a$out her face) her tiny waist) her +retty dresses! (y mother said she resem$led her father who had $een a ca3alry officer! * soon learned that Matie at se3enteen was in lo3e with 7oe) a tall youn. man with lon. thin fin.ers and the tem+erament of an o+era star! (y new family .radually made my other family in faraway A3ialano recede into the +ast! "ut now and then) when * felt unha++y and my father cold or my mother +reoccu+ied) * would ima.ine myself $ac2 with 'addeo! At such times * would ta2e my red confirmation dress from the $o8) and the white 2erchief (amarella had tied under my chin) and) +uttin. on my finery) would ima.ine myself $ac2 in A3ialano! *n four months * was a$le to s+ea2 Jn.lish well enou.h to enGoy the school * attended K Pu$lic School 0um$er -ne! 'his school still had the characteristics of what it had formerly $een) a charity school) one of the last soFcalled Hsou+ schools!I *t was in se3eral adGoinin. old $rownstone houses and was in the char.e of two old ladies who o+ened classes each mornin. with +rayer and the of HColum$ia) the Nem of the -cean!I Chen * was ready for the third .rade we mo3ed from Jast /arlem! (other had at last con3inced ?ather that she could no $ear to li3e this cluttered life of the tenements! So we mo3ed to a house in Cestchester) $ut this house did not +ro3e satisfactory either! Ce mo3ed se3eral times! ?inally) ?ather esta$lished a successful .rocery $usiness) and se3eral years later (other too2 o3er a lar.e house with tilla$le acrea.e near Castle /ill! *n this home the rest of my youth was s+ent! 'here were si8tyFfour acres of land and a $i. ram$lin. house! (other had co3eted this farm $efore we went to li3e on it! *t was the +ro+erty of (attie and Sadie (unn) two maiden ladies who li3ed near us! 'hey were old and (other too2 care of (iss Sadie) who was an in3alid! She also loo2ed after their house) and the old ladies .rew to de+end on her! *t was when they died that we went to li3e in the house! 'he former occu+ants had called the colonial house HPil.rimDs %est!I 'here were no li.hts $ut 2erosene lam+s! 'he roof lea2ed and there was only an outside toilet! "ut

from the first * lo3ed this home dearly and es+ecially my own room on the second floor which was literally in the arms of a hu.e horsechestnut tree) lo3ely at all times $ut es+ecially so when its flowers) li2e white candles) were li.hted in the s+rin.! -ur home was full of children all the time! (y $rothersD youn.sters came and went! Matie $ her $a$y o3er often! *n addition) there were do.s) cats) chic2ens) .eese) and now and then a .oat or +i.! (other fed e3eryone well! She $ so much feed for the chic2ens and for the wild $irds who 2new ours as a .enerous tem+orary home that ?ather com+lained that she s+ent more on feed than she made on e..s! 'his * dou$t) for (other was a .ood! She ran her farm with hired hel+ers $ut she was the $est wor2er of all! Ce .rew all sorts of +roduce) enou.h for oursel3es and some to sell in ?atherDs store and some was also sent to Cashin.ton (ar2et! Ce had little cash) $ut we had a house) a slice of .ood earth) and a resourceful mother) one with ima.ination! Ce were not conscious of want or insecurity e3en when there was no money! * remem$er one +articular dessert she made for us children when money was scarce! Ce were always deli.hted when she mi8ed newFfallen snow and and coffee) and made for us her 3ersion of #ra'ita de ca!!(! Ce had nei.h$ors all a$out us K Scotch) *rish) and Nerman families! 'here were two Catholic churches not far from us) /oly ?amily Church lar.ely attended $y the Nerman +o+ulation and St! %aymondDs attended $y the *rish Catholics! Ce did not seem to $elon. in either church and ?ather and (other soon ceased to recei3e the Sacraments and then sto++ed .oin. to church! "ut (other still san. son.s of the saints and told us reli.ious stories from the storehouse of her memories! 'hou.h we still considered ours a Catholic family we were no +racticin. Catholics! (other ur.ed us children to .o to church $ut we soon followed our +arentsD e8am+le! * thin2 my mother was selfFconscious a$out her +oor Jn.lish and lac2 of fine clothes! 'hou.h the crucifi8 was still o3er our $eds and (other $urned li.hts $efore the statue of -ur 4ady) we children .ot the idea that such thin.s were of the *talian +ast) and we wanted to $e Americans! and yet not 2nowin. what we did) we cut oursel3es off from the culture of our own +eo+le) and set out to find somethin. new! ?or me the search $ in the +u$lic schools and li$raries! 'here was a +u$lic school a halfFmile from our house K 0um$er 'wel3e! #r! Condon) the +rinci+al) a man of 3aryin. interests) was fond of ha3in. his +u+ils march to the school fifeFandFdrum cor+s! /e was a+t to interru+t classes and call on e3eryone to .o marchin.) the fifeFandFdrum +layers in the lead! *n this school there was "i$le readin. daily $y #r! Condon himself! * learned to lo3e the +salms and +ro3er$s that he read to us and to admire their +oetic! 0ear our house on Cestchester A3enue was St! PeterDs J+isco+al Church and on Castle /ill was the rectory! *n architecture and landsca+e) St! PeterDs loo2ed li2e +ictures of Jn.lish churches! *ts .rounds e8tended a halfFmile or more! *n summer we +ic2ed $lac2$erries there and in the s+rin. we hunted 3iolets and star of "ethlehem!

h$orhood! 'hey set the +attern for what * $elie3ed to $e the American character! 4ife in that little community was +eaceful! -ur cluster of houses was filled with +eo+le who res+ected each other des+ite differences of race or reli. them in this $ecause * re.h the . circle at St! PeterDs +arish house! *n char.h actually * was conscious of almost no tie to my own Church! * e8+lained to (iss Na$rielle that Catholics were not +ermitted to attend any other church! She seemed to understand and she ne3er o$Gected or ar.raduated from Pu$lic School 0um$er 'wel3e) Corld Car * had commenced! * $ecame an a3id reader of news+a+ers! * read the .hter! Ce met once a wee2 and we sewed and san.entleman whom we ..ra3eyard tryin.arded myself as a Catholic) thou.e of this wor2 was Na$rielle Clendennin. to ta2e roots! Ce had cut our ties with our own cultural +ast and it was difficult to find a new cultural +resent! 'he minister at St! PeterDs) #r! Clendennin.row u+! Se3eral years $efore * .s and the &isonos K all li3ed to.uality! Ce acce+ted our differences and res+ected each +erson for his own .anda char.ether! *t was a most ha++y association! -ften Na$rielle Clendennin. +eo+le * lo3ed! Na$rielleDs mother) the li$rarian told me) was the dau.ination was stirred to fe3er +itch! * ne3er lost the news+a+er ha$it after that! And what * read left its im+rint u+on me! . the Nermans with atrocities! (y ima.hter of /orace Nreeley! * didnDt 2now who /orace Nreeley was $ut she told me he had $een a famous editor and a +atriotic American! * remem$er this family as a wholesome influence on our nei.nified and 2indly ..! *t was here that * first learned such sim+le of flowers on these .ion! Ce were not conscious of the differences $ut of the 2indnesses to each other! (r! Ceisman the dru.ualities! *t was a .o to the afternoon sewin.ra3es as a to2en of res+ect to the men and women of an American +ast! * wanted +assionately to $e a +art of America! 4i2e a +lant) * was tryin.ton 4i$rary and * $ecame friendly with the li$rarian! She was interested in children who li2ed $oo2s and it was she who su.ested that * .s as H-nward) Christian SoldiersI and H%oc2 of Cleft for (e!I 'he other children used to cross the street and .htest sense of hostility or of ine.o to ser3ices in the church! * drew the line at Goinin.) the ministerDs dau.) was a di. for church acti3ities which * +assed on my way to school! *t was near the /untin. to reconstruct the +eo+le from their names! "ecause of my constant readin.reeted as he wal2ed or rode from the rectory to the church! Across from St! PeterDs was a $uildin.uently +laced $ou. in3ited the children to ride with her in her +ony cart! 'hat was hi.ued with me a$out it! Chen the children came $ac2 from ser3ices) we all had tea and coo2ies to.h ad3enture for meB and it meant $ of them all as Pil.rims and Puritans or heroes of the Ci3il Car! * fre. acce+ted and (rs! ?o8 the candyFstore owner) the (cNraths and the Clendennin. of $oo2s on American history * thou.ra3eyard were headstones with weatherFdimmed names! Sometimes on Sunday afternoons * wandered throu.St! PeterDs was an old churchB in its .ether with not the sli.ood +lace for a child to .ruesome +ro+a.

#r! 7ohn Con$oy sto++ed to as2 what was wron.istered as a Catholic $ut * ne3er saw anyone from my Church! -ccasionally a +riest came throu.hts thereafter! (y wound did not heal well! * was in that hos+ital almost a year K treatment after treatment) o+eration after o+eration) with little im+ro3ement! ?i3e times * was ta2en to the o+eratin. day durin.le 3isitin.! * could not slee+ that ni. down his face) carried me to a +hysician! * was in . to start hi.reat +ain $y the time an am$ulance arri3ed) $ut the doctor who sat $eside me was so 2ind that * hated to nor many ni.s! -n the white co3er were flowers) and the frontis+iece was a re+roduction of H'he NleanersI and the title9 )alette d’*r! * read and reread this $oo2! . home on the trolley car one hot day in 7uly and * had si. the time * was in the hos+ital * was re. was terri$ly wron. into the street and my left foot went under the wheels! * did not faint! * lay in the street till my father came to me) +ic2ed me u+ in his arms) and with tears streamin.i3e him trou$le! So we Go2ed to.naled the motorman to let me off! 'he trolley sto++ed) and * donDt 2now what ha++ened ne8t) $ut * was flun.! * learned that same day that my left foot had $een am+utated! (other came faithfully to the hos+ital) loaded with and flowers and whate3er she thou.h School! "ut * did not enter for another year) a hard and terri$le year for me! * was comin.e and +romised to hel+ me! * +rom+tly started to wor2 at it! #urin.h school today)I * told him throu.ious +oems and sayin. and Na$rielle came) and they wrote me letters! -nce #r! Clendennin.ether all the way to ?ordham /os+ital! As they carried me in) * fainted! Chen * came $ac2 to consciousness there was the sic2ly smell of ether and +ain that sta$$ed mercilessly! 'he loo2 on (otherDs face as she sat $eside my $ed told me somethin.e! * saw women in +ain and saw them die! * was +articularly affected $y one old lady) who came to the hos+ital with a $ro2en hi+ and died of .ht me a little $oo2 of reli.rene when they am+utated her le.h my tears! H0ow *Dll $e $ehind the rest in 4atin!I ?or 4atin was the su$Gect * had loo2ed forward to most of allB it was to me the sym$ol of a real education! 'hat afternoon #r! Con$oy $rou. that dreadful year! *t was a $itter time for me! * was in the womenDs ward) for * was tall for my a.! H* was .rammar he had used in colle. $ would interest me! *t was a hot) sultry summer! 'here was a stri2e on the trolley system and (other had to wal2 many miles to the hos+ital! She ne3er missed a sin.oin.oin.*n the fall of 1916 * was ready for J3ander Childs /i. roomB fi3e times there was the me the 4atin .h the ward) $ut * was too shy to call to him! /owe3er) #r! Clendennin. $y with $oo2s in their arms! * was so sad that youn. smell of ether! 'he day * felt most desolate was the day school o+ened and * saw from the hos+ital window children .

in li2e the Jn. the other students did) e3en to .reat deal of the Nos+el sim+licity in these old worn $oo2s and out of them * distilled a little +rayer of my own which ne3er left me! J3en when * did not $elie3e any more) * would often re+eat the words as one does a fa3orite +oem! 'his +rayer which * wor2ed out of the $oo2s of 7ohn Cesley was9 H#ear Nod) sa3e my soul and from homeB one dau. flowers and was dead) the other an in3alid! #urin. my friendshi+ with my mother! * was so .an my hi. $irds! *f * . and writin.ot tired) * sat down for a while till the others returned! .i3e my sins) for 7esus ChristDs sa2e! Amen!I CHAPTER THREE *0 '/J ?A44 of 191> * started at J3ander Childs /i. on hi2es! * Goined the 0aturalistsD Clu$ and went with mem$ers to the Palisades) huntin.ical o+erations were resultin. this +eriod our family suffered losses $y death! (y sister Matie lost her second $a$y and not lon.teps which made a +rofound im+ression u+on me! 'he old "i$les had fascinatin.! *t was not 3ery .oin.! (y mother $rou.eneral +ractitioner came to our house to treat me once a wee2) for the o+eration had not $een well done and the wounds healed slowly! * s+ent most of my time readin.h School to enter into school acti3ities! * tried to do e3erythin.ot my first a++aratus for wal2in.Chen it was e3ident that the sur.lad to $e away from the hos+ital that * felt almost content! #urin.innin.oin. illustrations o3er which * +ored! * li2ed the sermons of 7ohn Cesley! J3en today his sturdiness comforts me) so firm and strai.) and often she told me of saints who had endured +hysical deformity! She made me feel * could accom+lish anythin. +oetry and de3elo+in.h ho+es! * wal2ed the ten $loc2s to school and too2 my +lace with my class! ?rom the $e. * set my heart on) des+ite my +hysical limitation! So * $e.hFschool years armed with crutches and hi. that time at home * s+ent most of my time me $oo2s from the local li$rary) and * read the accumulation left in our house $y the (unns! Since that family had $een (ethodist) the $oo2s included a 3ariety of hymn$oo2s) old "i$les) and commentaries) and the sermons of 7ohn Cesley! 'here was also a co+y of a $oo2 $y Sheldon called In +is .ation! 'here was) of course) a .ed my . $ut +ain) (other decided to ta2e me home! * s+ent the ne8t si8 months on the farm and (other nursed me! * went a$out on crutches until an a++aratus could $e fitted to my toot! A .lish oa2s under which he stood to tal2 to his con.ed how * felt and res+ected my inde+endence! 'hat winter * . afterward she herself died in the influen.ood) $ut it was $etter than the crutches! 0ow * really $e.h my condition had im+ro3ed little and * had to use crutches! (other encoura. * as2ed no fa3ors) and teachers and classmates soon reali.a e+idemic! (other suffered terri$ly and her $rown hair $ecame white! *t +ained me to see her suffer so! /er sons were married and .

s! Sometimes) when outdoors) * would sto+ to listen) for * felt the whole world whis+erin. those days) des+ite my difficulties) * was a ha++y .an to find the in 0ew 1or2 City! -n Saturday afternoons she and * met a small .in.iene! She was the only reli.i3en $y the nun assi.irlsD clu$ at the Cenacle of St! when the moon shone throu.e of defiance into8icatin.! A stu$$orn +ride de3elo+ed in my own a$ility to ma2e Gud.ments! At hi.rou+ of other co+ies! * felt my heart $eat with e8citement as * read the articles on social Gustice! J3en the +oetry on the conditions of the +oor) on the ine.s far away and $eautiful! Sometimes at ni. to me! 'he s+rin.a3e me courses in anatomy and hy.h school * could not ta2e the usual +hysicalFeducation courses so * was allowed a study hour with (iss Nene3ie3e -DConnell) the . to as2) +erha+s $ecause * did not as2 them aloud! "ut * went to se3eral wee2Fend retreats and * was so attracted $y the atmos+here of the house that * as2ed to come for a +ri3ate retreat! 'his +ro3ed a failure! * was so untau.! * sensed there the dee+ +eace of the s+iritual life and * was mo3ed $y the "enediction ser3ice which * attended for the first time in my life! 'he $rief +rayers) the incense) the monstranced /ost u+lifted) the music) were a +oem of faith to . real and unchan.irls and went to the con3ent at 140th Street and %i3erside #ri3e! -nce there we sat in a circle and sewed sim+le .arments for the +oor while a nun read to us! * was not interested in the $oo2s read) $ut the sim+licity) the calm) the acce+tance of somethin.irl from the Jast "ron8 with whom * had tal2ed a$out +olitics) a su$Gect which was $e.s of a .ualities of their li3es) held my interest! *n fact) for the first time * felt a call) a 3ocation! Unconsciously * enlisted) e3en if only emotionally) in the army of those who said they would fi.) did affect me! 'he Cenacle did not . from the s+iritual readin. 3alua$le and no in thin.! * social inGustice) and * $e.irls! 'hey were mostly the children of Americans of Scottish) *rish) and Nerman e8traction $ut there were also some children of *talian) %ussian) and other Juro+ean +eo+les! Ce were of all faiths K Protestant) Catholic) 7ewish! Ce were ali2e in that we were children of +arents in modest circumstances) neither rich nor +oor! 0o one attem+ted to accentuate our differences or to e8+loit them! -ne day a . wind seemed to tal2 of thin.uide me! #es+ite this failure * 2now that those wee2 ends at the Cenacle did .h the chestnut tree $eside my window and * could smell the iris and lilacs and lilies of the 3alley) * felt tears in my eyes and * did not 2now why! 'he student $ody at J3ander Childs /i.ious influence * encountered in hi.ym teacher) who .ned to .h school! Chen she learned * was a Catholic) she in3ited me to attend with her the! * lo3ed life dearly and found +leasure in many little thin.s .uestions * was $e.#urin.i3e direct answers to the .innin.norant of matters of the ?aith that * could . to interest me) $rou.h School then num$ered more than a thousand $oys and .s s+iritual and so me a co+y of a +a+er * had ne3er seen $efore! T%e -all was a Socialist +u$lication! 'hat +a+er .a3e a new turn to my thin2in.i3e me somethin.

i3e de. from a female academy for the trainin.racious) and wellF$red) herself a .e for women! * had decided to $ecome a teacher! * started with a determination to learn! 'here were many fields * wanted to e8+lore! * li3ed at home and tra3eled $ac2 and forth each day on the new Pelham "ay Su$way) recently e8tended to our to my di+loma and to the co+ies of Shelley and Meats which were my +ri.rateful! 'here was a current of resentment amon.irl in colle.h accredited to .ion! #urin.ham) a $lac2 s2irt) two sweaters 2nitted $y (other) and a lar. them #r! Adele "ildersee) who .er) $ut * was ne3er conscious of an inade. my four years at J3ander Childs * recei3ed .e collection of starched white collars which * wore with my sweaters! 'oday the wardro$e of a .o to colle.ood mar2s in Jn.e wardro$e consisted of two dresses) a $lue 3oile and a .es) my chief +ride was that * had $een chosen the most +o+ular .ed) .s of the mind! Colle. way! Ce listened to her +olitely more with our ears than our minds when she told us) as she often did) how im+ortant it was for /unter .h school had $een more who lo3ed +oetry! (any) many times in my later wanderin. of teachers into a real colle. only that to which we were entitled! #ean Annie /ic2en$ottom was a fine woman) middleFa. o++osed to reli.h the staff was chiefly made u+ of the old Protestant An.e +ro3ed different from the atmos+here and the staff were still the same as when it had $een a .s) at odd moments there stole $ac2 to my mind the Tantum er#osun.ettin.raduate of /unter 0ormal School! Ce . a free education from the city and should $e .in.e was at that time in a state of transition) +assin. within me * could not) for * already had an encrusted +ride in my own intellect which reGected what * felt was unscientific! *n this * reflected the su+erficial +atter) +re3alent in educational circles of that time) a$out science $ein.! /unter Colle.loFSa8on) Scotch) and *rish Americans) there were a few e8ce+tions! 'here were se3eral Catholics in the Jducation #e+artment) and a few 7ewish teachers) amon.e) for the students) e3en those from wellFtoFdo homes) were more interested in thin.e) no matter how +oor) undou$tedly would $e lar.raduation day * held ti.irls lo3ed her) $ut in a +atroni.lish! Proud as * was of the +ri.lo3es and to s+ea2 only in low and refined 3oices! 'hou.enteel teacherFtrainin.h my heart wanted to acce+t that which * felt stirrin.h school and at first seemed duller! 'he coeducational hi.irls to wear hats and . institute! "ecause of this difference there was an undefined sense of distance $etween faculty and students accentuated $y the fact that some of the staff mem$ers constantly reminded us that we were .uate wardro$e! 'hat was a feature of /unter Colle. $y the nuns in that lo3ely little cha+el! "ut thou.lish history and science) and * won a state scholarshi+ which hel+ed me to .irl in my class! *n the autumn * entered /unter) the 0ew 1or2 City colle.h$orhood! (y first for e8cellence in the students who felt we were .e! -n .e! Althou.

Par2 A3enue on her $icycle! J3idently #ean Annie /ic2en$ottom said tried to inte.uic2ly) for aside from its social as+ect all its other acti3ities seemed +urely formal! 'here was little serious discussion of the tenets of the ?aith and almost no em+hasis on Catholic +artici+ation in the affairs of the world! *n my youn. in the wind as she rode alon.thened their sense of oneness with the +ast $y +rayer! As * watched the candles .ation of the role of the Catholic Church in that era! Unfortunately her teachin.lish and who often tal2ed to her +u+ils a$out the $eauty of the . down Si8tyF ei.estions for discussion and no lon.tau. my first year at /unter * Goined the 0ewman Clu$) only to lose interest in it 3ery .ed! ?or the first time * $e.entle lady who tau.ame) was considered o3erly sentimental $y some of the staff! Perha+s she was! 1et * owe her a dee+ .! $lond hair flyin.hth Street on a $icycle and hatless L She would ha3e $een scandali. and . it difficult to determine where * $elon.reat 7ewish holidays and read aloud to us the ancient +rayers and writin.ed $y some of (iss Par2sDs ad3anced social theories! "ut in this +eriod at /unter the classroom was the teacherDs castle and no one would dare intrude! (iss Par2sDs social theories were to me $oth distur$ freshman Jn. of the +eriod! She . and e8citin. a$out it to (iss Par2s! 0e3ertheless we students 2new well what she would ha3e said had she seen us ridin. was of a +ast we considered dead! 'he teacher who affected me most as a +erson was Sarah Par2s) who tau.ance * re. arro.a+ $etween the cloistered isolation of her own life and the +ro$lems facin. intellectual dri3e +ermeated with a sense of res+onsi$ility for social reform! (y $est friend was %uth Noldstein! -ften * went to her home where her mother) a wise) fine woman with an -ld 'estament air a$out her) fed us with her .ood coo2in.h it still seemed the reasona$le +lace for me to $e! * was findin.a3e me! ?rom her came no cold array of facts $ut a warm understandin. to see how this family remained true to the history of its +eo+le) how in this new land they stren.a3e us sound ad3ice! -n the 7ewish holidays of %osh /ashana and the Passo3er (rs! Noldstein in3ited me to meals and the family ser3ices! 'he which she .ht medie3al history) #r! Jli..rate myself in the 0ewman Clu$) e3en to feel uneasy! * drifted into another circle of friends) .eFold ceremonies im+ressed meB it was Jn. the students! After awhile * .s in a 3oice that showed how she lo3ed and admired their $eauty and $elie3ed in their truth! 'he .a3e u+ ma2in.a3e me a lo3e of the thirteenth century and a reali.arded its atmos+here as antiFintellectual! 'he faculty ad3iser of the Clu$ was a dear little lady who seemed to me to $e so far remo3ed from reality that she could not +ossi$ly s+an the wide . had little of the +astB it was of the +resent and the future! She was different from the rest of the wellFmannered faculty mem$ers! (ore unorthodo8 than any of the students dared to $e) she came to school without a hat) her strai.ratitude for the a++reciation of the (iddle A. su.lish! /er teachin.ed! * am certain she would ha3e $een more scandali.a$eth "urlin.irls with a stron.

ht to class $oo2s on communism and loaned them to those of us who wanted to read them! #urin. (y own reli. anywhere! *n s+ite of our de3oted +arents) we children seemed to $e driftin.ether) and now did not seem to $ to say my +rayers! *n our house hun.matism for our +hiloso+hy! 'here were reli. had $een su+erficial! As a child * had .ines) such as T%e Nation and T%e New 0epublic.ion) un.ood .mas of Jn.nosticism for our reli. 3arious holy +ictures and the crucifi8! "ut * 2new nothin.a3e $oth .one to church with (amarella! * had $een and wron. effect on Juro+ean culture) somethin.a.rades) $ut the one on monasticism $ore the ominous little order) HSee me!H She was too honest not to . to hel+ $uild out of the +resent selfish one! Since we had no common $asis of $elief) we drifted into laisse.nF$orn +eo+le! * $ecame friendly with se3eral .rou+s! #own in the $asement of the Si8tyFei.h they sometimes lau.) with a.low and heard the /e$rew +rayers * was conscious of the fact that my family was not so $ound to.oin.irls whose +arents had $een in the %ussian %e3olution of 190<! 'hey had .in.reat li$erali. to understand others! 'heir tal2 was chiefly a$out the necessity of endin.rou+s! * was recei3ed $y all $ut felt +art of none! * s+ent many hours in discussions with different .uided $y any standard of ri.ious clu$s at /unter at this time! 'he .rown u+ hearin.ion and +ra. us dared say o+enly) H'here is no Nod!I (ost of us said) H(ay$e there is and may$e there isnDt!I 'here were a few communists on the cam+us at the time) $ut they were of little im+ortance! 'hey were a leatherFGac2eted) downFatFtheFheels . +lace! 'here we de3elo+ed a sort of intellectual +roletariat of our own! Ce discussed re3olution) se8) +hiloso+hy) reli.i3e a . which the re3olution in %ussia would also one day accom+lish! *t was she who had $rou./!aire thin2in. was a room which we had turned into an informal tearoom and meetin.rou+) who showed little interest in ma2in. themsel3es understood or in tryin. their +arents discuss socialist and (ar8ist theories! 'hou. of the doctrines of my faith! * 2new much more of the do.ious trainin.lorification of the %ussian %e3olution! 'hey were also interested in .e were from all .! Ce tal2ed of a future Hunity of forces of the mind)I a Hnew tradition)I a Hnew worldI which we were .lish com+osition! *f * held any $elief it was that we should dedicate oursel3es to lo3e of our fellow man! Sarah Par2s s+urred us on to the new and the untried! ?rom her * first heard fa3ora$le tal2 a$out the %ussian %e3olution! She com+ared it with the ?rench %e3olution which she said had had a ..rou+ * tra3eled with re.e there were also the children of many forei. the concentration of wealth in the hands of a few families) and a .row roses) the other on monasticism! She .hth Street $uildin.ood music and Juro+ean literature and read the Ho+inionI ma. in different directions! At /unter Colle.hed at their +arents they were the nucleus of the communist acti3ities to come) full of their +arentsD frustrated idealism and their sense of a (essianic mission! (y friends at /unter Colle. my first year with her as my teacher * wrote two term themes) one on how to .arded them as social clu$s which you could ta2e or lea3e) as you chose! A few amon.

rinds! Ce $e.ent! *t was tirin. on the $indin. any .ood a. year! *n the autumn * returned to /unter! * was a different . to lean on! -ne could stand erect alone! 'his new a++roach to life was a heady thin. choice since * still had difficulty in wal2in. to you) a se3enteenFyearFold .! (y sales area was a section of Cestchester County! Since it was some distance from home) * rented a room in the home of a farmerDs family near (t! Misco! All summer * sold $oo2s) and * +ro3ed a .es who ser3ed man2ind $y +uttin.reat distance without +ain! 'he $oo2 * sold that summer was called the &olume 1ibrary. $oo2s) a rather darin.rade if the wor2 was well done) $ut she also had to s+ea2 her mind on the su$Gect matter! Chen * came in) she seemed sym+athetic and as2ed how * came to choose such a to+ic! * tried to tell her a$out my readin.ious conce+ts! * had drifted into an acce+tance of the idea that those who $elie3ed in a Creator were antiFintellectual) and that $elief in an afterlife was unscientific! * was tolerant of all reli.irlEH she as2ed scornfully! *t was a . had me u+ and held me! 'hat second year * did not ha3e Sarah Par2s as a teacher! "ut * often tal2ed with her) for she in3ited some of us to her a+artment) and we sou.! *t cau. a tome filled with facts and items of information for children! *t cost from nine to fifteen dollars) de+endin.ot a Go$ sellin.uestion * could not answer) and her cle3er scorn raised dou$ts in my mind! At the end of my freshman year * decided that * must earn money to hel+ with e8+enses for the ne8t year! So * ..rades and de. who was a$le to thin2 for herself there was no need of somethin. wor2 $ut * made enou.ood .irl in many ways from the one * was when * entered colle. in the medie3al history course and how im+ressed * had $een with the selfless men and women of the (iddle A. self aside! HAnd does that seem a normal manifestation of li3in.ions! 'hey were fine) * said) for those who needed them) $ut for a human $ her ad3ice as if she were a 2ind of unofficial dean! 'o us who lo3ed her Sarah Par2s $rou.rees! * remem$er we held one discussion on whether a true intellectual should acce+t 2eys at all) since they were $ased on mar2s and used to stimulate the com+etiti3e instinct of the ra$$le and often did not re+resent true intellectual worth! Ce held that we must $e .an to s+ea2 with contem+t a$out .ed! * now tal2ed .li$ly of science and the e3olution of man and society and * was s2e+tical of reli.e the year $efore! *n a year my thin2in.arnered $y .h money that summer to 2ee+ myself in clothes and +oc2et money and for my school e8+enses the fresh air into a sterile) intellectual atmos+here where scholarshi+ sometimes seemed +ointless and where Phi "eta Ma++a 2eys were .

to s+end themsel3es on) our earnestness a++ears +athetic! Ce had) all of us) a stron.rou+ .e of ideas! (any thin.o3ernment! *t was another o++ortunity to achie3e a sense of im+ortance) to e8+ress im+atience with our elders) and at the same time to feel we were to hel+ the world) loo2in.ardin.s were discussed at the conference) amon. us to acce+t a materialist +hiloso+hy $y mercilessly deridin. the fi3e days we were there! 'he days and e3enin.irls $rou.oodness! Ce saw a $lea2 +resent and wanted to turn it into a wonderful future for the +oor and the trou$led! "ut we had no foundation for solid thin2in. a$out for somethin. to shar+ criticisms of them $y a .oals $ecause we had no sound 3iew of manDs nature and destiny! Ce had feelin.matic a++roach to moral +ro$lems! *n that se8Fsaturated +eriod of the twenties) the intellectual youn. +atterns of moral $eha3ior and di3erted some of us into a $lind alley $y her +ra. the tic2er ta+e in a Call Street office! *t was a +eriod of ostentatious 3ul.rew 3ocally indi.s at the dormitories where we stayed were filled with .ht) and of +hysical dominance! Ce considered oursel3es the youn. $ri.rou+ $ecame almost ascetic to show its scorn of thin. to a sorority had ne3er trou$led me! 0ow) listenin. will to real .arded oursel3es the avant/#arde of a new culture! *n my Gunior year * was elected +resident of my class! Se3eral of my friends and * $ecame in3ol3ed with student selfF. e8chan. for our fellow students to e8hi$it that sense of social mission! 'o Student Council meetin.s material! As * loo2 $ac2 on that fe$rile ..nant as we read of fortunes amassed $y +eo+le whose hardest la$or was +ullin.rou+) so ea. what she called Hdry rotI of e8istin.ood tal2 and an e8hilaratin.arity in the city) and our . society! * am sure she did hel+ some students) $ut she did little for those who were already so em+tied of con3ictions that they $elie3ed in nothin. .ates) * felt that * had not $een too alert re.! 'hese could only turn their ste+s toward the . . +ro+osals and *) ready to su++ort the e8+erimental and the new) listened ea. somethin. or effecti3e action! Ce had no real .e! &assar made us feel at home durin.mo3ed $y a desire for real learnin.entsia and de3elo+ed our own code of $eha3ior! Contem+tuous of the +ast and nauseated $y the crudeness and u. them sororities and their +ossi$le a$olition! 0ot $elon.erly to them all! -ur little .in.ed s2irts and sha+eless dresses) of s+iritual $li.reat delusion of our time) toward the socialistFcommunist +hiloso+hy of Marl (ar8! She .s and emotions) $ut no standards $y which to chart the future! 4ater in my Gunior year * attended with (ina %ees) the Student Council +resident) an intercolle.liness of the +eriod) we re. and for coFo+eration with other scholars) and not $y a s+irit of com+etition! (iss Par2s led a $usy life $ecause so many of us wanted to consult her! She was an im+ortant factor in +re+arin.rou+ of dele.iate conference at &assar in all sorts of da.lin. were more interested in the life around them than in the +romises of the s+irit! *t was the day of the Hfla++er)I of $o$$ed hair) of frin.uestioned e8istin.

rees) and her older sister Nertrude startled us $oth $y as2in.ed . myself that * did not need the oldFfashioned Creed any more! * was modern! * was a follower of science! * was . a$out my immediate future! * had already ta2en the e8aminations for who tau. to load on me! 'he im+ortant thin.oin.htly a Go$ K and also a man)I she said! .ht) seemed 3ery oldFfashioned! "ut * was dismayed too! * consoled myself $y re+eatin.asted! 'his) * acce+ted +ain and selfF immolationB $ut it was s2e+tical of a +romised redem+tion! * 2e+t reassurin. in $oth elementary and hi.nificance of the Cross e3en while it denied the di3inity of the Crucified! *t was a creed that willin.e is o3er) you .ht in the Jducation #e+artment) sto++ed me one day in the hall! HChy donDt you e3er come to the 0ewman Clu$EI she as2ed! * tried to find a +olite e8cuse as well as a 3alid one! 0otin.o3ernment $y conductin.rou+ it should $e considered only as the latter! "ut * s+o2e u+ and said that surely it should $e considered $oth! *n my senior year * was elected +resident of Student Council! 'hat year * led the mo3ement to esta$lish the honor system at /unter! Also in that year * $rou.oin. on a series of lectures on social hy. a line from Abu 2en Ad%em9 H'hen write me as one who lo3es his fellow men!I 'hat idea cheered me considera$ly! * threw off the +ersonal res+onsi$ility (iss J. why we were . the first straw 3ote in the +residential elections! A little later * u+set #ean /ic2en$ottom $y insistin. to s+end my life for hell!I * was fla$$er. to Colum$ia at all! H0ow that colle. the +re3ious year Professor /annah J. was tryin. my confusion) she said sternly) H"ella &isono) e3er since you were elected to Student Council and $ecame +o+ular you ha3e $een headin.) * said) was to lo3e my fellow man! 'his was the new creed) the creed of fellowshi+) and it was clear the world needed it $adly! *t was a fine +hrase which 2e+t some of the si. mastersD de. my fellow men! *n 7une 19=< * was .ettin.iene! * was su++orted $y a .h schools in 0ew 1or2 City and $ecause of the scarcity of teachers * was certain of a +osition! 'he day after commencement * was at %uth NoldsteinDs home! Ce had $oth enrolled for the summer session at Colum$ia Uni3ersity) intent on .uestion of the +unishment of crime9 was it to $e considered a +enalty or a deterrentE 'he dominant .ht the necessity of thin2in.rou+ and was e8hilarated $y the +ower it .ani.rou+ of school +oliticians and * learned the 3alue of a ti.irls must .a3e! +olitics into student selfF.raduated with honors! Commencement had $rou.this +ro$lem! * had always considered them rather infantile $ut the conference seemed to consider them a social +ro$lem! Ce discussed the im+ortance of an honor system under student su+er3ision! *n line with discussion of the honor system we tal2ed a$out the .

erton! *Dm Gust out of colle.ion! 'he nuns went in and out of my room and were efficient and friendly! -nce or twice * saw a +riest .ery on my foot! 0ow that * was free from school wor2 * made a sudden decision! * went to St! ?rancis /os+ital in the "ron8! Chy * chose that hos+ital * do not 2now! 'o the nun who a++eared to inter3iew me * said * needed sur.ious matters while * was there! /ad they done so) * mi.e $ut *Dll .ardin.o $y) $ut none came in to tal2 to me! 0o one s+o2e to me of reli.e * had $een a student) a +olitician) a reformer! 0ow) with time to thin2) * reali.%uth and * smiled at her words! 'hey did) howe3er) start a chain of thou. for meEI * as2ed timidly! H-f course * can)I he said! HA cleanFcut am+utation and youDll $e a$le to wal2 easily! * +romise you that you will $e a$le to dance and s2ate si8 wee2s after you lea3e the hos+ital!I 'here was a further im+ortant matter to discuss! H/ow much will it costEI * as2ed! /e named what was no dou$t a modest sum for his ser3ices! Cith a selfFconfidence that sur+rised e3en myself * said) H* ha3e no money at all now) #r! Jd.ed that * was also a woman! * reali. and ca+a$le that * had confidence in him immediately! * showed him my foot and as2ed) HChat do you thin2 of itEI /is answer was direct and em+hatic! H*tDs a rotten am+utation)I he said! HCan you do anythin.eon connected with the hos+ital! She .erton had +romised! * soon o$tained a +osition as a su$stitute teacher in the /istory #e+artment of Seward Par2 /i. my years at colle.ery on my foot and * wanted the name of the $est sur.ements for me to enter St! ?rancis /os+ital the ne8t mornin.ed also that my education had done little to train me as a woman! ?or some time * had 2nown that * must ha3e further sur.! * was in e8cellent hands! 'he ?ranciscan nurses in char.e were com+etent and so were the lay nurse assistants! Chen * entered the hos+ital and was . reli.h School which) with disci+line at a low e$$) was considered a hard school! * was to ha3e si8 classes in medie3al and Juro+ean history! .a3e me the name of #r! Jd. well) as #r! Jd.erton was a man well o3er si8 feet tall and he loo2ed so $! a Go$ as soon as * am well and then *Dll +ay you as fast as * can!I /e smiled at me! H*Dll ta2e a chance)I he said) and made arran.erton and his office address on Par2 A3enue! * went immediately to see him! #r! Jd. the statement no dou$t with youthful $ra3ado! As * loo2 $ac2 on that time * thin2 it was a +ity that no one +aid attention to my statement re.ion * said * had $een a Catholic $ut was now a freethin2er) ma2in.uestioned as to my ha3e res+onded! Si8 wee2s after * went home * was wal2in.

was unusual) for he sim+ly directed his students to the li$rary and told them to read! *n class he ne3er . with a sense of re3erence for the tas2 and a determination to 2ee+ to my ideals) $ut li2e all youn.e in ?e$ruary 19=6! CHAPTER FOUR '/A' SP%*0N of 19=6 * had a full teachin. to do with it! 'here was nothin. of ?e$ruary! Sometime after the turn of the new year in 19=6) #r! #awson) the chairman of the Political Science #e+artment at /unter Colle.ot e8cited or e8+ressed any +assionate o+inions! /e had tau.e! * $e. teachers * had to learn that there is a wide .e! * came to my teachin. anythin. +ro. de$ris) +ut out the fire) and collared the four nearest $oys! HCho lit the fireEI * demanded! 'hey denied ha3in. (orris 4e3ine) said to me) HAw) (iss &isono) what do you want me to read K the Times E * donDt own any stoc2s and $onds!I 'he school term at Seward Par2 was to end at the $e.ue of 0ations and he $elie3ed that the *nternational Court at 'he /a.a+ $etween theory and +ractice! *t is in the classroom that a teacher learns how to teach! All courses .ood ad3ice! * wor2ed hard to stimulate interest and they did settle down! 'he rest of the term +assed without any more 3iolent demonstrations! * tried) in line with my acute interest in +olitics) to interest my youn.Chen * a++eared on the scene the students had $een without a teacher for wee2s and were at the chal2FandFeraserFthrowin.entleman whose method of teachin. * came in to find a fire at the $ac2 of the room! * wal2ed o3er to the the ta$loids and when * s+o2e of this choice with some annoyance) one of my students) youn. at /unter Colle. news+a+ers to class and * started li3ely discussions! (ost of the $oys $rou. .uide+osts to a $asic o$Gecti3e! 'he $oys had e3idently decided to test me! -n my second day of teachin.htfully) H4isten) (iss &isono) what you ha3e to do is show them that you can ta2e their . are $ut . more to do at the moment! 'he fire was out) so the lesson in Juro+ean history continued! * decided to sol3e my +ro$lem without callin.i3en on methods of teachin.e) called and offered me a +ost at the colle. sta.e) and we were crowded for s+ace! #r! #awson) chairman of the de+artment) a &ir.innin.ue was the $e. either the head of the de+artment or the assistant +rinci+al! * as2ed one of the older $oys for hel+! HJ3ans)I * said) Hyou are older than the rest! /el+ me with this +ro$lem!I J3ans scratched his head and said thou.aff! After that theyDll settle down!I *t was .ram of fifteen hours a wee2 in freshman +olitical science! Classes were lar.inian) had $een my teacher in all my classes in +olitical science! * 2new his tem+er and his methods! /e was a wellFmannered .ht at Princeton when Coodrow Cilson was +resident there! /e was a Cilsonian #emocrat and uncritically su++orted Cilson and the 4ea.innin. students! * made them $ teachin.

est! Ce dissected and analy. stairs and rin.e un+re+ared! ?acilities were inade.o3ernment and an a++reciation of the fundamentals of the Constitution! "ecause #r! #awson was a &ir.! * did not 2now what * e8+ected from my students! *n lieu of this * tried to stimulate them) to ma2e them thin2 and ar.inian) +erha+s) we .ue a$out +u$lic .er for such reforms as a city international sta$ility! /e was a +ersuasi3e +ro+a.ed local +olitical $osses with the cynicism of old hands) and then we $e. to enlist in local +olitical $attles! 'hese sent students throu.) * had thrown myself heart and soul into endless hours of readin.! Some +rofessors contended +u$licly that the war had not $een fou.hts! * was a teacher myself now) $ut * had no clear +ers+ecti3e as to the o$Gecti3es of teachin. +ollanddecision $ased on a treaty relatin. curricula) $i$lio.ers) who tau.o3ernmentB all our tal2 was of su+erficial formalities! * had $een one of his fa3orite students $ecause) while many students did little wor2 when our classes at the same time in different sections of the auditorium which had $een used as a cha+el! Ce three youn.i3en freedom of wor2in. teachers had $een close friends at colle.h to de3ote an entire course to it! *t was then only si8 years after the Missouri v.andi.a3e me an interest in American .raduate wor2 in +olitical science! At that time many +rofessors were slantin. their to +ush on into +olitical clu$houses to learn still more of this fascinatin.ues! All of us enrolled in the .arded this to+ic im+ortant enou.uate! Ce three tau. door$ells) to teach them the democratic +rocess $y actual research! Ce entered on this new 2ind of la$oratory wor2 with .ue3ille) 4ord "ryce) and Charles A! "eard) which .ether) de3elo+in.h the city) clim$in. in the li$rary) es+ecially the wor2s of #e 'oc. +owers! Some of the +rofessors wondered audi$ly why 4indsey %o. the im+ortance of current acti3ity in +olitical +arties and +ractical +olitics! Some were $e.h the te8t$oo2! %uth Noldstein) ( to ma2e the world safe for democracy and that Nermany had $een shamefully treated $y the &ersailles 'reaty! *t was also a time when Colum$ia +rofessors fresh from the 4ondon School of Jconomics and from the "roo2in.ets! * had found it easy to acce+t his $eliefs and to ma2e them my own! 0e3er once did we reach fundamental .ht it) re.aret Nustaferro) and * $ecame assistants to #r! #awson! *n 19=6 the a3alanche of freshmen found the colle.uestions on .uestions) and * ho+ed to ha3e them ready to ta2e action on these in later life! * wanted to ha3e them learn system) direct +rimaries) and e8ecuti3e $ud.h +ractical e8+erience as well as throu.ot more than we would otherwise on the su$Gect of statesD ri. +rofession! -ne of my courses at Colum$ia that year was a study of the United States Senate and its treatyFma2in.s *nstitute were disco3erin.ratory $irds K and the +attern of treaty law had not yet $ecome a++arent to many! * was fascinated $y the su$Gect and its im+lications! .ra+hies) and new techni.e! 0ow we wor2ed to. in the direction 2nown as muc2ra2in. to mi.raduate school at Colum$ia Uni3ersity for .

we were sayin.ress if there were no radicals! *n the days that ha3e . they had $! "y usin. +eo+le were intri.ued $y the +ossi$ilities of +artici+ation in .ressi3e Jducation Association! * $ecame aware of the +o+ular conce+t of the social frontier! * .rou+s! "efore lon.ed them to mi8 with all . history of social mo3ements! *t is one which see2s to o$literate in one re3olutionary wa3e two thousand years of manDs +ro.s * continued my wor2 at Colum$ia! * had Carlton 7! /! /ayes on H'he %ise of 0ationalism!I * studied closely A! A! "erle and Nardiner (eans who wrote of the two hundred cor+orations that controlled America at the end of Corld Car *! * read widely on im+erialism and $e.estion! Ce encoura. at /unter * was to re+eat this semantic falsehood many times! * did not see the truth that +eo+le are not $orn Hri.. my thirteen years of teachin. of +eo+le as either since we enunciated these statements so confidently * ha3e had many occasions to see that this catalo.htI or HleftI nor can they $ecome Hri. K and not yet reali. the afternoons and e3enin.reat num$ers to the city colle. them %aymond (oley) not yet a %oose3elt $rain truster! 'here were courses on the +ress and on +u$lic o+inion! Ce to $e critical of the role my country was new courses that year and new +rofessors) to colle.less clichO K that the radicals of today are the conser3ati3es of tomorrow) that there could $e no +ro.e with them! Ce sent out .o3ernment control and the 3arious means of achie3in.yme necessary for +ro. this! *n our enthusiasm we +assed on to our students at /unter what we had learned! Ce of what they really stand for) one sees them as the ran2est 2ind of reactionaries and communism as the most reactionary $ac2ward lea+ in the lon.! * disco3ered the 7ohn #ewey Society and the Pro.ress! #urin. it was merely a rather the H2idsI to their clu$s! Ce did not sto+ it) howe3er! Ce sent them in +airs to 3isit courts and Gails) to call /unter to find out what the idea was of sendin.htI or HleftI unless educated on the $asis of a +hiloso+hy which is as carefully or.'here were other refreshin.islatures and institutions! Chen a socialist student as2ed if .irls to +olitical clu$s) too! Soon +olitical leaders $e.htI or HleftI has led to more confusion in American life than +erha+s any other false conce+t! *t sounds so sim+le and so! 'he mar2 of the decade was on us! Ce were so+histicated) intellectually sno$$ish) $ut usually fetishly HdemocraticI with the students! *t is true that we understood them $etter than did many of the older teachersB our sym+athy with them was a +art of oursel3es! #urin.ed and as allFinclusi3e as communism! * was amon.ard them as the en. the first of a new 2ind of teacher who was to come in .ress! Communists usur+ the +osition of the left) $ut when one e8amines them in the li.ed the traditional thin2in. this schematic de3ice one +uts the communists on the left and then one re.rou+s could 3isit the socialist clu$s) too) we acce+ted the su.ards them as ad3anced li$erals Fafter which it is easy to re.

a3e the whole de+artment color! /er ele3en cats were a le.rou+s F charity) church) and other or.also re+eated .ht must $e social! 'here would $e) we were told) in the near future a collecti3e society in our world and es+ecially in our country) and in teachin.h me that they had acce+ted this cold) hard faith they li3ed $y! "ut in 19=6 * had little thou. students one must +re+are them for that day! As a result of that yearDs study of American history and national +olitics) as well as in the direct e8+erience of my students and myself in local +olitics) * now $ to tear a+art $efore my students many res+ected +u$lic . in her stride! She was a hardy old lady who tau.e) and it had an e3en worse effect on my more sensiti3e students! *f they followed where * led) there was nothin.ered at those who had money without wor2in.e at Colum$ia! * was always im+ressed $y the and * had .end! 'hat of the communists e8ce+t that * did not +reclude theirs as a solution of +ro$lems! * was merely$ly that we had reached the last of our natural frontiers and that the new ones to $e sou.ood tal2 and sometimes went to the $istros of that era of +rohi$ition! -nce * too2 one of the elderly +rofessors at /unter to a s+ea2easy) +artly as a lar2 and +artly as a 2indness) thin2in.! 4ater when) in the Communist Party) * met one of these former students of mine) it was always with the the thin.s wron.oadin.athered round the trees which $ore the shields of their states! *) too) reali. she as2ed me if she could lea3e one of them with me while she went to Juro+eB friends were history and .ed what a +owerful effect 'eachers Colle.e enrollment of teachers from nearly e3ery state in the union! * watched them as they . o3er the rest! * +romised) and turned the cat o3er to my mother) alon.ations F that were tryin.e could ha3e on American education with thousands of teachers to influence national +olicy and social thin2in. this +eriod * went to 'eachers Colle.! . my +u+ils and myself on to feel that we must do somethin. +o+ulation! 'here were li. to show her life! "ut "essie #ean Coo+er too2 the e3enin. in the world! Chen * $ecame emotional in my tal2s it was $ecause * was an. with the food and medicines and careful directions and the catDs $lan2et and +illow! (other too2 a loo2 at all this +ara+hernalia and said $riefly) H * feed cats li2e cats)I and did so until their mistress returned! Some years later (iss Coo+er retired from /unter and too2 the ele3en cats to li3e on the ?rench %i3iera! ?re. misery of the wor2in.oin. to hel+ set ari. that * was res+onsi$le for her +resent way of lifeB it was throu.uently durin. for it and who did not hel+ to lessen the increasin. left for them to $elie3e in! * had tried to wrec2 their former ways of thou.hter moments in my days) of course! Ce met for +arties and . to $etter conditions in oldFfashioned ways! 'his sort of tal2 had a destructi3e effect on myself) * now reali.i3en them no new +aths to follow! 'he reason was sim+le9 * had none myself) $ecause * really didnDt 2now where * was .

reat mass of un2nown human $ to awa2en in me a +oi. our o+inions! 'hat summer . o3er ideas! Ce met on a le3el of to transfer my +ersonal feelin.e! "ut the sa3in.nant sense of 2inshi+! *n fact) * $e.) for there is in teachin. of what she is and what she $elie3es and * 2now * did much dama.lish and was ea.en of the world! *t was a desire that made it easy and natural for me to acce+t communism and its em+hasis on internationalism! As for the +ast) when * felt a under the im+etus of such tal2) to feel in me a desire to $e a citi. to .uality and tolerance and with the ho+e that a world could $e created $y the youn.o.) and they were not yet +ressured $y +ractical considerations of Go$s and careers) not yet ha3in.a3e me my first o++ortunity to tal2 to +eo+le of other countries and to learn that they) too) were filled with a +assionate desire to $etter their own countries and the world! * $e.h resol3e) many of them as students! 'hey came to colle.s to this wholly un2nown defeated mass! And so it came a$out that * $e.reat many other +eo+le Al$ert "achman of the ?rench #e+artment who had tau.nored it! * acce+ted the +resent) with all its undirected selfishness) $ut * could not really adGust myself to it! (ore and more * wanted to tal2 and act only in terms of the future) of a future that would ha3e none of the corru+tion of the +resent! *t de+ressed me that +eo+le close to me could accommodate themsel3es to such a +resent! -nly +eo+le * did not 2now) the . +ower! * ha3e always enGoyed teachin.en into a mold $y a cynical society or $y a we$ of +ower which set the sta.e with hi.race in my destructi3e teachin.ual terms! Ce were not aware of the ti. a continual renewin. and had not yet $een to see2 my s+iritual home amon. and ali3e) $ecause they were in the +rocess of $ecomin.'hat year * learned that Neor.) the twisted! * lo3ed them $ecause they were youn. of that time was that in my +ersonal relationshi+s with these students * retained within me somethin. the dis+ossessed of the earth! A teacher cannot hel+ $ut transmit to her students somethin.s) $e. of the essence of what Nod had meant me to $e K a woman) a mother! * lo3ed my students) all of them) the dull) the wea2) the stron.e for moldin. and a.uent 3isitor at *nternational /ouse) to which * was first in3ited $y an economics student from the Phili++ines! 'here * met amon. men and women of all nations in which all +eo+le could li3e and wor2 on free and to ha3e the American teachers study it carefully! /e +romised a re+ort on %ussian schools when he returned! At this +eriod * was influenced $y many institutions around the cam+us at Colum$ia as much as $y the classes * attended! * $ecame a $y a sense of dedication to learnin. a .ret for what * was at 'a.oreDs school in *ndia and who introduced me to handsome students from the PunGa$) li2e myself youn.e Counts) an associate of 7ohn #ewey) li2e him a +hiloso+her and theorist on education) had .) and in that renewal there is always the +romise of that freshness which $rin.s us nearer to +erfection! 'o me freshmen were always a deli.) the conni3in.e of re. .one to %ussia! /e had) of course) $een there $efore! *n fact) he had set u+ the educational system of the re3olutionary +eriod for the %ussian No3ernment! /e had translated the %ussian Primer into Jn. $ehind me) * i.

e was filled! Ce had $oo2s $ut we did ..lin. that Con.reatly! *n +lace of the stra. from the foundation of the %e+u$lic to the +resent) and * found one +attern re+eated many times9 that of the men who rose from hum$le $e.ress a (irror of the 0ationEI (y +a+er came to no conclusions! *n fact) when * read it o3er in ty+ed form) * had the unha++y feelin.e which $rou. years * s+ent endless free hours in the Colum$ia 4i$rary and in %oom 00 at the 0ew 1or2 Pu$lic 4i$rary! ?or my dissertation for the masterDs de. my years at ta2en $y the march of +ro. im+atient with a$stract scholarshi+) for it seemed to lead nowhere! * hated the em+hasis +laced in the school system on .rees! An (!A! was necessary to hold certain Go$s and a Ph!#! was essential for a +romotion and an increase in salary! * .uire an education! * was im+ressed $y the num$er who were at first schoolteachers) then +ut themsel3es throu.e freshman) we rented a cotta. community) with a+artment houses and su$ways! Ce had had to .accommodate themsel3es to the status $uo.e it! * was mo3ed $y feelin.) for +artici+ation! * did not youth lon.led to ac.! 'he +ro+erty was sold) the house +ulled down) and the land di3ided into $uildin. countryside of my childhood there was now a $ustlin.erate) now under+lay) the real! #urin.reat measure on the teacher and the . lots! At Schroon 4a2e) %uth and "eatrice and * were alone for days at a time! -ur friends came for wee2 ends) howe3er) and then our cotta.i3e u+ our old house $ecause it was dila+idated and not worth re+airin.ress was somewhat li2e those Coney *sland mirrors which now e8a.ed for si.ed how much * missed the land until * found myself $ac2 on it! A few years $efore our own home had .et away from 0ew 1or2! So) with "eatrice ?eldman) also a /unter Colle.! After * had deli3ered my dissertations and recei3ed my (aster of Arts de.ress! #urin. de.uential! And my ea.ree in the summer of 19=>) %uth Noldstein and *) $oth tired out from the yearDs hard wor2) decided to ta2e a cotta. 'hey were li2e acolytes Gust learnin.oals and standards she sets! #urin.uestioned the 3alue of the many dissertations filed away in the archi3es! 'he to+ics chosen for dissertations seemed more and more inconse.s and emotions and an accumulation of 2nowled. the ritual! *f * had $een a$le) durin.rowin. these years) * would ha3e +rayed hard for the retention of this flame in my students! ?or the flame is there always! *t is in them all) $ut whether later it $ursts into a fire that destroys) or flic2ers to nothin..nificance) for meanin..rimDs %est had altered . the community around Pil.ree * chose the su$Gect9 H*s Con.e for the summer and .ht me no Goy of li3in.innin.ra+hies in the -on#ressional 3irectory. my wor2 on this +a+er * read hundreds of the $rief $io.nificance is all a$out us and that it comes from order! 'here was no order in my life! * had no +attern $y which to arran.ettin.e and of teachin.s and who stru. my first two teachin.e what * now 2now) and ha3e come to 2now throu.e on Schroon 4a2e) in the Adirondac2s! * was ha++y to $e $ac2 in the country! * had not reali.) de+ends in .h much turmoil of s+irit) that si.h law school) and later entered +olitics! * myself was .

e industrial city! * as2ed myself why it was that other families * 2new did not ha3e this a$ility to hold to.olf while * sat on the .uished Jn. idyllic a$out a .rass and watched! And we tal2ed often until late into the ni.o to slee+) had $e.uarters so small that release and satisfaction had to $e found outside the home) lest the walls of one room suffocate the dwellers! -ne of the +leasantest e3ents of that summer in the Adirondac2s was in different directions) or the only one who was attachin.) $ut when she loo2ed u+ at me the dar2 eyes full of tears seemed older than those of a little .e! Ce de$ated the 3alue of many of the thin.e! * found them that in a++earance she and her dau. accent! * thou.uietly to comfort her! *t was o$3ious she did not 2now why she was cryin.e) $ut still one room! ( cities) when oneF room a+artments were $ecomin.ether) im+er3ious to the corrodin. of traditions) to the continuous renewin. the other in . +eo+le who see2 nothin. many su$Gects! Ce discussed the theories of 7ohn #ewey and of 7ustice /olmes) we tal2ed of the +hiloso+hy of education) and of +ractical .ay +ersifla.rate) this was li2e a new 2ind of family! -f course * was not the only one the mem$ers of whose family had . from each other e8ce+t com+anionshi+! 'o me) who had seen my own family disinte.rou+ of youn. my hand) * sat there with a stran. +o+ular! "efore that) no matter how +oor the family) it ne3er had less than three or more rooms! 0ow the 2itchen was +ushed into a tiny alco3e) the $ed was tuc2ed into a closet) and you li3ed in one modern room) sometimes ele. to .ht) discussin. the ?in2elsteins) 4ouis and Carmel) and their children) a lo3ely little .ht she did not li2e me) $ut now she let me hold her hand as * tal2ed . to.ra! Carmel came from a distin. in our lar. that summer * stayed at home with the children! After some time * saw that /adassah) who had $een tryin.ain * saw the warmth of a family which was li2eFminded) closely 2nit) and determined to stay to. herself instead to the social family of the li2eFminded! *t was a +eriod when houses as homes were disa++earin.s our +arents had acce+ted without fuss or e8amination! 'here is somethin.e .lish family and she s+o2e with a fascinatin.reat +art due to the cherishin.irl and there was an odd fear in the way she sat close to me and we+t! Chen she finally fell aslee+) still holdin.ether! * felt that family sta$ility was in .hter loo2ed li2e characters out of the "i$le! #r! 4ouis was a ra$$i from the "ron8 and he had the face of an a+ostle! -ften his $rothers H/in2yI and (aurice would come to 3isit and * lo3ed to listen to them tal2in.ether) each to++in. with a man or a woman in .not read much! Ce s+ent hours on the la2e) and at times %uth and "eatrice +layed tennis and .uestions a$out life and lo3e and marria. influences of a lar.irl) /adassah) and a $a$y named J.e for the intellectual +roletariat $ecame the +rocess of li3in.ant and lar.un to cry for no a++arent reason! She was a detached sort of child and * thou. of the memories of the +ast which included their friendshi+ with Nod and a $oundless loyalty to each other! -ne e3enin. $ecause they were not only well read) not only dee+ly interested in the arts and in +hiloso+hy) $ut also +ractical men of affairs who understood +olitics! (y friendshi+ with the ?in2elsteins was to continue for years! *n them a.

e .e! *t was a +eriod in which * was dee+ly in3ol3ed in the acti3ities of the students in my own colle. unorthodo8 li3es! *t was a +eriod in which a lo3e of literature) the arts) and an interest in the %ussian %e3olution $ecame the e8cuse for mornin. on cases! %uth also found fault with my +reoccu+ation with other! 'hat fall * made a shar+ switch in my career! 'ired of the sterility of . +ast) as if two thousand years had $een only one ni.ued me) $ecause it was a reflection of the +ast of society which hel+ed me to understand the +resent) * was not interested in le.e K a +eriod in which * was not only instructor $ut ser3ed as ad3iser to many of them) indi3idually and in their .! *n one class * sat ne8t to a youn. home and li3in. endlessly! Sarah had $een one of us) $ut now her a$sor+tion with at /unter Colle.e) sometimes se3eral hundred students! 'he case system) which was in almost uni3ersal use then) did not hold my interestB * found the method dreary! #es+ite this * li2ed the study of the lawB it was a disci+line worth masterin.e! *t was a +eriod in which we s+ent sittin.e and attended my law classes in the afternoons! 'he classes at law school were +rocedure) which * felt was intended to +reser3e an outmoded status $uo! (y constant +reoccu+ation with the need to after ni.e! 'hese were su$Gects in which * was not interested at that time) for * lo3ed my +osition as teacher so much that the salary . instructor distur$ed $y the conflictin. the intellectuals * turned to Sarah Par2s for ad3ice and clarification! "ut the teacher * had admired when * was an under. o3er a lon. classes at /unter Colle. in little) cram+ed a+artments in Nreenwich &illa. +oetry in my note$oo2 when * should ha3e $een wor2in. in me) as if she had $een cryin.s than the law! ?or it was true that while the su$stance of the law intri.uestion seemed secondary! "ut Sarah was aflame o3er ine.feelin. hours) ni. ideas and li3in. men and women who were tal2in.raduate was em$roiled in contro3ersy o3er salary and +romotion +olicies in the of myself as a teacher! CHAPTER FIVE ?%-( '/J ?A44 of 19=> to 7une 19 0 * attended 0ew 1or2 Uni3ersity 4aw School and tau. man named Samuel #i ?alco who is now a Su+reme Court Gud.rou+ acti3ities! As a youn.raduate wor2) %uth Noldstein and * entered 0ew 1or2 Uni3ersity 4aw School! * tau. $efore fire+laces in some &illa.arret) tal2in.e! /e used to find fault with me for scri$$lin. and also e3enin.e +olitics had a . * also found the students interestin.uality of des+eration! * did not feel that the situation warranted the e8tremes of emotion she . currents amon.e the status $uo made me almost im+atient with much of the last year of law school! "ut * did not e8+ect to +ractice law! * thou.uities of ran2 and salary) and for her sa2e * tried to interest myself in these matters! 'his was a +eriod in which * was meetin.

e to $elie3e in the new! #urin.rou+! Ce felt that she thou.e education and +ractically no thou.! (any came to colle. thin2in. s+ent more time with her! * thou. the s+rin.uilty at not ha3in.! (y wor2 at law school was mediocre! At /unter Colle.+oured into it! * did not 2now then that *) too) was to follow in her footste+s! At this time * sensed only that a certain em+tiness in her life was cata+ultin.ettin. was recedin. of the uneducated who are determined that their children must ha3e a colle. and * wanted to enGoy life! *t was a tri+ rich in new contacts! Cith a ca+acity to ma2e friends * found +eo+le of interest in e3ery wal2 of life in the different countries we 3isited! *t was on this tri+ that * was to meet my future hus$and) 7ohn #odd! .e and with my friend "eatrice left for Juro+e! *n a foolish 2ind of way * ho+ed to find there answers which were not +eo+le enterin. and +ur+ose of a colle.rade school and hi. of standards! 'here was little thin2in. which ine3ita$ly led to selfFdestruction! Careful not to continue on the +ath which led to her suicide * was to ta2e a lon. only disharmony) confusion) and defeat! 'he years 19=A and 19=9 were re+lete with confusion and u. * had failed her! * was $itter a$out those at the colle. for their +arents the modern yearnin. a$out the and li3ed as an indi3idualist and in our twisted estimate of a human life we felt that this was her failure! Ce did not reco.e to whom she had turned for affection and who) instead) had shut the door u+on her! /er death had a +rofound effect on those of us whom she had influenced! Ce felt that Sarah had the intellectual coura. colle.h school! * was aware of the as a collecti3ist $ut fou.uired for $ecomin.e the classes were . to us from the hi. at home! * was tired and restless! * wanted to esca+e from all sense of res+onsi$ility! * was more dece+ti3e yet +arallel road to annihilation! * refused to retrace my ste+s to the +oint of de+arture into wron.liness! * turned more and more to the literature of des+air! * tried to write) $ut found that my inner confusion reflected itself in my wor2! ?or the first time in my life * 3iewed the future with a++rehension! * found little +leasure in and the students comin. her 3iolently into e3erythin.uested a lea3e of a$sence from the of the role of free munici+al colle. a disci+lined mem$er of the .! * did not 2now then that this could $rin.h schools were not well +re+ared! 'he sense of dedication to learnin.e almost as automatically as they entered .e that life had $ecome un$eara$le to her $ecause of the disorder of her thin2in.e education! * was conscious of an increasin. collecti3e society) $ut not the +ractical $oldness re. she did! * tended to withdraw from our close friendshi+ and to culti3ate new friends who $uilt on the foundation she had hel+ed to esta$lish! Chen in 7anuary 19=A she committed suicide * was thrown into an emotional tails+in! * felt . of 19 0 * too2 the (edina cram courses and +re+ared for the e8amination for admission to the 0ew 1or2 "ar! 'he e8amination o3er) * re.e $ecause they were fulfillin. mass of youn.

oalE under what standardsE .! 'here were the decadent ris.uO s+ots! 'here were also fine old restaurants) old homes and churches) and other e3idences of an earlier day! *t was a city of contrasts! 'oo fre.i and later the communist +ower with a terrifyin. each other and Gointly underminin.reed K that fascism could ne3er come to Nermany! *t was +ossi$le in *taly) they said) $ecause of the lac2 of .ation now a++arent! 'his made it +ossi$le for such des+irituali.! Ce loo2ed at them and listened! "ut we were Americans with dollars in our +urses $ent on ha3in.arded themsel3es as conser3ati3es attached to their own country $y the natural lo3e of oneDs homeland! Acts of 3iolence were common in the city and around the uni3ersity! * was conscious of the fact that here +olitics had $ecome a matter of life and death! * was conscious also that the intellectuals) the teachers) +rofessors) and scientists were arro.e) as * now do) that for close to a century the educational world of Nermany had $een su$Gected to systematic des+irituali.ation which could result only in the dehumani. at the seats of learnin.ed men to ser3e $oth the 0a. a .reat institutions which colla+sed first of all were K the Nerman uni3ersities and the Nerman Ci3il Ser3ice! 'hey were the first to ser3e the ?uehrer) and it was from them that we were to learn the lesson that education in and of itself is not a deterrent to the destruction of a nation! 'he real .radation flaunted in the ni.ant in their +ride $ut lac2ed the inner stren.uently discussed the risin.shoremen) soldiers! 'here were the nouveau ric%e with +oc2ets $ul.uently we came face to face with middleFclass Nermans with +inched) strained faces) ready) when they noted sym+athy) to tell you their trou$les! 'he thin.! Ce tal2ed with uni3ersity students and +rofessors! 'he uni3ersity was torn with strife! Socialists) Communists) 0ational Socialists were $attlin.) to +lay a salutary role in that countryDs hour of need! /ere were men of the hi. with the countryDs wealth! 'here were Communists e3erywhere) marchin.e at the Uni3ersity of "erlin and we had the o++ortunity to see what was ha++enin. city) filled with merchant seamen) lon. those who re. loyalty and efficiency! *n Nermany * s+ots and e8hi$ited to the tourists e3erywhere! 'he atmos+here oP the city seemed char.ed as the air is $efore an electric storm! * found some of my friends from /unter Colle.reat Nerman uni3ersities and the Nerman Ci3il Ser3ice! Chen) contrary to their statements) it did ha++en in Nermany) the two .Ce landed in /am$ur. could not ha++en in Nermany! 'wo institutions would +re3ent this9 the .in. +rofessors and students ali2e were a.uestions to $e +osed are9 what 2ind of educationE to what +ur+oseE with what . and * found it an tide of conflict) $ut on one thin.eneral education K such a thin.oin.ood time! *n "erlin we saw more +inched faces and more $latant la3ishness! Ce were alarmed at the fran2 and o+en e3idences of se8ual and moral de.hest intellectual achie3ements who were ready to attach themsel3es to the forces of 3iolence! * did not then reali. that struc2 me was their $ewilderment! 'hey neither understood the cause of their +redicament nor where they were .) sin.

oin.ination had em$ellished! &enice was a hi.ain we were struc2 $y the +ain in the +inched white faces of the nati3e Austrians! Ce wore our sim+lest clothes in order not to .uay! -nce a.! ?rom Austria we went to *taly! * had loo2ed forward with illFconcealed e8citement to a return to the land of my $irth! * e8+ected the sense of not $elon.ay little urchins! 'he day * s+ent in #resden was my ha++iest in Nermany! * was that was u+on them had no standard to which to rally! 'hey were fri.ains with those who had money! 'he s+iritual) $roodin.e in the early twenties * had declared myself an antiFfascist at a time when it was not fashiona$le to do so! *t had $een an emotional declaration $rittle) materialistic city! *t was o3errun $y men in uniform! Practically one out of three was a soldier! * went to the Cathedral) $ut was unmo3ed $y the ser3ices! *t was crowded with wellFdressed +eo+le of all nations! -utside) the merchants dro3e shar+ $ar.! /e told us he had made arran.enerally refused to s+end much time in museums and churches $ut * wanted to .ainst it $ecause we had watched men and women who lo3ed music stand outside the o+era house while tourists and +rofiteers Gammed the +lace! "eatriceDs uncle) who had $een a financial ad3iser in the re.h our lu.ed that * did not $ and Child and the cheru$s at their feet loo2in.s! "ut once a. li2e .uares and watchin.e) we arri3ed in &enice) and went to a hotel with a Nerman name! "ut * searched in 3ain to find the *taly which my memory had treasured and my ima. which was +art of me suddenly to disa++ear! * was countin. tri+ to see the lo3ely &ir.ainst those smu. to return to the +ast) $ut not the sli.i3e offense to the +eo+le we met! Ce had wanted to . the faces of .ain * was struc2 $y the fact that those who de+lored the $li..htened! 'here was a sense of 4eltsc%mer. mem$ers of society who tal2ed a$out the wonders that fascism had accom+lished for *taly! * felt they were more concerned with train schedules and sanitation than with the $eauty of its culture and the soul of its +eo+le! 1et when we reached ?lorence * found that e3en fascism was una$le to corrode the un$elie3a$ly $eautiful sym$ols of the +ast! * lo3ed $ein.hly so+histicated) . in ?lorence! 'he delicate restraint of its scenery and of its architecture seemed to reflect the character of the +eo+le themsel3es! * found myself awareness as to where they were .uality of *taly which * had treasured was nowhere a++arent and * reali.ed it was dyin. on a mystical transformation! Ce crossed the $order) the customs ins+ector del3ed throu.o to #resden and see the Sistine (adonna! *t was worth the lon. in the country * had left as a child! * now saw the tan. in the +u$lic s. and a lon.o to the o+era! *n an act of renunciation we decided a. forward to &ienna! *t was fortunate that "eatrice had relati3es in that fa$ulous ca+ital of the /a+s$ur.i$le e3idence of the $li.* was ha++y to lea3e "erlin! And now * insisted on a tri+ which was not on our schedule! * had hitherto . us to some famous coffeehouses! As he tal2ed of the history of &ienna) * $ecame aware of the fact that he lo3ed the city dee+ly $ut of fascist +hiloso+hy! As a student at /unter Colle.ime of ?ran. .in. 7ose+h) entertained us $y ta2in.ements to ta2e his family to Uru.

h my education and my own +er3erse +ride of mind) had tra3eled from the +ast of my own +eo+le and from the accumulated wisdom and safety which two thousand years of Christianity could +ro3ide for the modern children of the Cestern world! * dro3e miles in the hot sun to 3isit the .h * did not thin2 the Union could $e of hel+ to me +ersonally! . home * met a . s+irit at the heart of Christianity! *t was e3idence of how far 1) throu.ers of the American ?ederation of 'eachers were suddenly of my mother who had a farmerDs disdain of the military! H'hey all li3e on our $ac2s)I she used to say! And now * thou.e within the la$or mo3ement and they ur.ed my friend and me to Goin the Union! Chen * +ointed out that their union consisted lar.rou+ of 0ew 1or2 City schoolteachers) who told me they $elon.ed to the 'eachers Union! 'hey discussed the im+ortance of ha3in.ed to see the di3ersity and the $eauty of the +ast culture of the cities of *taly! &enice was unli2e ?lorence! &erona and " of its +ast! * 3isited the &atican and some of the churches) $ut the truth is that * 3isited them were a world a+art from %ome! *n this day) when there is so much tal2 a$out mass culture and so many worshi+) or are fri. teachers or. $ac2 carryin.e teachers! * +romised to Goin as an e3idence of my willin.inal or.uity) and on a moonlit ni.ely of +u$lic schoolteachers and that * did not thin2 that * loo2ed with awe on the tiers of the Colosseum and had a sense of the len.those who went $y) struc2 $y the fact that the sim+lest of *taly as one achin.nificance! *n %ome the +ower of the fascist state was e3erywhere in e3idence) es+ecially in the num$er of men in uniform! * thou.ua2e so * returned) instead) to ?lorence! ?rom there we went $ac2 into southern Nermany for a $rief 3isit! "eatrice and * went to.o3ernment officials and soldiers! * had decided to 3isit the town where * was $orn to see my foster +arents) with whom we had lost touch o3er the years! /owe3er) when * reached 0a+les there was news of an earth.ani.ether to Paris) where * +ic2ed u+ my mail at the American J8+ress office! %uth had ca$led) H1ou +assed $oth +arts of the $ar e8am!I (y mother and father wrote) HCome home! Ce are lonely without you!I -n the $oat returnin.e teachers had any +lace therein) the +ersistent recruiters assured me that the $rains and the ori.o3ernment) * loo2 $ac2 to the Goy * had in the +ast culture of these little cityFstates and wonder if the art and architecture of our day will e3er achie3e the $eauty of that of those earlier times! Chen * reached %ome * was more interested in the ruins of classical times than in the monuments to the li3in.ra3e of the +oet /orace and s+ent hours at the "aths of Caracalla and other ruins of anti. the 3ast array of . class) e3en thou.ely for their +riceless art treasures and was $lind to their real si.ani.irl loo2ed li2e one of %a+haelDs models! * was continually ama.htened into) an acce+tance of the idea of oneFworld .ness to throw in my lot with the wor2in.

ent adults should stru.ic! "ut we soon disco3ered to+ics of common interest) such as our lo3e for this country and an awareness of its +ro$lems! 7ohnDs family li3ed in ?loyd County) Neor.s of the 'eachers Union! * found them disconcertin.nificant! * was dumfounded to find the names of distin. se3eral te8ts on cor+oration law! #urin..uished +rofessors such as 7ohn #ewey and to marria. while California fruit was fa3ored! Chen 7ohn as2ed me to marry him) * hesitated! * had . $ecause there was so much strife $etween .randmother who had outwitted ShermanDs men when they came to her farmB of how his father had turned his land into +each orchards and how he was ruined $y railroad rate discrimination that forced Neor. +olitics) that * $ecame aware of the of myself as a freethin2er! .reat deal of 7ohn #odd whom * had met on my tri+ to Juro+e! At first it seemed we had little in common) for 7ohn had an en.ia +eaches to rot at the sidin.nificance of control of this $eachhead! CHAPTER SIX '/J C-44APSJ of the stoc2 mar2et did not immediately affect my family for we had no money in3ested in stoc2s or $onds! 'herefore it was not difficult for me to lea3e my +ost at /unter Colle.-n my return to 0ew 1or2 * went to meetin.randfather who had lost an arm at the "attle of Shiloh and of his . $efore * 3isited his home * had heard him tell the story of how his +eo+le had .one into *ndian territory and esta$lished themsel3es on the land si8ty miles from Atlanta and in the direct line of ShermanDs march! /e had told me of his . a$out a career and those were still the days when women de$ated marria.ani.e Counts in3ol3ed in the contro3ersy! *t was only later) when * $etter understood leftFwin.ineerDs mind and * was disinterested in all machinery) re.eB li2e 7ohn) * thou.le so hard to control an or. control! * did not then understand why intelli.e and a career! "ut already economic +ressures had +ushed many women into $usiness and so limited their acti3ities as homema2ers! 'he women * 2new were tal2in.ation which in num$ers was small and insi. less of homes than they were of dissertations and research! /owe3er) * +ut my dou$ts aside and we decided to .e! * was thin2in.e or a career) and not marria.e in 19 0 to ser3e a cler2shi+ for admission to the 0ew 1or2 "ar! * wor2ed at a nominal salary in the office of /oward /ilton S+ellman) who was an e8cellent lawyer and at that time was married! Ce did not +lan to $e married in a church) since 7ohn was $itterly antiFclerical! * did not mind the ci3il marria. that year * saw a .ia! 4on.rou+s see2in.ardin.i3en little thou. mechanical de3ices as a 2ind of $lac2 ma.

soldier he saw many of his comrades 2illed! /e) himself) was in a +lane crash at Melly ?ield and suffered a s+inal inGury which left him a hi.e! * was stunned $y the fury of the im+act of the de+ression on my family and those around me! * watched the line of +ale) +inched faces of +eo+le who stood $efore the closed doors of the "owery Sa3in.uad! As a and $lond) and * $eside him) small and dar2! -ur witnesses were two of my friends K "eatrice ?eldman and #r! 4ouis ?in2elstein! Chen the cler2 +ronounced us man and wife) * had a sudden sin2in. wor2ed in industrial centers) such as A2ron and #etroit) and he had seen ser3ice as a flier first in the Canadian %A? and later in the American Air ?orce! *n those days of Corld Car * ser3ice in that $ranch was tantamount to Goinin.rity of its +eo+le! 7ohn was ten years older than *! /e had had a 3ariety of e8+erience) ha3in.arette $utts from the streets! * had not $een $ac2 at /unter lon. feelin.hly ner3ous +erson! "y 19 = my family felt the results of the de+ression! (y fatherDs $usiness had come to a standstill! 7ohn) too) was meetin.rew to lo3e 7ohn more than * had thou.e *nstructors Association and * $ecame one of the leadin.ood circumstances line u+ around the $loc2 for sou+ and coffee at mission houses! * saw them furti3ely +ic2 u+ made a marria. financial difficulties! *) therefore) decided to return to my +ost at /unter Colle.a3e of a section which has .e $efore * was readyE Cas it that this ceremony was not what * had $een tau.eE * do not 2now! * do 2now that durin. a suicide s.rou+) and * was elected its re+resentati3e to the faculty council! . forces in it! Ce won concessions for this .ed why so many of its children went to 0orthern cities for a li3elihood! 7ohnDs +eo+le were not +lantation owners nor did they ha3e share cro++ers! 'hey owned a lot of land and they wor2ed it themsel3es! 'he women wor2ed as hard as the men! * 3isited some of the #odd children at the (artha "erry Schools near 7ohnDs home and * was struc2 $y the inde+endence and sturdiness of these +eo+le! 0e3er after that first 3isit did * read mor$id literature on the South without a sense of resentment at the twisted +icture it .ht * was ca+a$le of lo3in.e we went to 3isit his home! * had ne3er $een South $efore) $ut * now reali. in my heart! ChyE /ad * rushed into marria.-ne mornin. $efore * found myself in3ol3ed in discussions on the economic +ro$lems of the staff $elow +rofessorial ran2s! (any instructors and other staff mem$ers were under+aid and had no security of tenure or +romotion! Ce or. and "erlin a few years $efore! * saw men o$3iously once in .ani.reat reser3oirs of $ased not on material wealth $ut u+on the inte.s "an2 on ?ortyFSecond Street! 'hey reminded me of the an8ious faces * had seen in /am$ur. anyone! * 2new how de3oted he was to the South and its +eo+le and after our marria. in late Se+tem$er we were married at the county cler2Ds office in 0ew 1or2 City! 7ohn stood tall and strai. the ne8t months * .ed the /unter Colle.

an) an *rish Catholic and res+ecta$ilityB it led to the misread the nature of the reaction to him! Since he was $rin. enou.entleman) who headed the #e+artment of Jducation at /unter was a++ointed! #r! Mieran was a Catholic and was re.h school was loo2ed u+on as a disaster for the colle./!aire system in which the +resident selected the heads of de+artments and they in turn selected their teachers! 'hey were +ermitted the widest 2ind of latitude in their +ersonal li3es and their methods of teachin..ed antiFCatholic em$ers were fanned to flame! 'he fact that he had come from the administration of a +u$lic hi.e President #a3is) the incum$ent) was an eminently correct scholar and . the faculty $ut also from the students and from the new ty+e of city +olitics ushered in in 19 = $y the election of ?iorello 4aNuardia) which was to 0ew 1or2 City what the %oose3elt administration was to the country! 'he reco.entleman! /e was a Protestant) tolerant of all and remo3ed from all! 'he faculty was +ermitted to do +retty much as they +leased $ecause he and they $elon. students) staff) and administration! *n our from the +u$licF school system) was chosen to $e his successor) there was real consternation amon.) 3i.e the initiati3e was not ta2en $y any of the staff K and this .orous #r! from the city $ud. and'he *nstructors Association at /unter was set u+ so that the two re+resentati3es on the faculty would ha3e a .h to ma2e any chan.ation for immediate action on im+ortant .et! /e did not) howe3er) li3e lon.e in that office too9 we had a new and different ty+e of +resident now! Chen * first came to colle.eneous .eneral! At /unter it $rou. in new ideas! "ut he soon found he was u+ a.rou+s as ?riends of the So3iet Union) which was led $y en.arded $y certain mem$ers of the faculty as an unfortunate choice for +resident! "ut #r! Mieran had +owerful friends in City /all and the trustees considered him an asset in the constant stru.ainst a stone wall! /is trou$les arose not only from the old .ed to a homo.ues wished them to 3ote! *t was a new ty+e of or.e teachers K a .rou+! *t was a laisse.e in the acti3ities of the communists on our colle. the old .uard amon.ed +attern of the li$eral arts colle.e! #r! Colli.ton of the USS% $rou.orous and ha++y with his new +osition) he mo3ed immediately to esta$lish his leadershi+ there) and $e.uard! Su$mer.i3e the +resident a hard time) for there had $een a chan.ation of such .! *t was the reco.le for the finances which had to $e sou.rou+ .ed situation in the administration! Chen youn.ineers and social wor2ers and which soon e8tended to the world of art and science and to education in .e of the day! "ut President #a3is died in the later twenties) and #r! 7ohn Mieran) a 2indly old .in.ene a$out a com+letely chan.uestions of +ri3ile.e cam+us! %eco.e and one in which discussion was uninhi$ited! Some of the older mem$ers of the +rofessorial .nition in 19 = in a tremendous chan.rou+ were secretly ha++y to see a re$ellious instructorsD .uide as to how their collea.ation for colle.nition $rou.rassFroots or.ani.

eneration which had $e.rou+ who seemed to care) to $elie3e in thin.included the youn. Communist 4ea.acy of want and de+ression! 'hey were offered no .ly from nowhere or.aret Schlauch of 0ew 1or2 Uni3ersity) who arran. ?a$ians K a++eared in our midst) small dedicated $ands of youn.innin.s at which we discussed the sister /elen who later married .ani.e students had a much .ani. the cam+us) they were . this early +eriod of communistic influence on the cam+us /unter students and City were not s+rin.ueathed them a le. u+ s+ontaneouslyB some creatin.ed meetin.ood ho+e of future careers! And now) throu.h (ar. to wor2 and suffer for what they $elie3ed in and cared for! "efore lon.ue and the 4ea.ation ori.rou+ was $ehind them! "ut it was true that the student answer was s+ontaneous and 3ery immediate! Suddenly there had a++eared on the indifferent cam+us a student . teachers! -ne hears a .ht of the intellectuals! 'he men and women . to do somethin. they had infected the entire student $ody! At the time * was dee+ in the stru.ation of the *nstructors Association and we were soon a++roached $y re+resentati3es from the other city colle.reat deal a$out the influence of teachers on their students! #urin.ation arose! Nrou+s of the 1oun. +eo+le 9 /oward Selsam) now head of the 7efferson School of Social ScienceB (ar. us! "ut communist students went into action and $efore lon.ations K and which was) indeed) to +ro3ide acti3e men and women for the mass mo3ements of the ne8t twenty years! -thers had heard of our successful or.ether included many a$le youn. *sland Uni3ersity) and the city and seemin.9 these! 'he a++roach came throu. emer. .inatin. had a tremendous im+act on these same youn.athered to.ed 3ery slowly $ut it was this9 they were unconsciously $e.rou+ was a++roached $y a .s) to $e willin.h this new ho+e that was teachers K for we had no 2nown mem$ers of the Communist Party amon.aret Schlauch) today a +rofessor in the Uni3ersity of CracowB her youn.ani. +eo+le! 'his soon led to mass .ht to meet on the cam+usB if +ermission was not .ue for *ndustrial #emocracy K an or.rou+s of students who $ of 0ew 1or2 City! Almost immediately this cityFwide .es! Ce held many meetin.s which included re+resentati3es of Colum$ia) 4on.reat 2inshi+ with these students! 'hey were the Hde+ression $a$iesI who were now determined to ta2e matters into their own hands! 'hey were contem+tuous of the +re3ious .es for hel+! 'he result was a committee amon. to ally themsel3es with the +roletariat) with the wor2ers! And from this was $orn the intellectual +roletariat which in the ne8t years was to $e the $ac2$one of hundreds of communist clamorin. for the ri.oin.le of the instructors for a modicum of economic security) and * felt a .reater effect on the teachers! Almost o3erni.ani. the efforts of the instructors in all the munici+ally owned colle.rou+ from the +ri3ate colle. to hel+ themsel3es! Chat they were doin. in Jn.ani.ranted) they met outside and +rotested 3ery loudly! * was 3ery conscious of one thin..

atherin.ation was shortFli3ed! 'o re+lace it (ar..s at (ar.e +eo+le were $rou.s (ar.e how the wheels within wheels mo3ed $ut * did feel somethin.s $earin. new had come into the +icture! Stran. a .ood Go$ and a comforta$le a+artment! So mo3ed was * that * +ressed on her all the money * had with me! /arriet su.aretDs house should or. to do with the colle. and other $oo2s on sociolo.e teachers were insi.ether we +lanned to form the American Association of Uni3ersity 'eachers to fi.y and la$or! 'here was nothin.els) Stalin) "im$aDs +istory o! t%e 1abor Movement.e the Scotts$oro Case! 4i2e herself) he was) * learned later) an international a.ic cloa2) and it transformed her! She +ro3ed a different sort of +erson from those * had met in or. +am+hlets) and raisin. in Poland! Sidney /oo2 stayed with the .rou+ of colle.ani.e an antifascist literature committee for the +ur+ose of doin.e teachers . a lar.ani.aret $rou.h the rest of us were all teachers and colle..nificant! She made me feel ashamed of ha3in.*nfels (an associate of Al$ert Jinstein) who is also teachin.round mo3ement to the little .ures had nothin. +eo+le of the world! Suddenly * felt that my efforts to increase salaries for a few colle.e +icture of 4enin) dra+ed with %ed fla.liness) $ut she carried this air of authority li2e a ma.led me out almost from the first! At her in3itation * +romised to 3isit her at her home! Chen she stood u+ to .ation! * did not then reali.hts to reach it! 'he room had a cloistered atmos+hereB it was lined with $oo2shel3es on which * noticed 4eninDs com+lete wor2s) Marl (ar8) Jn.ether the remnants of the .an to enlist our .ested that the only of the for the $readandF$utter issues of the lower ran2s of fascism!I .e +ersonnel! ?or some un2nown reason this or. the hammer and sic2le! /arriet was ill the ni.e em+loyees) the new fi.rou+ and +ro+osed a new ty+e of or.ent of the world communist mo3ement! /arriet * 3isited her! She sat in an old flannel $athro$e and tal2ed with intensity of +lans to rema2e the world! * was im+ressed $y the fact that she was not concerned a$out her own +o3erty) and thou.rou+ in the stru.rou+ a short while) and then left! 'o.athered at ( an emaciated woman who tal2ed a$out the under. tri3ial there! * noted no +oetry! -n one wall! 'hey $e.ainst fascism! She s+o2e with an air of authority! Cithout it /arriet Sil3erman would ha3e seemed +lain to the +oint of u.aretDs house and thou.ainst fascism! 'o one of the meetin.dahl) who was then in Juro+e to +ro+a.aret Schlauch called to.ational wor2! She tal2ed a$out the man she called her hus$and) a man named Jn. funds! She told me fran2ly she was a Communist! H*Dm not afraid of la$els)I * re+lied! H*Dd Goin the de3il himself to fi. research) writin.ani.ani.le a.o * loo2ed at her thread$are tweed coat) her sha+eless hat) and * was mo3ed $y her e3ident sense of dedication! She was the new ty+e of ascetic of our day) a ty+e * was to find +re3alent in the Communist Party! She li3ed in a small remodeled a+artment on the Jast Side and * clim$ed four stee+ fli.

s K of our antiFfascist committee) its +art in the fi.e teachers who came to these increasin.uests) and there were always a few functionaries of the Party) li2e /arriet) thread$are and with an ascetic and dedicated air that made the rest of us feel how much more they must $e .uiet) thou.ray hair he was e8actly li2e the +o+ular conce+t of a +rofessor in a small (idwest colle.eoisie! -ther communist ty+es also came) such as men and women in the arts F ele3ator! A$out the whole sha$$y $uildin.uarters in 'welfth Street! Chen /arriet and * went there we were ta2en u+ to the ninth floor in what was more a frei. than we) the +etty $our.htful face and shoc2 of .s of the AntiF?ascist 4iterature Committee we 2new there were Communists in our midst) $ut it was considered $ad form to as2 .e! Ce tal2ed a$out 3arious thin. us .anda! 4ittle $y little the colle.uic2ly as2ed) HCould you li2e to meet Jarl "rowderEI * re+lied in the affirmati3e) and we made an a++ointment to meet him the! Jarl "rowder did not loo2 as * had e8+ected the leader of the Communist Party to loo2! Cith his .oodF$y with a friendly smile! At the meetin.Chen * as2ed /arriet how the money contri$uted to the antiFfascist cause was distri$uted) she said) H'hrou. our new .anda in return for cash! 'o these .uestions) and they +ut on an ela$orate dis+lay of non+artisanshi+) +erha+s to condition the rest of us! -ur committee did write se3eral +am+hlets) $ut the im+ortant and social affairs at my home where we dis+ensed refreshments and clu$s or theaters and added a touch of .ht a. wee2 at the communist dedication! *t was a call to action of the innocents K and e3en today * do not 2now how many of them were amon.ainst tyranny) of the necessity of $ein. many wellFdressed) so+histicated Communists! 'here were doctors and lawyers and $usinessmen than a +assen. meetin.s felt the need of a lar.s /arriet $e.i3in.ed for meetin. cam+ai.round! She could always lessen tension and resol3e dou$ts $y some sim+le remar2 in her culti3ated tones! 'o carry out the wor2 of the AntiF?ascist 4iterature Committee * em$ar2ed on a fundF raisin. the innocents! Sometimes when we . we did was to raise thousands of dollars for the cause and to s+read its +ro+a.rew e8cited) and when dou$ts came) (ar.ers) musicians) dancers) who 3isited us $etween acts at ni.n su+er3ised $y /arriet Sil3erman! * arran. on friendly terms with all nations which o++osed fascism! *t was a friendly) +leasant tal2 and when we left) Jarl "rowder went to the ele3ator with us) $iddin.atherin.lamor! .ly interestin. * felt the same atmos+here of dedicated +o3erty that * had found in /arriet in her dra$ clothes and the dra$ tenement in which she li3ed! *t was definitely of the +eo+le and for the +eo+le) * $rin.h the Party and its contacts!I * may ha3e loo2ed s2e+tical) for she .aret would raise her cool 3oice) which was as +rim and +ro+er as was her #!A!%! $ac2.

eois elements was another .ed e8citement! "ut to Paddy freedom meant a . to defend it with his fists! * dou$t whether Paddy would lon. oil and he with her! /ow . $efore merchant shi+s had con3oys or antiFaircraft .nity a handFmeFdown $lac2 der$y and an o3ercoat which reached his heels! At his head. cler2s) and sailors! 'he youn.ali.rou+ on a +ro.ed with the American to meet some odd and interestin. with the real forces of life! *n this ru$$in. of el$ows of Ph!#!s and +lum$ersD hel+ers there was a le3elin. $lac2 eyes! /e dran2 too much and ate too little! *n his way) he was dedicated to the la$or mo3ement) ha3in.shoremen) +ainters) +lum$ers) shi++in..(in.ue elements amon. to ha3e to 2ill him $ecause he would immediately +roceed to unma2e it!I 'hey did not ha3e to 2ill himB another +ower did that! Chen Corld Car ** came) Paddy did not see2 Hunion immunityIB he enlisted lon.nition of the So3iet Union! Paddy Chalen came from the (iddle Cest! -nce a Catholic) he ar. of distinctions! 'he common .oin. with this . of +artici+atin.led with these $our.round on which we met was that the +ast of society had $een $ad) the +resent was corru+tB and the future would $e worth while only if it $ecame collecti3e! Unem+loyed councils were $ein.uarters he inter3iewed the +ress and they found him .ani.e in the hearts of his dis+ossessed citi.ue) which had or.rou+! 'hese were the real +roletarians K lon.ram of their own they were drawn into the 3orte8 of the wellFinte.rou+ of Communists who lent a different 2ind of .ed the $onus march to Cashin.ens! /e made them see themsel3es as a $and of %o$in /oods and not as reGected failures! *n the +rocess of +re+arin. the Communists of that era! /e was a little *rishman) the mayor of /oo3ers3ille as they named this town of shanties o3er on the 7ersey flats! /e had +iercin.lamor to the assem$led . colle.ani.ued doctrine with +riests yet $e.reat deal! /e was willin.ed hel+ for stri2ers from men of all faiths! As mayor of a +athetic hea+ of $o8es and tins) he wore with .s were . a country for re3olution the Communist Party tries to enlist the masses! *t see2s to enlist the unattached +eo+le) for they ha3e little to lose and are the first to ca+itulate to or. ha3e ser3ed the communist world +lan of sla3ery! * heard one Party leader say of him9 H/e is a wonderful comrade to hel+ ma2e a re3olution $ut after it is successful we are .ood co+y! Sometimes) * su++ose) he +ut fresh coura. set u+ on a countrywide $asis! *n 0ew 1or2 the J8F Ser3icemenDs 4ea. characters! Perha+s Paddy Chalen $est re+resented the +ictures.rated) wellF financed mo3ement which was suddenly le.reat di.ton) was es+ecially acti3e! *n wor2in.uns for defense! /is shi+ went down in $urnin.ed communist mo3ement! Cithout a +ositi3e +ro. $y the cyclonic fury of the or.ani.ram for relief and social security * $e.e instructors who were the ostensi$le s+onsors of these meetin.i3en a feelin. once $een an *CC) a mo3ement which had su++osedly the o++osite aims of communism! "ut in the early thirties all the +eo+le who were in unorthodo8 mo3ements or who had lost their ties with society) whether muc2ra2ers) syndicalists) anarchists) or socialists) were +ulled alon.

reat family welcomed them as mem$ers! * often mar3eled at the sacrifices made $y these Communist Party mem$ers! *n my classes at /unter were 1oun.irl) an or.le +hiloso+hy! 'hey were a disci+lined $and secretly associated with the 'rade Union Unity 4ea.ed while the conser3ati3e or. of classes) their sacrifice of academic youn.ed minority o++osition to the +re3ailin.s on lower ?ifth A3enue where * met to+ e8ecuti3es of the soF called Class %oom 'eachers Association! -stensi$ly this was a .er of the unem+loyed and a leader of mass demonstrations! /elen 4ynch was tu$ercular) $ut she ne3er sto++ed wor2in.nF$orn) and the racial and reli.ed on the $asis of the classFstru.e num$er of su$stitute teachers who were hired $y the "oard of Jducation at a low daily wa.uers who would .he would ha3e u+ in the Party either from need or desire! 'hey included the unem+loyed councils) the fi.ani.ations were too ine+t to act! .ue led $y Cilliam Q! ?oster! 'he Class %oom 'eachers had two tas2s9 to con3ert a considera$le num$er of teachers to a re3olutionary a++roach to +ro$lems) and to recruit for the Communist Party as many mem$ers as +ossi$le! Some of these teachers were also mem$ers of the 'eachers Union 4ocal < of the American ?ederation of 'eachers and therein they formed an or.ues of mass action and were carefully or.o without lunch to $uy +a+er and in2 and other items for +ro+a.ani. to fulfill some tas2 assi.rassFroots mo3ement of teachers) $ut they were $ein.ainst fascism) the forei.hed to see the No3ernment) at the insistence of his union and the communist +ress) name a li$erty shi+ after himL ?or the Party was a$le to ma2e use e3en of his memory to entra+ others! 'here were many others $esides Paddy who were cau.athered money to +ay the rent of some comrade! 'his sort of +ersonal aid did much to o3ercome the doctrinaire aridity of orders $y the Hfunctionaries)I the title . for the Party until she died! 'hen the Communists claimed her as a martyr! *t was true that it was an infectious thin.e teachers! Soon * was in3ited $y a num$er of communist teachers to attend meetin.hters a.e year in and year out! -n such issues the %ed or.i3en the $ureaucrats) the s2eleton staff which stands ready to ta2e o3er when the %e3olution comes to +ass! At /unter * continued acti3e in the *nstructors Association to $etter the economic conditions of the colle. tau. Communist 4ea.ani.ned them) were sad to see! * saw colle.uent cuttin.anda leaflets! 'heir emaciated faces made my heart ache! 'heir halfhearted +artici+ation in their studies) their fre.e .i3e +u$licity to the $readFandF$utter +ro$lems acute at the time! 'here were many unem+loyed teachers in the city and a lar. +eo+le with a desire for sacrifice! * remem$er es+ecially an *rish HCatholicI .ani..ious minorities who came under its s+ell! J3en today * can understand the attraction it had for the intellectual +roletariat! *t was as if a .ation ca+itali.) this comradeshi+) for so often it hel+ed in dire need such as %ent Parties where Communists .ani.irls e8+loited $y cold Party hac2s! 'hey were e8+enda$le) and in their +laces would come other wideFeyed) the techni. noncommunist leadershi+! 4i2e all %ed unions of the early thirties) the Class %oom 'eachers Association hel+ed .

s the Communists did and then reGect their o$Gecti3es! *t was a nai3e idea and many of us were nai3e! *t too2 a lon.o alon. and 4in3ille! 'eachers such as Celia 4ewis) Clara %icher) and (a8 #iamond emer.hth Street she s+o2e $itterly a$out my new affiliations! H1ou are . to ha3e them in the Union) it $ecame clear that $efore lon.e! (ost of all * res+ected the way they fou. the unem+loyed teachers and for the for.ood thin. anythin. and * finally said9 H-h) %uth) * am only interested in the +resent! Chat the Communist Party says a$out the future is not im+ortant to me! 'he sanity of the American +eo+le will assert itself! "ut these +eo+le are a$out the only ones who are doin.rateful for communist su++ort in the stru.ettin. +eo+le to $e used! And the Party did use this mass of anonymous +eo+le for its immediate +ur+oses! . with the .ht one could . the 'eachers Union would $e controlled $y the %eds! * did not $ecome a Communist o3erni.htin. down Si8tyFei.'he Class %oom 'eachers sent mass dele.Fran.ani. time for me to 2now that once you march with them there is no easy return! * learned o3er the years that if you stum$led from weariness they had no time to +ic2 u+ a fallen comrade! 'hey sim+ly marched o3er him! 'he saddest situation * saw in the Party were the hundreds of youn.les of the *nstructors Association! * admired the selfless dedication of many who $elon.ainst the officials of the city and Gi$ed at the thenFres+ecta$le 'eachers Union under the leadershi+ of with them a$out the Hdictatorshi+ of the +roletariatI which they tal2ed a$out) or a$out its im+lications! -f course some of my friends were unha++y a$out my new course! -ne day when %uth Noldstein and * were wal2in.ed to the Party! 'hey too2 me into their fraternal circle and made me feel at home! * was not interested in any lon.uin.ed as leaders of the %ed minority within the A! ?! of 4! 'eachers Union! "y or. a$out the rotten conditions of today! 'hat is why * am with them) and)I * ended truculently) H* will stay with them!I -f course * was not the only American who! *t came a little at a time! * had $een conditioned $y my education and association to acce+t this materialistic +hiloso+hy! 0ow came new reasons for acce+tance! * was .hed at her! H-h) %uth) you are too concerned a$out +romotions and tenures! 'here are other thin.e Party o$Gecti3es $ut * did welcome their assistance on immediate issues) and * admired them for their coura. too in3ol3ed) "ella)I she said! H1ou will .s in life!I HChat a$out this oneF+arty system that they fa3orEI she demanded! HCell) you 2now we really ha3e only a oneF+arty system in America now)I * retorted! H%emem$er the /ar3ard +rofessor who says that $oth +olitical +arties resem$le em+ty $ottles with different la$elsEI %uth continued ar.ations to the "oard of Jducation! *t issued attac2s a.otten man of the city! So * did not hurt! Cait and seeLI * lau.

ular mem$er! Chen * of the Party) of course) is deri3ed from this 3ery ruthlessness in e8+loitin.s! /arriet would .h$ors) Christo+her (cNrath) now the Surro.ani.y the Party $e.a3e me orders! -ne day * ran $y chance into one of our nei.ation of wor2ers who were li2ewise $ein.uite willin.e teachersD tenure which he +romised to introduce the followin.reed to do so * learned to my sur+rise that /arriet Sil3erman had +ut a sto+ to it! * was her contactB she said she had ta2en the matter u+ with Hthe centerI and it was decided * was not to Goin! * must riot $e seen at secret Party . thin.atherin.le to to re+resent in my thin2in.ed in dou$le! * was sur+rised at the s+eed of this and e3en more at the s+eed with which word of the $ill . was the way * was now loo2ed u+ to on my cam+us! *n those days teachers were far .e cam+us! Soon afterward * was called down to President Colli. he was married and was chairman of the Jducation Committee of the Assem$ly for that year! Ce chatted a$out old times) and * as2ed his aid with our instructors! /e was willin.e the la$or mo3ement in America) $y analo.s willin. +eo+le! -n 3arious occasions * was a++roached to Goin the Party as a re. it! /owe3er) * reluctantly acce+ted disci+line! Since * 2new somethin. to hel+! -f course he 2new nothin.ot around the /unter Colle. hounded $y men of wealth and +ower! * could not at that time 2now) as * did later) how men of wealth use the communist mo3ement to $end wor2ers to their will! So * . necessary $ecause of the $rutality and sa3a.ani. of my communist sym+athy! 0e8t day at his office we drafted a $ill on colle.anDs office and learned that our $ill had .ed world +ower! /arriet $rou.ate of "ron8 County! * remem$ered him as a $oy on our street who had +ulled my hair when * was a child! At the time of this chance meetin.reed with the Party the $est way to show it was $y Goinin. +eo+le were $urned out $efore they could reach maturity! "ut * saw) too) how ine8hausti$le was the su++ly of human $ein.ani.! *t seemed to me that if * a.ery of the wor2in. * must $e sa3ed for real tas2s and must not at this time $e e8+osed! So * $ecame not a mem$er of an idealistic .Fclass enemies! * soon learned that the mem$ers e8+osed to the +u$lic were not the im+ortant Communists! /arriet consoled me a$out my status in relation to the Party) sayin. an or.i3en tenure to e3ery$ody on the staff e8ce+t the PresidentL Ce rewor2ed the $ill and e3entually the new form satisfied the President) too) and now included +rofessors) instructors) and other colle.And so me literature) too2 the financial contri$utions * collected) ado+ted the clichOs a$out secrecy $ein.i3e me (ar8ist literature and my instructions! * was not to $e 2nown as a Communist! * had ne3er indul. to $e sacrificed! (uch of the stren. (onday ni.e +ersonnel! "ut the interestin. of the stru.rou+ of which * was +roud) $ut the tool of a secret) wellFor.

ations of colle.islati3e re+resentati3e! * was +roud of the assi.rou+ and the comrades fou.islation was +endin. +erfectionists was to $ecome a common e8+erience in communist lifeB re+orts and resolutions were always +re+ared $y a .ht a$out amendments! 'his matter of ha3in.remo3ed from the le.islati3e re+resentati3e of the 'eachers Union! * s+ent much of my time in Al$any) in Cashin.ot their first e8+erience in +ractical +olitics with teachersD district clu$s! At this time * $ecame one of the 'eachers Union dele.nment! * was youn.e (eany was le.arded as a le. and idealistic and ea. with the communist section of the P'A and se3eral student or.) * called on my own ca+tains to +ut +ressure on recalcitrant re+resentati3es! 'he Communist Party was +leased) and later it +romoted to im+ortant +ositions with the American 4a$or Party) which it controlled) many of the teachers who .er to ser3e the wor2ers! * now $ecame a mem$er of the Communist Party HfractionI in the A!?! of 4! .ued until late into the ni.e teachers! * had some stormy sessions in my home with communist re+resentati3es from the three city colle.ot a si8Fmonth lea3e of a$sence from the Colle.e $loc for +olitical +ressure! Ce added further stren.islati3e re+resentati3e of the 'eachers Union 4ocal <! * was now an officer of an A!?! of 4! union and for this reason more im+ortant to the Party! CHAPTER SEVEN *0 '/J SP%*0N of 19 6 * ..ton) and at City /all in 0ew 1or2! * was successful in ha3in. to ar.ations! Cith these to su++ort cam+ai.ed this $loc on an assem$lyFdistrict $asis with teacherFunion ca+tains in char.reatly increased! * or.ic! 'he fi.ue with! Ce ar.rowin.ani. educational +ressure o3er each word so as to achie3e an e8actitude of +olitical e8+ression! /owe3er) as a result of our com$ined efforts) the tenure $ill was +assed and the Goint *nstructors Associations held a 3ictory luncheon at the ?ifth A3enue /otel! 'he $ill was si.ates to the A!?! of 4! Central 'rades and 4a$or Council of 0ew 1or2! Chen * first went to "eetho3en /all on Jast ?ifth Street) 7ose+h %yan was +resident and Neor. in unem+loyed teachers) su$stitute teachers) and CPA teachers! 'hese made a lar.e to ser3e as the le.islati3e e8+ert! (y success ser3ed to cata+ult me into a new +ost) that of le.rou+! Cith the Communists in control) the 0ew 1or2 'eachers Union e8+anded its mem$ershi+ rolls $y to +ass this $ill .e of each district! Chen le.ani. two Union $ills +assed and the Union was well +leased! * now re+resented a .th to it $y +rocess and 2new little of it and re.ned in due course $y No3ernor 4ehman! * now found myself re.arded it as a $eneficent 2ind of $lac2 ma.ns) my acti3ity in +olitics was .a3e new im+etus to the citywide or.

.ainst the shi+owners! 'o . seamen with their demands for a reor.a3e me the +etition and $riefed me! 'here was full attendance inside the hallB the leadershi+ e8+ected trou$le! Chen the a.htin. a mo3ement) re. im+ortant that ni.a3el the old leadershi+ of the *!S!U! 'hese insur.!I Pandemonium $ro2e loose! 'he chairman hit his .ain and * was escorted home $y a . to many unions! *n 19 6 * met) throu. the Communist Party was the first re.le for a worthy cause ena$led the Party to $uild emotional and or.ies to A!?! of 4! unions! 'hey attracted new followers $y militant su++ort of le. seamen who) under the leadershi+ of the Communist Party) were fi. $oth the shi+owners and the corru+t leadershi+ of the old *!S!U!) an affiliate of the A!?! of 4! A ran2FandFfile mo3ement was assistance from the Central 'rades and 4a$or Council! 'hey wanted to +resent their .ot the floor! 'o disarm the o++osition * tal2ed first a$out democracy in unions and then * announced $reathlessly9 H* here$y +resent the +etition of the stri2in.ates who feared * suffer $odily harm! "ut the +ress .ed $y their union) a.ularly with the Communist Party mem$ers of the A!?! of 4! and the leaders of the Party in order to +ush A!?! of 4! +olicy toward the communist line! 'he Party maintained an acti3e fraction in la$or .nition from 7oe %yan and .enda of the meetin.ani. the teachers $y $ecomin. seamen! *n the interest of union democracy they are entitled to a hearin.reed to coo+erate thou.ed core of wor2ers) trained $y ?oster) turned their ener.ed a.ed la$or they! * found that acts of darin.ani.rou+ of the communist dele.h * was only +artly aware of the im+lications! * met the committee of seamen outside "eetho3en /all! 7ose+h Curran and a num$er of other seamen .ates of the cityDs or.ot the story of the seamenDs demands and +rinted it! Ce had accom+lished our mission! * learned somethin.ation of their union alon.) su++orted $y the a++earances of moral Gustification) ha3e a terrific im+act in $uildin.ents were led $y 7ose+h Curran and "lac2ie (yers) who immediately started a stri2e) unauthori.islation for the unem+loyed! 'his stru.ers! 'hat ni. democratic lines! * a.ain some su++ort from or.ani.uidated $y the Communist *nternational! 'he radicali.rou+s) includin.'his meant that * would meet re.ardless of whether or not you win! 'his is a fact the Communists 2now how to use! -f course * was hardly re+resentin.rie3ances $efore dele. had $een co3ered) * as2ed for reco.ational ties with wor2ers $elon. the A!?! of 4! *n 19 4 the %ed unions under the title 'UU4) led $y Cilliam Q! ?oster) had $een ordered li.h the Party) committees of the stri2in. in3ol3ed in matters which were of no immediate concern to my union! "ut * had learned that ser3in.uisite for continued leadershi+ in my union! .ed la$or $ody! * was summoned $y the Communist Party and told * had $een selected to +resent to the Central 'rades a +etition of the stri2in.ain) so hard that it finally flew from his fin.

the la$or 3ote in 0ew 1or2 for President %oose3elt! 'he Communists +led. of the American 4a$or Party) +resuma$ly as a method of solidifyin.ainst the esta$lished machine! "ut this) too) was a communist tactic) for Communists ha3e no hesitation whate3er in $rin.ressi3eI $loc at the State ?ederation con3ention that year decided to run me for a +osition in the State ?ederation of 4a$or! *t seems ridiculous to me now that one so newly come to the la$or mo3ement should ha3e $een +ushed forward a.nments were made to indi3idual dele. the +ower of the o++osition! 'he H+ro.ed! At first * did not understand the slo. their conditions is in re3olution! A.rou+s! 'hey went +re+ared) or.ate to the State ?ederation of 4a$or con3ention at Syracuse! 'he Communists and some of the li$eral unions were determined to +ass a resolution endorsin..h reforms! * learned that unions which followed a reformist +olicy were .e the two maGor +arties! As * saw it the stru.ani.?rom my tutors in the Party * learned many communist lessons! * learned that 4enin held in contem+t unions interested only in economic $etterment of wor2ers) $ecause he held that the li$eration of the wor2in.ed) trained) and disci+lined with a +ro.le on the floor of the State ..ani.ani.ed!I 'heir feelin.le! 'hat year * was elected as dele. and destroyin.uic2ly and the some$odies * heard 7ac2 Stachel and ?oster and lesser Communist Party la$or leaders re+eat that American wor2ers need to $e H+oliticali.ain $ecome no$odies! "y 19 6 +lans had already $een made $y im+ortant forces in Cashin.ton for the mind e8+ected the A!?! of 4! to mo3e as a $loc into an inde+endent la$or +arty! 'he +ur+ose was to radicali. in 0ew 1or2 in +re+aration for this con3ention! Ce went o3er the resolutions to $e introduced and the o$Gecti3es to $e achie3ed!! 'hey wor2ed in e3ery con3ention as an fre.le and to con3ince wor2ers that their only ho+e of im+ro3in..rou+s had a chance to thin2 the Communists were ad3anta.ned to +rotect Communist Party interests! 'hese Hslee+ersI were acti3e mem$ers in noncommunist $locs for the +ur+ose of hamstrin.ed their total su++ort! -f course) no one in his ri.uilty of the (ar8ist crime of Heconomism!I * learned that trade unions are useful only insofar as they could $e used +olitically to win wor2er acce+tance of the theory of class stru.ed $loc! *n other the wor2er to acce+tance of the class stru.edI and H+roletariani. was that the American wor2er was not conscious of his class role $ecause he was too comforta$le! *n line with this * saw senseless stri2es called or +rolon. un2nown +eo+le forward into leadershi+) the more callow or illFe.e) they also dro+ them Gust as .ain and a.uided $y the Party! 'he wea2er they are) the more certainly they will carry out the PartyDs wishes! Suddenly and dramatically the Communist Party ma2es some$odies out of no$odies! *f tactics chan.uently +roclaimed $y these men9 HJ3ery defeat is a 3ictory!I 4oss of salary) or +osition) or e3en loss of life was not im+ortant as lon. as it $rou. class would not come throu. the formation of a 4a$or Party! * attended the Communist Party fraction meetin.ram wor2ed out in detail) and $efore other .ed $locs the Communists had Hslee+ers)I assi.ui++ed the $etter) since they will therefore more easily $e .ates! 'his use of fractions made the Communist Party effecti3e in noncommunist .e the wor2ers of 0ew 1or2 and +araly.

ued that it was more im+ortant for them to hold their +ositions than to $e used for mere o++osition +ur+oses! 'he leadershi+ of the 'eachers Union was not affected $y a fear of losin. our cause for salaries and wor2in.e strate.ani.e to leadershi+ in the 'eachers Union in my day! "ut this steady use of the 'eachers Union $y the Communist Party in the city) in the state) and at times e3en in the national A!?! of 4! $rou. to accede to re.) who had re+resented the Union for many years) was $itter o3er $ein.ani.ates $ut also of many of the re+resentati3es of li$eral unions! *t did not matter to the Party leader) who masterminded this acti3ity from a hotel room at the con3ention) that * was fearful my action mi. them for 2ey +ositions in 3ital industries and for lon.ainst coFo+eratin.enerally $etter informed a$out current Party writin. sacrificed e3en $y the Party! 'hese ar.islators a. Go$sB the tenure law for +u$lic schoolteachers was now effecti3e! 'herefore) the Party leaders found it e8+edient to use the teacher leaders in the A!?! of 4! as the s+earhead of A!?! of 4! wor2! *n addition teachers were .ot the 3ote not only of the communist dele.y! *n addition there were Communists occu+yin.s and were $etter dis+osed to follow the Party line than the oldFtime communist union leaders who were ham+ered $y the fact that they had to .ram! *n 19 6 the communist hold on the A!?! of 4! in 0ew 1or2 State was slim! 'he Party was afraid to e8+ose wellF+laced comrades in the A!?! of 4! a++aratus) reser3in. them to a +arty +resuma$ly of their own as does the "ritish 4a$or Party! (y nomination for office in the state A!?! of 4! .ed la$or to achie3e our +ro.eI la$or unions $y tyin.ed la$or! *t was well recei3ed! 'hou. im+ortant +ositions in the unions who enGoyed their union H+ie cardI +ositions) and they o$Gected to $ein. the $ result in re+risals a.i3e consideration to the $readFandF$utter issues for their unions! 'hen) too) the teacher re+resentati3es were not affected $y a desire to +reser3e H+ie cardI +ositions since there was no material ad3anta. of the Communist Party! * found that he had +re+ared for my a++earance $y announcin. conditions $efore city and state le.islati3e $odies! Ce de+ended on su++ort from or.h * was defeated) as the Communists had e8+ected) * recei3ed considera$le su++ort! * . to e3eryone that * was a Communist and he had warned the le. with me! .?ederation con3ention was to launch the idea of a 4a$or Party to H+oliticali.a3e me an o++ortunity to ma2e a +assionate +lea for inde+endent +olitical action $y or.uests for assistance from the 'eachers Union! Chen * a++eared in Al$any in the fall of 19 6 as the le. re+laced $y a neo+hyte who was doin.islati3e re+resentati3e of the 'eachers Union) * found * had a hard time ahead of me! #r! 4ef2owit.Fran.ainst the 'eachers Union which des+erately needed A!?! of 4! su++ort! -urs was a union without Go$ control and our acti3ities were limited to re+risals from A!?! of 4! leaders! 'hey $ecame colder and more unwillin.

in front of the closed doors of the "owery .ram +o+ulari. more teachers into the Union! * set to wor2 with a will! * culti3ated assem$lymen and senators! * studied their districts and learned what +ro$lems faced them in elections! * held meetin.ationB and that it is easier to control a small or. had $een there $efore me! * was met with stony +oliteness! * a.ain wondered why there should $e such $itter feelin.h * was at a decided disad3anta.ent! * felt e8cited as * marched with se.ation! * made o3ertures to the leader of the Goint Committee of 'eachers -r.arded as ine3ita$le! 'his went far $eyond A!?! of 4! +olicy of those days! 'hou. to indul.reed and corru+tion! *t was also an affirmation of my $elief that a $etter world could $e created! None now was the +ain which had mo3ed me in the earlier years of the 19 0Ds) when * saw crowds of whiteFfaced +eo+le standin.ani.h she was not +art of the A!?! of 4!) she had stron.1 went to the A!?! of 4! le.s with 3oters in their districts! * made many friends amon.! 'heir real +ur+ose was to ha3e the +ro.ed! * had a H. * as2ed for another lea3e of a$sence) $ut this time * had to a++eal to (ayor ?iorello 4aNuardia to inter3ene for me with the "oard of 'rustees to o$tain it! 'he (ayor was a friend of mine and at that time willin.ani. the le.ani.islati3e +ro.islators! *n the fall of that year * went $ac2 to my classes at /unter! "y the followin.ram and the Party comrades had assured me they did not e8+ect me to . connections with their city and state leadershi+! Ce did not recei3e the wholehearted su++ort of the A!?! of 4! $ecause the 'eachers Union in America was $asically +roFsocialist and su++orted an educational system intended to +re+are children for the new economic collecti3ist system which we re.e in Al$any) * was not easily discoura.ations) the conser3ati3e association of the 0ew 1or2 City teachers! (ay Andres /ealey 2new the 0ew 1or2 schools and the 0ew 1or2 +olitical scene! She was endowed with +olitical shrewdness! Chen * went to see her she e8+ressed herself in no uncertain terms a$out the 'eachers Union! She did not $elie3e in unions for teachers) she said $riefly! *t was too $ad to ha3e her a.islati3e office on South /aw2 Street to tal2 with (r! /anley) $ut #r! 4ef2owit. s+rin.e teachers! * was one of them! * had) in fact) $een selected to lead the teacher contin.ainst .ainst me) for thou.uestion are Gust as effecti3e with a small as with a lar.ani. a$out the control of a relati3ely small or.ationB its total mem$ershi+ in 19 6 was under three thousand! * was to learn in the years to come that those who see2 to influence +u$lic o+inion on any .ed and to use this as a means of recruitin.ed la$or! 'his was my .oodI le.esture of defiance a.e me! *n the (ay #ay +arade of 19 6 more than fi3e hundred teachers marched with the Communists! 'hese included many +assed the $ills we were s+onsorin.ani.e or.ments of or.

with +roletarian comrades) new and ali3e! Cith the others * went from one .ious effort was made $y the Party in su++ort of the S+anish Ci3il Car) and this continued until 19 9! Perha+s no other acti3ity aroused . +atrons had .e had ta2en +lace in America! (illions of +eo+le formerly re. many +eo+le to the acce+tance of communism) $y +osin. we had reached one of the intimate little ni.ree in conditionin.ic years of 19 = to 19 4! -n the whole a tremendous chan.hth A3enue) throu.ate! Ce were tired $y that time and willin.! 'oday * mar3el that the world communist mo3ement was a$le to $eat the drums a.e teachers) Gu$ilant $ecause of this min. a.anda machine .s) sin.rou+ the Communist Party $rou. American intellectuals! Since 19 = the Communist Party had +u$lici.i3e e8+ression to that hate $y defiance! (any of these new +roletarians marched that (ay #ay down Ji. to identify themsel3es with the +roletariat! -nly emotion could ha3e $ound us to.ious sensi$ilities until it succeeded to an ama.ical su++ort! *t sa3ed their +ride $y $lamin.ether $y a sense of loss and a fear of future insecurity! Chen the +arade dis$anded) the colle.ed into the comradeshi+ of the dis+ossessed! 'o +eo+le of this .ood Go$s as well as crac2+ots and +sycho+aths and some of lifeDs misfits! " +sycholo.innin. .roomed $y the Party as la$or leaders) intellectuals) men and women of the middle class who were $e.Sa3in.e teachers had come a lon.rou+ to another that e3enin.innin.arded as middle class found themsel3es on relief or on CPA and had $een mer.a3e them somethin.! "y the early mornin.h streets lined with slum $uildin. the economic system for their trou$les and it .rou+ 2new well9 that some of the same .ain the son.rou+ em$raced serious wor2ers with . in a Communist (ay #ay +arade! Ce felt +art of! 1e shall $e all!I 'hese men and women who marched were drawn to. way $y marchin.arden where we dran2 $eer and san.arette $utts from city streets or when * saw sou+ lines at the mission doors! *n 19 6 +eo+le had a little more money than in those tra. de.ainst Nermany and ne3er once $etray what the inner .athered at a $eer .s "an2! None was the shame * felt when * saw wellF$red men furti3ely +ic2 u+ ci.ed itself as the leadin. o++onent of fascism! *t had used the emotional a++eal of antiFfascism to $ clu$s which the Communist Party financed and where Party +eo+le were wont to con.s of the wor2ers! Ce colle. with the +romise) H1e ha3e $een nau.ether) for our .reater de3otion amon.) HArise) ye +risoners of star3ation) Arise) ye wretched of the earth)I and we continued our own cele$ration! Ce were a mi8ed . to hate! *t also made it +ossi$le for them to . in 19 6 a +rodi.rou+ K wor2ers $ein. communism and fascism as alternati3es! *ts +ro+a. to listen to entertainers in the clu$! Chen the +ayin. America to recoil at the word fascist e3en when +eo+le did not 2now its out an endless stream of words) +ictures) and cartoons! *t +layed on intellectual) humanitarian) racial) and reli.

anda of hate unleashed a.ainst the Catholic Church $y re+eatin. of this secret army to a friendly country! &arious unions were com$ed for mem$ers who would Goin the A$raham 4incoln "ri. this techni.e of 4incolnDs name as they had other +atriotsD names to stir menDs souls for +ro+a. the Jast Coast +ro3ided false +ass+orts and e8+edited the sendin.ade! 'he Communists used the +resti.ade which was the American di3ision of the *nternational "ri.ers) actors) teachers) and +reachers! All these and more +oured their $est efforts into this cam+ai. the mind of America! Peo+le of all ran2s Goined the cam+ai.ent of the *nternational "ri. its +riests! 'his was not a new tactic! * had seen it used in our own country o3er and o3er a.a3e the Party tremendous assistance in conditionin.n! #urin. from American national leaders to e8+ose this fraud! 'he Party) from time to time) +roduced a few +oor) $ewildered S+anish +riests who) we were told) were .ue) they sou.n for the 4oyalists9 +acifists) humanitarians) +olitical ad3enturers) artists) sin.ents who made their to destroy the Church $y attac2in. $ehind the scenes to do $usiness with *talian and Nerman fascists to whom they sold materiel and oil! 'here was not a hint that So3iet $rass was meetin. co+y for American $usiness) for the sale of soa+) whis2y) and ci.ani. the S+anish Car the Communist Party was a$le to use some of the $est talent of the country a.anda +ur+oses! *) myself) swallowed the PartyDs lies on the S+anish Ci3il Car! 'here was little forthcomin.ed Catholic wor2ers) *rish and Polish and *talian) in la$or unions they always dro3e a wed. to $e.n a contract for a new ma+ of Juro+e K a treaty made $y (oloto3 and &on %i$$entro+! *n the S+anish Ci3il Car) the Party called u+on its many mem$ers in the field of +u$lic relations) a.a3e /itler his start had also started 4enin and his staff of re3olutionists from Swit.ainst those who wanted only to $e free! 'he communist +u$licists carefully too2 for their own the +leasant word of 4oyalist and called all who o++osed them H?rancoF?ascists!I 'his was a literary cou+ which confused many men and women! &iolent communist literature re+eatedly lum+ed all of the Church hierarchy on the side of the H?ascists)I and) usin.arettes! 'hey . the laity and attac2in. $y writin. the +riests! *n the S+anish the re3olution which was to result in the So3iet totalitarian state! 'here was not a hint that des+ite the +ro+a.forces which . that the Church was indifferent to the +oor and was a.erland to St! Peters$ur.e $etween lay Catholics and the +riests) $y flatterin. ancient a++eals to +reGudice and $y insinuatin.ainst Nermany and *taly) communist re+resentati3es were meetin.ain! Chen the Communists or.n the Communists in the United States followed (oscow directi3es! 'hey were the distant out+ost of the So3iet realm and coFordinated with the Communist *nternational in details! Chen the call came to or.ade) the communist +ort a.ents of the 0ational (aritime Union alon. with Nerman $rass to redraw the ma+ of Juro+e! 'here was no $etrayal of these facts until one day they met o+enly to si.e the American contin.

ainst the others) the ?ascists! *n retros+ect it is easy to see how com+letely they twisted the AmericanDs lo3e of freedom and Gustice to win emotional su++ort for the So3iet ad3enture in S+ain! 'hrou. (where * made the s+eech)) held under the aus+ices of the 'eachers Union! *t netted more than twel3e thousand dollars! *t $ecame o$3ious) as the e8tensi3e cam+ai.ent and the American Communists wor2in. e3erythin.atherin.n could not ha3e $een financed from the contri$utions made at mass meetin.rou+ had $een ordered to $oard the 3essel at ni.n! "ut the tremendous! Armed with $lac2Gac2s and lead +i+es) they set to wor2! Some of the crew suffered $ro2en Gaws) arms) and le. fellow Americans and were confused as to what the fracas was a$out! .ent in a rum+led suit who sat in a 0ew 1or2 hotel with se3eral Communists from the 0ational (aritime Union) and with %oy /udson) then the Party whi+ on the water front) e8citedly +eeled off hundredFdollar $ills from a hu.le that finally $ecame a +icture there is the story of the 5rica 0eed.e wad and insisted that a trustworthy crew $e +laced on the 5rica 0eed.ed! *n addition a crowd of $oys from the fur mar2et) who were told they must fi. food) mil2) and medicines to hardF+ressed "arcelona! *t was chartered ostensi$ly $y the 0orth American Committee for 4oyalist S+ain! *n reality it was financed $y So3iet a. in its +ower to $rin.ed as the HPeo+leDs +riestsI as a.n +olicy of the United States into conformity with its own de3ious +lans and that it did not hesitate to use tric2ery to do so! *t wanted the United States to su++ort So3iet +olicy on S+ain! * did not understand this at the time! After that odd +ieces of information and desultory recollections of e3ents stayed in my mind and finally +ieced out an understanda$le +icture! As one e8am+le of the +u. the forei..ned to switch crews! A .re. which will ser3e as an e8am+le of hundreds of others! *t was su++osed to $e a mercy shi+ ta2in.oon s.ent had +lanned) some were hos+itali.h these were not small sums! * remem$er one mass meetin.n went on) that some of the funds were comin.s) thou.h numerous committees the Communist Party raised thousands of dollars for its S+anish cam+ai.s and other .uad on the shi+! 'hey did not 2now that they were assaultin.s)) and) as the little So3iet a. e3en if the old crew had to $e remo3ed $y force and hos+itali.ed! 4ater) * tal2ed to one of the men assi. cam+ai.4oyalists and these were +u$lici. the 5rica 0eed to 0ew 1or2 and there re+lace her crew with trusted Party men! 'he little So3iet fascism) con.ents! 'he 5rica 0eed was laid u+ in 0ew -rleans! At that time antiFcommunists were in control of the 0ational (aritime Union in the Nulf) and the shi+ was manned $y a crew which was either antiFcommunist or non+olitical! 'his did not fit into the +lans of the So3iet a. with him! So it was decided to $rin. from sources other than the collections! *t is now well 2nown that the So3iet Union was doin.ated near the Jast Side +ier where the shi+ was doc2ed! 'hey attac2ed the mem$ers of the crew who esca+ed the .

ned on $y the 0ew 1or2 office of the Union were nearly all +roFcommunist sailors) some of whom were loo2in. for an o++ortunity for 3iolent action and ad3enture! Chen the 5rica 0eed left Sandy /oo2) customs ins+ectors swarmed o3er her! "ut they found no arms or ammunition) and left the shi+ with only one $it of contra$and9 a communist $londe who was determined to .e a shi+ flyin.ade! * learned that Sid "a$s2y) a teacher of the fifth .old li$erty $ells inscri$ed H4incoln "ri.oviet commissarsL 'here was the 4incoln "ri.s9 A$raham 4incoln li3es a. ostensi$ly chartered $y the 0orth American Committee for 4oyalist S+ain) was sent to -dessa $y her real charterer) the So3iet Union! 'he S+anish +eo+le were e8+enda$le! #urin.ade and the Nari$aldi "ri.ether! Jyes .uarters for further instructions! 'he Hrelief shi+I with its su++lies reached "arcelona where she was immediately ordered to -dessa! And so the 5rica 0eed.h all the national su$di3isions had national commissars) these were under . his clothes) left for S+ain! Si8 wee2s later we recei3ed word of his death! Some of our su$stitute teachers enlisted and were s+irited away to So3iet a. the American fla.i. fascism!I -ne of our talented 'eachers Union mem$ers wrote a marchin.ade)I as a sym$ol of their +ride in those Hfi.e and) without e3en +ac2in.irls wore .i3e the order) a communist mem$er of the crew held a +istol to the ca+tainDs head and commanded) HProceed to "arcelona!I 'he S+anish . in S+ain! 'here was 'hom+son for the United States) 'ito for 1u.) returned to head.un$oat) reluctant to sei. son.rew moist as the .uests were told of $om$s dro++ed on little children in "il$oa! 'he *nternational "ri.osla3ia) Andre (arty for ?rance) and others to act as the new leaders in other countries! Ce teachers recruited soldiers for the 4incoln "ri.e that the first international army under So3iet leadershi+ had $een $ornB that thou. this time communist . those years house +arties were held $y our union mem$ers to raise money for 4oyalist S+ain! Union and nonunion teachers were in3ited! Communists and nonF communists ru$$ed shoulders and dran2 coc2tails to.o! /e did not return! %al+h Cardlaw) son of a Neor.ot them out of the country with or without +ass+orts! *n Paris they went to a certain address and there were directed across the $order! #urin. world military communist leadershi+ de3elo+in.ade was eulo.ian minister) suddenly left his classes at City Colle.-nly the ca+tain) an old Scandina3ian) remained of the ori. which we san.htin.ents who . the first to .rade in Pu$lic School 0um$er 6 in the "ron8 who had $een a classmate of mine at law school) was! . at our meetin.ineer! Chen the 5rica 0eed cleared Ni$raltar and nosed toward her destination) ?rancoDs .o to S+ain) and who was remo3ed from the ca$in of the chief en.un$oats ordered her to sto+! 'he ca+tain) concerned for the safety of his 3essel) made ready to do so! As he turned to .ed $y many Americans! 'hey failed to reali.ade! 'here was the emer.inal crew! 'he new crew si.

/e was) howe3er) willin.rew to almost nine thousand and we e8tended control to many u+state locals! At its +ea2 the Union $oasted ten thousand mem$ers) and in it the Communist Party had a fraction of close to a thousand! Amon. e8ce+t Party literature! 'his was necessary to hold leadershi+ in a union where many of the leaders were trained and esta$lished Communists! 6 '.rew fond of her and relied more and more on her to ma2e im+ortant decisions! .e Cashin.e teachers in the Union .ton /i.enerally! /e .ram as a teacher and had little time to .A$raham 4incoln marches! U+ tall he stands and his .) H6rei%eit!I CHAPTER EIGHT ?%-( 19 * was in3ol3ed in so many acti3ities * had little time for my family and old friends! * de3oted myself more and more to the new friends who shared my fanatical sense of dedication! * found little time to read anythin.19 A 'he 'eachers Union was .ment) not 2nowin.ns of the 'eachers Union and of the la$or mo3ement .. Non )asaronIB and sometimes with fists closed and lifted we shouted the Nerman *nternational $ri.ade son. to chance! Chen in 19 6 4ef2owit.rew so numerous that a se+arate local with a se+arate office was esta$lished for them) 4ocal < >! 'o.i3e to office detail) $ut the efficient (iss Callas was always at hand! /e . to Goin with the Communists in the many and 3aried and #orothy Callas) a $rassy and +leasant $londe) was +laced there to insure Party control) and es+ecially control of the +resident! (r! /endley carried a full +ro. ra+idly in num$ers and influence! 'he colle.ress of the Comintern! 'he +resident of the Union) Charles 7! /endley) a history teacher at Neor. hand /olds a .ether with the CPA 4ocal 0um$er 4< ) our mem$ershi+ .e +olitical differences! /e was a lonely manB the Union and its leadershi+ were his family and his social life! 'he Party left nothin. and 4in3ille left the 'eachers Union $ecause the Communists had control) the Party immediately su.rowin.un! Cith the 4incoln "attalion $ehind him) /e fi.ested a candidate for office mana.h School) was not a Communist! /e was a militant socialist and did not Goin the Communist Party until he retired from the school system! /e then $ecame associated with the 3aily 4orker.) of course) that she was a Party mem$er! (iss Callas meantime used her +osition as +alace fa3orite to run the office as she saw fit) and) since (r! /endley was at school all day) she $e. them were (oscowFtrained teachers and men and women who had attended the si8th Corld Con.reat $i.hts for the freedom of S+ain! And at 3arious social affairs we also san.rew to li2e many of the Communist Party leaders in the Union and that tended to minimi.

ainst 4in3ille and 4ef2owit.* was seldom in the Union office! * was at Al$any) or out of town or. thus im+lyin.! Some had the $lessin. class) such as Jn. for their endless hours of wor2 e8ce+t the ri.uard with its endless dis+utation .ani. smoothly! She and * did not clash $ecause * did not want a road $loc2 in my relations with (r! /endley! As * had often heard her critici.i3e some consideration to the innerFoffice +olitics and * soon learned that (iss Callas was an inner wheel functionin. e8ce+t when the Party s+o2e! 'here was a su$tle stru. into a ri.a3e me +resti.uard in the Union and scornfully call them 0ineteen ?i3ers) referrin.lish and American ca+italists! Ce who were the leaders of the unitedFfront +eriod used to sha2e our heads at the old . with all) e3en with enemies of the wor2in.ainst discrimination) a.ns and that * was used in 2ey +ositions in la$or +olitics! 'his .ainst fascism) a.h and * dou$t if they 2new how! Ce had one man in the Union who was so talented in mani+ulation that he was re. new situations! As a matter of fact) this literature sometimes seemed a handica+) cluttered as it was with dou$le tal2 used +ur+osely $y (ar8 and 4enin! "rowder em+hasi.ain +olitical res+ect for the Union! 'he Party literature of the +eriod was stressin.ainst economic insecurity! Jarl "rowder and other Party leaders were warnin.e which * used to 2ee+ the life of the Union from free. im+ortance of united fronts for +eace) a. that a .) or at City /all) or at the "oard of Jducation! "ut to $e effecti3e in the Union * found * had to . on Stalin who was $uildin. socialism in %ussia) and only on Stalin $ecause of his shrewdness in one was to come! A Gunior hi.matic) $ut as fle8i$le in meetin.h) and some of them) such as Celia 4ewis and Clara %ie$er) were so dedicated that they were intolerant of anyoneDs o+inions e8ce+t the o+inions of those on their side! * ne3er saw them lau.rou+ at the office) a to control! 'hey were dour +eo+le thou. to the %ussian %e3olution of 190<! 1et * see now that this old . me in la$or) le.le for leadershi+ $etween this inner core and myself! (y stren.le Stalin did his! 'he communist fraction had installed him officially as 3iceF+resident of the 'eachers Union and also unofficially as the ar$iter in all dis+utes $etween Party mem$ers and .arded as the Stalin of the Union K #ale Qysman) also 2nown as 7ac2 /ardy! /e had $een to (oscow! /e had written T%e 6irst American 0evolution.rou+ had 2nown each other for years! 'hey had led the stru. the increasin.ed the im+ortance of relyin.le a.s of (oscow and they were a sort of elite cor+s) disci+lined and un$endin. Union leaders not to re.ard (ar8ism as do.a3e sta$ility to Party control of our Union! *t was their whole lifeB few .ot anythin.islati3e) and +eace cam+ai.hFschool teacher) he was a tall) +ersona$le youn.e the Communists) * was con3inced that she was not one! 'here was another .id communist +attern! * deferred to them often) howe3er) and was firm only when it came to Union +olicy on the economic interests of the teachers and the need to . man with a 2een interest in $ase$all and he held his +i+e in his mouth at e8actly the an.rou+) oldFtime leaders of the fraction! 'he thirty or so who made u+ this in any contro3ersy lay in the fact that the Party was usin.idly communist +uritanical ..

h certain measures and to try to defeat others! Ce felt it was im+ortant at these meetin.rou+s! 'his was all done months in ad3ance! 'hen a cam+ai.s of learned societies to defeat e3erythin. federal aid to the +u$licFeducation! #orothy was ma2in.ue! * . which did not conform to (ar8ist ideolo.y! 'he result was that the ideolo.i3e the Union J8ecuti3e "oard a wellF$alanced a++earance $y +ersuadin.rou+s) $ecame twisted +ersonalities! #ale) * learned later) re+orted directly to HChester)I a man * was to 2now as the chief of the PartyDs intelli.rou+s! /e also esta$lished contacts with nonFParty +ersonalities for +ossi$le wor2 in the Union! *t was he who tried to . my +osition with (r! /endley difficult $y false stories a$out me! * could not s+end hours in the office Gust to counteract office intri. con3entions too2 much of my time! 0o con3ention of teachers in the United States e3er went unnoticed $y the Communist Party! 'he national office would call the leaders of the teacher Communists and discuss with us the nature of the or.i3en to +ushin. on in the Union as well as in the inner circles of other teachersD $ac2 information on what was .e system which $ certain +eo+le elected or to ha3e them 3olunteer to .. .ht me e3idence of financial irre.ations! 'hose who wor2ed in this es+iona.ation and to .y of many of our learned societies has within the last thirty years $een dee+ly affected! 'he Communists .ua.o to a con3ention so that we would ha3e a core of de+enda$les! ?inally we drew u+ a +lan of action to +ut throu.ani.ularities! 'hey did not want to ta2e it to (r! /endley $ecause (iss Callas was in3ol3ed! * too2 this u+ with #ale and .ot a $rushFoff! 'hen one day the mystery cleared! Ce learned that (iss Callas was not only a .s of learned societies) such as mathematics and modernFlan.uire if we had Party mem$ers in it! *f we had) we would decide which resolutions they were to introduce and which they were to o++ose! *f we had no mem$ers) o$ser3ers would $e sent to ma2e contacts! Particular attention was .ani.n $ their reactions it was clear from their faces they had 2nown it all the time! * was the one 2e+t in the dar2! (iss Callas was soon afterward sent elsewhere and * was free to carry on my wor2B $ut for some time * was unner3ed $y this du+licity! Attendin.ram and to the issue of se+aration of church and state at these con3entions! Ce also carefully +re+ared for meetin.ood Communist $ut that she was also #aleDs sisterL *t e8+lained much) and * thou.e system) +articularly in other leftFwin.ence ser3ice! 4ater * ran into a real +ro$lem with #ale and our $lond office mana.oin. Protestant and Catholic teachers to acce+t +osts on the "oard where most of the mem$ers were communist atheists! #ale also maintained an es+iona.e associations) and those com+osed of +rofessors of +hysics) history) and social studies! A careful search of Party mem$ers and friends of the Party was made) as well as of li$erals and s+ecialFinterest .ht it should $e ta2en u+ with the leaders of the fraction! "ut when * stated my disco3ery and loo2ed at Celia and Clara and the others to .ot nowhere when * too2 the matter to #ale! "ut one day two $oo22ee+ers $rou.

was held and the American ?ederation of 'eachers) a national or.o 'eachers Union to all locals affiliated with la$or! A meetin.! *t was first tried in 190= in San Antonio where a charter was issued directly $y the A!?! of 4! 4ater the same year the Chica.ue in American education in that it was the only teachersD association tal2in.ton) #!C!) with a . to lea3e their classes or to .ani. and Go$ +romotions are a sine $ua non of academic .et la$or su++ort for a salary fi.y idealistically! ?or the stren. teachers with la$or is interestin.ations in ten different states had affiliated with la$or! Some were shortFli3ed) due to local su++ression) or to loss of interest) after the immediate o$Gecti3e was won! *n 1916 a call was issued $y the would 3isit and try to dee+en the ideolo.ed in educational +eriodicals as to the ad3isa$ility of teachers unioni. the summer months so teacher of the Party was increasin. them 7ane Addams) ur. salesmen! 'he Party and its friends were assiduous in de3elo+in.atherin.rowin.ani.rou+ of scholars who were not mem$ers of the Party $ut who followed (ar8ist on e3er since! "y 1916 twenty teachersD or.ical con.reedy) the de.ether the .o 'eachers ?ederation) or.o ?ederation of 4a$or to . social life! 'he methods were manyB the end was one K a closer tie to the Party! "efore $y flatterin..o alon. to him new 3istas of usefulness) and $y introducin. a +rofessor would $ecome in3ol3ed in the +roletarian class stru.le! /is name would then $e used to su++ort communist +u$lic declaration on national or international +olicies! Soon the +rofessor identified himself with a Hside)I and all the .er of the Party in the locality where each +rofessor li3ed! 'he or.h +ositionsB and Go$ .ation) was founded! 'he ne8t month it affiliated with the A!?! of 4! with ei.i3en to the district or. his 3ictim) disclosin. to.o) Nary) 0ew 1or2 City) Scranton) and Cashin.oans) amon. with us! 'hese names were .ood +eo+le were on his side and all the .ht charter locals in Chica. in hi.ani. .in.) a de$ate which has . tomorrows!I American ?ederation of 'eachers con3entions were held s+ecial +ermission! 'his ?ederation was uni.ed the teachers to affiliate with la$or! A de$ate ra.esta$lish a fraction in such societies and whene3er +ossi$le a leadershi+ for a materialistic) collecti3istic) international classFstru.s! At the end of a con3ention they returned with lists of new con.ani. and Go$ with the H3ested interests!I (any +rominent Chica. the Go$F.ed on a union $asis! 'he history of the +lan for affiliatin.raded) the stu+id were on the other! Soon he $e. of Hour +eo+leI and thin2in.le a++roach! 'he con3entions were in3alua$le in $rin. himself +art of an unnum$ered army of Gustice marchin. +hase of these meetin.uests) the names of men and women who would .s! (en are drawn where +ower is) and these academic men were no different in that res+ect from tra3elin. to a $ra3e new world) or) as one ?rench intellectual Communist) who lost his life in the %esistance) +ut it) toward Hsin.ates could attend without ha3in.ettin. him to an interestin.ed in 1A9>) affiliated itself with the Chica..

o as dele.ates! (y first federation con3ention was in Philadel+hia in 19 6! Since it was close to 0ew 1or2 City) we were a$le to send a full . of the de+ression it a..ine +u$lished $y a . and +ersuasi3e ones! (any of the teachers were not interested in the +olitical stru.rou+s! 'he stru.ements were in the hands of the Philadel+hia local) itself communist led and controlled! 'he +arty assi.e $ecause of attac2s on or.o as to send dele.ues e8hi$ited! "ut one fact was clear to others9 the con3entions of the ?ederation $ecame $attles for the ca+ture of the minds and the 3otes of the inde+endent dele.ates from other sections! Ce were so well or.ainst the new teachersD or.rou+s was carried to the national con3entions) often to the consternation of the +olitical innocents who still $elie3ed that all American +olitics was ruled $y the %e+u$lican and the #emocratic +arties! 'hey could not understand the $itterness) the 3itu+eration) and sometimes the terror which their collea.ates! J3en in the 0ew 1or2 local in my time it was difficult to . with an acti3e mem$ershi+ of almost ten thousand! "y that time the Communists were dis+lacin.le! J3en then most of the mem$ers were not socialists $ut were attracted $y the ?ederation +ro.le $etween these .ht hundred! 'he American Teac%er.. a$ined mem$ershi+ of twentyFei.ood standin.ain $ +romotin.ed that we were in almost com+lete control! 'he arran.innin.ani.ed la$or! Cith the comin. Party mem$ers! 'he communist fraction within the ?ederation drew u+ its list carefully and it was considered a mar2 of honor for Party mem$ers or fellow tra3elers to $e selected! -f course) from 19 6 to 19 A our dele.rowth was due to the antiwar +rinci+les of the American socialists) for there was need of an or.le in the ?ederation and did not care to .ates to the national con3ention) the communist district or..ani. of teachers) and these $ from 4ocal < to ?ederation con3entions had to $e di3ided $etween the communist .rou+ of indi3iduals in the 0ew 1or2 union) was endorsed as the o!!icial +u$lication! At first hostile) $oards of education e8ercised +ressure a.ned .a. the or.ates $ecause the ?ederation did not +ay e8+enses! "ut the 2eenest com+etition e8isted amon.ation) $ut $y 19=0 there were one hundred and forty locals and a mem$ershi+ of twel3e thousand! 'he American ?ederation of 'eachers in the $e.ates while many of the outFofFtown locals were forced to send only to2en re+resentation! 'o ma2e matters worse we had im+ressed on the mem$ers of the 0ew 1or2 fraction that e3en if they were not dele.ation to hel+ teachers in3ol3ed in the antiFwar stru.ani.uota of dele.ers $ to .ani. the socialists from +osts of radical leadershi+ in unions! 'he steady march of the Communists into the ?ederation at this +eriod was +lanned and not accidental! Since twentyFfi3e teachers could form a local and send dele.rou+ which was in control and the o++osition which consisted of socialist s+linter .ates they would $e needed to entertain and lo$$y with dele.ates) often charmin.row and $y 19 4 there were se3entyFfi3e locals in .et nonFParty +eo+le to . was s+ar2ed $y socialists! *ts .ram for economic and social aid! "y 19=> the ?ederation had declined in mem$ershi+ and +resti.

ent in the ?ederationB 7erome #a3is) Gust fired from the 1ale #i3inity School) thrown out) we were told) $ecause he had dared +romote a stri2e of student cafeteria wor2ersB (ary ?oley Crossman) +resident of the Philadel+hia local) a fine and a$le womanB (iss Allie (ann) a . or hairdressin.nity on the $eautiful cam+us) $ut we carried +ic2et si.hF$ac2ed chairs K my feet hardly touched the floor K and faced four mem$ers of the Cor+oration) silent men who would not tal2 e8ce+t to say they were there only to listen! .reed to see a committee of three chosen from the dele.ns to show that we were the intellectual $rothers of e3ery wor2er on stri2e! After some hours the 1ale Cor+oration a.uestions! *f * had not yet $een con3inced that the road to +ro.e of dele. +rocess was at wor2 in American life and at that time it seemed to me a . from 7ohns /o+2ins Uni3ersity) the shrewdest communist a.le +hiloso+hy and so $rin.nity that seemed so much a +art of the +rofession in America to the youn.ress was the one +ointed out $y the Communists) * was certainly o3erwhelmed $y the sense of +ower which this con3ention manifested! 'o it came +rofessors whose names * had read in academic literature and in the +ress! 'here was a wide ran.h 3otes to +ass a resolution for a So3iet America! 7erome #a3is was elected +resident of the ?ederation and his cause $ecame the rallyin.ory $ecause they were on relief) or had a colle.uiet Al$ert "lum$er. the ne8t year! 'he fi.reat le3elin. +ersonalities9 neat) .ation! * was one of them! *n a .ood +arliamentarian and charmin.ates) from uni3ersity men and women of distinction and oldFtime classroom teachers with the staid durin. would fit teachers $etter into its for his reinstatement at 1ale also $ecame a 'eachers Union cause! 'he colle. +oint around which we fou.est Southern local of Atlanta) and one of the noncommunist leaders! 'he con3ention was entirely swallowed u+ $y the Communists! 'hey +assed e3ery resolution they wanted and * $e.ood thin.rou+ of +ic2ets for we wore ca+s and . them to identify themsel3es with the +roletariat! At the con3ention were 3arious interestin.! So it also seemed to the Communist Party) $ut for a different reason! 'his +rofessional le3elin. woman from the lar. ta+ dancin.its a$lest tradesFunion functionaries to hold continuous secret sessions in a room at the con3ention hotel to aid comrades on all . su$stitute and unem+loyed teachers who eyed their situation with economic fear and +olitical and +hiloso+hical defiance! 'here was also the CPA troo+) an assortment of men and women who were called teachers $ut many of whom had $een shifted into this cate.loomy +aneled room with hi.otiate with the 1ale Cor+oration for his reinstatement! Ce were an unusual .owns and +araded with to feel that we had enou.e education) or some talent that allowed them to $e called teachers) such as teachin.s we sat in hi.h ceilin.! A .e di3ision of the ?ederation 3oted to +ic2et 1ale and * was elected to a committee to ne.

rateful to the Party for hel+in.h all the shifts! "y 19 > the sitFdown stri2es in lar.ed in s+littin.uestions! 'he answer was always the same9 they were there to listen) not to ar.! Ce were an odd . of the year to re+resent the Union at the le.anda s+eeches a$out the role of American educators and a$out the ri.ation of mass unions and the ra+id rise in union mem$ershi+ e3erywhere had $rou.a.rant this lea3e $ut intercession $y (ayor 4aNuardia) with whom * was still on friendly terms) a. from our classrooms) to teach wor2ersD classes in (ar8ism and 4eninism in our free hours! A few of the more astute +aid only li+ ser3ice to this acti3ity) ho+in.ers) includin. to ta2e the ?ederation into 7ohn 4! 4ewisD C*-! Ce were fascinated $y him) $y his sha.reed to . out of our efforts and the ?ederation had a +resident who was a colle.or.ue! Ce outlined our demands! Ce made .e contin.e +rofessor! 'he ne8t con3ention was held in (adison) Cisconsin) the followin.own! 'hat year we went to the con3ention more and more to dominate the ?ederation! Amon.ain * was a dele.oFround $ecame $etter +oliticians than they were educators! 'he con3ention at (adison had a lar.reat +resti.e and tremendous +ower to la$or! Ce teachers rode on la$orDs coattails and were . year and a.e) and 3ictories! * had once a. the #emocratic Party $y the formation of the #emocratic . the attracti3e /u.las and a score of $rilliant leftF win.e +rofessors) es+ecially from to throw our lot in with the C*-! Chere3er the Party teachers had influence we Goined with stri2ers and wal2ed in their +ic2et lines! *n 0ew 1or2 we Goined the news+a+ermen at the "roo2lyn 5a#le and at the 0ewar21ed#er7 at the tele.e +lants and in CPA and welfare offices in 0ew 1or2 fired the ima.ain assured my lea3e! 'he C*.. schools) and they $e.islature! 'he trustees of the colle.e had $een reluctant to .ain ta2en a lea3e of a$sence from /unter in the s+rin.ent of colle.*n 3ain we as2ed .i3en to the cause! "ut most of the +rofessors in3ol3ed in this merryF. to ca+ture hi. seamen! Ce marched in (ay #ay +arades in ca+ and .ination of youn.ra+h offices we Goined the communications wor2ers! -n the water front we .ot somethin.rown enormously in num$ers) +resti. them were 7ohn de "oer and #orothy of a +rofessor to +artici+ate in community +ro$lems! 'hen we re+orted to the assem$led academic +ic2eters that the +ower of concentrated wealth which the 1ale Cor+oration re+resented had heard our remar2s and +romised to consider them! As a result of our efforts the Cor+oration a.a3e time and money and e3en our homes to stri2in.her +osts in academic circles where $etter ser3ice could $e . us to remain close to la$or throu.i3e Professor #a3is a yearDs salary $ut refused to reinstate him! Ce were satisfied! /e had . .y head and incredi$le eye$rows) $y his $i$lical allusions) and $y his Sha2es+earean actin.ani.ate! -ur 'eachers Union had fared well that year in 0ew 1or2) ha3in. intellectuals in the 'eachers Union and we were ea.rou+ as * see it now) madca+ intellectuals esca+in.h de 4acy from the Cest Coast! J3en then #e 4acy was en.

e! Such were the +olitics to which the idealists were .forces and its funds the 'eachers Union mo3ement could $e 3astly e8+anded! 'he A!?! of 4! did not li2e to s+end money in *talian) 7ewish) etc! 'hese .rou+s were used as +olitical machines to . with some of the conser3ati3e mem$ers of the ?ederation defeated the C*.! 'his led ine3ita$ly to the control of all +arties $y a small .h +ower within the C*..rou+s) 0e.ani.ain) and it drained $oth %e+u$lican and #emocratic Parties! * saw 4aNuardia meet with the Communists! * saw him acce+t from Si Nerson and *srael Amter written withdrawal from a +osition to which they had $een nominated and recei3e a certificate of su$stitution at the mayorDs re.ular e8Fseaman and "rowderDs la$or s+ecialist! /e +ounded the ta$le and laid down the law! * told him fran2ly that * thou. A!?! of 4! and to the or. teachers! 'he Party too2 no chances on 3otes and their selfFa++ointed leaders were rewarded with the s+oils of office! 'his new +attern * saw re+eated o3er and o3er a.o with the C*and 7erome #a3is and the +rofessors a.and of the leftFwin.o into the C*-! *t felt it had enou.reat mayor for.i3in.ed national minority .e) and the first we ou.! 'hus 4aNuardia +layed with $oth win.raft was less o$3ious) $ut under 4aNuardia +olitical +ower was transferred from the +eo+le or.ani.ed unions of the C*.rou+s e8ercisin.ed into +olitical +arties into the hands of .le for +ower) and the Communist Party was not slow in insinuatin.le! 'hose who say 4aNuardia was a . of the American 4a$or Party at the /otel to .rou+ around ?iorello 4aNuardia) whose +olitical heir was &ito (arcantonio! *t was a +ersonal dictatorshi+! 0ominations were traded in the that he did more to $rea2 down the maGor +olitical +arties and +arty res+onsi$ility than any other +erson in 0ew 1or2 State! 'he streets were clean) ta8es were lower) .ress! /e was a 3alua$le addition to the communist cause! 'he Communist Party had told us that it did not want the teachers to .uest! A halfFhour later * heard him address the Social #emocrat win. he did was e8coriate the Communists! Communists were in the audience and not one of them seemed e3en to notice this hum$u.s of the 4a$or Party to his own ad3anta.whereas in the A!?! of 4! the PartyDs forces were diminishin. +ersonal +ower! 'he real +olitical +ower +assed to the wellF financed) wellFor.?ederation which resulted in his election to! %oy was a tall) an.. themsel3es! . its instructions miscarry! %ose Cortis and %oy /udson) from the Central Committee) were at the con3ention hotel to steer the comrades ari.! * was $itterly disa++ointed for * $elie3ed that with the li$eral C*.reed! "ut we were informed that the Party did not wish it) and disci+line was firm amon. the floor leaders! A 3ote was ta2en and we held to the Party line! 'he Communists! *n the cityFwide 19 > elections in 0ew 1or2) the Party) which had hel+ed esta$lish the American 4a$or Party the year $efore) ca+tured se3eral im+ortant +laces within it! *n city +olitics there was a steady elimination of differences $etween the maGor +arties) and res+onsi$le leadershi+ in the two old +arties was disa++earin. itself into this stru.ani.ani.

rou+s which had earlier o++osed him $ecause of his in3esti.ers) whi.ani.e and my sense of dedication to the interests of the Hdowntrodden!I .hts for an uncertain union Go$ at a reduced salary) and worst of all for a Go$ de+endent on yearly elections! President Colli. a short s+eech! And * thou.e a womanDs committee for the election of 'homas #ewey! /ow A$e .in. that year Gust $efore the election! *t was held at the /otel #i+lomat and we were cheerin. and whi..e $edfellows! "y 19 A my wor2 for the Union and for the schools was en.ed that * should $e to $e .ed out a.i3en to my students and not shared with outside or..ani.'he election cam+ai.e wor2 mainly $ecause * felt * could not ser3e two masters! *f * remained a teacher) * felt my undi3ided attention ou. for it could $e.ed into the meetin.n * do not 2now) $ut * do 2now that he or.ations and +rosecution of many unions! * remem$er one es+ecially hilarious 'eachers Union meetin.ain after ma2in.n was dee+ly distressed when * told him and he as2ed me to reconsider! H'hese +eo+le will ta2e you and use you) "ella)I he warned me) Hand then they will throw you away!I * loo2ed at him! * could see that he was sincerely trou$led a$out me and * a++reciated it! "ut * thou. me so dee+ly that it interfered with my wor2 as a teacher) so * decided to resi.e! CHAPTER NINE * NA&J UP my /unter Colle. the candidates of the American 4a$or Party and its allies when 'homas #ewey) accom+anied $y his him oldFfashioned and fearful of new 3iew+oints! "esides) * 2new he was a Catholic and o++osed to the forces with which * was associated! * shoo2 my head! H0o) * ha3e decided)I * told him! H*n this country one hundred and forty million Americans ha3e no tenure and no security! *Dll ta2e my chances with them!I And * handed him my resi.ot into that cam+ai.n for 19 > was im+ortant to the left win.nation from /unter with satirical amusement) that +olitics does indeed ma2e stran.ed for #ewey the la$or .ations! * was afraid also that) if * remained a teacher) as many teacher +oliticians did) there would $e a conflict $etween my desire to ser3e the interests of the now to ma2e deals for +ower) with the Social #emocrats of the American 4a$or Party) with the #emocrats) with the %e+u$licans) and with men of wealth who wanted +u$lic office and +u$lic s+oils! 'he American 4a$or Party that year su++orted the 4aNuardia slate) which included 'homas #ewey for district attorney! * was sur+rised when A$e Un.n from /unter and ta2e a fullF time +osition with the Union! (any of my friends were sur+rised to hear of my decision! 'hey were ama.e) my tenure) and my +ension) and other ri. to lea3e the a Party lawyer whom * 2new well) as2ed me to hel+ or.

rateful to the Communists! 'here were dar2 $yF+roducts of the stru.n * attracted thousands of nonunion teachers! * felt * had to find a way to hel+ them! And in a .uiet way they $ a full +ro.otry and discrimination arose) the Communists were .le in which only the most strident 3oices could $e heard! *n fact the law of the Gun.ularly a++ointed teachers in all teachers who had $een forced into the CPA and su$stituteFteacher cate.ard for the future) confident that in the wor2in. themsel3es to an e8+losi3e situation) had their answers for these trou$led youn. for anyone! 'he result was an educational Gun.uic2 to note them and to e8a. 0e. the years * wor2ed for the Union! * did not then or later as2 for an increase! * was sensiti3e a$out wor2ersD money! * had heard so much a$out H+ie card artistsI who were the o++ortunists and careerists in the tradeFunions mo3ement that * did not want to tem+t myself! * wor2ed for the Union for ei.ram on a +ar with the! 'he Communists) who are unerrin. teachers! 'heir chief answer was that we had reached the H$rea2down of the ca+italist system!I 'o those who were selfFconscious on race or reli.s e8ce+t that they did not recei3e an annual class * should find satisfaction and security! As the +o+ulation of the city who were .le itself was sometimes followed! 'he CPA teachers) the su$stitutes) the instructorsD associations in the colle.rants) the *talians) the Nree2s) the 7ews from %ussia) and the Sla3s! (er. in attachin.. the de+ression as +erFdiem em+loyees! 'hey tau.erate them! So a clea3a.hts! 'hey were called Hsu$stituteI teachers) $ut they were not su$stitutin.ain a++roached) * $ecame a fullFtime em+loyee of the 'eachers Union at si8ty dollars a wee2! 'his is the salary * recei3ed durin.* made the choice without re.oaded $y a sense of inGustice and a fear of failure! 'his was the lush soil in which the communist teachersD fraction in the 'eachers Union flourished! 'he fact that the o++ortunity for free +u$lic education was +ro3ided in 0ew 1or2 City from .le! 'he were .e) had no 3acation +ay) and were doc2ed for e3ery day ill or a$sent! 'hese teachers hated holidays) for on those days they went un+aid) and they had no +ension ri.e without e8+ense to +arents) with e3en te8t$oo2s free) created an intellectual +roletariat! 'hese men and women needed Go$s commensurate with their education) and teachin.islati3e year a.lish) Scotch) and *rish ori.ation to thousands of su$stitute teachers who had $een in the schools durin. the 0ew 1or2 "oard of Jducation to fulfill its moral o$li.e was esta$lished $etween the older . with this .h to run into the +olitical ine+tness and the callous to $e . +olicy of the educational authorities there was $ound to $e conflict! *n the su$stitute teachersD years at that salary! *n that first year * de3oted myself es+ecially to $y them! Chen these wouldF$e teachers $e.ious or racial discriminationI was the cause! Chen indi3idual instances of $i.rou+ were the children of the e8+andin.rades throu.ories were the children of the most recent immi.ualified educationally for +rofessional Go$s! 'he +ositions of +ower and of educational su+er3ision) howe3er) were held mostly $y +ersons of Jn..ion they said that Hreli. at that time was the wor2 most sou.

it he at Al$any! "ut we made it the most contro3ersial le.n for the su$stitute teachers! 'o me it was a cause) and * a++ealed to the Party for a decision! * recei3ed a fa3ora$le one! * now $e.rim faces) and * 2new they had $een discussin.o3ernor and Su+reme Court Gud.nostics) and sometimes called themsel3es Hhumanists!I 'he 'eachers Union was in a dilemma on the su$stitute teacher .an consciously to $uild new Party leadershi+ in the Union! * surrounded myself with youn.ether with Jdward Ceinfeld) now a federal Gud.n! * was weary at the end of that session! 1et * stayed in Al$any to attend the State Constitutional Con3ention) determined to write into the new constitution . other ci3ilFser3ice em+loyees! J3en +oliticians and +u$lic officials res+ected us for our relentless Party mem$ers who were more alert to new situations and did not thin2 in ri.) and $o$tail of the +rofession! -n the other hand) it 2new that the su$stitutes of today would $e the (ar8ist +atterns! Ce did not succeed in +assin. +u$licFschool system! Charles Poletti) former lieutenant .islature) No3ernor 4ehman 3etoed it reluctantly after the entire "oard of Jducation had used its +ower a.e) was secretary of the Con3ention) and he) to.teachers) who were lar. of the 4a$or Party and the communist win. for Con.uard with set) .rew immeasura$ly in stature and +resti.e) was hel+ful in safe.ainst it! /owe3er) in 3etoin.e amon.uestion! -n the one hand) it wanted to cater to the older and more esta$lished teachers who were sayin.islation for which we fou. the achie3ements of the +u$licFschool system! *n the fall of 19 A) the American 4a$or Party nominated me for the Assem$ly in the old 'enth Assem$ly district) the area includin.islation of the 19 A sessions! 4ater) when it was +assed $y the le. that the Union was cham+ionin. a$out the situation! /e added that if the city failed to do so he would act fa3ora$ly on such le.e "ac2er) at that time married to #orothy Schiff) owner of the New York )ost! *t was the +eriod when the Ale8 %oseF#a3id #u$ins2y win. to dro+ it $ecause they wanted to hold a +osition of authority amon.e! *t was a famous district re+resented at 3arious times $y /er$ert "rownell and (ac0eil (itchell! -n the tic2et with me and runnin. only the ra.) ta.ular teachers) so that they could influence educational +olicy and curriculum chan. the new cro+ of teachers and amon.ulars of the future) and $esides more Communists could $e recruited from those +inched economically! 'he fraction leaders of the Union were di3ided on the issue! Some were willin. the su$stituteFteacher le. the re.rou+ . Nreenwich &illa.ress from the same area was freethin2ers) atheists) or a.e! * sometimes came $ac2 from Al$any to find the old . were still in .uardin. the disa3owal of the cam+ai.ed 0ew 1or2 City to do somethin.uarantees for an e8+andin.islation in the future! 'he Union and the communist .ely Protestants) Catholics) and conser3ati3e 7ews) and the new teachers who were increasin.

h2ee+sie) for he) too) +referred country li3in.h$orhood) and Neor. at Se3enth A3enue and ?ourteenth Street) * saw #a3id #u$ins2y) who li3ed in the nei.coalition K an uneasy alliance $orn of e8+ediency! "oth were see2in.h li2e her hus$and she traced her ancestry to the early settlers of America! 4ater she $ecame one of the three old ladies who ostensi$ly owned the #aily to do her +art in stren.ns in difficult areas that * de3elo+ed a facility for s+eechma2in. to undermine not a selfish ca+italist class) $ut the 3ery life of her own .i3e a lecture to churches and 1Ds! She .e and mo3ed to one in Pou.reat deal of streetFcorner s+ea2in. house on Cest Jle3enth Street! (y +arents occu+ied one floor) 7ohn and * the ne8t) and the du+le8 a$o3e us we rented to Susan Coodruff and her hus$and! Susan was a dear old lady whose hus$and was a Princeton .e (eany .ed my cam+ai.enuinely $elie3ed that the So3iet Union meant an ad3ance for humanity and she was ea.ani.a3e u+ our house in the &illa.ed in slides and she offered to show them free as well as .raduate and a %e+u$lican! Susan) on the other hand) was an a3owed Communist and admirer of the So3iet Union) thou.rou+! She was surrounded $y li2eFminded +eo+le) (ary 3an Mlee2 of the %ussell Sa.! .o $y! 'hey sto++ed to listen for a few moments) then smiled at each other) and went on! Suddenly) and for the first time) there came o3er me a sense of futility o3er this endless acti3ity in which the Communists were in3ol3in. in a small and charmin.! -ne of my fa3orite char.s) made recordin. u+ a streetFcorner meetin. control of 0ew 1or2 State +olitics! 'he 'eachers Union or.thenin.e on this fact) and concluded with H'weedledum and 'weedledee K youDd $etter 3ote the A4P!I 4ate one was that the candidates of the %e+u$lican Party and of the #emocratic Party were lawyers connected with the same law +artnershi+) a firm which re+resented the +u$licFutility interests! Ce used to enlar. * lo3ed Susan and res+ected her for the honesty of her o+en affection for the So3iet Union! She had .! (y mother welcomed the chance to $e in the country a. it! 'he Party was always ha++y to use such 3oluntary +ro+a.andists! J3en antiFcommunists ne3er attem+ted to show such +eo+le as Susan that Communists and their fellow tra3elers were hel+in.) as * was windin.ain! * 2e+t a room in the city and went home for wee2 ends! 7ohn was often away on $usiness and the rest of the time he stayed in Pou.! "y this time * had ta2en +art in so many election cam+ai.s) and did a .h2ee+sie $ecause my +arents wanted to $e in the country! (y fatherDs health was to %ussia in the thirties and had ta2en +ictures of So3iet scenes! 'hese she had arran.n committee! Ce wrote +olitical son. me! 'hat year 7ohn and * were li3in.e ?oundation) 7ose+hine 'ruslow Adams) Annie Penny+ac2er) and ?erdinanda %eed! Chen * saw Susan and others of old American families de3oted to the +rinci+les of ser3ice to humanity it hel+ed to allay any dou$ts * had! At the end of 19 A we .

techni. su$3ersi3e acti3ities! * concluded that the le.i3e life meanin.islati3e committee was a++ointed) headed $y Senator ?rederic Coudert) a %e+u$lican from 0ew 1or2 City) and /er$ert %a++) a %e+u$lican from u+state! -ther teacher or.ered the education +ro. de+ression which had $een .ation into the su$3ersi3e acti3ities of teachers in 0ew 1or2 City! * called immediate attention to the fact that the study of the costs of education was tied to one for in3esti. momentum! 'he +u$lic hearin.ed ta8+ayer .ni.ani.h he could not s+ea2) he loo2ed at me steadily) and then a sin.s on the state $ud.s myself! * did feel that demands for a cut in state aid to education! *t was a stru. for an HA8 the ta8)I and the 'eachers Union which led an army of teachers and +arents with the counter slo.ed my fatherDs wishes and had called a Catholic doctor and then ta2en him to a Catholic hos+ital! %uth 7en2ins) my secretary) dro3e me at a furious s+eed throu. since ceased $elie3in. in such of sleety rain! Chen * reached the hos+ital) my father was alone $ehind screens with an o8y.hter and had left him without my com+anionshi+! .'he le.islature +assed a resolution with remorse) how in these cluttered years * had failed him as a dau.arded it merely as an attac2 on the 'eachers Union) and no dou$t were secretly +leased! *n A+ril 19 9 7ohn called me in Al$any and ur.ations discounted this attac2 on the educational $ud.islati3e in3esti.le now $etween the or.rou+ with the slo.h * had lon. for a le.atherin.ed they were usin.! As * stood $y my fatherDs $edside H#onDt use the a8 on the child!I "ut a ten +er cent cut in state aid was +assed K a cut which we felt endan.ue to undermine education! 0either (ayor 4aNuardia nor the officials of the American 4a$or Party would mo3e to ward off this attac2! A le. was needed to lessen the +ain of dyin.ram and meant a loss of teachersD Go$s! At the end of the session the le. at him) my hand o3er his) he o+ened his eyes) still so $lue and $ and) thou.le tear fell from his eye! *t cut into me and trou$led me for years afterward) for somehow it seemed to re+resent his sorrow a$out me! * and re.. and to .islati3e session of 19 9 had reflected the now which too2 +lace on 4incolnDs "irthday $rou.rateful to 7ohn that des+ite his hostility to Catholicism he had reco.h2ee+sie! * was 3ery . in St! ?rancis /os+ital in Pou. a %edF$aitin.ation into the costs of education and of the administrati3e +rocedures of education! 'here was a rider at the end callin.en tan2 $eside him) unconscious or aslee+! A nun attendin.ed me to come home immediately! (y father was dyin.atin. him told me he had recei3ed the last rites! * felt than2ful thou.h a ni.islati3e leaders wanted to reduce costs) $ut that in order to do so it would $e necessary to smear the teachers! * char.

a strident call for aid to the +u$lic schools! Ce .o 'eachers Union and the St! Paul and (innea+olis teachers with their lar.e Counts and Professor 7ohn Childs of 'eachers Colle.e that to a3ert the attac2 on the communist teachers) a thin.en! After the funeral * went $ac2 to Al$any with a hea3y heart to face a mass of wor2! 'he Communist Party had $een . of the 0ew 1or2 situation) and +erha+s lift our charters! . run we would win! 'hat summer saw a new attac2 on the 0ew 1or2 'eachers Union! ?riends of #r! 4ef2owit.rou+s) chief amon./e was $uried in St! PeterDs Cemetery at we collected funds) more than R1<0)000 the first year! Ce +u$lished attracti3e $oo2lets which we sent to teacher or.ani.e Noo.ens of radio +ro.h2ee+sie! 'here were not many at the funeral $ut the town officials .ed! 'hey were under leadershi+ of #r! Neor.atin. whom were 4o3estonites led $y "en #a3idson (later secretary of the 4i$eral Party of 0ew 1or2 City) and his wife J3e) formed a mi8ed .e locals swam+ed the small locals of we or. +eo+le other than teachers into the! Ce had not $een too successful in the (iddle Cest) where the conser3ati3e Chica.ot free time on do.ton) and Neor.a3e +eo+le a feelin.ed a committee called H?riends of the ?ree Pu$lic Schools!I Under its ae.e) Professor Neor. the wee2 of the con3ention) with the result that we were now dri3en into a minority +osition! J3en thou.ani. that in the lon.ainst the +endin.ani.e who was the A!?! of 4! re+resentati3e at the con3ention that year! 'hese) to.ood citi.rou+ $ut it united for one o$Gecti3e! 'hey +lanned to ta2e the leadershi+ in the ?ederation from the Communists! "ut the Party $rou.n a.ed HSa3e -ur SchoolsI community clu$s) made u+ of teachers) +arents) trade unionists) students) and youn. which 0ew 1or2 locals! Ce feared that the newly elected officers would do their own in3esti. +eo+le! Ce were a wellFtrained army and $y our wellFor.ation! *n a mo3e to s+are the Union the strain of all this and also to $rin.a3e him a motor escort to the cemetery) as e3idence of their affection for him as a friend and .e A8telle of Chica.o) the socialist teachersD $loc of #etroit) the 'eachers Union of Atlanta) Selma "orchard of Cashin.) lar.e teachers and +ri3ate schoolteachers which we had $een a$le to esta$lish! 4oss of control faced the Communists! 'o ma2e matters worse) news of the So3ietF0a.i +act $ro2e durin.ani.uic2 to in reser3e stren. %a++FCoudert in3esti.rou+ in the American ?ederation of 'eachers) to.ations) to trade unions) to womenDs clu$s) to +u$lic officials! * set u+ a $ooth and an e8hi$it at the 0ew 1or2 State ?air in Syracuse and * co3ered numerous county fairs) issuin.h some hidden Communists remained in office) we were +owerless to use the American ?ederation of 'eachers to hel+ the distrau.rams! Ce +ut on lead to the heart of the Party) it must hel+ the from the 0orthwest) from California) from the South) in addition to its forces in the Jast and 0ew Jn. +ro.ani.rams o3er a radio station in 0ew 1or2! Ce or.ether with 0ew 1or2 City minority .ely from the +rofessorial .ed action we .ether with a socialist $loc) some oldFline A!?! of 4! mem$ers) and some antiF communists) were or.

ed the e3ent on the . hands with &on %i$$entro+! 'he 7ewish +eo+le within the Party were also distur$ed and .ators! -n the committee were men * could not disli2e) mild) fair men such as %o$ert (orris) Phili+ /a$erman of the AntiF#efamation 4ea.e as it may seem) * $elie3e we did +ray that mornin.! 'he "oard of Jducation was ordered to loo2 into the situation of the su$stitute teachers! "y fall of 19 9 the %a++FCoudert Committee had settled down to wor2 with a score of in3esti.ns * $ecame im+atient with his attitude on teacher +ro$lems and finally to e8ert +ressure we threw a +ic2et line around City /all! Ce made a sin.ed world could no lon.i colla$oration came at a time when the ci3ili. the Communists) reasons arisin..h it trou$led me! 'hou.uite a few left it! 'hose who remained) rationali.'he So3ietF0a.i$le role in the in3esti. and) as a +u$licity stunt) * announced to the +ress that there would $e +rayers at sunrise! * tried to . the line in defense of the Party itself! of the news+a+ers and they used +ictures of the +ic2ets at mornin.uard of im+erialism! ?rom the Communist Party and from the men who re+resented the So3iet interests in this country we . out of the old feuds and the stru.o3ernor of 0ew 1or2! Assem$lyman %a++ was an u+Fstater concerned chiefly with educational finance and administration! So he +layed a ne. +ic2et lineB twentyFfour hours of it) an allFday and allFni.le to control unions) and $ecause of the untrustworthiness of the Communists in Goint enter+rises! 0ow these +eo+le were .e thou. +rayer! Stran.round that the warmon.ainst 7ews and other minorities! 'he a Catholic +riest to say the sunrise +rayers for us) $ut e3en the +riests from the +oor +arishes around City /all loo2ed at me oddly and said they could not do it without +ermission from the chancery! * offered to +ay them) to ma2e a contri$ution to their charities) $ut they only eyed me more oddly and refused with than2s! J3entually a li$eral minister a.i3e much attention to this outra.ue) and Charles S! Chitman) son of the former .enuinely outra.reed to come and lead our +ic2ets in +rayer! 'he Party did not arran.ation! 'hat left one +erson on whom to turn our com$ined fury! Senator Coudert was a %e+u$lican) cold and +atrician in a++earance! "ecause of his international law firm with an office in Paris and the fact that it acted for many Chite %ussians) we loo2ed on him as an! 'he Party +laced its forces at the teachersD dis+osal) since the teachers were now in the 3an.ed at the +icture of (oloto3 sha2in.e 7ewish mem$ershi+ of the unions under the leadershi+ of #a3id #u$ins2y and Ale8 %ose had its own reasons for hatin.ers of the Cest wanted to destroy the So3iet ?atherland) so in selfFdefense it had outfo8ed the Cestern remain silent at the 0a.i atrocities a.ot the . an alliance with their enemy! * was too $usy with the teachersD +ro$lem to .e for that +ic2et line $ut it was +leased when the news hit the front +ic2etin.ersI $y ma2in.oFahead si.nal to ma2e him our tar.! 'his e+isode ended my friendshi+ with 4aNuardia) for he was furious at the ad3erse +u$licity! *t did accom+lish somethin.h the Communists su++orted (ayor 4aNuardia in the election cam+ai.

in Al$any +resided o3er $y 'om 4yons) then its +resident! * as2ed for the floor) made an a++eal for su++ort) reminded the dele.ns a.a3e them to the re+resentati3es of the Committee) +resuma$ly at (r! /endleyDs direction! .ain time and ena$le us to continue or.o3ernor and to maGority and minority leaders! Ce tried e3en the im+ossi$le! * remem$er one state A!?! of 4! meetin.y decided on was to defend the teachers $y defendin. * stood for than in the faces of the comrades who were the sei.ani.h it was our Union which was under attac2) it mi.ates in that audience were afraid to s+ea2 u+! And then * saw that there was more com+assion in the face of 'om 4yons who was o++osed to e3erythin.eneral consultation! 'he Party esta$lished a Goint chiefFofFstaff .uarters) and se3eral of the PartyDs lawyers! 'hey were a to+ command to direct o+erations! 'he to the .rou+ with se3eral from the teachersD fraction! *t included such Party leaders as *srael Amter) 7ac2 Stac2el) Charles Mrum$ein) all from Party head. the Party! 'he lesser +olicy) or tactics) was to $e esta$lished from day to day! ?or the HCommittee to #efend the Pu$lic SchoolsI we hired a $attery of lawyers) as it was im+ossi$le for one lawyer to attend to the many demands! Ce decided to fi. their own s2ins! *t had $een our decision that mem$ershi+ lists were not to $e turned o3er to the Committee e3en if we lost in the courts! 'he mem$ershi+ files were turned o3er to me and * was ordered to refuse to turn the lists in) +referrin.s on the water front) to the hotel and restaurant wor2ers) to the meat cutters) to the state) county) and munici+al wor2ers) $oth A!?! of 4! and C*-! Ce trained s+ea2ers) +re+ared s+ea2ersD outlines) mimeo.h one) that at one time union men carried their cards in the soles of their shoes! * +ointed out that thou.ates that the stru.ed to the s+linter .ra+hed form resolutions) and sent hundreds of form tele.* 2new that the fi.rou+s) 4o3estonites) 'rots2yites) Socialists) $ut in the course of the $e theirs tomorrow! 'hen * mo3ed for su++ort! * .ure of our Union mem$ershi+ lists all the way to the Court of A++eals! 'his would .ani. the mass cam+ai.ra+h messa.ation had $een a lon.le for union or.atin.ot none whatsoe3er! 'he communist dele.$y the %a++FCoudert Committee to +roduce all our records) mem$ershi+ lists) and financial re+orts! 'here was .ainst the le. and tou. committee! 'o +rotect our mem$ershi+ lists we a++ealed for tradeunion su++ort! Ce sent s+ea2ers to union meetin..rou+s left the Union and $usied themsel3es in other would $e $itter) $ut * was not +re+ared for its 3iolence! 'he first attac2 was on the mem$ershi+ lists of the 'eachers Union! Cithin the Union there were still those who $ in 1940 these s+linter .ani. Gail if necessary! * ha++ened to $e out of the office when the Committee came to demand them) and (iss Callas) in whose custody were the +u$lic schoolteacher lists) .islati3e committee! *t would also ser3e to wear out the in3esti.ations! 4ocal ?i3e was ser3ed with a demand) a su$+oena duces

ned a lawyer or a Union re+resentati3e to .o with the +erson to the hearin.o to the Union mem$ers who were to $e called and warn them! *f we wanted to .! She .s! She was an attracti3e) aristocratic $londe) wellFdressed and charmin. me he had arran.ain time) the +erson was told to send word he was sic2) e3en enter a hos+ital if necessary! *f it were feasi$le) he was to mo3e! *f not) we assi.oin. o3er these stories that * reali.uiry so that we could $etter arm the ne8t $atch of teachers to $e called! *t was while * was .th in the 4a$or .ht mean dismissal) and these we decided to +rotect! 'he Party now +laced at our ser3ices its intelli.e Union teachers which were in my +ossession! Ce were afraid that throu.ed for the first time Gust how im+ortant a +art of the communist mo3ement in America the teachers were! 'hey touched +ractically e3ery +hase of Party wor2! 'hey were not used only as teachers in Party education) where they .* $urned the lists of the colle.a3e their ser3ices free of char.ot the cards it $ to issue su$+oenas! Ce instructed those teachers who were not Party mem$ers to a++ear $efore the Committee and to tell the truth! "ut there were hundreds for whom the truth mi.! (ost of the teachers were instructed not to answer .ence) assurin.e from Chester) who was in char.ot a messa.e) $ut in the summer they tra3eled and 3isited Party fi.ed for a liaison who would meet me re.ence a++aratus) for the Communist Party has its own intelli.uestions and to ta2e a +ossi$le contem+t citation! Some were instructed to resi.oin.h them the Committee would $e a$le to trace a +attern of mem$ershi+) since our cards showed who s+onsored each indi3idual and the date on which he Goined! -nce the Committee .rou+s) in the trade unions) in maGor di3isions of our $ody +olitic) in the +olice de+artments) and in intelli.i3e the Committee! After each +erson had $een down to the Committee to issue su$+oenas than * . he was instructed $y us to write an e8act resume of what had trans+ired with all the .n from their Go$s) $ecause we feared the Committee would +u$lish the facts a$out their international connections! *f the teachers told the truth) they mi. to .uestions and answers) and these were deli3ered to our #efense Committee! Ce studied these resumes for +ossi$le e3idence of the trend of the CommitteeDs in. on in the %a++FCoudert Committee! * met my contact daily) in cafeterias) restaurants) and +u$lic $uildin.e of the Party *ntelli.ence di3isions of the No3ernment! * was to see some +roof of its efficiency! ?or no sooner did the %a++F Coudert Committee $e.ures in other countries! (ost of them were an idealistic) selfless lot who manned front committees and were the $ac2$one of the PartyDs stren.a3e me sli+s of +a+er which $ore the names of those witnesses whom the Committee was information and a list of those who were to $e su$+oenaed! Armed with this ad3ance information) we would .ularly with information on what was .ence officers) in s+linter .ht in3ol3e other Party contacts! 'he Coudert Committee issued more than si8 hundred su$+oenas! 'he teachers o3er whom the Party had control followed our directions and instructions! "ecause they were forewarned $y us they were a$le) with our assistance) to +re+are defense stories to .

smearin. the in3esti.ain and the Party was .atorDs history and $ we steadfastly 2e+t $efore the +u$lic the idea that the and ?rance at this time! At first the Communist Party was in seemin.ed once a.ani.le is found to e8+lain the e3il moti3es of those who are conductin.ations) and +rofessional . as they marched at our side! 'heir reasons were unim+ortant to us! 'he United States was in +rocess of $ein. youn.rou+s in America! 'hese communist acti3ities of a low order always suc2 in those who $ ma2in.ani.ressi3e Party! J3en in the inner Party a++aratus they +erformed in3alua$le ser3ices! 'hey +ro3ided the Party with thousands of contacts amon.oldiers.ations) then +olitical +arties of the left) then leftwin.n is on the offensi3e! Some an.ation) +erha+s to show that the in3esti.n) at least in the o+inion of many +eo+leB and we distracted the attention of the +u$lic from the s+ecific wor2 of the Committee! Su++ort for the teachers) which at first had come only from the Communist Party) increased and included li$erals) left trade unions) national .rou+ or.o to the #efense Committee! "ut we were forced to desist from further distri$ution when we learned that the *nternational Communist line had chan.ood e8am+le of how they fi.ation is itself a $lind for some ulterior moti3e and that the result will de+ri3e +eo+le of certain ri. of which some ten thousand co+ies were +rinted! *t was $eautifully illustrated! Ce had cartoons contri$uted $y as more or less sincere $ut mis.ani. artists $ecause the +roceeds were to .) nameFcallin.) frameu+) careful com$in. o++osition to this $ecause of the So3ietF0a.i +act) and United Party mem$ers $ecame antiFwar! Party .ers or on s+ecial assi.round! *f there is nothin.rou+s! 'hey were .ers! 'he American Communists came close to +acifism in those days! 'his +hase did not last) $ut in the course of it the 'eachers #efense Committee +u$lished a $oo2 called 4inter .ious or.ressi3e %e+u$licans! All the su++ort) howe3er) was for tan.ainst those conductin.ation of 0ew 1or2 City schools +ro3ided the le.ations) reli.ential issues and not the $asic issue! *t did not matter to us so lon. that can $e attac2ed) then some innuendo is whis+ered which $y re+etition snow$alls into a smear and ma2es the +u$lic say) HChere there is smo2e there must $e fire!I Sometimes the cam+ai.uided idealists $ut remain to follow the Party $lindly! 'he 3aily 4orker editorials continuously $lasted the %a++FCoudert Committee as a techni. #emocrats) then soFcalled Pro.ation and with e3ery wea+on at the PartyDs dis+osal) includin. of each in3esti. the in3esti. alliances with the most 3icious +roF/itler .rou+s $e. finance Party acti3ities! Some su++orted hus$ands who were Party or.nment for the Party! 'here is no dou$t that the %a++FCoudert in3esti.reat deal of information on how Communists wor2! *t also +ro3ided a .ani.ue of the warmon. +eo+le) womenDs or.ious and racial $i.hts! *n the teacher fi. coa8ed into an alliance with Jn.enerous in hel+in.islature with a .Party and later in the Pro.otry! 4ittle $y little we won the $ac2) sometimes $y a defensi3e fi.ation was intended to ro$ the +u$lic schools of financial su++ort and to +romote reli.

rateful to them for their su++ort of the teachers! * still did not see communism as a cons+iracy! * re.ned to wor2 with a committee to free the leaders of the ?urriers Union who had $een sent to +rison for industrial sa$ota. to wellFdefined standards and there was a sem$lance of order and certitude! 'he rest of the world had $ecome cold and chaotic to me! * heard tal2 of $rotherhood) $ut * saw no e3idence of it! *n the .an) H'he 1an2s are not comin. the Communists * 2new there was moral $eha3ior accordin.ed a committee of .lorified the Hlittle +eo+le!I * was surrounded $y +eo+le who called themsel3es Communists and who were warmhearted +eo+le li2e myself! *n the world outside there was immorality and decadence and inGusticeB there was no real standard to li3e $y! "ut amon.reat +art this was $ecause * was . for ?lorida to . Corld Car * until AmericaDs entry! /e des+ised what he called the H+hony +eaceI cam+ai.e had not $een successful) $ut the $rea2in. nonchalantly from a su++ort of +acifism to a su++ort of war! 'housands of students under the im+etus of the Communists had ta2en the -8ford oath a.arded it as a +hiloso+hy of life which . man to do +u$lic relations) and arran. these months that * de3elo+ed my dee+est loyalty to the Communist Party! *n .rou+ of Communists with which * wor2ed * did find a community of interest! *n addition to the 'eachers Union wor2 * continued as an acti3e leader of the American 4a$or Party! * was assi.ue a. +oint came at this time! /e told me he was lea3in.! 'his time the Party had some difficulty) $ecause so many new friends of the Party found it difficult to swin.htened the Cestern world $y its alliance with /itlerB now the cam+ai.ation Committee! *n 1940 * had $een selected $y the Party to lead a committee called ComenDs 'rade Union Committee for Peace! Ce raised money) hired a youn.) +roFwar) as the Communist *nternational had always intended that America should $e! 'he *nternational had fri.ed a mass dele.ainst war! (any had read with Goy the antiFwar +oems of (i2e Suinn) who had also +ro3ided the C*.n to in3ol3e America in the world war was once a. all my time to the Union and other Party causes! *t was durin.ainst Car and ?ascism K a title which was later chan.e! * or.ns! 'here were other and +ersonal reasons why our marria.with its slo.ani. acti3ity with the Communists! /e himself was +roF"ritish! /e had ser3ed in the Canadian Air Ser3ice durin.ain in full swin.!I 'housands of women had wor2ed with the Party on its mass committees) such as the 4ea.ed to American Committee for Peace and #emocracy) and then to American (o$ili.ation to Cashin.ton! 'here we lo$$ied with re+resentati3es and senators! Ce went on the air with +roFNerman s+ea2ers! Ce set u+ a continuous +ic2et line in front of the Chite /ouse! *t had $een at this time that a final $rea2 came $etween my hus$and and myself! ?or some time 7ohn had $een distur$ed $y my a di3orce! * stayed on at our a+artment in Perry Street! (y mother had come to li3e with us some months $efore! * shuttled $ac2 and forth $etween Al$any and 0ew 1or2 that s+rin.

the %a++FCoudert in3esti. for the leaders! 'here can $e only one moral code for all! Perha+s (rs! %oose3elt) li2e myself and many other wellFmeanin.rou+ +ractically held us res+onsi$le for this e3ent! "ut the real result of that 1940 con3ention was the fact that the Neor. the wi3es of the im+risoned men) to 3isit $itterly of that con3ention in (adison when we would ha3e $een welcomed into the C*-) $ut the Party for$ade it! 'he loss of the charter had come a$out chiefly as a result of the unfa3ora$le +u$licity .ani.ical to me and * said so! Communism cannot $e ri.ain we were at a con3ention at a time when the international communist scene was stirred $y a dramatic e3ent! 'he +re3ious year we had heard of the si.e $oys) and the teachers) too) when their re3olutionary de3otion e$$ed! Under the name of H/ortonI he was the 0ew 1or2 Party director of education while he was still teachin.reed to do all in her +ower to .et our memoranda into the hands of the a++ro+riate officials! She was sym+athetic with the wi3es of the im+risoned men who had come with me! -nly one note in the inter3iew distur$ed me! 'he matter of the ri. +eo+le in America) has $y this time learned that there is no halfway house in which you can meet the communist mo3ement! CoFe8istence is not +ossi$le on any le3el! *n the summer of 1940 we attended the American ?ederation of 'eachers con3ention in "uffalo) fearful of our welcome! *t was almost ironic that once a.reat la$or mo3ements! * thou.reatest $low was the indictment of one of our teachers) (orris U! Scha++es) on the char.raduate of City Colle.ation and $y forei.i3en us durin.ation he had $uilt) the 'eachers Nuild! 'his automatically ended our formal relations with the A!?! of 4! 'he 0ew 1or2 'eachers Union was now an inde+endent union not affiliated with either of the .lish teacher at City Colle.i +actB now came news of the murder of 4eon 'rots2y in (e8ico! 'he com$ined Socialists) 'rots2yites) and 4o3estone .women) includin. of the So3ietF0a. at City Colle.e) an ardent Communist) himself a .ressmen and the #e+artment of 7ustice! Ce tal2ed with (rs! Jleanor %oose3elt at her a+artment on Jle3enth Street! She .e Counts . and the new or.e) he was the child of +arents who li3ed close to want on the lower Jast Side! Cith his de3oted wife) Sonia) he li3ed as dedicated a life) that is) as dedicated to communism) as anyone * e3er met! /e was the flame that fired the City for little +eo+le) for the wor2ers) and wron.rou+ too2 control of the American ?ederation of 'eachers and soon after the 0ew 1or2) Philadel+hia) and other communistF led locals had their charters lifted! *n 0ew 1or2 the co3eted charter of the American ?ederation of 'eachers affiliation went to #r! 4ef2owit.e! /e had e8ercised .raciously of Communists to $e leaders of trade unions had come u+ in the .n e3ents! * returned to 0ew 1or2 to learn more $ad news! 0early fifty of our teachers had $een sus+ended from their Go$s! "ut +erha+s the .nin.e of +erGury! An Jn.eneral discussion! (rs! %oose3elt said that she $elie3ed Communists should $e +ermitted to $e mem$ers $ut not leaders of trade unions! 'he +osition seemed illo.

ani. a++eals! A$out this case there is still a certain irony! Scha++esD trial attorney) Jdmund Munt.otten e8ce+t $y his wife and a few loyal friends! 'he Communist Party was now in coalition with the forces which had +rosecuted (orris! 4ate 1940 and early 1941 had $een s+ent in endless +re+aration of the defenses of indi3iduals who were $rou.e! 'he trou$le was that the three Communists he named were either dead or .e) and in the or.ain chan.) was one of the trial lawyers in the %osen$er.s! Chen the smo2e cleared) we found there had $een a loss of from forty to fifty +ositions in the city colle. at City from the colle.ani.ether to win the war! (orris Scha++es was for.n from it! Chen * returned from Al$any) * learned that the to+Fle3el committee in my a$sence had to trial $efore Gud.uestions and ta2e a contem+t citation with almost certain loss of his Go$) or resi.ed the decision9 he was to admit he was a Communist and say that he and three others +u$lished the Communist sho+ +a+er) the )en and +ammer.ained nothin. which was circulated anonymously at City and in the +u$lic schools! 'he 'eachers Union had) $y and lar.e and the Coudert Committee was a$le to +ro3e that his statement was a falsehood! (orris Scha++es was indicted and $rou.edy! * went to Sonia and did what * could to hel+ her! Ce or.ed a committee for Scha++esD defense! Ce held a mass meetin.ually ironical that (orris Scha++es was one of the teachers who ins+ired 7ulius %osen$er.e while he was a student there! At the end of the trial (orris Scha++es was con3icted and sentenced to two to four years in State Prison! A new +eriod was at hand) a +eriod of e8tremes) when the united front of Communists and the forces of national unity in the United States were to wor2 to.e 7onah Noldstein) remanded to the old 'om$s) with $ail set at ten thousand dollars! Chen the doors of the dirty old ratFinfested 'om$s closed on him * hated the world * li3ed in! *t didnDt seem +ossi$le that ordinary men could +ut a man in Gail when his only desire was to im+ro3e the condition of the +oor) when he . of the was at the $ottom of the tra.e teachers into the Union he had wor2ed indefati.a$ly! Chen he was su$+oenaed $y the Committee) it was decided that he should either refuse to answer certain . +ersonally from his acti3ities! * hated 'om #ewey) the district attorney) whom * $lamed for the catastro+he! * hated the HsystemI which * thou.ain +u$lic su++ort! (eantime) * recei3ed ten thousand dollars in cash from one of the PartyDs friends and (orris was out of Gail u+ $efore the school $oards for dismissals $ased on the %a++FCoudert Committee findin. in front of the 0ew 1or2 Su+reme Court in ?oley S.e) withstood the attac2! Some loss of mem$ershi+ too2 .tremendous influence on class after class in the colle.uare and laid a wreath on the ste+s of the courthouse Hin memory of academic freedom!I ?or this was the issue we inGected into the Scha++es case to . atom s+y case! *t is

s to children!I She died in my arms one ni.lish) had informed them that * was away and would $e .e thin.ents of the %a++FCoudert Committee and o3er.ealous news+a+er re+orters had $ro2en into my a+artment in search of teachersD lists! (y mother) in her $ro2en Jn. in $ody and she had continued to ha3e the li3ely mind of her earlier days! * had ne3er seen her $ored! /er one worry was that * wor2ed too hard) and she often +leaded with me to rela8) $ut * was dri3en $y inner furies! * too2 no rest! * did not ta2e 3acations! * li2ed to say there was no 3acation from the class stru.rimDs %est! All around her were the wild $irds who 2new she had come to feed them! She hel+ed $irds and animals and children and . to my mother! All she 2new was that * wor2ed too hard! "ut she must ha3e 2nown somethin.le! ?or a lon. s2y when * wo2e u+! Sometimes * thou.nosis was +neumonia! * was in Al$any when word came! * hurried $ac2 to find to my distress that as * lay there) how lon. across the fields at se3eral wee2s later! *n the re+ose of death her face was lo3ely) and as * stood $y her $ody * suddenly saw my mother in her $i.lad to see them when * returned! She refused to let them loo2 at any of my +a+ers $ut they had +ushed her aside and tried to ta2e o3er! * was furious when * learned of this ille. in her later days) for once she shoo2 her head and loo2ed at me sadly and said) HAmerica does stran.h2ee+sie $eside my father and * came $ac2 to 0ew 1or2! 0ow * was entirely alone! (y +ersonal life seemed com+letely at an end and * $elon.reatly! Ser3ices for her were held at the Church of -ur 4ady of Pom+eii on "leec2er Street! 'here were not many +eo+le in the church with me) $ut "eatrice came and some of the Party teachers were there) +eo+le alien to this house of Nod! 'hey came to comfort my loss! * was dee+ly touched! (y mother was $uried in St! PeterDs Cemetery in Pou. a way * had come to loneliness! /ow far $ehind me was the room in the em$race of the horsechestnut tree in the house with my mother and my father and the children of our family) and where * had +lanned my future! . time my acti3ities had no meanin.. white sweater with loa3es of $read in her hands) stridin.rownu+s! * would miss her .al in3asion of my home! "ut e3eryone disclaimed res+onsi$ility and my chief concern at the moment was my mother! She was se3entyFsi8 years old! She had always $een stron.ed only to the cause * ser3ed! * mo3ed out of the a+artment $ecause * could not $ear its loneliness! * found a tiny) ine8+ensi3e one on /oratio Street on the to+ floor of an old house near the /udson %i3er! 'here was a window $eside my $ed and from it * could see the mornin.+lace $ut we still had close to one thousand Party mem$ers in a union of a$out four thousand! *n ?e$ruary of 1941 my dearly lo3ed mother was ta2en ill! 'he dia.

reat) im+ersonal family! *n its midst * could find! A num$er of those sus+ended were still awaitin.ain H?ascist reactionariesI and all its ener. e8+elled the Communists the +re3ious year) they were not ready to sit down to a +eaceful con3ention with them this year! 'hey refused to seat the dele. as .rant readmission to our local! Ce therefore elected a full dele.ates) includin.ed our o$Gecti3e! -n the way $ac2 to 0ew 1or2) a num$er of dele. of the Communist Party! 'hat fall * was still to an end $ecause the Party re. all the +roFwar forces! "efore 7une 1941 it had $een an Him+erialist warI for the redi3ision of mar2ets) a war which could ha3e only reactionary results! "ut when the So3iet Union was attac2ed) the war was transformed into a H+eo+leDs war)I a Hwar of li$eration!I 'he American Communist Party dro++ed all its cam+ai.ns of o++osition! *ts +acifist friends were it +ro+er that the United States should $ecome an ally of the USS% $ut they felt that the American Communist Party should $e dis$anded! 'his was a +olitical +hiloso+hy * did not understand at the time! 4ater that year the same two men +u$lished a $oo2 entitled America.ates from the re.ation and sent it to #etroit) the con3ention city! "ut those who now controlled the American ?ederation of 'eachers were hardly aware of any chan.rimDs %est and my family was a .e in the situation! / interested in them! *ts new line was a united front with all the Hdemocratic forcesI K meanin. to find Go$s for teachers who had lost their +ositions in the %a++FCoudert fi. 0ussia and t%e -ommunist )arty in t%e )ost/4ar a.y of the So3iet Union with an a++eal for coFo+eration in war and in +eace $etween the United States and the USS%! "ut they called for dis$andin.etfulness when my $ody was com+letely s+ent and my $rain was weary! CHAPTER TEN *' CAS '/J SU((J% -? 1941! 'he 'eachers Union ho+ed that the American ?ederation of 'eachers at its con3ention would . #ale Qysman and myself) were in the same train with #r! Counts and Professor Childs) to+ men of the American ?ederation of 'eachers! #ale) always an e8cellent mi8er) went o3er to sit down with them and tal2ed of +ossi$le future readmission! "oth +rofessors thou.reat democracies! 'he fi. de+artmental trials! 'he Party was no lon.ates of the e8+elled locals! Ce held a ri3al con3ention across the street! Ce made s+eeches) and many dele.* still had a room and * still had a family! 'he room was far different from the one at Pil.ainst the "oard of /i.her Jducation had to $e $rou. untried $efore the "oard of /i. a fulsome eulo.her Jducation! Ce were unsuccessful and had to deal with the cases one $y one! .arded (ayor 4aNuardia as a force in the +roFdemocratic war cam+! 'hrou.y was em+loyed in +raise of ?rance and Jn.ular con3ention came to listen to us! "ut we returned to 0ew 1or2 without ha3in.h an intermediary we offered to ma2e a wholesale deal on the $alance of cases remainin.

s! Aside from teachin.ether a few outstandin.ram which had $een under the State #e+artment of Jducation was comin.ram of the 'eachers Union for 1941 * included a +ro+osal to esta$lish +u$lic nursery schools! 'he CPA nurseryFschool +ro.ressi3e education and to +re+arin.! -n #ecem$er >) 1941) * called to.y and li2ed alon.a.rou+s startled me! J3idently * had stum$led on a contro3ersial issue) one which struc2 at the role of the mother in education! *) myself) had . to teach mathematics or history or order of harmonious li3in. with other children) no moral or natural law standards are set! 'here is no word a$out how our children are to find the ri. of a school $y youn.her echelons of the +u$lic schools) and what are our conclusionsE -nly recently * heard the chief of the 0ew 1or2 +u$lic schools s+ea2 on tele3ision on Gu3enile delin. that children must learn to .ram of school e8+ansion and to solicit su++ort for nursery schools and $etter adult education! 'he meetin.rounds! 'hose de3oted to +ro.e Anna Mross) Commissioner of Correction in 0ew 1or2 CityB Menneth 4eslie) former editor of the ma.islati3e +ro.oin. youth to li3e in the Hnew socialist worldI are a$stractly sure of what they want) $ut they seem not to 2now that they wor2 with human $ein. +eo+le) she should $e a$le to teach! * had $een horrified to see teachers) who were . them today in the hi.lish) s+end all the time of their . that my main em+hasis must $e on su$Gect matter! * held to an oldFfashioned theory that if a teacher 2new her su$Gect) and had a few courses in +sycholo.ens to discuss the +ro.! .raduate wor2 * had steered clear of such courses) feelin.e) and in my .*n the le.s) more teachers) $etter +lay.e that we ne3er discussed or thou.ine T%e )rotestant7 and Jli.oals of educationE /ow were we to achie3e themE 'hese . Ce had enGoyed (rs! Nim$elDs hos+itality and tal2ed a$out discrimination) a$out the new wa3es of +o+ulation in 0ew 1or2) a$out the conflict with Catholics on federal aid) a$out $ud.i3en educational +olicy scant attention! 4ittle that was contro3ersial had $een included in my education courses at /unter Colle. 3andals! /e said that what was needed was more $uildin. women with small children! 'he storm of o++osition from conser3ati3e .ram to aid wor2in.pinac%. district) which was headed $y Senator Coudert! Also +resent was Gud.ets) school $uildin. to an end! 'he $ill * introduced for the Union was mild! *t was concei3ed mainly as a +ro.ram of Go$s for teachers and +artly as a social +ro.s) and teachersD salaries! As * loo2 $ac2 o3er the conferences * attended on educational +olicies and methods and +ro. citi. was held at the home of (rs! Jlinor Nim$el) a +u$licFs+irited woman) interested in many causes! Cith us was Stanley *saacs) li$eral %e+u$lican from (anhattanDs sil2Fstoc2in.uestions few as2ed! Are we as2in.raduate wor2 in courses on methods of teachin.uency! *t was soon after the wrec2in.ress) * reali.a$eth /awes) fashiona$le dressma2er and author of 6as%ion Is .ht a$out what 2ind of man or woman we e8+ected to de3elo+ $y our educational system! Chat were the .

the forces of the community to. ones were for.ies of the Party were now turned to esta$lishin.s and to act naturally) for their nei.rou+s! 'he Party line made it +ossi$le durin.ood instincts of their own mem$ers for their ultimate destruction! Under the dece+ti3e cloa2 of unity they mo3ed li2e thie3es in the ni. that Pearl /ar$or had $een $om$ed $y 7a+anese +lanes! 'he distant calamity in Juro+e which we had $een discussin. materials and secrets! Jach Communist Party .rou+s wor2ed to. this +eriod for ordinary Party mem$ers to $e merely human $ of America at the dis+osal of the So3iet Union! (oreo3er) the ran2FandFfile Communists were once a.e outdoor meetin. e8+ected that the war would in3ol3e the United States! *n fact) earlier in the summer the Party had ominously turned its Committee on Peace into the American (o$ili.i3e all my assistance! *n the Party we had lon.h$ors were now less fri. ca$in) recei3ed from education what all the athletic fields and la$oratories cannot .ht) stealin. the . war and how to meet it! 'he ener.odlessness! -n this Sunday afternoon of #ecem$er >) 1941) we tal2ed lon. winFtheFwar committees! 'he old feuds of the 'eachers Union and the C*.uments and the $i.ether now on %ed Cross committees) on $ond rallies) on $loodF$an2 dri3es! Ce were one +eo+le united in a common cause! *t is $itter for me to for the safety of their children in +re+aration for $om$in. was the comin. the Goy of $ein.ation Committee (for war)) and in Se+tem$er we had held a hu.ain tastin. at the "roo2lyn &elodrome! * was one of the s+ea2ers! 'he 2eynote of the meetin. in this +leasant room was now ours! Ce listened a++alled as the 3oice told us the full horror of what had ha++ened! Chen the news announcement was o3er) we loo2ed at each other in silence for a few minutes! Ce were +eo+le of many races and reli.i3e! All his s+eeches reflected his lo3e for his Creator! /e 2new that Nod is the cure for .! *t mo3ed $ris2ly to +lace the colossal stren.*) too) had to learn $y hard e8+erience that you cannot cure a sic2 soul with more $uildin. acce+ted $y all .i3e us the news! And as the first sounds carne we heard an e8cited 3oice announcin. attac2s! (rs! Nim$el finally turned on the radio to .ency for drawin.otten! 0ow the Communists $ecame +eacema2ers $etween discordant factions e3erywhere! Cith Goy and relief * watched the Party ser3e as an a.rounds! 'hese are im+ortant) $ut they are not enou.htened) and e3en listened to Communists e8+lain that they were on the side of the American +eo+le! All American .e that Communist Party leaders loo2ed u+on this united front as only a tactic to disru+t this country) and that they were usin. and ardently on education! Ce tal2ed) too) of the s+lendid wor2 done $y the women of Jn.ions and +arties) $ut we were of one mind on America! So it was only natural that we immediately set to wor2 to ma2e +lans) and that these +lans dealt with children! 'hen and there we formed oursel3es into an emer.s or more +lay.h! A$raham 4incoln) schooled in a oneFroom lo.ency Child Care Committee with (rs! Nim$el as chairman) and to this committee * +romised to turn o3er my files on nursery schools and to .ether to win the war! -f course the Communist Party was o3erGoyed at what was ha++enin.and the A!?! of 4! were +ut into moth $alls and the little ar.

ether $y Party intellectuals who lied) and it was made +lausi$le $y my desire to see manFmade +erfection in this im+erfect world! #urin.mem$er was used as a +art of the cons+iracy) $ut the maGority of them were unaware of it! -nly those who 2new the +attern 2new how each fitted in the +icture! * had stayed close to the Party durin.ns! 'he second reason was $ecause of the PartyDs cam+ai.ns of crudeness) corru+tion) and selfishness within the Party $ut * thou.ed9 * was risin.) de3oted) tireless in her wor2) a willin.round that she was merely a +etty functionary! -n a hi.a3e us fa3ora$le +u$licity and su++orted our cam+ai.reat Party of the So3iet Union! Ce felt they were incorru+ti$le! "lind faith in the So3iet Union) the land of true socialism) was the last s+ell that was $ro2en for me! 'his had $een a s+ell wo3en of words cle3erly strun. in im+ortance in this stran.a3e me) and the chance of +artici+ation in si. myself out with de3otion and wor2! * $ecame shar+ and critical of those who did not +our themsel3es as com+letely into the .innin. in the machine of +rofessional re3olutionaries) was su+er3isin. Communists one more ste+ closer to total war for total control of the world! * had slowly come to $elie3e in the infalli$ility of Hscientific socialismI and in the ine3ita$ility of the socialist millennium! * was $y no means o$li3ious to many which %ose crossed out as she corrected it) and she said9 HChy do you say thatE Ce do not the mo3ement was a $i.her le3el) * was sure) no one would ma2e so . me while * +re+ared a leaflet for the ComenDs 'rade Union Committee for Peace! * had included a statement a..i +act) +rimarily $ecause * dee+ly lo3ed the 'eachers Union which * re+resented! (y lo3e for it was no a$stract emotion! * felt affection for all its mem$ers) the stron.nificant e3ents! 4i2e others * had 2nown * was now wearin.n a.! *) and hundreds li2e me) $elie3ed in Stachel and ?oster) "rowder and Stalin) and the Polit$uro) and the .her le3el! * was so com+letely in3ol3ed with the Party now that it a$sor$ed all my s+are time! *ts mem$ers were my associates and friends! * had no others! 'o this was added one other factor) one not to $e minimi.ainst war! * now 2now that this antiFwar +olicy was merely a tactic to meet chan. this +eriod!I * was shoc2ed at this) $ut) unwillin.rew closer to the Party $ecause it was endlessly solicitous of the teachersD +ro$lems and . to stay $ecause of the sense of +ower it . this +eriod %ose Cortis) a woman of the ascetic ty+e) much li2e /arriet Sil3erman) selfFeffacin. to. conditions! At that time * could not $elie3e that the communist line was a scheme ad3ancin.ant and the hum$le! * identified myself with them! 'he 2ind of sensiti3ity some +eo+le ha3e for their church or their nation * had for the Union! * .in. to $elie3e its im+lications) * e8cused it on the . the worst days of 19 9 to 1941) the days of the So3ietF0a.ainst the 0a. co.e that durin. and the wea2) the thin.ross an error! 4ater on * had a chance to see the hi.e world! * had Goined as an idealist! 0ow * was $e.

uest was a flat HnoI from "rowder! Ce were ordered not to interfere with the decisions of (arcantonio! * sat in utter sur+rise at this command) for * had $elie3ed firmly that Party decisions were arri3ed at democratically! J3en worse was the ne8t! At the same time he +ro3ided su++ort for the mayor $ecause he was the latterDs +ersonal re+resentati3e in Jast /arlem! 'hrou.e to tal2 with Jarl "rowder) then leader of the Communist Party) concernin. alliances had nothin. to occur! *m+ortant tradeFunion leaders $e.h ner3ously a$out nothin.ress he was indis+ensa$le! "ecause he was a close friend of (ayor 4aNuardia he hel+ed .i3e the Party stren. record and the Party would su++ort the $etterF.ard to comin.) to acce+t a decision they had +re3iously sworn they would ne3er acce+t! .h him the mayor retained connections with a section of city +olitics which no mayor dares o3erloo2! "ut (arcantonio did not maintain his hold on his con.e for 0ew 1or2! Some of us had recommended endorsement of a %e+u$lican who had ser3ed in the State Senate on the %e+u$lican and 4a$or tic2ets) a man who had a$ly re+resented the Jast /arlem area! (arcantonio at that time was in alliance with 'ammany /all) and he insisted on the endorsement of a candidate who had a $ad to e8+lain away their o++osition) to that all we had to do was to show the Party leadershi+ his 3otin.le of the +roletariat!I *f) occasionally) * saw thin.Party! * still $ased acti3ity on my own standards of .ue on -cto$er =) 19=09 H ! ! ! all our morality is entirely su$ordinated to the interests of the class stru.ressional district without the Communist Party! At the meetin.s that made me uneasy) * rationali. whate3er to do with these .ualities) that it was not out to reform the world) $ut was $ent on ma2in.oodness) of honesty) and of loyalty! * failed to understand that the Party in to com+lain a$out what they termed unreasona$le demands made on their unions $y (arcantonio! Chen they had finished) "rowder told them $luntly that anyone who o++osed (arcantonio was e8+enda$le! * watched the union leaders listen as the Party leader deli3ered his edict! 'hey loo2ed li2e whi++ed curs! 'here was a short silence after "rowder finished) and * saw these men of im+ortance in their unions $e.ress of the %ussian 1oun.rou+ of Party and tradeF union leaders met in a +ri3ate home in Nreenwich &illa. &ito (arcantonio and his wor2 with the Party) and es+ecially in re. record and was more often a$sent from his des2 in Con.ualified candidate! "ut the answer to our re. a re3olution to control the world! * did not 2now then that to do so it was ready to use cutthroats) liars) and thie3es as well as saints and ascetics! * should ha3e 2nown) howe3er) had * reflected on the im+lications of 4eninDs s+eech deli3ered at the 'hird AllF%ussian Con. we discussed nominations for re+resentati3eFatFlar.ress than +resent! *n my nai3ete * thou. Communist 4ea.ed that the times demanded such actions! -nce * was startled from this calm assum+tion! A . elections! Present were se3eral mem$ers of the Polit$uro and a score of communist union leaders of the A!?! of 4! and the C*-! (arcantonio was in a 3ery s+ecial relation to the Communist Party! As a 3oice in Con.

uitously called the 'rade Union Committee to Jlect CinFtheFCar candidates! * had the Go$ assi.ainst the Communists $oth in the unions and in the American 4a$or Party! "ecause the Communists had wooed the intellectuals and li$erals who were in the 4a$or PartyB $ecause of the PartyDs alliance with (arcantonioDs Jast /arlem machine (a +ersonal machine)B $ecause of Party stren. the Party whi+ to 3arious leftFwin.ed the Social #emocrats from control of the 4a$or Party in e3ery $orou.! 'he Social #emocrats under the leadershi+ of Ale8 %ose of the (illinery Union and of #a3id #u$ins2y of the 4adies Narment Cor2ers Union had ori.ressional district! /e was to rationali.inally colla$orated in the $ in the new C*unions) the PartyFsu++orted candidates were 3ictorious in se3eral +rimary fi. school of +olitics were showin.i +act the $itterest fi. +osts in city and state elections! Cith the comin. unions for money) and forces) for the elections! 'he committee de3oted its ener.hts! 'hus they had $y 194= dislod. alliances with the #emocrats and the %e+u$licans for successi3e elections) each .e9 it was no dou$t all due to some e8i. with each other in ma2in.ation of an un$elie3a$le num$er of union mem$ers mo$ili. residue of resentment! *n 194=) * myself was thrown into the heart of 3iolent leftFwin.ns9 to defeat the #u$ins2y forces in "roo2lyn) and to win the nomination for (arcantonio in all three +olitical +arties in his con.ettin. of the American 4a$or Party won the +rimary elections in "roo2lyn after a $itter which included an a++eal to the courts! (arcantonio won the +rimary in all three +arties after the e8+enditure of incredi$le sums of money and the utili. of the of all was the one $etween the Social #emocrats and the Communists for control of the American 4a$or Party) which had $ecome the $alance of +ower in 0ew 1or2 State! 'he #emocratic Party could not carry the state without the su++ort of the 4a$or Party! 'he %e+u$licans could not carry the state without s+littin. +rimaries of that year saw a $itter fi.uarters at the Piccadilly /otel as secretary of a committee) u$i.ed $y the Party as can3assers in his district! . +olitics! #urin. an a+titude for +ractical +olitics which +ut the old machine +oliticians out of the runnin.Cith a sin2in.ency of +ractical +olitics a$out which * 2new nothin.i +act the Social #emocrats $e. the days of the So3ietF0a. of the American 4a$or Party! "y 3yin. heart * acce+ted it) too) and +rom+tly $e. in the %e+u$lican) #emocrat) and 4a$or +arty +rimaries! 'he communist win.h e8ce+t "roo2lyn! 'he s+rin. this new +olitical force! 'hose trained in the leftFwin.y to two $etween these two factions for the control of "roo2lyn! * was esta$lished $y the Party in head.n a.rou+ o$tained for its followers certain +laces on the $allot which would insure election if the Goint slate was 3ictorious! *n 19 > and 19 9 the com$ined American 4a$or Party forces had $een successful in .! 'he incident) howe3er) left me with a a cam+ai.ned me of a++lyin.

ation) contri$uted money and also information hel+ful to the cam+ai.n +led.n a. the hot summer days to hel+ the s2eleton force wor2in. district) and the one in the &illa.a3e social affairs for outFofFtown teachers at Colum$ia and 0ew 1or2 Uni3ersity! Ce ser3iced the summer schoolteachers and su$stitutes and we +re+ared for the comin. of three assem$ly districts) the famous Nreenwich & for a %e+u$lican or #emocratic leader) willin.ani.J3ery ni.ainst ?rederic Coudert for the State Senate! 'he 'eachers Union res+onded to the a++eal for hel+! 'he senatorial district was a +eculiar one) consistin.e 'enth) the sil2Fstoc2in.n * was e8hausted! 1et * went $ac2 to the 'eachers Union office and wor2ed durin.ent woman) (rs! Arthur Narfield /ayes! *t included +eo+le such as 4ouis "romfield) Samuel "arlow) and scores of other res+ecta$le +eo+le! -ne of the attorneys for Amtor.ainst CoudertI was officially under the chairmanshi+ of a fine and intelli. school term! *n that year the American 4a$or Party decided to su++ort the #emocratic candidate) 7erry ?in2elstein) districts where they hel+ed +eo+le ta2e literacy tests! 'hey manned the +olls! 'hey s+o2e on street corners durin. to do with the +rimary elections! "y the end of the +rimary cam+ai. the cam+ai. citi.n! * was mo3ed into a suite of offices at the (urray /ill /otel on Par2 A3enue and we esta$lished a front committee there made u+ of outstandin.e this a++eal to the .oin.n and listened in ecstasy to (arcantonio) who ended all his s+eeches with H4on. there! * thin2 we were the only teacher or.nments to let them wor2 on this cam+ai.ainst Coudert! 'here was hardly any #emocratic or.ation in Jast /arlem) which was increasin. is to reco. all summer! Ce .e was re+utedly tied so closely with the %e+u$licans that we esta$lished our own! 'his left the #emocratic or.ani. ?ifteenth) and the Puerto %ican Jast /arlem Se3enteenth! J8tremes of wealth and +o3erty were encom+assed in these districts) from fa$ulous Par2 A3enue homes to rat and 3erminFinfested tenements! 'he Communist Party released all teacher comrades from other assi.ned to Puerto %ican and 0e.s and to reali. li3e a free Puerto %ico)I a rallyin.ation which made a +ractice of 2ee+in.uads of automo$iles waited to ta2e them! 'eachers acted as $a$y sitters! Peo+le who would ha3e scorned wor2in.ens! H'he Allied &oters under (arcantonioDs control) as the 2ey to the election! 'he contest would $e won or lost in that district! .) the So3iet $usiness thousands of men and women com$ed the Jast /arlem district house $y house! 'he 3oters were 3isited many times! -n the first 3isit they were as2ed to si. some acti3ity .es to 3ote for (arcantonio on a s+ecific +arty tic2et! 0e8t they were reminded $y a caller of the date of the +rimary! And on the day itself they were 3isited e3ery hour until they went to the +olls! S.ani.e how it can $e used! /undreds of mem$ers of the 'eachers Union were assi.ani.ood in human $ein. cry which had a$solutely and without recom+ense) did the most menial tas2s $ecause the Party had told them that this was the way to defeat the Hfascists!I Call it mass hy+nosis if you li2e) $ut the im+ortant thin.ation in the sil2Fstoc2in.

ations! 'he State County and (unici+al Cor2ers were on the se3enth floor! 'he 'eachers Union too2 o3er the fifth floor! *t . district! "ut to lose (arcantonioDs district was a $low to my faith in indi3idual +eo+le in this stran.e leftFwin.ood friend of mine) and one of the human +eo+le in the Party! /e loo2ed at me) $ut * said nothin.! 'om +ut me in a ta8i! Chen * reached home) * went to $ed and sle+t twice around the cloc2! CHAPTER ELEVEN '/J CA% 1JA%S made e3erythin.otiated for affiliation with another communistFled union) the State County and (unici+al Cor2ers! Ce had $een 4ocal < of the A!?! of 4!B now we $ecame 4ocal <<< of the C*-! 'he Union set u+ new head.ed to do all he could for Senator Coudert and (arcantonio was res+onsi3e to the mayorDs re. difficult to do! ?inally) after $roodin.e Gust as dawn was $rea2in.ani.uests! "ut (arcantonio +romised hel+) and we made some money a3aila$le for the leaders of his machine! (y worst fears were confirmed when * listened to the election returns and 2new we had lost! * did not mind the loss of the sil2Fstoc2in. the teachers and +rofessors dis+laced $y the %a++FCoudert Committee) which was +ro3in.h the em+ty streets! Ce tal2ed of the Hmo3ementI and of the stran. o3er this +ro$lem) we decided to esta$lish a li$eral school for adults) thus /arry) one of (arcDs old ca+tains) dro3e me home! * was de+ressed) not only $ecause of the loss of the election) $ut $ecause of the lesson * had learned! Ce sto++ed at the &illa.uard closed) 'om and * wal2ed downtown to City /all throu.uarters at 1 Astor Place in a $uildin.e dead ends it often led to! Ce tal2ed of the o++ortunists who cluttered the road to that (ecca of +erfection on which we still fi8ed our eyes! Ce wal2ed across "roo2lyn "rid. once owned $y the Ale8ander /amilton *nstitute and later owned $y a cor+oration controlled $y one of the wealthiest communistFled unions) 4ocal 6< of the CarehousemenDs Union! *t had renamed the $uildin.ation of hel+in.a3e us +lenty of s+ace for +rofessional and social acti3ities! 'he Union had assumed the o$li. or. em+loyment and s+readin. education at the same time! . 'om (ooney /all! 4ocal 6< was rentin.* soon reali.uard and there met 'om -DConnor) la$or editor of P!(!) a . world! 'hat ni.htin.ed that (arcantonio) who had won the +rimary in all three +arties) was not fi.! /e 2new what had ha++ened! Chen the &an. too hard to carry the district for the American 4a$or Party a.e &an.ainst Coudert! /e did not care which +arty wonB he was the candidate in all three! "esides) (ayor 4aNuardia was +led. floors to unions and leftF win. seem unreal) e3en the Party! 'here was) howe3er) no lac2 of acti3ity and sometimes the Party had an im+ortant +art in it! 'he leaders of our 'eachers Union were unha++y $ecause they were without la$or affiliations) therefore * ne.

he was im+atient with the o3erwhelmin.e the Cor2ers School and the School for #emocracy! An astute Communist) a charter mem$er of the Party and $efore that a re3olutionary socialist) 'rachten$er.reater role! /e was enthusiastic a$out the School for #emocracy! -ften * had the feelin.ely of courses in (ar8ismF4eninism) courses in tradeFunion history) and courses in +o+ulari. was and is now one of the financial $i. Go$s in e8+erimental la$oratories! "ut the Party o$ser3ed our 3enture into education and made ready to $end it to its +ur+oses! Attached to the Party for some time had $een a school called the Cor2ers School) located at Party head.ani. of (ar8ist Adult Jducation schools which would ha3e a +atriotic loo2! 'he +atriots of the American %e3olution and of the Ci3il Car were to $e .nF minded Communists and the nati3e Americans who had felt it was an attem+t to sell a $ it or. to do with it! /is slo. on the corner of Si8teenth Street and Si8th A3enue) a stoneDs throw from St! ?rancis Ta3ier School) to house the new (ar8ist School! Plans were already on foot for a HCommunism *s 'wentieth Century Americanism)I had ir2ed $oth the forei.nness of the Party! Perha+s his days as child and youn. to .eois educational conce+ts! 'he school had a forei. the current line of the Party! 'he school was fran2ly one for communist indoctrination and no com+romise was made with $our.'he School for #emocracy was esta$lished with #r! /oward Selsam) formerly of the Philoso+hy #e+artment of "roo2lyn Colle.raduates of the most distin.i3e the Communist Party the a++earance of a nati3e American +arty to +re+are it for its new role in the war and in the +ostwar +eriod when it was e8+ected to +lay an e3en .e of a committee to mer.hly +rofita$le underta2in.! /e $ and to Goin it to the hard core of communist teachers from the Cor2ers School! Ale8ander 'rachten$er.ation! *n line with this it was decided to ta2e o3er the School for #emocracy with its core of +rofessors) .ed! 'he school was a success! Almost immediately our science teachers recei3ed wellF+ayin.eois colle.uished $our.e) as director) and with #a3id Noldway) formerly of 'ownsend /arris /i. man in Mansas had had somethin.i3en a new sort of honor K a (ar8ist status! 'he new school in 0ew 1or2 was named . was +ut in char.uarters! 'his school was conducted $y the Party for mem$ers and article! "ut with the war "rowder could wor2 with im+unity to con3ert the Party into an acce+ta$le American social and +olitical or.h School and also formerly state director of education for the Communist Party in 0ew 1or2) as secretary! *t was to $e housed also at 1 Astor Place and to use certain facilities Gointly with the 'eachers Union! * wor2ed hard to . wheels of the mo3ement! /e was also chief of the firm of *nternational Pu$lishers) which had a mono+oly on the +u$lication of communist $oo2s and +am+hlets and on the distri$ution of So3iet $oo2s and +am+hlets! 'his is a hi.ers! *ts curriculum consisted lar.n atmos+here a$out it! *t was run $y oldFtime Communists) halfFaffectionately and halfFcontem+tuously referred to as the H0ineteen ?i3ers!I Jarl "rowder and the national leadershi+ were $usy a $eautiful $uildin.

the 7efferson School of Social %esearch! *n Chica.o the school was named the A$raham 4incoln School) in "oston the 7ohn Adams School) and in 0ew %ochelle) the 'homas Paine School! 'hese schools were to +lay a +art in the Hthird re3olutionI that was to destroy the nation! 'rachten$er. once said to me that when communism came to America it would come under the la$el of H+ro.ressi3e democracy!I H*t will come)I he added) Hin la$els acce+ta$le to the American +eo+le!I 'he initial funds for the settin. u+ of the (ar8ist schools were) ironically enou.h) contri$uted $y wealthy $usiness +eo+le who were +ersonally in3ited to attend dinners at the homes of other men of wealth! 'hey came to hear Jarl "rowder analy,e current e3ents and +redict the future with em+hasis on the role the Party would +lay! 'here is no dou$t that Jarl "rowder) as chief of the Communist Party) was close to the seats of world +ower in those days) and that he 2new $etter than most Americans what was .oin. on) e8ce+t insofar as e3ents were war+ed and refracted $y his (ar8ist ideolo.y! 'he men who +aid their hundredFdollar admissions and contri$uted thus to the school funds $ecame +art of the .rou+ which Jarl "rowder was to call the H+ro.ressi3e $usinessmen)I meanin. those who were willin. to .o alon. on an international +ro.ram of communism! 'he lure was attracti3e9 e8+anded +rofits from trade with the So3iets! 'he +rice to $e +aid was unim+ortant to these wellFfed) wellFheeled men) who felt the world was their oyster! 'he +rice was res+ecta$ility for communism at home and leadershi+ of the So3iets a$road! * had no +art in the .rou+ which +lanned this new (ar8ist educational em+ire) thou.h * had $een the mo3in. s+irit in esta$lishin. the School for #emocracy! 'he trustees of the 7efferson School were not educatorsB they were 2ey communist fi.ures in the .rowin. hierarchy of a nati3e American leadershi+ for the Communist Party! 'here were amon. them +eo+le with un$elie3a$le $ac2.rounds) some of them (oscowFtrained) $ut they all had a surface of res+ecta$ility) e3en thou.h sometimes a $lurred surface! As * loo2 $ac2 * see that * ne3er ceased 2ee+in. for myself a small area of freedom into which my mind could esca+e! Some +hases of my life * was +erfectly willin. to ha3e controlled and e3en ensla3ed! * was conditioned to acce+t the 3iew that the ca+italist system was inefficient) .reedy) immoral) and decadent! (y schools and my readin. and the de+ression had +ut me in a.reement with President %oose3elt in wantin. to dri3e the moneychan.ers from the 'em+le! * was also willin. to follow the Party in its +ro.ram of +ractical +olitics) for here) too) the attac2 was u+on the .rossness and stu+idity of those in .o3ernment who sat in the seats of +ower with no +lan for the future! too) * hel+ed the Party .ain in +ower in the field of American education throu.h my wor2 with the 'eachers Union! * was always ready to hel+ in the stru..le for admission to the academic world of the intellectuals amon. our immi.rant +o+ulation who felt they faced discrimination! "ut * was wary of the PartyDs inner educational a++aratus! * was not drawn to the do.matic +edants of the PartyDs schools! 0o dou$t) su$consciously) * reali,ed that all this

was not education $ut +ro+a.anda) and at heart * was really still a student and a teacher! * wanted to read (ar8 and Jn.els and 4enin) $ut not under the tutela.e of those dra$) selfF effacin. fi.ures who +eo+led the PartyDs educational ;uarters! 'he Party leaders made fre;uent attem+ts to .et me to attend state and national trainin. schools! * was a++roached re+eatedly a$out the +ossi$ility of .oin. to school in (oscow) $ut * always +leaded that the immediate emer.encies of my wor2 in the Union made it im+ossi$le for me to .i3e time to such a duty! HPerha+s someday)I * told them! * had seen teachers) sailors) furriers) su$way conductors) housewi3es) some with thirdF .rade education and some with colle.e de.rees) lum+ed to.ether as students in these state and national trainin. schools and * had seen them come out with the same stam+ of dedicated uniformity! *t was a le3elin. +rocess that still .a3e them an odd sense of su+eriority) as if they were now +riests of a new cult! Cith the de3elo+ment of the new (ar8ist schools * tended to withdraw further from this +hase of the wor2! * one class at the 7efferson School) $ut * found no Goy in it! Chen * was offered the directorshi+ of the California 4a$or School * refused it without hesitation! * had the 3a.ue fear that if * allowed myself to $e drawn into this ty+e of indoctrination the last small refu.e where my mind found freedom would $e .one! 'he war years had +roduced interestin. +henomena in communistFled leftFwin. circles) not the least of which was +u$lic renunciation of the class stru..le! 'he Party announced that whole sections of the ca+italist class had Goined the Hdemocratic front)I the soFcalled H%oose3elt cam+ of +ro.ress!I 'he 3aily 4orker ne3er wearied of enumeratin. those who were clas+in. hands in a common +ur+ose) Communists) trade unions) sections of the #emocratic Party) and +ro.ressi3e ca+italists! 'hese made a coalition) the Party stated) that would win the war and later the +eace! 'he Communist Party now assumed the res+onsi$ility for esta$lishin. a disci+line o3er the wor2in. class! 0o em+loyer was more effecti3e or more relentless in chec2in. stri2es amon. the wor2ers) or in minimi,in. com+laints of wor2ers a.ainst ine;uities of and wor2in. conditions! Some em+loyers were deli.hted with this assistance! *t is startlin. to note that) while rose a little durin. those years) they did not com+are with the rise in +rofits and in mono+oly control of $asic necessities! *n other circumstances) Communists would ha3e $lasted the fact that war +roduction was chiefly in the hands of ten lar.e cor+orations and that A0 +er cent of the war +roduction was in the hands of a hundred firms! 0ow the Communists carefully muted such information! *nstead) they +layed on the wor2ersD feelin.s of +atriotism! *t was sad to o$ser3e that in the interest of its o$Gecti3es the Party e3en $arred the +rotests of the wor2ers who felt that) now that they were needed in the war factories) they win some ri.hts! 'he Communists o++osed the demands

3iolently! *n fact) a cam+ai.n of 3ilification was $e.un! *t was char.ed that the leaders of this mo3ement were 7a+anese a.ents! 'he Party did all it could to induce women to .o into industry! *ts fashion desi.ners created s+ecial styles for them and its son. writers wrote s+ecial son.s to s+ur them! Use of woman+ower in the war industries was) of course) ine3ita$le) $ut it also fitted into the communist lon.Fran.e +ro.ram! CarF+eriod conditions) they +lanned) were to $ecome a +ermanent +art of the future educational +ro.ram! 'he $our.eois family as a social unit was to $e made o$solete! After the 'eheran conference) the Party +ro.ram for shel3in. stri2es was +roGected into a +ermanent noFstri2e +olicy! Jach time American +olitical leaders emer.ed from an international conference) Crimea) 'eheran) and 1alta) the Communist Party announced a.ain its dedication to the winFtheFwar +lan! *ts leaders were dri3in. for a stron. war and +eace unity $etween the United States and the So3iet Union! J3erywhere the Party leadershi+ was $ein. +laced in +ositions of im+ortance so that they direct the homeFfront se.ments of the coalition! Communist leadershi+ was $ein. consulted and utili,ed $y those in +ower in .o3ernment! 'he dri3e for the second front $ Jarl "rowder into national +rominence) and we reali,ed that he was $ein. consulted $y such national leaders as Sumner Celles! No3ernment officials were utili,in. Communists to +ull to.ether di3er.ent .rou+s! Chen the %ussian Car %elief was $e.un) a .litterin. array of names of outstandin. citi,ens adorned its ele.ant stationery! Sum+tuous affairs launched %ussian relief in America! 'hese were attended $y +eo+le +rominent in society and .o3ernment! 'he Communist Party made the most of this! 0ow there emer.ed the %ussian *nstitute with its im+osin. head;uarters on Par2 A3enue! 'his was a so+histicated +ro+a.anda a.encyB it $ American educators) +u$lic officials) artists) youn. +eo+le of families of wealth into this leftFwin. world! ?amous names) &ander$ilt) 4amont) Chitney) ( min.led with those of communist leaders! 'he %ussian *nstitute was so res+ecta$le that it was allowed to .i3e inFser3ice courses to 0ew 1or2 City schoolteachers for credit! *n Al$any and in Cashin.ton a new cro+ of youn.) nati3e American Communists swarmed into the le.islati3e halls as le.islati3e re+resentati3es and +u$licFrelation and research aides to le.islators! Cith inside information on what was ha++enin.) they were a$le to .uide le.islators in the direction of So3ietFAmerican unity! 'hey hel+ed to +roduce do,ens of im+ortant +u$lic fi.ures at (adison S;uare Narden rallies) or.ani,ed under 3arious la$els $ut filled $y the ran2 and file of de3oted Party mem$ers! *t was a .litterin. society that was made u+ of %ussian di+lomats and %ussian $usiness a.ents) of Americans in e3enin. clothes) and artistic "ohemians in careless dun.arees) all of them cheerin. the re+eated a3owals of friendshi+ with the So3iet (otherland!

ht to come forward o+enly as a leader of the Party!I Si Nerson) he added) was .rades of +rotection which the Party .ht clu$s) and la$or lawyers who were . to the world $ecause of this communist +olicy of amity! Chen some days later * s+o2e at a $ud.estion) which * 2new was almost a command! * li2ed Nil! /e wore sha$$y) worn suits and he reminded me of /arriet Sil3erman and %ose Cortis and the other selfFsacrificin. the comforta$le way of life of some who were in +owerful +laces) where they had the su++ort of the Party $ut faced none of the disad3anta. the war +eriod * saw how o++ortunism and selfishness en.ation! Afterward Nil Nreen) 0ew 1or2 State chairman of the Communist Party) and Si Nerson) its le.) dedicated +eo+le! *n the Party * was $e. to it! "efore * left him * +romised Nil that * would thin2 seriously a$out his +ro+osal! * had +ersonal +ro$lems to consider if * too2 it) for it was in a way an irre3oca$le ste+! . .ratulations from %e+u$licans) #emocrats) and re+resentati3es of the ta8+ayersD or.ratulated me on my s+eech! 'hen Nil said decidedly9 H'he time has come) "ella) when you ou.ed with .ht it! /is +ro+osal had come to me at a time when * was tired of the 3aryin.i3en many comrades! 'hey wore e8+ensi3e clothes) li3ed in fine a+artments) too2 hearin.inally thou.a3e to its mem$ers) and tired of seein. 3acations at +laces +ro3ided $y men of wealth! 'here was) for one) Cilliam Ciener) former treasurer of the Party) mani+ulator for a score of $usiness enter+rises) who wore "roo2s "rothers suits) smo2ed e8+ensi3e ci.islati3e session of 194 * was $esie.i3en to the dri3e to $uild the Communist Party into a nati3e American +arty! 'his dissolution was a tactic meant to lessen fear in those Americans who did not $elie3e that So3ietFAmerican unity could $e achie3ed without dan. to see many +eo+le of a different stri+e! #urin. to the tal2 of the +eo+le millin.rill at the #e Citt Clinton /otel and there we were Goined $y C*men) $y local la$or lawyers) and a re+resentati3e of the ?armers Union! (y fa3orite waiter) a Party mem$er) too2 our order! * was only halfFlistenin.ars) and lunched only at the $est +laces! 'here were the tradeunion Communists who ru$$ed el$ows with underworld characters at communistFfinanced ni. around our ta$le) for Nil Nreen had startled me $y his a$ru+t su.reat im+etus was .oin. to a +ac2ed hall) ostensi$ly for my Union) * was in reality of $elon. across the PartyDs unity line in terms of the ta8ation +ro$lem! * recei3ed to American so3erei.uestions! J3erywhere * e8+lained the new +olicy of +eace) the new era that was comin. into the Army soon and there would $e need of a new le.islati3e re+resentati3e of the Party! HAnd we want you!I Ce had su++er in the .nty! Chen * arri3ed in Al$any for the le.e $y the Party $y assi.nment to communistFled trade unions and now were well esta$lished and comforta$le! "ut it was sha$$y) seriousFfaced Nil Nreen who was for me a 3isi$le reassurance that the Communist Party was still what * had ori.islati3e re+resentati3e) con.ani.innin..Chen in 194 Stalin announced the dissolution of the Communist *nternational) a .

e of la$or for the Polit$uro) 3ilified 4ewis! Chen the Communists shifted their su++ort) 4ewis was dro++ed as +resident of the C*.and Phili+ (urray was elected in his +lace! #urin. their emotions now for and now a.h it meant standin. them) * $e. him and as2in.ot used to these $itter e8+ressions of hate! And since hate $e.s! * . to the United States e3en thou.arded as a +eacema2er! 0ow) little $y little) * had ac.! ?or it is a fact) true and terri$le) that the Party esta$lishes such authority o3er its mem$ers that it can swin.nty e3en o3er conscience as to dictate when it shall hate! "efore 19 <) for instance) the Party had +reached hatred of 7ohn 4! 4ewis as a la$or dictator! 0o stories a$out him were too 3ile! /e was accused of murder and +illa.ets hate) often those under attac2 also res+onded with hate! /earin.ned to attac2 a resolution introduced $y the socialists in su++ort of a ?red "eals) once a Communist) and indicted for murder in the Nastonia te8tile stri2e! /e had Gum+ed $ail and esca+ed to %ussia $ut he did not li2e life in the So3iet Union and insisted on returnin. and dri3in.nment to s+ea2 a. u+ a certain area of freedom) since * would $e . u+ fields of wor2 not o+en to an a3owed Communist! *n e3erythin.ence) that he has no awareness of the +lans the hi.rou+ intelli.ainst the same +erson or issue! *t claims such so3erei. a.radually .s %oy /udson and Cilliam Q! ?oster) in char.i3in.ainst Cill2ie) and 7ohn 4! 4ewis ris2ed his leadershi+ in the C*.ain in 1940) when the Party decided to su++ort %oose3elt a.rown out of a la$or dis+ute! * did not 2now ?red "eals) and from a +urely la$or +oint of 3iew * should ha3e $een sym+athetic! *nstead) * acce+ted the assi. my years in the 'eachers Union * .ed Communist! *n the lon.a3e a full measure of de3otion to Party wor2s) and * felt a dee+ attachment and loyalty to the +eo+le in its ran2s! * considered myself as +art of a . trial! 'he socialists were the Party! /ow it came a$out * cannot tell! All * 2now as * loo2 $ac2 to that time is that my mind had res+onded to (ar8ist conditionin. on the unions to 3ote for Cill2ie) the Communists screamed in3ecti3e) and in +ri3ate meetin.nificant was the fact that * had made their hates my hates! 'his was what esta$lished me as a fullFfled.) that he o+erates as the +hysical +art of what is considered a hi.un to ado+t the hates of a . toward the day when socialism would trium+h! J3en more si.her intelli.e in his march to +ower in the (iners Union! Suddenly) in 19 6) 4ewis $ecame the hero of the Communist Party! A. e8ce+t name * was a Communist! * acce+ted disci+line and attended meetin.uired a whole mass of +eo+le to hate9 the .rou+! 'his is the +eculiar +arado8 of modern totalitarianism! 'his is the 2ey to the mental ensla3ement of man2ind9 that the indi3idual is made into nothin.$y callin.) * would $e .?or one thin.ainst the resolution to hel+ him! * had $e.rou+ loo2in. tradesFunion su++ort for him $ecause the indictment had .i3in.o * had $een una$le to hate anyoneB * suffered des+erately when someone was mistreatedB * was re.ence has for .her intelli.her .an to ta2e sides and in the end acce+ted the PartyDs hates as my own! -nce at the national con3ention of the American ?ederation of 'eachers in 19 A * was assi.ence and acts at the will of that hi.rou+s and indi3iduals who fou.

ht not to incriminate himself) he really means the ri.ed +ower! 'he Communists +er3ert this safe.rou+ of which he is only a ner3e end! Chen he tal2s of freedom of s+eech) he means freedom for the communist . her forth as a candidate for the Union elections of 1944! 'echnically * was to remain as the not to incriminate the communist .a3e a farewell affair in my honor in 7une 1944! *t was a fine illustration of the 2ind of unity which this Union) now a sturdy arm of the Communist Party) was a$le to esta$lish! 'he farewell +arty was called HA 'ri$ute to #ear "ella!I As * read today the $lur$s on the +ro.rou+ throu.rou+ to s+ea2 as a . leadershi+ in $ehalf of all the children K all the teachers K the im+ro3ement in +u$lic education K the fi.ainst racial intolerance!I 'he chairman was my old friend) Professor (! -n the +latform were outstandin.uard $y first ensla3in.ressmen) and Gud.s! 0ow * found myself faced with two tas2s9 to +re+are myself for my new life) and to effect an orderly withdrawal from the 'eachers Union! ?or se3eral years * had +ur+osely hel+ed to $rin.ot the necessary a++ro3al $y the communist leadershi+ of the teachers! *t was then an easy matter to $rin.islati3e re+resentati3e for the 0ew 1or2 district! Nil was +leased and insisted that * $ the transition immediately) so * s+ent some time in Party head.h School! %ose had a fine mind and had had some trainin.hts of the American Constitution was written to +rotect indi3iduals a.uard in the Party fraction in the Union would not) * 2new) dare o++ose her o+enly! She was my choice as successor to the +ost * had lo3ed) and with the a++ro3al of Nil and %ose Cortis we .rams were read from scores of assem$lymen and state senators) from tradeFunion leaders) $oth communist and noncommunist) con.ed +ower! 'his 2ind of conditionin. to do with my decision to $ecome a cardF carryin.aret Schlauch of 0ew 1or2 Uni3ersity! 'ele. Communist! *n (arch) 194 ) * . forward new Party mem$ers for +osts of res+onsi$ility in the 'eachers Union leadershi+! -ne of these was %ose %ussell) who had tau.ence! 'he "ill of %i.ainst centrali. in news+a+er wor2! She had a human a++roach to +eo+le and +ro$lems! She was not as yet stam+ed into the o$3ious Communist Party mold! She was +ersona$le and wellFli2ed) and the old .a3e my consent to Nil NreenDs +ro+osal to $ecome an o+en Party leader! * too2 o3er Si NersonDs +osition as le.rou+ tal2s a$out the ri.ram * can $ut sha2e my head sadly! * read there of the leaders come to honor me) for * had won many of these +eo+le to a tolerance for the Union $y a sincere es+ousal of the needs of the schools! Amon. the .uarters and attended all ?rench in 'homas 7efferson /i. the indi3idual so that he $ecomes the marionette of the centrali.islati3e re+resentati3e of the 'eachers Union until the elections were held and until %ose %ussell was installed +u$licly! 'he Union .her intelli. him! Chen a +erson conditioned $y a totalitarian . and untirin. had somethin.h the mouth of the indi3idual who has $een selected $y the hi.

the lo$$yists) the le.) it remained un$elie3a$ly dra$! ?or a lon. time the Communists had resisted any attem+t to $eautify the +lace $ecause that was re.ical .an to s+end +art of each day at Party head. -n the ninth floor was the head. Com+any! 'he fifth held the 0ew 1or2 State leadershi+! 'he si8th had the +u$lication offices of the 1iddish +a+er) the 6rei%eit.ation it controlled was sendin.ular hours and my limited income would ma2e it difficult! *nstead) * continued to mo3e in a world of men who were determined to create new ty+es of human $ein.ift from the Union) a modernistic water color which still han.uarters at < Jast 'welfth Street! 'his $uildin.+eo+le who . and the 7ewish Commission! 'he se3enth and ei.rown to res+ect and lo3e! %ose %ussell +resented me with a .ani. culti3ated! *n (arch 194 * $e.n to clean u+ the $uildin.) which ran from 'welfth Street to 'hirteenth Street) was owned $y the Party! -n the first floor was the Cor2ers@ "oo2sho+ and entrance to the frei.eois +retentiousness! 'he only +ictures on the walls were those of 4enin) (ar8) and Stalin! 'he only decorations were %ed fla.reeted me were Charles /endley) /onora$le /ulan 7ac2) then in the Assem$ly) and 7ud. children! "ut the comrades dissuaded me! 'hey reminded me * could not o3erFcome the le.islators) and the +ress corres+ondents! * was in Al$any fre.s! .s on my lawFoffice wall! *t is a .lessness of this +art of my life! CHAPTER TWELVE * /A# 0-C "JC-(J an elder statesman of the 'eachers Union! * retained my mem$ershi+ as an honorary mem$er and at the direction of the Party * remained on the to+ communist committee! * hel+ed %ose %ussell esta$lish her leadershi+ and * tried to +ass on to her what * had learned o3er the years! * introduced her to the +u$lic officials with whom * had wor2ed! She did not ha3e to face the hostility * met when first * went to Al$any) for the Party had .hth floors were used $y the 3aily 4orker. !alone) and * 2new) too) that irre.e Anna Mross) whom * had .ood reminder) in its com+lete confusion of su$Gect matter) of the distortion of the actual) the confusion and and +assen.! 'he third floor housed the 0ew 1or2 County a++aratus! 'he fourth was used to store the $oo2s of the *nternational Pu$ ele3ators that ser3ed the whole $ handica+s of ado+tion for a woman li3in. many re+resentati3es to Al$any! 'he Party now had allies amon.rou+! * was acce+ted $y them and * dealt with them in the direct $ut im+ersonal manner * had lon.uently as the re+resentati3e of the Communist Party and was a$le to s+end much time with %ose! 'he +re3ious year my hus$and o$tained a di3orce down South! Shortly thereafter * heard he had remarried! 'hese e3ents and the death of my mother led me to immerse myself more com+letely than e3er in my wor2 for the Union and the Party! /owe3er) * missed a +ersonal family life and * often tal2ed of ado+tin.rown in +ower) and the or.arded as $our.uarters of the national leadershi+ of the Party! #es+ite a cam+ai.s who would conform to the $lue+rint of the world they confidently e8+ected to control! * li3ed only as +art of an ideolo.

e and ty+e of frames) were +laced in identical +ositions) none lower) none hi.ra+hs of the American leadershi+ a++eared! * came on the scene Gust after the that my . +olitics would aid them! So Phili+ 7ones) Allen Noodwin) and * found suita$le offices at =< Cest ?ortyFthird Street! Ce esta$lished the firm and .e why the Party had no lon.rowin. and welfare! Chen * com+lained a$out this) Nil said9 :"ella) we are a re3olutionary +arty) not a reform .rou+! Ce aren@t! As * $e.ot e.ned to do * was ama.o to the Party head.Fran.hted when * discussed the +ossi$ility of esta$lishin.un! 'he walls . the a$ode of some stran.eois structure!: * $e.ed hi.ra+hs of the mem$ers of the Polit$uro) each e8actly identical in si. lawyers who wanted to +ractice in the la$or field! 'hey thou.ram for welfare) hos+itals) schools) or child care! 'hey +la.rams from the 3arious ci3ilFser3ice unions! Such reforms) if they fitted in) could $e ada+ted to the taste of the moment! "ut reforms were anathema to communist lon. to +atch u+ this $our. +ower in leftFwin.s of the Polit$uro with Nil Nreen! 'here * found Jarl "rowder) Cilliam Q! ?oster) "o$ (inor) 7im ?ord) 7ac2 Stachel) 7ohn Cilliamson) and Jli. at them) * had the feelin.iari. the walls of the ninth floor! 4oo2in.hastly cream with $rown trim! 4enin and Stalin .ual s+ace on the walls and the +hoto.a.Fran.a$eth Nurly ?lynn in attendance! "rowder seemed the undis+uted leader) $ut the others did not seem coerced or intimidated) as later they testified they had $een! 'he meetin.ot off to a .uarters for fear of +olice sur3eillance! * set u+ $usiness with two .e +ro.ood start! "ut * found little time for the +ractice of law! (y office $ecame a +lace where * met Party and nonFParty +ersons en.ed +ro.her than the other! 'hey ran. was com+leted F a .ed at the lac2 of files of material on social .ed in common enter+rises! Jarl "rowder was then +re+arin.ot new +aint! 0ew +hoto.s were li2e meetin.e) silent men and women! At first the e8cessi3e +recaution sur+rised me) $ut * was to learn that many of the +eo+le who entered that center of intri.s of a $oard of directors) one in which all conformed willin.Under the im+etus of "rowder@s attem+t to ma2e the Communist Party American) a cleanu+ Go$ was $e.h alon.y) which stood instead for re3olution and dictatorshi+ of the +roletariat! 'he Party wanted me to retain my contacts with the noncommunist world) which had $een so easy while * re+resented the 'eachers Union) $ut which * 2new would $e difficult as an a3owed Communist! Nil was to +re+are for the wor2 * was assi.e secret cult) and * was $oth attracted and re+elled! #aily as * entered my office on the fifth floor .ates and doors were o+ened and then loc2ed $y stran. * was enterin.uestions such as to reali.e strate. for the Party con3ention of 1944! At this con3ention * was to ma2e the +u$lic announcement of my Party affiliation! Nil told me that they were . a law office midtown which * could use to meet nonFParty friends of the Party who would not .ue needed +rotection! * went to se3eral meetin.

h "lac2ie (yers) 3iceF+resident of the 0ational (aritime Union and his wife "eth (c/enry) a writer for the 3aily 4orker. 7ohn %o. her closest friends were 'ed 4ewis) 3iceF+resident of the 0ational (aritime Union) 7ose+h Curran) ?erdinand Smith) and others of the union leadershi+! 'he seamen durin.ents of the Party) * now $e.e) Susan Coodruff! ?erdinanda had come to communism intellectually and remained $ecause) li2e Susan) she ne3er saw its ruthless side! /er two dau. the wor2in. them came Ca+tain ( them what to do and what was e8+ected of them! 'hat s+rin. hours in restaurants and cafeterias) meetin. Anita Chitney and my former tenant in the &illa.ham) lurid stories of how she had $uried Communist Party records in the sand at her mother@s summer home on Ca+e Cod! She was out of a Go$! * offered to share my a+artment) and then +ersuaded the 'eachers Union to set u+ an em+loyment $ureau and to ma2e her its director! 0ancy came from a . with Party +eo+le from all wal2s of life) e8+lainin.hters had followed her into the Party and 0ancy@s sister (ary) a writer of some note) had left her American hus$and and ta2en their infant son and .ineers) chief stewards) +um+men) $oatswains) and ordinary seamen! Some came only for a sin.le +arty) $ut others were the first s+endin.) of the 0ational (aritime Union $rou.ood "oston family! * 2new her mother) ?erdinanda %eed) who was one of the three old ladies who technically owned the 3aily 4orker.) caGolin. with +eo+le! Some were from the ci3ilFser3ice unions! (any of them were men from the shi+s) for amon.reat 3itality and a lo3e for social life! Chen * came home at ni.ations of Ste+hen "irmin. * had a roommate! 'hrou. .) ur. the other two $ein. +eo+le for whom she had hel+ed find Go$s when she wor2ed for the State Jm+loyment "ureau! Also she had .ular 3isitors! -ne to $ecome a ca+tain) and scores of * found our a+artment swarmin. those war days were to %ussia to li3e! 0ancy had 3isited her there! 0ancy had many friends a tall) slender) redF haired seaman in 2ha2i shirt and trousers who had $een a friend of Paddy Chalen! :%ed): as his friends called him) +ro3ed a fine addition to the +arty for he tal2ed well and had .es) for there were o3ertime $onuses and s+ecial allotments for war ris2! "efore * 2new it my home $ecame a center for 0ational (aritime Union leaders and seamen of e3ery ran2! Amon. a list of close to a hundred trade unionists who would also Goin the Party o+enly at the same time! 4i2e many of the liaison a. of 194 was memora$le for the new friends * met! * had mo3ed to an a+artment on Se3enth A3enue near ?ourteenth Street! 'he rent was small for it was o3er a restaurant! 0e3ertheless it was a +leasant flat which could easily $e shared for it had two rooms in front and two in $ac2 and a 2itchen and $ath in $etween! "efore lon. * met 0ancy %eed) who had recently $een fired) with much +u$licity) from a 0ew 1or2 State 4a$or #e+artment Go$ $ecause of e8+osure of her communist acti3ity) $y Nodfrey P! Schmidt) then #e+uty *ndustrial Commissioner! 'he +ress carried) as a result of the in3esti.+re+arin.ood wa.

num$er of Puerto %ican) Cest *ndian) and 0e.h$orhood that had once $een *rish and where there still remained a scatterin.ned to the .e! /is mother was a ?rench Canadian) a con3entF$red .nore it! *t was as if this man@s words were the echo of my own unformulated fears! "ut they did not alter my decision to $e formally inducted into the Party leadershi+! ?or years * had functioned with the Party without a Party card or other formal indication of run $y an *talian s+inster! 0ear$y was a .ainst these conditions! 'here@s no dou$t that out of it all re3olution may come F the way the Communists want it to F $ut what will come after thatE Chat will this crowd do when they@3e .ue! Ce all li3ed to.h$orhood $ecause) as a Party functionary) * wanted to wor2 in this community and * wished to study its s+ecial +ro$lems! * was assi. that sometimes came o3er me) e3en with the South and lost an arm in that $attle! Ce tal2ed late into the ni.h * tried to i.ot their re3olutionE * hate to thin2 a$out it! "ut *@m +retty sure they ha3en@t .randmother was the first white woman in that state! As he tal2ed of his +eo+le you 2new he was +roud of his herita.a3e me my first +arty card) and when he as2ed to which $ranch * wanted to $e assi.ard for the safety of his life! /e was not a :class enemy!: As he tal2ed) * sensed the uneasy a.ood nei.irl) and he said he) too) was raised a Catholic! /is .iance! 0ow Nil Nreen . of *rish and *talian families) $ut where there were an increasin.n +orts in China and *ndia and Africa and South America! *@3e fou.a3e one floor in my house to Clotilda (cClure and her hus$and 7im! (rs! (cClure had wor2ed for me in the early days of my marria.e when we li3ed at the house on Jle3enth Street! * was ha++y to ha3e them in the house $ecause we were .randfather who fou.ot the answer!: * was startled to hear this sort of tal2 from a man who had stu$$ornly wor2ed and fou.ood friend of the minister and his family! 0e8t to it was a Puerto %ican $ J+isco+al church and * $ecame a .ned * named the section in Jast /arlem! 'o $ecome effecti3e in that area * now mo3ed to a house on u++er families! * called our $loc2 the street of all nations! -n the corner of 10=d Street was a 0e.rocery store owned $y an *rishman from the old country) who s+o2e with a $ro.ton A3enue) a nei.field) *llinois! * told him of my former hus$and@s .ht and * learned that he had left his Church and $ecome an *CC and had wor2ed with the Communist Party at times! * told him +roudly of my recent decision to $ecome an o+en wor2er in the Party! #u$iously) he as2ed) :Are you sure that is what you wantE: and as * loo2ed sur+rised) he continued9 :1ou see) * don@t thin2 they ha3e the answer! * sim+ly can@t ma2e myself $elie3e that we are only clods of earth and that when we die) we die and that@s all! *@3e seen $ad conditions in lots of +laces) on shi+s) in Gails) and in forei.ood friends and also $ecause Clotilda hel+ed me with the care of the house! * had mo3ed into this +articular nei.h$ors! * .randfather from Cisconsin had $een 2illed at the $attle of Shiloh and was $uried in S+rin.many stories to tell! /e came from (innesota! /e said his .ether in +eace as .ht for la$or) often with a rec2less disre.

made these sim+le +eo+le so ha++y as to recei3e one of his letters from the ca+ital) and they carried them in their +oc2ets and dis+layed them +roudly! *t did not matter e3en if the letter said nothin.ated a the fact that they 2new a con.s) 2nown rac2eteers) am$itious lawyers) and +olitical o++ortunists loo2in.ed to no +arty! 'hey followed (arc as a +ersonality! 'he Nari$aldi $ranch of the Communist Party was a $loc2 from his clu$! 'his $ranch of fifty or si8ty mem$ers consisted chiefly of *talians) 7ews) 0e.roes) and ?inns! Some of the *talians were oldFtime anarchists! 1et they felt at home with the Communists if only $ecause of their atheism and $elief in 3iolence! * found +lenty of wor2 to@ do in Jast /arlem) $ut * soon learned that the 4a$or Party and its acti3ities) the Communists) were concerned mainly a$out .ht u+ on 4enin@s thesis that im+erialism is the last sta. +laced communist +artici+ation in the mainstream of American life) and there was amon. Nil .ue) mem$ers of local .o3ernment wor2ers on a state) local) and national le3el) of the mass or.oin.ani. for the crum$s of his +olitical fa3or! 'here were also +eo+le of the nei.ani.ations! All o3er the $uildin.islati3e it mi.ed the le. local Communist Party in his district) +erha+s $ecause he thou.e of im+erialism had come to an end) that 'eheran had canceled out (unich) and that So3ietFAmerican unity would continue indefinitely after the war! 'o.h! /e could ha3e $een elected on a Cooden *ndian tic2et $y these +eo+le for they $elon.h$orhood who needed a friend! (arc listened to their stories) assi.ani. tal2 and acti3ity! At a state $oard meetin.ton on his letterhead as %e+resentati3e! 0othin.ressman who wrote them a letter was enou.ations of women) and of @the youth or.Nari$aldi "ranch of the Party located on 116th Street) a Party clu$ which concentrated on recruitin.uarters on 'welfth Street! 'here * or. out the 3ote! Certainly they were not concerned a$out the welfare of the +eo+le! 'his was a new ty+e of +olitical machine) attractin. there was a noticea$le feelin.irls) .et in his way when he made fast deals with the di3erse forces! /is own center of +olitical acti3ity was a $rownstone clu$house on 116th Street near Second A3enue! 'here con.islati3e wor2 of the unions) chiefly the unions of .ue +romises of future social $etterment! "y 7anuary 1944 * was firmly esta$lished at Party head. us less and less leftFwin.ram of the PartyB $ut) more im+ortant still) * su+er3ised the le.e of ca+italism! Nil now said that the a. not only the 3oters $ut the actual +recinct wor2ers $y 3a.e assortment of smooth) so+histicated communist $oys and . in the .ether) he added) the United States and the So3iet would sol3e the world@s colonial +ro$lems and indeed all other world +ro$lems! .ned lieutenants to their cases) or called on communistFled unions for hel+! /e wrote his +eo+le many letters from Cashin.ame of +olitical intri. *talians! 'he clu$ was ineffecti3e and dra$) due in +art to the fact that *talians in America were loath to Goin the Communist Party and in +art also to &ito (arcantonio) who re+resented the American 4a$or Party and acti3ely wor2ed for the Communist Party! "ut he did not relish a . of e8citement and o+timism! "rowder@s $oo2) &ictory and A!ter.a3e a tal2 on the new era at hand) and startled us with +ers+ecti3es new to those who had $een $rou. and

su++ort of "rowder $y Nil was no sur+rise) for we all loo2ed on Nil as "rowder@s henchman and his choice to succeed him! A 3ote was ta2en to inter+ret 'eheran in their wor2! ?or e3ery acti3ity 'eheran was the 2ey! /u.rou+s and all classes! 'he +olitical line which for two years had $een called the :#emocratic ?ront: now $ecame the :0ational ?ront!: 'hat Christmas 'eheran did cancel out "ethlehem for us! 'he artists and writers who followed the Communists $e. the new American line! 'here were a few . the action of the national Polit$uro to e8+el #arcy! 4i2e all 3otes in the Communist Party) it was unanimous! * was startled $y the a +leasant sense of security) $ut $y 7anuary we heard rum$lin.uarters had heard nothin.ton! 'he con3ention that year was held at %i3erside Pla. Party con3ention! #issension had arisen amon. o+en Party mem$ers! .nificant unions) Goined me in $ecomin. the Polit$uro decision to e8+el #arcy) a decision with which he o$3iously a letter from the Central Committee of the ?rench Communist Party) a++ro3in.reed! dis+layed a.ent reasons for not ma2in.s and +olitical s2its! ?or some time this line $rou.e for "rowder in national +olitics! Ce were confident of the Party@s im+ortance in the current American scene! Ce 2new "rowder was on the inside trac2 on news of the war from o3erseas and from Cashin.e murals commemorated it as well as cafe society son. the leaders! Sam #arcy) the Party or.s of trou$le from the ninth floor as they +re+ared for the comin.reed with the +ro+osed chan. a +u$lic declaration! *n the end only two) and these from insi.ether at the con3ention of 1944 with a risin.e of the Party line and Nil announced at a 0ew 1or2 State "oard meetin.e! 0e3ertheless he had $owed to the maGority! And we came to.ned a.ani.ates) many tradeFunion leaders and men of national re+utation were there! 'he Communist *nternational had $een) at %oose3elt@s insistence) technically dissol3ed the +re3ious year) $ut se3eral of its mem$ers were in 0ew 1or2 and came to our con3ention! ?rom ?rance) 4ucien (idol $rou. $ut 'eheran! Chat had ha++ened at that conference was $y no means clear to us! Ce did 2now that "rowder was writin. oldFtime trade unionists who did not li2e the new trend and one said sarcastically) :'his is the con3ention in which the wor2ers and the $osses $ecome $edfellows!: (y own role) as * ha3e said earlier) was to announce +u$licly my adherence to the Party! *n this * was to $e Goined $y a$out a hundred trade unionists! Chen the time came) almost all candidates chosen had found ur. with it! Ce also 2new that 'eheran was now the +assword) that it meant ma8imum coFo+eration of Communists with all .ma: to meet a new situation! -nly a few days $efore they had all called him :comrade!: Cith the e8+ulsion of the dissident #arcy) +eace rei. +resti. another $oo2 dealin.' from California) disa.ainst this man who) Nil said) refused to throw aside :re3olutionary do. Party mem$ershi+ and .h #ecem$er) 194 ) we at head.rum$lin.a) a hotel on Cest Se3entyFsecond Street! *t was well attended! "esides the dele.rowin.ain! Ce heard that Cilliam Q! ?oster had also $een critical of the +ro+osed chan.

ates reFesta$lished it under the name of the Communist Political Association) with the same leaders) same or.uarters to 0ew 1or2! /ere she e8ercised a +owerful influence o3er the risin.s and a terrace that loo2ed out o3er the city and the Jast %i3er! (arcantonio) o3er whom she also had .ani.ures as Jarl "rowder) %oy /udson) Charles Mrum$ein) and others of the Polit$uro! * had first met her in the thirties when she was e8ecuti3e secretary of the +owerful *nternational 4a$or #efense) a mass or.o family! She was assi.ani.reat influence and whom she had trained in leftF win. +olitics) was there that e3enin.led many $oth in and out of the Party! * had listened closely durin. clothes! Chen we left) * said a little thou.B and so were %o$ert (inor and his wife! J3eryone e8ce+t (arc wore tra.ned to wor2 with Charles %uthen$er.reat financial resources and wide contacts with the le. of a con3ention of a Party in which she had .htfully to the friend who had $ me) :'his could $e the new aristocracy of our country!: Chy Anna #amon 2illed herself * ne3er learned! 'he rumors were that she had $ro2en with "rowder on the new +olicy! 'he Party carefully s+read the im+ression that she had cancer and had ta2en this way out of +ain! "ut the $e.ement that a Communist Party mem$er should $e li3in.'he first e3enin. e3ent! Some oldFtime functionaries could not understand it! Some +retended to see in it an attem+t to cancel out the +rofession! 'his was the committee which or.e time to choose for her e8it from life F if indeed she did ta2e her own life! At this con3ention Jarl "rowder@s s+eech callin.ic news9 Anna #amon had Gum+ed to her death from the window of a near$y hotel! An im+ortant au8iliary mem$er of the Polit$uro) Anna was the dau.innin.reat +ower was a stran.hter of a wealthy Chica.s of 4enin! "ut the Party machine wor2ed with +lanned +recision! 'he American Communist Party dissol3ed itself and then $y another resolution the dele. to her home on Jast Si8teenth Street and * remem$er my ama. for the dissolution of the Communist Party was) ne8t to Anna@s suicide) the most sur+risin. in such a la3ish a+artment) with fine +aintin. of the con3ention $rou. the con3ention and it was not at all clear to me! * 2new) of course) that one immediate reason was to lay the $asis for leadershi+ of the Communists for the reelection of %oose3elt) since Jarl "rowder was the first to call +u$licly for his reFelection to a . Party leadershi+! She was re+uted to ha3e de3elo+ed for the Party such fi.ation) same friends! * was elected as a mem$er of the 0ational Committee of this Communist Political Association) which $rou.) the first secretary of the American Communist Party) and had come Jast after his death when the Party shifted its head.ation with .ed communist +artici+ation in the Scotts$oro and /erndon cases) and in the Nastonia and other la$or stri2es! A friend too2 me one me into its fo+ leadershi+! * was now su++osedly a +art of the inner circle! 'he new chan..e of name +u.

y) such as :Polit$uro): to American e8+ressions such as :national $oard!: Some of us 2new) howe3er) that thou.ation he was ha3in.oin. of more than fi3e hundred communist teachers and their friends at the 7efferson School on the new communist +ers+ecti3es as a++lied to education! * held out the +ros+ect of a new a++roach to education soon to $e disclosed $y American leaders who controlled the +urse .ned to s+ea2 at a meetin.a. a %oose3elt 3ictory! *t was necessary first to $rin. research and at the heart of the im+ortant thin. so swiftly! (y duties were 3arious! * continued to e8ercise control o3er the communist teachers! "efore * had left the Union * had $een a$le to lay the $asis for affiliation of the 'eachers Union with the 0JA! *n 7une 1944 * was assi.ed socialist nation! 'he con3ention o3er) we turned to the most im+ortant item on the Party@s a.le +arty! *n that case the Communist Political Association would $ecome a sort of ?a$ian Society) doin.s that were . to do! "y those who thou.hli.uic2 acce+tance of the decision of the con3ention! Jach of us on the 0ational Committee attended little secret meetin. ?reedom /ouse as a memorial to Cendell Cill2ie refused the offer +u$licly! After that the Communist Political Association mo3ed inde+endently in its selfFa++ointed tas2 of +romotin.e to the So3iet Union of mutual coFe8istence and continued +ostwar So3ietFAmerican unity! *f that +led. social) economic) and +olitical ideas to direct America@s de3elo+ment into a fullFfled.e were 2e+t and if the march to world communist control could $e achie3ed $y a di+lomatic unity arisin.h "rowder was term! * also 2new that the new name had a less ominous sound to American ears! J3en so) it had $een a drastic thin.ani.ani. difficulties) $ecause of numerous +rofessional re3olutionaries who could not they 2new the reason it was e8+lained to me thus9 the current line in world communism was now $ased on the %oose3elt +led.n communist terminolo.ation to .ani.s) s+o2e to the comrades) e8+lained the new +ers+ecti3es) made them feel they were ri.esture of amity to the Social #emocrats who were also intent on this election! "ut #a3id #u$ins2y and others in char.enda) the reF election of President %oose3elt for a fourth term! ?or this end the 0ational Committee met immediately after the con3ention! "rowder +ro+osed that the Party contri$ute fi3e thousand dollars to hel+ de3elo+ the Cill2ie (emorial) no dou$t as a . out of official So3ietFAmerican relations) then there would $e no need of a militant classFstru. on! Ce hi.e of the +roGect of $uildin. the 3arious districts and su$di3isions of the the a++earance of the or.e from forei.ations) and for the chan.e their s+eech) manner) and way of thin2in.reed with us in this! 'his was true) for his +ers+icacity had $een +raised $y Calter 4i++man and other +u$licists! /e was +raised also for the new constitution of the Communist Political Association) written in conformity with AmericanFty+e or. in +romotin.hted "rowder@s astuteness and our confidence in him and told how +rominent +eo+le outside the Party a.

+ower) was the directi3e center of the cam+ai.innin.ani.ens could not do! *n this election the Communists ser3ed as the maGor coFordinatin.ani.h .s of the nation! * ur.ressional #istrict and the $uildin.rou+ differentiated itself from the Communists and often attac2ed them! *n re+ly the Communists mo3ed into action! . +ro.n was in full swin.e 3otin.ed) with mem$ers in $oth maGority +arties) and within trade unions) and with control of small la$or +arties) could ser3e as a $rain to do what lar.s the lar.ned two immediate tas2s9 the defeat of /amilton ?ish in! the twentyFninth Con. factor! *n the little town of Cats2ill) on a $ri. 0ew 1or2 +a+ers) set the line for hundreds of news+a+ers and radio stations in the hinterland! ?or the success of this election the American 4a$or Party mo3ed into hi.row into a +ro.ed the communist teachers to e8ercise their influence for unity on all teachers@ and citi.i3en $y Nil and other leaders of the new 0ational "oard! As an official mem$er of the 0ew 1or2 State "oard of the Party and on the state committee) * was second to Nil Nreen in char.ed on $y the leadin.ressi3e $usinessmen were +layin.n! Press releases from 0ew 1or2) enlar.ns! * was assi.e Counts and 7ohn Childs) also +layed an im+ortant role! 'his latter .er of the ?armers Union) Nil) myself) and Charles Coe) a silent chu$$y man who was associated with a farmers@ +u$lication! 'o.eFscale wor2 amon.ed $y Ale8 %ose and #a3id #u$ins2y) alon.un! *n 0ew 1or2 the C*.uestioned this +ers+ecti3e * said that the +ro. to tell here! *n the other tas2 * teas to see for the first time how a tiny minority) well or.ressi3e farmers and $usinessmen for the reFelection of %oose3elt! 'he story of communist mani+ulation for the defeat of /amilton ?ish is too 7une Sunday of 1944) a handful of chic2en farmers from Sulli3an) Colum$ia) and -ran.ens@ . with Neor.ed itself to hel+ $uild education and to su++ort a nationwide schoolF$uildin.ressi3e ?armers Committee for the reFelection of %oose3elt! Some months later) when the cam+ai.ramB Uthat this would . Party direction! 'hese election committees) made u+ of Communists and nonFCommunists) were under communist control! *f the chairman of the committee) was a nonFCommunist) its e8ecuti3e secretary was ine3ita$ly under communist domination! 0ew 1or2) $ecause of its lar.rou+s of uncoordinated citi. of a 0ew 1or2 di3ision of the +ro.Political Action Committee was staffed with many so+histicated Communists with years of e8+erience in the nation@s ca+ital! 'he *nde+endent Committee of Artists) Scientists and Professionals) under the chairmanshi+ of 7o #a3idson) the scul+tor) was under stron.strin.ether we +lanned a Pro.ram of continued coFo+eration on all educational su$Gects! 'o those who .er .rou+s! * +ointed out that the 0A( had esta$lished a tie with the 0JA and had +led. a re3olutionary role! * re+eated the e8+lanations .ani.e of +olitical cam+ai.) few 2new from what small $e.e counties met with an or.ear! 'he 0ew 4i$eral Party) or. the farmers had $e.

atherin. the election * had seen effecti3e wor2 done $y Communists who were concealed mem$ers! #is+utes $e..ations! 'hese dis+utes were resol3ed $y "rowder himself) if necessary) and always in fa3or of the concealed mem$ers! * felt a . wa.ement charter +ro+osed $y the Cham$er of Commerce and su++orted $y the Communists! 'he new line was unacce+ta$le to s2e+tical wor2ers who had $een schooled in the classFstru.ether! 'hey ru$$ed el$ows with district leaders) with underworld characters) and with oldFline +olitical $osses whom they really of the +owerful mono+olies! 'hese were reducin. the election 3ictory) so they too2 time out to attac2 #u$ins2y and the newly formed 4i$eral Party) e3en thou.. for no +ersonal reward sa3e the ri.o! * came $ac2 feelin. the old fellows into action) and it was amusin.ations and layin. of a new world! *t was fascinatin.ather in the 3otes which the 4a$or Party could not win and which the #emocratic or.hFandFtum$le atmos+here! 'o .ani.litterin. +olitical a++aratus! Chile * was in acti3e wor2 * was reasona$ly ha++y) $ut) when the cam+ai.ani. to see them in that rou.le +hiloso+hy and who were at that time feelin.a$eth Nurly ?lynn who was with me on $oth 0ational and State Committees! She said that it was only in 0ew 1or2 that the comrades acted li2e that! She e8+lained it was often due to male chau3inism at youn. wor2ers to the new line on coFo+eration and unity! (any did not li2e a +ostwar :no stri2e +led.le for +ower which * saw emer.rowin.'hey wanted all the credit for achie3in. off wor2ers des+ite the increasin.! * s+o2e in Cle3eland) 'oledo) Nary) and Chica.n was o3er and %oose3elt reFelected) * found myself de+ressed! -ne reason was a +eculiar stru.s in the (iddle Cest! ?rom my first tal2 * to de3elo+ $etween o+en communist functionaries and these concealed Communists who were safely ensconced in wellF+aid Go$s in +owerful or. no ha++ier than when * left! 0or did my ne8t tas2 ma2e me feel any $etter! * wor2ed for a while with the . cost of li3in.n! *n that cam+ai.ens Political Action Committee! 'his loose or.! #urin.uarters! :No and see a little of the rest of the country): she ad3ised me! :'hat will ma2e you feel $etter!: So in 194< * su$stituted for her at communist .ht of +artici+ation in the $uildin. the effects of the .ed there was resistance amon.arded as careta2ers of a fail to reach) we set u+ a 0ational Citi.n the Communists were e3erywhere! Ce did not trust the district leaders of the #emocratic Party to deli3er the 3otes) so we sent $ri.ers into the #emocratic clu$houses to Go.ation held local rallies and collected funds! *ts e8ecuti3e committee had many .h they were on the same side in the election cam+ai. names! 'he real wor2 was done $y the same dedicated little +eo+le) the ones who were loo2in. all forces to.ratin.e): or ado+tion of a la$orF mana. to see how easily the Party +ersonnel acclimated itself to its new role of +ullin. com+etition $etween these .rou+s) and * wanted to run away from it! -ne day * s+o2e a$out it to Jli.ani. leftFwin.

e which the Communists were $allyhooin.n in fa3or of uni3ersal military trainin. them) they asserted) a necessary thin. news that they were .ations) of encoura. for the $ a +eace mechanism without armies) the o$3ious and of circulatin.ners a++eared in our midst) recently come from *taly! "erti and #onnini were a smooth) attracti3e +air) who called themsel3es +rofessors and had $ecome leaders of the *talian Commission! 'hey immediately started a contro3ersy) a$out the) wor2 amon.ement charter were all straws in the wind and +ointed to one thin.then the sense of nationalism amon.ani.9 ultimate state control of the +eo+le! Chen the 1alta conference had ended) the Communists +re+ared to su++ort the United 0ations Charter which was to $e ado+ted at the San ?rancisco conference to $e held in (ay and 7une) 194<! ?or this * or. sections of 0ew 1or2 where thousands of +eo+le con.ed the or.ed the im+ortance of se+arate national or.uestion then was9 for whom and to what end were the Communists! 'he two seemed contradictory! "ut Communists do not cross wires in careless fashion! 'he truth was that the two cam+ai.n trou$led me for it did not seem to fit in with the 'eheran +ers+ecti3e for a to different +ur+oses9 the need to control the +eo+le in the +ostwar +eriod) and the need to $uild a worldFwide machine to +reser3e +eace! Since the communist leaders were e3idently not en3isionin. national minorities! Jarl "rowder at the con3ention of 1944 had insisted 9n the elimination of a sense of difference amon.rou+s almost as if these were were . the forei.n for uni3ersal military trainin.e news+a+ers! 'hey encoura. of a +ermanent armyE #id they not trust their own +eace +ro+a. the $uildin.ani. a cam+ai.nF$orn to use their lan. +etitions for uni3ersal military trainin.ed a cor+s of s+ea2ers and we too2 to the street corners and held o+enFair meetin.! 'his cam+ai.s in the millinery and$orn and had mo3ed to ha3e them treated as +art of the American la$or mo3ement! 'o this Professors "erti and #onnini offered strenuous o$Gections! 'hey em+hasi. its functionaries! * first $ecame aware of this in my wor2 with the *talian Commission of the American Communist Party! -ne day two forei.Communist 1outh who were Gust startin. the forei.andaE CHAPTER THIRTEEN "1 AP%*4) 194<) there was e3idence of trou$le in the Communist Party! Uneasiness increased amon.n colonies! *t would stren.) and the la$orFmana.Fterm +eace) nor with the ha++y o+timism that was +romoted when the forei.) the noFstri2e +ostwar +led. of the different national .ate at the lunch hour! Ce s+o2e of the need for world unity and in su++ort of the 1alta decisions! 1et at the same time the youth di3ision of the Communists was circulatin.ani. of world communism! 'hese two Party functionaries found themsel3es on the car+et for their unwelcome 3iews! Plans were on foot to e8+el them! 'hen) suddenly) came the ama.i armies were $ro2en and +eace seemed near! 'he cam+ai.

re3olution! *t $randed "rowder as a crass :re3isionist: of (ar8ismF4eninism) and it called for his remo3al from office! *mmediate confusion and hysteria +ermeated the Party! 0inety +ercent of the mem$ershi+ did not 2now who 7ac.! ?or one thin.mem$ers of the *talian Communist PartyL U+ to this +oint) li2e others) * had re.e themsel3es of the error they did not understand $ut which they had e3idently committed! 'hey confessed in +ri3ate and in +u$lic meetin.s were ha++enin.e the whole course of the communist mo3ement in this country! 'he letter) which a++eared in the 4orld/Tele#ram in (ay)194<) ridiculed the "rowder line of unity) his 'eheran +olicy) and char.i3in. to the Scri++sF/oward +ress a letter $y $ac2 to the Go$ of ma2in. $ecause he had $een so closely identified with the chief had) in fact) $een 2nown as "rowder@s $oy! /e) too) . the forces of (ar8ist fundamentalism! 'he lar.arded them as honest $ut mis.e of ca+italism) that it would ine3ita$ly lead to war and the communist re3olution) and that the United States . on) or that they had $een afraid to s+ea2 u+ when they saw errors! 'hey cried that "rowder had confused and terrori.ed the American Communists with ha3in.ed that nothin.uided forei.hten them! (ore im+ortant in a state of :re3isionism): e3en if they did not 2now what it meant) and feelin.a.) a +alace re3olution was ta2in.norant of what had .s that they had $een remiss in their duty) that they had $etrayed the wor2ers $y su++ort of a +ro. in ?rance! 'his letter was to chan. they said had $een un+remeditated) and that they were not s+ea2in. $etrayed the +rinci+les of (ar8 and 4enin! *t called u+on the American Communists to clean house) and literally demanded that they .e in the line of world communism) they tried frantically to +ur. to watch these leaders) who were at $est i.uic2ly disa3owed all he had said a$out im+erialism and disclaim res+onsi$ility) +lead they had not 2nown what was .ed them! *t was distressin.s of dis. * learned that these two men 33 ere res+onsi$le for translatin. sta$le they had lost all sense of discretion! ?ri. and . a $itter meetin. come to an end! *n fact) it was clear that we were now to $elie3e a.ine) -a%iers du communisme. time! 'o me nothin. that the 3oice from o3erseas +resa. made sense! -3er and o3er * heard +eo+le say they had $etrayed the wor2ers! * saw mem$ers of the 0ational "oard loo2 distrau.oin.ust and +ity! *t was a $ewilderin. +lace at 'welfth Street) with Cilliam Q! ?oster leadin.ues #uclos) +u$lished +re3iously in a communist on or were at worst cowards! Nil Nreen went a$out whiteFfaced and distrau.ed a chan.ain that im+erialism was the last sta.ellation that stirred in me feelin. for themsel3es! 'hey re+resented the *nternational Communist mo3ement and it was clear that "rowder@s a++roach to the national +ro$lem was in disfa3or with some sections of world communism! #urin.ners with a +enchant for dis+utation! 0ow * reali.htened at $ein.ues #uclos was) nor did they understand what :re3isionist: meant! 0o attem+t was made to enli.ram of class colla$oration! 'here were some demonstrations of +u$lic selfFfla.e cor+s of Go$holders in the Party added to the confusion) for li2e horses in a $urnin.

of an emer.) :* don@t understand what has ha++ened! Ce don@t seem to ha3e all the facts!: ?or * remem$ered how) as recently as the +re3ious (ay) mem$ers of the Communist *nternational had $een +resent at the Party con3ention and had a++ro3ed the line! And * remem$ered) too) that it was Cilliam Q! ?oster who nominated "rowder as +resident of the Communist Political Association! *t was ?oster who seconded the motion to dissol3e the Party in 1944! 'his was certainly a turnFa$outFface) a com+lete re+udiation of a +olicy which had not only the unanimous su++ort of the communist leadershi+ in the United States) $ut he o+en su++ort of the So3iet Union! Ce had e3en $een told that the 'eheran +olicy had $een +re+ared with the assistance of Am$assador -umans2y) the accredited re+resentati3e from the USS% to the United States! 'oday it is o$3ious that after Stalin had .rim with hate) or +erha+s it was fear! * did not 2now "rowder well! * was one of the newest mem$ers of the 0ational Committee) $ut suddenly * could not $ear this any lon.ested throu.ain we were to des+ise our own country as an e8+loiter of the wor2ers! Nil and *srael Amter as2ed me to write a +u$lic statement to $e +u$lished in the 3aily 4orker in which * was to re+udiate the recent +olicy and confess my errors! * tried) $ut my +en would not write the words! * e8cused myself $y sayin.h +ri3ate channels from a$road) as +re+aration for the u+hea3al of 194<! "rowder o$3iously was cau. to him) and when he sat down he was entirely alone! 1et a hundred times * had seen these same +eo+le Gum+ u+ when he came into a room and sin.ained di+lomatic concessions at 1alta) and after the "retton Coods and #um$arton -a2s conferences had +laced concealed American Communists in +ositions of +ower) world communism did not want the +atriotic efforts of Jarl "rowder and his $and of o+en Communists who lon. Potash of the ?urriers Union too2 the chair! 4ater ?oster occu+ied it! "rowder was in the room! /e had $een ill and his a++earance was that of a man in +ain! Person after +erson studiously a3oided! * arose from my seat at the o++osite end of the room and wal2ed o3er to "rowder@s chair and shoo2 hands with him! 'hen * sat down in the em+ty chair ne8t to his) thou.ed for +artici+ation in American affairs! -nly later did * learn that ?oster@s $elated) +olite) and restrained o++osition to the 'eheran line the year $efore had $een off.h * was aware my action would not .was the worst offender! A.ency con3ention in 7une) 194<! (uch was to ha++en $efore that too2 +lace! 'he 0ational Committee) almost si8ty in num$er) was called into session at 'welfth Street to +re+are for the con3ention! At first *r3in.uard and un+re+ared! /e was now com+elled officially to +resent the #uclos letter to the mem$ershi+ for :discussion: throu.) :"rowder is our leader! Ce shall not $e mo3ed!: 0ow) when they loo2ed at him) their faces were ..s of the Party there was a wa3e of confused discussion) and the culmination of it was the callin. At meetin.h the columns of the 3aily 4orker.

one to (oscow in the ho+e of re3ersin.h $road front committees) such as the Southern Committee for /uman %i.e illo. +ac2! *) myself) was neither for nor that at least (other "loor) the soFcalled :sweetheart: of the mo3ement) would counsel moderation) for she had $een close to "rowder! *nstead) this old woman tal2ed! 'his stran.ed that the Party wor2 in the South throu. done! Surely anyone as sensiti3e as he to any $etrayal of the 0e.uilty of chau3inism) he insinuated) since * e8+ected him as a 0e. to "en #a3is when he made a +articularly cruel s+eech! "en #a3is was a 0e.hts) $ecause he felt that the 3ery name :Communist: shut all doors there! * had seen this same "en #a3is use the united front line of colla$oration in the crassest +ossi$le way to +romote his own +olitical am$itions and now * suddenly 2new * must s+ea2! * too2 the floor and as2ed where "en #a3is had $een at the time when all this was $ein. the decision! 'he old 0ational Committee met for three days! 'he meetin.a3e u+ so easily! J3en then * did not $elie3e) as he e3idently did) that there would $e any return! 4ater) when he went to the So3iet Union) * reali.ed him to offer some e8+lanation or at least to stay and meet the +eo+le in dis$! "ut he said he could not stay for the * said) should ha3e s+o2en u+ then and not ha3e waited until now! "en #a3is +rom+tly turned his 3iolence on me9 * was .ro) a mem$er of the 0ew 1or2 City Council) and the +re3ious year he had Goined a 'ammany /all #emocratic Clu$ in order) he said) to .s $e.uidatin.ed that he had .: the Party) that she was out of head. and 2indness and com+assion! * thou.oin.ant!: Jli.n for the City Council! 0ow he e8coriated "rowder for his :$etrayal: of the 0e. the women) $ut they were not there either! * thou.ani.! :* will not defend myself): he said firmly! :'his is to $e sensiti3e to the +ro$lem of the 0e.a$eth Nurly ?lynn) formerly of the *CC) whom "rowder had ta2en into the Party in 19 A and ele3ated to the 0ational Committee) was not far $ehind (other "loor in her remar2s! * could hardly $elie3e my ears when * heard her state coldly that she had $een intimidated $y "rowder) that she had $een unaware of the fact that he was :li. on! * heard Ann "urla2) once 2nown as the :%ed ?lame of 0ew Jn.ainst "rowder! 1et * almost .ot in trou$le $y for the Party had reduced to a +allid) thinFli++ed) silent creature) s+ea2 u+ and Goin the accusin. sectarian nonsense! 'hey will come $ac2!: * 2new little a$out su++ort for his ne8t to $e $rou. the Communist Party in the South! "rowder had whom years as an or.ns of understandin.o unnoticed! * to find them at least early and lasted late! * loo2ed for si.h +olitics within the communist a++aratus) and * could not understand the u+hea3al nor why he .rily a$out how stu$$orn "rowder was and how :arro.ic left me wordless! .e of what was .uarters so much that she had no 2nowled.

and saw more $reastF$eatin. sensi$le would $e heard! *nstead) Pat $urst out cryin.round and were uns+oiled $y $our. offended or $etrayed the wor2in.e to hear Jli.a$eth Nurly ?lynn $e. and fantastic! *t was the nearest thin.ency Con3ention! * was sur+rised to hear myself named to ser3e on a tem+orary committee of thirteen which was to inter3iew all mem$ers of the 0ational "oard and 0ational Committee) estimate the e8tent of their re3isionist errors) and recommend to the 0ational Con3ention those who should $e dro++ed and those who should $e retained for new leadershi+! (y wor2 on that committee of thirteen was an e8+erience * shall ne3er for. old! Ce can dis+ense with your ser3ices if you are in disa.eois $ac2.ed to the %!A! in *reland) then +romise to study (ar8 and 4enin and to $ecome a true mem$ers of the 0ational Committee too2 me to lunch! Pettis Perry and Cilliam Patterson) $oth of whom * li2ed) tried to Gustify "en #a3is@ intem+erate attac2s and said * did not understand the national minority .) and said he had ne3er a.reement!: Cere these the men * had thou. class! 'hey tried des+erately to +ro3e that they themsel3es were of that wor2in.round! *t was weird to hear 'hom+son tal2 a$out his +roletarian father and mother! *t was stran.hters in the cause of GusticeE 7ust $efore the 0ational Committee closed its that now somethin. to +ur.e trials * ha3e e3er seen! -ne $y one the leaders a++eared $efore this committee! Ce were silent and waited for them to s+ea2! (en showed remorse for ha3in. it set u+ committees to +re+are for the Jmer.uires) .rade education and that he came from a +o3ertystric2en $ac2.eois Satan who had lured them into error $ecause of lac2 of formerly a Pennsyl3ania miner with memories of the (olly (a.uestion well! All * could thin2 as * listened was) :/as e3eryone .'hat same day se3eral of the 0e.hter of the comin.rie3ed o3er their mista2es and unctuously +led. American re3olution! Sometimes an honest statement came) and it was a .ani.ed that they would study (ar8F4eninFStalin faithfully) and ne3er $etray the wor2in. class a.ettin.eois education! 'hey tal2ed of "rowder as if he were a sort of $ madE: 4ater that afternoon we heard more wailin. mem$ers! 'he +rocedure was fascinatin.?urriers were the ran2in.i3eness and offer in e8tenuation that she was of %e3olutionary stoc2) for her father had $elon.uate communist education! 0ow they .! Chen Pat 'uohy) an acti3e Party! "ill ?oster was technically chairman! /is constant attendant was %o$ert 'hom+son! #a3is of the Philadel+hia A!?! of 4! food wor2ers@ union and "en Nold of the C*. for.) :Pat) you@re .ht fearless fi. due to their inade. class) and had no $ to feel li2e one of %o$es+ierre@s committees in the ?rench %e3olution! *t was weird to see tall) raw$oned %oy /udson +ic2 and choose his words with +athetic care) to hear him +lead) as if it were a $oast) that all he had was a thirdF.ot u+ to s+ea2) * thou.reat relief! Such a one was when Pettis Perry said he had $een an illiterate share cro++er in the South and that the Party .reed with the 'eheran line) $ut that "rowder had intimidated him $y sayin.ain! -ne $y one they came $efore the committee and * $e.

ency Con3ention met! "ecause of wartime tra3el restriction) ?oster announced that there would $e only a small num$er from the rest of the country! Some fifty dele.) one of the thirteen on the committee! :* don@t thin2 * $elon. committee the thou. for +ower for twentyFfi3e years! 'hom+son and Nil Nreen had .one to S+ain as a commissar of the 4incoln "ri.ues #uclos! Some shouted down anyone who su.ues) $ased on the +rinci+le of mutual +rotection and ad3ancement) s+ran.ument that went on at that con3ention * can only com+are to con3ersation in a into the 1oun.! Chen ?oster strode in with 'hom+son and "en #a3is at his heels * could thin2 only of the 3ictorious ?uehrer and his . his loyalty to the Party! 'hen someone . dan. time! /e had $een sittin.oin.ied acti3ity) $ut there was 3a.. in little rooms +lannin.ans from in S+ain) was attac2ed $ecause of "rowderism! /e fended that off $y assertin. here): * said! :*t is true that my father and mother wor2ed hard) $ut my father $ecame a successful $usinessman and we owned a house and * went to came to me that there was not one real wor2er amon.hth Street which was the arena of the con3ention! Close friends of many) years@ standin.ical discussion of +ro$lems! 'he mood) the emotions) were hysterically leftist with the most 3iolent racist tal2 * e3er heard! "ill 4awrence) 0ew 1or2 State secretary) who had fou.h he affected the 2ha2i shirt of a wor2man) hadn@t done a stro2e of wor2 in a lon.ates came! 'he 0ew 1or2 dele.ue! 'hom+son had .auleiters! 'he de$ate and the ar.i3en him the o++ortunity to disco3er what he could do! As * listened to this insistence on +o3erty and lac2 of formal education as the . u+ e3ery where! Some shouted in the fren.ested lo.! Confusion and uni3ersal sus+icion rei. $ecame deadly enemies o3erni.e!: 'rachten$er.ade and when he returned he wor2ed for the Party) and Nil $ecame a Party functionary at an early a.ned at the ?raternal Clu$house on ?ortyFei.) himself a wellFeducated man) cau.ates swam+ed the con3ention! 'he outF ofFtowners were window dressin.had hel+ed him to learn to read and write and had . Communist 4ea.ualifications for admission to this Party) * $ the irony in my statement! /e stro2ed his walrus mustache and said reassurin.htmare! -ne sensed threatenin.ueness as to what it was all a$out) and as to where we were .e! 'hat was the +attern of these American re3olutionaries) and * felt as * loo2ed at them that they really could 2now little a$out the ordinary wor2er! At the end of 7une the to feel uneasy) and * turned to Ale8ander 'rachten$er. them! ?oster) thou.ly9 :#on@t worry a$out that! %emem$er Stalin studied to $e a +riest and 4enin came from a wellFtoFdo family and studied to $e a lawyer! 1ou must $e a +roletarian or identify yourself with the +roletariat! 'hat@s all!: As the comrades continued to come $efore the! 4ittle cli. re3olutions and conni3in.raduated from school ri.

ed the 0ational Con3ention! 'he same terror was a++arent! * was in a difficult s+ot! As le.islati3e re+resentati3e) * had to +resent to the 0ew 1or2 #istrict Con3ention the +ro+osal for the selection of cityFwide candidates for the 0o3em$er elections! A decision to su++ort Cilliam -@#wyer for mayor had $een made $y the state $oard $efore the #uclos $om$shell! 0ow in the a 3ote of a++ro3al for -@#wyer! . class) yet called for enou.ency Con3ention was meant to $e all mem$er of the 0ational "oard) and called him an :Uncle 'om): $ecause he had $een restrained in his attac2 on "rowder! 'he newly elected 0ational Committee) which was elected on the third day) held its first and the left! At district con3entions the new line was ado+ted with the hysteria that had characteri.h to assua. of a new line! /e +romised to coFo+erate! Chen he finished) there was scattered a++lause in which * Goined! * was sittin. and loud cheers at the su.s a$out $etrayal of the wor2in.ed him with ha3in.rou+ that wanted not e8+lanations $ut e8ecutions! "en #a3is attac2ed 7im ?ord) a 0e. at 4 a!m! A new chairman and a secretary were still to $e selected! "rowder had a++eared $riefly at the Con3ention to address it! Chen this had first $een su.ency Con3ention in the ?raternal Clu$house! CHAPTER FOURTEEN '/J 0JC 4*0J esta$lished at the Jmer.ed line no one wanted to assume res+onsi$ility for su++ortin. him! *t was o$3ious that the new leftist line would disru+t communist +ower in the field of +ractical +olitics) and yet the Party wanted to continue to control the $alance of +ower in 0ew 1or2 State +olitics! * was assi. $een a coward in S+ain) and * saw tears run down his face as he tried to e8+lain to a . he a++ro3ed the draft resolution and the esta$ his $eady $lac2 eyes fi8ed on me! (onths later he $ me u+ on of the chan.e those who *d .es of ha3in.estion! /owe3er) he was allowed to s+ea2) and he was most conciliatory) sayin. a So3iet America! *t 3oted to intensify (ar8istF4eninist education from the leaders down to the lowliest mem$er! *t 3oted to oust "rowder as leader! *t 3oted to return to the use of the word :comrade!: As for me) from that time on * $ecame aller.ested there were calls from the hall for his immediate han.ic to the use of that word) for * had seen many uncomradely acts at the at a ta$le with *srael Amter and * cau.s to all +eo+le! *t was intended to $e leftist enou.ned to re+ort to the Con3ention and to .h unity with soFcalled democratic forces to +ermit continued colla$oration with the forces of Him+erialism!I J3en so there were dissatisfied elements on $oth the ri.uilty feelin.. a++lauded "rowder! 'he Con3ention carried out 3arious measures! *t 3oted to dissol3e the Communist Political Association and to reFesta$lish the Communist Party! *t 3oted to reFdedicate itself to its re3olutionary tas2 of esta$lishin.char.

'he 0ew 1or2 ci3ilFser3ice unions and the trans+ort wor2ers had $een $e wron.ed states of *llinois and *ndiana! %o$ert 'hom+son was named $y Ju.e and com+le8 a district! /e ne3er for.i3en them fair words $ut little or no wa.ainst Ju.ed its mind and .round that he had 3oted in fa3or of a city council resolution to . so lar.rounds of :white chau3inism!: Chen * +rotested that * had ne3er seen the sli. a. of the state $oard * +rotested this attem+t to mo3e a.e as it now seems to me) the last illusion to die in me was the illusion a$out the So3iet Union! * did not 2now then that the new line was made in (oscow! 'he leadershi+ of the Party in the United States mi. with /illman and #u$ins2y in su++ort of 4aNuardia! 0ow the die was cast) and we followed the election decisions made +re3iously! Cith -@#wyer@s election the Communists +laced one of their a$lest men in City /all as confidential secretary to the new mayor! 'he new 0ational "oard had reshuffled Party +osts! Nil Nreen was sent to Chica.B $ut faith in the socialist (otherland) in the So3iet Union) was dee+ly etched into $ur 3ery $ein. had $een dee+! * ran into conflict after conflict with 'hom+son! /e was (oscowFtrained) morose) and unsta$le! /e surrounded himself with stron.e of the $e wron.htened) $ut * tried to $elie3e that the madness which was on us was tem+orary! Chen "rowder left for (oscow with a So3iet 3isa * ho+ed a chan.htest e3idence of :white chau3inism): they loo2ed at me in a.e increases! *n 1941 the Party had considered su++ortin. -@#wyer $ut at the last moment had chan.a3e me for this sli.B the leadershi+ of the ?rench Party or of the *talian Party me to +refer char.Farm men and +ac2ed the state $oard meetin.! 'he conditionin.round that he had little e8+erience in runnin.ation to do all in my +ower to .et others to see how terri$le were the thin.reet Arch$isho+ S+ellman on his return from %ome as cardinal! At a tense meetin.e would come on his return! So * held on $ecause * felt * had an o$li.ainst (ichael Suill on the .ainst Suill and reminded 'hom+son that effecti3e mass leaders who wor2 with the Party are hard to find! :Comrade #odd for.o in alon.ene Connolly) a city councilman and secretary of the American 4a$or Party) on the .s we +lanned to do! ?or) stran.ust! 'hey sou.s with those who flattered him and 3oted his way! /e mo3ed in swiftly to destroy anyone who thwarted him! /e and "en #a3is tried to . me close at hand! * could not $e silenced and we clashed re+eatedly! * was uneasy and fri.ene #ennis as leader of the 0ew 1or2 district! Chen * heard of it my heart san2! *n an un+recedented mo3e * o++osed his election on the .ht to his 3anity! * tried to withdraw from my +ost as an em+loyee of the Party $ut 'hom+son insisted on 2ee+in.ainst 4aNuardia for years! /e had .ets): said 'hom+son) :that communist leadershi+ is su+erior to mass leadershi+! Anyone who o++oses us must $e eliminated from the la$or mo3ement!I .

e techni.ree on) what to do! *t $ecame o$3ious there would $e no Party con3ention in 1946! *n 7anuary of 1946 the 0ational "oard decided to e8+el Jarl "rowder from the Party) and he was $rou.ed his shoulders and su. around unassi. the first e8+elled) their crime $ein.ain) so utterly cynical was his re+ly! As 194< dra.e the United States $ranch! A com$ination of wealthy women and Party mem$ers esta$lished and maintained what was called the Con.ani.s! /e was tried $y a handful of 1on2ers Communists) $ut his e8+ulsion was a++ro3ed $y the 0ational Committee! 'he cruelty of such treatment for a +ast leader can $e +ossi$le only in this stran.rou+s) they are re.rou+ had not materiali.ed into the s+rin.ister 5ileen fame) and her hus$and "ruce (inton) were amon. leftism! .i3en the +u$licFhumiliation treatmentB some were +ermitted to han.ency Con3ention there had $een efforts to $rin. of 1946 it was clear that ?oster and #ennis had $een ordered to ta2e o3er the Party) $ut it was also clear that they did not 2now what to do with it! 'he de+ression in the United States +redicted $y a So3iet research .ress of American Comen! Since it was su++osedly a mo3ement for +eace) it attracted many women! "ut it was really only a renewed offensi3e to control American women) a matter of dee+ im+ortance to the communist mo3ement) for American women do A0 +er cent of the family s+endin.ani. e3ery Party mem$er $ac2 into su++ort of the new leadershi+! Some were won o3er with Go$s! -thers were .i3en for e8+ulsion9 one was .ested * see the :old man!: A tal2 with Cilliam Q! ?oster made me decide ne3er to see2 him out a. of +olitical decisions! 4i2e youth and minority .ed and ?oster and his aides) who were all +oised for the re3olutionary moment) were una$le to a.n for +eace was es+ecially .ht u+ on char. the ne8t months * hel+ed or.e mo3ement) where there is no charity) no com+assion) and) in the end) total elimination of those who ha3e ser3ed it! 4ate in 194< word had come from 7essica Smith) wife of 7ohn A$t) who was in (oscow) that it was im+ortant that American women $e or.ain su++ort of the women! ?rom the day of the Jmer.ainst such decisions to Ju.eared to .ed into an international mo3ement) ostensi$ly for +eace! An international federation was to $e esta$lished with %ussian and ?rench Party women as leaders! So durin.! *n the u++er $rac2ets they own a +re+onderance of ca+ital stoc2 and $onds! 'hey are im+ortant in the $y the little communist $ranch in 1on2ers where he made his home) 'he char.ned until their disaffection had cooledB and some were e8+elled! ?rom 194< to 194> se3eral thousands were e8+elled) each indi3idually with the refinement of terror in the +ur.ene #ennis) $ut he only were that he had ad3anced Meynesian ideas) that he maintained them stu$$ornly) and that he had $een! +olitically +assi3e) and had failed to attend local clu$ meetin.htism! %uth (cMenney) of My .uilty either of leftism or ri.ue! 'wo main reasons were .* carried my a++eal a.arded as a reser3e force of the re3olution $ecause they are more easily mo3ed $y emotional a++eals! So the So3iet cam+ai...

islati3e re+resentati3e and that * $e assi. of which the Party was well aware! * had esca+ed +unishment for my inde+endence in 194<) +ossi$ly $ecause * was not easy to deal with) far * had won far myself a +osition of res+ect with the ran2FandFfile mem$ers and had always remained close to my Union! "ut a stealthy cam+ai.amated Clothin.n that fall! ?or the 1946 state elections) the Party had decided to +lace a communist tic2et in the field to .ain on a trum+edFu+ char.ets out of the Party! 1ou die or you are thrown out! "ut no one .h treatment from the comrades that when 'hom+son) who was in char. for a Go$ was nai3e enou.ainst me! -nce * was $rou. the accusation of de3iation! Some of these +eo+le a++ealed to me for hel+) for the Party@s action were too slim to $e sustained) $ut they concocted others! -ne accusation stemmed from the fact that * had $loc2ed the Party@s mo3e to su++ort one of their fa3orite union leaders who was facin. Cor2ers) &ito (arcantonio and his machine) .ui3ocal +osition) somethin.e of white chau3inism to feel that if * frowned at a 3aily 4orker editorial someone would surely re+ort it! 'wice they concocted a char.uarters any unorthodo8 remar2! (y secretary was enlisted to re+ort on who came to the office) on my relations with Party and nonF Party mem$ers) and on the nature of my corres+ondence! A +oor old seaman whom * fed and lod. of +ilferin. with chau3inism! * lau.ainin.ators) who came in su++osedly to chat and 3isit with me) and then re+orted at head. in) and said to them coldly9 :1ou thin2 li2e +i.htened at my own temerity! 'he ne8t day "ill 0orman) the state secretary) who ser3ed as a $alance wheel to the e8+losi3e and un+redicta$le 'hom+son) called me to his office! /e tal2ed to me in his . +osition in the American 4a$or Party a++aratus which now consisted of the leaders of the Amal.ets out!: 'hen he $ecame his mild self a.n of terror $e.ed! /e fi8ed his eyes on me and said) almost harshly) :#odd) no one .n had $e.h$ors of all races! All these char.ainst me! 'wice that year * faced char.h) a 0e.htest criticism of the Party would $rin.ed while he was waitin.e was true) as * was shoc2ed at the Party@s su++ort of such an unsa3ory character! 'his time * recei3ed such rou.e) leaned o3er the des2 and started shoutin. at me) * stood u+) 2noc2ed o3er the chair * had $een a $ $efore %ay /aus$ from Chica.uiet and reasona$le way and * told him fran2ly that * wanted to .un a.ain! ?inally * as2ed to ha3e Si Nerson ta2e my +osition as le.e! (y home and law office were in3aded $y Party in3esti. union funds! 'his char.s): and slammed out of the room! "ut in my heart * was out of the Party! /is e8+ression chan.uestions a$out what was said and done at my home! * $e.ered their re+utations and Go$s! * tried to hel+! * counseled restraint $ut * was often ineffecti3e $ecause *) myself) was in an e.h to tell me he was as2ed many .es and dismissed them! -nce * found myself $efore a woman@s commission with "etty Nannet in the chair) a.o) whom * li2ed and res+ected) and who heard the char.hed at them for of all the white women +resent) * was the only one in which little +eo+le who had Goined from idealistic notions were afraid the sli.A rei.ned to the (arcantonio cam+ai. in /arlem in friendshi+ with my nei.

. the housin.roes recently from the South) Puerto %icans lately from their island) and the remnants of *rish) *talian) Nree2) and 7ewish +eo+le) all on his way to the +olls) had $een assaulted $y four men and was in a hos+ital with a fractured s2ull! Ce won the election! Chen to 3ote! Ce +ractically dou$led the re.n in (arcantonio@s district for it .ress) $ut he was also the reco.n the teachers hel+ed hundreds to +ass the literacy tests! (any) hours were s+ent hel+in.n a.a3e me a res+ite from the com+lications of 'welfth Street! * was in $efore election day! -n election day * o+ened my head.n was a $itter one with 3iolence eru+tin.eneral) which of course * did not ta2e seriously for * 2new that the Party mould later ma2e deals with the American 4a$or Party and one of the two maGor +arties) and then withdraw its own candidates! 'he wor2 of the 1946 elections was so masterfully contri3ed that the Communists) throu. these adults .ed their effecti3eness in can3assin.nments! Chile we were drin2in..ely 0e.ainst him! (arc was one of the a$lest men in Con. +roGect on the Jast %i3er! *n this +roGect li3ed a %e+u$lican ca+tain named Scottori.h the use of the American 4a$or Party and the unions they controlled) were successful in defeatin. our coffee we listened to the radio on my des2) and heard the news that Scottori. +roGect! /atred had reached a hi. our leadin. in the +romotion of Party o$Gecti3es! * was ha++y to $e +ut to wor2 in the +rimary and election cam+ai.h +itch on the ni.ana) a Go$less youn.uarters at fi3e o@cloc2 in the mornin.ress who ser3ed them effecti3ely! 0one was so ca+a$le or so darin. cam+ai.istration fi.n wor2ers and challen.istration cam+ai.n for the election of %e+resentati3e &ito (arcantonio! ?or once the %e+u$lican Party had decided on a stron.e of a difficult district) the u++er 'enth) from 0inetyFSi8th Street to 106th Street) and from the Jast %i3er to ?ifth A3enue! *t was an un$elie3a$ly de+ressed area) the +o+ulation who interfered with our cam+ai.ed 3oice of the Communists! 'here were others in Con. in one of the worst slums in 0ew 1or2! 'here was only one oasis in the district) the new housin. all whom they seemed to $e su++ortin. o++onents was Scottori.rou+ of teachers who were my friends) and *talian and Puerto %ican mem$ers of the (arcantonio machine) one of them 'ony died of his inGuries) the district was thrown into an u+roar! 'he %e+u$lican leader and the +olice who had coFo+erated with (arcantonio .and the Communists! A full slate of candidates was named and * was +laced on it as candidate for attorney .! 'here was) howe3er) one e8ce+tion to this tric2ery and that was the cam+ai.uarters were at Second A3enue and 0inetyninth Street! (y ca+tains consisted of a .io who was an outs+o2en o++onent of the 4a$or Party! 'his was unusual in this area) as that +arty usually had the coF o+eration of $oth #emocratic and %e+u$lican leaders! (y head.ualify for the ri..! * ser3ed coffee and $uns to my ca+tains and then +roceeded to ma2e assi. *talian with a dee+ de3otion to (arcantonio! *n the re. e3erywhere! Amon.ures! 'he election cam+ai..

uncertainty and fear! *n the the communist re+resentati3es of the 3arious commonwealths to 4ondon! 0o sooner had he returned than e3ery si.n of factionalism disa++eared! A 0ational Committee meetin.htin.rand Gury and interro.ated nation with the desire to $ecome a free one) and that the Communists are to . ha$it $ut no lon.i3e them all assistance! 'he Party +ro+osed to de3elo+ the national as+irations of the he disa++eared) and se3eral months later his $ody was found in the Jast %i3er! * was su$+oenaed $y the 0ew 1or2 County . hun.Fwinded) lon.s which $ in the world communist +ro+a.uestionin. and in an atmos+here of increasin.o! 'hat ni.Fs+unFout) and fantastic Gustification of the line of :selfFdetermination of the 0e.ot to those he im+licated! 'hey finally let him .et instructions for action) and returned with the +roud re+ort that he had met Nottwald of C.roes in the South form a nation) a su$ +eo+le so they would rise u+ and esta$lish themsel3es as a nation with the ri.o * was aware of an e8treme a. those days * was ill in $ody and s+irit! (ostly * stayed away from 'welfth Street and its meetin.ated at the district attorney@s office! *n the midst of the .liatti of *taly) and #uclos of ?rance! /e also re+orted that he had $een in Jn.anda had the same dee+ con3iction a$out the Party@s cham+ionshi+ of the +oor and dis+ossessed! * 2new now that its acti3ities were concei3ed in du+licity and ended in $etrayal! 'he sessions of the #ecem$er 0ational Committee were nota$le for their lon.s! Chen * did .er and misery and fascism thenB and neither the maGor +olitical +arties nor the churches seemed to care! 'hat is why * am a Communist!: * s+o2e with the +racticed intensity of with the old faith in the cause) for * no lon. one of the two assistants as2ed me why * had $ecome a Communist! :"ecause only the Communists seemed to care a$out what was ha++enin.n to win o3er the colored +eo+le of the world! Ultimately) the Communists +ro+osed to use them as instruments in the re3olution to come in the United States! #urin.echoslo3a2ia) #imitroff of " to secede from the United States! *t was a theory not for the $enefit of the for the Jm+ire meetin. of 194> ?oster went to Juro+e) clearly to .ence and +atience of 0e.) in the $lac2 $elt!: -nly the intelli.uestionin.itation amon. the Party $ureaucrats! ?actions were risin.for years were under fire! All my ca+tains were called in for .ana) who was ta2en to the 104th Street station and held for many hours! Chat ha++ened there * do not 2now nor whom he im+licated) nor how fast the information . them little 'ony 4a. was called for 7une =>) 194>! *t continued for se3eral days) and each . to +eo+le in 19 = and 19 ): * said! :'hey were fi.aria) 'o.roes $ut to s+ur strife) and to use the American leaders in America ha3e made +ossi$le resistance to this mischie3ous theory which was contri3ed $y Stalin and was now unleashed $y ?oster! "riefly told) it is the theory that the 0e.

of leadershi+ was near! ?irst of all) (orris Childs) editor of the 3aily 4orker. ?oster@s ne8t +ro+osal9 to +ost+one the Party con3ention until 194A! 'he constitution of the Party) which was +roudly dis+layed e3ery time the Party was attac2ed as undemocratic) +ro3ided for a re.e choice! 7ohn Nates) a youn. con3entions in 194A for the nomination of candidates for +resident) the Communists ou.ures o3erseas) and on his return he had $een +laced in char. this statement) the 3ote was ta2en at once! *t was unanimous in fa3or of Nates! 'here were two a$stentions from a++ro3al F (orris Childs and myself! (y 3ote was an o3ert act of re$ellion a.ainst the steam roller! ?oster saw it) too) and in a 3oice of authority he said that) since all other +olitical +arties would $e ha3in. used on the 0ational Committee! * 2new that this meetin.ene #ennis) national secretary of the Party) in ma2in. 3eteran recently returned from o3erseas ser3ice) had no e8+erience in news+a+er wor2) $ut * did 2now that he had made contacts with +owerful fi. the or.ency! A con3ention was certainly due in 194>! 1 arose and said that we had no other choice $ut to li3e u+ to the constitution! Some of the other mem$ers now s+o2e u+ and * saw the +ossi$ility of a tiny 3ictory a.ational re+ort) announced that Childs was to ha3e an indefinite lea3e of a$sence) and then he +ro+osed as the new editor a youn.ed as crystal clear and masterful! * 2new) finally) that e3eryone was su++osed to 3ote for it! * decided to $rea2 with this tradition) first $y my a$stention in 3otin.ainst the steam roller which was $ein.ani. mar2ed the end of my stay in the administration of the Party and so * decided to ma2e the most of it! * 2new there were others in the committee who felt as * did) $ut fear 2e+t them from ma2in. was remo3ed from his office! (orris) who had recently returned from (oscow) had e3idently done somethin. man with the ado+ted name of 7ohn Nates! Childs@s face turned white as a sheet) for neither he nor) as it turned out) the editorial $oard of the 3aily 4orker had $een consulted a$out the new editor! *t was a stran.ument is le.athered there that a reshufflin.ular con3ention e3ery two years! 'he last had $een held in 1944B the one in 194< had $een merely emer. he had heart trou$le! Ju.alistic): a remar2 which ended the discussion! . the mem$ers a$out this selection! ?oster +ut an end) to dissent $y was filled with drama! *t was clear to us . .e of 3eterans@ wor2 for the Party! 'here was a stir amon.lance at me and said) :Comrade #odd@s ar. to dis+lease either (oscow or the Party in 0ew 1or2! /e 2new it himself) for no sooner had he returned than he as2ed for a si8 months@ lea3e of a$sence) e8+lainin. for Nates) and then $y to ha3e theirs at the same time! /e threw a witherin. the o+en $rea2 * now made! * 2new that no one in the Party e3er attac2s the +ersons in +ower chosen to . flatly) :A communist leader does not need news+a+er e8+erience to $e an editor! *t is more im+ortant that he $e a sound (ar8ist!: ?ollowin.i3e re+orts! 'hey must $e +raised) and the re+ort must $e characteri.

ue was ha3in.ton! * listened carefully to the re+ort) 3a. a third +arty) a farmerFla$or +arty) as a +olitical maneu3er for the 194A elections! 'hey were e3en +ic2in.i3en $y 7ohn Nates) and the fact that he was chosen to . leader of the Party! 0ot only did he 2now nothin. a farmerFla$or +arty) surely the decision to +lace a third +arty in 194A should $e $ased not on whether /enry Callace would run) $ut on whether a third +arty would hel+ meet the needs of wor2ers and farmers in America! And if a third +arty were to +artici+ate in the 194A elections) the decision should $e made immediately $y $ona fide la$or and farmer .i3e it showed that he was $ein. a hard time a$out this +ro+osition! *t was also clear that #ennis and his crew of smart $oys were reser3in.ressi3e Party was finally launched it re+resented not the farmers and wor2ers of America $ut the same 2ind of synthetic coalition which had $ecome a +attern of communist +artici+ation in national +olitics! 'here were lar. its candidate! Chen Nates had finished) * too2 the floor! * said that while * would not rule out the +ossi$ility of $uildin. e3ident that the to+ cli. .enda was a +olitical re+ort on the comin.ue) contradictory) and full of words) re+eatin. a news+a+er) $ut he was relati3ely uninformed a$out American +olitics! /is re+ort was o$3iously not his wor2! *n fact) * could easily reco.e num$ers of disillusioned middleFclass +rofessionals in itB there were women of wealth) mo3ed $y humanitarian .eneral was $ein.e it as the com$ined efforts of Ju. to themsel3es the ri. a$out runnin.h the American 4a$or Party) the *nde+endent Committee of Artists) Scientists and Professionals) and the communist forces at Ca+itol /ill) es+ecially the $rilliant Al$ert "lum$ to ma2e the final decision) and that the Party in .'he re+ort was 3oted on and a++ro3ed! 'he ne8t item on the a.) once on the 7ohns /o+2ins staff) whom * had first met at con3entions of the American ?ederation of 'eachers! * 2new him as a re. elections of 194A and the +ossi$ility of a third +arty! 'his re+ort was . the old +hrases a$out the need of a 4a$or Party in America! *t did not state when it was to $e $uilt nor what were the s+ecial conditions which called for it at this +articular time! 'he +oint of it all came near the end) when Nates read that a third +arty would $e 3ery effecti3e in 194A) $ut only if we could .et /enry Callace to $e its candidate! 'here it was) +lainly stated! 'he Communists were +ro+osin.ular courier $etween #ennis and the communist staff in Cashin.ene #ennis and those Party mem$ers with whom he was in close touch throu.roomed as a 2e+t +retty much in the dar2! Chen the Pro.rou+s) and not delayed until some secret and un2nown +ersons made the decision! (y remar2s were heard in icy silence! Chen * had finished) the committee with no answer to my o$Gection sim+ly went on to other wor2! /owe3er) it was $ecomin.

ressi3e Party! 0ow it was a++arent that the reason they wanted a small limited Pro.ani.h their trade unions and other mass or.ation! Aside from a few little .li$ of ton.ene #e$s when he ran on the socialist tic2et after Corld Car * while still in Gail! 4a ?ollette in 19=4 recei3ed four times as many 3otes! 'he Communists had cle3erly +ut Callace forth as an ins+irational leader and an idealist rather than a +ractical or.moti3esB and there were Communists and fellow tra3elers! All these elements were welded to.rou+s of three F tradeF union re+resentati3es) +olitical re+resentati3es) and unor.ani.ani.a3e a re+ort on under.ani. of 7une) 194>) ?oster .ue and facile of +en! 'he cynical attitude of the to+ Communists toward the Pro.ether $y flashy +rofessional +u$licity a.ressi3e Party) ad3ertised as a farmerF la$or +arty) was without the su++ort of or.ressi3e PartyB Callace was only its 3oice! * had not understood why ?oster should $e dictatin.ton A3enue) in (arcantonio@s district! /e was only a secondFstrin.ani.ed) ?oster announced throu.ani.ani.round +arty of ille. to $e formed and that /enry Callace would $e its standard $earer! "efore election day it was clear that the Communists had +er+etrated a fraud on those who were loo2in.ations in Juro+e) in countries where the Communist Party faced ille.ations! A$out 10 +ercent of the Party would $e or.ressi3e Party can $est $e illustrated $y its results! Jarly in 7anuary of 194A and $efore /enry Callace had made any +u$lic statement) in fact e3en $efore the Pro.ressman) and he seemed out of +lace there) far away from the cornfields of *owa! /e was the candidate of a farmerFla$or +arty) and yet he was actually su++orted $y neither9 As a 3oice of +rotest he was so com+letely controlled $y the Communists that Americans were re+elled and the election results showed that he had recei3ed only a few more than 900)000 3otes) of which the 600)000 were in 0ew 1or2 State! /e did not affect the national +icture) thou.ality! /e said that only the hard core would remain! A limited and controlled Pro. s+ea2er to the! 'hey had surrounded him with ?oster@s $oys and the result was ine3ita$le! ?oster and #ennis $ecame the leaders of the Pro.ressi3e Party was $ecause it was the only 2ind they could control! 'hey wanted to control it $ecause they wanted a +olitical su$stitute for the Communist Party) which they e8+ected would soon $e made ille.round or.ed in ti.ation and a su$stitute for the Communist Party if the latter were outlawed! Also it was clear why at the 0ational Committee meetin. unions) la$or su++ort for it was synthetic! -n election e3e * listened to /enry Callace as he wound u+ his cam+ai. such a++arently selfFdefeatin.ressi3e Party would $e a co3er or.ed re+resentati3es! 'his was to $e the under. for a clearFcut +arty! ?or the Pro.ani.h he did ma2e a difference in 0ew 1or2 State where he insured the 3ictory for 'homas J! #ewey! /e recei3ed fewer 3otes +ro+ortionately than did Ju.n on 116th Street and! 4e8in.h the Associated Press that it was .ed and all others would $e reached throu.ani.ed la$or or of any $asic farm or.ents) . +olicies to the Pro.ality! .ressi3e Party had $een formally or.oin.

ht $ac2) nor did * want to in3ol3e the innocent! At that +eriod little dissident .ht to for.ani.i3en! Periodically we +lanned dri3es to raise money usually $y as2in.rou+ could $e or.less acti3ity! * 2new well that was not the reason they came! * remem$er +articularly an *talian Communist whom ?oster sent to me to discuss the raisin. of +ersonnel at the meetin. money was not my s+ecialty) and that the national office had only to lift the tele+hone to collect the fifty thousand dollars which * was as2ed to raise! * was still accustomed) howe3er) to o$eyin. myself in wor2) $ut inwardly * was so distur$ed that my wor2 suffered! * did not 2now how and when the a8 would fall! * 2new my office was still under constant sur3eillance and * had no way of sto++in.ed the Party) $oth from the ri.ettin.uarters made a +ractice of 3isitin.uee. at the #uclos con3ention of 194<! 0ow the stalwarts and +rofessionals of re3olution too2 their a++ointed +laces and +re+ared to stri2e! CHAPTER FIFTEEN #U%*0N the latter months of 194> my world was off the (ar8istF 4eninist trac2! * had noted the futility of such attem+ts $efore and) althou.*n fine) one could see that shufflin.ether we 3isited 3arious men of wealth who wor2ed with the Party! * had +aid relati3ely little attention to this +hase of communist acti3ity while en. me at from wor2ers! -f course * 2new that the Party had other sources of income $ut we ne3er discussed them! * 2new that they collected from a score of cam+s) and the reason * 2new this was due to a hilarious incident after the war when Chester came to a secretariat $oard meetin. of money for the 194A elections in *taly! * felt the +ur+ose was to enmesh me) and * said as much to the youn. under the sur3eillance of Chester) the smooth) da++er director of the Party@s secret ser3ice! /is men were e3erywhere! * turned to my law +ractice and! * was ill in mind and often in $ody) too) for * had a constant and terri$le fear that e3ery effort was $ein. had $een carefully +lanned! *t had me to ta2e +art in some meanin. 2nown in the Communist Party was now .ht and the left! Jach had its own leader! Jach 3owed de3otion to the Party and each char. all a$out me! 'he certitude which * had so lon.ed without $ein.a. a day@s or a wee2@s wa.ed out all those who had $een +ut in for window dressin. and they critici. made to destroy me! * had watched the +itiless and methodical destruction of others! * did not ha3e the will to fi.ents from communist head.ed that the leadershi+ of the Party in the United States had . to tell us he had a chance to $uy a $randFnew car for the Party@s use at $lac2mar2et +rices! .ht me) * did refuse to $ecome in3ol3ed with them! * 2new well that no . it! Certain a.s! 0o financial re+orts were . directions from the 0inth ?loor! *nstead of . rid of my 3isitor) * found myself handed a list of +eo+le to call on) and my fears $y immersin.h * ne3er refused to see anyone who sou. *talian! Also * +rotested that raisin.rou+s were formin.ular inter3als tryin.ed in union and +olitical wor2! 'he finances of the Party were ne3er discussed at state or national committee meetin. to .

e with these +retty Communists when some of them re$elled $ecause they said they were not $ein.ures sna.ations li2e the Committee on Jconomic #e3elo+ment) in which %oy /udson@s wife held an im+ortant research Go$! Party economic researchers) accountants) and lawyers . . .raduates) and some of them writers for the slic2 ma.ra+h +lants) and in stationery) and office su++lies F sho+s where all the unions and mass or.ated the condition of the small $usinessman) had made 3alua$le contacts for the Party@s +artici+ation in the $usiness world! *t was they who steered the esta$lishment of the Pro.h them the Party had entree into local cham$ers of commerce and conser3ati3e $usiness or.i3en sufficient (ar8ist education! *nstead) their time went into callin.irls) nearly all of them colle.ot Go$s with 3arious conser3ati3e +lannin.ot the new car) $ut * do remem$er that Chester collected considera$le money from the summer cam+s) $oth 1outh and Adult! desire for more (ar8ist education and de3elo+ed a 2een com+etition for +ri3ate lists of suc2ers and +ri3ate tele+hone num$ers! 'hese youn.o to 'hom+son) and that 'hom+son@s car .e financial em+ire! /e was a mild) +ud.ani. and litho.e! 'hey were also the means of attractin.. Jarl@s $rother! "ut these ni.'he $oard a++ro3ed and then Chester announced that the car must of course $e at his dis+osal $ecause it was he who made the wee2ly rounds of the cam+s to collect the money! A $itter .ht clu$s were started with the assistance of wealthy +olitical fi.ines) were mostly from out of town and still had a freshFfaced loo2 and an innocent charm! * noted that after a while they for. +eo+le who .ht to ha3e the new car since he was state chairman! "ill 0orman) always the com+romiser) +ro+osed that it .ot their ea.a.ani. on men and women of wealth) in an effort to .ht clu$s +aid off in money and in +olitical +resti. on Ca+e Cod) felt he ou.ot their first chance to +erform) and at the same time had the e8citement of 2nowin.a.ations! 'he director of much of this acti3ity was Cilliam Ciener) head of Century Pu$lishers) who was 2nown as the to+ financial a.y little man) who wore "roo2s . the war * $ecame aware that the Party had an interest in a certain machine +lant en.rou+s in %e+u$lican and #emocratic Party setu+s and in non+artisan clu$s which had $een called "ill "rowder@s ?olly) "ill $ein.ent of the communist mo3ement) and who also o+erated a lar.h office mana.o to Chester! * do not now remem$er who .ani.o to him) "ill) since he was secretary) and that "ill@s . scores of talented youn.ed in war contracts and that it drew re3enue from it! * had lon.ations directed their $usiness throu. women were ca+a$le of raisin.ers who were Party mem$ers! Se3eral ni.e . 2nown that the Party had an) interest in +rintin. fa$ulous sums! *t was they who raised the first money for the ni. they were +art of a secret mo3ement of re3olt! 'he Party $oys who had wor2ed on con.uarrel arose in which * was only a s+ectator! 'hom+son) whose family was them to o+en their +oc2et$oo2s! 'hese .ressional committees) li2e the 'ruman committee which in3esti.ed $y some of the most attracti3e communist :cheeseca2e: in the Party! * used to sym+athi.ressi3e "usinessmen@s Committee for the election of %oose3elt! 'hrou.

* wor2ed at my law +ractice and tried to $uild a +ri3ate life for myself! * outwitted a num$er of wellFlaid +lans to inGure me! * learned durin. firms) chemical firms) tourist tra3el $ureaus) im+ortFe8+ort com+anies) te8tiles and cosmetics) records for youn. re.ed $ut these men .e Party mem$er had no contact with men li2e him) for a functionary who earned an a3era.entina! *n another office were lawyers who were dee+ly in3ol3ed in the $usiness of ma2in.! * recall one .e of fifty dollars a wee2 seldom saw this side of the Party! Ciener had a num$er of financial +ools o+eratin.erland) assem$led them here) and sent the finished +roduct to Ar.a.ather in ca+ital from wealthy) middleFclass Party +eo+le! 'hey maintained offices with scores of accountants and attorneys from whom the communist mo3ement drew reser3es! 'here were doll factories) se3eral +aint and +lasticFmanufacturin.ed in the deadly $usiness of sellin. iron in (innesota and shi++ed it to northern *taly where) with the hel+ of *talian Communist Party leaders)) it was allocated to communistFled +lants and there +rocessed into steel and shi++ed to Ar. tri+s to C. money as custodians of alien +ro+erty that of *talian citi. to hel+) he decided to esta$lish a +ermanent committee in the United States for cultural ties with *taly! 'hus was $orn the American Committee for Cultural %elations with *taly! 7ohn Crane) whose family fortune was made in $athroom fi8tures) was made chairman! *t was not that * had not 2nown that the Communist Party used the rich as well as the wor2er) $ut * had ne3er seen it so clearly $efore! 'hat s+rin.ular flyin.uented e8+ensi3e restaurants! 'he a3era.entina! * met one man) who was ma2in. those months that some of the a.a.ot them! After * had introduced my youn.nments li2e these were not easy to .encies! *n 194< se3eral cor+orations were esta$lished for trade with China in one of which was ?rederic2 &! ?ield! Under the direction of Ciener and others) such cor+orations hired and maintained a different ty+e of communist) $etterFdressed) $etterF fed) more so+histicated) and much more 3enomous! 'he e8+ortFim+ort .ed in! international trade is far more effecti3e than the oldFty+e +olitical a.ent watch +arts from Swit. arms and ammunition) for today the communist a. +eo+le) and theatrical a.ars) and fre. to .ht +i.rou+ was es+ecially interestin.ed more than e3er how many maGor financial o+erations were touched $y the9 Party! *n one office we 3isited a Party concern that $ou. to hel+ raise money for the *talian elections) * reali. the war! Assi.echoslo3a2ia) en.itator! 0ow) as * tra3eled a$out the city tryin.h$or! Chile * still saw many ran2FandFfile Communists) * a3oided contact with the rest when * could! . *talian associate to a num$er of +eo+le who +rofessed themsel3es willin.ents of the *nternational Communist mo3ement loo2 and tal2 li2e your ne8tFdoor nei.ens which had $een sei.rou+ of communist o+erators who $rou."rothers suits) smo2ed e8+ensi3e ci.

ht to $e free of coercion! * did not ha3e to .en with the ri. when * wo2e to face another difficult day * would say to myself9 :/ow did * .h! 'here was no reason for me to .oB there was nothin.ed him as a man from the *talian Commission! 'here was no +ur+ose in my refusin.s! 0e3ertheless) when * recei3ed a notice * decided to .ation to attend the)! 0ational Con3ention of 194A) $ut * decided * had +unished myself enou. at all a$out education! * was not attendin.ed to hear some $ra3e soul nominatin.rou+s! 0ow * was re+laced e3en there and $y a man who 2new nothin. trou$le as secretary of the 7efferson School! /e .Jach mornin.o to 'welfth Street and ride the din. * could do! Perha+s when that was o3er) when * was no lon.htFli++ed faces of the men and women who 2e+t the .o to the con3ention and had +lanned a means to silence me! 7ust $efore the con3ention the disci+line committee ordered me to a++ear $efore it on the ninth floor! * 2new +erfectly well that * did not ha3e to o$ey this command! * was an American citi.ates and doors loc2ed a.ainst intrusion) nor meet their .er a mem$er of the 0ational Committee) they would dro+ me entirely! J3idently some of the leaders had thou.reeted me only with his eyes and with a short nod of the head! /is li+s were a thin line! /e did not smile or s+ea2! * heard loud 3oices at the entrance door and 'hom+son strode in) "en #a3is struttin.) for * 2new my name would not $e +resented for a 3ote! * was ri. Party meetin. me from the floor! * reco. 0ational Con3ention was nominated $y the +residium) * was ho+e that * would $e +ermitted to drift away from the Party! After all) a million and more Americans had drifted into and out of it! "ut * 2new they were not li2ely to allow anyone who had reached a +osition of im+ortance to do so! * had withdrawn from most acti3ity with them) e8ce+t that * continued as Party contact for the Party teachers@ .et into this $lind alleyE: * ho+ed a.ation to the . +eo+le! Suddenly * was reminded of my 3isit to Nermany in the thirties when in (unich * had seen that same intense loo2 on youn. at his heels) followed $y a troo+ of youn.y ele3ator to the ninth floor! * did not ha3e to face the * mi.o to the state con3ention held that year in Ce$ster /all on the Jast Side! 'here * found * was a mar2ed +erson) that +eo+le were afraid to $e seen! 'he +residF ium struc2 my name out with no e8+lanation! Chen the con3ention closed) the floor was cleared to set u+ ta$les for dinner! * left) for * 2new * could not $rea2 $read with them! As a mem$er of the 0ational Committee * had an o$li. faces de3oted to /itler) their leader! Chen a state dele. with me! After some hesitation) * finally sat down at a ta$le $eside #a3id Noldway! /e and * had always $een friends) and * 2new he was ha3in.

* did not ha3e to . down his nose) said nothin. said) :Ce hear you do not li2e 'hom+son!: :%eally) Comrade 'rachten$ nowE: :1es): * said! :* . a$out him9 that he was a menace to the li3es of the American wor2ers) and that he endan. to do with the case): * said! 0e3ertheless * went on to e8+lain my own feelin.rew uneasy! :Cill this ta2e lon.! :/ow are you feelin.htly com+ressed! 'here was another inter3al of silence) then 'rachten$er.ot smaller and his li+s more ti.ain his Nerman accent was stron.) halfFas2in.hed with relief) for there sat three old men F and * 2new them all well! Ale8ander 'rachten$er.E: he as2ed with no concern whate3er in his 3oice! * hed.reeted them and sat down! :At least): * said to myself) :these are men who 2now the score!: (y relationshi+ with all of them had $een friendly and we had ne3er had any dis+utes! 0ow * waited for them to s+ea2) $ut they sat there in silence until finally * .) whether * li2e 'hom+son or not has leader) whose loo2 at me was distant and morose! * .eyes) scornful now $ecause they 2new * was persona non #rata.ered the safety of our mem$ers! .ed! :*@3e $een ill) Comrade 'rachten$er.) dar2 corridor into an untidy room! Suddenly * all $ut lau.h the now!: Chen he s+o2e a.uess *@m all ri.!: :"ut you are all ri. schools) whose $ $rown eyes were usually merry) had no smile for me! 'he third was 7im ?ord) a 0e.! Cith that he cleared his throat and s+o2e) and * could hardly $elie3e what he was sayin. inwardly) :#ear Nod) dear Nod): with such an intensity that it seemed * had s+o2en aloud! :Ce hear you attac2ed the Cominform): said 'rachten$ than usual! :Ce want to as2 you a few .erous to do so! * had +ointed out that this was a false statement and that no one would $elie3e it! 'hey listened to my $rief e8+lanation! 'hey did not say yea or nay to it! Po+ (indeDs eyes . me! 'hen he stated the time and +lace where * had done it! 'his * could answer! * e8+lained carefully that * had critici.ed the 3aily 4orker statement which said the reason the Communist Party in America had not Goined the Cominform was that it would $e and $raced myself! And then * found myself sayin.) with his little walrus mustache and his way of loo2in.uestions!: :/ere it comes): * thou.o) $ut li2e an automaton * went! Chen * left the ele3ator * went throu.) halfFaccusin.E: * as2ed 'rachten$er. as * came in! Po+ (indel) the hero of the communist trainin.

'he ne8t ;uestion was une8+ected! :Cere you $orn a CatholicE: * rallied! :1es): * said) wanderin. why this was as2ed! * could thin2 of only one reason9 my with 'hom+son o3er the Shar2ey resolution relatin. to the .reetin. of Cardinal S+ellman se3eral years a.o! * loo2ed at the three shrewd men) so wise in the ways of communist +lannin.) and could find no clue to the real reason! 'hey 2new well * had $een $orn a CatholicB they 2new * had followed no reli.ion for many years! 'hen why the ;uestionE 'hey did not continue the in;uiry! Suddenly 'rachten$er. as2ed me why * was not acti3e any in mem$ershi+) why my acti3ity was at a standstill! * hed.ed! :* am still not ;uite well) Comrade 'rachten$er.! And * ha3e +ersonal +ro$lems! 4et me alone until * can find myself a.ain!I 'here was another lon. silence! :Shall * .oE: * as2ed at last) $ut recei3ed no direct answer! :1ou will hear from us a.ain): said 'rachten$er.! * was dismissed) and * wal2ed out of the room) still wonderin. a$out this stran.e interro.ation that had no $e.innin. and no end! 0o dou$t it was to 2ee+ me from .oin. to the con3ention $ecause they were afraid * ma2e em$arrassin. statements which would lea2 to the +ress! 'hey need not ha3e feared! * was in no condition to ta2e the initiati3e in anythin. so difficult! A new +lan a.ainst me de3elo+ed in the followin. wee2s) a strate.y of slurs) character defamation) harassments! 'here were) of course) still many +eo+le in the tradeFunion mo3ement and es+ecially teachers who were not +art of the inner communist circle who remem$ered the days of my cam+ai.nin.! 0ow the Party decided to $lac2en my character +u$licly so that the sim+le wor2in. +eo+le in the Party who li2ed me would no ha3e confidence in me! 'he incident which was used as the e8cuse for my formal e8+ulsion from the Party was of no im+ortance in itself! 'he way in which it was handled was sym+tomatic of Party methods! -n 4e8in.ton A3enue) a few doors from my home) li3ed a C,echoslo3a2ian woman with whom * sometimes tal2ed! She li3ed in a small threeFstory $uildin. where she ser3ed as Ganitor from 1941 to 194>! /er hus$and was +ermanently inca+acitated and she was the sole su++ort of the family! Actin. as a Ganitor and wor2in. as a domestic se3eral days a wee2) she mana.ed to 2ee+ her family to.ether! *n 194> the owner of the $uildin. decided to sell it! 'he woman) afraid she would lose $oth her a+artment and her Go$) made u+ her mind to $uy it) and $orrowed the money to do so! 'hus she $ecame technically a landlordB $ut her daily life remained the sameB she was still the Ganitor! /owe3er) as owner of the house she had $ecome in3ol3ed with her

tenants and in ;uic2 succession three Gud.ments were entered a.ainst her! /er hus$and ;uarreled and left her! 'he attorney for the +laintiffs) to collect his fees) as2ed warrants for her arrest! At this +oint she came to me for hel+ and * a.reed to re+resent her! *n the end the court .ranted my +lea) the tenants were +aid) and the woman esca+ed im+risonment! -ne thin. was clear9 only technically could she ha3e $een called a landlord! "ut the communist leadershi+ heard with that "ella #odd had a++eared as :attorney for a landlord!: At last they had the e8cuse for .ettin. me +olitically) the e8cuse far which they had $een loo2in.! -f course they could ha3e sim+ly e8+elled me $ut this would in3ol3e discussion of +olicies! 'hey were loo2in. for an e8cuse to e8+el me on that would $esmirch my character) dri3e my friends away) and sto+ discussion instead of startin. it! Chat $etter than to e8+el me for the crime of $ecomin. a :hirelin. of the landlords:E 'hey must ha3e reali,ed that such an ar.ument would scarcely $e co.ent to outsiders! J3en to many of the Party it was wea2! 'hey must add somethin. really unfor.i3a$le to ma2e me an outcast in the eyes of the sim+le +eo+le of the Party! 'hey did this $y s+readin. the story that in my court a++earances * had made remar2s a.ainst the Puerto %ican tenants) that * had slandered them) and showed myself a racist) almost a fascist! And last of all) a char.e of antiFSemitism) and antiFwor2in. class was thrown in for .ood measure! -n (ay 6 a youth leader oP the Communist Party) a roundFfaced) solemn youth) came to my house! * as2ed him in and offered him a cu+ of coffee) which he refused! *nstead) he handed me a co+y of written! Chen * said somethin. a$out their falseness after * .lanced throu.h them) he .a3e me a sneerin. loo2 and instructed me to a++ear for trial the ne8t day at the local section commission) a $loc2 from my house! * clim$ed the endless stairs to the dra$) dirty meetin. room with its smell of stale ci.arettes! A .rou+ was waitin. for me and * saw it consisted entirely of +etty em+loyees) of the Party) those at the lowest run. of the $ureaucracy! 'he three women amon. them had faces hard and full of hate F Party faces) * humorless and! 'hey sat there li2e fates ready to +ass on the destinies of human $ein.s! * had no ;uarrel with these +eo+le! *n fact) as * loo2ed at the .rou+ * had the feelin. of a schoolteacher when small children $ecome suddenly defiant of authority! -ne woman) the chairman) was ?innish! Another) a Puerto %ican) $ shoutin. her hatred of me! At least it must ha3e $een hate to Gud.e from her e8+ression) for her Jn.lish was too hysterical to $e understood! 'he +ud.yFfaced $oy was there) too! -f the other three men *,ed one as a waiter and the other as a +iccolo +layer whom * had $efriended! 'his was an odd 2ind of trial! 'he Commission $efore me had already made u+ its mind! * as2ed whether * could +roduce witnesses! 'he answer was :0o!: * as2ed if * $rin. the woman in3ol3ed in the case to let her state the story! 'he answer was :0o!: * as2ed if the Commission would come with me to her house and s+ea2 with her and the tenants!

'he answer was :0o!: 'hen * as2ed if * $rin. a communist lawyer who at least understood the technicalities * had $een faced with in tryin. this sim+le case! 'he answer was :0o!: As sim+ly as +ossi$le * tried to e8+lain the facts to them! ?rom the start * reali,ed * was tal2in. to +eo+le who had $een instructed) who were hostile) and would continue so des+ite ar.uments or e3en +roof! 'he ?innish woman who was chairman said that * would $e informed of the result! * was dismissed! As * wal2ed down the din.y ste+s my heart was hea3y! 'he futility of my life o3ercame me! ?or twenty years * had wor2ed with this Party) and now at the end * found myself with only a few sha$$y men and women) inconse;uential Party functionaries) drained of all mercy) with no humanity in their eyes) with no .ood will of the 2ind that wor2s Gustice! /ad they $een armed * 2now they would ha3e +ulled the a.ainst me! * of the others who had $een throu.h this and of those who were still to .o throu.h this ty+e of terror! * shi3ered at the of harsh) dehumani,ed +eo+le li2e these) filled with only the emotion of hate) ro$ots of a system which was heralded as a new world! And * sorrowed for those who would $e ta2en down the lon. road whose end * saw) now) was a dead end! Chen * reached my own house and went in) the rooms were cool and ;uiet! * was tired and s+ent) as if * had returned from a lon.) ni.htmare Gourney! -f course * was certain more trou$le was in store for me! 'his ste+ had $een merely +reliminary to +u$licity a.ainst me) cle3er +u$licity! ?or this e8+ulsion had not ori.inated in the dirty rooms of the /arlem Commission) $ut from the head;uarters on 'welfth Street) and +erha+s from more distant head;uarters! * dreaded the comin. +u$licity and decided to .et in touch with the one .rou+ whom * had re.arded as my friends! * called the 'eachers Union to tell the Party leaders what was surely comin.! * they would understand and discount any false accusations! * need not ha3e $othered! ?rom the testimony of 7ohn 4autner months later $efore the Senate *nternal Security Committee * learned that %ose %ussell and A$raham 4ederman) leaders of the 'eachers Union) had $een +resent at the State Party meetin. which en.ineered and confirmed my e8+ulsion and issued the resolution to the +ress! 'he 3ote had $een unanimous! -n 7une 1>) 1949) my tele+hone ran.! :'his is the Associated Press): said a 3oice! :Ce ha3e recei3ed a statement from the Communist Party announcin. your e8+ulsion from mem$ershi+! *t says here that you are antiFPuerto %ican) antiFSemitic) antiF la$or) and the defender of a landlord! /a3e you any statement to ma2eE: Chat statement could * ma2eE :0o comment): was all * could mana.e to say!

'/J 0ew 1or2 news+a+ers the story of the e8+ulsion of a woman Communist was merely one more story! *t was handled in the routine way! * winced) howe3er) when re+uta$le +a+ers headlined the Communist Party char. them were many of my former students and fellow teachers! *f reGection $y an indi3idual can cause the emotional destruction which our +sychiatrists indicate) it cannot) in some ways) com+are with the de3astation +roduced $y a .uoted from the Party resolution! * $raced myself for further attac2s from the Party) and they came soon in terms of economic threats! Some of my law +ractice came from tradeFunion and Party mem$ers) and here action was swift! 'he union Communists told me there would $e no more referrals to me! Party mem$ers who were my clients came to my office) some with their new lawyers) to withdraw their +endin.le in which * was lost) in which * felt hunted! Corst of all) * felt a constant com+ulsion to e8+lain myself to those * met who were still in the communist circle! * tried at first) $ut soon .rou+ reGection! 'his) as * learned) is annihilatin.uent .a3e it u+! * had always $een an inde+endent +erson and rarely . thin.s! 0ow * wrote letters to +eo+le) some of whom had li3ed in my house or had $een +roudly of my hundreds of friends and how stron. resolution of e8+ulsion) si. day and three days later the 3aily 4orker re+rinted the lon.'he 0ew 1or2 +a+ers carried the story the alon. world and that there were many +eo+le other than Communists in it! *t $rou.rou+ acce+tance) and emotions were stirred or dulled $y +ro+a.a3e my reasons for doin.e communist world is ne3er a +ersonal emotion! 1ou were lo3ed or hated on the $asis of .anda! 'hat no consolation) for the world was a Gun. well with their . the teachers whom * had considered friends! Chile * was $usy with Party wor2 * sometimes thou. cases! %e+risals came) too) in the form of tele+hone calls) letters) and tele.rams of hate and 3itu+eration) many of them from +eo+le * did not 2now! Chat made me feel desolate were the re+risals from those * had 2nown $est) those amon.h * 2new these words were only .oal! J3en +ersonal friends) some of whom * myself had ta2en into the Party) were lost to me now) and amon.rou+s9 they thin2 and feel to.ned $y %o$ert 'hom+son! CHAPTER SIXTEEN '.anda was made $y the +owerful +eo+le at the to+! 'hat is why ordinary Communists . were the ties that $ound us! 0ow those $onds were ro+es of sand! Chat * had failed to understand was that the security * felt in the Party was that of a .rou+ and that affection in that stran.ether and wor2 toward a common .ht to disassociate themsel3es from me! 'wo friends re+lied in .! *n 3ain * told myself that this was a $ and used the words HfascismI and Hracism)I e3en thou.uests there) and in whose homes * had $een welcome! 'hose who re+lied were either a$usi3e or o$3iously sou.

uaintance) Cellin.h! 'he 0ew 1or2 Post as2ed me to write a series of articles on why * had $ro2en with the Communist Party) and made me a .rou+ +lannin. $ells of the churches! (ore than once * thou.a3e u+ my home and mo3ed into a din.ed in with a $road smile and said he was Gust +assin.e town! "ut * did not .reed! "ut when * had finished them and read them o3er * did not want to see them +u$lished and found an e8cuse for refusin. the offer! Chen a wee2ly ma. oneself emotionally from $ein. and +ainful +rocess) much li2e that of a +olio 3ictim who has to learn to wal2 all o3er a.ine made an e3en more lucrati3e offer) * refused that) too! 'here were se3eral reasons for this) as * now reali.ry for 2nowled.ant) made me feel that * 2new all the answers! * had to learn that * 2new nothin. my office was em+ty e8ce+t for snoo+ers and creditors! * . and the . and .I a Communist! *t was a of lea3in. $loc2s in this +rocess! -ne afternoon in (arch of that year an old ac.e the self and the +ride that had made me arro. a Communist is a sentence on the $ac2 of the letter * had written them only this9 HPlease do not in3ol3e us!I (any did not answer at all! "efore lon. me! Somethin.e and +ainful year! 'he +rocess of com+letely freein.y from my system! * had to dislod.ayety and noise from 'imes S. myself in the anonymity of a stran.led with the wa3e of nihilism en.o early to my office) read the 'imes and the 4aw 7ournal) and then sit and loo2 out at "ryant Par2) at the classical lines of the Pu$lic 4i$rary! * had s+ent many hours in that li$rary as student and teacher) hun. stu$$orn in me told me * must see it throu.rou+ thin2in.y room near my office! * would .ain! * had to learn to thin2! * had to learn to lo3e! * had to drain the hate and fren.e! Unfortunately * ne3er really satisfied that hun. e3en in my days of star2est Party delusion! * stayed late in my office $ecause there was no +lace to . in me stru. so close and so com+rehensi3e as that of the Party! * had often seen leaders +ull $oo2s from shel3es in homes and warn mem$ers to destroy them! "ut * had no desire to read now! 'he one $oo2 * did o+en was the 0ew 'estament which * had ne3er sto++ed readin.ain! 'hat is why * ha3e lost trac2 of whole days and wee2s of that +eriod! "ut * had $e.ton %oe) came into my office! /e $ree.e9 one was that * did not trust my own conclusions) and another that * could not $ear to hurt +eo+le * had 2nown in the Party and for whom * still felt affection! Some * 2new were entra++ed as surely as * had $een! *t was a no outsider can understand! 'he . in later years had $een only communist literature and technical material! 'here is no censorshi+ of readin.o! Somethin.uare and the rin. 0ew 1or2 and losin.enerous offer! * a.ulfin.rou+ life of the Party had $een a +art of me for so lon.a.un the +rocess of Hun$ecomin. that it was des+erately difficult for me to $e a +erson a.o other than my room) a dar2) un+leasant +lace) with the odor of a secondFclass hotel! * still remem$er the misery and dar2ness of the first Christmas alone! * stayed in my room all day! * remem$er the 0ew 1ear which followed) when * listened with utter des+air to the .. and had decided to .er) for my readin.! 'here were many stum$lin.

to . to Cashin.say hello! * thou.i3e him an affida3it sayin.ain the ne8t day) this time with a man he introduced as A$e ?ortas) 4attimoreDs attorney! * did not 2now him) $ut * had heard of him reaction where3er it was manifestin.n! /e as2ed if * had e3er 2nown -wen 4attimore! * said * had not! /ad * e3er 2nown him to $e a Party mem$er) he as2ed) and a.ain * said no! * had heard of him 3a. used for their cam+ai.ned an affida3it to that effect) and * thou. to hel+ Professor 4attimore! * re+lied * did not see how) since * did not 2now him! /e tal2ed of the im+ortance of ha3in.un in the %e+u$lican cam+ai.ton he would $e ha++y to ma2e a reser3ation for me! /e would e3en rent a ty+ewriter so that * could +re+are a statement! At the in3ol3ed with those of others! "ut he came a.s was related in some way to 7ose+h #a3ies) former am$assador to %ussia) who had written the friendly (ission to . aware) it was that * com+lete control of the 4a$or Party! * had not 2nown him as a Party mem$er $ut as a li$eral and a friend of the Party) one who did not mind $ein.ainst #u$ins2y when the Party was stru.ent in the ?ar Jast! A few wee2s later #u2e wal2ed in a. that * had not heard of 4attimore while * was a leader in the Communist Party! So * nothin.e news+a+erman) and lau. to tal2 a$out the Party in terms of the a3era. further of his 3isit! H#u2e)I as we all called him) had $een one of the PartyDs front candidates in the American 4a$or Party! /e was the leader of the Staten *sland forces and had run for office on its tic2et! /e had hel+ed in the fi. to .ht of him as the o+enin.ns! *t was reassurin.lin.e antics which he lam+ooned! * told him a$out my articles and he said he wanted to see them and e3en s+o2e of a +ossi$le $oo2 contract! 'hen he tal2ed of e3ents in he would ha3e to su$+oena me in the defense of 4attimore! Chen he saw my reluctance he as2ed if * would $e willin.e of (assachusetts) and Senator /ic2enloo+er of *ndiana! "ac2 of them sat Senator (cCarthy) and ne8t to him %o$ert (orris) whom * had 2nown as one of the attorneys for the %a++FCoudert Committee! * studied the senators $efore me! * 2new that Senator 'ydin.h at its stran.ton! * told him * had $een so immersed in my own trou$les that * had +aid little attention to current e3ents! *f * had any o+inion a$out Senator (cCarthy) of whom he s+o2e) and of whom the country was Gust $ecomin..oin.ain and this time as2ed if * would $e willin.s sat Senator Nreen of %hode *sland) Senator (c(ahon of Connecticut) Senator 4od.n %elations Committee of the Senate! #umfounded) * called #u2e! /e said it was no sur+rise to him! Since he was . itself! 'his left me uncon3inced! * had +ro$lems of my own and for once * did not wish to .ht that was the end of it! * was nai3e to thin2 so! A few days later * was ser3ed with a su$+oena $y the ?orei.s * saw 4attimore for the first time! #u2e was there too! At a ta$le with Senator 'ydin. all li$erals unite to fi.uely) * said) as a "ritish a. .h mutual friends as a man who often defended ci3ilFser3ice em+loyees faced with loyalty +ro$es! After a short tal2 the attorney said he thou.

a. the s+ell which had held me! * had at last s+o2en o+enly and critically of the Communist Party! 'o those who find it difficult to understand how a mind can $e im+risoned) my +uny indictment of the communist mo3ement $efore the 'ydin.ain! * could read critically) and * li3ed a. fear of the forces +lannin. to see how i. flowers on the .anda durin.innin.uestions of o+inion there is no dou$t that $efore the 'ydin.s Committee may ha3e seemed sli.ain in the world so lon. alon.h the dar2ness * loo2ed out at the dim outline of houses in small towns and my heart went $ac2 to the memory of myself wal2in.) howe3er) ha++ened to me at this hearin.arded as a #emocraticF %e+u$lican fi.e * told the truth! "ut when it came to . a$out the little J+isco+alian cemetery as a child and +uttin.a3e some comfort to the Party $y my ne. an award from the So3iet of the successi3e to throw hostile .s Committee had ser3ed one .s Committee * still reacted emotionally as a Communist and answered as a Communist! * had $ro2en with the structure of the Party) $ut was still conditioned $y the +attern of its thin2in. and * wanted the truth! * found myself hittin.norant * had $ecome) how lon. with the +ostwar +ers+ecti3e of coFe8istence with the So3iet Union) a +osition easy for me to acce+t since it was much li2e the communist! 'here is no dou$t in my mind that on facts of which * had 2nowled. out of any mention of such +ersons as 'rots2y! * thou. e8ce+t Party literature! * thou.anda center in the United States) the %ussian *nstitute! * 2new of Senator (c(ahonDs +ro+osal for sharin.Moscow.uestions Senator /ic2enloo+er was as2in. desire to hel+ 2ee+ safe from all of our $oo2shel3es stri++ed of $oo2s .es! Suddenly * too wanted the answers to the . and who had $een acti3e in %ussian Car %elief) recei3in.uestioned $y the Party) how when a writer was e8+elled from the Party his $oo2s went) too! * thou.e with %ussia! * felt that these men in the seats of +ower had facts not a3aila$le to the rest of us) and were .ainst its way of life! * had an o3erwhelmin. lost to me! . at the du+licity of the Communist Party! * returned to 0ew 1or2 alone and as the train s+ed throu.oin.ood +ur+ose9 it had renewed my interest in +olitical e3ents) and it had the effect of $rea2in. the years of my in3ol3ement with the communist world! Chen Senator /ic2enloo+er $e.) and still hostile to its o++onents! Somethin. of So3iet history) the re3aluation) and in some cases the $ indeed) for * no dou$t .ati3e a++roach! "ut it ta2es time to Hun$ecomeI a Communist! "ut the e3ent had $een im+ortant to myself! * could now $reathe a. the country) a so$erin.! * was at last $e.uestions at me * reacted with the hostility of the Communist) and * .a3e slic2) su+erficial answers) for * did not want to $e drawn into what * re. since * had read of the systematic rewritin.ra3es of American heroes! And suddenly * was aware of the reality of what was all the +eo+le who li3ed in those little towns! (y a++earance $efore the 'ydin. our atomic 2nowled.

ani...ressional re+ort of the hearin.ether! *t irritated me) $ut when * thou.uestion whether the Party would o++ose the entry of our $oys into the Army! * had as2ed this .i3en me in re+ly to the .ainst the interests of our own wor2ers! 0ow * the destruction of my own country! * thou.a$le +icture! 'here had $een many thin. to de3elo+ into a the +resence of certain men of wealth within it accidental! * now saw this was no accident! * re.ed S+ain as a +re3iew of the re3olution to come! 0ow other +eo+les had $ecome e8+enda$le K the Moreans) 0orth and South) the Chinese soldiers) and the American soldiers! * found myself +rayin. a 3iolent cam+ai.innin.le which did not fit into the Party structure! Parallel or.arded the Communist Party as a +oor manDs +arty) and thou.lim+sed now $ecame more clearly 3isi$le) and their connections with the a++aratus * 2new $ecame a++arent! As the war in Morea de3elo+ed) further illumination came to me! Ce in the Party had $een told in 194<) after the +u$lication of the #uclos letter) that the Party in the United States would ha3e a difficult role to +lay! -ur country) we were told) would $e the last to $e ta2en $y the CommunistsB the Party in the United States would often find itself in o++osition not only to the interests of our .ations which * had dimly .o3ernment) $ut e3en a.ani.n for +eace) and it seemed reasona$le to me to draw +acifist conclusions! Po+ (indel suc2ed on his +i+e and with a 2nowin.le and could not fit them of the testimony of witnesses $efore the Con.arded the Party as a monolithic or. +eo+le of my country) *) and thousands li2e me) had $een led to a $etrayal of these 3ery +eo+le! * now saw that * had $een +oised on the side of those who of an answer Po+ (indel) of the PartyDs Jducation "ureau) had once .e +owerEI * reali.saw +u.ressional Committee) some of whom * had 2nown as Communists) much of the true +icture suddenly came into focus! (y store of odd +ieces was $e.ed that) with the $est moti3es and a desire to ser3e the wor2in.ain a$le to inter+ret e3ents! *n my time with the Party * had accumulated a lar.s on the *nstitute of Pacific Affairs! * found * was a.s * had not really understood! * had re.) HNod) hel+ them all!I . loo2 in his eyes said9 HCell) if we 2ee+ our mem$ers from the Army) then where will our $oys learn to use wea+ons with which to sei.ed how the So3iets had utili.uestion at a time when the Communists were conductin.ation with the leadershi+ in the 0ational Committee and the 0ational "oard! 0ow * saw this was only a facade +laced there $y the mo3ement to create the illusion of the +oor manDs +artyB it was in reality a de3ice to control the Hcommon manI they so raucously cham+ioned! 'here were many +arts of the* read the con.e store of information a$out +eo+le and e3ents) and often these had not fitted into the +icture +resented $y the Party to its mem$ers! *t was as if * held a thousand +ieces of a Gi.

.ated around there) the +etty thie3es) the +ic2+oc2ets) the +rostitutes) the small .ue an immi. Pennsyl3ania A3enue toward the Ca+itol! 0ear the /ouse -ffice "uildin.ressional re+resentati3e of the 'wentyFse3enth #istrict) the old Jast "ron8 area of my childhood! * had not seen him for more than a year! Chen * last saw him he had ta2en me to lunch and . * can do for youEI * felt a lum+ in my throat! * found myself tellin.lin.o on li3in.e that luncheon 3isit had $een! ?or the first time in many years and in a noisy restaurant in (anhattan someone had tal2ed to me re3erently a$out Nod! 'he +eo+le * had 2nown in my adult life had sworn in the name of Nod or had re+eated so+histicated Go2es on reli.ton to ar.reedy little men! *) too) was one of the reGected! Jarly in the fall of 19<0 * went to Cashin.h * was afraid) * was reluctant to li3e that 2ind of life! /e did not +ress the issue! *nstead) he .reeted me warmly and in3ited me to his office! * was ha++y to .o with him! 'here * found %ose) his secretary) whom * had 2nown! Chen we were in his +ri3ate office he said a$ru+tly9 H1ou loo2 harassed and distur$ed) "ella! *snDt there somethin. to find their way $ac2 to the world of reality! -ne was $$lers) and the shar+Ffaced) .ed to summer and summer into autumn) days and +ro$lems were re+eated in weary monotony! 'he few +eo+le * came in contact with were as dis+laced as myself! 'here were se3eral) out of the Party li2e myself) who were stru. +rofit from $lood! "ut * was alone with these thou.ood it had $een to tal2 a$out my mother to someone who had 2nown her! * recalled how stran..a3e it away! * +aid the +ersons who +ressed me hardest! Sometimes * went to 3isit mem$ers of my family) my $rothers and their children! "ut from these 3isits * returned more desolate than e3er! * had lost my familyB there was no returnin.! J3ery mornin. chan.! * had no dri3e to ma2e money! Chen * did ma2e some) * +aid creditors or .hts and had no o++ortunity to tal2 o3er my conclusions with friends! 'he year dra.Chat now $ecame clear to me was the collusion of these two forces9 the Communists with their timeta$le for world control) and certain mercenary forces in the free world $ent on ma2in. and e3ery e3enin. themsel3es into num$ed ho+elessness! (ore than once * wondered why * should .ed and se3eral were drin2in.ed on! S+rin. +ersonal %eality! /e as2ed me if * wanted ?"* +rotection) and * must ha3e shi3ered noticea$ly! 'hou. Si8th A3enue and ?ortyFsecond Street! * came to 2now the characters who con.ration a++eal! * had +lanned to return to 0ew 1or2 immediately afterward! *t was a clear) cris+ day) and * wal2ed alon.ion) $ut none had tal2ed of Nod as a li3in. * ran into an old friend) Christo+her (cNrath) the con. * wal2ed alon.i3en me some ad3ice! /e . him how much he had hel+ed me the day he had ta2en me to lunch) and how .

) a warm smile in his eyes! /e held out his hand as he crossed the room! H#octor) *Dm .nor Sheen at Catholic Uni3ersity)I he said! %ose +ut in se3eral calls and an a++ointment was made for me late that e3enin.ender fear and hatred in +eo+le li2e me! A thousand fears assailed me! Could he insist that * tal2 to the ?"*E Could he insist that * testifyE Could he ma2e me write articlesE Could he see me at allE And then $efore my mindDs eye flashed the co3er of a communist +am+hlet on which was a communist e8tendin.ion! *t s2illfully undermined the hierarchy in the +attern of the usual communist attem+t to dri3e a of the word H* me unaware! * started to than2 him for lettin.nor ?ulton Sheen wal2ed into the room) his sil3er cross . o3er and o3er and with a.ony) H'hey say * am a. at the (onsi.arded as a hard Communist) we+t as * felt the * thou. the tiny flame of lon. their was * me $ac2 to reality! Ce had arri3ed) and my friend was!I 'hat accusation in the Party resolution had made me suffer more than all the other 3ilification and 1) who had for years $een re.lad youD3e come)I he said! /is 3oice and his eyes had a welcome which * had not e8+ected) and it of many thin.uestion) * was ama.matic) oldFfashioned! ?or years they had $een used to en. anew! . dan.ed that the words which came did not ma2e sense! * $e. else! 'hen he as2ed9 H"ella) would you li2e to see a +riestEI Startled $y the .said9 H* 2now you are facin.ainst the 0e.s on that ride) of the word Hfascist)I used o3er and o3er $y the communist +ress in descri$ to cry) and heard my own 3oice re+eatin. the hel+ of someone * had hel+ed re3ile) e3en if only $y my silenceE /ow dared * come to a re+resentati3e of that hierarchyE 'he screechin. of the $ra2es $rou.. the role of the Church in the S+anish Ci3il Car! * also thou.ain! /ad there $een an easy e8it * would ha3e run out) $ut in the midst of my turmoil (onsi.ainst the Catholic Church which * had heard and tolerated) which e3en $y my silence * had a++ro3ed) were $ut if you wonDt ha3e that +rotection) * can only +ray for your safety!I /e loo2ed at me for a moment as if he wanted to say at the intensity with which * answered) H1es) * would!I HPerha+s we can reach (onsi. me come $ut * reali. the door$ell and was ushered into a small room! Chile * waited) the a.ot out of the car! * ran. and it flattered the wor2ers $y not attac2in.uisitionI so s2illfully used on all occasions! -ther terms came to me K reactionary) totalitarian) do.norDs home! * was silent as we dro3e to Che3y Chase! All the canards a.e $etween the Catholic and his +riest! "y what ri. a hand to a Catholic wor2er! 'he +am+hlet was a re+rint of a s+eech $y the ?rench Communist leader 'hore. for faith within me! * thou. me luc2 as * .le within me $e.

rie3ed at their +redicament! .) an * a.ain my loneliness was intensified! * was now li3in.nor Sheen +ut his hand on my shoulder to comfort me! H#onDt worry)I he said! H'his thin.i3en me! ?or the rest of that year * remained alone in 0ew 1or2) limited in my contacts to the few clients * ser3ed and the occasional friend who dro++ed in! 0ow and then * ste++ed into a church to sit there and rest) for only there was the! 'he +lane flew a$o3e a $lan2et of clouds) and o3er me were the $ri. in a furnished room on "roadway at Se3entyFfifth Street and still shuttlin.oodness of their mem$ers! 'hey stir the emotions with +hrases which are only a $lurred +icture of eternal truths! *n my reGection of the wisdom and truth which the Church has +reser3ed) and which she has used to esta$lish the harmony and order set forth $y Christ) * had set myself adrift on an uncharted sea with no com+ass! * and others li2e me .ht) a $eautiful) moonli.less and em+ty * learned are such +hrases as Hthe $rotherhood of manI unless they ha3e the solid foundation of $elief in NodDs ?atherhood! Chen * left (onsi.nor Sheen had .! 'he (cClures had mo3ed to a oneFroom a+artment on 11Ath Street where the rent of the decontrolled a+artment was fantastic for what it offered! "ut 7im and Clo made no a+olo. to 0ew 1or2 ne8t winter)I he said! HCome to me and *Dll .ently to a little cha+el! Ce $oth 2nelt $efore a statue of -ur 4ady! * donDt remem$er +rayin.i3e you instructions in the ?aith!I -n my way to the air+ort * ni.ram which had $een made e3en more attracti3e $ecause they a++ealed for Hsacrifice for our $rothers!I (! -n Christmas J3e) Clotilda and 7im (cClure) who had li3ed at my house on how communist leaders achie3e their . from my room to my office and $ac2 a.ton A3enue and who had 2e+t in touch with me and worried a$out me) called and ur.reatest stren. situation was a cruel wilderness cheatin.nor Sheen . inside of me eased for a while and only then fear left me! Christmas) 19<0) was a++roachin.ain e3ery day and and cle3erest snare when they use the will to .uerade as sa3iors! * thou.ras+ed with relief the fa2e certitude offered $y the materialists and acce+ted this +ro.) $ut * do remem$er that the $attle within me ceased) my tears were dried) and * was conscious of stillness and +eace! Chen we left the cha+el ( stars! * had my hand in the +oc2et of my $lue wool coat and it was closed o3er a strin. the +atient and undemandin.nor Sheen * was filled with a sense of +eace and also with an inner e8citement which stayed with me for many days! * flew $ac2 to 0ew 1or2 late that ni. of $eads with a cross at the end! All the way to 0ew 1or2 * held ti.(onsi. will +ass)I and he led me .ed me to s+end the e3enin.ies for their home) for they 2new how * .a3e me a rosary! H* will $e . accommodations! /arlem and its uns+ea2a$le how much he understood! /e 2new that a nominal Christian with a memory of the Cross can easily $e twisted to the +ur+oses of e3il $y men who mas. with them! After * sold my home they had had a misera$le time findin.htly to the rosary (onsi.

s under his feet!!!! 4ord) our 4ord) how admira$le is 'hy name in all the earth!I ?or a few moments after * had finished no one s+o2e! * handed the "i$le $ac2 to 7im! Clo +oured another cu+ of coffee for me! 'hen * said * was tired and ou.less acti3ity) a off the $us when it reached Se3entyFsecond Street to transfer for the west side! * reali.els !!! 'hou hast su$Gected all too far) $ut had no real desire to .an to read the wonderful +hrases of the +eo+le are ne3er saccharine or $itter! 7im handed me the $oo2 and said9 H/ere) woman) now you read us somethin.h the +a. the .o $y! -n many of those corners * had home since it was almost ele3en oDcloc2! * +romised * would come a. that street to the west side! (y ne8t recollection is of findin. their own +resent lon.!I * leafed throu. and ha++y +eo+le! * sat alone in the midst of them) with my face a.ot that in the warmth of their welcome! 'hey ru$$ed my cold hands and +ut me in their one easy chair) and Clo ser3ed a sim+le su++er! 7im said .ed in the crowd) halfway $etween the altar and the rear of the church! . myself in a church! 'he church) * learned later) was St! ?rancis of Assisi! *t was crowded! J3ery seat was filled! 'here was hardly room to stand) for +eo+le +ac2ed the aisles! * found myself wed.race as he had always done at our house! Ce tal2ed a$out Christmas) and as * listened to them * 2new why $itterness had not twisted these two! 'hey had made the $est of what they had! 'hey were .ay and full of life) and a$o3e all they were touched with a dee+ s+irituality which made their sha$$y room an island of harmony! 'here in a s. the $us at 'hirtyFfourth Street or of wal2in.hts that * for. the dra$ streets .uanderin.*t was cold when * arri3ed) $ut * for. on an e3ilFloo2in. of my creati3e years in sham $attle! So many wasted years) * thou.s of #a3id) and * reali.ed * had .ned! * had wal2ed many of them in a succession of months of meanin.lass they had found s+iritual comfort! After we had eaten) 7im o+ened his wellFworn "i$le and read a few of the +salms and then Clo read se3eral! As * listened to their warm) rich 3oices soundin.ers !!! Chat is man that 'hou art mindful of himE !!! 'hou hast made him a little less than the an. alon.ot to .et off the $us! * ha3e no recollection of Psalm9 H?or * will $ehold the hea3ens) the wor2s of 'hy until * found the one * wanted! * $ to .ain soon) and 7im wal2ed with me to the (adison A3enue $us and wished me a H(erry Christmas!I 'he $us was crowded with off the $us at all) and * watched (adison A3enue turn from stores and flats into smart sho+s and hotels) and when we crossed ?ortyFsecond Street * still did not . street with its $ac2 areas cluttered with refuse and $ro2en .ualid $ dra$ as the streetsL So immersed was * in my thou.s into these Son.reat +hrases * saw that they were +ourin.ainst the window) watchin.ed why the +rayers of the 0e.

nity whose lo3e of Nod +ermeated all her relations! * felt rela8ed as * sat there tal2in.low of ho+e! * 2new that * was tra3elin.hFschool teacher for years! 4o3ed and res+ected $y all) she re+resented a ty+e of teacher $ to tal2! She had $een a hi. with her) listenin. increasin. and sayin. three dee+ notesB the +eo+le were on their 2nees in adoration! * loo2ed at the faces etched in the soft li. a teacher! *n his office * met (ary %iley) his assistant! Since #r! Nreen$er.h they were $ein. could not see me at once) (iss %iley and * $e.e came from (ary %iley! *t contained $oo2s and ma. she was sorry they no lon. at the +icture she made with her soft .ood taste of her dress! * was somewhat sur+rised that she would tal2 to me for * 2new that my acti3ities and the doctrine * had s+read had $een offensi3e to her! "ut she was throu. closer and closer to home) .! "ut within me was a warm .un! ?rom the choir came the hymns of Christmas! 'hree +riests in white 3estments too2 +art in the ancient ritual! 'he $ell ran.h the years) the +eo+le * lo3ed and wanted to ser3e! /ere was what * had faces re3erent and than2ful! *t came to me as * stood there that here a$out me were the masses * had saw me at the "oard! * e8+lained that * had $een ha3in.ray hair) her warm $lue eyes) the .les to hel+ human $ein.e of +ersonnel) re.ardin. to her and so 3ainly in the Communist Party) the true $rotherhood of all men! /ere were men and women of all races and (ass was o3er) * wal2ed the streets for hours $efore * returned to my rare) as thou.e of a new world) one in which acts of 2indness were carried out anonymously and not used for +u$licity +ur+oses! Some days later a +ac2a. a lot of trou$le! She 2new! H'hatDs and social conditions cemented $y their lo3e for Nod! /ere was a $rotherhood of man with meanin. house! * noted no one of those who +assed me! * was alone as * had $een for so after (idni. that * was close to the ed. it mildly)I she said! H"ut donDt let anyone sto+ you) "ella! 1ou still ha3e a lot of friends! Ce donDt li2e communism $ut we do admire one who stru.ines dealin. systematically eliminated from our schools! She was a woman of +oise and di. with a 3ariety of thin. s+irit! And * had a feelin.s as you always ha3e!I * was mo3ed $y her words) for it was not the 2ind of tal2 * had heard of late! She went on to s+ea2 a$out the *nterracial Council that she had founded in "roo2lyn) and of which she was still a mo3in.! 0ow * +rayed! HNod hel+ me! Nod hel+ me)I * re+eated o3er and o3er! 'hat ni.Ser3ices had $e.uiet .s Catholic) such as the medical missions in .uided $y the Star! CHAPTER SEVENTEEN JA%41 *0 '/J 0JC 1JA% * went to the office of the "oard of Jducation to see #r! 7aco$ Nreen$er.a.) then su+erintendent in char.

* thou.uic2ened my interest in the communist mo3ement! 'hose $oo2s had $een in +raise of the chan.ruesome caricatures of him in the PartyFcontrolled +a+ers) and how they called him H/err #o2tor Schmidt!I 0ow * listened to Nodfrey Schmidt tal2 of America and its +eo+le with o$3ious sincerity) and * had an o3erwhelmin.ainst him) the .i3en me that had . of hate to $rin.eneration without a +ersonal re.9 H'here can $e no social re. afterward * was in the Criminal Courts "uildin.ation! Ce tal2ed a$out the measure of indi3idual res+onsi$ility for criminal acts! /e mentioned ?ather MellerDs words on that su$Gect and * said * had heard of him and admired his wor2! 'he of the 3iolent cam+ai.eneration! *t seemed addressed to me +ersonally! 'his was a new call to social action! 'his was no stirrin. from a lon.uiet of my office and * felt all throu. feelin. slee+! ?ather Meller did not lea3e me with a sense of aloneness or of futility! H*t is $etter to one candle than to curse the dar2ness)I he had written! 'o me) who had $e. of the flame of lo3e! * could not sto+ readin.un to feel that e3il was ready to en3elo+ the world) this was life itself! 1 was .e at the office of Nodfrey Schmidt) a militant Catholic lawyer) and a teacher at ?ordham 4aw School! * remem$ered him 3i3idly as the official in the 0ew 1or2 State #e+artment of 4a$or who had +re+ared the case a.e Pa.e in the world $rou.ated me intelli.ed a. the Scottori.ainst 0ancy %eed) the .. a$out social reform $ut the stirrin.rateful to the +riest for his words of life! 0ot lon.h ?ather MellerDs $oo2! *t was almost +rimiti3e in its sim+licity and * was cau. the $oo2! * sat there in the .Africa) the *nterracial Councils) and youth shelters! 'here was also a $oo2 $y a +riest9 7ames MellerDs You -an -%an#e t%e 4orld. $y its +ersonal in3itation to each reader K a call for selfFre. As * read the title my with sadness of Sarah Par2s K her $ a$out $y the %ussian %e3olution which at the time * had considered an u+hea3al necessary for the im+ro3ement of the social conditions of the %ussian +eo+le! * 2new now that .! * thou.eneration!I As * read * felt life flowin. of shame that * had +artici+ated in that cam+ai.h me the truth of ?ather MellerDs sayin.e as2ed me if * would li2e to meet the (ary2noll +riest! 0e8t afternoon 1 met the Gud.ence wasted $ecause she had no standard to li3e $y) of how in the end she too2 her own life rather than face its em+tiness! * thum$ed throu.rou+! 0ow) li2e some %i+ &an Cin2le) * was awa2enin.n of hate! . a youthful offender and * ran into Gud.lorification of re3olution and destruction of li3es in the ho+e that a $etter world would rise were fatally wron.n the Party had or.hts went $ac2 to Sarah Par2s) my teacher at /unter Colle.rateful to (ary %iley and .irl who had li3ed at my a+artment for a time and whose mother was an owner of the 3aily in3esti.nucco) formerly of the #istrict AttorneyDs office) who had interro.e) and the $oo2s she had . $ac2 into me) life to myself as a +erson! Cithin the Party * had $een o$literated e8ce+t as +art of the .

men and women of our day! As he and the other men discussed 3arious matters) * reali. men and women +ausin. the noon hour! J3eryone sto++ed wor2in. communicants) * en3ied them and lon. and went to (ass at the Church of -ur 4ady of Nuadalou+e) near where * now li3ed on Cest Se3enteenth Street! * felt e8citement when * turned east from Ji.ether! * loo2ed at the +riest in fran2 a++raisal and found myself interested in the harmony and +eace of his face and in his 2een understandin.?ather Meller came in with another friend and (r! Schmidt in3ited us to lunch to. close to them! * thou.rou+ were the words9 HAnd dwelt +eriod!I Chen he in3ited me to his office to meet some of the Christo+hers * acce+ted! * found myself returnin. a. matins $efore (ass! As * watched the faces of the mornin. US!I (y association with the Christo+hers showed me how little * 2new of my ?aith and made me reali.en of us were $usy in the room when the chimes from the near$y Cathedral ran.low merely in $ein. and recited the An.hted and * saw the +riest offer the Sacrifice! * felt myself inesca+a$ly drawn to the altar rail) $ut * still sat in the dar2ness of the rear +ews as a s+ectator! * was not ready) * told myself! And * had a dread of dramatic . in their wor2 to +ray to. little .o! H! ! ! "ehold the handmaid of the 4ord)I * heard) and H! ! ! the Cord was made flesh and dwelt the Communists the modern +rototy+e of the early Christians) come to cast .nity to a human $ein.! * smiled ruefully in recallin. around the altar of -ur 4ady of Nuadalou+e and when the candles were li.elus! * cau. of the +ro$lems facin. a.ain and a. us! I * did not 2now the res+onse and * stood silent! "ut * was dee+ly stirred to hear youn. the (ass to the +eo+le! 'he antiFclericalism which had $een a +art of my thin2in.ether) here in the most materialistic city e3er raised $y a materialistic ci3ili.ain to that office) im+ressed with the s+iritual .et the difference $etween the two clear in my own mind $efore * too2 any further ste+s! * had to 2now) and for myself! * +rayed now e3ery day! * rose early in the mornin. the Christo+hers at wor2 stirred a memory of the flame * had in my youth) the desire to hel+ those in trou$le) the sense of shame at any indi.e that * was li2e a dry tinder $o8 and that * wanted to learn! Seein.rou+s * had $een with at ta$les li2e this in the communist mo3ement! /ere there was no hatred and no fear! Ce tal2ed of $oo2s and tele3ision and of communism too) and ?ather Meller referred to the latter as Hthe last sta.ed why these three tal2ed so differently from the little .reed and selfishness from the world! 'he Communists too had +romised an order and a harmony of life! * 2new now that their +romises were fraudulent) and that the harmony they +romised $rou. for years dro++ed from me com+letely when * watched the of this continuous Sacrifice on the altars of thousands of churches all o3er the world) where3er there was a +riest to $rin. that * had thou.hts turned on each mornin.hth A3enue and hurried u+ the church ste+s to hear the "rothers sin.ed to $e one with them) and when each returned from the altar * felt a warm .ht) here and there) remem$ered words of +rayer * had heard only chaos and death! 1et * 2new too that * had to .uarters a do.uality * found there! -n my first 3isit to the Christo+her head.e of an u.ation! And * felt how true of this $elie3in.

uality which e8ists $etween +eo+le of different races and nations when they 2neel to. of /is Church) the (ystical "ody! * felt close now to all who recei3ed Communion in all the churches of the world! And * felt the true e.rou+ who had lost the art of reasoned thin2in.i3in.! And so * $ to recei3e instructions in the ?aith! Somethin.e was a++arent to me in my $eha3ior K * who had .ustine and the City o ! Nod infinitely more lifeF.uinas and * lau. stran.enerally $een s2e+tical and ar.ation of the ?aith) and ran. the $ell! "isho+ Sheen o+ened the door himself and * saw the sil3er cross on his chest) the smile in his eyes) $ut this time * heard a welcome home in his . * found St! 'homas! 'here were so many thin.h * was reasona$ly certain * had $een $ me a +rayer $oo2! 0e8t day he called me to say that "isho+ Sheen was in town and had a.) li2e one who had $een star3ed) $oo2s which the Communists and the so+histicated secular world mar2ed ta$oo or sneered at! * found St! Au.hted the dar2ness and o3ercome the confused dou$ts of others of my .ether at the altar rail K $efore Nod! And * came to lo3e this Church which made us one! * read often lon. and "isho+ Sheen said that * was ready! * had no $a+tismal record and a letter of in.estures! "ut as the days went $y * 2new the sense of strain was lea3in. for Nod! * listened to the 2een lo.ed! So it was decided * was to recei3e conditional $a+tism! -n A+ril >th) the anni3ersary of my motherDs $irthday) * was $a+ti. the words of 7esus Christ) the foundin.uiry to the town in *taly where * was $orn +roduced none) thou.reed to see me a.nucco stood on either side of me! Nodfrey Schmidt and a few other friends were with me too! .ed $y "isho+ Sheen at the font in St! Patric2Ds Cathedral! (ary %iley and 4ouis Pa.reat storehouse of his wisdom was o+ened to me) * felt rich $eyond all words! -ne day at lunch with Nodfrey Schmidt * e8+lained that * must learn more a$out the ?aith! As we wal2ed down Par2 A3enue) he too2 me into a $oo2sho+ and $ou.! 0ow) as the .s * had to 2now! * had wasted so many +recious years! Jaster of 19<= was a++roachin. and in its +lace had +ut asserti3e casuistry! * saw how history and fact and lo.ic and reasonin. that ha3e to feel an inner .ain! 'his was li2e a Goyful summons from an old friend! Cith (r! Schmidt * went to Jast 'hirtyFei.umentati3e now found that * as2ed few . than the defiant modern +rofessors who wrote T%e City o! Man.hth Street) to the offices of the Society for the Pro+a.uestions! * did not want to waste one +recious moment! Cee2 after wee2 * listened to the +atient tellin.hed to remem$er that all * had learned of St! 'homas was that he was a scholastic +hiloso+her who $elie3ed in the deducti3e method of thin2in.uiet! * found myself readin.. of the story of NodDs lo3e for man) and of manDs lon. me and * $e.ic were inherent in the foundations of the Christian faith! * listened to the "isho+ e8+lainin. into the ni.

indi3iduals who were +erha+s as $lind as * had $een and who were still $ein.h$ors with no feelin.eB how * had s. how 7udas *scariot that had reclaimed me mi.ly9 HCe +riests ha3e heard the sins of men many times! 1ours are no .ht $e of some hel+ in +rotectin.ranted a$solution! /is )a8 vobiscum echoed and reechoed in my heart! At (ass ne8t mornin. $efore .uired a new heart and a new conscience! -utwardly my life was chan.anda $y the a.atin.ens of our country were uninformed a$out the nature of (ar8ism and * reco. my confession he ..ed himself and the writers ended with the e8hortation) HNo thou and do li2ewise!I .ed now that in the $est sense of the word to HinformI means to educate! As a3enues of education are $loc2ed and twisted into +ro+a.uandered my $irthri.erated +ride of my mindB and on the tolerance * had for error! /e as a womanB on my twisted relationshi+ with my +arentsB on the e8a.i3e! "ut * dreaded the ordeal of reach the ones * lo3ed who still sit in dar2ness! *t was as if * had $een ill for a lon. * recei3ed Communion from his hands! And * +rayed as * watched the flic2er of the sanctuary lam+ that the 4i.ainst me! 0ow * formulated and tried to answer three critical .encies and in3esti.uestions9 #oes my country need the information * am called u+on to . time and had awa2ened refreshed after the fe3er had .o3ernmental a.i3eE Cill * $e scru+ulous in tellin.ed not at all! * still li3ed in a coldFwater flat on a street of tenement houses) $ut now * could . my +re+aration) for * had to co3er the many years in which * had denied the truth! * meditated on the moc2ery * had made of my marria.reater than those of others! /a3e confidence in NodDs mercy!I After hearin. the truthE Cill * $e actin.) when letters) tele+hone calls) and +ost cards of a$use came to me after my first a++earance $efore the *nternal Security Committee of the Senate! 'here was one interestin.uoted from the Nos+el of St! (atthew the words tellin. turn to the a$use9 the $ul2 of it was in $i$lical terms K H7udas *scariot)I Hthirty +ieces of sil3er)I Hdost thou $etrayI were the most common e8+ressions used! Suite a few .ently the difficult ordeal of a++earin. used $y the cons+irators! * dreaded the cam+ai.n of +ersonal a$use which would $e renewed a.ain) and when * +rayed there was always the Presence of /im * +rayed to! As order and +eace of mind returned to my life * was a$le to face of this cons+iracy) my country needed the information * had to .reet my nei.Afterward "isho+ Sheen heard my first confession! /e had noted that * was ner3ous and distrau. without maliceE * 2new that the information which * had mi.ed my des+air and said! * went a$out my wor2 with a calm that sur+rised me! * seemed to ha3e ac. our +eo+le! * 2new also that honest citi. of fear or mistrust! * was ne3er to $e lonely in ma2in. committees! * dreaded hurtin.

to com$at false doctrine with the 'ruth) and to or. force! 'oday there are unmista2a$le si. us ha3e +resented! 7ustice 7ac2son has said that it is the +arado8 of our times that we in modern society need to fear only the educated man! *t is 3ery true that what a man does with his 2nowled.uide me in at the $rilliant scientists who ser3ed the /itler conditioned $y materialism! 'he turn is so a++arent that *) +ersonally) am filled with ho+e where once * des+aired! (any of the molders of +u$lic o+inion in our country are still .uisite for a so$er a++raisal of the +resent challen.eared to ca+itulation and com+romise) $ut amon. the condition of the masses of our industrial society cannot $e successful if it attem+ts to force man into the mold of materialism and to des+irituali.e of the soul as the heart$eat is of the $ody! Chen man tries to re+ress it) his thin2in.ns a$out us that the tide is turnin. only to that +art of him which is of this earth! ?or no matter how often man denies the s+irit he will in an unaccounta$le manner turn and reach out to the Jternal! A lon.e is 3ery clear! .0ow * saw in true +ers+ecti3e the contri$ution that the teachers and the schools of America ha3e made to its +ro. the +eo+le the chan.) in s+ite of the fact that we ha3e $een so stron. can only la+se into chaos! * 2now that man alone cannot create a hea3en on earth! "ut * am still dee+ly concerned a$out my fellow man) and * feel im+elled to do what * can a.ime) and the So3iet scholars who ser3e the Mremlin) a loo2 at the men indicted for su$3ersion in our own country F all lead us to reFestimate the role of education! Ce are told that all +ro$lems will $e sol3ed $y more education! "ut the time has come to as29 HChat 2ind of educationEI HJducation for whatEI -ne thin.e acti3e a.orously to eliminate social ills) they must $e +re+ared to see the cons+irators of re3olution sei.e) without +ur+ose or $alance! * was mo3ed $y emotion and my education failed to . of the mindB and mere accumulation of information) without a sound +hiloso+hy) is not education! * saw how meanin. social maladGustments as a +rete8t! * $elie3e that the +rimary re.ress) Gust as * was sadly aware of the dar2er +icture some of the educators and the educated amon.e him $y caterin. sound +ersonal and +u$lic decisions! *t was not until * met the Communists that * had a standard to li3e $y) and it too2 me years to find out it was a false standard! 0ow * 2now that a +hiloso+hy and mo3ement that de3otes itself to im+ro3in.ation a lifeF.e of communism is to face it with a clear understandin.e +ower $y usin.i3in. and security! * am aware) too) that if .ainst the inhumanity and inGustices that threaten his wellF$ein.ood men fail to so lo3e one another that they will stri2e 3i.ency! A$o3e all there must $e a new $irth of those moral 3alues that for the +ast two thousand years ha3e made our ci3ili. has $ecome trans+arently clear to me9 rounded education includes trainin. of what it is! "ut it cannot $e fou.less had $een my own education) how li2e a cafeteria of 2nowled. of the will as much as trainin.ati3e manner! (an must $e willin. for Nod is as natural a in a ne.e is that which) in one sense) Gustifies or indicts that education! A .ency with acti3e a.

to the trainin. demand that they no in the face of the forces that +romote the disinte.rou+s of wor2ers in trade unions meet and +ray to.ainst the insidious wor2 of the Communists who see2 to +it one a.e of the thin.s of the s+irit with those of the world! 'here is a .ain! * ha3e seen fathers and mothers study the school +ro$lem to hel+ education from contri$utin.ious $ac2. of a fifth column for the enemy! * ha3e seen housewi3es in 'e8as) after a hard dayDs wor2) sit down to a course of study on the Constitution of the United States) and * ha3e heard them e8+lain what they learned to their children) determined that they shall not $e ro$$ed of their herita. to reali.ether and mo3e into slum areas in our $ we see si.ious conflict! * ha3e seen .h$ors and friends of the unfortunate! * was in3ited one ni.ns of a new ty+e of student! * ha3e noticed a chan.h$ors and those they the flame of lo3e as nei. +eo+le that * find the most arrestin.rowin.ent) wellFeducated youn.As * ha3e tra3eled a$out the country * ha3e seen e3idences of this! * ha3e seen men and women determined to set +rinci+le a$o3e +ersonal . the youn. +ower! 'he difference) too) was in their relation with their nei.e in colle.ain we witness an insistence u+on the union of 2nowled.. +eo+le at ?riendshi+ /ouse in 0ew 1or2 CityDs /arlem! * found them outwardly not 3ery different from those * had met in the communist mo3ement! 'he difference was that they were dedicated to a $elief in Gustice under Nod and therefore could not $e used as +u++ets $y men $ent on $ac2 to the little towns all o3er America determined to ma2e of their homes a citadel of moral stren.ration of family life! * ha3e seen $e se3ered! .ines are re+lete with horror stories of the decadence and un$elie3a$le cruelty and criminality of some of our youth! * ha3e tal2ed with youn.e reli. of the mind is of little 3alue to man himself or to society unless it is +laced in the framewor2 of eternal truths! -nce a.ainst the other to +ro3o2e racial and reli.innin.e that the trainin.a. men returnin.ether as they +lan for the safety of their country! 'hey are determined that the union which is necessary in their stru. from Corld Car ** and Morea who ha3e .ious societies which in my day were formal and social with only a .nition of Nod! 'here now emer.ns of chan.e! 'his des+ite the fact that the news+a+ers and ma.e! Ce ha3e increasin. to hel+! *n the communist mo3ement * was conscious of the fact that we +romised the material millennium to all who Goined our cause! /ere at ?riendshi+ /ouse they 2e+t $efore all the +rimacy of the s+irit) and those who came to them were hel+ed more effecti3ely $ecause of this! *n the to su++er $y the seen in our country the rise of social and ci3ic harmony in communities +eo+led with those of different national) racial and reli.esture in reco.ure of +ower! "ut it is amon.rounds! 'he men and women in these communities ha3e set their hearts and their wills a. industrial cities) dedicated to li.le for daily $read shall not $e used as a mechanism for the sei. men and women $and a new +henomenon! Students are $e.

) and these are sustained not $y the Communist creed $ut $y the credo of Christianity! And * am 2eenly conscious that only a .) and in s+ite of their a++arent 3ictories men schooled in dar2ness are doomed to defeat! 0ew armies of men are risin. to do after .ht that men such as these can chan.e the world for the $etter) so much were they filled with lo3e) so selfless was their .uietly) HChy donDt we say the rosary for +eaceEI /e started the -redo and there in the dar2ness of that country road) with the soft snow fallin. +eo+le! 'hen one of the $oys said .ht them still retained a memory of Nod and who) e3en without reali.ood the Communists ha3e achie3ed has come throu. it) drew on the eternal standards of truth and Gustice! "ut their store of such men is dwindlin.* was +articularly struc2 with this new ty+e of student one e3enin. them for they cannot create the 2ind of men needed for the tas2! Chate3er a++arent .uestions that ?ather -D"rien as2ed three youn.oin. man who was with sudden sadness of his +ossi$le future and that of all our youn.) we said the rosary for +eace! * was aware as * rode home that ni. intellectual in a society stee+ed in +a.uidance of two +riests trained to understand the dan.eal! * 2now that e3en if the Communists were sincere in the .litterin. +romises they ma2e) they would $e inca+a$le of * had stayed so late in answerin.h human $ein.uess)I he re+lied! *n his 3oice was no $itterness) no resentment K and * thou.s who des+ite the harsh materialism tau.ers facin. what he was .an to snow! * as2ed the youn.h the Connecticut hills it $e. the youn.anism! 'hat e3enin. last year when * s+o2e at the Uni3ersity of Connecticut $efore the 0ewman Clu$! 'he Clu$) which was housed in the $asement of the cha+el) was ali3e with acti3ity! *t had a li$rary and a social center) and it had the . +eace and order to our world! J0# .eneration of men so de3oted to Nod that they will heed his command) H4o3e one another as * ha3e lo3ed you)I can $rin. men to dri3e me to the train in 0ew 4ondon! As we rode throu. .raduation! HSer3e Uncle Sam) * .

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