You are on page 1of 147

Rs 30


AUGUST (SECOND) 2009
WOMAN ’S ERA AUGUST (SECOND) 2009







● ●

● ●
● ●

AUGUST (SECOND) 2009
Vol 36, Issue No. 857
CONTENTS
BUILDS HAPPY HOMES
Founder: Vishwa Nath
(1917-2002)
womansera.com

80

6
STAY TOGETHER BUT 11
JODHAA AKBAR
JEWELLERYGLITTERED!
Venkateshwarlu Kolluru

STAND APART ENERGY LEECHE


Suman Bajpai Suniti Kharbanda
124
ARTICLES
26 THE BOON OF PRE-
MARRIAGE COUNSELLING
Suman Bajpai
30 ROMANCE OF THE
PAINTINGS OF RAJASTHAN ERRATIC SCHEDULES
Kusum Mehta A. C.Tuli
70 A BURNING
NATIONAL ISSUE 122 MONKEY’S
Anil Merani PRECAUTIONS TO
72 THE GREEN WORLD
Dr Alka Singh 22 POISON
K. M. Sharma

88 WHY MORE AND MORE DAD’S THE WORD! 126 PANDIT RONU
Mita Banerjee
WOMEN ARE DRINKING MAJUMDAR
Aruna Anand Subhra Majumdar
62
90 AN ARTIST WITH 128 PASSPORT TO AT HER
DISTINCTION: SRUSHTI NOWHERE CURVACEOUS
Gayatri T. Rao Neha Kirpal
BEST
94 PAINTING WOMEN 136 SETTING UP A
OF TODAY PERFECT GUEST ROOM
Our Correspondent Bhavna Keswani

116 VIRAL HEPATITIS 36


Rachna Pande

118 KABINI THE PERFECT


MONSOON MAKE-UP
LIGHT AND SHEER
COOKERY
GETAWAY FOR NATURE Suman Bajpai
LOVERS 46 WAYS TO SERVE RICE
● Sweet Canapes
powder
4 tsp cocoa
10-12 tsp water or sauce
chocolate syrup

Barry Smith METHOD


Preheat oven. cake
three small
round
Line

parchme nt

● Rainbow Rice
pans with flour, baking
paper. Combine in a bowl. Beat
Italian twisters
powder, soda milk in a
condense d
butter and mixer
with an electric and
large bowl the flour mixer
until fluffy. Add Pour
d enough water
and beat well.
a medium ITALIAN

Rice Coriander Soup


Novel metho batter into

FICTION

half of the
TWISTERS
remaining batter into
Pizza swirls
for making them.a
bowl. Spoon melted
bag. Stir into
a plastic
or cocoa powder INGREDIENTS:
By Savita Bhargav
whirls
Peanut choco
mozarella cheese chocolate
spoon into another 11/4 cups flour
1 cup grated batter in bowl, in
pasta sauce Cut 1/2-1”
opening 1 tbsp butter
1/2 cup prepared plastic bag. bag. Pipe 3 1/2 tsp sugar

TASTY SNACKS
corner of each of yellow
PEANUT
Tacho Rice
METHOD yeast bottom g rings 1/2 tsp salt


sugar and even alternatin
Mix the milk, until yeast batters into 11/2 tsp dry yeast (instant)
CHOCO in a bowl.
Let stand
flour, salt and
butter and
chocolate
pans, two
beginning
edge 1/4 cup warm
milk

WHIRLS essence. Form into


a
foams. Place
in another
bowl. Mix in
form into
the yeast prepared
a soft with
chocolate
rings along
beginning
with a 1 tsp dried
pan and one for about 20-25 1 tbsp grated
mixed herbs
cheese
the vanilla water. mixture and covered of
INGREDIENTS: using cold the dough ring. Bake
flour soft dough in plastic, dough. Keep again, yellow y. Place METHOD salt,
85 gm refined 1/3 cup sugar a disc, wrap in size. Knead Cool completel butter, sugar,
Mix the flour,

Mango Rice Kheer


Shape into on
powder lemon rind an hour. Roll out minutes.with chocolate edge a cheese.


1/2 tsp baking 1 tsp grated for at least till double herbs and
it in two. layer with yeast, mixed a
3 tsp cocoa
powder 1/4 tsp salt
refrigerate
flour in a
baking and divide a floured a spread top milk and prepare
Grease and and pat square on serving plate, sauce, repeat with Add the warm
85 gm butter 6 tbsp cold
butter dough on it dough to a pasta sauce over Take small
portions,
sugar essence sheet. Place circle, forming of
a
surface. Spread pasta reasoning little
chocolate
layer, then soft dough. and on a
3 tbsp castor 1 tsp vanilla into a 10 inch a little ged Take two rolls
1/2 tsp vanilla essence 3/4 cup mixed
fruit jam Pierce bottom in it. Sprinkle Roll yellow-edchocolate-edged layer. roll them. surface, twist
high edge. of the cheese. lightly floured Place these
1/4 cup shelled
peanuts juice with a fork.
Bake on it and half to enclose
remaining
melted chocolate
.
1 tsp lemon dough all over about 25
style Top with them together.
sugar d oven for dough swiss-rollcross-wise into 1 on prepared
2 tbsp icing

Broccoli Pulao
cherries or roll bread sticks Press down
whipped cream a pre-heate


till slightly browned.in a filling. Cut on a
METHOD sweetened minutes or Place slices baking sheets. to prevent
flour, baking (optional) lemon juice inch slice. sheet or tray.
Sift together powder. Beat ice cream Melt jam with over low heat baking edges slightly Bake
unravelling.

16 ARE YOU A GODDESS?


greased
powder and
cocoa
together METHOD saucepan golden brown twists from
castor sugar flour, almonds,a small e. Bake until Transfer to brown. Serve
butter and in the Mix together in until spreadabl cup jam mixture about 15 minutes. and serve until golden
and creamy. Beat lemon rind and salt 1/2 the dish
till pale essence. sugar, and Spread warm.
and vanilla in the butter of shell. Arrange a serving
flour mixture bag large bowl. Mix over bottom remaining immediately.
in a piping Brush with
Put the mixture star nozzle and fruit on top.
N
CINNAMO
large
fitted with a baking jam mixture.
on greased
CHECK COFFEE CAKE
pipe whirls Place a peanut

48 TASTY SNACKS
sheets or trays.of each whirl.
in the centre moderately
in a PIZZA BOARD CAKE INGREDIENTS:flour
SWIRLS
Sunanda Ramachandra
Then bake
until set. Cool INGREDIENTS: d milk 11/3 cup refined
hot oven, sugar
the biscuits,
serve dusted INGREDIENTS: 200 gm condense
1/2 cup granulated
(maida)
with icing sugar. 21/2 cups flour 140 gm maida 1/2 cup butter milk
2 tbsp butter butter oil
60 gm melted cake 1/3 cup refined
1 tsp sugar essence Check board
1 tsp vanilla

GLAZED
1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp soda
3 tsp dry yeast 1 tsp baking
powder
August (Second)
2009

PLUM TART

1/2 cup warm milk Woman’s Era

● Peanut Choco Whirls


reasoning
2 tsp pasta
INGREDIENTS: flour Glazed plum
tart
11/3 cups refined

38 WHERE HAVE
almonds
1/2 cup finely ground ● August
(Second) 2009
Woman’s Era

60
● Glazed Plum Tart
ALL THE GIRLS GONE? ● Pizza Swirls ● Sweet ‘N’ Spicy
Kasturi Rangachari ● Check Board Cake Pakoras
THE ART OF ● Italian Twisters ● Twice Baked Potatoes
74 THE IMPRINT (PART-II) BARGAINING ● Cinnamon Coffee ● Baked Sandwiches
Kumud Bhatnagar Ashutosh Rawal Cake ● Baked Crispy Stars
20
FASHION NEWS IN
PICTURES

14 THE INCIDENT
I CANNOT FORGET
53 MY MOST
82
UNFORGETTABLE CULTIVATE
EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE THE PAT-ON-
THE-BACK
125 GRATEFULLY YOURS TECHNIQUE
130 NEIGHBOURS ALL 84 Shantha Nagarajan

132 CROSSWORD BOMBAY FILMDOM


141 BABY CLUB
146 AS YOU SAY FEATURES
18 AN ODE TO WHAT 97 PERSONAL PROBLEM
ONCE WAS (Poem)
140 KITCHEN QUERIES
19 BEAUTY QUERIES
142 CLASSIFIEDS
59 MY FAMILY,
MY FRIENDS AND ME...
66 THE FIRST SHOWER READERS’
(Poem) CONTESTS
67 YOUR BODY FILL UP THE Page

54 44 79 NEW LAUNCHES
CROSSWORD
AND WIN RS 15,000
132

FANCIFUL FLIGHT IMAGINATIVELY 93 CAMPUS RUMPUS EVERY FORTNIGHT


OF BEAUTY ARTISTIC

Editor, Publisher & Printer CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENT Lucknow: B-G/3, 4, Sapru Marg, Bhopal: 12-B Maharana Pratap
PARESH NATH DEPARTMENT Lucknow-226001. Nagar, Zone-I, Bhopal-462011
M-12, Connaught Circus, Phone: 0522-2218856, Phone: 2573057, 3954124
Printed at Delhi Press Samachar
New Delhi-110 001.
Patra Pte Ltd., A-36, Sahibabad,
Phone: 011-23416313. Chennai: 14, Cison’s Complex, Jaipur: Geetanjali Tower, Shop No.
Ghaziabad and Delhi Press, OFFICES Montieth Road, Chennai-600 008. 114, Opp. Vyas Hospital Ajmer Road,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Ahmedabad: 503, Narayan Phone: 044-28554448 Jaipur 302 006. Phone: 3296580
New Delhi-110 055 and published Chambers, Ashram Road, Title WOMAN’S ERA registered
on behalf of Delhi Press Patra Ahmedabad-380 009. Mumbai: A-4, Shriram Industrial with Government of India as trade
Prakashan Pte Ltd. from Phone: 079-26577845. Estate, GD Ambedkar Marg, mark.
E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Wadala, Mumbai-400 031,
New Delhi-110 055. Bangalore: Delhi Press Ph: 022-24101192, RATES: Inland
E-mail: admin@womansera.com No. 21, G-3, H.V.S. Court, 24122661, 24113970. 1 copy Rs 30
EDITORIAL, Cunningham Road, Bangalore-52 1 year annual subscription: Rs 650.
Ph: 22267233 Patna: 111, Ashiana Towers,
ADVERTISEMENT &
Exhibition Road, International Subscription
PUBLICATION OFFICE
Kolkata: Poddar Point, Patna-800 001, Air Mail: US $ 100 (One Year)
Delhi Press Building, 113, Park Street, Kolkata-700 016. Phone: 0612-2685286,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate, US $ 190 (Two Years)
Phone: 033-22298981
Rani Jhansi Marg, US $ 270 (Three Years)
Secunderabad: 122, Chenoy
New Delhi-110 055. Sea Mail: US $ 34 (One Year)
Kochi: G-7, Pioneer Towers 1, Trade Centre, 116, Park Lane,
Subscription amount, in any
Phone: 41398821, 41398888. Marine Drive, Kochi-682 031. Secunderabad-500 003.
currency equivalent to US $ as
Fax: 91-11-23625020 Phone: 0484-2371537. Phone: 040-27896947
mentioned above may be
The names of characters used in all ISSN 0971-1503 Self-addressed stamped remitted through credit card,
fiction and semi-fiction articles are No article, story, photo or any envelopes must be enclosed cheque, bank draft or money
other matter can be reproduced
fictitious. from this magazine without written with all manuscripts, order payable at
permission. otherwise the rejected New Delhi, drawn in favour of:
COPYRIGHT NOTICE This copy is sold on the condition that material will not be returned. Delhi Prakashan Vitran Pte Ltd
© Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd. jurisdiction for all disputes concerning No responsibility is assumed E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-110 055. sale, subscription and published matter for material submitted for New Delhi-55.
India. will be forums/tribunals at Delhi. publication. www.womansera.com
EDITORIAL
in IPC. For example, the above-mentioned section was
ALL FOR THE SAKE OF LIVING
framed when the British were ruling India. Most of the

T
here are thousands of such sports persons, who British officers and soldiers had not brought their
chose sports other than cricket and tennis and families with them. In order to satisfy their carnal lust,
then lived in anonymity, courtesy general apathy they would ruthlessly target young Indian girls. It was
prevailing in our country towards sports. only to provide a legal umbrella to such immoral officials
Recently, a call girl was arrested in Raipur, the that the Section 375 was introduced in IPC.
capital of Chhattisgarh. Investigation revealed that she Obviously, the social structure of that time did not
was actually a national-level volleyball player from Asam allow the girls to fight for their causes.
and had been married to a sportsman. The couple had a But now, India is independent. It is high time that all
daughter too and they were expecting to be employed such antiquated laws be dumped into the Indian ocean.
with railways in sports quota. But the railways did not In their place, new laws must be framed that guarantee
respond to their applications for years and the couple to protect fundamental rights of the girls in particular.
struggled for a living. Their tragedy did not end here.
The husband met untimely death and the wife found POWERFUL CASTE PANCHAYATS

I
herself all alone eking a humble living. Her ordeals ndia is a country of the villages, it is said. We have
perhaps would have ended had the railways, or some been living in this nostalgia since long. Overtime,
other capable employer absorbed her under sports however, villages segregated on the basis of
quota. But nobody came forward. religions and even religions divided into
Now, she has been caught red-handed castes and creeds. Whether this
working as a call girl. Of course, the law will segregation has done any good to our
take its course, she will be sermonised society is not known, but its ill-effects have
about morality and all that. But nobody will been surfacing from time to time.
look into the causes that drove her to sell Latest is the case from a village in Jind
her body for a living. district of Haryana. A youth went boldly
Our governments pretend to promote against the wishes of elders and married a
sports. After every Olympics, sports is girl Sonia of the same village. The real
made a compulsory subject in schools. problem arose only after it became known
Sports events begin to be organised amid that they both belonged to the same gotra
much fanfare. But then everything becomes and as such, were siblings.
‘normal’. Recently, even a pet dog of a Enraged caste panchayat (Khap)
noted Indian cricketer became newsmaker. banished the boy and his family from the
But there are no tears in the eyes of the village. The girl was forcibly separated and
officials for the sports woman turned call girl. confined in her parent’s home. Some days later, the boy
took another bold decision and approached the Punjab
PROBING ONE MORE COLONIAL-ERA LAW & Haryana High Court in Chandigarh and appealed for

S
ection 375 of Indian Penal Code (IPC) presumes the recovery of his bride.
that a 16-year-old girl is mature enough, both The Hon’ble High Court did assist him and asked the
physically and mentally, so as to give her consent State Government to execute the wishes of the boy.
to a man to establish physical relationship with her. Consequently, the state Government sent a police force
Hold on, this section was framed about 150 years ago with the boy to get his bride released. But the villagers
and much waters have flown since then in the Ganges not only stymied the police force but also lynched the
and Yamuna. So does such a legal permission hold boy for his ‘sin’. Had the boy eloped with the girl and
any meaning in modern context? Lucknow bench of settled in some city, everything would have become
Allahabad High Court has precisely put the same normal. But he preferred to stay in the village. He was
question before the UP Government and UPA killed to save the honour of the village. The incident also
Government at the centre. highlights how hapless our courts have become. They
Justice V D Chaturvedi has issued notices asking if issue orders but nobody honours them. Orders of
both the governments agree to raise this age limit to 18 clearing encroachment are other examples. India is
years. Both the governments have to file their replies poised to become a superpower. But our orthodox caste
by 31 August. system is pulling her downward. Certainly, we need to
Meanwhile, a healthy debate can be started about come out of this mire first, and shed our age-old caste
the relevance of several British-period laws contained reservations. write to: letters@womansera.com We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 5


STAY
TOGETHER
BUT
STAND APART
Let there be spaces in your
togetherness. And let the winds
of the heavens dance
between you. By Suman Bajpai
ou don’t love me any -

“Y
more?” She suddenly
asked her husband.
“What makes you ask
this stupid question?
Of course, I love you.”
“Then why do you
spend time in the
study instead of
spending with
me?” “Because I like reading
and while chatting with you it
is not possible to concentrate.”
“That means you don’t like my
company,” she kept on nagging
him.
“I need to spend some time on
my own, it is important for both of
us. I never interfere in your
personal spaces, do I?”
“What do you want to hide
from me? There is nothing
personal between us, we are
married.”
“Please leave me alone. Give me
some space to grow,” he shouted
back and shut himself in the study.
Do you give space to your
partner? Remember that he or she
had a life before meeting you. Give
your partner some space to live the
way he or she wants. Don’t demand When you’re married, the
total attention and companionship at boundaries between yourself and
all the times. You will never have a your spouse aren’t always clear. For
break-up if you let the other person some people, marriage brings the
live life as he or she wants. expectation of spending as much
Kahlil Gibran had said, “Let there time as possible with a spouse and
be spaces in your togetherness. And doing most things together. In this
let the winds of the heavens dance model of marriage, the two people COUPLES WHO DO
between you. And stand together, yet generally function as a single unit in
not too near together, for the pillars of thoughts and actions. Love does not
EVERYTHING TOGETHER
the temple stand apart, and the oak mean dissolving all boundaries MISS PUTTING
tree and the cypress grow not in each between each other. It means
other’s shadow.” acknowledging that there are IMPORTANT SPACES IN
Couples who do everything boundaries and being able to
together miss putting important communicate despite them.
THEIR TOGETHERNESS
spaces in their togetherness so that Setting boundaries is essential if SO THAT NEW,
new, separate growth can occur. we want to be both physically and
Without new growth and fresh input emotionally healthy. Strong bound - SEPARATE GROWTH
from each person, a relationship can aries help maintain balance, self-
stagnate and lack liveliness. It’s respect and allow us to be interde-
CAN OCCUR. WITHOUT
important for each spouse to have pendent in intimate relationships. A NEW GROWTH AND
some time alone to pursue individual lack of boundaries is like leaving the
interests or enjoy being in privacy. door to your home wide open, FRESH INPUT FROM
When you crowd your partner and anyone, including welcome and
don’t give him or her breathing room, unwelcome guests can walk in
EACH PERSON,
you run the risk of asphyxiating the without hesitation. Having rigid A RELATIONSHIP CAN
very relationship that is most boundaries leads to loneliness and
important to you. isolation and is akin to living in a STAGNATE AND LACK
fortress with no opening in sight. You
can’t get out and no one can
LIVELINESS. IT’S
SETTING BOUNDARIES penetrate your walls. This leads to IMPORTANT FOR EACH
According to Dr Deepak Raheja problems in intimacy in significant
head of psychiatry, Paras Hospitals, relationships. Unhealthy boundaries SPOUSE TO HAVE
“There is a popular misconception cause us deep emotional pain that
about romantic love and other ‘close’ can lead to dependency, depression,
SOME TIME ALONE TO
relationships that two people need to anxiety and physical illness. PURSUE INDIVIDUAL
be together all the time, share every When you do not have healthy,
single thing and do everything distinct personal boundaries, you INTERESTS OR ENJOY
together to establish intimacy. This may try to change your spouse to be
is a dangerous myth that enables more like you want him/her to be to
BEING IN PRIVACY.
people to classify relationships as meet your needs and expectations.
‘close’ or ‘distant’, leading to In so doing, you are dishonouring
complete breakdown in relationships your partner and are not respecting
in some cases. The truth is that not his/her unique individuality and right
being able to live without someone to make choices. You are also failing
and ‘merging together’ makes for to provide protected space so that
good lyrics in romantic songs but your spouse’s individual growth and
contributes little to the health of a potential can flourish.
relationship.” “Personal boundaries are limits or
Famous danseuse Geeta borders that define where you end
Chandran explains in this way, and others begin. Your personal
“Space is a very vague term, so you boundary is defined by the amount
can’t define it and above all each of physical and emotional space you
person, each couple is different and allow between yourself and your
because of this you can’t standardise partner. Personal boundaries also
it. In the relationship you can’t be help you decide what types of
claiming every inch of space or make communication, behaviour and
a layer on others identity.” interaction you accept from others.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 7


The type of boundaries you set each other’s things, without weakens the bond. You need the
defines whether you have healthy or overlapping on each others identity,” space to think, to opine and to create
unhealthy relationships,” explains Dr she further adds. and in that matter I am very lucky that
Deepak. Relationships between people I get enough of it but I don’t think it is
who love and nurture themselves first true in my husband’s case.”
yield a sense of respect and intimacy Preserving a marriage or any
GIVE SPACE that cannot easily happen when one intimate relationship for that matter, is
Geeta Chandran makes it clear person tries to ‘fix it’ for the other. “A a lot like building and maintaining a
that, “Everybody needs a profess - ‘clingy’, enmeshed relationship can warm, romantic fire. As long as you
ional space because the interests of soon choke each partner’s sense of tend it – throwing in a few logs and
two people are usually different; they individuality and drive two people stirring the flaming ashes every now
need space to accomplish their away from each other. The beauty of and then – the fire will keep you
dreams and aspirations. People of a relationship lies in two people comfy. But neglect it for too long and
two different worlds sceptically live uniting in respect for each other’s the flame will sputter out, leaving
12 hours on their own, so they uniqueness and learning to provide nothing more than a frigid fireplace
require a breathing space, otherwise one another an opportunity to grow full of burnt ashes.
it piles up the bitterness which in long separately as individuals, in addition
run creates misunderstanding and
pang of separation. I and my
to evolving as a couple,” suggests Dr
Raheja.
OPENNESS IN
husband share a Renowned fashion designer Vidhi RELATIONSHIP
common interest, Singhania feels the necessity of Counsellor Jyotsna Swaroop of
so we share space in the relationship. She says, Relationship forever.com feels, “It is
common space “In my view giving space to your important to have space in any sort of
more rather than partner is very important because relationship, be it personal or
separate space.” space and trust are two imperative professional. To beautify the bond it
She believes pillars of the married life. They are is important to spend quality time
in demo cratic like two supportive pillars which need together, but it is equally important
type of relation- to stand apart to strengthen the to give space to each other too so
ship. “Ours is kind relationship. Otherwise a situation of that both can survive with full liberty.
of democratic claustrophobia comes and gradually People in a happy relationship
relationship based always don’t cling to each other all
on friendship. We were the time; they do give space to each
friends before marriage other. Too much of togetherness can
and basis of friendship at times bring cramps in life. You
lies in the fact that don’t have to be together all the time
each one will not make to keep your relationship intact. Be
a demand. There is together yet give space to each
no ownership factor, other.”
amongst us and we All of us need time in aloofness to
take interest in understand and know ourselves
better, to do the things we enjoy. It is
only then we can be our individual
self, in love with ourselves and our
partners. Becoming a slave to love
can lead to dependency which is
another relationship killer. When you
begin to care for yourself, your
contentment may intrigue your
partner enough to draw him back.
There should be openness in your
relationship so that both can spend
time on their own without the guilt of
ignoring each other.
Focus on your own needs as well
as your spouse’s. Do something for
yourself each day. When you fulfill
your needs, you will be able to fulfil
your partner’s as well. We
nergy is the essence of life.

E
Life without energy is not
living, but just existing. That
Don’t let the “go” in you be is why it is very important for
us, that in every moment of
retarded by those who come up our life we should have
energy and enthusiasm.
with discouraging ideas. Even though most of us do
understand the need for it,
Here’s how to tackle them. we often wonder how or
where our energy disappears when
By Suniti Kharbanda we most need it. The secret of
energy disappearance is not far from
us. It might be your neighbour, your
servant, your friend or even your own
self who is acting as an Energy
Leech and sucking out your energy.
Once you are aware of the presence
of these Energy Leeches you will be
in a better position to deal with them. may be secretly envying you and so themselves good for nothings and
As they say, “Forewarned is always try to be one-up on you. Your want other people also to be in their
forearmed”. daughter may have come first in her category. They will always be morose
Examples of Energy Leeches that class and you are basking in the and unhappy and will never
you may face: glory but your colleague tells you that understand your enthusiasm. Their
in a better school she might not be proximity is enough to sap you of
● Negative people: If you think able to duplicate the feat. Or else you your energy.
back you will recollect instances get a well-deserved promotion and
when brimming with energy you your “friend” tells you that you should ● The person in the mirror:
stepped out of the house and was have got it six months ago and Strange though it may sound but
waylaid by your neighbour, Sujata. getting it now does not mean much. sometimes we ourselves are our
She gave you a total recap of your Your joi de vivre dies a fast death worst enemies. We do not have faith
neighbourhood but in a negative then because your energy has been in ourselves. An aspiration or a
manner. “Sharmaji is having an affair sucked by your “friend.” We can all dream is not worked at because we
with Anita because Anita was seen recollect occasions when we felt feel that we will fail at it. It is good to
talking to him near the cinema hall. good about our achievement but our know your own strengths and
Rekha’s children are so snooty, they friends/neighbours/family did not feel weaknesses and be realistic about it
don’t even talk to their it was good enough or knew but not pessimistic. Till you have
neighbourhood children. Neera’s dog somebody who was better. faced new situations or problems you
is so ill-trained — it keeps littering the will not realise your potential. Your
roadside. Aarushi called us for a ● Good for nothings: This inability to bake that perfect cake
meal but she’s an atrocious cook — category of Energy Leeches are doesn’t mean that you are incapable
we all had a stomachache the next and will never be able to do it. Treat
day... so on and so forth. Her your failures as “stepping stones” and
monologue continues and by the time THESE ARE THE not “stopping stones”.
you could escape from her you were ENERGY LEECHES WHO However, there are some time
no longer fresh and enthusiastic. tested ways to overcome these
Sujata’s negative thoughts had MAY BE SECRETLY human leeches but only when you
leeched out all your happy feelings. ENVYING YOU AND recognise the energy-sucking
SO ALWAYS TRY TO BE situations and want to do something
● Dream snatchers: These are about it. These are some of the good
the category of people who cannot ONE-UP ON YOU. ways.
see anybody flourishing. The moment
you tell them your dream they snatch ● Positive people: This is the
it away from you. Remember first and foremost way. In your
Gurubhai’s father in the movie Guru? acquaintances and friends, identify
A young college girl Ankita might positive people who “give” rather than
mention that she wants to become take. They give their time, energy,
an airline pilot and her cousin, the affection, advice and through their
Dream Snatcher Sarita, immediately pleasantness make you feel that the
tells her many reasons why it is not world is good and that you are
possible — you are too fat, your good. They give positive
parents will not be able to afford it, suggestions and radiate a
you are not smart enough, there is a positive energy and aura. Just
glut of pilots... So, even before look around for these people
Ankita’s dreams can take who have a pleasant word to
wing, she has been grounded. exchange with you. Meet them
It can happen to you when your often to replenish your depleted
husband gives you the drawbacks of energy.
taking up a job or the mother-in-law
tells the daughter-in-law why she can ● Smile: Even at the cost of
never be a good cook. Without sounding cliched, your “smile is your
dreams you are like a wingless best armour”. When confronted with
butterfly. the good-for-nothings or the negative
people, smile. Faced with a smile,
● The “J” people (for the these Energy Leeches feel helpless
uninitiated “J” stands for Jealous): because they realise that all their
These are the Energy Leeches who efforts have gone in vain and that
there is no point in pulling down the positive stories and anecdotes to
person further as it is not making any share with others. Appreciate and
difference. encourage others, even those whom
you feel are not so lovable. Do
● Avoid: Another good way is believe in the motto life is like an
after identifying such Energy Leeches echo, it all comes back” the good, the
— avoid them. When you see your bad, the true and the false — so give
negative neighbour “Sujata” or the the world the best you have and the
dream snatcher “Sarita” coming from best shall come back to you.
across the road to meet you, smile
and wave but tell her you are in a ● Meditate: When nothing else
hurry and cannot stop to chat now. seems to work, just step back from
your life and meditate. Meditation
● Tell firmly: Sometimes, it is here means to be alone with your
not possible to avoid these Energy own self. Think about your reasons
Leeches because they may be for feeling unhappy or let down. If the
related to you or may be your reason lies with your own self, try and
colleague at office. ● Positive campaign: However, improve. However, if the cause is
Tell them politely but firmly that my favourite way is to start a positive someone else, decide which of the
you appreciate their concern about campaign by your own self. You above strategies will work best to
your love life/cooking skills/job yourself should be positive about counter the energy sapped from you.
prospects/looks but are not willing to your own self and others. Firstly So, from today, just keep your
discuss it as you are sensitive to it. avoid being an Energy Leech eyes and ears open to identify these
Better to be firm once than suffer yourself. Develop your personality so energy sucking Leeches and after
every time you meet and the that others enjoy your company. that banish them from your presence.
sensitive topic creeps up. Have some heartwarming and Happy energy-filled life ahead! We

another room to ask my opinion about as a compliment and I was spared


the girl. I as in a dilemma as the girl from the rebuke I would have
was extremely beautiful, smart and received from others for creating
belonged to a very decent family, but such an embarrassing situation for
she did look a little old for my nephew. the guests!
I did not say anything but when my – Rupal Chhaya, Ahmedabad.
aunt voiced the same opinion, I too
nodded in agreement.
After quite a long while, during the
course of the conversation, the girl’s
Mistaken Identity uncle revealed that the lady Has something
I had been to my aunt’s place last accompanying him was his sister – the happened in your life
that has left an indelible
year. They were on the lookout for a girl’s mother! As everyone else was
impression on your mind? Some
bride for her grandson. While I was unaware of the dialogue between my
experience that gladdens your heart
there, they received a proposal and aunt and myself, they did not react, but or which makes you shudder with
the girl’s uncle informed us that he my aunt burst into laughter, her pain or embarrassment even after
would be visiting my aunt’s house advantage was that she was wearing a years! Why not share it with the
along with the girl. saree and could cover her face and hide readers of Woman’s Era? All
We found it awkward that he was her laughter, while poor me, I had no published incidents will be paid
bringing the girl along, but my aunt aide and could not help laughing. The Rs 200. Send your entries to:
said that since the girl was working poor guests were put in an THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET
and they were in town on a very short embarrassing position but I could not
visit, she probably wanted to see the help it. E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
Womansera.com
house where she was to spend her It was after a while that I could
whole life. gather my wits. “But you look so Name:
They came at the appointed time. young, we mistook you for the girl,” I Mobile:
After a while my aunt dragged me to blurted out. Fortunately the lady took it E-mail:

14 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Are You a Goddess?
To her mother-in-law Sandhya is a goddess. Why?
By Sunanda Ramachandra

M
other, please come and stay with me. I her heart full of sorrow. She had virtually lost her
have a good house and great job and son, she thought.
have servants to look after the house,” After a few days of her marriage, Sandhya came
Raghav begged. “No, my dear child,” along with Raghav to their village. She requested
said Krishnadevi. “I cannot leave your her mother-in-law to come along with them to
father’s house. That big entrance door one Cuttack, but Krishnadevi obstinately refused.
day welcomed me into this family and also Days passed, Krishnadevi wove silk saris and got
bid farewell to your father when you were only 10 them sold. But now her eyesight was dim. She was
years old. I have my fond memories, my dear. I will not able to see distinctly. But she still did not think of
not be able to move anywhere at this age.” moving to her son’s place.
Raghav pleaded but to no avail. His mother had One day, as she had just finished her weaving
brought him up with great hardship after his father and was about to wash herself, she suddenly heard
died early. His mother learnt weaving saris a bang on her door. She opened it and to
and took up the occupation. Though it was Krishnadevi her surprise, there stood a woman about to
not a flourishing business, her mother’s was speechless. fall on the ground.
hard labour made them survive in the ‘A woman’s “Aunty, please give me something to
world. He had now joined the civil services condition is eat. I am very hungry,” said the woman.
and been posted as the district magistrate always “Come in, “Krishnadevi said.” Wash
of Cuttack. pathetic,’ she your feet and hands. I will see what I can
Krishnadevi was never born in or thought. give you.” She gave her some rice she had
married into a weaver’s family, but took up Kokila was made earlier as she had not started her
the occupation to survive and bring up her very tired. She cooking. “What is your name?” she asked.
only child. She could never beg to slept as soon as “My name is Kokila,” said the stranger
anybody even if she had to survive without she had woman. My husband beat me and drove
food for days. But now when her son finished the me out of the house for another woman
wanted her to stay with him, she was food and and hence, I am moving from place to
happy...happy that she could now enjoy cleaned the place without knowing what to do.
her remaining days at her son’s place. She vessels. “Okay, Kokila, you eat your food and
was about to approve of his son’s request, take rest. Afterwards, we will go to your
when she shivered at a thought that all of a sudden husband’s place and discuss with him.”
generated in her brain... What would happen if her “That will be of no use, aunty. I could not bear a
daughter-in-law throws her out of her house, ill treats child, so no one in my husband’s family wants me.
her etc, etc? So she decided to stay back in her They made him marry a second time and threw me
village. out.”
After a few months, Raghav married Sandhya Krishnadevi was speechless. ‘A woman’s
who was once studying along with him. She was the condition is always pathetic,’ she thought. Kokila
daughter of an IAS officer. Krishnadevi was happy was very tired. She slept as soon as she had finished
when her son got married, at the same time was sad the food and cleaned the vessels. Then the day gave
at the status of her daughter-in-law. She cried with way to night and the moon shone brightly. “Kokila,

16 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


get up, have some food,” Krishnadevi called out to
her.
“Sorry, aunty, I slept.” Kokila got up and said.
working for you all the
years, first at your
father’s place and now
SHORT
STORY

Both of them had their food and as Krishnadevi at your place. Besides, the servants are not
was getting ready to clean the vessels, Kokila very cooperative.”
snatched them and sat down to clean them. “Aunty, “Don’t worry, Kokila. I am managing
do you not have any children/husband? I did not somehow. You concentrate here. Tell me,
see anybody,” enquired Kokila. are you taking good care of my mother-in-
“I have a son at Cuttack. He is married and law or not?
happily settled,” Krishnadevi answered. “Yes, didi, she is very nice. She also
Kokila did not ask anything further. Days turned takes care of me...”
to nights and nights to days. Krishnadevi grew fond Krishnadevi was taken aback. ‘Kokila
of Kokila. Kokila helped Krishnadevi in all the has been sent by Sandhya so that she can
household work. Slowly, she took care of the entire take care of me,’ she thought. How good
work in the house. She also learnt weaving and this girl is and how mean I am! she prayed.
helped Krishnadevi in weaving. She took great care “Okay, Mother, we are going. Please
of Krishnadevi when she fell ill. take care of yourself, Kokila take care. Call us if
Life went on. Then, one day, Krishnadevi heard a here is any requirement,” Raghav said as he started
knock on her door early in the morning. Kokila to go back.
opened the door. Raghav and Sandhya took her blessings and
“Who is it, Kokila? Krishnadevi asked. raced off in a car as Krishnadevi stood at the door
“Namskar, mother,” Sandhya and your son have for hours, remembering the childhood days of
come to see you, it has been long since we met,” Raghav. Both are very nice persons. Sandhya has a
said Raghav. heart of gold. I am so proud I am her mother-in-
Krishnadevi was very happy to see her son. “How law?” her inner voice choked.
are you, my son?” she cried. “Aunty, what are you weaving? It is turning out to
“I am fine, mother,” Raghav replied. be very beautiful,” enquired Kokila.
Both Raghav and Sandhya touched her feet and Yes, I want to weave the best sari of my life,” said
she blessed them. Krishnadevi. “You just see how it looks after it is
“Kokila, give them some water and make some over.”
tea,” she ordered. But what is this aunty? Why are you weaving at
They talked and talked and again Raghav asked night. Your eyes will get spoiled. Some days back
Krishnadevi to come with them. you were complaining you were not able to see
“Don’t worry son. I now have Kokila, and she is properly. “I want to weave the best sari before I die,
of great help to me,” said Krishnadevi and went into my dear,” explained Krishnadevi.
the kitchen to bring some water. As she entered, she “Mother, what is this, I told you to stop weaving,
overheard the conversation? “Didi, are you okay? but you are so adamant. You have spoiled your
How are you able to manage the work? I have been eyes. Only when Kokila telephoned, I came to
know,” said Raghav with grief. “Come on, we will
go to the doctor. “Krishnadevi obediently went
along with Raghav. She had
become half blind now and she
wanted to get back her
eyesight.
“We have to operate on
her,” said the doctor.
“But doctor, will I be
okay?” Krishnadevi
enquired.”
“Oh yes, very
much. Within one
month you can see
clearly, but you
should not strain
your eyes.”
Krishnadevi
stayed with her son and daughter-in-law. “Mother, where are you. How
They took very good care of her. Suddenly, Krishnadevi are your eyes?” Raghav shouted while
one day, Krishnadevi said, she wanted to was taken entering.” What are you doing? Again
go back to her village. aback. ‘Kokila weaving!
“But why mother? Are you not happy has been sent “No my son, I have stopped weaving. In
here?” by Sandhya so fact I have finished weaving the last sari of
“I am my son, but I have to go.” I will that she can my life.
come to you my child, but now let me go.” take care of From now onwards I will not touch the
Krishnadevi pleaded. me,’ she loom.”
Krishnadevi and Kokila were back in the thought. “How “How are you mother?” asked Sandhya
village. Krishnadevi went to her loom, paid good this girl in a tone as sweet as a nightingale’s.
her salutations and restarted the work she is and how Very good my child. I am fine, “saying
had left unfinished. this, Krishnadevi she went inside. She
mean I am!”
“Look, Kokila, how is it?” Krishnadevi brought out the sari spread it and draped it
asked happily while showing the sari she
she prayed. over Sandhya, “Look Kokila, does she not
had made. look like a goddess? Sandhya is the real
“It is really beautiful, anybody who wears it will goddess for whom I have weaved the last and best
look like a goddess. What price will you fix, aunty? piece of work of my life,” she embraced her
exclaimed Kokila. daughter-in-law.
“I want to present it to a goddess, said “Mother, you are a goddess, not me,” said
Krishnadevi. “It is priceless. Can anybody really pay Sandhya.” You have single handedly brought up
for this, I wonder.” your son. Whatever he is today is because of your
“Kokila, go, open the door. The goddess is sacrifices, your hard labour and your struggles. Will
coming,” said Krishnadevi,, one day. you come and stay with us? Mother, please. We will
‘Who? Goddess? Which goddess? Do gods be honoured,” requested Sandhya.
really come?’ thought Kokila. “Yes, my dear, “I will, said Krishnadevi. We

AN ODE TO WHAT ONCE WAS


The moon glows bright in the sky, I don’t want this night to end,
I glance towards the heavens, let the whole world sleep
hoping to see a falling star – while I lie awake and ponder on my
I want to make a wish... I want our love to last. dreams of love.

I pick petals from a blood-red rose. The gentle breeze,


“He loves me, rustles the fallen leaves around me
He loves me not...” and I slowly begin to see, to realise,
that love, like everything else,
I sit under a waning tree, has a life of it’s own.
moonlight filters through the leaves, It has a beginning,
casting some sort of ethereal light it has an end.
Upon our love letters
which rest upon my knee. – Chetna Jivan

18 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


QA &
chewing your nails. Consult a derma-
tologist who will be able to assess if
all over, and more in the affected
area and wash after 15 minutes. Also
this is temporary discolouration which check your food pattern and if the
will go away in a couple of weeks or problem continues, consult a
you need some medication. In the dermatologist.
meantime you can rub some gentle
cream or oil at night to provide lubri-
cation and moisture to the cuticles. My daughter who is 24 has been
hankering for a tattoo and when I told
her that she might not like it after a
I have recently noticed crinkles few years she decided to get a

Q&
around the outer corner of my eyes. temporary tattoo. Will it be safe?
What can I do to reduce these? A temporary tattoo is nothing more
You have not mentioned your age. than a skin transfer. It has a short life
Some fine lines in this region are like henna and would fade away. You
natural and sometimes these appear also get the variety that can be
because we tend to squint our eyes removed with oil or certain
while we work at the computer or are substances and they are a lot more
I have to step out for work in the sun out in the sun. popular. At 24 if your daughter
and sometimes I forget the sun - if you gently massage the area decides to get even a permanent
screen. Mostly, despite the with almond oil in an inward motion tattoo, you will not be able to stop
sunscreen, I feel my face looks and then wipe your eyes with cold her, so just help her identify a good
stressed. I can only do something milk you will get some relief. spot and something that is timeless
weekly. Can you suggest something and nice.
to undo the sun damage?
As you are using sunscreen, the I have just noticed a few grey strands
damage would be minimal and might in my hair and I am barely 22. I I find that my six-year-old daughter
be pollution-driven. You can make a definitely do not want to colour my is constantly in front of the mirror and
cooling mask with a piece of hair. What do I do? wants to use make-up. What can I do
cucumber put in the blender with half Yes, greying hair before old age to satisfy her without harming her
a teaspoon of honey. Leave on your is the bane of modern life and has skin?
face and neck for 15 to 20 minutes various factors right from sinus It is a fact that we live in a beauty-

A
before washing off. problems to hereditary genes. You obsessed society. She is too young
do not need to colour your hair for a to be allowed any make-up but you
few stray hair. However, if it bothers can reward her on festivals when she
When I return from my office I feel as you, try using henna with conditioner is all dressed up, with a little stick-on
though my feet are on fire. What can as that will give it a dark orange hue. bindi and maybe some lip tint. Avoid
I do to de-stress my feet? Don’t pluck these hair or cut them any heavy thing like foundation or
Well, take enough water in a tub because they are often harder than eye colour etc.
to soak your feet. It should be tepid – other hair and tend to show more if
not too hot and not chilled either. Add they are very short.
the juice of a few lemons and soak I use make-up sparingly but lately I
until the water feels the same feel that whenever I use make-up
temperature as your feet. I am 23 and have never had any skin within a day or so I get a rash around
Rub half a teaspoon of honey on problem but since I got engaged my hairline around the jaw and on the
your soles and feet and immerse three months ago my skin erupts forehead. What should I do?
them again in cooler water. Leave for regularly with pimples and zits. What It is possible that the problem is
a few minutes and wash with ordinary do I do as I am getting married in six being created not by make-up but by
water. months’ time? incorrect make-up removal. Check
It seems that your engagement the manufacturing date of your
has triggered some sort of stress in remover and of your make-up as
I am barely 17 and have the habit of your system and you need to care for well.
chewing my nails. I have now your emotions and health; skin-care Ensure that when you remove
reduced it greatly but find that my will sort itself out. Increase your water make-up no residue stays behind in
cuticles are getting black. Are the two intake. the hairline area. Use rose water on
related in any way? Make a face pack of Fuller’s earth cotton wool to give it one last wipe to
It might be related if you were with rose water and you can add a ensure that all residue has been
pulling out at the cuticles while pinch of cinnamon powder to it. Apply removed.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 19


Real or reality show
Reality television star Rakhi Sawant (L) announces her
engagement to Toronto-based Elesh Parujanwala (R), whom she
chose from 16 eligible bachelors, at the conclusion of the
series ‘Rakhi Ka Swayamvar’ at Hotel Leela Kempinski in
Mumbai on August 2, 2009. The show hosted by NDTV
Imagine enjoyed highest viewership rating.

Flower show
A girl carries a
traditional ‘silleta’
Digital camera (flower
arrangement)
A Panasonic new stylish
compact digital camera ‘Lumix during a
DMC - ZXI on display at the parade of
company’s showroom in Tokyo. Flower
The camera features the world’s Festival in
thinnest lens in the compact Medellin,
lens unit. We need to compete Antiquia
with Japan earnestly. department,
Colombia.
With so much
flowers
growing in
India, why can’t
we organise such
events?

The robot-suit
Japan’s robotics venture Cyberdyne employees
wearing the robot-suit ‘HAL’ (Hybrid Assistive
Limb) walk on a street in Tokyo for the
demonstration. The robot-suit can help assist the
disabled and the aged. When can we see such
technological advances in our own country?
In Today’s
love style
Deepika Padukone
charms customers while
autographing jersies
during a promotion for the
movie “Aaj Kal Love” at
Reliance Trend in
Mumbai on July 31, 2009.

Progress by leaps and bounds


Artists perform at the Grove in Los
Angeles on August 2, 2009 to celebrate
the 25th anniversary of the Cirque du
Miss universe finalist
Here is Japan’s finalist for the
Soleil. The Cirque du Soleil is a Miss Universe pageant, Emiri
Canadian entertainment company based Miyasaka, wearing a kimono
in Montreal. It expanded rapidly through costume at a party in Tokyo. Now,
90s and the new century, going from one she has modified her kimono
show to approximately 3,500 employees which exposed her hot-pink
from over 40 countries. India too has underwear which had triggered a
such talents. It needs only exposure. storm of protest. How does it
compare with our Miss India
pageant?

The Citroen 2 CV cars


The Citroen 2 CV cars are parked at a camp during the 18th International
meeting of Citroen car fans at the hippodrom in Most, North Bohemia, some
100 km from Prague. Mr Ratan Tata, please take note.
DAD’S THE WORD!
Here’s what’s good about dads parenting kids.
By Mita Banerjee

Sigmund Freud said, “I cannot caring, sensitive side. The 21st-


think of any need in childhood as century hetero-sexual father has a
strong as the need for a father’s whole lot more on his plate than just
protection.” bringing home the bacon and
t’s been the traditional thing, administering the occasional whacks

I
carried down from the Stone with his cane. And research proves
Age. The father goes out to that more hands-on parenting by the
work. He’s responsible for father has a positive effect on a
putting food on the table. As child’s growth.
far as his kids are concerned New studies claim that children
he is the ‘provider’ and whose fathers play a big part in their
occasionally the upbringing are likely to be more
‘disciplinarian’. Don’t we still intelligent and more successful
remember with a shiver those socially. In her book, Fatherhood
terrifying words from our mothers, Reclaimed , researcher Adrienne
“Wait till your father comes home and Burgess points that stay-at-home
sees this”? fathers bring up children who do
Moms have always been the better than those with housewife
‘nurturers’ – swabbing a snotty nose, mothers. A lack of involvement with
applying healing balm to a scraped their fathers between the ages of
knee, dishing up tempting meals, and seven and 11 can lead to
generally being around the home all delinquency in boys. Girls are more
day long. likely to suffer anorexia and bulimia.
Enter the New-Age father. Strong Both sexes are likely to drink and
and self-confident, but also with a take to drugs as adolescents.
Says psychiatrist Mina Bobdey, greater participation with the kids has
“Often, in the absence of the father – resulted in many positive changes.
VANDANA REMEMBERS
for various reasons whether work, There is more music in the house, he WITH PRIDE THAT IT
emotional absence, or separation – has upped their reading habit, and WAS HER PAPA WHO
single mothers find it very difficult to there is a marked improvement in TAUGHT HER TO SWIM,
bring up a child. It’s like a bullock their vocabulary. Besides, with his
pulling a cart with one wheel. The quirky sense of humour there is more
TO RIDE A CYCLE AND
balance of a child’s emotional and laughter in the house. I too, feel more THEN TO DRIVE A
physical life is affected, the sense of relaxed, knowing that he’s around to SCOOTER FOLLOWED
direction can be lost, resulting in help.” BY A CAR.
depression, addiction, or playing Many ‘father’ researchers are also
truant.” intrigued by the fact that dads have a
While single parent Anju Sachdev different parenting style from moms.
has brought up her daughter Sheetal Whereas mothers tend to soothe and
without any such negative results, calm down heir children, fathers like
she does admit the problems facing to excite and stimulate them.
life without a dad. “There were Roughhousing is a favourite activity,
financial and societal pressures. and dads like to encourage them to
When I took Sheetal for admission to take risks.
school, we felt alone and helpless Vandana remembers with pride
when we saw other children coming that it was her papa who taught her
in with both their parents. Later, when to swim, to ride a cycle and then to
I had to attend parent-teacher drive a scooter followed by a car. “If I
meetings, the teacher would was hesitant or nervous, he would
emphasise that ‘both’ parents had to always egg me on and dare me to do
attend. Sheetal also went into a mild it. I didn’t like it then, but I realise it’s
depression when her friends talked made me tougher,” she grins.
about their fathers. When the time “What fathers do particularly well
came for her higher education, I is promote a child’s independence
wished I had a partner with whom I and let go in a loving way,” says
could discuss what was best for her. I Sangita a kindergarten teacher,
also felt the lack of a father when I adding, “Have you noticed the
was looking for a matrimonial match difference in the way parents hold
for her. Most families would look their babies? While mothers tend to
askance at my divorcee status – a hold them protectively in the crook of
‘maybe-her-character-is-bad’ sort of their arms, with the head on their
look.” shoulders, I’ve noticed many fathers
who hold their babies outwards in
front of them. It’s like letting them
DAD’S PARENTING STYLE savour and see more of the world.”
Counsellor Niloufer Ebrahim fully Psychologist Gouri Dange points
sympathises with this state of affairs, out the difference in father-son and
saying, “Having another adult’s input father-daughter relationships. She
is always very helpful. One person observes, “Even at a very young age,
can go wrong. Having another adult a boy needs the involvement of his
around also means more healthy dad, who brings his distinct male
inputs. Besides, each parent has a form of love, caring, humour, image, and determining how she will
different equation with the child, and discipline, activity and guidance to relate to men in the future.”
each can provide different the relationship. Fathers are also Adds Dr Bobdey, “The role of
stimulation, drive and set of values.” better at tackling matters such as mother and father differs with the sex
HR consultant Neelima Mukherjee personal hygiene and sex education, of the child. Girls look for emotional
fully agrees, saying, “In the initial discipline, attitudes, and other key support and love, while boys look for
years of our marriage, my husband areas with adolescent sons.” approval from their father.”
Amitabh was too busy with his career Where daughters are concerned, Actually, it’s good news all around.
to give much time to the kids. I took she explains, “A dependable, Shared parenting means that the
on the role of both mom and dad. But consistent, loving and frank children have two caring parents,
now, Amitabh carries on a private interaction with her father goes a very who can both take charge and bring
consultancy from home, and his long way in building a girl’s self- added value to the relationship. We

24 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


THE BOON OF
PRE-MARRIAGE
COUNSELLING
Begin the journey with proper preparation.
By Suman Bajpai
n the rush, the excitement, not to easily been avoided, if only the young Gillani, counsellor, Relationship

I
mention the incredible adults had undergone premarital Forever.Com, “In today’s world young
organisational pressure of counselling before getting into adults are busy achieving their goals
organising a wedding, many matrimony. Parents may, at times, be and aspirations. And in the process
people don’t care to think about unaware of certain conflicts and they strive to do well and prove
something as unexciting and as concerns that their children have with themselves every minute of the day.
sober as pre-marriage regard to marriage. This is where A couple very much in love does not
counselling. Like Western premarital counselling helps bridge get to check whether they are really
countries, the divorce rate in our the gap. People are taught problem - made for each other. A busy and
country is steadily on the rise. solving skills and the art of healthy stressful life and socialising at the
Studies show that the cause is communication. weekends do not give them enough
either a physical incompatibility or time to actually look at or discuss the
emotional absurdity between the Rectify the conflicts: Most real issues which matter after
partners. Psychological disturbances couples just don’t realise that good, marriage. So divorce rates are
due to ‘maladjustment’ in couples skill-based pre-marriage counselling becoming higher. If premarital
leading to suicide, homicide, marital can reduce the risk of divorce by up counselling is considered by the
breakdown, alcoholism, drug abuse to 30 per cent and lead to a couple or parents then problems after
etc, are increasing at an alarming significantly happier marriage, marriage and divorce can be avoided
rate. Cases of depression, stress, according to research. It can also easily.”
nervous anxiety and psychosomatic reduce the stress of the pre-wedding Although this concept is still not
disorders are on the rise, particularly period. Many couples realise after very acceptable in India as couples
in married couples. marriage that they have jumped into don’t understand the need, there is
It has been observed by married life with no proper always the pressure of adults to
sociologists that 90 per cent cases of preparation. compromise whatever the situation
the trauma of divorce could have According to Dr Pallavi Barthakur comes their way. But with this

26 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


counselling one can rectify the were not ready to make some compatible you are, but how you deal
challenges and conflicts that he or adjustments here and there to make with incompatibility.
she will inevitably face at some point the other person happy, but their Premarital counselling tackles
in their marriage. Later, under stress, basic understanding of the nature of concerns relating to the impending
negative habits and relationship the other person was flawed, they did marriage, clears up misconceptions
patterns may become established not know where exactly to make the about sex and talks about issues like
and be much harder to resolve. adjustments and how to make the interpersonal relationships and family
other person happy. When the planning. “In our sessions we discuss
Keep unrealistic expectations at marriage is not starting with loads of the crucial issues like sex and
bay: Sex education is still not unrealistic expectations its chance of sexuality, family planning, use of
advocated in schools or colleges in success is really high. contraceptives, religious practices
our country. Therefore, it is important People getting into marriages do and customs, beliefs, habits, financial
that those entering into matrimony be not look at it realistically. When they and social values, likes, dislikes, food
adequately informed about human realise that there are compromises habits, lifestyles, role of in-laws,
sexuality. A marriage counsellor can and responsibilities involved, some- duties, responsibilities, etc.
help the couple to understand each times even simple issues get blown
other better: various aspects of out of proportion leading to ego
character and traits of the other hassles and tensions.
person which one may miss when Premarital counselling exposes
one is in love but understanding of unrealistic ideas about romance and
which is imperative. This level of demystifies several false notions. It's
deep under standing is required for not a mantra to ward off problems but
the success of the marriage. be better equipped to face the
Many of the post-marriage challenges of life maturely and
maladjustments are the result of logically together.
mistakes of reading the other person Dr Rajan Bhonsle, MD, founder-
wrong. Often it is seen two perfectly director, Heart to Heart Counselling
normal and sincere persons cannot Centre, Mumbai, who is the pioneer
continue in a marriage. Not that they in premarital counselling, explains, “It
is like a preventive measure as the
divorce rate is increasing day by day.
As divorce rates are going up it
means there is something wrong
happening in relationships. We check
up both the physical and emotional
compatibility of the man and woman.
There are so many issues and things
which they don’t even know about
each other.”

Helps in discussing crucial


issues: Women are rebelling against
automatic role allocation and less
willing to accept injustice or second-
class treatment within a family. Thus,
there is need for proper guidance to
both partners to make them
understand role-sharing in married life.
The typical complex marriage –
managing two careers while rearing
children – really requires that couples
have very strong, well-established
abilities to communicate, resolve
issues, maintain mutuality and set
goals. It is important to come to terms
with unrealistically positive
expectations. What counts in making
a happy marriage is not so much how

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 27


prior to marriage in order to ensure
clear and effective communication
between the two partners. It enables
a clear two-way communication
between the partners, reducing the
scope of misunderstandings, after
marriage.” Pre-marriage counselling
is a must for all couples, as it is a
very practical and realistic way of
avoiding major conflicts. “It allows the
partners to know each other’s
expectations, and decisions. It
prepares the two partners to adjust
with each other’s families and
lifestyles, after marriage. It is very
helpful in decreasing the chances of
separation and divorce. It opens the
door of reality, throwing them out of
their fantasies, making their
relationship practical and wise,”
believes Dr Megha.

Plan ahead: Another hot-button


issue many couples forget to discuss
before that long walk down the aisle
There are almost 100 questions becomes transparent to them. They is finances. Some conflict may be
we ask depending on their can then easily figure out their inevitable if one of you likes to spend
background and education from incompatibility and take decisions while the other prefers to save, but
them. Sometimes, it is very difficult accordingly. During counselling, marriage for two spenders or two
for them to ask even a simple blood group matching is also savers can have its unique
question. In this way everything conducted to diagnose physical challenges as well. Together, try to
incompatibility. It is extremely develop a budget that both of you
important as the couple should know can live with, and don’t be afraid to
about each other’s reproductive look at the long term. Whatever
“IT ALLOWS THE ability, diseases that can be sexually financial problems your partner has
transmitted, and history of any will become yours too once you’re
PARTNERS TO psychiatric disorder. We also wed. So make sure you’re aware of
KNOW EACH encourage them to clarify any doubts them and okay with taking on his or
they have at these sessions. We her financial issues.
OTHER’S never try to give them any verdict,” Premarital counselling is like a
EXPECTATIONS, says Dr Rajan. road map before travelling anywhere.
Pre-marriage counselling is not It is better to plan ahead to enjoy the
AND DECISIONS. merely preparing or advising people trip fully. In the same way, it is better
IT PREPARES THE regarding sexual life, but it is the to resolve all the sensitive issues
process of mental preparation to before marriage to maintain a lasting
TWO PARTNERS accept, love and respect the one you and happy relationship. A counsellor
TO ADJUST WITH will be joining hands with. Pre- can help the couple develop positive
marriage preparation is based on the attitude and communication skills.
EACH OTHER’S reality that it’s important to Pre-marriage counselling is a very
FAMILIES AND strengthen relationships and prepare progressive way of looking at your
constructively for future challenges marital relationship.
LIFESTYLES, and conflicts that everyone will It does not mean that the couple, if
AFTER inevitably face at some point or other found incompatible, will drop the idea
in their married life. of marrying each other. It is just that
MARRIAGE.” According to Dr Megha Gore, they can work on their weaker areas
clinical psychologist, Max Healthcare, and flaws with healthy
“Premarital counselling is when one communication, giving each other
undergoes a counselling session, respect and space. We

28 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


ROMANCE
OF THE
Paintings of
Rajasthan
school on the basis of its paper book
illustrations, in the 13th century and
makes both ‘devotion’ and ‘art’ move
together in the contiguous areas of
Gujarat and Rajasthan.
Being the counterpart of
Hindustani literature, it starts as the
medium of illustrating the works of
the Jain scholars and helps in the
production of certain works, which
now are the gems of both literature
and fine arts. The other types of
Rajasthani paintings produced in the
Mughal times were those of the mid-
16th century. It is a strange
An awesome look at the coincidence that even in those days
of conflict with the Mughal power, the
vibrantly colourful traditions of area of Mewar (the former princely
State of Udaipur) could produce such
Rajasthani arts. By Kusum Mehta works of art having a marked
influence of Mughal art on it.
n the history of Indian pictorial art Just like the face depictions in the

I
which has an unbroken record of Mughal paintings, the faces in the
2,000 years, the Rajasthani art of Rajasthani miniatures are depicted
painting presents a very brilliant with one eye (ek chasmi) only. There
record of intense activity. This are very few front face depictions in
school of painting makes its it. Even when these are there, these
appearance first of all in the 10th are neither fine in expressions nor too
century on a palm leaf many in number. The artist has failed
manuscript and later on walls miserably in this attempt to depict the
hand in hand with the Gujarati front face as a beautiful one.

30 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


LAND OF NATURE have played upon the themes of the
classical and folk literature, which
enunciated in classical literature by
the poets of the day. The poets
Nevertheless, in all the drawings, abound in such themes, certain whose creations have been made on
a profound knowledge of gesture and themes are related to Rajasthan itself the basis of the paintings by the
drapery is evident. It appears that because of the long distances, which artists are Keshava Bihari, Jaidev,
some set formulae were employed by the husbands of ladies had to cover Manijhan, Surdas, Tulsidas, Chand
artists for dealing with physical on foot or on camels and which Berdai, etc.
features of the figures, their hands, naturally made their separation from The literary works and poetical
drapery, background effects like their beloved so long, sometimes for compositions, which have been freely
water and sky. even a year. used by the artists as the basis for
In the architectural depictions, their creations include Dhola Maru,
aerial perspective has been rendered
in combination with vertical
VIYOG AND SAMYOG Gita Govind, Rasik Priya, Ramayana,
Mahabharat, Bihari Satsai, Nayika
projections but the representation of SRINGAR Bhel, Ragmala, Kamshastra,
lines has converged to a vanishing Such occasions made the beloved Ritumasa, Panchtantra, Prithviraj
point. It is interesting to note that this long for their lovers and they Raso, etc.
deficiency does not adversely affect composed songs of separation to Of the palettes of the Rajasthani
the expressive value of the art. keep the memory of their lovers alive. artist a reference has to be made to
The Rajasthani paintings reflect in Such feelings of separation and the paper, which was country-made
them details of Rajasthani physical meeting have been technically called and of the following types –
features, social dress, manners and Viyog Sringar and Samyog Sringar. Sangaveri, Madhopuri, Ghosundi,
customs. These have not been In most of the paintings of Rajasthan Kashmiri, Jehangiri and Banasi. The
studied so far on the basis of such depictions have been beautifully chief colours used in paintings of
paintings. As far as the background made by the artists. Rajasthan are khadia, harbhata
of Rajasthani paintings and their Not only have all the nine feelings sajeda, siyahi, hirmich, hilkari and
decorative borders are concerned, ( rasas ) of Hindi literature – rangoli and were obtainable from
the paintings present a good tranquillity, pathos, romance, Magrup, Jaipur, Kaurauli, Kota, Bundi
geographical study in themselves. laughter, chivalry, anger, awe, and Jodhpur, respectively, with the
Their study sets at naught the strangeness and ugliness – been above materials and subjects
common belief of an average visitor depicted in the body of the themes Rajasthani paintings succeeded in
to Rajasthan that it is a desert land. of the paintings but also the beauties producing such an impressive visual
The depiction of rivers, tank pools, in the face of nature during the appeal that in most of the cases the
hills, hilltops, rocky land flora and, various hours of the day, which has creations of the artists immortalised
fauna of the region in the form of been divided into early dawn, the land and also the time when
flowers and leaves of various kinds, morning, midday, twilight and the these were produced.
trees, peacocks, cuckoos, pigeons, various hours of the right, all very Under the four major clans of the
elephants, camels, etc, makes one beautifully depicted. Rajputs developed the four major
feel that Rajasthan is a happy land The heroines have also been schools of paintings, which have later
of nature. depicted in various forms, as are given birth to four way on sub-
The scenes depicted in the schools and styles: 1. Mewar school
background of the paintings contain (under the Sisodias), 2. Marwar
the lotus, mango, peepul, banyan, school (under the Rathors) – (a)
mango, kadamb, etc., besides cloudy Jodhpur School (b) Bikaner school,
sky, raindrops, waterfalls, even lakes, (c) Kishangarh school and (d) Ajmer
rows of swans, lovely boughs of school – 3. Dhundhar school (under
creepers, deerskin, etc. There are the Kachawahs), Jaipur school, and
palatial buildings with different types 4. Hadoti school (under the Hadas) –
of entrances, arches and ornamental (a) Bundi school and (b) Kota school,
doors and windows and articles of the Jain, Mughal and Gujarati styles
luxury used by the rulers of these were also adopted in many ways.
States. The paintings also depict the
six ragas and 30 raginis, six seasons Mewar school: Mewar was in the
and 12 Hindi calendar months of the forefront in all fields of creative
year. endeavours – art, architecture, music
As far as the depiction of romantic and devotional literature under such
scenes go, the paintings give a illustrious rulers as Maharana
glimpse of the romantic life also. This Kumbha, Sanga and Pratap,
is because of the fact that the artists Illustrated manuscripts produced at

32 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Chittor, Delwara, Alhar and Chavand typical Marwar painting of bold lines More than a dozen painters worked
from the 13th century onwards and blaring colours, well-knit in the Surat Khana to produce
provide a continuous history of the compositions – showing well-built hundreds of miniatures to illustrate
Mewar School. heroic males with prominent whiskers the Bhagwat Purana, Devi
A Ragamala set painted at and huge pagris and colourfully attired Mahatmya, Ramayana, Ragamala
Chavand in 1605 by Nisardi is a dainty damsels – did not manifest and portraits and other works.
landmark of this school followed by itself before the 17th century.
masterpieces. A fine collection is on Jodhpur produced many Hadoti school: The Hada Rajput
view in the City Palace Museum, miniatures and manuscripts in the rulers of Bundi and their collateral
Udaipur. Portraits, sets of Ragmala 18th and 19th centuries, some of branch of Kota were enlightened
paintings, divinities and scenes of which are in view in the Museum and patrons of art, some of the finest and
folk legends were also produced in Ummaid Bhawan Palace at Jodhpur. most fascinating miniatures of
large numbers. Other sub-schools of Bikaner, on the other hand, Rajasthan were produced in these
Mewar are Devgarh, Sawar, Sirohi, followed a different course as the two cities and in other subsidiary
Shahpura, Pratapgarh, Banswara rulers recruited skilful and courts in the region.
and Dungarpur each showing its own experienced painters from the Mughal A typical Bundi-Kota miniature has
regional characteristics in a subtle court for creating highly finished graceful women with round faces,
but recognisable manner. miniatures in a Mughal-inspired style. small painted nose, large lotus petal
These painters, known as ustads , eyes, receding chin and well-formed
Marwar school: The most created some of the finest body. The figures are often placed in
important centres of Marwar are representations of Rasikpriya, the background of plants and
Jodhpur and Bikaner (both ruled by Ragamala, Baramasa, Krishnalila evergreen forests, and a dusk or
the Rathors) and Jaisalmer and portraits and court paintings to early morning sky of many shades of
commissioned many manuscripts of be found in Rajasthan. grey, blue orange and red.
their creed illustrated with pictures in The hunting pictures of Kota are
the early Jain miniature style, the Kishangarh school: Kishangarh remarkable creations combining both
occupies a position for the highly realism and symbolism.
THE ELONGATED NECK, individualistic, sophisticated works of These paintings are admired
a master artist, Nihal Chand, working everywhere and are found in many
THE LONG STYLISED for his royal patron, Sawasit Singh, museums of India and abroad. With
EYES WITH DROOPING who was a poet, a connoisseur of the growing prosperity of the rulers
EYELIDS, RADHA painting and a great devotee of and appreciation of the painters
STANDING IN A Radha and Krishna, his works are by many ruling princes decorated their
any standard great works of art. chambers with paintings. The
GRACEFUL POSE WITH The elongated neck, the long subjects ranged from religious
HER HEAD COVERED stylised eyes with drooping eyelids, themes to scenes of lovemaking.
WITH A MUSLIN the thin lips and painted chin of his
Radha standing in a graceful pose Phads and pichwais: The
ODHANI IS EASILY THE with her head covered with a muslin ancient tradition of scroll painting
MOST STRIKING. odhani is easily the most striking survives in Rajasthan as phad. A
creation of the Dhundhar school typical phad is a rectangular coarse
(Ajmer-Jaipur). The earliest traces of cloth with paintings illustrating the life
painting in the Ajmer-Jaipur region and heroic exploits of Pabuji, a
(also known as Dhundhari) are to be popular folk hero. Painted by the
found on the walls of the Mughal Joshis of Shahpura (Bhilwara
gateway at Bairat, the Chhatri of district), in bold vigorous lines and
Banganga and in the palaces and bright primary colours, these phads
mausoleums of Ajmer, dating back display much of the ancient Indian
the early 17th century. tradition of narrative painting.
The style of these paintings is folk, The pichwais, on the other hand,
though the male figures in Mughal are refined works of art created for
costumes and headdresses. Some using as backdrops in the Shrinathji
Jain manuscripts written at at Nathdwara and in other Krishna
Mauzambad and Ajmer during this temples. They contain the figures of
period also deserve mention. Shrinathji, attired in a variety of
The zenith of this school was costumes of different seasons and
reached under Sawai Pratap Singh festivals or engaged in different
towards the close of the 18th century. activities. We

34 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Go right ahead
and use the right
make-up during
the monsoon
to make your style
statement.
By Suman Bajpai

MONSOON MAKE-UP
LIGHT AND SHEER
he monsoons have a washed out and soiled in the rainy to using lipstick, rouge, eyebrow

T
magical charm attached to season, so go for light and sheer pencil and powder. Use lipstick of a
them. The very thought of make-up. Don’t use a concealer deep, vibrant shade and apply a
the monsoons delights our during the monsoon and instead use dash, a lip gloss, to put a glow on
hearts, but it is equally the foundation. Wear a waterproof your lips. Use rouge sparingly.
important to care for your make-up such as waterproof Heavy eye make-up should be
skin and look your best mascara and eyeliner, use smoky avoided. If still you want to go with
during the monsoon. In bluish or greyish eye shadows and one, then opt for waterproof mascara
summer you could put on a pale mauve or baby-pink lipsticks. and eyeliner. You will not experience
shimmery look and fresh, Don’t give yourself much of a glossy any smudging throughout the day.
light colours to flatter yourself look. Use mat colours for your make- Choose the right shades of
because it was bright sunny days and up, specially lipsticks. Use transfer- eyeshadow and blush. Although
these give a fresh the calm look to resistant lipsticks, waterproof some eyeshadow shades will be
your personality, but in the monsoon cosmetics products like waterproof lip good to wear during monsoon
season, the dark and cloudy sky liners, waterproof eyeliners, and season, others will not. The best
sometimes gives a slightly sad touch. waterproof foundation for monsoon thing that you can do is choose
So you should wear the colours to make-up. lighter or neutral shades so that they
freshen your mood swings. During this season you should will blend in with your natural skin
Use fresh, dark, flowery and bright avoid using foundation and face colour if they should happen to streak
colours like grey, dark navy blue, sky cream when going out because rain at all. Tinted pastel eye shadows can
blue, sea blue, sea green, violet, pale will wash it off, leaving stained lines brighten up your face and still give
camel or cream, pale olive, mauve, on the face. If required, always go for you no make-up look. Light bronzers
dark olive, and peach, lavender, etc. a water-resistant foundation which with a slight sheen work brilliantly for
Thick make-up can be easily can survive the rain. Confine yourself a natural look.

36 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Instead of the regular eyebrow and lipsticks a pink shade, soft brown
pencil, go for a creamy filler. For shade with sheer gloss. Do not forget
cheeks, a natural shade in tones of to use moisturisers that are also
pinks for fair people and oranges for waterproof for keeping away the
a dusky complexion is greasy skin, loss of water because of
recommended. Light creamy textured sweating and acne during the
ones are the best. It keeps the look monsoon.
natural and fresh. The blush also If your face has a natural tendency
remains protected from streaking. Go towards dryness, it will be more
for lots of shimmer and shine at night. obvious during this season. Take the
It’s all about gold glamour this yolk of an egg and mix it with a
season. Use lots of golds. Gold teaspoon of cream of milk and a few
shimmer can accentuate your cheeks drops of rose water. Apply on the
beautifully. Don’t overdo body glitter. face and neck, leave on for 15
Use bolder colours for an evening minutes and then wash off.
party with lots of sheer and gloss.
Smoky eyes look great at night.
HAIR CARE
QUICK TIPS FOR Hair becomes
unmanageable during monsoons.
most

MONSOON MAKE-UP Excessive humidity, excessive


First of all, wash your face with a sweating and getting wet in the rain
face wash and use cleansers to clean spells doom for the hair, making it
the face. After this, rub an ice cube frizzy, dull and limp. Common hair
for about 10 to 15 minutes on face problems in the monsoon are hair
for below the level of sweating. It is stickiness and dandruff. Opt for a
also beneficial for keeping make-up short haircut or wear a style that falls
fresh longest. just below your shoulders. Avoid
Do not use foundation and only back-combing and lacquer, intricate
use a little powder before starting buns and waves because the
make-up for the monsoon. Use a pink humidity in air will make your hair
cream as eyeshadow with a thick limp and unkempt within no time.
layer of eyeliner and after this use Either make a single plait or a plain
waterproof mascara for eye make-up. bun. Avoid styling products for hair.
Matte lipsticks are the best option Wash your hair regularly with a mild
during monsoons for lip make-up. shampoo.
One can use light shades for lipliners

MONSOON FASHION
The wardrobe during the
monsoons is restricted to the two Cs
– namely colour and comfort. Put
away your entire crisp, cool cottons no-no for this season.
and silks because they not only soak Buy a bright raincoat and a
up water avidly but become limp matching umbrella to go with it.
when they dry and lose their crease Rubber mules and slippers in bright
and shape completely. Synthetics are shades look great this season.
ideal for this season because they Leather bags are out this season.
are crease-resistant, dry fast and Opt for transparent plastic gigantic
regain their original shape when dry. bags in bold colours.
Do not wear denims but opt for Capri Choose jewellery that is bright yet
pants or light cotton fabrics. Avoid lightweight to complement your
white and light-coloured clothes as make-up. Raincoats and umbrellas
they can get muddy during a are available in the market in different
downpour. Wear vivid, vibrant colours designs, shapes and in sizes with
– glowing turquoise, rich green, deep different colours. Go right ahead and
orange – to beat the grey rainy days. use them to make your own style
Over-embellished clothes are a strict statement. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 37


Where Have
all the Girls Gone?Marriages may be made in some
kind of heaven, but they get contracted on earth.
By Kasturi Rangachari

D
uring the last year I have gone through an fathers sleepless nights over their strings of
eye-opener of an experience that has taught girlfriends as they stumble their way through college
me more about human nature than any other (where they believe that it’s all play and no work
I have gone through. It has left me more that will take them places) suddenly pull themselves
tolerant and understanding and together, get great jobs abroad, but later come to
considerably wiser than I was before. What their mothers and confess in a rather abashed
was this experience? It was trying---and manner that, after six years in America all by their
succeeding!---to find brides for two nephews and the lonesome without anyone to question them on how
son of a friend of mine. they spent their money or the hours they kept, they
For reasons too complicated to explain, this task hadn’t found anyone. And that now mum and dad
had devolved on me and though I had absolutely no should do their parental duties and find them wives!
idea of how to proceed about it, I undertook it, My three boys fell into the latter category.
learnt as I went and completed it “How will you set about things?” asked
successfully. It was a bumpy ride, but one I All of them a friend.
quite enjoyed! were smart, “Goodness, how difficult can it be?” I
I undertook the task very lightly. After their replied flippantly. “I’ll just spread the word
all, all three young men (for the rest of this qualifications around to friends and family that these
narrative I shall, in the time-honoured were excellent three are available and they will be
Indian manner, call them “boys”, and the and they had snapped up!”
young women I was trying to hook them up fantastic jobs. I made calls, spoke to everyone I knew
with, “girls”) were fine specimens of It would be a and then, a week or two later, called again
youthful manhood. All of them were smart, piece of cake to to remind them. But not a lead did I get.
their qualifications were excellent and they get them “I spoke to Vinodini’s mother but the girl
had fantastic jobs. So I couldn’t imagine is already married” said a friend.
married, I
any girls or their parents not realising this “I realised that I don’t know anyone
thought! But
and falling over themselves to snare the with an unmarried daughter of
boys. It would be a piece of cake to get boy, was marriageable age,” said another.
them married, I thought! But boy, was I I wrong! “Girls? Sorry! But if you are on the
wrong! lookout for boys….”
But first, why did I or anyone else have to find Soon, I had to face that fact that no one I knew
partners for these smart young boys? Why hadn’t could put me onto any suitable girl of marriageable
they found them for themselves? Well, this finding-a- age. I then asked myself the question I was to voice
partner business never fails to amaze me. The most and hear voiced again and again over the next two
timid, shrinking-violet type of boy, who from years. “I wonder…where have all the girls gone?
childhood has had the greatest difficulty greeting Where have all the girls gone?”
adults and making friends – and forget talking to, or I pulled myself together at this first setback. Okay,
even looking at girls – goes out of town for a day for so my circle of friends and relatives was too small to
the first time in his life after he begins to work and help me perhaps, but there were always matrimonial
comes back in love and having proposed! ads, right? I knew that these ads appeared mainly
And the bold ones who give their mothers and on Sundays and so I dug out old issues of Sunday

38 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


papers and began to scan the matrimonial columns
for tips on how to word the ads I planned to insert.
This kind of reading was something I had never
“I’m sure that many
people think as I do and
don’t believe in region,
SHORT
STORY

done before and was I shocked! Horror of horrors, caste and nonsense like that,” I told her.
ads were given not just state-wise but also caste- “Can’t you just create a new section?”
wise! Gothrams and stars were mentioned! No, she could not! Finally she agreed to
place the ads in boxes at the beginning of

S
urely, blatantly proclaiming the caste of a the Matrimonial ads columns. “Of course,
person was wrong, perhaps even illegal? I boxes are more expensive,” she said
mean we were trying to abolish caste, weren’t smugly.
we? And gothram and stars meant horoscopes. “I guessed as much,” I replied.
Heavens, did people still believe in those? “And why don’t you put the boxes in
“What world do you live in?” asked a friend bold print? Or with a tick? That will make
bluntly. “Don’t you know that while many people them more noticeable.”
don’t believe in all this stars and horoscope “Bold print and ticks are more expensive
business, many others do? Especially when it comes I expect?”
to something as important as marriage?” She nodded. I thought for a moment. The ads
“No, I didn’t…and people shouldn’t….not in the were already above budget. “No, I’ll just have the
21st century!” I replied indignantly. boxes,” I decided.
“Look, many believe that people of the same “How many Sundays should the ads run?” was
gothram are descended from the same guru or the next question.
acharya. So they think that intermarrying within a “How many Sundays?” I hadn’t expected this.
gothram is wrong.” “Yes. You can have three Sundays for the price of
“But people marry their cousins in many two, you know.”
communities and even their maternal uncles! So how
does a distant common ancestor matter?”
My friend threw up her hands. “I’m not going to
argue with you!” she said tartly. “I’m only telling you
how things are.”
But I decided that, as a matter of principle, I
would not mention caste, gothram or star in my
matrimonial ads. Surely, there would be broad-
minded parents of girls who would appreciate that
and respond? And those who did were likely to be
our kind of people!
I went to the classified ads office of a national
daily and handed over my ads to the girl behind the
desk. I had worked hard on them. It had taken many
rewrites, but I had finally got the language right and
whittled down the number of words to keep the cost
of the ads low. I mean, I had three to insert!
“No castes, no gothrams, no stars?” asked the
girl after studying the ads. “And where are these
boys from?”
“I’m not going to mention any of that,” I replied.
She stared at me. “But you must at least give the
state,” she explained, talking slowly and clearly as if
explaining things to a person with a very low IQ.
“Without that, which section will the ads go in? I
mean we have Tamil Brahmins, Telugu Brahmins,
Tamil Chettiyars, Telugu…..These boys are
Tamilians, aren’t they? ”
“Yes, but I don’t want to mention that. Don’t you
have any general section?”
“We do. But those are mainly used by divorced
people and widows and widowers….”
I thought matters over. My boys would be the ads, ticking off those that I would respond to.
snapped up the very first Sunday. “Just one insertion The architect with an interest in literature would be
please,” I said. perfect for Dhruv, the fun-loving girl who loved
Come the next Monday, I sat by the phone movies would suit Arhat and the college lecturer who
eagerly and waited for it to ring. The comp was was doing her PhD fit the bill for Sanket perfectly. I
hooked onto the Net so that I could read the emails I ticked on and soon had a dozen girls on my list! I
expected as soon as they arrived. But the phone picked up the phone and dialled the first number.
didn’t ring and no mails appeared. On Tuesday, I “Hello,” I began as soon as the phone was picked
waited for courier letters. None arrived. Did that up. “I’m calling about the matrimonial ad that
mean that absolutely no one was interested in my appeared in the newspaper this Sunday. My…..”
three gems? No unmarried girls or their parents “Sorry! My daughter’s wedding was fixed the
were interested in smart, young, modern-thinking day before yesterday. Just hours after the ad
men who had wonderful qualifications and dream appeared!” And sounding very smug, the woman at
jobs? Had everyone gone bonkers? Where had all the other end of the line put down the phone!
the girls gone? Where had all the girls gone? So girls got snapped up within hours! I dialled the
“You should at least have mentioned the state,” next number. The man who picked up the phone
said an old aunt. was monosyllabic as I explained why I was
“We are all Indians. Which state we If the girl is a calling.
belong to doesn’t matter!” I retorted. vegetarian, she “How are you related to the boy?” he
“It does,” she replied firmly. “The wants to be asked.
people who read your ad wouldn’t have sure that the “I’m his mother’s sister.”
known what language their daughters “I see. And when did your sister die?”
boy is one too.
would be expected to speak after “D...die? She isn’t dead…..!”
Both of them
marriage.” “Then why have you phoned? My ad
will be more
I paused. That hadn’t occurred to me. states quite clearly that my daughter’s star
“Well, all educated people speak Hindi comfortable is Ahilyam.”
and English these days,” I mumbled. with the same “I read that and I’m sure that Ahilyam is
“But people also have mother tongues cultural a very nice star….”
that they love and want their children to background “An Ahilyam daughter-in-law is
know,” she pointed out. “And a state, etc. and lifestyle. supposed to be bad for her mother-in-law!
also has cultural connotations. These things Don’t you The star is supposed to either kill the older
don’t matter in a love marriage. Love understand?” woman or make her suffer.”
conquers all and all that! But in an “I don’t believe that. I mean how can a
arranged marriage people want to be comfortable. star do all that?”
If the girl is a vegetarian, she wants to be sure that “Ah, but will you believe it and blame my
the boy is one too. Both of them will be more daughter if your sister dies soon after the wedding?”
comfortable with the same cultural background and And the man banged the phone down.
lifestyle. Don’t you understand?” The third parent said that her daughter would
never agree to leave Bangalore and go to Mumbai

T
hat made sense and I felt a fool for having where my friend’s son, Sanket, was posted.
ignored such obvious concerns. I myself was a “But you agreed that the boy’s qualifications are
vegetarian and was conservative enough to excellent. Surely your daughter can relocate and
hope that the girls these three boys married would find a job in Mumbai?” I asked.
be vegetarians too-----at least at home. “She won’t agree to that,” the mother sighed.
“Have you begun to reply to ads yourself?” my “Now if the boy agrees to relocate and come to
aunt asked. Bangalore, we can proceed to the next stage….”
I gulped. “Not yet….I thought….” “He won’t agree either!” It was my turn to sigh
“You thought that you would be overwhelmed by now and we both disconnected.
replies to your ads and wouldn’t need to?” she I went on down the list but nothing showed any
cackled. “Don’t presume that you’ll be that lucky!” signs of working out. One girl wanted someone taller
I went home and dug out the Sunday newspaper than my nephew’s 5’ 9”. Three others wouldn’t even
in which my ads had appeared and went through consider moving to Mumbai from the cities where
the “bridegrooms wanted” ads. As I read, my spirits they were and one girl’s star was Ketai which was
rose. There were plenty of suitable girls available! bad for the bridegroom’s elder brother. My nephew
The three marriages would be settled in no time! Arhat had an elder brother and, while I was ready to
I took a pen and got down to serious reading of ignore the “danger”, the girl’s family was not.

40 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Another mother was so shocked when I said that I “And having love marriages…”
was not interested in matching horoscopes that she “Or deciding not to marry…”
was rendered speechless and she just put down the Then someone suggested registering in a
phone. The other parents I spoke to did not impress marriage bureau and I went on a hunt for a good
me at all and I decided not to proceed with the one. Finally, I was told about one which appeared
matches. to be suitable and I set off to find it and register my
three “boys”. At the agency I was given forms to fill

T
he weeks passed and I dutifully studied the up for each boy. And each form began with details
matrimonials every Sunday, drew up lists of of caste, community, horoscope, star and gothram!
suitable girls and made phone calls. But I got “I don’t believe in all these,” I tried to explain to
absolutely no glimmer of hope. Girls seemed to be the fat man in charge who sat fanning himself,
in such short supply that they were snapped up dressed in just a veshti and a sacred thread.
within hours – or sometimes even minutes – of the He smiled. “Oh? So you’re one of those modern
papers hitting the stands. And my refusal to women who want to change the face of India!”
countenance horoscope matching put off the parents I did not rise to the bait. After all, I had not come
of the few girls who were not snapped up and who here to debate sociology but to find brides for my
were therefore willing to talk to me. three young men. “What do I do?” I asked.
“What on earth should I do?” I asked a friend. “Leave those columns blank---and hope that
“There just don’t seem to be any girls around! someone who thinks like you and has a suitable girl,
Where on earth have all the girls gone?” sees your entry, likes the details you do give about
“This killing of female foetuses has changed the qualifications, salary and the like and contacts you.”
sex ratio, I expect.” “Sees my entry?”
“Not this much! No, something else is going on.” “Yes. Every month the details of every boy and
Silence fell on the room as we both sat, brows girl is printed in a booklet and sent to every parent
furrowed, deep in thought. or guardian who has registered.”
“Many are going and settling down abroad…” “And…and there are people who just want good
my friend said finally. partners and don’t care for horoscopes matching?”
“And girls are getting married much later…” “Well, I think that you’ll find that most parents
“Or much younger…” who say that they don’t want to match horoscopes,
have wards whose horoscopes have some doshams
or faults in them!” He then looked at my crestfallen
face and added, “Of course, you might be lucky!
But you know…there just aren’t enough girls these
days. In this centre, for example, there are twice as
many boys registered as there are girls.”
“But that doesn’t make sense,” I protested. “I
mean, where have all the girls gone?”

T
he man shrugged. “You should come for our
next marriage mela,” he said. “You might have
luck there.”
“Marriage mela?”
“Yes. Parents and guardians come and sit at
numbered tables and details of all registered boys
and girls are read out together with the table
number of the parents or guardian of each. Then
people who are interested in any match can go over
right away and talk to the parents or guardians. No
waste of time, see? Sometimes marriages get fixed
up right at the mela---except for the bride-seeing,
which is just a formality after all.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him over
his last sentence. For me, speaking to, mailing and
finally meeting the girl not just once but a number of
times was essential—hardly “just a formality”!
The next few months, I got the monthly booklets
and went through them meticulously. But most of the cost more but I felt that they got my points across. I
registered girls didn’t seem suitable for my boys and then went to the classified ads office I had visited
the parents of the few who did, didn’t respond to my earlier, swallowed my pride and paid for “two
letters and phone calls, probably because I made it insertions and one free”, again in a box at the top of
clear that there would be no horoscope-matching the matrimonial column. I then went to the classified
and that the girls and boys should be allowed to ads offices of some other national dailies and had
freely talk and meet. the ads published in the all-India editions of those
Finally, I ended up at a marriage mela. The hall papers too----in special boxes.
was decorated grandly, courtesy sponsors, all of And I got plenty of responses. Some of them were
whom sold goods and services needed for from parents of girls who appeared to have
weddings. These sponsors had even set up stalls something to hide. They vaguely mentioned past
outside the venue, so that you had an idea of the misadventures, failed marriages and even children. I
kind of goods and services they had to offer. didn’t feel the need to respond to these. If one of the
“Go in and find a bride for your son and then boys had fallen in love with a girl with a tragic past
come out here and buy and order all that you will and wanted to marry her, I would have been proud
need for the wedding!” I heard one stall owner tell a of him and supported him all the way, but that
group of people. Everyone tittered hopefully. wasn’t the case here.
I went in and sat at the table I had been allotted

T
and waited. Soon the show began and the o my joy, many of the other replies I got were
organisers went onto the stage which had been set from families which appeared to be as broad-
up at one end of the hall and began to read out minded as my own. I got in touch with the
details of girls and boys and the table numbers of parents of those girls whom I thought would suit my
their parents and guardians. The details of my three boys and asked if the boys could call and mail their
were also read out and I sat up eagerly and waited daughters before they actually met. Most welcomed
for the rush that I hoped would follow. Half an hour the idea and I got the process of the boys getting to
passed and then an hour. Not a single person came know the girls started.
to my table. It was the most humiliating experience I But the last 10 months had taught me that I
had ever gone through! couldn’t sit back and think that things would just
work out. I again began to talk to relatives and
looked around. The tables that were crowded other people I knew. But this time I talked mainly to

I were the tables at which the guardians of girls


were seated. It was the same old story. Where
have all the girls gone, I wondered for the
the younger lot, my nieces and their friends. I asked
them if they knew any young women who were
interested in settling down. I told them that there
umpteenth time! Where have all the girls gone? would be no horoscope-matching and that I was
But, as I sat there, I also realised that I was open to girls from any state and community. My
completely out of place. My boys and their only condition was that my nieces and their friends
background were too “different” for the families of must know these girls well and be able to vouch for
girls to want to approach me or to feel that their girls them.
would fit into our family. I hadn’t mentioned the Suggestions and the names of girls poured in. I
gothrams of my boys or their stars. I didn’t want to vetted the girls with the help of my boys and then got
match horoscopes. I wanted them to be in touch with them and their parents. If they
allowed to meet and speak to the girls were open to the idea, the boys got in
freely. All this didn’t fit into the usual Well, there touch with them and started to get to know
patterns for arranged marriages. No, was the them.
marriage bureaus and melas wouldn’t Punjabi girl Nothing worked out at once, but I felt
work for us. It had to be newspaper ads who seemed as optimistic. At least we were on the move
and personal networking. and things were looking hopeful! And even
attracted to
I went home and rewrote my newspaper when I got shocks, I was able to look at
Dhruv as he
ads. I reread my initial ones and realised them as learning experiences.
that I had been wishy-washy. This time, I obviously was What shocks? Well, there was the
was bolder and made it clear what sort of to her and Punjabi girl who seemed as attracted to
family we were. I mentioned the languages then finally Dhruv as he obviously was to her and then
my boys knew and stated that we were told him that finally told him that she couldn’t marry him.
Tamilian Brahmins who didn’t care about she couldn’t “But why?” I asked in dismay. “I thought
state, caste, horoscope, class or marry him. both of you were getting on fine.”
community. The ads were now longer and “We were, but I think that she changed

42 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


her mind because I am dark,” said my nephew in a reached just where they should be!
matter-of-fact tone. “She’s very fair.” The number of love marriages is definitely going
When I looked nonplussed, he gave a grin. “Indian up in our country, but the traditional arranged
men have rejected girls down the ages because they marriage is also alive and kicking. Many young
were dark. Well, now it’s payback time!” people want to fall in love and get married and they
I half-heartedly joined him in laughter and hoped feel ashamed when they do not find anyone and
that he wasn’t too heart-broken. have to fall back on having a match arranged for
them. But there is nothing to feel embarrassed or

A
nd then there was the time Sanket met one of abashed about in having an arranged marriage.
the girls. Her mother had contacted me after Free and open mixing of the sexes and dating are
she had seen our newspaper ad and I had got still not completely socially acceptable in our country
the impression that their family was very and so many young people do not get the
much like ours. I suggested Sanket for her If your boy or chance to meet a variety of members of the
daughter, Misha. We exchanged girl is rejected, opposite sex and, hopefully, fall in love.
photographs and later the two exchanged don’t let him or And if you are trying to arrange a
phone numbers and email IDs and began marriage, here are some tips from someone
her feel that
to call and mail each other. They appeared who has been through it with three “boys.”
there is
to get on very well---Sanket’s phone bills First, unless you are very lucky, it’s not easy
something
became absolutely horrendous! to find the right partner and fix up a
wrong with him
I talked to Misha’s mother a few times marriage. You have to try it all---contacts,
or her. Yes, try ads, marriage bureaus, follow-ups and
and we finally decided that it was time
Sanket and Misha met. Sanket was in your best, but anything else you can think of. Secondly,
Bahrain on a project at that time but he also believe in you have to be single-minded and
took leave and flew down to Bangalore to fate – because determined in your search and not let
meet Misha. They met and I waited eagerly marriages are yourself become disheartened. Remember
for Sanket to call me and tell me the result made in the girl or boy you are looking for has
of the meeting. heaven! certainly been born and is available
He called, but my heart sank when I somewhere. You just have to find her or him!
heard his voice. He sounded confused and Third, don’t be embarrassed by the whole
uncertain. “What is it?” I asked. “You told me that procedure of arranging a marriage and feel that it
she and you vibed so well…..” turns marriage, something which should be and
“Yes, but…but this Misha isn’t the same girl….” emotional and other-worldly, into a practical
“What?” business proposition and arrangement. It’s not that.
“She’s not the girl in the photograph!” It’s just that love hasn’t entered the picture yet and so
“Are you sure?” one can be sensible and realistic and draw up lists
“Yes.” of what you want and don’t want in the boy or girl
“But…but how can that be?” and family you are looking for.
“That girl was of average looks, but pleasant

F
looking. This girl….is different….” or instance, I wanted each of the girls I was
I dug out Misha’s picture and later went to looking for to have at least one sibling and this
Bangalore and met her. Yes, the actual Misha was one of the factors I took into account when I
looked very different from her photograph. Her was considering a girl. I had my reasons for that---I
photo had been touched up, airbrushed, digitally feel that people with siblings grow up learning to
altered, whatever, to make her look better. share, that they are less likely to be spoilt and that
“So?” I asked Sanket on my return. “What do we they will always have the advantage of having
do now?” someone to share family problems and burdens
“Actually I find Misha OK-looking….but….” with.
I understood. Misha was OK, but cheating was So be clear about what you want and what you
not. I agreed and called Misha’s mother and told don’t---and then go for it!
her Sanket did not want to proceed with the match. Lastly, if your boy or girl is rejected, don’t let him
And then, suddenly, things began to move at the or her feel that there is something wrong with him or
speed of lightning---on all three fronts. And before I her. There is nothing personal in this kind of
could actually believe it, everything fell into place rejection. It only means that the other party too had
and all three of my boys were engaged to three most its wish list and theirs didn’t match yours.
charming and suitable girls! It had been a long Yes, try your best, but also believe in fate---
journey, I thought to myself but all three boys had because marriages are made in heaven! We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 43


A hairdo bedecked with roses

Today’s hairstyle
is aiming to give
women a doll –
like appearance.
No wonder, dolls

Imaginatively
are much preferred
these days.

artistic
The style
adding beauty
with simplicity

Exuding hypnotic charm

Out and out an oriental style

Since prehistoric times women


An attractive blend of the ancient
and the modern have used their hair to magnify
their personality and beauty.
Don’t we stumble when we see
someone sporting a novel
hairstyle?

A style
infusing self
– confidence
No longer will you
avoid eating rice if you
cook it according
to the prescribed
recipes.
Sweet canapes
By Roma Ghosh

WAYS TO SERVE RICE saffron. Cook on low fire till the


SWEET sugar syrup is fully absorbed into
portions. To the first portion mix
the mint chutney and keep aside.
CANAPES the rice. Fill the canapes with this
rice and garnish with cherries and
To the second portion mix the
tomato sauce and keep aside. To
INGREDIENTS: serve as a sweet dish. the third portion add the garam
For the canapes: masala and keep aside. To the
100 gm of flour fourth portion add the mushrooms
2 pinches of salt
2 tsp of sugar powder
RAINBOW RICE and keep aside. Leave the last
portion white.
1 tbsp of ghee INGREDIENTS: Arrange the differently coloured
3 cups of cooked rice (salt and rice on a serving plate. Place in
For the filling:
ghee added while cooking) an oven or microwave for just to
1 cup of cooked rice
1/ cup of sugar syrup 3 tsp of mint chutney heat the rice and serve at once.
2 3-4 tsp of tomato sauce
3-4 saffron strands soaked in 1/ tsp of garam masala
1 tbsp of lukewarm milk 2
50 gm of button mushrooms -
cherries for garnishing
cut in circles and sauteed in RICE
METHOD
To prepare the canapes: Sift
olive oil for 2 minutes
METHOD
CORIANDER
together the flour, salt and sugar
powder. Mix in the ghee and a
To assemble the rainbow SOUP
rice: Divide the cooked rice into 5 INGREDIENTS:
little water and knead into a
dough. Divide the dough into 7-8 3 cups of vegetable stock
1/ cup of cooked rice
portions. Roll out each dough into 2
1/ cup of peas or mixed
a small circle. Place each of 2
these circles into a canape or vegetables like carrots and
cookie mould. The size of beans
your circle should be slightly salt to taste
bigger than the size of your 1 tsp of vinegar
mould. Bake the moulds in 2 tsp of chopped celery
a preheated oven at 150 leaves
degree for 12 minutes or until 1 beaten egg – optional
light golden brown. METHOD
Alternately you could buy Bring the vegetable stock
ready-made canape moulds. and one cup of water to a boil.
For the filling: Heat the sugar Add the vegetables and allow the
syrup and add the rice and Rainbow rice soup to simmer. Add salt, vinegar,

46 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


to taste. Allow the rice and tomato
juice to come to a boil. Lower the
heat and cover with a lid and cook
till all the juice has been
evaporated. Cool to room
temperature and then fill tacho
cases or roast the papads and
Rice coriander soup
place a portion of the tomato rice
on it and serve as a starter. Tacho
celery leaves and simmer for 2-3
cases look good to serve.
minutes. Add the cooked rice and
simmer for another 2 minutes.
Now add the beaten egg a little at
a time and allow the egg drops to
MANGO RICE
set in the hot soup. You could
adjust the thickness of the soup
KHEER
Broccoli pulao
to your choice. Serve piping hot. INGREDIENTS:
4 tbsp of long grained rice
700 ml of mil
200 ml of sweet mango pulp
BROCCOLI
TACHO RICE sugar to taste PULAO
INGREDIENTS:
For garnishing: INGREDIENTS:
1 cup long grained rice
nuts 1 cup long grained rice
2 tsp of ghee
METHOD 2 tsp of ghee
2 cups of tomato juice
200 gm of broccoli flowerets
1 piece of cinnamon – 1/2 inch Soak the rice in water for at
least 30 minutes. Drain and keep 1 piece of cinnamon – 1/2 inch
2 cloves
aside. Bring the milk to boil and 2 cloves
1 cardamom
reduce it to half its quantity. Then 1 cardamom
salt to taste
mix in the soaked rice and cook till salt to taste
tacho or papads for serving
METHOD METHOD
Soak the rice in water for 10 Soak the rice in water for 10
minutes. Drain out excess water minutes. Drain out excess water
and keep aside. Heat the ghee and keep aside. Heat the ghee
and add the whole spices and and fry the broccoli flowerets
allow to splutter for 1-2 till a light golden brown – this
minutes. Mix in the rice and should take only 2-3 minutes.
stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Mix Remove and keep aside. In
in the tomato juice and salt the same pan add the whole
spices and allow to splutter for
1-2 minutes. Mix in the rice and
stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Add 2
cups of water and salt to taste.
Allow the rice and water to come
to a boil. Lower the heat and
Mango rice kheer
cover with a lid and cook till three
the rice is almost tender. fourths of the water has been
Mix in the mango pulp evaporated.
and a bit of sugar if you At this stage mix in the stir fried
need it. Cover and cook till the broccoli and cover with a lid and
rice is absolutely tender and the cook again on low heat till all the
kheer begins to thicken. Cool and water is evaporated. Serve this
Tacho rice serve garnished with nuts. pulao hot with dahi and papad. We
Courtesy: India Gate Basmati Rice
New Delhi. Ph: 011-26548400
Novel method
for making them.
By Savita Bhargava

Peanut choco whirls


PEANUT
CHOCO
WHIRLS
INGREDIENTS:
85 gm refined flour
1/ tsp baking powder
2
3 tsp cocoa powder
TASTY SNACKS
1/
3 cup sugar
the vanilla essence. Form into a
Dal Makhani
Step 1:
Serve
4
rs

1 tsp grated lemon rind soft dough using cold water.


85 gm butter 1/ tsp salt Shape into a disc, wrap in plastic,
3 tbsp castor sugar 4
6 tbsp cold butter refrigerate for at least an hour.
1/ tsp vanilla essence
2 1 tsp vanilla essence Grease and flour in a baking
1/ cup shelled peanuts Step 2:
4 3/ cup mixed fruit jam sheet. Place dough on it and pat
4
2 tbsp icing sugar 1 tsp lemon juice into a 10 inch circle, forming a
METHOD cherries high edge. Pierce bottom of
Sift together flour, baking sweetened whipped cream or dough all over with a fork. Bake in
powder and cocoa powder. Beat a pre-heated oven for about 25 Step 3:
ice cream (optional)
butter and castor sugar together minutes or till slightly browned.
METHOD Melt jam with lemon juice in a
till pale and creamy. Beat in the Mix together flour, almonds,
flour mixture and vanilla essence. small saucepan over low heat
sugar, lemon rind and salt in a until spreadable.
Put the mixture in a piping bag large bowl. Mix in the butter and
fitted with a large star nozzle and Spread 1/2 cup jam mixture
pipe whirls on greased baking over bottom of shell. Arrange the
sheets or trays. Place a peanut fruit on top. Brush with remaining
in the centre of each whirl. jam mixture.
Then bake in a moderately
hot oven, until set. Cool
the biscuits, serve dusted PIZZA
with icing sugar.
SWIRLS
INGREDIENTS:
21/2 cups flour (maida)
GLAZED 2 tbsp butter
PLUM TART 1 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
INGREDIENTS: 3 tsp dry yeast
11/3 cups refined flour 1/ cup warm milk
2
1/ cup finely ground almonds Glazed plum tart 2 tsp pasta reasoning
2

48 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


now you can make

Dal Makhani
restaurant like food
Serve
4
rs
at home
Step 1:
In a pressure cooker, boil 1 cup black urad whole
dal, drain the entire cooking water and mash the dal
to a paste.

Step 2:
Add 2 cups fresh water, 45 gm butter and 1 pack
Knorr Ready to Cook Dal Makhani.

Step 3:
Close the cooker, after 2 whistles lower flame and
cook for 20 min.

5
Reasons to use Knorr Ready
To Cook Range
✓ No cutting or chopping
required
✓ Saves time
✓ Saves gas
✓ No added preservatives
✓ Low on fat, low on salt
4 tsp cocoa powder
10-12 tsp water
chocolate syrup or sauce
METHOD
Preheat oven. Line
three small round cake
pans with parchment
paper. Combine flour, baking
powder, soda in a bowl. Beat
butter and condensed milk in a
large bowl with an electric mixer Italian twisters
until fluffy. Add the flour mixer and
enough water and beat well. Pour
Pizza swirls half of the batter into a medium
bowl. Spoon remaining batter into ITALIAN
1 cup grated mozarella cheese
a plastic bag. Stir melted
chocolate or cocoa powder into
TWISTERS
1/ cup prepared pasta sauce
2 batter in bowl, spoon into another INGREDIENTS:
METHOD plastic bag. Cut 1/2-1” opening in 11/4 cups flour
Mix the milk, sugar and yeast bottom corner of each bag. Pipe 3 1 tbsp butter
1/ tsp sugar
in a bowl. Let stand until yeast even alternating rings of yellow 2
foams. Place flour, salt and butter and chocolate batters into 1/ tsp salt
2
in another bowl. Mix in the yeast prepared pans, two beginning 11/2 tsp dry yeast (instant)
mixture and form into a soft with chocolate rings along edge 1/ cup warm milk
4
dough. Keep the dough covered of pan and one beginning with a 1 tsp dried mixed herbs
till double in size. Knead again, yellow ring. Bake for about 20-25 1 tbsp grated cheese
and divide it in two. Roll out minutes. Cool completely. Place
dough to a square on a floured METHOD
a layer with chocolate edge on
surface. Spread pasta sauce over Mix the flour, butter, sugar, salt,
serving plate, spread top with a
it. Sprinkle a little pasta reasoning yeast, mixed herbs and cheese.
little chocolate sauce, repeat with
on it and half of the cheese. Roll Add the warm milk and prepare a
yellow-edged layer, then
dough swiss-roll style to enclose soft dough. Take small portions,
remaining chocolate-edged layer.
filling. Cut roll cross-wise into 1 roll them. Take two rolls and on a
Top with melted chocolate.
inch slice. Place slices on a lightly floured surface, twist
greased baking sheet or tray. them together. Place these
Bake until golden brown bread sticks on prepared
about 15 minutes. Transfer to baking sheets. Press down
a serving dish and serve edges slightly to prevent
immediately. twists from unravelling. Bake
until golden brown. Serve
warm.

CHECK
BOARD CAKE CINNAMON
INGREDIENTS:
200 gm condensed milk
COFFEE CAKE
140 gm maida INGREDIENTS:
60 gm melted butter 11/3 cup refined flour
1/ cup granulated sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence 2
1/ tsp soda 1/ cup butter milk
2 2
1 tsp baking powder Check board cake 1/ cup refined oil
3

50 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Cinnamon coffee cake
SWEET ‘N’ diagonally, so we get 2 triangular
sandwiches. Dip this sandwich in
SPICY the besan batter and fry in
moderately hot oil till crisp and
PAKORAS golden. Again. Cut the fried
pakora into two. Serve hot.
INGREDIENTS:
4 slices of bread
2 tbsp coriander mint chutney
2 tbsp jam
1/ ” thick slice of paneer (equal
TWICE BAKED
4
to the bread slices) POTATOES
2 tbsp tomato sauce INGREDIENTS:
6 tbsp besan (gram flour) 4 large potatoes
1/ tsp red chilli powder 1/ -1 cup grated cheese
2 2
1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp ajwain 1 tsp pepper powder
1/ tsp baking soda
2
a pinch of baking soda 1/ cup thick cream
4
1/ tsp salt 1/ tsp chaat masala
4 2 salt to taste
1/ cup firmly packed light brown oil for frying
4 METHOD
salt to taste
sugar Scrub potatoes well, wash dry
1/ cup softened butter
4 METHOD and rub the skin with a little oil
1/ cup chopped walnuts Remove the corners from the and salt.
4
2 tsp cinnamon bread slices. On the 1st slice Prick the skin of the potatoes
spread the jam, place the 2nd with a fork, so steam can escape.
METHOD
slice on it and spread the chutney.
For cake combine 1 cup flour,
Cover with the 3rd. On the paneer
granulated sugar, buttermilk, oil,
slice sprinkle some chaat masala
baking powder, baking soda and
and place it on the bread slice. On
salt in a mixing bowl. Beat well
the other side spread the tomato
until blended. Pour batter in a
sauce and cover with the
greased cake tin.
fourth slice. Press firmly,
For topping, mix remaining
and keep aside. Mix
flour, brown sugar, butter, walnuts
the besan and the
and cinnamon in a small bowl with
spices, add
a fork, until mixture is crumbly.
enough water to
Sprinkle over batter.
obtain a smooth
Bake until tooth pick inserted
batter. Cut the
in centre of cake comes out clean.
s a n d w i c h
Serve warm.

Sweet ‘n’ spicy


pakoras

Twice baked potatoes

Bake in a hot oven till cooked.


Slice off tops of potatoes, scoop
out centres, leaving 1/8th inch
shell. Mass potatoes, add the
cheese, cream, salt and pepper,
heat until fluffy. Fill into the shells.
Bake again for about 20
minutes. Serve hot.
Baked sandwiches METHOD powder and bake in a moderately
Grease a baking dish well. hot oven for 20-25 minutes. Cut
Dip a few bread slices in milk, in squares while still warm, but
remove quickly and press out serve when cold.
the excess milk. Line the dish
evenly with the required
number of bread slices. Melt BAKED CRISPY
jam, add the grated coconut
and mix well. Spread the
STARS
coconut jam mixture over the INGREDIENTS:
250 gm maida (refined flour)
Baked crispy stars 50 gm almond powder
85 gm butter
1/ tsp salt
2
2 tbsp curd
1 tsp ajwain
1/ tsp soda bicarbonate
4
BAKED METHOD

SANDWICHES Mix well all the


ingredients and make a
INGREDIENTS: soft dough using a little
thick custard made from 1/2 ltr. water. Take small
milk portions, roll them out, cut out
6 bread slices (corners biscuits with a biscuit cutter of
removed) any shape. Arrange on a greased
1/ cup milk
2 bread slices. Cover with the baking sheet as tray and bake in
1/ cup grated coconut
4 remaining bread slices. Spread a moderately hot oven till golden
1/ cup jam or jelly warm custard evenly over the
2 and crisp. Store in an airtight
1/ -1 tsp cinnamon powder bread slices. Sprinkle cinnamon container when cool. We
2

husband slowly came to know the state


of affairs at home and he came to the
conclusion that his mother was making
my life miserable.
Has something
One day as a trial my husband happened in your
suggested an idea and I agreed to it. life that has left an
Accordingly, whenever we were in our indelible impression on your
private room he pretended to scold me mind? Some experience that gladdens
with so loudly that all the members of your heart or which makes you
False friction for peace the house could hear. That continued shudder with pain or embarrassment
even after years! Why not share your
This incident happened in the for a few days and as climax he experience with the readers of
initial days of our marriage. Though enacted a drama of beating me with a Woman’s Era? All published incidents
my mother-in-law welcomed me as stick. While all the beatings were taken will be paid Rs 200. Please type or
her daughter-in-law, the good times by the beddings in the room, I write neatly on white foolscap paper
and send it to:
remained only for few days. I found pretended crying loudly. My MIL
MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE
that my MIL was against me for thought the beating to be real and
EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE
anything and everything. The same advised my husband not to beat me, I
mistakes committed by her daughters kept on crying for some time. With E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
were ignored by her and for the same soaked eyes when I came out of the Womansera.com
things there was a war of words room not only did she scold her son Name:
against me. To have peace at home I but also pacified me and started to love
Mobile:
silently suffered and didn’t dare to me and there was peace back in my
E-mail:
tell my husband. Anyhow my life. – Payal Kathuria

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 53


This modern
beauty is striking
such a pose which
can be only
worded as dance
of grace. With
such charm she
can make or mar
any man.

Fanciful flight
of beauty

Won’t you join me?:


This seems to be an
open invitation to
the valiant at heart.
The challenge can
be quite interesting
and tempting.
Planning the
move: She is
contemplating
or rather all
set to bowl
over the target
of her love.
Looking for
an equal: She
is preparing
to cast her
hypnotic spell
on someone
special.
So sexciting:
What about the
weak hearts,
even the bravest
of the brave can
quiver before
her alluring
personality.
Face so innocent:
Her simplicity and
noble beauty can
win more than
scores of hearts.

Make-up and hair: Serena Rayani


Model: Shailaja
Cloths: Golmaal, Lokhandwala
Photographer: Arjun Prasad
QA &
all the good that has come into your
life since he left.

My girlfriend and I decided to try sex


though our marriage cannot happen
for another two years. Now she says
she feels guilty and would not let me
even kiss her. It is driving me
absolutely mad. What do I do? I
really do love her.
learn new things, take up a serious Girls who have had a traditional
hobby, whatever appeals to you and upbringing are often unable to enjoy

Q&
then chalk out a route for achieving it. premarital sex and if you really love
her, you have to understand her
feelings and point. While it must be
I had a very bad time with my ex- difficult, there are other ways for a
My best friend and I had jobs in the fiance. He turned out to be a liar, a man to do a solo job for himself and
same office. She then left and went cheat and even beat me up on a two years is not that long a time.
to another outfit where she has a couple of occasions. Now I feel that I Respect her decision, as all men
more senior position. She wants me am constantly dwelling in the past must when it comes to a woman’s
to join her company but then I will be and unable to move on. How can I point of view on sex.
junior to her. I feel I am happy in my hurry the process up?
job but don’t want to disappoint her. You need to grieve before you can
What do I do? hurry the process up. Of course, you I am a serious person
You need to be honest with your would have been hurt terribly and by nature. Recently a
friend. Did you make a pact with her have a right to feel cheated and hurt. very bubbly and
when she was leaving the job that You have not mentioned how long chirpy colleague said
you will join her. And even if you did, you have been single. There is no she could easily fall in
you have a right to change your mind. ‘prescribed’ time limit. Every human love with me only if I
Tell her that things will change being instinctively knows when they knew how to laugh at
between the two of you as friends if are ready to move on. Pick up with myself. What is that
one is the boss and the other a rank old friends and do things you enjoy supposed to mean?
lower. Also, you can say that your doing with them or even on your own. A good sense of humour is
prospects are better in the old job and Every time you find yourself dwelling essential for a good relationship
she needs to respect that decision. on the past, just remind yourself of between two people. While it is a

A
good thing for your work that you are
a serious and no-nonsense kind of
I am 40 and became a widow when I I am only 22 but I have person, it must be boring for your
was 22. Now my only son is also the responsibility of my friends. What other people think of
settled and I feel I have done all my 18-year-old sister who you should not matter. While it is not
duties to the best of my capacity. I lives with me. I work easy to change one’s basic attitude in
have done everything right and had late hours and feel she life, you can lighten up. She probably
no excitement in my life. Suddenly I is taking advantage of my meant that you are a good human
feel that if I don’t do something wild absence. Our mom works and being, only just too serious for her
and fun now, my life will be over. Can lives in the Middle-East and I don’t liking.
I take chances? know how to discipline my sister!
Of course you have done things You are barely old enough to MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...
the right way, your grown-up son take responsibility for yourself, let
whom you have managed to settle in alone your teenage sister. Yet if This new column will tackle queries
life is the proof of that. As for the circumstances are such that related to family, social environment and
excitement, it is never too late but you have no choice, you have to personality development.
there is wisdom in doing things that play the mother. Your sister’s Please address your queries to:
are fun but not necessarily wild. Yes, attitude will not change overnight. WOMAN'S ERA,
you can take chances but remember Let your mother communicate the E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
your limitations and work accordingly. limit on various things and you tell New Delhi-110055.
Discuss with some good friends her that she should earn her
or log on to Womansera.com
about what you want to do – travel, freedom by being responsible.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 59


What does it
take to bring
down prices at
a shop? Find
out from a
self-professed
master of the
game.
By Ashutosh Rawal

THE ART OF
BARGAINING
argaining is a special art such place where you cannot bargain I am trying to study this art for the

B
and it takes lots of practice, – except supermarkets and malls. last few years and I would like to
perseverance and years of There is no one to bargain with in a share my experience and knowledge
experience to learn. The supermarket and I think that it is about bargaining with people from all
basic human mentality of sadistic. There should be some over the world. If you are bargaining
getting the most by offering system whereby you can even bargain with people from different
the least is the sole moti - in a supermarket. But promotions and backgrounds, your task becomes all
vational factor behind raffles would make up for that up to a the more challenging. Bargaining
learning and mastering this certain extent. However, you can requires an in-depth study of different
art. When both the parties never get that inner satisfaction and cultures and the behavioural pattern
feel happy after the deal, it is peace of mind in such places. I think of these people. It is a science in
considered to be a good bargain. But that such establishments are not itself. On the other hand, it is just a
that is very rare. customer- friendly and should be question of simple common sense
And remember that there is no banned from using such practices. and use of skilled language.

60 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Your acting skills and your body asking the price. This means that you
language are also put through a are a good customer and will give
YOUR ACTING SKILLS
rigorous test. Remember that you very good business to the shop. At AND YOUR BODY
should never buy anything in a hurry. this point of time, the owner will come
You get the best of the bargains and personally assist you in your
LANGUAGE ARE ALSO
when you have lots of time to spare. selection. He or she will show you 20 PUT THROUGH A
Hence, plan accordingly for your
invaluable bargaining trip.
more items, which are not displayed
outside. Take a look at them carefully
RIGOROUS TEST.
and select a few more. When I say REMEMBER THAT YOU
WHERE TO BEGIN select, it does not mean that you
have to buy those items. It is just a
SHOULD NEVER BUY
The best place to begin is any small decoy. ANYTHING IN A HURRY.
local market. Right from a small shop
in a crowded market in downtown to
The time is now ripe for the final
catch and you have to move very
YOU GET THE BEST OF
a designer shop in a glamorous carefully. You have to bargain but at THE BARGAINS WHEN
shopping centre, you can bargain
everywhere. Remember that
the same time maintain the interest of
the owner in such a manner that he
YOU HAVE LOTS OF TIME
bargaining becomes difficult when does not suspect anything. Now, you TO SPARE. HENCE, PLAN
the owner is not around and you start asking the price of each item ACCORDINGLY FOR
have to deal with the employees. and look very surprised when he tells
Hence, don’t waste your time in such you the price. But don’t mention that YOUR INVALUABLE
places. you will buy any or all of them. BARGAINING TRIP.
The best time for bargaining is late Ask for a better rate. He will lower
afternoon when many people are not the prices by around five to 10 per ask for its price. The opponent will
around. Let me remind you that the cent depending upon the place and definitely quote you the lowest price
shopkeeper or the owner of the shop situation. Just laugh and take it as a thinking that you will not buy this
will be reluctant to bargain in front of joke. Tell him/her that all your time product but are just trying to compare
many people. Do not wear very and energy is not worth such petty the prices of other products and it will
expensive or designer wear if you are bargains. Instead ask him to charge help him in selling other products that
really serious about the bargain. It the original price. you have already selected.
means that you are sending wrong It means that it is below your If you have done your homework
signals to your opponent. The owner dignity to ask for such small bargains. well (and with good acting), that will
of the shop is our opponent in this You would rather not bother about it. be the best price for that item. Ask
case. If you can afford such The opponent will feel a little guilty for another 10 per cent reduction and
expensive clothes or jewellery, you and will offer you around 20 per cent most probably the shopkeeper will
can afford anything. Do not even to 30 per cent discount this time agree to it thinking that he will make
wear torn and dirty clothes. The (again depending upon your acting up for his margin in other items that
opponent will think that you cannot skills and the situation). This is what I you have selected. Accept it
actually afford to buy any item in his call reverse psychology. reluctantly (as if you are obliging him)
shop and are just wasting his time. and immediately ask him to pack it
Wear simple and casual clothes. To for you.
create a proper visual impact is the DON’T MENTION IT For the other items that you have
first step. Remember that all this time you selected, politely tell him that you find
The real test starts when you spot are just selecting things and should them a little expensive and will come
something in the shop that really not mention that you want to buy back to him after checking prices in
attracts your attention and would like these things. Ask for the price that is one or two other places. Mission
to buy it at any cost. Do not even give 30 per cent less than his last quote. accomplished – and you will be
a second glance to that piece. If the Tell him that you are not a one-time laughing all the way to your home
owner realises that you really like that customer, you live in the with your prized possession.
particular item, half the battle is lost. neighbourhood and will be coming to The problem will start when a lot
The next step is to go away from that his shop regularly. of shop owners will also read this
item and start looking at something You should be very calm and article. You will have to wait till I
very expensive that you would never patient all this time. Start talking with study this new trend and come out
want to buy. Your acting skills will your friend in your own native with a strategy to counteract their
come in really very handy at this language and mention certain key moves. Happy bargaining till then.
point of time. words like quantity, thousands, Never forget that bargaining is your
Select a few items (at least five) quality, etc, in English. Casually pick birthright and nobody can take it
and keep them aside without even up the piece that you really want and away from you! We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 61


Today women
are putting on
clothes which
bring into
prominence
their physical
features. These
clothes make
the women and
their presence
electrifying.

at her
Curvaceous best

Going mod:
With lesser clothes
the beauty becomes
more revealing.
A timely
step: Come
on, dance
with me.

A modern-day Cleopatra:
A compelling pose when
you wear something
selective.
Rhythmic grace:
Ready to vibrate.
It’s Waltz: Match your
steps with mine.
Impeccably attired:
The impact is stunning.

Matchless charm: More than


the clothes, she is terrifically
attractive.
Dresses: Asim Miglani
Virddhi Retail, Malviya Nagar,
New Delhi. Ph: 40507333
THE FIRST SHOWER
When at last the heavens pour,
Embracing all of nature’s floor
The dampened earth
Can no more
Resist the urge
The shining sun Or the lure
With all its might, And every grass and flower springs
Bearing harshly To every heart a song it brings.
Without respite,
All upon At the first showers
the earthly plains The spirit soars
So full of yearning Smiling faces in galore
For the season’s first rain. Let joyous welcome in merriment pour
And even the gulmohur
That parched land Can’t help but spread –
So dried and tanned A carpet of flowers
May umpteen prayers In resplendent red!
Make and send – Veena Bantwal
But none can tell
How or when
The mighty rain showers
Will choose to descend...

At long last
It so happens
Black advancing clouds
So threaten
That the azure skies
With the blazing sun
Are forced to make way
And let dullness grip day.

66 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


breast where due to hormones weight. Unfortunately, her breasts
produced by the ovaries, the milk have now become very small and
ducts extend to form glandular tissue, she is cursing the day she went for
lymph and blood vessels grow and surgery. What should she do? Please
the skin enlarges to enfold the help.
swelling of the breast. What has happened is rather

Q
unfortunate. Losing weight in a
woman who has undergone breast-
I am an 18-year-old girl and have reduction surgery can be quite a
been using water jets for problem.
masturbation for the last seven years. In fact, this should be taken care
After using it I feel heaviness in my of before planning surgery. Now, the
lower abdomen though I have not only alternative is to put on a little
encountered any problem in this weight and give the much-needed
regard. My periods are regular and shape to the breasts.

Q&
normal? Please help.
You have been masturbating for
the last seven years. Though it is a I am 34 years old and married. The
simple way to let out your sexual other day I fell from the stairs and
desires and gain sexual gratification bumped against the wall. My breast
but there appears to be no is now swollen and very painful.
justification for using a water jet. In Please advise.
the long term it can harm you and What you have got is probably an
may damage your private parts. accumulation of blood under the
I am 25 years old and I have started Feeling of heaviness in the lower tissue as a result of the trauma you
getting small hairs around my breast. abdomen after the act is another way suffered. What you require is medical
This has increased tension in me. I of expressing your sexual attention (in the form of breast
will be marrying soon. I want to get gratification. But I will advise you to support and analgesics). Your doctor
rid of this problem. Please advise. desist from this act and instead divert can take care of this aspect. Many
Hairs around nipples are quite a your mind. to healthy activities like women are left with a lump in the
normal thing and many women adore sports, books, music, etc. It will take breast which often causes worry.
them. There is nothing to worry about your mind away from sexual Persistence of a lump in the breast
them. But if you do not want them fantasies. may require a biopsy.

Q Q
simply trim them very short. These
can also be removed with
electrolysis. Depilatory cream can I am 35 years old. Unfortunately, I I am 20 years old. My problem is that
also be applied. Tweezing is not have got very large, pendulous I get agonising pain at the time of my

A
recommended as it may cause breasts which are a cause of great periods. The pain is so intense that I
infection and soreness of the part. embarrassment. My doctor has cannot even stand, and have
advised me to go for reduction. What to cancel my programmes. Please
I am worried about is the large scar help.
I am a 17-year-old girl and which I may have to live with. Please What you get is part of the normal
overweight. I reached puberty when I advise. physiological reaction of the body.
was in the 6th grade as my breasts Your fears are well founded. A Most of this period pain is a side
started to develop. I observed some certain amount of scarring is effect of the body’s hormonal
very small boils surrounding my inevitable since your breasts are very swings where a hormone called
nipples. These are painless and do large. Moreover, a big scar can also prostaglandin plays a major role. It
not hurt. Please advise. produce a form of tension which may causes the blood vessels to the
What you have got are not boils be worse than the scar. Some uterus to contract resulting in these
but small ductules surrounding the women get a big scar and cramps.
nipples. Along with these there are unfortunately the breasts are the Many women bear it depending on
Montgomery glands which lubricate worst site for a scar. their capacity to bear pain.

Q
the skin. There are small nerve Analgesics can help you. With
ending and blood vessels which the passage of time these will
supply both nipples and areolas. My friend (30 years old) had large decrease. But if these cramps
What you have got is perfectly breasts along with a slightly heavy become unbearable then you see
normal. body. She went for reduction surgery your doctor.
It is the normal growth of the of the breasts. Now, she has lost — Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.
A BURNING NATIONAL ISSUE
The tough guy star talks of his
upcoming farmer-turned-Naxalite film... By Anil Merani
ction superstar Suniel Even the US Senate says that the climax which tries to explore the

A
Shetty is quite kicked about biggest threat to India is not external, human cost of this most mis
his new film, Red Alert The but internal. These people with guns misunderstood war.
War Within which deals the are not outsiders, but our very own
biggest internal security people. Full marks to the producer Something about your
problem of the day, ie T. P. Aggarwal, for attempting to character and look?
Naxalism. This intelligent make a film on a subject like this – I play a farmer, Narasimha, who
film based on a true most producers would have run shy gets embroiled in the Naxalite
incident in South India will given the risks involved. movement. It traces his journey. How
release around August/ - he picks up the gun, kills for the first
September. We caught up with Anna, But does the film glorify time. He is also forced to kill
as Suniel is adoringly called, at the violence ? someone who saves his life.
first look and had a long chat with If you see the film you will I have never done this type of
him on the same. understand that we have tried to character before. An action hero has
show that resorting to the gun does a completely different body language.
Red Alert deals with the not solve anything. There is a very I had to drop all that. My shoulders
Naxalite problem? thin line between revolution and had to droop.This project was quite
When we started the film, this terrorism. On the other hand, emotionally taxing as well. As the
issue was not so big. But of late with emotions, intelligence and education character was crying a lot, many of
the events in Bengal (Lalgarh), it has can solve most of the underlying the times I would end up getting a
become a burning national issue. issues. Our film has a very interesting headache.

70 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Working with talented actors like young kids understand the Shobhaji. Differences can occur, but I
NaseerBhai, Vinod ji and Seema importance of time. Gone are the am a guy who will say sorry if I am
Biswas was a terrifying job.They days when actors would turn up late. wrong.
would psyche me out . But it was On the flip side, money has become
good, for even I had to raise the bar the main overriding factor. Your best film?
to match up to them. The character As for content, realistic concepts Border. Injured army soldiers told
also demanded a lot of underplaying are being tried around like Red Alert, us in Kargil that they loved our work. I
which I am not known for. a film which is quite close to my felt humbled. Getting praised by the
heart. real heroes.
Shooting in the jungle? Having said that, the last two I also loved doing Dhadkan
It was fun. Agreed, there were years have been quite bad for the (romantic), Hera Pheri (Laugh riot)
insects, but living in the wild has it industry. We need to erase that part and Hu Tu Tu (social).
own high. The weather was much and move on, else, we will continue
more pleasant, than living in concrete to suffer losses and bleed. You had not done much work of
jungles. I really wonder what we have The recent multiplex strike I fear late.
done to Mother Nature. might have made the audience forget I was not getting the right kind of
about going to the cinema just like roles, so I decided to lie low rather
Why did you choose this when the video boom happened. The then doing trash. But now things are
project ? only solution is that we all join hands. on the mend and I have a fantastic
One of the main reasons for mix of films, eg Daddy Cool , a
choosing this film was the script. What is your take on the media? comedy about a funeral. Then there’s
Such Ideas if well told do click. It is I always welcome constructive
very easy to play larger-than-life criticism. You say this was wrong but
characters because the surroundings at the same time you should also
support you, but here I had to give credit where it’s due. The
become the farmer mentally to industry needs
integrate myself into the backdrop. encouragement at this
The other factor that compelled crucial juncture. But
me to choose this role was that after sadly you have some
Border and Hutu, this was one film people who are just out
which was so real. to rape the film and not
rate it.I have been called
But will a film which provokes a wooden actor with no
you to think, work ? expression, yet have
I think multiplexes have an survived for so long.
intelligent audience who want to
watch different cinema. Did Slumdog What has been the
not have people rushing in? World reason for your long
cinema which is both entertaining innings?
and compels you to think has a I never run down anybody. I
market these days and I would call always keep my producers and
Red Alert part of that genre. directors above everything else. Tum Milo to Sahi, a
Our premier at the Stuttgart film It's not that I have not done wrong socially relevant film with Nana
festival is a vindication of the hard films, but my commitment never Patekar and Dimple Kapadia. Aneez
work put in by all of us. wavered. Bazmi’s No Problem and De Dana
Dan are also in the works. As a
Will your production house Recently, there were press producer as well I have a few
Popkorn Entertainment make a reports about Ekta Kapoor issuing projects on the floor as well – e.g
serious film? a notice about an incomplete film Loot, Mumbai Chakachak and Little
Yes we have a very interesting which you were jointly co- God Father.
and sensitive theme, but I will not producing?
want to talk about it now. See, this is what I mean about Would you consider direction?
wrong reporting. I have no clue about No, it’s not my cup of tea. The
You have been around for 20 which notice they are talking about. reason why I took up production was
years – how do you see the How can you carry a story where that one has to always plan ahead. I
industry then and now? both the parties are unavailable for don’t want to spend the rest of my
Things have become much more comment? life getting up at 9 a.m. for a shoot. I
professional and organised. Today’s I respect Jeetuji, Ekta and want to do other things. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 71


THE
GREEN WORLD
Feel the Observe a flower silently….
Touch it with your sensitive
surrounding our homes, offices,
buildings, our balconies and
heart… everywhere and feel the soothing
freshness of green Feel its purity, silence, freshness effect on our bodies and minds.
and cheerfulness… One can find oneself in the midst
beauty at your Blossom with its grace, of green plants in this high-tech
sensitivity, patience and affection! machine age. Yes, develop
home and office landscape gardening in your
e are struggling and surroundings and be close to nature.

W
with landscape surviving in this hi-tech The green plants help to keep air
world and drifting far fresh, remove pollutants and
gardening. from the wonders of enhance your creativity besides
nature. Today, the pace having a cooling and soothing effect
By Dr Alka Singh of urban development on the eyes. A basic knowledge of
has transformed the plant selection and growing and
eco-friendly human one's creativity is all that is needed to
being into a machine- cultivate the art of landscape
friendly automation. gardening. Here are some tips to be
The level of pollution is crossing followed in the selection of plants for
healthy limits in most of the cities day gardening:
by day and aggravating problems of ● The plants should be selected
headache, nausea, breathing on the basis of the presence of light
difficulties and bronchial diseases,
eye-irritation, nervous disorders, Phylodendron seylum
fatigue, depressions, etc. Here, our
green friends (plants) can rescue us
from all these. Besides they add to
the aesthetic value of our building or
residence.
Our eyes long for the sight of
green nature. We can change such
dull and lifeless situations by
developing landscape gardening

72 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


at your home, balcony, backyard or
surroundings wherever you want to
develop landscape gardens. Some
plants grow well only in bright
sunlight while some can survive well
even in low, diffused light.
● Home gardens can comprise
some kitchen gardening – i.e
vegetable plants – and some herbal
plants also besides ornamental
plants. Plumeria small tree Phlox
● Direction is very important in
plant selection for landscaping.
Heavy, thick-foliage trees or sun-
loving plants should be planted in the
north-western region.
● Humidity should also be
considered while selecting the plants.
Some plants are moisture-loving
while some like dry climates
● The flowering or foliage types
should be selected according to Bougainvillea climber Caladium hortulanum
one's preference. Generally, the
flowering plants require sufficient
sunlight for flowering. While foliage
plants can be grown indoors.
● The watering of plants should
be done according to the type of
plants. The succulent and cactus
require less amount of watering than
the other herbaceous types.
● The soil-media for growing
plants should be loamy with good Asperagus springer Crotan petra
drainage and sufficient organic Climbers: bougainvillea, clerode-
matter. ndron thompsoni, C. splendens,
● Regular fertilisation is a must quisqualis, star ipomea, etc.
for healthy plant growth. The plants Indoor plants: crotons, dieffen-
should be fertilised once in two bachia, philodendron, asparagus,
months. Besides, chemical fertilisers aralia, scheffelera, etc.
like urea, super phosphate, neem Sesonals: gazania, phlox,
cake, mustard cakes, etc. should be dianthus, marigold, sunflower, pansy,
used. etc.
Philodendron wendland Succulents: agave (dwarf), aloes,
Anthurium clarinervium ● Regular pruning should be crasssula, echeveiria, haworthia,
adopted to keep plants in proper sempervivum, etc.
shape and size. To live and enjoy a healthy, loving
and fresh life, there is need for love,
Some popular plants for care and respect towards our own
landscape gardening: nature, our home, our planet. Women
Bright colourful shrubs: can play an important role in building
hibiscus, ixora, tecoma stans, the green-friendly concept wherein
meyenia erecta, hemelia, etc. the kids can also be encouraged to
Fragrant flowers: plumeria, jui, grow plants.
mogra, night queen, Kamini, etc. By generating this awareness,
Palms: chrysalidocarpus (areca love towards plants will follow
palm), fishtail palm, chamaerops naturally, leading to environmental
humilis, howeia, phoenix, raphis conservation, an eco-friendly life and
excelsa, etc. ecological balance. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 73


The Imprint
As Sahil’s detective work dug into the mysterious disappearance of the lovers, he
came up with an amazing discovery. By Kumud Bhatnagar
Part-2
useful information."
The story so far According to Sulbha, hearing that she couldn't
Childhood friends Yash Sharma and Janet Fernandes get the train reservations and was going back by the
later studied medicine together and fell in love. But bus, Yash insisted that she travelled with them.
they knew their otherwise devoted parents, being "Since I was already feeling jittery about
staunch Hindus and Roman Catholics, would never travelling alone in the night bus, I agreed. Janet, at
agree to their marriage. On their return trip from their that time, didn't say anything but disappeared soon
Pune convocation, their speeding car crashed into a after. Even Yash was seen enquiring about her from
truck and both its passengers were burnt beyond all and sundry. A little before the convocation
recognition. A year later, detective Sahil convinced function, Janet came to my room with a confirmed
both families that the bodies belonged to others. So train ticket. She said, as such, she had no objection
where were the medico lovebirds if alive? This is what to my travelling with them but she had already
he now sets out to discover. Now read on... booked a room for themselves at a small place on
the way and was not sure if there would be another

D
r Kumar couldn't tell them much except for room available for me. But, at the same time, she too
asserting that Yash was a non-drinker. didn't like me to travel by bus, hence went to an
Moreover, no liquor was served at the influential person to get train reservations for me. On
celebration party. Dr Rao told them that my asking who the influential person was, she said
Yash too had a job offer in the Middle East that he was a businessman with contacts even in the
and was quite serious about it. "Where middle and far east. Through him, she could arrange
exactly in the Middle East?" a job for Yash in a Gulf country.
Dr Rao shrugged his shoulders "I asked in surprise how Yash agreed to go to a
"That he didn't specify and I didn't ask either but, Gulf country when his ultimate goal was either the UK
on my asking how his parents would take or US. Janet said going to either of those
his going so far away, he reasoned that if "Why didn't places was not possible in the foreseeable
they could send him to Pune, a journey of you ask Sulbha future, nor it was possible for them to live
14 hours, why should they object to his without each other as they could not sneak
going to a place which was only a about name of to a private nest, once they were back in
2-3-hour flight. You can zero-in on a place the lodge where their hometown. She claimed to have
which boasts of a hospital with cardiac Yash and Janet mollified Yash to some extent but intended
facilities and in a journey of a mere 2-3 to seduce him that night to accept that job.
hours." were supposed That's why, without his knowledge, she
"Dr Rao perhaps doesn't know that to break the had booked a room at his favourite lodge
most places in the Middle East by air are journey?" on the highway. They used to often break
a journey of a mere journey there to enjoy the calm, serene
2-3-hours," Shikha remarked while Shikha asked tranquility of the place, especially the
coming out. afterwards. privacy of the swimming pool amidst the
"Still, he has given a clue. It’s not thick bushes.
difficult to locate a cardiologist in the Middle East if "All these months I often wondered how they
the need arises," Sahil replied. "Where'll we go could be on the road at that time when she had
now?" plans for a night halt. And, mind you, sleuth, Janet
"Let's go to Dr Sulbha first. She too had been was not the one to give her plans up so easily,"
wondering all the time about how Yash could ram Sulbha said looking at Sahil.
into a stationary truck. She might provide some "Do you know the name of the person who

74 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


booked your train ticket, doctor?" Sahil asked.
"No, but that ticket must still be in my purse as
unidentified bodies
being found during
LONG
nobody took it from me here at the station. Is it that period. But you're
STORY

possible to find out by showing the ticket who got it right, the possibility of their being thrown in
booked?" a uninhibited area cannot be ruled out. Tell
"A remote possibility is there, still I'll take the me, did Janet tell you about her acquiring a
chance. Hunt out the ticket please and then inform job in the Middle East?"
me," Sahil said getting up. "Thank you very much, "Yeah, she had an offer but was not
doctor. You have indeed given some valuable serious about it."
information." "Do you know through whom she got
"Why didn't you ask Sulbha about name of the it?"
lodge where Yash and Janet were supposed to "No, I don't know," Nasreen said stiffly.
break the journey?" Shikha asked afterwards. "And what has it got to do with Janet's
Sahil looked at her admiringly. untimely death?"
"A good question indeed, Shikha. You deserve to "A lot – not with her untimely death but
be a detective's wife." disappearance," Sahil's tone was equally stiff.
"Thanks for the complement, Sahil. How about "Death in itself is an act of disappearance,"
taking me along when you go for further Nasreen remarked and then requested to be
investigations on the highway?" excused as it was time for her to go to the hospital.
"Well, that would indeed be a privilege. As they came out of Nasreen's house, Shikha
Anyway, coming to your question, Jungle Hut is the remarked that coming over to this place served no
lodge on that highway which meet's Sulbha's purpose.
description. But, to be on the safe side before "On the contrary, Nasreen unwittingly helped us
embarking upon the journey, I'll confirm it from a lot, Shikha. Her assertion that Janet was not
Sulbha.” interested in that Gulf job is wrong and proves that
"You may ask from Dr Nasreen, we are on our she is shielding Janet. Shall I tell you another
way to her place now." interesting observation? The influential person
through whom Janet got the job for Yash and train

A
lthough Dr Nasreen appeared to be very reservations for Sulbha is related to Nasreen.”
friendly and cordial, she claimed to have no "Then why didn't you ask her about him?"
idea about their night halt and when Sahil "As if she would have admitted it.
remarked that it could be the Jungle Hut she said it Don't worry, I have my own ways to
couldn't be, as Janet didn't like its haunted look. She trace that person out because he is
also vehemently asserted that both Janet and Yash the most vital link."
couldn't be alive. Shikha couldn't fully
"People who perished in their car, must have comprehend all that
killed Yash and Janet and then fled at breakneck Sahil said but she
speed from the scene of action." didn't want to
"Agreed, but then what happened to their antagonise him by
bodies? No unclaimed body had been found in that asking too many
area during that period," Sahil pointed out. questions. Her parents
"Some wild animals might have dragged them to were quite against her
the jungle or the miscreants themselves might have going alone with Sahil
thrown them in the river and they must have floated
down beyond your jurisdiction."
"For your information, I am a private
detective without any jurisdiction and the
whole world is my oyster," Sahil said
softly. "We have a network of our
associates and branch offices.
Through vernacular media
and other sources, all
crime-related information
is e-mailed to all our
offices. In my files, I
didn't find any news of
but Shikha had assured them that at Pune she would looked at Shikha and asked the waiter,
be staying with her friend Abha and Sahil at a "Why? What happened?"
different place. Moreover, Sahil was investigating "Their car was stolen, sir. We park our guests'
unofficially and could face difficulties in getting co- cars in the basement but Dr Sharma said that he
operation from people. But she being the deceased's would be leaving within a few hours after some rest,
niece, could take advantage of sympathy. In the so we let the car remain in front of the main gate..."
evening, Sahil came with the travel plan. His plan "Oh, I see! Don't you have a night watchman?"
was to drive straight to the Jungle Hut. If the requisite Sahil asked.
information was not available there, then to stop at "We do have, sir. He had gone to the toilet and
other tea stalls and motels etc. on the way to Pune or when he came back, the car was not there. He
otherwise go straight to Pune and, next day, question presumed that the party must have left and, when the
the man with whose help Janet procured a job for party looked for their car in the morning, it
Yash. transpired that the car had been stolen."
"How did you get his address?" Shikha was "Then hell might have broken loose?" Shikha
surprised. asked.
Sahil smiled smugly. "Oh no, ma'am. Those people didn't blame the
"It's a trade secret but let me share it with you. I watchman or the management saying that they had
sent one of my assistants to the telephone exchange left the car there at their own risk."
to scrutinise the available telephone bills of "But then, how did they go from here?"
Nasreen's father Mohammed Mukhtar Ahmad and "The owner of this lodge sent them in his own
see if calls had been made to a certain Pune car."
number. My hunch paid off. Calls had often been "Where?"
made to Pune on one particular number. My Pune "That I don't know, sir," the waiter thought for a
associates told me that the number belonged to Mr. moment then added. "They must have gone to the
Irshaad Ali, the owner of an import and export firm. nearest station because the driver was back with the
That's enough for the time being. See you with the car soon."
first rays of the sun tomorrow." "The food was so tasty that I have overeaten, so
want to sleep for some time. Waiter, could we get a

S
hikha had expected Sahil to be quiet, rather room for a short while? Find out from your manager,
grim, during the drive but he seemed to be in a please."
jovial and talkative mood and the drive was fun Shikha who was visibly excited with the waiter's
till they came to the Jungle Hut. disclosure of Yash's car having been stolen, now
"Does the place look haunted, Shikha?" Sahil looked hurt – rather shocked.
asked. "That shouldn't be a problem, sir. Still, I'll ask the
"On the contrary, it looks a perfect backdrop for manager."
a romantic stay," Shikha replied. After the waiter left, Sahil turned to Shikha,
"Exactly. Now I am convinced that Nasreen was "I don't have any ulterior motives, Shikha. I am
trying to misguide me. Janet and Yash might be not going to sleep but plan out the future
patronising only this place. So we have to order an strategy."
elaborate lunch and linger over it to befriend the "That we can do in the car itself,"
waiter and extract maximum information Shikha's tone was stiff.
from him," Sahil remarked. "No, Shikha, my every move has got
During the lunch, Sahil struck up a to be precisely planned and jotted
friendship with the waiter, and asked him down. Moreover, I am convinced that
how long he had been working there. Yash and Janet have disappeared with
Lunch over, he liberally tipped the waiter Nasreen's help. If I fail to trace them on
and then showed him Yash and Janet's my own, I have to confront Nasreen
photographs saying that those people told and for that I have to win over the staff
him to break journey at the Jungle Hut. of this lodge.”
"How nice of them to say so, sir. They The waiter came back with the
were our regular customers but, during manager. "For how long do you
their last stay, something very want the room, sir?"
unfortunate happened for the first time "For a couple of hours at the
in our lodge and they stopped most."
patronising us," the waiter said a "No problem and since you are
trifle sadly. Sahil meaningfully our esteemed customer Dr
Sharma's friend, we won't charge you anything. By The moment they reached near her home, Shikha
the way, sir where's Dr Sharma these days?" called home on her mobile to tell them to keep
"He is at Pune, very busy at his nursing home.” coffee ready for them.
"I see! That's why we haven't seen him lately, “Not for me, Shikha, I won’t be coming in,” Sahil
otherwise he was not one to stop patronising us," interrupted her.
the manager remarked. In the room, Sahil got busy Shikha looked at him quizzically, “Not even for
on his mobile. He was instructing someone. Hearing coffee?”
him adding that he would not be coming to Pune, “Not today. I’ll go straight home, take a shower,
Shikha was intrigued. She impatiently waited for him have a light supper and hit the sack,” Sahil said
to finish the conversation and, before he could dial stopping the car in front of her house. “Okay,
another number, she asked if they were going to Shikha, see you tomorrow.” “Do come in for a few
stay there overnight. minutes, Sahil, otherwise mummy will feel bad,”
"No, we'll go back. I got the Shikha implored.
information I wanted. I'll bring you to stay “It is confirmed “She shouldn’t with a sleuth son-in-law.
here overnight after our marriage." that while Yash Please tell her I’ll come for dinner
"Thank you so much for unasked-for and Janet were tomorrow,” Sahil planted an indifferent
benevolence, Sahil, but won't you kiss on her earlobe.
question Irshaad Ali?" sleeping in a Shikha was perplexedly looking at the
"That would be a sheer waste of time. lodge, their fast- disappearing car when she felt a soft
Nasreen must have already warned him car was stolen touch on her shoulder. It was Uncle
and he would be on his guard. I have to and the lodge Raghav. He looked at her expectantly.
make a few more calls. After that, we'll Before she could speak, others too came
have tea and start back for home. owner got them out and Dilip asked. “How successful was
Meanwhile, if you like, you can freshen dropped to the the trip?”
up," and once again he got busy on his nearest railway “It is confirmed that while Yash and
mobile. station.” Janet were sleeping in a lodge, their car
was stolen and the lodge owner got them

A
ll Shikha could make out was that he instructed dropped to the nearest railway station in his car.”
various people to contact passport offices and “That means Yash is alive!” Aunty Anita cried in
foreign consulates of their cities. After that, he excitement. “Where did he go from the railway
called room service for tea and went in the toilet to station? Any idea?”
freshen up. Shikha shrugged her shapely shoulders.
“Sahil, why didn’t you ask for the driver who “Sahil didn’t try to find out but made many calls
drove them to the nearest station?” Shikha couldn’t to his associates and declared that his investigations
help asking while having tea. were over. The case is closed for him and he never
“Do you feel they still might be sitting on the discusses a closed case. Search me, if I know how
platform or staying in that small place either? Nor is he could close the case without knowing the
there any possibility of their divulging their plans to whereabouts of Yash and Janet.”
anyone, and I don’t want to unnecessarily question “Why didn’t you ask him?” Dilip demanded.
anyone. Don’t worry, my associates would shortly “How could I after that cryptic declaration?”
trace Yash out and you can have all these details Shikha replied and went to her room. Sandhya
straight from the horse’s mouth,” Sahil replied followed her.
breezily. Shikha looked at him in disbelief. “Is that all? Or are you hiding something,
“Is it so simple, I mean so easy, Sahil?” Shikha?” she looked straight into Shikha’s eyes.
“When it is proved that they did not perish in the Shikha met her gaze.
car fire, naturally they had migrated to the Middle “It’s nothing of the sort, mom, you’re presuming.
East. Exactly where, my associates would let you Sahil is a thorough gentleman but, as far as his
know soon. Let’s make a move now so that I can profession is concerned, he is stubborn and
drop you home at a respectable hour,” Sahil said confident, excessively – overconfident perhaps.”
getting up. “One thing more, Shikha, I don’t talk Sandhya heaved an audible sigh of relief, then
about a closed case and, as far I am concerned, said, “Those are his professional problems, rather
Yash and Janet’s case is closed. My investigations traits, Shikha. The best for you to do is to keep away
are over and I am waiting for the results.” from probing. Remember, if you want a hassle-free
Although not convinced, Shikha decided not to existence, never divulge your domestic trivia to him
probe further. As they were in a hurry to reach and never show interest in his vocational trifles.”
home, they didn’t stop for refreshments on the way. “Okay, mom,” Shikha said resignedly. “What do

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 77


Aunty Anita and Uncle Raghav intend to do now?” of what he learnt about Yash and Janet, she
“No idea. You freshen up, then come and sit wouldn’t be able to concentrate on her work. But
with them for some time.” before she could tell this to Sahil, he phoned her.
To Shikha’s surprise, both Raghav and Anita were “Listen, Shikha, things have taken an interesting turn.
quite cool about Sahil’s attitude. Do take up. I am coming in 15 minutes to pick you.”
“He would himself contact us whenever he has

B
information worth sharing. We won’t disturb him on efore she could react, he disconnected.
our own,” Raghav said firmly. Although peeved, she took half day’s leave and
“Sahil will come over dinner for tomorrow, so came to the office gate. Within minutes, Sahil
uncle and aunty you too please come. He may came. He smilingly opened the door for her and
divulge something,” Shikha said. then drove quietly till he found a place to park the
Anita pondered for some time. car. He then switched on his mobile, handed it to
“If Sahil shows any inclination to meet us or tells Shikha saying, “Listen to the other party without
you something interesting, Shikha, do phone us to uttering a word or making a sound.”
come over. Meanwhile, this assurance that Yash did More suspense! Shikha irritatedly took the mobile
not perish in the fire is enough for us to bless you but was thrilled to hear Yash’s voice, “Hi..., hello,
and Sahil.” Shikha’s eyes moistened. Aunty Anita Nasreen... hello...” Sahil almost snatched the phone
still must be simmering in an unimaginable agony. If from her.
Yash was alive, then where was he and in what “Are you sure Yash was at the other end?” Shikha
condition? Although Sahil had never let her down, nodded her head in affirmation.
Shikha had a feeling that, today, Sahil may not keep “Where’s he?” was all she could ask in a choked
the appointment. But Sahil, as usual, came at the voice.
right time. He was looking quite relaxed, although “In Sopore, a saffron-growing area of Kashmir,
he suggested to Dilip to organise an excursion to the near Srinagar. How he reached there, Nasreen will
Jungle Hut but refrained from mentioning Yash’s tell us. We’re going to her place.”
name. Since Raghav and Anita decided not to “Before that, shouldn’t we tell Aunty
question Sahil, others also decided to do the same. Anita?”
“No, Shikha, not before

D
inner over, the family left Sahil and Shikha ascertaining that Yash is hale and
alone to chat. After some time, Sahil’s mobile hearty. It is only my presumption
rang. He was quite excited to see the number that Yash and Janet crashed the car
but his face fell on hearing whatever the caller told to do the vanishing trick.”
him. “It is not a presumption but a fact,
“Get me copies of all the mobile and telephone Sahil, but how did they
bills of Irshaad Ali, Nasreen and Mukhtar Ahmad. manage to land up in far-
Get me this information before noon tomorrow,” he off Kashmir?”
instructed. “Let’s get it straight
Shikha couldn’t control herself any more and from the horse’s –
asked, “What happened, Sahil? Couldn’t your men rather
trace Yash and Janet?”
“They haven’t left India. Where they are in India,
we’ll know from the telephone bills I have asked for.
Janet must be certainly in touch with Nasreen.”
“Supposing she is not, then?” Shikha persisted.
“Then we have to resort to the old formula of
getting their photographs published nationwide, and
announcing a reward to the informer. But I don’t
think we need to do that. I’ll come to your office
during lunch break tomorrow.” Sahil brought her
hand to his lips and got up. “Have a nice sleep luv.
Good night.” Shikha felt cheated. A real prankster –
creates suspense and then chills out leaving you
simmering in curiosity!
Whenever Sahil had to work late, he would meet
her during lunch break but today she was not
interested in meeting him. Suppose he tells her half
mare’s – mouth. Nasreen has to tell us In the case, both were going to shock their
everything now, including whether Yash respective parents with their decision to
was a willing party or forced to yield.” circumstances, marry out of their religions and would
“Must have gone willingly, Sahil. He Sopore was the certainly be disowned by them. The grief
was adamant to share his life with Janet of death was any time better than the
best hideout.
even at the cost of being disowned by his shock of desertion and disobedience by
parents.” Luckily, they the children.
For a split second Nasreen was both like rather “Uncle advised them to go to Kashmir
flabbergasted to see them again but, till he could arrange new passports for
regaining her composure, she taunted,
love the place them. Being an exporter of saffron and
“So you’re still flogging the dead horses.” and seem to be carpets, Irshaad uncle knows affluent and
“It would be wrong to claim that Sahil enjoying their influential people in Kashmir. He
revived the horses back to life as they immediately arranged for Yash and Janet
were never dead,” Shikha retorted. “How
stay there. to work in a local hospital.
they reached Sopore, we want to hear Both have told uncle that they are quite
from you, doctor.” happy there and he need not bend over backwards
to get them new passports. Anyway, what do you

T
he colour drained from Nasreen’s face. Before intend doing to make their respective parents yield
she could react, Sahil spoke, “I know, doctor, to their children’s happiness?”
Janet and Yash have gone to Sopore with your “I’ll only apprise them about the whereabouts of
Irshaad uncle’s help. If you won’t tell us the truth, I’ll their children and why they took advantage of the
get it the same way I learnt of their being in Sopore situation. How they tackle the situation is their
instead of the Middle East. If you tell me the truth, I problem,” was Sahil’s cryptic reply. We
promise you’ll come to no harm. Helping in an act of
elopement is a punishable offence you must be
aware.”
“Who told you all this?” Nasreen asked
resignedly.
“Oh, come on, Nasreen, don’t you know my man
is a sleuth? From a mere glance at Yash’s teeth Libra Launches
imprint, he was certain that the charred body in the
car was not that of Yash,” Shikha replied smugly. Coir Mattress
“Since you already know this much, you must be Libra International Ltd. has
also knowing why the duo went into hiding – rather launched a Coir Mattress in the
hibernation.” name of “Hamara” Mattress.
“For that one need not be a detective, Nasreen. Hamara mattress made from
Everyone loves a lover. All I want to know is how all Natural Coir fibre on top and
this happened, and are Yash and Janet free to leave bottom with high density foam in
Sopore whenever they like?” Sahil asked. the middle for a sound sleep.
“Oh yes, they are not under custody, or any bond Company is using 15mm quilted
to work there for a specific period either. Since they 100 per cent Cotton Fabric for extra comfort in these
were not carrying their passports with them, they mattresses.
couldn’t go abroad. In the circumstances, Sopore Hamara Coir mattresses contain layers made from the
was the best hideout. Luckily, they both like – rather coir fibre, taken from the husk of a coconut. Hamara coir
mattress is a good choice for many reasons. Coir is a
love – the place and seem to be enjoying their stay
completely natural fibre and very much eco-friendly.
there. Now, to your first question, as to how all this
Among all the benefits it offers, the most important ones
happened. After the theft of their car, they both left in
are the ability of ventilation and moisture-reducing
the lodge owner’s vehicle for the nearest police
capacity. It also absorbs heat and that makes it a
station to lodge the complaint of the theft and then
wonderful mattress. One can also feel a sense of calmness
proceeded homewards. But, on the way they learnt and relaxation while lying on a Hamara coir mattress.
about the ghastly accident involving their car, and Hamara mattress is one of the most versatile products
changed their plans. They went back to Pune, to in terms of economy. The company is making all
Irshaad uncle to be exact. Since uncle was already standard sizes of mattress. There is one-year guarantee
aware of their plight and trying to find jobs for them on these mattresses. A pair of Hamara Coir Mattress
in the Middle East through his contacts, he also (Size-72X36) is available for Rs. 5,746/- MRP (Inclusive
appreciated their plans. Uncle conceded that, in any Tax) Nationwide.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 79


JODHAA AKBAR
JEWELLERY GLITTERED!

A breathtaking display of sparklers that light up the


spectacular film. By Venkateswarlu Kolluru
VIJAYAWADA: It's an occasion for and earrings to chains, were manufactured the jewellery for the
celebrating the memorable 16th- displayed. The King Bharmal set, film and organised the exhibition
century jewellery. Jodhaa's tourmaline set, wedding here. About seven-eight orders that
set, navaratna set, Akbar's durbar set included the entire Navaratna set
he visitors admired the and wedding set were among them. costing around Rs 14 lakh were also

T
seamlessly blended traditi - Queen Jodhaa's 12-piece head-to- placed. "The entire collection is
onal motifs and techniques toe jewellery set that includes amazing. But, I particularly liked
used in the making of the jhumkis, naths, hath phools , rings Emperor Akbar's sword very much,"
jewellery, which speaks and pendants were the most eye- said the Tanishq people.
volumes for the connoisseur- catching. "This is no ordinary sword. The
ship, glamour and allure of The organisers said an order for best kaarigars (craftsmen) of the
the Mughals. That was jewellery placed at the exhibition country toiled for nearly a year to
Tanishq's Jodhaa-Akbar included vaddanam as well. "A create the magnificent ceremonial
Jewellery Exhibition held in visitor, impressed by the Jodhaa's 31/2 foot and 20-kg sword," pointed
the South-Asian central city, peacock hansli set, placed an order out Ms Prasad.
Vijayawada, on 24 and 25 May 2008. for the same," said Jogu Prasad, "The jewellery, definitely, reflects
Precious ornaments, ranging from local franchisee of Tanishq, the the extensive field research done by
elaborate neckwear, rings, bangles jewellery brand of the Tata group that the makers in Rajasthan and Gujarat

80 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


to understand the nuances of the art
form," said G. Saudamini, a visitor
who saw the movie three times.
The collection was put together by
design and production teams and
more than 200 kaarigars.

OPULENT JEWELLERY
Tanishq worked in collaboration
with Chitrakala Parishad for 6 months
and did in-depth research on Mughal
and Rajput history, tradition, culture
and jewellery, explained Ms Prasad.
"It's opulent jewellery, very
impressive,” commented Namitha, a
student of Siddhartha Public School,
while her brother Bhargav felt that the
jewellery looked lovelier in the film
than in the exhibition. Vijayawada,
incidentally, was chosen as one of
the five cities to organise it.
The collection included nearly 200 encrusted with rubies. Designer had to reflect the glory of the emperor
pieces of jewellery that were Ruchi said that colour red was the and hence was extraordinarily
intricately crafted in pure gold, and colour of the Rajputs and all the opulent.
brilliantly embossed with precious jewellery worn by the Rajputs in the
and semi-precious stones in kundan
and meenakari techniques.
movie has rubies on them. The set
weighs more than 4 kg. "Ash loved
METICULOUS
The jewellery line includes the the jewellery and did not complain DETAILING
sarpech (feather pin), archer's ring, about the weight," Tanishq authorities The pieces exuded drama,
arsi (mirror ring), bhor (head jewel said. glamour and luxury and meticulous
like an Indian tikka ) and hansali Akbar's wedding ensemble was attention was given to details. For
(choker). As these pieces will not be breathtaking. Green being the colour instance, the finger ring worn by
of use to a contem porary Indian of the Mughals, it was resplendent Akbar to protect his thumb during
female, I guess it makes sense that with emeralds and pearls. The set archery, has the motif of an elephant
Tanishq has decided not to sell inside. The swan set, which
them. Around 400 kg of gold Akbar gives Jodhaa on the
along with emeralds, pearls, occasion of their wedding, has
rubies, tourmaline and jade meenakari detailing behind it.
stones had been worked on by The designers used the
200 craftsmen. Thirteen and swan motif in the necklace to
eight ensembles were made for represent the peaceful union
Ash and Hrithik, respectively. of two cultures and dynasties.
Painstaking research had Another unique feature of the
gone into crafting the jewellery swan set, according to
in as authentic a manner as Sangeeta Dewan, head of
possible. Twenty designers design, is that asymmetrical
met with the king of Kishangarh stones had been used to
and went through various achieve symmetry.
archives to get a vivid idea of The piece de resistance of
the jewellery in vogue then. It the collection, Akbar's sword,
took 12 designers and 200 took 10 months to make. The
craftsmen two years to bring sword has elephant and lotus
the jewellery into existence, motifs. The elephant motif
according to Tanishq. The symbolises the masculinity and
much-talked about wedding strength of Akbar, while
trousseau set that Aishwarya the lotus stands for purity of
had worn in the movie is mind. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 81


CULTIVATE THE
PAT-ON-THE-BACK
TECHNIQUE
Compliments to spouses work wonders in
marital lives. By Shantha Nagarajan
ppreciation is something follow it and you have nipped much goes off without a single utterance of

A
most of us crave. married trouble at its root.” satisfaction.
Encouraging expressions, This kind of insensitivity to her
appreciative gestures and Be generous in acknowledging need for appreciation would dampen
warm acknowledgements her merits for achieving close - the wife’s spirits and affect her
form the basis of a healthy ness: The husband who accom - efficiency. If this attitude of taking her
relationship between a plishes something in his business or labour for granted persists,
husband and wife. A man career, wants appreciation from his resentment builds up within her,
or woman goes by the wife. When he has worked all day leading to soured ties.
spouse’s words of praise long and comes home tired, it is a Fed up with her husband’s habit
when due. Norman Vincent Peale, serious mistake for his wife to take it of picking holes in whatever she does
the exponent of positive thinking, all for granted. It is easy to say, “I am and slighting her hard work, Shilpa,
offers the following advice to couples proud of you.” It will do wonders for an exasperated housewife, laments,
aiming at a trouble-free married life: him. If the dinner is good, let the man “These men take everything for
“One of the most basic drives in compliment her culinary skills. He granted. If only they knew how
human nature is the craving to be has enjoyed the fruit of her labour in eagerly we women would work
appreciated. Remember this and the kitchen, relished it silently and ourselves to the bone for a few words

82 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


of praise!” Let the insensitive men be happier if the wife told the hubby
take note of the truth contained in this what “a sweet, loving husband you A PAT ON THE BACK
lament. are. Other husbands just moan – but
look what a jewel I’ve got!” This FROM THE SPOUSE IS
Blame game – relationship approach is bound to succeed. LIKE A TONIC, AND
wrecker: Do not develop the habit of In the beginning, couples flush
seeing the things that are wrong. with enthusiasm and excitement THIS TECHNIQUE
Condition your attention to the things
that are right, it will do her a world of
usually present a picture of mutual
admiration and trust but once the
SHOULD BE
good. excitement wanes, they go into the CULTIVATED IN OUR
According to John Gray, author of
A Guide for Enriching Relationships,
shell of nonchalance, ego and
resentment.
RELATIONSHIP WITH
a mistake commonly made by John Gray says, “In the beginning THE SPOUSE.
women is not acknowledging what he of a relationship a woman gives a
does for her but complains about man a brief look that says you could
what he has not done. In such a be the one to make me happy. Adopt the pat-on-the-back
situation the husband feels taken for Unfortunately, once they are in a technique: A pat on the back from
granted and unloved. It is these trifles relationship and as the problems the spouse is like a tonic, and this
that drill holes into marital harmony begin to emerge, she doesn’t know technique should be cultivated in our
and finally sink the dream boat which how important that message still is to relationship with the spouse.
a little more understanding, a little him and neglects to send it.” To become motivated, he needs
more appreciation, could have kept Hence, psychologists advocate to feel appreciated, trusted and
afloat. the ‘pat-on-the-back’ technique. Give accepted. Not to be needed is a slow
Great issues develop from small a pat every now and then to show death for a man. So, instead of
beginnings. A lack of appreciation your appreciation of your spouse’s blaming a man for giving less, a
which reveals itself in commonplace contributions to the family. woman can accept and forgive her
things may grow until it becomes a partner’s imperfections especially
very great divisive factor. when he disappoints her, and
In a husband-wife relation - encourage him to give more by
ship, blaming does not work. appreciating what he gives and
Understanding trust, com - continuing to ask for his
passion, acceptance and support.
support are the solutions and When a woman’s reactions
not blaming our partners. reveal a positive belief in her
“When I felt loved by my man’s attitudes and intentions
family, not only did I feel more his first primary love need is
confident but others also trusted fulfilled. Automatically, he is
and appreciated me more,” says more caring and attentive to her
Suresh, a businessman whose feelings and needs, and is
modest attempts to meet the motivated to respect his partner
demands of the home always more. She needs to be
receive his wife’s encourage - particularly attentive to
ment and approval. appreciate the little things he
On the other hand, Kavita, a does for her. With a smile and
middle-aged housewife whose thanks, she can let him know
expectations from married life he has scored a point. He
were not realised, keeps on needs this to continue giving.
nagging her husband, a man of When you express tender
modest means, because he feelings, don’t sound phony.
can’t afford to provide her with Learn to express tender
the luxuries that the neighbours feelings. As your tender side
keep boasting about. She made emerges, closeness with your
him feel inferior by regularly spouse increases. Armed with
talking down to him, and the the technique for motivating
result is mutual recrimination and close bonding, go ahead
and damage which has taken a with the wooing game, plug the
heavy toll on their marital leaks and cracks and firm up
happiness. The outcome would sag in your relationship. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 83


B O M B AY F I L M D O M

f Kambakkth Ishq did not get three- thanks to her hard work, good
Istar ratings from leading critics,
Sajid Nadiadwala has not lost his
performances in her starrers and the
high goals she has set for herself.
sleep, for a producer’s primary She’s perfect foil to Akshay Kumar in
concern is box-office collection and Kambakkth Ishq.
the film is reported to have grossed
Rs 100 crore already! How much ust as columbus discovered
exaggeration is there in this figure,
only Sajid knows.
J America by chance director
Ramesh Sippy also discovered late
Amjad Khan by chance. As a matter
he astounding success of New of fact, when Ramesh was finalising
T York has come as a major
surprise. What’s more the film has
the cast of Sholay, one of the biggest
blockbusters of Bombay filmdom, he
been declared as one of the only two had Danny in mind for the role of
hit films of the first half of the year Gabbar Singh. But it so happened
2009 which is a poor tally. that Danny was out of Bombay,
Anil Kapoor pays fine. shooting for another film. Ramesh
he success of a film helps but John Abraham and Neil Nitin happened to see a play in Bandra, a
T everyone associated with the film, Mukesh are getting lion’s share for
New York’s fantastic performance.
suburb of Bombay. When he saw the
John Abraham and Neil Nitin in Danny was the first choice as Gabbar
The film is sure to give a boost to
‘New York’ flick. Singh in ‘Sholay’.
both the actors.

f one may say so, it was a wise


I decision taken by actor-producer
Anil Kapoor to agree to cough up a
fine of Rs 35 lakh and pay the
amount to another producer B. S.
Bhullar who claimed to have
copyright over the title Short Kut –
The Con is on produced by Anil. Anil
Kapoor’s first concern was the
earliest release of his film.

areena Kapoor is undoubtedly in


K a league of her own today,

84 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Kareena Kapoor is a
perfect foil in
‘Kambakkth Ishq’.
t was indeed in the fitness of things
I that legendary director late Bimal
Roy, was recently remembered on
his birthday (12th July). His classic
films Devdas and Do Bigha Zameen
are among the best in Hindi films.

t’s indeed good for both Vikram,


I reigning hero of South film industry
and a National Award winner and
Hindi film industry that he is doing his
first Hindi film Raavan directed by
Mani Rathnam. Such a talented
young man should indeed be
welcomed in Hindi films.

hat determination and dedication


T pay is amply proved by the
success story of Ravi Kissan, who
Shruti Haasan in ‘Luck’. will also be seen in Luck. When he Arshad Warsi in ‘Kaun Bola’.
performance of Amjad, he thought he met this writer years ago in Mumbai ne cannot resist complimenting
need not wait for Danny’s return and
assigned the role to Amjad. One
he was doing hit roles, but today he
is one of the most popular stars of
O good old Mithun Chakraborty
that he defied his age and readily
man’s loss is another’s gain. Right? Bhojpuri films. agreed to do a risky shot-jumping
from a chopper – for Luck.
f Shruti Haasan has even a fraction
Iof the talent her redoubtable father
Kamal Hassan has, she may well be R emember Arshad Warsi who
shared stellar honours with
successful as an all-rounder rather Sanjay Dutt in one or two films? He
than getting typed in a particular type has taken a step ahead and made
of roles. We’ll have a good glimpse of his debut as a producer with Kaun
her talent in her first film Luck. Bola, a romantic comedy. He shot a
scene for the film in New Castle
his writer can well recall a long Street in London.
T chat with Danny in Rajkamal
studio, Mumbai. When I was through hen one has made it big,
with the interview and wanted to
leave, Danny requested me to stay
W honours follow one by one.
Music director A. R. Rahman who
for a while so that he could talk a little bagged two Oscar awards for his
more about his career. I agreed. Over Ravi Kissan can be seen in ‘Luck’. music in Slumdog Millionaire was
another cup of tea, Danny told me ome people are always on the go, also honoured with an honorary
“you are the only journalist who didn’t
ask me about my girlfriends.” I smiled
S they want to take a step forward,
rather than rest on their laurels
doctorate from Middle Sex University.
Rahman has done India proud.
and said “I am concerned with your proof? Gauhar Khan, ex-model and
A. R. Rahman – double honours.
professional life and not your VJ, is making a debut as an actor,
personal life.” with Yash Raj Films’ Rocket Singh –
Salesman of the Year. With a bit of
good luck, she’s likely to go far.

hen it comes to daredevilry,


W Sanjay Dutt was not far behind
Mithun: blind folded and with his
hands tied at the back, he jumped
from a running train while shooting
for Luck. He said he was itching for
action, so he agreed to do the stunt!
Sanjay Dutt in a daredevilry act,
blind folded in the film ‘Luck’.

86 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


f one may say so Shaktida’s soul
I must indeed be thanking the soul of
late Dadamoni (Ashok Kumar) who
advised him decades ago to take to
direction rather than acting.
Acceptance of sincere, friendly
advice resulted in making Shaktida a
prodigious film-maker, and quite a
few films made by him turned out to
be superhits. A few of hit films are
Howrah Bridge, Kashmir Ki kali and
Amar Prem.
Madhuri Dixit – a lake has been
wo films-old Sonam Kapoor must
named after her.

adhuri Dixit, one of the most


T have been pleasantly shocked
when her father Anil Kapoor (who
M successful actors in Hindi films,
may not be very busy shooting these
went global with Slumdog Millionaire)
flew into Mumbai from Los Angeles to Anjana Sukhani in ‘Jashnn’.
days, but honours and distinctions
follow her. A lake close to the Indo- Bombay filmdom can be truly proud
China border has been named after of. Although almost retired after
her. Reportedly some locals didn’t settling down in life, she continues to
like this, but that’s another matter. take interest in the welfare of female
children. Years ago she had adopted
retrospective of late Shakti two girls. An actress with a heart of
A Samanta’s films
commenced with his award-winning
was gold!

Hindi film Amar Prem (1972) at New hat Saif Ali Khan declared and
Delhi’s Siri Fort Auditorium on
11 July. Shaktida made an
W did a few years ago – establish
himself as a sole star with him,
impressive tally of 37 films in Hindi newcomer Anjana Sukhani wants to
and 6 films in Bengali. do with her solo-act in Jashnn – The
Music within made by Vishesh Films.
A damn good-looking young girl, she
has every chance of achieving her
goal.

t’s not only the producer of a film


Sonam Kapoor loves her father
Anil Kapoor.
I who wants to make a profit on his
investment in a film, a conscientious
be with his doting daughter on her director as a ‘captain of the ship’ also
birthday and then the whole family wants to make a successful
left for Macau. She may have been commercial film. No wonder
tempted to say Baap ho to aisa! therefore, the director of Love Aaj kal
Imtiaz Ali was keen on having a
riyanka Chopra, one of the most kissing scene in the film. It can surely
P successful actors in Bombay
filmdom today, was recently invited
help the film at the box office. Right?

to the Shanghai International Film hyam Benegal may not have


Festival for the closing ceremony
and honoured with festival’s top
S made tonloads of money like
many other film makers, but he has
award her tenth award, in the past the unique distinction of making
six months! Wow. some films – Nishant, Mandi,
Bhumika and Manthan which have
aveena Tandon (of Dulhe Raja been highly appreciated both at
R fame) is one of the actors home and abroad. He has received
many awards.
Priyanka Chopra – honoured at
Shanghai International Film Festival. – Deepak Puri.
lying high, ready to suit and

F
happy at the attention incited
by a loud laugh may boost
your ego while holding a
glass of wine in your hand. A
thousand pictures of
fashionably dressed women
might excite your imagination
of being on a certain level you
want to reach or want to
emulate — all this could prompt you
to pick up a drink or two for a feel-
good reason.
Today’s modern society believes
in making one’s own rules and the
rules are bent only for a few
guidelines — “don’t drink and drive”
and “drink little when you are
pregnant”. But today’s young
generation, specially urban women,
have taken to drinking out of their
own choice. Economic and family
pressures don’t allow them to
de-stress easily and to get over with
the situation or a problem or for the
plain reason to “loosen up”, one
tends to have a drink while rural
women are still having an “open
knee” attitude of having a family and
looking after home and kids without
other deviations.
Sunayna is a computer
professional who started drinking
occasionally for company’s sake.
After she got married she left her job
to look after the kids and family. But
whenever the husband and wife

Liquor and ladies,


do the two go together?
By Aruna Anand

WHY MORE AND MORE


WOMEN ARE
DRINKING
socialised, Sunayna felt uncom - But with the feminist movement of the unsteadiness, tingling in toes and
fortable in the presence of working ’60s and ’70s and due to worldwide fingers, numbness in hands and feet.
women and even when the guests exposure to other societies and ● Strained, puffy eyes, dilated
were coming to their home she would countries, raising a toast and blood vessels, fast ageing of the face
feel anxious. Therefore, just to feel consuming alcohol started becoming due to dryness.
more comfortable in front of common. Women are overworked ● Immunity – resistance to
outsiders, she started having a drink and overstressed due to their infection is decreased.
so that the party begins with a bang. extreme ambitiousness which makes ● Heart — heart attacks, high
It worked for some time but then it very difficult to create a balance blood pressure.
she started drinking fast and would between personal and professional ● Foetal effect — pregnant
refill her glass with vodka, wine or gin areas. mothers, if drinking, can pass the
a number of times. Her inner stress Thus, having a drink reflects the alcohol effect to the unborn child
manifested itself in other areas of her “liberation ethics” and women see which can develop multiple physical
life. She became lazy, put on fat and drinking as a way of expressing and nervous system complications
was often short of breath while independence and “worldliness.” with blood disorders. Any alcohol
climbing stairs and even at times Media advertising has also played a which crosses the placenta increases
while talking. role showing attractive healthy the risk of abnormality in the child.
Sunayna went to her doctor and couples frolic on the beach. Women should keep off liquor if they
was diagnosed as suffering from Glamorous and attractive ads too are are pregnant because smoking and
depression. She was advised to geared to appeal to all ages of drinking are both extremely harmful
consult a psychiatrist to treat her women and men that drinking is okay to the child.
depression. She was able to stop for everyone. Young girls take to
drinking and come out of her deep drinking as one way to look cool and
depression after a long treatment. appear natural enough to take their NO SAFE DRINKING
She regained control of her personal own decisions. In fact, there is no safe drinking or
and professional life, made some Some women, young or old, think safe limit of alcohol. It all depends on
modifications and is happy with about the positive physical effect of the man or woman’s mental and
herself now. She does drink but drinking that it lightens and relaxes physical response. No doubt, a drink
knows when to stop. their mind and body. But alcohol can makes you happy and removes
have all sorts of influences on a inhibitions but to be uninhibited in a
ALCOHOL – SOAKED woman’s physique. Female anatomy
cannot tolerate alcohol as well as a
wrong place and at a wrong time can
be disastrous as much as to affect
SOCIETY male’s. the whole life. The brain’s ability to
No doubt, ours is an alcohol- Women get drunk faster than men access the other’s behaviour, sexual
socked society where even deities and even stay drunk longer. And, advances, attention and reflex
are offered alcohol. As it is said, specially in and around the actions and to react to any wrong
“Excess of everything is bad”, menstruation time, if drinks are instance is always undesirable
drinking is a big pleasure for a lot of consumed, one tends to get drunk alcohol effect.
people. But if alcohol is consumed in faster because of the hormones Moreover, a drunken man can be
a controlled manner it is a social upheaval, whereby the alcohol gets taken as that he is letting off his
lubricant. concentrated faster in the body. steam but a drunken woman is a
The atmosphere eases off fast, Drinking is very harmful to those game for everyone. She is loose,
the party gets started well because under treatment for diabetes. pitiable, stupid and available for any
everybody gets relaxed soon and To enjoy drinking it is important to repercussion. Drunken women who
starts enjoying themselves. This is know how it affects our body. Alcohol don’t have self-control lose self-
said to be good for the heart, good gets into the bloodstream through the respect and are always left by their
for digestion and a positive liver and reaches every part of the partners.
stimulation of the human mind. body. Every organ shows change in There is no harm in asking
But the moment you go overboard its function due to excessive alcohol yourself these questions:
and lose control, alcohol possesses effects shown here: ● Why do you want a drink?
you all over. Generally, men drink ● Liver cirrhosis, cancer and ● Are you drinking because you
more than women whether urban or hepatitis. are unhappy or sad?
rural. But in women’s case, the ● Gastro-intestinal effect — ● Do you want a drink because
drinking habit could be circumstantial nutritional deficiency, ulcer, you are getting bored or you have
due to any kind of stress related to diarrhoea, etc. nothing else to do?
personal or professional reasons. ● Pancreas — pancreatitis. You should be conscious of your
There was a time when drinking was ● Throat — distinct voice change. need for wanting a drink. Drink only
associated with “bad and fast” girls. ● Nervous system — for good reasons, if any. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 89


It is like a typical student, I

AN ARTIST
:
suppose. Most people tend to
eventually leave art. But you

WITH DISTINCTION continued.


Yes, I continued. I would rather
coloured than study. That’s how my

SRUSHTI
childhood was. And colouring was
not the only thing I did. I also stitched
a lot of clothes in a creative manner
for my doll. It was something that my
parents had not seen any child doing.
She has launched a new form Initially they thought that probably I’ll
be a fashion designer. That didn’t
of “line-ism”. Gayatri T Rao happen (she laughs).

xplore your body and mind You left a successful corporate

E
and it will take you through career and chose being an artist.
the journey of exploring Why?
various emotions felt by the As a child, colours and forms
mind and different body always intrigued me. I would try to
postures followed in yoga. It translate them in my own childish
is an essential amalgamation form. I would cut colourful papers,
of the mind’s perception and make clothes, make houses from
the detachment from the Lego… but nothing could hold me
material world by following back. The decision to graduate in fine
the ancient form of control. The arts came rather suddenly as my
colours brilliantly explode and parents would have rather seen me
capture not only the eyes but also the as a management postgraduate.
senses and transform the observer They nonetheless supported me.
into a parallel world. That’s what you I developed as an artist during my
can say of Srushti’s art. college years. After college,
Born in Lonavala’s naval base INS advertising was the first choice to
Shivaji to a naval-officer father and explore the creative brain. However,
central schoolteacher mother, she somehow, things started
has an elder brother, who is a major arts (paintings) from moving in another direction
and Sena Medal holder. Her father Khirragarh University, and marketing was the
took a premature retirement and went which is now in destination. After six years of
into the oil industry. Srushti’s Chhattisgarh. Of her a corporate job and
husband, Mandar Rao runs his own institute, she says, “It marketing specialisation, I
ad agency. They have been married has been renamed wanted to pursue my destiny.
for the last six years. Indira Kala Sangeet Once an artist, always an
Srushti did her bachelor’s in fine Vishwavidyalaya, artist. I like painting thoughts,
which is, as I ideas… without keeping
understand, older than things too abstract I like
the J J School of Arts giving them form… in my own
as well.” passion that I share for life…
my paintings share with colour. Each
When and how did you realise of my works speaks for itself as I try
that you are an artist? to present my inner self on canvases.
I knew I had a creative streak
since I was a child. I started colouring What kind of paintings is your
from the age of 2-21/2. I had this huge forte?
collection of colouring books. I My medium is acrylic and oil on
started with pencil colours and then canvas. My paintings would come
crayons, then pastels and then it under contemporary Indian art,
went on to tube colours. After that wherein I play with human figures, a
came the oils. That’s how I grew in face. But it is not realistic. So there’s
my colouring. an abstract element to it. I like to call

90 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


it line-ism, since there is this typical encouraged by my teachers I only expresses my thoughts but also
characteristic to my work wherein I developed on the style. gives my work a distinct look.
add lines with different colours to my
work. Most of your works are stripes What is the medium you use?
of colours creating an image… What is the process of your work
When and how did you get why do you choose this style only and the genre you belong to?
attracted to this kind of painting? for the expression to your I use both oil and acrylic mediums,
This is something that I started thoughts? the mediums again differ based on
from my very first year in fine arts. The style that I work on is my compositions. I would get up in
When you join an art school nobody something that I started doing in the the middle of the night and start
can teach you how to paint and how first year of my college. I liked sketching if a thought comes in my
to draw. It is always ingrained in you. working in this style, it is unique, and mind. I have scared my family a lot of
But, what they do is open the no one has ever experimented in this. times by this habit of mine. I like to
windows to your mind and give you I developed this style and it has sketch my dreams… I like to translate
that creative freedom to explore. I somehow become my patent. Now, those in the same way that I visualise
was given that in my first year and when I think visually, I think in stripes. them. I am a contemporary artist with
that’s when I started doing this and That’s what I call "line-ism". It not a distinctive style and would not like

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 91


comes to my mind at that particular yes. If they concentrate on the art
time. I do not really sit and give it a only, then probably not.
lot of thought.
Being an artist can you
What really inspires you? compare today's and yesterday's
Life, in itself. art world?
The contemporary style of painting
Do you pick up subjects from is more of an expression of thought.
life then? Today, artists have the freedom of
Not consciously. It’s very random. expressing themselves in different
mediums, styles and forms. This
Is there any difference between allows the freedom that artists have
your earlier works and now? been seeking for centuries. We are
It has grown immensely. Yes, not bound by the strict rules that the
there is a difference. I think more on artist had to follow during the
the thought level. Renaissance or the struggle that
artists had to go through during
Are auction houses helpful in Impressionism. So, yes, people are
the development of art? more open to accepting new ideas
I don’t know at what level you and welcome artists that would rather
mean. At the end of it all if the artist is not tread the beaten path.
directly auctioning off the works, then
maybe it helps. If you are asking in What is the current scenario of
terms of helping the artist, then I am art in India?
not very sure. But art, there’s a I think it’s much better than what it
difference. was a couple of years ago. Due to
this recession, even art has been hit.
In what way does it help art? For close to a year there has not
Of course, your work travels. It been any buying or any other
goes to better places, to better movement as far as art is concerned.
to belong to a particular genre… I buyers and you get publicity.
have a lot to work on and experiment What does the future have in
with. And the publicity helps the store for you?
artist? I intend to have many more
Are you experimenting now on Yeah. Publicity helps the artist. exhibitions and participate in loads of
this kind of art? Again, it depends on what level you group shows in the future. I would
Yes. Initially it was a more static are talking about. If the auction also like to experiment in different
kind of work I did on the same style. houses emphasise on the artist and mediums. I want to grow as an artist
Now, I have given more flavour to it by the background of the artist, then and learn. In art, learning never stops
working on spaces, on expressions, and the more you work, the more you
on other elements of our daily life. The mature as an artist and the better you
figures are more fluid now. I would like paint.
to call it more mature. So I’m just Art has a very promising future.
adding elements here and there and People now understand art more
trying to give a different angle to than they used to. The sensibilities
every series that I do. of people and patrons are changing. I
am proud of being part of a
Tell us which artists have generation of artists that is not scared
influenced you and your work. to experiment. I believe that an artist
I think the typical flamboyance that never ceases to grow and I would
is there in my work maybe influenced follow that path.
from Van Gogh’s works to a very
large extent. And I like Rembrandt What are your future projects?
also. I am working on a concept right
now and hopefully I’ll be finishing it
How do you select themes and in a couple of months. It’s a series
ideas for your paintings? of paintings that I’ll be coming out
They are random. Whatever with. We

92 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


time I was away, and my mother

CAMPUS RUMPUS welcomed her. My mother promptly


asked her whether she was my staff
lecturer called Gajalakshmi. Coming
to know about her real name, my
mother was furious and admonished
MISTAKEN IDENTITY him. He was so bitter and sensitive me. I split into laughter hearing this
This incident happened when I about his loss that he kept on harping and was also ashamed. Next day my
was doing my postgraduation. We about it so that people got fed up and friends got to know about this. My
were a group of 15 students in our started cracking jokes about it. friends and I shifted our places to the
class, girls more than the boys. We By the middle of March it became last bench in her class. What a
used to be quite boisterous, when we very warm. One fine Sunday morning lesson! – Ambica V., Hyderabad.
were expected to be quiet and there was lot of commotion in the
studious. It so happened that we had hostel as APS loudly announced the
a new statistics lecturer at that time, recovery of his lost sweater. A
who was also just out of the college number of us gathered around his
and was our age. His classes were room to know about the person from
very boring. So, one day in the whom the pullover was recovered.
afternoon when his class was going He parried the query by saying that,
on, I could not resist and just whistled as he had got it back, he did not want
very loudly. There was a stunned to name the person and cause him
silence, and in the ensuing silence, I embarrassment.
got very scared, I thought that maybe After few weeks, he revealed to
I will have to go to the HOD. He was me in confidence that he found the
very agitated and then he looked at sweater on his own body when he
us and started scolding the boy removed his clothes in the bathroom
sitting next to me. He told the boy for taking a bath!
that he will not tolerate such a type of – Dr C. B. Singh, Mumbai.
behaviour in his class and he made TWIN NUN
the boy go out of the class. All the One or my fondest memories from
protests from that boy were of no NEVER NICKNAME college is the time spent in the
use. This incident happened while I college corridors of all places,
– Preetam Aswath, Karnataka. was in my second year of graduation leisurely sauntering from one class
in a co-ed college. There were few to another. This of course wasn’t
girls in my class, as not many particularly appreciated by the nuns,
LOST CASE preferred my option of studying who insisted on hurrying up the girls
My next-door-neighbour APS in maths, economics and statistics. The who usually walked in herds at a
the college hostel often used to come whole class was fun-loving. We had a bovine pace. There was this one
to my room for little chit-chat. One statistics lecturer. Her classes were particular corridor I’ll always
day he found one of his new very interesting, and the entire class remember, since on one of its walls,
sleeveless sweaters missing from his liked her. The only problem we had there hung this photo frame of a long
room. He had his suspicion on two with her was that she was obese. We deceased nun. It so happened that
of our classmates who often visited nicknamed her as Gajalakshmi (gaja this late nun, had a twin who was
means elephant). In due course we also a nun and sadly for us, was very
forgot her real name. In the house, much alive and kicking! In fact, she’d
while discussing about college I chase latecomers away and was
always referred my statistics lecturer known to be a real terror! With this
as Gajalakshmi. It so happened that as a background, you can imagine
one evening I saw her near my how funny it was when, one
house, as she came to meet a afternoon, soon after joining college,
doctor. I asked her to come home, as a friend and I were walking down the
it was just two houses away from the corridor that had the late nun’s
doctor’s house. She could not come portrait. My friend simply stopped in
but promised that she would come her tracks on seeing the garlanded
some time later. I informed my photo and blurted out , “Don’t tell me
mother about this. After a few days, she’s dead – she was chasing me in
my lecturer came to the doctor’s the corridor just this morning!”
place and came to my home. At that – Amrita Suresh, Andhra Pradesh.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 93


“I don’t choose my
subjects deliberately.
They come to me
spontaneously,” says the
artist. By Our Correspondent

PAINTING
WOMEN OF TODAY ulti-talented artist Anita long, women have been painted in

M
Chauhan draws sketches Indian folklore, art and sculpture.
and paints mainly women. Anita’s attempt in her contemporary
In whatever form she work indicates certain uniqueness in
depicts them, is unusual in terms of the same continuity.
today’s context. Her However, her exercise is little
content is thinly veiled, more daring and free. She has tried
especially considering to bring out the woman of today
current attitude towards encompassing the entire spectrum of
morality in India. Anita what she is and how she feels. She
feels that to portray a woman is a has depicted them more serene,
challenge when it goes beyond just confident, strong and ready to face
the body or its sexual context. Since any challenge in life. The artist feels
that the body reflects the soul. That
way, connection formed between two
human beings is beauty. She says
that the human spirit is irrepressible
and more you suppress it the more it
soars. As such, the artist says, after
millennia of suppression, the modern
Indian women want to fly high now.
They have occupied the centre stage
of creation today. And they are
strong, firm, resolute yet compassio -
nate and full of love and hope.
Her paintings are, in a way, a
tribute to the woman power drawn in
vibrant bright colours full of form,
sensuality and overtly expressive.
Ph: 9818129687 Often compared to Frida Calho, Anita
E-mail: represents the new exciting lot of
anitachauhan.chauhan@gmail.com Indian painters, who are unique in
www.anitaartgallery.com their quest for artistic expression.

94 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Depicting even in a semi-nude form, enhances her sexuality.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 95


Excerpts from an interview: expression of emotions. As such I
Tell us something about your have always received encouraging
artistic journey. comments from the viewers and
I had an inclination towards art critics alike.
since my school days but I never
thought to be an artist. However, I Do you take other topics also
always pursued art as a hobby, which besides women?
later on became my passion. Even I have depicted other topics also
then little idea did I have about including emotions like fear, anxiety,
becoming an artist as I got engaged dreams, men with different expre -
in other work, especially theatre and ssion, sadhus, blind people, etc.
modelling. It was only after marriage
that my considerate husband Your comments about the role
recognised my artistic talent and of art galleries.
inspired me to pursue my passion. Most of the time, art galleries talk
about the senior artists. They seldom
Why do you create art? encourage up-and-coming artists. I
When a person has not got formal personally have no experience with
training in a field but continues to art galleries. I don’t believe in them
work then money cannot be the either. Artist can make himself/herself
motive. The same is with me. I am a anywhere. I will carry my art journey
self-taught artist and I get immense forward.
satisfaction from creating art. Other
than that, I wish to convey a What about the future of art?
message to the people about the Art is a nice journey. People are
crucial role women play in our enjoying it and taking it seriously.
society. Yet, everywhere they are They take art as a way of investment.
being discriminated against. Many positive changes are coming.
Art is like a property. NRIs, and
What media do you then choose foreign buyers are investing more
to work with? money in art. A stage of consolidation
Well, I work in every medium and has come for the artists. Earlier, art
use all colours. I paint on canvas and was an intellectual topic. Now, it has
handmade paper also. My coming become common.
solo show will be of black/white
paintings done on handmade papers. What are your future projects?
As for the colour choices, I like bright theme. There is no preplanning. Even I am currently working on black &
colours and like to use red, yellow, the titles of my works come in the white paintings. They are a study of
blue, fuchsia, green and many other end when I have given my paintings expressions of body, mind and soul
shades to portray my subjects. finishing touch. on handmade paper with charcoal
and watercolours. What the body can
How do you choose your You depict women in the nude. depict, what soul can desire and what
subjects? Why? the mind can speak is what I have
I don’t choose my subjects I feel I can express the women in tried to express. When you combine
deliberately. They come to me real form. Occasionally, I tried to don mind and soul with the body, the
automatically. Spontaneity is the them clothes but then, I felt, they lost combination is capable of expressing
depth. In my view, to depict them in a myriad of feelings. A woman’s body
nude is the more realistic way to manifests itself into a thousand things
portray womanly sentiments. and is capable of reflecting all that is
humanly earthy or divinely spiritual. It
Did not you ever hear someone will be a show of woman’s exceptional
declaring your work vulgar? expression based on personal and
I personally feel there is no social interactions and the ups and
vulgarity in my works. I cannot say downs in her routine life. Hence I
about people who see vulgarity even have titled it Expressions of Body,
among pious relations like brother Mind and Soul and it will be held at
and sister, but people have greatly India Habitat Centre, some time in
appreciated my work. It is an honest August. We

96 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


QA &
Q
I am a 23-year-old woman and am would not only be betraying your
obsessed with sex. Since I neither sister, you would also be getting
have a boyfriend nor am married, I involved with a man of bad
watch porn on my computer when I character who has no scruples.
can. I work and cannot do this Who knows what he would
during the day, but I stay up half the blackmail you into doing next?
night and watch sex stuff. So tell your brother-in-law that
Recently my brother-in-law found you will not fall prey to him and tell
this out and is now blackmailing me. your sister what you have been
He says that he will tell my sister doing yourself. It will be a little
about me unless I have sex with embarrassing, but nothing more
him. I too feel like experiencing in than that. And tell your brother-in-
reality what I have been law that you will tell your sister what
experiencing in fantasy. Should I tell he asked you to do if he interferes in
him this? your life again. If you are obsessed
It would be extremely foolish and with sex, watching porn or having
wrong of you to start having an an affair is not the solution. Why
affair with your brother-in-law. You don’t you get married?

Both my parents had AIDS and died Sad things and tragedies happen People who do badly in exams do
of the disease three years ago, within in life. We are responsible for some well in life; those who miss
months of each other. At that time of these and others are just acts of promotions rise later and “rejected”
both my elder brothers were abroad fate. You are certainly not respon - people find wonderful partners.
and I was the only member of the sible for what happened to your Situations and incidents don’t
family who was told the truth by the parents. So there is absolutely no matter as much as our response to
doctor. I did not tell my brothers reason for you to feel ashamed. them. If we take things positively and
because I didn’t want to shock and look at failures as opportunities to
hurt them. grow, we will not become depressed
Now both my brothers (aged 27 One bad thing after another has been and unhappy. So, take greater care
and 29) are engaged to be married happening to me over the last few of your health; try to improve your
and I too (I am 26 years old) have a years. These include falling ill during qualifications and take care of your
girlfriend and I don’t know what to do. two important exams and not doing looks and be pleasant and helpful. All
Could my brothers and I have got the well, failing to get a promotion at this will get you out of your
infection from our parents? Should I work because I joined a day later depression and fill you with energy.
tell my brothers the truth? I am so than a colleague and she was judged Most important, let go of the past
depressed that I feel like breaking off senior to me (though I have a much and enjoy the present. The future will
with my girlfriend and remaining better service record) and having the be what you make it.
unmarried all my life. I feel so young man who came to “see” me
ashamed. fall in love with my younger sister.
If your parents had been HIV Now I have begun to consider I am 22 years old and am totally
positive when your brothers and you myself unlucky. I am constantly uninterested in getting married. I
had been born and any of you had depressed but also resentful about want to do well in my career, travel
got the infection, you would certainly my fate. Why are so many bad things and have fun. But my parents are
have come to know long ago. happening to me? Will I never be insisting that I get married so that
Obviously your parents got the virus happy? they can be free of their responsi -
later. As to whether any of you could It is understandable that you feel bilities. I feel that they are being
have got the infection from living with depressed and wonder why so many unfair and that they are asking me to
them, it is very unlikely that you unpleasant things are happening to give up my future just so that they
would have. you, but you must be careful not to let can relax. How can I make them
But your worry and depression are your depression and resentment understand my point of view?
very understandable. You should tell make you a person with a negative Talk to your parents and if you
your brothers the truth. They have a view of yourself, others and life. have any sibling or older relative who
right to know. It is also best that you Time has a way of healing most understands you and whom your
consult a doctor and ask if you and wounds and many of the things that parents will listen to, ask them to talk
your brothers should take the test to happen to us that seem very to your parents too. Talk to your
see if you have been infected. If important to us that time, utterly lose parents separately and make the
nothing else, it will reassure you. their significance over the years. points that each will appreciate. Talk

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 97


in a mature manner. Tell your mother
that you are unwilling to undertake
needs. They are totally legitimate and
other women are sure to understand
QA &
attracted to and you can marry then.
Since you sacrificed your love for
the work that running a home entails you. So get in touch with old friends their sake – whether this was wise of
and do not want to have children so and make time to meet them. Tell your you is debatable – your parents
young. Remind your father that the husband that he has to babysit the should understand and give you
world is changing and that there are kids for some time on holidays and go more time. If they say that 29 is late,
many options open to a woman now. and have a talkfest with old pals. Or remind them that these days women
You should act in a mature ask them to come home. If you cannot often marry after 30 because they are
fashion too and show a serious meet old friends, talk to siblings, busy with their careers till then.
interest in your career and your relatives and colleagues but don’t
desire to achieve something. Be firm. confide your problems regarding your
Your parents cannot force you to husband in them too much. Read, I have been married for three months
marry. watch TV and keep up with your (it was an arranged marriage) and
hobbies, even if you can’t devote much was a virgin when I got married.
time to any of these activities. Try and During these months I have never got
I am a married woman of 34. I have keep positive in your thoughts. Your any pleasure from sex. My husband
two small children and also work as a children will grow up and need your enjoys it and we have sex every day.
teacher in a government school. I attention less soon enough. But for me it means nothing at all. I
work from five in the morning to 10 at feel that I am missing out on an
night doing household work, looking important part of married life and I
after the children and at my job. I am a 29-year-old unmarried woman feel depressed and cheated. What
By the end of the day I feel with a good job. Four years ago I fell should I do?
exhausted and lonely and want to in love with a man from a different A woman is not like a car which
cry. I have no one I can talk to since caste. He too loved me and we will respond to anyone who turns the
my husband is kept very busy by his decided to get married. But neither engine on and drives it. For her, sex
job and my children are very young. I his family nor mine would agree to is as much about emotion and caring
long to pour out my feelings to the marriage and so we decided to as it is physical. So it is not
someone, but alas I have no one. I break up because both of us are uncommon for women to take time to
often feel suicidal. much-loved only children. My respond to their husbands, especially
Is something wrong with me? I boyfriend made me promise that I in arranged marriages when sex
have no real problems and many would get married and said that he comes before friendship and love.
would consider me lucky. But I still would too. There is also the fact that your
want to die. Please help me. Now my parents want me to get husband too may be inexperienced
You are feeling lonely and married and are searching for a and may therefore be unaware of
depressed because you are over- match for me. But I do not want to how to arouse you.
worked and have no one to talk to. marry. My old boyfriend has got Don’t be depressed. Instead, talk
Ideally, it should be your husband married and I remember my promise to your husband frankly and tell him
who understands your feelings and to him, but I still do not want another how you feel. He is probably unaware
is supportive. Try and tell him how Marriage means total commitment of your feelings and your frank talk
much you need to talk to and confide and it is unfair to marry someone if will not just make him aware of the
in him. If he understands, he may you are not ready to make this problem but will also bring you closer.
make some time for you. But if he is commitment. Obviously you have not If he doesn’t know what to do to
too busy or feels that any free time yet got over the man you loved. You arouse you, you can read some sex
he has should be devoted to the need more time and you should books together or even watch sexy
children, you cannot force him to be a explain this to your parents. Hopefully movies. Both of you will soon get the
friend and confidante. you will get over your first love in a message and then you too will enjoy
But don’t be ashamed of your while or meet someone else you are sex.

Click

Yo u r P e r s o n a l A g o n y A u n t O n l i n e Powered by
98 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
CAPITAL
Chit - C h a t
strated profound versatility in playing which its ability to express moods of
SARANGI FUNK the sarangi. Gifted with unques - happiness, vibrant energy, music to
Sarangi – the beautiful Indian tionable qualities of sound, tenor and dance, etc. has unfortunately never
classical musical instrument, with the innumerable variations, the Sarangi been exploited to the full. I admit that
most soulful and heart-wrenching has exceptional adaptability to suit whenever I have heard Kamal Sabri
notes is creating possibilities. Often any genre of music. It covers the live, the first time being an event
associated with music that originated entire gamut of the classical like organised by Indo-French Chamber
at the nautch girls’ kothas or later on dhrupad, dhammar, khayal, thumri, of Commerce and Industry’s Director
the radio to announce three days of dadra, kajri, chaiti, tappa, tirivat, Piya Bajwa, I have been impressed
mourning when a leader died, the tarana, light classicals e.g., bhajan, with his ability to make the Sarangi
Sarangi has never been exploited to ghazal, folk songs and film songs. Of so approachable to the common
be modern, until Kamal Sabri took it late, the sarangi has even dared to people and provide only joy with his
upon himself to reinvent Western venture into jazz, contemporary and music. Now, it is officially modern
music through the sounds of the new-age music and very emphatically too.
Sarangi and call it Sarangi Funk. The made its mark to everybody’s
event was sponsored by the Park
Hotel under their programme called
astonishment and liking. Sarangi
Funk is a bold and innovative attempt
SUMMER MENU NEEDS
cultural festivals by the name of The to introduce and exhibit the untapped TO BE LIGHT
Park’s New Festival and lent support aspect of the Sarangi. This album Come summer and one wants to
to organisations like Delhi Inter - features some delectable spend the least time in a kitchen.
national Arts Festival and Legends of compositions, composed and played However when one eats out it is
India. by the sarangi maestro Kamal Sabri, natural to desire something that looks
The musically gifted Kamal Sabri where he brews new concoctions of complicated and yet is light on taste
is the son of sarangi legend Ustad rhythm, beats and melody. buds and the stomach. Shalom, a
Sabri Khan and is carrying forward The myth that the Sarangi is used successful restaurant in South Delhi
the rich legacy of the Sania gharana just to emote musically sad tones, shows the Mediterranean way of
of Moradabad. Kamal started playing unfortunately has stuck to it. In fact, doing it. Mezze platters and Shish
at a tender age of five years and very this is just one of its aspects, which taouks have become more popular
soon this child prodigy made waves coincidentally has been exposed too than butter chicken even in Delhi!
in the musical world and has demon- much to the public’s ear as a result of Shalom’s new lunch menu has

Kamal Sabri is carrying forward the rich legacy of the Sania gharana. Melon and Prawn salad.

100 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


light, flavoursome preparations that
explore the variety and expanse of
JOYS OF HIGH TEA
Mediterranean cuisine. Shift from the There is something about
usual favourites and discover some monsoon and enjoying
delectable Turkish, Italian, Greek and something to eat with your
North African preparations. Carefully afternoon cup of tea. Officially
chosen and designed by Chef called High Tea, it is almost a
Raymond Wasser, this superb ritual in England and in India we
selection of soups, salads, grills and have adapted it to suit our tastes
desserts is an evolution in your by adding kebabs and pakodas
search for newer mediterranean to it. The venue is often as
tastes. The new menu has many important, located in the inner
additions which promise to add circle of Connaught Place, the
flavour in the main course. From last bastion of English design in
delicious seafood recipes, to New Delhi is Ignis and the world Foreign University Indian Student
interesting grills like the vegetable looks different when you enjoy your
moussaka (this is a flavoursome tea with snacks from there, looking to make their career singularly suc-
vegetarian alternative to the classic out into the life as it passes by in cessful. When the Leeds Metropo -
Greek meat moussaka.) Or the spicy good old CP. litan University with their tie- up with
chickpea and aubergine stew (this is Aromatic Indian tea served in Carnegie Faculty of Sport &
a Lebanese dish, but similar recipes dainty crockery one could choose Education came to India, it was killing
are found all over the Mediterranean) from Darjeeling, green Tea, Earl two birds with one stone. Everybody
spiced vegetable couscous Grey, Golden flowery Pekoe, even knows that India does not encourage
(couscous, a cereal processed from Ceylonese Tea. Making exception for its sportsmen and young ladies who
semolina, is used throughout North the coffee lovers there is an option excel in games. Very often they are
Africa, mostly in Morocco, where it is of that as well. Got a child, or you promised jobs after they have won
served with meat, poultry or don’t want either, the third option is of medals but these promises are never
vegetable stews). Hot Chocolate. Time is limited kept.
For the non-vegetarians there is between 3.30 and 7 in the evening. The Leeds University believes that
the lamb moussaka (although There are dainty cucumber behind every great athlete is a great
moussaka is an Arab word, this dish sandwiches, cakes with creams, coach and they want to ensure that
is made in various parts of the especially made delightful and best sports coaches and coaching
Mediterranean like Greece, Turkey delicious pastries and crumpets and systems are offered to deserving
and Lebanon – the particular classic there are the kebabs and pakodas students. And if the candidate has
Greek version is topped with a rich too. If you are lucky it might even rain merit the scholarship could be totally
bechamel sauce); grill fish with while you enjoy your tea and subsidised education with world-class
orange chilli fish (this dish is a true goodies. But it is better to enjoy the training. They have about 200
fusion of world flavours, its key tea without the monsoon too, rather students and the positive influence of
ingredients originating from Mexico, than giving up on both. sports has been recognised. They
the Mediterranean and south-east wish to invest with India and have
Asia). The desserts section offers
mouth-watering chocolate Salami
FOREIGN UNIVERSITY already been to Pune in 2008.
Current focus is on a Sri Lankan
(this after-meal sweetmeat resembles INDIAN STUDENTS candidate Mike Shahaan, a 19 years
a salami in shape, hence its intriguing Indian students have always old who will be supported 100%
name). Or enjoy a frozen lemon pie. sought foreign education. Our through his training.
The food is delicious and healthy. freedom fighters and leaders are a Leeds is a beautiful city of
Here is one simple recipe that the shining example of what can be 750,000 residents and it is a mix of
chef graciously shared with readers achieved with a foreign education. all nationalities. They showed a film
of Woman’s Era: Now with paucity of colleges for called ‘A Year in the life of Leeds
Ingredients: one honeydew students in Indian cities, those who University’ telling all they do. The
melon (halved, seeded and cubed), can afford it want a foreign University courses for undergraduates comprise
175 grams boiled prawns; 300 ml education. long list of diverse subjects.
mayonnaise, 30 ml tomato puree, To cater to this business Biomedical Sciences to Tourism
15 ml grated lemon rind, 5 ml castor opportunities these universities’ and Entertainment Manage ment;
sugar, lettuce leaves, ground salt and representatives come to India and tell Business studies to Public Health – if
pepper. Simply mix all the ingredients the young students and their parents you don’t know what to do, they will
in mayonnaise base with salt to taste why their children should select their help you find your positive angle as
and enjoy chilled! university to get the best opportunity part of guidance. – Sona Sharma

102 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


ITS RELEVANCE
TO ALLEVIATING
SUFFERING
It boosts the immune
system, provides physical
and mental therapy for
most disorders.
By K. Janakiraman

he notion of suffering as a

T dominating factor in human life


has loomed large in Indian
philosophy. There are three
main types of suffering:
● The bodily and mental
conditions of an individual such as ill
health, disease, and emotions like
hate, fear, passion and so on.
● Suffering imposed by harmful
behaviour of others, animals and
insects.
● Suffering that is caused by acts
of nature like earthquake, accident,
floods, famine and fire.
Science with its tremendous
technological advances can
eventually make for human
happiness. Medicine with its new
remedies for every disease under the
sun and the science of physics
aided by the computer,
with their exploration of
outer space, give the

104 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


impression that man will in the near a state in which the yogi does not
future gain control over the forces of differentiate between victory and
nature. defeat or pleasure and pain – a
The vital question is: can science philosophy that is preached by the
and information technology overcome Bhagavat Gita.
suffering and grief which are states of Constant practice boosts the
mind? Can it help us understand our immune system and provides physical
behaviour, our fears and cravings, and mental therapy for most disorders.
our passions and emotions and This is done by balancing the nervous
generally our outlook on life? and the endocrine systems.
The problem really is not obtaining The science of medicine has
mastery over our surroundings, our recognised the favourable
environment or outer space. It is effects of yoga in the treatment
something much more profound. of stress, tension, all
Peace within and about oneself is stomach-related ailments,
probably the greatest mark of yoga. asthma, diabetes and (with
While the etymology of yoga
shows that it was derived from the
word yuj, meaning union of the body,
mind, emotion and spirit, controlling
and steadying the mind became in
due course the process by which
yoga made this union possible.
The Katopanishad defines yoga
as a “state of steadiness and control a new technique of breathing) obesity corrects all disorders of the thyroid
of the senses, as well as the mind and cellulite. and parathyroid.
and the intellect, which, when ● Balance and coordination are
attained makes an individual Therapies through yoga. achieved through ekapadasana and
completely faultless and ● Asanas of relaxation and bakasana.
unoffending.” Cardinal Newman’s pranayama that adopt abdominal or ● Vertigo is treated by the
definition of a gentleman comes to diaphragmatic breathing treat shanmukhi mudra
our mind in this connection: “A hypertension which is caused mostly One can go on endlessly on the
gentleman is one who does not inflict by shallow breathing. They also maladies that respond more to yoga
pain on others.” sharpen reflexes, memory and than all other therapies including
Human beings since birth till death concentration. allopathy, ayurveda and homoeo -
are supposed to be drowning in the ● Rectus abdomini asanas, like pathy. Suffice it to say that correct
ocean of sorrow. Yoga confers nauli and uddiyana bhanda, uthitha posture and breathing are the
equanimity (unperturbed state under janu sirasasana, suptha pawana cornerstones of yoga that are
all circumstances – the French mukthasana, uthitha lolasana and responsible for the relief one gets
expression being sangfroid ). The acupressure (massaging the from certain ailments.
mindset attains over a period of time, pancreas, duodenum, the large and Psychosomatic disorders like
the small intestine, the liver and the insomnia, depression, mood swings,
kidney through a new technique of anger and anxiety are also treated by
breathing) – these are the exercises specific asanas. Fortitude, endurance
which provide relief from gas, acidity, and flexibility are the by-products of
constipation and sluggish liver. regular practice of yoga.
● Matsyasana ,
the fish pose, is a
sure cure for
bleeding piles.
● Halasana
helps to secrete the
required amount of
insulin from the
pancreas to bring to
normal the blood
sugar level.
● Sarvangasana

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 105


Tranquillity, peace of mind, needs to be incorporated in our daily
equanimity and detachment are life as a culture. The practitioner
some of the main characteristics acquires a new and desirable lifestyle
developed by a yogi over a period of and a capacity to take on life’s
time. The others are vairagya (over- challenges with confidence.
coming desires) and abhyasa (the The modus operandi for achieving
process of steadying the mind). a sound mind in a sound body
Divested of cravings, becoming consists of mental concentration,
unperturbed under all circumstances, relaxation, consciousness and
the yogi starts stifling mental modi- psychological equilibrium.
fications and strives for one-point
approach to life’s challenges. Shanmukhi mudra:
Being at peace with oneself and I shall devote a few lines to
with the world, one launches karma shanmukhi mudra as I consider its
or actions prescribed by the benefits are far-reaching and
Vedantha and other philosophies with extremely relevant in a complex
a view to serving one’s community, world with its bustle, noise and
society and the world at large. activity. Shanmukhi mudra, or closing
Being the science of right living it the seven gates in the face brings

BENEFITS OF PRACTICE
The following are the benefits of Pranayama – Nadi shodhana
constant practice over a period of pranayama – ensures extra supply
time: of oxygen to the body. Carbon
● Revitalisation of the body and dioxide is efficiently expelled and the
the mind blood is purified of toxins.
● Freedom from stress and The brain centres are stimulated
tension to work to their optimum capacity.
● Relief from common disorders Levels of stress and anxiety are
of the physique lowered.
● Perfect conditioning of the All relaxation asanas like
endocrine, digestive, cardio-vascular Vajrasana (a panacea for all stomach about prathyahara (sense withdrawal)
and respiratory systems maladies), shavasana, advasana, shutting out vision, smell and the
● Flexibility, endurance and jyesthikasana and makarasana, environment. I can send to those
muscle tone relieve tension and stress. interested a line drawing of this mudra
● Sharp reflexes, memory and Sirasasana reverses the effect of along with the steps, breathing contra-
concentration gravity on the spine, increases blood indications and benefits.
● Exercise of the skeletal and flow to the brain and the pituitary Suffice it to say that regular practice
smooth muscles of the body and in gland, relieving psychologicalof this mudra confers a sense of
particular the abdominal wall, the disturbances which form the root detachment and freedom from the
pelvis, the trunk, the back and the cause of many disorders. Asthma, bonds of family, friends, ownership and
chest. hay fever, diabetes and menstrual possession. Vertigo, eye, nose and
There are a few practices that ailments are cured. throat infections are cured by regular
can be described as glorious, Sarvangasana provides redress practice of this mudra. The launching
enriching and rewarding: for hormonal and thyroid ailments. sloka in the Vishnusahasranamam is
this: Yatra smarana maathrena janma
samsara bhandanath (bonds of the family) vimusyathe,
vishnawe prabha vishnawe. Shanmukhi mudra, while not
making you a saint, develops a sense of detachment
preached by our scriptures.

CONCLUSION
Yoga’s contribution to the sum total of our happiness
and removal of physical and mental suffering can never be
overemphasised. It is something which should be
experienced to be believed. We

108 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


ROAD RAGE
An understanding of
the rising tide of
vehicular violence.
By Mita Banerjee
few years ago, in New one of them crushed his head with a killed him, had he not ducked in

A
Delhi, Jitendra Pawar, a heavy stone. A friend of Jitendra’s time.”
small-time property dealer, who was passing by, saw him lying In Kolkata, Anil Das, 55, was
became a victim of road on the road. He summoned a police returning home with his wife.
rage when five men constable and rushed him to AIIMS, Because she had just undergone a
brutally beat him following where he was declared dead. surgical procedure, he was crawling
an argument over a minor In Chennai, a young college-going along at a mere 25 kph. It was this
accident. Thirty-five-year- girl was crushed to death when a that saved them, because at the
old Jitendra was returning young man repeatedly ran over her in crossroads a motorcycle came
from Saket Club home to his car. In Pune, cardiologist Dr hurtling down at them at a right
Mehrauli in his Maruti Zen when two Manoj Durairaj was assaulted by angle. The young man riding the two-
youths on a motorcycle reportedly hit three drunk medical students. Accor- wheeler not only began to abuse the
his car near the Lado Sarai T-junction ding to the police, the inebriated trio elderly couple loudly, he also
in South Delhi. This led to a minor were in their car when they picked a followed them home, making
scuffle. Subsequently, three others quarrel while overtaking Dr Durairaj’s threatening gestures all the time.
joined in and started to follow his car. car. According to the investigation These are examples of road rage
They stopped Jitendra and started to police officer, “The trio attacked the which are happening in many other
beat him with a helmet and a doctor with a broken bottle, and places, not just in India, but also
basketball bat and when he fell down, aimed at his neck. This could have around the world. In the USA alone,
more than 1,200 cases are
reported every year, with at
least 300 ending in serious
injuries or fatalities.

What is road rage?


Road rage (also road
violence or aggressive driving)
is the informal name for
deliberately dangerous and
violent behaviour under the
influence of heightened, violent
emotions such as anger and
frustration, involving an
automobile in use. It can
involve deliberately hitting
another person, vehicle or
object with his/her own vehicle
or hitting the person or vehicle
with an item. Getting out of
one’s vehicle to another
person’s vehicle and banging,

110 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


knocking on the windows, and yelling insults, is another
form of road rage. In its extreme, aggressive driving
behaviour can escalate into ‘road rage’ when an angry
driver takes deliberate, violent action against another
motorist. This could even take the form of breaking the
other’s windscreen or window and hitting with an object,
sometimes even with fatal results.
Road rage can happen to anyone. Have you ever
experienced a bad day at office, when you just didn’t feel
like yourself? It could have been triggered by some
serious argument or flare-up with your colleagues or boss.
Then, some jerk makes you angry on your drive home.
These are conditions that are perfect for road rage,
and almost everybody has experienced them. The only
difference between you and a road-rager is how you deal
with these feelings. To protect yourself you have to get
hold of your emotions. The worst thing that you want to
happen is to meet someone who is as angry as you, or
possibly even more possessed by rage.
Psychiatrist Dr Mina Bobdey confirms, “Road rage is
not confined to any age or gender group. Although young
males are more prone to it, surprisingly more and more
young female executives as well are reporting it
nowadays. I was counselling a young lady executive, and
as a part of the therapy, I also went driving with her. I was
taken aback by her aggressive driving and also the anger
that she displayed. When I was in the UK a few years
ago, another patient came to me. She had been a victim
of road rage, and has developed a fear of driving ever
since. With graded exposure and therapy, she got better
and started driving again.”

What causes road rage?


Road rage can be caused by a variety of events,
circumstances, and environments. Environmental
conditions are the main factors associated with road rage.
These conditions can consist of traffic congestion,
another’s dangerous driving habits, the weather (heat,
humidity, etc), noise levels, and time constraints.
Aggressive driving behaviour usually occurs as a result of
heavy traffic, hectic schedules, pressure and daily stress.
An angry or impatient driver may act out his or her
frustrations by driving in a reckless, rude or intimidating
manner – such as speeding, tailgating, weaving in and out
of traffic, making obscene gestures and using the horn
excessively – endangering other motorists or pede strians.
The other two causes of
road rage – intrusive
responses and terri torial
defensiveness – are also
closely related. Intrusive
responses are actions of
retaliation to get back at
another for their careless
driving. Territorial defensive -
ness is the act of defending
one’s personal space (the car)
in response to another
● Do not speed, tailgate or block
the passing lane
● Keep your radio at a
reasonable volume and avoid using
your horn excessively
● Always use your signal when
changing lanes. Do not cut off other
drivers.
● Make your car comfortable by
adjusting the temperature or listening
to soothing music
● When possible, avoid driving in
heavily congested areas and during
individual’s driving. Road rage is a as possible. Take the next turn and rush hour
very serious act; it may be seen as a choose an alternative route to your ● Remember, drivers do make
violation of property rights and an destination. If necessary, pull over mistakes. Do not take driving
endangerment of personal security. and cool off before continuing on your violations personally – and never
Dr Bobdey couldn’t agree more as way. If an enraged driver attempts to retaliate.
she says, “With the pressure of time follow you, there is a good chance that
and performance, there is a sense of the level of violence may increase. Do Remember these safety tips
urgency and we become impatient. not go home. Go straight to the nearest when confronted by an aggressive
We want to achieve a lot more than police detachment and file a complaint. driver or a potential road rage
what we are capable of. As a society incident:
too, we have become intolerant and Are you at the risk of ● Steer clear of the offender
are ignoring our human side. There committing road rage? ● Do not make eye contact or
are a lot more vehicles on the road ● Do you often drive at an even look in the direction of the
as well.” Weather conditions such as excessive speed? aggressor
excessive heat or humidity and high ● Do you weave in and out of ● Do not make obscene gestures
noise levels can also trigger road rage. traffic or cut off other motorists? or swear at other drivers
● Do you tailgate other vehicles ● Stay calm, and focussed and
How can one tackle a situation to force them into another lane of do not react if you are provoked
if one becomes the victim, or if traffic? ● You cannot control traffic or the
one is feeling angry? ● Do you yell at or make obscene behaviour of other drivers; you can
Dr Bobdey advises, “Since it is a gestures to other drivers? only control your own responses
sign of stress, look at your lifestyle ● Do you use your horn ● If you are a victim of violent
and take active steps to change it. excessively or blare your radio? road rage, drive to a safe place and
More fluids, regular food, physical ● Do you drive on the shoulders notify the police immediately. We
and mental exercise, regular relaxing of the road to avoid traffic and pass
exercise and family time can help other cars?
reduce stress and produce a calmer ● Do you block the passing lane Winners of
frame of mind.” If you are an innocent or purposely try to prevent drivers Jewellery Quiz Contest - 3
victim of road rage, you must protect from moving into your lane?
yourself. Do not make eye contact
with an angry driver, as an angry look Follow these guidelines to
may increase the level of rage. Get prevent aggressive driving and
away from an angry driver as quickly road rage:
● Before
driving, set aside
your stress, anger
and worries and
make safe driving
your priority
● Plan ahead
and allow enough
time for your trip Mamta Gupta
● Be courteous M-133, Greater Kailash
and obey the rules Part-II, New Delhi.
Pin: 110 048
of the road

112 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


DBS Q U I Z
Tear this page along the perforated line and send it to the under mentioned address. Winner will be announced in the October issue.

Q1 When you hear his or her name


what do you do?
a. I immediately interrogate the person who
spoke it
b. Nothing
c. My heart beats fast and I smile to myself
d. I get mad at myself for thinking of him

Q
2
Do you know his or her middle name?
a. I did at one point
b. Yeah, but I had to ask his/her brother or
friend for it

?
c. Of course! I know every little detail about him!
d. No! I don’t care!

WHAT’S GOING ON
BETWEEN
Answer
YOU AND HIM/HER
&
the questions win a
grand prize... Are you confused as to
what to do with a certain
someone that either broke your
heart, you simply didn’t get along
so ended a relationship.
3
lucky
winners will S elected entries will be published in the
forthcoming issue of Woman’s era. Look out
get the for the 30 September 2009 issue
book
Last date for sending entries: 15 September 2009
Attach a photograph of your friend for a better
chance of featuring in Woman’s era
Valued M.R.P Rs 1405

DELHI BOOK STORE


19-Ansari Road, Darya Ganj, New Delhi.
For on line shopping: www.delhibookstore.com

QS hort
uiz

Win a prize
e-mail: sales@delhibookstore.com
Books at discounted price. Free postage world wide
Q
3
What’s his or her favourite colour?
a.
b.
c.
Green, at least it used to be
I don’t know! I’ve never known!
Um... I used to know
Q
7
Have you two dated before?
a. Nah... thought about it, but it never
seemed to make any sense... we’re
so different
d. Well, last week it was green but b. Yeah, once, though we decided it
he/she decided they like yellow better better to stop
c. No! wish! He keeps saying that he isn’t
If so, how did it end? ready for a real relationship!

Q4 a. He/she was the worst


boyfriend/girlfriend I’ve ever had!
b. We mutually agreed it was for the better
d. Yeah... never again

c. It’s kind of hard for something to end


that never happened
d. It never happened!
Q
8
How did you two meet?
a. In my dreams!
b. Not too long ago, we had like one class
together in sixth grade
c. Our friends hooked us up and the break

Q
5
How often do you talk to each other?
a. Maybe once a month
b. Every now and then, we keep in touch,
though I wouldn’t mind if we talked more
up was pretty messy
d. We both play the same sport, or are part
of the same organisation

c. Well, I talk to him/her all the time, he/she

Q
doesn’t talk to me often though If you could be with any person in
d. Never, haven’t in a long time
9 the world would it be him/her?
a. Umm... not necessarily, he/she’d be nice,

Q
6
Do you know his or her friends?
a. Some of them, we’ve grown apart
b. Oh yeah, I know everyone he’s/she’s
ever spoken to
but there are plenty of fish in the pond
b. Probably
c. No! Never again! If he/she asked me out
I’d smack him/her for having that kind of
c. No, I try to stay as far away from nerve!
them as possible d. Yes! I’ve loved him/her since the moment
d. Yeah, we were all good friends in junior high school I set eyes on him/her

Prove that you are aware of this trivia.


Scoring Terms and Conditions: Send us the coupon with your photo along
Don’t you hate those artificial quizzes that with the correct answers.
only have one obvious right answer? Since we don’t know
about your personal life, these questions could work out, Name
depending on one’s personality and interactions. And you Age
could probably come up with better answers! Address

Winners of DBS Quiz Contest - 57 Phone:


PIN
E-mail
Occupation

Don’t forget to attach a photograph


1. Mark the answers and send us the cutting of this
quiz along with this coupon. The last date is
15 September 2009. So hurry up and post it now.
Jaspreet Kaur Sneh Lata Dr Shabina Sachdeva 2. The decision of the editor will be final. 3. Depict
83-Basant Vihar 723, Model Town 1312, Urban Estate, your true self only. 4. Send a photograph of your
Ludhiana Extension, Dugri Road, Phase-I, Jalandhar,
Pin: 141008 Hotel Grand, Pin: 144 022 own. It may be printed in Woman’s Era, along with
Marian Lane, the results. Send to: Woman’s Era, Delhi Press,
Ludhiana E-3, Jhandewala, New Delhi-110 055.
Pin: 141 002
MUMBAI Merry-Go-Round
Sudha Hariharan

DOCTORS’ DAY OUT FOR A CLEANER AND municipal commissioner Jairaj


Phatak. A huge gathering of children
The launch of the Journal of GREENER MUMBAI from various schools and colleges in
Gynaecological and Endoscopic Mumbai may soon see two lakh the city, representatives from the
Surgery (JGES) at the Mayfair trees taking root and thriving to Army, Navy, Air Force, Western
Rooms was a classy affair. Doing the provide much-needed green cover, Railway, Central Railway, Port Trust,
honours were Nawab Malik and Anil thanks to Nana Chudasama’s I Love and leading citizens of Mumbai and
Deshmukh. The journal was Mumbai and the yearly tree representatives from NGOs took an
launched under the aegis of the The distribution drive. The event aimed at active and enthusiastic part in the
Indian Association of Gynaecological distributing and planting tree saplings drive.
Endoscopists ( IAGE) headed by Dr to make a cleaner and greener Different saplings of neem, ashok,
Hrishikesh Pai while the managing Mumbai, was kick-started by rain tree, pentaforum, gulmohar,
editor for the journal is Dr Prakash Bollywood actress Vidya Balan and cassia and tulsi were distributed from
Trivedi. across 26 centres. The saplings were
Dr Rishma Pai and Dr Nandita Vidya Balan and Shaina NC at the sapling also made available at select LOOP
distribution drive by I Love Mumbai.
Palshetkar let their hair down on the mobile galleries for easy access
dance floor and giving them company by people.
was Ananya Banerjee. Ashish Shelar On the occasion, Nana
and Viren Shah were engaged in a Chudasama said, “We have been
serious discussion right through the doing the free sapling distribution
evening. Rohini Salian and for over a decade now. However,
Madhusudan Kumar were among the with each passing year, I have
early birds and so was artist Vipta seen more trees getting cut and
Kapadia. more buildings coming up and
Actor Vikrum Kumar, with it more problems being faced
accompanied by director Arshad, was by Mumbaikars . My concern is
overheard discussing his lead role in that we need more trees to retain
the forthcoming flick Trump Card . the ecological balance and also to
Also spotted were Sanjay Khanduri make the city look beautiful.
and comedian Raju Nigam who “This year, we have decided to
sported a bandana and was at his go beyond our regular efforts and
humorous best right through the expand our tree coverage while
evening. distributing two lakh saplings. I
hope to see Mumbai back as the
beautiful, green and clean Mumbai
that it once was.”

A 8-YEAR-OLD’S FIRST
SOLO ART EXHIBITION
Paintings have always remained
the most wonderful way of
expressing one’s emotions. Eight-
year-old Dev Mehta recently held his
first solo art exhibition at Ravindra
Nathya Mandir. With an inherent
talent for drawing and painting, he
has been painting on canvas and
Dr Hrishikesh Pai at Launch
of JGES.
paper since November 2007. The
journey started when his mother,
Rupal Mehta, spotted his talent when
he first started painting on his home
walls at the tender age of three
years. As years went by his amateur
doodling transformed into
masterstrokes. One thing was clear –
Dev had all the makings of being a
good painter.

UPASNA KAMINENI
Touching lives – a powerful,
dynamic and expressive statement –
this is what Dr Prathap C Reddy
(founder-chairman Apollo Hospitals
Group) instilled in the Apollo family.
When sons were considered
assets and daughters a burden, Dr
Reddy decided to change the trend. people are what she mostly providing basic elements like water,
He was blessed with four daughters concentrates on. sunscreen, etc. to prevent major
(no sons) and turned them into “the As vice-president of Apollo illnesses. Sunscreen for protection
fantastic 4” – Preetha, Suneeta, Charities, Upasna has supported a and prevention of skin cancer, and
Shobana and Sangita. Together, they lot of people through initiatives such awareness camps to educate people
started a “medical empire” (hospitals, as SACH (Save a Child’s Heart) on basics of a healthy lifestyle like
clinics, insurance company, Foundation, SAHI - for the hearing drinking at least a litre of water every
pharmacies, education and research impaired, and CURE - for cancer. day.
centres, wellness gyms, alternate Besides, she has been involved in Her compassion for animals has
medical and many more). the tsunami relief activities, has led her to become associated with an
Upasna Kamineni ( 22), Dr helped initiate screening camps in NGO called Blue Cross. She has
Reddy’s granddaughter, chose to villages, donated to the Bihar Flood adopted six donkeys and three
take the compassion and love Relief Fund and done many more. horses while an elephant is soon
component of the business, and the Another dynamic move was the going to be added and Upasana
concept of touching lives, to another concept of “reaching you before takes great care of them. A firm
level. Inspired by her grandmother, emergencies do”. This gave rise to believer of a healthy environment to
she realised that true happiness is in “Project Hydrate”. Project Hydrate is sustain good health, the family
sharing and giving. the launch of B+ve’s (a health and intends to open an Eco Park and
Making a difference to society and lifestyle magazine) product line. This Night Safari in Hyderabad spanning
building health awareness amongst product line concentrates on 112 acres. We
boredom. The score of Yatish
R. S. Prakash

warrants mention. The screenplay is


full of frills and thrills, but somehow
proves to be unimpressive as the
spark seems to be missing!

‘G’ company which made Silanthi


(the first movie to be made in digital
format) has now made Swetha which
is again a romantic thriller. Harish
who is the debutant hero, is actually
a bike racer. The new, Bangalore-
Mysore highway, called as the Nice
Road plays a vital role in the film as
an important stunt sequence
involving about 20 racer-bikes, has
been shot there. The rent for hiring a
racer-bike for a day is about Rs
15,000, we are informed! Keerthi
Chawla, who has appeared only in
US soil. The film was also a prized homely roles so far, has switched to
entry at the 7th Annual Golden State glamour through this flick which is
Film Festival, early this year. A well- being written and directed by Sanjay,
made thriller, this is with a strong Shiv, a model is being introduced as
social message. a villain.

LARGELY based on the Demi Moore JAMES Vasanthan, the television


starrer, Disclosure Indra Vizha personality-turned-film composer who
features Namitha in the lead role as stunned the audience with his
the seductress who would stop at melodious scores in
nothing to achieve what she desires. Subramaniyapuram is back in the
DEBUTANT director I. Ahmed, a Srikanth makes a comeback as the reckoning with Yadhumaagi which
former understudy of film-maker hero and he shares a good on-screen has mostly newcomers in the lead
Kadir has certainly come up chemistry with Hemamalini his co- roles. R. Balakumar is the writer-
triumphs. He has blended romance star, a debutant Nazzer as a director while Mohammed Nazir is
and action in the right proportion multimillionaire with a young and the cinematographer.
peppering it with some mystery in this ambitious wife looks unnatural, right
flick. Vaamanan. Jai, Priya, Rahman, through. Vivek’s antics are good but P. P. G. ENTERPRISES Vaigai
Lakshmirai, Sampath, Urvasi, after a point, he begins to cause which features two newcomers Bala
Santhanam, Rohini are in the cast.
From his debut film Chennai-600028
Jai, a look-alike of actor Vijay has
been shaping himself well and
Vaamanam could take him further up.
Newcomer Priya looks passable but
nothing more. Yuvan is the scorer,
his music is a total let-down this time!

ARUN Vaidyanathan based in the US


has come up with Achamundu
Achamundu a well-made flick that
has been in circulation across several
international film festivals for quite
some time now. The film showcases
a minimal main cast with Prasanna
and Sneha in the lead roles. John
Shea, an American, plays the villain.
The entire film has been shot on the
and Visaka in the lead roles in a
gripping tale of love set against a
rural backdrop, as the theme is said
to be based on a real-life story. The
characters look so real without being
cinematic. The narration is linear but
the screenplay has enough twists in
the second half. The climax could
have been cinematic which would
have ensured a happy ending.
Malayalam actor Sai kumar is very
good as the hero’s father. The music
of Sabesh and Murali is appealing.

VINAY, who made his debut with late


Jeeva’s Unnale Unnale followed it
with yet another hit, Jayam Kondan
Modhi Vilayattu his third which has
all the trappings of a hit. The film has hailed as the colonial cousins. as the hero, Ajaz has also assumed
added attraction that enhances the Produced by Metro Films (P) Ltd, and responsibility for the story,
appeal, is the musical score of Gemini Industries and Imaging (P) screenplay, dialogue and direction.
Hariharan and Lesle, affectionately Ltd, the film is a racy thriller blended
with the right doses of romance and NINAITHALE Innikkum was the title
music. Saran, who is currently busy of veteran film-maker K.
with Ajith’s Asal , has written and Balachander’s musical extravaganza
directed Modhi Vilayaadu which of the mid seventies. After nearly 30
never has a dull moment! years, yet another entertainer has
been made that carries the same title
G-ANTS Software Solutions (P) Ltd, Ninaithale Innikkum which means
is one such software biggie that has recollection of sweet memories!
Ventured into film production. The Interestingly, the film is a remake of
banner has just entered filmdom the Malayalam film Classmates, one
launching its first movie Vizhiyil of the biggest hits of Mollywood.
Vizhumdaval under the banner G- Prithviraj who is equally popular both
ants productions. Ajaz a newcomer, in Malayalam as well as in Tamil is
is being introduced as the lead man the lead man and the National award
of the film while Shilpa and Anaka winner Priya Mani is in the female
are both the leading ladies, also lead. K. Bhagyaraj is playing cameo
freshers. Besides facing the camera in the film.

ARUN Vijay, the most talented


among the contemporary heroes, has
never been able to make it really big
even though he has done a good
number of memorable roles. Well,
Malai Malai his latest, that has been
produced by Feather Touch
Entertainments has proved to be a
big break for him. Vedika is his pair in
this flick which also has Kasthuri in
an important role. Vijayakumar,
Kadhal Dhandapani, OAK Sundar,
Raiz Khan and many others are in
the cast. Mani Sharma has scored
some foot-tapping numbers. A.
Venkatesh has assumed
responsibility for the racy script and
direction. We
TAMIL STARS S P E A K !
R. Prakash

SOUTH BOUND AGAIN?


aunched as Harin i in director she has managed to replace Rani

L Shankar’s Boys , Genelia


d’Souza, who sported her own
name yet in another Tamil flick
Mukherji and Preity Zinta as brand
ambassadors for a couple of
commodities.
Sachin; opposite Vijay, did not The lass in her early twenties, has
exactly have a head start in of course been lucky with respect to
Kollywood. While the latter proved a her Bollywood innings. Following a
disaster at the box office, the former disastrous debut there, she staged a
ran into rough weather owing to its dramatic comeback after a couple of
adult theme involving young, years with Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
impressionable minds. But Genelia (JTYJN), which established her there
was certainly better off at Tollywood again as a youth icon.
as she successfully did girl-next-door Genelia has three Hindi films in
roles in number of Telugu flicks, the her Kitty at the moment. It My Life,
best of them being Bommarilu. Life Partner, Hook Ya Crook . She
As far as “ Bommarilu is could be soon signing for another big
concerned, Genelia is a record – project.
holder ‘I played Hasini in Bommarily Krishna Vamsi’s Sasirekha
(Telugu) and Santosh Subramaniam Parinayam was her recent film in
(Tamil) and now I am playing Pooja Telugu in which she played the role
Saxena in the Hindi version titled It’s of a woman fighting against dowry,
my Life opposite Harman Baweja sans any make-up. She is expected
which is being directed by Aneez to do another Telugu film Katha this
Bazmaa,” says Genelia who was at year.
Chennai recently in connection with “I am very proud of my south
the endorsement of a soft drink. endorsements, a record number Indian films which enabled me to
Thanks to the chain of girl-next- according to a source from the ad hone, my skills. I am looking forward
door image that has worked out in world. for good roles in Tamil films too,” She
her favour that now she is constantly The cute-looking damsel can says. Should one read between the
bombarded with offers of certainly take pride of the fact that lines?

EXPLORING NEW TERRAIN IN TAMIL CINEMA!


ossibly, Sathyam Cinema in introduced Digital Projection (RDX) have now collaborated to produce

P Chennai hottest destination on


an average, at any time of the
year, it records an amazing
in its screens which has been
powered by Qube from Real Image
Media Technologies, which is the
their first feature film in Tamil, titled
Thiru Thiru Thuru Thuru – being
directed by the first-time (female)
percentage of occupancy as high as country’s leading provider of film-maker Nandhini J. S. It will be
70! Through its six-screens, that technology in the film video and the first Tamil film to have an all-
which could be rated the highest in audio domains. The company has digital release in the country as well
the country. Also, Sathyam Cinema, also pioneered several technology as abroad. The movie, which will be
located in the heart of Chennai is one revolutions over the past two released in Telugu too, is shot on
among the first in Chennai and decades. Red One Camera and post-produced
possibly in the country too to Sathyam Cinema and real Image in 4K Resolution Digital Colour
grading which will be of behavioral attitudes, the duo get
executed on Digital drawn to each other, as they always
Vision’s film master, the say-opposites attract each other-
first Indian film to be done while the audience are
on this system. entertained also with non-stop
J. S. Nandhini, the humour.
debutante director is a A DFF gold medal winner,
gold medallist from the Sudhir Choudhary is
Film and Television cranking the camera.
Institute of Tamil Nadu. Veteran film-maker and actor
As early as in 2003 did Mouli plays an interesting
she draw the attention of character role in the film which is
the film fraternity by projected to an entirely new
bagging the state award dimension, according to a unit
for her short film, Ottam . hand. With the shooting
She has also assisted director schedules having drawn
Priya V for the Tamil movie Kanda to a close the post-
Naal Mudhal. production work is on.
Rupa, a fresher from Bangalore The audio of the film
who is model hailing from Tamil Nadu is soon to be
is the heroine and Ajmal of Anjadhe launched following
fame is her pair. which the film too will
Characterised by contrasting traits hit the screen.
THE ‘GLAM’ ROUTE TO SUCCESS!
lam dolls from Kerala have a couple of Kannada and Malayalam with director Sami and what

G always managed to make it


big on the Kollywood screen
and even further up the country’s
assignments. She doesn’t subscribe
to the comment that she was out of
circulation in Tamil for the past
happened on the sets of his earlier
film is no concern of mine. More so, it
has absolutely no relevance to this
map, that too quite successfully! couple of years. “I should point out project and the present schedules,
Asin, Nayanthara, so on and so forth. that I have evolved over the past four she elaborates.
Sridevika who is basically from years. I am now staging a comeback When quizzed about her character
Kerala is the latest to join the troupe into Tamil films as the offers that in Gnabagamgal Sridevika’s face
she is quite fluent in Tamil language came along my way were lucrative”, brightened up. “The film’s script has
and she accounts for it thoughts her she declares. enough potential for me to record and
base at Palakkad. A re-entry into Tamil films that too register my acting skills. I simply fell
After, a couple of assignments in a project with director Sami who in love with the story, especially my
that really did not matter much, the got into problems with Padmapriya character ever since Jeevan, the
demure girl is highly hopeful of a and even reportedly slapped her for director, narrated it to me. It is
solid second innings in Tamil and the non-cooperation. basically a tale of love and I play a
two noteworthy projects with which I am aware of the incident that North Indian girl born and brought up
she is associated are Sarithiram occurred during the shoot of here at Chennai.”
written and directed by Sami of Uyir Mirugam, she smiles meaningfully. ‘I About working with Pa. Vijay, the
and Mirugam, both of which created agreed to do this film because I liked lyricist-turned-actor she says, ‘It was
a big sensation for the most unlikely the narration and my character. The fun working with him as he is a very
of reasons, and of course, subject is period – bound and the jovial person and I never felt, I was
Gnabagamgal with lyricist Pa. Vijay story takes place between the sixties working with a new face though he
as the lead man. and eighties. is a senior in the capacity of a
Sridevika was actually busy with I am quite comfortable working lyricist’!

that he was extremely


A GRAND GALA EPIC! excited to work in a film,
the script of which has
ri M. Karunanidhi, the chief Kongu region of Tamil been penned by the

S minister of the state of Tamil


Nadu, had penned a novel,
Poonar-Shankar , in the late
Nadu, says a unit hand.
The novel that was
penned by Sri M.
great writer that the
C.M. is.
Prasanth, who has
seventies, the theme of which was Karunanidhi, was also been passing through a
set against a historic backdrop. serialised in the Tamil bad phase in his
Actor Thiagarajan is now making weekly Kungumam personal life, is all set
that novel into a movie that has been years ago. to tide over all his
planned as a big-budget The film was formally setbacks by riding over
extravaganza. The movie script flagged off by the C. M. and in a double role in this prestigious
spans three generations of princes according to Thiagarajan who is project!
and warriors and has four major producing and directing the film The pre-production work for this
battle sequences including one shot nearly, 60 per cent of the film would flick has been on for almost a year
under water. Napolean who is make use of graphics. and some massive sets include
presently a part of the Union Ministry While speaking about the film, Sri ancient townships with temples, lakes
sought and got the permission from M. Karunanidhi said that the period palaces and forts. Looks like it will be
the Prime Minister to act in this. venture will provide a good a case of double delight for actor
Actor Prasanth, son of actor-cum- opportunity for Prasanth to prove his Prasanth who is truly talented, but
film-maker Thiagarajan is playing a potential as a thorough professional. somehow success has not been on
dual role as Ponnar and Shankar in Also, I am sure Thiagarajan will look his side for quite a while. Hope the
the film which has Sathyaraj, upon Prasanth as an actor and not wind of fortune and fame changes its
Rajkiran, Prakashraj, Vijayakumar, as his son alone, on the sets! course in favour of young actor.
Manorama, Vadivelu and many He also mentioned about the From what one hears from the
others. success of Jeans in which Prasanth unit, the project which is a period epic
The story is about two warrior had played a dual role. is going to be punctuated by glitz and
brothers who were legends in the For his part, Prasanth enthused grandeur. We
VIRAL HEPATITIS
When your eyes or
urine is yellow,
consult your doctor.
By Rachna Pande

causing further derangement of the


liver function. There can be swelling
all over the body including the
stomach, due to retention of water
and salt. The person may have
vomiting of blood or pass blood in
stools. With further damage to liver
cells, liver failure sets in, which is
invariably fatal. Kidney failure can
also occur thus causing the patient
to die due to many causes.

COMPLICATIONS
Cancer of the liver is a long-term
complication of cirrhosis which can
occur if the patient survives the
extensive injury of the liver cells.
The liver is a vital organ of the
he outbreak of hepatitis B in Viral hepatitis is a chronic affliction body. Proteins, factors needed for

T
Gujarat is worrying news. of the liver by viruses which are of clotting of the blood and glucose are
One of the most prosperous five types, A, B, C, D and E. produced in the liver. It also helps in
states of India is hit by an Technically speaking, hepatitis the metabolism of fats and many
other wise preventable dis - means inflammation of liver cells and other substances. Therefore, damage
ease. The reason may be if that is caused by a virus then it is a to the liver leads to derangement in
carelessness or sheer viral hepatitis. The illness is many functions of the body.
callousness by the health manifested by jaundice (yellow With the pandemic of AIDS
personnel concerned, but a discolouration of eyes) which is a worldwide, it is important to know
large number of people have characteristic sign of affliction of the about viral hepatitis, because, except
been affected. It also affects the liver. The patient also has complaints for hepatitis A and E, all other types
productivity of the individuals and of passing yellow urine. There is also of hepatitis are caused by the same
society. If India has to become a loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, behaviour pattern and risk factors as
developed country by all means, it low-grade fever, malaise, etc. in AIDS. Sexual promiscuity, pricks by
has to improve its health sector and varying degrees. At times there may unsterlised needles and razors,
control preventable diseases. Greater be obstruction to the flow of bile due accidental contamination with blood,
awareness needs to be generated to the swelling of liver cells which all these are the underlying causes
among the masses regarding the causes intense itching. for hepatitis as well as AIDS. The
preventable diseases, so that there As the disease progresses, there presence of one facilitates the
can be active participation of the is further damage to liver cells, acquisition of the other. In fact, in a
public in the prevention of leading to cirrhosis, where the liver conservative society like India’s, viral
preventable illnesses. tissue is replaced by fibrous tissue, hepatitis and AIDS are both said to

116 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


spread more due to the reuse Once part of the liver is
of disposable syringes and the injured, complications
use of contaminated needles invariably follow in more or
by drug addicts, rather than by less extent. Sometimes,
sexual promiscuity. The the patient may apparently
outbreak in Gujarat is said to recover after the attack but
be due to the reuse of complication like chronic
disposable syringes. If a follow- hepatitis may develop after
up of these cases is done after many years. Preventive
three and six months, some of vaccines are currently
them may have acquired the available only for hepatitis
HIV infection also. A and B infections.

VARIETIES OF PREVENTION
HEPATITIS Therefore, it is prudent
Hepatitis A is acquired by the to prevent the disease.
ingestion of food or water established by serological tests. Good food hygiene, if maintained
contaminated with the faeces of an Once diagnosis is confirmed, anti- while cooking, serving and eating
infected person. Outbreaks can occur viral drugs can be used, but are ,minimises the chances of infection
due to contaminated water. The useful only when used early, ideally with hepatitis A and E.
illness caused is benign and good within two to three days of illness. Avoiding promiscuous and
recovery mostly occurs, though at Other drugs used for treatment only premarital sex is a good measure to
times, if there is extensive liver cell provide some palliative relief, but do avoid viral hepatitis B, C and D. One
injury, it can lead to acute liver little to minimise the damage done. should be cautious while taking a
failure. Hepatitis B and C are spread hair-cut, massage, pedicure or
by the use of contaminated syringes manicure because, the use of
and needles and also through sexual
IF THERE IS EXTENSIVE contaminated tools in these settings
intercourse. Hepatitis D or delta virus LIVER CELL INJURY, is yet another risk factor acquiring
is acquired by the same routes as viral hepatitis. Unless needed
Hepatitis B and can coexist or
IT CAN LEAD TO ACUTE strongly, any kind of injection or prick
replicate only in the presence of the LIVER FAILURE. should be avoided.
hepatitis B virus. A person suffering
from both hepatitis B and D infections
HEPATITIS B AND C ARE If some injection is at all
necessary a person needs to be
is at the risk of developing a more SPREAD BY THE USE OF prudent to see that a fresh
serious form of disease. The hepatitis
E infection occurs by the faeco-oral
CONTAMINATED disposable syringe and needle is
used. Vaccination is available for
route like Hepatitis A but tends to SYRINGES AND hepatitis A and B. If someone is a
cause a more severe and chronic
form of liver disease.
NEEDLES AND ALSO high-risk case like food handlers,
health-care personnel, etc, one can
Use of hepato-toxic substances THROUGH SEXUAL take the vaccination in advance for
(those that damage the liver) like
alcohol make one more prone
INTERCOURSE. protection. Vaccine taken as per
schedule provides lifelong
to severe illnesses due to immunity unless one has a
hepatitis. Early and more debilitating illness. If there is
severe complications are also someone in the family suffering
likely to develop in those from hepatitis, particularly B,
persons who are exposed to vaccination is done for all
other toxins inflicting damage nursing the patient physically.
to liver cells. Certain drugs One should be careful lest
used for pain like NSAIDS unknowingly because of
(non- steroidal anti- ignorance, the hepatitis virus
inflammatory drugs like enter the body. At any sign of
Ibuprofen and diclofenac), yellow discolouration of the eyes
paracetamol, antibiotics like or urine, it is advisable to seek
erythromycin also cause liver medical treatment at the earliest
damage. to prevent long-term complica-
Diagnosis of hepatitis is tions of hepatitis. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 117


KABINI
THE PERFECT GETAWAY FOR
NATURE LOVERS
i, my name is Barry Smith. I

H
am an MCA student in
Bangalore. I visited Kabini
last December along with
3 college friends, and would
A short like to share some of my
experiences with you. The
holiday amidst a Kabini Wildlife Sanctuary,
wealth of wildlife. situated in Karapur village
in Karnataka, is a quaint
By Barry Smith little paradise on the banks of the
River Kabini, a pristine area that
abounds with nature and wildlife.
Kabini is an additional treasure in
South India’s wildlife sanctuary
attraction; also in the region are
Nagarhole National Park and
Bandipur National Park (Karnataka),
Madhumalai Wildlife Sanctuary
(Tamil Nadu), and Wyanad Wildlife
Sanctuary (Kerala), the four
protected areas that constitute India’s
first biosphere reserve called the
Nilgiri Biosphere Reserve. Kabini is
very close to Nagarhole National
Park, lying cosily in its southern
periphery.
Our first sight of Kabini Wildlife
Sanctuary was breathtaking. Spread
over an area of 55 acres of forest and
river, it is surrounded on three sides

118 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


by the bend of the River Kabini, Kabini, the huge, 2,284-ft Kabini Dam of Kabini is the convergence of
giving it a paradise-like look. Flashes impounds its water within its massive wildlife and birdlife on its banks. A
of blue water are interwoven in a 19.52 tmcft structure. The guide, who we were told was a
layer of rich deciduous forests with backwaters of the Kabini Dam are qualified and experienced naturalist,
darting sun-rays filtering through the teeming with wildlife especially in was attached to our group on all 3
trees and reflecting on the water; this, summer when the water level days of our stay in Kabini, not only
in addition to a mystical orange hue withdraws to form rich grasslands. to identify the birds and animals
that emanates from the trees (mainly With our minds still reeling from sighted, but also to provide
teak, rosewood, sandalwood and the delights that awaited our interesting peculiarities and other
bamboo), lends a mind-boggling, exploration, another pleasant titbits about them.
kaleidoscopic effect to the scenario. surprise awaited us: the Kabini River
Adding the finishing touch to the Lodge, the place where tourists stay
scene are images of animals and while at Kabini, is simply marvelous. ANIMAL SIGHTED
birds roaming wild and free in their Its varied accommodation offers The first animal that we saw
natural habitat. It is no wonder 2 colonial style blocks of 7 bedrooms during our Jeep safari (and later saw
therefore, that Kabini Wildlife each; 6 twin-bed cottages regularly in most areas) was the
Sanctuary has been listed as one of overlooking the River Kabini; and 5 Asiatic wild elephant. Just as
the top 5 wildlife resorts in the world spacious tents also overlooking lodge Ranthambore National Park is
by the respected British travel of the erstwhile Maharaja of Mysore, renowned as India’s premier tiger
magazine, Tatler’s Travel Guide. Krishna Rajendra Wodeyar. Later, it wildlife resort, Kabini is the country’s
The River Kabini, reputed to be was used as their Viceregal Lodge by top elephant wildlife resort, so much
the most feminine of South Indian the British, in which their Viceroys and so that it is said: “Elephants are the
rivers due to its calm flow, originates visiting foreign dignitaries were rulers at Kabini.” The large number
in Wayanad (Kerala) from the area entertained. Kabini River Lodge is of elephants present here is due to
where the Panamaram and presently run by Jungle Lodges and Kabini having been the centre of the
Mananthavady rivers merge and flow Resorts under the tourism department kheddah practice (rounding up wild
eastward, passing through Kabini to of the Government of Karnataka. elephants for domestication), a
join the Kaveri River at Tirumakudal We experienced the jeep safari on practice that was banned by the
Naraispur in Karnataka, which the first day. The safari trail, naturally, government in 1971. We saw a herd
eventually empties into Bay of lays along the banks of the River of at least 50 elephants bathing or
Bengal. As the river flows through Kabini because the greatest attraction drinking from the river.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 119


Our first sight of
Kabini Wildlife
Sanctuary was
breathtaking. Spread
over an area of 55
acres of forest and
river, it is surrounded
on three sides by the
bend of the River
Kabini, giving it a
paradise-like look.

very hard to get a their ears for a certain period, and


glimpse of these during that time they do not eat well
reclusive creatures. and tend to behave very erratically.
We also saw a large Dining at the Kabini River Lodge’s
number of birds during unique “Gol Ghar” was an experience
that first day of our Jeep we will never forget. It is a circular,
safari. While large flocks open side gazebo overlooking the
of birds swept across the Kabini River and is well supported by
sky in timeless motion, a fine restaurant offering a wide array
some were perched on of mouth-watering Indian, Chinese
tree branches. Our guide identified and continental food, in addition to a
We were delighted to see how them as the large egret, racket-railed well-stocked bar. In between, visitors
they collected water in their trunks drongo, fairy bluebird, Malabar have the option to view wildlife
and splashed it on their bodies, their trogon, crested serpent eagle, movies that are continuously shown
trumpeting cries echoing mightily all osprey, scarlet minivet and white- during the evening in a spacious
around us. Our guide explained that breasted kingfisher. We particularly audio-visual hall.
elephants have a priceless ecological like the golden-beacked wood -
impact as they not only tone down peckers that were tapping on trees
the harsh and extreme habitat by and branches with their sharp beaks, THE SECOND DAY
converting savannah and woodlands searching for insects to feed on. The highlight of the second day
into grasslands, but they also make A strange incident occurred as we was the coracle boat ride and motor
water available for other birds and were on our way back to the Lodge. boat ride. A coracle is a small,
animals in two ways: they dig water An elephant suddenly broke through rounded boat made of animal hide
holes in dry river beds, and the deep the dense foliage some distance stretched over a wicker frame. Our
depressions formed by their away along the trail and came coracle could accommodate only
heavy footprints and bodies trap charging towards our jeep. We were 4 persons (the exact number in my
rainfall. petrified with fear, more so when our group) and the boatman. During the
driver stopped the Jeep. As we half-hour ride (a large circular route)
watched with horrified eyes, the we were more concerned about
A HERD OF ANTELOPES elephant came on relentlessly and staying afloat (expecting the frail craft
We next saw a small herd of when nearly on us, suddenly stopped to capsise at any moment) and
antelopes grazing on the lush in a flurry of dust and veered away, hoping that the silently gliding,
greenery. As soon as they saw us, vanishing into the thick greenery. As menacing-looking crocodiles would
they veered away, jumping over we strove to calm our wildly not attack us. We were fortunate on
bushes in languid grace. We also palpitating hearts, the guide calmly both counts: our boatman was very
saw a tigress basking in the sunlight explained that such incidents were skilled, and the crocodiles seemed
with 4 cubs frolicking around her — a not uncommon because, at certain more interested in the small herd of
sight we were fortunate to see, times of the year, male elephants elephants on the river bank, glaring
according to our guide, because it is secrete a fluid through an orifice near angrily at their antics, while their

120 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


several turtles moving along
unhurriedly, and a few spot billed
ducks quacking and waddling around
imperiously.
The three days spent in Kabini
marked a memorable period in my
life. My friends and I appreciated that
the sighting of wildlife in our
ecosystem creates awareness and
respect among humans towards
other life forms that also inhabit our
planet. In particular, the large number
of elephants we saw made us realise
the urgent need to conserve these
magnificent animals. We have all
come across increasing incidents of
elephant poaching, some blatant and
some atrocious, and almost all
conducted in connivance with forest
gaping jaws seemed to be grinning his lustrous, rainbow-hued tail as he protection authorities. The authori-
wicked thoughts as they hungrily loudly voiced his mesmerising mating ties concerned in the Indian Govern-
waited for their prey — deer and call. ment should coordinate with State
other small animals that come to the government forest and wildlife
river to drink water. protection authorities to increase the
The motor boat ride was a THE LAST DAY protection of wild elephants by laying
comparatively longer and more We were entertained on the third down heavy punishment for poachers
pleasurable one. We passed several and last day by the elephant-back and deviating officials.
herds of elephants drinking water or ride and bird viewing from As we left Kabini, we realised that
bathing in the river. We saw watchtowers. The elephant-back ride the three days we spent there were
3 varieties of deer: chital (spotted was a delightful experience. Safely periods of peace and tranquillity, far
deer), muntjac (barking deer) and perched on comfortable seats in a away from the noisy traffic and
sambhar, which our guide said is the solid square box atop our elephant pressures of city life that receded into
largest deer found in India. Our guide that was controlled by a rider called a the background as we gave ourselves
also pointed to menacing carnivores mahout, we saw several animals like up to jungle sounds and smells and
lurking in the background, waiting for the Indian civet, giant malabar the companionship of wildlife. The
a chance to pounce on their prey: a squirrel, wild boar, black-necked stirring words of John Burroughs, “I
leopard, a pack of dhole (pack- hare, monkey and sloth bear. We go to Nature to be soothed and
hunting wild dogs), and the ever- were particularly impressed by the healed, and to have my senses put in
present scavengers (hyenas, jackals mighty Indian bison, locally known as order,” aptly describe how we felt.
and vultures), waiting to pick the Gaur which we were told is the
bones clean of dead animals. biggest of its kind in the world. Kabini is accessible as
We also saw several birds during We also had a shocking follows:
our motor boat ride. Through experience: high in the branches of a By rail: Nearest railway station
binoculars provided by our guide, we tall tree we saw a thick python in the is Mysore (80 km).
clearly saw the warbler, spotted midst of its meal: the torso of a half- By air: Nearest airport is
dove, blue jay, hill mynah, bulbul and eaten monkey clearly visible as the Bangalore (220 km).
barbet. Blue-winged parakeets let out reptile laboriously swallowed it. By road: Buses from Ooty (240
piercing cries as they flew through We spent a long time on several km) and Bangalore (220 km) are
the trees in busy feeding groups. watchtowers ideally located around available to Mysore. By bus or taxi
Grey shrikes were busy catching the Lodge to spy on birds on the river from Mysore along the Mysore-
grasshoppers and dragon flies, killing bank. We saw the shy juvenile jacana Mananthavadi Road to Karapur
them by piercing them on the sharp which hid among the weeds, tickkel’s village.
thorny bushes before eating them. flower pecker that busily dug honey Best time to visit: October to
The white-necked stork, black lbis from flowers, the Malabar pied eagle May (June to September period
and white lbis blissfully foraged in the that was engrossed in eating what should be avoided due to the
river for fish. But the picture that seemed like a small mouse, the heavy rainfall experienced by this
captivated us the most was that of brown-headed fishing eagle that was region.) We
the male Indian peacock, pirouetting skimming the water in search of fish,

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 121


he animal world is a typical

T
wonderland. Unlike human
society, there are no laws,
no constitution and no
system in their existence.
There is complete jungle raj
where only the fittest and the
mightiest survive. There is
no common sense and civic
sense. Yes of course, the
majority of them have been bestowed
with the sixth sense. Punishments
are no doubt very tough and harsh
with no appeal provisions. Fear
phobia prevails everywhere and
danger lurks in every corner. Life
Learn a trick suffers with full uncertainty. If
anything can be guaranteed it is
or two from death.

monkeys, Problem in co-existence: In an


unprecedented display of greed and
who have a brutal reflexes humans have
encroached upon the already limited
better sense of and restricted forest area meant for
the animal kingdom. Their areas of
security than habitation are shrinking still further
by each passing day. In such a
human beings. critical situation many animals with
nomadic characteristics have left the
By K. M. Sharma jungles for good and decided to co-
exist with humans and willingly

MONKEY’S
adopted urban lifestyle with suitable
adaptability. As a consequence the
struggle for urban space sharing with

PRECAUTIONS
humans has already started and
ultimately these selected species of
animals have become a nuisance in

TO POISON
the urbanised environment of the
human habitats.
In modern times we are noticing
that monkeys have violently invaded
the urban conglomerates of human
settlements and have asserted their
right to co-exist with the humans and
enjoy the nature’s gift of a vast
variety of eatables. The pattern of
their consumption has given ample
proof that there is no major difference
in the eating habits and preferences
between monkeys and humans. Their
behavioural attitudes have confirmed
that they are also the ancestors of
the present human race.
Monkeys have full knowledge like
humans except the language for
communication. But they have a
perfect science of communication

122 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


with each other with sound variants, the group could not touch the khir Monkeys were unaware of secret
signs and signals. They act in a unless permitted by the head. So the plan.
better organisational way to run a head of the group came near the khir,
family. Social scientists and animal smelled it but did not eat it. He took Gular an antidote: To their
behaviourists unequivocally confirm away the entire group. After some astonishment, the spices found that
that the monkeys live in groups and time the group came back and ate all the group of monkeys went to a
in the group hierarchy there is a head the khir. nearby nursery full of various fruit
of the group whose orders prevail for The family was happy to note that trees. They selected a gular tree
strict compliance by junior group the poisonous khir was ultimately laden with fruit and flowers. They ate
members. They practise promiscuity eaten by the monkeys and they a lot of gular fruits and came back to
and the head can impregnate any thought that all the monkeys would the spot where the khir was still lying.
number of females in the group. Such die a miserable death. Poor fellows. Without hesitation the entire group
behaviour of monkeys is visible in But surprisingly and unexpectedly consumed the khir and went away.
broad daylight in the city. nothing happened to monkeys. In the The poison in the khir could not harm
coming days the monkeys as usual them at all.
Monkey menace: The monkey indulged in their mischievous The spies collected samples of the
menace has reached an alarming activities and no end seemed visible gular fruit from the same tree and
stage. Monkey-bite cases are to the people’s predicament. took the samples for an expert
increasing by leaps and bounds. It Not to accept defeat at the hands opinion to a botanist and a local
has also been observed that of monkeys the people of the locality ayurvedic hakim to find out their
monkeys bite women on the cheek mustered courage and decided to properties. Both confirmed that gular
only. They enter the houses, open take another chance to strike another fruit acts as an antidote to any or
the fridge door, take cold drink bottles blow at the monkeys. After a few everything poisonous. Hakimji further
and uncork the bottles and consume days, the family again prepared khir enlightened that the gular tree bark,
the cold drinks. Cases have also and again laced it with the same leaves and fruit juice can be
been reported about their enjoying poisonous substance and kept in the administered to an affected person.
beer and whisky kept in the fridge. open space. The unrelenting He or she can be saved in 99 per
This amusing fact is further confirmed monkeys, as usual, came, saw and cent cases.
by a report which says that in one of smelled the khir . They It is really a mystery how monkeys
the temples in Rajasthan the instantaneously understood the trap had a perfect knowledge of gular
monkeys are fed liquor. If not served, and went away. being an antidote to the poison in the
they make a hullabaloo! But this time the people had an khir. We
The Municipal Corporation of elaborate plan to unveil the secret of
Delhi (MCD) has miserably failed to the monkeys. They decided to send
get rid of monkey menace in the two-three members of the locality as
affected localities. In desperation the spies to follow the monkeys and find
harassed public is trying different out what they eat before consuming
different methods to frighten away or the poisonous khir. The chase started
eliminate monkeys. and the spies were on the prowl. The

A trap: I would like to share with


the readers a method adopted by a
family. This family was fed up with
the monkey menace and felt most
annoyed by the irresponsible
behaviour and apathy of the MCD in
clearing the surroundings of the
monkey menace. They prepared khir
and laced it with some poisonous
substance. A group of monkeys
came as usual almost at the same
time. The group was happy to see
the khir in a vast Bhagona utensil. In
their heart of hearts they must have
thanked the host for providing a tasty
feast.
But as per standing instructions of
the head of the group, members of

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 123


ERRATIC SCHEDULES
How much should one sleep? By A. C. Tuli
n elderly wiseacre living knotty problem. The time when I shall And I do, the fear of disturbing the

A
next door has a go to bed at night is more or less family notwithstanding.
considerable stock of fixed, but when I shall wake up in the My wife, whose hours of sleep are
maxims and wise old morning has always been a matter of fixed and so well regulated that I can
sayings stored in his grey uncertainty to me – and also a topic almost set my watch by them, has
head, which he has a of speculation and jocular comments always viewed my erratic schedule
knack of introducing at the for my wife and children. with perplexity and concern. The
right moment in a There are days when I wake up to other day, when I quietly stole out of
conversation, so to speak, find that the family has already had bed at 4 am and straightway tip-toed
to hit the nail on the head. its breakfast and, in the kitchen, the my way to the kitchen to brew myself
The other day I heard him use one better half is gently chiding our a nice cup of tea, I committed the
to pontifically moralise on how many butter-fingered domestic help to be a unpardonable crime of allowing a
hours of sleep a human being little more careful with the crockery. bone china cup to slip out of my hand
normally needs in a day to keep The ‘Late lateef’ in me then has to to break into some half a dozen
fighting fit. stomach the jibes and jokes my pieces on the floor. This seemingly
“Nature made it six, comfort family often makes about my irregular minor mishap created such a devil of
seven, luxury eight, and dissipation sleeping hours. a racket in the kitchen that it was
stretched it to nine,” recited the But they say every cloud has a sufficient to pull the better half out of
ancient with practised fluency. “The silver lining to it. My erratic schedule her deep slumbers to make a few
wise, of course, stick to what nature of sleep, too, has a sunny side. I choice comments on the clumsiness
says, the easy-going ones generally mean there are days when I find of those who ruin honest folks’ sleep
abide by the dictates of comfort, but myself wide awake at four in the at an unearthly hour.
the dissipated and the habitually morning, which is considered by the “You should consult a doctor,”
indolent hardly ever bother about devout and the god-fearing as the advised a friend the other day when I
their hours of sleep.” ambrosial hour, that is, amritvela , told him about my problem. “Getting
That set off a train of deep according to the Sikh scriptures. up at 9.30 in the morning is no doubt
thought. I have, I told myself in a And sometimes I am up even a a trifle too lousy, but being earlier
regretful vein, never consistently little earlier than that, when all other than the earliest crowing cockerel is
followed either nature, or comfort, or members of our family lie ensconced also a bit odd. The ideal hour for
even luxury. In fact, my hours of in the lap of Morpheus, the god of anyone to leave his or her bed in the
sleep, on any given day, are as sleep. I am the only one then raring morning, according to me, should be,
unpredictable as the future of any to jump out of bed to start my day. say, 6 o’clock. Of course, half an

124 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


hour this way or that way hardly have no regular hours
matters.” of sleep. Some of
There was indeed some them have to go to
substance in what he said. their work place on
The doctor to whom I went for shift duty, so their
consultation listened to my saga of hours of sleep are not
sleep quite sympathetically, but then, always the same.
suddenly furrowing his brow But, in spite of that,
interrogatively, he asked me, “What’s they still manage to
wrong with waking up early or late in get all the sleep they
the morning? It’s certainly not an need to keep well.
ailment.” Then, with a smile and a “But your problem,
naughty glint in his eye, he added, I find, is that you want
“You have perhaps forgotten that the to wake up at a
important thing is that one wakes up particular hour in the
in the morning, otherwise… ha! ha! morning. Well, to begin with, keep an clock fails to rouse me from my
ha!” alarm clock by your bedside. That’ll sleep. The alarm bell, say my
certainly help. children, rings itself out but I keep
ERRATIC SLEEP TIME – “Once you get used to waking up
with the ringing of the alarm bell, it
blithely snoring in bed.
My wife, however, has her own
NO DISEASE will become a habit with you. But my views on this topic. The other day, I
Strange sense of humour, I advice is that you shouldn’t take it too heard her say that there are some
wondered. But then, a little more seriously. Rising early or late in the blokes in this world who need
responsibly, the doctor said, “Our morning, I repeat, is not at all a something much stronger than an
body is so fine-tuned by nature that it disease.” alarm clock to rouse them from their
normally gets all the sleep it needs Ever since, I have been following Kumbhkarnian sleep. A bucketful of
irrespective of the hour at which we the doctor’s advice meticulously. But ice-cold water splashed on their
go to bed at night. Besides, there are not with much success so far, for faces, she said, would perhaps be a
millions of people in this world who there are days when even the alarm little more effective! We

prepared it one day earlier. I made a clutch purse which I was carrying in
list of ingredients and gave them to my hand. My mobile phone, cash of
him each. Then, from the recipe I 500 rupees, my Bank of Baroda debit
prepared everything very carefully. card and my university identity card
There was Hungarian chicken, mutton were all in it.
do-piaza mushroom, almond soup, the When I wanted to make an urgent
starters and other snacks like Russian call I realised that my purse was lost.
salad, etc. Lo and behold. Each dish Suddenly I rang up my number. and
turned out to be very delicious. For prayed that somebody might attend
Cooking pleasure each dish I had put in an extra effort. it. I had lost all hopes that I will get it
We had just been married. He was The Generals praised and others back, as the exhibition was a
a Captain in the Army. Barely 15 lauded my efforts. They told their crowded place. Then, to my surprise,
days after our marriage, my husband wives to pick up tips from Mrs Chopra. somebody picked up the phone and
asked me if I could cook. He had Hubby was elated. He got a said that, while getting onto the bike
already invited 12 people and praised recommendation from his Generals. I had dropped my purse. He had tried
my culinary skills to the sky. He had All is well that ends well. I had to call us back but we did not hear
seen that I was a good cook but then I followed the maxim: Work is worship. his shout.
had not put my hands to parties No wonder the meal was sumptuous Then that man told that he stays in
single-handedly. — out of this world. Aminjikarai, a very distant area from
He encouraged me, “Darling, if I – Kunwarani Harbans Chopra, my place and told to come and get
had not seen you cooking at home, I Bangalore. my belongings back. It was late night
would never have invited my buddies but still my brother went and
as well as General Bose and General Lost — then found recovered my belongings. Then I
Kataria with their wives.” Oh, This happened a few months ago, I rang him back and thanked him.
another bombshell. visited an exhibition with my husband Through this column I once again
We were in Shimla. So there was and was returning home. When I want to thank my brother.
no chance of food getting spoilt, even reached home I could not find my – R. Humera Sultana, Chennai

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 125


andit Ronu Majumdar is a and John Hassles. In addition, he has

P
musician with an inter - several album releases to his credit,
national standing. This flute of which the best-selling ones have
maestro has also made been Koi Akela, Song of Nature,
waves in India quite recently Traveller’s Tale as well as Fusion
having composed music for Yatra , a popular number with the
India’s first I-Max film Mystic youth which Ronu Majumdar had
India. Known for his off-stage done in conjunction with Louis Banks.
research in creating the Besides being one of the most
perfect flute instrument for versatile of Indian musicians, Ronu
concert performances, the pandit has Majumdar has a reputation of
also been instrumental in creating a receiving prestigious awards for his
flute that is longer than the conven- unique performances. His most
tional one and another, shorter recent award has been the Pandit
version, that is ideal for playing the Jasraj Puruskar, in 2008, and the
notes of the lower octave. On stage, Aditya Vikram Birla Award, a few
the changeover from one flute to years earlier. A classical musician at
another is a seamless activity so that the outset, Ronu Majumdar has
listeners are hardly aware of any made it his mission to take his music
musical change in the process. The to the youth.
concert and the flute in his hands is WE met the musician for an
thus a smooth glide along the path exclusive interview:
of music, as he blows out the notes
of the raga, in the style of the Maihar How do you compose music for
gharana. a fusion number?
In his childhood he was trained to The Fusion numbers that I have
play the flute by his father Dr Bhanu composed are thematic works on
Majumdar and later came under the dawn, or awakening or nature, and
guidance of the late Pandit Laxman are based on popular ragas . They
Prasad Jaipurwale. As a mature also have a folk touch in them
musician, he was taken under the because the flute is a folk instrument
tutelage of Pandit Raghav Rao, a and music from that source sounds
senior disciple of Pandit Ravi good on my instrument.
Shankar.
A classical musician with a broad Who is the target audience for
musical outlook, Pandit Ronu Fusion numbers?
Majumdar has created new wave The young generation of listeners
music in conjunction with inter - are not used to listening to classical
national musicians like Ry Cooder music. Fusion music is aimed at
drawing them into the fold of music
and in that way, introduce them to
the greatness of classical music.

PANDIT RONU
They are not yet ready to accept pure
classical music but bringing them to
this stage is difficult unless one first
introduces them to music through

MAJUMDAR
Fusion numbers.

The flute is a very soft


instrument and the youth of today
are drawn to loud sounds in
The flautist par excellence! music. Do they come to your
concerts?
By Subhra Mazumdar The youth are gradually coming
forward to listen to the flute. On my
part, I like to make the playing
interesting for them by elaborating on
the flute. It is true that the instrument
has a soft sound, but the flute is also alaap, where I slowly develop the
capable of many variations in play raga, and follow it up with a catchy
and that attracts the young listeners. jod passage built around a fast
tempo. As our gharana is a layakari
Have you played duets with gharana, where laya or beat is
other instrumentalists in the important, I introduce improvisations
classical style? of the layakari in my music.
Yes, most recently I have played
with saxophonist Kadri Gopalnath. I What are your future plans?
have also played alongside the To play my music at different
Carnatic vocalist Bombay Jaishree, venues around the world. It was a
in a format that would match both our landmark occasion when I played at
styles. Internationally, I have played New Zealand’s Town Hall as the first
with Ry Cooder and Christian Indian flautist to play there. I want my
Seiferd. humble instrument to mesmerise
listeners across all barriers of age
What is your advice on making and communication.
classical music more universal?
On my part I have often given Have you succeeded in your
lecture demonstrations. This is not to music is utsaah (happiness, effort?
students of music only. I have also inspiration). I should think so. Judging by the
lectured to participants at personality growing number of young learners
development classes and made them How would you describe your studying under me, and the opening
aware of the cultural richness of our style of playing? up of opportunities to perform
music. I have made them understand As I am a musician of the Maihar worldwide, the flute, originally a
that music is an important part of our gharana of the late Baba Allaudin pastoral instrument, is becoming the
lives. We should not run after music Khan, I follow the system closely. I instrument of choice among the
as unmaad ( frenzy) but realise that have an interesting introductory youth. We
hey say that India is a free that comes home. This, they said,

T
country – one in which basic would ensure that 'work gets done'.
human rights as citizens are We, however, felt it was a clear case
given equality to all. and hence decided not to
However, it is also common unnecessarily resort to any corrupt
knowledge that attaining the means. When the officer came home,
stamp of a citizen – that of a we calmly explained the details of the
passport – can often be a case to him. The officer, too, seemed
tiresome and impossible rather unfazed and asked us to write
task. an application stating the same.
Recently, the 10-year period of my As the days went by, we realised
passport expired and I needed to get that the stipulated period of 45 days
it renewed before an important trip to had finally come to an end but there
Switzerland and the United States. was still no sign of the passport reach
Since my passport had first been home. This began to worry us as our
made in Delhi, and since I was travel dates were slowly getting
working there for the last year and a closer. On speaking to the police
half, I thought it might be pretty officer about it, we learnt that all he
obvious for one to apply for a renewal was waiting for was a bribe from us
in Delhi itself. My parents, however, all along! Imagine our plight when we
had been living in Jaipur for the last heard him saying on the other end of
seven years. the phone, “Hum to aapke phone ka
The time for the normal procedure hi wait kar rahe the taki aap hume
was given as a minimum of 45 days kuch offer kar de." (I had been
for which we had to shell out a sum waiting for you to call up all along so
of Rs 1,500. Around the time for the that you may offer me some money
police verification procedure, a in order to get the work done.)
number of people advised us that the After sending several e-mails to
surest bet was to simply slip a note of the office as well as endless phone
Rs 100 into the hands of the authority calls, we realised that there was still

Why is it such a
hassle to simply get PASSPORT TO
our identity certified?
By Neha Kirpal
NOWHERE no response. Disgusted, we decided
to go ourselves to the passport office
and ask them what the further
procedure was. They told us that,
since our application had been
rejected, we had to follow the next
obvious procedure – reapply, this
time from Jaipur.
Without wasting any more time,
we decided to immediately reapply
from Jaipur all over again. This time,
however, we applied through the
*Tatkaal *(quick) scheme that is
meant to take a period of three days
and is resorted to in cases of
emergency. The scheme cost us an
additional Rs 2,500. However, this decided to come personally and pick wondered. "Anything to get out of
was still not a solution to our up the passport instead of receiving it here, I guess" instantly fleeing out of
problem. by post at our home address. the office in relief.
The period of three days was On the D-Day, the time for 5:20 pm I almost scrammed all the
over, but the passport still did not 'distributing' passports was given to way to the travel agency and handed
reach home. By now, we were almost be between 4 pm and 5 pm By 5 pm, over the passports that were
livid since our travel dates were now however, the passports had not yet scheduled to leave for Delhi by
just a fortnight away. The travel arrived. Scores of tense people stood courier within a span of 10 minutes.
tickets had already been bought and crowding around us, some talking on The travel agent looked up calmly
we wanted to spare about a week's their mobile phones looking hassled, from his desk and I pretended that
time to get the Swiss visa. The others pacing about restlessly. The nothing had happened. "Here you
hilarious part of it all was that my waiting period also allowed a number
previous passport already had a 10- of 'fellow sufferers' to share each
year tourist visa for the USA. So I other’s 'passport woes' with each THE AGENCY
could enter the United States without other in a display of passionate INFORMED US
any problem, but I could not exit India sympathy. Buzzes of "They told me I
without a legal travel document! have to reapply because the birth THAT THE
In a state of nervousness, we
went personally to the passport office
certificate is missing" or "They said I
have to re-apply because in the
PASSPORTS MUST
once again to check the problem out photograph I had a religious cap on" BE URGENTLY
for ourselves. Once at the office, we
saw endless queues of helpless
or "These people feel they are gods"
seemed to resound all around me
COURIERED TO
people like ourselves pleading before and I began to feel like an DELHI FOR THE
the authorities. The officials looked insignificant hapless part of the
completely blasé, feeling extremely mundane mess that is India. SWISS VISA BY
powerful in their positions, often 5:10 pm Finally, after almost 5:30 PM THE
shooing off people or carelessly giving up and falling half to sleep, we
slamming their precious files from heard some noise in the distance and NEXT DAY.
one desk to another. a kind of inexplicable hush filled the
air as a group of people figured out
that the 'coveted possessions' were
SHODDY TREATMENT actually making their way down the
When we inquired about the stairs to be brought for the final
reason for our passport 'not quite task of distribution. It was like
making the mark' we were told that a miracle – an
the file had not yet reached the inexpressible moment of
particular desk it was meant to go to. triumph filled with fatigue.
For about three days in a row, we Finally, my turn came to
kept going back and forth to the office collect the passport. I looked
to pressurise the officials into down at it, expecting to find a
considering our case. Sometimes, we shiny, beautiful little book
were simply told to return later in the almost studded with gold and
day 'after lunch hours'. After a diamonds! What I found instead
considerable amount of frustration was a drab, ordinary and almost
and days of jittery waiting, we were faded-looking booklet staring back at
finally told that the process would me. ‘All that trouble…for this?’ I
finally be completed by the next day.
This happened when only five more
days were left before our date of
departure.
In the meantime, we were
simultaneously in touch with a travel
agency that was handling our
holiday. The agency informed us that
the passports must be urgently
couriered to Delhi for the Swiss visa
by 5:30 pm the next day. Naturally, to
avoid further confusion and delay, we
are,” I said coolly and as I handed that when her police verification was
the passports over to him, my heart to take place, the officer plainly asked
skipped a beat. "Be careful with that," her parents for a sum of Rs 2,000
I cautioned him. without even batting an eyelid. It was
"Of course I will,” he replied almost as if it was an obvious 'done
flashing an amused smile. ‘You don't thing' in order to ensure that the job
know the value of what you hold in gets done! She adds, "We didn’t
your hand, young man,’ I wanted to even question the inspector, simply
say. ‘The kind of things I have been gave him the money and sure
through just to get this!’ I wondered. enough the passport was made.”
And it was only after I stepped out of Contrast this with my sister who
the travel agent's office at 5:35 pm lives in Seattle and needed to get her
that I realised I was actually going to Indian passport renewed in the USA.
make it to the flight for my holiday Nidhi went to study in the United
scheduled only four days later! States and has been living there for
I came out and felt like crying – the last three years.
because of an overwhelmingly weird When she had to get her Indian
bunch of happy, tired and rather passport renewed there, all she had
cheated mix of emotions running to do was to post the relevant
through my head. Am I not a citizen? documents to the Indian embassy
Is this the way the country where I that lasted for almost three painful office in San Francisco and within a
was born and brought up in a months, I have met a number of hassle-free span of 15 days, her
straightforward manner for all my life Indians like myself who have had to fresh passport was promptly mailed
decides to treat me after 23 years of undergo the same tribulation. A back to her. No police verification.
never doing a single wrong thing? Is cousin of mine explained the trauma Just because there is probably much
this the price that I must pay for what she underwent while getting her more trust. Because no one is so
I deserve in any case as a birthright? passport. Coming from a small Indian corrupt. Because things get done
I have to say, through my ordeal town like Hissar, Mukta remembers within the period. We

avoid looking at me or just stared at After about a week, the wife also
me with an expressionless face. This responded with a little smile. I felt
was all new to me. In the USA, when great. Then gradually with the smile
you see somebody on the street (and if was started exchanging “hi” or
Break the Ice — Gain a Friend you make an eye contact), especially “namaste” or “good morning”.
Every morning I go for a walk. in your neighbourhood, you say, “Hi” It went on for a few weeks. Then
It’s a part of my exercise routine and or wave at them. It is just a friendly one day they seemed keen on talking
I have been doing it for many years. gesture and not doing so is considered to me, so I stopped and asked them
Four years ago after retiring from rude. But here, even when I see the where they lived. And it turned out
my regular job, my husband and I same people every day, nobody was that they lived in the same
decided to move to India and to make willing to acknowledge my presence. neighbourhood. So we started talking
a retirement home in Pune. So, just for fun, I decided to do an every morning when we met and
Originally we are from India, but we experiment. There was this particular found out that there were many things
had been living in the USA for the couple whom I saw every morning. of common interest between us.
last 37 years and I was really excited They seemed to be nice people. Both We invited them to our house and
to come back. We purchased a house husband and wife were about the same they reciprocated with the same
in a very nice area of the town. age as I was. enthusiasm. Before we knew it, we
I started my walking routine as Next day when I saw them, I looked became very good friends. Now, we
soon as we settled down. Every at the wife and smiled a little; both of help each other and we enjoy each
morning I would take the same route them looked at me but did not change other’s company.
in my neighbourhood and I would the expression on their faces. I said to I have kept the secret of my little
notice the same people who would myself, “It’s okay, this is just an experiment to myself and they don’t
also go for a walk just as I did. I experiment, let’s wait and see what seem to be keen on finding out why I
would try to look at them to say, “Hi” happens.” So every morning after that targeted them with a smile on that
but I had a very strange experience. day, whenever I saw them, I would day. We just enjoy our friendship.
People either looked away or tried to give a little smile. – Kunda Apte, Pune.

130 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


160 Crossword
F A M I L Y P H O T O

CONTEST
1 2 3 4 5
L D
6
Tear along the dotted line and mail to Crossword No. 160 Woman’s Era, Delhi Press, New Delhi-110 055.

I
7 8 9 10
O A
11
K T A
12 13
O A
14

15 16 17 18 19
N O

O I
20 21
D
22
B E

23 24
T B

Across
1. A person, company, or thing that
competes with another in sport,
1. A disease of children caused by a lack of
good food that makes the bones become
business, etc. (5) soft and badly formed, especially in the
3. A structure that is built over a road, legs (7)
railway/railroad, river, etc. so that 2. A religion that is practised especially in
people or vehicles can cross from one Haiti and involves magic and
side to the other (6) witchcraft (6)
7. A room in a public building where people 4. Extremely clean and tidy (10)
can leave coats, bags, etc. for a time (9) 5. Designed to improve people’s working
10. Chemical symbol for the element silver (2) conditions and to help them work more
11. Used after a list to show that there are efficiently (9)
Please accept my entry for the
other things that you could have 6. Cathode Ray Tube (3) crossword competition. I
mentioned (3) 8. Wanting to do something or
12. To gradually destroy the surface of wanting something to happen very subscribe to all the rules and
something through the action of wind, much (4)
rain, etc.; to be gradually destroyed 9. The mass of salt water that covers regulations of the competition.
in this way (5) most of the earth’s surface (5)
13. A very large family, or a group of people 16. To prevent a horse from winning
who are connected because of a a race, for example by giving it
Name
particular thing (4) drugs (6)
14. Arithmetic and Logical Unit in a computer 17. A member of an armed group of
Down

system (3) thieves who attack travelers (6)


15. Chemical symbol for the element Tin (2) 18. To walk slowly with no particular Address
18. Chemical symbol for the element purpose; to be somewhere not doing
Manganese (2) very much (5)
19. To appear important or threatening and 21. To tell somebody information that
likely to happen soon (4) should be kept secret (4) City Pin
20. To leave somebody, especially somebody 22. To touch something lightly, usually
you are responsible for, with no intention several times (3)
of returning (7)
21. Before Christ (2)
22. To give cards to each player in a
game of cards (4)
23. Tidy and in order; carefully done or
arranged (4)

24. To cry (4)

132 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


WIN UP TO
Winners of Crossword - 157
Rs15,000IN CASH PRIZES

Seema Mahajan, Agra. Rahul Mittal, Jagadhri. Mansi Gupta, Delhi.

Suresh Rohid S. Renchano


as, Belgaum. M. Brunda Nageswar Rao, Tamilnadu. Elung, Mon, N
agaland.

Meera Vishw Georgina Peres, Hyderabad. Ruchi Sharm


anath, Bangal a, Delhi.
ore.

Manjiri Srikan Nisha Bhujan


th Karni, Sang Mala Nayak, Mumbai. g, Bangalore.
li.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 133