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5 Life Skills Smart Moms must Have:
Proven Strategies to Keep You Sane!
By J Rembrandt
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recording. the author reserves the right to alter and update her opinion based on new conditions. or by any informational storage or retrieval system without express written. electronic or mechanical. © 4 . DISCLAIMER AND/OR LEGAL NOTICES The information presented herein represents the view of the author as of the date of publication. Because of the rate with which conditions change. dated and signed permission from J Rembrandt.ISBN 978-0-9842493-0-5 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED No part of this report may be altered in any form whatsoever. including photocopying.
Vic and Victor. © 5 . Thank you both for your patience and understanding. Thank you both for your words of wisdom and guidance. I love you both very much. I couldn’t have completed this project without the two of you. Nana and Mom.
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Introduction..........................................................................................................10 Take Care of Yourself 1st....................................................................................24 Define Your Family Goals...................................................................................43 Keep Healthy Food on Hand and Get your Child to Eat It...............................60 Know How to Effectively Help Your Child with Homework............................78 How do you learn your child’s learning style?...................................................82 Get to Know the True Value of Money...............................................................94 Where do you go from here?.............................................................................102
such words as improvement. and success have no meaning.Benjamin Franklin © 10 .” --. achievement.“Without continual growth and progress.
that is a different story for another day. parenting was and still is a rewarding as well as challenging experience. It was not easy making the adjustment from being childless to being a Mom. You have plenty of time to find out about how naïve I was about having a child.First. For example. I am the proud parent of a son who is 7 at time I am writing this. Regardless. I am glad you got this book. I knew my life would change once I was a Mom. I went from only having to take care of myself only on the fly to having to take care of two people. I remember when I found out I was pregnant. but I had no concept of the magnitude because being © 11 . Would you believe I never thought about it until then? Well. I was happy until I actually thought about how babies really come out of your stomach. let me start by saying thank you for purchasing this book. How did you get this book? Did you get this book because the title attracted your attention or what it made you made you think of? Anyway.
Moreover. I knew I would be responsible for another human being besides myself without realizing what it actually meant. wash his clothes so that he could have clean ones to wear and dress him appropriately for the weather if we went anywhere. etc. The suggestions I am going to make to you are not perfect. EVERYTHING is done times whatever number of additional family members you have. It sounds like a lot because it is.a Mom is not a position you can prepare for. Sound familiar? The list goes on. grandmother and © 12 . This advice came from my mom. Then. And don’t have more than one child and/ or a husband. You get the point. I would have to make sure another person took a bath. I would have to give my baby a bath when and if he needed one. had clean clothes to wear and was dressed. EVERYTHING is done times 2. We just don’t think about as a lot because we are Moms and love our family so we will do whatever we will need to do to see everyone happy.
Their help is and was invaluable. The type of emotions which you don’t normally have such as wanting a drink. “old way of doing things” type of advice to help me get on track. a smoke or even to pull your hair out. but it is necessary because it leads to less stress and a richer life. By richer life I mean © 13 . I feel less stress and get more things done quicker. I have discovered through trial and errors that if I do things a certain way. I felt less stress and got more things done quicker. When I felt that way.elderly friends. Feeling stressed out and overwhelmed brings out a whole new set of emotions which are very confusing. Once I learned what worked for me. If these things are not part of your daily routine already. my grandmother and mom had to pitch in with their traditional. you are not sure where they are coming from. A simple life is not an easy life. Why did I write this book? I hope this book inspires you to create a convenient life for yourself and your family even if you think you can’t.
I know it is hard to believe. take things a day at a time and focus on the things you can control. You will begin to focus on the things you can control. An external locus of control is a psychological term which refers to events that are out of your control. but everything in life is not an external locus of control or uncontrollable event. mentally and financially for you and your family. A simple life can be implemented into your life by making small changes. © 14 . You will learn such choice words as: • • • • • • • Discipline Self-control Structure Delegating Help Focus Goals.emotionally.
it is not all about you any longer. Your thoughts play a big factor in how you view things. For instance. but there are things in life you can control. Then you will see how to implement the changes into your life. When you start thinking in ways which do not © 15 . I know it is hard to believe.Because they sound like curse words to some people and often require hard work and changes. It will not happen overnight. what are you saying to your child and how are you influencing their view of themselves? Remember. How will you make the changes you want to make? You must change your mindset to reflect your new views. By focusing on the things you can control. you will have a negative aura. Don’t worry in the context we will use these words. everything will be worded plainly so that you can see how it relates to your life so that you can focus on the things you can control. if you are walking around saying negative things to yourself about yourself. you can react and think better when a crisis or unplanned event arises. To take it a step further.
This is where being disciplined. © 16 .” -Mahatma Gandhi How do you feel when you read this quote? What does it make you think about? I think about how my thoughts and actions must be aligned. very busy world which can easily cause you to get unfocused. what you say. and what you do are in harmony. Also. you must be self-reflective.reflect your new values. “Happiness is when what you think. you will need to change or control your thought pattern. Meaning you must be able to look at yourself and your actions objectively to see if they aligned with the changes you are making in your life as a result of this book. We live in a fast paced. having self-control come into play.
This significantly reduces the amount of time you have to think and is very distracting because you are constantly bombarded with interruptions from the internet. If this is not enough. Grandma is now oftentimes working too or busy living life. and you needed to go to the library or get an encyclopedia to find out information. Let’s not mention the internet because it provides a plethora of information on ANY subject which is simply mind boggling. radio. kids. These are constant interruptions in daily life.Life is very busy Let’s face it life is changing at a very busy pace. You can reach anyone at any time of day via a cell phone or the internet. Times are different from when Grandma was always available to take care of the grandkids. add to it the fact that technology is changing the all aspects of our life such as how we do © 17 . TV. spouse and LIFE! Everything needs attention right away. you had to wait to call someone after work.
business, communicate with family and friends, learn new subjects, go to school, listen to music and watch movies the list goes on and on.
Why and how to stay focused?
As a Mom, we must stay focused and centered so that we can prepare our children for the future. How can we stay focused? By keeping mind that we are responsible for showing our kids how to be productive, self-sufficient adults. The only way to do this is through our actions. Children not only learn by what we say, but what we do and how we respond to everyday challenges. You manage and are responsible for many people, your family. It is vital to your family’s survival that you keep things organized and in its proper perspective. Here is a partial list of what you need to accomplish this task: 1) Get rid of your emotional baggage, especially those remaining from your own childhood 2) Schedule Me-Time © 18
3) Develop a family plan 4) Delegate tasks You need to read a different book and do some self-analysis in order to get rid of your emotional baggage. However, this book will help with scheduling me-time, developing family goals and delegating tasks. The book is divided into 8 chapters.
Here is a list of the other 7 chapters in the book along with a brief description. 1. Take Care of Yourself 1st We will determine how important it is for you to remember the things you liked to do before you became the caretaker of everyone except yourself. We will explore ways you can fit me-time into your schedule.
2. Define Goals for Your Family Figure out what you want your family to accomplish and write it down. Then create an action plan to reach your goals.
3. Keep Healthy Food on Hand and Get Your to Eat it Learn how to eat healthy at home and on the go. Also, teach your family to make healthy eating choices.
4. How to Help your Child with Homework Effectively Find the educational tools you need to help your child with any school subject regardless of age.
5. Get to Know the True Value of Money Learn the true value of money so that you can keep spending and purchasing in perspective. © 20
The Cheatsheets are designed to highlight the key points of the chapter. © 21 . you can use it as a reference to easily review for a refresher. you will have a quick way to find out what you learned in the chapter. Then.Each chapter ends with a Cheatsheet. One. This serves 2 purposes.
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Take Care of Yourself 1st © 23 .
I can get so focused on my son’s needs that I will forget about my own. but you must take care of yourself first. they explain that if you are traveling with a child you must put your mask on first.This may surprise you. Do you remember as the flight is preparing to take off the flight crew informs you of what to do in case of an emergency? When they tell you how to use the oxygen mask. in the case of a © 24 . then one on the child. if you intend on taking care of anyone else. Have you ever ridden on an airplane? I am sure you have ridden on a plane just like I have. I constantly need to be reminded to take care of myself first. Now that I am a Mom. especially. Did you wonder why they would tell you to put an oxygen mask on yourself before putting one on a child? Before motherhood. So. Simple tasks such as does my son have clothes to wear or juice to drink become mountainous because I am consumed with meeting his needs and not my own. I often wondered why they would tell you to put your mask on first in an emergency.
What did you do before you had kids? Here are few hints: hang out with friends. etc. It is tough to empathize or see what someone else is saying unless you have that experience. Let’s take a closer look at this.flight emergency requiring the use of an oxygen mask I know I will panic in an emergency and think I am being a good Mom by concentrating on my son’s needs. you wouldn’t believe them because you have no point of reference. did you have a baby too immediately? Of course. Even if they did. travel. © 25 . go to the spa. go to the movies. those are the things which make you who you are. not! So think hard. Do these thoughts make you smile and surprise you? Remember the things you enjoyed and who you shared it with. Then I will die and quite possibly he will too because you must take care of yourself first if you intend on helping someone else. You see no tells us while we are growing up or getting married the changes and sacrifices you must make to raise a family. Did you have a life before you had children? Is it hard to fathom? When you were born.
Now that we have recalled your memory and have you thinking about things which make you happy. happy and healthy. An activity that you enjoy and makes you feel good without any regard for anyone else’s feeling. weekly or monthly.Having a family is a rewarding experience and I wouldn’t give my family up for anything. A special time set aside especially for you. It will also help you be more effective as a mom and person in general. The more frequent you can engage in the activity the better because you will keep yourself sunny and bright. however I would have spent more time discovering the things I like and maybe waited a little longer to have a family. I know this is hard to believe.1 © 26 . You have to decide whether it’s daily. let’s start thinking about how we can incorporate at least one activity into your life.
I used a simple to do © 27 . I remember running around chasing my tail one day because I felt I had so much to do. So.Change Your Mindset As a Mom. The use of crutches such as lists. The reason why I felt I had so much to do was because I didn’t have a list of my tasks to review. after I got tired and frustrated so I decided to make a list. we constantly find it necessary to think of the things we need to get done. This very ineffective for 3 reasons: 1) You can’t remember everything. pda’s and calendars is very beneficial to relieving stress. we are use to keep everything on the top of our mind. Finally. This is because we are responsible for so many tasks and people. For example. no one can 2) You will feel overwhelmed at any given moment 3) You will have too much on your mind You don’t have to try to remember everything off the top of your head.
now I write everything down before I get started with tasks. nothing fancy. How does it make you feel? Do you see the list as doable? Make a to do list consistently for 2 weeks. It is very amazing that such few items could be on your mind and cause so much frustration and confusion. Can you guess? After writing everything that was running through my mind and frustrating me.list template I downloaded from Microsoft. when © 28 . I had written down only 5 items. A product such as a radio runs on batteries. Think of it as recharging your batteries. The list is numbered from 1-20. Challenge! Make a detailed to do list the next time you feel overwhelmed and distressed. Me Time I cannot convey enough how important it is to schedule me time on a daily basis. Needless to say. When I looked at the list my mindset completely changed. You won’t believe how many items I wrote on the list. I saw it as achievable.
incorporate some me time for you. Here are some suggestions on when to schedule your me-time while everyone is busy. Don’t laugh. you will be more effective as a person and Mom. scheduling 20 minutes is a starting point. in the morning before everyone wakes up or in the evening after everyone has gone to bed. As a result. A simple 20 minutes of me time is very important and will help you: • • • Clear your mind Regain focus Gain clarity on complex issues This will improve the quality of your life exponentially.you put in new batteries the radio runs fine. Get as much me-time as you can. however as the batteries are about to die or go out the radio begins to play slow and the sounds are distorted. etc. © 29 By . The point is to just schedule it. but you can schedule some me time for yourself. On a daily basis. I know it may sound hard.
Once you have finished taking care of the situation and go back to your schedule. you can © 30 . A schedule has flexibility built in so if situations arise that need immediate attention you will be able to stop what you are doing and take care of the situation. Having a schedule is not a bad idea. Being a Mom can make you feel like everything is important all the time because you are trying to be everything to everybody. you can compartmentalize situations better.stepping back to take a breath and get clear on the important things in life. We are human beings and need time to relax otherwise we can’t be there for our family. I know having a schedule sounds too rigid and structured. What is compartmentalizing? Compartmentalizing is mentally putting everything in its proper perspective so that you can take care of fires immediately and take care of the small stuff when you can.
You will be able to accomplish this by using goal setting to stay focused and organized. it will take time and preparation. © 31 . learn how to delegate tasks to them and trust that they will complete it. A schedule makes us stick to what we are doing and complete tasks quicker because you have a plan to help you stay focused. A schedule will also help you get the things done that you want to get done because distractions make us take care of things which are not a priority. To prepare to incorporate me-time into your life you must teach kids how to complete so of the tasks on your to-do list.simply look at your schedule and pick up where you left off without skipping a beat. How Do I Incorporate Me-Time into my Busy Life? In order to incorporate me-time into your life.
You can incorporate me-time into your busy schedule by doing the following: 1) Set goals and schedule the completion of tasks so that you can goals can be accomplished 2) Teach Kids How to Complete Tasks © 32 . We will discuss more about delegating tasks to kids and teaching kids how to complete tasking in the Defining Family Goals chapter. I just want you to know is it possible to tackle your endless to do list. This will allow you to have me-time or get other tasks completed little or no interruptions. You must use the tools you have available such as calendars and to do list along with employing the help of your family. You are doing yourself and your family a great disservice if you do everything for them.Using real would examples you will learn how to teach your kids to complete tasks so that you can eventually delegate those tasks to them.
Also. Let them know this is their contribution to helping you. Keeping themselves busy and not constantly interrupting you will be very beneficial. keep a timer handy to remind the both of you when it is time to take a break or interruptions are okay. They will love knowing they are being helpful.3) Delegate Tasks to Kids Sidebar: If your kids are unable to help you because they are too small. then you must teach them how to keep themselves busy while you complete tasks or have me-time. © 33 .
We are focusing on you first because Mom is the backbone and/ or glue of the family. What is important to you? List 5 things. and makes sure everyone has everything they need. you will be able to have free up time to do other important activities such as vegging. Personal Goals Don’t get alarmed by the term “personal goals”. etc. keeps everyone on schedule.The invaluable tips I give you in later chapters will also demonstrate how by saving time on other tasks you. What are some things that come to mind? Here are some ideas: I want my child to learn how to read © 34 . Mom is the glue because she gets everyone together. I am not trying to help you devise the ultimate escape plan from your family! Identifying what matters to you personally works in conjunction with identifying your family goals which we will discuss later. I know this is contrary to popular belief. Let me ask you a question.
however. Now that you have identified your goals you need tools to accomplish them. until you use these tools in conjunction with one another you won’t realize how effective or important they are.fluently by age 7. the goal of teaching my child to learn how to read by age 7 identifies a goal and sets a deadline for it. your list may be different. I want to schedule my laundry day during the week so that I have free time during the weekend. The main thing you need to do is identify your goals and set a time frame for completion. Tools You Need to Accomplish your Goals • • • • © Calendar To Do List Goal List An organized system to keep everything together 35 . For example. Of course. The following tools may seem like a nobrainer or redundant.
e. calendar and to do list in one place. Even though I wrote the list down. Goal List It is important to write down your list on goals to see what is you want to accomplish. This keeps you organized and focused. After having to rewrite my list several times and often forgetting i.It is very important to keep your goals. wasting time to do some tasks because I couldn’t remember all the tasks I had written on the previous list. to have a place to refer to if you lose focus and keeping it in your head will make you feel like you overwhelmed and. I remember when I first started making to do list and I would write them on little scrap sheets of paper. like you. By © 36 . would have to rewrite the list everyday regardless of whether I completed the tasks or not because I would misplace the paper and forget what I had wrote on it. I have too much to do.
No goal was ever accomplished without a mental or written task list. Calendar A calendar is very important to goal setting. A written one is better because frees your mind to think of other things.viewing a list you see exactly what needs to be done and the amount of tasks needed to complete the goal. To Do List This list will identify the tasks that will need to complete to accomplish your goals and take care of any business you need to complete. This is very useful for when everyday life has you distracted. © 37 . This is vital because you will get tasks done when you need to. You always have a list to go back to instead of trying to remember everything in your head. It will keep track of your time and use your time more wisely. schedule appointment without overlapping them and keep track of when you will have free time.
© 38 . electronic or online organizing system. Look around to see which one will work best for you such as a paper.There are lots of organizers that offer the features of a calendar and to list in one.com for more resources. Check out my website http://5lifeskillssmartmomsmusthave.
close your eyes and mediate on any thoughts which make you feel good such as how you house looks when it is completely clean (LOL). © 39 .) Can you do this everyday for two weeks? Write down how it makes you feel to have time to yourself to relax. (Don’t cheat yourself! Don’t feel guilty.Experiment! Schedule a time when you can have 25 – 45 minutes alone to yourself without any interruptions so that you can do whatever you want. Set a timer where they can see it so they know when the time is up. Remember only focus on good thoughts . try this! Tell the kids. If you still feel you don’t have enough time for yourself. Then go to another room. you need 3-5 minutes to yourself. this is to help you recharge yourself so that you can be a better person and Mom. a beautiful vacation that you took.
It will significantly improve the quality of your life and your family’s. Set goals for you and your family . How? You will: • • • Clear your mind Regain focus Gain clarity on complex issues 2. The key points are as follows: 1.Chapter Cheat sheet I hope you got some important tips from this chapter. Whether you read this chapter or not reading this chapter cheat sheet will help you understand what the chapter is about and how it fits into your life. Make time for yourself even if it is 20 minutes a day to focus only on good thoughts or do something you enjoy.
Take action to achieve your goals by identifying the steps you will need to take to accomplish you goals .3.
Define Your Family Goals .
However. it is one the hardest things to do especially in the midst of frustration and confusion. They have good and bad days just like you. They are people too. . You must realize you cannot ignore their feelings. Your child is not with you all day. Sometimes they are at school or various outings you don’t know what kind of day they had. We tend to forget children have their own feelings regardless of the fact that they are kids. It is during these critical times we must take a moment to step back from the situation and see why this is happening.Do you find yourself constantly screaming and yelling or in some state of turmoil? I have more times than I care to admit. if someone was to ignore your feelings about any issue would it change your feelings? No. Just think about it.
BOTTOMLINE . before we get started with homework I let him know that he has 30 minutes of free time before we have to get started with homework which is what I did. He gave me a hug and kiss. I figuratively took a step back and started asking him questions about what was going on. Normally. realizing that I couldn’t just discipline him by giving him a spanking. he told me fine. . Then he started yelling and screaming at me about how I always pushing him around and don’t care about him. Things got out of control pretty quickly. Then we gathered his stuff and headed home.I let him vent and he told me how he had a bad day because he felt like everybody was pushing around. completing homework and getting my son to bed. got our homework done and the rest of the night was uneventful. It is tough and very frustrating because I feel that I constantly work hard to take good care of him. I asked him how his day went. he said I didn’t ask. Then we made up. He wouldn’t cooperate when I told him to get his work done. cooking dinner. When I asked him why he didn’t just say that instead of causing all these problems. I didn’t know where this was coming from. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I was starting to get upset too. Everything was fine until I tried to get him to do his work. Picking him up from after-care was uneventful.Case In Point I remember one day after school and work we arrived home. My day was okay and I was looking forward to relaxing.
We gave goals for our children such as we want them to play sports. learn how to play an instrument. Reducing the . Then life happens. However. etc. we have many roles. Sometimes the things which are preventing us from accomplishing our goals are unforeseen or out of our control. see how you can create a synergy among tasks and activities to get multiple things done at once. we lose focus of these goals without a clue as to how to incorporate them into our life. learn how to read. By this I mean. manage a lot of tasks and many lives. As a Mom. It is important to think ahead regarding sports and academic goals for family. I just want you to see how important it is to step back from chaos and confusion. This is what will keep us and our family focused and calm. Goals are made up of tasks.It is very painful recalling this experience.
In other words. In order for organization by calendar to work. Just remember I am a Mom like you and I am going to share tips with you that will allow you accomplish these goals. The more organized you are. When someone gets penalized for . How Can I incorporate My Family Goals into our Life? First. I know this is easier said than done. if the activity is not on the calendar it will not get done. Part of being organized is maintaining a single family calendar. you must organize your life. and then you will have clear picture of everyone’s schedule on any given day.amount of screaming and yelling on everyone’s part because we know exactly what is expected of us. a play date or sleepover must be listed on the calendar. make sure everyone knows that their activity whether it’s a soccer game. the more you can accomplish.
not having their activity on the calendar. . they will make sure their activity is on the list going forward and everyone else will do the same so they don’t miss their activity.
Also. I called around to various child care facilities to no avail. This entire situation could have been avoided if I had taken the time to plan ahead and not simply assume the school would have space for him in summer camp. After the school year ends. I didn’t have a babysitter in the community or a family member nearby who could help me being that I was new to the community. Needless to say. Boy was I wrong! That statement couldn’t be any further from the truth.Lesson Learned I remember when my son was in Pre-K. . I had a BIG problem. I unintentionally waited until the last minute to sign him up for summer camp because I figured he goes to the school already so of course they will have space for him in summer camp. without child care in place I CANNOT work. and frankly I preferred the child care facility we normally used because of convenience and familiarity. there are several factors to take into consideration: Type of program Costs Location I am a working mom so I am very panicky when I don’t have child care arrangements in place. The camps were either too expensive or had no space. At the time.
we . Use a calendar to organize your schedule 2. planning to sign up for summer camp. Here is what you need: 1. Just trust me. Get a timer Now we all get 24 hours in a day so we must decide how to spend the time. It is not easy to fit all tasks into an already busy schedule. but it is possible. Get a clock 4.Setting goals is not limited to the hopes and dreams you have for your child. During the school year. List the actions you must accomplish 3. helping your child learn to read and preparing them for the next grade in school. It also includes things you need for your child such as new clothes. By deciding how you want to spend the time through actions will help you stay focused and reduce stress.
After we arrive home. .have a pretty busy schedule. I know relaxing seems foreign and hard to believe. including drop off and pick up time. completing homework and RELAXING. I am a working mom so I must get to work on time and get my child to school on time. but we definitely need to relax and so do the kids. This takes up several hours in the day. we must prepare for our nightly ritual before going to bed. Our nightly ritual includes fixing and eating dinner. The hours between 7:30A and 6:00PM.
We need to relax.Daily Routine 1) 6:30AM ─7:30AM: Get ready for work and school 2) 7:30AM ─ 8:30AM: Travel to school. Scenario We catch up on each other’s day in the car on the way home. then work 3) 8:30AM ─ 6:00PM: Get off work and travel to pickup child This is when the schedule gets more interesting and it vital to use your timer to keep everyone on track. Now. eat dinner. 4) 6:00PM ─ 7:00PM: Dinner preparation and relaxation 5) 7:30PM ─ 8:00PM: Eat Dinner 6) 8:00PM ─ 9:00PM : Homework and get ready for bed . get homework done. everyone is home from work and school. spend quality time together and get ready for the next day.
focus. Remember nothing is ever perfect so you must train yourself as well as your kids to work on staying on schedule and getting tasks done.During the relaxation part of our schedule. cooperation and discipline. but there is flexibility here built into having a schedule. I also keep an ear out to see when the timer rings and to keep him on track with the schedule. This may sound rigid. It takes time. I let my son know he has 30 minutes to do whatever he wants before we eat dinner or get started with homework. Then I set the timer and tell him what he will need to do once the timer rings. A schedule helps you in the following ways: 1) Allows you to see the important tasks which must be done 1st 2) Helps you get things done quicker 3) Keeps you focused even if you experience interruptions .
Have you ever heard the expression “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”? Being organized and setting a schedule is hard. Using the suggestions I have outlined in these examples along with help and support from your family will help you get the things you have identified as important done. but is worth the effort to simplify your life. All while reducing stress because you will get more done in less time.Writing down everything that needs to get done in a certain amount of time is vital because when you keep lists in your head it seems like the list is endless. All of your effort will not be in vain because the benefits are exponential. . However when you write a list you accomplish 2 goals: free your mind and you still know exactly what needs to get done. I know this seems like a lot of work and is it. This greatly reduces stress.
I mean we take on their problems as our own even neglecting our own needs. Remember. Of course. before delegating tasks you must consider the person’s age and maturity. If we do. how are they going to learn how to take care of themselves? How do I teach them how to take care of themselves through examples. By getting caught up. then delegating the tasks after you are comfortable with the way your child completes the task individually. don’t lose your patience! What is delegation? It means to allow another person to perform tasks to aid in getting things done. we get so caught up in taking care of everyone else literally and figuratively. . We are responsible for many people. Through delegation we can teach our family to be independent and self-sufficient.Delegating Tasks As a Mom. but we shouldn’t take on everyone’s problem.
Are there any of the tasks on the list that they could start doing for themselves? 4. Meaning the only way they are going to . Let me know what you think of this experiment by leaving a comment on my blog or email me.Experiment! 1. You are helping them help you help themselves. can you teach them to do a portion to help you get more tasks done? I really encourage you start delegating task. Don’t feel guilty about getting your kids involved with helping you. Even if it is tough at first helping your child learn what is expected of him or her. Write them done 3. You will experience less stress and tasks will get completed quicker. Think of several tasks you do for your child 2. If they can’t completely do it alone. the benefits of your family helping you complete tasks is very rewarding and helpful.
The only way to do this is to give them responsibility. As a Mom. This is a process. productive and self-sufficient person.learn responsibility and how to get things done is through experience. you should not run yourself ragged by doing everything. This is not your responsibility. . Your goal as a parent is to teach your child to become independent.
Identify the actions you complete to accomplish your goals 3. Keep a family calendar handy in communal area for everyone to view 4. I want my child to read fluently by age 7 or a particular date • Short term goals – Such as my child is growing out of their clothes and/ or shoes and I need to schedule time to go purchase new ones 2. Use a timer to time tasks .Chapter Cheatsheet 1. Set goals for each family member • Long term goals – For example.
Keep Healthy Food on Hand and Get your Child to Eat It .
then let me explain the benefits further. None of them have had any long term or lasting results because I still had to cook for my family . if parents are obese aren’t the kids too. they have the same diet. I have tried plenty of diets to keep my weight under control.Are you sick of cooking every night? Are you tired of secretly feeding your family fast food on the go most nights? I was. As a result. Your family will also keep their weight under control and eat healthier too even when you are not around. Approximately 30% of the American population is overweight. And just think about it. How would you like it if I showed you a way to eat healthy and keep your weight under control without buying costly expensive foods? If that doesn’t peak your interest. health and taking too much time. After all. I started looking for ways to feed my family without sacrificing taste.
. I like this expression and it fits different situations. Have you ever heard the expression a pound of prevention is worth a pound of cure? I know I mentioned this expression earlier. Life is busy and oftentimes as families we have to eat on the go because we have places to go and appointments to keep. You can make healthy eating choices for you and your family even on the go. So when I started eating regular food again and stopped eating the diet food.and while I was on the diet we didn’t eat the same foods. I would just pile on the pounds again. This doesn’t give us the excuse to just eat anything. What do you think it means in this instance? I understand it as meaning being prepared and preventing problems before they arise will help reduce anxiety and frustration in the long run. Try eating healthy as a family. Here is an idea.
I immediately let my son know that we are going to start eating out once a week instead of 3 nights. let them know you want incorporate a few lifestyle changes and tell them what those changes entail. then eating out on Friday is our reward • Showing the value of money – I also let my son know we cannot afford to eat out all the time. For example.It is important to get everyone involved with the lifestyle changes. I accomplished two goals by doing this: • Incentive – As an incentive. In order to prepare them. I explained to him that we work hard during the week with school for him and work for me. when I started realizing how much money we spent by eating out. Some nights I would have cravings for the bad food we ate or my son would have the craving . He was fairly cooperative. but it was a big adjustment for both of us.
It took about a month for us to get on track and only eat out once a week. my son wanted to buy a bottle of Gatorade. However. For example. I don’t live in a perfect world and I do have to keep reminding him. I do damage control by letting him know what my expectations are upfront. I sometimes gave in. I let him know if he will be able to pick a snack to take to school or buy anything in general. Going to the Store Before we go to the store. I give him a choice.and depending on the day. Oftentimes. I asked him if he wanted the Gatorade or to go to dinner on Friday? He quickly and reluctantly put the Gatorade . If that doesn’t work and he still asks me to buy him something not on the list. I am giving him a heads up that we are not going to buy anything extra. If we lived in a perfect world. I would not have to keep reminding him of our special meal on Friday.
it will not be easy to make these lifestyle changes. This example works for most situations just replace Gatorade with the name of your item. opting to wait to eat out on Friday. Eventually. Physician’s Consultation Remember! To always get a physician’s advice before starting any diet or changes in your diet. but these changes will be proven priceless over time because you will get your child thinking about saving money and making choices. you have to stand your ground no matter how much your child pleads. Only a physician can help you determine what foods work with . It is not easy.down. they will start trying to put items on the list ahead of time or stop asking for extra items so frequently because they know what to expect. Again. Explain why you are not buying the item and help your child buy into your way of thinking.
love well.your dietary concerns and/ or aliments. Let’s Get Started You don’t want to put your family into to shock so inform them that as a family you are going to make some simple lifestyle changes to stay healthy. You will simply eat these things in moderation and watch the size of your portions.” -Virginia Woolf . Eating healthy doesn’t mean you are going to deprive yourself of your guilty pleasures such as cakes. cookies. “One cannot think well. sleep well. if one has not dined well. etc. french fries. brownies. creamy sauces. You get the picture.
I am a picky eater. I said it. Eat plenty of fruits 4. Here are the main ingredients to a healthy lifestyle: 1. That being said. I want to make sure my food tastes good so it is important for you to experiment with various seasonings. Drink plenty of water 2. Portion control 3. Did you know that your bowels can add approximately 5 pounds to your total weight? If that isn’t shocking enough. Okay. This will make your food more enjoyable. Count calories Water is important because it cleans your digestive tract. you body is made up of 55% 74% water? These simple facts should motivate you and your family to drink water because not only is your .
It is important to watch your portions when eating any foods. overeat it on the size of your fist.Ralph Waldo Emerson What is a portion size? To judge the correct size of your portions. The portion at most restaurants including the fast food variety is very large and may cause you to overeat. “The first wealth is health” .body comprised of 59% or more of water. You can eat almost any foods unless there are dietary concerns barring your indulgence as long as you watch your portions. It can help you lose weight. Why would it cause you to overeat? Because it is on .
your plate. I must add we both felt fulfilled and satisfied. Ordinarily we each ordered and ate an entrée without sharing until on one occasion we both were watching our girlish figures and decided to share an entrée as well as dessert. So we didn’t overeat by eating proper portions. I went out to dinner with a friend. And. If you are like me. Our shared meal including dessert came to $21. when you go out to eat you eat all or the majority of the food that is on your plate. For example.98 versus a whopping $42. we ate correct portions to control our weight and saved money. we are constantly on the go whether we are shopping for groceries or doing . we saved money. Fast Food Savvy As Mommy’s we are very busy.23. Creating a synergy by accomplishing 2 goals.
As a matter of fact my favorite food is french fries. I decided I would only eat one slice of pizza and a small or sliver of cake. However. So sometimes we stop at a local fast food restaurant to save time or so we think because we can spend the same amount of time waiting in line whether inside the restaurant or in the drive-thru that we would cooking at home. fast food is okay in moderation.laundry. mozzarella sticks and FRENCH FRIES! Unfortunately. They had pizza and a platter of finger foods which included buffalo wings. How did I do this? I practice moderation instead of deprivation. regularly. It definitely is easy. I remember attending one of my son’s friends birthday party. Don’t get me wrong. but it is not conducive to saving money and weight control. All these tasks are time consuming even though we love to take care of our family. Sure sometimes I just give in to my love of fries by . I was sitting at the table with the food along with several other Moms’.
a combo meal consisting of a hamburger. fries and drink costs approximately $7 for one person. I make sure my next meal is back on the right track. It is also the quality of the food and value for the money. Then. These facts are just based on price. Why? I can buy a meal for 3 for about $25. That’s a whopping $21 for one meal for 3 people. Boston Market has a very good product. I buy a meal plan from Boston Market. For example. This will provide approximately 2 meals for 3 people using proper portions and save cooking time. Synergy! Try spending this amount of money at another fast food restaurant and you will find yourself only with enough to last for one meal.buying a kids sized meal or just fries and a coke. .
In order for this to work. tasty. They are high protein. high fiber recipes which a nutritious. and easy to make.The No-Cooking Work Week I spent many years developing a strategy to save time and money in the kitchen. How it Works You cook one day a week and only eat out one day a week. you must let your family know about the new plan. . This saves a lot of money and time which is very helpful because you have more time to complete homework and reduces your expenses. Believe it or not. but if they know in advance they will have a chance to prepare their mind to get use to the new changes. They may not like it. these are not the run of the mill soup recipes. but stand your ground. It may be tough at first.
Preparation Pick recipes. I practically have my grocery list down to a science by studying the prices on groceries especially meats. one dish clean up and reduce the amount of time spent cooking.I am a big fan of one pot meals which provide a well balanced meal. Make a grocery list. By shopping in bulk at a wholesale club such as Sam’s Club. roasted chicken and pizza. I have several recipes that I use for bulk cooking such as baked ziti. . I am able to buy meats at great prices instead of waiting for a sale at the grocery store. beef roast.
if you don’t already have one. but you should remove the air out of the bag. This reduces anxiety and frustration because you will follow a schedule and know what to expect. Always prepare. Freezer storage bags can be used. My day for meal preparation. cook and store meals on this day to keep a consistent schedule. Pick a day during the week when you are the least busy.Schedule the day you will prepare and cook the food. Removing the air keeps the food fresh longer. Storage. So I know exactly what to expect on Sunday afternoon between 2PM – 4PM. this way you will always know what you are going to do on a certain day and time. To keep your meals fresh it is recommended that you purchase a vacuum sealer. You should pick a time where you can devote 2 hours regularly. cooking and storing is Sunday afternoon. My family .
We have talked about eating healthy on the go and how to save time by preparing 3 large meals weekly. We work on anything as long as it doesn’t interfere with cooking. I encourage you to start dedicating 1 ─ 2 hours a week to dinner preparation. help or use this as study time. at peace and experience less stress.com for more resources. keep me company. . How? When you arrive home instead of trying to figure out what is for dinner while everyone is trying to relax after a busy day. If you follow this suggestion at the very minimum. you will know EXACTLY what your family is going to eat and it will only take minutes to get dinner on the table.knows this is meal planning and time so they can make other plans. you will feel happy. Check out my website http://5lifeskillssmartmomsmusthave. You get the point.
Schedule time to cook meals in advance – block off an hour or 2 for cooking and preparation 2.it save you money and time. we learned about eating healthy and cooking multiple dinners on a specific day so that we can have healthy meals readily available at all times and without taking an absorbent amount of time to cook.Chapter Cheatsheet In this chapter. Here are the important highlights of the chapter: 1. Cook at least 3 large meals at once so you will have plenty of leftovers for lunch and variety at dinner time 3. It will become your best friend . Buy and use a foodsaver .
Know How to Effectively Help Your Child with Homework .
the technology has changed the way we work and play. Thanks to the internet you can learn about any subject and even go to school. I am very big on keeping a schedule and fitting everything in. For example. I recently returned to school. it would have been tougher to . Technology has changed the way we obtain information. you can research anything from prices on groceries to school subjects. If it weren’t for the internet and being able to take college courses via the internet. Just look at how we have constant interruptions on a daily basis such as through cell phones.In recent years. I cannot image how people were able to contact each other only through land lines or house phones after work. It is a very valuable resource which you can use 24/ 7.
I had to stay focused. It wasn’t easy.Albert Einstein It’s not only important to know your learning style for yourself. I was able to continue working and taking care of my family. update my study skills and learn my learning style. By going to school on the internet. Here they are as follows with a brief description: • Auditory – learn by listening . There are 3 learning styles. it’s the key to helping your kids learn.return to school. “Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death” -. organized.
my son learns best by example along with limited oral instruction.• • Visual – learn by seeing Kinesthetic – learn by doing. you will have to determine their learning style by observing what they respond to. For example. does your child understand concepts better when you introduce a concept orally or do they learn better when you show them an example? Or do you need to use a combination of auditory and visual learning methods which would indicate they are a kinesthetic. Once. Kids typically will either have same learning style of either parent or a combination of both. You will be able to get straight to the point and get the work done because your resources will be readily available. you have identified your child’s learning style. Meaning. . This will help you work more efficiently and not waste time when helping your kids with homework. Depending on your kid’s age.
Also. but would be very valuable information. but I can never have enough time and I have a plentiful supply of things to be aggravated about. It will help if the teacher says you child is having problems learning or if you notice you child is having trouble grasping concepts because you will be able to help your child by telling the teacher what methods of learning you use at home. This will give you the experience you need with identifying how learning works.How do you learn your child’s learning style? It may be difficult to determine your child’s learning style. Once you are equipped with your learning . I don’t know about you. To determine your child’s learning style begin by learning your own learning style. it will help you identify quickly what tools will help them learn which will save time and aggravation.
There are some things that are universal to studying such as staying organized. a test only measures how good your memory and study skills are for a certain subject. However.style. . I still think tests are a way to test my intelligence which is why I am very excited when I get a good grade. time management and choosing a place without distractions. Study skills a very important to learning and the quicker you help your kids develop good study habits based on knowing their learning style the better. you will know exactly what you are looking for when trying to figure out your child’s learning style. Tests Tests are used to measure how well you have learned the material.
Before you could only rely on the teacher and the textbook to learn about a subject .Studying and Technology The times have really changed from the times when I was a child and computers were just beginning to become mainstream our school had one 30 computer classroom for 500 students. The only problem is the school system hasn’t changed. Now just about everyone has a computer and the majority of companies have a website. Bottomline – schools needs to come into the 21 century because computers are here to stay and need to be incorporated into the curriculum more. In most schools there are still one computer room and possibly 2 computers in the classroom. These resources allow everyone and anyone to access tools to help them learn about any subject. Textbooks have really changed from when I was growing up as well.
Now textbooks have CD’s and/ or websites which are supplemental resources. Some libraries use their websites. Why is this good you may ask? People who have different leaning styles have access to the same subject presented in a variety of ways. Meaning the subject is explained a different way and/ or contains visual aids. Sometimes when a subject is explained differently. you see it in a different light and either grasps the concept or gain further insight into a topic. This is good because everyone doesn’t express concepts the same way and topics are represented by all of the different learning styles.matter. There is even a website devoted to podcasts teacher’s have made on the web. if they have one. as way for a patron to search their library’s collection . The internet has a plethora of websites on any subject you can imagine.
It allows computers which are connected together to share resources such as files. The whiteboard is where we wrote our question and followed along as the tutor solved the problem. What is a whiteboard? Think of it as a chalkboard. This gave us an example of how to get the work done independently. Do you realize tutoring which is what we . etc. It was really amazing because we chatted with the virtual tutor and shared a whiteboard space on the computer. workspace on the computer.database. Others have expanded their services by offering free tutoring and standardized test preparation tools on the web. Using this free tool the local public library offered was great. I was able to log on to our local library’s website to get help because they offered online tutoring for free through their website. When I helped my cousin who was in 7th grade at the time with his algebra homework. desktop.
and this will mean all your life.received for FREE via the internet costs a lot of money? “Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. you will save time and money because you will not have to pay for the tutoring and gas for transportation. but it will certainly reduce stress. the service may not be free. There are host of companies which offer online tutoring.” Henry L Doherty If you are lucky and your local library offers free tutoring via the internet. save time and money. . Be a student so long as you still have something to learn.
It stands for Survey. I personally used these methods for myself and my son. we will look at study skills and notetaking because all of your effort will be in vain if your child doesn’t know how to organize their notes. Notes need to organized and easily lend themselves to review later.2 This is a very effective because you learn while taking notes. Read. Here is how it works: .Study Skills and Notetaking We have discussed the importance of knowing your child’s learning style so you can easily help them pick study tools more effective. The SQR3 method consists of 5 steps and uses active learning. Recite/Write and Review. utilizing everyone’s time more wisely by using the right tools. The two most efficient methods are the SQR3 and the Cornell Method. especially when they are used in conjunction with one another. Question. Now.
2. pictures and any questions at end of the chapter or sections. Survey – Resist the urge to read. charts. Make sure you use your . Recite/ Write – Write a summary of each section using your own words. This includes section heading. as well. 3. Read – Read each section in the chapter and make notes as you go.Ask yourself what this chapter is about: What is the question that this chapter is trying to answer? What questions do I have answer about this chapter? Repeat this process with each subsection of the chapter. Question . turning each heading into a question.1. The key is to try to answer the question the section is proposing. This is active learning. 4. instead examine entire chapter.
Review – Review your notes and try to answer the questions while covering one side of the paper. Just put a line about 2/3 away from the margin on the paper. It is very simple.owns words because it will help you retain more of the information. 5. Here is an example: . The next study method we are going to look at is the Cornell Method.3 This method works exceptionally well with the SQR3 method because it divides the questions and the answer so that you can easily test yourself about the material. One the left hand side of the paper closest to the margin put whatever questions you have along with the answers on the other side of the ling.
When these two study methods are used in conjunction with one another. Check out my website http://5lifeskillssmartmomsmusthave. I returned to school when my son was 3. I know you must think I am crazy because you know how active a 3 year old is. . The beauty of it is that most of your studying takes place as you are writing the notes. you know I have to use my time effectively always. you have an effective study plan in place. Therefore.com for more resources. I made all A’s and B’s because I was able to easily review my notes when it was time to study.
It is important to know your learning style 2. Technology has change the way we learn and when used in combination with the knowledge of our learning style we can learn more effectively. we learned how computers and the internet has changed many aspects of our lives.Chapter Cheat sheet In this chapter. Use technology such as textbook CD’s and the internet to help your child with homework . Here are the important highlights of the chapter: 1. Determine what your child’s learning style is 3.
Get to Know the True Value of Money .
If you are like me. What do you value? What do you spend your hard earned money on? No one is watching so you can answer yourself honestly. Now let’s look at this another way. So I need to watch how I spend every penny. The same holds true regarding what you spend your money on. In 2005 the average American earned $40. Let’s face it. time is money and by saving time we are saving money. I feel that I work hard for my money.000 a year. Some people are fortunate enough to make more and . whatever you spend your time on determines what you value.Throughout this book we have identified ways to save time by creating shortcuts into our life to make life easier. Meaning whatever you spend your money on determines what you value.
Understanding how much you make on an hourly basis even if you are salaried helps you identify how much money you really bring home. We are going to use this figure for illustrative purposes. After having my son and seeing how much things such pampers. I wasted my money on eating out a lot and buying way too . I realized I had wasted a lot of money before he was born.46 net depending on your tax bracket. The REAL Value of Money A $40. This will help you get a clearer picture on making a realistic budget.23 gross weekly is approximately $538. Then looking at my personal expenses.000 yearly salary is $769. clothes and shoes cost for him.some people earn far less. I am putting a lot of emphasis on making a realistic budget because this will help you realize how much money you have take care of you expenses and to save.
Salary recap: Net (take home pay) $538. you too will benefit from determining how much you earn by the hour because you will be able to place a value on your time. time is money. . In order to calculate an average hourly rate.many clothes. The answer is $13.46 hourly. After all as the saying goes.46 Even if you are fortunate enough to work as a salaried employee.46 weekly salary by 40 hours. We will use 40 hours because it is a standard work week. This is lost money that I could have used to buy a house and/ or save for retirement.46 Hourly rate $ 13. divide the $538.
The median rent is $700. clothing and food. we will come up with some real world figures to see how much we need for basic expenses. Just by existing. living takes money. These times are Christmas and Vacation to prepare for these times it is a good choice to open a Christmas and/ or Vacation club account. It is a fact of life. To . average monthly grocery bill is $400 Planning for Spending There are certain times of the year where your spending will be more than normal and not comprised of necessary expenses. your basic needs are a place to stay.The REAL Price of Purchases Now that we have placed a value on your time. we have the tools needed to determine how many hours you need to work to make a purchase or pay for expenses. By calculating your expenses.
You get the picture.determine how much you want to put into the account. etc. you accomplish 3 goals: • • • Savings for Christmas in small increments Reduced anxiety at Christmas time Lump sum when needed. simply setup the account and begin saving. Let’s say you get 26 paychecks per year and need $520 for holiday shopping. a computer. Setting up an automatic . estimate how much you plan to spend during these times and divide the number by the amount of times you get paid. Most banks offer Christmas and Vacation Club accounts which will allow you to set up automatic deductions. By having $20 deducted automatically from each paycheck. This is one example of how you can save for larger expenditures such as vacations. This will give you the amount of money you should have deducted per paycheck to reach your goal. Christmas.
paying these expenses via the phone or the internet save time and oftentimes money.42. For example. if I use my credit card to pay my utility bill by credit card my processing fee goes up to a whopping $5. I can pay my utility bill via phone or internet costs $. groceries. and mortgage or rent.deduction is very beneficial because you can set up the account and fund it without thinking about it.35. utilities. you do the math which is more economical? . Now. if I use my checking account. However. the same price of a stamp currently. This task is something I do in between commercial breaks or while helping with homework without the wait of it being delivered by mail. Monthly Expenses Reoccurring monthly expenses are inevitable such as phone.
.Watch out for fees when paying bills via the phone or internet.BOTTOMLINE -.
Chapter Cheatsheet I hope you got some important tips from this chapter. but getting organized in small ways will help you tackle heavier issue regarding money. There many great books regarding finances out there. This is a complex topic. The key points are as follows: 1. . Know exactly how much you are spending 2. Whether you read this chapter or not reading this chapter cheatsheet will help you understand what the chapter is about and how it fits into your life. They happen to be my favorite. Paying bills via the internet and phone can save time as well as money Check out books by Suze Orman and Robert Kiyosaki to get more information about money.
Where do you go from here? .
when you get off track. You will feel refreshed and be able to refocus. then seek ways to improve tomorrow. then quiet your mind. discipline and concentration to get organized. It will take focus. Any change you implement will be difficult in the beginning. . you will get ideas on how to modify the tips to suit your purpose. review your list to get refocused. You must be realistic if you want to make changes to improve you and your family’s life. Also. How? By taking a 3 minute vacation. If the day doesn’t go as you expect. Just a word of caution. set a timer and sit in a quiet place only thinking good thoughts for 3 minutes. Rome was not built in a day so take on day at time. This will change you mindset and attitude for the better.Get started! I promise you that even if these tips do not work for you exactly as presented. If you start to get overwhelmed and are getting too easily distracted.
Know your learning style 8. Keep healthy meals readily available 7. Identify your goals as a person and a mom 3. family goal setting. Create a task list so they can help you achieve goals A task list is comprised of actions you need to do to complete your goals. Identify resources which matches your child’s learning style and grade level 10. Identify the goals you have for your family as a whole and individually 4. Create a task list so that you can achieve your goals 5. Find out your child’s learning style 9. Develop a system for paying bills 11. 6. healthy . Set aside 3 minutes a day to clear and quiet your mind 2.Here is a checklist so that you can get off to a quickstart: 1. Re-evaluate your plan and modify what is not working for you The 5 areas of life which Mom must get under control are personal goal setting.
It most cases. I like whatever grade my son is in is the grade I am in. homework and finances. you will have a way to get back on track by reviewing your plan. All Moms want what is best for their kids. A plan keeps your goals in the forefront so that when you get side tracked and distracted. Now that I know we are both kinesthetic learners. You can modify your favorite recipes to be healthier so that you can keep your family’s weight under control. here you will have a plan or purpose. which happens to everyone. By using the tools you learned. When it comes to eating it is important to adapt a healthy lifestyle because approximately 20% of all Americans are obese. it is much easier.eating. I make sure I know what textbook he’s . how you modify the recipe will lead to saving money. Homework time is the source of much distress for me.
It is important to know the value of money. I am happy to share them with you. you can decide whether or not it is worth your hard earned money. Sometimes you get online tutoring free through your local library or use a free trial to see which company you like best. A website is great to use especially if it reads information to your child and gives examples because it is addressing all of the learning styles. and then I find out if they have a website. It also addresses all of the learning styles. Most textbooks have a website offering free resources which compliment their textbook. If it wasn’t for my mom . This will help you make aware of how much you are spending for things. These tips have been very beneficial to me.using in school. Online tutoring is another alternative to homework help. Once you know how much it is really costing you.
Now. .com for more resources on how to get organized and relieve stress.and grandmother taking the patience and time to share these organization tips with me. I don’t know what I would have done. I have time for myself which is important to me and I enjoy the time I spend with my family despite the challenges of everyday living. Check out my website at http://5lifeskillssmartmomsmusthave. Make sure you sign up for my newsletter.
Harpercollins College Div. don't leave out the 'me time' . html>. Entertainment & Video News. 2001. 2 May 2008. 25 Feb.cnn. How to study in college. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co.com. Linda..CNN. "Moms.S. 1970 .Bibliography 1 Saether. Walter. 3 Robinson.moms/index." CNN..com/2008/HEALTH/05/02/hfh. U. World. 2009 <http://www.com . 2 Pauk. Effective Study. Weather.Breaking News. Francis Pleasant.
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