CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE. (aka UNT.

DAN FOGELMAN)

by Dan Fogelman

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WARNER BROS. PICTURES INC. 4000 Warner Boulevard Burbank, California 91522

February 19, 2010 © 2010 WARNER BROS. ENT. All Rights Reserved

FADE IN: 1 INT. FRENCH RESTAURANT (PASADENA, CA) - EVENING Soft music. A classy joint. Below the tables, WE PAN well-heeled feet nuzzling. Finally we SETTLE ON: A PAIR OF FEET WHITE SNEAKERS sitting opposite FANCY HIGH HEELS. feet aren’t nuzzling. There’s distance here. These * * 1 * *

PULL UP, REVEALING CAL WEAVER (42) and his wife, TRACY (41). A handsome couple. He’d be JFK to her Jackie O... if he gave a shit. Unfortunately, he doesn’t (i.e.: white sneakers in fancy French restaurant). Cal pulls out READING GLASSES, looks at the menu. CAL Well, I’m full. You were right, hon. I shouldn’t have eaten all that bread. (then) Want to just share a dessert? Tracy is lost in thought, gazing at a menu. CAL You okay, babe? You seem out of it. TRACY Yeah, I’m just thinking about what I want. CAL Me too. Okay, let’s say it at the same time. One. Two. Three... TRACY I want a divorce. CAL Creme Brulee. CUT TO: 2 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (PASADENA) - SAME EVENING JESSICA (17) chases after MOLLY (9). Jessica’s skinny, wears glasses, a hipster T-shirt. In five years, she’s going to make all the boys’ heads spin. But not yet. 2

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(CONTINUED)

2. 2 CONTINUED: 2

JESSICA I’m gonna getcha! I’m gonna getcha! She grabs Molly and tickles her. Molly SQUEALS with delight. As she kicks... SMASH! A picture falls off the nearby console. Jessica picks it up: ON SMASHED PHOTO Cal and Tracy. BACK TO SCENE JESSICA It’s okay, my fault. (then) Alright, kiddo, it’s getting late, let’s get you to bed before your parents get home. Don’t give me the puppy eyes, you little maniac. Go brush your teeth! Molly GIGGLES, RUNS upstairs. Once Molly’s gone, Jessica looks at the photo. She eyes Cal affectionately. CUT TO: 3 INT. BAR Meanwhile, TWO YOUNG PROFESSIONAL WOMEN drink and laugh at a table. HANNAH (24) is clearly buzzed. HANNAH I don’t care. I love him and given the opportunity, I’d have his babies. Her best friend, LIZ (29), LAUGHS. LIZ Seriously? Conan O’Brien? do Conan O’Brien? You’d 3 This is their house.

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HANNAH I’m just saying, Richard’s a lot of things: successful, smart... LIZ Boring, workaholic, sexually repressed...
(CONTINUED)

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dazed. She motions off to the side. you want funny.. She smiles. CAL AND TRACY’S HOUSE Meanwhile. He turns to her. that’s all. you have nothing to say? She looks at him. A “togo” box from the French restaurant in his lap. stops himself. You want a good lay. (CONTINUED) * 4 5 * * . Tracy drives. It’s silent. TRACY Aren’t you going to say anything? Nothing. then.. He tilts his glass at them. puts her ear to the door. CUT BACK TO: 5 INT. go get yourself some of. that. LIZ Yeah. go watch ‘Cosby’ reruns. Jessica (the baby-sitter) stops at a bedroom door. She hears MUSIC coming from inside. What? HANNAH * LIZ The hot piece that’s been checking you out for the last hour. The smoothest. Cal sits in the passenger seat.3. TRACY Almost twenty-five years of marriage. Turns back forward. Devastating. LEXUS SUV Meanwhile. toasting. about to say something. well. 4 INT.. THE CROWD PARTS. coolest son-of-a-bitch you’ve ever seen.. It’s awful. revealing: JACOB PALMER (32). knocks and opens the door at the same time. It’s Lady Gaga. 3 CONTINUED: 3 HANNAH But he’s not very funny.

you’ve resorted to fantasizing about Conan ‘GingerDick’ O’Brien. what.. Hell. BAR Meanwhile. You’ve never left LA. I just worry about you is all. You pass the bar you’re gonna be. BACK INSIDE ROOM Robbie lies there frozen. ROBBIE Close the door! BACK TO JESSICA who slams the door shut. PG-13. LIZ I don’t know. JESSICA (through door) I’m sorry. Your life 6 * * He was * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) .. 5 CONTINUED: 5 JESSICA Hey. probably married to that snooze-fest Richard. quickly covers himself up. is just so. just checking you’re alive -She SCREAMS as -ANOTHER ANGLE ROBBIE WEAVER (13). your sister’s asleep. masturbating. Hannah. HANNAH My life is not PG-13! LIZ It so is. horrified.4. a patent lawyer. I swear. 6 INT. Robbie! I didn’t see anything. where Liz and Hannah keep drinking. Hannah’s mouth drops open.

S. Who? They turn.5. Hi. HANNAH How old are you? JACOB Thirty-three next month. JACOB Pretty sure I did. JACOB I think your friend Hannah is sexy. HANNAH You didn’t really just say that.) * It’s Jacob Palmer (the stud from earlier). uninvited. 6 CONTINUED: 6 HANNAH (adorable) He’s funny. My friend Hannah thinks he’s sexy. not a cheesy pick-up line. Hannah LAUGHS. HANNAH Then you should know by now that cheesy pick-up lines don’t work. JACOB I find you incredibly sexy. (MORE) * (CONTINUED) . Hannah LAUGHS. honey. LIZ JACOB Who looks like a carrot? * LIZ Conan O’Brien. LIZ He looks like a carrot. Hi. VOICE (O. It’s a fact. Jacob sits down at their table.

HANNAH You’ve got to be kiddi-JACOB We’ll make love and it will be amazing. 6 CONTINUED: (2) JACOB (CONT'D) There are many attractive women in this bar -. without thinking about your answer: do you find me attractive? 6 Hannah doesn’t flinch. Again: not a cheesy pick-up line. * * (CONTINUED) . I don’t. (then) Answer this quickly.including your friend here -.just enough to start losing inhibitions. HANNAH JACOB LIZ JACOB I’m an accomplished lover. Yes you do. only you. Multiple times. just a fact. If you come home with me. not enough to get sloppy. You’ll laugh afterwards and say ‘I never do this kind of thing.and I’ve been unable to take my eyes off you. we’ll have one more cocktail each -. she does. I am confident you will leave satisfied. for the past two hours.’ Then you’ll do it again. LIZ Multiple times. So now I’m going to ask if I can buy you another drink.6. If you say yes. Yes. after all: I promised to satisfy you. Is that so? HANNAH * * * JACOB It is.

time to go. So.. I don’t give a crap -Liz! HANNAH * LIZ (whispering to him) Another time. Tracy looks at Cal. maybe that’s good. Maybe that’s good. LIZ I’ll go home with you. you’re not talking and you know that only makes me talk more. LEXUS SUV Still driving. 6 CONTINUED: (3) 6 JACOB That’s right. you can call me Hannah. TRACY Okay. Cal. here we go. Liz doesn’t move.. He remains silent. Okay. grabs her coat and Liz’s hand. GIGGLING.. HANNAH What do you expect me to say to that? JACOB Margarita. you know? He keeps staring straight ahead. stagnant. Hannah: can I buy you a drink? Hannah and Liz share a look. (MORE) * * * * * (CONTINUED) . Wow. I’ve tried not to be. HANNAH Okay. We’ve been married so long.7. the girls leave the bar. HANNAH She STANDS. 7 TRACY I’m unhappy. salt. maybe. somewhere we became. rocks. 7 INT..

I SLEPT with someone. Tracy opens one eye. No reaction. No response.. There. I slept with someone. TRACY (CONT'D) 7 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * TRACY We’ve been spending time together. I said it. TRACY No.. Lunches. no kind of. that kind of stuff. I slept with SOMEONE. taking a peek. Silence. I can’t believe I said kind of. I’m going to get out of the car. (CONTINUED) . You met him at the Christmas party. Nothing. meetings.8. Cal speaks -Please stop... She closes her eyes tightly. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done but it feels so good to say out loud. TRACY I slept with him. please say something. You remember that party? They had the giant paper-maché wreath? I kept asking the decorator how he made it? You wore that sweater -Finally. please stop me. Kind of. From work. 7 CONTINUED: (then) There’s this person. I slept with . Oh God. CAL * * * * * TRACY The last person in the world I’d ever want to hurt was you. I slept with someone. I slept with someone. Cal -CAL If you keep talking. That’s just not something you do in a kind of way. TRACY David Jacobowitz.

I’ll sign whatever you want me to sign. STREET . Cal OPENS THE DOOR to the moving car and. 7 CONTINUED: (2) 7 TRACY But the fact that I did. I think it just shows how broken we are and -Okay. steps out. She touches his bloody forehead. THE WEAVER HOUSE Meanwhile. ROBBIE I’m sorry that you had to see that. He’s a precocious. She screeches to a stop as he tumbles to the curb in her rearview mirror. 8 EXT. Robbie ENTERS. Tracy SCREAMS as Cal goes flying. CAL I’ll leave tonight. (CONTINUED) 9 . simply. BLOODIED but okay.9.CONTINUOUS ACTION Tracy runs to him. TRACY CAL There’s He stands. stands there. CAL * * * Just like that. pleading. Okay. He’s on the curb. affectionate. thirteen-year-old. JESSICA I should have knocked. that it could happen at all. adorable. limps back to the car. masturbation-addicted. 8 * TRACY Are you out of your mind!? He looks up at her. 9 INT. Okay. if you’ll just stop talking about it. Jessica sits on the living room couch. still something here. She keeps staring straight ahead.

LIZ (O. and I know I just turned thirteen. Weaver.. How was dinner.) ROBBIE Jessica jumps off the couch. you’re bleeding.. JESSICA Listen. She stops. Mr. looks at him and smiles gently. ROBBIE For the record: I think about you while I do it -Robbie! JESSICA ROBBIE I have a picture of you and I look at it the whole time -Stop it! JESSICA ROBBIE I love you.. (noticing) Oh my God. And I know you’re seventeen. Robbie -JESSICA * * ROBBIE I’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate. and you’re technically my babysitter. After a long beat.S. and Mrs. Robbie -We’re home. Mr. Shit. which is the same age as your little brother.10. Why are you bleeding? (CONTINUED) . Jessica.. but someday soon our age difference will be inconsequential which is good because. 9 CONTINUED: 9 Silence. Weaver. JESSICA Hi.

Awkward. you got your coat? Uh-huh.LATER Cal drives now. CAL Thanks.11. Finally. * ROBBIE You’re getting divorced? Yes. Come on. Cal starts talking to himself. ROBBIE CAL I didn’t know you were here. 9 CONTINUED: (2) 9 CAL Mrs. Dad? Oh. Almost shellshocked. Jessica in the front. Weaver told me she wants a divorce so I jumped out of the car. ROBBIE I’m sorry you jumped out of a car. Cal! CAL TRACY ROBBIE And you jumped out of a car? CAL A moving car. (then) Jessica. Cal! TRACY CAL (to Robbie) I’m sorry you found out this way. LEXUS SUV . yes. Hope the kids behaved. JESSICA 10 * (CONTINUED) . 10 INT. I’ll drive you home. Robbie steps INTO FRAME.

I hear Stanford early admission.. CAL David Jacobowitz! Are you kidding me!? DAVID FUCKING JACOBOWITZ! GOD DAMN HER! He calms down. but I’ve been babysitting for your family for three years. huh. JESSICA She takes a Jessica reaches for the door. Yeah. 10 CONTINUED: 10 CAL We’ll talk to the kids tomorrow. Weaver. I know your dad is so proud. adorable. Uch.12. But not right now. Out of nowhere. then he remembers his company and turns toward Jessica. JESSICA Mr. You’re the nicest dad of any of the families I baby-sit for. JESSICA * (then) You’re bleeding real bad. Pulls up to a DRIVEWAY. It’s okay. she’s gonna be crushed. by a country mile. I know you don’t know me very well. Mr.. CAL (with energy) So. He trails off. Weaver. He thinks. Another long beat of silence. Just separating. She goes to touch his eye. * CAL Sorry about that.. slowly. but stops. She’s got enough to worry about. Tell them we’re separating. CAL I’ll have to tell Nanna. he starts BANGING THE SHIT out of his steering wheel.. (MORE) (CONTINUED) . We’ll do it together. deep breath.

13. 10 CONTINUED: (2) JESSICA (CONT'D) You’re funny, and you’re always really generous, and you’re the only dad who’s excited -genuinely excited -- to check on his kids when he gets home from dinner. Now I like Mrs. Weaver, I like her a lot, but if she wants to divorce you, well... then I think she’s batshit crazy. 10

Cal smiles, distracted but grateful. JESSICA In fact -- and, I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable -I think I’ve even developed a little crus-CAL (not listening) Hey: do me a favor -- can you not mention what’s going on between Mrs. Weaver and I to your parents? It’s probably better they hear it from us. Okay? Uh-huh. JESSICA

*

CAL That’s my girl. Jessica awkwardly gets out of the car. Hey, Jessica? listening. CAL Thanks for

She smiles, turns back. She freezes when she sees... He’s holding CASH out the window to pay her. CAL You put this to that fake ID you’ll need up at Stanford. And with a sad wink, he drives off -- leaving her standing there, lovelorn and forty-five dollars richer. CUT TO: 11 INT. BAR - LATER Cal sits at the bar, drinking away his sorrows. He’s disheveled, a bit wobbly. He motions for the BARTENDER.
(CONTINUED)

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14. 11 CONTINUED: 11

BARTENDER Another vodka cranberry? Yes. CAL Just... yes.

A GIRL (30s) approaches the bar. Cal taps her shoulder, a drunken train-wreck waiting to happen. Guess what? What? CAL GIRL

CAL My wife is having intercourse with someone who isn’t me. GIRL I’m sorry to hear that. CAL That’s very nice of you to say. She just told me tonight, obviously it came as a bit of a shock and you’re not listening anymore. The Girl has turned back to a group of friends. CAL I bet you wouldn’t ignore me if I were David Jacobowitz. My wife doesn’t ignore David Jacobowitz. (to no one) She screws him. Something catches Cal’s eye across the bar. JACOB PALMER wearing his two thousand dollar suit, he’s now got TWO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN fawning over him at his table. Cal takes him in for a long beat, turns back to the bartender, and decides: (re: CAL Jacob) * * * * * * * We PAN TO... *

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Gay.

15.

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EXT. CORPORATE APARTMENT - MORNING You know these places: basically a “strip” of identical housing units -- usually occupied by newly-divorced dads. A WOMAN (60s) gives Cal the tour. WOMAN So it’s pretty no-frills. Unit 2 is a lot like unit 1 except you’re downstairs so... the ground is closer. Which is nice.

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INT. CORPORATE APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER The most depressing, empty, beige place ever. CAL I guess the price is right. WOMAN Yeah, well, tons of divorced guys here. You’ll fit right in. Cal SIGHS, un-enthused. I’ll take it. CAL

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WOMAN Ooh, the gym has an elliptical machine... I assume you want to get back in shape? Cal looks down, embarrassed. I guess. CAL

WOMAN Great! I’ll let you know when they fix it. 14 INT. OFFICE - AFTERNOON Cal sits at his desk, doing paperwork. His BOSS ENTERS. 14

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BOSS Cal, I just got the weekly sales report, good good good! You really killed this quarter! (MORE)
(CONTINUED)

calling after) It could have been cancer. He pats the adjacent piece. Thank God. 14 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 15 He’s * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) CAL Who told you Tracy and I were getting a divorce? BOSS (relieved) Divorce! That’s it. Cal processes this. A SALESMAN APPROACHES. sir? CAL My wife is sleeping with David Jacobowitz. CAL I want it in beige. faux-modern couch. Amy heard you crying in the bathroom. SALESMAN Can I help you. Cal stands. CAL SALESMAN Get the matching chaise. FURNITURE STORE . SALESMAN Ooh. I need a couch. 14 CONTINUED: BOSS (CONT'D) Keep it up you’re going to be sitting in my seat by year’s end. I understand. one divorced man to another? If you don’t mind? Sure. CAL I have to go buy furniture now. EXITS.LATER Cal is sitting on a plain. Can I give you a word of advice. buddy! 15 INT. . Seriously. staring into space.16. We all thought it was cancer. Cal. Really great. killer deal. BOSS Go for it! (then.

16 INT. BATHROOM . Any advice? Yeah. walks away.LATER Cal pees. my wife is screwing David Jacobowitz so eat me. and stands. Jacob steps INTO FRAME in the adjacent urinal. CAL (too loud) Yeah. Nothing. BAR . puts a napkin on his drink. no. Multiple women. in the process. I’m waiting for a friend. He looks across the bar.17. 15 CONTINUED: 15 SALESMAN I’ll write you up. He looks absolutely exhausted. I’m sorry. amazed at this guy’s chutzpah. well.NIGHT Cal’s back at the bar. Gonna be single again. Cal looks at his watch. Cal does a friendly “I’m peeing next to you” nod. Or. Cal shakes his head. A GUY grabs the open bar stool next to Cal. CAL I’m getting divorced. Jacob is now wooing a NEW WOMAN. The guy shrugs. CAL JACOB 17 16 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) . Then: CAL Can’t help but notice that you’re always surrounded by women. 17 INT. Jacob doesn’t even turn. CAL Oh. At his usual table. sipping on his drink. Cal reacts. GUY You’ve been holding the seat for an hour.

obviously. I’ve called you a few times. EXITS. (CONTINUED) * * * * A beat. DISSOLVE TO: 18 INT. then: * * * * * 18 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * . washes his hands. 17 CONTINUED: 17 Jacob zips. CAL It’s good to see you. Hey. man. He’s carrying a SHOPPING BAG. looks uncomfortable. BERNIE Sorry I’m late. An oak tree of a man. CAL Don’t worry about it. He walks away.18. when’s the last time we played racquetball? BERNIE Claire won’t let me be friends with you anymore. I chose you. here. I had to pick something up from Macy’s. we should play racquetball. Nothing I could use more than my old pal Bernie to unload on. Cal takes this in. BAR . She said no. CAL I’m sorry.LATER Cal’s a few drinks in now. It’s been a rough couple of days. sit. I’ve been guarding this stool with my life. The door to the bar opens as BERNIE (late 40s) rushes in. Bernie sits. turns. flushes. CAL (to himself) So gay. JACOB Don’t start conversations with people while they’re pissing. what? BERNIE She said we had to choose between you and Tracy.

18 CONTINUED: 18 He pulls a WRAPPED PACKAGE from the bag. BACK TO CAL As the Bartender pours him a second shot. BERNIE * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * CAL Are you breaking up with me? BERNIE Claire’s waiting in the car. Rumpled hair. I hate both of her two favorite things. gets up and walks away. Dad khakis. He raises a finger at the Bartender. She nods.19. martini in hand. (CONTINUED) . Um. Cal turns. The white sneakers. He says something to THE WOMAN who currently sits at the table. Cal is left alone. ON JACOB Legs crossed. dress shirt. CAL This is my youngest. Sorry. then simply turns and EXITS. Jesus Christ. lingers a beat too long. makes is practiced. sees Jacob. Bad navy blue dress socks. untucked. Her two favorite things are High School Musical and her mother. Molly. An ill-fitting. He PANS UP from Cal’s feet. hands it to Cal. CAL Do you have anything with a worm in it? Because I’d like a gallon of that now. He pats Cal on the shoulder. there’s a gift receipt in there.. Bernie stands. awkwardly. he’s been watching Cal get dumped this whole time. Half-lidded eyes. He’s now showing pictures from his wallet to the Bartender. Every move Jacob * * * * Jacob motions for Cal to come over. A SHARP WHISTLE interrupts. It’s cologne. perfectly cool.. Jacob shakes his head.

(CONTINUED) . I don’t need this crap -Sit down. I’ve heard. Cal. JACOB Let me buy you a drink. I’ve watched you batter every poor soul in this bar with your sad-sack loser sob story. Cal Wea-JACOB CAL Cal * JACOB I’d like to buy you a drink. He STANDS. Okay. yes. Cal. and wobbles over towards Jacob.” SHRUGS. * Jacob’s that powerful. Okay. CAL Cal SITS.20. Jacob Palmer. Cal. Cal sits. CAL My wife is cheating on me with -JACOB David Jacobowitz. For the last two nights. JACOB CAL Cal’s that drunk. * CAL You know what. 18 CONTINUED: (2) 18 Cal points at himself: ”Me?” Jacob nods: ”Yep. Cal. stands. Cal takes this in. CAL I already have a drink. Jacob motions to the Bartender who NODS. We’ve all heard.

Jacob holds up a finger. So if you want. getting drunk on watered down vodka-cranberries like a fourteenyear-old girl. so I’m going to help you. who cares why? Why doesn’t matter. it’s the truth. and you need to hear it. I’ve been watching you for two days now and I can say.21. I don’t know why. that you are the sorriest man I’ve ever seen in my life -. wearing a 41R jacket when you should be wearing a 40L -. so it’s wildly important that you don’t answer until I’ve finished and you’ve taken a few moments to process what I’m saying. and I’m bored as hell and need a project.” * * * * * * (CONTINUED) . Cal stops drinking from the wimpy red straw. Cal. Jacob continues: JACOB As I said. it’s probably the best offer you’re ever going to get. Do you understand? Cal goes to answer. Cal. JACOB You asked me for advice before. without hesitation. I’m going to help you rediscover your manhood. and a good head of hair. Maybe all my friends have abandoned me for wives and children and labradoodle puppies. Cal. Maybe I’m just bored.don’t interrupt.I don’t know if I want to help you or euthanize you -. You’re sitting there with your Supercut haircut. 18 CONTINUED: (3) 18 JACOB Cal. and you’re extremely drunk. Do you remember when it was that you lost it? Cal shakes “no. Once he’s settled. Cal stops himself. I’m going to make you an offer. The point is.stop drinking out of the goddamn straw. you’ve got a good face.

19 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) . Thursday. Yeah. JACOB You ready to go? She nods.. What do you say? Cal stares at him blankly. almost uses the straw. 19 EXT. then catches himself. we’ll find it. An oft-used barbecue next to the house. what? Jacob downs his drink. the site of many father-son catches. A long beat of silence. That’s my offer. Cal goes for a drink. CAL JACOB Mall food court. Baseball equipment lays all over. You can tell it hasn’t been used in quite some time. picks up his drink. six o’clock. You can tell a lot about this family from seeing this backyard. CAL I’m sorry. when I’m through with you. bordered by shrubs and bushes. 18 CONTINUED: (4) 18 JACOB Doesn’t matter. He puts down the drink. You like this family a lot from seeing this backyard.DAY (ONE WEEK LATER) A well-maintained yard. carrying a BOX. subservient. Cal shakes his head. and follows him out. He loads it into the U-haul and takes a last look back at: HIS BACKYARD A weathered playground sits off to the side. that wife of yours is going to rue the day she decided to give up on you too early. nods at THE WOMAN (now nearby). A medium-sized U-HAUL is parked in the driveway.. Cal EXITS the back door.22. And when we do. THE WEAVER BACKYARD . and slurps the rest of his vodka cranberry out of the straw. okay. A long driveway runs parallel to the yard. Looks up.

stop smiling. 19 CONTINUED: 19 Cal? TRACY (O. She’s wearing sweats. Shit. wipes her eyes and tries to lighten things. TRACY I just wanted to say that. Neither knows what to say. CAL TRACY You have trouble in reverse is all. She realizes this. Tracy approaches. I’ll get the kids so they can see the place. TRACY She gathers herself. Tracy looks at the U-HAUL.) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Then they realize. in rhythm for a moment. Awkward silence. TRACY Do you want me to back that thing out of the driveway for you? I’ll be fine. (CONTINUED) . There’s something harsh and complicated about the reality of it all. It’s pretty obvious that she’s been crying. Tracy’s voice stops him.S.23. CAL It was two times -TRACY Three if you count my father’s foot. Her voice cracks. CAL I did that on purpose.. He walks to the truck. Cal steps forward. TRACY They smile. Instinct tells him to comfort his wife but he can’t anymore and he stops himself. Cal turns awkwardly. * * * * * * Cal looks up. CAL Once I’m settled. I knew it.. She turns away.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) .. She takes a deep breath. And I don’t know when you and I stopped being ‘us’ but. TRACY We got married so young. And I’m forty-one.like really upset. not once every two months. not for a long time. Not twice a month.24. I mean. TRACY And I got really upset with an umpire at Molly’s t-ball game last month -.and I started feeling like the person I promised I wouldn’t turn into. TRACY In the movies it’s always men having them and buying ridiculous yellow Porsches. but I’m not a man and I really don’t want a yellow Porsche -CAL You have to fertilize once a month. you know? CAL If it rains a lot. like I screamed at him and wished he would die -. you need to shut off the automatic setting. 19 CONTINUED: (2) 19 TRACY I think I’m have a mid-life crisis maybe. do you? Cal finally turns and looks at her. CAL The sprinklers turn off behind you. Cal. TRACY And we haven’t been us. finding her balance. Can women have mid-life crisis? CAL (avoiding engagement) Make sure the lawn gets enough water. And that’s so much older than I thought I’d be..

baby.25. CAL Listen. it’s not what either of us wanted. beige apartment... MOLLY Don’t you love us anymore? Cal takes Molly’s face in his hands. not what either of us planned. and backs out.. Ouch. Cal turns. you’ll visit all the time.EVENING Cal leads in Molly and Robbie. A pathetic TV plays the Disney Channel in the corner. (MORE) (CONTINUED) * * * * * * * * * * * 20 * * * * * * . CAL Okay. It won’t be that bad. but. 19 CONTINUED: (3) 19 CAL I think it was when you screwed David Jacobowitz. starts tearing up. you’re like. Come on now.. hey. And immediately crashes into the neighboring FENCE. actually going to live here? Molly looks like she’s going to cry. They look around his depressing. Every weekend. but she nods: she also understands it.. CORPORATE APARTMENT . Tracy’s face registers the blow.. well. this is it.. CAL Hey. What’s happening with your mommy and I. What do you think? Didn’t have a lot of time to house-hunt. 20 INT. gets in the U-HAUL. CAL Make sure my azaleas get enough sun. CAL There’s a second bedroom with twin beds so you two can stay over whenever you want! Anytime! ROBBIE So..

ROBBIE Can I say something with a curse? One time? Yeah. show’s like crack to her. Is that so? CAL You in love. the baby-sitter. a bit of tension relieved.S.it’s Jessica. prancing about in a basketball uniform. hey. Jess. where ZAC EFRON is onscreen. awkwardly. ROBBIE Don’t take it personally. Cal NODS. if you must know -Ding dong. right.) They turn -. You okay? You? Robbie shrugs. takes a deep breath. ROBBIE What is she doing here? CAL Oh. thanks for coming -(MORE) (CONTINUED) . Robbie and Cal stand there. JESSICA (O. Cal LAUGHS. 20 CONTINUED: CAL (CONT'D) But you need to understand that you kids have done nothing wron-20 TROY! MOLLY She bolts past Cal to the TV. ROBBIE Love is fucked.26. buddy? * ROBBIE Well. CAL Why not? ROBBIE CAL * That Robbie NODS.

she’s glued to the television. CAL Cal musses Robbie’s hair. Jess. I decided to take a class... 20 CONTINUED: (2) CAL (CONT'D) (back to Robbie) I have to run out really quickly. * * (CONTINUED) . ROBBIE But I don’t need a babysitter! She’s only four years older than me! You need to know that! She needs to know that! I know. and your mother wants you to stay here while she’s out hooking -20 What? Huh? ROBBIE CAL JESSICA (changing topics) The place is. say bye-bye to Daddy? No response. (to Robbie) Anyhow. buddy. CAL My little boy’s growing up. Weaver.. where are you going? CAL I’m. nice. well. Robbie thumps the wall with his head. CAL Molly. He’s in love already. ROBBIE Wait. just for a few hours. CAL Yes. Mr. that’s a generous adjective. uh. thank you.27. Jess is gonna keep an eye on you guys for a few. dying. can you believe it? Uch..

CONTINUOUS ACTION He ENTERS. (CONTINUED) 22 . ROBBIE I don’t need a baby-sitter. still going. SHOPPING MALL . It’s a difficult time for you. Jessica has her hand on his shoulder. maybe things you’d never have considered trying before. last chance!? But Molly is still locked on Efron. But. 20 CONTINUED: (3) 20 JESSICA That’s great.28. ROBBIE CAL * * * The door slams. Back in a few. It’s a bit odd. Cal looks down.. grabs a space. Tries to maintain some semblance of cool. try new things. SHOPPING MALL . Mr.. awkward. CAL What am I doing? 21 22 INT. JESSICA I know. takes it off. CAL Okay. Dad -Nope. Weaver. An awkward beat.CONTINUOUS ACTION Cal pulls into the parking lot. Robbie stands there with Jessica. well.. 21 JESSICA EXT. Robbie. it’s important that you find new interests. She realizes. then. CAL That’s my angel. ROBBIE I love you so much -Jesus Christ. Molly..

29. 22 CONTINUED: 22

CAL What the hell am I doing? He walks past a CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Inside is... * * 23

Hannah (girl from the bar who Jacob tried picking up). 23 INT. CHEESECAKE FACTORY - CONTINUOUS ACTION She’s sitting at a table with Liz (her friend) and a GROUP OF REALLY BORING WHITE PEOPLE in suits. There are SMALL GIFTS in front of Hannah. Holding her hand is an average guy (33), her boyfriend, RICHARD. We PICK UP mid-conversation. RICHARD I think you’re wrong. that’s Tucker. I think

WHITE MAN No, no, no. Chris Rock is the stand-up comedian. Chris Tucker is the actor. WHITE WOMAN Is it racist that I can’t tell them apart? Liz nods her head “yes” at Hannah. LAUGH. Liz stands. Hannah stifles a

LIZ Well, Richard: thank you for inviting me to Hannah’s ‘goodbye’ party. The conversation has been riveting, like stepping back in time. Before I go, a toast. She holds up her glass, toasting. LIZ Sweetie: go into your hole and study your cute little ass off for that bar exam. We’ll see you when you emerge. RICHARD She’s gonna kick that bar’s butt! All the dorks CHEER. Yeah, okay. Liz SHRUGS. LIZ
(CONTINUED)

*

*

30. 23 CONTINUED: 23

Liz CHUGS her drink, turns to Hannah. HANNAH (smiling) I’ll walk you out. Before they clear... RICHARD Hey, Liz? When my girl passes, we’re gonna have another little celebration, right here. Hope you can make it. It’s going to be a special night. LIZ Richard, you just give me a headsup so I can get really drunk before-hand, okay? You know it! RICHARD

Hannah leads Liz out of the restaurant, WHISPERS: HANNAH Did you hear that? ‘It’s going to be a special night.’ You think he’s going to propose? LIZ At the Cheesecake Factory? Oh God, I hope not. (then) Why? Do you really want him to? Hannah SHRUGS. He’s nice. HANNAH

LIZ Yeah, well... Jesus. Really? (with a shrug) Okay. Not my life, I love you, call me if you need anything. Liz KISSES her goodbye, EXITS. Hannah looks at her table. Everyone is typing on their BLACKBERRIES. She SIGHS, heads to rejoin them.

* * * *

31.

24

INT. FOOD COURT Meanwhile, Cal sees Jacob, standing against a pole in the food court. Jacob is eating pizza, cool as ever. JACOB You’re late. (then, offering) Sbarro’s? No thanks. we -CAL So what exactly are

24

* *

JACOB How much money can you afford to spend on clothes today? I dunno. CAL Five hundred?

JACOB Three thousand. Okay. CAL

JACOB We’ll start with shoes. Let me see those sneakers you’re wearing. Cal holds up his foot. Take them off. JACOB *

Cal bends down, takes one off. JACOB (chewing) Other one too, please? Cal does as he’s told. Jacob holds out his hands. SHRUGS, hands Jacob the shoes. Cal

Jacob simply turns and throws them over the railing. CAL What the hell!? JACOB Are you in a fraternity, Cal? CAL Those were my favorite shoes.
(CONTINUED)

*

Let’s go. CAL I’m not Steve Jobs. CAL JACOB Are you Steve Jobs? What? CAL JACOB ARE YOU THE BILLIONAIRE OWNER OF APPLE COMPUTERS? No. CAL I think this whole thing might have been a bad idea. 24 CONTINUED: 24 JACOB ARE YOU IN A FRATERNITY. clearly unsure what the chuckle symbolizes. JACOB Then you don’t need to walk around in New Balance Sneaker. (CONTINUED) . Ha! CAL I think I read that in GQ. JACOB Numbers one and two: pair of dress shoes. JACOB I wrote it. Cal CHUCKLES back. CAL!? No. JACOB Any man can rebuild his entire wardrobe with sixteen simple items. 25 INT. SHOE STORE . grabs a pair of BLACK DRESS SHOES. Jacob ignores him.32.CONTINUOUS ACTION Cal (barefoot) follows Jacob around the store. ever. pair of loafers. CAL * 25 You did. Really? Jacob CHUCKLES.

knocking the socks away. JACOB (V. I’m lost: really write for GQ? do you * Jacob slaps Cal’s hand. one grey.33.) Two suits: one black. SMASH CUT TO: 28 EXT. CAL These are two hundred and thirty dollars.. 25 CONTINUED: 25 Cal is looking at a pair of ARGYLE SOCKS. One sports jacket. CAL I’m sorry.. MALL .MOMENTS LATER Cal runs outside. 26 IN A SUIT STORE Cal gets fitted. Can’t we just go to the Gap? He looks up. JACOB Take it in there.) One pair of quality jeans. 27 AT ANOTHER STORE Cal holds jeans in front of him. eyes them suspiciously.O. Jacob is gone. JACOB Your credit card please? MONTAGE . CAL Don’t leave! (CONTINUED) * 26 * 27 * * 28 * * * * I’m sorry! . JACOB (V. Jacob is already halfway to the car.FROM STORE TO STORE We watch as Jacob narrates the wardrobe essentials (and as Cal’s arms get progressively fuller) in each store. navy preferred.O. Jacob leans in toward the tailor. and there.

CHING.34. Cal. 28 CONTINUED: 28 Jacob immediately heads back inside and answers: No. every store is the Gap. Cal. CHING. that’s what’s wrong with the Gap. (CONTINUED) 30 CAL 31 . 29 IN A NEW STORE Jacob holds up a pair of beige slacks. JACOB (V. CHING.) Three casual button-downs.) Four dress shirts. CHING. 31 IN A BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE Jacob leads Cal through the store.) Two v-neck cashmere sweaters. A cash register DINGS. Cal’s arms are filling. JACOB We can’t just go to the * CAL What’s wrong with the Gap? JACOB In Hell. JACOB (V. Cal. Be better than the fucking Gap. He tosses him a TUBE. a long overcoat. CHING. 29 JACOB (V.O. 30 A NEW STORE Cal struggles to get a sweater over his neck.) One pair of chinos. Gap. I’m very warm.O. Cal stands there in an overcoat and sweater. CHING. JACOB (V.O. In a dressing room shirts come flying over the wall at Cal. CHING. It’s lowest common denominator. and finally.O. CHING.

examines his eyes in a mirror.. Eww. Cal stops. TIFFANY CAL * . Yes.. tight on sides. Thanks for that. hon? Scissor cut. go longer on the top. Cal.35. okay. and beautiful. CAL Oh my God. Tiffany. hip. it does. 31 CONTINUED: 31 JACOB You rub this in around your eyes every night and every morning. CAL What does it do? JACOB (sarcastic) It gives you x-ray vision. 32 IN A SALON Cal is getting his hair cut at a fancy salon. get him some texture up top.. (then) It tightens things up. The skin around your eyes looks like Milton Berle’s ballsack. But -Tiffany starts chopping. CAL I like to use a number four on the sides and the back. measures it between his fingers. He touches Cal’s hair. sir. HAIRDRESSER is young. CAL The 32 * JACOB . take off about. JACOB Oh. inch off the top.. Vidal Sassoon.

And it works? Yes.) Items one. (then) Okay. eleven.) TIFFANY Yes. She GIGGLES. TO pants. (then. JACOB CAL (O. to Tiffany) You smell great by the way. JACOB What are you putting on? CAL (O.S. (CONTINUED) .. TO fitted sweater over a fitted shirt and bright tie. unbelievable..S. 33 INT.S. SALON . Cal calls out. He looks.) You just ask her out Seriously? like that? JACOB Yes.. I feel kind of stupid but. JACOB Perfect.. CAL (O. The new haircut. three.) Crazy...36.. The DRESSING ROOM DOOR opens.LATER Jacob and Tiffany wait for Cal (inside a changing room). I do. A new man. FROM expensive shoes. Cal. just like that. and fourteen.. We TILT UP. JACOB What are you doing tonight? I don’t know.S. TIFFANY (smitten) Thanks. TIFFANY 33 JACOB That’s okay. CAL (O.

Cal takes this in. (CONTINUED) * . Cal. CAL Well. Cal’s lower lip begins to quiver. that’s the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me. probably. 33 CONTINUED: 33 Wow. Cal. Yep. JACOB No. The meanest thing anyone’s ever said to you is this: your wife cheated on you because you lost sight of what it took to keep her content at home -. Cal? The simple act of opening your mouth instantly causes Tiffany to lose interest in sleeping with you. JACOB You see that. JACOB Shut up. TIFFANY JACOB CAL Can I blouse out the shirt a little? I like to blouse out my shirts a little.as a man. and probably as a lover. realizing) You would!? Tiffany SHRUGS.37. right? CAL (horrified) Jesus! TIFFANY Yeah. (to Tiffany) You’d fuck him. as a husband. Your personality is actually your weakest link. CAL Tiffany! (then.

” Jacob. Cal rubs his hands together. CAL I notice you only button your shirts up. CAL JACOB * 34 * * * * * CAL In my entire life? JACOB No. My kids are -JACOB Cal.NEXT NIGHT Cal sits next to Jacob. on the other hand. I’m going to be calling women over to our table shortly. Cal. right? JACOB No. Here’s the only thing I need to know: how many women have you been with? Sexually? Yes. okay. looks like he’s walked out of a men’s magazine. Cal looks at Jacob. synchronized swimming. Sexually. no? I’m in insurance. Cal is wearing his new “outfit. Cal thinks. counting it out on (CONTINUED) .” He looks great. Yes. CUT TO: 34 INT. that was meaner. nervous. more on the corporate side. but not yet comfortable in his new “gear. BAR . CAL We should have some background on each other. halfway. Cal. Listen. * * He MUMBLES to himself. 33 CONTINUED: (2) 33 CAL Yeah. one hand. I can’t pull that off. like. And he knows it. the only thing I care less about than corporate insurance are your kids.38.

He smiles. wow. Jacob CHORTLES. (then. we had a bit of a hiccup our senior year but we made it -JACOB Cal. YOUNG WOMAN JACOB Jacob Palmer.. I literally stopped listening at ‘Tracy. Hi. (then) Anyway. Cal. Hi. the ones who can be wildly sexy and unbelievably cute all at once? I never knew how she did that. okay.. 34 CONTINUED: 34 He smiles at Jacob proudly when he has to move the count to a second hand. CAL But Cal just stares at him blankly. checking) Not at a time? Total? CAL What? I married young. here we go.39. * JACOB Wow. CAL (a bit emotional) I miss my wife. YOUNG WOMAN * Amy Johnson. Then: One. Cal extends his hand. CAL Tracy was so damn beautiful. remembering.’ Okay. JACOB We met in * * * A YOUNG WOMAN slides into the booth at Jacob’s side. You know those women. (CONTINUED) . Shut up. I still don’t know how she does it. high school.

how long have I been talking? Jacob takes her hand. JACOB * He looks completely earnest. Amy? CUT TO: 35 A DRINK gets handed over to: a NEW GIRL. 34 CONTINUED: (2) 34 Cal -- CAL JACOB (quickly) Don’t. She looks up. you do? NEW GIRL Does it really matter? It does to me. NEWER GIRL And that’s when I started writing the column for LA Weekly. on a NEW NIGHT. CAL (to himself) -. God. He pulls it back. PAN TO CAL: 36 just sitting there watching. She smiles. JACOB Can I get you a drink.Weaver. horrified. What do 35 * JACOB Tell me about yourself. * (CONTINUED) .40. repeats: JACOB It does to me. 36 * BACK TO JACOB Now with NEWER GIRL.

I also think you’re one of those rare women who manages to be both wildly sexy and incredibly cute all at once. She thinks. Okay. I know it’s forward of me but just. Okay. I’m going to be honest: it’s getting late and I think you’re interesting. then NODS. Okay. NEWER GIRL FLASH CUT TO: 37 THE SECOND GIRL JACOB I think we should get out of here. Finally: FIRST GIRL 38 37 That was his line! 38A (CONTINUED) .. NEW GIRL FLASH CUT TO: 38 THE FIRST GIRL JACOB I think we should get out of here. ON JACOB JACOB Let’s get out of here.. 38A BACK TO CAL waving goodbye awkwardly as Jacob leaves with each of the girls (IN QUICK CUTS). I think we should get out of here.41. 36 CONTINUED: 36 JACOB Listen. ON CAL Mouth agape.

AFTERNOON (ONE WEEK LATER) ON THE BLACKBOARD: “SCARLET LETTER. Jessica. 38A CONTINUED: 38A Cal just sits there.” 39 * Robbie Weaver sits at his 8th grade desk. They seem really happy. And * CUT TO: 39 INT. She smiles back. CLASSROOM . In the b.HALLWAY .42.S. Reverend Dimmesdale’s ‘A’ is self-inflicted -Robbie’s PHONE BEEPS. Cal looks up. HIGH SCHOOL . completely alone. did you know Demi Moore starred in the movie version of The Scarlet Letter?” Her phone BEEPS a third time: She SIGHS. * (CONTINUED) . then: She drops THE BILL on the table. he’s been left with the tab.” Robbie smiles. Love. we hear a FEMALE TEACHER drone on about The Scarlet Letter.” Her phone BEEPS with a NEW TEXT: “P. But then A PRETTY GIRL arrives at his table.JESSICA receiving the text. Robbie.g. FYI: Demi Moore is 15 yrs older than Ashton K. the b. Under his desk. The FEMALE TEACHER drones on in 41 “She shows boob :-)” 40 * * * * * * * * * * * * TEACHER (O. ON THE CELL PHONE SCREEN The text: “Hi.. A “NEW MESSAGE. THEMES.) While Hester is forced to wear a scarlet ‘A’ as punishment for adultery.g. smiles.S. She’s a waitress. 41 BACK TO ROBBIE Pleased with himself. Robbie is TEXTING. INTERCUT WITH: 40 INT.

Thompson. Mr.43. Mrs. I’m sorry for cursing. and love is for stupid ASSHOLES. Weaver? Robbie looks up: Mr. Mrs.I think it stands for ASSHOLE..S. TEACHER (O. crestfallen.” BACK TO SCENE Robbie stares at the screen. I’m just a little swamped right now so. 41 CONTINUED: 41 ON THE CELL PHONE SCREEN The text: “Robbie: uncomfortable. TRACY’S OFFICE . A TALL MAN (40’s) stands there: DAVID JACOBOWITZ.S. (CONTINUED) * 42 * * * * * * * * * * * . So thanks for choosing this book. Robbie stands.LATER Tracy works at her desk. A KNOCK at her door interrupts. TEACHER (O.. Weaver! Slowly. CUT TO: 42 INT. ROBBIE You want to talk about The Scarlet Letter. and then had to die.) We HEAD IN TIGHT ON him. like assholes. David. like assholes.) Are we interrupting? * * please stop. Wanna know why? Because they’re in love. He closes the door behind him. Thompson? Here you go: the ‘A’ they’re both wearing -. DAVID JACOBOWITZ You have a second? TRACY Oh. U r making me very * the WHOLE CLASS is staring at him. DAVID JACOBOWITZ You’ve been avoiding me. confusing book about a bunch of stupid assholes who fell in love. because this is what I need right now: to read a boring.

Thank you. gives up. He turns serious. I like you a lot. TRACY I ran track in high school. Ever. 42 CONTINUED: 42 No. I’ve checked with other accountants. and talking. if I’m being completely honest. Just to clarify. I haven’t.44. She SIGHS. No. DAVID JACOBOWITZ That must be it. I do -TRACY DAVID JACOBOWITZ A lot. and suddenly I was an accountant who was popping out of bed in the morning. I just wanted someone to go to lunch with who didn’t make me want to shoot myself in the face. (gathering himself) I want to make sure you know how much I like you. But we started having lunch. I had no intention of falling for a married woman. TRACY * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * DAVID JACOBOWITZ You ran away in the other direction when you saw me coming down the hall yesterday. She smiles. TRACY DAVID JACOBOWITZ I’m also not sorry. excited to get to work. (CONTINUED) . That doesn’t happen to accountants. (beat) You’re very fast by the way. DAVID JACOBOWITZ I’m sorry about you and Cal.

You weren’t the only one excited to come to work lately. As she talks. She’s losing it. wipes her eyes. 42 CONTINUED: (2) 42 DAVID JACOBOWITZ So when the time is right for you to get back out there again. I just. okay.. but David is gone. looks at the Post-It. do you really want any part of this? Before he can answer.. TRACY David.. EXITS. right away. All I see when I look at you is what I did to my marriage. ‘cause you’re asking to pre-board the Titanic. David scribbles something on a postcard. BUZZ! It’s Tracy’s phone.” It reads. when I see you. Tracy LAUGHS lightly. leans forward. David. it meant something to me. “Yes. No.) Your son’s school on two... . TRACY You see this? I’m saving you from disaster. Honestly.O. TRACY But now. That sounded weird. She HANGS UP. I understand. Of course. TRACY (into phone) Right.45. I guess? What happened between us that night.. Tracy quickly picks up phone. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ASSISTANT (V. David smiles. And you were the first man in a very long time to make me feel.. you’ve been a great friend to me.. simply: Tracy looks up. noticed. Officially. all I see is his face. I’d like to throw my hat in the ring. officially.

They look happy. ROBBIE (CONTINUED) . They walk out together. He stops. 44 * * * TRACY ROBBIE TRACY Guess I should take it down. 43 * TRACY (calling back in) Yes. Very much in love. you deserve a freebie. TRACY You’d really think someone would have written something better by now. She closes the door behind her. Seriously? Sorry. Principal Sapienza. huh? Robbie NODS. the tension broken a bit. of course. 43 INT. Absolutely. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE WAITING ROOM . TRACY It’s been a rough couple of weeks. TRACY They still make kids read The Scarlet Letter. TRACY’S OFFICE . 44 INT. noticing a PHOTO.LATER Robbie sits.46.LATER Robbie wheels around in an office chair as Tracy tries to work behind her desk. Tracy EMERGES. She SIGHS. huh? I guess. C’mon. Robbie LAUGHS. it won’t happen again. It’s an older picture of CAL AND TRACY. I have to get back to work. Tracy notices. waiting. looks to Robbie.

okay? Think about what you’re in the mood for. Robbie hesitates. I’m thirteen years old and. TRACY How is he? I’ve spoken to him but only about bills. (CONTINUED) . She places the picture face down gently. He looks better. You know? Yeah. can you just tell me what I’m supposed to do in that situation? I didn’t want to Google it. Ignore me. out a lot.. too. You do? ROBBIE I heard you crying the other night and. how is he... covering) We’ll get take-out for dinner tonight. She tries to return to her work. I’m almost done here. She turns back to her work.. that’s unfair. or you kids. shakes her head. ROBBIE TRACY * * * * * * * * * * * I know. * * After a beat: Going ROBBIE He’s dressing a lot better. good. but can’t.47.. then adds: ROBBIE He’s sad. but.. TRACY Sorry. TRACY Oh. sadder. really good. Well. I think. (then. She smiles. too. 44 CONTINUED: 44 Tracy NODS. really? Robbie hesitates. That’s. TRACY I guess I’m pretty sad.. I didn’t know what to do.... but.

what happened with your father.. it’s my fault. stands.. TRACY (emotional) You promise? He NODS.) Hey. I like you. sits down opposite Robbie. (CONTINUED) . Really awkward. oh. ROBBIE I’m okay with being like you. Mom. Robbie takes him in. It’s David. I’m so sorry. * * * * TRACY David. She puts down her pen. thinks better of it. Smiles sadly at Robbie. sorry. * * * * * * * * TRACY It’s my fault. this is my son. baby. you’re so much like me it’s scary. Robbie. Tracy starts to say something. be good to him. they need you in the conference room for a sec.. shakes his hand. TRACY I’ll be right back. So just. this is David. okay. Robbie. Tracy gathers herself. DAVID Awkward. Not his. (forced) We work together. It’s grown-up stuff that I can’t talk about but. okay? ROBBIE It’ll be okay. David moves into the room. the most soulful thirteen-year-old ever. 44 CONTINUED: (2) 44 TRACY Oh God...48. You wound up with all my stuff. Robbie. ROBBIE Okay. DAVID JACOBOWITZ (O. honey? Okay. They look up. Mom.. and EXITS.S.

He LAUGHS awkwardly. ROBBIE So. My dad’s having his meltdown now. I had a meltdown. DAVID JACOBOWITZ Listen. what does he know about love?’ I know a lot more than you think. And you need to know that. 44 CONTINUED: (3) 44 DAVID JACOBOWITZ So. Tracy RE-ENTERS. shocked. almost gave up on the love of my life. right? From accounting? DAVID JACOBOWITZ Um.. I hear you’re quite the soccer player. Robbie. David. yes I am -ROBBIE Here’s the thing. He’s better than you. Robbie -ROBBIE Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘he’s just in 8th grade.. she winds up back with my dad. can we do Chinese for dinner tonight? * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) .49. Just today. David: in the end. TRACY You ready to go? ROBBIE (suddenly sweet) Mommy. but long-term? He won’t stop fighting for my mom any more than I won’t stop sending Jessica texts that make her uncomfortable.. David. And she still loves him. in every category except probably math. ROBBIE You are David Jacobowitz. I hear you broke up my parents’ marriage. Robbie props the PHOTO of Tracy and Cal back up..

and he did it instinctively. Jacob in his. staring aimlessly forward. He takes a covert look inside the house. Cal sips his drink. rather than a red-strawed vodka cranberry. Cal DIVES into a SHRUB. 44 CONTINUED: (4) 44 Tracy waves to David as she and Robbie EXIT. CUT TO: 45 EXT. silently requesting a refill. A LIGHT pops on.. ON CAL Content. It’s the strangest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen.THAT NIGHT Another night at the bar: Cal’s in his position. Cal taps the rim of the glass. practiced move. BAR . JACOB I think you’re ready. then twice.Picks off some petals from some dying flowers. Jacob looks at Cal. sneaking into the backyard. -. Cal. He’s drinking a martini. His yard may not be his anymore. It’s Cal.He spreads FERTILIZER on the grass. Once. but it’s back in order. For what? CAL (CONTINUED) * * 45 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 46 . Without speaking. -.Trims some bushes. he finishes. As he takes it all in. He gets to work. All is quiet. Jacob smiles. Finally. staring at: THE PHOTO OF CAL AND TRACY that Robbie has left directly in his line of sight. It’s a cool.. THE WEAVER BACKYARD . A WAITRESS passes. 46 INT.50.LATE EVENING Bushes rustle. leaving him stunned in the middle of her office... leans forward. more comfortable in his new “skin” than when we left him. -. Cal looks great.

do you remember the part in Karate Kid. Miagi keeps having the kid wax the car and the kid gets all bent out of shape because he doesn’t see the point. 46 CONTINUED: 46 JACOB To talk to a woman. I’ve been watching LeBron James for years. take a woman home. Oh. I’m not. well. doesn’t mean I can suddenly dunk a basketball. but the movements were actually building blocks for throwing and blocking punches? CAL Oh God. what’s the first thing I do when a woman sits down? CAL You ask if you can buy her a drink. let it sit there. CAL Yeah. JACOB And what if she says no? CAL You order her a drink anyway. where Mr. trying his patience: JACOB Cal. JACOB Cal. CAL No. JACOB You’ve been watching me do it for two weeks. no. JACOB When she asks me a question about myself? * * * * (CONTINUED) .51. Are you going to make me fight someone? Jacob stretches his neck.

no. Do I ask? JACOB CAL No. She’s attractive. Jacob stands. or David Jacobowitz. and no talking about your job. Miagi’d me! Jacob BOWS to Cal. thirties.52. your pathetic sexual history. smiles. A PRETTY WOMAN stands near their table. lot. CAL What. You A JACOB And at the end of the night? CAL You compliment them. Japanese style. JACOB And what happens? CAL They talk about themselves. (then) Holy shit! You Mr... Okay. mid* * (CONTINUED) . JACOB Oh. to woman) Hi! Jacob has pulled her over. here we go. You never answer questions about yourself. then you ask if they’d like to come back to your place. You confidently tell them you’d like them to come back to your place. 46 CONTINUED: (2) 46 CAL You deflect it back to her. I’m not ready for -(then. nod a lot. your children. JACOB And what do I do? CAL You act really interested.

The Waitress leaves. Cal? CAL What do you do. Kate? (CONTINUED) . KATE (PRETTY WOMAN) No thank you... Cal. * * Cal smiles. 46 CONTINUED: (3) 46 JACOB Cal.. five years sober so. The WAITRESS approaches. KATE So. Kate. She smiles back. CAL Can I buy you a drink. nervous. KATE Really. Jacob NODS at Cal (”you’ve got this”) and leaves them. She tries small-talk. one drink! Picture those ice cubes clinking together. this is Kate. Mmmm.. thank you but it’s okay..53. I can but. no. confused. portrays confidence. Kate? Oh. Can’t you taste it? She smiles. what do you do. no: a Grey Goose. CAL I’m buying you a drink anyway. Cal’s face drops. Don’t come back here ever. We don’t want anything. rocks. Kate.. am I right? Yeah? A nice dirty martini? No. Cal MOTIONS for a waitress in the distance. I’m. uh. extra lime? C’mon. CAL I’m guessing you’re a vodka girl. uncomfortable. so you might as well tell me what you want. * * * WAITRESS What can I get -CAL Nothing. KATE Yes. Kate SITS. Kate looks around. Cal smiles at Kate.

I’m a teacher. I bet that’s actually more common than people realize. And I have children. CAL Teacher. is sexual partners. what do you do? CAL Seriously. KATE Now.. Plural... She LAUGHS lightly. Interesting. I’m very interested in teaching. do you do? Cal NODS. (CONTINUED) .54. KATE I should get back to my friends -Kate STANDS. The only thing I have ONE of. that would be the woman I recently separated from because she was cheating on me with David Jacobowitz who I wasn’t supposed to tell you about either. exaggerated.. are you not going to tell me what you do? He’s still nodding. thinks he’s being funny. More than one. 46 CONTINUED: (4) 46 KATE I asked you first. CAL I asked you second. CAL A teacher with an alcohol dependency no less. what do you do? Now it’s getting a little weird. c’mon: what * * * CAL I’m sorry! I’m supposed to deflect your questions. KATE Seriously. as if fascinated. Cal puts his face in his hands. oh screw it: I’m in corporate insurance. KATE I’m sorry.

it’s a genuine compliment. and this sweater is called slim fitting but it’s really just uncomfortable and itchy. curious. and I’m at least fifteen years older than you. an actual honest man. It’s kind of. Holy shit..55. They charm me. sits back down. CAL (genuine) I don’t understand. (then) It’s nice. KATE You think I’m a perfect combination of sexy and cute? Cal looks up. KATE What were you supposed to tell me? CAL I don’t know: that you’re a perfect combination of sexy and cute -. and at some point they just. It’s not a line. KATE Wow. CAL That’s what you took away from that? She smiles. Look at you. But I’m tired. Who wouldn’t call you again? She looks up. rare around here. and I fall for it. It is? CAL KATE You have no idea.it was something I said about my wife that’s since been corrupted. Cal is in! (CONTINUED) ... I’m kind of a magnet for these jerk-offs. actually.. She smiles warmly. 46 CONTINUED: (5) 46 Kate turns back. never call me again. I don’t know what to do with that.

46 CONTINUED: (6) 46 KATE So. KATE (playful) Ask me again.LATER Cal and Kate BARGE in. CORPORATE APARTMENT . genuinely turned-on. passionately kissing. I’m supposed to tell you. 47 * * (CONTINUED) . CUE MUSIC: “SEXYBACK” by Justin Timberlake. KATE Why don’t you give it a shot.56. that you should come home with me. what were you ‘supposed’ to do next? CAL Well. CAL I’m not asking you.. Actually no. then: CAL You’re very pretty. surprised. eventually I’m ‘supposed’ to ask you if you want to get out of here. Cal smiles and leans forward. CAL (gasping for breath) This is my dumpy apartment that I had to move into when I left my wife. but I think you should come home with me.. And I can’t tell if you’re being serious. see what happens? Cal looks up. Kate looks up. Kate. Kate. faux-confident. I’m telling you: you should come home with me. SMASH CUT TO: 47 INT. He clears his throat. confidently.

winks at a waitress.We STAY ON the DOOR. a perfectly tailored suit on his body. KATE More. She GROWLS and dives on top of him as we launch: 48 CAL WEAVER’S “SEXYBACK” MONTAGE (THE NEXT FEW WEEKS) -.57.The next morning a DISHEVELED CAL lets Kate out. 47 CONTINUED: 47 KATE (turned on) I love that you’re being so honest. Everything’s in SLOW MOTION. jealous. and closes the DOOR. She looks amazing. 49 AT THE BAR Cal strides in -. Cal Weaver has evolved into “the fucking man.” * * as 48 * * 49 . She’s wearing just a bra. -. gives her a big passionate kiss. After a beat. CAL I’m worried you have AIDS. She stops. CAL * She pushes him down on the couch. so hot.a skip in his step. KATE What do you want to do with me? CAL Show you off to my wife to make her jealous.. tell me more. it opens up: Cal bids farewell to a NEW GIRL on a new morning. Only a little. He points at someone. CAL I’ve never been with a woman besides my ex-wife.. takes her sweater off. A SAD SACK GUY at the bar watches Cal stride by. It’s so different.

. CAL It’s ridiculous. alone. JACOB And yours isn’t? A candy store that only sells red candy. The door closes. CAL Everyone loves the cherry. 4) ROBBIE drags mysterious wood planks into his backyard. But let’s be real here: no one wants the lemon.” 3) TRACY eats ice cream in bed.58. it would work! CAL You’re out of your mind. It’s a strip club where they can do their laundry. 50 51 BACK TO CAL’S APARTMENT A NEW WOMAN EXITS. anything in the -erry family is allowed. No one likes the grape. . What do they love? Strippers. JACOB CAL Well then you can’t come to my store.CAL AND JACOB are mid-conversation. JACOB . kisses goodbye ANOTHER WOMAN! It re-opens as he 51 * * 52 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) 52 BACK AT THE BAR -. 2) JESSICA reads magazine articles on “How to Make Him Notice You. Look. JACOB What do college guys hate? Doing laundry.. But we’re mainly with CAL. 50 SNAPSHOTS Meanwhile -1) HANNAH studies late into the night for the bar. I like grape... I’m not rejecting the psuedocherry flavors like raspberry or strawberry.

She still baby-sits for him after all. BERNIE Leave the poor bastard alone. SUBURBAN KITCHEN . * (CONTINUED) . a bubbly little woman -. Mr.59. CLAIRE Oh. Weaver has become quite a man-about-town if you get my drift. I almost forgot -.) What did you hear about Mr. 53 INT. CLAIRE Apparently. Mom? PULL BACK -.the polar opposite of her husband. We don’t have to dance on his grave. 52 CONTINUED: 52 They LAUGH. VOICE (O. BERNIE Claire. EATING NEXT TO HER LITTLE BROTHER (13). would you? I gave him the cologne like you told me to. quickly becoming inseparable. Weaver.EVENING A late 40s couple eat dinner: BERNIE (the big guy who “broke up” with Cal earlier) and CLAIRE.heard some good gossip at the nail salon. CLAIRE (sing-songy) It’s about Cal. What? JESSICA 53 * * * * * * * * * * * CLAIRE Lots of young women coming in and out of his apartment lately. BERNIE For God’s sake.S. would you cut it out? CLAIRE It’s good for Jess to know.JESSICA (THE BABYSITTER) SITS AT THE NEARBY COUNTER. Claire.

MADISON * Madison extends her arms. Madison. she stops. whassup? JESSICA I had a question for you. it’s good gossip at the least.. here’s the thing. So. As she CONTINUES CHATTERING in the b. Ooh.. Looks up. guess what else I heard.g.. 53 CONTINUED: 53 Oh. JESSICA Oh. Jessica stares at her blankly. Finally. Smiles.. right? (CONTINUED) . let’s call it what it is: you’re always sleeping with older guys. Thinking. I don’t mean to be blunt or insulting but. CLAIRE Well.60. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY . 54 INT. My lips are.. wait! 54 * * * * Madison stops walking. It’s kind of on the personal side so. but not texting. Jessica. Madison! JESSICA Madison. we HOLD ON Jessica. (then) My lips are seals. MADISON (explaining) Seals.. I had a question -Madison holds up a finger (”one second”) and continues texting... Madison. MADISON Hey. begins clapping and making WEIRD NOISES. okay. c’mon! BERNIE Enough.NEXT DAY Jessica waits at her LOCKER. She spots a TALL BLONDE GIRL moving down the hallway.. texting as she walks. JESSICA Hey.

I’m sure it does. So that helps. well. MADISON So that’s not gonna work.61. MADISON Okay. JESSICA No. MADISON JESSICA So my question is: how do you do that? I mean. You do. well first off. a kid in high school? MADISON Oh. 54 CONTINUED: 54 MADISON (nodding) Always. JESSICA (CONTINUED) * JESSICA Wait. MADISON You don’t have a huge rack. here’s what you do. I have a huge rack. I don’t unfortunately.. Totally.. JESSICA Lots of college guys. how do you get them not to see you as. MADISON JESSICA Even rumors about a few teachers. I’ve heard. how old is he? Old. Nope. Lots of them. JESSICA MADISON * * JESSICA Yes. Madison SIGHS. yes. .

Madis-The full gyno. JESSICA Jesus. Force his hand. Tasteful but with nipple. Black and white. Jessica. She makes a raw sexual face. you have to hook him. Make him unable to stop himself from doing what he knows to be wrong.62. MADISON Off Jessica’s blank look. MADISON A crotch shot? A nip slip? (then) A dirty picture! You can even Annie Leibowitz it. Madison. How? JESSICA MADISON Do what I do. Send him a postcard from downtown. Madison! (CONTINUED) . MADISON Alright. MADISON Rock on. 54 CONTINUED: (2) 54 MADISON Like really old? JESSICA Like parent old. Huh? JESSICA * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * MADISON Go TMZ on his ass. Nasty. that’s what you should do: make it artistic. Yeah. Make this face. JESSICA Thank you. JESSICA I’m not following you.

There’s a bit of commotion outside. 54 CONTINUED: (3) 54 MADISON Well. you came to me for advice. revealing a SCARLET J taped to his pale. Kevin! She leaves Jessica there. reads it. * * * * 55 * * * * * * (CONTINUED) .63. he won’t see you as a little girl anymore. You put those across his radar. He’ll put it up on his fantasy football web-site. that’s my advice. HIGH SCHOOL . standing atop a man-made. He has recreated the famous Scarlet Letter tableau. that’s for sure. tells your mom.LATER THAT DAY Jessica EXITS the school. BACK TO ROBBIE as he RIPS OPEN his button-up shirt. ROBBIE (dramatically) There she is! ON JESSICA Oh shit. hairless chest. lost in thought. 55 EXT. and suddenly you’re not allowed to use Facebook for a month. wooden platform/scaffold in front of the school. TEENAGERS are pointing and LAUGHING at something. He pulls out a piece of paper. MADISON Don’t send it to him as a jpeg. Thanks. processing the advice. And then your brother sees it. calls back. Madison walks off. tall. though. Jessica pushes through and sees: ROBBIE.

(CONTINUED) * * * . She’s the one! I know it to be true. (then) Oh.’ Robbie puts down the paper. multitude. JESSICA Robbie Weaver! I am your babysitter and I’m telling you to GET YOUR ASS DOWN FROM THERE NOW! That does the trick. without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true. 55 CONTINUED: 55 ROBBIE Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote in The Scarlet Letter: ‘No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude. get down! ROBBIE I have marked myself with this Scarlet J. It’s just tape and construction paper but one day I will get a permanent tattoo when I’m old enough that my parents won’t freak out on me. ignoring the jeers. ROBBIE I am not bewildered! Jessica Riley is my soulmate. Wave hello. and so now do the multitude. (correcting himself) Multitudes? (then. Because your name starts with a J. Jessica! For you. JESSICA (heated whisper) What the hell are you thinking? ROBBIE You like the scaffold? It has wheels. Jessica pulls him off to the side. deciding) No. JESSICA Robbie. those are my friends. He gets down to mocking APPLAUSE. Took four weeks to build it. they helped me wheel it down.64.

It might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. Robbie stumbles. I don’t want my parents to know. turns back to Robbie. ROBBIE You’ll learn to love me. 55 CONTINUED: (2) 55 OFF TO THE SIDE: Three excited THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLDS WAVE and give THUMBS-UPS to Robbie. JESSICA I ROBBIE Just because I’m four years younger than you? JESSICA BECAUSE I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE!!! This stops Robbie dead in his tracks. I’ve checked. JESSICA This has to stop.65. You can’t. kind of. ROBBIE Is he from town? JESSICA Yes. I won’t. less sure-footed than usual. Who is he? ROBBIE JESSICA It doesn’t matter. Do I know him? I don’t know. (CONTINUED) . confused. promise. JESSICA I’ve been spending time with him for a while. No date for Spring Formal last month -JESSICA He’s older. ROBBIE No. Jessica waves. Robbie. all the wind taken out of him. Robbie literally just sits down on the ground. And with that. No boyfriend since ninth grade. Seriously.

okay? The kids? They’re fine.. Nanna! I know. Robbie. But this all has to stop now. Yeah. Robbie remains seated on the grass. (CONTINUED) * * * . the texts. I’m going to see her tomorrow night. CAL’S CORPORATE APARTMENT . watching High School Musical as always. all of it. Jessica tries not to smile. His three friends approach.66. 56 ROBBIE * INT. Nanna! ROBBIE AND MOLLY 56 * CAL Oh. dejected. Have you been getting out at all? I’ll bring you some of that deli you like one night. Devastated. You don’t know how much I miss. His little sister sits next to him. JESSICA I know. okay? She EXITS. Made a new buddy. (to other room) Kids. I’ve been spending time with him. Of course I miss her. it’s been forever..AFTERNOON (NEXT DAY) Robbie’s on the couch. CAL (into phone) Hey. Hi. but it has to stop. It’s very sweet. lost. Cal is on the phone. JESSICA I’ll see you around. 55 CONTINUED: (3) 55 ROBBIE I’ll kill him if he hurts you. ROBBIE’S FRIEND We should probably get the scaffold back on the road before dark. The speeches. I’ve been keeping busy. In the adjoining kitchen. say hi to Nanna. He just sits there. Yeah.

67.. CAL’S CORPORATE APARTMENT . but no biggie. turns back to the TV. stupid. CUT TO: 57 EXT. Oh yeah? CAL You like her? * * * * ROBBIE I like Pringles. (CONTINUED) . 57 * ROBBIE So you’re seeing Mom tomorrow.. CAL But she’s your soulmate? Yeah. ROBBIE CAL Well you can’t just give up. what’s with the moping? ROBBIE Nothing. He heads into the bathroom with the phone. It’s just. there’s this girl. Cal smiles. CAL Yeah. 56 CONTINUED: 56 His voice cracks. Robbie SIGHS. This girl’s my soulmate. And she wants someone else. CAL Hey. He turns. I’m like crazy. huh? At my parent-teacher thing? Yeah.LATER THAT DAY Cal and Robbie are having a catch. in love with her. closes the door. Robbie is listless. CAL ROBBIE First time in a while. sees Robbie staring. Cal tosses him back the ball.

His silence speaks volumes. (dramatically) Get back my mom. ROBBIE Listen. you’re the man right now. Do you still love her? CAL How old ARE you? ROBBIE (strongly) Do you still love Mom? Cal doesn’t say anything. ROBBIE You’re the same guy. ROBBIE Mom was yours. 57 CONTINUED: 57 ROBBIE Why not? (then. Dad. She says no? Change her mind. Dad. I love you. Don’t give up. So set an example for your boy. And I’m a different guy now. Look at you. * * * * * CAL Weren’t we talking about you? ROBBIE We are. Cal freezes. You just have different clothes.68. It’s complicated? Uncomplicate it. Get her back. CAL It was slightly more complicated than that. I have your back. * (CONTINUED) . quietly) You did. right? CAL I didn’t give up. But let’s be honest here: the woman told you she wanted a divorce and you jumped out of a car. Your son is in desperate need of some romantic inspiration. always.

NEXT NIGHT Cal sits on a small chair outside a classroom. The ball sails past him and THROUGH THE WINDOW of a nearby car. 57 CONTINUED: (2) 57 Robbie punctuates his pep talk by tossing Cal the ball. Nanna. TRACY She sound okay to you? She (CONTINUED) * Really. worries about us. . MIDDLE SCHOOL . Tracy stands there.S.. Cal. too. seat next to him. Tracy takes the * * * * * * CAL She sounded like. Awkward.NEXT NIGHT PARENTS walk hand-in-hand.. Me. Vulnerable and nervous. Cal smiles. approaches.) Tracy It’s Parent58 * * 59 * * * Cal looks up. CAL Oh.69. so. into the school. 59 INT. Teacher conference night.. TRACY Well you look great. TRACY (floored) You look great. TRACY (O. CAL I talked to Nanna yesterday. Wow. Neither knows what to say now.. (then) You always look great. but looks amazing.. CAL Thank you. MIDDLE SCHOOL . hard. well turns out I’ve been buying the wrong size suit for twenty years so. 58 EXT. Cal is lost in thought. She’s dressed down..

then: CAL So.. (then) It wasn’t about him. A long beat. it’s not. I’m so glad we switched the babies at the hospital. (a beat. too. An awkward beat. CAL I do.. TRACY They LAUGH. TRACY (then) I kind of like him. too. No. though. This is the one he pulled The Scarlet Letter Asshole routine on. Tracy LAUGHS. tension broken a bit. God. CAL He’s a really weird kid. how are things with. 59 CONTINUED: 59 Tracy NODS. TRACY Oh. then: * * CAL I feel like I’m about to get detention.70.. Thompson. these two are great together when they’re in rhythm. CAL Which teacher is this? TRACY Mrs. I know. CAL (CONTINUED) * * * * * * * . Cal smiles. The laughter trickles away. Me. if that means anything.. then) How’s it going with David? She looks down. isn’t he? Yeah.

But I don’t totally blame you. CAL Another long beat of silence. And I’m furious at you for what you did.. Because you hear things. CAL I got complacent. TRACY I had to be... CAL I put in an effort when we were younger. not really. a nervous gesture. CAL Tracy looks up surprised. Cal gathers himself. CAL You know me. I think. T. takes a breath.. CAL All I ever wanted to do was make you love me.. I miss you. dancing -you were such a good dancer. I got lazy. me? No. well. if that makes any sense? (MORE) * * (CONTINUED) . you know? She smiles. No. you know. 59 CONTINUED: (2) 59 Cal looks at his watch. didn’t I? I’d do anything to make you happy: take you miniature golfing. TRACY Oh. And we got married so young. and turns toward Tracy. You were such a good miniature golfer. You find your soulmate in high school. really early on.. you’ve got the game sewed up in the first quarter.71. emboldened. Yeah. He smiles. And then you did. And I guess. TRACY You seeing anyone? Who. I got boring.

You fight for your soulmate. Thompson..) Mr. She LAUGHS through her tears. and Mrs. isn’t he? CAL I’ll be honest: he scares the shit out of me.S. Cal takes her hand. Tracy’s eyes well up with tears. kisses it. TRACY He’s a very strange boy. too.. Cal freezes. (CONTINUED) . Mrs. I should have fought for you. his lips on Tracy’s hand.. AT DOORWAY It’s Robbie’s English teacher. we’ve met before. Cal? CAL * CAL (CONT'D) 59 KATE What are you doing here? CAL (looking to the sky) Really? TRACY You two know each other? CAL Um. yes. Oh God. Weaver? They turn around. TRACY I missed you. At least that’s what our thirteenyear-old tells me. 59 CONTINUED: (3) (then) I shouldn’t have jumped out of the car. better known to us as: KATE (the teacher from the bar who Cal slept with).72. VOICE (O..

Tracy. Thompson? This is my wife. Cal hesitates. CAL We have a mutual friend. 60 Tracy looks at Cal. so now she’s your WIFE again? HOW CONVENIENT! Kate’s getting louder now. maybe we should focus on Robbie? KATE Yes. let’s do that. I’m playing catch-up: how do you two know each other? KATE Maybe your husband should tell you. CLASSROOM . WHY DON’T WE!? She STORMS INSIDE. follows her in. KATE Oh. TRACY I’m sorry. Ha! KATE CAL You know. on Robbie. CAL Why don’t we head inside? KATE YES. Kate goes to her blackboard. 59 CONTINUED: (4) 59 KATE We’ve met before? Seriously? CAL Mrs. Let’s focus * (CONTINUED) .73. 60 * INT.CONTINUOUS ACTION Kate PACES in front of the classroom.

* She writes on the board: KATE Asshole. Tracy rushes out of the room. Cal turns to Tracy. shit like KATE as in. and never does. CAL She’s an alcoholic! You can’t trust what she says! (CONTINUED) . CAL ENOUGH!!! She looks crestfallen. She underlines it. someone who uses to get a woman into bed but is actually full of the rest of them. someone who allows a woman to go down on him for forty-five minutes because he’s ‘nervous’ -OKAY! Kate stops. Weaver? CAL She’s heard it. Mrs. yes.74. CAL I can explain. CAL Because usually he’s a very strong public speaker -KATE Asshole: as in. CAL We were a little concerned about Robbie’s grade on his oral book report -Asshole: ‘honesty’ with him. Robbie’s shining this year was when he set a record for cursing in an grade English class. So in terms of Robbie’s progress -KATE Asshole: as in. 60 CONTINUED: 60 As you moment school eighth KATE know. Are you familiar with this word. ASSHOLE. someone who tells a woman that he’ll call. Cal calls after her.

wait! CAL 61 TRACY Leave me alone. stepping out into the hallway and following them outside. stunned. Cal! KATE I’m sober for FIVE YEARS. Tracy. That’s their thing. races after Cal. Okay. so it doesn’t make any sense for me to be mad at you. 62 EXT.75. c’mon! CAL We were separated. Cal. (CONTINUED) . 62 TRACY (fumbling for keys) I know.CONTINUOUS ACTION Tracy races to her car. ASSHOLE! Tracy looks at Cal. SCHOOL HALLWAY . you ASSHOLE! ON SPECTATORS TEACHERS and PARENTS (including Jessica’s parents). KATE Tell her she’s the perfect combination of sexy and cute. SCHOOL . so -CAL TRACY I can’t do this now. I love you. CAL Tracy. Kate INT. 61 Cal races after Tracy. and I cheated.CONTINUOUS ACTION A three-way chase: Tracy. 60 CONTINUED: (2) 60 KATE SCREAMS in horror.

wait! Yes. Cal seizes the moment. 62 CONTINUED: 62 CAL It’s a funny story. I slept with her! I slept with our son’s eighth grade teacher! GASPS from the crowd. you’re STILL. to himself) I’m your soulmate. Tracy gets in her car and speeds off. the only woman I want to be with.. realizing.. He instantly trails off. YOU! I LOVE YOU!!! Tracy hesitates. She STORMS OFF. CAL But all it did was confirm what I already knew: THAT I LOVE. She opens the car door. CAL (meekly completing) . even after I’ve been with eleven women. * CAL Before. * * CAL HE DESERVED AN ‘A’ ON THAT BOOK REPORT AND YOU KNOW IT! (CONTINUED) . By a SLAP ACROSS the face by Kate. only to be met... actually -TRACY I’m going home. Claire (Jessica’s Mom) takes a picture with her cell phone. CAL Tracy. you were the only woman I’d ever been with or wanted to be with. MORE GASPS. Cal turns around to the crowd..76. CAL (weakly.. TRACY I don’t even know who you are. And now.

Is this it? RICHARD I’m so proud of you... And I’m a lawyer so you know I never lie. and walks over to Richard. Liz desperately orders another drink. soaked. if we could get our guest of honor over here. CHEESECAKE FACTORY CAL Cal 63 * Meanwhile. my doubts.. RICHARD Now I did tell you that it’d be a special night when you passed the bar.. More CHEESY LAUGHTER. RICHARD So.CONTINUOUS ACTION We’ve been here before. There’s a cake on the table that says “CONGRATS HANNAH!” Richard stands on a chair. the same group of BORING PEOPLE at the same table. (CONTINUED) 64 * I had .. RICHARD Excuse me.. It begins to pour. barely able to take it..77. Hannah. downs her drink. Everyone!? The room goes quiet. RICHARD Now.. I’d like to formally ask you. Hannah takes a deep breath. Liz GAGS herself with her finger. 62 CONTINUED: (2) 62 THUNDER CRACKS in the sky. REALLY!!!??? 63 EXT. everyone. stands there. 64 INT.. looks at Hannah. More HECKLING from the crowd. the rain pours down as DINERS scurry into the restaurant. He looks up at the sky. CHEESECAKE FACTORY . in front of all our friends and colleagues. baby. of course. anyone remember? POLITE LAUGHS. I forget what she looks like. Liz and Hannah CHAT off to the side..

excited. Hannah steps back. 64 CONTINUED: 64 Hannah waits. and Schmidt!? CHEERS. I’m sorry. that’s great. I didn’t realize. you know: long-term. it’s fine. I think I just need a little more time. it’s fine. do you? Everyone LAUGHS. Richard pulls Hannah off to the side. The room goes quiet.... RICHARD You don’t have a better offer already.. I just. Liz gets a good seat.78. I just got thrown is all. trying to hear. down the road. HANNAH No. privately) I’m sorry. I’m still figuring out how I feel about us. don’t be silly. breathless. Goldberg. I know. Loudly. HANNAH No. I just. no..you’re figuring out how you feel about us? She LAUGHS. RICHARD . Once. What? RICHARD Richard reacts.. RICHARD It’s definitely a possibility. (CONTINUED) * . I thought you were about to propose. frozen.. if you’d like to become a permanent lawyer at the firm of Watkins.. HANNAH No. RICHARD Honey. (then... Everyone’s now watching. I thought. I’m so sorry. Then twice. HANNAH No. (then) Wait -.

As she passes. He checks his 65 Suddenly. BAR Meanwhile. Liz sticks out her hand and they slap five. We’ve seen this before. 65 INT.) What did she say? The women look up. ON JACOB Standing there. ON THE WOMEN One of them is telling a story: WOMAN And you know what she said? What? JACOB (O. he looks very alone at his usual table. HANNAH I will consider your job offer. He flashes his coolest smile. she walks away. They melt. SLAM! The door to the bar busts open. Richard. No Cal. 64 CONTINUED: (2) 64 Honey? RICHARD She’s really laughing now. Jacob sits alone in the bar. He shakes it off.S.79. I swear to God: I was hoping you wouldn’t propose. watch. thank you so much. in all his glory. HANNAH You know what the best part is: I would have said yes! To YOU! And I didn’t even want you to propose! Just now. She grabs Richard’s cheeks. Hysterically LAUGHING. DOWNS IT. stands. And I still would have said YES! That’s how pathetic I am! She snags someone else’s drink from the table. and approaches the table of a group of nearby WOMEN. revealing: (CONTINUED) * .

JACOB Hannah NODS. She grabs him. HANNAH She leads him out of the bar. deep. 66 WOMAN #1 * 66 INT. She’s dripping wet from the rain. For the first time. takes his hand. kiss. almost angry * HANNAH Do you remember me? Yes. A long.LATER We haven’t been here yet. She pulls back. 65 CONTINUED: 65 HANNAH. he looks like a deer in the headlights. marches straight to him. JACOB HANNAH Do you still think I’m attractive? Yes. JACOB. JACOB’S APARTMENT .. searching for. Let’s go. JACOB HANNAH Do you still want to take me home? Yes. Modern furniture. It’s exactly what you’d expect though: an elegant bachelor-pad. quickly. Jacob puts an album on his record player. She scans the room. Kisses him. Sleek. She spots him. Everything just right. Slut. looking almost wild. * (CONTINUED) . We STAY WITH the WOMEN Jacob had just been introducing himself to.80..

(then) Drink? Yes. He pats the couch. put on the perfect song. holds out her glass for a refill. HANNAH I like this song. JACOB HANNAH She * They CLINK. Music starts playing: HANNAH “As Tears Go By” by the Stones. JACOB I thought you would. Hannah downs hers. Jacob takes a sip.81. This time she HOLDS HER NOSE as she downs it. walks over. 66 CONTINUED: 66 HANNAH This place looks like something out of a men’s magazine. and make them a drink? * (CONTINUED) . Cheers. Jacob raises a brow. pours her another. sits down. please. HANNAH Brings Jacob pours two nice glasses of SCOTCH.. them (and the bottle) over towards the couch. Cheers. As soon as she finishes choking. HANNAH So is this how it normally works? What? JACOB HANNAH How you woo a woman? You take them back to your granitecountered bachelor pad. Hannah nods. neat.. JACOB Is that a compliment? I’m not sure.

Hannah SNAPS. takes a swig. He actually LAUGHS. I was under the impression that was your plan. HANNAH And then you sleep with them? Yes. HANNAH No! Not adorable! Sexy! R-rated sexy! Because I know what happens next in the PG-13 version of tonight: I get really drunk. 66 CONTINUED: (2) 66 JACOB Yes. Hannah NODS. admits: HANNAH I’m very nervous.82. JACOB HANNAH So that’s what happens next? sleep together? We JACOB At some point. JACOB You’re adorable. yes. JACOB I’m getting that. That’s how it normally works. and kiss my forehead.. and nothing happens. but that’s not why I’m here! (then) I’m here to bang the hot guy from the bar who hit on me. and you cover me with a blanket. Jacob LAUGHS. HANNAH I know at the bar I seemed confident. but I was more just soaking wet and cold and trying to be dramatic. grabs the bottle.. She takes a deep breath. already tipsy. and I pass out. (CONTINUED) .

.. HANNAH So.. unbuttons his shirt and takes it off. HANNAH I do. HANNAH Okay. (CONTINUED) . this is happening. (then) Take off your shirt. your shirt. Hannah stands. stands. I’m finally going to do something exciting and dangerous and Liz can blow me! Hannah shakes her hands out. do you prefer to do it here or in the bedroom? JACOB (amused) In the bedroom is preferable. HANNAH She pokes a finger at his abs.83. 66 CONTINUED: (3) 66 JACOB I don’t think people say ‘bang’ anymore. We’re going to bang. pumping herself up. HANNAH No way! Not with all that happening. She motions casually at his abs. Holy crap. a girl on a mission. JACOB Now take off yours. okay. HANNAH It’s like you’re photo-shopped. Take off Jacob SHRUGS.. He’s ripped. What? JACOB HANNAH I need to stop thinking.

It forms perfectly to the shape of my head. HANNAH You don’t have one of those ridiculous massage chairs. do you? (CONTINUED) . she pulls back again.. HANNAH They are. ENTERS.. HANNAH 68 * HANNAH Wait. Jacob is on top of her. gently. shirtless. BAR HANNAH Let’s go there. let’s proceed. After a beat. They’re making out. They resume kissing. beaten up and soaking wet from the rain. Gathers herself. JACOB I’m glad you like it.84. she pulls back again. 67 INT.CONTINUOUS ACTION Hannah lies on her back in the dim light.. 66 CONTINUED: (4) 66 Good. are these those foam pillows from Brookstone? Off his look. (tipsy) This pillow is amazing. amazed. JACOB’S BEDROOM . But Jacob isn’t there. aren’t they!? I always wondered who actually buys them! You do! The hot guy from the bar buys them! Of course! She shakes her head. CUT BACK TO: 68 INT. 67 * Meanwhile Cal. goes to kiss her. Jacob smiles. in need of a friend’s company. He looks to his usual table. HANNAH Sorry..

Jacob does the most unexpected thing: Do me a favor. JACOB C’mon. laughing.. one question. We can tell: this is different for him.. fine.85. He likes her. JACOB Ask me a question As he processes it. HANNAH How much did it cost? JACOB Five thousand doll-- * That DOUBLES HER OVER. or past girlfriends -HANNAH What’s your mom like? (CONTINUED) * * . come on. hysterical.. but then we bang. Oh. (lying) JACOB My. We watch him as he realizes that. completely amazing. JACOB Absolutely. about myself. ON HANNAH Hair in her face: drunk. 68 CONTINUED: 68 No. God! HANNAH You totally do! I do. We watch him look at Hannah. Now. And then. I’ll answer anything. JACOB (admitting) It’s infectious. Jacob starts laughing with her. * She STARTS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. really laughing. You can ask me about my job. HANNAH Okay.. HANNAH What? No! I don’t want to know anything about you.

Very cold. Body language shifts. FIRST.Until finally: it’s Jacob who passes out. TO.. Left us a lot of money. and begins falling in love with him. She motions at his abs. sharing the Scotch from the bottle.. He motions at his PILLOW. He hesitates. then: JACOB Icy. and kisses him on the forehead... just talking. We PULL BACK as they continue chatting. but cold. And it’s Hannah who covers him with a blanket.. Then kissing. * * * . as one question leads to another.. I guess? Not cruel. -. TIME PASSES. talking some more. JACOB My dad was the opposite of my mom. Then lying on their sides. MONTAGE. long time ago. which is how I have. IN ONE CONTINUOUS DOLLY MOVE WE HEAD. HANNAH And time for stuff like that? He LAUGHS. 68 CONTINUED: (2) 68 The question takes him by surprise.. CUE MUSIC as we begin a.. JACOB Stuff like this... -.Soon they’re sitting in bed.86. face-to-face. HANNAH And your father? JACOB He died. actually. and then another.

CUT TO: 71A INT. HANNAH’S BEDROOM . God. until we REVEAL: JACOB staring down at his hand. 70 INT.EVENING Now it’s Hannah who’s asleep in bed. A big drink. More staring. She smiles. Gives in to falling in love with her. He suddenly seems very alone. CUT TO: 72 INT. He smiles. he’s crazy about her. Hyperventilating. (CONTINUED) 70 * * * * He looks * * 71 * * * * * * * * * 71A * * * * * 72 * * * .. he catches himself. In a series of COMEDIC JUMP-CUTS.EVENING Cal is sitting at the table that once belonged to Jacob. He notices. HANNAH’S BEDROOM And finally. terrified. kisses her forehead. BAR . he wrestles with the implications of what’s happening to him.MORNING Hannah looks longingly at Jacob’s plate of pancakes.Pacing. and Jacob who stares at her lovingly. 71 INT. locked with Hannah’s. watches a LOVELORN GUY switch plates with his GIRLFRIEND. COFFEE SHOP . 69 * * * * * * * He looks at the next table. switches plates.. all entranced by the movie. Fingers pulling at his own hair. A drink. Uh-oh. HANDS are held between COUPLES.87.NIGHT DOLLY DOWN the row. Suddenly. 69 INT. MOVIE THEATRE . and finally. he loses the battle: he tucks Hannah under a blanket. More pacing. -.

. Romantic chemistry. Sorry.. Jessica stands there. Awkward beat. She smiles back weakly. DAVID JACOBOWITZ Wow. across from her. Are they going to kiss? Holy cow. THE DOOR OPENS.CONTINUOUS ACTION Tracy sits at a table. And I was wondering if -TRACY David. She’s carrying those same flowers. Jessica. times I’ve been having lately. which is a substantial upgrade from the rest of the. You know. This is the moment. notices that same SAD SACK MIDDLE-AGED GUY. So. FLOWERS off to the side. It’s almost uncanny.88. And then. 74 EXT.” IGNORE. stop. RESTAURANT . 72 CONTINUED: 72 He looks towards the bar. looks at Tracy and smiles. David walks Tracy to the front door. sees it’s “Cal. They LAUGH. He picks up his cell. JESSICA TRACY Oh.. I had a nice time. (MORE) (CONTINUED) . Also alone. WEAVER HOUSE .LATER The awkward end of a first date. Hello. DAVID JACOBOWITZ I had fun tonight. that’s exactly what I was thinking. Her She hits He 73 * * * * * * * * 74 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * PULL BACK to reveal DAVID JACOBWITZ. Jessica. phone rings. Hi. 73 INT. so if you’d like to take me there sometime I guess I wouldn’t say no. I don’t think I’m ready to start dating but my ex clearly is and there’s a yogurt shop where they make this eight calorie ice cream that tastes like a laxative. this is my work-friend. Tracy. She looks at it. Look..

Okay. TRACY So how much do I owe yo-JESSICA Did you know your kids are the only ones I baby-sit for who always want to stay awake so they can see their dad when he gets home. 74 CONTINUED: TRACY (CONT'D) He’s an accountant named David. don’t get me wrong -. He EXITS. Jessica. they fight with everything they have to keep their eyes open so they can hear what Dad had for dinner. Spreadsheets.and your kids always want to see you. TRACY Tracy reaches for her purse. and he’s decent.89. How was dinner? TRACY It was just for work. or how he liked the movie. this is my baby-sitter. (CONTINUED) . well everything sounds great. I mean. JESSICA (pointedly) It’s a pretty dress. Lot of kids want to stay awake for Mom -. INSIDE THE DOOR Robbie sneaks down the stairs. From a kneeling position. thanks. awkwardly. David. 74 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * David smiles knowingly. David. Oh. DAVID JACOBOWITZ I’ll see you at work.. Tracy stands there with Jessica. he can hear and see everything. JESSICA So..but not a lot wait up for Dad. awkward. Maybe it’s because he’s good. and he’s kind.

goes right toward a drawer in her dresser. 75 INT. 77 INT. HOUSE .90. TRACY * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 75 * * * * * * * 76 He’s * * * 77 * * * * * * But she’s gone. IN QUICK CUTS we watch as she: Sets it on her dresser. Hits the timer. Jessica! TRACY JESSICA Tracy looks confused. She walks out the door. processing what Jessica just said about Cal. STREET . and heads into the kitchen. explodes? JESSICA I DON’T WANT YOUR SLUTTY MONEY! She storms off. Jessica? Jessica turns. regarding the flowers. JESSICA’S BEDROOM . Steps back. 76 EXT. Robbie rides his bike down the street.. (CONTINUED) . ON ROBBIE at top of the stairs. She pulls out a CAMERA.. Drops her clothes to the floor. 74 CONTINUED: (2) 74 TRACY What are you talking abo-Batshit crazy.LATER CUE MUSIC.MINUTES LATER Jessica ENTERS in a huff. got Tracy’s FLOWERS nestled in his handlebars.CONTINUOUS ACTION Tracy locks the door and leans against it. Tracy SIGHS (”what the hell was that”) and CLOSES the door. She puts the FLOWERS down on the table.

closes the door. takes the flowers. It’s touching. love David J” but the “David J.S.his family -. looking in. Laughing. THE WEAVER BACKYARD . and start eating. and DIALS her phone. Cal’s phone rings. All under cover of night.) Ice cream! Cal looks into the living room.91. He jumps to silence it. She quickly puts the envelope in a drawer and heads for the door. OUTSIDE..” for a beat. Tracy has brought out ice cream: a carton with three spoons..MOMENTS LATER She opens the front door.inside. thinks of something. suspicious. envelope reading: “Cal Weaver.” She shakes her head. trims and waters. Molly watching her show in hers. Just then: With a heart. JESSICA’S HOUSE . She steps into the KITCHEN. closes the door. join her. Cal: * * * * * * * It’s horribly painful. The kids race down the stairs. 77 CONTINUED: 77 Prints a PHOTO from her camera.. He fertilizes. Tracy in the kitchen. 79 EXT. where we discover: Cal in stealth mode. Cal leans toward the window. She looks at the note. tending to his backyard. Jessica jumps.” has been crossed out and replaced with “Robbie. It reads: “Just give me a chance. (CONTINUED) ..LATE EVENING MUSIC CONTINUES as we spy the Weaver family through their windows: Robbie plays video games in his room. 78 INT. We MOVE DOWN the house. We take in the real-time TABLEAU: Cal’s wife and children -. And places it in an * * * * * * * 78 * * * * * * * 79 * * * * * * * * * * * * * She stares at the envelope HER DOORBELL RINGS. and OUTSIDE. Tracy looks at her kids. Sitting on her stoop: The same flowers that David Jacobowitz gave Tracy sit out front. INSIDE. watching them from the outside. It’s complicated. Kids! TRACY (O. started.

I’m glad you called. TRACY CAL She pantomimes this in the kitchen. hesitates. there it goes! (CONTINUED) . Now turn that to the right and stick the match in. TRACY Okay. Cal. TRACY Oh. CAL Now. what do I do? Cal lowers the phone. looks at her.. TRACY I’m sorry to bother you. I just. Silence. CAL TRACY She has no idea.92. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Then: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I * * * * * * * * * * Cal is looking at her inside. Here: I’ll walk you through it. TRACY CAL Push. Pull it down. (then) Do you see the little grey door? Yeah. Obviously Cal sees she’s not in the basement. I’m in the basement. it’s fine. TRACY So... you see the red button? wrote ‘push’ on it? I got it. 79 CONTINUED: 79 Hello? Hi. CAL It’s fine.. it’s down. I’m trying to get the water heater working ‘cause the pilot’s out and I don’t know how to relight it.

Cal. CAL No.MORNING Cal sits on his little couch. Now what? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 80 TRACY Well. Cal HANGS up. Molly is once again absorbed in High School Musical.. Now just close the door and you’re good to go. Wanna stay for dinner? Sure. I. Cal looks depressed. CAL’S CORPORATE APARTMENT . Silence. appreciate your help.93. thanks. thanks again. He takes one final look back at his wife as the sprinklers go off in the backyard and douse him. there’s a shocker. Robbie doesn’t look much better. * CAL Nanna’s coming over tonight. we’ll have to tell her. between Robbie and Molly.. The charade is over.. CAL Well. ROBBIE She still won’t talk to you? (CONTINUED) * * . anytime.. (off their silence) What do you guys want to do today? MOLLY (not looking up) High School Musical. 79 CONTINUED: (2) 79 CAL Good. (awkward beat) Talk to you later? Yeah. You guys haven’t seen her in a while. ROBBIE CAL Your mom’s working till five. She goes back into her trance. TRACY And. Call anytime with stuff like that. 80 INT.

94. Cal turns to Molly. Silence. CAL I will say this though: I got close. REMOTE in * * * CAL Baby? I’m gonna have to turn off the show. Robbie smiles. A long.. No! I have to -NOOOO! MOLLY CAL MOLLY CAL I’m turning it off -NOOOOOOOOOOO! MOLLY Molly Then: He just does it! He turns the TV off. CAL Oh. runs off. We were laughing. His eyes drift to the TV. Talking about old times. buddy. A LIGHT BULB goes on. stares. Get your coat. Just hellos and goodbyes when we pass you guys off. turns towards him. I mean. Mom. beat. ROBBIE No.. It’s the timeless GOLF SCENE from High School Musical II. Cal looks pained. all the things we used to do. (CONTINUED) . hand. What happened? ROBBIE CAL Beyond your pay-grade. CAL (to Robbie) Hey. scary. 80 CONTINUED: 80 CAL Not if that show’s on. no.

LATER Cal talks to a different SALESMAN.95.CONTINUOUS ACTION Cal picks up materials. HOME DEPOT . but old bit of again * * * * * * * . HOME DEPOT . 81 INT. 82 83 EXT. BERNIE. Robbie and Molly extend a MEASURING TAPE across the ground. excited. Bernie. into. Cal KISSES her. 80 CONTINUED: (2) 80 MOLLY (free at last) Thank you. 82 Robbie and Molly bounce around. Cal. Cal takes off. jumps up from the couch. Thanks for the cologne.CONTINUOUS ACTION Molly points out her three favorite DAY LABORERS. assisting. Oh.LATER Cal talks to a SALESMAN.. 83 84 INT. PARTY SUPPLY STORE .. 81 INT.. he runs BERNIE CAL 84 * * * * * * * * * BERNIE So how’ve you -CAL Bernie: I’d love to catch I’m doing something at the house tonight and I’m in a a rush so. U-HAUL CENTER . As he rounds a corner.CONTINUOUS ACTION Cal rents a TRUCK. SPORTING GOODS STORE .. 85 up. 85 EXT. hey. yeah. Cal hires them.

Cal’s cell phone RINGS. I mean. Oh. CAL (disbelieving) Okay. This woman. We go -- 86 * * * 86A SPLIT SCREEN with JACOB on his.96. I know I’ve been out of circulation. CAL You abandoned me at my time of need.. God.. 86A * * * * JACOB I’m sorry. One woman. I bet you did. JACOB I’ve been a little.. I’ve been spending a lot of time with her.LATER Some kind of construction is going on back there. WEAVER BACKYARD . tonight. Hello? Hey. in his car. 86 INT.. CAL (laughing) Whoa!!!! Look at you! You do realize you might actually have to answer a question or two about yourself? (CONTINUED) * * * . He’s waiting outside a LIQUOR STORE CAL JACOB CAL It’s alive. I’m going to meet her mother.. My. whatever.. Cal. I met a woman. CAL * * * * * * * * * JACOB No. things have gotten a bit. JACOB Actually.

It’s addressed to Cal Weaver. JACOB * * * 87 * * * * Cal HANGS up.97. and gets back to work. I realize that. Good for you. 89 INT. a shit-eating grin on his face. Jessica lies on the floor. Claire ENTERS. WEAVER HOUSE .. He’s standing outside the front door in a tuxedo. she hands Bernie the envelope. Claire is putting away laundry. 86A CONTINUED: 86A JACOB Yes. he’s REALLY into her. LAUGHS to himself. 87 EXT. No!!!! JESSICA 89 * * * She jumps. (CONTINUED) . some underwear in Jessica’s bottom drawer. Jessica looks up. but it’s too late. 88 INT. Jacob can’t help but smile: wow. Hannah comes out of the wine store.. Zombie-like. JACOB Grab a beer next week? CAL You’ve got my number. As she pulls in she notices Robbie. she picks it up. She SIGHS (”what now?”) and parks the car. Looks inside. (then) Hey. by the way. CLAIRE AND BERNIE’S LIVING ROOM . Curiosity piqued. sees it. She throws 88 * * Notices something.LATER THAT NIGHT Tracy pulls up to her house. doing homework. Gotta go. ashen. asshole. hops over the car. Thanks.CONTINUOUS ACTION Big Bernie sits in a recliner. Almost faints. An envelope. JESSICA’S BEDROOM Meanwhile. watching football and drinking a cold one.

dazed. * BACK TO SCENE Daddy? JESSICA Bernie puts a hand up. ON ENVELOPE Cal’s name. he’s carrying a bunch of SCARVES. 89 CONTINUED: 89 ON BERNIE Staring at the picture. Not only is he wearing a tuxedo. Tracy LAUGHS. Tracy approaches Robbie. He marches out the door. Baby! TRACY What are you wearing!? ROBBIE Dad’s here. He can’t speak. (weary) What is this? TRACY What is he doing? * (CONTINUED) . From inside we hear a car SCREECH AWAY. Bernie. Tracy’s face drops.CONTINUOUS ACTION Jessica runs into a second car. 91 EXT. A heart. Races after her father. We don’t see it. He looks at the envelope again. * * * ROBBIE I have to blindfold you. 90 * 91 * * * * EXT. but we get the point: it’s a father’s worst nightmare. ON JESSICA Realizing. slides the pictures back into the envelope.98. JESSICA’S HOUSE . WEAVER HOUSE Meanwhile. 90 She grabs a second set of keys.

ON THE BACKYARD Cal’s Shangri-La has been transformed: the yard holds a FULL-BLOWN MINIATURE GOLF HOLE. please? Almost. windmill and all. double-knots it. CAL * * * TRACY Can I take these off. T. Hi. You’ll make it out alive. There’s no expression on Bernie’s face. She can’t help but smile. not Al Queda. 92 INT. Cal stands behind it all. WEAVER BACKYARD Robbie leads a blindfolded Tracy into the backyard. We see what she is not yet privy to. At the ENVELOPE bearing Cal’s address. It’s frightening. He RACES through a light.CONTINUOUS ACTION Jessica is the one BLARING THE HORN. in a tux. He ties a SCARF around her eyes. Kids? CAL * (CONTINUED) . allowing Robbie to BLINDFOLD HER from behind.99. let’s do this. She too RACES through the same light. we’re good. He looks down at passenger seat. Then ANOTHER! ROBBIE Okay. He’s your husband. She looks like a zombie with all the scarves over her face. 93 92 * INT. BERNIE’S CAR Meanwhile. 91 CONTINUED: 91 ROBBIE Relax. Mom. She kneels down. JESSICA’S CAR . * 94 * * 94 EXT. crying and panicked. 93 A HORN blares behind him. Then ANOTHER at a different angle.

carries a glass of champagne to Tracy and puts it in her hand.S. in a PARTY DRESS. Daddy. Holding a bottle of wine and smiling like an idiot. TRACY No. Tracy SIGHS. TRACY Well. might as well wait for your daughter. CAL (launching in) Twenty-five years ago. Cal Weaver saw Tracy Boyle for the first time. T. JACOB. 94 CONTINUED: 94 Robbie CUES music (which will play throughout this scene). Molly. Everyone freezes.. giving up.. walking the halls of Woodside Middle School -TRACY Cal: are you seriously doing this in front of the kids? ROBBIE (quickly) If it goes bad I’m supposed to take Molly upstairs and put the TV on loud. CAL HANNAH WTF! And right behind her.) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * From inside the house steps out. Nanna! Hi.. Huh? Just then: Hello? VOICE (O. Cal? JACOB * (CONTINUED) .. CAL She’s right next to you.100. HANNAH. your other daughter.

No. * (CONTINUED) . Nanna. cutie. CAL No. No. Robbie. Nanna. 94 CONTINUED: (2) 94 CAL What the hell are you doing here? JACOB What the hell are you doing here? HANNAH Wait. I couldn’t pronounce Hannah when I was little -. what’s going on? Hey. Nanna. this is my boyfriend. ROBBIE HANNAH MOLLY HANNAH * JACOB WHAT THE HELL IS A NANNA!? HANNAH It’s me.wait. so how do you know my dad? JACOB (realizing) Oh. Jacob. Hey. you two know each other? TRACY (still blind) Hi. No. Hey. CAL (freaking) I'M NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT’S GOING ON HERE! HANNAH Dad. CAL Wait.101. Hey. God.

102. Daddy!!! HANNAH * * * JACOB Well. DAD! HANNAH TRACY (down to two scarves) Will someone please take this goddamn thing off me! CAL Robbie.. that’s not going to happen. then I’m going to murder you..you and her. really know each other? CAL No way -. no way. looking up) Bernie? * * (CONTINUED) . like. End it. take the goddamn thing off your mother! (then. 94 CONTINUED: (3) 94 TRACY I want to see the boyfriend! (struggling with scarves) Can someone please take this off? JACOB HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A 24-YEAROLD DAUGHTER!? CAL I WAS SEVENTEEN! SHE WAS OUR SENIOR YEAR HICCUP! IT’S WHY WE GOT MARRIED SO YOUNG! JACOB WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER TELL ME THAT? CAL YOU NEVER LET ME TALK ABOUT MY CHILDREN! HANNAH So you two. CAL Well. now.

no! JESSICA * * * * * ROBBIE Is that Jessica? BAM! Bernie lands a solid right into Cal’s jaw. stop! JESSICA He hesitates. Jessica throws herself on Cal. 94 CONTINUED: (4) 94 SLAM! A body flies into Cal and knocks him OUT OF FRAME. even know. Tries to pull Bernie off. Daddy. Jacob with an UPPERCUT! Jacob! HANNAH * Bernie NAILS * CAL (getting pummelled) Bernie. readies to bash it over Cal’s head..103.. It’s Bernie! Behind him. JESSICA runs after her father. BERNIE I LET HER BABY-SIT FOR YOU. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! Bernie picks up a WINDMILL from the miniature GOLF COURSE. He doesn’t This breaks Bernie’s trance. (CONTINUED) . SCREAMING: Daddy. Daddy! Daddy! HANNAH JESSICA * TRACY (yanking on blindfold) What’s happening? Bernie is pummeling Cal. JESSICA He didn’t do anything. YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! SHE’S SEVENTEEN! Jacob dives in.

ROBBIE You made him dirty pictures? God. turns. please get this off me! ROBBIE (struggling with it) I’m TRYING! JESSICA He doesn’t even know that I’m in love with him! Robbie stops. Oh (CONTINUED) . * He gets ready to pummel some more. BERNIE Jessica grabs him. 94 CONTINUED: (5) 94 Know what? Know what? ROBBIE CAL TRACY (still blindfolded) Robbie. JESSICA (to Bernie) He doesn’t even know about the dirty pictures I made for him. With who? ROBBIE JESSICA (pointing at Cal) With him.104. CAL Are you pointing at me? ROBBIE Are you pointing at him? TRACY Who is she pointing at!? ROBBIE (processing) Wait: my dad is the older guy you’ve been seeing? I knew it.

jealous. 94 CONTINUED: (6) 94 Robbie looks to Cal. and broken- * * * * * * * ROBBIE (to Cal) You’re the one? You’re the one she. Jacob LEVELS David Jacobowitz with a right HANNAH * * * * * * Jacob! JACOB You know how much misery you’ve put this poor bastard through!? Before Jacob can finish. He’s angry. * (CONTINUED) . CAL Stay the hell away from my daughter.) I’m sorry... Cal LEVELS Jacob. JACOB David Jacobowitz! CAL David Jacobowitz!? DAVID JACOBOWITZ Is this a bad time -WHACK!!! hook. furious) You stole my soulmate. Who are you? HANNAH * * * * * * * * DAVID JACOBOWITZ David Jacobowitz. (then. is Tracy home? Everyone turns: DAVID JACOBOWITZ stands in the doorway. Wait: CAL Jessica is your soulmate? VOICE (O. hearted all at once.S. DAVID JACOBOWITZ You left your sweater in my car the other night.105. He’s holding up a SWEATER in his right hand.

* POLICE OFFICER #1 Just. (CONTINUED) . REVEAL: TWO POLICE OFFICERS standing in the center of the yard. Jacob. and children watch the battle in horror. then: 95 * * * * * * POLICE OFFICER #1 Look. David jumps on Jacob. 95 INT.106. TRACY Thank you... at each other. Officer. okay? Jacob SNARFS down a laugh. thinks. I don’t even know what to put down here. bloodied but still. okay? ‘Cause honestly. POLICE OFFICER #1 Well. I’ll kill you. The first cop. 94 CONTINUED: (7) 94 Jacob JUMPS on Cal. Stops there. and EXIT. but if you’re gonna fight -. Bernie tries The women CUT TO: Jessica finally gets the blindfold off Tracy. simmer down. CAL Cal glares at him. SHRUG. okay? We all have arguments. (to his partner) What do you think? The other cop SHRUGS. to pull them apart. Keep it in the family. * The cops look at Cal. walks to the door. He nods. I’m just gonna write domestic disturbance reported but all clear. okay. WEAVER BACKYARD . One of them finishes writing in a pad. and David Jacobowitz sit side-by-side on the miniature golf hole.LATER Cal. That should about do it. Bernie.just do it inside.

CAL This man is a lowlife and a womanizer -TRACY (under her breath) Oh. 95 CONTINUED: 95 ON THE YARD Awkward silence. She NODS. what? Tracy doesn’t push it. 97 BACK INSIDE Jacob approaches Cal. They get in their respective cars.107. 96 IN THE STREET as Jessica runs after her father. CAL I’m sorry. Our whole cast is there: disheveled and bloodied. Bernie turns to Jessica. Cal -Cal turns to Hannah. Don’t. The place looks like a hurricane has hit. that’s ironic. JESSICA I’m so sorry -NOW! BERNIE Robbie runs to the driveway. looks: 96 * * And that’s that. BERNIE Now. drive off. (CONTINUED) 97 * * CAL JACOB * * * * * * * * * . A miniature golf hole torn to shreds. Cal whips around. Cal turns back to Hannah. Let’s go. * * * * Looks back at Cal. trying to apologize. But he won’t even look at her.

CAL! CAL AND YOU MADE DAMN SURE OF THAT DIDN’T YOU. SWEETHEART!? This time it’s Tracy whose face registers shock. Over and over again. JACOB (one last try) Cal. HANNAH Dad. Dad -HANNAH * * * * * CAL GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! ON HANNAH shocked. but I have. BACK TO SCENE TRACY Cal. takes Jacob’s hand. 97 CONTINUED: 97 CAL You may not be able to see it. MOLLY (calling out) Goodbye. stop being unreasona-I said: HOUSE! CAL GET THE HELL OUT OF MY * * * * * * * Hannah * TRACY IT’S NOT YOUR HOUSE ANYMORE. pulls him away. c’mon -But Cal won’t even look at him. Cal turns away. Nanna.108. (CONTINUED) * . c’mon. CAL Well then I don’t have anything else to say to you. You are not to see him any more. I’m not going to stop seeing him.

* * * * * * * * * Before he goes.. buddy? Robbie looks up at him. David. cold. 99 JESSICA 2) 100 at home. thinks.” 98 ROBBIE 1) ROBBIE.109. grounded and sad. 101 TRACY 4) at her office. and DELETES JESSICA. CAL Go big or go home. at school. 97 CONTINUED: (2) 97 HANNAH (through tears) Goodbye. Dad. Go home. EXITS. VARIOUS LOCATIONS . 100 99 * * * JACOB 3) trying to get HANNAH to make a phone call to her father. His spirit is crushed. They EXIT. He looks at his CONTACT LIST. Cal stops in front of Robbie. 98 INT. And speaking of Cal... then grabs his things. Cal NODS. Ouch.THE NEXT MONTH CUE: John Mayer’s “Who Says. Cal lets them go. cutie.. 101 * * . TRACY (wounded) * * * Nice. right. finally taking down the picture of her and Cal. she won’t. CAL She’s all yours.

it’s okay. 102 * * * CAL 2:30 would have been sufficient but I appreciate the judgment. another drink would be grand. No. vodka-cranberry out of a wimpy red straw. 102 INT. this is “Sad Mess Cal. As always.AFTERNOON (THREE WEEKS LATER) Cal sits back at his usual table. JACOB It’s a nice sweatsuit. he looks perfectly put together. I deserved it.” He’s grown a patchy beard.” the Jacob disciple.110. (then) Yes. She EXITS. As she re-approaches: Sorry for * CAL That was uncalled for. He’s drinking. can you? (CONTINUED) . A WAITRESS APPROACHES. WAITRESS In the afternoon.) Ah. He takes in Cal. once again. Cocktail Waitress. being a dick. WAITRESS Can I get you another? CAL What time is it? 2:30. Cal. He’s wearing a ratty sweatsuit. It’s pathetic.S. BAR . Cal feels bad for that one. CAL What do you want? Can I sit? JACOB * CAL I don’t know. JACOB (O. This isn’t “Cool Cal. ON JACOB Standing there.

are we going to be mature about this. Cal. you’ve got a lot of nerve coming here -Just then. so like children then. drink.. the WAITRESS re-approaches. 102 CONTINUED: 102 JACOB Okay. Jacob still has that power over him. JACOB I’d like to talk. or act like children? CAL (mimicking) ‘Are we going to be mature or act like children?’ JACOB Okay. JACOB You been hanging out here a lot? Sometimes.. Some vacation.111. Jacob SLIDES in. JACOB CAL I hate the beach. Delivers Cal’s (CONTINUED) * . CAL You still seeing my daughter? Yes. Cal looks. JACOB Move * CAL Then I have nothing to say to you. She EXITS. CAL JACOB Must be missing a lot of work. over. JACOB (then) Cal. look at me. They wait her out. CAL I have a lot of vacation days.

CAL You’re hanging out with my kids. CAL He’s not my biggest fan right now. it all just seemed so. JACOB Well you haven’t exactly been around for him. 102 CONTINUED: (2) 102 JACOB You want a sip? CAL No. (then) I never got it. that’s a good excuse -CAL Alright. so pathetic. if your lecture on parental responsibility is almost done -JACOB I love her. JACOB Oh. I saw people in love -. (then) (MORE) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (CONTINUED) . JACOB His eighth grade graduation is next week. Jacob NODS as Cal pushes the drink away.. man-whore.112. JACOB Your kids miss you. Honestly. I heard them say the things they said. Cal. she probably spit in it. fantastic! You can teach Robbie how to objectify women. he’ll love that. I’ve never even been in ‘like’ before.I saw weakness. Cal. Cal looks up.. JACOB I’ve never been in love before. and do the things they do. You coming? CAL Of course I’m coming.

GRADUATION CEREMONY . Just as he wants it.. to introduce the first student speaker: our very own English teacher Kate Thompson! Cal’s former conquest steps onto stage.O. Jessica sits with her family a few rows away. You are not good enough for my daughter. All look nice. Cal looks nauseous. Tracy. 102 Cal looks up at Jacob. and Hannah sit in the front row. He smiles. Cal. Cal is alone.113. Cal is now shaven and well-dressed but he looks miserable.ONE WEEK LATER A small MIDDLE-SCHOOL AMPHITHEATER. MANY ROWS BACK -Sits Cal... * (CONTINUED) . JACOB I’ll see you at graduation. Jacob arrives. are they saving it for him? But just then. * * * * * * * * 103 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * CAL I know you. The PRINCIPAL labors * * * VOICE (V. About 150 people fill the crowd of an intimate middle school graduation. Molly.. And you will never have my permission nor my approval. 103 Once more. Kisses Hannah and takes “Cal’s” seat. 102 CONTINUED: (3) JACOB (CONT'D) She’s my perfect combination of everything. sandwiched between RANDOM SPECTATORS. AN EMPTY SEAT between Tracy and Hannah. I know what you are. and now. EXT. He EXITS.. through her introduction. His eyes brighten for a moment as he notices. ON STAGE We WATCH the ceremony for a moment. He leans forward. gently. Jacob stands.) ....

114. 103 CONTINUED: 103

AHEAD OF CAL Tracy looks away, clearly uncomfortable at the teacher’s presence. She accidentally catches Cal’s eye. Awkward. KATE Our next speaker is not only the class salutatorian, but he’s also one of the most... (searching) Spirited... young men, I’ve ever had the pleasure of teaching. Ladies and gentlemen: Robbie Weaver. Robbie takes the stage to APPLAUSE. This is not the same kid we’ve come to love. There’s something different in his face. He’s been broken. He spots JESSICA. ROBBIE (a bit monotone) Thank you, Mrs. Thompson. Welcome, Class of 2011. (a beat) I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to talk about today. Mrs. Thompson said it might be good to talk about growing up and getting older and stuff. So I guess I’ll talk about that. Cal watches, concerned. Where’s his son?

* * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ROBBIE I grew up a lot this year, I think. I used to think that growing up meant really growing. Like getting taller and bigger. But now I think that growing up just makes you smaller. Your dreams get smaller, and what you want gets smaller... (beat, then) I grew an inch and a half this year, but I feel a lot smaller. Cal sits forward, getting increasingly concerned. ROBBIE I was in love. And I know that makes parents laugh because I’m only thirteen but whatever, I was. (MORE)

(CONTINUED)

115. 103 CONTINUED: (2) ROBBIE (CONT'D) I believed that there was one true love for everyone, and if you fought for that person, your one true love would always work out. But that’s not how it works. It sounded good when I was younger, but... it’s just not how it works. There’s no such thing as one true love for everyo-103

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Stop!

CAL (O.S.)

Robbie turns. Cal is STANDING in the middle of the crowd. Everyone turns to look at him. Dad? Hi. ROBBIE CAL

(awkward, to crowd) Hi, everyone. Silence. No one knows what to do. really uncomfortable. Cal is suddenly

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

CAL May I have a word with my son? It’ll just take a second. Cal tries to extricate himself from his row. He steps over people, squeezes by people, almost trips. Finally clear, he gathers himself, and tries to keep his dignity as he marches down the aisle -- past his family. Robbie comes to the front of the stage, bends down. ROBBIE (heated whisper) What are you doing? I don’t know. CAL What are you doing?

Robbie’s eyes well up with tears. ROBBIE I was wrong, Dad. There’s no such thing as -Cal turns toward the crowd, announces:

(CONTINUED)

116. 103 CONTINUED: (3) 103

CAL My son’s graduation speech sucks. GASPS from the crowd. ON CAL Now standing, alone, front and center in front of an entire eighth grade graduation ceremony. He looks behind him at the panel of TEACHERS. THOMPSON discreetly gives Cal the finger. CAL In fairness, I don’t know where he was going but I think we can all agree it was heading in a pretty depressing direction. And I basically wrote it for him. I mean, I didn’t literally write it but I sure as hell influenced it, and the kid’s already a spitting image of his mother and I’ll be damned if this is what he’s going to get from me. People squirm, uncomfortable. This is a train wreck. MRS.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(CONTINUED)

CAL My son -- not him, my actual son -he believes in grand romantic gestures. He believes that people have soulmates. And we always want to tell our thirteen-yearolds that they’re wrong, that ‘one day you’ll understand, young man.’ But maybe it should be the other way around. He looks at Tracy, out in the crowd. CAL I met my soulmate when I was fifteen years old. Our first date, we went for ice cream. After, my dad started teasing me about my ‘first date’ the way dads do. And I told him: ‘stop making a big deal, Dad. I’m going to go on lots of dates with plenty of girls.’ That was the first time I ever lied to my father. (then) (MORE)

and I love you. Cal kisses his son on the head.. for reminding me of that.. Robbie heads over to his family. They hug him. and I have loved her even as I’ve hated her -only married couples can truly understand that one.I don’t.LATER The ceremony is over. GRADUATION CEREMONY . adoring. His boy is back. The crowd reacts (LAUGHS. turns to Jacob. Hi. Daddy. Cal stands back and smiles.117. CAL My perfect girl. kiss him. He kisses her forehead. then motions towards the microphone.. (CONTINUED) .) as Robbie continues. Nanna. of every day.but I promise you this: I will never stop trying. And I don’t know what will wind up happening with us -. When you find ‘the one’ you never give up trying. my amazing boy. 103 CONTINUED: (4) CAL (CONT'D) I met my soulmate when I was fifteen years old. I have loved her through the birth of our three perfect children. 103 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 104 * * * * * * * * * * * Robbie hugs his father as the crowd reacts. Jessica! I’ve loved you since the first time you changed my sister’s diaper! I’ve loved you since. 104 EXT. I’m sorry I can’t give you that -. CAL HANNAH He smiles at her. Robbie grabs it with newfound gusto and announces: ROBBIE I still love you. And I have loved her with everything I have for every minute.. Cal approaches Hannah and Jacob. ever since she let me buy her that first mint chip ice cream. etc. Robbie. CHEERS.

I ordered a Colt . shakes hands with Cal. I’m not going to -CAL Shut up.45 on a shady internet site. I can show you the receipt. It’s actually not as bad as I thought. 104 CONTINUED: 104 CAL I already ordered a gun. Cal notices: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Jacob smiles. I am prepared to shoot you in the face. CAL I like that. order is restored in the universe.. If you hurt her. CAL Is that a new shirt? JACOB Hannah took me to the Gap. OVER TO ROBBIE Who approaches Jessica. And like that. how are things with your dad? * (CONTINUED) .118. Seriously? CAL JACOB Of course not. Cal. Jacob. It’s the Gap.. I’m not kidding. ROBBIE So. Awkward. JESSICA I wouldn’t have missed it. Wow. Jacob shuts up. ROBBIE It was nice of you to come. JACOB Cal. I got this at Nordstrom’s.

JESSICA It’s a good plan. I took a summer internship up at Stanford. To help get you through high school. Love-struck once more. (then) You were a good baby-sitter. Cal steps the same type of Jessica kisses * * * * * * * * CAL You okay. and one day I’ll look like my dad. Jessica smiles. him. probably a good idea.119. gonna head up there early. JESSICA Wait: I thought you weren’t giving up. He holds out his hand. buddy? (CONTINUED) .. She hands him something in an ENVELOPE: envelope she once used for. But I figure: you like my dad. reaches into her purse. Robbie peeks inside. sweetly. on the cheek.. His eyes BUG OUT. to shake. JESSICA You take care. Robbie. ROBBIE I’m not. She looks over her shoulder. ROBBIE Yeah. up next to his son. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Jessica. Figure it can’t hurt to get out of his line of sight for a while. so I’ll just come for you then. JESSICA Until then: a little graduation gift. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 JESSICA Strained. Robbie watches her go. formally.

CAL I’ve been working on it for thirty years. She LAUGHS. TRACY Do you think we can ever come back from all this. emotional. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * And then: (CONTINUED) TRACY (O. Cal smiles. I know I’d like to try. I’d like to try though. so many problems I’ve lost count. Cal turns. They share the moment in silence. Cal walks over toward her.. simply: TRACY I am just so glad you took me for that ice cream.S.. And we have all these problems.. Then.. Cal smiles. the only thing I know -She stops herself. She nods. Tracy has been watching. Tracy smiles. then. Dad. TRACY Things are just so messed up. quiet. And it’s been such a strange year. thinking. TRACY You gave a good eighth grade graduation speech. Robbie runs off to join his friends.120. 104 CONTINUED: (3) 104 ROBBIE (re: envelope) I am now.) I’m terrified of what’s going to become of him once he hits puberty. I am now. I’ve been in such a strange place. Cal? CAL I don’t know. so. but at the end of the day. * . I mean. CAL We might have to lock him up.

104 CONTINUED: (4) 104 TRACY It was rocky road by the way. Robbie steps away from his friends and watches them enjoy one another’s company. THE END . No! CAL * * * * * * * * * FADE OUT. As they JOKE and ARGUE about what flavor the ice cream was. we PULL BACK.121. Off to the side. He smiles.

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