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Su8vL8SlvL lAC1S Anu PluuLn lnlC8MA1lCn ln 8AÞlu-ll8L lC8MA1
© 2004 8uss klck
Lach ºguesL llsL" © 2004 by lLs auLhor
Þubllshed by 1he ulslnformaLlon Company LLd.
163 1hlrd Avenue, SulLe 108
new ?ork, n? 10003
ueslgn & LayouL: Þaul Þollard 1omo Maklura and Mary Mcuonnell for n?C
All rlghLs reserved. no parL of Lhls book may be reproduced, sLored ln a daLabase or oLher reLrleval sysLem, or
LransmlLLed ln any form, by any means now exlsLlng or laLer dlscovered, lncludlng wlLhouL llmlLaLlon mechanlcal,
elecLronlc, phoLographlc or oLherwlse, wlLhouL Lhe express prlor wrlLLen permlsslon of Lhe publlsher.
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avallable on bulk purchases of Lhls book for educaLlonal Lralnlng purposes, fund-ralslng, or glfL-glvlng. Speclal
books, bookleLs, or book excerpLs can also be creaLed Lo flL your speclflc needs. lor lnformaLlon conLacL MarkeLlng
ueparLmenL of 1he ulslnformaLlon Company LLd.
ulslnformaLlon ls a reglsLered Lrademark of 1he ulslnformaLlon Company LLd.
1he oplnlons and sLaLemenLs made ln Lhls book are Lhose of Lhe auLhor or Lhe sources he clLes. 1he ulslnformaLlon
Company LLd. has noL verlfled and nelLher conflrms nor denles any of Lhe foregolng and no warranLy or flLness ls
lmplled. 1he ulslnformaLlon Company LLd. shall have no llablllLy or responslblllLy Lo any person or enLlLy wlLh
respecL Lo any loss or damage arlslng from Lhe lnformaLlon conLalned ln Lhls book or from Lhe use Lhereof or
CCn1Ln1S lnLroducLlonAbouL Lhe AuLhorAcknowledgmenLs
39 lamous Þeople Who used urugs42 lamous urlnkers of vln Marlanl20 lamous urlnkers of
AbslnLheA uozen uS ÞollLlclans Who Pave Smoked ÞoL31 ÞroducLs ConLalnlng Pard urugs9 uS
Companles Allowed Lo ManufacLure lllegal urugs6 lllegal SubsLances 1haL Cccur naLurally ln
Cur 8odles12 Songs AbouL urugs16 Legal SubsLances 1haL Can Cause lalse ÞoslLlves on urug
1esLs12 SLrange urugs82 8rands of Peroln42+ 1hlngs 1haL Pave 8een Made CuL of Pemp10 of
Chong's 8ongs12 Ways Lo AlLer ?our Consclousness WlLhouL urugs
Crlme and ÞunlshmenL +
13 lnnocenL Þeople Who WenL Lo Þrlson36 8oLched LxecuLlons by Mlchael L. 8adeleL, Þh.u.13
LasL Meals 8equesLed by LxecuLed 1exas Þrlsoners8 Pandmade Þrlson Cb[ecLs3 SLaLes Where
CockflghLlng ls Legal14 Crlmlnal Cops and 1helr ºÞunlshmenLs"
leds and Spooks +
23 1lps for lnLerrogaLlng a Þrlsoner, lrom Lhe ClA7 ClA ÞloLs Lo klll CasLro34 ClA CrypLonyms3
ueslgnaLlons of lmporLance used by Lhe ClA10 ClA lronL Companles111 Þeople Who Are Lhe
Sub[ecLs of l8l llles6 8ands 1haL Are Lhe Sub[ecLs of l8l llles9 1hlngs 1haL Wlll ulsquallfy ?ou
lrom LmploymenL wlLh Lhe l8l17 CuesLlons ?ou'll be Asked When Applylng Lo 8ecome an l8l
AgenL10 CldesL SLlll-Classlfled uocumenLs aL Lhe naLlonal Archlves
War and Þeace +
23 CuoLes 8egardlng Lhe 2003 lnvaslon of lraq12 ArgumenLs AgalnsL Lhe Þollce SLaLe aL
CuanLanamo 8ay13 LxoLlc Cuns and knlves11 MaLerlals 1haL Pave 8een Made lnLo Cuns20
Mlshaps 1haL MlghL Pave SLarLed nuclear War by Alan l. Þhlllps, M.u.13 nuclear 1esLs 1haL
Spread 8adlaLlon lnLo Clvlllan Areas46 nuclear 1esLs by Lhe uS33 names of uefense
ueparLmenL lnLernal lnvesLlgaLlons13 Þrograms lrom uA8ÞA's uefuncL lnformaLlon Awareness
Cfflce40 uS lnLervenLlons ln LaLln Amerlca ln Lhe 1800s by nlck MamaLas
CorporaLe 8esponslblllLy +
36 CorporaLlons 1haL 8lpped off Lhe uS CovernmenL9 vlslLors Who uled aL ulsneyland by
8arbara and uavld Þ. Mlkkelson32 ClgareLLe AddlLlves33 Companles 8eporLedly uolng 8uslness
WlLh Lnemy naLlons1op 100 CorporaLlons Laylng off uS Workers uue Lo nAl1A
12 LroLlc Works by Well-known WrlLers12 Clde-1lmey Þorn 8ooks32 lLems from Lhe uelLa
CollecLlon of Lhe Llbrary of Congress12 unorLhodox Sex ÞracLlces6 Sex AcLs 1haL Are lllegal21
naLural Aphrodlslacs32 lamous Þeople lnvolved ln 1rlads23 SLrange Cenres of Þorn Movle63
Cay Anlmals4 unreleased 8aunchy Songs133 8lzarre and 8eveallng Spam Sub[ecL Llnes Leadlng
Lo Sexually CrlenLed Messages by Þaul krassner11 CuoLes AbouL Sex
3 ºlamlly-Safe" 8lbles18 8lbllcal ALroclLles21 8lbllcal ConLradlcLlons8 8ooks 1haL uldn'L Make lL
lnLo Lhe 8lble18 CelebrlLles lnvolved WlLh Lhe Church of SclenLology6 CelebrlLles lnvolved wlLh
Lhe Church of SaLan87+ Þeople Mormons Pave 8apLlzed by Þroxy813 Þeople kllled by 8ellglous
8lLuals and Cb[ecLs12 Codly Þeople9 8ellglous CuoLes
Movles, Muslc, and Þulp llcLlon +
16 Movles 8anned ln Lhe uS10 unusual lorms and Cenres of Muslc19 Þrofanely-named
8ands23 lranlan 8ock 8ands36 Þulp novels
Cdds & Lnds +
13 1hlngs 1haL Cause or Mlmlc ºMenLal lllnesses"11 Super Cures ?our uocLor Won'L 1ell ?ou
AbouL by ulane ÞeLryk-8loom11 WhlsLle-blowers23 Larly Cases of lnvolunLary Puman
LxperlmenLaLlon8 SLupld ÞollLlclan CuoLes12 Amazon 8evlews of SenaLor 8lll lrlsL's lamlly
PlsLory11 CuoLes AbouL ÞollLlcs and CovernmenL10 8easons Why Cars Suck by Mlckey Z.3
uncommon Sources of Þower12 1hlngs Lo do WlLh ?our 8ody AfLer ?ou're uead19 Sulclde
noLes10 1op Maglclans of Lhe 1wenLleLh CenLury by 8lchard MeLzger17 1aroL uecks44
SubsLances 1haL Soup up ?our 8raln24 1oxlc Chemlcals ln 8lll Moyers12 AccepLable Levels of
lllLh ln lood7 Ldlble llowers8eferences
A book of llsLs? Maybe some of you whlppersnappers ouL Lhere are scraLchlng your heads ln
puzzlemenL. 1hose of us who are a Lad older fondly recall Lhe orlglnal 8ook of LlsLs serles from
Lhe mld-1970s Lo early 1980s (wlLh a fourLh volume ln 1994). l was only a lad Lhen, buL l
uavld Wallechlnsky, Amy Wallace, and lrvlng Wallace were ahead of Lhelr Llme when Lhey flrsL
puL LogeLher Lhese compendlums of rapld-flre facLs. We had yeL Lo enLer Lhe era of Lhe shorL
aLLenLlon span-M1v-sLyle hyperedlLlng, uSA 1oday, Peadllne news neLwork, soundblLes,
blogs, nlnLendo and xbox, fasL food domlnaLlon, and mlcrowave everyLhlng (noL Lo menLlon Lhe
resulLlng ALLenLlon ueflclL ulsorder)-buL Lhey and Lhelr many, many conLrlbuLors, researchers,
and edlLors gave us a mounLaln of knowledge ln an easlly dlgesLlble formaL. We could read
abouL º12 lamous Þeople Who Changed 1helr 8lrLhdays," º8 Cenerals Who never Won a
8aLLle," º18 Words WorLh 8evlvlng," º6 ulC LncounLers of a Sexual klnd," º18 PealLh LxperLs
and Pow 1hey uled," and º9 lamous Pemorrhold Sufferers."
1he formaL caughL on llke wlldflre. Amazon currenLly reLurns 267 hlLs for Lhe LlLle search ºbook
of llsLs." 1hls mlnl-llbrary lncludes 1he ArL 1eacher's 8ook of LlsLs, 1he SouLhern Cardener's
8ook of LlsLs, 1he Marlne Corps 8ook of LlsLs, 1he Cay 8ook of LlsLs, 1he 8rlde's 8ook of LlsLs,
Clvll War 8ook of LlsLs, and 1he CelebrlLy Sex 8ook of LlsLs. Could Lhere be a more versaLlle
formaL for presenLlng facLs? l doubL lL, whlch ls why l'm surprlsed LhaL lL Look me Lhls long Lo
Lhlnk of dolng a book of llsLs for subverslve and unusual lnformaLlon-poL-smoklng pollLlclans,
crlmlnal cops, corporaLe crooks, ClA crypLonyms, gay anlmals, blbllcal conLradlcLlons, banned
movles, and healLh problems LhaL cause or mlmlc so-called menLal lllnesses. ln Lhe LradlLlon of
Lhe orlglnal 8ooks of LlsLs, l asked some conLrlbuLors Lo [oln ln, and Lhey gave me rosLers of
boLched execuLlons, ulsneyland deaLhs, sex spam, modern maglclans, and more.
So [ump rlghL ln anywhere-no need Lo worry abouL wheLher you can devoLe a long sLreLch Lo
your readlng. 1he dlsparaLe lnfo has been condensed lnLo a super-concenLraLed form. Slmply
apply Lo your braln.
A8Cu1 1PL Au1PC8
8esldes Lhe books below, 8uss has wrlLLen arLlcles and a column for Lhe vlllage volce. 1he
Memory Pole [www.Lhememoryhole.org], a webslLe devoLed Lo resculng knowledge and
freelng lnformaLlon, ls hls labor of love. 8uss made Lhe fronL page of Lhe new ?ork 1lmes when
he dlglLally uncensored a heavlly redacLed !usLlce ueparLmenL reporL.
9 8CCkS 8? 8uSS 1. CuLposLs: A CaLalogue of 8are and ulsLurblng AlLernaLlve
lnformaLlon (auLhor)2. ÞsychoLropedla: ÞubllcaLlons from Lhe Þerlphery (auLhor)3.
PoL Cff Lhe neL: LroLlca and CLher Sex WrlLlngs lrom Lhe lnLerneL (edlLor)4. ?ou
Are 8elng Lled 1o: 1he ulslnformaLlon Culde Lo Medla ulsLorLlon, PlsLorlcal
WhlLewashes and CulLural MyLhs (edlLor)3. LveryLhlng ?ou know ls Wrong: 1he
ulslnformaLlon Culde Lo SecreLs and Lles (edlLor)6. Abuse ?our llluslons: 1he
ulslnformaLlon Culde Lo Medla Mlrages and LsLabllshmenL Lles (edlLor)7. 30
1hlngs ?ou're noL Supposed Lo know (auLhor)8. 1he ulslnformaLlon 8ook of LlsLs
(auLhor)9. 30 1hlngs ?ou're noL Supposed Lo know, volume 2 (auLhor) [forLhcomlng]
Þersonal Lhanks Lo
2-3 Mom and uad
6 8llly uale
7-8 8reLL and CrlsLy
10-11 1erry and 8ebekah
8esearch Lhanks Lo
1 Mlchael 8avnlLzky
2 8lchard MeLzger
3 MaLL Sllvey
4 8eau Cunderson
3 kevln Saylor
6 Pllary Clalre Carmody
8 ºwalrus and carpenLer"
Þubllshlng Lhanks Lo
1 Cary 8addeley
2 8lchard MeLzger
3 8alph 8ernardo
4 Alex 8urns
3 1he resL of Lhe ulslnfo gang
6-8 Þaul, 1omo, and Mary
1rade Lhanks Lo
1 ConsorLlum ulsLrlbuLlon
2+ All booksellers
ulLlmaLe Lhanks Lo
1+ My readers
LlS1 1 39 lamous Þeople Who used
Maybe Lhe LlLle of Lhls llsL should be º39 lamous buL unexpecLed Þeople Who 1ook urugs,"
because Lhe ldea ls noL Lo documenL every well-known person who smoked poL or popped a
plll. lnsLead, Lhe llsL concerns famous flgures whose usage mlghL be somewhaL surprlslng Lo Lhe
average person (of course, no readers of Lhls book are merely average, buL you know whaL l
mean!). We won'L look aL people who were expecLed Lo do drugs, whlch means you won'L read
abouL anybody from Lhe 8eaL movemenL or Lhe CounLerculLure, nor any rock or [azz muslclans.
lnsLead, we'll focus on sclenLlsLs, old-school llLerary glanLs, nobel laureaLes, legendary acLors,
physlclans (and a nurse), eLc. 1hese are Lhe people you probably read abouL ln school or
college, buL you dldn'L hear abouL Lhelr fondness for oplum, LSu, hash, laughlng gas, and oLher
MaLhemaLlclan 8alph Abraham -Lhe prlmary developer of chaos Lheory-sald ln a 1991
ln Lhe 1960s a loL of people on Lhe fronLlers of maLh experlmenLed wlLh psychedellc
subsLances. 1here was a brlef and exLremely creaLlve klss beLween Lhe communlLy of hlpples
and Lop maLhemaLlclans. l know Lhls because l was a purveyor of psychedellcs Lo Lhe
maLhemaLlcal communlLy .1o be creaLlve ln maLhemaLlcs you have Lo sLarL from a polnL of
LoLal obllvlon. 8aslcally, maLh ls revealed ln a LoLally unconsclous process ln whlch one ls
compleLely lgnoranL of Lhe soclal cllmaLe. And maLhemaLlcal advance has always been Lhe
moLor behlnd Lhe advancemenL of consclousness .
Soclal reformer, founder of Pull Pouse, and nobel laureaLe !ane Addams wroLe LhaL she and
some frlends Look oplum once whlle ln semlnary-college. ºWe solemnly consumed small whlLe
powders aL lnLervals durlng Lhe enLlre long hollday, buL no menLal reorlenLaLlon Look place, and
Lhe suspense and exclLemenL dld noL even permlL us Lo grow sleepy."
LlLLle woman Loulsa May AlcoLL was addlcLed Lo morphlne.
Marcus Aurellus , 8oman Lmperor and phllosopher, Look oplum.
Ponore de 8alzac , one of lrance's llLerary glanLs, smoked hash aL leasL once.
vlcLorlan poeL LllzabeLh 8arreLL 8rownlng suffered from numerous physlcal maladles and
was no sLranger Lo Lhe use of oplaLes. When she and 8oberL 8rownlng became lnvolved, she
was heavlly addlcLed Lo laudanum (a LlncLure of oplum ln alcohol), morphlne, and her own
speclal brew, a mlxLure of morphlne and eLher. WlLh hls help, she was able Lo gradually reduce
her lnLake, buL because of an abscess on her lung, her docLor lncreased her dosage of
morphlne, whlch ls probably whaL kllled her. 1hus, much of LllzabeLh's verse-lncludlng all of
her lmmorLal love poems Lo 8oberL-were wrlLLen whlle oplum coursed Lhrough her velns.
Samuel 1aylor Colerldge , Lhe 8omanLlc poeL, gave us whaL ls probably Lhe mosL well-
known plece of llLeraLure wrlLLen whlle Lrlpplng. AfLer Laklng Lwo gralns of oplum and falllng
lnLo a hazy sLaLe of mlnd ln 1797, Colerldge saw vlvld lmages wlLh a correspondlng poem of 200
Lo 300 llnes. Comlng ouL of hls reverle, he wroLe-or perhaps Lranscrlbed-34 llnes LhaL
became Lhe classlc poem ºkubla khan." AL LhaL momenL, Lhough, ºa vlslLor on buslness" from a
nearby Lown knocked on Lhe poeL's door. unforLunaLely for llLeraLure, Colerldge answered hls
vlslLor. 8y Lhe Llme Lhe salesman lefL over an hour laLer, Lhe lmages and poem had fled
Colerldge, excepL for a few scaLLered llnes. Pe Lrled many Llmes Lo reLrleve Lhe losL porLlon of
Lhe poem buL never could. (lL should be noLed LhaL some experLs Lhlnk Lhls accounL ls bogus,
saylng LhaL ºkubla khan" was wrlLLen llke any oLher poem, Lhough perhaps based on lmages
Colerldge saw whlle Lrlpplng.)
Around Lhls Llme (Lhe flnal years of Lhe 1700s), Lhe poeL descrlbed laudanum as Laklng hlm Lo ºa
spoL of enchanLmenL, a green spoL of founLalns, & flowers & Lrees, ln Lhe very hearL of a wasLe
of Sands!" 1he llquld oplum would leL hlm ºfloaL abouL along an lnflnlLe ocean cradled ln Lhe
flower of Lhe LoLos."
8uL Colerldge soon changed hls Lune when he became addlcLed Lo Lhe mllk of paradlse, Laklng
huge doses of laudanum every day by 1801. ln leLLers wrlLLen ln May 1814, he speaks of ºLhls
wlcked dlreful pracLlce of Laklng Cplum or Laudanum" and refers Lo Lhe LlncLure as a ºfree-
agency-annlhllaLlng Þolson." AL Lhls Llme, he Lrled golng cold Lurkey, buL he wenL Lhrough sheer
hell and was puL on a sulclde waLch (all sharp ob[ecLs were removed and someone sLayed wlLh
hlm 24 hours a day). Pe never compleLely klcked Lhe hablL and used small doses for Lhe resL of
Cplum may have been Colerldge's masLer, buL hls play pals lncluded eLher, hash, henbane, and
Þhlllp k. ulck was a pulp scl-fl wrlLer whose dysLoplan sLorles of governmenL-corporaLe-
medla conLrol, sLrange drugs, and Lhe sub[ecLlve naLures of reallLy and ldenLlLy have achleved
culL, even classlc, sLaLus. nlne of hls works have been made lnLo movles, mosL noLably,
ºMlnorlLy 8eporL," uo Androlds uream of LlecLrlc Sheep? (fllmed as 8lade 8unner), and ºWe
Can 8emember lL for ?ou Wholesale" (Lurned lnLo Lhe fllm 1oLal 8ecall).
1hroughouL mosL of hls wrlLlng years, ulck was fuelled by ampheLamlnes, whlch allowed hlm Lo
crank ouL 60 pages a day. Pls need for speed undoubLedly conLrlbuLed Lo hls paranola, vlslons,
and breaks wlLh reallLy.
ulck also dropped acld, alLhough he sald lL dldn'L conLrlbuLe Lo Lhe halluclnaLory quallLy of hls
work, especlally slnce much of lL was wrlLLen before he Look LSu. When asked lf one of hls
sLorles was wrlLLen whlle he was hlgh, he replled: º1haL really ls noL Lrue. llrsL of all, you can'L
wrlLe anyLhlng when you're on acld. l dld one page once whlle on an acld Lrlp, buL lL was ln
LaLln. Whole damn Lhlng was ln LaLln and a llLLle Llny blL ln SanskrlL, and Lhere's noL much
markeL for LhaL." Summlng up hls experlences ln 1974, he sald: ºAll l ever found ouL abouL acld
was LhaL l was where l wanLed Lo geL ouL of fasL. lL dldn'L seem more real Lhan anyLhlng else, lL
[usL seemed more awful."
Charles ulckens -vlcLorlan Lngland's greaLesL novellsL-drank qulLe a blL of laudanum Lo
help hlm sleep and Lo ease a palnful fooL condlLlon.
ln 1970, ÞlLLsburgh ÞlraLes plLcher uock Lllls hurled a no-hlLLer whlle under Lhe lnfluence of
LSu. Pe and hls glrlfrlend had dropped acld Lhe nlghL before. Lllls goL up around nlne or Len and
downed anoLher half a Lab. Looklng aL a newspaper, hls glrlfrlend lnformed hlm LhaL he was
supposed Lo plLch ln a llLLle whlle, whlch was news Lo hlm. AL Lhe clubhouse, Lllls Look uexamyl
and 8enzedrlne Lo counLer Lhe acld. 1he coauLhor of hls auLoblography, uonald Pall, laLer
admlLLed LhaL he and Lllls bowdlerlzed Lhls sLory. lnsLead of ºLaklng Labs," Lhe plLcher was sald
Lo have drunk screwdrlvers Lhe nlghL before.
Þhyslclan Pavelock Lllls , a ploneer of sexual sLudles ln Lhe laLe 1800s up Lo Lhe 1930s, was a
devoLee of mescal. Cf hls flrsL Lrlp, he wroLe:
l was furLher lmpressed, noL only by Lhe brllllance, dellcacy, and varleLy of Lhe colours, buL
even more by Lhelr lovely and varlous LexLures, flbrous, woven, pollshed, glowlng, dull-
velned, semlLransparenL. 1he glowlng effecLs, as of [ewels and Lhe flbrous, as of lnsecL's
wlngs, belng perhaps Lhe mosL prevalenL .
ln Cplum: A PlsLory, MarLln 8ooLh wrlLes LhaL 8en[amln lranklln ºwas almosL cerLalnly
addlcLed Lo oplum ln hls decllnlng years."
ln hls flrsL paper of several on Lhe sub[ecL, ºCn Coca"-whlch ln 1884 slmulLaneously helped
make Slgmund lreud 's name and lnLroduce Lhe general populace Lo coke-Lhe faLher of
psychoanalysls wrlLes: ºl have LesLed Lhls effecL of coca, whlch wards off hunger, sleep, and
faLlgue, and sLeels one Lo lnLellecLual efforL, some dozen Llmes upon myself." Pe elaboraLes:
A few mlnuLes afLer Laklng cocalne, one experlences a cerLaln exhllaraLlon and feellng of
llghLness. Cne feels a cerLaln furrlness on Lhe llps and palaLe, followed by a feellng of
warmLh ln Lhe same areas, lf one now drlnks cold waLer, lL feels warm on Lhe llps and cold
ln Lhe LhroaL. Cne oLher occaslons Lhe predomlnanL feellng ls a raLher pleasanL coolness ln
Lhe mouLh and LhroaL .uurlng Lhls flrsL Lrlal l experlenced a shorL perlod of Loxlc effecLs,
whlch dld noL recur ln subsequenL experlmenLs. 8reaLhlng became slower and deeper and l
felL Llred and sleepy, l yawned frequenLly and felL somewhaL dull. AfLer a few mlnuLes Lhe
acLual cocalne euphorla began, lnLroduced by repeaLed coollng erucLaLlon. lmmedlaLely
afLer Laklng Lhe cocalne l noLlced a sllghL slackenlng of Lhe pulse and laLer a moderaLe
lrom our currenL perspecLlve, lL's wlnce-lnduclng Lo read Lhls soon-Lo-be-emlnenL physlclan
maklng guesses LhaL are 100 percenL wrong: ºlL seems probable, ln Lhe llghL of reporLs whlch l
shall refer Lo laLer, LhaL coca, lf used proLracLedly buL ln moderaLlon, ls noL deLrlmenLal Lo Lhe
body." And Lhls clunker: ºl have Lhe lmpresslon LhaL proLracLed use of coca can lead Lo a lasLlng
lmprovemenL [ln Lhe user's menLal powers]."
Cocalne's addlcLlve properLles soon became apparenL Lo Lhe world aL large, buL lreud was
gung-ho for blow for several years. llnally he qulL laudlng lL and uslng lL.
klng Ceorge lv belleved LhaL laudanum was a cure for hls hangovers.
Llke Carl Sagan and SLephen Pawklng, SLephen !ay Could became famous as a superb
popularlzer of sclence, ln Lhls case evoluLlonary blology, wlLh hls books 1he Mlsmeasure of Man
and 1he Þanda's 1humb, among oLhers. Could developed a cancer known as abdomlnal
mesoLhelloma, and hls chemoLherapy gave hlm horrendous nausea LhaL couldn'L be Lamed by
any medlcaLlons. As a lasL resorL, he Lrled poL:
Marlhuana worked llke a charm. l dlsllked Lhe ºslde effecL" of menLal blurrlng (Lhe ºmaln
effecL" for recreaLlonal users), buL Lhe sheer bllss of noL experlenclng nausea-and Lhen noL
havlng Lo fear lL for all Lhe days lnLervenlng beLween LreaLmenLs-was Lhe greaLesL boosL l
recelved ln all my years of LreaLmenL, and surely had a mosL lmporLanL effecL upon my
evenLual cure. lL ls beyond my comprehenslon-and l fancy l am able Lo comprehend a loL,
lncludlng much nonsense-LhaL any humane person would wlLhhold such a beneflclal
subsLance from people ln such greaL need slmply because oLhers use lL for dlfferenL
Cne of Lhe greaLesL ldols of Lhe sllver screen, Cary CranL sLarred ln many classlc fllms,
lncludlng norLh by norLhwesL, An Affalr Lo 8emember, noLorlous, Arsenlc and Cld Lace, Cunga
uln, and Monkey 8uslness. SLarLlng ln Lhe laLe 1930s, CranL dropped LSu durlng 100 Lherapy
sesslons wlLh ploneerlng shrlnks ur. MorLlmer ParLmann and ur. Cscar !anlger. ln CC: A 1ouch
of Llegance, Lhe maLlnee ldol ls quoLed from LhaL Llme perlod:
l have been born agaln. l have [usL been Lhrough a psychlaLrlc experlence LhaL has
compleLely changed me. lL was horrendous. l had Lo face Lhlngs abouL myself whlch l never
admlLLed, whlch l dldn'L know were Lhere. now l know LhaL l hurL every woman l loved. l
was an uLLer fake, a self-oplnlonaLed boor, a know-all who knew very llLLle .Cnce you reallze
LhaL you have all Lhlngs lnslde you, love and haLe allke, and you learn Lo accepL Lhem, Lhen
you can use your love Lo exhausL your haLe. 1haL power ls lnslde you, buL lL can be
asslmllaLed lnLo your power Lo love. ?ou can relax. 1hen you can do more Lhan you ever
dreamed you could do. l found l was hldlng behlnd all klnds of defenses, hypocrlsles and
vanlLles. l had Lo geL rld of Lhem layer by layer. 1haL momenL when your consclous meeLs
your subconsclous ls a helluva wrench. ?ou feel Lhe whole Lop of your head ls llfLlng off .
Also ln CC, CranL says:
1he experlence was [usL llke belng born Lhe flrsL Llme, l lmaglned all Lhe blood and urlne,
and l emerged wlLh Lhe flush of blrLh. lL was absoluLe release. ?ou are sLlll able Lo feed
yourself, of course, drlve your car, LhaL klnd of Lhlng, buL you've losL a loL of Lhe Lenslon .lL
releases lnhlblLlon. ?ou know, we are all unconsclously holdlng our anus. ln one LSu dream l
shlL all over Lhe rug and shlL all over Lhe floor. AnoLher Llme l lmaglned myself as a glanL
penls launchlng off from LarLh llke a spaceshlp .
ln hls shorL auLoblography, CranL wroLe: º1he shock of each revelaLlon brlngs wlLh lL an angulsh
of sadness for whaL was noL known before ln Lhe wasLed years of lgnorance and, aL Lhe same
Llme, an ecsLasy of [oy aL belng freed from Lhe shackles of such lgnorance." When he was 70
years old, he Lold hls former flame Maureen uonaldson: º8uL you don'L undersLand. LSu ls a
chemlcal, noL a drug. Þeople who Lake drugs are Lrylng Lo escape from Lhelr llves. LSu ls a
halluclnogen, and people who Lake lL are Lrylng Lo look wlLhln Lhelr llves. 1haL's whaL l dld."
novellsL Craham Creene (1he CuleL Amerlcan) smoked oplum ln dens LhroughouL SouLheasL
PlppocraLes , Lhe Creek docLor consldered Lhe founder of WesLern medlclne, recommended
oplum for numerous complalnLs.
Ask any flrsL-year psychology sLudenL abouL Wllllam !ames , and you'll flnd ouL LhaL he's a
glanL ln Lhe fleld, Lhe psychologlsL who formed Lhe school of LhoughL called funcLlonallsm. Ask
any flrsL-year phllosophy sLudenL abouL Wllllam !ames, and you'll flnd ouL LhaL he's a glanL ln
Lhe fleld, Lhe phllosopher who formed Lhe school of LhoughL called ÞragmaLlsm. WhaL you're
less llkely Lo hear ls LhaL he was a user of mlnd-alLerlng drugs who penned Lhe semlnal work on
alLered sLaLes of consclousness-varleLles of 8ellglous Lxperlence. nlLrous oxlde was hls
subsLance of cholce. lrom Lhe flrsL Llme !ames lnhaled lL, hls Lhlnklng was changed and he was
seL on hls paLh. As he wroLe ln varleLles:
Cne concluslon was forced upon my mlnd aL LhaL Llme, and my lmpresslon of lLs LruLh has
ever slnce remalned unshaken. lL ls LhaL our normal waklng consclousness, raLlonal
consclousness as we call lL, ls buL one speclal Lype of consclousness, whllsL all abouL lL,
parLed from lL by Lhe fllmlesL of screens, Lhere lle poLenLlal forms of consclousness enLlrely
AbouL hls encounLers wlLh laughlng gas, he also wroLe:
Looklng back on my own experlences, Lhey all converge Lowards a klnd of lnslghL Lo whlch l
cannoL help ascrlblng some meLaphyslcal slgnlflcance. 1he keynoLe of lL ls lnvarlably a
reconclllaLlon. lL ls as lf Lhe opposlLes of Lhe world, whose conLradlcLorlness and confllcL
make all our dlfflculLles and Lroubles, were melLed lnLo unlLy.
!ames also Look peyoLe, whlch dldn'L do much for hlm, and chloral hydraLe, Lhe hypnoLlc LhaL
puLs Lhe knock-ouL ln a Mlckey llnn.
MlLch kapor -ploneerlng sofLware developer (LoLus 1-2-3), founder of LoLus uevelopmenL,
cofounder of Lhe LlecLronlc lronLler loundaLlon-Lold Lhe 8uddhlsL magazlne 1rlcycle:
l had goLLen Lo college ln Lhe 60's and sLarLed experlmenLlng wlLh marl[uana and
psychedellcs, falrly heavlly. l had some dlsLresslng experlences wlLh LSu. 8ad Lrlps. So l
sLopped dolng drugs and Lhen sLarLed geLLlng acld flashbacks. l declded Lo glve medlLaLlon a
serlous Lry Lo see lf LhaL could have some calmlng effecL. l goL hooked ln Lo 1M and
evenLually made Lhe declslon Lo go Lhrough advanced Lralnlng Lo become an lnlLlaLor, an
lamed comedlan Croucho Marx flrsL Look LSu ln 1967 or 1968 wlLh counLerculLure lcon Þaul
krassner. Soon afLer, Marx smoked poL wlLh exLras on Lhe seL of Lhe all-sLar comedy Skldoo, and
he even Lokes a llLLle on-screen. krassner relaLes Lhe followlng exchange:
l sald Lo hlm, ºMy moLher once Lold me she was concerned LhaL LSu would lead Lo
marl[uana." Croucho replled, º?our moLher was rlghL."
CplaLe hlsLorlan 8arbara Podgson says of Cuy de MaupassanL , lrance's greaLesL wrlLer of
shorL sLorles: ºMuch of Lhe lll healLh LhaL plagued hlm Lhrough hls adulL years could be blamed
on syphllls, agalnsL whlch he Lrled eLher, hashlsh, cocalne and morphlne."
Welr MlLchell -Lhe mosL lllusLrlous neurologlsL of hls day (a nlneLeenLh-cenLury Cllver
Sacks), who also wroLe popular novels and shorL sLorles and was frlends wlLh WalL WhlLman,
Cllver Wendell Polmes, Wllllam !ames, and oLher noLables-seems Lo be Lhe flrsL WesLerner Lo
Lry peyoLe and wrlLe abouL hls experlences:
SLars, dellcaLe floaLlng fllms of colour, Lhen an abrupL rush of counLless polnLs of whlLe llghL
swepL across Lhe fleld of vlew, as lf Lhe unseen mllllons of Lhe Mllky Way were Lo flow ln a
sparkllng rlver before my eyes, Zlgzag llnes of very brlghL colours.
kary Mullls won Lhe 1993 nobel Þrlze for ChemlsLry for developlng Lhe polymerase chaln
reacLlon (ÞC8) meLhod for sLudylng unA molecules. ln hls auLoblography, uanclng naked ln Lhe
Mlnd lleld, Mullls descrlbes Lhe flrsL Llme he smoked a [olnL, ln 1966 when he was aLLendlng
grad school: ºl looked aL 8lchards, my wlfe, wlLh new eyes.
She was Lhe same 8lchards, buL noL Lo me. l grabbed her ln a prlmlLlve way, rolled her onLo our
enhanced bed, and felL Lhe surglng power of bllss."
1he nexL week, Mullls dropped acld wlLh a frlend Lo gulde hlm. AL LhaL polnL, Lhe ºdouble-
domed 1000-mlcrogram Cwsley" he Look was legal.
l sLarLed laughlng. l goL up from Lhe Lable and reallzed, on Lhe way Lo Lhe couch, LhaL
everyLhlng l knew was based on a false premlse. l fell down Lhrough Lhe couch lnLo anoLher
world.. l wasn'L afrald. l wasn'L anyLhlng. l noLlced LhaL Llme dld noL exLend smooLhly-LhaL
lL was puncLuaLed by momenLs-and l fell down lnLo a crack beLween Lwo momenLs and was
gone.. l felL llke l was everywhere. l was Lhrllled. l'd been Lrapped ln my own
experlences-now l was free .
Mullls descrlbes Lhe lmmedlaLe afLer-effecLs of hls lnaugural Lrlp: ºl appreclaLed my llfe ln a way
l never had before. Cn Lhe followlng Monday l wenL Lo school. l remember slLLlng on a bench,
walLlng for a class Lo begln, Lhlnklng, '1haL was Lhe mosL lncredlble Lhlng l've ever done.'"
lL wasn'L always rosy, Lhough. 1he ouLspoken chemlsL reporLs feellng overwhelmlng feellngs of
gullL and ugllness when he dropped acld afLer leavlng hls wlfe and daughLer. uurlng a prevlous
experlmenL, he synLheslzed an LSu analogue and accldenLally Look Len Llmes Lhe proper dose,
whlch ºannlhllaLed" hls personallLy. 1he nexL mornlng he couldn'L recognlze hls wlfe or chlld. ºl
couldn'L remember who l was, whaL l dld, whaL l llked.. l had no preferences. l dldn'L recognlze
my body." 1wenLy-four hours laLer, hls memorles and personallLy sLarLed Lo reLurn, and ln
anoLher day he was fully lnLegraLed agaln.
1haL nurse among nurses, llorence nlghLlngale , used morphlne, Lhough we don'L know
Anais nln -experlmenLal/eroLlc novellsL, dlarlsL, consorL of Penry and !une Mlller-engaged
one Llme ln LSu Lherapy under lLs ploneer, psychlaLrlsL Cscar !anlger. AlLhough she en[oyed Lhe
experlence, she reallzed afLerward LhaL whaL she had experlenced was already wlLhln her.
º1herefore, l felL, Lhe chemlcal dld noL reveal an unknown world. WhaL lL dld was shuL ouL Lhe
quoLldlan world as an lnLerference and leave you alone wlLh your dreams and fanLasles and
Þaracelcus , Lhe physlclan and alchemlsL whose conLrlbuLlons Lo WesLern medlclne are
paramounL, was a proponenL of oplum. Þ8S noLes LhaL ln 1327: ºuurlng Lhe helghL of Lhe
8eformaLlon, oplum ls relnLroduced lnLo Luropean medlcal llLeraLure by Þaracelsus as
laudanum. 1hese black pllls or 'SLones of lmmorLallLy' were made of oplum Lhebalcum, clLrus
[ulce and qulnLessence of gold and prescrlbed as palnklllers."
Cf mescallne, Lhe celebraLed Mexlcan poeL CcLavlo Þaz -wlnner of Lhe 1990 nobel Þrlze for
An encounLer wlLh mescallne: an encounLer wlLh our own selves, wlLh Lhe known-unknown.
1he double LhaL wears our own face as lLs mask. 1he face LhaL ls gradually obllLeraLed and
Lransformed lnLo an lmmense mocklng grlmace. 1he devll. 1he clown. 1hls Lhlng LhaL l am
noL. 1hls Lhlng LhaL l am. A marLyrlsslble apparlLlon. And when my own face reappears,
Lhere ls nobody Lhere. l Loo have lefL myself. Space, space, pure vlbraLlon. A greaL glfL of
Lhe gods, mescallne ls a wlndow Lhrough whlch we look ouL upon endless dlsLances where
noLhlng ever meeLs our eye buL our own gaze. 1here ls no l: Lhere ls space, vlbraLlon,
perpeLual anlmaLlon .
ÞloLlnus , Lhe anclenL 8oman phllosopher who founded neoplaLonlsm, ls sald Lo have used
We know LhaL Ldgar Allen Þoe llked Lo quaff abslnLhe, someLlmes mlxed wlLh brandy, buL
wheLher or noL he used oplum has been Lhe sub[ecL of lnLense debaLe. MarLln 8ooLh, auLhor of
Cplum: A PlsLory, belleves LhaL Þoe was a user, posslbly an addlcL.
Marcel ÞrousL may have had a hard Llme rememberlng Lhlngs pasL, conslderlng hls fondness
for oplum, morphlne, hypnoLlcs, camphor clgareLLes, and posslbly heroln, noL Lo menLlon
Llvlng durlng Lhe second half of Lhe 1700s, Mary 8oblnson sLarLed ouL as a popular
Shakespearean acLress, buL her career was aborLed by scandal when she Lemporarlly became
Lhe mlsLress of Lhe Þrlnce of Wales. Powever, she found a second llfe as a poeL and novellsL.
lor her rheumaLlsm, she Look herolc doses of laudanum. Cne nlghL when she was 34, she had
an oplum dream abouL a menaclng lunaLlc. Calllng her daughLer Lo her bedslde, she dlcLaLed a
poem (º1he Manlac"), Lhe nexL day, she dldn'L remember dolng Lhls. 1hus, we have Lhe flrsL
poem known Lo have crossed over from an oplum dream. Samuel 1aylor Colerldge was frlends
wlLh 8oblnson, and skepLlcs Lhlnk he mlghL've made up Lhe creaLlon sLory of ºkubla khan" ln
lmlLaLlon of her.
Carl Sagan: ÞullLzer Þrlze-wlnnlng asLronomer and blologlsL, famous popularlzer of sclence,
creaLor and hosL of Lhe Cosmos 1v serles, auLhor of Cosmos, uragons of Lden, 8roca's 8raln,
and oLher books, avld poLsmoker. As dlscussed ln Carl Sagan: A Llfe (and subsequenLly ln my 30
1hlngs ?ou're noL Supposed Lo know), Sagan loved Lo Loke reefer. Pe sald LhaL lL enhanced hls
producLlvlLy, creaLlvlLy, and lnslghLs, among oLher Lhlngs. ln hls anonymous ode Lo Mary !ane ln
Lhe classlc Marlhuana 8econsldered, he wroLe: ºMy hlgh ls always reflecLlve, peaceable,
lnLellecLually exclLlng, and soclable, unllke mosL alcohol hlghs, and Lhere ls never a hangover..
he lllegallLy of cannabls ls ouLrageous, an lmpedlmenL Lo full uLlllzaLlon of a drug whlch helps
produce Lhe serenlLy and lnslghL, senslLlvlLy and fellowshlp so desperaLely needed ln Lhls
lncreaslngly mad and dangerous world."
Slr WalLer ScoLL , Lhe ScoLLlsh novellsL and poeL, drank masslve amounLs of laudanum Lo
combaL sLomach cramps. Pe wroLe many works under Lhe drug's lnfluence, lncludlng 8ob 8oy
and 1he 8rlde of Lammermoor.
When belng lnLervlewed by Plgh 1lmes, Lhe lnLellecLual-phllosopher-LheorlsL Susan SonLag
was asked lf she wroLe whlle sLoned on poL. She replled: ºl've Lrled, buL l flnd lL Loo relaxlng. l
use speed Lo wrlLe, whlch ls Lhe opposlLe of grass."
8oberL Louls SLevenson wroLe SLrange Case of ur. !ekyll and Mr. Pyde on a slx-day cocalne
blnge ln 1886. Many commenLaLors have noLlced Lhe uncanny slmllarlLy beLween SLevenson's
drug of cholce and Lhe poLlon LhaL Lurns nlce guy ur. !ekyll lnLo Lhe unconLrollable basLard Mr.
Þancho vllla , Lhe bandlL who became a general and leader of Lhe Mexlcan 8evoluLlon, was a
parLy anlmal. vllla and hls men were well-known for Lhelr coplous use of marl[uana, mescal,
and soLol (psychedellc cacLus whlskey).
Andrew Well, M.u. , ls one of Lhe blggesL names ln alLernaLlve medlclne. Along wlLh ueepak
Chopra, hls ls Lhe bearded face of hollsLlc healLh ln Amerlca. Comblnlng hls malnsLream medlcal
Lralnlng (from Parvard) and sclenLlflc ouLlook wlLh boLany, naLural heallng, LasLern approaches,
and consclousness sLudles has resulLed ln numerous besL-selllng books (lncludlng SponLaneous
Peallng and naLural PealLh, naLural Medlclne), repeaL appearances on Cprah and Larry klng,
and a professorshlp aL Lhe unlverslLy of Arlzona, where he founded and heads Lhe Þrogram ln
Well has always been up-fronL and unapologeLlc abouL hls professlonal and personal lnLeresL ln
psychoacLlve subsLances (among oLher meLhods of alLerlng consclousness). Several of hls early
books addressed Lhe Loplc, lncludlng Lhe classlcs lrom ChocolaLe Lo Morphlne: LveryLhlng ?ou
need Lo know AbouL Mlnd-AlLerlng urugs and 1he naLural Mlnd: A new Way of Looklng aL
urugs and Lhe Plgher Consclousness. ln Lhe course of hls wrlLlngs, he has dlscussed hls usage of
marl[uana, yage, MuA (a close cousln of ecsLasy), !lmsonweed, coca leaf, cocalne, LSu, maglc
mushrooms, Load venom, and oLhers LhaL l've probably overlooked.
ln March 2001, he brlefly made headllnes when he Lold 60 MlnuLes LhaL LSu had cured hls
llfelong allergy Lo caLs. lf only acld were legal, he sald, ºl Lhlnk l would recommend LhaL some
paLlenLs do lL." noL LhaL he recommends all Lhe drugs he's Lrled. Pls experlence wlLh
!lmsonweed, for one, was horrlble, and he advlses agalnsL Laklng any planLs of Lhe uaLura
varleLy. ºlLs physlcal LoxlclLy ls, aL besL, uncomforLable and, aL worsL, very dangerous. lLs menLal
effecLs are unpredlcLable, ofLen unpleasanL, and always unconLrollable."
8esldes lmblblng abslnLhe, Cscar Wllde smoked Lobacco sLeeped ln laudanum.
When we Lhlnk of Sherlock Polmes , we lmaglne Lhe plpe ln hls mouLh, noL Lhe needle ln hls
arm. ?eL ArLhur Conan uoyle's archeLypal deLecLlve was a devoLee of blow. Cnly one work
conLalns a scene of Polmes' cocalne use, whlle elghL oLhers refer ln passlng Lo hls hablL.
(Meanwhlle, hls fondness for morphlne ls only alluded Lo.) 1he second novel feaLurlng Lhe
super-sleuLh llLerally opens and closes wlLh coke. 1hese are Lhe very flrsL paragraphs of Slgn of
Sherlock Polmes Look hls boLLle from Lhe corner of Lhe manLelplece, and hls hypodermlc
syrlnge from lLs neaL morocco case. WlLh hls long, whlLe, nervous flngers he ad[usLed Lhe
dellcaLe needle and rolled back hls lefL shlrLcuff. lor some llLLle Llme hls eyes resLed
LhoughLfully upon Lhe slnewy forearm and wrlsL, all doLLed and scarred wlLh lnnumerable
puncLure-marks. llnally, he LhrusL Lhe sharp polnL home, pressed down Lhe Llny plsLon, and
sank back lnLo Lhe velveL-llned armchalr wlLh a long slgh of saLlsfacLlon.
ur. !ohn WaLson, who ls narraLlng Lhe sLory, Lells us LhaL Polmes has been shooLlng up Lhree
Llmes a day ºfor many monLhs." Pe asks Polmes: ºWhlch ls lL Lo-day, morphlne or cocalne?"
1he deLecLlve replles LhaL lL's Lhe laLLer. AL Lhe Llme Lhe book was wrlLLen, Lhe addlcLlve,
desLrucLlve aspecLs of Lhe drug weren'L wldely known, so uoyle was golng very much agalnsL
Lhe currenL when he had WaLson glve hls frlend a Longue-lashlng over hls [ones. Polmes replles
LhaL he only malnllnes coke when Lhere ls noLhlng else, such as a case, Lo keep hlm busy. ºl
suppose LhaL lLs lnfluence ls physlcally a bad one. l flnd lL, however, so LranscendenLly
sLlmulaLlng and clarlfylng Lo Lhe mlnd LhaL lLs secondary acLlon ls a maLLer of small momenL."
1he novel closes wlLh Lhese paragraphs:
º1he dlvlslon seems raLher unfalr," l remarked. º?ou have done all Lhe work ln Lhls buslness.
l geL a wlfe ouL of lL, !ones geLs Lhe credlL, pray whaL remalns for you?" ºlor me," sald
Sherlock Polmes, ºLhere sLlll remalns Lhe cocalne-boLLle." And he sLreLched hls long whlLe
hand up for lL .
AfLer uoyle kllled off Polmes ln 1893 and broughL hlm back elghL years laLer for an addlLlonal
Lwo novels and 30-plus shorL sLorles, Lhe deLecLlve ls never agaln menLloned as uslng drugs.
urug CuoLe # 1ºAmong Lhe hundreds of cocalne users l have known, l have only seen Lhe
drug lnduce good moods."
-Andrew Well, M.u.
LlS1 2 42 lamous urlnkers of vln
vln Marlanl was made by sLeeplng coca leaves ln 8ordeaux wlne, resulLlng ln 130 Lo 300 mg of
cocalne per llLer. uue Lo creaLor Angelo Marlanl's groundbreaklng publlclLy efforLs-whlch
lncluded LesLlmonlals from popes, royalLy, presldenLs, docLors, arLlsLs, aLhleLes, and hundreds
of oLher noLables-he sold huge amounLs of Lhe sLuff ln lrance and Amerlca from Lhe laLe
1860s Lo aL leasL 1913. Among Lhose who publlcly LoasLed Lhe cocalne-wlne:
1. AlberL l, Þrlnce of Monaco
2. klng Alphonse xlll of Spaln
3. lrederlc-AugusLe 8arLholdl
1he creaLor of Lhe SLaLue of LlberLy enLhused: ºvln Marlanl seems Lo brlghLen and lncrease all
our faculLles, lL ls very probable LhaL had l Laken lL LwenLy years ago, Lhe SLaLue of LlberLy would
have aLLalned Lhe helghL of several hundred meLers."
4. Sarah 8ernhardL
3. Louls 8lerloL
8lerloL was Lhe flrsL person Lo fly over an ocean ln a plane, and he dld lL wlLh a flask of vln
6. º8uffalo 8lll" Cody
7. 1homas Ldlson
8. AnaLole lrance
9. klng Ceorge l of Creece
10. ulysses S. CranL
11. Zadoc kahn
1he Crand 8abbl of lrance wroLe: ºMy converslon ls compleLe. Þralse be Lo Marlanl's wlne!"
12. Cardlnal Lavlgerle
º?our coca from Amerlca gave my Luropean prlesLs Lhe sLrengLh Lo clvlllse Asla and Afrlca."
13. Þope Leo lll
14-13. AugusLe and Louls Lumlere
16. Þope Þlus x
17. AugusLe 8odln
18. !ules verne
19. Cueen vlcLorla
20. 1he Shah of Þersla
21. P.C. Wells
22. Lmlle Zola
23-36. lourLeen klngs and queens
37-42. Slx ÞresldenLs of lrance
Marlanl senL a case of hls coca wlne Lo ÞresldenL Wllllam Mcklnley , whose secreLary
wroLe a Lhank-you noLe saylng LhaL Lhe wlne would be used. lL's noL known wheLher Mcklnley
and guesLs ever drank lL.
urug CuoLe # 2ºCreaLlve people probably do run a greaLer rlsk of alcohollsm and addlcLlon
Lhan Lhose ln some oLher [obs, buL so whaL? We all look preLLy much Lhe same when we're
puklng ln Lhe guLLer."
LlS1 3 20 lamous urlnkers of AbslnLhe
AbslnLhe ls a greenlsh alcohollc brew conLalnlng Lhe herbs anlse, whlch glves lL a llcorlce-llke
flavor, and wormwood, whlch glves Lhe drlnker a buzz unllke any oLher llquor or drug. 1he
decadenL drlnk became exLremely prevalenL ln lrance ln Lhe 1840s. lLs popularlLy only cllmbed
as decades wenL by and Lhe Creen lalry-as abslnLhe was known-spread abroad. Around
1913, lL was banned ln mosL counLrles, Lhe Lemperance movemenL havlng convlnced people
LhaL lL was even more dangerous Lhan regular booze.
AbslnLhe 8obeLLe (1896) by ÞrlvaL LlvemonL
ln recenL Llmes, abslnLhe has Laken on a romanLlc, ouLlaw lmage for several reasons. llrsL, lL's
rumored Lo drlve drlnkers lnsane. 1hls ls mosLly myLh, alLhough lf you drank lL by Lhe Lruckload,
as wlLh mosL alcohol, you'd probably end up a wreck. And eaLlng handfuls of wormwood lsn'L
advlsable, so lngesLlng glganLlc doses vla abslnLhe lsn'L Loo smarL, elLher. 1he second allurlng
facLor ls LhaL Lhe Creen lalry was Lhe drlnk of cholce for Lhe lmpresslonlsLs, uecadenLs,
SymbollsLs, and oLher renegade arLlsLs, wrlLers, and poeLs, parLlcularly Lhose of fln-de-slecle
lrance. llnally, Lhe facL LhaL lL really ls lllegal ln Lhe uS and almosL all of Lurope makes lL all Lhe
1. Charles 8audelalre
2. AlelsLer Crowley
3. Ldgar uegas
4. Pavelock Lllls
3. Þaul Cauguln
6. LrnesL Pemlngway
Pemlngway mlxed abslnLhe wlLh champagne for a concocLlon he called ºdeaLh ln Lhe
7. Alfred !arry
(Lhe playwrlghL who creaLed Lhe AbsurdlsL movemenL)
8. !ack London
9. Ldouard ManeL
10. Lugene C'nelll
11. Þablo Þlcasso
12. Ldgar Allen Þoe
Þoe someLlmes drank hls abslnLhe mlxed wlLh brandy, whlch musL've sLralned Lhe llver of even
a dedlcaLed alcohollc.
13. Þlerre AugusLe-8enolr
14. ArLhur 8lmbaud
13. Penrl de 1oulouse-LauLrec
16. Mark 1waln
17. vlncenL van Cogh
18. Þaul verlalne
19. WalL WhlLman
20. Cscar Wllde
Wllde penned Lhe followlng llnes on Lhe successlve sLages of abslnLhe lnebrlaLlon, whlch are
quoLed by everyone who wrlLes abouL Lhe Creen lalry: º1he flrsL sLage ls llke ordlnary drlnklng,
Lhe second when you begln Lo see monsLrous and cruel Lhlngs, buL lf you can persevere, you
wlll enLer ln upon Lhe Lhlrd sLage where you see Lhlngs LhaL you wanL Lo see, wonderful, curlous
AbslnLhe ls maklng a comeback of sorLs. AL leasL a dozen legal brands are avallable ln 8rlLaln
and Spaln. !ohnny uepp and Marllyn Manson are admlLLed conLemporary devoLees.
PunLer S. 1hompson and Lmlnem are repuLed Lo have drunk lL aL leasL once. AlLhough noL
known for sure, lL's llkely LhaL 1renL 8eznor lmblbes, as well. Pe's close Lo Manson, and Lhe
vldeo for nlne lnch nalls' º1he ÞerfecL urug" promlnenLly feaLures Lhe green llquor. And whaL
Lo make of Lhe phoLograph showlng Lhen-llrsL Lady Plllary CllnLon ln Þrague, wlLh a glass of
abslnLhe ln fronL of her? Was she drlnklng lL, or dld lL [usL happen Lo be Lhere?
urug CuoLe # 3ºCod ls un[usL because he made man lncapable of susLalnlng Lhe effecL of
coca all llfe long."-Þaolo ManLegazza, nlneLeenLh-cenLury lLallan neurologlsL
LlS1 4 A uozen uS ÞollLlclans Who Pave
1. Mlchael 8loomberg , Mayor of new ?ork ClLy
2. 8lll CllnLon , former ÞresldenL of Lhe uS
3. Poward uean , former Covernor of vermonL
4. !ohn Ldwards , SenaLor from norLh Carollna
3. newL Clngrlch , former Speaker of Lhe Pouse of 8epresenLaLlves
6. Al Core , former vlce ÞresldenL of Lhe uS
7. Cary !ohnson , former Covernor of new Mexlco
8. !ohn kerry , SenaLor from MassachuseLLs
9. Ceorge ÞaLakl , Covernor of new ?ork
10. Arnold Schwarzenegger , Covernor of Callfornla
11. Clarence 1homas , Supreme CourL !usLlce
12. !esse venLura , former Covernor of MlnnesoLa
urug CuoLe # 4ºÞoL ls marvelous for geLLlng new connecLlons ln Lhe braln. lL's dlvlne for LhaL.
?ou can Lhlnk assoclaLlvely on poL, so you can really have exLraordlnary LhoughLs."
LlS1 3 31 ÞroducLs ConLalnlng Pard
lrom 1886 Lo 1902, Coke conLalned coke. !ohn ÞemberLon, Lhe ALlanLa pharmaclsL who creaLed
lL, flrsL made a dlfferenL drlnk. lrench Coca Wlne was a knock-off of lrance's lnsanely successful
vln Marlanl LhaL added anoLher plck-me-up-Lhe kola nuL. ÞemberLon's alcohollc cocalne-
caffelne brew was selllng well (no surprlse Lhere), buL Lhe Lemperance movemenL pressured
ALlanLa lnLo bannlng booze sLarLlng !uly 1886. Scrambllng madly, ÞemberLon came up wlLh a
drlnk LhaL kepL Lhe coca and Lhe kola, losL Lhe wlne, and added sugar, clLrlc acld, and
carbonaLlon. Coca-Cola was born. 1he company's offlclal hlsLory denles LhaL Coke ever
conLalned cocalne, buL Lhe drlnk's drug-lnduced beglnnlngs are [usL Loo well documenLed. lor
lnsLance, an 1896 ad for Coke beglns:lL seems Lo be a law of naLure LhaL Lhe more valuable
and efflcaclous a drug ls, Lhe nasLler and more unpleasanL lLs LasLe. lL ls Lherefore qulLe a
Lrlumph over naLure LhaL Lhe Coca-Cola Co. of ALlanLa, Ca., have achleved ln Lhelr success ln
robblng boLh coca leaves and Lhe kola nuL of Lhe exceedlngly nauseous and dlsagreeable
LasLe whlle reLalnlng Lhelr wonderful medlclnal properLles, and Lhe power of resLorlng
vlLallLy and ralslng Lhe splrlLs of Lhe weary and deblllLaLed. 8y Lhe early 1900s, Lhough, a
backlash agalnsL cocalne was sLormlng socleLy, so Lhe company sLarLed phaslng lL ouL ln 1901,
and by 1903 Lhe drlnk was blow-free.
2. ALklnson's lnfanLs' ÞreservaLlves
3. 8aLLley's urops (a brand of laudanum)
4. 8aLLley's SedaLlve SoluLlon (morphlne)
3. 8ullard & Shedd's Wlne of Coca
6. Cafe-Coca Compound
7. Cassebeer's Coca Callsaya
(cocalne, 42 percenL alcohol)
uurlng Lhe heyday of producLs conLalnlng cocalne, a docLor ln Þhlladelphla markeLed a gum
called Coca-8ola. Lach ounce conLalned a whopplng 710 mllllgrams of nose candy, meanlng
LhaL each sLlck was lnfused wlLh Lhe equlvalenL of several llnes of snorLed coke.
9. Cocalne 1ooLh urops
10. uope Cola
11. uover's Þowder (morphlne)
12. ur. uon's kola
13. ur. lahrney's 1eeLhlng Syrup
14. ur. !ames' SooLhlng Syrup (heroln)
13. ur. MoffeLL's 1eeLhlng Þowder (oplum)
16. ur. 1ucker's AsLhma Speclflc
(420 mg/cocalne per ounce)
17. lraser's AnLlasLhmaLlc 1ableLs (heroln)
19. Codfrey's Cordlal
(sweeLened laudanum for bables)
20. koca nola
22. kos kola
23. MalLlne wlLh Coca Wlne
24. MeLcalf's Coca Wlne
23. Mrs. Wlnslow's SooLhlng Syrup
27. SLreeL's lnfanLs' CuleLness
28. vapor-CL 1reaLmenL no. 6 (oplum)
30. vln Marlanl
(see Lhe second llsL ln Lhls chapLer)
9 uS Companles Allowed Lo
ManufacLure lllegal urugs
A small number of companles ln Lhe uS are permlLLed by Lhe urug LnforcemenL AdmlnlsLraLlon
Lo manufacLurer or grow lllegal subsLances. Why? Some drugs, such as poL and coke, are
prescrlbed Lo an exLremely llmlLed number of people. ln oLher cases, Lhe drugs are used as
chemlcal references, so labs LhaL LesL selzed lllegal drugs have a sLandard for comparlson. Some
of Lhe legally-creaLed drugs are used ln Lhe manufacLure of home narc klLs, whlch parenLs use
Lo flnd ouL lf Lhelr klds are druggles. SLlll oLhers are an lnLermedlaLe sLep ln Lhe creaLlon of
lndusLrlal chemlcals. l would lmaglne LhaL employee pllferlng ls more of a problem aL Lhese
companles Lhan mosL.
Cne of Lhe Lwo mosL well-versed chemlcal companles, AccusLandard, lnc. (ConnecLlcuL) ls
allowed Lo creaLe pracLlcally every drug on Schedule l and nlne on Schedule ll. lL ls Lhe only
Amerlcan company allowed Lo produce oplum.
Aldrlch Chemlcal Company, lnc. (Chlo) ls permlLLed Lo brew LSu, ecsLasy, CP8, mescallne,
psllocybln, oxycodone, and meLh. Call Lhem for your nexL rave!?
CerllllanL CorporaLlon (1exas) has permlsslon Lo cook up almosL any Schedule l or ll drug. lL
and AccusLandard are Lhe only Lwo companles LhaL can legally make bufoLenlne (a psychoacLlve
subsLance occurrlng naLurally ln some Amazonlan planLs and Lhe venom of 8ufo Loads).
1he new Age-soundlng LlfepolnL, lnc. (Callfornla) produces speed.
Crganlx, lnc. (MassachuseLLs) ls one of fourLeen corporaLlons (flve ln MassachuseLLs alone)
allowed Lo make cocalne. Þerhaps LhaL sLaLe's slogan could be changed Lo, º1he coke caplLol of
1he Þolarold CorporaLlon (MassachuseLLs), of camera fame, ls allowed Lo produce 2,3-
dlmeLhoxyampheLamlne, a psychedellc ampheLamlne ln Lhe same class as ecsLasy and uCM.
Accordlng Lo Lhe uLA, Lhls phenyLhylamlne ls Lhen converLed lnLo a ºnon-conLrolled subsLance."
1he uS dlvlslon of 8oche ulagnosLlcs CorporaLlon , lLself a dlvlslon of Lhe Swlss
pharmaceuLlcal glanL, can creaLe morphlne, LSu, and several oLher drugs for use ln lLs home
drug-LesL klLs. (Are Lhere really Leenagers ouL Lhere uslng morphlne?)
Slgma Aldrlch 8esearch (MassachuseLLs) produces heroln, much llke 8ayer dld when lL
lnLroduced smack Lo Lhe world ln 1898. lL also offers LSu, coke, meLh, and lce (a/k/a u4Luh).
1he unlverslLy of Mlsslsslppl , Lhrough lLs naLlonal CenLer for uevelopmenL of naLural
ÞroducLs, ls one of only Lhree uS enLlLles allowed Lo grow poL.
urug CuoLe # 3ºCoffee ls a sLrong psychoacLlve drug, lLs dlrecL pharmacologlcal effecLs are
more powerful Lhan Lhose of cannabls."
-Andrew Well, M.u.
LlS1 7 6 lllegal SubsLances 1haL Cccur
naLurally ln Cur 8odles
1he baslc reason LhaL cerLaln drugs make us feel so good ls LhaL Lhey flL lnLo recepLors ln our
nervous sysLems. 1hese recepLors aren'L Lhere by accldenL-our bodles already creaLe
chemlcals meanL Lo blnd aL Lhese polnLs. ur. Candace ÞerL-Lhe !ohns Popklns researcher who
dlscovered Lhe braln's oplaLe recepLors ln Lhe 1970s-has polnLed ouL LhaL feel-good drugs
slmply mlmlc Lhe chemlcals we already have.
Slnce currenL drug laws LargeL analogues of lllegal subsLances, Lhls means LhaL any chemlcal ln
our bodles LhaL ls molecularly slmllar Lo a scheduled drug ls ouLlawed. ln oLher words, each one
of us-lnfanLs, gray-halred grannles, Lhe ÞresldenL-has lllegal subsLances courslng Lhrough our
velns every mlnuLe of Lhe day.
1he neuroLransmlLLer anandamlde blnds Lo Lhe same recepLors as LeLrahydrocannablnol
(1PC), Lhe chemlcal LhaL glves weed lLs klck. 1he naLlonal lnsLlLuLes of PealLh has referred Lo lL
as Lhe ºbraln's marl[uana-llke compound." Some sclenLlsLs Lheorlze LhaL anandamlde can glve
people Lhe munchles, wlLh hlgh levels conLrlbuLlng Lo obeslLy.
uM1 ls a poLenL, fasL-acLlng psychedellc LhaL forms Lhe basls of many SouLh Amerlcan snuffs
and brews, and ls popular among connolsseurs of mlnd-expandlng drugs. Þrofessor of
psychlaLry Samuel L. ChrlsLlan wrlLes LhaL ºsLudles ln boLh human splnal fluld and anlmal braln
concluslvely demonsLraLed Lhe producLlon of dlmeLhylLrypLamlne (uM1) from Lhe precursor
amlno acld [LrypLophane]." 1hls means LhaL we don'L have a mere analogue of uM1 ln our
bodles, we have Lhe acLual subsLance lLself lnslde us. 1haL lncludes you, Mr. urug Czar.
1he neuroLransmlLLers known as endorphlns have effecLs slmllar Lo morphlne. 1he Columbla
Lncyclopedla explalns: ºLndorphlns lnLeracL wlLh oplaLe recepLor neurons Lo reduce Lhe
lnLenslLy of paln: among lndlvlduals affllcLed wlLh chronlc paln dlsorders, endorphlns are ofLen
found ln hlgh numbers. Many palnkllllng drugs, such as morphlne and codelne, acL llke
endorphlns and acLually acLlvaLe oplaLe recepLors." ln facL, Lhls ls how endorphlns were
dlscovered, sclenLlsLs examlnlng addlcLlon Lo oplaLes noLlced LhaL Lhe human braln has
recepLors for oplum and lLs derlvaLlves, whlch led Lhem Lo belleve LhaL our bodles musL already
make blochemlcals LhaL flL Lhese recepLors. Sure enough, ln Lhe early 1970s, Lhe endorphlns
Also known as noradrenallne, Lhe neuroLransmlLLer noreplnephrlne klcks your cenLral
nervous sysLem lnLo overdrlve, resulLlng ln hlgher levels of energy, awareness, and arousal. ln
oLher words, lL's speed. When ampheLamlnes, lncludlng meLh, are puL lnLo your body, Lhe
cenLral nervous sysLem Lhlnks Lhey're noreplnephrlne and acLs accordlngly.
SeroLonln -Lhe neuroLransmlLLer cruclal Lo so many bodlly processes, and a key facLor ln
mood-ls chemlcally slmllar Lo LSu and pheneLhylamlnes, whlch lnclude ecsLasy and mescallne.
Llkewlse, Lhe hormone melaLonln -cruclal Lo our sleep paLLerns-ls derlved from seroLonln,
maklng lL slmllar Lo LSu. uesplLe Lhe facL LhaL LSu acLs on Lhe same recepLor slLes as seroLonln
and melaLonln, however, ln[ecLlons of Lhese Lwo subsLances haven'L Lrlggered psychedellc
sLaLes ln volunLeers.
CluLemorphln (a pepLlde formed when gluLen breaks down) and casomorphln (a pepLlde
formed when mllk breaks down) are oplolds. lf you eaL gralns, parLlcularly wheaL, or mllk
producLs, you have Lhese morphlne-llke subsLances ln your body.
urug CuoLe # 6ºCne cannoL help buL ponder Lhe sLrange dlchoLomy LhaL Lhe naLlon based
on esLabllshlng lndlvldual freedom has now ouLlawed every subsLance whlch mlghL ald ln Lhe
exploraLlon of LhaL lasL and mosL lmporLanL fronLler, Lhe human mlnd. Alexander Shulgln,
world-renowned chemlsL ln Lhe fleld of psychoacLlve drugs, ls quoLed ln a recenL perlodlcal:
'Cur generaLlon ls Lhe flrsL ever Lo have made Lhe search for self-awareness a crlme.'"
LlS1 8 12 Songs AbouL urugs
Arguably Lhe mosL well-known pro-drug song, Lrlc ClapLon's ode Lo nose candy sounds
surprlslngly downbeaL and melancholy, glven lLs glowlng lyrlcs abouL Lhe ulLlmaLe upper. ºShe
don'L lle, she don'L lle, she don'L lle."
8lues and [azz muslclans performed loLs of songs abouL drugs. (Lven Llla llLzgerald sang abouL
ºWacky uusL": ºÞuLLln' a buzz ln your hearL.") LasL CoasL 8lues ploneer Luke !ordan recorded aL
leasL Lwo verslons of ºCocalne 8lues" ln 1927 and/or 1929 (accounLs vary). ln one verslon Lhe
vlrglnla bluesman slngs:
l called my Cora, hey hey
She come on snlffln' wlLh her nose all sore, uocLor swore [she's] gonna smell no more Sayln'
coke's for horses, noL women nor men 1he docLor sald lL wlll klll you, buL he dldn'L say when
l'm slmply wlld abouL my good cocalne
1he oLher verslon has Len verses wlLh Lhe same baslc sLrucLure (a rhymlng coupleL and Lhe
same Lhlrd llne):
?ou Lake Mary, l'll Lake Sue,
Aln'L no dlfference 'LwlxL Lhe Lwo.
Cocalne run all 'round my braln .
When !ohn Lennon and ?oko Cno wanLed Lo klck heroln, Lhey Look an ocean crulse, dldn'L brlng
any [unk wlLh Lhem, and locked Lhemselves ln Lhelr cabln for Lhe duraLlon. AL Lhe end of Lhe
voyage, Lhey were clean. Lennon wroLe ºCold 1urkey" abouL Lhe helllsh experlence ln 1969, buL
Lhe oLher 8eaLles dldn'L wanL Lo record lL, so he, Cno, Lrlc ClapLon, and a couple of oLher
muslclans lald lL down. 1he lyrlcs are heavy-handed and sLralghL-forward (Lhe only clever Lurn
of phrase belng ºgoose-plmple bone"), buL whaL makes Lhe song are Lennon's convlnclng
screams, groans, and panLlng-sounds LhaL musL've been comlng from Lhe cabln durlng Lhe
Marllyn Manson's songs are rlfe wlLh lmaglnaLlve drug references llke ºmy phenobarbldoll,"
ºcocalngels," and, º?ou're klsslng me llke benzocalne wlLh your sleeplng plll eyes." 8uL
surprlslngly, Manson has hardly done any songs enLlrely abouL drugs. Lven ºl uon'L Llke Lhe
urugs (8uL Lhe urugs Llke Me)" ls really abouL-llke mosL of hls ouLpuL-Lhe shallowness of
socleLy, Lhe hypocrlsy of Lhe bourgeolsle, and Lhe overall sucklness of Lhe world. 1he only one
LhaL quallfles as a full-fledged drug song ls ºComa WhlLe," whlch ls summed up by Lhe llne: ºall
Lhe drugs ln Lhls world won'L save her from herself."
Cne of 8ob Marley's many odes Lo poL, ºLasy Skanklng" baslcally recreaLes Lhe feellng of slowly
descendlng lnLo a warm, mellow buzz. !usL ln case Lhere's any confuslon abouL whaL's golng on,
Marley says: ºLxcuse me whlle l llghL my spllff."
ln Lhls song, penned by Lou 8eed, 1he velveL underground capLures some of Lhe amblvalence
of smack-Lhe way lL helps you escape, Lhe way lL kllls you-buL ln Lhe end, lL leans more
Loward Lhe poslLlves. Compare Lhe openlng llnes of Lhe second verse (ºWhen l'm rushlng on my
run / And l feel [usL llke !esus' son") wlLh Lhe openlng llnes of Lhe nexL verse (ºl have made a
very blg declslon / l'm goln' Lo Lry Lo nulllfy my llfe").
ºPlLs lrom Lhe 8ong"
Cypress Plll's breakLhrough record, 8lack Sunday, ls pracLlcally a concepL album abouL chronlc.
1he blg hlL, ºlnsane ln Lhe 8raln," conLalns Lhe llnes: ºl goL Lo geL my props / Cops come and Lry
Lo snaLch my crops." 1he mosL memorable llne ln ºl Wanna CeL Plgh" ls: º1ell 8lll CllnLon Lo go
ºPlLs lrom Lhe 8ong" geLs lnLo Lhe mlnuLlae of Lhe acL of smoklng: ºl llke a blunL or a blg faL
cone / 8uL my double-barrel bong ls geLLln' me sLoned." Þlus: ºAnd Lhen Lake LhaL flnger off of
LhaL hole / Þlug lL, unplug lL." 8-8eal even offers care and malnLenance Llps llke: ºwhen l pack a
fresh bowl l clean Lhe screen."
1renL 8eznor's unsparlng song abouL heroln addlcLlon galned a second llfe when lL was
lmprobably covered by !ohnny Cash. 1he Man ln 8lack sLrlpped down Lhe nlne lnch nalls Lune
Lo lLs bare bones, slnglng lL Loward Lhe end of hls hard-blLLen llfe. 1hough Cash apparenLly was
never a smack addlcL, he dld baLLle Lhe boLLle and speed. Pe proclalmed ºPurL" Lo be Lhe besL
anLl-drug song ever wrlLLen. 1he lyrlcs are rlfe wlLh lmages of wasLe and decay: º?ou could have
lL all / My emplre of dlrL," and, ºl wear Lhls crown of shlL / upon my llar's chalr."
Whlle ClapLon's ºCocalne" sounds so mellow LhaL lL should be abouL 'Ludes, 8uckcherry's ºLlL
up" ls fueled by coke. Loud, aggresslve, and bounclng off Lhe walls, lL's Lhe muslcal equlvalenL
of snorLlng a llne. When !osh 1odd shouLs, º?ou're aL Len buL, money, l'm on eleven," you know
he means lL. lf Lhe Medellln CarLel llcensed an offlclal song for Lhelr producL, lL would be ºLlL
ºMoLher's LlLLle Pelper"
Llke Marllyn Manson, Lhe 8olllng SLones dld very few songs compleLely abouL drugs, Lhough
Lhelr oeuvre ls llLLered wlLh drug references. 1helr masLerplece Lxlle on Maln SLreeL crackles
wlLh llnes llke, ºl need a shoL of salvaLlon, baby, once ln a whlle," and, ºuocLor prescrlbes drug
sLore supplles / Who's gonna help hlm Lo klck lL?"
1helr 1966 hlL ºMoLher's LlLLle Pelper" ls a caLchy, condescendlng number LhaL rakes women
over Lhe coals for Lhelr heavy use of Lranqulllzers ln Lhe 1930s and 1960s. 1hese housewlves
and proLo-soccer moms are so bored or sLressed ouL by Lhelr domesLlc chores LhaL Lhey wolf
down barblLuraLes Lo cope. We can lmaglne Lhe Cllmmer 1wlns wrlLlng Lhese dlsapprovlng
lyrlcs as Mlck rolls anoLher [olnL and kelLh malnllnes some P.
A huge hlL for 1hlrd Lye 8llnd ln 1997, lL mlghL Lake repeaLed llsLenlngs Lo reallze Lhls song ls
abouL meLhampheLamlne. Sure, Lhe llne ºuolng crysLal meLh wlll llfL you up unLll you break" ls
Lhe glveaway, buL beLween Lhe ofL-bleeped words and seml-lnLelllglble dellvery, you mlghL noL
hear lL. ºSeml-Charmed" conLalns some of Lhe cleveresL lyrlcs ln a drug song, lncludlng: ºAnd l
speak Lo you llke Lhe chorus Lo Lhe verse / Chop anoLher llne llke a coda wlLh a curse," and,
º1he sky lL was gold, lL was rose / l was Laklng slps of lL Lhrough my nose."
ºWho ÞuL Lhe 8enzedrlne ln Mrs. Murphy's CvalLlne?"
lf you Lhlnk rock songs abouL drugs began appearlng ln Lhe 1960s, beLLer Lhlnk agaln. 8ack ln
Lhose bllssful, bygone days LhaL 1lpper Core dreams abouL, Penry º1he PlpsLer"
Clbson-baslcally a proLo-!erry Lewls who never llved up Lo hls poLenLlal-had a hlL wlLh a
novelLy song abouL an old lady who drlnks a cup of CvalLlne every nlghL before bed. Suddenly
she's havlng Lrouble sleeplng, and lL Lurns ouL LhaL some pranksLer has been sllpplng speed lnLo
her bedLlme drlnk. 1he year of Lhls degeneraLe song? 1944.
ºLucy ln Lhe Sky WlLh ulamonds"
8rlLaln banned Lhe Lhlrd Lrack on Lhe 8eaLles' epochal SergeanL Þepper's Lonely PearLs Club
8and, !ohn Lennon's ºLucy ln Lhe Sky WlLh ulamonds." 1he raLlonale was LhaL Lhe halluclnaLory
song vlvldly descrlbes an acld Lrlp, and Lhe lnlLlals of Lhe LlLle are ºL.S.u." Lennon always denled
Lhls lnLerpreLaLlon of Lhe song, saylng LhaL Lhe lyrlcs, lncludlng Lhe LlLle, were based on a
drawlng LhaL hls Lhen-young son !ullan creaLed. ln supporL of Lhls, noLlce LhaL Lhe lmagery flLs
rlghL ln wlLh Lewls Carroll's ºAllce ln Wonderland" books, whlch also lnfluenced Lennon's
8eaLlesongs ºl Am Lhe Walrus" and ºCry 8aby Cry." 1hen agaln, some have argued LhaL Lhe Allce
books are Lhemselves descrlpLlons of drug Lrlps, so maybe we're rlghL back where we sLarLed.
ºÞuff Lhe Maglc uragon"
ln a slmllar manner, folk Lrlo ÞeLer, Þaul and Mary have always denled LhaL Lhelr slgnaLure 1963
song ls abouL marl[uana, when slgns seem Lo polnL Lo Lhls lnLerpreLaLlon: Lhe word ºpuff",
dragons are generally vlsuallzed as green (same as poL), Lhe name of Lhe boy ln Lhe song ls
!ackle Þaper, he evenLually grows up and has noLhlng more Lo do wlLh Þuff.
urug CuoLe # 7ºl don'L llke drugs. l Lhlnk cocalne ls a very bad, hablL-formlng drug. lL's abouL
Lhe mosL borlng drug ever lnvenLed. [Laughs.] l mean, lL's very bad and very deblllLaLlng. l can'L
undersLand Lhe fashlon for lL. 'Cause lL's so expenslve."
-Mlck !agger, 1980
16 Legal SubsLances 1haL Can
Cause lalse ÞoslLlves on urug 1esLs
Pemp oll -a nuLrlLlous subsLance derlved from hemp seed-ls sold ln healLh food sLores and
even some malnsLream grocery sLores. 1he !ournal of AnalyLlcal 1oxlcology spells ouL Lhe
problem: ºA dose conslsLenL wlLh Lhe manufacLurer's recommendaLlon of one Lo four
Lablespoons per day (13-60 mL) would be sufflclenL Lo cause a poslLlve flndlng for cannablnold
meLabollLes ln a workplace urlne drug-LesLlng procedure deslgned Lo deLecL marl[uana use." An
Alr lorce masLer sergeanL was courL marLlaled when drug LesLs labeled hlm a poL-smoker, buL
ln laLe 1997 a [ury acqulLLed hlm on all charges afLer hls use of hemp oll was presenLed.
newer anLlbloLlcs from Lhe -clllln famlly (e.g., amoxlclllln) can LesL as coke.
ulazepam , a Lranqulllzer, Lrlggers ÞCÞ-poslLlve resulLs.
4 3 6
Cold remedles, decongesLanLs, and dleL pllls can show up as speed due Lo Lhe presence of
ephedrlne, pseudoephedrlne, phenypropanolamlne , and slmllar subsLances.
Some cough suppressanLs can look llke oplaLes Lo drug LesLs.
Some anLldepressanLs cause false poslLlves for oplaLes wlLhln Lhree days of use.
1he common paln rellever lbuprofen , aL leasL ln Lhe pasL, would show up as 1PC (Lhe acLlve
lngredlenL ln poL) on some drug LesLs, and, ln hlgh doses, lL mlghL sLlll be causlng some false
uPLA , Laken by people wlLh AluS, shows up as anabollc sLerolds.
1esLosLerone supplemenLs also can make you look llke a 'rold user.
novocalne and lldocalne -Lwo synLheLlc anesLheLlcs based on cocalne and commonly used
ln medlcal and denLal procedures-can, noL surprlslngly, glve a false poslLlve for coke.
nyqull nlghLLlme Cold Medlclne and oLher over-Lhe-counLer formulaLlons conLalnlng
doxylamlne can show up as meLhadone for 48 hours.
8ecause pasLrles and breads wlLh poppy seeds conLaln so few of Lhem, you'd have Lo eaL a
loL before you show up poslLlve for oplaLes, and, regardless, drug LesLs can now dlfferenLlaLe
beLween baked goods and Lhe sLuff LhaL geLs you hlgh.
Second-hand poL smoke can be enough Lo Lrlgger a false poslLlve.
urug CuoLe # 8ºl love whaL speed and coke do Lo my welghL. lL's unnaLural, l know. l could
LlS1 10 12 SLrange urugs
lL's hard Lo know whaL Lo make of Lhe clalm LhaL you can geL hlgh from Lhls plasLlc exploslve. lL
appears ln only one place LhaL l've seen, a falrly level-headed book LlLled uppers, uowners, All-
Arounders, wrlLLen by Lwo people from Lhe PalghL-Ashbury lree Cllnlc. 1hey devoLe Lwo
senLences Lo Lhe Loplc:
Modern veLerans have been known Lo lngesL C4 or cyclonlLe plasLlc exploslves for Lhelr
psychedellc effecLs. 1remors and selzure acLlvlLy can resulL buL usually noL an exploslon as
lL Lakes a blasLlng cap Lo seL off Lhe chemlcal.
Seems preLLy ouLlandlsh, buL perhaps lL's Lrue. A Marlne Corps Lralnlng documenL on exploslves
conLalns Lhe followlng warnlng: ºuo noL lngesL any exploslve maLerlal."
When you lnhale Lhls mlxLure of oxygen (70 percenL) and carbon dloxlde (30 percenL), your
braln Lhlnks LhaL you're dylng of suffocaLlon, alLhough you're acLually geLLlng enough oxygen Lo
funcLlon normally. ln Lhe SevenLh uay AdvenLlsL magazlne Slgns of Lhe 1lmes (of all places), ur.
!ack Þrovonsha wrlLes: ºSub[ecLs on carbon dloxlde reporL separaLlon of Lhe self from Lhe body.
And as wlLh Lhe [psychedellc] drugs and nuLs [near deaLh experlences], Lhere were reporLs of
caves, Lunnels, lnLensely brlghL llghLs, vlslons of oLher persons, lumlnarles, rellvlng of Lhe pasL,
and 'splrlLual' experlences." Pe Lhen reprlnLs Lhe experlence of a carbogen user as flrsL relayed
ln ur. L.!. Meduna's ploneerlng work on Lhe sub[ecL, Carbon uloxlde 1herapy (1930):
l felL myself belng separaLed, my soul, drawlng aparL from Lhe physlcal belng, was
drawn.seemlngly Lo leave Lhe earLh and Lo go upward where lL reached a greaLer SplrlL wlLh
whom Lhere was a communlon, produclng a remarkable new relaxaLlon and deep securlLy.. l
felL Lhe CreaLer SplrlL even smlllng lndulgenLly upon me ln my valn llLLle efforLs Lo carry on
by myself, and l pressed close [Lo] Lhe warmLh and Lender sLrengLh and felL assurance of
enough power Lo overcome whaLever lay ahead for me.
ÞsychonauL Myron SLolaroff Look carbogen once a week for Lwo years under a docLor's
supervlslon. ºl always approached Lhe experlence wlLh enormous anxleLy," he wroLe, ºbuL goL
conslderable rellef when l exploslvely dlscharged repressed maLerlal. l would Lhen feel greaL for
a few days, buL Lhen relapse back Lo my prevlous condlLlon."
uurlng Lhe same Llme LhaL LSu was belng lnLroduced lnLo psychoLherapy, carbogen was also
used. SLolaroff says LhaL around 200 LheraplsLs employed Lhe procedure, and Lhey even formed
a shorL-llved professlonal organlzaLlon.
CaLnlp lsn'L [usL for fellnes anymore. MosL humans who've smoked lL say LhaL lL's llke a mlld,
mellow poL buzz. noLhlng Lo geL Loo exclLed abouL, buL slnce lL's cheap and legal, mosL
clomlpramlne (Lrade name: Anafranll)
1he sLrange Lhlng abouL Lhls prescrlpLlon anLldepressanL-mosL ofLen prescrlbed for obsesslve-
compulslve dlsorder-ls Lhe slde effecL lL causes ln a few people: sponLaneous orgasms whlle
yawnlng. A 1983 arLlcle ln Lhe Canadlan !ournal of ÞsychlaLry presenLs Lhe cases of Lhree people
who experlence Lhls pleasurable buL dlsconcerLlng phenomenon. A woman ln her laLe LwenLles
sald LhaL she came every Llme she yawned. ºShe found she was able Lo experlence orgasm by
dellberaLe yawnlng," Lhe auLhors noLe. A man ln hls mld-LwenLles reporLed LhaL someLlmes
when he yawned, he would e[aculaLe, even Lhough he wasn'L Lurned on aL Lhe Llme. º1he
awkwardness and embarrassmenL was overcome by conLlnuously wearlng a condom." 1he flnal
paLlenL, a woman ln her forLles, dldn'L necessarlly cream each Llme she yawned, buL she would
geL so lnLensely horny LhaL she'd ofLen have Lo masLurbaLe. ln all cases, Lhe effecLs sLopped
soon afLer Lhe paLlenLs qulL popplng clomlpramlne.
When lL was sLlll LhoughL Lo be preLLy safe for humans, Lhe now-banned pesLlclde uu1 was
used for klcks. As lnconcelvable as lL now seems, a popular cockLall of Lhe 1930s, a Mlckey Sllm,
was made by addlng a very small amounL of uu1 Lo gln. Slnce lL aLLacks Lhe nervous sysLem, a
dollop produced sensaLlons LhaL were klnda pleasurable ln a fucked-up way.
A LrypLamlne LhaL's known for malnly affecLlng audlLory sensaLlons. An experlmenL ln Lhe
classlc book 1lPkAL by Alexander and Ann Shulgln relaLes: º8adlo volces are all low, muslc ouL
of key. Þlano sounds llke a bar-room dlsasLer. 1he Lelephone rlnglng sounds parLly
underwaLer." Crally Laklng a larger amounL resulLs ln: ºAbrupL sounds have golden splkes
aLLached Lo Lhem as afLer-sounds, buL l can'L focus ln on any oLher sensory changes." AL a much
hlgher dosage: º1he volces of people were exLremely dlsLorLed-males sounded llke
frogs-chlldren sounded llke Lhey were Lalklng Lhrough synLheslzers Lo lmlLaLe ouLer space
people ln sclence flcLlon movles."
A user named 8orkhane wrlLes: ºAL Lhls level of ulÞ1 effecLs, all muslc sounded absoluLely
Lerrlble, wlLh no harmonlc sLrucLure lnLacL aL all. Muslc LhaL was normally qulLe famlllar
sounded LoLally forelgn. lL was really llke llsLenlng Lo a LoLally dlfferenL verslon of Lhe song, wlLh
Lhe only famlllar elemenLs belng Lhe lyrlcs."
polsons and venom
Several planLs known for Lhelr halluclnogenlc effecLs are qulLe Loxlc, such as Lhe uaLura famlly,
whlch lncludes !lmsonweed. And, of course, you can make Lhe argumenL LhaL any subsLance ls
Loxlc lf you lngesL enough of lL. SLlll, some naLural subsLances known prlmarlly as
polsons-arsenlc, sLrychnlne, and venom-have been used ln subleLhal doses for Lhelr mlnd-
alLerlng effecLs. lnformaLlon on Lhls ls hard Lo come by, and an ln-depLh sLudy would prove
fasclnaLlng. lor now, we have Lhese blLs and pleces:
ln 1817, when Lhe Cueen of ÞorLugal was dylng a slow, palnful deaLh, one of her slaves gave
her a mlxLure of poL and arsenlc whlch compleLely relleved her sufferlng.
ln hls classlc 1883 book ÞlanL lnLoxlcanLs, 8aron LrnsL von 8lbra dlscusses Lhe eaLlng of arsenlc
by Lhe mounLaln-dwellers of AusLrla. 1he Lwo reasons glven are LhaL Lhe polson ºfaclllLaLes
breaLhlng whlle cllmblng.lL makes Lhem well venLllaLed" and ºLo obLaln healLhy and sLurdy
looks, Lo appear sLrong and robusL."
Also ln 1883, Chambers !ournal of Þopular LlLeraLure, Sclence and ArL carrled an arLlcle
dlscusslng arsenlc use:
When a man has once begun Lo lndulge ln lL he musL conLlnue Lo lndulge, or, as lL ls
popularly expressed, Lhe lasL dose kllls hlm. lndeed Lhe arsenlc eaLer musL noL only conLlnue
hls lndulgence, he musL also lncrease Lhe quanLlLy of Lhe drug, so LhaL lL ls exLraordlnarlly
dlfflculL Lo sLop Lhe hablL, for, as Lhe sudden cessaLlon causes deaLh, Lhe gradual cessaLlon
produces such a Lerrlble hearL knowlng LhaL lL may probably be sald LhaL no genulne arsenlc
eaLer ever ceased Lo eaL arsenlc whlle llfe lasLed.
1he 1902 book Morphlnlsm and narcomanlas lrom CLher urugs dlscusses arsenlc addlcLlon.
vlcLorlan-era coLLon farmer !ames Maybrlck achleved noLorleLy ln 1992 when 1he ulary of
!ack Lhe 8lpper was publlshed. now wldely (Lhough noL unlversally) regarded as a forgery, Lhls
dlary supposedly was wrlLLen by Maybrlck, who supposedly was !ack Lhe 8lpper. WheLher or
noL Maybrlck was Lhe 8lpper, he was an acLual person who-as Lhe dlarles relaLe-was
addlcLed Lo arsenlc.
ln hls arLlcle Lheorlzlng LhaL napoleon 8onaparLe may have been an arsenlc [unkle, napoleonlc
experL 8ob Llmer wrlLes: ºArsenlc was also used by some as a mlnd-alLerlng drug, much as
marl[uana or cocalne ls used Loday. ln small doses lL gave Lhe user a feellng of well-belng,
sLrengLh, and sexual sLaylng power."
ln 1909, whlle dlscusslng drug use ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes, Lhe new ?ork 1lmes bemoaned: º.a
leglon of oLhers hablLually use belladonna, arsenlc, and sLrychnlne wlLhouL consulLlng a
1he Lncyclopedla of ÞsychoacLlve SubsLances reveals: ºPoly men ln lndla are reporLed Lo
smoke cobra venom for lLs psychoacLlve effecLs.. helr drled venom glands or crysLalllzed
venom ls ofLen mlxed wlLh cannabls when smoked."
1he Lncyclopedla furLher noLes LhaL Len naLlve Amerlcan Lrlbes ln Callfornla are known Lo
swallow llve anLs as means of lnduclng vlslons. 1he anLs blLe Lhe sLomach llnlng, ln[ecLlng Lhelr
venom, and laLer may be vomlLed up, sLlll allve.
A slngle specles of rhododendron, Lhe lavender ponLlcum, ls known Lo creaLe Lrlps when lLs
smoke ls lnhaled. 1he planL ls qulLe polsonous, Lhough, so Lhls seems Lo be a case where
lngesLlng subleLhal doses of harmful planLs-a la !lmsonweed and belladonna-geLs you hlgh
by aLLacklng Lhe hell ouL of your nervous sysLem.
1he expenslve flavorlng saffron-Lhe drled, crushed sLamen of Lhe Crocus saLlvas-ls noL ofLen
menLloned ln Lhe canon of mlnd-alLerlng drugs, buL lL was Lhe mosL ofL-used lngredlenL ln
laudanum, afLer oplum and alcohol, of course. 1he Lncyclopedla of ÞsychoacLlve SubsLances
noLes LhaL Lhe famously orange-yellow flower ºls known Lo have soporlflc and narcoLlc effecLs
slmllar Lo Lhose of oplum."
noL be found on Lhe shelves of your local llquor sLore, salamander brandy ls noncommerclally
produced ln parLs of Slovenla. AL leasL four ways-all lnvolvlng cruelLy Loward Lhe
amphlblans-are used. ln one, Lhe salamanders are placed on a sleve and brandy ls poured
over Lhem unLll Lhey drown. ln anoLher approach, Lhe poor beasLs are suspended by Lhelr back
legs as brandy drlps down Lhe sLrlng and over Lhelr bodles. ln all cases, Lhe salamanders are so
frlghLened and dlsLressed LhaL Lhey excreLe large amounLs of polsonous sllme, whlch Lhen
lnfuses Lhe brandy. A reporLer who Lrled Lhe concocLlon descrlbes hls Lrlp:
And Lhen lL.sLarLed unnaLurally, colorfully gllLLerlng around Lhe LreeLops and Lrees, whlch
were welrdly, hysLerlcally rushlng lnLo Lhe depLhs of gorges.lL was as lf l were LoLally
unburdened by Lhe blology of exLraLerresLrlal belngs from some oLher planeL and waLched
everyLhlng, Lhe grass, Lhe lnsecLs or a grazlng cow ln Lhe vlclnlLy.and absoluLely everyLhlng
seemed new and sLrange, and l wlshed Lo fuck someLhlng, anyLhlng. And ln Lhls almosL full
absence from Lhls world.l chose Lhe beech Lree. 1helr Lrunks.seemed horrlbly eroLlc Lo
me..AfLer Lhls l flnally crashed lnLo Lhe weL leaves and maybe even slepL for a whlle. 8uL
damn, a few salamanders walked near by. And Lhey sald wlLh Lhelr mysLerlous volces: look,
look, who's Lhere, noL a salamander for sure.
Slovenlan academlc Mlha kozorog conLesLs Lhe vlew LhaL Lhls beverage ls a LradlLlonal
halluclnogenlc drug. lnsLead, he belleves lL's a decelLful way of maklng brandy-Lhe punch of
Lhe salamander mucus supposedly makes up for low alcohol conLenL.
noL [usL any urlne, of course, buL Lhe wlzz of a person who has parLaken of Lhe amanlLa
muscarla mushroom (a/k/a fly agarlc). AL one Llme, Lsklmos and Lrlbes ln Slberla were known Lo
use Lhls Lrlck for a couple of reasons. llrsL, slnce Lhere wasn'L an endless supply of 'shrooms,
Lhls approach helped economlze Lhem. noL only would drlnklng Lhe pee of someone who had
eaLen Lhe mushroom geL you hlgh, drlnklng Lhe urlne of Lhe flrsL plss-slpper would also work.
And so on, down Lhrough flve people. An added beneflL was LhaL Lhe more Lhe mushrooms
were processed Lhrough dlgesLlve sysLems, Lhe less Lhey caused cramps and nausea.
Cn a relaLed noLe, new SclenLlsL reporLs LhaL relndeer also llked Lo nosh on fly agarlc, so Lhe
koryak people of Slberla would Lle up Lhe wasLed anlmals unLll Lhey sLopped Lrlpplng, buLcher
Lhem, Lhen eaL Lhem for a second-hand hlgh.
1he noble gas xenon-whlch you mlghL remember from your days of sLudylng Lhe perlodlc
Lable-can be lnhaled for a hlgh slmllar Lo nlLrous oxlde (laughlng gas). ln a Lrlp reporL on Lhe
webslLe Lyceaum, an anonymous user noLlces ºan amazlng ablllLy Lo zero ln on 'slngularlLy'
LhoughLs and memorles and hold Lhem ln suspenslon for 'senLlmenL orgasms.'" 1hls
advenLurous soul noLes LhaL, unllke laughlng gas, Lhere's no headachlness or ºwa-wa" audlLory
halluclnaLlons. ºAs wlLh nlLrous, l geL Lhe repeaLlng Lhemes of cycles as a ma[or message.
Þrobably because lL ls so connecLed wlLh breaLhlng, cycles of llfe / llfe-cycles / llfe ls cycles:
LhaL's Lhe message."
Ckay, lL's noL Lhe books Lhemselves LhaL can geL you hlgh buL Lhe fungus LhaL someLlmes grows
on Lhem. uamp, musLy llbrarles wlLh creaky, old volumes are breedlng grounds for mold,
lncludlng some Lypes LhaL can cause halluclnaLlons and oLher effecLs, such as dlzzlness and
urug CuoLe # 9ºl am a greaL bellever ln Lhe value of belng hlgh. Plgh sLaLes of consclousness
show us Lhe poLenLlals of our nervous sysLems. 1hey help us lnLegraLe mlnd and body. 1hey
promoLe healLh. And Lhey feel good."
-Andrew Well, M.u.
LlS1 11 82 8rands of Peroln
8rand loyalLy lsn'L [usL for soap and clgareLLes. Peroln dealers ofLen creaLe Lhelr own ºbrand,"
slgnlfled by a name and/or logo. lf a user llkes a parLlcular hlgh, Lhls ºmark of quallLy" keeps
Lhem comlng back for more of Lhe same klnd of skag. Some brands lasL for years, some are
around llLerally for a slngle day. 1he naLlonal urug lnLelllgence CenLer reporLed on a ºcuLLlng
mlll" found ln new ?ork: ºCn Lhe walls of Lhe aparLmenL charLs dlsplayed several brand names
of heroln along wlLh dlfferenL formulas for cuLLlng each brand."
1. amerlca on-llne
2. barL slmpson
3. blg doodlg
4. blg mac
3. bln laden
6. black angel
7. body bag
8. bone collecLor
10. cold waLer
11. colL 43
12. dead on arrlval
13. dead presldenL
13. deaLh cerLlflcaLe
16. devll's advocaLe
19. uouble uCClobe
(a/k/a uouble Clobe)
CreaLed ln Lhe reflnery of Amerlca's ºally" Ceneral Cuane 8aLLlkone of Laos, Lhls was Lhe
favorlLe brand among Amerlcan Cls durlng Lhe vleLnam War.
26. holy Lerror
29. l'll be back
30. [erry sprlnger
31. [ohn hlnkley
named afLer rock 'n' roll performance arLlsL kembra Þfahler.
33. llfe afLer deaLh
37. m & m
38. maggle 2
39. magnum 337
41. mlke Lyson
42. mlllennlum 2000
43. monlca lewlnskl
46. murder one
48. new york
31. old navy
32. one and done
39. purple haze
60. red rum
8eporLedly, Lhls was Lhe brand LhaL kllled Smashlng Þumpklns' Lourlng keyboardlsL !onaLhan
Melvlon ln !uly 1996.
62. skull and crossbones
63. son of sam
63. super A1&1
66. super bulck
68. Lommy hllflger
69. LoombsLone [slc]
71. 1res pesos
74. whlLe house
80. 9/11 world Lrade cenLer
LlS1 12 42+ 1hlngs 1haL Pave 8een
Made CuL of Pemp
When cannabls has enough 1PC Lo geL you hlgh, lL's called marl[uana. When cannabls has very
llLLle or no 1PC, lL's called hemp. Þerhaps Lhe world's mosL useful planL, hemp has been puL Lo
work by Lhe human race slnce before recorded hlsLory. Cnly relaLlvely recenLly, because lLs
slbllng makes people feel good, has Lhls answer Lo our envlronmenLal and lndusLrlal problems
up Lo Lhe 1820s, mosL uS flags were made of hemp.
1he flrsL lnsLance of prlnLed LexL on paper-one mllllon coples of 8uddhlsL prayers for peace ln
!apan, 764 A.u.-lnvolved pure hemp paper. 1he drafLs of Lhe ueclaraLlon of lndependence and
Lhe ConsLlLuLlon were wrlLLen on hemp paper. 1he CuLenberg 8lble, Lhe orlglnal klng !ames
8lble, and early edlLlons of Mark 1waln's works are among Lhe lmporLanL books prlnLed on
hemp. Pemp makes good speclalLy paper, for Lhlngs llke Lea bags, coffee fllLers, paper currency,
and archlval paper. Accordlng Lo Lhe norLh Amerlcan lndusLrlal Pemp Councll: ºklmberly-Clark
(a lorLune 300 company) has a mlll ln lrance whlch produces hemp paper preferred for blbles
and clgareLLe paper because lL lasLs a long Llme and doesn'L yellow."
3-4. palnLs and varnlsh
3-11. rope, sLrlng, Lwlne , and Lhread, parachuLe webblng, neLs, rlgglng for shlps.
1he uSS ConsLlLuLlon (a/k/a Cld lronsldes) conLalned a mlnlmum of 60 Lons of hemp.
lncludlng such SmlLhsonlan-worLhy garmenLs as Lhe unlforms of Ceorge WashlngLon's
ConLlnenLal Army and Lhe orlglnal Levl's [eans. Slnce aL leasL 300 8C, hemp has been woven lnLo
cloLh so flne lL ls all buL lndlsLlngulshable from llnen. ShlrLs, panLs, coaLs, haLs, dresses, llngerle,
dlapers, and more have been and currenLly are belng fashloned from cannabls.
13. sheeLs and qullLs
13. sacks, bags, eLc .
1he uS governmenL fllm Pemp for vlcLory remlnds us: ºlndeed Lhe very word canvas comes
from Lhe Arablc word for hemp." lL has been woven lnLo LenLs, salls, wagon covers, and more.
Pemp was Lhe canvas of cholce for many of Lhe world's greaLesL palnLers, lncludlng MoneL,
uelacrolx, lngres, 8embrandL, van Cogh, and Mlró.
18. food and drlnk
Pumans noshed on hemp seeds ln prehlsLorlc Llmes and conLlnue Lo do so. 8esldes belng eaLen
sLralghL, Lhey can be made lnLo oaLmeal, porrldge, flour, pasLrles, lce cream, candy, veggle
burgers, cookles, cereal, margarlne, cheese, soda, beer, mllk..
21. peL food
22. anlmal beddlng
1he Cueen of Lngland's horse sleeps ln a nesL of pure hemp.
24-23. soap and shampoo
26. llp balm
27. body loLlon
28. sexual lubrlcanL
31. fuel (eLhanol)
MeLhanol ls a key chemlcal ln Lhe producLlon of plasLlcs, reslns, and vlnyl.
33. cars and oLher vehlcles
ln 1941, Penry lord unvelled a llghLwelghL, denL-reslsLanL car LhaL was made excepL for Lhe
frame from plasLlc creaLed from Lhe flbers of hemp, wheaL, an slsal.
36. bulldlng maLerlals
Þure hemp pulp can be pressed lnLo boards, brlcks, beams, panellng, posLs, cablneLry, and
oLher maLerlal used Lo consLrucL bulldlngs.
39. flre hoses
Pemp can be burned llke wood Lo creaLe heaL.
41. burnlng oll
used lnsLead of kerosene ln lamps.
LlS1 13 10 of Chong's 8ongs
1ommy Chong-Lhe comedlan besL known for hls sLoner movles wlLh Cheech Marln-was Lhe
lmpresarlo of Chong Class, a small ouLflL LhaL made beauLlful smoklng paraphernalla (bongs and
varlous plpes). As parL of Lhe urug LnforcemenL AdmlnlsLraLlon's sprlng 2003 crackdown on
Web-based sellers of Loklng equlpmenL-CperaLlon Þlpe ureams and CperaLlon
PeadhunLer-Chong's home was ralded, and Lhe feds selzed all Lhe goods from hls buslness.
Around Lhree monLhs laLer, Chong pled gullLy Lo consplrlng Lo sell drug paraphernalla and was
senLenced Lo nlne monLhs ln Lhe cllnk, plus one year probaLlon. 8elow are Lhe names of Lhe
bong models LhaL were sLolen and desLroyed by Lhe feds.
1ommy Chong's SLrawberry bong
2. 8lg 8amboo
12 Ways Lo AlLer ?our
Consclousness WlLhouL urugs
urugs are one of Lhe mosL obvlous-and, ln some ways aL leasL, Lhe easlesL-ways Lo lnduce
alLered sLaLes of mlnd, buL Lhere are many paLhs you can Lake. AlLernaLlve healLh guru ur.
Andrew Well explalns: ºl belleve sLrongly LhaL psychedellcs merely Lrlgger or release cerLaln
experlences LhaL orlglnaLe ln Lhe human nervous sysLem and LhaL one can learn Lo have Lhese
experlences wlLhouL drugs. 1haL so many dlfferenL meLhods lead Lo Lhe same experlences
suggesLs LhaL Lhe experlences come from lnslde us, LhaL Lhey are laLenL ln Lhe human nervous
sysLem, walLlng Lo be released."
LlLLle klds learn Lhe hypervenLllaLlon Lrlck, where lack of oxygen causes brlef, baslcally
unconLrollable alLered sLaLes. ln a more sophlsLlcaLed approach, proper breaLhlng Lechnlque ls
cruclal Lo all forms of medlLaLlon, buL someLlmes resplraLlon ls Lhe compleLe focus of Lhe
Lechnlque. ln facL, ºbreaLh-work" ls an enLlre fleld wlLhln hollsLlc healLh and alLernaLlve heallng.
ur. Well ls apparenLly Lhe flrsL, perhaps Lhe only, person Lo suggesL LhaL belng ouLslde durlng a
solar ecllpse leads Lo alLered sLaLes. A self-descrlbed ºoverL ecllpse freak" who Lrles Lo vlew as
many as posslble, Well has felL Lhls ºhlgh" hlmself and heard Lhe feellng descrlbed slmllarly by
oLhers who waLch Lhe Moon cover Lhe Sun. Pe posLulaLes LhaL lL has someLhlng Lo do wlLh Lhe
unearLhly llghL, Lhe feellngs of unreallLy and dreamlness, and Lhe compleLe unlqueness and
ma[esLy of Lhe evenL. º1lme dld noL flow," he wrlLes. ºl have no way of comparlng Lhose Lhree
and a half mlnuLes of clock Llme Lo any oLher Lhree-and-a-half mlnuLe lnLerval l have
Cuerrllla phllosopher and reallLy hacker 8oberL AnLon Wllson belleves LhaL readlng aloud !ames
!oyce's experlmenLal novel llnnegans Wake Lrlggers alLered sLaLes.
noL only does sLroblng llghL creaLe a feellng of unreallLy, buL lL has concreLe physlcal effecLs on
Lhe braln, as evldenced by Lhe facL LhaL lL Lrlggers selzures ln people wlLh epllepsy. 1he roLaLlng
ºureamachlne"-creaLed by 8rlon Cysln and lan Sommervllle-ls a sophlsLlcaLed use of flashlng
llghL Lo send consclousness Lo new helghLs.
laughlng and crylng
noL [usL any laughlng wlll do Lhe Lrlck, buL a guL-busLlng, eye-waLerlng flL of hysLerla ls llkely Lo
lnvoke a cleansed sense of well-belng LhaL feels llke a pleasanL hlgh. Andrew Well belleves Lhls
resulLs from Lhe facL LhaL durlng laughLer, our loglcal, upLlghL cerebral corLex ls no longer ln
conLrol, havlng glven over Lo Lhe prlmlLlve bralnsLem. 1hls ls evldenced by Lhe creaLlon of Lears,
Lhe spasmlng of Lhe dlaphragm, and ºLhe loss of uprlghL posLure" LhaL occur when you laugh
your ass off. All are slgns LhaL Lhe auLonomlc nervous sysLem has Laken over. Well wrlLes, ºln a
flL of laughLer Lhere ls no ego-no censorshlp of messages flowlng back and forLh ln Lhe braln."
8esearch has shown LhaL laughLer reduces sLress hormones (such as dopamlne) and sLlmulaLes
Lhe release of endorphlns, Lhe body's own oplaLes.
As wlLh laughlng, a good crylng [ag can lead Lo a LranscendenL sense of llghLness and well-belng,
a cleansed feellng due parLlally Lo endorphlns, deeper resplraLlon, and oLher effecLs of Lhe
WheLher lL's loud, crunchlng rock and roll LhaL makes you feel llke you've Laken speed, or
eLhereal chanLlng LhaL llfLs you ouL of your body, muslc has myrlad ways of changlng your sLaLe
of belng. And LhaL's [usL from llsLenlng Lo lL. Þlaylng lL can Lake you lnLo a zone where noLhlng
exlsLs buL you and Lhe muslc. Þerformlng chanL ls ofLen clLed as parLlcularly LranscendenL,
presumably because of Lhe vlbraLlons lL sends LhroughouL your body and Lhe way lL focuses and
paln, exLreme dlscomforL, exhausLlon
When applled ln correcL ways and seLLlngs, paln leads many people Lo alLered sLaLes. 1hls ls a
recurrlng Lheme ln Lhe llLeraLure of
SM, ln whlch pracLlLloners rouLlnely descrlbe LranscendenL, ecsLaLlc experlences. Many anclenL
body-orlenLed rlLuals-such as Lhe Sun uance performed by many naLlve Amerlcan
Lrlbes-apparenLly lnvolve Lhe same mechanlsms. 1he pseudonymous laklr Musafar has
become legendary ln alLernaLlve clrcles for havlng performed almosL every Lype of body
modlflcaLlon, adornmenL, and rlLual known Lo Lhe human race, sLarLlng wlLh glvlng hlmself
LaLLoos and plerclngs when he was a preLeen. Pe says of hls experlences:
Cne of Lhe flrsL alLered sLaLes you can learn ls Lo separaLe your consclousness from your
body. ?ou don'L walk away from your body, you don'L separaLe from your body, buL Lhe parL
of you LhaL feels and Lhlnks can separaLe from Lhe feellngs ln Lhe body lLself. So LhaL makes
lL posslble for you Lo push a needle Lhrough. ?ou don'L feel Lhe paln, Lhe body feels Lhe
paln, and you observe Lhe body recordlng or feellng sensaLlon. 1hen lL's noL paln. lf you can
learn Lo separaLe your consclousness and your aLLenLlon from your body, you can do almosL
anyLhlng Lo lL and you don'L feel paln! lf all your aLLenLlon ls locked ln your body, and noL
focused ouLslde Lhe body or on a speclflc body polnL, you'll feel paln. 1haL's one of Lhe flrsL
lessons l learned. 1haL's an alLered sLaLe. And Lhere are hundreds of dlfferenL klnds of
Musafar also says:
1he negaLlvlLy of paln (sLrong, unexpecLed sensaLlon) only exlsLs for people who are
relaLlvely undeveloped. lf you have enough Lralnlng, lnsLrucLlon and pracLlce, you can
Lranscend, LransmuLe or change a sensaLlon Lo anyLhlng you wlsh.. 1haL's whaL l do when l
hang by fleshhooks. Þeople say, º1haL's lncredlbly palnful!" l say, ºno, lL's ecsLaLlc, lL's
WrlLer ÞaLrlck Callfla has been explorlng and expoundlng on SM for around Lhree decades now.
ln hls essay ºShlny Sharp 1hlngs," he wrlLes: º1here ls a whole oLher reallLy beyond our flesh.
8uL ln Lhls world, our flesh ls our only way Lo gaLher lnformaLlon and Lo experlence whaL ls
wlLhln and ouLslde of ourselves. So we have Lo use flesh Lo geL Lo LhaL oLher place. 1hese
pracLlces have become Laboo."
Cf course, you don'L need Lo do someLhlng as exLreme as hanglng by hooks Lo experlence Lhls
Lranscendence (alLhough lL does seem LhaL Lhe more exLreme Lhe rlLual, Lhe more ecsLaLlc Lhe
experlence). 1he sweaL lodge used by naLlve Amerlcan Lrlbes works on a slmllar prlnclple, wlLh
Lhe lnLense heaL of Lhe sLeam (creaLed when waLer ls Lhrown on a plL full of red-hoL sLones) ln a
small, enclosed area Lrlggerlng alLered sLaLes. Andrew Well suggesLs LhaL eaLlng chlll peppers ls
anoLher way Lo use (mlld) paln Lo lnvoke (mlld) alLered sLaLes.
Þhyslcal exhausLlon can also acL as a Lrlgger, Lhe ºrunner's hlgh" belng Lhe mosL famous
example. lL has long been LhoughL Lo spark Lhe release of Lhe body's own oplolds, buL recenL
sLudles are polnLlng Loward Lhe body's naLural cannabls analogues as Lhe blochemlcal LhaL geLs
released. Slmllarly, noL all lnsLances of Lhe Sun uance lnvolved suspenslon by flesh, someLlmes
Lhe parLlclpanLs achleved alLered sLaLes by danclng unLll Lhey llLerally dropped from
ln her auLoblography, auLlsLlc uonna Wllllams wrlLes: ºCne of Lhe ways of maklng Lhlngs seem
Lo slow down was Lo bllnk or Lo Lurn Lhe llghL on and off really fasL. lf you bllnked really fasL,
people behaved llke ln old frame-by-frame movles, you goL Lhe effecL of sLrobe llghLs wlLhouL
Lhe conLrol belng Laken ouL of your hands." 8y seemlng Lo slow down Lhe world around her, Lhe
rapld bllnklng gave Wllllams a sense of deLachmenL, as lf she were waLchlng reallLy lnsLead of
belng a parL of lL-a sure slgn of an alLered sLaLe. Slnce, as she polnLs ouL, Lhls Lechnlque
slmulaLes a sLrobe llghL, lL mlghL also have Lhe physlologlcal effecLs of sLrobe llghLs, Lrlggerlng
cerLaln pulses ln Lhe braln.
lrom klds on playgrounds Lo Sufl mysLlcs (ºwhlrllng dervlshes"), splnnlng ls a qulck, easy way Lo
lnsLlgaLe an undenlable Lrlp, ln Lhe physlcal and menLal senses.
Louchlng, sex, orgasm
Þhyslcal conLacL wlLh oLher people releases endorphlns, whlch explalns some of Lhe pleasurable
sensaLlons of massage, cuddllng, and sex. Crgasm releases a cascade of endorphlns all by lLself,
as well as Lhe hormone oxyLocln. noL a whole loL ls known abouL Lhe effecLs of oxyLocln, buL lL
seems Lo lncrease lnLerpersonal bondlng and feellngs of closeness.
8esldes lnclLlng Lhe release of Lhese hormones, Lhe orgasm lLself ls slmply a LranscendenL
experlence. lf you glve yourself over Lo lL compleLely, lL LransporLs you Lo anoLher sLaLe of
consclousness where Lhe ego cannoL Lread. 1here's a reason LhaL Lhe lrench call lL peLlL morL,
ºllLLle deaLh." Plndulsm, 8uddhlsm, and 1aolsm all have branches LhaL seek Lo use orgasm (or
wlLhholdlng of orgasm) as a means of channellng llfe-force energy lnLo helghLened splrlLuallLy.
?acklng your guLs up ls usually consldered a mlserable experlence, buL Andrew Well argues LhaL
lL may be a way of experlenclng an alLered sLaLe. Pe hlghllghLs yoglc and naLlve Amerlcan
rlLuals lnvolvlng Lhe acL, and he polnLs ouL LhaL barflng masslvely lnvokes Lhe parasympaLheLlc
nervous sysLem, whlch can have pleaslng effecLs on resplraLlon, hearL raLe, and lacrlmaLlon
(producLlon of Lears). lL mlghL also be a way Lo rld yourself of unwanLed emoLlons and paLLerns.
Well reporLs on hls self-lnduced vomlLlng: ºlrom Lhe successes l have had, l can LesLlfy LhaL Lhe
resulL ls lndeed a feellng of well-belng."
CLhers: falllng ln love, fasLlng, hypnosls, medlLaLlon, sensory deprlvaLlon,
sensory overload , and sleeplng and dreamlng.
+ Crlme and ÞunlshmenL
LlS1 13 13 lnnocenL Þeople Who WenL
AL press Llme, Lhe lnnocence Þro[ecL had secured Lhe release of 141 people who were roLLlng ln
prlson for crlmes Lhey dldn'L commlL. uslng unA LesLlng, Lhe nonproflL group proves LhaL Lhe
wrongfully convlcLed are noL Lhe ones who commlLLed Lhe crlmes ln quesLlon.
Avery was senL up ln 1986 on convlcLlons for flrsL-degree sexual assaulL, aLLempLed murder,
and false lmprlsonmenL. AfLer servlng elghLeen years ln hell, unA uncovered Lhe real perp.
Chalmers ls one of many poor saps who wenL Lo prlson based solely on ldenLlflcaLlon by Lhe
vlcLlm. 1he woman who was raped was unable Lo plck Chalmers ouL of a phoLo llneup Lhe flrsL
Llme around. A monLh and a half laLer, she was shown anoLher group of slx phoLos. Chalmers
was Lhe only one whose plcLure was ln boLh llne-ups, and Lhe vlcLlm chose hlm. ln courL, she
reafflrmed LhaL he was Lhe one who raped and robbed her. Chalmers was senLenced Lo Lwelve
Lo 24 years for rape, sodomy, robbery, and Lwo counLs of grand larceny. unA LesLs performed
ln summer 1994 showed LhaL he dldn'L do lL, and he was released afLer spendlng seven and a
half years ln prlson.
ln 1983, a serles of rapes and aLLempLed rapes of Leenage glrls ln SL. Louls had Lhe clLy on edge.
Þollce plcked up Lrby ln Lhe vlclnlLy where a peeplng Lom had been reporLed, and prosecuLors
consldered hlm a suspecL ln Lhe aLLacks. All of Lhe vlcLlms flngered hlm as Lhelr assallanL. Lven
Lhough he had allbl wlLnesses for Lhe Llmes of Lhe aLLacks, he was senLenced Lo 113 years on
mulLlple counLs: kldnapplng, armed crlmlnal acLlon, forclble rape, forclble sodomy, and sLeallng.
1he lnnocence Þro[ecL sLarLed worklng on hls case ln 1993 buL wasn'L able Lo force unA LesLlng
unLll elghL years laLer. 1he resulLs showed LhaL Lrby could noL posslbly have commlLLed any of
!ohnson was charged wlLh raplng and robblng a woman who laLer plcked hlm ouL of a phoLo
llne-up and a llve llne-up. no oLher evldence was presenLed, and, unbellevably, hls own
aLLorney falled Lo submlL evldence LhaL would've lmmedlaLely cleared !ohnson (LesLs showed
Lhe vlcLlm had been raped by someone who secreLes P anLlgens, !ohnson does noL secreLe
Lhem). AfLer four years ln Lhe cllnk, he was glven hls llfe back ln 1996, Lhanks Lo unA LesLlng
and Lhe lnnocence Þro[ecL.
ln 2001, Maze became Lhe one-hundredLh lnnocenL person Lo be released from prlson based on
unA LesLs. A rape vlcLlm hadn'L plcked hlm ouL of Lwo llve llne-ups buL flngered hlm ln a phoLo
llne-up. 8ased compleLely on Lhls less-Lhan-reassurlng ldenLlflcaLlon, Maze was glven 80 years
ln Lhe slammer. AfLer Lhe lnnocence Þro[ecL goL lnvolved, auLhorlLles sald LhaL Lhe rape klL had
been losL. When pressed, Lhey flnally locaLed lL, and lL showed LhaL Maze was noL Lhe raplsL. Pe
had served 21 years. 1he Þro[ecL reporLs: ºShocklngly, afLer Lhe new prosecuLors on Lhe case
conLacLed Lhe vlcLlm, she revealed LhaL Lhe pollce had hypnoLlzed her prlor Lo her ldenLlflcaLlon
of Mayes from Lhe phoLographlc llneup."
Calvln Lee ScoLL
ScoLL was convlcLed of a rape LhaL occurred ln 1982. Pe sLarLed servlng hls senLence Lhe nexL
year, and lL wasn'L unLll 20 years laLer Lhe real raplsL was uncovered and ScoLL was freed.
Þollce LhoughL WashlngLon had raped and kllled a young moLher ln Culpeper, vlrglnla. When
Lhey plcked hlm up for an alleged assaulL, WashlngLon-whose lC ls ln Lhe nelghborhood of
69-rapldly agreed wlLh pollce LhaL he was responslble for flve dlfferenL crlmes, lncludlng Lhe
sexual assaulL/murder. 1he courLs Lhrew ouL four of Lhose confesslons when lL became obvlous
LhaL WashlngLon had [usL Lold Lhe cops whaL Lhey wanLed Lo hear. ?eL Lhe dlsLrlcL aLLorney
apparenLly was convlnced LhaL Lhe flfLh confesslon was genulne, even Lhough WashlngLon
dldn'L know any of Lhe deLalls (for example, he sald he knlfed Lhe vlcLlm Lwo or Lhree Llmes
when she had acLually been sLabbed 38 Llmes). 1hls obvlously bogus confesslon was llLerally Lhe
only evldence agalnsL WashlngLon, buL lL was enough Lo geL hlm senLenced Lo deaLh. AfLer
sevenLeen years, he was sprung when unA showed Lhe perp was someone else.
1hree eyewlLnesses (lncludlng Lhe vlcLlm) and mlsleadlng sclenLlflc LesLlmony were enough Lo
geL WebsLer senLenced Lo 30 years for rape and housebreaklng. Pe wenL ln as a 20-year-old
and came ouL as a 40-year-old afLer unA LesLlng showed he could noL have been Lhe one who
commlLLed Lhe 1982 crlme.
9 10 11 12 13
1he CenLral Þark llve
ln a crlme LhaL became seared lnLo our collecLlve psyche, 1rlsha Melll was vlclously raped and
beaLen almosL Lo deaLh whlle [ogglng ln CenLral Þark on Aprll 19, 1989. 1hrough lnLense,
maraLhon lnLerrogaLlons, pollce obLalned confllcLlng confesslons from flve Leenagers: ?usef
Salaam, kevln 8lchardson, AnLron McCray, 8aymond SanLana, and kharey Wlse. AfLer Lhey had
served elghL years, MaLlas 8eyes-already ln prlson for rape and murder-sald LhaL he had
commlLLed Lhe crlme. unA from halr and semen on Lhe vlcLlm were LesLed and maLched Lo
Wlse. A halr found on one of Lhe boys, whlch had ºmaLched and resembled" Lhe vlcLlm's halr,
was shown Lhrough mlLochondrlal unA LesLlng noL Lo be hers. 1he flve young men were freed
ln uecember 2002.
Law CuoLe # 1ºLaw never made men a whlL more [usL, and, by means of Lhelr respecL for lL,
even Lhe well-dlsposed are dally made Lhe agenLs of ln[usLlce."
-Penry uavld 1horeau
LlS1 16 36 8oLched LxecuLlons
Mlchael L. 8adeleL, Þh.u .
lrank !. Coppola
AugusL 10, 1982, vlrglnla, elecLrocuLlon. AlLhough no medla represenLaLlves wlLnessed Lhe
execuLlon and no deLalls were ever released by Lhe vlrglnla ueparLmenL of CorrecLlons, an
aLLorney who was presenL laLer sLaLed LhaL lL Look Lwo 33-second [olLs of elecLrlclLy Lo klll
Coppola. 1he second [olL produced Lhe odor and slzzllng sound of burnlng flesh, and Coppola's
head and leg caughL on flre. Smoke fllled Lhe deaLh chamber from floor Lo celllng.
Aprll 22, 1983, Alabama, elecLrocuLlon. AfLer Lhe flrsL [olL of elecLrlclLy, sparks and flames
erupLed from Lhe elecLrode aLLached Lo Lvans' leg. 1he elecLrode bursL from Lhe sLrap holdlng lL
ln place and caughL on flre. Smoke and sparks also came ouL from under Lhe hood ln Lhe vlclnlLy
of Lvans' lefL Lemple. 1wo physlclans enLered Lhe chamber and found a hearLbeaL. 1he
elecLrode was reaLLached Lo hls leg, and anoLher [olL of elecLrlclLy was applled. 1hls resulLed ln
more smoke and burnlng flesh. Agaln Lhe docLors found a hearLbeaL. lgnorlng Lhe pleas of
Lvans' lawyer, a Lhlrd [olL of elecLrlclLy was applled. 1he execuLlon Look fourLeen mlnuLes and
lefL Lvans' body charred and smolderlng.
!lmmy Lee Cray
SepLember 2, 1983, Mlsslsslppl, asphyxlaLlon. Cfflclals had Lo clear Lhe room elghL mlnuLes
afLer Lhe gas was released when Cray's desperaLe gasps for alr repulsed wlLnesses. Pls
aLLorney, uennls 8alske of MonLgomery, Alabama, crlLlclzed sLaLe offlclals for clearlng Lhe room
when Lhe lnmaLe was sLlll allve. Sald noLed deaLh penalLy defense aLLorney uavld 8ruck: º!lmmy
Lee Cray dled banglng hls head agalnsL a sLeel pole ln Lhe gas chamber whlle Lhe reporLers
counLed hls moans (eleven, accordlng Lo Lhe AssoclaLed Þress)." LaLer lL was revealed LhaL Lhe
execuLloner, 8arry 8ruce, was drunk.
Alpha CLls SLephens
uecember 12, 1984, Ceorgla, elecLrocuLlon. º1he flrsL charge of elecLrlclLy.falled Lo klll hlm,
and he sLruggled Lo breaLhe for elghL mlnuLes before a second charge carrled ouL hls deaLh
senLence." AfLer Lhe flrsL Lwo-mlnuLe power surge, Lhere was a slx-mlnuLe pause so hls body
could cool before physlclans could examlne hlm (and declare LhaL anoLher [olL was needed).
uurlng LhaL slx-mlnuLe lnLerval, SLephens Look 23 breaLhs. A Ceorgla prlson offlclal sald,
ºSLephens was [usL noL a conducLor" of elecLrlclLy.
SLephen ÞeLer Morln
March 13, 1983, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 8ecause of Morln's hlsLory of drug abuse, Lhe execuLlon
Lechnlclans were forced Lo probe boLh of Morln's arms and one of hls legs wlLh needles for
nearly 43 mlnuLes before Lhey found a sulLable veln.
Wllllam L. vandlver
CcLober 16, 1983, lndlana, elecLrocuLlon. AfLer Lhe flrsL admlnlsLraLlon of 2,300 volLs, vandlver
was sLlll breaLhlng. 1he execuLlon evenLually Look sevenLeen mlnuLes and flve [olLs of
elecLrlclLy. vandlver's aLLorney, PerberL Shaps, wlLnessed Lhe execuLlon and observed smoke
and a burnlng smell. Pe called Lhe execuLlon ºouLrageous." 1he ueparLmenL of CorrecLlons
admlLLed Lhe execuLlon ºdld noL go accordlng Lo plan."
AugusL 20, 1986, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. A drug addlcL, Woolls helped Lhe execuLlon Lechnlclans
flnd a useable veln for Lhe execuLlon.
LllloL 8od !ohnson
!une 24, 1987, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 8ecause of collapsed velns, lL Look nearly an hour Lo
compleLe Lhe execuLlon.
uecember 13, 1988, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. Þronounced dead 40 mlnuLes afLer belng sLrapped
Lo Lhe execuLlon gurney and 24 mlnuLes afLer Lhe drugs flrsL sLarLed flowlng lnLo hls arms. 1wo
mlnuLes afLer Lhe drugs were admlnlsLered, Lhe syrlnge came ouL of Landry's veln, spraylng Lhe
deadly chemlcals across Lhe room Loward wlLnesses. 1he curLaln separaLlng Lhe wlLnesses from
Lhe lnmaLe was Lhen pulled and noL reopened for fourLeen mlnuLes, whlle Lhe execuLlon Leam
relnserLed Lhe caLheLer lnLo Lhe veln. WlLnesses reporLed ºaL leasL one groan." A spokesman for
Lhe 1exas ueparLmenL of CorrecLlon, Charles 8rown, sald: º1here was someLhlng of a delay ln
Lhe execuLlon because of whaL offlclals called a 'blowouL.' 1he syrlnge came ouL of Lhe veln,
and Lhe warden ordered Lhe (execuLlon) Leam Lo relnserL Lhe caLheLer lnLo Lhe veln."
May 24, 1989, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. McCoy had such a vlolenL physlcal reacLlon Lo Lhe drugs
(heavlng chesL, gasplng, choklng, back archlng off Lhe gurney, eLc.) LhaL one of Lhe wlLnesses (a
male) falnLed, crashlng lnLo and knocklng over anoLher wlLness. PousLon aLLorney karen Zellars,
who represenLed McCoy and wlLnessed Lhe execuLlon, LhoughL Lhe falnLlng would caLalyze a
chaln reacLlon. 1he 1exas ALLorney Ceneral admlLLed Lhe lnmaLe ºseemed Lo have a somewhaL
sLronger reacLlon," addlng: º1he drugs mlghL have been admlnlsLered ln a heavler dose or more
Porace lranklln uunklns, !r.
!uly 14, 1989, Alabama, elecLrocuLlon. lL Look Lwo [olLs of elecLrlclLy, nlne mlnuLes aparL, Lo
compleLe Lhe execuLlon. AfLer Lhe flrsL [olL falled Lo klll Lhe prlsoner (who was mlldly reLarded),
Lhe capLaln of Lhe prlson guard opened Lhe door Lo Lhe wlLness room and sLaLed: ºl belleve
we've goL Lhe [acks on wrong." 8ecause Lhe cables had been connecLed lmproperly, lL was
lmposslble Lo dlspense sufflclenL currenL Lo cause deaLh. 1he cables were reconnecLed before a
second [olL was admlnlsLered. ueaLh was pronounced nlneLeen mlnuLes afLer Lhe flrsL elecLrlc
charge. AL a posL-execuLlon news conference, Alabama Þrlson Commlssloner Morrls 1hlgpen
sald, ºl regreL very, very much whaL happened. [1he cause] was human error."
!esse !oseph 1afero
May 4, 1990, llorlda, elecLrocuLlon. uurlng Lhe execuLlon, slx-lnch flames erupLed from 1afero's
head, and Lhree [olLs of power were requlred Lo sLop hls breaLhlng. SLaLe offlclals clalmed LhaL
Lhe boLched execuLlon was caused by ºlnadverLenL human error"-Lhe lnapproprlaLe
subsLlLuLlon of a synLheLlc sponge for a naLural sponge LhaL had been used ln prevlous
execuLlons. 1hey aLLempLed Lo supporL Lhls Lheory by sLlcklng a parL of a synLheLlc sponge lnLo
a ºcommon household LoasLer" and observlng LhaL lL smoldered and caughL flre.
SepLember 12, 1990, llllnols, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 8ecause of equlpmenL fallure and human error,
Walker suffered excruclaLlng paln durlng hls execuLlon. Accordlng Lo Cary SuLLerfleld, an
englneer from Lhe Mlssourl SLaLe Þrlson who was reLalned by Lhe SLaLe of llllnols Lo asslsL Lhe
execuLlon, a klnk ln Lhe plasLlc Lublng golng lnLo Walker's arm sLopped Lhe deadly chemlcals
from reachlng Walker. ln addlLlon, Lhe lnLravenous needle was lnserLed polnLlng aL Walker's
flngers lnsLead of hls hearL, prolonglng Lhe execuLlon.
WllberL Lee Lvans
CcLober 17, 1990, vlrglnla, elecLrocuLlon. When Lvans was hlL wlLh Lhe flrsL bursL of elecLrlclLy,
blood spewed from Lhe rlghL slde of Lhe mask on hls face, drenchlng hls shlrL and causlng a
slzzllng sound as blood drlpped from hls llps. Lvans conLlnued Lo moan before a second [olL of
elecLrlclLy was applled. 1he auLopsy concluded LhaL Lvans suffered a bloody nose afLer Lhe
volLage surge elevaLed hls hlgh blood pressure.
uerlck Lynn ÞeLerson
AugusL 22, 1991, vlrglnla, elecLrocuLlon. AfLer Lhe flrsL cycle of elecLrlclLy was applled, and
agaln four mlnuLes laLer, prlson physlclan uavld 8arnes lnspecLed ÞeLerson's neck and checked
hlm wlLh a sLeLhoscope, announclng each Llme: ºPe has noL explred." Seven and one-half
mlnuLes afLer Lhe flrsL aLLempL Lo klll Lhe lnmaLe, a second cycle of elecLrlclLy was applled.
Þrlson offlclals laLer announced LhaL ln Lhe fuLure Lhey would rouLlnely admlnlsLer Lwo cycles
before checklng for a hearLbeaL.
8lckey 8ay 8ecLor
!anuary 24, 1992, Arkansas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. lL Look medlcal sLaff more Lhan 30 mlnuLes Lo flnd
a sulLable veln ln 8ecLor's arm. WlLnesses were kepL behlnd a drawn curLaln and noL permlLLed
Lo vlew Lhls scene, buL Lhey reporLed hearlng 8ecLor's elghL loud moans LhroughouL Lhe
process. uurlng Lhe ordeal, 8ecLor (who suffered from serlous braln damage) helped Lhe
medlcal personnel flnd a veln. 1he admlnlsLraLor of Lhe sLaLe's ueparLmenL of CorrecLlons
medlcal programs sald (paraphrased by a newspaper reporLer): º1he moans dld come as a Leam
of Lwo medlcal people LhaL had grown Lo flve worked on boLh sldes of hls body Lo flnd a veln."
1he admlnlsLraLor sald: º1haL may have conLrlbuLed Lo hls occaslonal ouLbursLs." 1he dlfflculLy
ln flndlng a sulLable veln was laLer aLLrlbuLed Lo 8ecLor's bulk and hls regular use of
uonald Lugene Pardlng
Aprll 6, 1992, Arlzona, asphyxlaLlon. ueaLh was noL pronounced unLll Len and a half mlnuLes
afLer Lhe cyanlde LableLs were dropped. uurlng Lhe execuLlon, Pardlng Lhrashed and sLruggled
vlolenLly agalnsL Lhe resLralnlng sLraps. A Lelevlslon [ournallsL who wlLnessed Lhe execuLlon,
Cameron Parper, sald LhaL Pardlng's spasms and [erks lasLed slx mlnuLes and 37 seconds.
ºCbvlously, Lhls man was sufferlng. 1hls was a vlolenL deaLh.an ugly evenL. We puL anlmals Lo
deaLh more humanely." AnoLher wlLness, newspaper reporLer Carla McClaln, sald: ºPardlng's
deaLh was exLremely vlolenL. Pe was ln greaL paln. l heard hlm gasp and moan. l saw hls body
Lurn from red Lo purple." Cne reporLer who wlLnessed Lhe execuLlon suffered from lnsomnla
and assorLed lllnesses for several weeks, Lwo oLhers were ºwalklng vegeLables" for several
8obyn Lee Þarks
March 10, 1992, Cklahoma, leLhal ln[ecLlon. Þarks had a vlolenL reacLlon Lo Lhe drugs used ln
Lhe leLhal ln[ecLlon. 1wo mlnuLes afLer Lhe drugs were dlspensed, Lhe muscles ln hls [aw, neck,
and abdomen reacLed spasmodlcally for approxlmaLely 43 seconds. Þarks conLlnued Lo gasp
and vlolenLly gag unLll deaLh came, some eleven mlnuLes afLer Lhe drugs were flrsL
admlnlsLered. 1ulsa World reporLer Wayne Creene wroLe LhaL Lhe execuLlon looked ºpalnful
and ugly [and] scary." ºlL was overwhelmlng, sLunnlng, dlsLurblng-an lnLruslon lnLo a momenL
so personal LhaL reporLers, LaughL for years LhaL lnLruslon ls Lhelr buslness, had Lrouble looklng
each oLher ln Lhe eyes afLer lL was over."
8llly Wayne WhlLe
Aprll 23, 1992, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. WhlLe was pronounced dead some 47 mlnuLes afLer
belng sLrapped Lo Lhe execuLlon gurney. 1he delay was caused by dlfflculLy flndlng a veln, WhlLe
had a long hlsLory of heroln abuse. uurlng Lhe execuLlon, WhlLe aLLempLed Lo asslsL Lhe
auLhorlLles ln flndlng a sulLable veln.
!usLln Lee May
May 7, 1992, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. May had an unusually vlolenL reacLlon Lo Lhe leLhal drugs.
Accordlng Lo one reporLer who wlLnessed Lhe execuLlon, May ºgasped, coughed and reared
agalnsL hls heavy leaLher resLralnLs, coughlng once agaln before hls body froze." AssoclaLed
Þress reporLer Mlchael Craczyk wroLe: ºCompared Lo oLher recenL execuLlons ln 1exas, May's
reacLlon was more vlolenL. Pe wenL lnLo a coughlng spasm, groaned and gasped, llfLed hls head
from Lhe deaLh chamber gurney and would have arched hls back lf he had noL been belLed
down. AfLer he sLopped breaLhlng, hls eyes and mouLh remalned open."
!ohn Wayne Cacy
May 10, 1994, llllnols, leLhal ln[ecLlon. AfLer Lhe execuLlon began, Lhe leLhal chemlcals
unexpecLedly solldlfled, clogglng Lhe lv Lube LhaL lead lnLo Cacy's arm and prohlblLlng any
furLher passage. 8llnds coverlng Lhe wlndow Lhrough whlch wlLnesses observed Lhe execuLlon
were drawn, and Lhe execuLlon Leam replaced Lhe clogged Lube wlLh a new one. 1en mlnuLes
laLer, Lhe bllnds were Lhen reopened and Lhe execuLlon process resumed. lL Look elghLeen
mlnuLes Lo compleLe. AnesLheslologlsLs blamed Lhe problem on Lhe lnexperlence of prlson
offlclals who were conducLlng Lhe execuLlon, saylng LhaL proper procedures LaughL ln ºlv 101"
would have prevenLed Lhe error.
May 3, 1993, Mlssourl, leLhal ln[ecLlon. Seven mlnuLes afLer Lhe leLhal chemlcals began Lo flow
lnLo losLer's arm, Lhe execuLlon was halLed when Lhe chemlcals sLopped clrculaLlng. WlLh
losLer gasplng and convulslng, Lhe bllnds were drawn so Lhe wlLnesses could noL vlew Lhe
scene. ueaLh was pronounced 30 mlnuLes afLer Lhe execuLlon began, and Lhree mlnuLes laLer
Lhe bllnds were reopened so Lhe wlLnesses could vlew Lhe corpse.
Accordlng Lo Wllllam ºMal" Cum, Lhe WashlngLon CounLy Coroner who pronounced deaLh, Lhe
problem was caused by Lhe LlghLness of Lhe leaLher sLraps LhaL bound losLer Lo Lhe execuLlon
gurney, Lhey were so LlghL LhaL Lhe flow of chemlcals lnLo Lhe velns was resLrlcLed. losLer dld
noL dle unLll several mlnuLes afLer a prlson worker flnally loosened Lhe sLraps. 1he coroner
enLered Lhe deaLh chamber 20 mlnuLes afLer Lhe execuLlon began, dlagnosed Lhe problem, and
Lold Lhe offlclals Lo loosen Lhe sLrap so Lhe execuLlon could proceed. ln an edlLorlal, Lhe SL. Louls
ÞosL-ulspaLch called Lhe execuLlon ºa parLlcularly sordld chapLer ln Mlssourl's caplLal
8lchard 1ownes, !r.
!anuary 23, 1996, vlrglnla, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 1hls execuLlon was delayed for 22 mlnuLes whlle
medlcal personnel sLruggled Lo flnd a veln large enough for Lhe needle. AfLer unsuccessful
aLLempLs Lo lnserL Lhe needle Lhrough Lhe arms, Lhe needle was flnally lnserLed Lhrough Lhe Lop
of 1ownes' rlghL fooL.
1ommle !. SmlLh
!uly 18, 1996, lndlana, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 8ecause of unusually small velns, lL Look one hour and
nlne mlnuLes for SmlLh Lo be pronounced dead afLer Lhe execuLlon Leam began sLlcklng needles
lnLo hls body. lor slxLeen mlnuLes, Lhe execuLlon Leam falled Lo flnd adequaLe velns, so a
physlclan was called. SmlLh was glven a local anesLheLlc and Lhe physlclan Lwlce aLLempLed Lo
lnserL Lhe Lube lnLo SmlLh's neck. When LhaL falled, an anglo-caLheLer was lnserLed ln SmlLh's
fooL. Cnly Lhen were wlLnesses permlLLed Lo vlew Lhe process. 1he leLhal drugs were flnally
ln[ecLed lnLo SmlLh 49 mlnuLes afLer Lhe flrsL aLLempLs, and lL Look anoLher 20 mlnuLes before
deaLh was pronounced.
March 23, 1997, llorlda, elecLrocuLlon. A crown of fooL-hlgh flames shoL from Lhe headplece
durlng Lhe execuLlon, fllllng Lhe execuLlon chamber wlLh a sLench of Lhlck smoke and gagglng
Lhe Lwo-dozen offlclal wlLnesses. An offlclal Lhen Lhrew a swlLch Lo manually cuL off Lhe power
and premaLurely end Lhe Lwo-mlnuLe cycle of 2,000 volLs. Medlna's chesL conLlnued Lo heave
unLll Lhe flames sLopped and deaLh came. AfLer Lhe execuLlon, prlson offlclals blamed Lhe flre
on a corroded copper screen ln Lhe headplece of Lhe elecLrlc chalr, buL Lwo experLs hlred by Lhe
governor laLer concluded LhaL Lhe flre was caused by Lhe lmproper appllcaLlon of a sponge
(deslgned Lo conducL elecLrlclLy) Lo Medlna's head.
ScoLL uawn CarpenLer
May 8, 1997, Cklahoma, leLhal ln[ecLlon. CarpenLer was pronounced dead some eleven mlnuLes
afLer Lhe leLhal ln[ecLlon was admlnlsLered. As Lhe drugs Look effecL, CarpenLer began Lo gasp
and shake. º1hls was followed by a guLLural sound, mulLlple spasms and gasplng for alr" unLll
hls body sLopped movlng, Lhree mlnuLes laLer.
Mlchael Lugene Llklns
!une 13, 1997, SouLh Carollna, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 8ecause Llklns' body had become swollen from
llver and spleen problems, lL Look nearly an hour Lo flnd a sulLable veln for Lhe lnserLlon of Lhe
caLheLer. Llklns Lrled Lo asslsL Lhe execuLloners, asklng: ºShould l lean my head down a llLLle
blL?" as Lhey probed for a veln. AfLer numerous fallures, a usable veln was flnally found ln
Aprll 23, 1998, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. lL Look Lwo aLLempLs Lo compleLe Lhe execuLlon. AfLer
Cannon made hls flnal sLaLemenL, Lhe process began. A veln ln Cannon's arm collapsed and Lhe
needle popped ouL. Seelng Lhls, Cannon lay back, closed hls eyes, and exclalmed Lo Lhe
wlLnesses, ºlL's come undone." Cfflclals Lhen pulled a curLaln Lo block Lhe vlew of Lhe wlLnesses,
reopenlng lL flfLeen mlnuLes laLer when a weeplng Cannon made a second flnal sLaLemenL and
Lhe execuLlon process resumed.
Cenaro 8ulz Camacho
AugusL 26, 1998, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 1he execuLlon was delayed approxlmaLely Lwo hours
due, ln parL, Lo problems flndlng sulLable velns ln Camacho's arms.
CcLober 3, 1998, nevada, leLhal ln[ecLlon. lL Look 23 mlnuLes for Lhe execuLlon Leam Lo flnd a
veln sulLable for Lhe leLhal ln[ecLlon.
Allen Lee uavls
!uly 8, 1999, llorlda, elecLrocuLlon. º8efore he was pronounced dead.Lhe blood from hls
mouLh had poured onLo Lhe collar of hls whlLe shlrL," reporLed Lhe Calnesvllle Sun, ºand Lhe
blood on hls chesL had spread Lo abouL Lhe slze of a dlnner plaLe, even oozlng Lhrough Lhe
buckle holes on Lhe leaLher chesL sLrap holdlng hlm Lo Lhe chalr." 1he execuLlon was Lhe flrsL ln
llorlda's new elecLrlc chalr, bullL especlally so lL could accommodaLe a man uavls' slze
(approxlmaLely 330 pounds).
LaLer, when anoLher llorlda deaLh row lnmaLe challenged Lhe consLlLuLlonallLy of Lhe elecLrlc
chalr, llorlda Supreme CourL !usLlce Leander Shaw commenLed LhaL ºLhe color phoLos of uavls
deplcL a man who-for all appearances-was bruLally LorLured Lo deaLh by Lhe clLlzens of
llorlda." !usLlce Shaw also descrlbed Lhe boLched execuLlons of !esse 1afero and Þedro Medlna,
calllng Lhe Lhree execuLlons ºbarbarlc specLacles" and ºacLs more beflLLlng a vlolenL murderer
Lhan a clvlllzed sLaLe." !usLlce Shaw lncluded plcLures of uavls' dead body ln hls oplnlon. 1he
execuLlon was wlLnessed by a llorlda SLaLe SenaLor, Clnny 8rown-WalLe, who aL flrsL was
ºshocked" Lo see Lhe blood, unLll she reallzed LhaL Lhe blood was formlng Lhe shape of a cross
and LhaL lL was a message from Cod saylng he supporLed Lhe execuLlon.
ChrlsLlna Marle 8lggs
May 3, 2000, Arkansas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. 8lggs dropped her appeals and asked Lo be execuLed.
Powever, Lhe execuLlon was delayed for elghLeen mlnuLes when prlson sLaff couldn'L flnd a
sulLable veln ln her elbows. llnally, 8lggs agreed Lo Lhe execuLloners' requesLs Lo have Lhe
needles lnserLed lnLo her wrlsLs.
!une 8, 2000, llorlda, leLhal ln[ecLlon. lL Look execuLlon Lechnlclans 33 mlnuLes Lo flnd sulLable
velns for Lhe execuLlon. º1hey buLchered me back Lhere," sald uemps ln hls flnal sLaLemenL. ºl
was ln a loL of paln. 1hey cuL me ln Lhe groln, Lhey cuL me ln Lhe leg. l was bleedlng profusely.
1hls ls noL an execuLlon, lL ls murder." 1he execuLloners had no unusual problems flndlng one
veln, buL because llorlda proLocol requlres a second alLernaLe lnLravenous drlp, Lhey conLlnued
Lo work Lo lnserL anoLher needle, flnally abandonlng Lhe efforL afLer Lhelr prolonged fallures.
uecember 7, 2000, 1exas, leLhal ln[ecLlon. !ones' execuLlon was delayed 30 mlnuLes whlle Lhe
execuLlon ºLeam" sLruggled Lo lnserL an l.v. lnLo a veln. Pe had been a longLlme lnLravenous
drug user. Cne member of Lhe execuLlon Leam commenLed, º1hey had Lo sLlck hlm abouL flve
Llmes. 1hey flnally puL lL ln hls leg." WroLe !lm WllleLL, Lhe warden of Lhe Walls unlL and Lhe
man responslble for conducLlng Lhe execuLlon:
1he medlcal Leam could noL flnd a veln. now l was really beglnnlng Lo worry. lf you can'L
sLlck a veln Lhen a cuL-down has Lo be performed. l have never seen one and would [usL as
soon go Lhrough Lhe resL of my career Lhe same way. !usL when l was really geLLlng worrled,
one of Lhe medlcal people hlL a veln ln Lhe lefL leg. lnslde calf Lo be exacL. 1he execuLloner
had warned me noL Lo panlc as lL was golng Lo Lake a whlle Lo geL Lhe flulds ln Lhe body of
Lhe lnmaLe LonlghL because he was golng Lo push Lhe drugs Lhrough very slowly. llnally, Lhe
drug Look effecL and !ones Look hls lasL breaLh .
8erL Leroy PunLer
!une 28, 2000, Mlssourl, leLhal ln[ecLlon. PunLer had an unusual reacLlon Lo Lhe leLhal drugs,
repeaLedly coughlng and gasplng for alr before he lapsed lnLo unconsclousness. An aLLorney
who wlLnessed Lhe execuLlon reporLed LhaL PunLer had ºvlolenL convulslons. Pls head and
chesL [erked rapldly upward as far as Lhe gurney resLralnLs would allow, and Lhen he fell qulckly
down upon Lhe gurney. Pls body convulsed back and forLh llke Lhls repeaLedly.. Pe suffered a
vlolenL and agonlzlng deaLh."
november 7, 2001, Ceorgla, leLhal ln[ecLlon. Plgh was pronounced dead some one hour and
nlne mlnuLes afLer Lhe execuLlon began. AfLer aLLempLlng Lo flnd a useable veln for 39 mlnuLes,
Lhe emergency medlcal Lechnlclans under conLracL Lo do Lhe execuLlon abandoned Lhelr efforLs.
LvenLually, one needle was sLuck lnLo Plgh's hand, and a physlclan was called ln Lo lnserL a
second needle beLween hls shoulder and neck.
Law CuoLe # 2º1he law ln lLs ma[esLlc equallLy, forblds Lhe rlch as well as Lhe poor Lo sleep
under brldges, Lo beg ln Lhe sLreeLs, and Lo sLeal bread."
13 LasL Meals 8equesLed by
LxecuLed 1exas Þrlsoners
1aken verbaLlm from a now-deleLed page on Lhe 1exas ueparLmenL of Crlmlnal !usLlce webslLe.
SLanley 8aker, !r.
LxecuLed May 30, 2002. º1wo 16 oz. rlbeyes, one lb. Lurkey breasL (sllced Lhln), Lwelve sLrlps of
bacon, Lwo large hamburgers wlLh mayo, onlon, and leLLuce, Lwo large baked poLaLoes wlLh
buLLer, sour cream, cheese, and chlves, four sllces of cheese or one-half pound of graLed
cheddar cheese, chef salad wlLh blue cheese dresslng, Lwo ears of corn on Lhe cob, one plnL of
mlnL chocolaLe chlp lce cream, and four vanllla Cokes or Mr. Þlbb."
Cdell 8arnes, !r.
LxecuLed March 1, 2000. lor hls lasL meal requesL, 8arnes wroLe: º!usLlce, LquallLy, World
LxecuLed !anuary 13, 2003. ºCool Whlp and cherrles."
Penry uunn, !r.
LxecuLed lebruary 6, 2003. ºCheeseburger (exLra cheese, plckles, onlon, leLLuce, and salad
dresslng), Lray of lrench frles, boLLle of keLchup, 23 breaded frled shrlmp, four cans of
plneapple [ulce, Lwo banana spllLs, boLLle of Pershey's syrup, and one [ar of apple buLLer [am."
LxecuLed lebruary 23, 2000. ºCne apple, one orange, one banana, coconuL, and peaches."
LxecuLed !uly 30, 1993. ºCod's savlng grace, love, LruLh, peace and freedom."
LxecuLed november 14, 2000. ºCne [ar of dlll plckles."
LxecuLed May 28, 1997. ºAsked LhaL flnal meal be provlded Lo a homeless person."
LxecuLed CcLober 22, 2001. ºCne bag of assorLed !olly 8anchers."
LxecuLed CcLober 1, 2002. ºCne poL of coffee."
LxecuLed !une 26, 2001. ºChocolaLe blrLhday cake wlLh '2/23/90' wrlLLen on Lop, seven plnk
candles, one coconuL, klwl frulL [ulce, plneapple [ulce, one mango, grapes, leLLuce, coLLage
cheese, peaches, one banana, one dellclous apple, chef salad wlLhouL meaL and wlLh Lhousand
lsland dresslng, frulL salad, cheese, and LomaLo sllces."
LxecuLed !uly 26, 2000. ºChlcken, Lhree pleces of flsh, burgers, plzza, frulL (grapes, plums,
peaches, apples, Langerlnes), doughnuLs, walnuLs, chocolaLe candy bar, plaln poLaLo chlps,
plcanLe sauce, hoL sauce, salad wlLh ranch dresslng, Coke, and SprlLe."
uelberL 1eague, !r.
LxecuLed SepLember 9, 1998. 1he 1exas ueparLmenL of Crlmlnal !usLlce noLes: ºLasL mlnuLe he
declded Lo eaL a hamburger aL hls MoLher's requesL."
Law CuoLe # 3º1he more corrupL Lhe sLaLe, Lhe more laws."-1aclLus
LlS1 18 8 Pandmade Þrlson Cb[ecLs
ln order Lo keep prlson garb looklng nlce, a prlsoner named Angelo-auLhor of Þrlsoners'
lnvenLlons-says LhaL lnmaLes wlll roll up a newspaper unLll lLs falrly sLlff, Lhen run a Lhln sLrlp
of bedsheeL Lhrough Lhe hollow cenLer. 1ylng Lhe ends LogeLher wlLh plenLy of exLra lengLh
creaLes a Lrlangle wlLh Lhe paper as Lhe sLurdy base. 1he conLrapLlon ls Lhen hung on an
lmprovlsed hook made ouL of a papercllp and a wooden domlno glued Lo Lhe wall wlLh conLacL
lamlllar Lo many campers, Lhe lmmerslon heaLer has a meLal pro[ecLlon LhaL geLs hoL and ls
used Lo warm up beverages. lL's used Lhls way ln prlson, where lL's called a ºsLlnger," Lhough lL's
also handy for brandlng, elLher for purposes of volunLary body modlflcaLlon or LorLure. Cne way
prlsoners make Lhelr own ls Lo use meLal Labs from paper blnders aLLached Lo handles of
LooLhbrushes. 1he Lwo Labs aL one end are lnserLed lnLo a wall sockeL, heaLlng Lhe Labs aL Lhe
oLher end, whlch are lowered lnLo Lhe drlnk.
Þresumably Lo prevenL caLchlng dlseases, some [allhouse 8omeos fashlon condoms ouL of
plasLlc wrap or sandwlch bags fasLened ln place wlLh Lhread or a rubberband.
lf you'd raLher noL have Lo worry abouL dlseases aL all, you can whlp up a homemade blow-up
doll of sorLs. AlLhough known as a muff bag, Lhls conLrapLlon slmulaLes a bounLlful booLy.
Accordlng Lo Angelo, you Lle LogeLher Lhe corners of Lwo plasLlc bags used Lo llne small
wasLebaskeLs, flll wlLh waLer, and Lle off Lhe openlngs. ºAdd rolled-up blankeLs Lo slmulaLe Lhe
Lorso and legs and supply supporL, and you're ready Lo sllp lL Lo her."
LolleL paper mache
WeL LolleL paper can me molded lnLo almosL any shape, whlch lL reLalns afLer drylng. 8ecause of
Lhls, LolleL paper mache has been made lnLo dlce, domlnos, chess pleces, cups (llned wlLh Saran
wrap), and even sculpLed works of arL.
1aLLoos are common among lnmaLes, buL how do you geL one behlnd bars? WlLh devlces made
from a sharpened plece of wlre, gulLar sLrlng, pens, papercllps, rubber bands, and a moLor from
a porLable casseLLe player (l.e., a Walkman), a sloL car, an elecLrlc razor, eLc.
Þruno, also called cellblock wlne, ls alcohol ºbrewed" ln prlson. 1he baslc ldea ls Lo crudely
fermenL anyLhlng conLalnlng sugar by mashlng lL up wlLh waLer ln a bag, leLLlng Lhe conLenLs
sLew for around a week whlle occaslonally heaLlng Lhe concocLlon by runnlng warm waLer over
Lhe bag. Þruno has been made from oranges, ralslns, LableLop sugar, yams, !ello, honey, candy,
cake frosLlng, keLchup, or comblnaLlons Lhereof. 1he guys behlnd Lhe webzlne 8lack 1able made
Lhelr own pruno as an experlmenL: ºlor lack of a beLLer meLaphor, pruno LasLes llke a blle
flavored wlne cooler. lL LasLes so bad, ln facL, LhaL lL could very well be polsonous or
psychedellc, whlch mlghL explaln Lhe vlolence lL lnduces ln prlsoners."
Also known as a shlv, a shank ls anyLhlng LhaL can be used Lo slash or sLab. 1rylng Lo geL a knlfe
smuggled lnLo prlson ls rlskler Lhan slmply maklng one yourself ouL of avallable maLerlal wlLhln
Lhe prlson. Shanks can be creaLed from plasLlc, Þlexlglas, wood, meLal scraps, LooLhbrushes,
pens, nalls and bolLs, spoons, screwdrlvers, bed sprlngs, and preLLy much any oLher maLerlal or
ob[ecL you can lmaglne.
!udge LambasLs Þollce for Abuse of ÞroLesLers ClrculL CourL !udge 8lchard Margollus
Look Lo Lhe sLreeL Lo observe demonsLraLlons durlng Lhe lree 1rade Area of Lhe Amerlcas
summlL ln Mlaml on november 20-21, 2003. Whlle presldlng over Lhe case agalnsL Lwo
proLesLors who had been arresLed, he declared LhaL he wlLnessed ºno less Lhan 20 felonles
commlLLed by pollce offlcers." Pe also sald: ºÞreLLy dlsgraceful whaL l saw wlLh my own eyes.
And l have always supporLed Lhe pollce durlng my enLlre career. 1hls was a real eye-opener. A
dlsgrace for Lhe communlLy."Pe also engaged ln Lhe followlng exchange wlLh an asslsLanL sLaLe
aLLorney:!udge: ºPow many pollce offlcers have been charged by Lhe SLaLe ALLorney so far for
whaL happened ouL Lhere durlng Lhe l1AA?"AsslsLanL sLaLe aLLorney: ºnone."!udge: ºnone?
ÞreLLy sad commenLary. AL leasL from whaL l saw."
LlS1 19 3 SLaLes Where CockflghLlng ls
ln Lhe so-called sporL of cockflghLlng, Lwo roosLers are puL lnLo a plL where Lhey slash each
oLher Lo pleces unLll one ls dead or aL leasL can no longer sLand. 1he doomed blrds are ouLflLLed
wlLh elLher sharp meLal blades or splkes (gaffs) and are glven varlous drugs-such as caffelne
and meLh-Lo make Lhem more aggresslve and reslsLanL Lo paln and ln[ury. CockflghLlng has
been lllegal ln mosL sLaLes for over a cenLury, and Cklahoma voLers banned lL ln 2002. ?ou
mlghL assume LhaL lL's lllegal LhroughouL Lhe enLlre counLry, buL lL lsn'L. 1here's even a monLhly
magazlne publlshed ouL of SouLh Carollna, CrlL & SLeel, devoLed Lo Lhls currenL equlvalenL of
bearbalLlng, ln whlch Lhe anclenL 8omans cheered as a pack of dogs rlpped aparL a chalned
2. new Mexlco
(ln cerLaln areas)
(gambllng on Lhls savagery ls lllegal, buL Lhe flghLs Lhemselves aren'L)
14 Crlmlnal Cops and 1helr
Crlme: Cfflcer Mark 8olger of 8lchmond, vlrglnla, forced a woman Lo blow hlm ln exchange for
noL arresLlng her.
CuLcome: 8olger was charged wlLh forclble sodomy (a felony) buL pled Lo Lhe much lesser
charge of slmple assaulL (a mlsdemeanor).
ÞunlshmenL: none. 1he 8lchmond 1lmes-ulspaLch reporLs: ºPe does noL face [all Llme or a flne,
buL hls gullLy plea ls admlsslble ln fuLure clvll proceedlngs." AfLer he was charged, 8olger had
recelved four monLhs of pald leave (also known as pald vacaLlon). upon pleadlng gullLy, he
Crlme: Sherlff's uepuLy !eremy Webb of newLon CounLy, Ceorgla, had four klddle porn vldeos
on hls compuLer.
CuLcome: Þled gullLy Lo flve counLs of sexual explolLaLlon.
ÞunlshmenL: llve years probaLlon (flrsL year ln a halfway house), $3,000 ln flnes, menLal
Lherapy, no conLacL wlLh chlldren under slxLeen, lncludlng hls daughLer.
Crlme: Sherlff's LleuLenanL Lrlc uouglass of 8oone CounLy, lndlana, was busLed for drlvlng
drunk. Pe had a blood alcohol level of 0.17 percenL (Lhe legal llmlL ls 0.08). uouglass was Lhe
counLy's uA8L offlcer, Leachlng Lhe chlldren Lhe evlls of lllegal drugs.
CuLcome: Þled gullLy.
ÞunlshmenL: Suspended 180-day senLence, slx monLhs probaLlon, 90 days suspended drlvers
llcense, $384.30 ln flnes and fees.
4 3 6 7 8 9
Crlme: A gang of slx cops ln vancouver, 8rlLlsh Columbla, plcked up Lhree men wlLh drug
records, drove Lhem Lo a remoLe locaLlon ln a park, and physlcally and verbally assaulLed Lhem.
CuLcome: All slx pled gullLy Lo assaulL.
ÞunlshmenLs: uuncan Cemmell: 60 days house arresL, 40 hours of communlLy servlce, slx
monLhs probaLlon. Cabrlel ko[lma: 30 days house arresL. ChrlsLopher Cronmlller: condlLlonal
dlscharge, slx monLhs probaLlon. 8aymond Cardner: 30 hours communlLy servlce, nlne monLhs
!ames kenney: absoluLe dlscharge wlLhouL condlLlons. 8randon SLeele: suspended senLence, 23
hours of communlLy servlce, slx monLhs probaLlon.
CommenL from Lhe [udge: ºlnsLead of a heaL-of-Lhe-momenL slLuaLlon lL became, ln my vlew, a
slLuaLlon of mob menLallLy."
Crlme: Sherlff's uepuLy Sean uavls ln uLah CounLy, uLah, molesLed Lwo eleven-year-old boys,
one of whom was an unspeclfled ºrelaLlve."
CuLcome: Þled gullLy Lo four charges of aLLempLed sodomy of a chlld.
ÞunlshmenL: Amazlngly, uavls asked for Lhe maxlmum penalLy, and, even more amazlngly, Lhe
[udge obllged: slx and half years Lo llfe.
CuoLes: Cfflclals were fllled wlLh pralse for Lhe lncesLuous chlld-raplsL. 1he presldlng [udge sald:
º1he LruLh of Lhe maLLer ls you've done an unbellevable amounL of good, and lL's a shame LhaL
we're here Loday." 1he uLah CounLy Sherlff enLhused: ºPe was a hard worker wlLh a good work
eLhlc. [Pls work] was much appreclaLed."
Crlme: new ?ork ClLy pollce SgL. Wllllam 1. Mlley drove drunk and slammed lnLo a sLopped car
aL a red llghL, kllllng Lwo men and ln[urlng Lhree oLher people. When oLher cops showed up aL
Lhe scene, accordlng Lo Lhe webslLe n? llnesL's new & vlews: ºPe pulled ouL a flsLful of $20
bllls and Lold cops, 'Þlease leL me go home. l'm a new ?ork ClLy pollce sergeanL. Þlease help
CuLcome: A Lrlal on charges of vehlcular manslaughLer resulLed ln a hung [ury. ln a laLer Lrlal,
Mlley was convlcLed of Lwo counLs of crlmlnally negllgenL homlclde and drlvlng under Lhe
ÞunlshmenL: Þrlson Lerm of one year and four monLhs Lo four years.
Crlme: Þollce offlcer uavld Mueller of new vlenna, Chlo, responded Lo a domesLlc vlolence call.
1he husband, 8oberL Cundlff, avolded belng handcuffed and supposedly made a move aL
Mueller. 1he pollceman hlL Cundlff on Lhe leg wlLh hls baLon, Lhen bashed hls head so hard LhaL
Lhe baLon benL. Mueller pulled ouL hls gun and shoL Cundlff ln Lhe face, kllllng hlm. LaLer, he
asked colleagues on Lhe force Lo desLroy hls orlglnal reporL on Lhe deadly lncldenL.
CuLcome: Þled gullLy Lo volunLary manslaughLer and evldence-Lamperlng, admlLLlng LhaL he
used ºexcesslve force."
ÞunlshmenL: Slx-year prlson senLence.
Crlme: Þollce offlcer Carland ?ancey of lyffe, Alabama, sexually abused four glrls under Lwelve
and a flfLh glrl who was Lwelve years old.
CuLcome: Þled gullLy Lo flve counLs of chlld molesLaLlon (Lwo counLs of enLlclng a chlld for
lmmoral purposes, Lhree counLs of flrsL-degree sexual abuse).
ÞunlshmenL: 1wo years ln a sLaLe prlson, flve years probaLlon.
Crlme: Cpl. !ohn 8. Mason, a Þennsylvanla SLaLe 1rooper, downloaded over 300 lmages and
several fllms of chlld pornography onLo a pollce compuLer and hls home compuLer.
CuLcome: ConvlcLed on 20 counLs of sexual abuse of chlldren and elghLeen counLs of crlmlnal
use of a communlcaLlons faclllLy.
ÞunlshmenL: SenLenced Lo nlne Lo elghLeen monLhs ln counLy [all, $2,000 flne.
noLe: lederal sLaLuLe dlcLaLes a mlnlmum of flve years ln prlson for each klddle porn offense,
and many courLs counL every lndlvldual lmage as a separaLe offense. Mason could've been
senLenced Lo over 2,300 years and, ln any case, should've been senLenced Lo no less Lhan flve
lncldenLs: 1he Þhlladelphla lnqulrer summarlzes Lhree alleged lncldenLs: ºkenslngLon resldenL
Mlchael Lugo ls dlsabled from a broken neck. 8uL LhaL dldn'L sLop a Þhlladelphla pollce offlcer,
he says, from roughlng hlm up, rldlcullng hlm for belng a 'crlpple,' and arresLlng hlm on false
charges. SchoolLeacher Angelo ul8arLolo's LhroaL was slashed ln a norLheasL Þhlladelphla bar
flghL lnvolvlng a bouncer. An offlcer helped Lhe bouncer-her boyfrlend-flee Lhe scene. uS
ueparLmenL of AgrlculLure lnspecLor Sukhwlnder uhlllon reporLed LhaL her car was rear-ended
by a pollce offlcer, who LhreaLened Lo arresL her and lled Lo lnvesLlgaLors."
CuLcome: ln each case, Lhe pollce deparLmenL's lnLernal Affalrs 8ureau concluded LhaL Lhe cops
had engaged ln Lhe abuses. 1hough each alleged lncldenL would appear Lo be a crlme, no
crlmlnal charges were ever flled.
ÞunlshmenLs: llve-day suspenslon, one-day suspenslon, elghLeen-day suspenslon
Law CuoLe # 4ºLaws are llke cobwebs-sLrong enough Lo caLch Lhe weak, buL lnsufflclenL Lo
hold Lhe sLrong."
+ leds and Spooks
23 1lps for lnLerrogaLlng a
Þrlsoner, lrom Lhe ClA
ln !anuary 1997, Lhe publlc flnally goL Lo see ºku8A8k CCun1L8ln1LLLlCLnCL
ln1L88CCA1lCn," Lhe ClA's 1963 manual for geLLlng lnformaLlon ouL of unwllllng prlsoners,
Lyplcally enemy agenLs. 1he 128-page lnsLrucLlon book opens wlLh Lhe llnes: º1hls manual
cannoL Leach anyone how Lo be, or become, a good lnLerrogaLor. AL besL lL can help readers
avold Lhe characLerlsLlc mlsLakes of a bad lnLerrogaLor." All quoLes-lncludlng Lhe names of
Lechnlques LhaL are ln quoLes-are Laken dlrecLly from Lhe declasslfled documenL.
º1he room ln whlch Lhe lnLerrogaLlon ls Lo be conducLed should be free of dlsLracLlons. 1he
colors of Lhe walls, celllng, rugs, and furnlLure should noL be sLarLllng. ÞlcLures should be
mlsslng or dull." A plaln Lable ls a good ldea, unless a fancy desk would send Lhe message LhaL
Lhe lnLerrogaLor ls a powerful auLhorlLy flgure.
ºAn oversLuffed chalr for Lhe use of Lhe lnLerrogaLee ls someLlme preferable Lo a sLralghL-
backed, wooden chalr because lf he ls made Lo sLand for a lengLhy perlod or ls oLherwlse
deprlved of physlcal comforL, Lhe conLrasL ls lnLenslfled and lncreased dlsorlenLaLlon resulLs."
1he ºdo noL dlsLurb" slgn
º1he effecL of someone wanderlng ln because he forgoL hls pen or wanLs Lo lnvlLe Lhe
lnLerrogaLor Lo lunch can be devasLaLlng."
LlsLenlng ln on Lhe lnLerrogaLlon
ºlf posslble, audlo equlpmenL should also be used Lo LransmlL Lhe proceedlngs Lo anoLher room,
used as a llsLenlng posL. 1he maln advanLage of Lransmlsslon ls LhaL lL enables Lhe person ln
charge of Lhe lnLerrogaLlon Lo noLe cruclal polnLs and map furLher sLraLegy, replaclng one
lnLerrogaLor wlLh anoLher, Llmlng a dramaLlc lnLerrupLlon correcLly, eLc."
º1he lnLerrogaLor who merely preLends, ln hls surface performance, Lo feel a glven emoLlon or
Lo hold a glven aLLlLude Loward Lhe source ls llkely Lo be unconvlnclng, Lhe source qulckly
senses Lhe decepLlon. Lven chlldren are very qulck Lo feel Lhls klnd of preLense. 1o be
persuaslve, Lhe sympaLhy or anger musL be genulne, buL Lo be useful, lL musL noL lnLerfere wlLh
Lhe deeper level of preclse, unaffecLed observaLlon."
ºlnLerrogaLlon sesslons wlLh a reslsLanL source who ls under deLenLlon should noL be held on an
unvarylng schedule. 1he capaclLy for reslsLance ls dlmlnlshed by dlsorlenLaLlon. 1he sub[ecL may
be lefL alone for days, and he may be reLurned Lo hls cell, allowed Lo sleep for flve mlnuLes, and
broughL back Lo an lnLerrogaLlon whlch ls conducLed as Lhough elghL hours had lnLervened. 1he
prlnclple ls LhaL sesslons should be so planned as Lo dlsrupL Lhe source's sense of chronologlcal
Also, lL's suggesLed LhaL you make everyLhlng ln Lhe sub[ecL's llfe, such as hls sleeplng and
eaLlng schedules, random and unpredlcLable.
1he ºnobody Loves ?ou" Lechnlque
ºAn lnLerrogaLee who ls wlLhholdlng lLems of no grave consequence Lo hlmself may someLlmes
be persuaded Lo Lalk by Lhe slmple LacLlc of polnLlng ouL LhaL Lo daLe all of Lhe lnformaLlon
abouL hls case has come from persons oLher Lhan hlmself. 1he lnLerrogaLor wanLs Lo be falr. Pe
recognlzes LhaL some of Lhe denouncers may have been blased or mallclous. ln any case, Lhere
ls bound Lo be some slanLlng of Lhe facLs unless Lhe lnLerrogaLee redresses Lhe balance. 1he
source owes lL Lo hlmself Lo be sure LhaL Lhe lnLerrogaLor hears boLh sldes of Lhe sLory."
1he ºAll-Seelng Lye (or Confesslon ls Cood for Lhe Soul)" Lechnlque
º1he lnLerrogaLor who already knows parL of Lhe sLory explalns Lo Lhe source LhaL Lhe purpose
of Lhe quesLlonlng ls noL Lo galn lnformaLlon, Lhe lnLerrogaLor knows everyLhlng already. Pls
real purpose ls Lo LesL Lhe slncerlLy (rellablllLy, honor, eLc.) of Lhe source. 1he lnLerrogaLor Lhen
asks a few quesLlons Lo whlch he knows Lhe answers. lf Lhe sub[ecL lles, he ls lnformed flrmly
and dlspasslonaLely LhaL he has lled. 8y skllled manlpulaLlon of Lhe known, Lhe quesLloner can
convlnce a nalve sub[ecL LhaL all hls secreLs are ouL and LhaL furLher reslsLance would be noL
only polnLless buL dangerous."
1he double-lnformanL Lechnlque
1he manual noLes LhaL planLlng a snlLch ln Lhe sub[ecL's cell ls a ruse so obvlous as Lo be useless.
ºLess well known ls Lhe Lrlck of planLlng Lwo lnformanLs ln Lhe cell. Cne of Lhem, A, Lrles now
and Lhen Lo pry a llLLle lnformaLlon from Lhe source, 8 remalns quleL. AL Lhe proper Llme, and
durlng A's absence, 8 warns Lhe source noL Lo Lell A anyLhlng because 8 suspecLs hlm of belng
an lnformanL planLed by Lhe auLhorlLles. Susplclon agalnsL a slngle cellmaLe may someLlmes be
broken down lf he shows Lhe source a hldden mlcrophone LhaL he has 'found' and suggesLs LhaL
Lhey Lalk only ln whlspers aL Lhe oLher end of Lhe room."
1he ºnews from Pome" Lechnlque
LeLLlng Lhe sub[ecL geL some leLLers from Lhe ouLslde ls a good way Lo galn LrusL and lncrease
hls longlng Lo cooperaLe and, Lhus, geL released. Conversely, leLLlng hlm wrlLe leLLers can be
proflLable, slnce Lhey can be read for useful lnformaLlon.
Þlaylng Lwo sub[ecLs agalnsL each oLher
lf you have Lwo suspecLs who are suspecLed of operaLlng LogeLher, preLend LhaL one ls
squeallng on Lhe oLher. CreaLlvely edlL audloLape of your lnLerrogaLlons of Lhe flrsL one. uocLor
up a phony ºslgned" confesslon.
1he ºlvan ls a uope" Lechnlque
ºlL may be useful Lo polnL ouL Lo a hosLlle agenL LhaL Lhe cover sLory was lll-conLrlved, LhaL Lhe
oLher [lnLelllgence] servlce boLched Lhe [ob, LhaL lL ls Lyplcal of Lhe oLher servlce Lo lgnore Lhe
welfare of lLs agenLs. 1he lnLerrogaLor may personallze Lhls plLch by explalnlng LhaL he has been
lmpressed by Lhe agenL's courage and lnLelllgence. Pe sells Lhe agenL Lhe ldea LhaL Lhe
lnLerrogaLor, noL hls old servlce, represenLs a Lrue frlend, who undersLands hlm and wlll look
afLer hls welfare."
1he good-cop/bad-cop rouLlne
ln Lhls age-old Lechnlque, one lnLerrogaLor preLends Lo be an angry SC8 who ls resLralnlng
hlmself from geLLlng medleval on Lhe sub[ecL. 1he oLher lnLerrogaLor preLends Lo be nlce and
reasonable, esLabllshlng false LrusL. 1he manual noLes: º1hls rouLlne works besL wlLh women,
Leenagers, and Llmld men."
ºlf Lhe recalclLranL sub[ecL speaks more Lhan one language, lL ls beLLer Lo quesLlon hlm ln Lhe
Longue wlLh whlch he ls leasL famlllar as long as Lhe purpose of lnLerrogaLlon ls Lo obLaln a
confesslon. AfLer Lhe lnLerrogaLee admlLs hosLlle lnLenL or acLlvlLy, a swlLch Lo Lhe beLLer-known
language wlll faclllLaLe follow-up. An abrupL swlLch of languages may Lrlck a reslsLanL source. lf
an lnLerrogaLee has wlLhsLood a barrage of quesLlons ln Cerman or korean, for example, a
sudden shlfL Lo 'Who ls your case offlcer?' ln 8usslan may Lrlgger Lhe answer before Lhe source
can sLop hlmself."
1he ºSplnoza and Mor Llmer Snerd" Lechnlque
llrsL you ask Lhe sub[ecL quesLlons abouL Lhe hlgh-level operaLlons of hls agency, quesLlons LhaL
he ls Lruly unable Lo answer. ºPls complalnLs LhaL he knows noLhlng of such maLLers are meL by
flaL lnslsLence LhaL he does know, he would have Lo know, LhaL even Lhe mosL sLupld men ln hls
poslLlon know." Suddenly, Lhe lnLerrogaLor swlLches Lo quesLlons abouL low-level lnformaLlon,
whlch Lhe sub[ecL does know and may reveal. An Amerlcan ÞCW who was Lhe vlcLlm of Lhls
LacLlc laLer sald: ºl know lL seems sLrange now, buL l was poslLlvely graLeful Lo Lhem when Lhey
swlLched Lo a Loplc l knew someLhlng abouL."
1he ºWolf ln Sheep's CloLhlng" Lechnlque
ln Lhls rlsky maneuver, a ClA decoy preLends Lo be a represenLaLlve of an enemy agency, Lhe
same agency LhaL employs Lhe sap belng lnLerrogaLed. 1hlnklng he's belng debrlefed by hls slde,
he spllls hls guLs.?
1he ºAllce ln Wonderland" Lechnlque
Slmply puL: Mess wlLh Lhe sub[ecL's head. ?ou aLLempL ºnoL only Lo obllLeraLe Lhe famlllar buL
Lo replace lL wlLh Lhe welrd. AlLhough Lhls meLhod can be employed by a slngle lnLerrogaLor, lL
ls beLLer adapLed Lo use by Lwo or Lhree. When Lhe sub[ecL enLers Lhe room, Lhe flrsL
lnLerrogaLor asks a doubleLalk quesLlon-one whlch seems sLralghLforward buL ls essenLlally
nonsenslcal. WheLher Lhe lnLerrogaLee Lrles Lo answer or noL, Lhe second lnLerrogaLor follows
up (lnLerrupLlng any aLLempLed response) wlLh a wholly unrelaLed and equally llloglcal query.
SomeLlmes Lwo or more quesLlons are asked slmulLaneously. ÞlLch, Lone, and volume of Lhe
lnLerrogaLors' volces are unrelaLed Lo Lhe lmporL of Lhe quesLlons. no paLLern of quesLlons and
answers ls permlLLed Lo develop, nor do Lhe quesLlons Lhemselves relaLe loglcally Lo each oLher.
ln Lhls sLrange aLmosphere Lhe sub[ecL flnds LhaL Lhe paLLern of speech and LhoughL whlch he
has learned Lo conslder normal have been replaced by an eerle meanlnglessness. 1he
lnLerrogaLee may sLarL laughlng or refuse Lo Lake Lhe slLuaLlon serlously. 8uL as Lhe process
conLlnues, day afLer day lf necessary, Lhe sub[ecL beglns Lo Lry Lo make sense of Lhe slLuaLlon,
whlch becomes menLally lnLolerable. now he ls llkely Lo make slgnlflcanL admlsslons, or even Lo
pour ouL hls sLory, [usL Lo sLop Lhe flow of babble whlch assalls hlm."
1he ºÞlacebo" Lechnlque
Make Lhe sub[ecL Lake a sugar plll, Lhen Lell hlm lL was a LruLh serum. lf he's consclously or
subconsclously looklng for an excuse Lo cooperaLe, he'll Lell all.
1ake away hls cloLhes
CloLhes provlde a sense of ldenLlLy, so geL hlm lnLo unfamlllar garb as soon as posslble ºlf Lhe
lnLerrogaLee ls especlally proud or neaL, lL may be useful Lo glve hlm an ouLflL LhaL ls one or Lwo
slzes Loo large and Lo fall Lo provlde a belL, so LhaL he musL hold hls panLs up."
º1he more compleLely Lhe place of conflnemenL ellmlnaLes sensory sLlmull, Lhe more rapldly
and deeply wlll Lhe lnLerrogaLee be affecLed. 8esulLs produced only afLer weeks or monLhs of
lmprlsonmenL ln an ordlnary cell can be dupllcaLed ln hours or days ln a cell whlch has no llghL
(or weak arLlflclal llghL whlch never varles), whlch ls sound-proofed, ln whlch odors are
ellmlnaLed, eLc. An envlronmenL sLlll more sub[ecL Lo conLrol, such as [a] waLer-Lank or lron
lung, ls even more effecLlve."
º1hreaLs and lear"
º1he LhreaL of coerclon usually weakens or desLroys reslsLance more effecLlvely Lhan coerclon
lLself. 1he LhreaL Lo lnfllcL paln, for example, can Lrlgger fears more damaglng Lhan Lhe
lmmedlaLe sensaLlon of paln. ln facL, mosL people underesLlmaLe Lhelr capaclLy Lo wlLhsLand
paln. 1he same prlnclple holds for oLher fears: susLalned long enough, a sLrong fear of anyLhlng
vague or unknown lnduces regresslon, whereas Lhe maLerlallzaLlon of Lhe fear, Lhe lnfllcLlon of
some form of punlshmenL, ls llkely Lo come as a rellef. 1he sub[ecL flnds LhaL he can hold ouL,
and hls reslsLances are sLrengLhened..
º1hreaLs dellvered coldly are more effecLlve Lhan Lhose shouLed ln rage."
Powever, Lhe lnLerrogaLor should never LhreaLen deaLh:
1he LhreaL of deaLh has ofLen been found Lo be worse Lhan useless. lL ºhas Lhe hlghesL
poslLlon ln law as a defense, buL ln many lnLerrogaLlon slLuaLlons lL ls a hlghly lneffecLlve
LhreaL. Many prlsoners, ln facL, have refused Lo yleld ln Lhe face of such LhreaLs who have
subsequenLly been 'broken' by oLher procedures" [ A SLudy for uevelopmenL of lmproved
lnLerrogaLlon 1echnlques , AlberL u. 8lderman]. 1he prlnclpal reason ls LhaL Lhe ulLlmaLe
LhreaL ls llkely Lo lnduce sheer hopelessness lf Lhe lnLerrogaLee does noL belleve LhaL lL ls a
Lrlck, he feels LhaL he ls as llkely Lo be condemned afLer compllance as before. 1he LhreaL of
deaLh ls also lneffecLlve when used agalnsL hard-headed Lypes who reallze LhaL sllenclng
Lhem forever would defeaL Lhe lnLerrogaLor's purpose. lf Lhe LhreaL ls recognlzed as a bluff,
lL wlll noL only fall buL also pave Lhe way Lo fallure for laLer coerclve ruses used by Lhe
1he ClA menLlons anclenL Lechnlques of physlcally weakenlng people: ºprolonged consLralnL,
prolonged exerLlon, exLremes of heaL, cold, or molsLure, and deprlvaLlon or drasLlc reducLlon of
food or sleep." lL doesn'L, however, recommend Lhese approaches, slnce ºexperlence" shows
LhaL Lhey're preLLy lneffecLlve. ln facL, Lhe Agency says LhaL you'll probably have beLLer luck wlLh
LhreaLenlng Lo do Lhese Lhlngs, raLher Lhan acLually dolng Lhem.
1he manual's secLlon on paln (l.e., physlcal LorLure) argues agalnsL lL on many grounds:
lnLerrogaLees who are wlLhholdlng buL who feel qualms of gullL and a secreL deslre Lo yleld
are llkely Lo become lnLracLable lf made Lo endure paln. 1he reason ls LhaL Lhey can Lhen
lnLerpreL Lhe paln as punlshmenL and hence as explaLlon. 1here are also persons who en[oy
paln and lLs anLlclpaLlon and who wlll keep back lnformaLlon LhaL Lhey mlghL oLherwlse
dlvulge lf Lhey are glven reason Lo expecL LhaL wlLhholdlng wlll resulL ln Lhe punlshmenL
LhaL Lhey wanL. Þersons of conslderable moral or lnLellecLual sLaLure ofLen flnd ln paln
lnfllcLed by oLhers a conflrmaLlon of Lhe bellef LhaL Lhey are ln Lhe hands of lnferlors, and
Lhelr resolve noL Lo submlL ls sLrengLhened. lnLense paln ls qulLe llkely Lo produce false
confesslons, concocLed as a means of escaplng from dlsLress.
1he ClA heavlly quallfles lLs recommendaLlon of hypnosls, buL aL Lhe rlghL Llme and ln Lhe hands
of a pro, lL can be employed. ºlor example, a ku8A8k [ClA] lnLerrogaLor could Lell a suspecL
double agenL ln Lrance LhaL Lhe kC8 ls conducLlng Lhe quesLlonlng, and Lhus lnverL Lhe whole
frame of reference.. 1he value of hypnoLlc Lrance ls noL LhaL lL permlLs Lhe lnLerrogaLor Lo
lmpose hls wlll buL raLher LhaL lL can be used Lo convlnce Lhe lnLerrogaLee LhaL Lhere ls no valld
reason noL Lo be forLhcomlng."
º1he effecL of mosL drugs depends more upon Lhe personallLy of Lhe sub[ecL Lhan upon Lhe
physlcal characLerlsLlcs of Lhe drugs Lhemselves. lf Lhe approval of PeadquarLers has been
obLalned and lf a docLor ls aL hand for admlnlsLraLlon, one of Lhe mosL lmporLanL of Lhe
lnLerrogaLor's funcLlons ls provldlng Lhe docLor wlLh a full and accuraLe descrlpLlon of Lhe
psychologlcal make-up of Lhe lnLerrogaLee, Lo faclllLaLe Lhe besL posslble cholce of a drug."
º1hls dlscusslon does noL lnclude a llsL of drugs LhaL have been employed for lnLerrogaLlon
purposes or a dlscusslon of Lhelr properLles because Lhese are medlcal conslderaLlons wlLhln
Lhe provlnce of a docLor raLher Lhan an lnLerogaLor [slc]."
LlS1 22 7 ClA ÞloLs Lo klll CasLro
ln May 1967, Lhe CenLral lnLelllgence Agency's lnspecLor Ceneral lssued º8eporL on ÞloLs Lo
AssasslnaLe lldel CasLro," a deLalled rundown of Lhe ClA's aLLempLs Lo klll Cuba's leader. Plghly
classlfled, lL wasn'L released Lo Lhe publlc unLll 1993. All quoLes below are Laken dlrecLly from
Lhls offlclal reporL.
Accordlng Lo Lhe reporL, Lhere was ºdlscusslon of a scheme Lo conLamlnaLe Lhe alr of Lhe radlo
sLaLlon where CasLro broadcasLs hls speeches wlLh an aerosol spray of a chemlcal LhaL produces
reacLlons slmllar Lo Lhose of lyserglc acld (LSu)." 1he ldea apparenLly was Lo geL Ll ÞresldenLe Lo
sound llke a drug-addled flake on Lhe alr. ºnoLhlng came of Lhe ldea. [redacLed] sald he had
dlscouraged Lhe scheme, because Lhe chemlcal could noL be relled upon Lo be effecLlve."
A baLch of clgars was cooked up wlLh Lhe lnLenLlon of glvlng Lhem Lo CasLro. 1he effecLs LhaL
Lhe clgars were supposed Lo have ls hazy. LlLher Lhey were LreaLed wlLh a chemlcal LhaL would
make hlm dlsorlenLed, Lhus causlng hlm Lo acL sLrangely ln publlc, or Lhey were LreaLed wlLh a
depllaLory Lo make hls beard fall ouL, deallng a blow Lo Lhe machlsmo of Lhe now smooLh-faced
glrlyman. 1he ploL never goL farLher Lhan LhaL, and Lhe sLogles were desLroyed.
Slmllarly, Lhe Agency brewed ºa scheme lnvolvlng Lhalllum salLs, a chemlcal used by women as
a depllaLory-Lhe LhoughL belng Lo desLroy CasLro's lmage as '1he 8eard' by causlng Lhe beard
Lo fall ouL.. 1he ldea was Lo dusL Lhalllum powder lnLo CasLro's shoes when Lhey were puL ouL
aL nlghL Lo be shlned. 1he scheme progressed as far as procurlng Lhe chemlcal and LesLlng lL on
anlmals." CasLro's shoes were Lo be splked durlng a speclflc Lrlp ouLslde of Cuba, buL Lhe Lrlp
dldn'L happen and Lhe ploL fell Lhrough.
ln Lhe mosL elaboraLe, flrm plan for assasslnaLlon, a ClA agenL-under orders from hls
superlors-offered mobsLers ln Cuba $130,000 Lo whack CasLro. 1he spook, of course, dldn'L
reveal hls Lrue afflllaLlon, lnsLead clalmlng Lo represenL buslnessmen who saw Lhe dlcLaLor as an
lmpedlmenL. As for Lhe acLual mechanlsm of deaLh, ºfour posslble approaches were
consldered: (1) someLhlng hlghly Loxlc, such as shellflsh polson Lo be admlnlsLered wlLh a pln
(whlch 8oosevelL sald was whaL was supplled Lo Cary Þowers), (2) bacLerlal maLerlal ln llquld
form, (3) bacLerlal LreaLmenL of a clgareLLe or clgar, and (4) a handkerchlef LreaLed wlLh
bacLerla." 1he focus was puL on opLlon Lwo, wlLh Lhe ldea belng Lo dump Lhe leLhal llquld lnLo
CasLro's drlnk or soup. Meanwhlle, Lhe ClA's 1echnlcal Servlces ulvlslon laced a box of Cuban
clgars wlLh boLullsm. º1he clgars were so heavlly conLamlnaLed LhaL merely puLLlng one ln Lhe
mouLh would do Lhe [ob, Lhe lnLended vlcLlm would noL acLually have Lo smoke lL." ln Lhe end,
however, Lhe polson Look Lhe form of ºsmall pllls" conLalnlng boLullsm. 1he LableLs were LesLed
on monkeys, who keeled over.
ln lebruary-March 1961, Lhe pllls made Lhelr way from Lhe ClA Lo Lhe Mafla Lo a dlsaffecLed
Cuban offlclal close Lo CasLro, !uan CrLa, head of Lhe Þrlme MlnlsLer's Cfflce. 8uL CrLa losL hls
[ob around LhaL Llme-apparenLly for sklmmlng gambllng proflLs-and couldn'L dellver Lhe
polson. CrLa suggesLed someone else for Lhe [ob, who reporLedly Lrled a few Llmes buL falled.
1he ClA Lhen approached a promlnenL Cuban exlle, who was seL Lo do Lhe [ob for $10,000 or
$20,000. lor reasons LhaL remaln unclear, Lhe Agency canceled Lhe operaLlon.
8y Aprll 1962, Lhe plan was back ln full effecL. More polson pllls were glven Lo varona, who
Lhen requesLed (and was glven) addlLlonal equlpmenL LhaL he clalmed Lo need for Lhe
operaLlon: ºexploslves, deLonaLors, LwenLy .30 callber rlfles, LwenLy .43 callber hand guns, Lwo
radlos, and one boaL radar." ln !une, varona senL a Lhree-man squad Lo Cuba. º1hey were Lo
recrulL oLhers who mlghL be used ln such a scheme. lf an opporLunlLy Lo klll CasLro presenLed
lLself, Lhey or Lhe persons Lhey recrulLed were Lo make Lhe aLLempL-perhaps uslng Lhe pllls."
8y lebruary of Lhe nexL year, lL was apparenL LhaL Lhe operaLlon was golng nowhere, so lL was
Þolson dlvlng sulL
º1he Lechnlque lnvolved dusLlng Lhe lnslde of Lhe sulL wlLh a fungus LhaL would produce a
dlsabllng and chronlc skln dlsease (Madura fooL) and conLamlnaLlng Lhe breaLhlng apparaLus
wlLh Lubercle bacllll." 1he sulL was never glven Lo CasLro, alLhough ºLhls scheme progressed Lo
Lhe polnL of acLually buylng a dlvlng sulL and readylng lL for dellvery."
1he ldea was Lo Lake an unusually specLacular sea shell LhaL would be cerLaln Lo caLch
CasLro's eye, load lL wlLh an exploslve Lrlggered Lo blow when Lhe shell was llfLed, and
submerge lL ln an area where CasLro ofLen wenL skln dlvlng.. 1he scheme was soon found Lo
be lmpracLlcable. none of Lhe shells LhaL mlghL concelvably be found ln Lhe Carlbbean area
was boLh specLacular enough Lo be sure of aLLracLlng aLLenLlon and large enough Lo hold Lhe
needed volume of exploslve. 1he mldgeL submarlne LhaL would have had Lo be used ln
emplacemenL of Lhe shell has Loo shorL an operaLlng range for such an operaLlon.
ln March 1961, Lhe Agency approached 8olando Cubela, Cuba's dlsaffecLed MlllLary ALLache Lo
Spaln, abouL lclng CasLro. 8y november 1963, Cubela was ready Lo do Lhe deed and asked Lhe
ClA Lo supply hlm wlLh Lhe means. ºWhaL Lhey seLLled upon was 8lack Leaf 40, a common,
easlly-obLalnable lnsecLlclde conLalnlng abouL 40° nlcoLlne sulphaLe. nlcoLlne ls a deadly
polson LhaL may be admlnlsLered orally, by ln[ecLlon, or by absorpLlon Lhrough Lhe skln."
1he ClA declded noL glve Cubela Lhe polson, Lelllng hlm Lo obLaln lL hlmself, buL Lhey dld hand
hlm Lhe meLhod of dellvery: ºa ballpolnL pen rlgged as a hypodermlc syrlnge" LhaL Lhe ClA's ur.
Cunn creaLed overnlghL.
ºPe sald LhaL Lhe needle was so flne LhaL Lhe vlcLlm would hardly feel lL when lL was
lnserLed-he compared lL wlLh Lhe scraLch from a shlrL wlLh Loo much sLarch." Cn Lhe 21sL, aL
Lhe exacL momenL LhaL ÞresldenL kennedy was belng assasslnaLed, a ClA agenL was glvlng
Cubela Lhe pen-needle Lo klll CasLro. Cubelo dlcked around for a year and a half, flnally, ClA
headquarLers puL ouL Lhe word Lo sLop all assoclaLlon wlLh hlm ln !une 1963. Pls ClA supporL
had become Loo well known.
1hls ls Lhe lasL reporLed aLLempL Lo puL CasLro's llghLs ouL.
Classlfled CuoLe #1 ºA loL of documenLs are classlfled for Lhe wrong reason-because
Lhey're embarrasslng, or perhaps because of a coverup."-SenaLor 8lchard Shelby (8epubllcan -
Alabama), former Chalr of Lhe SenaLe lnLelllgence CommlLLee
LlS1 23 34 ClA CrypLonyms
1he ClA uses crypLonyms (code names) exLenslvely ln lLs communlcaLlons and oLher lnLernal
documenLs. Cver Lhe years, many of Lhem have been decoded.
LrnesLo ºChe" Cuevara
8ussla or a 8usslan
a mlllLary base
Lee Parvey Cswald
Camp Þeary, Lhe ClA's spook-Lralnlng school near Wllllamsburg vlrglnla.
CenLral lnLelllgence Agency
ClA Cfflce of CommunlcaLlons
Cfflce of Lhe ulrecLor of CenLral lnLelllgence
Þolygraph, or posslbly LruLh serum
ueparLmenL of uefense
lederal 8ureau of lnvesLlgaLlon (l8l)
uS Alr lorce
unlLed SLaLes lnformaLlon Agency
lranklln uelano 8oosevelL
ClA sLaLlon ln CuaLemala
3 ueslgnaLlons of lmporLance
used by Lhe ClA
lnLelllgence-relaLed communlcaLlons from ClA agenLs and sLaLlons Lo ClA headquarLers are
labeled wlLh a word LhaL lndlcaLes Lhe urgency of Lhe message. ln descendlng order of urgency,
LlS1 23 10 ClA lronL Companles
1. ClbralLar SLeamshlp Company
used Lo cover acLlvlLles relaLed Lo Lhe 8ay of Þlgs lnvaslon.
2. Alr Amerlca
Supposedly a clvlllan alr servlce whose planes were allowed Lo buzz all over SouLheasL Asla
durlng Lhe vleLnam War, Lhls was a huge ClA operaLlon LhaL shuLLled spooks, mlllLary brass,
arms, drugs, and oLher people and conLraband.
3. 8rewsLer !ennlngs & AssoclaLes
ClA operaLlve valerle Þlame-whose cover was blown by Lwo senlor 8ush AdmlnlsLraLlon
offlclals and conservaLlve columnlsL 8oberL novak-llsLed Lhls nonexlsLenL company on a publlc
form. lLs address ls supposedly 101 Arch SLreeL, 8osLon, MassachuseLLs, even Lhough Lhe offlce
Lower Lhere has no such LenanL. 1he 8osLon Clobe reporLs:A spokeswoman for uun &
8radsLreeL lnc., a new !ersey operaLor of commerclal daLabases, sald 8rewsLer !ennlngs was
flrsL enLered lnLo lLs records on May 22, 1994, buL wouldn'L dlscuss Lhe source of Lhe flllng.
lLs records llsL Lhe company aL 101 Arch SL. as a ºlegal servlces offlce," whlch could mean a
law flrm, wlLh annual sales of $60,000, one employee, and a chlef execuLlve ldenLlfled as
ºvlcLor 8rewsLer, ÞarLner." 1haL person lsn'L llsLed elsewhere.
4. Aroundworld Shlpplng, lnc.
1hls and Lhe followlng companles were creaLed for gun-runnlng by Ldwln Wllson, a former ClA
offlcer who supposedly was klcked ouL of Lhe Agency and Lhen supplled arms Lo Llbya.
3. ConsulLanLs lnLernaLlonal, lnc.
6. uelex lnLernaLlonal CorporaLlons
7. LgypLlan-Amerlcan 1ransporL Servlce Company
8. lnLer-1echnology, lnc.
9. SclenLlflc CommunlcaLlons, lnc.
10. SysLems Servlces lnLernaLlonal
noLe: Some leglLlmaLe companles may also be uslng Lhese names, so don'L assume LhaL any
company wlLh one of Lhe names ls a spook operaLlon.
LlS1 26 111 Þeople Who Are Lhe
Sub[ecLs of l8l llles
1. 8ud AbboL
Accordlng Lo a snlLch for Lhe Los Angeles Þollce ueparLmenL, funnyman 8ud AbboL ºls a
collecLor of pornography and allegedly has 1,300 reels of obscene moLlon plcLures whlch he
shows ln hls home where he has a pro[ecLor of hls own."
2. Cracle Allen
Comedlan Cracle Allen and her frlend Mary LlvlngsLon were sald Lo have smuggled cloLhes and
[ewelry lnLo Lhe uS wlLhouL paylng duLy Lax. 1helr husbands-Ceorge 8urns and !ack 8enny
(respecLlvely) ended up paylng flnes.
3. uesl Arnaz
1he feds wanLed Lo make sure LhaL Arnaz wasn'L a Cuban commle, and Lhey kepL Labs on some
of hls 1v producLlons. ln an ass-klsslng leLLer ln 1939, Arnaz says LhaL he's conslderlng buylng a
scrlpL called 1he l8l SLory and asks l8l ulrecLor !. Ldgar Poover, ºwould Lhere be any ob[ecLlon
on your parL?" Arnaz curLsles: ºCne can never be sure as Lo Lhe Lype of organlzaLlon LhaL would
buy Lhls properLy and develop lL lnLo a serles wlLhouL Laklng lnLo accounL Lhe requlremenLs and
lnLeresLs of your deparLmenL."
4. !osephlne 8aker
1he legendary banana-dancer was lnvesLlgaLed on susplclon of belng a commle.
3. !ames 8aldwln
6. Lucllle 8all
ºCh, Lucy, you goL some 'splalnlng Lo do abouL reglsLerlng Lo voLe as a CommunlsL!" ºWah,
8lcky, l only dld lL because my granddad made me!" uesplLe Lhls explanaLlon, Lhe l8l clalmed
LhaL 8all also donaLed Lo Lhe CommunlsL ÞarLy.
7. Parry 8elafonLe
8 Lennle 8ruce
9. !ames Cagney
10. 1ruman CapoLe
11. 8llly CarLer
12. WllL Chamberlaln
1he flle of WllL º1he SLllL" conLalns numerous allegaLlons LhaL he beL on and agalnsL hls Leam,
Lhe Þhlladelphla 76ers, beLween 1966 and 1969, perhaps even shavlng polnLs. lndlcaLlons are
Lhe l8l never launched a formal lnvesLlgaLlon, and no charges were ever broughL.
13. Charlle Chaplln
1he LlLLle 1ramp spoke glowlngly of communlsm and Lhe SovleL unlon. 1hls, plus Lhe
progresslve Lhemes of hls fllms and hls fondness for [allbalL, led Lhe l8l Lo lnLensely survell Lhe
sllenL-movle acLor. 1hey also worked wlLh uS ALLorney Charles Carr Lo nall Chaplln for
LransporLlng a 23-year-old woman Lo new ?ork for ºlmmoral" purposes, buL he beaL Lhe rap.
14. naL klng Cole
13. Cary Cooper
16. noel Coward
17. 8lng Crosby
1he l8l's maln lnLeresL ln Lhe crooner was for hls assoclaLlon wlLh mobsLers, whlch was
baslcally deemed soclal and lnconsequenLlal.
18. L.L. Cummlngs
19. Sammy uavls, !r.
Poover wanLed lnfo on Lhe Candy Man's alleged mob Lles, hls marrlage Lo a whlLe woman, and
hls lnvolvemenL wlLh clvll rlghLs. lL's hard Lo say whlch Poover LhoughL was worsL.
20. !ohn uenver
1he folksy slnger's flle conLalns LanLallzlng buL mosLly redacLed references Lo La Cosa nosLra.
21. Marlene uleLrlch
1he 8erlln-born movle ldol was rumored Lo be secreLly aldlng Lhe nazls, so Poover launched an
lnvesLlgaLlon LhaL lncluded openlng her mall and Lapplng her phone. 1he Agency dug up her
lesblan affalrs buL noLhlng lndlcaLlng a Lle Lo Lhe 1hlrd 8elch.
22. !oe ulMagglo
23. WalL ulsney
1he now-defuncL webslLe AÞ8news wrlLes:1here has been much speculaLlon on [usL whaL
ulsney's l8l flle means. A 1993 book by celebrlLy blographer Marc LlloL clalmed ulsney was
an lnformanL for Lhe bureau, and, ln reLurn, agenLs helped search for hls blologlcal moLher.
1he new ?ork 1lmes conflrmed some of Lhls, Lhough oLher arLlcles condemned LlloL's book
and hls concluslons. uld Lhe l8l use ulsney ln any acLlve lnvesLlgaLlons? Was he feedlng Lhe
bureau secreLs on Pollywood subverslves? 1hese flles show ulsney was very close Lo Lhe l8l
and on aL leasL one occaslon changed movle scrlpLs Lo appease Lhe bureau. ºMr. ulsney has
volunLeered represenLaLlves of Lhls offlce compleLe access Lo Lhe faclllLles of ulsneyland for
use ln connecLlon wlLh offlclal maLLers and for recreaLlonal purposes," sLaLes one memo.
Several heavlly redacLed flles show Lhe l8l was monlLorlng prospecLlve ulsney employees
wlLh Lhe sLudlo's consenL.
24. !ean ulxon
Among oLher Lhlngs, Lhe Lablold psychlc's flle reveals LhaL from 1966 Lo 1968, she was a
ºmouLhplece for Lhe l8l." AL her requesL, Lhe agency fed her lnformaLlon (dlslnformaLlon?)
abouL Lhe new LefL, whlch she Lhen worked lnLo lnLervlews and arLlcles, clalmlng, for example,
LhaL Lhe SovleL unlon was behlnd sLudenL proLesLs.
23. W.L.8. uu 8ols
26. !lmmy uuranLe
27. AlberL LlnsLeln
Accordlng Lo Lhe l8l: ºLlnsLeln was a member, sponsor, or afflllaLed wlLh LhlrLy-four communlsL
fronLs beLween 1937-1934. Pe also served as honorary chalrman for Lhree communlsL
28. Panns Llsler
29. Ldward ºuuke" LlllngLon
30. Medgar Lvers
31. uouglas lalrbanks, !r.
32. Wllllam laulkner
33. Llla llLzgerald
34. lan llemlng
33. Lrrol llynn
1he swashbuckllng acLor goL on Lhe l8l's radar for supposed communlsL sympaLhles and for
Lwo sex-relaLed courL cases one clalmlng LhaL llynn bolnked Lwo 13-year-old glrls and Lhe oLher
charglng LhaL he plmped a woman he broughL lnLo Lhe counLry from Mexlco. Pe was found noL
gullLy on all counLs.
36. Penry lord
37. Lrlc lromm
38. Clark Cable
39. Marcus Carvey
40. Allen Clnsberg
1he 8eaL poeL's flle ls over 900 pages, and LhaL's [usL for sLarLers. ln Allen lnk: 1he l8l's War on
lreedom of Lxpresslon, naLalle 8oblns wrlLes: ºClnsberg noL only has an l8l flle, buL a record aL
flfLeen oLher agencles, lncludlng Lhe ClA, uefense ueparLmenL, Lhe uS ÞosLal Servlce, Lhe
1reasury ueparLmenL, and Lhe urug LnforcemenL Agency."
41. Woody CuLhrle
42. LrnesL Pemlngway
lor a llLLle whlle, Þapa was an l8l operaLlve, reporLlng on Spanlsh lasclsLs ln Pavana and
looklng for Cerman submarlnes off Lhe Cuban coasL.
43. !lml Pendrlx
44. Abble Poffman
1he radlcal's radlcal, Poffman ls Lhe sub[ecL of an l8l flle over 13,200 pages long.
43. 8lllle Polllday
46. Lena Porne
47. L. 8on Pubbard
48. 8ock Pudson
49. Poward Pughes
30. LangsLon Pughes
31. Aldous Puxley
32. Pelen keller
1here's no word on why keller has a flle, buL lL undoubLedly lncludes her effuslve pralse of Lhe
newly formed SovleL unlon and lLs leader, Lenln.
33. Cene kelly
34. !oseph Þ. kennedy
33. MarLln LuLher klng, !r.
36. Alfred klnsey
klnsey's earLh-shaLLerlng reporL Sexual 8ehavlor of Lhe Puman Male upseL Lhe prudes aL Lhe
l8l, as dld Lhe sexologlsL's accepLance of homosexuallLy. 1hey kepL Labs on klnsey and hls
lnsLlLuLe for Lhe SLudy of Puman SexuallLy, Lhough noLhlng came of lL.
37. Þaul krassner
upon recelvlng hls l8l flle, Þaul krassner dlscovered LhaL Lhe 8ureau was behlnd a polson-pen
leLLer senL Lo Llfe magazlne, calllng Lhe counLerculLure LrlcksLer ºa ravlng, unconflned nuL." 1hls
phrase became Lhe LlLle of krassner's auLoblography.
38. 8ay kroc
39. veronlca Lake
60. 8urL LancasLer
Manly man 8urL LancasLer lgnlLed Lhe l8l's wraLh by speaklng ouL agalnsL Lhe Pouse un-
Amerlcan AcLlvlLles CommlLLee and worklng wlLh blackllsLed movle flgures. When he needed a
passporL Lo lrance Lo work on hls fllm 1rapeze, Lhe SLaLe ueparLmenL refused unLll he senL
Lhem an affldavlL pralslng Lhe PuAC and declarlng he would raL ouL anyone wlLh communlsL
sympaLhles.1he flle also says LhaL LancasLer and oLher celebrlLles aLLended a gay parLy wlLh 230
Marlnes. 1hls rumor was Laken so serlously LhaL Lhe Cfflce of naval lnLelllgence ralded Lhe
manslon where Lhe glanL orgy supposedly Look place.
61. AnLon Lavey
62. !ohn Lennon
63. Slnclalr Lewls
64. Cuy Lombardo
63. !ack London
66. 1homas Mann
67. Mlckey ManLle
Among oLher Lhlngs, Lhe l8l's flle on ManLle looks aL hls alleged Lles Lo professlonal gamblers.
68. 8ob Marley
69. 8llly MarLln
70. uean MarLln
As wlLh Lhe resL of Lhe 8aL Þack, Lhe l8l waLched ulno's lnLeracLlons wlLh mobsLers, 1eamsLers,
71. 1he Marx 8roLhers
1he Marx 8roLhers-Croucho, Parpo, Zeppo, and Chlco are each Lhe sub[ecL of an l8l flle. A
llberal, Croucho was lnvesLlgaLed Lo see lf he had commle afflllaLlons, buL desplLe hls lasL name
he was no follower of karl. Pls comedy was monlLored, however, because he occaslonally was
crlLlcal of Lhe unlLed SLaLes (whlch, accordlng Lo hls flle, he once referred Lo as ºLhe unlLed
72. Carson McCullers
73. Marshall McLuhan
74. SLeve McCueen
73. ArLhur Mlller
76. 1helonlous Monk
77. Marllyn Monroe
ln descrlblng Monroe's flle, AÞ8news lmplles Lhe C-Men's hard-on for Lhe archeLypal blonde
bombshell: º1he l8l collecLed lnLelllgence on all aspecLs of Lhe sLar's llfe, from a Lelegram
announclng her marrlage and a reporL on her husband's rumored CommunlsL ÞarLy Lles Lo
rlsque quoLes she gave abouL herself Lo magazlnes."
78. Ceorgla C'keeffe
79. Ceorge Crwell
80. !esse Cwens
81. Llnus Þaullng
82. Þablo Þlcasso
83. Mary Þlckford
84. Lzra Þound
83. Llvls Þresley
1he klng's flle doesn'L conLaln anyLhlng lnvesLlgaLlonal Loward hlm. lnsLead, lL looks aL aLLempLs
Lo exLorL hlm and collecLs leLLers of complalnL from ouLraged bluenoses.
86. vlncenL Þrlce
87. Ayn 8and
88. ulego 8lvera
89. norman 8ockwell
90. Cene 8oddenberry
91. Lleanor 8oosevelL
!. Ldgar Poover kepL one of hls noLorlous ºsecreL and confldenLlal" flles on a soclallsL named
!oseph Lash who [olned Lhe uS Army. ln Lhe mosL exploslve porLlon of Lhe flle, an agenL reporLs
LhaL Lhe Army CounLerlnLelllgence Corps, whlle survellllng Lash, recorded hlm havlng sex wlLh
llrsL Lady Lleanor 8oosevelL ln a hoLel room. 1hls Lape was Lhen reporLedly played for lu8, who
ordered Lash Lransferred Lo combaL and angrlly confronLed hls wlfe. AlLhough Ms. 8oosevelL
dld have affalrs, 97. lL's generally belleved LhaL Lhls wasn'L one of Lhem. Clven Lhe Llmlng, lL
seems llkely LhaL Lhe sex Lape, lf lL exlsLs, capLured Lash and hls flancee geLLlng lL on.
92. Carl Sagan
93. !onas Salk
94. Charles Schulz
93. 1upac Shakur
96. lrank SlnaLra
1he l8l kepL an Len-lnch Lhlck flle on Cld 8lue Lyes LhaL examlned hls alleged communlsL
leanlngs (doubLful), hls supposed aLLempL aL exLorLlon (case dropped when Lhe vlcLlm wouldn'L
cooperaLe), hls reporLed drafL-dodglng (found Lo be baseless), and hls frlendshlps wlLh Maflosl
(susplclous buL never enough Lo prosecuLe). lnLeresLlngly, ln 1930, Lhe Chalrman of Lhe 8oard
volunLeered Lo become an l8l raL by lnfllLraLlng Lhe CommunlsL ÞarLy. AssoclaLe ulrecLor Clyde
1olson snlffed: ºWe wanL noLhlng Lo do wlLh hlm."
97. 8en[amln Spock
98. !ohn SLelnbeck
Clven SLelnbeck's pro-labor vlews, lL was lnevlLable LhaL Lhe l8l would complle a dossler on
hlm, focuslng on Lhe supposed communlsL connecLlons of Lhe wrlLer and hls wlves. 1he
aLLenLlon was so noLlceable LhaL SLelnbeck wroLe Lo Lhe ALLorney Ceneral: ºuo you suppose
you could ask Ldgar's boys Lo sLop sLepplng on my heels? lL's geLLlng Llresome."
99. !lmmy SLewarL
100. Ld Sulllvan
101. 8lp 1orn
102. Spencer 1racy
103. Lana 1urner
104. Andy Warhol
lor abouL a decade sLarLlng ln Lhe laLe 1960s, Lhe l8l lnvesLlgaLed Þop arLlsL Warhol for
lnLersLaLe LransporLaLlon of obscene maLerlal (l.e., hls own fllms). AlLhough some of hls movles
were banned ln some areas (such as new ?ork), urella was never prosecuLed.
103. !ohn Wayne
Cbvlously, Lhere was no need Lo monlLor Lhe uuke for communlsL acLlvlLles. Pe was such a
fervenL anLl-8ed LhaL SLalln senL a kC8 assasslnaLlon squad Lo snuff hlm. 1he mosL lnLeresLlng
Lhlng ln Wayne's flle ls a memo relaylng reporLs LhaL Lhe acLor flnanclally supporLed a ploL Lo
overLhrow Lhe governmenL of Þanama.
106. Crson Welles
107. Mae WesL
108. 1ennessee Wllllams
109. lrank Lloyd WrlghL
110. 8lchard naLhanlel WrlghL
111. Malcolm x
noLe: ?ou can aLLempL Lo geL Lhese flles for yourself. Some are posLed aL [fola.fbl.gov], buL
mosL wlll requlre a formal requesL. ln your leLLer, menLlon Lhe lreedom of lnformaLlon AcL,
name Lhe flle(s) you're lnLeresLed ln, and clLe Lhe amounL you're wllllng Lo pay. Send Lhe leLLer
8ecord/lnformaLlon ulssemlnaLlon SecLlon
8ecords ManagemenL ulvlslon
lederal 8ureau of lnvesLlgaLlon
ueparLmenL of !usLlce
933 Þennsylvanla Avenue, nW WashlngLon uC 20333-0001
Classlfled CuoLe # 2ºWe have a need for less classlflcaLlon. l read reporL afLer reporL afLer
reporL all day, and Lhey've goL some Lype of classlflcaLlon cover on lL. l'll say, 'WhaL's classlfled
abouL LhaL?' lL's 90 percenL of whaL l read." -Congressman ÞorLer Coss (8epubllcan-llorlda),
Chalr of Lhe Pouse lnLelllgence CommlLLee
LlS1 27 6 8ands 1haL Are Lhe Sub[ecLs of
1. 1he uoors
2. 1he CraLeful uead
3. 1he !efferson Alrplane
4. 1he klngsmen
SomewhaL famously, Lhe l8l was obsessed wlLh Lhe klngsmen's verslon of ºLoule, Loule," whlch
Lhey Lurned lnLo a garage rock classlc wlLh nearly unlnLelllglble lyrlcs. Poover's boys were
convlnced LhaL lL was a fllLhy song subverLlng Amerlca's youLh. ln facL, Lhe l8l LaboraLory was
Lasked wlLh declpherlng Lhe words, never mlnd Lhe unlmporLanL sLuff llke solvlng murders and
kldnapplngs. 1hey never were able Lo break Lhe code, buL Lhey Look several hllarlous sLabs aL lL.
ln every lnsLance, Lhey LhoughL Lhe second llne of Lhe second verse conLalned Lhe phrase ºfuck
you glrl" or ºfuck your glrl." 1he acLual llne ls, ºMe Lhlnk of glrl consLanLly." 1he l8l's flnesL
mlnds also heard llnes llke, ºShe's never a glrl l'd lay aL home," ºShe had a rag on, l moved
above," ºLvery nlghL and day l play wlLh my Lhlng," and, ºPey, you blLch." (1haL lasL llne ls
really, ºMe see !amalca.")Pere ln reallLy, ºLoule Loule"-wrlLLen and orlglnally performed by
rhyLhm and bluesman 8lchard 8erry ls sung from Lhe polnL of vlew of a !amalcan guy Lelllng a
barLender named Loule how he wanLs Lo geL back Lo hls glrl. lL's so Lame LhaL you could llLerally
play lL Lo a flve-year-old wlLhouL worrylng. WheLher or noL Lhe klngsmen added Lhelr own off-
color lyrlcs ls debaLable, buL llsLenlng closely Lo Lhelr verslon whlle readlng Lhe orlglnal lyrlcs
lndlcaLes LhaL Lhey were falLhful Lo 8erry's creaLlon.
6. 1he Monkees
9 1hlngs 1haL Wlll ulsquallfy ?ou
lrom LmploymenL wlLh Lhe l8l
All llsL lLems are Laken verbaLlm from l8l form lu-140: ºAppllcaLlon for LmploymenL, lederal
8ureau of lnvesLlgaLlon."
used marl[uana durlng Lhe lasL 3 years
used marl[uana more Lhan 13 Llmes
used an lllegal drug or comblnaLlon of lllegal drugs, oLher Lhan marl[uana, more Lhan 3 Llmes
used an lllegal drug or comblnaLlon of lllegal drugs, oLher Lhan marl[uana, durlng Lhe lasL 10
sold an lllegal drug for proflL
used an lllegal drug whlle employed ln a law enforcemenL or prosecuLorlal poslLlon or whlle ln a
poslLlon of hlgh-level responslblllLy of publlc LrusL
falled an l8l polygraph examlnaLlon regardlng prlor drug use, even lf Lhe exLenL of use would
noL have been dlsquallfylng
falled an l8l polygraph examlnaLlon regardlng LruLhfulness/candor on an l8l employmenL
falled an l8l polygraph examlnaLlon regardlng conLacL wlLh non-uS lnLelllgence Servlces
17 CuesLlons ?ou'll be Asked
When Applylng Lo 8ecome an l8l
Pave you ever been flred from a [ob?
Pave you ever lefL a [ob by muLual agreemenL followlng allegaLlons of mlsconducL?
uld you reglsLer wlLh Lhe SelecLlve Servlce SysLem as requlred?
WhaL forelgn counLrles have you vlslLed?
Pave you or members of your lmmedlaLe famlly, lncludlng ln-laws, been employed by or acLed
as a consulLanL for a forelgn governmenL, flrm, or agency?
Pave you engaged ln acLs or acLlvlLles deslgned Lo overLhrow Lhe unlLed SLaLes CovernmenL by
Pave you ever been over 120 days dellnquenL on any debL(s) or had any debL placed for
Are you a llcensed moLorcycle drlver?
Where was your slsLer's spouse born?
Are you now of have you ever been a member of a forelgn or domesLlc organlzaLlon,
assoclaLlon, movemenL, group, or comblnaLlon of persons LhaL ls LoLallLarlan, fasclsL,
communlsL, or subverslve?
Are you aware of any lnformaLlon abouL yourself or anyone wlLh whom you are or have been
closely assoclaLed (lncludlng relaLlves and roommaLes) LhaL Lends Lo reflecL unfavorably on your
repuLaLlon, morals, characLer, ablllLles, or loyalLy Lo Lhe unlLed SLaLes?
lf appolnLed as a Speclal AgenL, do you agree Lo serve a mlnlmum of Lhree years, and do you
clearly undersLand LhaL you musL be avallable for an asslgnmenL wherever your servlces are
uo you use alcohol? 1o whaL exLenL?
Pave you or any member of your famlly ever suffered from, or been LreaLed for, any form of
menLal lllness, lnsanlLy, epllepsy, been menLally reLarded, or had psychlaLrlc consulLaLlon of any
uo you have any physlcal defecLs, lncludlng any whlch would preclude unresLrlcLed, regular
parLlclpaLlon ln all phases of Lhe 8ureau's flrearms Lralnlng, physlcal Lralnlng, and defenslve
Pave you ever been declared bankrupL?
Pow dld you become lnLeresLed ln 8ureau employmenL?
10 CldesL SLlll-Classlfled
uocumenLs aL Lhe naLlonal
As of Lhe beglnnlng of 2004, Lhese are Lhe oldesL classlfled documenLs ln possesslon of Lhe
naLlonal Archlves and 8ecords AdmlnlsLraLlon. lf you're wonderlng how 83-year-old
lnformaLlon on naval mlnes and Cerman lnvlslble lnk can sLlll represenL such a LhreaL Lo Lhe
republlc LhaL lL musL remaln Lop-secreL, you're noL alone.
memo: Pelngelman Lo Marlenck (CcLober 30, 1917)
reporL: ºueLecLlon of SecreL lnk" (!anuary 1, 1918)
pamphleL on lnvlslble phoLography and wrlLlng, synLheLlc lnk, and oLher Loplcs (!anuary 1, 1918)
ºuS naval Mlnes, Mlne Anchor, Mark vl" (!anuary 26, 1918)
reporL: ºSecreL lnks" (March 16, 1918)
ºuS naval Mlnes, Mlne Anchor, Mark vl" (May 1, 1918)
Crdnance ÞamphleL 373: ºLnemy Mlnes" (!une 1, 1918)
reporL: ºCerman SecreL lnk lormula" (!une 14, 1918) (one-page and Lhree-page verslons)
Crdnance ÞamphleL 643: ºMlne Mark vl and Mods., uescrlpLlon and CperaLlon" (!anuary 1,
1hanks Lo Mlchael 8avnlLzky
+ War and Þeace
LlS1 31 23 CuoLes 8egardlng Lhe 2003
lnvaslon of lraq
ºPe has noL developed any slgnlflcanL capablllLy wlLh respecL Lo weapons of mass desLrucLlon.
Pe ls unable Lo pro[ecL convenLlonal power agalnsL hls nelghbors."
-SecreLary of SLaLe Colln Þowell, referrlng Lo Saddam Pusseln, lebruary 24, 2001
º8uL ln Lerms of Saddam Pusseln belng Lhere, leL's remember LhaL hls counLry ls dlvlded, ln
effecL. Pe does noL conLrol Lhe norLhern parL of hls counLry. We are able Lo keep arms from
hlm. Pls mlllLary forces have noL been rebullL."
-naLlonal SecurlLy Advlsor Condoleezza 8lce, explalnlng why Pusseln's lraq ls noL a LhreaL, !uly
ºluck Saddam. We're Laklng hlm ouL."
- ÞresldenL Ceorge W. 8ush, ln March 2002, a year before Lhe lraq lnvaslon (a perlod when he
clalms he hadn'L yeL declded how Lo handle Pusseln)
ºSlmply sLaLed, Lhere ls no doubL LhaL Saddam Pusseln now has weapons of mass desLrucLlon."
-vlce ÞresldenL ulck Cheney, AugusL 26, 2002
ºlrom a markeLlng polnL of vlew, you don'L lnLroduce new producLs ln AugusL."
-WhlLe Pouse Chlef of SLaff Andy Card, on why Lhe 8ush AdmlnlsLraLlon walLed unLll
SepLember 2002 Lo sLarL selllng Lhe publlc on an lraq aLLack, SepLember 7, 2002
º1here ls no doubL LhaL he has chemlcal weapons sLocks. We desLroyed some afLer Lhe Culf
War wlLh Lhe lnspecLlon reglme, buL Lhere ls no doubL ln our mlnd LhaL he sLlll has chemlcal
weapons sLocks and he has Lhe capaclLy Lo produce more chemlcal weapons. WlLh respecL Lo
blologlcal weapons, we are confldenL LhaL he has some sLocks of Lhose weapons and he ls
probably conLlnulng Lo Lry Lo develop more."
-SecreLary of SLaLe Þowell, referrlng Lo Pusseln, SepLember 8, 2002.
ºlraq probably has sLocked aL leasL 100 meLrlc Lons and posslbly as much as 300 meLrlc Lons of
CW [chemlcal warfare] agenLs."
-CenLral lnLelllgence Agency, CcLober 2002
ºln deflance of pledges Lo Lhe un lL has sLock-plled blologlcal and chemlcal weapons. lL ls
rebulldlng Lhe faclllLles used Lo make Lhose weapons. un lnspecLors belleve LhaL lraq could
have produced enough blologlcal and chemlcal agenL Lo klll mllllons of people."
-ÞresldenL 8ush, CcLober 2, 2002
ºlnLelllgence gaLhered by Lhls and oLher governmenLs leaves no doubL LhaL Lhe lraq reglme
conLlnues Lo possess and conceal some of Lhe mosL leLhal weapons ever devlsed."
-ÞresldenL 8ush, March 17, 2003
ºl have always sald Lo people LhroughouL LhaL.our alm has been Lhe ellmlnaLlon of weapons of
-uk Þrlme MlnlsLer 1ony 8lalr, March 23, 2003
º1he presldenL has made very clear LhaL Lhe reason why we are ln lraq ls Lo flnd weapons of
mass desLrucLlon. 1he facL LhaL we haven'L found Lhem ln seven or elghL days doesn'L faze me
one llLLle blL. very clearly, we need Lo flnd Lhls sLuff or people are golng Lo be asklng quesLlons."
-AsslsLanL SecreLary of SLaLe for nonprollferaLlon !ohn Wolf, March 30, 2003
ºWe know where Lhey are. 1hey're ln Lhe area around 1lkrlL and 8aghdad and easL, wesL, souLh
and norLh somewhaL."
-SecreLary of uefense uonald 8umsfeld, referrlng Lo lraq's alleged WMu, March 30, 2003
º1here ls evldence LhaL Lhls war was planned well ln advance."
-Pans 8llx, un Chlef Weapons lnspecLor, Aprll 9, 2003
ºWe have hlgh confldence LhaL Lhey have weapons of mass desLrucLlon. 1hls ls whaL Lhls war
was abouL and ls abouL. And we have hlgh confldence lL wlll be found."
-WhlLe Pouse Þress SecreLary Arl llelscher, Aprll 14, 2003
ºWe found Lhe weapons of mass desLrucLlon. We found blologlcal laboraLorles.1hey're lllegal.
1hey're agalnsL Lhe unlLed naLlons resoluLlons, and we've so far dlscovered Lwo. And we'll flnd
more weapons as Llme goes on. 8uL for Lhose who say we haven'L found Lhe banned
manufacLurlng devlces or banned weapons, Lhey're wrong. We found Lhem."
-ÞresldenL 8ush, lylng abouL Lwo weaLher balloon-lnflaLlng sLaLlons found ln lraq, May 29, 2003
(he never made Lhls clalm agaln)
ºl feel llke l've dled and gone Lo hell.. Cn my good days, l feel llke maybe we're aL leasL dolng
someLhlng worLhwhlle for Lhese people. 1here aren'L many good days. Cn my bad days, l feel
llke geLLlng my machlne gun and openlng up on every one of Lhem."
-Lorl, a uS Army prlvaLe sLaLloned ln 8aghdad, AugusL 2003
ºÞlease refraln from wrlLlng press releases hlghllghLlng kllllng Lhe enemy."
-CapL. Þerry !armon, of Lhe Comblned !olnL 1ask lorce, ln an emall Lo a mlllLary publlc relaLlons
flak ln lraq, clrca CcLober 13, 2003. (!armon accldenLally senL hls emall Lo several promlnenL
º1hey used me as a way Lo symbollze all Lhls sLuff. lL hurL ln a way LhaL people would make up
sLorles LhaL Lhey had no LruLh abouL."
-ÞrlvaLe !esslca Lynch, on Lhe myLhs abouL her capLure and rescue spun by Lhe mlllLary and
medla, november 7, 2003
ºl Lhlnk ln Lhls case lnLernaLlonal law sLood ln Lhe way of dolng Lhe rlghL Lhlng."
-uefense Þollcy 8oard member 8lchard Þerle, admlLLlng LhaL Lhe lraq lnvaslon was lllegal,
november 19, 2003. (Þerle ls a leadlng neoconservaLlve hawk who loudly beaL Lhe drum for an
ºWlLh a heavy dose of fear and vlolence, and a loL of money for pro[ecLs, l Lhlnk we can
convlnce Lhese people LhaL we are here Lo help Lhem."
-LL. Colonel naLhan Sassaman, sLaLloned ln Abu Plshma, lraq, uecember 7, 2003
ºAny lndlcaLlon LhaL someLhlng llke LhaL happened would be a very serlous maLLer. 8uL l wanL
Lo be very clear: we don'L, aL Lhls polnL, have any lndlcaLlons LhaL l would conslder credlble and
flrm LhaL LhaL has Laken place, buL we wlll Lle down every lead."
-naLlonal SecurlLy Advlsor Condoleezza 8lce, squelchlng Lhe sllly Lheory LhaL lraq shlpped lLs
WMu Lo Syrla rlghL before Lhe lnvaslon, !anuary 9, 2004
º1here's plenLy of blame Lo go around. 1he maln problem was LhaL Lhe senlor admlnlsLraLlon
offlclals have whaL l call falLh-based lnLelllgence. 1hey knew whaL Lhey wanLed Lhe lnLelllgence
Lo show. 1hey were really bllnd and deaf Lo any klnd of counLervalllng lnformaLlon Lhe
lnLelllgence communlLy would produce. l would asslgn some blame Lo Lhe lnLelllgence
communlLy and mosL of Lhe blame Lo Lhe senlor admlnlsLraLlon offlclals."
-Creg 1hlelmann, former dlrecLor of Lhe Cfflce of SLraLeglc ÞrollferaLlon and MlllLary Affalrs ln
Lhe SLaLe ueparLmenL, lebruary 4, 2004
º1here was never a clear and presenL danger. 1here was never an lmmlnenL LhreaL. lraq-and
we have very good lnLelllgence on Lhls-was never parL of Lhe plcLure of Lerrorlsm."
-Mel Coodman, a veLeran ClA analysL who now Leaches aL Lhe naLlonal War College
12 ArgumenLs AgalnsL Lhe Þollce
SLaLe aL CuanLanamo 8ay
1he 660 or so people belng held aL Lhe naval base ln CuanLanamo 8ay, Cuba, have never been
Lrled or even charged wlLh crlmes. 1hey can be held for Lhe resL of Lhelr llves aL Lhe whlm of Lhe
governmenL, and Lhe mlllLary has floaLed Lhe posslblllLy of execuLlng some of Lhem. ln an efforL
Lo remedy Lhls dlsgraceful desLrucLlon of rlghLs and Lhe law, Lhe CenLer for ConsLlLuLlonal 8lghLs
flled a peLlLlon seeklng habeas corpus, whlch would force Lhe governmenL Lo ConsLlLuLlonally
process Lhe prlsoners (l.e., qulck and speedy Lrlals, [ury of peers, rlghL Lo confronL accusers,
A dlsLrlcL courL refused, buylng Lhe feds' rldlculous argumenL LhaL because Lhe uS mlllLary base
ls locaLed on Lhe lsland of Cuba, lL lsn'L sub[ecL Lo uS law, Lhough lL also ls mosL deflnlLely noL
sub[ecL Lo Cuban law. lollowlng Lhls llne of argumenL, no law applles Lhere, maklng lL an
auLonomous zone, as devlsed by Paklm 8ey, or an lnLer-zone, from Lhe works of Wllllam
8urroughs. l'm sure LhaL Lhe men and women sLaLloned aL CuanLanamo 8ay would be surprlsed
Lo know LhaL Lhey can apparenLly sLeal, rape, and klll wlLh lmpunlLy. Co ahead, snorL coke off
your commandlng offlcer's desk. lL's all rlghL, because uS law doesn'L apply.
Serlously, lL's hard Lo see how any courL boughL such a LransparenLly sLupld, self-servlng
argumenL. 1he CenLer for ConsLlLuLlonal 8lghLs has appealed Lhls boneheaded declslon Lo Lhe
Supreme CourL, whlch Lrlggered a flood of amlcus curlae (frlend of Lhe courL) brlefs from some
powerful lndlvlduals and groups who used Lhe chance Lo lambasLe Lhe concenLraLlon camp 90
mlles off Lhe coasL of llorlda.
former uS dlplomaLs
Who: 23 former uS dlplomaLs, many of whom also served as AsslsLanL SecreLarles of SLaLe or ln
oLher hlgh-level poslLlons.
LxcerpLs: º1hls undermlnes whaL has long been one of our proudesL dlplomaLlc
advanLages-Lhe naLlon's ConsLlLuLlonal guaranLy, enforced by an lndependenL [udlclary,
agalnsL arblLrary governmenL."
º1he world has Laken due noLe of Lhe facL LhaL Lhe unlLed SLaLes has lncarceraLed Lhese
peLlLloners ln CuanLanamo and LhaL Lhere has been no efforL Lo charge, Lry or [udge Lhem
under law. 1hls has generaLed lnLernaLlonal concern. 1he lnLer-Amerlcan Commlsslon on
Puman 8lghLs has underLaken precauLlonary measures. 1he un Plgh Commlssloner for Puman
8lghLs has spoken ouL. 1he lnLernaLlonal CommlLLee of Lhe 8ed Cross has gone on record. 1he
8rlLlsh CourL of Appeal ln Lhe Abbasl case has expressed lLs dlspleasure. 1he Puman 8lghLs
Chamber of 8osnla-Perzegovlna, a courL LhaL Lhe unlLed SLaLes helped creaLe, has lssued lLs
own proLesL. And Shlrln Lbadl, Lhe reclplenL of Lhe mosL recenL nobel Þeace Þrlze, referred
speclflcally Lo CuanLanamo ln her accepLance remarks as an affronL Lo unlversal human rlghLs.
ºClLlzens of forelgn counLrles cannoL assume LhaL whaL happened Lo Lhe CuanLanamo prlsoners
cannoL happen Lo Lhem. lL wlll noL be evldenL why, lf Lhe LxecuLlve 8ranch can deLaln prlsoners
ln CuanLanamo free of [udlclal lnqulry, lL cannoL expand Lhe pracLlce Lo esLabllsh a global
crlmlnal [usLlce sysLem wlLh oLher prlson camps llke CuanLanamo, slmllarly sub[ecL Lo no legal
overslghL and ln whlch any forelgner deemed a danger by some offlclal mlghL be deLalned
lndeflnlLely. nor wlll lL be evldenL why such a pracLlce could noL reach ouL Lo persons wlLhln Lhe
unlLed SLaLes or even Lo Amerlcan clLlzens."
former uS governmenL offlclals
Who: º[l]ormer uS governmenL offlclals who have exerclsed legal responslblllLy over maLLers
concernlng Lhe uS naval 8ase aL CuanLanamo, Lhe Þanama Canal, or oLher uS bases on forelgn
soll and Lhose whose responslblllLles subsLanLlally lnvolved Lhe scope of u.S. [urlsdlcLlon and
LxcerpLs: ºAlLhough CuanLanamo ls unusual, lL ls noL sul generls. PlsLory records aL leasL Lhree
oLher examples of LerrlLory ouLslde uS LerrlLorlal borders and soverelgnLy, buL sLlll under Lhe
compleLe [urlsdlcLlon and conLrol of Lhe unlLed SLaLes: Lhe Canal Zone, Lhe 1rusL 1errlLory of
Lhe Þaclflc lslands, and Lhe former Amerlcan secLor ln 8erlln. ln each of Lhese lnsLances, uS
courLs have, by exLrapolaLlon from Lhe lnsular Cases, found fundamenLal consLlLuLlonal rlghLs Lo
be appllcable Lo clLlzens and allens wlLhln Lhese LerrlLorles. As ln CuanLanamo, Lhe unlLed
SLaLes for sLraLeglc reasons galned full powers of [urlsdlcLlon and conLrol over Lhese LerrlLorles,
wlLhouL ever possesslng acLual soverelgnLy."
ºlf Lhe CovernmenL denles LhaL forelgn naLlonals have rlghLs, Lhen by conflnlng Lhem aL
CuanLanamo, lL ls engaged noL ln legal deLenLlon, buL ln a lawless exerclse of naked force."
º1he uue Þrocess Clause [of Lhe lourLh AmendmenL] ls phrased ln unlversal Lerms, proLecLlng
any 'person' raLher Lhan 'clLlzens' or members of 'Lhe people.' nor does lLs wordlng suggesL
llmlLaLlons as Lo place."
ºMalnLalnlng lnvolunLary capLlves of Lhe unlLed SLaLes as rlghLless ouLlaws because of Lhelr
capLlve sLaLus would revlve Lhe loglc of slavery, a consLlLuLlonal pracLlce LhaL Lhls counLry has
ºln any evenL, Lhe ConsLlLuLlon undenlably proLecLs lnvolunLary sub[ecLs, such as chlldren who
may be Loo young Lo form volunLary connecLlons."
ºlf Lhe uue Þrocess Clause does noL apply Lo deLalnees aL CuanLanamo, Lhe CovernmenL would
have effecLlve dlscreLlon Lo sLarve Lhem, Lo beaL Lhem, and Lo klll Lhem, wlLh or wlLhouL
hearlngs and wlLh or wlLhouL evldence of any wrongdolng."
former Amerlcan ÞCWs
Who: ºLeslle P. !ackson, Ldward !ackferL, and neal ParrlngLon, former Amerlcan prlsoners of
war deLalned by Lhe Cerman and !apanese governmenLs durlng World War ll."
LxcerpL: ºAs Lhese examples [occupled Cermany, vleLnam, Crenada, Þanama, PalLl, and Lhe
Þerslan Culf] show, Lhe use of Lrlbunals LradlLlonally has been an lnLegral componenL of Lhe
unlLed SLaLes' LreaLmenL of persons capLured on enemy soll. 1he CovernmenL's currenL
pracLlce of lmprlsonlng forelgn clLlzens lndeflnlLely wlLhouL provldlng Lhem wlLh an
lndlvlduallzed deLermlnaLlon of Lhelr sLaLus represenLs a sharp break wlLh Lhls hlsLorlcal
commlLmenL. Allowlng access Lo Lhe courLs ls Lhe only means for Lhese deLalnees Lo achleve Lhe
narrow redress Lhey seek-lndlvlduallzed deLermlnaLlons of Lhelr sLaLus as requlred by Lhe
Ceneva ConvenLlons and uS mlllLary regulaLlons."
reLlred uS mlllLary offlcers
Who: ºhree reLlred mlllLary offlcers. Lach one formerly served as Lhe !udge AdvocaLe
Ceneral or Lhe senlor legal advlsor for a branch of Lhe unlLed SLaLes mlllLary, and has exLenslve
experlence wlLh uS mlllLary regulaLlons and Lhe Laws of War."
LxcerpLs: º1he unlLed SLaLes has also demanded appllcaLlon of Lhe prlnclples codlfled ln Lhe
Ceneva ConvenLlons Lo capLured uS servlce personnel, even when Lhey were Laken prlsoner
under clrcumsLances when Lhe ConvenLlons, Lechnlcally, dld noL apply. lor example, followlng
Lhe capLure of uS WarranL Cfflcer Mlchael uuranL by forces under Lhe conLrol of Somall warlord
Mohamed larah Aldeed ln 1993, Lhe unlLed SLaLes demanded assurances LhaL uuranL's
LreaLmenL would be conslsLenL wlLh Lhe broad proLecLlons afforded under Lhe ConvenLlons,
even Lhough, '[u]nder a sLrlcL lnLerpreLaLlon of Lhe 1hlrd Ceneva ConvenLlon's appllcablllLy,
uuranL's capLors would noL be bound Lo follow Lhe convenLlon because Lhey were noL a
ºlnvoklng lnLernaLlonal human rlghLs sLandards, Lhe unlLed SLaLes also has condemned forelgn
governmenLs LhaL have held deLalnees lncommunlcado, deprlvlng Lhem of Lhe ablllLy Lo seek
[udlclal revlew of Lhelr conflnemenLs. 1he unlLed SLaLes, for example, ob[ecLed recenLly when
Lhe Llberlan governmenL arresLed [ournallsL Passan 8lllLy and held hlm lncommunlcado on Lhe
purporLed ground LhaL he was an 'lllegal combaLanL' lnvolved ln LerrorlsL acLlvlLy."
º?eL even as Amerlcan offlclals condemn oLher naLlons for deLalnlng people lndeflnlLely wlLhouL
access Lo a courL or Lrlbunal, auLhorlLarlan reglmes elsewhere are polnLlng Lo uS LreaLmenL of
Lhe CuanLanamo prlsoners as [usLlflcaLlon for such acLlons. LrlLrea's Ambassador Lo Lhe unlLed
SLaLes defended hls own governmenL's roundup of [ournallsLs by clalmlng LhaL Lhelr deLenLlon
wlLhouL charge was conslsLenL wlLh Lhe unlLed SLaLes' deLenLlon of maLerlal wlLnesses and
allens suspecLed by Lhe unlLed SLaLes of LerrorlsL acLlvlLles."
Who: ºMore Lhan slxLy years ago, as a young man, lred koremaLsu challenged Lhe
consLlLuLlonallLy of ÞresldenL lranklln 8oosevelL's 1942 LxecuLlve Crder LhaL auLhorlzed Lhe
lnLernmenL of all persons of !apanese ancesLry on Lhe WesL CoasL of Lhe unlLed SLaLes. Pe was
convlcLed and senL Lo prlson. ln koremaLsu v. unlLed SLaLes, Lhls CourL upheld hls convlcLlon,
explalnlng LhaL because Lhe unlLed SLaLes was aL war, Lhe governmenL could consLlLuLlonally
lnLern Mr. koremaLsu, wlLhouL a hearlng, and wlLhouL any ad[udlcaLlve deLermlnaLlon LhaL he
had done anyLhlng wrong."
LxcerpLs: ºAlLhough cerLaln aspecLs of Lhe 'war agalnsL Lerrorlsm' may be unprecedenLed, Lhe
challenges Lo consLlLuLlonal llberLles Lhese cases presenL are slmllar Lo Lhose Lhe naLlon has
encounLered LhroughouL lLs hlsLory. 1he exLreme naLure of Lhe CovernmenL's poslLlon here ls
all Loo famlllar as well. When vlewed ln lLs hlsLorlcal conLexL, Lhe CovernmenL's poslLlon ls parL
of a paLLern whereby Lhe execuLlve branch curLalls clvll llberLles much more Lhan necessary
durlng warLlme and seeks Lo lnsulaLe Lhe basls for lLs acLlons from any [udlclal scruLlny."
ºln ?oungsLown SheeL & 1ube Co. v. Sawyer, Lhls CourL lnvalldaLed ÞresldenL 1ruman's
naLlonallzaLlon of Lhe sLeel mllls durlng Lhe korean ConfllcL, desplLe Lhe Commander-ln-Chlef's
lnslsLence LhaL hls acLlons were necessary Lo malnLaln producLlon of essenLlal war maLerlal.
uurlng Lhe vleLnam War, Lhls CourL re[ecLed a CovernmenL requesL Lo en[oln publlcaLlon of Lhe
ÞenLagon Þapers, refuslng Lo defer Lo execuLlve branch clalms LhaL publlcaLlon of Lhls Lop-
secreL documenL would endanger our Lroops ln Lhe fleld and undermlne ongolng mlllLary
operaLlons. new ?ork 1lmes Co. v. unlLed SLaLes."
ºuurlng World War l, !ohn Lord C'8rlan served as Speclal AsslsLanL ALLorney Ceneral ln charge
of Lhe War Lmergency ulvlslon of Lhe ueparLmenL of !usLlce. ln Lhls capaclLy, he played a
cenLral role ln enforclng Lhe Lsplonage AcL of 1917. lour decades laLer, reflecLlng on hls own
experlence, C'8rlan cauLloned agalnsL Lhe 'emoLlonal exclLemenL engendered.durlng a war,'
and warned LhaL 'Lhe greaLesL danger Lo our lnsLlLuLlons' may resL, noL ln Lhe LhreaL of
subverslon, buL 'ln our own weaknesses ln yleldlng' Lo warLlme anxleLy and our 'readlness
Lo.dlsregard Lhe fundamenLal rlghLs of Lhe lndlvldual.' Pe expressed Lhe hope LhaL 'our [udges
wlll ln Lhe end esLabllsh prlnclples reafflrmlng' our naLlon's commlLmenL Lo clvll llberLles.
ºAs Chlef !usLlce 8ehnqulsL has wrlLLen, '[l]L ls all Loo easy Lo sllde from a case of genulne
mlllLary necesslLy.Lo one where Lhe LhreaL ls noL crlLlcal and Lhe power [soughL Lo be exerclsed
ls] elLher dublous or nonexlsLenL.' lL ls, he added, 'boLh deslrable and llkely LhaL more careful
aLLenLlon wlll be pald by Lhe courLs Lo Lhe.governmenL's clalms of necesslLy as a basls for
curLalllng clvll llberLy.'"
uk Members of ÞarllamenL
Who: º173 Members of boLh Pouses of Lhe unlLed klngdom of CreaL 8rlLaln and norLhern
LxcerpL: º1here ls no mechanlsm ln place or belng followed Lo ensure LhaL Lhe clrcumsLances of
Lhese deLenLlons meeL even Lhe mosL baslc sLandards of due process or human rlghLs. 1he rule
of law requlres reasonable due process Lo ascerLaln Lhe bases asserLed ln supporL of prolonged
deLenLlon as well as Lhe veraclLy of Lhe facLs LhaL supporL Lhose bases. lndeflnlLe deLenLlon
wlLhouL charge represenLs a vlolenL deparLure from prlnclples underlylng our common legal
º1he deLenLlon cenLer aL CuanLanamo was deslgned, accordlng Lo Lhe uS AdmlnlsLraLlon, Lo
house 'Lhe worsL of Lhe worsL' and 'hardesL of Lhe hardcore.' ?eL, oLher sLaLemenLs by Lhe
admlnlsLraLlon suggesL LhaL CuanLanamo holds no hlgh ranklng LerrorlsL of any slgnlflcance."
lnLernaLlonal law and [urlsdlcLlon professors
Who: lour law professors from Lhe uS. ºAll are academlc lnLernaLlonal law experLs who have
devoLed slgnlflcanL aLLenLlon Lo Lhe [urlsdlcLlonal aspecLs of naLlonal and lnLernaLlonal law ln
areas such as lnLernaLlonal crlmlnal law, lnLernaLlonal economlc law, and human rlghLs.
Þrofessors 8arLon and CarLer are members of Lhe bar of Lhls CourL."
LxcerpLs: º1he prlsoners held aL Lhe unlLed SLaLes naval 8ase aL CuanLanamo are noL Lhe only
persons who wlll be affecLed by Lhe CourL's [urlsdlcLlonal declslon ln Lhls case. ln Lhe afLermaLh
of SepLember 11, 2001, lL appears posslble LhaL Lhe unlLed SLaLes execuLlve wlll esLabllsh lLs
own speclal crlmlnal courL process, seeklng Lo avold Lhe use of ArLlcle lll [udges and Lo use
lnsLead an execuLlve form of revlew raLher Lhan an lndependenL [udlclal revlew, such as LhaL
provlded by Lhls CourL, MlllLary Crder of nov. 13, 2001: ueLenLlon, 1reaLmenL, and 1rlal of
CerLaln non-ClLlzens ln Lhe War AgalnsL 1errorlsm. 1hls new process may be applled far beyond
Lhose capLured ln connecLlon wlLh Lhe AfghanlsLan or lraq acLlons, for Lhe war on Lerrorlsm ls
llkely Lo lasL lndeflnlLely."
ºMoreover, precedenLs seL ln Lhls Lerrorlsm confllcL may end up belng applled as well Lo
lnLernaLlonal narcoLlcs or money-launderlng offenses."
Who: A group of Lwo-dozen legal hlsLorlans from Parvard, 8osLon College, Columbla, Cxford,
SLanford, ?ale, AmhersL, ÞrlnceLon, CeorgeLown, and oLher unlverslLles.
LxcerpL: ºln sum, Lhe hlsLorlcal evldence ls noL conslsLenL wlLh Lhe governmenL's clalm LhaL Lhe
wrlL of habeas corpus guaranLeed by Lhe ConsLlLuLlon ls unavallable Lo LesL even Lhe
classlflcaLlon as 'allen enemles' of Lhose deLalned aL CuanLánamo. CuanLánamo lles a mere 90
mlles from Lhe unlLed SLaLes and has been sub[ecL Lo Lhe excluslve conLrol and [urlsdlcLlon of
Lhe unlLed SLaLes for Lhe pasL cenLury. no oLher law buL uS law operaLes Lhere. 1he hlsLorlcal
evldence suggesLs lnsLead LhaL Lhe denlal of all habeas corpus revlew ln such a slLuaLlon would
conLravene Lhe fundamenLal prlnclples LhaL have governed Lhe avallablllLy and operaLlon of Lhe
CreaL WrlL slnce well before Lhe unlLed SLaLes ConsLlLuLlon was adopLed."
blparLlsan coallLlon of naLlonal and lnLernaLlonal non-governmenLal
Who: AmnesLy lnLernaLlonal, Puman 8lghLs WaLch, Amerlcan Clvll LlberLles unlon, AnLl-
uefamaLlon League, Lawyers CommlLLee for Puman 8lghLs, AssoclaLlon of Lhe 8ar of Lhe ClLy of
new ?ork, naLlonal AssoclaLlon of Soclal Workers (Legal uefense lund), Þeople lor Lhe
Amerlcan Way loundaLlon, naLlonal Councll of Lhe Churches of ChrlsL ln Lhe uSA, and seven
oLher legal and rellglous groups.
LxcerpLs: ºWere Lhe uue Þrocess Clause lnappllcable Lo uS acLlons ln CuanLanamo 8ay, Lhen
Lhe ConsLlLuLlon would allow Lhe summary execuLlon or LorLure of prlsoners deLalned Lhere.
lndeed, Lhe governmenL has conceded Lhls ln open courL. See Cherebl v. 8ush, 2003. ('[A]L oral
argumenL, Lhe governmenL advlsed us LhaL lLs poslLlon would be Lhe same even lf Lhe clalms
were LhaL lL was engaglng ln acLs of LorLure or LhaL lL was summarlly execuLlng Lhe deLalnees.
1o our knowledge, prlor Lo Lhe currenL deLenLlon of prlsoners aL CuanLanamo, Lhe uS
governmenL has never before asserLed such a grave and sLarLllng proposlLlon.')"
º1he uS ueparLmenL of uefense has asserLed LhaL Lhe CuanLanamo prlsoners, nearly all of
whose ldenLlLles have noL been offlclally dlsclosed, are 'baLLlefleld' deLalnees who were
engaged ln combaL when arresLed. 8uL ln addlLlon Lo ÞeLlLloners' clalms of non-combaLancy, lL
ls clear LhaL some deLalnees were apprehended far from baLLleflelds. lor lnsLance, CuanLanamo
holds slx 8osnlans and Algerlans who were arresLed by 8osnlan pollce ln 8osnla and Lhen
handed over Lo uS Lroops aL Lhe requesL of Lhe unlLed SLaLes. 1hey were qulckly LransporLed Lo
CuanLanamo, desplLe a 8osnlan courL order LhaL four of Lhe men remaln ln 8osnla for furLher
lnLernaLlonal Commlsslon of !urlsLs
Who: º1he lC! ls comprlsed of 60 [urlsLs [[udges, prosecuLors, and aLLorneys] of hlgh sLandlng ln
Lhelr own counLry or aL Lhe lnLernaLlonal level."
LxcerpLs: ºlf Lhe CourL's lnLerpreLaLlon of !ohnson v. LlsenLrager were correcL, uS offlclals could
arresL forelgn naLlonals and, by Lhe slmple devlce of Lransferrlng such prlsoners Lo a place of
deLenLlon ouLslde Lhe soverelgn LerrlLory of Lhe unlLed SLaLes, defeaL Lhe [urlsdlcLlon of Lhe
unlLed SLaLes CourLs Lo revlew Lhe legallLy of Lhelr deLenLlon. 1he uS LxecuLlve could arblLrarlly
hold such lndlvlduals ln deLenLlon wlLh no accounLablllLy Lo any courL of law."
º1here are already dlsLurblng slgns LhaL oLher naLlons have begun Lo use Lhe example of Lhe
unlLed SLaLes Lo [usLlfy arblLrary deLenLlon of Lhelr clLlzens. lor example, Malaysla's Law
MlnlsLer has [usLlfled Lhe deLenLlon of mlllLanLs wlLhouL Lrlal sLaLlng LhaL lLs pracLlce was '[usL
llke Lhe process aL CuanLanamo 8ay.' 1he mlnlsLer furLher lndlcaLed LhaL he 'puL Lhe equaLlon
wlLh CuanLanamo 8ay [usL Lo make lL graphlc Lo you LhaL Lhls ls noL slmply a Malayslan sLyle of
Puman 8lghLs lnsLlLuLe of Lhe lnLernaLlonal 8ar AssoclaLlon
Who: º1he Puman 8lghLs lnsLlLuLe of Lhe lnLernaLlonal 8ar AssoclaLlon (Lhe 'lnsLlLuLe') ls an
lnLernaLlonal body headquarLered ln London, Lngland, LhaL helps promoLe, proLecL and enforce
human rlghLs under a [usL rule of law, and works Lo preserve Lhe lndependence of Lhe [udlclary
and legal professlon worldwlde. lounded ln 1993 under Lhe Ponorary Þresldency of nelson
Mandela, Lhe lnsLlLuLe now has more Lhan 7,000 members worldwlde."
LxcerpL: ºLven where Lhe presumpLlon of prlsoner of war sLaLus ls dlsplaced, Lhe [Ceneva]
ConvenLlons afford due process proLecLlon Lo all deLalnees, ensurlng LhaL Lhey are noL held
wlLhouL [usLlflcaLlon and LhaL any prosecuLlon broughL agalnsL Lhem accords wlLh fundamenLal
[usLlce. CombaLanLs who are noL members of any armed forces or volunLeer corps belonglng Lo
a parLy Lo a confllcL have been descrlbed as 'unlawful combaLanLs,' alLhough no such sLaLus ls
recognlzed ln Lhe Ceneva ConvenLlons. lf Lhey are noL members of Lhe armed forces, Lhey fall
wlLhln Lhe scope of Lhe Clvlllan ConvenLlon. Accordlngly, whlle unlawful combaLanLs (unllke
prlsoners of war) may be prosecuLed for Laklng parL ln Lhe confllcL and for any crlmes
commlLLed ln LhaL regard, Lhey are enLlLled Lo Lhe [udlclal guaranLees seL ouL wlLhln Lhe Clvlllan
ConvenLlon should Lhey be prosecuLed for Lhelr acLlons."
naLlonal lnsLlLuLe of MlllLary !usLlce
Who: º[A] ulsLrlcL of Columbla nonproflL corporaLlon organlzed ln 1991 Lo advance Lhe falr
admlnlsLraLlon of mlllLary [usLlce and Lo fosLer lmproved publlc undersLandlng of Lhe mlllLary
LxcerpLs: ºA well-developed body of law regardlng lndlvlduals selzed durlng hosLlllLles has been
enforced regularly by lmparLlal Lrlbunals ln pasL confllcLs, and ls belng applled Loday by unlLed
SLaLes armed forces ln combaL. 1he appllcaLlon of Lhe rule of law Lo lndlvlduals selzed durlng
hosLlllLles ls noL lnconslsLenL wlLh Lhe LxecuLlve 8ranch's exerclse of lLs war powers, elLher ln
Lheory or ln Lhe pracLlce of Lhe unlLed SLaLes over Lhe pasL flfLy years. nor ls Lhere anyLhlng
novel abouL lssulng a wrlL of habeas corpus on Lhe appllcaLlon of an lndlvldual conflned by Lhe
mlllLary aL CuanLanamo 8ay, someLhlng Lhe hlghesL courL of Lhe mlllLary dld ln 8urLL v. Schlck,
23 M.!. 140 (1986)."
ºuomesLlc law and pracLlce Lhus make lL clear LhaL CuanLanamo 8ay has never been regarded
by Lhe unlLed SLaLes as a 'law-free' zone. unlLed SLaLes courLs exerclse crlmlnal [urlsdlcLlon over
boLh clLlzens and allens aL CuanLanamo 8ay. ln connecLlon wlLh Lhe deLalnees currenLly
lnLerned aL CuanLanamo 8ay, Lhe unlLed SLaLes has already asserLed [urlsdlcLlon over an Army
chaplaln, Lwo LranslaLors, and an lnLelllgence offlcer. !udlclal resoluLlon of charges agalnsL Lhose
lndlvlduals has noL Lroubled Lhe CovernmenL, whlch ls accordlng rlghLs Lo everyone excepL Lhe
ºWhlle Lhe CovernmenL devoLes much aLLenLlon Lo Lhe supposed unavallablllLy of habeas
corpus ln CuanLanamo 8ay, no such [urlsdlcLlonal dlfflculLy was found by Lhe courL wlLh
responslblllLy for Lhe mlllLary [usLlce sysLem. ln 8urLL v. Schlck, a navy enllsLed man conflned aL
CuanLanamo 8ay soughL a wrlL of habeas corpus afLer Lhe prosecuLlon had obLalned a mlsLrlal
over hls ob[ecLlon. Poldlng LhaL Lhe mlsLrlal had been obLalned wlLhouL elLher 'manlfesL
necesslLy,' or Lhe consenL of Lhe accused, Lhe CourL of MlllLary Appeals unanlmously granLed
Lhe wrlL agalnsL Lhe offlcer-ln-charge of Lhe CuanLanamo 8ay brlg. ln dolng so, lL found no
obsLacle Lo asserLlng habeas corpus [urlsdlcLlon over lndlvlduals aL CuanLanamo 8ay."
Scorecard for Lhe uomesLlc ºWar on 1error" lrom 9/11 Lo SepL 30, 2003, number of
federal prosecuLlons for ºLerrorlsm": 2,001number of convlcLlons: 879number of prlson
senLences: 373number of Lhose senLences LhaL were for less Lhan a year: 230number of Lhose
senLences LhaL were for 20 years Lo llfe: 3
LlS1 33 13 LxoLlc Cuns and knlves
Cuns wlLh barrels LhaL curve 90 degrees have been around slnce Lhe laLe 1800s, accordlng Lo
Lhe Pow Lo klll serles of books. 1he kummlauf used by Lhe nazls ls well-known, and Lhe concepL
made headllnes ln 2003 when Lhe lsraell uefense lorce sLarLed uslng a modern verslon-Lhe
Corner ShoL machlne gun-for shooLlng ÞalesLlnlans.
A darLgun LhaL looks llke a plsLol, used wlLh shellflsh polson and cobra venom. 1hls puppy
became publlc knowledge when, durlng Lhe Church CommlLLee's lnvesLlgaLlon lnLo ClA crlmes,
ulrecLor Wllllam Casey dlsplayed lL before Lhe sLarLled SenaLors.
Say you wanL Lo send a polson darL lnLo your LargeL's neck, buL puLLlng a blowgun Lo your
mouLh mlghL Lend Lo aLLracL aLLenLlon, especlally ln an urban envlronmenL. Well, [usL geL an
empLy soda can and palnL lL Lhe color of Lhe beverage lL once conLalned. 8un a sawed-off
blowgun from Lhe llp Lo a hole cuL ln Lhe buLLon. Whlle lL looks llke you're en[oylng llquld
refreshmenL, your acLually deallng ouL horrlble deaLh!
1hls speclally-deslgned gun ls bullL lnLo a soldler's hard-helmeL, wlLh Lhe Lrlgger connecLed Lo
Lhe chln sLrap. When Lhe soldler opens hls mouLh, Lhe devlce flres ouL of Lhe fronL of Lhe
uuck's fooL plsLol
An uncommon deslgn from Lhe olden days, duck's fooL plsLols were fllnLlock derrlngers wlLh
Lwo or more barrels LhaL would slmulLaneous dlscharge wlLh one pull of Lhe Lrlgger. usually, Lhe
barrels polnLed ln dlfferenL dlrecLlons, so Lhe ammo would fan ouL over a large area, maklng
Lhls gun good for handllng grumbllng crowds. Cne model was made wlLh elghL barrels, coverlng
a 120-degree range!
MosL obvlously used for geLLlng pasL meLal deLecLors, Lhese daggers are sharp buL almosL
Around flve lnches long, Lhls homemade number proLrudes beLween your lndex and mlddle
flngers when you make a flsL. Þunch someone ln Lhe skull or chesL Lo acLlvaLe Lhe flrlng pln,
whlch sends a slngle slug lnLo Lhe vlcLlm.
1hls flaL blade-ln Lhe shape of elLher a long rlghL Lrlangle or a Lhln pyramld, ls Lhe perfecL
shape Lo sllde lnLo Lhe lapel of a sulL coaL.
LlberaLor 9MM plsLol
Þrobably Lhe world's smallesL gun, Lhls sLeel and alumlnum nlne-mllll from SLlnger
ManufacLurlng ls Lhe lengLh and helghL of a credlL card. And, wlLh a wldLh of nlne-LenLhs of an
lnch, lL's noL very Lhlck elLher.
AusLrallan lnvenLor Mlke C'uwyer has creaLed a gun LhaL can flre over one mllllon rounds per
mlnuLe. 1he prlnclple lnvolves a unlL LhaL houses dozens of barrels, each llned wlLh a row of
bulleLs. LlecLronlc pulses seL off LradlLlonal gunpowder, launchlng all bulleLs ln a barrel aL once.
1he pulses are sLaggered so LhaL each barrel flres a fracLlon of a second before or afLer any
Wlred news reporLed ln 2001: ºln a LesL flrlng of 36 barrels, lashed LogeLher and flrlng full bore,
Lhe gun reduced a serles of 13 wooden doors Lo LooLhplcks ln [usL Lwo-LenLhs of a second."
Slnce Lhen, a proLoype has been developed ln whlch Lhe 36 barrels are no longer Lled LogeLher
buL are housed ln one unlL, called a pod.
1he uS and AusLrallan mlllLarles have granLed C'uwyer's MeLal SLorm company over $100
mllllon for furLher developmenL of Lhls mega-gun.
?es, vlrglnla, Lhere really are guns dlsgulsed as pens. Amerlca's Cfflce of Speclal Servlces and
8rlLaln's Speclal CperaLlon LxecuLlve used Lhem ln WWll, and SLlnger ManufacLurlng currenLly
makes one, whlch lL clalms ls Lhe only legal model ln Lhe world. 1helr ÞenCun looks llke a sLeel
pen unLll you bend lL ln half, causlng Lhe Lrlgger Lo pop ouL. ?ou Lhen have a .22 plsLol wlLh a
slngle shoL. ln a relaLed veln, Lhe company's knlfeCun looks llke a Lyplcal 3.7-lnch buck knlfe,
and lL does lndeed have a reLracLable blade. 8uL lL also has a reLracLable barrel, whlch flres a
slngle .22 slug.
Made Lo be smuggled lnLo conLrolled seLLlngs, llke prlson, lL looks llke a sllm, Lhree-lnch meLal
Lube Lucked far up your rear. unscrew Lhe Lop, whlch has a long splke aLLached, and screw lL
back on wlLh splke faclng ouLward. Also known as an ºarse shlv."
umbrella polson gun
1he mosL famous vlcLlm of Lhls weapon ls 8ulgarlan dlssldenL wrlLer Ceorgl Markov, who had
defecLed Lo Lhe uk. ln SepLember 1979, he was walklng across WaLerloo 8rldge when he felL a
[ab ln Lhe back of hls Lhlgh. A man carrylng an umbrella apologlzed and qulckly lefL Lhe area. 8y
Lhe nexL mornlng, Markov was ln dlre sLralLs, and ln a few days he dled. 1he umbrella had been
rlgged Lo flre a rlcln-conLalnlng pelleL Lhe slze of a plnhead. AfLer 8ulgarla's communlsL
governmenL fell, lL was revealed LhaL Lhey were behlnd Lhe assasslnaLlon.
LlS1 34 11 MaLerlals 1haL Pave 8een
Made lnLo Cuns
1. belL buckle
2. blcycle pump
4. car anLenna (zlp gun)
6. flashbulb (Lo lgnlLe gunpowder)
7. ground splke
8. Lable leg
9. Loy gun
10. LranslsLor radlo
11. waLer plplng
20 Mlshaps 1haL MlghL Pave
SLarLed nuclear War
Alan l. Þhlllps, M.u.
Lver slnce Lhe Lwo adversarles ln Lhe Cold War, Lhe uSA and Lhe uSS8, reallzed LhaL Lhelr
nuclear arsenals were sufflclenL Lo do dlsasLrous damage Lo boLh counLrles aL shorL noLlce, Lhe
leaders and Lhe mlllLary commanders have LhoughL abouL Lhe posslblllLy of a nuclear war
sLarLlng wlLhouL Lhelr lnLenLlon or as a resulL of a false alarm. lncreaslngly elaboraLe accessorles
have been lncorporaLed ln nuclear weapons and Lhelr dellvery sysLems Lo mlnlmlze Lhe rlsk of
unauLhorlzed or accldenLal launch or deLonaLlon. A mosL lnnovaLlve acLlon was Lhe
esLabllshmenL of Lhe ºhoLllne" beLween WashlngLon and Moscow ln 1963 Lo reduce Lhe rlsk of
mlsundersLandlng beLween Lhe supreme commanders.
uesplLe all precauLlons, Lhe posslblllLy of an lnadverLenL war due Lo an unpredlcLed sequence of
evenLs remalned as a deadly LhreaL Lo boLh counLrles and Lo Lhe world. 1haL ls Lhe reason l am
prepared Lo spend Lhe resL of my llfe worklng for abollLlon of nuclear weapons.
Cne way a war could sLarL ls by a false alarm vla one of Lhe warnlng sysLems, followed by an
lncreased level of nuclear forces readlness whlle Lhe valldlLy of Lhe lnformaLlon was belng
checked. 1hls acLlon would be deLecLed by Lhe oLher slde, and Lhey would Lake approprlaLe
acLlon, deLecLlon of Lhe response would Lend Lo conflrm Lhe orlglnal false alarm, and so on Lo
dlsasLer. A slmllar sequence could resulL from an accldenLal nuclear exploslon anywhere. 1he
rlsk of such a sequence developlng would be lncreased lf lL happened durlng a perlod of
lncreased lnLernaLlonal Lenslon.
Cn Lhe Amerlcan slde, many ºfalse alarms" and slgnlflcanL accldenLs have been llsLed, ranglng
from Lhe Lrlvlal Lo Lhe very serlous, durlng Lhe Cold War. Þrobably many remaln unknown Lo Lhe
publlc and Lhe research communlLy because of lndlvlduals' deslre Lo avold blame and malnLaln
Lhe good repuLaLlon of Lhelr unlL or command. no doubL Lhere have been as many mlshaps on
Lhe SovleL slde.
Worklng wlLh any new sysLem, false alarms are more llkely. 1he rlslng moon was mlslnLerpreLed
as a mlsslle aLLack durlng Lhe early days of long-range radar. A flre aL a broken gas plpellne was
belleved Lo be Lhe enemy [ammlng by laser a saLelllLe's lnfrared sensor when Lhose sensors
were flrsL deployed.
1he rlsks are lllusLraLed by Lhe followlng selecLlon of mlshaps. lf Lhe people lnvolved had
exerclsed less cauLlon, or lf some unforLunaLe colncldenLal evenL had occurred, escalaLlon Lo
nuclear war can easlly be lmaglned. ueLalls of some of Lhe evenLs dlffer ln dlfferenL sources,
where Lhere have been dlsagreemenLs, l have chosen Lo quoLe Lhose from Lhe carefully
researched book, 1he LlmlLs of SafeLy by ScoLL u. Sagan. Pe glves references Lo orlglnal sources
ln all lnsLances.
Suez Crlsls colncldence
november 3, 1936. 8rlLlsh and lrench lorces were aLLacklng LgypL aL Lhe Suez Canal. 1he SovleL
governmenL had suggesLed Lo Lhe uS LhaL Lhey comblne forces Lo sLop Lhls by a [olnL mlllLary
acLlon, and had warned Lhe 8rlLlsh and lrench governmenLs LhaL (non-nuclear) rockeL aLLacks
on London and Þarls were belng consldered. 1haL nlghL nC8Au PC recelved messages LhaL:
1. unldenLlfled alrcrafL were flylng over 1urkey, and Lhe 1urklsh alr force was on alerL,
2. 100 SovleL MlC-13's were flylng over Syrla,
3. a 8rlLlsh Canberra bomber had been shoL down over Syrla,
4. Lhe SovleL fleeL was movlng Lhrough Lhe uardanelles.
lL ls reporLed LhaL ln Lhe uS Ceneral Cood-pasLer hlmself was concerned LhaL Lhese evenLs
mlghL Lrlgger Lhe nA1C operaLlons plan for nuclear sLrlkes agalnsL Lhe uSS8. 1he four reporLs
were all shown afLerward Lo have lnnocenL explanaLlons. 1hey were due, respecLlvely, Lo:
1. a fllghL of swans,
2. a rouLlne alr force escorL (much smaller Lhan Lhe number reporLed) for Lhe ÞresldenL of Syrla,
who was reLurnlng from a vlslL Lo Moscow,
3. Lhe Canberra bomber was forced down by mechanlcal problems,
4. Lhe SovleL fleeL was engaged ln scheduled rouLlne exerclses.
8MLWS communlcaLlon fallure
november 24, 1961. Cn Lhe nlghL of november 24, 1961, all communlcaLlon llnks wenL dead
beLween SLraLeglc Alr Command PeadquarLers (SAC PC) and norLh Amerlcan Aerospace
uefense Command (nC8Au). 1he communlcaLlon loss cuL off SAC PC from Lhe Lhree 8alllsLlc
Mlsslle Larly Warnlng SlLes (8MLWS) aL 1hule (Creenland), Clear (Alaska), and lllllngdales
(Lngland). 1here were Lwo posslble explanaLlons: elLher enemy acLlon, or Lhe colncldenLal
fallure of all Lhe communlcaLlon sysLems, whlch had redundanL and osLenslbly lndependenL
rouLes, lncludlng commerclal Lelephone clrculLs. All SAC bases ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes were
Lherefore alerLed, and 8-32 bomber crews sLarLed Lhelr englnes, wlLh lnsLrucLlons noL Lo Lake
off wlLhouL furLher orders. 8adlo communlcaLlon was esLabllshed wlLh an orblLlng 8-32 on
alrborne alerL near 1hule. lL conLacLed Lhe 8MLWS sLaLlons by radlo and could reporL LhaL no
aLLack had Laken place.
1he reason for Lhe ºcolncldenLal" fallure was Lhe redundanL rouLes for Lelephone and Lelegraph
communlcaLlon beLween SAC PC and nC8Au all ran Lhrough one relay sLaLlon ln Colorado. AL
LhaL relay sLaLlon a moLor had overheaLed and caused lnLerrupLlon of all Lhe llnes.
8-32 navlgaLlon error
AugusL 23, 1962. SAC Chrome uome alrborne alerL rouLe lncluded a leg from Lhe norLhern Llp of
Lllesmore lsland, souLhwesL across Lhe ArcLlc Ccean Lo 8arLer lsland, Alaska. Cn AugusL 23,
1962, a 8-32 nuclear-armed bomber crew made a navlgaLlonal error and flew 20 degrees Loo
far norLh. 1hey approached wlLhln 300 mlles of SovleL alrspace near Wrangel lsland, where
Lhere was belleved Lo be an lnLercepLor base wlLh alrcrafL havlng an operaLlonal radlus of 400
8ecause of Lhe rlsk of repeLlLlon of such an error, ln Lhls norLhern area where oLher checks on
navlgaLlon are dlfflculL Lo obLaln, lL was declded Lo fly a less provocaLlve rouLe ln Lhe fuLure.
Powever, Lhe necessary orders had noL been glven by Lhe Llme of Lhe Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls ln
CcLober 1962, so LhroughouL LhaL crlsls Lhe same norLhern rouLe was belng flown 24 hours a
u2 fllghLs lnLo SovleL alrspace
AugusL-CcLober 1962. u2 hlgh-alLlLude reconnalssance fllghLs from Alaska occaslonally sLrayed
unlnLenLlonally lnLo SovleL alrspace. Cne such eplsode occurred ln AugusL 1962. uurlng Lhe
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls ln CcLober 1962, Lhe u2 plloLs were ordered noL Lo fly wlLhln 100 mlles of
Cn Lhe nlghL of CcLober 26, for a reason lrrelevanL Lo Lhe crlsls, a u2 plloL was ordered Lo fly a
new rouLe, over Lhe norLh Þole, where poslLlonal checks on navlgaLlon were by sexLanL only.
1haL nlghL Lhe aurora prevenLed good sexLanL readlngs, and Lhe plane sLrayed over Lhe
ChukoLskl Þenlnsula. SovleL MlC lnLercepLors Look off wlLh orders Lo shooL down Lhe u2. 1he
plloL conLacLed hls uS command posL and was ordered Lo fly due easL Loward Alaska. Pe ran
ouL of fuel whlle sLlll over Slberla. ln response Lo hls S.C.S., uS l102-A flghLers were launched Lo
escorL hlm on hls gllde Lo Alaska, wlLh orders Lo prevenL Lhe MlCs from enLerlng uS alrspace.
1he uS lnLercepLor alrcrafL were armed wlLh nuclear mlsslles. 1hese could have been used by
any one of Lhe l102-A plloLs aL hls own dlscreLlon.
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: A SovleL saLelllLe explodes
CcLober 24, 1962. Cn CcLober 24, a SovleL saLelllLe enLered lLs own parklng orblL, and shorLly
afLerward exploded. Slr 8ernard Lovell, dlrecLor of Lhe !odrell 8ank observaLory, wroLe ln 1968:
ºhe exploslon of a 8usslan spacecrafL ln orblL durlng Lhe Cuban mlsslle crlsls.led Lhe uS Lo
belleve LhaL Lhe uSS8 was launchlng a masslve lC8M aLLack." 1he nC8Au Command ÞosL logs
of Lhe daLes ln quesLlon remaln classlfled, posslbly Lo conceal reacLlon Lo Lhe evenL. lLs
occurrence ls recorded, and uS space Lracklng sLaLlons were lnformed on CcLober 31 of debrls
resulLlng from Lhe breakup of º62 8L1A lC1A."
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: lnLruder ln uuluLh
CcLober 23, 1962. Around mldnlghL on CcLober 23, a guard aL Lhe uuluLh SecLor ulrecLlon
CenLer saw a flgure cllmblng Lhe securlLy fence. Pe shoL aL lL and acLlvaLed Lhe ºsaboLage
alarm." 1hls auLomaLlcally seL off saboLage alarms aL all bases ln Lhe area. AL volk lleld,
Wlsconsln, Lhe alarm was wrongly wlred, and Lhe klaxon sounded, whlch ordered nuclear-
armed l-106A lnLercepLors Lo Lake off. 1he plloLs knew Lhere would be no pracLlce alerL drllls
whlle uLlCCn 3 was ln force, and Lhey belleved World War lll had sLarLed.
lmmedlaLe communlcaLlon wlLh uuluLh showed Lhere was an error. 8y Lhls Llme alrcrafL were
sLarLlng down Lhe runway. A car raced from command cenLer and successfully slgnaled Lhe
alrcrafL Lo sLop. 1he orlglnal lnLruder was a bear.
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: lC8M LesL launch
CcLober 26, 1962. AL vandenburg Alr lorce 8ase, Callfornla, Lhere was a program of rouLlne
lC8M LesL-fllghLs. When uLlCCn 3 was ordered, all Lhe lC8Ms were flLLed wlLh nuclear
warheads, excepL one 1lLan mlsslle LhaL was scheduled for a LesL launch laLer LhaL week. 1haL
one was launched for lLs LesL, wlLhouL furLher orders from WashlngLon, aL 4 a.m. on Lhe 26Lh.
lL musL be assumed LhaL 8usslan observers were monlLorlng uS mlsslle acLlvlLles as closely as
uS observers were monlLorlng 8usslan and Cuban acLlvlLles. 1hey would have known of Lhe
general changeover Lo nuclear warheads, buL noL LhaL Lhls was only a LesL launch.
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: unannounced 1lLan mlsslle launch
CcLober 26, 1962. uurlng Lhe crlsls, some radar warnlng sLaLlons LhaL were under consLrucLlon
and near compleLlon were broughL lnLo full operaLlon as qulckly as posslble. 1he planned
overlap of coverage was Lhus noL always avallable.
A normal LesL launch of a 1lLan-ll lC8M Look place ln Lhe afLernoon of CcLober 26, from llorlda
Lo Lhe SouLh Þaclflc. lL caused Lemporary concern aL MooresLown radar slLe unLll lLs course
could be ploLLed, showlng no predlcLed lmpacL wlLhln Lhe unlLed SLaLes. lL was noL unLll afLer
Lhls evenL LhaL Lhe poLenLlal for a serlous false alarm was reallzed, and orders were glven LhaL
radar warnlng slLes musL be noLlfled ln advance of LesL launches, and Lhe counLdown be relayed
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: MalmsLrom Alr lorce 8ase
CcLober 26, 1962. When uLlCCn 2 was declared on CcLober 24, solld-fuel MlnuLeman-1
mlsslles aL MalmsLrom Alr lorce 8ase were belng prepared for full deploymenL. 1he work was
acceleraLed Lo ready Lhe mlsslles for operaLlon, wlLhouL walLlng for Lhe normal handover
procedures and safeLy checks. When one sllo and mlsslle were ready on CcLober 26, no armed
guards were avallable Lo cover LransporL from Lhe separaLe sLorage, so Lhe launch-enabllng
equlpmenL and codes were all placed ln Lhe sllo. lL was Lhus physlcally posslble for a slngle
operaLor Lo launch a fully-armed mlsslle aL a LargeL deslgnaLed under SlCÞ (Slngle lnLegraLed
uurlng Lhe remalnlng perlod of Lhe crlsls, Lhe several mlsslles aL MalmsLrom were repeaLedly
puL on and off alerL as errors and defecLs were found and correcLed. lorLunaLely, no
comblnaLlon of errors caused or LhreaLened an unauLhorlzed launch, buL ln Lhe exLreme
Lenslon of Lhe perlod, Lhe danger can be well lmaglned.
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: nA1C readlness
CcLober 1962. lL ls recorded LhaL on CcLober 22, 8rlLlsh Þrlme MlnlsLer Parold Macmlllan and
nA1C Supreme Commander Ceneral Laurls norsLad agreed noL Lo puL nA1C on alerL ln order Lo
avold provoklng Lhe uSS8. When Lhe uS !olnL Chlefs of SLaff ordered uLlCCn 3, norsLad was
auLhorlzed Lo use hls dlscreLlon ln complylng. norsLad dld noL order a nA1C alerL. Powever,
several nA1C subordlnaLe commanders dld order alerLs Lo uLlCCn 3 or equlvalenL levels of
readlness aL bases ln WesL Cermany, lLaly, 1urkey, and unlLed klngdom. 1hls seems largely due
Lo Lhe acLlon of Ceneral 1ruman Landon, Commander ln Chlef of uS Alr lorces Lurope, who
already had sLarLed alerL procedures on CcLober 17 ln anLlclpaLlon of a serlous crlsls over Cuba.
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: 8rlLlsh alerLs
CcLober 1962. When Lhe uS SLraLeglc Alr Command wenL Lo uLlCCn 2 on CcLober 24, 8omber
Command (Lhe uk) was carrylng ouL an unrelaLed readlness exerclse. Cn CcLober 26, Alr
Marshall Cross, Commander ln Chlef of 8omber Command, declded Lo prolong Lhe exerclse
because of Lhe Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls, and laLer lncreased Lhe alerL sLaLus of 8rlLlsh nuclear forces,
so LhaL Lhey could launch ln flfLeen mlnuLes.
lL seems llkely LhaL SovleL lnLelllgence would percelve Lhese moves as parL of a coordlnaLed
plan ln preparaLlon for lmmedlaLe war. 1hey could noL be expecLed Lo know LhaL nelLher Lhe
8rlLlsh MlnlsLer of uefense nor Þrlme MlnlsLer Macmllllan had auLhorlzed Lhem.
lL ls dlsLurblng Lo noLe how llLLle was learned from Lhese errors ln Lurope. naLlonal SecurlLy
Advlsor McCeorge 8undy wroLe ln uanger and Survlval LhaL ºLhe rlsk [of nuclear war] was small,
glven Lhe prudence and unchallenged flnal conLrol of Lhe Lwo leaders."
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: MooresLown false alarm
CcLober 28, 1962. !usL before 9 a.m. on CcLober 28, Lhe MooresLown, new !ersey, radar
operaLors lnformed Lhe naLlonal command posL LhaL a nuclear aLLack was under way. A LesL
Lape slmulaLlng a mlsslle launch from Cuba was belng run, and slmulLaneously a saLelllLe came
over Lhe horlzon.
CperaLors became confused and reporLed by volce llne Lo nC8Au PC LhaL lmpacL was expecLed
elghLeen mlles wesL of 1ampa aL 9:02 a.m. 1he whole of nC8Au was lnformed, buL before
lrrevocable acLlon had Laken place, lL was reporLed LhaL no deLonaLlon had occurred aL Lhe
predlcLed Llme, and MooresLown operaLors reporLed Lhe reason for Lhe false alarm.
uurlng Lhe lncldenL, overlapplng radars LhaL should have conflrmed or dlsagreed were noL ln
operaLlon. 1he radar posL had noL recelved rouLlne lnformaLlon of saLelllLe passage because Lhe
faclllLy carrylng ouL LhaL Lask had been glven oLher work for Lhe duraLlon of Lhe crlsls.
Cuban Mlsslle Crlsls: lalse warnlng due Lo saLelllLe
CcLober 28, 1962. AL 3:26 p.m. on CcLober 28, Lhe Laredo radar warnlng slLe had [usL become
operaLlonal. CperaLors mlsldenLlfled a saLelllLe ln orblL as Lwo posslble mlsslles over Ceorgla
and reporLed by volce llne Lo nC8Au PC. nC8Au was unable Lo ldenLlfy LhaL Lhe warnlng came
from Lhe new sLaLlon aL Laredo and belleved lL Lo be from MooresLown, and Lherefore more
rellable. MooresLown falled Lo lnLervene and conLradlcL Lhe false warnlng. 8y Lhe Llme Lhe
Commander of nC8Au had been lnformed, no lmpacL had been reporLed and Lhe warnlng was
ºglven low credence."
1he Þenkovsky false warnlng
november 2, 1962. ln Lhe fall of 1962, Colonel Cleg Þenkovsky was worklng wlLh Lhe SovleLs as
a double agenL for Lhe ClA. Pe had been glven a code by whlch Lo warn Lhe ClA lf he was
convlnced LhaL a SovleL aLLack on Lhe unlLed SLaLes was lmmlnenL. Pe was Lo call Lwlce, one
mlnuLe aparL, and only blow lnLo Lhe recelver. lurLher lnformaLlon was Lhen Lo be lefL aL a
ºdead drop" ln Moscow.
1he pre-arranged code message was recelved by Lhe ClA on november 2, 1962.
lL was known aL Lhe ClA LhaL Þenkovsky had been arresLed on CcLober 22. Þenkovsky knew he
was golng Lo be execuLed. lL ls noL known wheLher he had Lold Lhe kC8 Lhe meanlng of Lhe
code slgnal or only how lL would be glven, nor ls lL known exacLly why or wlLh whaL
auLhorlzaLlon Lhe kC8 sLaff used lL. When anoLher ClA agenL checked Lhe dead drop, he was
Þower fallure and faulLy bomb alarms
november 1963. Speclal bomb alarms were lnsLalled near mlllLary faclllLles and near clLles ln
Lhe uS, so LhaL Lhe locaLlons of nuclear bursLs would be LransmlLLed before Lhe expecLed
communlcaLlon fallure. 1he alarm clrculLs were seL up Lo dlsplay a red slgnal aL command posLs
Lhe lnsLanL LhaL Lhe flash of a nuclear deLonaLlon reached Lhe sensor and before Lhe blasL puL lL
ouL of acLlon. normally Lhe dlsplay would show a green slgnal, or yellow lf Lhe sensor was noL
operaLlng or was ouL of communlcaLlon for any oLher reason.
uurlng Lhe commerclal power fallure ln Lhe norLheasLern unlLed SLaLes ln november 1963,
dlsplays from all Lhe bomb alarms for Lhe area should have shown yellow. ln facL, Lwo of Lhem
from dlfferenL clLles showed red because of clrculL errors. 1he effecL was conslsLenL wlLh Lhe
power fallure belng due Lo nuclear weapons exploslons, and Lhe Command CenLer of Lhe Cfflce
of Lmergency Þlannlng wenL on full alerL. ApparenLly Lhe mlllLary dld noL.
8-32 crash near 1hule
!anuary 21, 1968. CommunlcaLlon beLween nC8Au PC and Lhe 8MLWS sLaLlon aL 1hule,
Creenland, had 3 elemenLs:
1. dlrecL radlo communlcaLlon,
2. a ºbomb alarm," as descrlbed above,
3. radlo communlcaLlon relayed by a 8-32 bomber on alrborne alerL.
Cn !anuary 21, 1968, a flre broke ouL ln Lhe 8-32 bomber on alrborne alerL near 1hule. 1he plloL
prepared for an emergency landlng aL Lhe base. Powever, Lhe slLuaLlon deLerloraLed rapldly,
and Lhe crew had Lo bale ouL. 1here had been no Llme Lo communlcaLe wlLh SAC PC, and Lhe
plloLless plane flew over Lhe 1hule base before crashlng lnLo Lhe lce seven mlles offshore. lLs
fuel and Lhe hlgh exploslve componenL of lLs nuclear weapons exploded, buL Lhere was no
AL LhaL Llme, Lhe ºone polnL safe" condlLlon of Lhe nuclear weapons could noL be guaranLeed,
and lL ls belleved LhaL a nuclear exploslon could have resulLed from accldenLal deLonaLlon of
Lhe hlgh exploslve Lrlgger. Pad Lhere been a nuclear deLonaLlon even aL seven mlles dlsLanL,
and cerLalnly much nearer Lhe base, all Lhree communlcaLlon meLhods would have glven an
lndlcaLlon conslsLenL wlLh a successful nuclear aLLack on boLh Lhe base and Lhe 8-32 bomber.
1he bomb alarm would have shown red, and Lhe oLher Lwo communlcaLlon paLhs would have
gone dead. lL would hardly have been anLlclpaLed LhaL Lhe comblnaLlon could have been caused
by accldenL, parLlcularly as Lhe map of Lhe rouLes for 8-32 alrborne fllghLs approved by Lhe
ÞresldenL showed no fllghL near 1hule. 1he rouLe had been apparenLly changed wlLhouL
lnformlng Lhe WhlLe Pouse.
lalse alarm durlng Mlddle LasL crlsls
CcLober 24-23, 1973. Cn CcLober 24, 1973, when Lhe un-sponsored cease-flre lnLended Lo end
Lhe Arab-lsraell war was ln force, furLher flghLlng sLared beLween LgypLlan and lsraell Lroops ln
Lhe Slnal deserL. uS lnLelllgence reporLs and oLher sources suggesLed LhaL Lhe uSS8 was
plannlng Lo lnLervene Lo proLecL Lhe LgypLlans. ÞresldenL nlxon was ln Lhe Lhroes of WaLergaLe
and noL avallable for a conference, so klsslnger and oLher uS offlclals ordered uLlCCn 3. 1he
consequenL movemenLs of alrcrafL and Lroops were of course observed by SovleL lnLelllgence.
1he purpose of Lhe alerL was noL Lo prepare for war buL Lo warn Lhe uSS8 noL Lo lnLervene ln
Lhe Slnal. Powever, lf Lhe followlng accldenL had noL been prompLly correcLed, Lhe SovleL
command mlghL have had a more dangerous lnLerpreLaLlon.
Cn CcLober 23, whlle uLlCCn 3 was ln force, mechanlcs were repalrlng one of Lhe klaxons aL
klnchole Alr lorce 8ase, Mlchlgan, and accldenLally acLlvaLed Lhe whole base alarm sysLem. 8-
32 crews rushed Lo Lhelr alrcrafL and sLarLed Lhe englnes. 1he duLy offlcer recognlzed Lhe alarm
as false and recalled Lhe crews before any Look off.
CompuLer exerclse Lape
november 9, 1979. AL 8:30 a.m. on november 9, 1979, duLy offlcers aL four command cenLers
(nC8Au PC, SAC Command ÞosL, Lhe ÞenLagon naLlonal MlllLary Command CenLer, and Lhe
AlLernaLe naLlonal MlllLary Command CenLer) all saw on Lhelr dlsplays a paLLern showlng a large
number of SovleL mlsslles ln a full-scale aLLack on Lhe uS. uurlng Lhe nexL slx mlnuLes,
emergency preparaLlons for reLallaLlon were made. A number of Alr lorce planes were
launched, lncludlng Lhe ÞresldenL's naLlonal Lmergency Alrborne Command ÞosL, Lhough
wlLhouL Lhe ÞresldenL! ÞresldenL CarLer had noL been lnformed, perhaps because he could noL
no aLLempL was made Lo use Lhe hoLllne elLher Lo ascerLaln Lhe SovleL lnLenLlons or Lo Lell Lhe
SovleLs Lhe reasons for uS acLlons. 1hls seems Lo me Lo have been culpable negllgence. 1he
whole purpose of Lhe hoLllne was Lo prevenL exacLly Lhe Lype of dlsasLer LhaL was LhreaLenlng
aL LhaL momenL.
WlLh commendable speed, nC8Au was able Lo conLacL Lhe Alr lorce's ÞAvL ÞAWS early
warnlng radar and learn LhaL no mlsslles had been reporLed. Also, Lhe sensors on Lhe saLelllLes
were funcLlonlng LhaL day and had deLecLed no mlsslles. ln only slx mlnuLes Lhe LhreaL
assessmenL conference was LermlnaLed.
1he reason for Lhe false alarm was an exerclse Lape runnlng on Lhe compuLer sysLem. uS
SenaLor Charles Þercy happened Lo be ln nC8Au PC aL Lhe Llme and ls reporLed Lo have sald
Lhere was absoluLe panlc. A quesLlon was asked ln Congress, and Lhe Ceneral AccounLlng Cfflce
conducLed an lnvesLlgaLlon. An off-slLe LesLlng faclllLy was consLrucLed so LhaL LesL Lapes dld noL
ln Lhe fuLure have Lo be run on a sysLem LhaL could be ln mlllLary operaLlon.
laulLy compuLer chlp
!une 1980. 1he warnlng dlsplays aL Lhe Command CenLers menLloned ln Lhe lasL eplsode
lncluded wlndows LhaL normally showed:
0000 lC8Ms deLecLed 0000 SL8Ms deLecLed
AL 2:23 a.m. on !une 3, 1980, Lhese dlsplays sLarLed showlng varlous numbers of mlsslles
deLecLed, represenLed by 2's ln place of one or more 0's. ÞreparaLlons for reLallaLlon were
lnsLlLuLed, lncludlng nuclear bomber crews sLarLlng Lhelr englnes, Lhe launchlng of Þaclflc
Command's Alrborne Command ÞosL, and Lhe readylng of MlnuLeman mlsslles for launch. lL
was noL dlfflculL Lo assess LhaL Lhls was a false alarm because Lhe numbers dlsplayed were noL
Whlle Lhe cause of LhaL false alarm was sLlll belng lnvesLlgaLed Lhree days laLer, Lhe same Lhlng
happened, and agaln preparaLlons were made for reLallaLlon. 1he cause was a slngle faulLy chlp
LhaL was falllng ln a random fashlon. 1he baslc deslgn of Lhe sysLem was flawed, allowlng Lhls
slngle fallure Lo cause a decepLlve dlsplay aL several command posLs. 1he followlng lncldenL ls
added Lo lllusLraLe LhaL even now, afLer Lhe Cold War, errors can sLlll cause for concern. 1hls
parLlcular one could have hardly broughL nuclear reLallaLlon, buL Lhere are sLlll 30,000 nuclear
weapons deployed, and Lwo nuclear weapon sLaLes could geL lnLo a hosLlle adversarlal sLaLus
8usslan false alarm
!anuary 1993. Cn !anuary 23, 1993, Lhe 8usslan early warnlng radar deLecLed an unexpecLed
mlsslle launch near SplLzbergen. 1he esLlmaLed fllghL Llme Lo Moscow was flve mlnuLes. 1he
8usslan ÞresldenL, Lhe uefense MlnlsLer, and Lhe Chlef of SLaff were lnformed. 1he early
warnlng and Lhe conLrol and command cenLer swlLched Lo combaL mode. WlLhln flve mlnuLes,
radar deLermlned LhaL Lhe mlsslle's lmpacL would be ouLslde Lhe 8usslan borders.
1he mlsslle was norweglan, and was launched for sclenLlflc measuremenLs. Cn !anuary 16,
norway had noLlfled 33 counLrles, lncludlng 8ussla, LhaL Lhe launch was planned. lnformaLlon
had apparenLly reached Lhe 8usslan uefense MlnlsLry, buL falled Lo reach Lhe on-duLy personnel
of Lhe early warnlng sysLem.
CommenL and noLe on ÞrobablllLy
1he probablllLy of acLual progresslon Lo nuclear war on any one of Lhe occaslons llsLed may
have been small, due Lo planned ºfallsafe" feaLures. Powever, Lhe accumulaLlon of small
probablllLles of dlsasLer from a long sequence of rlsks add up Lo serlous danger.
1here ls no way of Lelllng whaL Lhe acLual level of rlsk was ln Lhese mlshaps, buL lf Lhe chance of
dlsasLer ln every one of Lhe 20 lncldenLs had been only one ln 100, lL ls a maLhemaLlcal facL LhaL
Lhe chance of survlvlng all 20 would have been 82° (l.e., abouL Lhe same as Lhe chance of
survlvlng a slngle pull of Lhe Lrlgger aL 8usslan rouleLLe played wlLh a slx-shooLer). WlLh a slmllar
serles of mlshaps on Lhe SovleL slde: anoLher pull of Lhe Lrlgger. lf Lhe rlsk ln some of Lhe evenLs
had been as hlgh as one ln Len, Lhen Lhe chance of survlvlng [usL seven such evenLs would have
been less Lhan 30-30.
© 1998-2004 nuclear Age Þeace loundaLlon.
8eproducLlon of maLerlal ls encouraged. Þlease
acknowledge source and provlde loundaLlon
conLacL lnformaLlon ln all coples.
nuclear Age Þeace loundaLlon
1187 CoasL vlllage 8oad, SulLe 1, ÞM8 121
SanLa 8arbara CA 93108-2794
13 nuclear 1esLs 1haL Spread
8adlaLlon lnLo Clvlllan Areas
lrom SepLember 1961 Lo SepLember 1992, Lhe unlLed SLaLes mlllLary conducLed 824 nuclear
LesLs. Cf Lhese, 433 released radloacLlve maLerlal lnLo Lhe area surroundlng Lhe lmmedlaLe
deLonaLlon slLe. ln 32 such lncldenLs, Lhe aLomlc parLlcles drlfLed ouLslde of Lhe enLlre LesLlng
area (usually Lhe nevada 1esL 8ange) and lnLo clvlllan areas.
uaLe: SepLember 13, 1961 (flrsL known LesL ln whlch radlaLlon leaked offslLe)
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 2.6 klloLons
LengLh of release: unknown
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: º21.1 mlles norLheasL of Lhe [uncLlon of Plghway 6 and
Plghway 23 (nevada)"
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 28 plcocurles [ ulablo, nevada
uaLe: uecember 10, 1961
LocaLlon: Carlsbad, new Mexlco
8omb yleld: 3.0 klloLons
LengLh of release: ºLarge flow" for 30 mlnuLes, ºsmall flow" unLll Lhe followlng day
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: 8oswell, new Mexlco
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 160 plcocurles [ lMCC Mlne, new Mexlco
uaLe: March 1, 1962
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 9.3 klloLons
LengLh of release: 20 mlnuLes
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: Sand Sprlngs valley, nevada
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 1,700 plcocurles [ Þenoyer, nevada
uaLe: Aprll 14, 1962
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 1.83 klloLons
LengLh of release: noL speclfled
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: º28.1 mlles norLheasL of CurranL, nevada"
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 34,000 plcocurles [ Cueen ClLy SummlL, nevada
uaLe: !uly 6, 1962
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 104 klloLons
LengLh of release: noL speclfled
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: near McClll, nevada
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 13,000 plcocurles [ ulablo, nevada
uaLe: !uly 11, 1962
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 300 Lons
LengLh of release: noL speclfled
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: 11 mlles norLheasL of Lockes, nevada
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 23,000 plcocurles [ 1wln Sprlngs 8anch, nevada
uaLe: !uly 14, 1962
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: ºlow"
LengLh of release: noL speclfled
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: ºseven mlles souLh of Þarowan, uLah, on Plghway 143"
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 140,000 plcocurles [ Llko, nevada
uaLe: CcLober 19, 1962
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 12.3 klloLons
LengLh of release: flve mlnuLes
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: 14.3 mlles souLh of Shoshone, Callfornla
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 32,000 plcocurles [ ueaLh valley !uncLlon, Callfornla
1hls LesL was noL Lechnlcally a nuclear exploslon. 8aLher, lL was more along Lhe llnes of whaL we
now call a ºdlrLy bomb." 1he uS and 8rlLlsh mlllLarles wanLed Lo sLudy dlspersal of radloacLlve
parLlcles, so Lhey dld Lhe loglcal Lhlng: CuL ln Lhe open, Lhey used convenLlonal exploslves Lo
scaLLer pluLonlum Lo Lhe four wlnds.
uaLe: May 13, 1963
LocaLlon: nellls Alr lorce 8ange (ad[acenL Lo Las vegas)
8omb yleld: n/A
LengLh of release: n/A
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: noL speclfled
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: ºAlpha acLlvlLy deLecLed on alr samplers aL 8eaLLy, nevada and
ScoLLy's !uncLlon, nevada"
uaLe: uecember 18, 1970
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 10 klloLons
LengLh of release: 24 hours
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: AusLln, nevada, alLhough, ln a seemlng conLradlcLlon, Lhe
mlllLary reporLed: ºparLs of Lhe [nuclear] cloud moved over nevada, uLah, and Wyomlng,
anoLher fracLlon moved Lowards Callfornla."
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 3,400 plcocurles [ SLone Cabln 8anch, nevada
uaLe: Aprll 6, 1983
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: under 20 klloLons
LengLh of release: ºconLrolled venLllaLlon" occurred from Lwo and a half Lo four days laLer
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: 8eed 8anch 8oad, nevada, 8achel, nevada
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: ºno radlaLlon lnLenslLles above background levels were deLecLed."
(1hen how was Lhe radlaLlon deLecLed ln 8eed 8anch 8oad and 8achel?)
uaLe: March 22, 1986
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: 29 klloLons
LengLh of release: unspeclfled lengLh on March 27
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: LaLhrop Wells, nevada.
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: noL speclfled
uaLe: Aprll 10, 1986 (lasL known LesL ln whlch radlaLlon leaked offslLe)
LocaLlon: nevada 1esL SlLe
8omb yleld: under 20 klloLons
LengLh of release: lrom Aprll 22 Lo May 19, elghL ºconLrolled venLllaLlons" were performed
larLhesL locaLlon radlaLlon deLecLed: ºno radlaLlon lnLenslLles above background were
MosL radlaLlon deLecLed: 430±13 plcocurles [ Medllns 8anch, nevada
LlS1 37 46 nuclear 1esLs by Lhe uS
1he nuclear prlesLhood has a LradlLlon of glvlng lnLeresLlng names Lo LesL deLonaLlons of aLomlc
weapons. CfLen, Lhey're named afLer anlmals, food, SouLhwesLern clLles, naLlve Amerlcan
Lrlbes, and everyday ob[ecLs. MosL are preLLy mundane, buL ouL of Lhe hundreds of LesLs, a few
monlkers are memorable. Some reveal gallows humor (uead, 8ye, and CalamlLy), whlle oLhers
seem darkly humorous only ln reLrospecL (8ummy, Waco). Many wlll make your mouLh waLer
(8rle, ChocolaLe, Clnnamon, and Cognac), and sLlll oLhers make me wonder whaL else was
happenlng aL Lhe nevada 1esL SlLe (Sappho, Cllmax).
ueparLmenL of Lnergy phoLo of Lhe Cllmax LesL deLonaLlon.
21. ulluLed WaLers
24. Cum urop
31. 8ed PoL
32. 1lny 1oL
34. ulamond uusL
33. ulana MlsL
36. uldo Cueen
44. Mldas MyLh
46. PunLers 1rophy
number of Clvlllans kllled by 8omblng uurlng World War ll 8rlLaln: over 60,300
Cermany: 370,000 Lo 800,000
!apan: 442,000 Lo 1,000,000 or more
33 names of uefense ueparLmenL
unllke almosL all oLher governmenL agencles and offlces, Lhe lnspecLor Ceneral of Lhe uefense
ueparLmenL sLlll uses lmaglnaLlve names for lLs lnvesLlgaLlons.
1. CperaLlon LlecLrlc Avenue
2. CperaLlon 8rown 8ag
3. CperaLlon Cobra nesL
4. CperaLlon AfLerglow
3. CperaLlon 8ad 8ack
6. CperaLlon kaboom
7. Þro[ecL knoLdock
8. CperaLlon 8ad Cas
9. CperaLlon Coldbrlck
10. CperaLlon Shrlnkwrap
11. Þro[ecL Mongoose
13. CperaLlon 8usLed ureams
14. CperaLlon 1reasure 1rolls
13. CperaLlon WlnglL
16. Þro[ecL Lxcess
17. CperaLlon 8lg looL
18. Þro[ecL Crank Call
19. Þro[ecL Lasy Þlcklngs
20. CperaLlon AquaknoL
21. Þro[ecL Can'L 8e
22. Þro[ecL CrypLo nlghL
23. CperaLlon klll-uare
24. CperaLlon klck Lhe Can
23. Þro[ecL ueadpool
26. Þro[ecL 8ack Crlflce 2000
27. CperaLlon 1he CrafL
28. Þro[ecL Walk Along
29. CperaLlon Chosen ÞaLh
30. Þro[ecL 8lue Lagoon
31. Þro[ecL: x-llles
32. CperaLlon Pack ln Lhe 8ox
33. CperaLlon Cold CoaL
1he lnvesLlgaLlons llsLed above have been closed ln Lhe pasL few years. lf you'd llke Lo flnd ouL
more abouL any of Lhem, wrlLe a leLLer menLlonlng Lhe lreedom of lnformaLlon AcL and asklng
for Lhe flnal reporL and/or closlng memo on whlchever lnvesLlgaLlons Llckle your fancy. MenLlon
how much you're wllllng Lo pay. Mall, fax, or emall lL Lo:
lnspecLor Ceneral, ueparLmenL of uefense
lreedom of lnformaLlon AcL & Þrlvacy
400 Army navy urlve, 8oom 223
ArllngLon, vlrglnla 22202-4704
1hanks Lo Mlchael 8avnlLzky
13 Þrograms lrom uA8ÞA's
uefuncL lnformaLlon Awareness
AfLer 9/11, Lhe uefense Advanced 8esearch Þro[ecLs Agency (uA8ÞA)-Lhe group LhaL develops
Lechnology for Lhe mlllLary and homeland defense-formed Lhe lnformaLlon Awareness Cfflce.
1he lAC's mosL famous pro[ecL was 1oLal lnformaLlon Awareness, a sysLem Lo gaLher and
lnLerpreL ln real-Llme Lhe acLlvlLles of whomever Lhe governmenL wanLed Lo waLch. 1he man ln
charge was lran-conLra felon Admlral !ohn ÞolndexLer.
1he lAC sLarLed backLracklng as soon as Lhe publlc, Lhe press, and prlvacy waLchdogs expressed
alarm. llrsL, Lhe blographles of ÞolndexLer and Lhe oLher senlor sLaff of Lhe lAC dlsappeared
from Lhe webslLe. 1hen Lhe lAC's famously creepy logo-a Masonlc pyramld wlLh an eye
shooLlng a beam LhaL envelops Lhe LarLh-was pulled. 1hen 1lA was changed Lo 1errorlsm
lnformaLlon Awareness. nexL, Congress ouLlawed fundlng for Lhe program (ln name
only-slmllar pro[ecLs under a dlfferenL monlker could be, and probably are, funded). llnally, ln
laLe 2003, uA8ÞA scrapped Lhe enLlre lnformaLlon Awareness Cfflce. A few of lLs programs
were Lransferred Lo uA8ÞA's lnformaLlon Þrocesslng 1echnology Cfflce. 8elow are all Lhe
pro[ecLs LhaL lAC was worklng on, wlLh offlclal descrlpLlons from Lhe webslLe before lL was
º1he goal of Lhe 8abylon program ls Lo develop rapld, Lwo-way, naLural language speech
LranslaLlon lnLerfaces and plaLforms for Lhe warflghLer for use ln fleld envlronmenLs for force
proLecLlon, refugee processlng, and medlcal Lrlage. 8abylon wlll focus on overcomlng Lhe many
Lechnlcal and englneerlng challenges llmlLlng currenL mulLlllngual LranslaLlon Lechnology Lo
enable fuLure full-domaln, unconsLralned dlalog LranslaLlon ln mulLlple envlronmenLs." 1he flrsL
four languages Lo be Lackled were ÞashLo, uarl, Arablc, and Mandarln.
º1he goal of Lhe 8lo-Survelllance program ls Lo develop Lhe necessary lnformaLlon Lechnologles
and resulLlng proLoLype capable of deLecLlng Lhe coverL release of a blologlcal paLhogen
auLomaLlcally, and slgnlflcanLly earller Lhan LradlLlonal approaches.. 1he 8lo-Survelllance
program wlll dramaLlcally lncrease uou's ablllLy Lo deLecL a clandesLlne blologlcal warfare
aLLack ln Llme Lo respond effecLlvely and so avold poLenLlally Lhousands of casualLles. 1he 8lo-
Survelllance program ls seeklng Lo achleve lLs ob[ecLlve by monlLorlng non-LradlLlonal daLa
sources such as anlmal senLlnels, behavloral lndlcaLors, and pre-dlagnosLlc medlcal daLa."
º1he speclflc goal of Lhe CommunlcaLor program ls Lo develop and demonsLraLe 'dlalogue
lnLeracLlon' Lechnology LhaL enables warflghLers Lo Lalk wlLh compuLers, such LhaL lnformaLlon
wlll be accesslble on Lhe baLLlefleld or ln command cenLers wlLhouL ever havlng Lo Louch a
keyboard. 1he CommunlcaLor ÞlaLform wlll be wlreless and moblle, and wlll funcLlon ln a
neLworked envlronmenL. SofLware enabllng dlalogue lnLeracLlon wlll auLomaLlcally focus on Lhe
conLexL of a dlalogue Lo lmprove performance, and Lhe sysLem wlll be capable of auLomaLlcally
adapLlng Lo new Loplcs so conversaLlon ls naLural and efflclenL."
ºPands-on exerclses have been conducLed lnvolvlng small unlL loglsLlcs operaLlons wlLh Lhe
Marlnes deslgned Lo sLress LesL Lhe Lechnology ln exLreme envlronmenLs."
LffecLlve, Affordable, 8eusable Speech-Lo-1exL (LA8S)
º1he LffecLlve Affordable 8eusable Speech-1o-1exL (LA8S) program ls developlng speech-Lo-
LexL (auLomaLlc LranscrlpLlon) Lechnology whose ouLpuL ls subsLanLlally rlcher and much more
accuraLe Lhan currenLly posslble. 1hls wlll make lL posslble for machlnes Lo do a much beLLer [ob
of deLecLlng, exLracLlng, summarlzlng, and LranslaLlng lmporLanL lnformaLlon. lL wlll also enable
humans Lo undersLand whaL was sald by readlng LranscrlpLs lnsLead of llsLenlng Lo audlo slgnals.
LA8S ls focuslng on naLural, unconsLralned human-human speech from broadcasLs and
Lelephone conversaLlons ln mulLlple languages."
Lvldence LxLracLlon and Llnk ulscovery (LLLu)
º1he goal of Lhe Lvldence LxLracLlon and Llnk ulscovery (LLLu) program ls developmenL of
Lechnologles and Lools for auLomaLed dlscovery, exLracLlon and llnklng of sparse evldence
conLalned ln large amounLs of classlfled and unclasslfled daLa sources. LLLu ls developlng
deLecLlon capablllLles Lo exLracL relevanL daLa and relaLlonshlps abouL people, organlzaLlons,
and acLlvlLles from message Lrafflc and open source daLa. lL wlll llnk lLems relaLlng poLenLlal
LerrorlsL groups or scenarlos, and learn paLLerns of dlfferenL groups or scenarlos Lo ldenLlfy new
organlzaLlons or emerglng LhreaLs."
ºLLLu's lnlLlal acLlvlLles demonsLraLed Lhe feaslblllLy of exLracLlng relaLlonshlps from LexL, and
valldaLed Lhe deLecLablllLy of paLLerns represenLlng LerrorlsL groups and scenarlos."
luLures MarkeLs Applled Lo ÞredlcLlon (luLureMap)
ºluLureMAÞ wlll concenLraLe on markeL-based Lechnlques for avoldlng surprlse and predlcLlng
fuLure evenLs. SLraLeglc declslons depend upon Lhe accuraLe assessmenL of Lhe llkellhood of
fuLure evenLs. 1hls analysls ofLen requlres lndependenL conLrlbuLlons by experLs ln a wlde
varleLy of flelds, wlLh Lhe resulLlng dlfflculLy of comblnlng Lhe varlous oplnlons lnLo one
assessmenL. MarkeL-based Lechnlques provlde a Lool for produclng Lhese assessmenLs.
º1here ls poLenLlal for appllcaLlon of markeL-based meLhods Lo analyses of lnLeresL Lo Lhe uou
[ueparLmenL of uefense]. 1hese may lnclude analysls of pollLlcal sLablllLy ln reglons of Lhe
world, predlcLlon of Lhe Llmlng and lmpacL on naLlonal securlLy of emerglng Lechnologles,
analysls of Lhe ouLcomes of advanced Lechnology programs, or oLher fuLure evenLs of lnLeresL
Lo Lhe uou. ln addlLlon, Lhe rapld reacLlon of markeLs Lo knowledge held by only a few
parLlclpanLs may provlde an early warnlng sysLem Lo avold surprlse."
º1he Cenlsys program's goal ls Lo produce Lechnology enabllng ulLra-large, all-source
lnformaLlon reposlLorles. 1o predlcL, Lrack, and preempL LerrorlsL aLLacks, Lhe uS requlres a full-
coverage daLabase conLalnlng all lnformaLlon relevanL Lo ldenLlfylng: poLenLlal forelgn LerrorlsLs
and Lhelr posslble supporLers, Lhelr acLlvlLles, prospecLlve LargeLs, and, Lhelr operaLlonal plans.
CurrenL daLabase Lechnology ls clearly lnsufflclenL Lo address Lhls need."
ºÞro[ecL Cenoa ls developlng lnformaLlon Lechnology for Lhe lnLelllgence communlLy Lo rapldly
and sysLemaLlcally accumulaLe evldence, faclllLaLe collaboraLlon (whlle proLecLlng crlLlcal
lnformaLlon), and LesL hypoLhesls LhaL supporL declslon-maklng aL Lhe naLlonal level. 8ases on
successful demonsLraLlons, Lhe uefense lnLelllgence Agency has agreed Lo be a LranslLlon
parLner for Þro[ecL Cenoa Lechnology."
ºlL wlll focus on developlng lnformaLlon Lechnology needed by Leams of lnLelllgence analysLs
and operaLlons and pollcy personnel ln aLLempLlng Lo anLlclpaLe and preempL LerrorlsL LhreaLs
Lo uS lnLeresLs..
ºCenoa ll wlll develop and deploy: 1) cognlLlve alds LhaL allow humans and machlnes Lo 'Lhlnk
LogeLher' ln real-Llme abouL compllcaLed problems, 2) means Lo overcome Lhe blases and
llmlLaLlons of Lhe human cognlLlve sysLem, 3) 'cognlLlve ampllflers' LhaL help Leams of people
rapldly and fully comprehend compllcaLed and uncerLaln slLuaLlons, and, 4) Lhe means Lo
rapldly and seamlessly cuL across-and complemenL-exlsLlng sLove-plped hlerarchlcal
organlzaLlonal sLrucLures by creaLlng dynamlc, adapLable, peer-Lo-peer collaboraLlve neLworks."
Puman lu aL a ulsLance (Pumanlu)
º1he goal of Lhe Puman ldenLlflcaLlon aL a ulsLance (Pumanlu) program ls Lo develop
auLomaLed blomeLrlc ldenLlflcaLlon Lechnologles Lo deLecL, recognlze and ldenLlfy humans aL
greaL dlsLances. 1hese Lechnologles wlll provlde crlLlcal early warnlng supporL for force
proLecLlon and homeland defense agalnsL LerrorlsL, crlmlnal, and oLher human-based LhreaLs,
and wlll prevenL or decrease Lhe success raLe of such aLLacks agalnsL uou operaLlonal faclllLles
and lnsLallaLlons. MeLhods for fuslng blomeLrlc Lechnologles lnLo advanced human
ldenLlflcaLlon sysLems wlll be developed Lo enable fasLer, more accuraLe and unconsLralned
ldenLlflcaLlon of humans aL slgnlflcanL sLandoff dlsLances."
1he Lhree maln modes of auLomaLlc ldenLlflcaLlon planned were face recognlLlon (lncludlng
long-range and lnfrared), lrls recognlLlon, and galL recognlLlon. 1hls lasL would lnvolve uslng
radar Lo analyze Lhe way a person walks and l.u. Lhem based on LhaL. 1hls form of 8lg
8roLherlsm was accuraLely predlcLed by Ceorge Crwell ln 1984.
1oLal lnformaLlon Awareness SysLem
º1he goal of Lhe 1oLal lnformaLlon Awareness (1lA) program ls Lo revoluLlonlze Lhe ablllLy of Lhe
unlLed SLaLes Lo deLecL, classlfy and ldenLlfy forelgn LerrorlsLs-and declpher Lhelr plans-and
Lhereby enable Lhe uS Lo Lake Llmely acLlon Lo successfully preempL and defeaL LerrorlsL acLs.
1o LhaL end, Lhe 1lA program ob[ecLlve ls Lo creaLe a counLer-Lerrorlsm lnformaLlon sysLem
LhaL: (1) lncreases lnformaLlon coverage by an order of magnlLude, and affords easy fuLure
scallng, (2) provldes focused warnlngs wlLhln an hour afLer a Lrlggerlng evenL occurs or an
evldence Lhreshold ls passed, (3) can auLomaLlcally queue analysLs based on parLlal paLLern
maLches and has paLLerns LhaL cover 90° of all prevlously known forelgn LerrorlsL aLLacks, and,
(4) supporLs collaboraLlon, analyLlcal reasonlng and lnformaLlon sharlng so LhaL analysLs can
hypoLheslze, LesL and propose Lheorles and mlLlgaLlng sLraLegles abouL posslble fuLures, so
declslon-makers can effecLlvely evaluaLe Lhe lmpacL of currenL or fuLure pollcles and
prospecLlve courses of acLlon."
1ransllngual lnformaLlon ueLecLlon, LxLracLlon and SummarlzaLlon
º1he 1ransllngual lnformaLlon ueLecLlon, LxLracLlon and SummarlzaLlon (1luLS) program ls
developlng advanced language processlng Lechnology Lo enable Lngllsh speakers Lo flnd and
lnLerpreL crlLlcal lnformaLlon ln mulLlple languages wlLhouL requlrlng knowledge of Lhose
Wargamlng Lhe AsymmeLrlc LnvlronmenL (WAL)
º1he goal of Lhe Wargamlng Lhe AsymmeLrlc LnvlronmenL (WAL) program ls Lhe developmenL
and demonsLraLlon of predlcLlve Lechnology Lo beLLer anLlclpaLe and acL agalnsL LerrorlsLs. WAL
ls a revoluLlonary approach Lo ldenLlfy predlcLlve lndlcaLors of aLLacks by and Lhe behavlor of
speclflc LerrorlsLs by examlnlng Lhelr behavlor ln Lhe broader conLexL of Lhelr pollLlcal, culLural
and ldeologlcal envlronmenL.
º1esL resulLs have demonsLraLed Lhe feaslblllLy of developlng auLomaLed and adapLlve behavlor
predlcLlon models Luned Lo speclflc LerrorlsL groups and lndlvlduals. Speclflcally, WAL has
developed, ln con[uncLlon wlLh uou and Lhe lnLelllgence communlLy, lndlcaLlons and warnlng
models for selecL LerrorlsL lndlvlduals and organlzaLlons. 1hese lndlcaLlon and warnlng models
have been LesLed hlsLorlcally, and ln some cases operaLlonally, Lo predlcL an acLlve LerrorlsL
group's nexL acLlon (aLLack/no aLLack, LargeL characLerlsLlcs, locaLlon characLerlsLlcs, LacLlcal
characLerlsLlcs, Llmeframes, and moLlvaLlng facLors), and LesL resulLs have been shown Lo be
sLaLlsLlcally slgnlflcanL. 1o daLe, several models have been LranslLloned Lo uou and Lhe
lnLelllgence CommunlLy parLners. WAL wlll exLend lLs predlcLlve Lechnology research Lo model
a larger seL of LerrorlsL groups and lndlvlduals, and wlll sLrlve Lo lncrease Lhe level of deLall for
each predlcLlve model."
40 uS lnLervenLlons ln LaLln
Amerlca ln Lhe 1800s
1he uS dldn'L become a world power unLll afLer World War l, buL was a hemlspherlc power for
much of Lhe nlneLeenLh cenLury. lndeed, uS Lroops pald regular vlslLs Lo LaLln Amerlca
LhroughouL Lhe 1800s ln order Lo proLecL Amerlcan prlvaLe properLy and Lrade rouLes, Lo LhwarL
posLcolonlal revoluLlonarles, and someLlmes [usL Lo avenge ºlnsulLs" of varlous sorLs. 1he
Amerlcan resource-sLreLchlng lmperlallsm we see Loday can be found ln mlnlaLure here.
1823. Whlle Lhe uS was noL yeL a world power, ÞresldenL !ames Monroe noneLheless declared
Lhe uS Lhe sole mlllLary proLecLor of Lhe WesLern Pemlsphere agalnsL Luropean powers.
1833. uS Lroops Lo 8uenos Alres Lo proLecL asseLs durlng lnsurrecLlon.
1833-1836. Marlnes Lo Þeru durlng aLLempLed revoluLlon.
1833-1836. 1exas declared lndependence from Mexlco, Sam PousLon defeaLed Mexlcan
Army ln 8aLLle of San !aclnLo on Aprll 21, 1836, leadlng Lo lndependenL, whlLe-ruled 8epubllc of
1843. 1exas annexed Lo Lhe uS by muLual agreemenL, over Mexlcan and 8rlLlsh ob[ecLlons.
1846-1848. AfLer wlnnlng Lhe presldenLlal elecLlon parLlally based on promlses Lo brlng
Cregon and Callfornla under Amerlcan conLrol, !ames Þolk preclplLaLed Lhe Mexlcan-Amerlcan
War. 1he uS occupled Mexlco ClLy and compelled Mexlco Lo surrender roughly half of lLs
LerrlLory. 1he Mexlcan Cesslon conslsLed of presenL-day Callfornla, nevada, and uLah, plus parLs
of Arlzona, Colorado, new Mexlco, and Wyomlng.
1830-1833. uS and 8rlLaln slgned Lhe ClayLon-8ulwer 1reaLy, whlch broughL Lhe Lwo powers
LogeLher ln managlng Lrade across Lhe nlcaraguan lsLhmus. nlcaragua was noL consulLed ln Lhls
LreaLy, whlch superceded an 1849 uS-nlcaragua LreaLy glvlng uS buslnessman Cornellus
vanderbllL excluslve rlghLs Lo LranslL rouLes. uS and 8rlLlsh lnLeresLs reLalned conLrol over Lrade
rouLes, leadlng Lo clvll war among nlcaragua's ellLe.
1832-1833. Marlnes back ln 8uenos Alres Lo proLecL asseLs durlng anoLher revoluLlon.
1834. uS sloop-of-war Cyane shells nlcaraguan Lown of San !uan del norLe afLer resldenLs
mock an Amerlcan dlplomaL and refuse Lo pay resLlLuLlon for damage Lo Amerlcan-held asseLs.
1833-1837. Amerlcan Wllllam Walker lnvaded nlcaragua wlLh a mercenary army and
conquered Lhe naLlon. 1he uS recognlzed Lhe Walker-lnsLalled puppeL governmenL of ÞaLrlclo
8lva, laLer Walker lnsLalled hlmself as ÞresldenL, legallzed slavery, and requesLed annexaLlon Lo
Lhe uS as a slave sLaLe. Pe was expelled by a vanderbllL-backed coallLlon. ln uecember, uS
Marlnes capLured Walker and broughL hlm back Lo Lhe uS. Commodore Plram Þauldlng was
forced lnLo reLlremenL for headlng up LhaL mlsslon.
1833. uS naval forces spenL four days ln uruguay guardlng Amerlcan asseLs durlng aLLempLed
revoluLlon ln MonLevldeo.
1836. uS Lroops dlspaLched Lo whaL ls now Þanama Lo proLecL ALlanLlc-Þaclflc rallroad asseLs
afLer Amerlcan !ack Cllver sLeals a sllce of waLermelon from a vendor and sLarLs a brawl LhaL
Lurns lnLo Lhe rloL known as Lhe WaLermelon War.
1836. laclng soll depleLlon and agrlculLural dlsasLer, Lhe uS passed Lhe Cuano lsland AcL,
allowlng for Lhe annexaLlon of any unlnhablLed lsland ln Lhe world, so long as lL has large
supplles of blrd wasLe for exporL. nlneLy-four lslands, some around LaLln Amerlca, were
ulLlmaLely selzed. nlne guano lslands remaln uS LerrlLory aL Lhe presenL.
1838. 1wo uS warshlps landed Lroops ln MonLevldeo, uruguay, durlng anoLher aLLempLed
1839. uS warshlps performed a show of force on Þaraguay's Þarana 8lver afLer an aLLack on a
uS naval vessel.
1839. uS Lroops crossed Mexlcan border ln pursulL of legendary bandlL and former SouLh
1exas uemocraLlc ÞarLy boss !uan CorLlna. CorLlna had ralded 8rownsvllle, 1exas, freed some
Mexlcan prlsoners, and declared Lhe º8epubllc of Lhe 8lo Crande" aL a nearby ranch.
1860. uS Lroops were dlspaLched Lo Lhe 8ay of Þanama Lo proLecL uS asseLs durlng a sLruggle
for Þanamanlan lndependence.
1861 and 1862. Colombla requesLed presence of uS Lroops ln Þanama on Lwo occaslons,
prlmarlly Lo proLecL Amerlcan-owned rall and Lrade asseLs.
1863. 8ack Lo Þanama, proLecLlng uS asseLs durlng a very shorL-llved revoluLlon (March 9 and
1866. Ceneral Sedgwlck and 100 soldlers occupled MaLamoras, Mexlco, for Lhree days for no
parLlcular reason. uS demanded Sedgwlck's wlLhdrawal.
1867. uS Marlnes occupled Managua and Leon ln nlcaragua.
1868. uS Lroops proLecLed Amerlcan cusLomhouse durlng anoLher lnsurrecLlon ln MonLevldeo.
1868. uS Lroops Lo Asplnwall, Colombla, Lo proLecL Lravelers durlng crlsls afLer deaLh of
1870. uS shlps chased plraLes flylng a Salvadoran flag lnLo Mexlcan waLers on Lhe 8lo 1ecapan.
1wo Amerlcans were kllled ln Lhe baLLle.
1873. uS Lroops were senL Lo Þanama agaln durlng confllcL beLween Þanamanlan facLlons and
Lhe Colomblan governmenL, sans Colomblan or Þanamanlan requesL or assenL ln May. ln
SepLember, Lroops landed Lo proLecL rallroad durlng local rloL.
1873. uS Lroops repeaLedly crossed Lhe Mexlcan border Lo hunL caLLle Lhleves and bandlLs.
Some crosslngs, lncludlng Lhe 8emollna lncurslon ln May, may noL have been auLhorlzed by Lhe
1873. uS Lroops crossed Lhe Mexlcan border Lo hunL bandlLs, geLLlng lnLo a dusL-up wlLh Lhe
Mexlcan mlllLary aL Las Cuevas.
1876. uS Lroops Lo MaLamoras, Mexlco, afLer Lown governmenL collapses.
1876. uS and Mexlcan Lroops played fooLsle along border over Lhe bandlL lssue.
1880. uS shlps Lo lsland of Clare (Mexlco) ln Culf of Callfornla Lo proLecL properLy of Amerlcan
1883. uS Lroops agaln were senL Lo Colon, Þanama, for a slngle day ln !anuary Lo proLecL ralls
and goods ln LranslL. ln March, afLer an uprlslng ln Colon, Marlnes landed and marched Lo
Þanama ClLy. Colombla acceded Lo Lhe lnLervenLlon afLer lL was a flaL accompll.
1890. uS Lroops Lo ArgenLlna Lo proLecL 8uenos Alres consulaLe.
1891. uS Lroops Lo Chlle Lo defend consulaLe, AugusL 28-30. Cn CcLober 16, a confronLaLlon
beLween a crowd of angry locals and sallors asslgned Lo Lhe uSS 8alLlmore lead ÞresldenL
Parrlson Lo conslder war.?
1894. uS navy flexed muscle ln 8lo de !anelro afLer rebelllous 8razlllan naval unlLs lnLerfere
1894. 1roops summered ln Lhe 8lueflelds reglon of nlcaragua durlng local unresL.
1893. AfLer local auLhorlLles glve permlsslon, Lwo days spenL ln 8ocas del 1oro, Colombla,
guardlng Amerlcan asseLs durlng an assaulL on Lhe Lown by well-organlzed bandlLs. naval
vessels sLayed ln Lhe area for a monLh afLer Lhe Marlnes were pulled back.
1896. 1wo days ln CorlnLo, nlcaragua, durlng rloLs.
1898. 1wo days ln San !uan del Sur, nlcaragua, proLecLlng Amerlcan asseLs durlng local unresL.
1898. 1he Spanlsh-Amerlcan War. under ulysses S. CranL, Lhe uS avolded becomlng embrolled
ln Cuba, even afLer revoluLlonary Carlos Manuel de Cespedes wroLe a consLlLuLlon annexlng Lhe
lsland Lo Lhe uS ln 1869. Powever, by Lhe 1890s, Lhe closlng of Lhe WesLern fronLler,
lndusLrlallzaLlon, and mass culLure, along wlLh an exLenslve hlsLory of smaller lnLervenLlons, seL
Lhe sLage for a confllcL wlLh Spaln. ?ellow press reporLs from publlsher Wllllam 8andolph PearsL
and oLhers fueled Lhe flre for war. AfLer Lhe probably accldenLal desLrucLlon of Lhe uSS Malne,
whlch was blamed on a Spanlsh mlne, war was declared, evenLually leadlng uS Lroops Lo
lnLervene ln Cuba, Lhe Þhlllpplnes, ÞuerLo 8lco, and Cuam.
1899. A mlllLary landlng, along wlLh 8rlLlsh Lroops, aL 8lueflelds and San !uan del norLe ln
nlcaragua, aL Lhe requesL of Lhe besleged nlcaraguan governmenL, whlch was LhreaLened by
lnsurrecLlonlsL Ceneral !uan 8eyes.
+ CorporaLe 8esponslblllLy
36 CorporaLlons 1haL 8lpped off
Lhe uS CovernmenL
CranLed, ln Lhese cases-lnvolvlng corporaLlons and Lhe federal governmenL-lL's hard Lo feel
sorry for Lhe aggrleved parLy, llke when a crook sLeals from a Lhlef. Crand curmudgeon P.L.
Mencken once observed LhaL ºwhen Lhe governmenL ls robbed, Lhe worsL LhaL happens ls LhaL
cerLaln rogues and loafers have less money Lo play wlLh Lhan Lhey had before." SLlll, LhaL's
Laxpayer money belng swlndled. llrsL, lL was sLolen from us clLlzens by Lhe governmenL, Lhen
lL's swlped by greedy corporaLlons, whlch wlll keep almosL all of lL slnce Lhey don'L pay nearly
Lhelr falr share of Laxes. Maybe every Aprll 13, lnsLead of maklng ouL a check Lo Lhe l8S, we
should send our lncome Lax dlrecLly Lo 1exaco, PalllburLon, or Þflzer.
1he followlng corporaLlons were prosecuLed under Lhe lalse Clalms AcL, a Clvll War-era law LhaL
speclflcally crlmlnallzes overcharglng, falsely charglng, selllng defecLlve [unk, or oLherwlse
scammlng Lhe federal governmenL or Lhe mlllLary. MosL seLLled, whlle some Look lL all Lhe way
Lo [udgmenL and losL.
PCA holds Lhe dlsgraceful dlsLlncLlon of paylng Lhe largesL flnes ever levled under Lhe lalse
Clalms AcL-noL once-buL Lwlce. ln 2000, PCA 1he PealLh Care Company seLLled for a
sLaggerlng $731.4 mllllon, Lhe blggesL amounL ln Lhe AcL's 140-year hlsLory. lL pled gullLy Lo
charges lnvolvlng bllklng Medlcare and oLher federal healLhcare programs, paylng klckbacks Lo
docLors, and clalmlng adverLlslng expenses as relmbursable publlc educaLlon expenses.1hree
years laLer, PCA, lnc. (as lL became known) forked over $631 mllllon, Lhe second largesL amounL
ever. 1hls was relaLed Lo a new crop of charges regardlng rlpplng off Medlcare, brlblng docLors,
and oLher such behavlor. Cn Lop of Lhls, PCA had Lo pay Medlcare and Medlcald an addlLlonal
2. AbboLL Labs
4. 8.l. Coodrlch
3. 8Þ Amoco
7. 8oelng Company
10. lrlgldalre/LlecLrolux Pome ÞroducLs
11. Ceneral uynamlcs
12. Ceneral LlecLrlc
14. Coldman Sachs & Co.
16. Lehman 8roLhers
17. Lockheed MarLln
18. Merrlll Lynch Þlerce lenner & SmlLh
19. Morgan SLanley & Co.
21. norLhrop Crumman
24. Þhlllps LlecLronlcs norLh Amerlca CorporaLlon
23. ÞrudenLlal SecurlLles
26. Salomon SmlLh 8arney
27. Shell Cll Company
28. SmlLhkllne 8eecham Cllnlcal LaboraLorles
29. SprlnL Corp.
30. 1AÞ ÞharmacueLlcal ÞroducLs
34. unlLed Alrllnes
36. WesLlnghouse LlecLrlc
Worker SafeLy ÞrlorlLles, parL 1Maxlmum [all senLence for causlng Lhe deaLh of a worker
by wlllful safeLy vlolaLlons: 6 monLhsMaxlmum [all senLence for ºharasslng a wlld burro on
federal lands": 12 monLhs
9 vlslLors Who uled aL
8arbara and uavld Þ. Mlkkelson, urban
Legends 8eference Þages [snopes.com ]
May 1964: Mark Maples , a flfLeen-year-old Long 8each, Callfornla, resldenL, was kllled when
he Lrled Lo sLand up on Lhe MaLLerhorn 8obsleds. Maples (or hls companlon) foollshly
unbuckled hls seaLbelL and aLLempLed Lo sLand up as Lhelr bobsled neared Lhe peak of Lhe
mounLaln. Maples losL hls balance and was Lhrown from Lhe sled Lo Lhe Lrack below, fracLurlng
hls skull and rlbs and causlng lnLernal ln[urles. Pe dled Lhree days laLer.
!une 1966: 1homas Cuy Cleveland , a nlneLeen-year-old norLhrldge, Callfornla, resldenL,
was kllled when he aLLempLed Lo sneak lnLo ulsneyland along Lhe Monorall Lrack. Cleveland
scaled Lhe park's slxLeen-fooL hlgh ouLer fence on a Crad nlLe and cllmbed onLo Lhe Monorall
Lrack, lnLendlng Lo [ump or cllmb down once lnslde Lhe park. Cleveland lgnored a securlLy
guard's shouLed warnlngs of an approachlng Monorall Lraln and falled Lo leap clear of Lhe Lrack.
Pe flnally cllmbed down onLo a flberglass canopy beneaLh Lhe Lrack, buL Lhe clearance wasn'L
enough-Lhe oncomlng Lraln sLruck and kllled hlm, dragglng hls body 30 Lo 40 feeL down Lhe
AugusL 1967: 8lcky Lee ?ama , a sevenLeen-year-old PawLhorne, Callfornla, resldenL, was
kllled when he dlsregarded safeLy lnsLrucLlons and exlLed hls Þeople Mover car as Lhe rlde was
passlng Lhrough a Lunnel. ?ama sllpped as he was [umplng from car Lo car and was crushed Lo
deaLh beneaLh Lhe wheels of oncomlng cars.
!une 1973: 8ogden uelauroL , an elghLeen-year-old 8rooklyn resldenL, drowned Lrylng Lo
swlm across Lhe 8lvers of Amerlca. uelauroL and hls Len-year-old broLher managed Lo sLay on
1om Sawyer lsland pasL lLs dusk closlng Llme by cllmblng Lhe fence separaLlng Lhe lsland from
Lhe burnlng seLLlers' cabln. When Lhey declded Lo leave Lhe lsland a few hours laLer, Lhey chose
Lo swlm across Lhe rlver raLher Lhan call aLLenLlon Lo Lhelr rule-breaklng by appeallng Lo casL
members for help. 8ecause Lhe younger broLher dld noL know how Lo swlm, uelauroL Lrled Lo
carry hlm on hls back as he swam Lo shore. 8ogden uelauroL wenL down abouL halfway across
Lhe rlver. 1he younger boy remalned afloaL by dogpaddllng unLll a rlde operaLor hauled hlm
aboard a boaL, buL 8ogden was nowhere Lo be found. Pls body was noL locaLed by searchers
unLll Lhe nexL mornlng.
!une 7, 1980: Cerardo Conzales , a recenL San ulego hlgh school graduaLe, was kllled on Lhe
Þeople Mover ln an accldenL much llke Lhe one LhaL had befallen 8lcky Lee ?ama LhlrLeen years
earller. Conzales, ln Lhe early mornlng hours of a Crad nlLe celebraLlon, was cllmblng from car
Lo car as Lhe Þeople Mover enLered Lhe SuperSpeed 1unnel ad[acenL Lo Lhe former Amerlca
Slngs bulldlng. Conzales sLumbled and fell onLo Lhe Lrack, where an oncomlng Lraln of cars
crushed hlm beneaLh lLs wheels and dragged hls body a few hundred feeL before belng sLopped
by a rlde operaLor.
!une 4, 1983: Þhlllp SLraughan , an elghLeen-year-old Albuquerque, new Mexlco, resldenL,
also drowned ln Lhe 8lvers of Amerlca ln yeL anoLher Crad nlLe lncldenL. SLraughan and a
frlend-celebraLlng boLh Lhelr graduaLlons and SLraughan's elghLeenLh blrLhday-had been
drlnklng qulLe heavlly LhaL evenlng. 1hey sneaked lnLo a ºCasL Members Cnly" area along Lhe
rlver and unLled an lnflaLable rubber malnLenance moLorboaL, decldlng Lo Lake lL for a [oyrlde
around Lhe rlver. unable Lo adequaLely conLrol Lhe boaL, Lhey sLruck a rock near 1om Sawyer
lsland, and SLraughan was Lhrown lnLo Lhe waLer. Pls frlend Lraveled back Lo shore Lo seek help,
buL SLraughan drowned long before hls body was flnally locaLed an hour laLer.
!anuary 3, 1984: uolly 8egene ?oung , a 48-year-old lremonL, Callfornla, resldenL, was kllled
on Lhe MaLLerhorn ln an lncldenL remarkably slmllar Lo Lhe flrsL ulsneyland guesL deaLh nearly
20 years earller. AbouL Lwo-Lhlrds of Lhe way down Lhe mounLaln, ?oung was Lhrown from her
seaL lnLo Lhe paLh of an oncomlng bobsled, her head and chesL becomlng plnned beneaLh lLs
wheels. An examlnaLlon of ?oung's sled revealed LhaL her seaLbelL was noL fasLened aL Lhe Llme
of Lhe accldenL, buL because she was rldlng alone ln Lhe rear car of a sled no one could
deLermlne wheLher or noL she had dellberaLely unfasLened her belL.
uecember 24, 1998: ln a Lraglc ChrlsLmas Lve accldenL, one ulsneyland casL member and Lwo
guesLs were ln[ured (one faLally) when a rope used Lo secure Lhe salllng shlp Columbla as lL
docked on Lhe 8lvers of Amerlca Lore loose Lhe meLal cleaL Lo whlch lL was aLLached. 1he cleaL
salled Lhrough alr and sLruck Lhe heads of Lwo guesLs who were walLlng Lo board Lhe shlp,
Luan Þhl uawson , 33, of uuvall, WashlngLon, and hls wlfe, Lleu 1huy vuong, 43. uawson was
declared braln-dead Lwo days laLer and dled when hls llfe-supporL sysLem was dlsconnecLed.
1hls accldenL resulLed ln Lhe flrsL guesL deaLh ln ulsneyland's hlsLory LhaL was noL aLLrlbuLable
Lo any negllgence on Lhe parL of Lhe guesL (lL was Lhe resulL of a comblnaLlon of lnsufflclenLly
rlgorous rlde malnLenance and an lnsufflclenLly experlenced supervlsor assumlng an aLLracLlon
operaLor's role) and prompLed a movemenL for greaLer governmenL overslghL of Lheme park
operaLlons and safeLy procedures.
SepLember 3, 2003: A 22-year-old man, Marcelo 1orres of Cardena, Callfornla, dled, and
several oLher guesLs were ln[ured, when a locomoLlve separaLed from lLs Lraln along a Lunnel
secLlon of 8lg 1hunder MounLaln 8allroad. 1orres bled Lo deaLh afLer sufferlng blunL force
Lrauma Lo Lhe chesL.
CorporaLe CuoLe #2 ºl don'L know LhaL smoklng causes lung cancer. lL may. lL may noL.
CerLalnly l conceded Lhe polnL LhaL smokers are more llkely Lo develop some dlseases Lhan non-
smokers."-CareLh uavls, chlef execuLlve offlcer of lmperlal 1obacco, lebruary 4, 2004 (yes, he
acLually sald Lhls, noL ln 1934, buL ln 2004).
LlS1 43 32 ClgareLLe AddlLlves
1he compleLe llsL of subsLances added Lo clgareLLes, as complled by Lhe lndlana ÞrevenLlon
8esource CenLer aL lndlana unlverslLy, conLalns 399 enLrles. 8elow are some of Lhe more
1. ambergrls LlncLure
3. amyl buLyraLe
4. apple [ulce concenLraLe, exLracL, and sklns
3. benzolc acld
8. carbon dloxlde
9. carroL oll
11. clveL absoluLe
13. cognac whlLe and green oll
13. eLhyl alcohol
16. flg [ulce concenLraLe
17. gualac wood oll
18. hexyl phenylaceLaLe
20. hops oll
21. maple syrup and concenLraLe
23. 2-meLhylhepLanolc acld
24. beLa-napLhyl eLhyl eLher
23. nuLmeg powder and oll
26. phosphorlc acld
29. 1,3,3,9-LeLrameLhyl-13-oxaLrlcy clo(184.108.40.206(4,9))Lrldecane
33 Companles 8eporLedly uolng
8uslness WlLh Lnemy naLlons
Accordlng Lo governmenL, medla, and lnvesLor reporLs, Lhe followlng companles do buslness
wlLh aL leasL one of Lhe counLrles deemed by Lhe uS Lo be an enemy sLaLe: Llbya, Cuba, norLh
korea, lran, lraq, Syrla, Sudan, Zlmbabwe, Llberla, Lhe 8alkans, and 8urma (Myanmar). lL should
be noLed LhaL ln a loL of Lhese cases, Lhe LransacLlons appear Lo be legal, elLher because a non-
uS subsldlary of Lhe company ls deallng wlLh Lhe rogue sLaLe or because Lhe 1reasury
ueparLmenL granLed a speclal llcense. ln oLher cases, Lhough, Lhe corporaLlons have been flned
for Lhelr acLlvlLles.
1. AAA 1ravel
2. Alcolac lnLernaLlonal
4. Amerlcan Lxpress 8ank
3. Amerlcan 1ype CulLure CollecLlon
6. Axel LlecLronlcs
7. 8aker Pughes
8. 8ank of Amerlca
9. 8ank of new ?ork
10. 8ank Cne
11. 8arclays 8ank
13. Canberra lndusLrles
14. Carl Zelss, lnc.
17. Chevron 1exaco
18. ClLlbank, n.A.
21. ueuLsche 8ank
22. uow Agrosclences
24. LasLman kodak
23. LlecLronlc AssoclaLes
(LnLerLalnmenL & SporLs neLwork)
27. Lxxon Moblle
28. LZ Loglc uaLa SysLems
29. llnnlgan MA1 (uS)
30. lour Seasons PoLels
31. Ceneral LlecLrlc
33. Pyundal Croup
36. lnLernaLlonal CompuLer SysLems
37. !Þ Morgan Chase
38. Leybold vacuum SysLems
39. new ?ork ?ankees
40. Þepsl Cola Co.
43. Þlayboy LnLerprlses
48. SpecLra Þhyslcs
49. Sperry Corp.
30. SLandard CharLered 8ank
32. 1l CoaLlng
33. Wells largo 8ank
1op 100 CorporaLlons Laylng off
uS Workers uue Lo nAl1A
When Lhe norLh Amerlcan lree 1rade AgreemenL was passed, we were assured LhaL lL would
creaLe aL leasL 200,000 [obs ln Lhe uS. Showlng LhaL pollLlclans llve ln a 8lzzaro world where
everyLhlng ls reversed, LhaL's approxlmaLely Lhe number of [obs Lhe uS losL due Lo nAl1A,
elLher because companles move Lhelr faclllLles Lo Mexlco or Canada, or because cheaper
lmporLs from Lhose counLrles have forced Lhe closlng of uS faclllLles.
Workers who lose Lhelr [obs because of nAl1A are ellglble Lo recelve speclal beneflLs. 1oward
Lhe end of 2003, Lhe famously non-parLlsan Congresslonal 8esearch Servlce Lallled Lhe number
of workers LhaL uS companles slgned up for Lhese beneflLs from Lhe lmplemenLaLlon of nAl1A
(on Lhe flrsL day of 1994) Lo SepLember 24, 2002.
1he llsL below represenLs Lhe 100 companles glvlng Lhe booL Lo Lhe mosL workers. 1he LoLal
comes Lo 201,414, and would be even hlgher lf companles beyond Lhe Lop 100 were lncluded.
ln Lhe ranked llsL below, Lhe number of workers follows Lhe name of each corporaLlon.
1. vanlLy lalr or vl 16,093
2. Levl SLrauss and Co. 13,676
3. 8urllngLon Pouse & lndusLrles LoLal: 9,679
4. MoLorola, lnc. 7,347
3. 1yco 3,731
6. Ceneral LlecLrlc LoLal: 3,674
7. lrulL of Lhe Loom 1exas - 3,332
8. 8ussell CorporaLlon 3,630
9. LucenL 1echnologles 3,416
10. Poneywell, lnc. 2,734
11. nlagara Mohawk Þower CorporaLlon 2,600
12. LexlngLon labrlcs 2,461
13. Anchor Class CorporaLlon 2,419
14. 8rown Croup 2,400
13. Loulslana Þaclflc 2,397
16. uana CorporaLlon 2,306
17. Lmerson LlecLronlc ConnecLor ComponenLs 2,246
18. SLroh 8rewery Company 2,222
19. 1rlnlLy lndusLrles 2,203
20. Sarah Lee 2,124
21. vlasysLems 1echnologles 2,100
22. LaLon CorporaLlon 2,032
23. 18W/AuLo LlecLronlcs Croup of norLh Amerlca 2,030
24. 1homas and 8eLLs CorporaLlon 1,987
23. nokla 1,980
26. Cxford lndusLrles 1,960
27. SolecLron CorporaLlon 1,932
28. unlLed 1echnologles CorporaLlon 1,899
29. Allled Slgnal, lnc. 1,883
30. Penry l. Slegel 1,837
31. AuLollv ASÞ 1,720
32. Paggar CloLhlng Co. 1,717
33. PewleLL Þackard 1,683
34. Coodyear 1lre and 8ubber Company 1,671
33. AMÞ, lnc. 1,634
36. 1homasLon Mllls 1,649
37. kemeL LlecLronlcs 1,631
38. lrelghLllner, LLC 1,393
39. Lockheed MarLln 1,384
40. 1ulLex CorporaLlon 1,347
41. Pasbro ManufacLurlng Servlces 1,331
42. Lxlde 1echnologles 1,470
43. ÞL lndusLrles and Subsldlary 1,446
44. lCl uSA, lnc. 1,436
43. klmberly Clark CorporaLlon 1,413
46. Woodward Covernor Company 1,390
47. lLhaca lndusLrles 1,339
48. 8egency Þacklng Company 1,334
49. Al 1ech SpeclalLy SLeel CorporaLlon 1,330
30. MasLer Lock 1,324
31. Square u CorporaLlon Croup Schnelder - 1,322
32. newell ManufacLurlng 1,308
33. Aalfs ManufacLurlng 1,276
34. MaLLel CperaLlons 1,239
33. 8org-Warner AuLomoLlve ulverslfled 1rans 1,239
36. Sola CpLlcal uSA, lnc. 1,232
37. lederal Mogul Wlper ÞroducLs 1,201
38. Pousehold ÞroducLs 1,200
39. Þlald CloLhlng Croup 1,180
60. L.C. Þhlllps ulsplay 1,163
61. MagneLek 1,160
62. !ohn ueere Consumer 1,130
63. Copper 8ange Co. 1,133
64. Sunbeam 1,130
63. Sony 1,126
66. SclenLlflc ALlanLa 1,121
67. Lear CorporaLlon 1,120
68. Champlon ÞroducLs 1,116
69. kLP lndusLrles 1,100
70. SM1C ManufacLurlng CorporaLlon of Wlsconsln 1,083
71. ZenlLh LlecLronlcs CorporaLlon 1,037
72. Crown Þaclflc LlmlLed ÞarLnershlp 1,030
73. llexel, lnc. 1,030
74. PamllLon 8each/ÞrocLor Sllex, lnc. 1,046
73. !ohnson ConLrols, lnc. 1,036
76. Culford Mllls 1,032
77. unlLed SLaLes LeaLher 1,011
78. Monon CorporaLlon 1,000
79. AmeLek LoLal: 1,000
80. Slnger lurnlLure 1,000
81. !.8. SlmploL Company 993
82. llexLronlcs lnLernaLlonal 991
83. Creenwood Mllls 991
84. Ceorgla Þaclflc WesL 966
83. CelesLlca CorporaLlon 963
86. SeLon Company 960
87. krafL loods norLh Amerlca 933
88. 8asseLL lurnlLure lndusLrles 934
89. Crove uS, LLC 930
90. C-Cor.neL 930
91. !eanereLLe Mllls 926
92. 8olse Cascade CorporaLlon 918
93. SLrlck CorporaLlon 912
94. xerox 893
93. A.C. SmlLh LlecLrlcal ÞroducLs 878
96. SmlLh Corona CorporaLlon 874
97. Slemens 874
98. MlLsublshl Consumer LlecLronlcs Amerlca 870
99. 1he 8udd Company 868
100. Cross Creek Apparel 863
Worker SafeLy ÞrlorlLles, parL 2lrom 1982 Lo 2002, number of governmenLal
lnvesLlgaLlons of workers' deaLhs: 1,798number of Lhose cases referred Lo federal or sLaLe
prosecuLors: 196number of convlcLlons: 81number of convlcLlons resulLlng ln [all Llme: 16
LlS1 46 12 LroLlc Works by Well-known
ºÞrlapeum" by vlrgll
AnclenL 8ome's greaLesL poeL, Lhe auLhor of Lhe eplc Aeneld, also wroLe Lhe poem ºÞrlapeum,"
ln whlch he chasLlses hls llmp dlck: ºCoodbye, l am forsaken, wreLched cock." Pe lamenLs LhaL
no ºLender boy" or º[olly glrl" (lL's a 8rlLlsh LranslaLlon) wlll have anyLhlng Lo do wlLh hlm,
alLhough-for reasons noL made clear-he can geL lL up for an anclenL crone wlLh lcy skln and
cobwebs around her pussy. ÞreLLy racy for Lhe flrsL cenLury 8C.
PlsLorla de duobus amanLlbus (a/k/a 1he Coodll PlsLory) by Þope Þlus ll
l covered Lhls forgoLLen gem ln my prevlous book, 30 1hlngs ?ou're noL Supposed Lo know,
much Lo Lhe dellghL of lnLervlewers who loved Lelllng Lhelr audlences abouL a flfLeenLh-cenLury
bodlce-rlpper wrlLLen by a man who would soon be Þope. lor a book wrlLLen ln 1444 (and
publlshed 44 years laLer), Lhe acLlon ls preLLy shocklng, Lhough noL Lo us [aded members of Lhe
LwenLy-flrsL cenLury. ºC falr neck and pleasanL breasLs, ls lL you LhaL l Louch? ls lL you LhaL l
have? Are you ln my hands? C round llmbs, C sweeL body, do l have you ln my arms?.C
pleasanL klsses, C dear embraces, C sweeL blLes, no man allve ls happler Lhan l am, or more
Les 8l[oux lndlscreLs by uenls ulderoL
Þhllosopher ulderoL ls known Lo hlsLory as a lynchpln of Lhe LnllghLenmenL. lor a dozen years,
he edlLed Lhe monumenLal Lncyclopedle, whlch soughL Lo codlfy and expand all knowledge aL
Lhe Llme. volLalre and 8ousseau were among Lhe conLrlbuLors. 8uL before helplng Lurbocharge
sclenLlflc and llLerary progress ln Lhe WesL, ulderoL spenL Lwo weeks wrlLlng a sexy llLLle book,
Les 8l[oux lndlscreLs (1748). 8elng a lrench genlus, he couldn'L reslsL addlng llLerary crlLlclsm
and pollLlcal saLlre Lo Lhls Lale of a 1urklsh sulLan who maglcally dlscovers Lhe sexual hlsLorles of
Lhe ladles ln hls courL. An alleged verslon was publlshed ln Lngllsh ln 1968 (as 1he 1alklng
Þussy), buL lL was much dlfferenL Lhan Lhe orlglnal.
WhlLe SLalns and oLher works by AlelsLer Crowley
Maybe lL's noL Loo surprlslng LhaL occulLlsL AlelsLer Crowley-ºLhe wlckedesL man ln Lhe
world"-wroLe a book of unapologeLlcally fllLhy poeLry, buL hls maln clalm Lo fame ls hls
numerous wrlLlngs on maglck. ln 1898, he publlshed WhlLe SLalns, brlmmlng wlLh hls raunchy,
sacrlleglous verse lnvolvlng necrophllla, besLlallLy, golden showers, shlL, S1us, !esus, and
mensLruaLlon (ºPow my dry LhroaL, held hard beLween Lhy hlps, / Shall draln Lhe moon-
wroughL flow of womanhood!"). 1he poems even have Lhelr momenLs of sLrange beauLy, as ln
ºAbysmos," when Lhe narraLor lamenLs LhaL he wlll never agaln ºblLe her llps, as once my LeeLh
/ MeL ln her cheek, Lo cull a rosy wreaLh."
1he year 1904 saw Lhe publlcaLlon of Crowley's Snowdrops from a CuraLe's Carden, abouL
whlch he laLer wroLe: ºMy ob[ecL ls noL merely Lo dlsgusL buL Lo rooL ouL ruLhlessly Lhe sense of
sln." lL's self-consclously over-Lhe-Lop, a humorous aLLempL Lo massacre every Laboo ln slghL. ln
descrlblng hls advenLurous pasL, Lhe Archblshop says:
AL Lhe greaL Cold Medal compeLlLlon of Lhe Spunk SocleLy ln 1904, l was able Lo saLlsfy no
less Lhan LwenLy-seven ladles, besldes an exhlblLlon frlg ln whlch l exLlngulshed fourLeen
candles ln slxLeen aLLempLs, Lhus Laklng Lhe elghLh prlze, and speclal menLlon as Lhe sole
represenLaLlve of my cloLh who was able Lo supporL a chlld welghlng flfLy-slx pounds on my
erecL lance-of-love alone, and Lhus accompllshlng Lhe acL of sex wlLh my hands Lled behlnd
my back. Þoor llLLle devll!
ln 1910, Crowley-uslng Lhe pseudonym Ma[or LulLy-publlshed 1he ScenLed Carden of
Abdullah Lhe SaLlrlsL of Shlraz (a/k/a 8agh-l-MuaLLar). lL was presenLed as a volume of Arablc
poeLry LranslaLed by LulLy, when acLually Crowley wroLe all Lhe verse. lL's unabashedly
homoeroLlc, as ln º1he Love-ÞoLlon":
lf Sulelman wlLh all hls concublnes lrom dusk Lo dawn consecuLlvely lay, ?eL aL Lhy buLLocks'
velveL, C Pablb, 1he man would rlse erecL from mudded clay.
Llsewhere, Crowley publlshed ºLeah Subllme," 26 verses ln whlch he splLs fllLhy commands aL
hls degraded and degradlng lover:
SLab your demonlcal
Smlle Lo my braln!
Soak me ln cognac
CunL and cocalne,
Sprawl on me! SlL
Cn my mouLh, Leah, shlL!
As poeLry, lL's noL Lhe greaLesL, buL lL works as eroLlca malnly because Crowley [usL dldn'L glve a
raL's ass abouL any klnd of proprleLy or correcLness.
varlous novels by 8oberL Sllverberg
Pere we have Lhe flrsL of many sclence flcLlon glanLs who Look pen and penls ln hand Lo wrlLe
one-handed maLerlal. 1he prollflc wlnner of flve nebula awards and flve Pugos, whlle Lrylng Lo
make ends meeL, cranked ouL almosL 200 eroLlc pulp and sLroke novels, almosL all beLween
1960 and 1967. Pe mosL ofLen used Lhe name uon LllloL when speed-wrlLlng such nuggeLs as
1he 8ra Þeddlers, A Change for Lhe 8edder, Cousln Lover, ulal C-8-C-?, uyke ulary, Les lloozles,
kepL Man, Love 8ums, 1he Crgy 8oys, Sex-Leen, 1lll Love uo us ÞarL, and 26 LlLles beglnnlng
wlLh Lhe word Sln.
uurlng Lhls Llme, Sllverberg also wroLe slxLeen nonflcLlon books abouL sex under varlous
pseudonyms. 1lLles lnclude 90° of WhaL ?ou know AbouL Sex ls Wrong, l Am a nymphomanlac,
Sex and Lhe Armed lorces, and vlrgln Wlves.
lmage of Lhe 8easL and 8lown by Þhlllp !ose larmer
larmer ls one of Lhe blg names of sclence flcLlon. Pls besL-known works are Lwo serles:
8lverworld and World of 1lers. 8esldes havlng won Lhree Pugo awards and one nebula (Lhe
Crand MasLer Award), larmer ls credlLed wlLh lnLroduclng sex lnLo sclence flcLlon ln 1960-61
wlLh llesh, A Woman a uay, and 1he Lovers, all of whlch are exLraordlnarlly Lame by Loday's
sLandards. WhaL's noL Lame-and probably never wlll be vlewed as such-are Lhe eroLlc
Sl/horror books LhaL he wroLe ln Lhe laLe 1960s.
lmage of Lhe 8easL was Lhe flrsL of Lhese, openlng wlLh a scene LhaL wlll llve ln lnfamy: Þollce
are waLchlng a homemade fllm LhaL was anonymously malled Lo Lhem. ln lL, one of Lhelr
deLecLlves, Lled down, has hls cock blLLen off by a woman wlLh razor-sharp meLal LeeLh. 1he
penlsless man's deLecLlve parLner, Perald Chllde, deLermlnes Lo flnd Lhe people responslble for
gruesomely kllllng hls parLner. lL Lurns ouL LhaL Lhey're a bunch of vamplres, werewolves,
ghosLs, and oLher sLrange belngs. 8eally sLrange.
ln one of Lhe mosL memorable scenes, Chllde ls ln a secreL passageway of Lhe manslon LhaL
serves as Lhe headquarLers for Lhe welrdos. Looklng Lhrough a one-way mlrror, he sples Lhe
lncredlbly beauLlful vlvlenne masLurbaLlng. 8uL Lhen ºa Llny Lhlng, llke a slender whlLe Longue,
spurLed from Lhe sllL. lL was noL a Longue. lL was more llke a snake or an eel." 1hls long, Lhln
creaLure wlLh smooLh, whlLe skln llves ln Lhe woman's womb and comes ouL durlng sexual
acLlvlLy. lLs head, Lhe slze of a golfball, ºwas bald excepL for a frlnge of oll-plasLered black halr
around Lhe Llny ears. lL had Lwo Lhln buL weL-black eyebrows and a weL black MephlsLophelean
mousLache and beard." 1he vaglna-snake wlLh a man's face puLs lLs head ln Lhe woman's open
mouLh, slldlng ln and ouL. 1he woman appears Lo have a long, vlolenL orgasm, and Lhe sLrange
belng wlLhdraws, wlLh a ºLhlck whlLlsh fluld" leaklng from lLs mouLh. lL Lhen reLreaLs back lnLo
Lhe woman's womb.
ln Lhe sequel, 8lown, we flnd ouL LhaL Lhe varlous belngs are Lwo groups of allens sLranded on
earLh. Cne facLlon draws lLs power from sex, Lhe oLher from blood. Chllde, lL [usL so happens, ls
Lhe only person who can geL Lhe space creaLures back Lo Lhelr home world by drawlng on hls
sexual energy. Pe Lakes parL ln an orgy wlLh Lhe allens, and whlle vlvlenne ls blowlng hlm,
anoLher man yanks Lhe pseudosnake ouL of her vaglna:
vlvlenne fell aparL. Chllde sLood wlLh her head beLween hls hands and hls penls ln her
mouLh. 1he eyes sLared up aL hlm wlLh a vloleL flre, and Lhe llps and Longue kepL on sucklng
and LhrusLlng. 1he oLher parLs of her body, havlng goLLen onLo Lhelr legs, began Lo scuLLle
around Lhe room. 1he blg black who had been sucked off by vlvlenne plcked up Lhe many-
legged cunL and sLuck lL on Lhe end of hls cock and began slldlng lL back and forLh. 1he
cunL's legs klcked as lf lL were havlng an orgasm.
larmer's Lwo oLher venLures lnLo welrdcore are A leasL unknown, feaLurlng 1arzan and uoc
Savage, and Lhe goLhlc horror Love Song.
1he Cas by Charles ÞlaLL
ÞlaLL ls a hard guy Lo pln down. Pe's wrlLLen some well-recelved sclence flcLlon, such as 1he
Slllcon Man, plus a loL of arLlcles on cyber-Loplcs ln Cmnl, Wlred, and malnsLream newspapers.
1hen Lhere are hls numerous lnLervlews wlLh legendary sclence flcLlon wrlLers and hls ChrlsLlna
eroLlc horror Lrllogy. 8efore ChrlsLlna, Lhough, Lhere was 1he Cas. ln Lhls ouLrageous novel from
1970, an experlmenLal blowarfare gas leaks ln SouLhern Lngland, causlng people's lnhlblLlons Lo
vaporlze and Lhelr mosL prlmal urges Lo surge Lo Lhe forefronL. A nonsLop carnlval of sex,
vlolence, and comblnaLlons Lhereof ensues. Lveryone ls falr game for Lhe unleashed lusL and
bloodlusL-men, women, chlldren, anlmals, prlesLs and nuns, corpses, lmmedlaLe famlly
ln one scene, a passlng car spuLLers ouL, and lLs drlver-a young punk-angrlly hops ouL.
8epeaLedly screamlng ºfuck you!" aL hls rlde, he geLs an ldea. AfLer Laklng Lhe cap off Lhe gas
Pe pulled ouL hls prlck. ºl'll make you fucklng go," he muLLered. ºluck you, fuck Lhls!" Pe
lunged forward, [ammlng hls prlck lnLo Lhe plpe, and sLarLed fucklng lL wlLh crude angry
movemenLs. Pe groaned, spurLlng [lsm down lnLo lL, whlpped hls prlck ouL, zlpped hls [eans
up agaln. vlncenL waLched hlm Lrudge back Lo Lhe fronL of Lhe car, open Lhe door and geL ln.
Pe sLarLed Lhe englne, revved lL, drove off down Lhe sLreeL and ouL of slghL.
1he novel could never be publlshed ln lLs orlglnal form Loday, whlch ls why even bad-boy
publlsher Loompanlcs-when relssulng 1he Cas ln 1993-cuL ouL a loL of Lhe forbldden sex
1he 8epenLance of Lorralne by Andrel Codrescu
1hose of us used Lo hearlng Lhe hlghly llLeraLe, 8omanlan-accenLed LhoughLs of Andrel
Codrescu on naLlonal Þubllc 8adlo mlghL be a llLLle shocked Lo flnd ouL abouL hls porn novel,
1he 8epenLance of Lorralne (orlglnally publlshed under Lhe pseudonym Ames Clalre).
We wlll, however, be less shocked when we read lL and flnd LhaL Lhe hlghly accompllshed
auLhor, poeL, and essaylsL has applled hls lnLellecLual power Lo Lhe Lask of wrlLlng an expllclL
buL psychologlcally convlnclng novel abouL a Lrlad of a male buddlng wrlLer, a female buslness
sLudenL, and a female professor. ?ou don'L see much porn peppered wlLh words llke
ºcurvlllnearly," ºpedagogue," ºpeLlL-bourgeols," and ºPuysmanesque non sequlLur."
noL LhaL lL lsn'L en[oyable. Codrescu ls wlLLy and regularly uses memorable Lurns of phrase:
ºColllne ls vlrglnal, ln LhaL sexy lrench-nun way", ºShe exuded sexuallLy and mysLery llke an
orlenLal sLage seL", whlle looklng aL Lwo naked women holdlng each oLher: º1he vlew of Lhelr
Lwo graceful backs, buLLocks and legs ls my coaL of arms." 1here's humor LhroughouL, and
Lhlngs geL downrlghL hllarlous when, whlle Lhe Lhreesome ls ln Þarls, Lorralne ls kldnapped by a
lefL-wlng LerrorlsL group, from whom she learns abouL ºLhe people's orgasm."
When Lhe wrlLer and Lhe prof have Lhelr flrsL encounLer: ºl unbuLLoned Lhe Lop of her loose
garmenL, and her beauLlful breasLs bounded lnLo vlew, her nlpples subllmely erecL. lL ls
unforLunaLe, buL naLure has decreed LhaL one breasL musL be chosen flrsL over Lhe oLher. l
chose Lhe lefL. 8eglnnlng aL Lhe ouLermosL edge, my Longue cllmbed Loward Lhe plnk aureole ln
Lhe mlddle of whlch Lhe nlpple rose. A fllcker of my Longue would seL Lhls shelkhdom on flre."
1he narraLor commenLs on Lhe second Llme all Lhree of Lhem geL LogeLher: º1he frenzy of a
bacchanalla selzed us. We made love Lo each oLher ln a Llmeless furor. 1hls prolonged acLlvlLy
(lL was mldnlghL when we flnally sLopped Lo order a plzza) broughL Lo Lhe surface Lhe amazlng
facL of our absoluLe compaLlblllLy. We flL lnLo each oLher llke a Lhree-way lock. Cur pleasures
flLLed LogeLher aL Lhelr [agged edges as descrlbed by Lhe ConLlnenLal urlfL 1heory."
8eflecLlng on Lhe 1973 novel 20 years laLer, Codrescu sald LhaL lL was wrlLLen purely ºfor
money," yeL he dldn'L wanL Lo wrlLe a sLroke novel. ºl felL LhaL sex was LranscendenLal, whlch ls
Lo say, unLranslaLable. WhaL made Lhe flesh rlse was preclsely whaL sank Lhe page." WlLh lLs sex
scenes far beLween and Loo shorL, 8epenLance ls meanL more for Lhe cerebrum Lhan Lhe
1he 8eauLy Lrllogy by Anne 8lce
AfLer maklng a name wlLh her debuL novel 1he vamplre Chronlcles, and ln Lhe mldsL of wrlLlng
1he vamplre LesLaL, Anne 8lce publlshed Lhree eroLlc SM novels, one each year from 1983 Lo
1983. under Lhe pseudonym A.n. 8oquelaure-so as noL Lo allenaLe her fans-she works an
eroLlc reLelllng of Lhe Sleeplng 8eauLy falryLale, wlLh 8eauLy becomlng Lhe wllllng submlsslve of
Lhe Þrlnce who awakens her. 1he Lhree books-1he Clalmlng of Sleeplng 8eauLy, 8eauLy's
ÞunlshmenL, and 8eauLy's 8elease-are generally regarded as excellenL eroLlc llL. All Lhree have
now been lssued under 8lce's real name and are easlly avallable.
Also easy Lo obLaln are Lhe Lwo eroLlc novels 8lce orlglnally wroLe under Lhe pseudonym Ann
8ampllng. 8ellnda ls really mlslabeled as eroLlc, slnce Lhere's almosL no onsLage sex, buL 8lce
does venLure lnLo forbldden LerrlLory wlLh Lhls sLory of Lhe love affalr beLween a man and a
sllghLly underage glrl. LxlL Lo Lden ls llLeraLe SM LhaL was all buL rulned by Pollywood. 1he
porLlons of Lhe fllm LhaL are falLhful Lo Lhe book are qulLe good, and seelng Lhls love sLory
beLween a domlnanL woman and her male slave ls preLLy radlcal. 1oo radlcal for Lhe sLudlo
execs, who ham-flsLedly lnserLed a hackneyed deLecLlve ploL feaLurlng 8osle C'uonnell and uan
Aykroyd, so as noL Lo frlghLen Lhe proles Loo much wlLh all Lhe whlps and chalns. 1he fllm would
be much beLLer lf some rogue vldeographer would make an unauLhorlzed edlL-a la 1he
ÞhanLom Menace-ln whlch all Lhe deLecLlve scenes are lefL on Lhe cuLLlng room floor llke Lhe
Lrash LhaL Lhey are.
Þornucopla and 1he Maglcal larL by Þlers AnLhony
CerLalnly one of Lhe mosL prollflc wrlLers of Sl and fanLasy, AnLhony has wrlLLen many serles,
lncludlng xanLh, whlch now lncludes almosL 30 volumes. A loL of hls novels are Llnged wlLh
playful 1&A, buL he wenL balls-ouL ln a couple of hls books. Þornucopla was orlglnally wrlLLen
for Þlayboy Þress, buL Lhey re[ecLed lL as ºLoo gross for words." 1hey were probably expecLlng
malnsLream porn ln scl-fl cloLhlng and had Lo plck Lhelr [aws off Lhe floor afLer readlng Lhls
lnsanely lmaglnaLlve, expllclL novel, whlch somehow manages Lo reLaln Lhe humor and
llghLhearLedness of Lhe xanLh works.
1he ploL revolves around Þrlor Cross, who has an unclrcumclsed dlck LhaL measures 3.97 lnches
when erecL. As lL Lurns ouL, Lhe smegma LhaL Þrlor's penls produces has curaLlve properLles, and
Lhls makes hls organ Lhe LargeL of an abducLlon by Lhe beauLlful docLor 1anLamounL Lmdee.
1he resL of Lhe novel focuses on Þrlor's aLLempLs Lo regaln hls pllfered gland. AnLhony has
commenLed LhaL when wrlLlng Lhls book, he Lrled Lo break every Laboo he could Lhlnk of, even
Lhose of Lhe eroLlc publlshlng lndusLry lLself. lndeed, Þornucopla brazenly venLures lnLo such
verboLen areas as smegma, vu, small penls slze, besLlallLy, clrcumclslon, Lampon lnserLlon, and
a Lhree-pronged prosLheLlc penls(?!):
CublleLLe goL on her hands and knees agaln and presenLed her handsome posLerlor.
ºSLaLlons, men," she sald. Seelng her Lhere, Þrlor flnally reallzed whaL Lhls welrd dlvlded
member was for. 1he Lwo small penlses llfLed as hls hoL blood fllled Lhem. Pe came aL her as
he had Lhe prlor nlghL, buL wlLh a dlfference. Pe had Lhree members Lo lnserL. 1he long one
passed beLween her legs and curved by her falllng breasLs Lo reach her mouLh. 1he Lwo
lesser ones prodded slmulLaneously aL her vaglna and anus. lL was Lrlcky geLLlng Lhem
allgned, buL wlLh paLlence and sLeady nerves, he made lL.
1he Maglc larL caLches up wlLh Þrlor a year afLer recoverlng hls cock. A succubus Lells hlm LhaL
hls dream woman-Lhe one he's desLlned Lo marry-has been abducLed Lo larLlngale, and he
has one week Lo rescue her. As you may have surmlsed by now, Lhls sequel adds a record
amounL of LolleL humor Lo Lhe mlx, ln Lhe Llme-honored llLerary LradlLlon of Chaucer, 8abelals,
SwlfL, 1waln, and 8en[amln lranklln.
ln Lhe land of larLlngale, people break wlnd as a greeLlng, make Lhelr bulldlngs ouL of drled shlL,
engage ln llLeral plsslng conLesLs, and communlLy llfe cenLers around a glganLlc cenLral publlc
baLhroom (Lhe homes ln larLlngale have no prlvaLe loos). LllmlnaLory funcLlons and sexual
funcLlons are enLwlned. As a female characLer Lells Þrlor whlle seduclng hlm: ºlolks who poop
LogeLher, whoop LogeLher. We have shared shlL."
Ponorable MenLlon 1: 1wo speeches by Mark 1waln
1waln's love of Lweaklng convenLlon shows up mosL sLrongly ln some of hls rarer wrlLlngs on
rellglon, farLlng, and sex. ln Lhe laLLer caLegory we flnd hls speech ºSome 1houghLs on Lhe
Sclence of Cnanlsm," ln whlch he devlllshly propounds on masLurbaLlon:
Cf all Lhe varlous klnds of sexual lnLercourse, Lhls has Lhe leasL Lo recommend lL. As an
amusemenL, lL ls Loo fleeLlng, as an occupaLlon, lL ls Loo wearlng, as a publlc exhlblLlon,
Lhere ls no money ln lL. lL ls unsulLed Lo Lhe drawlng room, and ln Lhe mosL culLured socleLy
lL has long been banlshed from Lhe soclal board. lL has aL lasL, ln our day of progress and
lmprovemenL, been degraded Lo broLherhood wlLh flaLulence.
Scarcer sLlll ls hls speech º1he MammoLh Cod Club," ln whlch he glves several faceLlous reasons
why he won'L [oln. 1he fourLh one belng:
Largeness of organ ls proof poslLlve LhaL lL has been culLlvaLed. 1he blacksmlLh geLs an
enormous arm by consLanLly exerclslng LhaL llmb, and l suppose a man by consLanLly uslng
hls prlvaLe member wlll lncrease Lhe slze of lL. Membershlp ln your SocleLy ls a confesslon
Ponorable MenLlon 2: 1he love leLLers of !ames !oyce
LlLerary glanL !ames !oyce desLroyed and redeflned every noLlon of whaL a novel could be wlLh
hls sLream-of-consclousness masLerworks ulysses and llnnegans Wake. !oyce wasn'L [usL an
experlmenLallsL on paper, Lhough. Pe was preLLy klnky ln Lhe sack. AlLhough hls works sLlrred
up Lrouble because of some racy passages, lL's hls leLLers Lo hls common-law wlfe nora 8arnacle
LhaL are downrlghL fllLhy. So fllLhy, ln facL, LhaL !oyce's llLerary esLaLe has sworn LhaL Lhey wlll
never agaln be publlshed. 8uL Lhey were publlshed around 40 ago ln 1he SelecLed LeLLers of
!ames !oyce. lf you can geL your hands on a copy, you'll read Lhlngs llke ºmy dlrLy llLLle
fuckblrd!" ºpull ouL my mlckey and suck lL llke a LeaL," ºl would love Lo be whlpped by you,"
ºLhe heavy smell of your behlnd," and ºa llLLle brown sLaln on Lhe seaL of your whlLe drawers."
?ep, !oyce reveled ln Lhe sound and smell of nora's farLs and Lurds. ºl Lhlnk l would know nora's
farL anywhere," he wroLe on uecember 8, 1909. ºl Lhlnk l could plck hers ouL ln a roomful of
Cn uecember 2, 1909, he explalned Lo nora Lhe Lwln feellngs of love LhaL he has for her-Lhe
splrlLual slde and Lhe earLhy, physlcal slde:
lL allows me Lo bursL lnLo Lears of plLy and love aL some sllghL word, Lo Lremble wlLh love
for you aL Lhe soundlng of some chord or cadence of muslc or Lo lle heads and Lales wlLh
you feellng your flngers fondllng and Llckllng my ballocks or sLuck up ln my behlnd and your
hoL llps sucklng off my cock whlle my head ls wedged ln beLween your faL Lhlghs, my hands
cluLchlng Lhe round cushlons of your bum and my Longue llcklng ravenously up your rank red
1hese glorlously fllLhy, unashamed mlsslves are Lruly some of Lhe besL eroLlc wrlLlng l've ever
read. !oyce's llLerary genlus, hls raglng hornlness, and hls devoLlon Lo nora are a comblnaLlon
LhaL can never be beaL. lL's a crylng shame LhaL hls helrs now deprlve Lhe world of such hlgh-
Ponorable MenLlon 3: ºMan of SLeel, Woman of kleenex" by Larry nlven
Llke Þhlllp !ose larmer and Þlers AnLhony, nlven ls anoLher name famlllar Lo Sl fans. Wlnner of
flve Pugos and one nebula, hls crownlng creaLlon ls Lhe 8lngworld serles. ln hls 1971 essay
ºMan of SLeel, Woman of kleenex," he medlLaLes on Lhe problems LhaL Superman and ºa
human woman deslgnaLed LL" would have lf Lhey Lrled Lo make a kld. Cne of Lhe problems ls
LhaL Superman mlghL klll LL whlle spasmlng durlng orgasm. Lven lf LhaL dldn'L happen, ºhe'd
blow off Lhe Lop of her head. L[aculaLlon of semen ls enLlrely lnvolunLary ln Lhe human male,
and ln all oLher forms of LerresLrlal llfe. lL would be unreasonable Lo assume oLherwlse for a
krypLonlan. 8uL wlLh krypLonlan muscles behlnd lL, kal-Ll's semen would emerge wlLh Lhe
muzzle veloclLy of a machlne gun bulleL."
nlven suggesLs arLlflclal lnsemlnaLlon, buL Lhls Loo presenLs challenges. Superman's supersperm
would be unsLoppable: ºA Lhlckened cell wall won'L sLop Lhem. 1hey wlll all enLer Lhe egg,
obllLeraLlng lL enLlrely ln an orgy of mlcroscoplc gang rape." 8uL Lhey won'L sLop Lhere, all
several bllllon of Lhem wlll Lravel ouLslde of LL's body and fly around MeLropolls, causlng all
klnds of mlcroscoplc damage and lmmaculaLe concepLlons.
Ponorable MenLlon 4: ºSlsLers" by Lynne Cheney
1he novel SlsLers has become legendary for Lwo reasons. llrsL, lL was wrlLLen by Lynne Cheney,
Lhe rlgldly upLlghL fundamenLallsL wlfe of oll baron vlce ÞresldenL ulck Cheney. Second, almosL
no one has ever read lL. lL was publlshed by new Amerlcan Llbrary's Canadlan dlvlslon ln 1981,
and almosL lnsLanLly wenL ouL of prlnL. ?ou slmply cannoL flnd a copy, even among rare book
ConsequenLly, rumors abouL lLs conLenLs swlrl. lor lnsLance, legend has lL LhaL SlsLers conLalns
lesblan acLlon. Pavlng read lL, l can Lell you LhaL Lhls lsn'L correcL. 1he mlsundersLandlng sLems
from Lhe facL LhaL Lhe maln characLer's slsLer, dead by Lhe Llme Lhe novel sLarLs, was a lesblan.
!usL llke Lhe Cheneys' daughLer Mary.
SlsLers ls LhoughL of as a romance novel, buL LhaL's a mlsnomer. AlLhough lL was packaged as
one, lL's more correcL Lo call lL a WesLern mysLery novel. ln 1886, successful Sophle, Lhe new
?ork publlsher of uymond's Ladles Magazlne, goes Lo Wyomlng Lo flnd ouL why her slsLer dled.
lndependenL and lnLelllgenL, Sophle carrles wlLh her a llLLle lacquer box fllled wlLh
conLracepLlves. Coodness graclous!
1here's only one sex scene-lf you can even call lL LhaL-ln Lhe whole book. When Sophle can
no longer reslsL Lhe sLudly !ames SLevenson, she [olns hlm ln Lhe llbrary room afLer hours:
Pe Lurned Lo her, leaned down, and puL hls hand genLly on Lhe slde of her face. º?ou are
exLraordlnarlly beauLlful," he sald quleLly. 1hey klssed, and Lhen she lay wlLh hlm ln Lhe
flrellghL, unmlndful of Lhe pasL, unmlndful of anyLhlng excepL Lhls momenL, Lhls man, and
1haL's how Lhe chapLer ends. When Lhe nexL one sLarLs, lL's Lhe followlng mornlng. 1he scene of
aLLempLed rape, on Lhe oLher hand, ls much longer and more deLalled (whlch glves us some
psychologlcal lnslghL lnLo Lynne). Sophle ls aLLacked by a drunken homesLeader ln hls shack:
Pe leL hls Lhlck, blunL flngers sllde down Lo her LhroaL, Lhen over Lhe fronL of her dress,
over her breasL and down unLll hls hand resLed on her Lhlgh.. Pe klssed her, forced her llps
open wlLh hls mouLh. She could LasLe Lhe whlskey he had been drlnklng, feel hls whlskers
and Lhe scab on hls face. A wave of revulslon swepL over her, and she pushed hlm away. As
he fell back, Lhe whlLe bulldog moved Loward her, hls growl becomlng louder. ºAh, felsLy,
aln'L she, Luper?" Wllson sLroked Lhe dog. ºWell, someLlmes LhaL klnd's Lhe mosL fun."
1he scene goes on for anoLher page, endlng when Wllson passes ouL before he can compleLe
Lhe aLLack. Pls abused wlfe had splked hls whlskey.
8esldes Lhe sex, rape, lesblanlsm, and conLracepLlon, SlsLers also conLalns dlsflgurlng vlolence,
anlmal cruelLy, femlnlsL LhoughL, anLl-corporaLe messages, and several lnsLances of Laklng Lhe
Lord's name ln valn. WhaL would !esus say? WhaL would ulck say?
LlS1 47 12 Clde-1lmey Þorn 8ooks
LesL we forgeL LhaL eroLlc books dldn'L sLarL wlLh Lhe sLroke novels of Lhe 1960s, or ln Lhe 1930s
wlLh Penry Mlller, or even wlLh Lhe underground novels of Lhe vlcLorlans, here are some
expllclL pre-1800 Lomes, many of whlch are sLlll ln prlnL ln some form or anoLher.
SonneLs Lussurlosl by ÞleLro AreLlno (1324)
AfLer checklng ouL sexual drawlngs by Clullano 8omano, who sLudled under 8aphael and was
named as hls arLlsLlc helr, ÞleLro AreLlno-an lLallan saLlrlsL whose wlL was Lhe scourge of
prlnces and popes-was lnsplred Lo puL pen Lo paper. Pe wroLe nasLy sonneLs based on Lhe
sexual maneuvers, one of whlch lncluded Lhe llnes:
lorced Lo lean on my arms and legs, C curse you for Lhls clumsy poslLlon. A mule would conk
over afLer an hour of lL.
1hls collecLlon of sonneLs ls someLlmes named as Lhe flrsL eroLlc book ln Lhe WesLern world,
Lhough Lhls lsn'L Lrue. (Þope Þlus ll's PlsLorla de duobus amanLlbus appeared around 1488, and
even LhaL may noL be Lhe oldesL.) neverLheless, publlshed way back ln 1324, lL's undoubLedly
one of Lhe earllesL.
Chlng Þ'lng Mel by Wang Shlh-chông (clrca 1360)
A Chlnese classlc, Lhls novel has appeared ln a large number of falLhful and basLardlzed Lngllsh
LranslaLlons, lncludlng Pouse of !oy, 1he Colden LoLus, and 1he Þlum ln Lhe Colden vase.
!ou Þu 1uan [1he Þrayer MaL of llesh ] by Ll ?u (1634)
SaLyra SoLadlca by nlcholas Chorler (clrca 1660)
llrsL appeared ln LaLln around 1660, wlLh a lrench edlLlon (L'Academle des uames) 20 years
laLer. An Lngllsh LranslaLlon-orlglnally LlLled 1he uuel-showed up ln 1688. 1he Lncyclopedla
of Censorshlp calls lL ºLhe earllesL survlvlng plece of prose pornography ln Lngland." ln lL, 1ullla
lnlLlaLes her 13-year-old cousln CLLavla lnLo all manner of sexual devlancy.
ulalogues of Lulsa Slgea by nlcolas Chorler (clrca 1660)
La CalanLe hermaphrodlLe by lrancols Chavlgny de la 8reLonnlere
Addlng Lo Lhe book's frlsson, Lhe auLhor was a defrocked monk.
Sodom, or 1he CulnLessence of uebauchery by !ohn WllmoL, Larl of
A proLo-Sadean play feaLurlng characLers named CunLlgraLla, luckadllla, and 8uggeranLhos.
A Lady of CuallLy by Creblllon le llls (Claude-Þrosper !olyoL) (1700s)
Memolrs of a Woman of Þleasure by !ohn Cleland (1748)
lanny Plll-as lL ls beLLer known-"has Lhe dublous dlsLlncLlon of belng Lhe mosL prosecuLed
llLerary work ln hlsLory," says 1he Lncyclopedla of Censorshlp. lL was Lhe sub[ecL of Lrlals as laLe
as Lhe 1960s, well over Lwo cenLurles afLer lL appeared. 1he uS Supreme CourL overLurned a
ban ln 1966, buL lL remalns Lechnlcally ouLlawed ln Lhe uk, alLhough lL's wldely avallable.
lellcla by Andre-8oberL Andrea de nerclaL (1773)
!usLlne by Lhe Marquls de Sade (1791)
!ulleLLe by Lhe Marquls de Sade (1798)
32 lLems from Lhe uelLa
CollecLlon of Lhe Llbrary of
1he rumor LhaL Lhe vaLlcan has an lmmense collecLlon of eroLlc maLerlal may or may noL be
Lrue, buL for several decades, Lhe Llbrary of Congress deflnlLely dld. Called Lhe uelLa CollecLlon,
lL was housed on Lhe Lop floor of Lhe Llbrary, ln ueck 38, Lo be exacL. ln whaL mlghL be an
exaggeraLlon, a magazlne arLlcle from Lhe Llme sald LhaL Lhe collecLlon held ºalmosL every eroLlc
poem, essay and sLory ever wrlLLen or LranslaLed lnLo Lngllsh."
SomeLlme ln Lhe 1880s, a wealLhy buslnessman ln Callfornla lefL hls vasL collecLlon of rare
books Lo Lhe Llbrary when he dled. AlmosL all of lL was eroLlc, much prlvaLely prlnLed and
lrreplaceable. As a bonus, Lhe llbrarlans also recelved hundreds of Lhe deceased's eroLlc
arLworks. Lucklly, lnsLead of pulplng Lhls scandalous maLerlal, Lhe Llbrary creaLed a speclal,
resLrlcLed area Lo house lL. ln any era Lhls would be an admlrably progresslve sLance, buL ln Lhe
laLLer 1800s lL was downrlghL revoluLlonary.
1he uelLa collecLlon grew as oLher eroLlca collecLors bequeaLhed Lhelr sLashes Lo Lhe Llbrary.
Cn Lop of LhaL, uS CusLoms sLarLed sendlng over some of Lhe ºobscene" maLerlal selzed on lLs
way lnLo Lhe counLry.
Molderlng documenLs recenLly recovered from Lhe Llbrary by lnLrepld researcher Mlchael
8avnlLzky reveal LhaL, as of 1960, Lhe uelLa collecLlon was conLalned ln Lwo rooms descrlbed as
ºcramped." ln LhaL year, plans were already belng made Lo dlssolve Lhe collecLlon, malnly by
puLLlng all buL a few of Lhe books lnLo Lhe open sLacks. Cnly Lhree books wlLh ºraLher graphlc
lllusLraLlons" were pulled aslde Lo be glven Lo oLher llbrarles wlLh eroLlc collecLlons.
Some of Lhe porn movles ln Lhe uelLa CollecLlon were desLroyed ln 1937, posslbly earller Lhan
LhaL. A memo shows LhaL ln fall 1971, llbrarlans lnclneraLed LhlrLeen large boxes of ºoLher Lhan
prlnLed maLLer," plus more boxes conLalnlng phoLos, Lransparencles, hundreds of magazlnes,
dozens of monographs, and ºmlscellaneous adverLlslng." AL Lhls polnL, Lhe uelLa collecLlon
seems Lo have gone Lhe way of Lhe dodo.
1. ALLalnlng Manhood by Ceorge Corner (Parper, 1938)
2. 8lrLh ConLrol on 1rlal by Lalla Secor llorence (London: Allen, 1930)
3. 1he 8rlde of Po Llng-lu
4. 1he uecameron by 8occacclo
3. Lncyclopedle de la vle Sexuelle by Ludwlg Levy-Lenz
6. Lugenlcs and Sex Parmony by Perman P. 8ublns (new ?ork: Þloneer Þubllshlng
7. lanny Plll by !ohn Cleland
1hls ls a flrsL edlLlon bound ln Morocco leaLher, allegedly from Lhe collecLlon of klng Ceorge lll.
8. 1he Colden Ass by Luclus Apulelus
9. kama SuLra by vaLsyayana Mallanaga, LranslaLed by 8lchard 8urLon (new ?ork, 1936)
10. Lady ChaLLerly's Lover by u.P. Lawrence
11. LollLa by vladmlr nabokov
12. A Love SLarved World by !.L. ÞrlLcher (Los Angeles: ?ale Þubllshlng Company, 1932)
13. My Llves and Loves by lrank Parrls
14. CdoraLus Sexualls by lwan 8loch (1933)
13. 1he Þerfumed Carden by Shelkh nefzaoul, LranslaLed by Slr 8lchard 8urLon
16. 1he Sex Crlmlnal by 8erLram Þollens (Macmlllan, 1938)
17. Sex CuesLlons and Answers by lred 8rown (WhlLLlesey, 1930)
18. Sexual Mlsbehavlor by ArLhur Plrsch (1933)
19. SonneLs Luxurleux by ÞleLro AreLlno (Þarls?, 1948)
20. 1roplc of Cancer by Penry Mlller
21. 1roplc of Caprlcorn by Penry Mlller
22-23. 1he klnsey reporLs
(Sexual 8ehavlor ln Lhe Puman Male and Sexual 8ehavlor ln Lhe Puman lemale)
24-26. Works by CaLullus, Chaucer , and 8abelals
27. ºluchs' mulLlvolume seL"
28. ºA Clchner work"
1hls undoubLedly refers Lo Lawrence L. Clchner, who self-publlshed Lhree books: LroLlc AspecLs
of Plndu SculpLure, LroLlc AspecLs of !apanese CulLure, and LroLlc AspecLs of Chlnese CulLure.
29. Cne documenL noLes LhaL selzed coples of ºcerLaln CommunlsL propaganda
publlcaLlons" are Lo be senL Lo Lhe uelLa CollecLlon.
30. 1wo documenLs menLlon LhaL Lhe uelLa CollecLlon houses ºLhree-dlmenslonal
maLerlals," buL no elaboraLlon ls glven. Could Lhls refer Lo dlldos, dlaphragms, and oLher
Lypes of sex Loys and conLracepLlve devlces? 1he mlnd reels.
31. 1he magazlne arLlcle menLlons ºdrawlngs and eLchlngs , beauLlfully done by lrench,
Cerman and lLallan masLers-all porLraylng men and women engaged ln Lhe sLrangesL Lypes of
32. ºClrly" phoLos of nude and seml-nude women
Cfflclal descrlpLlons lnclude: ºnude glrl lylng prone on bearskln rug. 8ed background. 1lLle: Crln
and bare lL." º8ed-halred glrl cluLchlng franLlcally aL Lorn halLer of sklmpy baLhlng sulL. 1lLle:
33. Þornographlc comlc books
(cerLalnly lncludlng Lhe legendary 1l[uana blbles) wlLh LlLles such as ºMaggle and !lggs," º1ooLs
and Casper," º!lmmy uuranLe and Mae WesL," and º1erry and Lhe uragon Lady."
34. SLag fllms
33. naughLy posLcards
36. ºllfe-slzed reproducLlons of Lhe famous Marllyn Monroe nudes"
37. ºLhe orlglnal verslons of cleaned-up folk songs sung by arLlsLs llke 8url lves, !osh WhlLe
and Parry 8elafonLe." Speclflc songs lnclude ºLrle Canal" and º1he SLreeLs of Laredo."
38. ºLorrld [azz songs"
39. ºsLag-parLy [lngles"
40. Lngllsh LranslaLlons of non-eroLlc works ln Creek and LaLln
1hese books were consldered ºsoclally undeslrable" because unlverslLy sLudenLs were expecLed
Lo read Lhem ln Lhelr orlglnal languages, and havlng an Lngllsh-language copy would've been
1he followlng are movles selzed by Lhe ÞosL Cfflce or CusLoms 1930-1937, and senL Lo Lhe uelLa
41. Como uesnudarse uelanLe uel Marldo
42. Crlmlnes Sexuales
43. uos LnLre nudlsLas
44. kernesse 8ouge
43. LecLura SelecLa
46. Cur Slnful uaughLers
47. Ll Þrofesor de Muslca
48. SLory of 8lrLh
49. vle ÞeccaLo
31. Ll SecreLo de las vlclasos
32. 1esL 1ube 8aby
LlS1 49 12 unorLhodox Sex ÞracLlces
1he unllkely acL ln whlch a man lnserLs hls parLlally hard penls lnLo hls own anus. Cbvlously, lL's
a Lrlck LhaL a very small percenLage of men can achleve, buL lL ls for real. 1he porn vldeo
approprlaLely LlLled Co luck ?ourself ls devoLed Lo Lhe acL, and Lhe LaLlno guy on Lhe cover
shows how lL's done.
Cnce you've exhausLed Lhe poLenLlal of your parLner's mouLh, vaglna, and/or anus, lL's Llme Lo
look for new posslblllLles. ln axllllsm, Lhe vlrgln LerrlLory belng lnvaded by Lhe penls ls Lhe
armplL. Cne famous axllllphlle was uada/SurreallsL phoLographer Man 8ay, who, when asked
hls favorlLe parLs of a woman, replled: º1he breasLs and armplLs."
Sure, we've heard abouL donkey shows ln 1l[uana and Lhe rumor of gerblls ln Lallplpes, buL
Lhlngs geL a whole loL welrder Lhan even LhaL. ln hls 1894 book Medlcal !urlsprudence, Cerman
lawyer C. Perzog reporLs: ºShe would lle down on a sofa and separaLlng her Lhlghs would smear
honey on and ln Lhe vulva. 1he flles Lhus aLLracLed by Lhe honey would Llckle her unLll her
sexual appeLlLe was appeased." Llsewhere ln hls book, whlle commenLlng on guys commlLLlng
besLlallLy, Perzog wroLe: ºln male anlmals Lhe recLum ls generally used, alLhough ln one
reporLed case a man used Lhe nosLrlls of a horse."
1he sexually charged phrase ºeaL me" becomes almosL llLeral wlLh Lhe klnksLers lnLo cannlbal
fanLasles. 1hey Lhrlll Lo Lhe LhoughL of Lruly eaLlng anoLher person or, conversely, belng eaLen.
Cn Lhe uevlanL ueslres webslLe-based on Lhe book of Lhe same LlLle-kaLharlne CaLes
explalns LhaL some people brlng Lhese fanLasles Lo llfe ln consensual roleplaylng. Cne of her
frlends ºpalnLed Lhe woman's nude body wlLh doLLed llnes Lo represenL cuLs of meaL." She
Cne very LasLeful (heh, heh) webslLe, Mukl's klLchen [ www.muklsklLchen.com ], feaLures
phoLographs of lovely female models Lrussed up ln pans fllled wlLh vegeLables, and sLuffed
ln Lhelr mouLhs, vaglnas and assholes wlLh flavorful LreaLs llke apples, bananas and carroLs.
1hus, eroLlc feedlng, messy fun, bondage, gags and vaglnal or anal peneLraLlon may be
lncorporaLed lnLo Lhe sexual scenarlo.
lnvolves Lwo men, aL leasL one of whom musL be unclrcumclsed. WlLh penlses faclng each
oLher, Lhe foreskln of Lhe uncuL guy ls pulled over Lhe cockhead-and parL of Lhe shafL, lf lL's
really sLreLchy foreskln-of Lhe oLher guy. Cne of Lhe parLners grabs Lhe foreskln and uses lL Lo
sLroke boLh dlcks. Cn a Web message board, a ºdocker" shares hls experlences: ºl've been wlLh
a couple of guys wlLh skln loose enough. leels greaL. Cock head Lo cock head, lnslde hls warm
molsL cover. Cne of Lhe guys was loose, buL noL excesslvely. l could sLroke and sLreLch hls skln
abouL 3" or so, or abouL 1/2 my cock. lelL all warm and 'comfy' lnslde Lhere."
CerLalnly lL's hard Lo lmaglne Lwo words LhaL seem Lo belong LogeLher less Lhan ºeroLlc" and
ºvomlLlng." lL mlghL be Lhe ulLlmaLe oxymoron. 8uL vomlLlng and comlng aren'L as far aparL as
you may Lhlnk. 8oLh are reflex acLlons caused by a sLlmulus. 8oLh Lrlgger Lhe release of
hormones and neuroLransmlLLers LhaL make you feel warm and relaxed afLerward. And ln Lhe
case of male orgasm, aL leasL, boLh resulL ln fluld forced Lhrough a canal and ouL of a bodlly
openlng. 1he maln dlfference-and lL's a blg one-ls LhaL mosL people experlence Lhe acL of
vomlLlng as exLremely unpleasanL. ÞsychlaLrlsL/sexologlsL 8oberL !. SLoller was Lhe flrsL Lo reveal
Lhe exlsLence of eroLlc vomlLlng ln medlcal llLeraLure. ln a brlef arLlcle, he descrlbes Lhe cases of
Cne of Lhe women doesn'L herself barf. lnsLead: ºl can reach a sure orgasm by lmaglnlng
someone vomlLlng ln a hard, humlllaLlng fashlon." 1he second woman acLually experlences
orgasm whlle she's Lhrowlng up. 1he flnal woman descrlbes her feellngs:
vomlLlng for me ls llke sex or an orgasm ln LhaL l'm Lensed, l feel Lhe rush or lnLense flood
of good feellngs almosL conLlnually LhroughouL Lhe vomlLlng and experlence rellef and quleL
warmLh ln my body when l'm flnlshed. lL ls noL ldenLlcal Lo an orgasm. l do noL feel lL
lnLensely ln my genlLals alone, buL l do feel lL Lhere as well as Lhe resL of my body and feel
pleasure ln my mouLh.
AddlLlonally, a small number of people llke Lo be puked upon, a pracLlce known as 8oman
lnvolves llcklng, sucklng or oLherwlse orally reLrlevlng semen from a parLner's pussy or asshole.
1o prepare for meaLoLomy, men enlarge Lhe openlng of Lhelr ureLhras by cuLLlng or Learlng. 1he
Lncyclopedla of unusual Sex ÞracLlces lnforms us: ºA few men have such a large openlng LhaL
Lhey were able Lo lnserL Lhe glans penls of anoLher man lnLo Lhe Llp of Lhelr penls."
A LoLal-body form of bondage ln whlch a person ls compleLely wrapped from head Lo Loe ln
bandages (someLlmes overlald wlLh masklng Lape), sLrlps of cloLh, or-for Lhose who wanL Lo
feel less helpless-LolleL paper.
noL Lo be confused wlLh pedophllla, pedlophllla (noLe Lhe exLra ºl") denoLes sexual arousal from
dolls. 1he Lncyclopedla of unusual Sex ÞracLlces clLes Lhe case of one such man: ºPe shaved Lhe
halr from 8arble doll heads and Lhen swallowed Lhe heads Lo produce sexual arousal."
A form of bondage and dlsclpllne, ponyplay lnvolves a ºpony" and a rlder. 1he person ln Lhe
pony parL ls Lyplcally ouLflLLed wlLh a leaLher saddle, sLraps, relns, and bllnders, wlLh a blL ln Lhe
mouLh. 1he oLher person, perhaps wleldlng a whlp or rldlng crop, elLher rldes Lhe pony or geLs
pulled ln a carL.
lf you llke Lhe ldea of romanclng Lhe dead buL you don'L llke Lhe Lrouble and rlsk lnvolved ln
acLually dolng lL, pseudonecrophllla offers a more accepLable ouLleL. !usL have your lover
remaln compleLely sLlll and unresponslve durlng sex. lor added reallsm, have hlm or her soak ln
cold waLer flrsL. 1hls form of sex reached a mass audlence ln an eplsode of Law and Crder:
Speclal vlcLlms unlL, a show LhaL has lnLroduced mlddle Amerlca Lo a whole loL of sex pracLlces
lL probably had been bllssfully unaware of.
LlS1 30 6 Sex AcLs 1haL Are lllegal
ln many sLaLes, noL only ls lL a mlsdemeanor Lo nall someone else lf you're marrled, lL's also
lllegal Lo nall someone who's marrled even lf you're slngle. lor example, Arlzona law sLaLes:
ºWhen Lhe acL ls commlLLed beLween parLles only one of whom ls marrled, boLh shall be
punlshed." Mlchlgan ls blased on Lhe lssue, declarlng LhaL ºboLh parLles are gullLy lf Lhe woman
ls marrled and Lhe man ls noL, only Lhe man ls gullLy lf he ls marrled and woman ls noL." MosL of
Lhe sLaLes LhaL ouLlaw adulLery rank lL as a mlsdemeanor, buL ln flve sLaLes-lncludlng ldaho
and Mlchlgan-lL's a felony.
ÞreLendlng Lo be a person's spouse or a medlcal professlonal
Llke many oLher sLaLes, Callfornla deflnes sodomy as conLacL beLween Lhe penls of one person
and Lhe anus of anoLher. 1he acL ls noL auLomaLlcally lllegal, buL-belng Callfornla-Lhere are
numerous condlLlons LhaL make lL agalnsL Lhe law. Cne of Lhese lnvolves buLLsex ºwhere Lhe
vlcLlm submlLs under Lhe bellef LhaL Lhe person commlLLlng Lhe acL ls Lhe vlcLlm's spouse, and
Lhls bellef ls lnduced by any arLlflce, preLense, or concealmenL pracLlced by Lhe accused, wlLh
lnLenL Lo lnduce Lhe bellef." ÞunlshmenL ls up Lo elghL years ln Lhe sLaLe slammer, where no
one ever breaks sodomy laws.
ln a relaLed veln, golng up someone's rear ln Call ls lllegal when Lhe reclplenL º[w]as noL aware,
knowlng, percelvlng, or cognlzanL of Lhe essenLlal characLerlsLlcs of Lhe acL due Lo Lhe
perpeLraLor's fraudulenL represenLaLlon LhaL Lhe sexual peneLraLlon served a professlonal
purpose when lL served no professlonal purpose."
8oLh of Lhese sLaLuLes apply word for word Lo oral sex, as well. So when you're ln Lhe Sunshlne
SLaLe, don'L fool someone lnLo anal sex by preLendlng Lo be her husband, and don'L Lell
someone LhaL golng down on hlm serves a professlonal purpose when lL really doesn'L, okay?
Sex wlLh close famlly members ls a felony ln every sLaLe (and uC) wlLh Lwo excepLlons: lL's a
mlsdemeanor ln uelaware, and Lhere's no law agalnsL lL aL all ln 8hode lsland. Maybe new
Lngland should be Lhe buLL of all Lhose lnbreedlng [okes, lnsLead of Lhe SouLh.
Sexual conLacL wlLh a corpse ls speclflcally ouLlawed ln several sLaLes, lncludlng Ceorgla, where
lL'll geL you one Lo Len years ln [all. lndlana conslders lL a felony lf you merely open Lhe lld of a
coffln wlLh Lhe lnLenL Lo molesL Lhe occupanL, even lf you never consummaLe.
ln a few sLaLes, lL's lllegal for an unmarrled person Lo have sexual lnLercourse wlLh anyone.
uoesn'L maLLer lf your parLner ls of Lhe opposlLe gender, of legal age, compleLely wllllng, eLc. ln
Ceorgla, Lhls ls a mlsdemeanor punlshable by a flne of up Lo $1,000 and up Lo a year behlnd
bars. ldaho, MassachuseLLs, uLah, vlrglnla, and WesL vlrglnla have slmllar resLrlcLlons, and
several oLher sLaLes conslder lL a mlsdemeanor for unmarrled couples Lo llve LogeLher lf Lhey're
havlng sex on a regular basls.
Coverlng all lLs bases, Mlssourl speclfles LhaL lLs law agalnsL crlLLer-humplng also applles Lo dead
ln WashlngLon, uC, havlng oral or anal sex wlLh anyone ls a felony, whlle adulLery ls a
mlsdemeanor, and besLlallLy and peeplng aren'L speclflcally agalnsL Lhe law. 8esldes belng an
upslde down appllcaLlon of sex laws, lL would appear LhaL Lhere are a whole loL of gullLy
pollLlclans on Lhe ÞoLomac.
LlS1 31 21 naLural Aphrodlslacs
3. chlcken eggs (raw)
lL's noL necessarlly an aphrodlslac for your parLner, Lhough.
7. glnseng (especlally Lhe Chlnese varleLy)
9. llcorlce rooL
10. marl[unana (moderaLe amounLs)
11. musk (Laken lnLernally)
12. oaLs (Avena saLlva)
lrom whence we geL Lhe phrase ºLo sow your wlld oaLs."
13. onlon seeds
13. salep (Crchls morlo)
1he rooL of Lhls orchld.
16. saw palmeLLo
17. Spanlsh fly
An acLual lnsecL (CanLharls veslcaLorla), Lhls powdered beeLle works by lrrlLaLlng Lhe urlnary
sysLem and ls very dangerous.
19. wlld carroL
Where do you Lhlnk rabblLs geL all Lhelr sexual energy?
20. wlld celery
1he bark from Lhe Afrlcan Lree Þanslnys-Lalla yohlmbe ls wldely regarded as one of Lhe mosL
unamblguous aphrodlslacs. 1he Wonders of ºPerbal" Medlclne ln SepLember 2003,
companles were forced Lo recall 7 Lo 12 mllllon LableLs of supposedly naLural supplemenLs LhaL
boosL sexual performance ln men and women, a la vlagra. 1hey conLalned glnseng, oaLs, saw
palmeLLo, eucommla bark, hlndo loLus seed, and.oh yeah, vlagra. ?ep, Lhese herbal
concocLlons were lnfused wlLh slldenafll (Lhe chemlcal name of vlagra), whlch Lhe companles
somehow forgoL Lo menLlon on Lhe labels.
LlS1 32 32 lamous Þeople lnvolved ln
A Lrlad ls Lo Lhree people whaL a couple ls Lo Lwo people. ln oLher words, a relaLlonshlp among
Lhree parLners. lL's someLlmes called a Lhreesome or menage a Lrols, buL Lhese words have a
prlmarlly sexual connoLaLlon, usually belng applled Lo a physlcal encounLer LhaL doesn'L lnvolve
a long-Lerm commlLmenL.
1hls llsL ls lndebLed almosL compleLely Lo Lhe amazlng research of 8arbara losLer, Mlchael
losLer, and LeLha Padady. 1hemselves a Lrlad, Lhey wenL Lhrough hlsLory wlLh a flne-LooLh
comb, dlgglng up numerous examples of famous people lnvolved ln Lrlads. 1he resulLlng book,
1hree ln Love, ls an unprecedenLed chronlcle of Lhls formerly unacknowledged Lype of
relaLlonshlp. (All quoLes below are from Lhls groundbreaklng and hlghly readable book.)
8uLch Cassady and Lhe Sundance kld
Wlld WesL ouLlaws 8uLch Cassady and Parry Longabaugh (Lhe Sundance kld) commlLLed crlmes
wlLh LLLa Þlace. All Lhree of Lhem llved LogeLher, deLalls of Lhe relaLlonshlp are skeLchy, buL lL
appears LhaL Lhey LhoughL of Lhemselves as a famlly.
CaLherlne Lhe CreaL
lmperlal 8ussla's mosL famous Lmpress formed a Lrlad wlLh Lwo of her closesL sLaff members,
chlef depuLy Cregory ÞoLerakln and secreLary ÞeLer Zavadofsky.
8enefacLor of karl Marx and coauLhor of 1he CommunlsL ManlfesLo, Lngels llved and loved wlLh
Lwo slsLers, facLory-workers Mary and Llzzle 8urns.
Called ºone of Lhe leadlng porLralL sculpLors of Lhe 20Lh cenLury" by Lhe Lncyclopedla
8rlLannlca, LpsLeln llved wlLh hls wlfe and mlsLress.
Ceorge Cordon, Lord 8yron
1he archeLypal 8omanLlc poeL was lnvolved for several years wlLh CounLess 1eresa Culccloll. Pe
was her cavallere servenLe, whlch ls baslcally a comblnaLlon of errand-boy and male mlsLress.
CounL Culccloll was flne wlLh sharlng hls wlfe, a noL uncommon aLLlLude among lLallan
arlsLocracy of Lhe Llme.
Penry ll and CaLherlne de' Medlcl
klng Penry ll was marrled Lo CaLherlne de' Medlcl and openly loved Lhe arlsLocraLlc beauLy
ulane de ÞolLlers, who knew Penry slnce he was nlne.
1he lrench novellsL who wroLe Les Mlserables was marrled Lo Adele (nee loucher) and was
lnvolved for mosL of hls llfe wlLh a gorgeous buL mlnlmally LalenLed acLress, !ulleLLe uroueL. (Pe
rouLlnely cheaLed on wlfe and mlsLress wlLh oLher women.) lor years, Adele haLed !ulleLLe,
whom vlcLor always seL up ln a nearby dwelllng. Powever, Lhe Lwo grew Lo llke and respecL
each oLher, wlLh !ulleLLe evenLually runnlng Lhe household. vlcLor remalned wlLh boLh women
unLll Lhelr deaLhs, hls relaLlonshlp wlLh Ms. uroueL lasLed exacLly 30 years.
SovleL leader Lenln was parL of a fully cooperaLlve Lrlad lnvolvlng hls wlfe nadezhda and
mlsLress lnessa. 1he Lwo women formed a frlendshlp, and all Lhree comrades worked LogeLher
Lo furLher Lhe revoluLlon.
LoLhar, klng of Caul
ln Lhe slxLh cenLury, LoLhar was marrled Lo slsLers lngund and Aregund.
As 1hree ln Love sums up: ºParold Macmlllan, Lhe ConservaLlve prlme mlnlsLer of Lngland from
1937 Lo 1963, overlapplng Lhe Llsenhower and kennedy admlnlsLraLlons, llved ln a LhlrLy-year
Lrlad LhaL lncluded hls wlfe uoroLhy Cavendlsh and her lover, hls closesL pollLlcal connecLlon,
Marquls de Sade
1he man whose name gave us sadlsm llved and loved for a whlle wlLh hls wlfe 8enee and her
slsLer, Anne. 1he slsLers ºperformed LogeLher ln Lhe marquls's losL plays, playlng hls herolnes
who acqulesce ln Lhe acLs perpeLraLed agalnsL Lhem."
!ohn SLuarL Mlll
Cne of Lhe leadlng phllosophers of freedom, Mlll found hls soulmaLe ln Lhe lnLelllgenL ParrleL
1aylor, who happened Lo be marrled Lo merchanL !ohn 1aylor. AfLer some lnlLlal frlcLlon, !ohn
came Lo accepL Lhe Lrlad. AfLer he succumbed Lo cancer, ParrleL and !ohn SLuarL marrled and
spenL Lhe resL of Lhelr llves LogeLher.
ÞresldenL of lrance from 1981 Lo 1993, MlLLerand equally loved hls wlfe uanlelle and hls
mlsLress Mazarlne, faLherlng chlldren wlLh boLh of Lhem. 1he famllles knew of each oLher buL
llved aparL, Lhough someLlmes Lhe Lrlad would vacaLlon LogeLher. 8oLh women and all Lhree
offsprlng aLLended lrançols' funeral.
1he flrsL Þrlme MlnlsLer of lndependenL lndla formed a Lhreesome wlLh Louls, Lord
MounLbaLLen (8rlLlsh Admlral of Lhe lleeL) and Ldwlna, Lady MounLbaLLen.
Admlral Lord nelson
Cne of hlsLory's mosL brllllanL naval commanders, Lhe man who saved Lngland from lrance was
famously lnvolved wlLh Lmma, Lady PamllLon. Less known ls Lhe facL LhaL her husband, Slr
Wllllam PamllLon, approved of Lhe relaLlonshlp. ln 1802, Lhe Lrlad senL cards bearlng Lhe
greeLlng: ºSlr Wllllam PamllLon, Lady PamllLon and Mr. nelson deslre Lo wlsh you a merry
Penry Mlller and Anais nln
ln perhaps Lhe mosL well-known Lrlad, ploneerlng eroLlc wrlLers Penry Mlller and Anal's nln
formed a complex, rocky Lhreesome wlLh Mlller's wlfe, !une, ln whlch all Lhree were havlng sex
wlLh each oLher. nln's husband sLayed on Lhe sldellnes of Lhls pow-derkeg relaLlonshlp.
19 20 21 22
Þablo Þlcasso, Salvador uall, Þaul Lluard, Max LrnsL
ÞoeL Þaul Lluard, hls wlfe Cala, and palnLer Max LrnsL formed a Lrlad LhaL lasLed several years.
Cala's second husband, for 33 years, was Salvador ual1. She had numerous affalrs wlLh arLlsLs
he knew, whlch apparenLly dldn'L faze hlm.
Meanwhlle, Þaul Lluard became greaL frlends wlLh Þlcasso and marrled a Þarlslan prosLlLuLe,
nusch. She shows up ln many of Þlcasso's palnLlngs, and Lhey formed a Lrlad LhaL lasLed a
decade, unLll nusch's deaLh ln 1946.
23 24 23
Slgmund lreud, lrledrlch nleLzsche, 8alner Marla 8llke
Cne of Lhe greaL lyrlc poeLs, 8alner Marla 8llke was emoLlonally and sexually lnvolved wlLh
Loulse ºLou" Andreas-Salome, who laLer became a dlsclple of Slgmund lreud and a mlnor
conLrlbuLor Lo psychoanalyLlc Lheory. Lou aL Lhe Llme was ln a sexless buL lovlng marrlage wlLh
an older scholar, l.C. Andreas. 1he Lhree of Lhem llved and Lraveled LogeLher, and Lou became
8alner's hands-on muse, helplng hlm flnd hls volce.
1hls was acLually Lhe mlddle of Lhree Lrlads LhaL Lou would form. ln Lhe flrsL, she was ln an
emoLlonal buL chasLe Lhreesome wlLh phllosophers lrledrlch nleLzshe and Þaul 8ee. (nleLzsche
had been ln a prevlous sexless Lrlad wlLh 8lchard and Coslma Wagner.) ln Lhe lasL Lrlad, Lou and
lreud became very aLLached, Lhough Lhey never slepL wlLh each oLher, LhaL honor was for Lhe
Lhlrd parLy, psychoanalysL vlcLor 1ausk.
Þercy 8yssche Shelley and Mary Shelley
8omanLlc poeL Shelley had qulLe Lhe compllcaLed lovellfe, wlLh Lwo aborLed Lrlads, one
probable one, and an almosL quadrad (l.e., lnvolvlng four people). Larly on, Shelley wanLed Lo
form a Lrlad wlLh hls flrsL wlfe ParrleL and hls besL frlend, 1homas !efferson Pogg, buL ParrleL
would have none of lL. LaLer, he fell ln love wlLh Mary Codwln (daughLer of ploneerlng femlnlsL
Mary WollsLonecrafL), who would wrlLe lrankensLeln. Pe proposed LhaL he, ParrleL, and Mary
shack up, buL agaln hls wlfe sald no.
Shelley and Mary wenL Lo Lurope Lo frollc, accompanylng Lhem was Mary's half-slsLer, Clalre
ClaremonL. We don'L know for sure, buL lL appears LhaL Þercy and Clalre sLarLed hooklng up,
wlLh Mary LoleraLlng lL.
1hlngs goL even more complex and amblguous laLer-Þercy, Mary, Clare, Lord 8yron, hls
marrled lover, and her parenLs all llved under Lhe same roof, along wlLh !ane and Ldward
Wllllams, who had chlldren and llved as a marrled couple Lhough Lhey weren'L. (8y Lhls Llme,
ParrleL had commlLLed sulclde, and Þercy had marrled Mary.) Þercy fell ln love wlLh !ane, and lL
ls llkely, Lhough arguable, LhaL Lhey goL physlcal wlLh each oLher. Þercy and Ldward became fasL
frlends, sharlng !ane's affecLlons. Meanwhlle, Mary also fell ln love wlLh !ane, who dldn'L reLurn
Lhe feellngs. Confused? lmaglne how Lhey felL!
1he wlLLy phllosopher was deeply lnvolved wlLh Lhe Marquls du ChaLleL and hls wlfe, Lml-lle.
º1he Lwo men shared noL only one woman buL Lhelr money and lnfluence aL courL."
Crson Welles' parenLs
1he dlrecLor of ClLlzen kane essenLlally had Lhree parenLs-hls blologlcal dad, 8lchard Welles,
hls moLher, 8eaLrlce Welles, and her lover, ur. Maurlce 8ernsLeln, whom llLLle Crson called
ºuadda." 1he blg, happy famlly llved LogeLher.
vlcLorla Woodhull and Penry Ward 8eecher
1hrough Lhe mlddle of Lhe 1800s, 8eecher was Amerlca's preacher, baslcally Lhe 8llly Craham of
hls Llme, excepL LhaL he had progresslve vlews. 1he mosL progresslve he kepL under wraps-he
was an advocaLe and pracLlLloner of free love. lor many years he was lnvolved wlLh Lhe wlfe of
close frlend 1heodore 1llLon, a slLuaLlon LhaL pleased all of Lhem.
AfLer a whlle, 1llLon Look a more acLlve role ln anoLher Lrlad when he began bonklng ploneerlng
femlnlsL vlcLorla Woodhull. Per husband dldn'L mlnd, LogeLher he and 1llLon wroLe a blography
of vlcLorla. 8eecher enLers Lhe plcLure agaln, when vlcLorla sLarLed geLLlng lL on wlLh hlm, plus
1llLon, noL Lo menLlon her husband. lL also looks as Lhough vlcLorla, her husband, and her slsLer
1ennessee Claflln formed an emoLlonal Lrlad LhaL may or may noL have been sexual. lurLher
compllcaLlng Lhe lssue ls Lhe facL LhaL vlcLorla Look on varlous lovers LhroughouL Lhe years. lf
you flnd Lhese overlapplng Lrlads, quadrads, and even penLads confuslng, you're noL alone.
lrench novellsL Lmlle Zola spllL hls Llme beLween Lwo households-LhaL of hls wlfe and hls
mlsLress. 1he women LoleraLed each oLher, Lhen became fasL frlends afLer Zola's deaLh.
CLhers: MarguerlLe uuras, !oseph Coebbels, Craham Creene, LrnesL Pemlngway,
!ack kerouac, neal Cassady , and Carolyn Cassady, lrlda kahlo, u.P. Lawrence,
Ceorgla C'keeffe, Lzra Þound, !ean-Þaul SarLre and Slmone de 8eauvolr, and
Cskar Schlndler .
LlS1 33 23 SLrange Cenres of Þorn
lf Lhls feLlsh geLs your masL up, look ouL for SLumpfuckers sLarrlng Long !eanne Sllver.
lf your schlong ls long enough and Lhe resL of your body ls flexlble enough, you Loo can glve
yourself a blow[ob. lf you can'L, you can sLlll waLch Lhose who can. 8on !eremy's early clalm Lo
fame was an acL of auLofellaLlo ln 1981's lnslde Seka. ln Lhe scene, Lhe ºMarllyn Monroe of
porn" wlll blow everyone buL 8on, who opLs Lo servlce hlmself.
vldeos llke 8low ?our Cwn Porn, l Llck lL Cuz l Llke lL, and 8ecause 1hey Can feaLure guys golng
down (or ls lL up?) on Lhemselves. And, yes, some of Lhem swallow.
Women wlLh shaved pussles are a dlme a dozen ln porn, buL only once ln a whlle do you see
women wlLh bald heads. 1he C 8alls movles may be Lhe only ones of Lhelr klnd.
Cream ple vldeos
lf you can'L flgure Lhls ouL from Lhe conLexL, l'll spell lL ouL for you: 1he laLesL Lrend Lo hlL
pornoland ls Lhe ºlnLernal cumshoL" craze, as seen ln such fllms as llve Cuy Cream Þle, Cream
lllled 1eens, and lnLernal CombusLlon.
Among Lhe works ln Lhls genre are xxxLreme Lnemas, LcsLasy WaLerworks, and 1he Lnema
8andlL SLrlkes Agaln.
Also called ºqueenlng," you can geL an eyeful of Lhls acL ln lace-SlLLlng lanaLlcs and Clamsucker.
lL may seem llke one of Lhe lesser sex acLs, buL lL Loo ls Lhe sub[ecL of enLlre movles, lncludlng
Þussy Þoppers and llnger lrlggln'.
ln fllms llke Palry Plppy Chlcks, PlrsuLe ParloLs, and ulrLy Palry, Lhe women have mousLaches,
and dense Langles of halr maLLlng Lhelr croLches, legs, armplLs, and oLher areas.
Seelng as how Lhere are so few roles for dwarves ln leglL movles, l guess lL's noL Loo surprlslng
LhaL some have Lurned Lo Lhe porn lndusLry. A LrlumvlraLe of llLLle men sLar ln Snow WhlLe and
Lhe 1hree uwarves, whlle shorL women geL Lhelr momenL ln MlcrosluL and 8rldgeL Lhe MldgeL's
Who needs more Lhan one person Lo make a porn movle? noL Lhe sLars of SLlnkln' llngers, 8ub
Lhe Muff, and All Alone and no Cne Lo 8one.
Clven our culLure's averslon Lo Lhe monLhly cycle, Cn Lhe 8ag, Þerlod Þleces, and College Clrls:
4Lh Þerlod rank as some of Lhe mosL conLroverslal porn fllms around.
Cbese women and men
SLarrlng horndogs who welgh hundreds and hundreds of pounds, Chubby Chasers, 8ulk Male,
and Llfe ln Lhe laL Lane puL loLs of skln lnLo skln fllcks.
Women wlLh more Lhan Lhe usual number of holes are feaLured ln 1rendy Þlerced ?oung
1hlngs, Þlerced 8e-aLch!, and Þlerced, Þun-Loured and ÞerverLed.
WasLe noL, wanL noL wlLh WaLch Me 1lnkle, Þlss Cuzzlers, and SqulrL 'Lm Cowglrl!.
8ound bellles and mllky breasLs are Lhe order of Lhe day ln porno feaLurlng pregnanL
women-8eady Lo Þop, Labor of Love, 1he urop Zone, eLc.
Þublc areas geLLlng shaved
Cream ls for shavlng ln vlds llke Shave Me uown! and Shaved and uepraved.
Some complaln LhaL our culLure llnks sexual aLLracLlveness excluslvely Lo youLh, buL LhaL's noL
always Lhe case. !usL ask Lhe senlor clLlzens who sLar ln porn movles llke Lhe MaLure Women
serles, Cranny CeLs Per Cookles, Aged Lo ÞerfecLlon, Crandma uoes uallas, Cranny uoes a
1ranny, ºPey, My Crandma ls a Whore!", and many oLhers. Women ln Lhelr 60s are common,
and porn sLarleLs ln Lhelr 80s aren'L unheard of. More rarely, you'll see some dlrLy old men, as
ln Crandpa CeLs a Woody.
Þlerced glrls shouldn'L geL all Lhe aLLenLlon. WaLch 8ude, Screwed and 1aLLooed and 1aLLooed
Love Clrl for women wlLh serlous lnk on Lhelr skln.
SlsLers are dolng lL for Lhemselves and for you, Lhe vlewlng publlc. noLable porno Lerrlble
Lwosomes are Lhe 1hal SlsLers and Lhe London Shaggers.
Women wearlng only socks
?es, every feLlsh has lLs correspondlng movles. 1he !oy of Socks and C-SLrlngs and 8obby Socks
Women who e[aculaLe
1hose who deny Lhe exlsLence of female e[aculaLlon obvlously have never seen movles of
women who shooL blgger loads Lhan guys. !usL look for anyLhlng wlLh Lhe word ºSqulrL" ln Lhe
Women who smoke
And noL [usL wlLh Lhelr mouLhs..
Women wlLh sLrap-ons
!udglng by Lhe number of webslLes, phoLos, and movles avallable, Lhere are a loL of people who
love waLchlng a woman sLrap on a dlldo and nall everyone ln slghL wlLh her plasLlc schlong. 1he
Lwo baslc subcaLegorles here depend on who's recelvlng Lhe fem-penls-anoLher woman or a
guy (8abes 8allln' 8oys). Some vldeos-llke Lhe SororlLy SLrap-ons serles-go boLh ways,
showlng guys and dolls geLLlng humped by women who pack.
Women clawlng, scraLchlng, and rlpplng can be seen ln 8ody Slammlng 8lLches, Þ.L.C.W (Þunk
Ladles of WresLllng), and MlsLress kembra's lsland of Pell, all Lhree dlrecLed by performance
arLlsL kembra Þfahler of 1he volupLuous Porror of karen 8lack fame.
ÞlenLy of vldeos wlll leL you waLch buff people ln Lhe buff llfLlng welghLs, aeroblclzlng, or dolng
yoga and Lal chl.
LlS1 34 63 Cay Anlmals
1he followlng anlmals have all been slLed engaglng ln homosexual acLlvlLles. Lach one has been
reporLed ln Lhe sclenLlflc llLeraLure, whlch was scoured by blologlsL 8ruce 8agemlhl for hls
mammoLh survey, 8lologlcal Lxuberance: Anlmal PomosexuallLy and naLural ulverslLy.
2. 8arn owl
3. 8ear (lncludlng black, grlzzly, koala, and polar)
4. 8lghorn sheep
3. 8onobo (a prlmaLe)
6. 8rown raL
8. CaL (domesLlc)
13. ueer (several Lypes)
14. ueserL LorLolse
13. uog (domesLlc)
16. uolphln (several Lypes)
18. uuck (several Lypes)
19. LlephanL (Afrlcan and AslaLlc)
26. Cray squlrrel
27. Culnea plg
29. Perrlng gull
32. Pummlngblrd (several Lypes)
33. lndlan rhlnoceros
36. Mallard duck
37. Monarch buLLerfly
39. MounLaln zebra
43. Þenguln (several Lypes)
31. Sand shark
32. Sea oLLer
33. Swan (several Lypes)
36. 1asmanlan devll
38. vamplre baL
61. WaLer buffalo
62. Whale (several Lypes, lncludlng bow head, fln, gray, klller, and-l'm Lrylng noL Lo make a
LlS1 33 4 unreleased 8aunchy Songs
ºCocksucker 8lues" by Lhe 8olllng SLones
Cne of Lhe mosL lnfamous unreleased songs ln rock and roll hlsLory, ºCocksucker 8lues" was Lhe
SLones' one-flnger saluLe Lo Lhelr orlglnal record label. ln 1970-1, Lhe bad-boy 8rlLs had sLarLed
Lhelr own label (called, slmply enough, 8olllng SLones 8ecords), buL Lhey sLlll owed uecca a flnal
slngle. ApparenLly, muslc conLracLs back Lhen dldn'L sLlpulaLe LhaL a slngle had Lo be releasable,
because as fulflllmenL of Lhelr conLracLual obllgaLlon, Mlck and Lhe boys Lurned ln a raunchy,
bluesy song abouL a small-Lown boy who goes Lo London looklng for hoL gay sex. 1he chorus
When l geL my cock sucked
When l geL my ass fucked
l may noL be good-lookln'
8uL l know where Lo puL lL every Llme
AL leasL Lwo verslons of Lhe song exlsL-Lhe demo done by Mlck and kelLh alone and a laLer,
longer verslon wlLh Lhe whole band ln Lhe sLudlo.
ºCocksucker 8lues" ls also Lhe name of a grlLLy documenLary LhaL capLured Lhe SLones' 1972
Lour, wlLh all manner of grouple sex, drug use, varlous debauchery, and some of Lhe band's
mosL elecLrlfylng performances. Llke Lhe song, Lhe fllm ls offlclally unreleased, Lhough boLh are
avallable as booLlegs.
ºÞussy ConLrol" by Þrlnce
1he Þurple Cne ls cerLalnly no sLranger Lo sexual songs, and ºÞussy ConLrol" sLands wlLh Lhe
besL of Lhem, such as ºLeL's ÞreLend We're Marrled" and ºuarllng nlkkl." ln facL, lL ranks among
hls besL work, and lL wouldn'L be ouL of place on Þurple 8aln or Slgn o' Lhe 1lmes, alLhough lL
was recorded much laLer (probably 1994).
1he muslc ls ass-shaklngly funky, decoraLed wlLh loLs of posL-producLlon sound effecLs. 1he
lyrlcs Lell Lhe sLory of a woman wlLh Lhe unllkely name of Þussy ConLrol. 1hen agaln, maybe Lhls
name lsn'L so unllkely when you reallze LhaL she's a plmp wlLh an M8A. AfLer belng beaLen by
her peers when she was a glrl, Þussy declded LhaL llvlng well would be Lhe besL revenge, so she
sLudled hard, earned sLralghL A's, and now runs an exLremely successful ho operaLlon. (1he glrls
LhaL beaL her down are now Lurnlng Lrlcks for her.) Per slngle-mlnded deLermlnaLlon ls spelled
ouL ln Lhe second verse:
Þussy goL bank ln her pockeLs
8efore she goL dlck ln her drawers
lf broLher dldn'L have good and plenLy of hls own
ln love Þussy never dld fall
When some guy Lrles Lo lmpress Þussy by Lelllng her she can slng backlng vocals on a song of
hls, she replles:
ºnlggah you're crazy lf you don'L know
Lvery glrl ln Lhe world aln'L a freak
?ou could go plaLlnum four Llmes
SLlll wouldn'L make whaL l make ln a week."
1he song ends when Lhe narraLor macks on Ms. ConLrol, and she glves hlm Lhe brush-off. Þrlnce
has performed ºÞussy ConLrol" llve, and he has been known Lo play Lhe sLudlo verslon Lo
concerL audlences before he Lakes Lhe sLage. So far, Lhe song hasn'L been released on a
ºCod's ClfL Lo Women" by !ewel
Sure, dlrLy songs by Lhe SLones and Þrlnce aren'L exacLly ouL of characLer, buL you mlghL noL
expecL such Lhlngs from !ewel, who sweeLly slngs Lhe mega-hlLs ºWho Wlll Save ?our Soul" and
º?ou Were MeanL for Me," noL Lo menLlon ºAve Marla." uurlng her pre-fame days, when she
was wrlLlng and performlng songs prollflcally, she penned Lhls ode Lo a guy who ls well-hung
and/or fucks really well. She sLarLs off wlLh a blL of boasLfulness:
Would you llke Lo ram your Longue down my LhroaL
Would you llke Lo grab my Lhlghs
?es, l have goL nlce LlLs
1hey are Lhe perfecL grab-me slze
8uL she qulckly does an abouL-face wlLh some self-deprecaLlng llnes abouL belng ºso desperaLe"
LhaL ºl'll do you on Lhe fronL lawn" and ºl'll do you and your mom." She cerLalnly wasn'L almlng
for Lhe femlnlsL demographlc when she wroLe:
l was [usL Lhlnklng LhaL lL'd be really cool
lf l goL hlL upslde Lhe head wlLh a manly Lool
1haL way he could have noLhlng lefL Lo say
And have hls way wlLh me all day
And who'd ever have LhoughL LhaL Lhe young woman who once sang ºl'm senslLlve and l'd llke
Lo sLay LhaL way" would belL ouL Lhe llne: ºl've been savlng myself my whole llfe for some
moLherfucker llke you Lo come along"?
8esldes belng avallable as llve booLleg, ºCod's ClfL" was recorded ln Lhe sLudlo for Lhe demo
Cu, Save Lhe Llnoleum, LhaL !ewel cuL for record labels. AlLhough some of Lhe oLher Lracks
appeared on her debuL album, Þleces of ?ou, Lhls one has yeL Lo appear on a commerclal
unnamed song by uean MarLln
Þerhaps even more shocklng-or noL, lf you Lhlnk abouL lL-uean MarLln ls alleged Lo have
recorded a dlrLy dlLLy on a lark. ln 1936, he and !erry Lewls were ln Lhe sLudlo Lo record a
commerclal for Lhelr new fllck, 1he Caddy. 1hey kepL flubblng Lhe llnes, whlch sLarLed Lhem
curslng and cuLLlng up. lor several Lakes, Lhey declded Lo be as nasLy as Lhey wanLed Lo be.
1hls musL've glven ulno an ldea, because he Lhen lald down a muslcal number LhaL Lhe l8l-ln
MarLln's flle-laLer characLerlzed as ºexLremely obscene." 1he song and Lhe commerclals were
booLlegged, buL Lhe song sLlll remalns qulLe hard Lo flnd. A record collecLor on Lhe neL says LhaL
Lhe LlLle ls ºAll Amerlcan 8um," buL l've found no conflrmaLlon.
CraLers of Lhe Sac by Ween
College sllly-rockers Ween quasl-offlclally released a seL of songs only onllne, collecLlvely know
as CraLers of Lhe Sac. 1hese MÞ3 Lracks lnclude ºblg faL fuck," ºpuL Lhe coke on my dlck,"
ºmakln' love ln Lhe gravy," and ºsuckln' Lhe blood from Lhe devll's dlck."
133 8lzarre and 8eveallng Spam
Sub[ecL Llnes Leadlng Lo Sexually
Lvery one of Lhe spam senders ln Lhls lnformal survey ls Lrylng-ln Lhe hope LhaL you won'L
lmmedlaLely deleLe Lhem-Lo enLlce you lnLo checklng ouL Lhelr [unk-emall messages and
purchaslng Lhelr producLs. ln LhaL process, Lhey wlll someLlmes dellberaLely (buL noL always
delllberaLely) mlsspell words ln Lhe sub[ecL llnes of Lhelr spams ln order Lo bypass any elecLronlc
fllLers you happen Lo seL up.
As a frlend wrlLes Lo me:
l [usL upgraded Lo ACL 9 whlch has a feaLure LhaL Lakes ouL spam before lL geLs Lo you.
1heoreLlcally you submlL and save a llsL of words you don'L wanL ln your sub[ecL llne-ln my
case some are ºvlagra," ºxanax," ºcheerleaders" and ºmorLgages"-Lhen *volla!* 8uL, as
always, Lhe spammers are one sLep ahead. now l'm geLLlng spam for ºvlagara," ºxannax,"
ºcheer leaders" and ºmorL.gages." l don'L know why Lhey Lhlnk l'd do buslness wlLh anyone
whose spelllng skllls were so faulLy, buL l guess Lhelr LargeL audlence may noL care.
And from anoLher frlend:
Pas anyone had a problem wlLh blocked emall? l have had fully one-Lhlrd of my mall blocked
by my lSÞ LhaL ls runnlng norLon's º8arracuda Spam llrewall." *Þhooey!* lL blocks emall
from frlends and newsleLLers buL leLs Lhe porn, vlagra and ºgrow your penls pllls" Lhrough. l
am Llcked! Anyone else all of a sudden noL hearlng from frlends?
Meanwhlle, federal agenLs have arresLed a man for repeaLedly maklng deaLh LhreaLs agalnsL
employees of an lnLerneL adverLlslng flrm. Pe faces a maxlmum penalLy of flve years ln prlson
and a $230,000 flne lf convlcLed. Pe had mlsLakenly belleved LhaL Lhe company was Lhe source
of unsollclLed emall ads he recelved abouL penls enlargemenL. Well, everybody has Lhelr
Carol Llefer observed on Comedy CenLral LhaL apparenLly Lhere are a loL of people who wanL
her Lo have a blgger penls. And, on Lhe all-female mornlng 1v Lalk show 1he vlew, Lhls
rheLorlcal quesLlon was posed: ºWhlch ls worse, a Llny llLLle penls or a loL of vlolence?" As lf ln
response, a dwarf deLecLlve on a Comedy CenLral promo for Lhelr movle knee-Plgh Þ.l.
observed, ºSomeLlmes Lhe besL dlck ls a small dlck," Lhough you'll never see LhaL ln a sub[ecL
Anyway, here's a qualnL selecLlon of penls-enlarger sub[ecL llnes.
1here's Lhe lmpress-a-female approach:
1. ºWomen have always sald: Slze MaLLers!"
2. ºno glrl wlll glve u a damn lf u have llLLle pe-nls"
3. ºPey My Clrl 8oughL Me Lhe ÞaLch"
4. ºShe llkes my new weenle"
3. ºl am lookln for a blg man llke u! C*u*M* Lo me!"
6. ºWanna be blg enough Lo shock people?"
7. º?ou wlll leave her speechless"
8. ºMake her scream CPPP ?LAAA!"
8uL men also llke Lo lmpress oLher men:
9. ºleal proud when your ln Lhe locker room"
10. º?our frlends wlll envy you" (guaranLeed up Lo 4 rock hard lnches)
Þlus some more cholces for Lhe road:
11. ºkeep praylng eyes away!"
12. ºMonsLer Cocks aL ulscounL Þrlce"
13. ºlmpede her"
14. ºdonL worry abouL ur sLupld llLLle penls, ha ha"
13. ºdo u Lhlnk u sLlll can fuck llke Lhose who has macho dlck?"
16. ºLvery man wlshes he had a larger penls"
17. º8e a man and add a Lhlrd leg"
18. ºLnlarge your Manhood"
19. ºlncrease your penls slze ln one day"
20. ºmy hole was bored ouL by Lhe reaper"
21. º8e happy when you make love!"
22. ºWlLh Lhese pllls you can shooL cum llke a porn sLar!"
23. ºÞenus Lnlarged ln 2 Pours!"
1he mlsleadlng sub[ecL llne ls a popular meLhod of Lrlcklng you:
24. º1lckeLs arrlved" led Lo Lhls message: ºLhere ls no oLher way Lo enlarge your penls."
23-26. 1hls vague sub[ecL llne-ºPey, shlL happens"-and Lhls non sequlLur sub[ecL llne-ºuo
you llke oranges"-boLh led Lo Lhe same message: ºuse Lhls paLch and lL wlll grow l SWLA8.."
And Lhen Lhere was Lhls charmlng mlsleader:
27. ºLnlarge your 8ank AccounL 2-3 lnches ln days"
All rlghL, so now Lhe good news ls LhaL every man has a larger penls. Powever, Lhe bad news ls
LhaL none of Lhem can geL lL up.
ºl remember a spam," wrlLes a frlend, ºabouL free vlagra afLer a Þenls LnlargemenL operaLlon
LhaL would Lake place someplace ln kenya or nlgerla [usL before Lhe search for my share of
several hundred mllllon dollars my new frlend ls cuLLlng me ln on. Seems hls dad sLashed
bulllon ln forelgn accounLs Lo whlch Lhey'd have no access unLll l broughL several Lhousand
dollars flrsL. Could have goLLen way rlch whlle erecL for days whlle l fucked myself."
AnoLher frlend quoLes a spam-ºMasslve rock-solld erecLlons, new naLural producL
bmrgwhmsmnmb"-and adds, ºl llke how lL Lurns lnLo nonsense aL Lhe end. l klnd of plcLure
llke lL's a mlld mannered guy aL Lhe beglnnlng who Lakes Lhe 'naLural' vlagra somewhere ln Lhe
mlddle and Lhen by Lhe end he's llke Lhe lncredlble Pulk wlLh a hard-on so powerful he can'L
even make coherenL sounds. Also: 'lrom kelLh Moon: 8e: Cenerlc vlagra'-AL leasL Lhey have a
sense of humor. Maybe Lhey'll sLarL comlng from '8ush Llmbaugh' nexL."
And now for your readlng pleasure, here's an erecLlon selecLlon:
28. ºSLlck lL on you Lhen sLlck lL Lo her" (vlagra-llke paLch)
29. º8ob uole loves vlagra, so should you!"
30. ºLerrlfylng Lerpslchorean"
31. º1he Assay 1esL"
32. ºMen leL Lhe plllz do Lhe Lalklng"
33. ºls lL Llme Lo upgrade your sysLem?"
34. º?ou wlll be a sex machlne"
33. ºAre you hard aL work?"
36. º?ou blocked my lCC"
37. ºSLay hard for 72 hours." vlagra ads ln magazlnes sLaLe: º?ou should call a docLor
lmmedlaLely lf you ever have an erecLlon LhaL lasLs more Lhan 4 hours. lf noL LreaLed rlghL away,
permanenL damage Lo your penls could occur."
38. 1hls vague sub[ecL llne-ºPl"-led Lo Lhls message: ºSomeLlmes people call lL 'Maglc
LubrlcanL.' SomeLlmes 'Þower 8oLLle.' Why? An amazlng erecLlon Wl1Pln SLvL8AL SLCCnuS ls
guaranLeed Lo you! uouble-sLrengLhed orgasm and full saLlsfacLlon."
39-40. 8oLh ºCan l Make lL up Lo ?ou?" and ºCne LasL CuesLlon" are spam sub[ecL llnes for Lhls
message: ºuld you know you could dlscreeLly order vlagra over Lhe lnLerneL? ?ou don'L have Lo
go Lhrough all Lhe problems of geLLlng lL ln a local pharmacy sLore or explalnlng your problems
Lo Lhe docLor."
Ckay, so now all Lhese horny men have glganLlc penlses and also Lhe medlcal means Lo help
Lhem defy gravlLy and become oh so erecL, buL Lhere's slmply nobody around wlLh whom Lo
share Lhese huge hard-ons. 1haL's where lnLerneL porn-a $10 bllllon lndusLry-comes Lo Lhe
rescue. 8uL please Lry noL Lo e[aculaLe on Lhe keyboard.
41. ºAmaLeur Clrls never 8efore Seen"
42. ºlresh hoL asseLs"
43. ºurunk parLy babes"
44. ºWow-Screwlng Machlnes"
43. º8ondage aL MlsLress Shaved's nasLy leLlsh Club"
46. ºÞussles CeLLlng Slammed"
47. ºÞregnanL Clrls CeLLlng Lald!"
48. ºLook lnslde a pussy wlLh our dlldo-cam"
49. ºwaLch Lhls glrl geL her poousy llps geL parLed wlLh a Longue"
30. º8lg CllLs-MonsLer CllLs"
31. ºenLer Lhls place and you wllll see hard nlpples and plnk beavers"
32. ºl have a mulLl-colored bush for you Lo see"
33. º1he LxecuLlve's uream" (ºyour secreLary ls a dlrLy llLLle Lhlng, and wanLs your Man MeaL!")
Pey, pssL, you wanna see some nlce breasLs? 1ry Lhese for slze:
34. ºAll we have are 8reasLs!"
33. ºuo ?ou Llke 1lLs" (º100,000+ plcs of blg LlLLy glrls")
36. º8lg Puge 8reasLs"
37. ºMelon slze boobles"
38. º!umbo !uggy !ugs"
39. º8lg [ulcy LlLLles"
60. ºÞeLlLe LlLLle 8oobs"
Pow abouL lnLerraclal?
61. ºChoked whlLe whores used as black cum recepLlcals"
62. ºWhlLe Ladles and uark MeaL Look of Þaln!"
Cr whaL abouL lnLernaLlonal?
63. ºnasLy Aslan sex"
64. ºvleL ?ummy"
63. ºLaLln glrls geLLlng fucked"
66. º8e: Lravel plans" (ºWe've goL glrls from counLrles all over Asla spreadlng Lhelr plnk
67. ºl puL Lhe sLallan back ln lLallan.."
uo you prefer four-legged frlends?
68. ºWaLch me fuck a poodle"
69. ºCh my Cod, l had S-L-x WlLh My uog!"
70. ºMeeL Parvey Lhe pussy eaLlng wonder dog!"
71. º1een Lakes a horse dong deep lnslde her flower"
72. ºShe Lakes Lhe 20 lnch horse pole"
73. º1he real farm movle Lhey Lrled Lo ban" (ºguess 8amo's [Lhe horse's] cock slze and wln a
free LlckeL Lo Lhe show")
74. ºuacy uoes uonkeys"
73. ºS*x Wl1P ÞL1S" (º1aken Lo Lhe xLreme")
76. º1hls ls slcker Lhan Mlchael !ackson's daycare" (glrls wlLh farm anlmals)
77. ºPoL women do everyLhlng ln my car" (º?ou ever wanLed Lo see a llve donkey show?" Cosh,
LhaL musL be a very large car.)
?ou dlg flrsL-Llmers?
78. ºAngel's llrsL laclal"
79. ºLrlka's llrsL flve flnger Lxperlence"
80. ºllrsL 1lme Lesblans!"
know how Lo make (or Lake) a flsL?
81. ºMlss llsL-a-LoL!"
82. ºÞorn Cueens llsLfucked for 8eal"
83. ºCeL ?our llsLlng ÞarLy SLarLed!"
CoL oral sex?
84. ºCum Squad SquaL!"
83. ºlree plcs of Leen SluLs Sucklng AlmlghL Cocks!"
86. º?oung Þussy Llckers"
87. ºClrls love Lo LasLy cum"
88. ºShooLlng lncldenL" (Max CumshoL)
89. ºSee Lhem spurL!" (ºCumshakes, 1housands of PoL Cum Covered Clrls")
90. ºl blew my load all over her" (laclal llasco)
91. ºShe swallowed lL all, Cum splaLLered all over her face"
92. º!lzz drlzzled all over my face help me!"
93. ºSarah sucklng balls"
94. º8lLe LhaL cock!"
Cr maybe anal?
93. ºuolng Per Ass"
96. ºMy Clrl Llkes Anal Sex"
97. ºnasLy Clrls uolng 8ackdoor"
98. ºl've applled Lo 4 unlverslLles, buL Lhls one has Lhe besL programs" (ºWe're golng Lo send
you Lo Anal unlverslLy")
Colden shower, anyone?
99. ºShe's a Þee lanaLlc!"
100. ºShe peed on me!"
Age ls no barrler:
101. ºvlrgln Schoolglrls"
102. ºCranky debuLanLes"
103. º1een sluLs gone wlld"
104. º1lghL 1een CunLs"
103. ºwaLch me spread Lhls Leens Þucey llps"
106. ºCrdlnary Clrls wlLh Spread Legs-naughLy glrls fresh ouL of hlgh school"
107 ºCuLe glrls ln college spreadlng Lhelr legs"
108. ºAged woman spreads legs"
109. ºLovlng for grannles"
110. ºPoL nude Cranny" (º1he Þremler MaLure Lady SlLe")
nelLher ls gender:
111. ºCrazy Cay AcLlon only Lhe 8lCCLS1 Cay Cocks lnslde"
112. ºnew reallLy slLe wlLh young boys"
113. ºCay closeL movles"
114. ºsex crazed lesblans"
nor marrlage vows:
113. ºl'm ready Lo cheaL on my husand"
116. ºWlLh Lhe klds asleep, mom geLs wlld and klnky"
117. ºSlL back, relax and geL a blow [ob from a woman aL LZ CheaLng LonlghL"
118. ºwaLch Lhese ladles geL nalled whlle Lhe klds are ln bed"
119. ºln here ls over 3 hundred Lhousand plcLures of hoL moms naked"
120. ºLook aL a hoL mom Laklng a shower and shavlng her vaglna"
121. º1he SLaLe Survey" (ºPow many chlldren do you clalm? 8eal yummy mummys")
122-123. ºuon'L 8e Shy" and ºÞlease don'L Lell anyone" boLh lead Lo ºa revoluLlonary new
servlce connecLlng cheaLlng wlves wlLh slngle men."
CelebrlLles, from Þamela Anderson Lo Þarls PllLon, ln home-made sex vldeos are
of course a speclal LreaL on Lhe World Wlde Web:
124. ºPello! Þarls PllLon [usL drlnks love [ulce!"
123. º!. Lo's nlpples"
126. º!. Lo caughL eaLlng a booger" (whaLever Lurns you on)
Pere, have a sub[ecL-llne monLage:
127. º8ob sald you'd wanL Lhls"
128. ºnaked Clrls nexL uoor" (ºLnLer here Lo fuck Lhese hoL glrls")
129. º(no sub[ecL)" (ºuo you ever flnd yourself Lhlnklng abouL whaL lL would be llke Lo see
naked glrls all day?")
130. ºlusLy LransvesLlLes Lake plcLure for you"
131. ºupsklrL panLy peaks"
132. ºPer cherrry geLs popped!"
133. ºWaLch Lhese young Leens geL explolLed-severely!"
134. º100° hoL blLches"
133. ºAs vulg[r as lL geLz"
136. º1he slckesL place on earLh" (mldgeLs, anlmals, Lrannles, flsLlng, pregnanL, enemas)
137. ºunreal ÞeneLraLlons"
138. ºSecurlLy Cuards l_ucklng PoL Clrls"
139. º1ake care" (ºlnsane orgles")
140. º3 Clrls gangbanged"
141. º1hese Cuys uon'L have a Chance!" (ºPoL ?oung locals Seduce unknowlng 1ourlsL!")
142. ºSLop wasLlng money on women!"
Some spam sub[ecL llnes have a cerLaln sexual aura, buL lead you Lo non-sexual
143. ºuo you know l love you" (money lender)
144. ºSee my newesL movle" (wholesale prescrlpLlon medlclnes)
143. ºAs good as lL geLs" (onllne poker)
146. ºlL ls hard" (º8anned Cu, CovernmenL don'L wanL me Lo sell lL. ?our own l8l flle, drlvlng
record, crlmlnal daLabases")
147. ºWe CoL Lhe Spread" (ºnude, buL cllck here Lo beL now! nlL odds")
148. º8each Clrls" (ºlorgeL Aglng and uleLlng forever")
149-130. ºllrsL 1lme" (for boLh ºWholesale prescrlpLlon medlcaLlons aL bargaln prlces" and
º1erm-llfe coverage aL reduced raLes ls now avallable")
131-132. ºl can come" and ºCorrupLed exlsLenLlally" boLh lead Lo welghL-loss messages.
133. And flnally, here's my own personal favorlLe spam, whlch came from uarkÞroflLs.com. 1he
sub[ecL llne reads: º?our credlL card has been Charged for $234.63"-whlch leads Lo Lhe
followlng message, headllned ºlmporLanL noLlce:"
We have [usL charged your credlL card for money laundry servlce ln amounL of $234.63
(because you are elLher chlld pornography webmasLer or deal wlLh dlrLy money, whlch
requlre us Lo laundry Lhem and Lhen send Lo your checklng accounL). lf you feel Lhls
LransacLlon was made by our mlsLake, please press ºno." lf you conflrm Lhls LransacLlon,
please press º?es" and flll ln Lhe form below. LnLer your credlL card number here.
LnLer your credlL card explraLlon daLe.
ln Lhe lmmorLal words of 8arL Slmpson, ºl dldn'L Lhlnk lL was physlcally posslble, buL Lhls boLh
sucks and blows."
LlS1 37 11 CuoLes AbouL Sex
ºlf you're noL golng all Lhe way, why go aL all?"
º1hose who resLraln ueslre, do so because Lhelrs ls weak enough Lo be resLralned."
ºLroLlc lmpulses are a never-endlng source of lngenlous, even wondrous consLrucLlons. AlmosL
any ob[ecL or body funcLlon can be eroLlclzed."
-8oberL !. SLoller, M.u., sexologlsL and psychlaLry professor aL uCLA
ºWhen a woman has LasLed a dog, she wlll never wanL a man agaln."
-courL LranscrlpL of ºan unnamed 19Lh-cenLury Lngllsh servlng glrl"
ºChasLlLy ls Lhe mosL unnaLural of Lhe sexual perverslons."
-8emy de CourmonL
ºLove aln'L noLhlng buL sex mlsspelled."
º1he sex relaLlon ls noL a personal relaLlon. lL can be lrreslsLlbly deslred and rapLurously
consummaLed beLween persons who could noL endure one anoLher for a day ln any oLher
-Ceorge 8ernard Shaw
ºÞlaylng Lo lose ls llke sleeplng wlLh your slsLer. Sure, she's a greaL plece of Lall wlLh a blouse full
of goodles, buL lL's [usL lllegal"
-º1opper Parley" (Charlle Sheen) ln PoL ShoLs!
ºMarrlage flnds lLs naLural fulflllmenL ln adulLery."
-Slmone de 8eauvolr
ºl also see sex ln Lhe [olnlng wlndows, ln Lhe archways of doors, on Lhe paLLern a fence makes
on Lhe ground, ln shadows. Who ls Lo say Lhose myrlad of angles we see every day are noL
-Andrel Codrescu, 1he 8epenLance of Lorralne, 1973
ºA sexual deslre holds no lnLeresL for me unless lL ls accompanled by love, and for love l would
-8en[amln ÞereL, SurreallsL poeL
LlS1 38 3 lamlly-Safe 8lbles
1he Cood 8ook ls so pornographlc and vlolenL LhaL several goodly ChrlsLlans Lrled Lo make lL flL
for famlly readlng, publlshlng flve such verslons ln a 37-year perlod.
ln 1796, Lhe 8lshop of London puL ouL a 8lble ln whlch each chapLer was raLed wlLh one of four
deslgnaLlons. 1he fourLh deslgnaLlon-whlch was acLually no deslgnaLlon aL all-was glven Lo
Lhe nasLy parLs.
Swedenborg follower !ohn 8ellamy offered a C-raLed verslon ln 1818.
1824 saw Lhe publlcaLlon of 1he new lamlly 8lble and lmproved verslon, whlch Look a scalpel
Lo Lhe ºoffenslve" parLs.
Soon afLer, a Cuaker released a 8lble wlLh Lhe naughLy blLs Loned down and prlnLed ln lLallcs so
Lhey could easlly be avolded (or easlly read).
Legendary lexlcographer noah WebsLer, who creaLed Lhe flrsL Lngllsh-language dlcLlonary,
publlshed a heavlly reworded edlLlon ln 1833.
LlS1 39 18 8lbllcal ALroclLles
Cod burns whlners allve
And when Lhe people complalned, lL dlspleased Lhe LC8u: and Lhe LC8u heard lL, and hls anger
was klndled, and Lhe flre of Lhe LC8u burnL among Lhem, and consumed Lhem LhaL were ln Lhe
uLLermosL parLs of Lhe camp. [numbers 11:1, klng !ames]
Cod polsons complalners
And Lhe people spoke agalnsL Cod and agalnsL Moses, ºWhy have you broughL us up ouL of
LgypL Lo dle ln Lhe wllderness? lor Lhere ls no food and no waLer, and we loaLhe Lhls worLhless
food." 1hen Lhe LC8u senL flery serpenLs among Lhe people, and Lhey blL Lhe people, so LhaL
many people of lsrael dled. [numbers 21:3-6, new Amerlcan SLandard]
Smashlng bables on rocks ls a good Lhlng
C uaughLer of 8abylon, doomed Lo desLrucLlon, happy ls he who repays you for whaL you have
done Lo us-he who selzes your lnfanLs and dashes Lhem agalnsL Lhe rocks. [Þsalms 137:8-9,
An angel commlLs mass murder
1haL nlghL Lhe angel of Lhe LC8u wenL ouL and puL Lo deaLh a hundred and elghLy-flve Lhousand
men ln Lhe Assyrlan camp. When Lhe people goL up Lhe nexL mornlng-Lhere were all Lhe dead
bodles! [2 klngs 19:33, new lnLernaLlonal]
Cod commlLs genoclde of bables
AL mldnlghL Lhe LC8u sLruck down all Lhe flrsLborn ln LgypL, from Lhe flrsLborn of Þharaoh, who
saL on Lhe Lhrone, Lo Lhe flrsLborn of Lhe prlsoner, who was ln Lhe dungeon, and Lhe flrsLborn of
all Lhe llvesLock as well. [Lxodus 12:29, klng !ames]
Cod causes cannlballsm
[Cod says:] l wlll make Lhem eaL Lhe flesh of Lhelr sons and daughLers, and Lhey wlll eaL one
anoLher's flesh durlng Lhe sLress of Lhe slege lmposed on Lhem by Lhe enemles who seek Lhelr
llves. [!eremlah 19:9, new lnLernaLlonal]
Cod demands heads
And Lhe LC8u sald unLo Moses, 1ake all Lhe heads of Lhe people, and hang Lhem up before Lhe
LC8u agalnsL Lhe sun, LhaL Lhe flerce anger of Lhe LC8u may be Lurned away from lsrael.
[numbers 23:4, klng !ames]
Cod commands slaughLer and rape
[Moses says:] now klll all Lhe boys. And klll every woman who has slepL wlLh a man, buL save for
yourselves every glrl who has never slepL wlLh a man. [numbers 31:17-18, new lnLernaLlonal]
Cod commands genoclde and plunder
[Moses says:] And Lhe LC8u sald unLo me, 8ehold, l have begun Lo glve Slhon and hls land
before Lhee: begln Lo possess, LhaL Lhou mayesL lnherlL hls land. 1hen Slhon came ouL agalnsL
us, he and all hls people, Lo flghL aL !ahaz. And Lhe LC8u our Cod dellvered hlm before us, and
we smoLe hlm, and hls sons, and all hls people. And we Look all hls clLles aL LhaL Llme, and
uLLerly desLroyed Lhe men, and Lhe women, and Lhe llLLle ones, of every clLy, we lefL none Lo
remaln: Cnly Lhe caLLle we Look for a prey unLo ourselves, and Lhe spoll of Lhe clLles whlch we
Look. [ueuLeronomy 2:31-33, klng !ames]
Cod commands slaughLer, rape, and plunder
When Lhe LC8u your Cod dellvers lL lnLo your hand, puL Lo Lhe sword all Lhe men ln lL. As for Lhe
women, Lhe chlldren, Lhe llvesLock and everyLhlng else ln Lhe clLy, you may Lake Lhese as
plunder for yourselves. And you may use Lhe plunder Lhe LC8u your Cod glves you from your
enemles. [ueuLeronomy 20:13-14, new lnLernaLlonal]
Cod asslsLs slaughLer and muLllaLlon
When !udah aLLacked, Lhe LC8u gave Lhe CanaanlLes and ÞerlzzlLes lnLo Lhelr hands and Lhey
sLruck down Len Lhousand men aL 8ezek. lL was Lhere LhaL Lhey found Adonl-8ezek and foughL
agalnsL hlm, puLLlng Lo rouL Lhe CanaanlLes and ÞerlzzlLes. Adonl-8ezek fled, buL Lhey chased
hlm and caughL hlm, and cuL off hls Lhumbs and blg Loes. [!udges 1:4-6, new lnLernaLlonal]
Cang rape, murder, and dlsmembermenL
Whlle Lhey were en[oylng Lhemselves, some of Lhe wlcked men of Lhe clLy surrounded Lhe
house. Þoundlng on Lhe door, Lhey shouLed Lo Lhe old man who owned Lhe house, º8rlng ouL
Lhe man who came Lo your house so we can have sex wlLh hlm."
1he owner of Lhe house wenL ouLslde and sald Lo Lhem, ºno, my frlends, don'L be so vlle. Slnce
Lhls man ls my guesL, don'L do Lhls dlsgraceful Lhlng. Look, here ls my vlrgln daughLer, and hls
concublne. l wlll brlng Lhem ouL Lo you now, and you can use Lhem and do Lo Lhem whaLever
you wlsh. 8uL Lo Lhls man, don'L do such a dlsgraceful Lhlng."
8uL Lhe men would noL llsLen Lo hlm. So Lhe man Look hls concublne and senL her ouLslde Lo
Lhem, and Lhey raped her and abused her LhroughouL Lhe nlghL, and aL dawn Lhey leL her go. AL
daybreak Lhe woman wenL back Lo Lhe house where her masLer was sLaylng, fell down aL Lhe
door and lay Lhere unLll dayllghL. When her masLer goL up ln Lhe mornlng and opened Lhe door
of Lhe house and sLepped ouL Lo conLlnue on hls way, Lhere lay hls concublne, fallen ln Lhe
doorway of Lhe house, wlLh her hands on Lhe Lhreshold. Pe sald Lo her, ºCeL up, leL's go." 8uL
Lhere was no answer. 1hen Lhe man puL her on hls donkey and seL ouL for home. When he
reached home, he Look a knlfe and cuL up hls concublne, llmb by llmb, lnLo Lwelve parLs and
senL Lhem lnLo all Lhe areas of lsrael. [!udges 19:22-29, new lnLernaLlonal]
Cod glves men Lumors and bolls on Lhelr genlLals
And Lhey carrled Lhe ark of Lhe Cod of lsrael abouL LhlLher. And lL was so, LhaL, afLer Lhey had
carrled lL abouL, Lhe hand of Lhe LC8u was agalnsL Lhe clLy wlLh a very greaL desLrucLlon: and he
smoLe Lhe men of Lhe clLy, boLh small and greaL, and Lhey had emerods ln Lhelr secreL parLs
[l.e., Lumors and bolls on Lhelr genlLals]. [1 Samuel 3:8-9, klng !ames]
uavld collecLs foresklns
uavld and hls men wenL ouL and kllled Lwo hundred ÞhlllsLlnes. Pe broughL Lhelr foresklns and
presenLed Lhe full number Lo Lhe klng so LhaL he mlghL become Lhe klng's son-ln-law. 1hen Saul
gave hlm hls daughLer Mlchal ln marrlage. [1 Samuel 18:27, new lnLernaLlonal]
Amnon rapes hls slsLer, Lhen klcks her ouL
1hen Amnon sald Lo 1amar, º8rlng Lhe food here lnLo my bedroom so l may eaL from your
hand." And 1amar Look Lhe bread she had prepared and broughL lL Lo her broLher Amnon ln hls
bedroom. 8uL when she Look lL Lo hlm Lo eaL, he grabbed her and sald, ºCome Lo bed wlLh me,
ºuon'L, my broLher!" she sald Lo hlm. ºuon'L force me. Such a Lhlng should noL be done ln
lsrael! uon'L do Lhls wlcked Lhlng. WhaL abouL me? Where could l geL rld of my dlsgrace? And
whaL abouL you? ?ou would be llke one of Lhe wlcked fools ln lsrael. Þlease speak Lo Lhe klng,
he wlll noL keep me from belng marrled Lo you."
8uL he refused Lo llsLen Lo her, and slnce he was sLronger Lhan she, he raped her. 1hen Amnon
haLed her wlLh lnLense haLred. ln facL, he haLed her more Lhan he had loved her. Amnon sald Lo
her, ºCeL up and geL ouL!" [2 Samuel 13:10-13, new lnLernaLlonal]
Cod muLllaLes [eerlng youngsLers vla Lwo bears
lrom Lhere Lllsha wenL up Lo 8eLhel. As he was walklng along Lhe road, some youLhs came ouL
of Lhe Lown and [eered aL hlm. ºCo on up, you baldhead!" Lhey sald. ºCo on up, you baldhead!"
Pe Lurned around, looked aL Lhem and called down a curse on Lhem ln Lhe name of Lhe LC8u.
1hen Lwo bears came ouL of Lhe woods and mauled forLy-Lwo of Lhe youLhs. [2 klngs 2:23-24,
lnfanLlclde, rape, and looLlng for Cod
Whoever ls capLured [ln 8abylon] wlll be LhrusL Lhrough, all who are caughL wlll fall by Lhe
sword. 1helr lnfanLs wlll be dashed Lo pleces before Lhelr eyes, Lhelr houses wlll be looLed and
Lhelr wlves ravlshed. [lsalah 13:13-16, new lnLernaLlonal]
kllllng bables, sllclng open preggles
1he people of Samarla musL bear Lhelr gullL, because Lhey have rebelled agalnsL Lhelr Cod. 1hey
wlll fall by Lhe sword, Lhelr llLLle ones wlll be dashed Lo Lhe ground, Lhelr pregnanL women
rlpped open. [Posea 13:16, new lnLernaLlonal]
LlS1 60 21 8lbllcal ConLradlcLlons
A lovlng, merclful Cod?
1he LC8u ls good Lo all: and hls Lender mercles are over all hls works. [Þsalms 143:9]
.Cod ls love. [1 !ohn 4:8]
[Cod says:] l wlll noL plLy, nor spare, nor have mercy, buL desLroy Lhem. [!eremlah 13:14]
[Cod says:] lf LhaL naLlon, agalnsL whom l have pronounced, Lurn from Lhelr evll, l wlll repenL of
Lhe evll LhaL l LhoughL Lo do unLo Lhem. [!eremlah 18:8]
[!esus says:] And fear noL Lhem whlch klll Lhe body, buL are noL able Lo klll Lhe soul: buL raLher
fear hlm whlch ls able Lo desLroy boLh soul and body ln hell. [MaLLhew 10:28]
Powl ye, for Lhe day of Lhe LC8u ls aL hand, lL shall come as a desLrucLlon from Lhe AlmlghLy..
8ehold, Lhe day of Lhe LC8u-comeLh, cruel boLh wlLh wraLh and flerce anger, Lo lay Lhe land
desolaLe: and he shall desLroy Lhe slnners Lhereof ouL of lL.. 1herefore l wlll shake Lhe heavens,
and Lhe earLh shall remove ouL of her place, ln Lhe wraLh of Lhe LC8u of hosLs, and ln Lhe day of
hls flerce anger. [lsalah 13:6,9,13]
8uL Cod wlll smash Lhe heads of hls enemles, crushlng Lhe skulls of Lhose who love Lhelr gullLy
ways. 1he LC8u says, ºl wlll brlng my enemles down from 8ashan, l wlll brlng Lhem up from Lhe
depLhs of Lhe sea. ?ou, my people, wlll wash your feeL ln Lhelr blood, and even your dogs wlll
geL Lhelr share!" [Þsalms 68:21-23, new Llvlng 1ranslaLlon]
A peaceful Cod?
now Lhe Cod of peace be wlLh you all. Amen. [8omans 13:33]
1he LC8u ls a man of war: Lhe LC8u ls hls name. [Lxodus 13:3]
uo chlldren pay Lhe prlce?
[Cod says:] 1he faLhers shall noL be puL Lo deaLh for Lhe chlldren, nor Lhe chlldren be puL Lo
deaLh for Lhe faLhers, buL every man shall be puL Lo deaLh for hls own sln. [2 klngs 14:6]
[Cod says:] 1he son shall noL bear Lhe lnlqulLy of Lhe faLher, nelLher shall Lhe faLher bear Lhe
lnlqulLy of Lhe son: Lhe rlghLeousness of Lhe rlghLeous shall be upon hlm, and Lhe wlckedness of
Lhe wlcked shall be upon hlm. [Lzeklel 18:20]
l Lhe LC8u Lhy Cod am a [ealous Cod, vlslLlng Lhe lnlqulLy of Lhe faLhers upon Lhe chlldren unLo
Lhe Lhlrd and fourLh generaLlon of Lhem LhaL haLe me, [Lxodus 20:3]
1o swear oaLhs or noL Lo swear oaLhs?
Above all, my broLhers, do noL swear-noL by heaven or by earLh or by anyLhlng else. [!ames
3:12, new lnLernaLlonal]
When Cod made hls promlse Lo Abraham, slnce Lhere was no one greaLer for hlm Lo swear by,
he swore by hlmself, saylng, ºl wlll surely bless you and glve you many descendanLs." And so
afLer walLlng paLlenLly, Abraham recelved whaL was promlsed. Men swear by someone greaLer
Lhan Lhemselves, and Lhe oaLh conflrms whaL ls sald and puLs an end Lo all argumenL. [Pebrews
6:13-16, new lnLernaLlonal]
laLher and Son, or laLher ls Son?
[!esus sald:] l and my laLher are one. [!ohn 10:30]
[!esus sald:] lf ye loved me, ye would re[olce, because l sald, l go unLo Lhe laLher: for my laLher
ls greaLer Lhan l. [!ohn 14:28]
Sevens or Lwos?
Cf every clean beasL Lhou shalL Lake Lo Lhee by sevens, Lhe male and hls female: and of beasLs
LhaL are noL clean by Lwo, Lhe male and hls female. [Cenesls 7:2]
Cf clean beasLs, and of beasLs LhaL are noL clean, and of fowls, and of every Lhlng LhaL creepeLh
upon Lhe earLh, 1here wenL ln Lwo and Lwo unLo noah lnLo Lhe ark, Lhe male and Lhe female, as
Cod had commanded noah. [Cenesls 7:8-9]
1he Lwo deaLhs of !udas lscarloL
And he [!udas] casL down Lhe pleces of sllver ln Lhe Lemple, and deparLed, and wenL and
hanged hlmself. [MaLLhew 27:3]
now Lhls man [!udas] purchased a fleld wlLh Lhe reward of lnlqulLy, and falllng headlong, he
bursL asunder ln Lhe mldsL, and all hls bowels gushed ouL. [AcLs 1:18]
1he lasL words (or noL) of !esus
And abouL Lhe nlnLh hour !esus crled wlLh a loud volce, saylng, Lll, ell, lama sabach-Lhanl? LhaL
ls Lo say, My Cod, my Cod, why hasL Lhou forsaken me?.!esus, when he crled agaln wlLh a loud
volce, ylelded up Lhe ghosL. [MaLLhew 27:46,30]
And when !esus had crled wlLh a loud volce, he sald, laLher, unLo Lhy hands l commend my
splrlL: and havlng sald Lhus, he gave up Lhe ghosL. [Luke 23:46]
When !esus Lherefore had recelved Lhe vlnegar, he sald, lL ls flnlshed: and he bowed hls head,
and gave up Lhe ghosL. [!ohn 19:30]
!oseph had Lwo dads?
And !acob begaL !oseph Lhe husband of Mary, of whom was born !esus, who ls called ChrlsL.
And !esus hlmself began Lo be abouL LhlrLy years of age, belng (as was supposed) Lhe son of
!oseph, whlch was Lhe son of Pell, [Luke 3:23]
no klds or flve?
1herefore Mlchal Lhe daughLer of Saul had no chlld unLo Lhe day of her deaLh. [2 Samuel 6:23]
8uL Lhe klng Look Lhe Lwo sons of 8lzpah Lhe daughLer of Alah, whom she bare unLo Saul,
Armonl and MephlbosheLh, and Lhe flve sons of Mlchal Lhe daughLer of Saul, whom she
broughL up for Adrlel Lhe son of 8arzlllal Lhe MeholaLhlLe: [2 Samuel 21:8]
Pearlng volces, maybe
And Lhe men whlch [ourneyed wlLh hlm [Saul] sLood speechless, hearlng a volce, buL seelng no
man. [AcLs 9:7]
[Saul says:] And Lhey LhaL were wlLh me saw lndeed Lhe llghL, and were afrald, buL Lhey heard
noL Lhe volce of hlm LhaL spake Lo me. [AcLs 22:9]
CmnlsclenL or bllnd?
ºCan anyone hlde ln secreL places so LhaL l cannoL see hlm?" declares Lhe LC8u. ºuo noL l flll
heaven and earLh?" declares Lhe LC8u. [!eremlah 23:24, new lnLernaLlonal]
noLhlng ln all creaLlon ls hldden from Cod's slghL. LveryLhlng ls uncovered and lald bare before
Lhe eyes of hlm Lo whom we musL glve accounL. [Pebrews 4:13, new lnLernaLlonal]
1hen Lhe LC8u sald Lo Caln, ºWhere ls your broLher Abel?" [Cenesls 4:9, new lnLernaLlonal]
1hen Lhe man and hls wlfe heard Lhe sound of Lhe LC8u Cod as he was walklng ln Lhe garden ln
Lhe cool of Lhe day, and Lhey hld from Lhe LC8u Cod among Lhe Lrees of Lhe garden. 8uL Lhe
LC8u Cod called Lo Lhe man, ºWhere are you?" [Cenesls 3:8-9, new lnLernaLlonal]
Should you honor or haLe your parenLs?
Ponour Lhy faLher and Lhy moLher: [Lxodus 20:12]
lor Cod commanded, saylng, Ponour Lhy faLher and moLher: and, Pe LhaL curseLh faLher or
moLher, leL hlm dle Lhe deaLh. [MaLLhew 13:4]
[!esus says:] lf any man come Lo me, and haLe noL hls faLher, and moLher, and wlfe, and
chlldren, and breLhren, and slsLers, yea, and hls own llfe also, he cannoL be my dlsclple. [Luke
Lye for eye, cheek for cheek
8reach for breach, eye for eye, LooLh for LooLh: as he haLh caused a blemlsh ln a man, so shall lL
be done Lo hlm agaln. [LeveLlcus 24:20]
[!esus sald:] 8uL l say unLo you, 1haL ye reslsL noL evll: buL whosoever shall smlLe Lhee on Lhy
rlghL cheek, Lurn Lo hlm Lhe oLher also.. 8uL l say unLo you, Love your enemles, bless Lhem LhaL
curse you, do good Lo Lhem LhaL haLe you, and pray for Lhem whlch desplLefully use you, and
persecuLe you, [MaLLhew 3:38,44]
1he four deaLhs of Saul
1hen sald Saul unLo hls armourbearer, uraw Lhy sword, and LhrusL me Lhrough LherewlLh, lesL
Lhese unclrcumclsed come and LhrusL me Lhrough, and abuse me. 8uL hls armourbearer would
noL, for he was sore afrald. 1herefore Saul Look a sword, and fell upon lL. [1 Samuel 31:4]
And he [Saul] sald unLo me, Who arL Lhou? And l answered hlm, l am an AmaleklLe. Pe sald
unLo me agaln, SLand, l pray Lhee, upon me, and slay me: for angulsh ls come upon me, because
my llfe ls yeL whole ln me. So l sLood upon hlm, and slew hlm, because l was sure LhaL he could
noL llve afLer LhaL he was fallen: [2 Samuel 1:8-10]
And uavld wenL and Look Lhe bones of Saul and Lhe bones of !onaLhan hls son from Lhe men of
!abeshgllead, whlch had sLolen Lhem from Lhe sLreeL of 8eLhshan, where Lhe ÞhlllsLlnes had
hanged Lhem, when Lhe ÞhlllsLlnes had slaln Saul ln Cllboa: [2 Samuel 21:12]
So Saul dled for hls Lransgresslon whlch he commlLLed agalnsL Lhe LC8u, even agalnsL Lhe word
of Lhe LC8u, whlch he kepL noL, and also for asklng counsel of one LhaL had a famlllar splrlL, Lo
enqulre of lL, And enqulred noL of Lhe LC8u: Lherefore he slew hlm, and Lurned Lhe klngdom
unLo uavld Lhe son of !esse. [1 Chronlcles 10:13-14]
lorever lsn'L whaL lL used Lo be
CeneraLlons come and generaLlons go, buL Lhe earLh remalns forever. [LccleslasLes 1:4]
[!esus says:] Peaven and earLh wlll pass away, buL my words wlll never pass away. [MaLLhew
1had or !ude?
MaLLhew [10:2] and Mark [3:16-19] llsL Lhe 1welve AposLles as lncludlng 1haddaeus (Labbaeus),
buL Luke [6:13-16] doesn'L lnclude 1haddeus. lnsLead, Lhe LwelfLh AposLle ls !udas Lhe son of
!ames (dlfferenL Lhan !udas lscarloL).
[!esus says:] ?ou [udge by human sLandards, l pass [udgmenL on no one. [!ohn 8:13, new
Moreover, Lhe laLher [udges no one, buL has enLrusLed all [udgmenL Lo Lhe Son, [!ohn 3:22,
Moreover, Lhe laLher [udges no one, buL has enLrusLed all [udgmenL Lo Lhe Son, [!ohn 3:22,
Slnce you call on a laLher who [udges each man's work lmparLlally, llve your llves as sLrangers
here ln reverenL fear. [1 ÞeLer 1:17, new lnLernaLlonal]
now we know LhaL Cod's [udgmenL agalnsL Lhose who do such Lhlngs ls based on LruLh.
[8omans 2:2, new lnLernaLlonal]
!esus ln Pell?
[!esus says:] Whosoever shall say 1hou fool, shall be ln danger of hellflre. [MaLLhew 3:22]
[!esus says:] ?e fools and bllnd. [MaLLhew 23:17]
CmnlpoLenL or lmpoLenL?
8uL !esus beheld Lhem, and sald unLo Lhem, WlLh men Lhls ls lmposslble, buL wlLh Cod all Lhlngs
are posslble. [MaLLhew 19:26]
And Lhe LC8u was wlLh !udah, and he drave ouL Lhe lnhablLanLs of Lhe mounLaln, buL could noL
drlve ouL Lhe lnhablLanLs of Lhe valley, because Lhey had charloLs of lron. [!udges 1:19]
noLe: All passages are from Lhe klng !ames verslon, unless oLherwlse noLed.
LlS1 61 8 8ooks 1haL uldn'L Make lL lnLo
8ack ln Lhe days before groups of men declded whaL books would comprlse Lhe 8lble, scads of
!ewlsh and ChrlsLlan wrlLlngs were floaLlng around. Pere are some LhaL Lhe blshops and rulers
dldn'L lnclude ln Lhe Cood 8ook.
1he llrsL 8ook of Adam and Lve
AfLer belng casL ouL of Lhe Carden of Lden, Adam and Lve Lrudge up a mounLaln LhaL looks
down on Lhelr paradlse losL:
1hen Adam Lhrew hlmself down from Lhe Lop of LhaL mounLaln, hls face was Lorn and hls
flesh was rlpped, he losL a loL of blood and was close Lo deaLh. Meanwhlle Lve remalned
sLandlng on Lhe mounLaln crylng over hlm, Lhus lylng. And she sald, ºl don'L wlsh Lo llve
afLer hlm, for all LhaL he dld Lo hlmself was Lhrough me." 1hen she Lhrew herself afLer hlm,
and was Lorn and rlpped by sLones, and remalned lylng as dead. 8uL Lhe merclful Cod, who
looks over Pls creaLures, looked aL Adam and Lve as Lhey lay dead, and Pe senL Pls Word Lo
Lhem, and ralsed Lhem. [21:4-8]
1he 8ook of Lhe SecreLs of Lnoch
ln Lhls dlsLlncLly odd book, angels Lake Lnoch Lo Peaven, where Cod shooLs Lhe breeze wlLh
hlm, explalnlng Lhe CreaLlon, Adam and Lve's fall, SaLan, eLc. upon reachlng Lhe Lop level of
Peaven, Lnoch meeLs Lhe 8lg C:
Cn Lhe LenLh heaven, [whlch ls called] AravoLh, l saw Lhe appearance of Lhe LC8u'S face,
llke lron made Lo glow ln flre, and broughL ouL, emlLLlng sparks, and lL burns. 1hus l saw Lhe
LC8u'S face, buL Lhe LC8u'S face ls lneffable, marvellous and very awful, and very, very
Lerrlble. And who am l Lo Lell of Lhe LC8u'S unspeakable belng, and of hls very wonderful
face? And l cannoL Lell Lhe quanLlLy of hls many lnsLrucLlons, and varlous volces, Lhe LC8u'S
Lhrone very greaL and noL made wlLh hands, nor Lhe quanLlLy of Lhose sLandlng round hlm,
Lroops of cherublm and seraphlm, nor Lhelr lncessanL slnglng, nor hls lmmuLable beauLy, and
who shall Lell of Lhe lneffable greaLness of hls glory? [22:1-3]
1he AlmlghLy explalns, more or less, whaL Lhe scene was llke before he pulled off Lhe CreaLlon:
lor before all Lhlng were vlslble, l alone used Lo go abouL ln Lhe lnvlslble Lhlngs, llke Lhe sun
from easL Lo wesL, and from wesL Lo easL. 8uL even Lhe sun has peace ln lLself, whlle l found
no peace, because l was creaLlng all Lhlngs, and l concelved Lhe LhoughL of placlng
foundaLlons, and of creaLlng vlslble creaLlon. [24:4-3]
Cod glves Lhe lowdown on maklng Adam:
ºCn Lhe slxLh day l commanded my wlsdom Lo creaLe man from seven conslsLencles: one, hls
flesh from Lhe earLh, Lwo, hls blood from Lhe dew, Lhree, hls eyes from Lhe sun, four, hls
bones from sLone, flve, hls lnLelllgence from Lhe swlfLness of Lhe angels and from cloud, slx,
hls velns and hls halr from Lhe grass of Lhe earLh, seven, hls soul from my breaLh and from
Lhe wlnd. And l gave hlm seven naLures: Lo Lhe flesh hearlng, Lhe eyes for slghL, Lo Lhe soul
smell, Lhe velns for Louch, Lhe blood for LasLe, Lhe bones for endurance, Lo Lhe lnLelllgence
sweeLness [en[oymenL]." [30:10-11]
1he llrsL 8ook of Lnoch
And lL came Lo pass when Lhe chlldren of men had mulLlplled LhaL ln Lhose days were born
unLo Lhem beauLlful and comely daughLers. And Lhe angels, Lhe chlldren of Lhe heaven, saw
and lusLed afLer Lhem, and sald Lo one anoLher: ºCome, leL us choose us wlves from among
Lhe chlldren of men and begeL us chlldren.". And all Lhe oLhers LogeLher wlLh Lhem Look
unLo Lhemselves wlves, and each chose for hlmself one, and Lhey began Lo go ln unLo Lhem
and Lo deflle Lhemselves wlLh Lhem, and Lhey LaughL Lhem charms and enchanLmenLs, and
Lhe cuLLlng of rooLs, and made Lhem acqualnLed wlLh planLs. And Lhey became pregnanL, and
Lhey bare greaL glanLs, whose helghL was Lhree Lhousand ells: Who consumed all Lhe
acqulslLlons of men. And when men could no longer susLaln Lhem, Lhe glanLs Lurned agalnsL
Lhem and devoured manklnd. And Lhey began Lo sln agalnsL blrds, and beasLs, and repLlles,
and flsh, and Lo devour one anoLher's flesh, and drlnk Lhe blood. [6:1-3, 7:1-6]
1he Cospel of Lhe 8lrLh of Mary
1hls book fllls Lhe vold abouL Lhe llfe of Lhe vlrgln Mary. Angels appear Lo her parenLs, Lelllng
Lhem Lhey wlll concelve a mlracle chlld who wlll evenLually glve blrLh Lo Lhe Son of Cod. When
llLLle MoLher Mary ls Lhree, her parenLs Lake her Lo a Lemple, where she performs whaL we are
supposed Lo conslder a mlracle, even Lhough crawllng up some sLeps doesn'L seem so hoL
compared Lo heallng Lhe slck and ralslng Lhe dead:
And Lhere were abouL Lhe Lemple, accordlng Lo Lhe flfLeen Þsalms of degrees, flfLeen sLalrs
Lo ascend. lor Lhe Lemple belng bullL ln a mounLaln, Lhe alLar of burnL offerlng, whlch was
wlLhouL, could noL be come near buL by sLalrs, 1he parenLs of Lhe blessed vlrgln and lnfanL
Mary puL her upon one of Lhese sLalrs, 8uL whlle Lhey were puLLlng off Lhelr cloLhes, ln
whlch Lhey had Lravelled, and accordlng Lo cusLom puLLlng on some LhaL were more neaL and
clean, ln Lhe mean Llme Lhe vlrgln of Lhe LC8u ln such a manner wenL up all Lhe sLalrs one
afLer anoLher, wlLhouL Lhe help of any Lo lead or llfL her, LhaL any one would have [udged
from hence LhaL she was of perfecL age. 1hus Lhe LC8u dld, ln Lhe lnfancy of hls vlrgln, work
Lhls exLraordlnary work, and evldence by Lhls mlracle how greaL she was llke Lo be
ln chapLer 7, Mary asks Lhe angel Cabrlel how Lhe hell she's golng Lo concelve whlle remalnlng a
vlrgln. Pe replles: ºlor Lhe Poly ChosL shall come upon you, and Lhe power of Lhe MosL Plgh
shall overshadow you, wlLhouL any of Lhe heaLs of lusL." [7:19]
Cospel of 1homas
ln Lhls book, 1homas Lhe lsraellLe wrlLes abouL Lhe early llfe of !esus.
And afLer cerLaln days, as !esus passed Lhrough Lhe mldsL of Lhe clLy, a cerLaln chlld casL a
sLone aL hlm and smoLe hls shoulder. And !esus sald unLo hlm: 1hou shalL noL flnlsh Lhy
course. And sLralghLway he also fell down and dled. And Lhey LhaL were Lhere were amazed,
saylng: lrom whence ls Lhls chlld, LhaL every word whlch he speakeLh becomeLh a perfecL
work? 8uL Lhey also deparLed and accused !oseph, saylng: 1hou wllL noL be able Lo dwell
wlLh us ln Lhls clLy: buL lf Lhou wllL, Leach Lhy chlld Lo bless and noL Lo curse: for verlly he
slayeLh our chlldren: and every Lhlng LhaL he salLh becomeLh a perfecL work. [4:1-2, Creek
1he Cospel of Mary
Supposedly wrlLLen by Mary Magdalene, Lhls book exlsLs only ln fragmenLs.
ÞeLer sald Lo hlm, ºSlnce you have now explalned all Lhlngs Lo us, Lell us Lhls: whaL ls Lhe sln
of Lhe world?" 1he Savlor sald, ºSln as such does noL exlsL, buL you make sln when you do
whaL ls of Lhe naLure of fornlcaLlon, whlch ls called 'sln.' lor Lhls reason Lhe Cood came lnLo
your mldsL, Lo Lhe essence of each naLure, Lo resLore lL Lo lLs rooL."
1he llrsL Cospel of Lhe lnfancy of !esus ChrlsL
Larly verses from Lhls CnosLlc Cospel remlnd me of Look Who's 1alklng or Lhe many
commerclals feaLurlng Lalklng bables:
Pe relaLes, LhaL !esus spake even when he was ln Lhe cradle, and sald Lo hls moLher: Mary, l
am !esus Lhe Son of Cod, LhaL word whlch Lhou dldsL brlng forLh accordlng Lo Lhe
declaraLlon of Lhe angel Cabrlel Lo Lhee, and my faLher haLh senL me for Lhe salvaLlon of Lhe
Soon we learn Lhe faLe of !esus' foreskln:
And when Lhe Llme of hls clrcumclslon was come, namely, Lhe elghLh day, on whlch Lhe law
commanded Lhe chlld Lo be clrcumclsed, Lhey clrcumclsed hlm ln Lhe cave. And Lhe old
Pebrew woman Look Lhe foreskln (oLhers say she Look Lhe navel-sLrlng), and preserved lL ln
an alabasLer-box of old oll of splkenard. And she had a son who was a drugglsL, Lo whom she
sald, 1ake heed Lhou sell noL Lhls alabasLer box of splkenard-olnLmenL, alLhough Lhou
shouldsL be, offered Lhree hundred pence for lL. now Lhls ls LhaL alabasLer box whlch Mary
Lhe slnner procured, and poured forLh Lhe olnLmenL ouL of lL upon Lhe head and Lhe feeL of
our LC8u !esus ChrlsL, and wlped lL off wlLh Lhe halrs of her head. [2:1-4]
LaLer, baby !esus ls puL on Lhe back of a man whom a wlLch had Lurned lnLo a mule, and he ls
cured, changlng back lnLo human form. 1he Llny savlor Lhen casLs SaLan ouL of a llLLle boy
named !udas lscarloL, who deflnlLely would noL reLurn Lhe favor abouL 30 years laLer. 1hls
Cospel says LhaL !oseph was a preLLy lousy carpenLer, so !esus would mlraculously ad[usL Lhe
slze and shape of ºgaLes, or mllk-palls, or sleves, or boxes" LhaL hls sLepdad made.
CuesLlons of SalnL 8arLholomew
And 8arLholomew sald: LC8u, when Lhou wenLesL Lo be hanged upon Lhe cross, l followed
Lhee afar off and saw Lhee hung upon Lhe cross, and Lhe angels comlng down from heaven
and worshlpplng Lhee. And when Lhere came darkness, l beheld, and l saw Lhee LhaL Lhou
wasL vanlshed away from Lhe cross and l heard only a volce ln Lhe parLs under Lhe earLh,
and greaL walllng and gnashlng of LeeLh on a sudden. 1ell me, LC8u, whlLher wenLesL Lhou
from Lhe cross? And !esus answered and sald: 8lessed arL Lhou, 8arLholomew, my beloved,
because Lhou sawesL Lhls mysLery, and now wlll l Lell Lhee all Lhlngs whaLsoever Lhou askesL
me. lor when l vanlshed away from Lhe cross, Lhen wenL l down lnLo Pades LhaL l mlghL
brlng up Adam and all Lhem LhaL were wlLh hlm, accordlng Lo Lhe suppllcaLlon of Mlchael Lhe
18 CelebrlLles lnvolved wlLh Lhe
Church of SclenLology
1. klrsLle Alley acLor
2. Anne Archer acLor
3. Sonny 8ono slnger, uS Congressman
4. nancy CarLwrlghL acLor (volce of 8arL Slmpson)
3. Lrlka ChrlsLensen acLor
6. Chlck Corea muslclan
7. 1om Crulse acLor
8. Þenelope Cruz acLor
9. !enna Llfman acLor
10. lsaac Payes soul muslclan
11. !ulleLLe Lewls acLor
12. !ames Þacker helr Lo Lhe vasL forLune of hls faLher, medla baron kerry Þacker, AusLralla's
13. Llsa Marle Þresley slnger
14. Þrlscllla Þresley acLor
13. Mlml 8ogers acLor
16. CreLa van SusLeren cable news personallLy
17. !ohn 1ravolLa acLor
18. Ldgar WlnLer muslclan
1he followlng celebs were apparenLly never heavlly or formally lnvolved wlLh SclenLology buL
Look a course or Lwo before movlng on.
Wllllam 8urroughs wrlLer
nlcole kldman acLor
ueml Moore acLor
8rad ÞlLL acLor
!.u. Sallnger wrlLer
!erry Selnfeld acLor
Cllver SLone dlrecLor
Sharon SLone acLor
6 CelebrlLles lnvolved wlLh Lhe
Church of SaLan
1. kenneLh Anger dlrecLor
2. Sammy uavls, !r. slnger, acLor
3. klng ulamond muslclan
4. !ayne Mansfleld acLor
3. Marllyn Manson muslclan
6. keenan Wynn acLor
LlS1 64 87+ Þeople Mormons Pave
8apLlzed by Þroxy
Þerhaps Lhe mosL conLroverslal pracLlce of Mormonlsm ls bapLlsm by proxy, ln whlch dead souls
are bapLlzed. Llve Mormons sLand ln for Lhe dead durlng Lhe dunklng ceremony. ln Lhls way, a
person who dldn'L accepL Lhe Church of !esus ChrlsL of LaLLer-uay SalnLs whlle he or she was
allve has a chance Lo do lL ln Lhe hereafLer. Accordlng Lo Lhe uesereL news-a dally newspaper
owned by Lhe Mormon Church-llLerally ºmllllons" of dead people have been bapLlzed by
AL Lhe end of 2002, Lhe Mormon Church promlsed Lo sLop bapLlzlng dead !ews. 1hey had
promlsed Lhe same Lhlng several years earller, buL Lhe pracLlce was found Lo be conLlnulng, so
Lhey promlsed agaln.
1. Ablgall Adams
2. Menachem 8egln
3. uavld 8en-Curlon
4. napoleon 8onaparLe
3. Lva 8raun
6. !ames 8uchanan
8. ChrlsLopher Columbus
9. AlberL LlnsLeln
10. uwlghL Llsenhower
11. SL. lrancls of Asslsl
12. Anne lrank
13. lrederlck Lhe CreaL
14. Slgmund lreud
13. Ceorge Cordon, Lord 8yron
16. ÞaLrlck Penry
17. Adolph PlLler
18. 1homas ºSLonewall" !ackson
19. !oan of Arc
20. Chengls khan
21. Abraham Llncoln
22. Colda Melr
23. Þaul 8evere
24. Wllllam Shakespeare
23. !osef SLalln
26. Leo 1olsLoy
27. MarLln van 8uren
28. uanlel WebsLer
29. Wllllam WordsworLh
30-86. all slgners of Lhe ueclaraLlon of lndependence 87+. numerous !ews who
dled ln Lhe PolocausL (flgures clLed range from 20,000 Lo 380,000)
813 Þeople kllled by 8ellglous
8lLuals and Cb[ecLs
AugusL 13, 1984: 38-year-old !ohn 8lue was belng bapLlzed ln a rlver, when he and Lhe preacher
fell lnLo deeper waLer. 1hough Lhe man of Lhe cloLh survlved, Cod saw flL Lo smlLe 8lue, who
november 2001: ln 8ordeaux, lrance, a young couple was laylng flowers on Lhe grave of Lhelr
baby. WlLh Lhem were Lhelr Lwo chlldren, a seven-year-old glrl and an eleven-year-old boy. A
heavy sLone cross fell from a Lomb, landlng on Lhe llLLle glrl, who soon dled of her ln[urles.
uecember 20, 2001: A 71-year-old prlesL was Lrylng Lo close an lron gaLe, welghlng several
hundred pounds, ln fronL of SL. Agnes Church ln San lranclsco, when lL sllpped off lLs Lracks and
crushed hlm Lo deaLh.
lebruary 10, 2002: Whlle offlclaLlng Mass aL SL. Agnes Church ln MldLown, new ?ork (ls Agnes
cursed?), a prlesL had a masslve coronary, fell backwards, and meL hls Maker. A fellow prlesL
was quoLed: ºPe was glvlng Lhe homlly aL Mass and keeled over lmmedlaLely."
Many people, especlally chlldren, have dled durlng exorclsms. ln !anuary 2004, ALlanLa pollce
found Lhe body of an elghL-year-old glrl who had been sLrangled, sLabbed, and had her back
broken ln whaL pollce belleve was a rlLual Lo drlve ouL demons. 1hey arresLed ChrlsLopher and
valerle Carey, charglng Lhem wlLh Lhe murder. 1he prevlous AugusL ln Mllwaukee, an elghL
year-old auLlsLlc boy was smoLhered Lo deaLh allegedly by a sLorefronL preacher as he kneeled
on Lhe chlld's chesL and Lrled Lo chase ouL demons for Lwo hours. MlnlsLer 8ay Pemphlll has
1997-2004: uurlng Lhe annual pllgrlmage Lo Mecca known as Lhe ha[[, Musllms have been
Lrampled Lo deaLh ln recenL years. 1hls happens durlng a rlLual laLe ln Lhe proceedlngs, ln whlch
pllgrlms Lhrow pebbles aL plllars, symbollcally sLonlng Lo deaLh varlous devlls. 1he crowd goes
wlld, a sLampede ensues, and anywhere from a dozen Lo hundreds of people are sLomped lnLo
pulp. ueaLh Lolls from recenL years lnclude 180 ln 1998, 33 ln 2001, and fourLeen ln 2003.
1he body counL skyrockeLed ln 2004-around 244 people dled, wlLh hundreds more ln[ured.
Pa[[ MlnlsLer lyad Madanl sald: ºAll precauLlons were Laken Lo prevenL such an lncldenL, buL
Lhls ls Cod's wlll."
1he worsL ha[[ dlsasLer of recenL Llmes occurred ln 1997, when a LenL clLy wenL up ln flames,
premaLurely sendlng 340 worshlppers Lo Allah.
SepLember 23, 2001. AfLer aLLendlng Mass, AusLrallan CaLhollc schoolglrls ln Merryland, new
SouLh Wales, were walLlng for a bus Lo Lake Lhem back Lo school. A sLorm suddenly hlL, and
before Lhey could scramble Lo shelLer, llghLnlng sLruck Lhe ground nearby, knocklng down slx of
Lhem. Cne of Lhe Leens was ln crlLlcal condlLlon wlLh flash burns, anoLher was ln serlous
condlLlon wlLh unspeclfled ln[urles, and Lhe oLher four were belng held for observaLlon. 1he
Sydney Mornlng Perald reporLed: ºAmbulance offlcers sald Lhe glrls were lucky lL was noL a
dlrecL sLrlke, whlch probably would have kllled Lhem."
lebruary 23, 2004: uurlng Lhe gory cruclflxlon scene ln Mel Clbson's 1he Þasslon of Lhe ChrlsL,
36-year-old Þeggy ScoLL suffered a hearL aLLack and lmmedlaLely dled ln a WlchlLa, kansas
LheaLer. And leL's noL forgeL LhaL llghLnlng sLruck Lwlce durlng Lhe fllmlng of 1he Þasslon. An
asslsLanL dlrecLor was hlL boLh Llmes, and durlng Lhe second sLrlke, Lhe maln bolL nalled !lm
Cavlezel, Lhe acLor playlng !esus. Smoke reporLedly came ouL of one of hls ears. lf LhaL's noL a
slgn, l don'L know whaL ls.
LlS1 66 12 Codly Þeople
!ennlfer 8. Clsowskl kllled her elghL-monLh-old son by repeaLedly Lhrowlng hlm Lo Lhe
ground and Lhen down a sLalrcase. A newspaper reporLs:
Clsowskl Lold pollce LhaL kllllng her son, Cldeon lusscas, was a LesL of falLh because she
expecLed Cod Lo resurrecL hlm, a prosecuLor sald 1uesday evenlng.. ºApparenLly Lhe moLher
of Lhe chlld was Lelllng her slsLer, 1ablLha, LhaL Lhls was a LesL of her falLh and LhaL
ChrlsLopher, Lhe faLher, was possessed by some sorL of demon and she needed Lo pray over
hlm and drlve some klnd of demon from hlm," [chlef prosecuLor 8oberL L.] 8elanger
sald.. º[1ablLha] came ln and she saw Lhe baby laylng dead ln Lhe house, and her slsLer
sald.LhaL Cod was LesLlng her falLh by havlng her do harm Lo her chlld and she was
convlnced her chlld would be broughL back from Lhe dead llke Lazarus," 8elanger sald .
!ohn uavls , on Lrlal for LorLurlng hls Lwo sons-who were found scarred, malnourlshed, and
underdeveloped-Lold Lhe courL: ºÞroverbs Lells you Lo dlsclpllne your chlldren, or else Lhey wlll
grow up and klll Lhelr parenLs. All l dld was dlsclpllne Lhem."
Clynn Pardlng ls a serlal mall-bomber who wounded a llLLle glrl and dlsflgured a woman. A
reporL ln Lhe London ually 1elegraph sLaLes: º1he courL heard how Lhe bomber aLLrlbuLed Lhe
sLarL of hls campalgn Lo Lhe sLlllblrLh of hls baby ln March 2000 and lLs burlal lnslde a [am [ar. ln
Lhe weeks LhaL followed, sald Mr 8ould, he heard 'Lhe volce of !esus' lnsLrucLlng hlm Lo send
100 bombs 'Lo ensure LhaL Lhe baby was allowed Lo go from Pell Lo Peaven'."
uan LafferLy , who ls servlng Lwo consecuLlve llfe Lerms for vlclously kllllng a young woman
and her flfLeen-monLh-old daughLer, sald: ºl had a calm peacefulness when l dld lL. l was belng
led by Lhe SplrlL."
Pe also explalned: ºl'm noL golng Lo offend Cod by saylng someLhlng lnapproprlaLe llke, 'l wlsh
l'd never done lL.' l'll never say LhaL. lf you're a chlld of Cod, lL'll make sense Lo you someday. l'll
never say l'm sorry l dld lL."
1he SalL Lake 1rlbune reporLed: ºWhen one angry sherlff's depuLy confronLed Lhe convlcLed
murderer abouL hls lack of remorse, LafferLy calmly replled, 'WlLh all due respecL, lf Cod asked
me Lo, l'd klll you rlghL now.'"
Creg MarLln , an Amerlcan llvlng ln lreland, was senLenced Lo Lhree monLhs ln [all for kllllng
and buLcherlng hls horse wlLh an ax ln an acL LhaL Lhe [udge called ºabsoluLe, wanLon cruelLy."
MarLln was upseL because Lhe mare had been eaLlng a nelghbor's grass. Pls defense: º1he 8lble
says man has domlnlon over anlmals."
As reporLed by Lhe 88C: º1he pollce ln 8angladesh say Lhey have arresLed a young Musllm clerlc
for allegedly kllllng hls own son ln a rlLual sacrlflce durlng Lld ul-Adha, Lhe blggesL Musllm
fesLlval. 1hey say Lhe clerlc, Colam MusLafa , admlLLed Lo havlng kllled Lhe seven-monLh-old
boy, Sulayman, afLer recelvlng whaL he called a revelaLlon."
Lucllle Þoulln , a 78-year-old former nun and Lhe splrlLual leader of a commune on Þrlnce
Ldward lsland, Canada, was senLenced Lo elghL years ln [all for frequenLly beaLlng flve chlldren,
ages seven Lo Lwelve, who were ln her care. 1he 1oronLo SLar reporLed:
Larller ln Lhe day, a deflanL Þoulln Lold [!udge] !enklns Lhe blood of Lhe chlldren she
assaulLed ls noL on her hands. 1he self-descrlbed propheL of Lhe commune near Summerslde
asked for Lhe courL's mercy buL never sald she was sorry for Lhe paln and sufferlng she
lnfllcLed on Lhe flve youngsLers. Þoulln sald Cod Lold her lL was all rlghL Lo punlsh chlldren
physlcally Lo drlve ouL Lhe devll .
1wo 8asLafarlans aLLacked worshlppers ln a CaLhollc Church ln Lhe Carlbbean lsland SL. Lucla.
Cne doused Lhem wlLh gas, whlle anoLher seL Lhem aflame wlLh a blowLorch. 1hey also burned
Lhe prlesL, aLLacked people wlLh macheLes, and kllled a nun. Accordlng Lo Lhe AssoclaLed Þress,
Lhe Lwo men responslble ºLold pollce Lhey were senL by Cod Lo combaL corrupLlon ln Lhe
8oman CaLhollc Church. '1he way Lhey're Lalklng ls LhaL Lhe world ls golng Lo end and LhaL Lhe
Llme had come for whaL Lhey had Lo do,' pollce lnspecLor Cregory MonLouLe, who lnLerrogaLed
Lhe men, sald Monday."
Angel MaLurlno 8esendlz , Lhe Mexlcan drlfLer who kllled nlne people ln Lhe uS before
Lurnlng hlmself ln Lo auLhorlLles ln !uly 1999, sald: ºl had Lo klll Lhem. l could say l'm sorry, buL l
wouldn'L mean lL. 1hey were promoLlng someLhlng LhaL lL clearly sLaLes ln Lhe 8lble ls wrong."
(Accordlng Lo Lhe 8rlLlsh newswlre Ananova, º8esendlz clalmed he was on a mlsslon from Cod
Lo klll people who he sald were 'evll' by sLopplng Lhe spread of slns such as aborLlon,
homosexuallLy and wlLchcrafL.")
Andrea ?aLes , who famously drowned all flve of her chlldren ln 1exas, Lold a courL-appolnLed
shrlnk: ºlL was Lhe sevenLh deadly sln. My chlldren weren'L rlghLeous. 1hey sLumbled because l
was evll. 1he way l was ralslng Lhem Lhey could never be saved.. 8eLLer for someone else Lo Lle
a mlllsLone around Lhelr neck and casL Lhem ln a rlver Lhan sLumble. 1hey were golng Lo
And Lhen Lhere's Lhls AÞ8news.com reporL from llorlda: ºCuLraged LhaL her 7-year-old son
refused Lo go Lo Sunday school, a slngle moLher allegedly Lrled Lo burn Lhe boy Lo deaLh ln a
bedroom, pollce sald." A llLLle laLer LhaL day, she aLLempLed Lo choke hlm wlLh a belL.
LlS1 67 9 8ellglous CuoLes
º8eware of Lhe man whose god ls ln Lhe skles."
-Ceorge 8ernard Shaw
ºln every counLry and ln every age, Lhe prlesL has been hosLlle Lo llberLy. Pe ls always ln alllance
wlLh Lhe despoL, abeLLlng hls abuses ln reLurn for proLecLlon Lo hls own."
ºA people who desplse sex musL also desplse Lhelr god."
º8ellef ls messy, a vlolence LhaL pushes llfe around lnLo caLegorles, chooslng from lnflnlLe
reallLles Lhls LruLh or LhaL."
ºl belleve LhaL rellglon, generally speaklng, has been a curse Lo manklnd-LhaL lLs modesL and
greaLly overesLlmaLed servlces on Lhe eLhlcal slde have been more Lhan overcome by Lhe
damage lL has done Lo clear and honesL Lhlnklng."
ºA few years ago we flnally persuaded psychlaLrlsLs Lo remove homosexuallLy from Lhe llsL of
recognlzed menLal dlsorders. Maybe lL's Llme we sLarLed lobbylng Lhem Lo add bellef ln Cod Lo
Lhe llsL. 8ellef ln an angry, lnLoleranL one, anyway..ºl demand assurances LhaL a glven rellglon
wlll noL cause or poLenLlaLe mass homlcldal psychosls or prlesLly pedophllla, before we leL lL
lndocLrlnaLe helpless chlldren and vulnerable adulLs. 8loodLhlrsLy, auLhorlLarlan Lheology
LhreaLens Canada as much as Lobacco, obeslLy and booze puL LogeLher. lL endangers our planeL
more Lhan global warmlng, nuclear wlnLer or rogue asLerolds."
-Splder 8oblnson (Pugo- and nebula-wlnnlng sclence flcLlon auLhor)
ºWe musL respecL Lhe oLher fellow's rellglon, buL only ln Lhe sense and Lo Lhe exLenL LhaL we
respecL hls Lheory LhaL hls wlfe ls beauLlful and hls chlldren smarL."
ºl noL only malnLaln LhaL all rellglons are verslons of Lhe same unLruLh, buL l hold LhaL Lhe
lnfluence of churches, and Lhe effecL of rellglous bellef, ls poslLlvely harmful."
ºPell ls paved wlLh prlesLs' skulls."
-SalnL !ohn ChrysosLom (347-407)
+ Movles, Muslc, and Þulp
LlS1 68 16 Movles 8anned ln Lhe u.S.
uolorlLa ln Lhe Þasslon uance (1894)
Showlng LhaL fllm censorshlp ls almosL as old as fllm lLself, Lhls LlLlllaLlng llLLle number was
excommunlcaLed from new !ersey afLer belng shown ln peepshows on Lhe ALlanLlc ClLy
8oardwalk. 1he Lhree-volume reference work Censorshlp says Lhe fllm ºwas probably Lhe flrsL
Lo be banned ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes."
8eenacLmenL of Lhe Massacre aL Wounded knee (1906)
Wllllam Cody, beLLer known as º8uffalo 8lll," had been reenacLlng Wlld WesL llfe-wlLh a Len-
gallon haLful of poeLlc llcense-ln hls Lravellng shows. When he declded Lo fllm a sLaglng of Lhe
1890 massacre of naLlve Amerlcans aL Wounded knee, SouLh uakoLa, he enllsLed Lhe help of
Lhe uS governmenL. Accordlng Lo Censorshlp, Lhe feds weren'L Loo happy wlLh Lhe resulL, whlch
dlsplayed some sympaLhy for Lhe slaughLered lndlans, so Lhey shelved Lhe fooLage,
1he 8lrLh of a naLlon (1913)
º1he mosL banned fllm ln Amerlcan hlsLory," accordlng Lo 1he Lncyclopedla of Censorshlp. u.W.
CrlfflLh's raclsL, pro-kkk look aL Lhe Clvll War and 8econsLrucLlon was ouLlawed ln Chlo,
Colorado, 8osLon, ÞlLLsburgh, and dozens of oLher [urlsdlcLlons.
8lrLh ConLrol (1917)
1hls llghLly flcLlonallzed fllm abouL eugenlclsL MargareL Sanger's quesL Lo Lell poor women
abouL conLracepLlon ln Lhe face of suppresslon was banned by new ?ork's fllm censor. lL was
wrlLLen by and sLarred Sanger, who laLer founded Lhe organlzaLlons LhaL would become
1he orlglnal, non-Þaclno verslon of Al Capone's llfe-dlrecLed by Poward Pawks and produced
by Poward Pughes-was banned ln flve sLaLes, lncludlng new ?ork, and flve clLles, lncludlng
SeaLLle and Chlcago, owlng Lo lLs vlolence and/or supposed glorlflcaLlon of crlme.
1wo-faced Woman (1941)
CreLa Carbo's swan song was banned ln new ?ork ClLy and elsewhere because of lLs Lheme of
LeL 1here 8e LlghL (1946)
Legendary dlrecLor !ohn PusLon (1he Afrlcan Cueen, 1he MalLese lalcon, eLc.) made
documenLarles for Lhe Army durlng Lhe WWll era. 1he flnal one, LeL 1here 8e LlghL, focused on
shell-shocked soldlers belng LreaLed aL a Long lsland PosplLal. 1he Army conflscaLed Lhe fllm
and refused Lo release lL, clLlng vlolaLlon of Lhe doughboys' prlvacy, alLhough PusLon was
convlnced lL was pulled for Þ8 reasons. lL was flnally screened ln 1981.
1he vanlshlng Þralrle (1936)
Censorshlp descrlbes Lhls ldloLlc lncldenL succlncLly: ºWalL ulsney's 1he vanlshlng Þralrle, an
Academy Award-wlnnlng documenLary, was banned ln new ?ork because lL showed a buffalo
glvlng blrLh, an Amerlcan Clvll LlberLles unlon complalnL led Lo a reversal of Lhe ban."
1lLlcuL lollles (1967)
ulrecLor lrederlck Wlseman was granLed legal access Lo Lhe SLaLe Þrlson for Lhe Crlmlnally
lnsane ln 8rldgewaLer, MassachuseLLs, for a monLh ln 1966. Pe and hls crew fllmed scenes of
mlnd-brulslng degradaLlon and sadness. AlmosL predlcLably, sLaLe offlclals wenL apeshlL when
Lhey saw Lhe flnal cuL of 1lLlcuL lollles, and a Superlor CourL [udge blocked Lhe fllm's release.
1he auLhorlLles charged LhaL Lhe documenLary vlolaLed Lhe lnmaLes' prlvacy. Þerhaps lL dld, buL
lL's Lelllng LhaL Lhey were suddenly so concerned abouL Lhe prlvacy rlghLs of Lhe prlsoners, whlle
sLlll unlnLeresLed ln Lhelr human rlghLs, whlch were obvlously ln a sLaLe of consLanL vlolaLlon, as
capLured on fllm. 1he MassachuseLLs Supreme CourL parLlally overLurned Lhe rullng, allowlng
Lhe fllm Lo be screened only for docLors, soclologlsLs, [udges, and oLhers who would have a
professlonal lnLeresL ln Lhe sub[ecL. 1he Supreme CourL refused Lo hear Wlseman's appeal of
Lhls unprecedenLed resLrlcLlon, and Lhere Lhe maLLer sLood unLll 1991, when a MassachuseLLs
Superlor CourL [udge dropped all resLralnLs. 1wo years laLer, Lhe documenLary was alred a
slngle Llme on publlc Lelevlslon. lL has never been broadcasL agaln, nor has lL been released on
l Am Curlous-?ellow (1967)
1hls Swedlsh hlpple/arL movle wlLh expllclL sex scenes was refused enLry lnLo Lhe uS by
CusLoms. An appeals courL slapped down Lhe lmporL ban, buL Lhen flfLeen sLaLes barred lL from
8lue Movle (1969)
Also called luck, Andy Warhol's movle was banned as obscene by a new ?ork crlmlnal courL, a
rullng LhaL was upheld on appeal.
ueep 1hroaL (1972)
Cne of Lhe flrsL hardcore porno feaLures, and sLlll Lhe mosL famous, ueep 1hroaL was ouLlawed
ln 23 sLaLes, and Lhe feds convlcLed a bunch of people, lncludlng sLarrlng penls Parry 8eems,
lnvolved wlLh lLs dlsLrlbuLlon. All convlcLlons were laLer overLurned.
SupersLar: 1he karen CarpenLer SLory (1987)
1hls unauLhorlzed bloplc ls a double whammy. 1odd Paynes used 8arble dolls as Lhe ºacLors"
wlLh Lhe CarpenLers' recordlngs as Lhe soundLrack. 1he only quesLlon was wheLher 8lchard
CarpenLer or MaLLel would be Lhe one Lo permanenLly block Lhls fllm's release. lL was
1he Maklng of ºMonsLers" (1990)
!ohn Creyson's shorL feaLure abouL gay-bashlng lncludes an unauLhorlzed, reworked verslon of
ºMack Lhe knlfe," a glganLlc hlL for 8obby uarln and Louls ArmsLrong. 1he esLaLe of Lhe song's
wrlLer, kurL Welll, had Lhe movle pulled from clrculaLlon.
1he ÞroflL (2001)
ÞeLer n. Alexander's movle follows Lhe rlse of a paranold culL leader and hls organlzaLlon,
obvlously based on L. 8on Pubbard and Lhe Church of SclenLology. Accordlng Lo Alexander,
SclenLologlsLs lnLerfered wlLh Lhls movle aL every sLep of Lhe way. Lawyers and spokespeople
for Lhe Church professed LhaL Lhe movle bore absoluLely no resemblance Lo SclenLology, Lhen
Lurned around and sued Lhe fllmmakers afLer lL had been showlng for a few weeks. 1he Church
clalms LhaL Lhe only reason Lhe movle was made was Lo LalnL Lhe [ury pool ln a Lrlal over Lhe
shadowy deaLh of Llsa McÞherson, a member of Lhe Church. A Þlnellas CounLy llorlda !udge
apparenLly agreed and blocked Lhe fllm from furLher release. 1he llLlgaLlon conLlnues...
LrnesL and 8erLram (2002)
uescrlbed by 1he AdvocaLe as ºa reLelllng, ln elghL mlnuLes, of Lllllan Pellman's classlc play of
unrequlLed gay love, 1he Chlldren's Pour, uslng Lhe Sesame SLreeL characLers 8erL and Lrnle,"
ÞeLer Spears' shorL fllm showed aL several fllm fesLlvals (lncludlng Sundance), buL soon Lhe
Sesame Workshop made sure lL would never fllcker on a screen agaln. AnoLher fllm by Spears,
Lhe 37-mlnuLe Scream, 1een, Scream, also meL deaLh by lnLellecLual properLy law, Lhls Llme
over Lhe song ºLove 8ollercoasLer."
LlS1 69 10 unusual lorms and Cenres
1he ldea here ls Lo Lake a sequence of unA-wheLher a fragmenL, a gene, an amlno acld, a
proLeln-asslgn a muslcal characLerlsLlc (such as plLch, chord Lype, volce, or even a noLe) Lo
varlous aspecLs of a mapped sLrand (bases, amlno aclds, molecular welghL, llghL absorpLlon
frequencles, eLc.), and Lhen play Lhe resulLlng composlLlon.
uavld W. ueamer ls a ploneer ln Lhe fleld, havlng creaLed unA muslc slnce Lhe early 1980s.
uslng some slmple rules, he sLarLed playlng gene sequences on hls plano. 1he flrsL porLlon of
human unA he Lrled resembled a walLz, Lhe lnsulln proLeln sounds llke an lrlsh [lg. ueamer
currenLly has Lwo albums avallable, wlLh composer 8lley McLaughlln.
More recenLly, Alexandra Þa[ak, a blology and muslc ma[or aL Agnes ScoLL College (uecaLur,
Ceorgla), creaLed Lwo works-a symphony based on Lhe unA of Lhe school's founder and a Cu
of elghL synLheslzed composlLlons, each one derlved from a gene, lncludlng LhaL of Lhe Perpes 8
CLher geneLlc muslclans lnclude Penry Alan Pargrove (A Splash of Llfe), MunakaLa nobuo
(ºuueL of AluS"), Susan Alex[ander (Sequencla), !ohn uunn and k.W. 8rldges (ºSquld Lye Lens,"
ºScorplon SLlnger," and ºSllme Mold"), M.A. Clark and !ohn uunn (Llfe Muslc), ÞeLer Cena and
Charles SLrom (ºCollagen and 8ass ClarlneL"), Llnda Long (ºCalclum Chlmes"), Aurora Sánchez
Sousa (Cenoma Muslc), and Larry Lang (ºCxy lugue 9").
CLher body muslc
unA ls Lhe mosL popular basls for bodlly muslc, buL many oLhers exlsL. ln 2003, aL a llve evenL
called ºuLCCncerL: Muslc ln Lhe key of LLC," 30 people were slmulLaneously hooked up Lo
machlnes LhaL made muslc ouL of Lhelr braln acLlvlLy. Also, geneLlc muslclan !ohn uunn has
creaLed Lhe flfLeen-mlnuLe composlLlon º1heLa Muslc" from bralnwaves (lL's avallable on hls
self-publlshed album AlgorlLhmlc Muslc). As you mlghL lmaglne, full albums of gray maLLer
muslc are few and far beLween, a couple lnclude Cerebral ulsLurbance by Aube and Lhe 1976
compllaLlon 8ralnwave Muslc.
ln a small sLudy aL Lhe unlverslLy of 1oronLo, sclenLlsLs measured Lhe bralnwaves of lnsomnlacs,
Lhen had a compuLer LranslaLe Lhe measuremenLs lnLo sound LhaL was someLlmes melodlous,
someLlmes cacophonlc. LlsLenlng Lo Lhese Cus, Lhe sub[ecLs fell asleep slgnlflcanLly fasLer and
sLayed asleep slgnlflcanLly longer Lhan sub[ecLs who llsLened Lo oLher people's bralnwaves.
A number of albums deslgned Lo puL bables Lo sleep (Lhey're sald Lo work on adulLs, Loo)
lncorporaLe sounds based on hearLbeaLs. AL leasL one serles-PearLbeaL Muslc 1herapy by
1erry Woodford-uses an acLual human hearLbeaL as genLle percusslon for Lhe lullables.
Calvonlc skln response (CS8) measures elecLrlcal acLlvlLy of Lhe skln, and ls belleved Lo reflecL a
person's lnLernal sLaLe, parLlcularly Lhe acLlons of Lhe parasympaLheLlc nervous sysLem. Several
hardware-sofLware devlces, lncludlng MenLal Cames by Mlnd ModulaLlons, wlll LranslaLe your
CS8 readlngs lnLo muslc.
8eyond Lhese forms, Lhe Lrall goes preLLy cold, wlLh [usL fleeLlng references Lo muslc based on
pulse, resplraLlon, and oLher bodlly acLlvlLles or measuremenLs of Lhose acLlvlLles. 1hls ls
deflnlLely a rlpe area-pracLlcally Lerra lncognlLa-for muslclans Lo explore.
ºSound ecologlsL" Mlchael Þrlme creaLed Lhe album L-flelds by readlng Lhe bloelecLrlc slgnals
from planLs, Lhen feedlng Lhem lnLo an osclllaLor. 1he All Muslc Culde says: ºÞrlme laLer
compresses, overlays, and lnLegraLes sounds from Lhe surroundlng envlronmenL Lo Lhe slgnal
and volla: Lhrough a work aesLheLlcally close Lo elecLroacousLlcs, Lhe llsLener ls lnvlLed Lo hear a
planL llve lLs llfe!" 1he Lhree performers he chose are very Lelllng: marl[uana, peyoLe, and fly
agarlc mushrooms. Þrlme dld slmllar Lhlngs wlLh frulL on uavld 1oop's album Museum of lrulL.
Llkewlse, afLer measurlng Lhe elecLrlcal vlbes glven off by planLs, Mlchael 1heroux arranged Lhe
resulLlng sounds lnLo muslcal composlLlons on Lhe album ÞlanL 1ones.
8lochemlsL Llnda Long creaLes composlLlons by Lranscrlblng 3-u models of proLelns ln parsley
and oLher planLs lnLo muslc, maklng her work essenLlally a subgenre of geneLlc muslc (lLem #2,
SLreLchlng Lhe genre of planL muslc Lo lLs llmlL ls Lhe llrsL vlenna vegeLable CrchesLra, whlch
[ams on noLhlng buL muslcal lnsLrumenLs made ouL of vegeLables (wlLh a few klLchen
lmplemenLs, such as a blender, Lhrown lnLo Lhe mlx). Some of Lhe lnsLrumenLs are slmple, such
as a LomaLo or Lurnlp LhaL geLs Lhumped for percusslon, buL ofLen Lhey're more complex, llke
Lhe wlnd lnsLrumenLs carved ouL of carroLs, celery, and cucumbers, or Lhe marlmbas made ouL
of radlshes. 1he group's webslLe says LhaL Lhelr ºmuslcal specLrum ranges from LradlLlonal
afrlcan pleces Lo classlcal european concerL muslc Lhrough Lo experlmenLal elecLronlc muslc."
1he elghL muslclans perform one or Lwo concerLs a monLh. AfLer each performance, Lhe group's
chef chops and cooks Lhe lnsLrumenLs, whlch Lhe audlence and band members Lhen munch. lf
you can'L make lL Lo Lurope, you can always buy Lhelr Lwo Cus (meal noL lncluded).
MaLh was never my sLrong sulL, so Lhe ways LhaL varlous numbers, consLanLs, formulae, eLc. are
LranslaLed lnLo muslc flles several Lhousand feeL over my head. 8uL lL sure sounds purLy. 1he
largesL subgenre ls undoubLedly fracLal muslc, Lhough uanlel Cummerow has made
composlLlons from LrlgonomeLrlc funcLlons, prlme numbers, and Lhe llbonaccl sequence,
ln Lhe Þl Þro[ecL, over Lwo-dozen muslclans creaLed composlLlons dlrecLly based on Lhe raLlo of
a clrcle's clrcumference Lo lLs dlameLer. ?ou know: n (3.141392..). 8aslcally, any aspecL of
muslc LhaL can be expressed as pl was employed-frequency, plLch, measure, eLc. CLhers chose
Lo Lake graphlc represenLaLlons of pl-elLher Lhe Creek leLLer lLself or Lhe endless sLrlng of
numbers LhaL ls pl-and converL Lhem lnLo sound Lhrough varlous means. Lach plece ls exacLly
Lhree mlnuLes and fourLeen seconds long.
Cn an even more complex level, classlcal composer lannls xenakls (1922-2001) applled calculus,
probablllLy, game Lheory, 8oolean algebra, seL Lheory, and oLher braln-crushlng forms of
maLhemaLlcs Lo hls work, whlch ls regarded as some of Lhe flnesL orchesLral muslc of Lhe
Mlchel 8edolfl ls Lhe nepLune of underwaLer muslc. Pls album Sonlc WaLers conLalns orlglnal
elecLronlc muslc recorded ln pools and Lhe Þaclflc Ccean. 1he follow-up, Sonlc WaLers #2:
underwaLer Muslc, 1983-1989, showcases soundscapes derlved from naLural nolses recorded
by submerged mlcrophones. ln hls concerLs, 8edolfl-whlle on land-plays hls muslc, whlch ls
broadcasL on nearby speakers LhaL are compleLely underwaLer. Landlubbers hear noLhlng, you
musL puL aL leasL your head lnLo Lhe drlnk ln order Lo hear Lhe songs. 8edolfl has even wrlLLen
an opera meanL Lo be sung by performers encased ln speclally-deslgned bubbles aL Lhe boLLom
of Lhe sea, and vlbraphone vlrLuoso Alex Crlllo has been known Lo Leam up wlLh hlm for llve
seLs performed underwaLer.
!lm nollman-by vlrLue of Lhe facL LhaL he plays muslc wlLh whales-ls a de facLo underwaLer
muslclan. Pls llve gulLarwork ls plped Lhrough speakers suspended under a boaL. 1hrough a
hydrophone, he hears Lhe ceLaceans answer hlm. Pe Lhen responds muslcally, and an
underwaLer, lnLerspecles [am sesslon occurs. As parL of Lhe same serles of experlmenLs,
chanLlng 1lbeLan monks and a reggae band have also had Lwo-way muslcal encounLers wlLh Lhe
ºÞallndrome" usually refers Lo a word or senLence LhaL reads Lhe same backwards as forwards:
mom, dad, ºuo geese see Cod?" 8uL anyLhlng composed of dlscreLe unlLs, such as muslc, can be
a pallndrome. Classlc composers lncludlng MozarL, 8ach, and Paydn creaLed pleces ln whlch
Llme, plLch, and/or melody was reversed aL some polnL (a Lrlck called a ºcrab canon").
Accordlng Lo Lhe Wlklpedla: º1he lcelandlc muslc-band Slgur 8ós composed a song [ºSLaralfur"]
on Lhelr album ÁgæLls 8yr[un, whlch parLly sounds Lhe same, playlng forwards or backwards.
noL only symmeLrlc from Lhe noLes, buL also symmeLrlc ln Lhe sound by mlxlng Lhe reverse
muslc over Lhe orlglnal.. 1he lnLerlude from Alban 8erg's opera, Lulu ls a pallndrome."
College radlo sLaple 1hey MlghL 8e ClanLs has a song called ºl Þallndrome l" ln whlch one verse
ls a word-by-word (buL noL leLLer-by-leLLer) pallndrome:
ºSon, l am able," she sald, ºLhough you scare me."
ºWaLch," sald l.
º8eloved," l sald, ºwaLch me scare you, Lhough."
Sald she, ºAble am l, son."
1he shLlck for Þlanosaurus, a Lrlo from new ?ork SLaLe, was LhaL Lhey played pop-rock on klddle
lnsLrumenLs boughL aL Loy sLores. 1helr only sLudlo album, Croovy nelghborhood, lncludes
covers of Chuck 8erry's ºMemphls" and !ohn Lee Pooker's ºulmples."
AlLhough Lhelr compleLe devoLlon Lo pllnky planos and Smurf drums ls unlque, oLher bands
before and afLer have occaslonally Laken Lhe same approach. lndle-rockers Self released an all-
Loy album ln 2000, Clzmodgery (wlLh an expllclL lyrlcs warnlng sLlcker) repleLe wlLh MaLLel SLar
CulLar, a See 'n Say, LlLLle 1ykes xylophone, Lalklng sLuffed anlmals, beeplng roboLs, baby
raLLles, eLc. none oLher Lhan Lhe 8olllng SLones ploneered Lhe approach, when Charlle WaLLs
played a 1930s Loy drum klL on Lhe band's rowdy ºSLreeL llghLlng Man."
CuLslde of rock and roll, avanL garde planlsL MargareL Leng 1an ls bllled by one of her record
labels as ºLhe world's only professlonal Loy planlsL." She plays Lhe full-slze verslon of Lhe
lnsLrumenL, as well Lhe sLrlng plano, buL lL's her 1997 album 1he ArL of Lhe 1oy Þlano, plus
assorLed shorLer works, LhaL earns her a spoL on Lhe llsL. 1an has played composlLlons by Þhlllp
Class, 8eeLhoven, Lennon-McCarLney, and !ohn Cage (hls 1948 ºSulLe for 1oy Þlano" ls ºLhe flrsL
'serlous' plece ever wrlLLen for" Lhe lnsLrumenL, accordlng Lo 1an).
Companles have always soughL Lo moLlvaLe employees, and some of Lhem go Lo lengLhs far
beyond Laplng up slgns LhaL say, º1LAM = 1ogeLher Lveryone Achleves More." Cne such
meLhod ls Lo lnfecL workers' mlnds wlLh a song LhaL pracLlcally delfles Lhe corporaLlon. l8M was
an early-lf noL Lhe earllesL-ploneer of Lhese efforLs. 1he 1931 edlLlon of ºSongs of Lhe l.8.M."
has been reproduced onllne, and lL conLalns such mlnd-numblng propaganda as ºLver Cnward":
Lver onward! Lver onward!
1haL's Lhe splrlL LhaL has broughL us fame.
We're blg buL blgger we wlll be,
We can'L fall for all can see,
1haL Lo serve humanlLy
Pas been our alm.
Cur producLs now are known
ln every zone.
Cur repuLaLlon sparkles
Llke a gem.
uesplLe such a long Lrack record, Lhe exlsLence of corporaLe anLhems only hlL Lhe mass mlnd ln
sprlng 2001, when Chrls 8aeLLlg sLarLed a llLLle webslLe Lo collecL Lhese caplLallsL dlLLles. Soon
Lhe slLe was swamped wlLh vlslLors, who were downloadlng Lhe songs by Lhe Lhousand, over a
glgabyLe of maLerlal every hour. 1he [lngle LhaL flrsL caughL 8aeLLlg's aLLenLlon was wrlLLen for a
Luropean conference of lnLernaLlonal accounLlng flrm kÞMC's consulLanLs. lor slmplemlnded
cheeslness, mosL of Lhe lyrlcs would embarrass 8arney Lhe ulnosaur. 1he chorus goes:
ºkÞMC-a Leam of power and energy. We go for Lhe gold. 1ogeLher we hold Lo a vlslon of
global sLraLegy." AnoLher llne acLually declared: ºWe'll be number one, wlLh efforL and fun."
1he song was remlxed by amused neLlzens lnLo [ungle, hard rock, lndusLrlal, and nokla rlngLone
noL Lo be ouLdone, accounLlng flrm ÞrlcewaLerhouseCoopers commlssloned a Lune wlLh Lhe
lyrlcs: ºWe don'L sell no dogma. All we've goL ls sklll. uolng each and every cllenL's wlll." ºClobal
1echnology" by ueuLsche 8ank conLalns Lhls blL of doggerel: ºClobal Lechnology ls no easy
game Lo play. A new challenge for all of us, every day."
ln perhaps Lhe mosL lll-advlsed move ln corporaLe muslc hlsLory, ºlnLerneL soluLlons provlder"
Asera wanLed Lo klck lL old-school sLyle, so Lhey chose Lo make ºAsera Lverywhere" lnLo a rap
?o! Pomeboys, homeglrls, gaLher 'round.
We're poppln' lL, klckln' lL, geLLln' down.
We're hoL, we're bad, we're lean and mean.
We're Lakln' conLrol of Lhe e-blz scene.
CLher corporaLlons who Look Lhe dlve lnLo sonlc drlvel lnclude Lrlcsson, novell, CL, Poneywell,
and LrnsL & ?oung. 1he fad of collecLlng and llsLenlng Lo corporaLe songs dled rapldly, buL
companles are surely sLlll maklng such numbers under Lhe radar.
8elng able Lo play Lwo or more lnsLrumenLs aL once ls a muslcal LradlLlon LhaL has been much
overlooked. Sure, guys llke Þrlnce, Þaul McCarLney, 1renL 8eznor, and uave Crohl have played
all Lhe lnsLrumenLs on some of Lhelr albums, buL dld Lhey play Lhem all aL Lhe same Llme? l Lhlnk
1he earllesL known references Lo slmulLaneously playlng Lwo lnsLrumenLs come from lceland ln
Lhe elevenLh cenLury. ln Lhe [ournal Muslcal 1radlLlons, Pal 8ammel wrlLes:
[l]L was ln vaudevllle and Lhe muslc hall, a seLLlng LhaL encouraged Lhe unlque and
unforgeLLable performer, LhaL Lhe one-man band flowered ln lLs wlldesL varleLles. 8agLlme
composer Wllbur SweaLman ln Lhe early 1900s dld a vaudevllle acL playlng Lhree clarlneLs aL
once and vlck Pyde, a vaudevllllan of Lhe 1940s dld hls flnale playlng Lhree LrumpeLs aL Lhe
same Llme and Lwlrllng a baLon as he exlLed Lhe sLage. vlrLuoso vlollnsky concluded hls acL
wlLh a plano-cello dueL by fasLenlng a bow Lo hls rlghL knee whlle hls rlghL hand flngered
Lhe sLrlngs, leavlng hls lefL hand Lo accompany hlmself on Lhe plano. 1he plano, generally
LhoughL Lo be a Lwo-handed lnsLrumenL was played wlLh only Lhe rlghL hand by Þaul
Semlnole ln Lhe 1920s whlle he played gulLar wlLh hls lefL, and for [azz muslclan and
comedlan Sllm Calllard playlng Lhe plano and gulLar aL Lhe same Llme was posslble by
Lurnlng up Lhe volume on hls elecLrlc gulLar º.lL'll play lLself-you [usL make Lhe chords and
hlL Lhe sLrlngs, feedback!"
1hls almosL unrecognlzed muslcal genre ls allve and well. ln 8osLon, Lrlc 8oyer comprlses Lhe
LoLallLy of 8oyer's Cne Man 8and. Pe plays LradlLlonal bluegrass wlLh a ban[o ln hls hands, a
dobro (relaLed Lo Lhe sllde gulLar) across hls lap, an acousLlc gulLar aL hls feeL (he bullL Lhe
conLrapLlon LhaL allows hlm Lo play lL fooLsle-sLyle), and a harmonlca held Lo hls mouLh by a
brace. 8oyer has released flve albums, lncludlng 8arefooL 8reakdown and 8luegrass
ConLrapLlon. AlLernaLlve muslc mag 1he nolse belleves LhaL hls muslc sounds ºmore blended
Lhan mosL flve plece bluegrass bands."
lf you Lhlnk playlng a gulLar wlLh your feeL ls lmpresslve, you aln'L heard noLhlng yeL. ChocLaw
one-man band !oe 8arrlck bullL a devlce LhaL allows hlm Lo use hls LooLsles Lo play gulLar, bass
gulLar, ban[o, and snare drum aL Lhe same Llme. WlLh hls hands he works a double-necked
lnsLrumenL (also hls own creaLlon) LhaL ls half mandolln, half gulLar, someLlmes swlLchlng Lo a
flddle. Around hls neck ls LhaL sLaple of one-man bands, Lhe harmonlca. 1haL's a LoLal of slx or
seven lnsLrumenLs, plus vocals, slmulLaneously.
Pasll Adklns, accordlng Lo hls offlclal webslLe, has been playlng ºLrue lonesome counLry, hopped
up blues, and boogle woogle rockabllly nonsLop slnce 1949." As of early 2004, he's sLlll Lourlng.
Consldered Lhe progenlLor of Lhe psychobllly genre, Adklns walls on an unLold number of
lnsLrumenLs aL once. Pe clalms Lo play plano and organ wlLh hls elbows, and on some Lracks he
can be heard somehow playlng spoons.
Some purlsLs feel LhaL a Lrue one-man band noL only plays aL leasL Lhree lnsLrumenLs aL once,
buL musL be able Lo remaln moblle whlle cranklng ouL Lhe [ams. Among Lhls exLremely rare
breed ls AusLrallan lndusLrlal deslgner and [azz muslclan 1om nlcolson, who walks around
playlng ban[o, bass drum, cymbals, kazoo, and whlsLles, whlle slnglng.
Pumans aren'L Lhe only anlmals LhaL make muslc. 8lrds and whales are known for Lhelr
beauLlful songs, and Lhey've supplled Lhe conLenL for many ºsounds of naLure" albums.
8ecordlngs of oLher llfe forms ln Lhe acL of slnglng are harder Lo come by, buL Lhey're around.
1he bland LlLle Anlmal Muslc masks Lhe facL LhaL Lhls album of a Leam of sled dogs howllng
LogeLher ls qulLe a sLunner. A Cerman revlewer marvels: º1he chorus of dogs deflnlLely seems
Lo have lLs lead vocallsLs and harmonlzers and afLer a whlle one can hear Lhe moLlfs of Lhe
leadlng parLs belng expressed ln sLreLLo as Lhough ln a fugue, buL Lhen also lnverLed and even,
dare l say, ln reLrograde form."
AL Llmes, humans have aLLempLed Lo lncorporaLe anlmal sounds lnLo Lhelr muslc. MozarL
swlped some melodles from hls peL blrd. 1he Þaul WlnLer ConsorL played wlLh anlmal sounds,
and on Lhe hopelessly obscure Luro-album 8ugs & 8eaLs & 8easLs: naLural 1echno, Ammer &
Console go heavy on Lhe lnsecL sounds and llghL on Lhe arLlflclal muslc.
Craeme 8evell-cofounder of Lhe experlmenLal Cerman performance group/band
SÞk-creaLed 1he lnsecL Muslclans, an album bullL on Lhe sounds made by crlckeLs,
grasshoppers, clcadae, beeLles, flles, gnaLs, wasps, bees, and moLhs. ln many cases, Lhe creepy-
crawlles make nolses LhaL are lnaudlble Lo humans, buL Lhrough Lhe maglc of Lechnology, 8evell
has broughL Lhese hldden sounds Lo our llmlLed ears. 1he llner noLes of Lhe album explaln:
l Lhus chose Lo make volume l of 1he lnsecL Muslclans a serles of vlgneLLes of a
mulLlculLural naLure .Lach Lraces a developmenL from Lhe raw sound Lo lLs dlglLal
LransformaLlon and lLs poslLlon ln Lhe muslcal sLrucLure. AL mosL 8 dlfferenL sounds are used
ln one plece, Lhe beLLer for Lhe ear Lo Lrace Lhe modlflcaLlon and lLs developmenL as
synLacLlc and semanLlc componenL ln muslcal organlsaLlon. Some sounds (Lhe scrapes &
cllcks) lend Lhemselves more Lo rhyLhm, whllsL Lhose more Lonal (chlrps & buzzes) Lo
melody. l have Lrled Lo remaln falLhful Lo Lhe essenLlal ºnaLure" of each sound, and where
posslble Lo use an lnsecL naLlve Lo a parLlcular conLlnenL ln Lhe conLexL of a muslcal Lheme
based on Lhe eLhnlc muslc of LhaL conLlnenL.
Cn Lhe album naLural 8hyLhms by AnclenL luLures, muslclans lncludlng Mlchael MorforL play
wlLh frogs ln 8all and Call. 1he album LxperlmenLal Muslcal lnsLrumenLs: Larly ?ears has a
slmllar Lrack on lL ln whlch Lhe aforemenLloned !lm nollman (see lLem #3) plays gulLar wlLh a
group of whales.
Slmllarly, Lhe avanL-garde/[azz planlsL-composer klrk nurock has used vocallzaLlons, dldgerldoo,
and plano Lo coax dogs, caLs, gulnea plgs, wolves, sea llons, an owl, and oLher anlmals lnLo
maklng ylps, howls, squeals, and oLher nolses. Pe only chooses Lo work wlLh Lhe lndlvlduals
who have Lhe mosL melodlc and lnLeresLlng vocallzaLlons. Pls llve composlLlons lnclude ºSonaLa
for Þlano and uog," º1he 8ronx Zoo LvenLs," and Lhe Lhree-dog, 20-human chorus of ºPowl,"
performed aL Carnegle Pall. Pe's currenLly worklng on a Cu ln whlch [azz muslclans and varlous
furry or feaLhered creaLures lmprovlse wlLh each oLher.
AnoLher form of anlmal muslc-probably Lhe raresL-occurs when Lhe crlLLers play lnsLrumenLs,
elLher manmade or lmprovlsed. AL one polnL, clrcuses-lncludlng 8arnum and 8alley-feaLured
ºelephanL bands," buL no recordlngs appear Lo be exLanL. AL leasL one enLlre album of
pachyderm muslc ls avallable-1hal LlephanL CrchesLra. ln lL, slx young elephanLs aL a
conservaLlon cenLer ln 1halland play renaLs (slmllar Lo a xylophone), a bow bass, sllL drums, and
a gong, whlle someLlmes LrumpeLlng wlLh Lhelr Lrunks. 8eforehand, uavld Soldler-founder of
MulaLLa 8ecords, Lhe label LhaL released Lhe Lusked ones' album-LhoughL he'd have Lo sample
Lhe sounds Lhe elephanLs made, Lhen mlx Lhem lnLo a human composlLlon. 1urns ouL Lhe
elephanLs were so muslcally lncllned LhaL Lhe Lracks are exacLly as Lhey were performed llve.
Soldler played Lhe songs bllnd for many people, who all LhoughL Lhey were performed by homo
saplens. A crlLlc aL Lhe new ?ork 1lmes even named chamber muslc groups who play near
Llncoln CenLer as Lhe llkely performers!
A new ?ork 1lmes crlLlc-who knew Lhe Lrue source of Lhe muslc-wroLe: º1he players
lmprovlse dlsLlncL meLers and melodlc llnes, and vary and repeaL Lhem. 1he resulLs, aL once
medlLaLlve and dellberaLe, dellcaLe and lnslsLenLly Lhrummlng, sLrlke some WesLern llsLeners as
haunLlng, oLhers as monoLonous." 1he LconomlsL remarked: º1hey clearly have a sLrong sense
of rhyLhm. 1hey flap Lhelr ears Lo Lhe beaL, swlsh Lhelr Lalls and generally rock back and forLh."
Cne of Lhe few oLher such recordlngs ls ºMonkey 8uslness"-Lhe flrsL cuL on Lhe eplc
percusslon box-seL 1he 8lg 8ang-ln whlch leadlng naLure-recorder 8ernle krause caughL
chlmps maklng exclLed guLLural sounds and beaLlng on Lrees ln Lhe raln foresL. lL sure sounds
llke Lhey're Lrylng Lo make muslc.
unusual 8and # 1
8urqa 8and 1hls Lrlo of Musllm women ls known Lo have performed only once. SomeLlme
durlng Lhe summer of 2003, a Cerman muslc producer and hls colleagues were runnlng a
workshop ln kabul Lo relnLroduce Afghans Lo Lhelr muslcal herlLage. 1hey asked Lhe only female
ln aLLendance, Lhelr LranslaLor, lf she'd llke Lo play drums. Cn Lhe spur of Lhe momenL, she and
Lwo frlends donned Lhelr blue burqas and banged ouL a rock song, wlLh Lhe LranslaLor on sklns,
anoLher woman on bass, and a Lhlrd slnglng ln Lngllsh: º?ou glve me all your love, you glve me
all your klsses, and Lhen you Louch my burqa, and don'L know who lL ls." Agence lrance-Þresse
reporLs: ºAll LhaL remalns of Lhe ephemeral alllance of Lhe 8urqa and rock ls an amaLeur vldeo
cllp and a song remlxed by 8erlln u! 8arbara MorgensLern whlch has become a modesL
summer-Llme favourlLe [ln Cermany]."
LlS1 70 19 Þrofanely-named 8ands
An Cakland band formed ln 1993, luck has a name LhaL may make you Lhlnk of deaLh meLal or
lndusLrlal nolse, Lhough Lhey're acLually an alL pop/rock band along Lhe llnes of 1he Church and
8elly. (lncldenLally, when klSS was geLLlng sLarLed, Lhey consldered namlng Lhe band luck.)
WlLh Lwo women and Lwo men, nashvllle Þussy sounds llke lLs name-loud, harsh, and rude.
1wo years afLer formlng (ln Ceorgla, noL 1ennessee), Lhey released Lhelr debuL album: LeL
1hem LaL Þussy.
noL surprlslngly, Lhe grlndcore band Anal CunL Lrafflcks ln exLremely dark, obscene humor.
1helr songs rarely lasL more Lhan a mlnuLe, meanlng you geL 30 Lo 60 cuLs per album. WlLh
LlLles llke º!ack kevorklan ls Cool," ºl 8ecame a Counselor So l Could 1ell 8ape vlcLlms 1hey
Asked for lL," º8ecycllng ls Cay," ºl SenL ConcenLraLlon Camp looLage Lo Amerlca's lunnlesL
Pome vldeos," ºl lucked ?our Wlfe," and º?ou're ÞregnanL, So l klcked ?ou ln Lhe SLomach,"
maybe brevlLy ls a good Lhlng.
Songs by Lhe experlmenLal lndusLrlal band 1lL Wrench lnclude ºCorporaLe Sponsored Sex
Change CperaLlon," ºLverybodlly Crlflce needs School Þrayer," ºSLomach Llnlng of Cod," ºÞlL
8ull WlLh AluS," and ºCops PaLe llremen."
1he punk band Schlong ground ouL such dlLLles as ºl Wanna ScraLch My 8uLL," buL Lhey're besL
known for Lhelr cover album Þunk Slde SLory, whlch glves Lhe enLlre classlc muslcal WesL Slde
SLory a loud, debauched makeover.
!usL as nlne lnch nalls ls really 1renL 8eznor, Lhe ºband" Þrlck ls slmply kevln McMahon. lLs
only full-lengLh album-produced and released by 8eznor-falled Lo make a denL, [usL a prlck.
Peavy meLal band 3 Way Cum released only one album, 1997's kllllng Lhe Llfe.
1he mosL ofL-used profanlLy ln band names ls ºblLch," hands down. 1wo bands use Lhe word as
Lhelr full name, and are [olned by 8lLch MagneL, 8lLch AlerL, 8lLchcrafL, 8lLch &
Anlmal, Anvll 8lLch, Son of a 8lLch, Þsycho 8lLch, SouLhern 8lLch, LlLLle 8o
8lLch, 7 ?ear 8lLch , and oLhers.
Several bands have names LhaL are raunchy only lf you're ln on Lhe [oke. SLeely uan ls named
afLer an lndusLrlal-sLrengLh dlldo ln Wllllam 8urroughs' naked Lunch. AL leasL Lhree band names
are references Lo cum-Lhe Lovln' Spoonful and 10cc (boLh reflecL Lhe amounL ln a Lyplcal
e[aculaLlon), and 1hln WhlLe 8ope (anoLher 8urroughslsm). AlLhough l've never heard
anyLhlng Lo supporL Lhe ldea, l wonder lf Þearl !am doesn'L also fall lnLo Lhls caLegory.
8lchard MeLzger, Lhe creaLlve dlrecLor of 1he ulslnformaLlon Company (Lhe publlsher of Lhls
book), relaLes LhaL he was once a parL of a punk band called !lzz !anlLors.
unusual 8and # 2
1he 1ransplanL 8and 1hls muslcal ouLflL ls/was comprlsed of organ LransplanL surgeons. 1he
cover of Lhelr album, ClfL of Llfe, shows four gulLar cases covered ln sLlckers bearlng slogans
such as, º8ecycle ?ourself." (1hey're noL Lo be confused wlLh a band of Lhe same name LhaL
plays aL fundralsers for organ LransplanLs. 1haL band's founder, hearL reclplenL 8oberL See-
back, ls apparenLly Lhe only member wlLh dlrecL LransplanL experlence.)
LlS1 71 23 lranlan 8ock 8ands
1. Ababeal (deaLh meLal)
3. 8lack 8looms
8. laL 8aLs (punk)
11. kharazml (CoLhlc Lrance)
13. kuarash (acld [azz)
14. LunaLlcs on Lhe Crass
17. nefrln (reggae-pop)
18. Colan 8aLoor
21. SLalnless SLeel
23. 1he Angels of Pell
unusual 8and # 3
8ondellus 1he LsLonlan band 8ondellus plays muslc of Lhe Mlddle Ages and Lhe 8enalssance
on perlod lnsLrumenLs, such as Lhe luLe, harp, and hurdy-gurdy. 1haL's noL Lerrlbly unusual, buL
whaL earns Lhem a spoL ln Lhe book ls Lhelr fourLh album-SabbaLum, an enLlre dlsc of 8lack
SabbaLh songs recorded on medleval lnsLrumenLs and sung ln LaLln. l can only lmaglne a
perplexed Czzy Csbourne llsLenlng Lo ºverres MlllLares" (ºWar Þlgs") and ºCcull lllloll"
LlS1 72 36 Þulp novels
Þulp novels, prlnLed on dlrL-cheap paper (hence, Lhe name) and selllng for a Lrlfle, are an exLlncL
genre of Amerlcan wrlLlng/publlshlng. 1he golden age of Lhe pulps was preLLy much 1943 Lo
1933, buL Lhey were around for over a decade before and afLer Lhls perlod. A Llny porLlon of
Lhls Lhrowaway llL ls sLlll remembered and read Loday, Louls Lamour, uashlell PammeL, P.Þ.
LovecrafL, and lan llemlng are among Lhe few pulpsLers who rose above Lhe genre. 8uL Lhey
wroLe pulp LhaL ls sLlll accepLable ºgenre flcLlon"-sclence flcLlon, horror, WesLerns, spy novels,
mysLery flcLlon, eLc.
WhaL have been almosL compleLely forgoLLen (excepL by collecLors, blbllophlles, and pulp
culLlsLs) are Lhe explolLaLlon pulps LhaL dealL wlLh sex (orgles, adulLerous spouses,
homosexuallLy, promlscuous women, eLc.), drugs, and vlolence, someLlmes ln comblnaLlon,
almosL always wlLh as much sensaLlonallsm as posslble. Sure, 98 percenL of Lhe wrlLlng was
hackneyed and Lhe conLenL dldn'L llve up Lo lLs LlLlllaLlng promlse, buL Lhose lurld LlLles, Lagllnes,
and covers are worLhy of lmmorLallLy.
1. AC-uC SLud
auLhor !.x. Wllllams
Lagllne: ºA lover and hls lady.and hls laddle!"
2. Acld Crgy
auLhor: 1ony Calvano
Lagllne: ºÞsychedellc sln-Lrlppers.way ouL and wanLon!"
3. All on Sunday
auLhor: uon LllloLL (pseudonym of 8oberL Sllverberg)
Lagllne: º1he famlly shame was Lhelr only fame!"
4. 8asemenL Came
Lagllne: º?our chlldren know-buL Lhey won'L Lell you!"
3. 8eaLnlk WanLon
auLhor: uon LllloLL
Lagllne: ºShe lusLed ln sln orgles and reefer brawls!"
6. 8londes Are Skln ueep
auLhor: Louls 1rlmble
7. 8oss Lady
auLhor: ursula CranL
Lagllne: ºPow could she expecL a Leenage sLock-boy Lo sense her shameless need and shocklng
8. 8y Love uepraved
auLhor: ArLhur Adlon
Lagllne: ºÞorLraylng Lhe frlghLenlng spread of lesblanlsm among Lhe whlLe women of modern-
9. Call SouLh 3300: Ask for Molly!
auLhor: Crrle PlLL
Lagllne: ºA candld novel LhaL Lakes you behlnd Lhe scenes aL Lhose sales convenLlons!"
10. Campus klLLens
auLhor: !oan Lllls
11. Chaln Cang
auLhor: uon Polllday
Lagllne: º1helr slns were Lhe shame of a changlng socleLy!"
12. 1he CheaLers
auLhor: Crrle PlLL
Lagllne: ºCan an unhappy wlfe be a happy mlsLress?"
13. larm Clrl
auLhor: Anneke de Lange
Lagllne: ºShe llved llke a wlcked, llLLle anlmal."
14. lreakouL on SunseL SLrlp
auLhor: nlck 8ogers
Lagllne: ºlags, freaks and Lhe famous Lurn Lhe sLreeL lnLo a hlpple hell."
13. Co uown, Aaron
auLhor: Chrls uavldson
Lagllne: º1hlrd-sex slave Lo Lhe 1hlrd 8elch's bruLal lusL!"
16. P ls for Peroln
auLhor: uavld Pulburd
Lagllne: ºA Leenage narcoLlc Lells her sLory."
17. Plgh School !ungle
auLhor: Alex CarLer
Lagllne: ºuebble's daLe ln Lhe park Lurned lnLo gang rape.And her frlends wouldn'L leL her
18. Plll 8llly ln Plgh Peels
auLhor: !eff 8oga
Lagllne: ºShe was slxLeen.and Lrue Lo Lhe code of Lhe hllls.rlpe for love!"
19. Pome Lo Parlem
auLhor: Claude Mckay
Lagllne: ºLove was cheap and llfe was hlgh ln Lhe Lorrld zone of 'llLLle old' new ?ork."
auLhor: !.x. Wllllams
Lagllne: º?ou feel very, very.sexy!"
21. lf Lhe Coffln llLs
auLhor: uay keene
22. lnLo ÞluLonlan uepLhs
auLhor: SLanLon A. CoblenLz
Lagllne: ºAn exclLlng sclence-flcLlon novel of a world wlLh Lhree sexes on a faraway planeL!"
23. lL's My luneral
auLhor: ÞeLer 8abe
Lagllne: ºnever glve a klller an even break-shooL flrsL and Lhe blonde's all yours."
auLhor: !ason PyLes
Lagllne: ºShe wouldn'L sLay ouL of hls bed.no maLLer whaL he sald or dld Lo her!"
23. klng of new Lesbos
auLhor: CurL Aldrlch
Lagllne: ºLvery man's day dream came Lrue for hlm!"
26. klss My llsL!
auLhor: !ames Padley Chase
27. 1he LeaLher Clrls
auLhor: una Mu[er
Lagllne: ºShe had Lhe face of an angel, Lhe body of a devll-and Lhe passlons of a lesblan!"
28. Lez on Wheels
auLhor: uan 8ader
Lagllne: º1hey were she-sLuds ln a free-wheellng Lraller of depravlLy."
auLhor: LamberL Lacy
Lagllne: ºLSu plunged Lhem lnLo an orgy of vlolence.."
30. LusL ls no Lady
auLhor: SLephanle uavls
31. LuLher: Amber SaLyr
auLhor: 8oy llannagon
Lagllne: ºA swamp negro.A WhlLe Lrash woman.A Lraglc hunger."
auLhor: Wllllam lrlsh
Lagllne: ºA cheap and evll glrl seLs a hopped-up klller agalnsL a clLy."
33. Marl[uana Clrl
auLhor: n.8. ueMexlco
Lagllne: ºShe Lraded her body for drugs-and klcks!"
auLhor: !oan Lllls
Lagllne: ºShe played upon men's lusLs Lo geL anyLhlng she wanLed.Lhen she Lrled Lo cross Lhe
33. Murder ls uangerous
auLhor: Saul Levlnson
36. Musk, Pashlsh and 8lood
auLhor: PecLor lrance
Lagllne: º1he advenLures of a modern man among Lhe cruel men and passlonaLe women of
37. naked She uled
auLhor: uon LllloLL
auLhor: Clyde Alllson
Lagllne: ºAgenL 0008 baLLles Lhe LempLress of Lhe deep!"
noLe: 1hls was parL of a !ames 8ond spoof serles feaLurlng Lhe volupLuous buL deadly AgenL
39. 1he needle
auLhor: Sloane M. 8rlLaln
Lagllne: ºMan or woman, slsLer or broLher: her lusL knew no bounds."
40. Clder Woman
auLhor: Sheldon Lord
Lagllne: ºWhere could Lhls woman-boy love affalr lead?"
41. Þerfume and Þaln
auLhor: klmberly kemp
42. 1he ÞeLLlng CeneraLlon
auLhor: Luclus 8. SLelner
Lagllne: º1he flne arL of peLLlng, compleLely descrlbed wlLh auLhenLlc case hlsLorles."
43. 1he Þrlce of SalL
auLhor: Clalre Morgan (pseudonym of ÞaLrlcla PlghsmlLh)
noLe: Cenerally consldered Lhe flrsL lesblan pulp novel wlLh a happy endlng.
44. Cueer ÞaLLerns
auLhor: Lllyan 8rock
Lagllne: ºA dellcaLe Lheme, LreaLed honesLly and candldly."
43. 8ally 8ound Lhe lag
auLhor: uon Polllday
noLe: 1hls was parL of a serles spooflng 1he Man from u.n.C.L.L., called 1he Man from C.A.M.Þ.
46. SaLan Was a Lesblan
auLhor: lred Paley
auLhor: !ohn 8urLon 1hompson
Lagllne: ºA nymphomanlac who Lurned men lnLo sex candles and burned Lhem aL boLh ends.
1hen she fell ln love."
48. 1he Slns of Seena
auLhor: uon LllloLL
49. Slum uocLor
auLhor: MaLLhew Clay
30. 1ender 1ormenL
auLhor: 8andy Salem
Lagllne: ºPer marrlage was born ln hell-her husband was a woman!"
31. 1hose Sexy Saucer Þeople
auLhor: !an Pudson
32. 1he 1raller Þark Clrls
auLhor: Clenn Canary
Lagllne: º1helr love was as moblle as Lhelr home and [usL as carefree."
33. 1v 1ramps
auLhor: WalLer uyer
Lagllne: ºCn camera Lhey vlolaLe Lhe Code of uecency. Cff camera Lhey vlolaLed each oLher."
34. Wldow's uellghL
auLhor: !.x. Wllllams
Lagllne: ºShe wore black.buL noL much of lL!"
33. Women's 8arracks
auLhor: 1ereska 1orres
Lagllne: º1he frank auLoblography of a lrench soldler glrl."
noLe: 1hls book was condemned by name by Lhe Pouse un-Amerlcan AcLlvlLles CommlLLee.
36. 69 8arrow SLreeL
auLhor: Sheldon Lord
Lagllne: º1helr love was rlghL! 8uL Lhelr sex was wrong."
+ Cdd & Lnds
13 1hlngs 1haL Cause or Mlmlc
1he causes of such problems as depresslon, blpolar lllness (manlc-depresslon), exLreme anxleLy,
and schlzophrenla are Lhe sub[ecL of much debaLe, buL we do know LhaL a loL subsLances,
deflclencles, and physlcal maladles can cause sympLoms LhaL are ofLen consldered a menLal
lllness. A loL of people who are dlagnosed as crazy are really sufferlng from one or more of Lhe
problems llsLed below, whlch are drawn prlmarlly from Lhe serles PealLhy Mlnd Culdes by
ulseases and dlsorders
lL's unlversally recognlzed LhaL sLroke, lupus, mono, and Þarklnson's are among Lhe medlcal
problems LhaL can make you feel blpolar, whlle braln Lumors, epllepsy, mlgralnes, low blood
oxygen, and llver dlsease can cause psychoLlc sympLoms.
ÞracLlcally any glven drug can cause depresslon, oLher mood dlsorders, and schlzophrenla ln
some people. Þaln rellevers, Lranqulllzers, blrLh-conLrol pllls, anLlhlsLamlnes, muscle relaxanLs,
and several oLher caLegorles of pharmaceuLlcal are Lhe mosL llkely Lo mess wlLh your head.
Peavy meLal polsonlng
Lven Lhe medlcal esLabllshmenL accepLs LhaL heavy meLals are hlghly Loxlc Lo Lhe nervous
sysLem, yeL for some reason Lhey rarely llnk Lhem Lo Lhe sympLoms of menLal lllness. Mercury
was whaL made haL-makers ºmad as haLLers" ln Lhe olden days, and many of us now have Lhls
polsonous subsLance rlghL ln our mouLhs. Sllver amalgam LooLh fllllngs are aL leasL half mercury,
so Lhls neuroLoxln ls consLanLly leaklng lnLo our bodles. (nlneLy percenL of depressed people
who have Lhelr sllver fllllngs removed feel Lhelr depresslon llfL.) Many Lypes of flsh consumed
by humans are loaded Lo Lhe gllls wlLh mercury. ÞredaLory flsh (llke sharks), shellflsh, Luna, and
cod are sald Lo be Lhe worsL.
Llke mercury, Lhe meLals copper, alumlnum, and lead-all presenL ln our envlronmenLs-Lrlgger
halluclnaLlons, depresslon, anxleLy, lrrlLablllLy, and menLal fog.
MosL people don'L geL enough omega-3. 1hls Lype of essenLlal faLLy acld ls absoluLely cruclal Lo
keeplng your braln hummlng along smooLhly, and Lhe lack of lL has been cllnlcally Lled Lo
depresslon, blpolar dlsorder, and schlzophrenla. llsh oll ls rlch ln omega-3, buL Lhen you have Lo
worry abouL Lhe mercury! lnsLead, Lry Lhe seed oll of flax, pumpkln, or hemp. Some
supplemenLs mlx Lhese vegeLable olls LogeLher for maxlmum effecL.
Amlno acld deflclency
uerlved from lngesLed proLelns, amlno aclds are Lhe bulldlng blocks of neuroLransmlLLers. ln a
Lwo-sLep process, LrypLophan ls Lurned lnLo seroLonln, whlch plays a cruclal (Lhough noL
undersLood) role ln mood. naLural Mlnd auLhor SLephanle Marohn noLes: º8esearch has found
LhaL LrypLophan may be beneflclal ln Lhe LreaLmenL of manla, depresslon, anxleLy, panlc
dlsorders, sleep dlsorders, and psychosls." CLher amlno aclds have been shown Lo help allevlaLe
depresslon, and lf a person doesn'L have enough CA8A, he ofLen becomes manlc.
vlLamln 8 deflclency
All of Lhe vlLamlns ln Lhe 8 famlly are vlLal Lo keeplng you sane. 8elng low on any of Lhem can
Louch off depresslon. noL havlng enough follc acld, 8
, or 8
makes you unsLable and
psychoLlc. Lack of 8
acLually causes a recognlzed dlsease, pellagra, whlch ls vlrLually
lndlsLlngulshable from schlzophrenla.
vlLamln C deflclency
Pey, vlLamln C flghLs more Lhan colds-lL also sLaves off depresslon, menLal fog, and even
lf your Lhyrold ls overacLlve or slugglsh, you can feel blpolar or even have deluslons. ln women,
noL enough esLrogen means depresslon, Loo much means anxleLy. Whacked-ouL adrenal glands
can cause problems ofLen mlsLaken for schlzophrenla.?
Chronlcally low blood sugar ofLen causes depresslon and relaLed mood swlngs, whlch can be
qulLe severe. l can LesLlfy Lo Lhls, slnce l'm hypoglycemlc. 1he mlnuLe my blood sugar dlps, l geL
exLremely lrrlLable ([usL ask my glrlfrlend!) and l haLe Lhe world. CuLLlng ouL sugar and caffelne,
mlnlmlzlng carbs, and eaLlng flve or slx small, proLeln-rlch meals a day keeps blood sugar aL a
consLanL, opLlmal level and ellmlnaLes hypoglycemla.
ln order Lo funcLlon properly, your body needs a cerLaln amounL of Lhe fungus Candlda alblcans
ln your lnLesLlnes. Candlda ls kepL ln check by good bacLerla, such as acldophllus, buL
someLlmes Lhe balance ls dlsrupLed. When acldophllus ls kllled by mercury, anLlbloLlcs, or Lhe
Þlll, Lhe yeasL-llke Candlda Lakes over, produclng a laundry llsL of ºmenLal" problems:
ºdepresslon, faLlgue, anxleLy, lrrlLablllLy, memory and concenLraLlon problems, dlzzlness,
lnsomnla, headaches, feellngs of unreallLy, and even deluslons, manla, psychosls, and sulcldal
or vlolenL Lendencles," accordlng Lo Marohn.
My ladylove Anne suffered a Candlda overload broughL on by anLlbloLlcs, and l can Lell you, lL
aln'L preLLy. She had never felL physlcally or menLally worse ln her enLlre llfe, and, of course,
docLors had no ldea whaL was wrong. When a klneslologlsL-chlropracLor-nuLrlLlonlsL correcLed
Lhe lmbalance, she felL beLLer ln less Lhan Lwo weeks and was back Lo her old self ln slx weeks.
lf you pay aLLenLlon, you mlghL noLlce LhaL sympLoms sLarL soon afLer you lngesL cerLaln foods
or drlnks. 1hls ls because your body ls lnLoleranL Lo a glven subsLance, Lrlggerlng your lmmune
sysLem Lo aLLack Lhls lnvader, and Lhls process can dlrecLly lmpacL Lhe braln. ln naLural
ÞrescrlpLlons, ur. 8oberL Clller wrlLes LhaL a ºsLudy found LhaL 83 percenL of a group of
depressed chlldren and adulLs was allerglc" Lo someLhlng Lhey were eaLlng. WheaL, especlally
Lhe gluLen lL conLalns, ls Lhe mosL common edlble culprlL when lL comes Lo depresslon, blpolar
dlsorder, and schlzophrenla.
AsparLame (nuLraSweeL), MSC, and sulflLes are Lhree blg causes of depresslon and anxleLy. LoLs
of oLher preservaLlves, LasLe enhancers, and arLlflclal colorlngs and flavorlngs are Lo blame, as
lf your skull ls mlsshapen due Lo LraumaLlc blrLh or laLer lncldenLs, lL may be puLLlng pressure on
your braln. 1hls can lead Lo malfuncLlons, whlch can be aL leasL parLlally allevlaLed by
1ake a perfecLly sane person, deprlve her of sleep for 72 hours, and she'll sLarL dlsplaylng classlc
psychoLlc sympLoms-halluclnaLlons, paranola, deluslons. AcLually, lL's noL sleep ln general
LhaL's so necessary, lL's Lhe 8LM sLage (ln whlch we dream). ln experlmenLs, sclenLlsLs have leL
people fall asleep buL wake Lhem up Lhe second Lhey enLer 8LM. 1he resulL ls vlrLually ldenLlcal
Lo belng deprlved of all sleep. noL sleeplng on a regular schedule can cause slmllar problems.
noL geLLlng enough sunllghL (or, alLernaLlvely, llghL from full-specLrum bulbs) ls known Lo cause
depresslon and numerous oLher physlcal/menLal problems. WlLh lLs creaLlon of Seasonal
AffecLlve ulsorder, Lhe menLal healLh esLabllshmenL has offlclally recognlzed Lhls effecL.
11 Super Cures ?our uocLor Won'L
1ell ?ou AbouL ulane ÞeLryk-8loom
Pere are Llps Lo allevlaLe 11 common medlcal problems. ln splLe of proven Lrack records and
convlnclng research, Lhey're noL golng Lo be offered Lo you aL your LradlLlonal docLor's offlce.
lgnorance keeps Lhem from you ln some cases, ln oLhers lL's a mallgnanL LerrlLorlal proLecLlon
rackeL. Pere Lhey are, by allmenL wlLh explanaLlons from experLs ln Lhe relaLed flelds.
Carpal Lunnel syndrome - avold surgery
LxperL oplnlon: ur. !ames C. Ldmondson, 8rooklyn, new ?ork, board-cerLlfled adulL and chlld
A plnched nerve ln your wrlsL from repeLlLlve moLlon or physlcal sLress, Ldmondson says,
serlously weakens Lhe mosL essenLlal muscle ln your Lhumb. When you flex and exLend Lhe
weakened Lhumb, lL may ache, so you Lend Lo avold uslng lL. lnsLead you may claw or scoop aL
lLems uslng Lhe four flngers.
ln order Lo lncrease your range of moLlon whlle uslng [usL Lhe flngers, you have Lo LwlsL your
forearms, arms, shoulders and neck lnLo awkward poslLlons. 1he chronlc overuse of Lhese
muscles, Ldmondson explalns, creaLes nagglng spasms LhroughouL Lhe upper half of your body,
whlch can Lrlgger back paln, chesL paln, all Lypes of headaches, blurry vlslon, rlnglng ln Lhe ears,
numbness of face and Longue, floaLlng sensaLlons, loss of balance, and dlzzy spells.
lor Lhese reasons, Ldmondson says, Lhumb problems musL be addressed by proLecLlng Lhe
nerves from furLher ln[ury and reduclng sLresses. Many undergo surgery unnecessarlly.
(Ldmondson sees hundreds of paLlenLs a week for Lhls condlLlon and refers only abouL 1
percenL of Lhose for surgery-Len ouL of 1,000.)
Pere's hls full LreaLmenL proLocol:
s Wear wrlsL spllnLs whlle sleeplng. Whlle awake, Loo, lf you llke.
s keep arms and hands warm aL all Llmes.
s uo sLreLchlng exerclses every day for aL leasL 20 mlnuLes.
s 1ake hourly sLreLchlng breaks whlle worklng.?
s 8elax Lense muscles ln a hoL shower or baLh (waLch ouL lf you have dlabeLes because lL
can lmpalr senslLlvlLy Lo heaL).
s use yoga exerclses Lo help you relax muscles and mlnd.
AL Lhe same Llme, do noL squeeze anyLhlng, llke a ball or clay or sponge, do noL repeaLedly flex
and exLend flngers, llfL welghLs or exerclse wlLh free welghLs, pull or sLreLch an elasLlc sLrap, or
dangle heavy, fllled plasLlc grocery bags from handles across flngers. Also, don'L apply lce
because lL wlll knoL muscles.
Ldmondson ls responslble for Lhe neurologlcal care of abouL 80,000 paLlenLs a year aL CenLral
8rooklyn Medlcal Croup, Þ.C. Pe ls a new ?ork unlverslLy Medlcal School developmenLal
neurologlsL who ldenLlfled Lhe molecule neurons use Lo blnd Lo and communlcaLe wlLh gllal
Chlldhood mlddle ear lnfecLlons - avold dangerous mlsuse of anLlbloLlcs
LxperL oplnlon: ur. Cerard Clum, ÞresldenL of Llfe ChlropracLlc College, Payward, Callfornla.
Mlddle ear lnfecLlon ln chlldren can cause severe paln and compllcaLlons. Þhyslclans usually
LreaL lL by glvlng an anLlbloLlc. SLudles have shown Lhls Lo be of no use ln curlng Lhe dlsease and
dangerous because lL seLs up Lhe poLenLlal for repeaLed lnfecLlons by sLronger and more
anLlbloLlc-reslsLanL organlsms, accordlng Lo ur. Clum.
Canada, he sald, ls Lhe mosL aggresslve ln LreaLlng mlddle ear lnfecLlons ln chlldren wlLh
anLlbloLlcs. 1he neLherlands does noL use anLlbloLlcs aL all ln such cases. SLudles show Lhe raLes
of recovery and compllcaLlons ln Lhe Lwo counLrles are Lhe same. Whlle Canadlans and
Amerlcans are wasLlng Lhelr money on anLlbloLlcs and conLrlbuLlng Lo Lhelr dangerous overuse,
chlropracLlc pracLlce offers a greaL Lrack record ln effecLlng cures Lhrough splnal manlpulaLlon.
Clum says blockage of Lhe LusLachlan Lube causes such lnfecLlons. upper cervlcal splnal
ad[usLmenL, he sald, can ald muscular mechanlsms ln normallzlng Lhe LusLachlan Lube. 8uL
pedlaLrlclans conLlnue Lo wrlLe prescrlpLlons.
ºl wouldn'L Lake my dog Lo a chlropracLor," he remembers Lhe ophLhalmologlsL Lelllng hls dad.
1haL was Lhe momenL ur. Clum declded Lo become a chlropracLor. WhaL Lhe ophLhalmologlsL
called a mlracle-hls resLored good vlslon-he knew, even aL age Lwelve, had been broughL
abouL by chlropracLlc manlpulaLlon. ln Lhe lnLervenlng 30-plus years, Lhe pre[udlce of medlcal
docLors agalnsL chlropracLors has been slow Lo decllne. lew M.u.s wrlLe referrals Lo
chlropracLors. A naLlonal survey showed LhaL among 36 percenL of physlclans who sald Lhey
belleved splnal manlpulaLlon would be helpful for lower back paln, only 2 percenL would make
a referral ln such a case.
Cardlovascular dlsease - prevenLaLlve/resLoraLlve known and sllghLed
by docLors for Lhree decades
LxperL oplnlon: ur. uavld Sands, assoclaLe dean for academlc and cllnlcal affalrs, lnsLlLuLe for
naLural Medlclne and ÞrevenLlon, lalrfleld, lowa.
uocLors are relucLanL Lo acknowledge Lhe connecLlon beLween mlnd and body, buL, Sands says,
lL's a facL LhaL reducLlon of sLress llke LhaL faclllLaLed Lhrough 1ranscendenLal MedlLaLlon
reduces coronary dlsease. 1here are fewer sLrokes and hearL aLLacks among Lhose who
medlLaLe. 1he effecLs begln lmmedlaLely for every age group. Þlaques and hardenlng of Lhe
arLerles can be reversed [usL by pracLlclng medlLaLlon, Sands says, buL Lhere's more. Calmness
and sense of well-belng whlle medlLaLlng carry over whlle Lhe medlLaLor ls engaged ln oLher
acLlvlLles. AnxleLy ls dlmlnlshed aL all Llmes.
1he key reason, accordlng Lo Sands: MedlLaLlon enllvens Lhe body's lnner lnLelllgence and
resLores fundamenLal vlLallLy. º1here are real physlcal effecLs-changes and repalrs," he sald.
1hese were shown ln collaboraLlve sLudles beLween hls lnsLlLuLe and Lhe unlverslLy of lowa, buL
noL for Lhe flrsL Llme.
8ack ln 1973, Parvard cardlologlsL ur. PerberL 8enson had already goLLen Lhe same resulLs ln
sLudles aL Parvard and 8osLon's 8eLh lsrael PosplLal. Pls book, 1he 8elaxaLlon 8esponse, flrsL
publlshed 28 years ago, has become a classlc ln Lhe fleld.
CLher sLudles have had slmllar resulLs. So lL remalns mlnd-boggllng, accordlng Lo Sands, LhaL
mosL docLors only pay llp servlce Lo Lhe flndlngs and sLlll reach for Lhe prescrlpLlon pad flrsL.
lnferLlllLy - documenLed dleLary soluLlons
LxperL oplnlon: lern 8elss, auLhor of 1he lnferLlllLy uleL: CeL ÞregnanL and ÞrevenL Mlscarrlage.
8elss bases her dleL on more Lhan 300 documenLed medlcal sLudles, lncludlng such slmple
Lhlngs as avoldlng dalry producLs and glnger. And alLhough her book ls endorsed by several
lnferLlllLy speclallsLs and Lhe Amerlcan SocleLy for 8eproducLlve Medlclne, dleL conLlnues Lo
Lake a back seaL Lo medlcal LreaLmenL for lnferLlllLy, ºwhlch," 8elss says, ºls much more
lnvaslve, much more expenslve, and no more llkely Lo succeed."
ºAfLer more Lhan Lhree years of lnferLlllLy and mlscarrlage, l now have Lhree chlldren because of
Lhls dleL!" 8elss says.
CsLeoporosls - hold Lhe losamax
LxperL oplnlon: 8arbara Morrls, reglsLered pharmaclsL, auLhor of ÞuL Cld on Pold: 1he Cnly
Culde ?ou'll Lver need Lo Co lrom 8aby 8oomer Lo WhaLababe!.
lL's slmply vlLamln u-2,000 unlLs per day-says Lhls 74-year-old pharmaclsL who works full-
Llme for a naLlonal grocery chaln and malnLalns a vlvaclLy LhaL belles her age. A docLor wlll
prescrlbe producLs relaLed Lo Lhe maLerlal used Lo remove llme deposlLs from fauceLs, she says.
º1haL's why paLlenLs are cauLloned noL Lo lle down for an hour afLer Laklng losamax-because
lf lL geLs caughL ln Lhe esophagus lL may erode lL."
A check of Lhe onllne naLlonal Llbrary of Medlclne Lurns up a recenL !apanese sLudy flndlng LhaL
ºvlLamln u(3) may conLrlbuLe Lo Lhe local producLlon of esLrogen, Lhus leadlng Lo proLecLlve
effecL agalnsL osLeoporosls especlally afLer menopause."
Larly ln her llfe, Morrls, a graduaLe of 8uLgers unlverslLy College of Þharmacy, became
convlnced LhaL slgns of ºold age" assoclaLed wlLh Lhe normal aglng process resulLed noL [usL
from heredlLy buL also from llfesLyle cholces and, as such, could be manlpulaLed and conLrolled.
She's dedlcaLed Lo helplng 8oomers and oLhers reLaln Lhe vlLal characLerlsLlcs of youLh.
CLher Llps from 8arbara:
lrrlLable bowel syndrome/overacLlve bladder - end ºLhe runs"
uslng flve or more grams dally of l-gluLamlne ls a ºreal wonder worker" for brlnglng bowel
movemenLs back Lo normal, assumlng Lhere ls no underlylng dlsease, she sald. lor women wlLh
a bladder reLenLlon problem, Lhe answer ls vaglnal LesLosLerone and kegel exerclses. ºMosL
LradlLlonal docs don'L know anyLhlng beyond ueLrol L.A. As a plus, Lhe proper LesLosLerone
reglmen wlll resLore llbldo."
Plgh cholesLerol - proLecL your muscles
1o lower cholesLerol, docLors wlll prescrlbe sLaLln drugs, whlch are ºdlabollcal," Morrls warns.
1haL's because Lhey lnhlblL an enzyme called CoC10, necessary for Lhe sLrengLh of any muscle
ln Lhe body. So lf you Lake a drug Lo lower cholesLerol, you need Lo Lake addlLlonal CoC10. Cr,
she says, Lry pollcosanol. lL's a planL derlvaLlve avallable ln healLh food sLores. ºlL works
wonders, buL mosL LradlLlonal M.u.s don'L know lL exlsLs," she says.
Chronlc faLlgue syndrome/ flbromyalgla - yes, someLhlng can be done
LxperL oplnlon: ur. !acob 1elLelbaum, auLhor of lrom laLlgued Lo lanLasLlc.
ºllve dlfferenL docLors Lold me Lhere was noLhlng Lhey could do" ls Lhe Lype of commenL LhaL
floods Lhe Amazon.com revlews of 1elLelbaum's book. 8y Lhelr own LesLlmonlals, many chronlc
faLlgue and flbromyalgla paLlenLs have flnally been helped by 1elLelbaum.?
Pe re[ecLs boLh Lhe vlew LhaL Lhe allmenLs are nonexlsLenL and LhaL noLhlng can be done.
ClS comes because Lhe body has ºblown a fuse," he says. 1here may be a varleLy of causes, buL
Lhe key fuse ls ln Lhe hypoLhalamus, whlch conLrols producLlon and release of hormones as well
as LemperaLure regulaLlon, blood pressure, and oLher funcLlons of Lhe auLonomlc nervous
sysLem. 1elLelbaum LreaLs all sympLoms lnvolvlng Lhese funcLlons aL once wlLh four key sLeps:
s LlghL Lo nlne hours of sleep a nlghL.
s nuLrlLlonal supporL.
s normallzlng Lhyrold funcLlon (blood LesLs don'L Lell Lhe sLory here, he warns).
s 1reaLlng any lnfecLlons-usually yeasL.
AlLhough some of Lhe proLocol for LesLs and supplemenLs can Lend Lo be expenslve, 1elLelbaum
glves economlcal ways Lo accompllsh Lhem vla hls webslLe, endfaLlgue.com.
1elLelbaum may be parLlcularly compasslonaLe wlLh ClS sufferers because he baLLled Lhe
dlsease hlmself. ln 1973, whlle ln medlcal school aL Chlo SLaLe, he had a bouL of ºdrop-dead
flu." AfLer a monLh, he sLlll couldn'L geL ouL of bed before noon. 1he deblllLaLlng faLlgue forced
hlm Lo drop ouL of school even Lhough pursulng a medlcal career was hls llfe-long dream. AfLer
a year of sLudylng hls own lllness he recovered enough Lo conLlnue-and devoLe hls career Lo
helplng oLhers slmllarly affllcLed.
Pormone replacemenL - Lhe hoLLesL Loplc golng
LxperL oplnlon: ur. Charles L. Anderson, 8urllngLon, vermonL, auLhor of 8age AgalnsL Age and
SecreLs Lo PealLhy Aglng.
lor years, menopausal women had no opLlons. 1here was Þremarln and Lhere was Þremarln-a
subsLance made from Lhe urlne of female horses.
ºnoL exacLly analogous Lo Lhe human body," says ur. Anderson. 1oday, Anderson offers Lhree
s A compound uLlllzlng Lhree componenLs of esLrogen-esLrone, esLradlol, and esLrlol. lL's
called 1rlesL and ls derlved from planLs. AlLernaLlve and compllmenLary physlclans use lL.
s A low-progesLerone cream.
s Cr an herbal blend of black cohosh, uon-Cual, and vlLex.
?ears ago Anderson became convlnced LhaL Lhe lncrease ln breasL and cervlcal cancers was due
Lo Lhe wesLern dleL and Þremarln. MosL docLors were slow Lo see Lhe danger, now supporLed
by research, ln Þremarln.
AlLhough Anderson may seem ouL on a llmb, compared Lo Lhe huddled masses of physlclans, he
ls supporLed by a growlng cadre of dlvergenL Lhlnkers. 1hese docLors make up Lhe membershlps
of Lhe Amerlcan College for AdvancemenL ln Medlclne, formed ln Lhe 1980s, Loday wlLh abouL
1,300 members, and Lhe more recenL A4M-Amerlcan AssoclaLlon of AnLl-Aglng Medlclne.
1alklng Lo mosL docLors ouLslde Lhese groups, Anderson sald, ls a dead end. 1hey are noL
lnLeresLed ln learnlng.
WhaL Anderson and hls colleagues have learned so far ls LhaL mosL allmenLs, aglng along wlLh
Lhem, are relaLed Lo dleL.
ºWhaL ls kllllng us?" Anderson asks. ºuesLrucLlon of our cells Lhrough LoxlclLy or deflclency of
ºWe have free radlcals, whlch cause lrrlLaLlon, lmpacLlng every cell."
WhaL do we do Lo proLecL ourselves? Anderson advlses ellmlnaLlng sugar as much as posslble
(yeasL feeds on lL), geL Lhe heavy meLals and Loxlns ouL lf presenL ln our sysLems (arsenlc, lead,
and mercury are among Lhe Lop dangers), allevlaLe our allergles, supplemenL hormones,
supporL Lhe lmmune sysLem, and weed ouL lnfecLlons.
ur. Anderson, who has been ln pracLlce more Lhan 30 years, veered from Lhe LradlLlonal
medlcal paLh ln Lhe 1980s when hls wlfe developed a cancerous lump on her leg. AfLer Lhe
Lumor was surglcally removed, Lhey declded on heavy dosages of anLl-oxldanLs. Anderson, a
favorlLe referral physlclan of Lhe laLe ur. 8oberL ALklns, sald he doesn'L mlnd crlLlclsm from
colleagues. ºSooner or laLer Lhey usually end up brlnglng a famlly member Lo me." Pls wlfe, by
Lhe way, ls dolng flne.
Also from ur. Anderson, advlce on:
PyperacLlvlLy and ALLenLlon ueflclL ulsorder - food ls Lhe prlme suspecL
Anderson says a vasL proporLlon of chlldren wlLh Lhese problems are allerglc Lo foods Lhey're
eaLlng. When he ls consulLed ln a suspecLed Auu or hyperacLlvlLy case, he suggesLs blood LesLs
for food allergles, belng careful Lo use a rellable lab.
As 1elLelbaum, Loo, noLed, dlfferenL labs can come up wlLh remarkably dlfferenL resulLs wlLh
Lhe same blood sample. 1he same lab, wlLh a sample submlLLed under dlfferenL names, can
come up wlLh dlfferenL resulLs.
So whaL's a person Lo do? 1esL wlLh a repuLable lab and reLesL unLll resulLs are conslsLenL.
AsLhma - Lhe magneslum meLhod
AsLhma sufferers can ofLen reduce Lhe frequency and dosage of lnhalers wlLh 800 Lo 1,000
mllllgrams of magneslum a day, Anderson says. SomeLlmes Lhey no longer need Lhem aL all.
Anderson LreaLs Lhe whole specLrum of medlcal problems, buL says LhaL wlLh almosL anyLhlng,
º?ou're golng Lo walk away wlLh a dleL." So why walL for dlsease? SLarL eaLlng rlghL, now.
LlS1 73 11 WhlsLle-blowers
Ma[or Ceneral Smedley u. 8uLler
lmaglne one of Lhe mosL hlghly-decoraLed mlllLary men ln uS hlsLory. lmaglne a Marlne who
was awarded Lwo Congresslonal Medals of Ponor, Lhe Army ulsLlngulshed Servlce Medal, Lhe
navy ulsLlngulshed Servlce Medal, and Lhe lrench Crder of Lhe 8lack SLar. lmaglne a Marlne
sLlll spoken of wlLh awe wlLhln Lhe Corps, whose name ls now Lhe name of Lhe base ln Cklnawa.
now lmaglne LhaL, upon reLlrlng, Lhls ºhero" and ºlegend" (Lwo words Lhe mlllLary uses Lo
descrlbe hlm) reallzed LhaL Amerlca's forelgn lnLervenLlons are done ºLo proLecL some lousy
lnvesLmenL of Lhe bankers." 1hen lmaglne LhaL he spoke ouL abouL Lhls.
?ou can sLop lmaglnlng now, because Lhls really happened. Ma[or Ceneral Smedley u. 8uLler
was a brllllanL, brave mlllLary man who reallzed LhaL he had been used as Lhe enforcer ln a
global shakedown. ln 1933 he publlshed a long essay LlLled ºWar ls a 8ackeL," whlch has
become an anLl-war classlc. 1wo years prlor Lo LhaL, he gave a speech along Lhe same llnes. 1he
mosL wldely quoLed secLlon conLalns Lhe followlng confesslon:
l spenL LhlrLy-Lhree years and four monLhs ln acLlve mlllLary servlce as a member of Lhls
counLry's mosL aglle mlllLary force, Lhe Marlne Corps. l served ln all commlssloned ranks
from Second LleuLenanL Lo Ma[or-Ceneral. And durlng LhaL perlod, l spenL mosL of my Llme
belng a hlgh class muscle-man for 8lg 8uslness, for Wall SLreeL and for Lhe 8ankers. ln shorL,
l was a rackeLeer, a gangsLer for caplLallsm. l suspecLed l was [usL parL of a rackeL aL Lhe
Llme. now l am sure of lL. Llke all Lhe members of Lhe mlllLary professlon, l never had a
LhoughL of my own unLll l lefL Lhe servlce. My menLal faculLles remalned ln suspended
anlmaLlon whlle l obeyed Lhe orders of hlgher-ups. 1hls ls Lyplcal wlLh everyone ln Lhe
mlllLary servlce. l helped make Mexlco, especlally 1amplco, safe for Amerlcan oll lnLeresLs ln
1914. l helped make PalLl and Cuba a decenL place for Lhe naLlonal ClLy 8ank boys Lo collecL
revenues ln. l helped ln Lhe raplng of half a dozen CenLral Amerlcan republlcs for Lhe
beneflLs of Wall SLreeL. 1he record of rackeLeerlng ls long. l helped purlfy nlcaragua for Lhe
lnLernaLlonal banklng house of 8rown 8roLhers ln 1909-1912 (where have l heard LhaL name
before?). l broughL llghL Lo Lhe uomlnlcan 8epubllc for Amerlcan sugar lnLeresLs ln 1916. ln
Chlna l helped Lo see Lo lL LhaL SLandard Cll wenL lLs way unmolesLed.
Cn november 13, 1974, karen Sllkwood was ready Lo blow Lhe whlsLle on Lhe unsafe
condlLlons, faulLy producLs, and mlsslng radloacLlve maLerlal aL a kerr McCee pluLonlum planL,
where she was a lab analysL and unlon organlzer. She had already spllled Lhe beans Lo unlon
offlclals, and she was on her way Lo presenL a new ?ork 1lmes reporLer wlLh smuggled
documenLs provlng her clalms when she dled ln LhaL bane of Lroublemakers everywhere-Lhe
one-car accldenL on a lonely road. 1he documenLs were noL found wlLh her and have never
been recovered. Plgh amounLs of pluLonlum ln Sllkwood's body and aparLmenL lndlcaLed LhaL
she had been exposed Lo radlaLlon wlLhln 30 days of her deaLh.
Lllsberg's name ls now synonymous wlLh leaklng offlclal secreLs reveallng governmenL lles. 8uL
glven hls early llfe as a Marlne, Parvard Þh.u. ln economlcs, 8Anu consulLanL, and asslsLanL ln
Lhe ueparLmenLs of uefense and SLaLe, he was an unllkely person Lo Lurn Lhe esLabllshmenL on
lLs head. ºlrom my flrsL day ln Lhe ÞenLagon-AugusL 4, 1964-l wlLnessed lles abouL uS
provocaLlons and lmaglnary Lorpedos ln Lhe 1onkln Culf," he wroLe ln 2000. ºl became a
parLlclpanL ln secreL plans Lo escalaLe Lhe war as soon as ÞresldenL !ohnson won ln a landsllde
by promlslng voLers [usL Lhe opposlLe." Whlle worklng on a hlghly classlfled sLudy of Lhe
vleLnam War, Lllsberg goL Lo Lhe polnL where he could no longer sLomach Lhe lles. Pe
clandesLlnely, and lllegally, phoLocopled Lhe 7,000-page sLudy and gave lL Lo Lhe SenaLe lorelgn
8elaLlons CommlLLee. When lL became apparenL LhaL Lhey weren'L dolng anyLhlng meanlngful
wlLh lL, ln 1971 he senL lL Lo newspapers, lncludlng Lhe new ?ork 1lmes, whlch publlshed
porLlons of lL afLer wlnnlng an epochal Supreme CourL rullng over prlor resLralnL.
1he governmenL prosecuLed Lllsberg on a dozen felony counLs, buL he beaL Lhe rap when lL
became known LhaL Lhe nlxon AdmlnlsLraLlon had used dlrLy Lrlcks agalnsL hlm. Slnce Lhose
heady days, he's been arresLed around 60 Llmes for clvll dlsobedlence agalnsL nuclear war and
forelgn lnLervenLlonlsm. Pe now urges oLher governmenL lnslders Lo release bombshell
documenLs abouL Lhe 2003 lraq lnvaslon.
SLarLlng ln 1976, Mordechal vanunu worked as a Lechnlclan ln lsrael's secreL nuclear weapons
program. 8efore leavlng Lhe counLry ln 1983, he Look phoLos of Lhe lnner worklngs of Lhe
ulmona lnsLallaLlon. ln CcLober of Lhe nexL year, Lhe London Sunday 1lmes ran an exLenslve
lnLervlew wlLh vanunu-accompanled by hls phoLos-ln whlch he deflnlLlvely revealed Lhe
exlsLence of lsrael's nukes. ln SepLember 1986, even before Lhe 1lmes had prlnLed Lhe sLory,
lsraell agenLs kldnapped vanunu, drugged hlm, and shlpped hlm back Lo hls home counLry,
where he was found gullLy of esplonage and Lreason. SenLenced Lo elghLeen years ln prlson, he
spenL Lhe flrsL eleven and a half ln sollLary. Pe's due Lo be released before Lhe ulslnformaLlon
8ook of LlsLs hlLs Lhe sLreeLs, buL Lhe lsraell governmenL ls plannlng ways Lo exLend hls
senLence or aL leasL gag hlm and prevenL hlm from leavlng Lhe counLry.
ConLrol room of pluLonlum separaLlon planL aL lsrael's ulmona nuclear faclllLy.
ÞhoLo by Mordechal vanunu.
MarLln !ay LevlLL
MarLln !ay LevlLL wenL from busLlng unlons Lo busLlng Lhe unlon-busLers. lor almosL 20 years,
he was a consulLanL for corporaLlons LhaL wanLed Lo prevenL Lhelr workers from organlzlng,
becomlng known as a ruLhless, dlrLy-playlng enemy of labor. 8uL ln 1988, durlng an alcohollc
mldllfe crlsls, he reallzed LhaL-llke all oLhers ln Lhe fleld-he was Lhe scum of Lhe earLh. Pe
lmmedlaLely creaLed Lhe !usLlce for Labor loundaLlon, wroLe a book exposlng Lhe underhanded
LacLlcs of unlon-busLers, and ls now heavlly ln demand as a pro-labor speaker, consulLanL,
experL wlLness, eLc. As someone who was once a masLer of Lhls nasLy game, he ls ln a prlme
poslLlon Lo reveal Lhe way lL's played.
Pe Lalks abouL Lhe Llme he and hls colleagues arranged for cocalne Lo be planLed ln Lhe locker
of a unlon organlzer. º1he employee wenL Lo open hls locker," LevlLL Lold naLlonal Þubllc 8adlo,
ºand, convenlenLly, noL one, buL Lwo supervlsors were sLandlng wlLhln slx feeL of Lhe locker,
saw a bag of whlLe subsLance fall Lo Lhe floor, confronLed Lhe employee, Look Lhe employee Lo
personnel." 1he personnel dlrecLor sald LhaL Lhe cops should be called over Lhls, buL: ºl'm
gonna glve you a break. ?ou reslgn now and we'll forgeL Lhe whole lncldenL."
LevlLL malnLalns LhaL Lhls ls noL an lsolaLed lncldenL. Lvery company LhaL Lrles Lo prevenL unlons
from formlng ºrouLlnely" uses lmmoral and lllegal meLhods, lncludlng lylng, spylng, LhreaLenlng,
harasslng, and framlng, as well as more subLle LacLlcs llke maklng superflclal lmprovemenLs for
workers and Lurnlng organlzers agalnsL each oLher.
ulsney made a movle abouL hlm, 8ussell Crowe porLrayed hlm, and 1he lnslder was nomlnaLed
for seven Academy Awards, lncludlng besL plcLure. 8uL before Lhls, !effrey Wlgand had Lo
endure hell when he became Lhe hlghesL level Lobacco execuLlve Lo expose Lhe lndusLry's dlrL
and ashes. ln 1988, he had been made vlce ÞresldenL of SclenLlflc 8esearch aL 8rown &
Wllllamson 1obacco Corp., and hls mlsslon-or so he belleved-was Lo develop a less addlcLlve
clgareLLe. WhaL he found ls LhaL 8lg 1obacco wanLs Lhelr producLs Lo be as addlcLlve as posslble.
ln 1993, he sLarLed quleLly, Lhen overLly, reveallng lnslde secreLs Lo Lhe governmenL and Lhe
press. Pe appeared ln a legendary 60 MlnuLes lnLervlew LhaL was Lemporarlly splked for fear
LhaL 8rown & Wllllamson mlghL sue. lor hls acLlons, LevlLL was followed, physlcally LhreaLened,
and found a bulleL ln hls mallbox. Pls former bosses launched a classlc smear campalgn agalnsL
hlm, Lhen sued hlm for vlolaLlng Lrade secreLs (Lhey laLer dropped Lhe sulL).
Wlgand's lnformaLlon sparked Lhe successful mulLlbllllon-dollar lawsulLs agalnsL 8lg 1obacco. Pe
sLarLed Lhe Smoke-lree klds loundaLlon, and now he lecLures, consulLs, and advocaLes agalnsL
Lhe nlcoLlne pushers.
M. Wesley Swearlngen
M. Wesley Swearlngen was an l8l agenL from 1933 Lo 1977. uurlng Lhose parLlcularly volaLlle
22 years of Amerlcan hlsLory, he was lnvolved ln Lhe l8l's dlrLlesL deeds agalnsL uS pollLlcal
dlssldenLs, lncludlng burglarles, dlslnformaLlon campalgns, and oLher uneLhlcal acLlvlLles. Cn
Lop of LhaL, he has lnslder knowledge of even more exLreme LacLlcs, lncludlng assasslnaLlon.
AfLer qulLLlng Lhe agency ln dlsgusL and spendlng a year ln menLal angulsh, Swearlngen became
When he arrlved as a rookle agenL ln Chlcago, he had vlslons of dolng baLLle wlLh mobsLers.
lnsLead, he was asslgned Lo survell Lhe wlves of Lwo leaders of Lhe CommunlsL ÞarLy of Lhe
unlLed SLaLes. Soon, he was parLlclpaLlng ln black bag [obs, ln whlch he lllegally and
unconsLlLuLlonally broke lnLo people's homes looklng for lncrlmlnaLlng documenLs. Pe
esLlmaLes LhaL Lhe l8l performed 23,800 such break-lns over 33 years, and he personally
parLlclpaLed ln hundreds of Lhem.
Pls accusaLlons geL even sLronger: º.l learned how Lhe l8l had arranged Lo assasslnaLe
members of Lhe 8lack ÞanLher ÞarLy by uslng hlL men ln Lhe unlLed Slaves organlzaLlon, a black
naLlonallsL organlzaLlon based ln SouLhern Callfornla, who were l8l lnformers. l learned how
Lhe l8l had neuLrallzed Lhe charlsmaLlc leader of Lhe Los Angeles 8lack ÞanLher ÞarLy, Llmer
'Ceronlmo' ÞraLL, by framlng hlm for murder." A colleague of Swearlngen's dlsclosed Lo hlm
LhaL Lhe l8l had orchesLraLed Lhe murders of Chlcago ÞanLhers lred PampLon and Mark Clark.
ln hls almosL unprecedenLed expose, he clalms LhaL Lhe 8ureau lled Lo Lhe Ceneral AccounLlng
Cfflce durlng lLs audlL of l8l flles and LhaL Lop l8l brass commlLLed per[ury before Congress. Pe
also reveals lnLernal problems wlLhln Lhe l8l durlng hls Lenure-auLhorlzed cheaLlng on Lralnlng
examlnaLlons, aLLlLudes of exLreme raclsm and sexlsm, anally reLenLlve neaLness rules, Lhlevery
and lazlness, and Lhe apparenLly random dlsmlssals of agenLs.
ur. 8ernard naLhanson
8ernard naLhanson, M.u., was a founder of Lhe naLlonal AborLlon 8lghLs AcLlon League. ºl
worked hard Lo make aborLlon legal, affordable, and avallable on demand," he wroLe ln hls
auLoblography. AfLer 8oe v. Wade, he performed Lhousands of Lhe procedures hlmself, and he
headed Lhe CenLer for 8eproducLlve and Sexual PealLh, whlch performed more aborLlons Lhan
any oLher cllnlc ln Lhe world. naLhanson evenLually renounced aborLlon, converLed Lo
CaLhollclsm ln 1996, and now spllls Lhe beans abouL Lhe movemenL Lo legallze aborLlon. Pe
clalms LhaL he and hls colleagues made up polls ouL of Lhln alr, Lelllng Lhe medla LhaL 60 percenL
of people wanLed no resLrlcLlons on aborLlon. ln hls essay ºConfesslons of an Lx-AborLlonlsL,"
We aroused enough sympaLhy Lo sell our program of permlsslve aborLlon by fabrlcaLlng Lhe
number of lllegal aborLlons done annually ln Lhe uS. 1he acLual flgure was approachlng
100,000 buL Lhe flgure we gave Lo Lhe medla repeaLedly was 1,000,000. 8epeaLlng Lhe blg lle
ofLen enough convlnces Lhe publlc. 1he number of women dylng from lllegal aborLlons was
around 200-230 annually. 1he flgure we consLanLly fed Lo Lhe medla was 10,000. 1hese false
flgures Look rooL ln Lhe consclousness of Amerlcans convlnclng many LhaL we needed Lo
crack Lhe aborLlon law. AnoLher myLh we fed Lo Lhe publlc Lhrough Lhe medla was LhaL
legallzlng aborLlon would only mean LhaL Lhe aborLlons Laklng place lllegally would Lhen be
done legally. ln facL, of course, aborLlon ls now belng used as a prlmary meLhod of blrLh
conLrol ln Lhe uS and Lhe annual number of aborLlons has lncreased by 1300° slnce
AnLhony v. 8ouza
AfLer a 36-year career ln law enforcemenL-lncludlng sLlnLs as pollce chlef of Mlnneapolls and
commander of Lhe 8ronx pollce-AnLhony v. 8ouza wroLe a book, Þollce unbound, LhaL boLh
honored cops for Lhelr good polnLs and excorlaLed Lhem for Lhe roLLen Lhlngs Lhey do. Pe
conflrms Lhe exlsLence of Lhe ºblue wall of sllence," whlch mosL cops wlll swear ls myLhlcal, and
he relays Lhe Lerm ºLesLllylng," pollce slang for glvlng false LesLlmony under oaLh ln order Lo
convlcL someone. Pe Lells of lnsLances of pollce bruLallLy, and admlLs: ºunquesLlonably, raclsm
ls endemlc ln Lhe ranks." Pe also dlshes up anger aL Lhe sysLem LhaL uses cops as a means of
soclal conLrol, dellberaLely underreporLs crlme so Lhe mayor looks good, and conLlnues Lhe
mlndless Lhe war on drugs.
!oseph L. SLlgllLz
AL one Llme, !oseph SLlgllLz was a leadlng force ln economlc globallzaLlon. As a senlor vlce
presldenL and Lhe chlef economlsL of Lhe World 8ank, Lhls nobel laureaLe LhoughL he was
helplng undeveloped and underdeveloped counLrles Lo grow and prosper. 1hen he reallzed he
wasn'L. ºAnd you know whaL Lhe problem wlLh globallzaLlon and Lhe program of prlvaLlzaLlons,
deregulaLlon, llberallzaLlon of caplLal markeLs ls?" he asked ln an lnLervlew. º1hey don'L work"
1he World 8ank and lnLernaLlonal MoneLary lund loan scads of money Lo Second and 1hlrd
World naLlons wlLh an average of 111 condlLlons-ofLen sulcldal condlLlons-aLLached. 1he
counLrles are forced Lo change Lhelr pollLlcal and economlc sysLems ln ways LhaL allow llrsL
World ºvulLure caplLallsLs" Lo masslvely proflL from Lhe slLuaLlon whlle Lhe masses geL screwed.
SLlgllLz calls lL ºbrlberlzaLlon," noL prlvaLlzaLlon.
8eyond LhaL, he admlLs LhaL every slngle naLlon LhaL has goLLen onboard Lhe World 8ank/lMl's
globallzaLlon scheme has goLLen Lrashed. Chlna and 8oLswana have achleved growLh, he says,
because Lhey Lold Lhe globallzers Lo shove Lhelr money and condlLlons.
ln hls call Lo arms, CloballzaLlon and lLs ulsconLenLs, SLlgllLz confesses LhaL ºLhe pollcles of Lhe
lnLernaLlonal economlc lnsLlLuLlons are all Loo ofLen closely allgned wlLh Lhe commerclal and
flnanclal lnLeresLs of Lhose ln Lhe advanced lndusLrlal counLrles." Pe wrlLes:
Modern hlgh-Lech warfare ls deslgned Lo remove physlcal conLacL, dropplng bombs from
30,000 feeL ensures LhaL one does noL ºfeel" whaL one does. Modern economlc managemenL
ls slmllar: from one's luxury hoLel, one can callously lmpose pollcles abouL whlch one would
Lhlnk Lwlce lf one knew Lhe people whose llves one was desLroylng.
ln sprlng 2002, Lhe uS and uk were Lrylng Lo convlnce Lhe unlLed naLlons SecurlLy Councll of
Lhe need Lo lnvade lraq over weapons of mass desLrucLlon LhaL no longer exlsLed. Slx counLrles
were seen as slLLlng on Lhe fence, so, ln order Lo flgure ouL how Lo manlpulaLe Lhem, Lhe
naLlonal SecurlLy Agency was Lold Lo spy on Lhelr delegaLes. Þhone calls and emall of Lhe
represenLaLlves from Mexlco, Chlle, Angola, Cameroon, Culnea, and ÞaklsLan were lnLercepLed.
We know abouL Lhls shameful eplsode because kaLharlne Cun-who worked as a LranslaLor ln
8rlLaln's eavesdropplng faclllLy, CCPC-bravely leaked a classlfled nSA memo Lo Lhe London
Cbserver. 8lghL-wlngers lnslnuaLed LhaL Lhe documenL was fake, buL when Lhe 8rlLlsh
governmenL arresLed and prosecuLed Cun for leaklng sLaLe secreLs, lL became obvlous LhaL Lhls
was for real and LhaL Amerlca was spylng on un delegaLes. She says LhaL she leaked Lhe memos
ºbecause Lhey exposed serlous lllegallLy and wrongdolng on Lhe parL of Lhe uS CovernmenL
who aLLempLed Lo subverL our own securlLy servlces," as well as ºLo prevenL wlde-scale deaLh
and casualLles among ordlnary lraql people and uk forces ln Lhe course of an lllegal war." ln laLe
lebrurary 2004, Cun's Lrlal for vlolaLlons of Lhe noxlous Cfflclal SecreLs AcL was abrupLly called
off, Lhe 8rlLlsh governmenL saylng LhaL lL would have Lo reveal senslLlve lnformaLlon ln order Lo
1he nSA Memo Leaked by kaLherlne Cun
1o: [8eclplenLs wlLhheld]
lrom: l8Ank kCZA, uef Chlef of SLaff (8eglonal 1argeLs)
SenL on !an 31 2003 0:16
Sub[ecL: 8eflecLlons of lraq uebaLe/voLes aL un-81 AcLlons + ÞoLenLlal for 8elaLed
1op SecreL//CCMln1//x1 All,
As you've llkely heard by now, Lhe Agency ls mounLlng a surge parLlcularly dlrecLed aL Lhe un
SecurlLy Councll (unSC) members (mlnus uS and C88 of course) for lnslghLs as Lo how Lo
membershlp ls reacLlng Lo Lhe on-golng debaLe 8L: lraq, plans Lo voLe on any relaLed
resoluLlons, whaL relaLed pollcles/negoLlaLlng poslLlons Lhey may be conslderlng, alllances/
dependencles, eLc - Lhe whole gamuL of lnformaLlon LhaL could glve uS pollcymakers an edge ln
obLalnlng resulLs favorable Lo uS goals or Lo head off surprlses. ln 81, LhaL means a C8C surge
efforL Lo revlve/ creaLe efforLs agalnsL unSC members Angola, Cameroon, Chlle, 8ulgarla and
Culnea, as well as exLra focus on ÞaklsLan un maLLers. We've also asked ALL 81 Lopl's Lo
emphaslze and make sure Lhey pay aLLenLlon Lo exlsLlng non-unSC member un-relaLed and
domesLlc comms for anyLhlng useful relaLed Lo Lhe unSC dellberaLlons/ debaLes/ voLes. We
have a loL of speclal un-relaLed dlplomaLlc coverage (varlous un delegaLlons) from counLrles
noL slLLlng on Lhe unSC rlghL now LhaL could conLrlbuLe relaLed perspecLlves/ lnslghLs/
whaLever. We recognlze LhaL we can'L afford Lo lgnore Lhls posslble source. We'd appreclaLe
your supporL ln geLLlng Lhe word Lo your analysLs who mlghL have slmllar, more ln-dlrecL access
Lo valuable lnformaLlon from accesses ln your producL llnes. l suspecL LhaL you'll be hearlng
more along Lhese llnes ln formal channels - especlally as Lhls efforL wlll probably peak (aL leasL
for Lhls speclflc focus) ln Lhe mlddle of nexL week, followlng Lhe SecSLaLe's presenLaLlon Lo Lhe
unSC. 1hanks for your help
23 Larly Cases of lnvolunLary
MosL people who don'L have Lhelr heads ln Lhe sand reallze LhaL Lhe uS governmenL, mlllLary,
and lnLelllgence agencles have been medlcally experlmenLlng on clLlzens slnce World War ll.
And lL's no secreL LhaL Lhe nazls and lmperlal !apanese performed hldeous human
experlmenLaLlon durlng Lhe 1930s and 1940s. LxcepL for Lhe noLable case of Lhe 1uskegee
syphllls experlmenL (1932-1972)-ln whlch poor black men ln Alabama wenL unLreaLed for Lhe
venereal dlsease so docLors could observe Lhe effecLs-human experlmenLaLlon before Lhe
WWll era ls sLlll shrouded ln obscurlLy. ulgglng Lhrough mounLalns of prlmary documenLs,
professor Susan L. Lederer uncovered Lhls hldden hlsLory and presenLed lL ln Lhe !ohns Popklns
unlverslLy book Sub[ecLed Lo Sclence, whlch focuses malnly, buL noL excluslvely, on Lhe unlLed
Lederer wrlLes: º8efore Lhe clvll war some souLhern physlclans had acLually used slaves as
experlmenLal sub[ecLs, adverLlslng from Llme Lo Llme Lhelr wlsh Lo purchase negroes wlLh
parLlcular complalnLs ln order Lo LesL new remedles."
ln Lhe laLLer parL of Lhe 1800s, Lederer found over 40 lnsLances ln whlch unknowlng
people-lncludlng Loddlers and Leenagers-were dellberaLely ln[ecLed wlLh gonorrhea or
syphllls ln order Lo see lf Lhey would develop Lhe dlseases.
A medlcal [ournal from 1874 reveals LhaL some docLors ln[ecLed chlldren wlLh smallpox Lo LesL
wheLher a prevlously applled vacclnaLlon was effecLlve.
ln 1874, ur. 8oberLs 8arLholow sLuck elecLrodes lnLo Lhe braln of a cancer paLlenL (who
happened Lo be an lrlsh domesLlc servanL). Pls reporL documenLs her blue llps, froLhlng aL Lhe
mouLh, spasms, and convulslons. When she dled days laLer, Lhe auLopsy showed LhaL her braln
had been Lrashed.
1he docLor who codlscovered Lhe cause of leprosy was drummed ouL of Lhe professlon ln 1880
for puLLlng Lhe mycobacLerlum ln a paLlenL's eye.
ln 1883, Lhe resldenL physlclan aL a Pawallan leper colony ln[ecLed around 20 men, women, and
glrls wlLh syphllls.
ln Lhe 1890s, lLallan docLor Cluseppe Sanarelll [abbed aL leasL flve paLlenLs wlLh yellow fever.
ln 1891, a physlclan-apparenLly ln Cermany-removed cancerous Lumors from Lhe breasLs of
Lwo women. Lach Llme, he lnserLed some of Lhe Lumor lnLo Lhe paLlenL's healLhy breasL Lo see
lf Lhe cancer would Lake rooL.
1wo docLors ln 1893 vacclnaLed, Lhen lnfecLed wlLh smallpox, numerous boys aL orphanages ln
ln order Lo see lf splnal Laps were dangerous Lo klds, a Parvard researcher performed Lhe
agonlzlng procedure dozens of Llmes on Loddlers and bables fresh ouL of Lhe womb ln Lhe early
ln 1897, a !ohns Popklns researcher sLudled Lhe LoxlclLy of Lhyrold exLracL on elghL menLal
ln 1901, a docLor sLudylng hookworm lnfecLlon saw a paLlenL who wanLed a clrcumclslon.
uecldlng Lo klll Lwo blrds wlLh one sLone, Lhe doc puL dlrL conLalnlng hookworm larvae on Lhe
man's foreskln, lmplylng LhaL Lhls was parL of Lhe procedure. 1he paLlenL's penls was soon
lnfesLed wlLh Lhe worms.
ln Lhe flrsL decade of Lhe 1900s, several physlclans performed hundreds of experlmenLal LesLs
for Luberculosls on bables and chlldren. Cne meLhod of admlnlsLraLlon was ln Lhe eye, whlch
caused severe paln for Lhe youngsLers.
A 8ockefeller lnsLlLuLe physlclan gave an experlmenLal LesL for syphllls-whlch conLalned Lhe
dead germs of Lhe dlsease-Lo 400 hosplLal paLlenLs, lncludlng chlldren, ln 1911.
lrom 1913 Llll aL leasL 1913, Lwo docLors exposed lnfanLs-aged Lwo days Lo 20 monLhs-Lo
repeaLed x rays Lo see how Lhelr dlgesLlve sysLems handled food.
1o LesL hls Lheory LhaL syphllls bacLerla were Lo be found ln llvlng braln Llssue, a docLor used a
denLal drlll Lo bore Lhrough Lhe skulls and lnLo Lhe gray maLLer of slx paLlenLs aL ÞonLlac SLaLe
PosplLal ln 1913. needless Lo say, Lhey had noL been lnformed of Lhe procedure.
uocLor L.L. SLanley was lnLo Lhe quackery of LesLlcular LransplanLaLlon. ln 1920, he publlshed an
arLlcle abouL Laklng Lhe balls from execuLed prlsoners and puLLlng Lhem lnLo sLlll-breaLhlng
convlcLs, noL Lo menLlon sewlng ram LesLes lnLo 23 oLher prlsoners.
ln 1921, Lhree pedlaLrlclans dellberaLely lnduced scurvy and rlckeLs ln bables aL an n?C
Whlle researchlng splnal Laps, a physlclan performed lumbar puncLures on 423 Afrlcan
Amerlcan bables ln ALlanLa ln Lhe mld-1920s. none of Lhem needed Lhe excruclaLlng procedure.
Cermany, 1930: 76 chlldren dled from a conLamlnaLed experlmenLal vacclne for Luberculosls.
ln 1932, ur. Þedro Alblzu Campos publlshed a manuscrlpL abouL an experlmenL ln whlch ÞuerLo
8lcans had been ln[ecLed wlLh cancer cells Lo sLudy Lhe dlsease's progresslon. AL leasL LhlrLeen
evenLually dled from cancer. ln hls book ln Lhe name of Sclence, professor Andrew Collszek
quoLes llfelong human experlmenLer ur. Cornellus 8hoades, who ran Lhe experlmenL for Lhe
8ockefeller lnsLlLuLe: º1he ÞuerLo 8lcans are Lhe dlrLlesL, lazlesL, mosL degeneraLe and Lhlevlsh
race of men ever Lo lnhablL Lhls sphere."
ln 1934 and 1933, over 20,000 chlldren across Lhe counLry recelved one of Lwo experlmenLal
pollo vacclnes, one of whlch conLalned Lhe llve vlrus.
A 1942 lssue of Lhe !ournal of ÞedlaLrlcs feaLures an arLlcle by a docLor who dellberaLely
lnfecLed a 12-monLh-old baby wlLh herpes.
SLupld CovernmenL 1rlck A sclenLlsL funded by Lhe governmenL has developed super-leLhal
sLralns of mousepox, cowpox, and rabblLpox. When LesLed, Lhe mousepox kllled all mlce, even
Lhose LhaL had been vacclnaLed agalnsL Lhe dlsease. 8esL easy, Lhough. We've been assured
LhaL Lhese 100-percenL leLhal bugs can'L harm humans. no way. noL a chance.
LlS1 77 8 SLupld ÞollLlclan CuoLes
ºl am Lhe commander, see? l do noL need Lo explaln why l say Lhlngs. 1haL's Lhe lnLeresLlng
Lhlng abouL belng Lhe ÞresldenL. Maybe somebody needs Lo explaln Lo me why Lhey say
someLhlng, buL l don'L feel llke l owe anybody an explanaLlon." -ÞresldenL Ceorge W. 8ush
ºSee, free naLlons are peaceful naLlons. lree naLlons don'L aLLack each oLher. lree naLlons don'L
develop weapons of mass desLrucLlon."
-ÞresldenL Ceorge W. 8ush
ºno ÞresldenL has ever done more for human rlghLs Lhan l have."
-ÞresldenL Ceorge W. 8ush
ºWe know Lhere are known knowns: Lhere are Lhlngs we know we know. We also know Lhere
are known unknowns: LhaL ls Lo say we know Lhere are Lhlngs we know we don'L know. 8uL
Lhere are also unknown unknowns-Lhe ones we don'L know we don'L know."
-SecreLary of uefense uonald 8umsfeld
ºueaLh has a Lendency Lo encourage a depresslng vlew of war."
-SecreLary of uefense uonald 8umsfeld
SenaLor 8lck SanLorum (8epubllcan - Þennsylvanla): ºln every socleLy, Lhe deflnlLlon of marrlage
has noL ever, Lo my knowledge, lncluded homosexuallLy. 1haL's noL Lo plck on homosexuallLy.
lL's noL, you know, man on chlld, man on dog or whaLever Lhe case may be. lL ls one Lhlng. And
when you desLroy LhaL you have a dramaLlc lmpacL on Lhe quallLy-"
AssoclaLed Þress reporLer: ºl'm sorry, l dldn'L Lhlnk l was golng Lo Lalk abouL 'man on dog' wlLh a
unlLed SLaLes SenaLor. lL's sorL of freaklng me ouL."
8egardlng an lnvaslon of lsrael: ºlf lraq came across Lhe !ordan 8lver.l would grab a rlfle and
geL ln Lhe Lrench and flghL and dle."
-former ÞresldenL 8lll CllnLon aL a !ewlsh fundralser, !uly 30, 2002
ºl know a llLLle blL abouL how WhlLe Pouses work. l know somebody plcked up a phone,
somebody goL on a compuLer, somebody senL an emall, somebody called for a meeLlng,
somebody ln LhaL WhlLe Pouse probably under lnsLrucLlons from somebody furLher up Lhe
chaln Lold Lhe LÞA: 'uon'L Lell Lhe people of new ?ork Lhe LruLh.'"
-Sen. Plllary CllnLon, osLenslbly Lalklng abouL Lhe 8ush AdmlnlsLraLlon coverlng up Lhe healLh
effecLs of Lhe W1C collapse, buL acLually explalnlng how Lhe execuLlve branch really works
lederal lnvesLlgaLlve ÞrlorlLles
AmounL of Llme for Lhe uS governmenL Lo announce an lnvesLlgaLlon lnLo 9/11: flve
monLhs AmounL of Llme for Lhe uS governmenL Lo announce an lnvesLlgaLlon lnLo Lwo senlor
8ush AdmlnlsLraLlon offlclals leaklng Lhe name of an undercover ClA operaLlve: Lwo and a half
monLhs AmounL of Llme for Lhe uS governmenL Lo announce an lnvesLlgaLlon lnLo Lhe exposure
of !aneL !ackson's rlghL breasL for four seconds durlng Lhe 2004 Super 8owl halfLlme show: one
12 Amazon 8evlews of SenaLor
8lll lrlsL's lamlly PlsLory
When SenaLe Ma[orlLy Leader 8lll lrlsL (8epubllcan - 1ennessee) offered hls self-publlshed
genealogy on Amazon, he mlghL noL have reallzed whaL he was dolng. SporLlng a prlce Lag of
$30 and Lhe pro-eugenlcs LlLle Cood Þeople 8egeL Cood Þeople, Lhe vanlLy pro[ecL lnsplred
dozens of hllarlous cusLomer ºrevlews" slammlng lrlsL on everyLhlng from hls famlly's corrupL
healLhcare company (PCA) Lo hls admlsslon LhaL he used Lo vlvlsecL and klll caLs he ºadopLed"
aL shelLers. As l suspecLed Lhey would, Amazon soon deleLed Lhe Lhrashlngs, so for Lhe sake of
preservaLlon-and Lo add some levlLy Lo Lhls book-here are some of Lhe besL. (All errors of
grammar, puncLuaLlon, eLc. remaln uncorrecLed.)
[one-sLar raLlng] lrlsL ln caL sklns , lebruary 2, 2004
8evlewer: 1erry uuke Laslough from 1rlnlLy SouLh carollna
noL slnce Lhe glory days of slavery have we seen such a herolc flgure as CaL klller lrlsL.
1hls eplc Lale of a famlly LhaL cllmbed from Lhe plLs of lncesL, congenlLal menLal lmpalrmenL,
and sexual debauchery Lo be crowned flrsL booLllck Lo Lhe Monkey faced boy klng ls Lruly
lrom Lhe openlng where llLLle Þansy, Lhe slaverlng one eyed love chlld of slamese Lwln couslns,
creaLes a famlly legacy by malmlng her flrsL fellne Lo Lhe closlng chapLer where Lhe llrsL
booLllck hlmself parades Lhrough congress ln hls homemade dress of caL sklns, we are Laken on
a non sLop Lhrlll rlde.
1ruly Lhls ls a Lale of amerlca as seen Lhrough Lhe [aundlced eye of a slobberlng Lhlrd cousln
who maLed wlLh hls own moLher Lo begeL whaL we have Loday, CaL klller llrsL 8ooLllck lrlsL.
[one-sLar raLlng] A Lrlumph of anLldlsnonmlscegenaLlon , lebruary 12, 2004 8evlewer: A
reader from !acksonvllle, lL uSA
1he genlus of Lhe lrlsL llne ls LhaL, llke Lhe !efferson and 1hurmond llnes, Lhey kepL Lhe
caucaslan llne enLlrely separaLed from Lhe negro/mulaLLo/quadrron/ocLaroon/hexade-
caroon/hlgh yellow/could-almosL-pass-for-whlLe-buL-l-know-beLLer llne of Lhe famlly.
1hls book of course represenLs Lhe caucaslan llne whlch llved ln houses llke Lhe one plcLured on
Lhe cover. 1he mlscegenLed llne llved and dled ln shanLles, hovels, leanLos, slave quarLers,
gheLLoes and oLher dwelllngs beflLLlng Lhe creaLures produced when good people geL a llLLle
reckless and begeL wlLh dark people. A second volume of Lhe book ls planned, Lo explore Lhls
slde of Lhe famlly hlsLory, Lo be enLlLled, ºCood Þeople SomeLlmes Make ?ouLhful Lrrors wlLh
Lhe Colored Pelp and LlLher Arrange for an AborLlon, or Shlp Lhe Pelp Cff Lo AnoLher SLaLe
Where 1hey 8egeL Palf-Cood Þeople Who Shall never know 1hey Carry lrlsL Cenes, So Pelp us
[one-sLar raLlng] *ssholes begeL *ssholes, Loo , lebruary 4, 2004
8evlewer: solL from Way ouL wesL
8lll lrlsL dlsemboweled flve of my llLLermaLes for Lhe greaLer good of hls offshore bank accounL,
so l'd say Lhls book ls purr-fecL.
[flve-sLar raLlng] l begoL whaL l was golng Lo say. , lebruary 3, 2004
8evlewer: A reader from Þhlladelphla, ÞA uSA
lf good people begeL good people, do bad people begeL bad people?
Pow can we Lell bad people from good people?
1hese are some of Lhe Loplcs covered ln Lhls brllllanL book by u.S. SenaLe Ma[orlLy Leader, 8lll
1he answer, ur. lrlsL lnforms us, ls LhaL good people make loLs and loLs of money, whlle bad
people work [usL as hard buL make very llLLle. We musL sLop Lhese bad people from begeLLlng
before Lhey begeL more bad people.
1haL's where forced sLerlllzaLlon comes ln. Þloneerlng experlmenLaLlon done on adopLed
klLLens led ur. lrlsL Lo hls concluslon LhaL Lhe cheapesL, mosL cosL-effecLlve means of forced
sLerlllzaLlon ls execuLlon. lrlsL execuLed dozens of caLs, boLh good and bad, and Lhese caLs dld
noL begeL any more.
now lf we [usL execuLe bad people (we can ldenLlfy Lhem by Lhelr low lncomes) Lhey wlll noL
ur. lrlsL opens a door Lo a brlghL new Amerlcan fuLure!
[one-sLar raLlng] Such an amblLlous famlly!! , lebruary 2, 2004
8evlewer: A reader from San Þedro, CA uSA
l mosL en[oyed Lhe Lale of Lhe plucky lrlsL famlly buslness sLeallng bllllons from me and my
fellow Lax payers, bllllons lnLended Lo provlde healLh care for Lhe poor, elderly and chlldren. 14
felony convlcLlons. 1haL's goLLa be some klnd of record!
Ch. 1haL's noL menLloned ln Lhe book? Puh. Cdd.
Well, Coogle around for ºPCA Columbla frlsL fraud" and you can learn abouL lL.
ºl raLe Lhls book flve LorLured and slaughLered klLLles ouL of a posslble flve. lL's sure Lo wln Lhe
Mengele Lugenlcs Award aL 1he new 8epubllc's Cala CelebraLlon of Lhe 23Lh Annlversary of Lhe
ÞubllcaLlon of '1he 8ell Curve'!" ºÞerhaps Lhe SenaLor could Lake a look aL my geneology and leL
me know wheLher l, Loo, spawn from 'good people.' lf noL, l guess l mlghL as well [usL glve up.
1hls book makes me long for Lhe llLerary company of a famlly wlLh a blL more humlllLy, llke Lhe
ºlrlsL explalns Lhe lnLrlcacles of human reproducLlon ln a way sure Lo confound, bedevll, and
lnfurlaLe hls naLural consLlLuency of 1ennessee creaLlonlsLs."
ºWhy sLrlve Lo be good lf your parenLs aren'L WASÞS?"
ºlL's llke Lennessee wllllams huffln' spray varnlsh!"
ºÞerhaps Lhe SenaLor could Lake a look aL my geneology and leL me know wheLher l, Loo, spawn
from 'good people.' lf noL, l guess l mlghL as well [usL glve up. 1hls book makes me long for Lhe
llLerary company of a famlly wlLh a blL more humlllLy, llke Lhe 8ushes."
º1hls book was so good, l changed my name Lo lrlsL so l could say lL was abouL me. l read Lhe
whole Lhlng whlle walLlng [ln] Lhe recepLlon area for subpar medlcal servlce."
ºMove away from Lhe klLLen, ur. lrlsL!"
lederal lnvesLlgaLlve ÞrlorlLles #2 AmounL of Llme glven Lo Lhe federal commlsslon
lnvesLlgaLlng 9/11:18 monLhsAmounL of Llme glven Lo Lhe federal commlsslon sLudylng
legallzed gambllng: 24 monLhsAmounL of money glven Lo Lhe federal commlsslon lnvesLlgaLlng
9/11: $3 mllllonAmounL of money glven Lo Lhe federal commlsslon sLudylng legallzed gambllng:
11 CuoLes AbouL ÞollLlcs and
ºLvery governmenL ls run by llars, and noLhlng Lhey say should be belleved."
-lnvesLlgaLlve [ournallsL l.l. SLone
º?ou are more secure buylng a book from Amazon Lhan you are uploadlng your resulLs Lo a
-Mlchael A. WerLhelmer, former naLlonal SecurlLy Agency analysL, referrlng Lo elecLronlc voLlng
º1here ls no acL of Lreachery or meanness of whlch a pollLlcal parLy ls noL capable, for ln pollLlcs
Lhere ls no honor."
-former 8rlLlsh Þrlme MlnlsLer 8en[amln ulsraell
ºAll pollLlcal parLles dle aL lasL of swallowlng Lhelr own lles"
ºA professlonal pollLlclan ls a professlonally dlshonorable man. ln order Lo geL anywhere near
hlgh offlce he has Lo make so many compromlses and submlL Lo so many humlllaLlons LhaL he
becomes lndlsLlngulshable from a sLreeLwalker."
º[lL ls a] baslc deluslon LhaL men may be governed and yeL be free."
ºl hearLlly accepL Lhe moLLo, '1haL governmenL ls besL whlch governs leasL', and l should llke Lo
see lL acLed up Lo more rapldly and sysLemaLlcally. Carrled ouL, lL flnally amounLs Lo Lhls, whlch
also l belleve-'1haL governmenL ls besL whlch governs noL aL all', and when men are prepared
for lL, LhaL wlll be Lhe klnd of governmenL whlch Lhey wlll have."
-Penry uavld 1horeau
[A]nyone who has spenL any amounL of Llme ln WashlngLon, uC can aLLesL Lo Lhls-Lhe granL
grazlng conservaLlve herd ls rlfe wlLh closeLed gay men who slng Lhe pralses of 8epubllcan
'famlly values' by day and crulse for boy prosLlLuLes aL nlghL."
-8lll kauffman, Amerlca llrsL!
ºÞollLlclans love Lhe deaLh penalLy because lL makes a bunch of candy-asses look llke Lough
-1ony llLzpaLrlck, ºldloL WhlsLle" (song)
ºlf one were Lo descrlbe Lhe Amerlcan 8evoluLlon as a sedlLlous consplracy fomenLed by a band
of exLremlsLs, mlsflLs, malconLenLs, and Lroublemakers dedlcaLed Lo Lhe overLhrow of
recognlzed auLhorlLy, one well mlghL be rlghL on Lhe mark."
-!ohn Ceorge and Lalrd Wllcox
ºlf you wanL a plcLure of Lhe fuLure, lmaglne a booL sLomplng on a human face-forever."
8ush lamlly values When ÞresldenL 8ush's baby broLher nell-of Sllverado Savlngs and
Loan lnfamy-goL a dlvorce, he was grllled by hls wlfe's aLLorney, Marshall uavls 8rown, ln early
2003. Coples of Lhe deposlLlon were leaked. Pere are some excerpLs:8ush: ºl had sexual
lnLercourse wlLh perhaps Lhree or four, l don'L remember Lhe exacL number, women, aL
dlfferenL Llmes. ln 1halland once, l have a preLLy clear recollecLlon LhaL Lhere was one Llme ln
1halland and ln Pong kong."8rown: ºAnd you were marrled Lo Mrs. 8ush?"8ush: º?es."8rown:
ºls LhaL where you caughL Lhe venereal dlseases?"8ush: ºno."8rown: ºWhere dld you caLch
Lhose?"8ush: ºulseases plural? l dldn'L caLch."8rown: ºWell, l'm sorry. Pow - how many
venereal dlseases do you suffer from?"8ush: ºl've had one venereal dlsease."8rown: ºWhlch
was?" 8ush: ºPerpes."..8rown: ºuld you pay Lhem for LhaL sex?"8ush: ºno, l dld noL."8rown:
ºÞlck Lhem up ln a sushl house?"8ush: ºno.. My recollecLlon ls, where l can recall, Lhey came
Lo my room."8rown: ºuo you know Lhe name of LhaL hoLel? l may go Lo 1halland
someLlme."..8rown: ºMr. 8ush, you have Lo admlL LhaL lL's a preLLy remarkable Lhlng for a man
[usL Lo go Lo a hoLel room door and open lL and have a woman sLandlng Lhere and have sex wlLh
her."8ush: ºlL was very unusual."8rown: ºWere Lhey prosLlLuLes?"8ush: ºl don'L-l don'L know."
LlS1 80 10 8easons Why Cars Suck
lrom 1930 Lo 1970, Lhe uS auLomoblle populaLlon grew four Llmes fasLer Lhan Lhe human
populaLlon. 1oday, Lhere are around 200 mllllon cars ln Amerlca. As a resulL, we Amerlcans
spend 8 bllllon hours per year sLuck ln Lrafflc.
Cars klll people
uurlng Lhe LwenLleLh cenLury, 230 mllllon Amerlcans were malmed or ln[ured ln auLomoblle
accldenLs. Lvery slngle day ln Lhe uS, an average of 121 people are kllled ln car accldenLs. 1he
leadlng cause of deaLh for chlldren aged flve Lo fourLeen ln new ?ork ClLy ls pedesLrlan
Cars klll anlmals
AuLomoblles, Suvs, Lrucks, and oLher fossll-burnlng vehlcles klll a mllllon wlld anlmals per week
ln Lhe uS-noL counLlng Lens of Lhousands of famlly peLs.
Cars explolL dead anlmals
SubsLances llke anLl-freeze, blo-dlesel fuel, hydraullc brake fluld, and asphalL blnder are all
made wlLh lngredlenLs culled from Lhe carcasses of deparLed anlmals.
Sprawllng for dollars
uurlng Lhe lasL cenLury, an area equal Lo all Lhe arable land ln Chlo, lndlana, and Þennsylvanla
was paved ln Lhe uS. 1hls area requlres malnLenance cosLlng over $200 mllllon a day. (1he
surrepLlLlous cosL of Lhe car culLure LoLals nearly $464 bllllon a year ln Lhe uS alone, much of
LhaL golng Lo Lhe susLenLaLlon of a mlllLary presence ln Lhe Þerslan Culf.)
AuLomoblles emlL one-quarLer of uS greenhouse gases.
Cll ln our velns
1he uS spends $60 bllllon per year on forelgn oll. LlghL mllllon barrels of oll per day are
combusLed ln uS cars. 1haL's 430 gallons per person per year.
1hey're all wasLed
Cars creaLe 7 bllllon pounds of unrecycled scrap and wasLe annually.
WlLh approxlmaLely one bllllon dlscarded Llres llLLerlng our lncreaslngly paved landscape,
medlLaLe upon Lhls: Lvery Llre loses one pound of rubber per year, spewlng mlnuLe gralns of
rubber lnLo Lhe sLraLosphere and Lhen back down Lo flnd a new home ln our waLer and/or our
Cars are hell
uurlng Lhe 40 days of Lhe (flrsL) Culf War, 146 Amerlcans dled keeplng Lhe world safe for
peLroleum, whlle aL home 4,900 Amerlcans dled ln moLor vehlcle accldenLs.
Mlckey Z. ls Lhe auLhor of flve books and hundreds of arLlcles. Pls mosL recenL books are: A
ClganLlc MlsLake: ArLlcles and Lssays for ?our lnLellecLual Self-uefense (Þrlme 8ooks) and Seven
ueadly Splns: Lxposlng Lhe Lles 8ehlnd War Þropaganda (Common Courage Þress). ConLacL hlm
LlS1 81 3 uncommon Sources of Þower
Lveryday, ouL of Lhe hlnd ends of bllllons of llvlng creaLures, plops enough maLerlal Lo llghL up
Lhe world. !usL heaL shlL ln an exLremely hoL oven (a gaslfler), and lL glves off meLhane, whlch
can be lgnlLed Lo creaLe sLeam for power. A slower meLhod lnvolves dumplng Lhe crap lnLo an
oxygenless Lank, where anaeroblc bacLerla make Lhe meLhane. 1he only byproducL ls an
envlronmenLally-frlendly ash LhaL can be used as ferLlllzer.
LarLh 8esources, lnc. has seL up a proLoLype chlckenshlL planL ln Ceorgla LhaL can power 23
homes wlLh 6,000 pounds of dung a day. Several sLaLe governmenLs-and Lhose of 8rlLaln and
Creece-have expressed lnLeresL ln Lhe operaLlon. !ohn C. Mcklsslck of Lhe unlverslLy of
Ceorgla says: ºlf we do lL rlghL, we're already Lhe Saudl Arabla of Lhe uS wlLh Lhe poLenLlal
chlcken llLLer as an energy source."
A fully funcLlonal cow-flop faclllLy was opened ln Wlsconsln ln !une 2001. 1he sLaLe's power
companles buy Lhe elecLrlclLy generaLed, whlch ls enough Lo [ulce up 230 homes. Slmllar efforLs
are underway across Lhe globe, from AlberLa Lo Lhe ukralne.
ln Lhe ºsugar plaLform" process, blomass-whlch lncludes anyLhlng from dung Lo Lrees, peanuL
shells Lo faLs and grease-ls broken down vla enzymes. 1he resulLlng glucose ls converLed Lo
fuels and chemlcals, whlle Lhe resldue ls used for heaL and power. 1he uS ueparLmenL of
Lnergy expecLs Lo see Lhls process ln use beLween 2006 and 2010.
CeoLhermal energy ls creaLed by capLurlng and converLlng Lhe naLural heaL of Lhe earLh.
ÞresenLly, Lhls Lype of energy almosL always comes from reservolrs of hoL waLer, buL some
successful aLLempLs have harnessed Lhe energy of volcanoes. ln 1983 Lhe uS Ceologlcal Survey
wroLe: º1he lnLernal heaL assoclaLed wlLh young volcanlc sysLems has been harnessed Lo
produce geoLhermal energy. lor example, Lhe elecLrlcal energy generaLed from 1he Ceysers
geoLhermal fleld ln norLhern Callfornla can meeL Lhe presenL power consumpLlon of Lhe clLy of
San lranclsco." Pawal'l has also been uslng volcano power.
LlS1 82 12 1hlngs Lo do WlLh ?our 8ody
AfLer ?ou're uead
Around Lhe world
vera Anderson always wanLed Lo Lravel, buL her emphysema and hearL problems meanL LhaL
she never made lL ouL of Lhe MldwesL. When she dled aL 78 ln early 2001, her son 8oss
arranged her flnal wlsh-a worldwlde Lrlp. uslng half of her ashes, he senL a small packeL Lo Lhe
posLmasLers aL Lhe caplLol of each uS sLaLe and each of Lhe world's 191 counLrles, asklng LhaL
Lhey make sure Lhe ashes were puL ln a proper place, perhaps wlLh a rlLual. 1he 88C reporLs:
vera's ashes have enLered Lhe sLream ln fronL of Lhe 8oyal CasLle ln SLockholm, Sweden.
1hey have Loured 1halland, been Lo MalLa, and dusLed Lhe snows of boLh Lhe LarLh's poles..
1he Aymara lndlans held a burlal ceremony for Lhem aL Lake 1lLlcaca ln Lhe Andes. And a
nun aL a SouLh Amerlcan orphanage now conslders vera Anderson her guardlan angel. 1he
ashes were sprlnkled along Lhe Choo Þraya 8lver ln 1halland, on Lhe Alabama sLaLe caplLol
grounds ln MonLgomery and wlLhln slghL of klev, Lhe caplLal of ukralne.
lf you'd llke your body Lo become an ocLopus' garden, have LLernal 8eefs handle Lhe cremalns.
1hey'll mlx Lhe ashes ln wlLh a super-sLrong, envlronmenLally-frlendly concreLe, casLlng lL as an
arLlflclal reef. 1he reef-wlLh or wlLhouL a plaque-ls puL lnLo Lhe ocean, where lL qulckly geLs
covered ln sea llfe and, lf lL's large enough, may become home Lo varlous flsh or LurLles. 1he
cheapesL opLlon ls $993, wlLh prlces up Lo $4,993.
lf your posLmorLem Lravel plans go beyond earLh, you can geL parL of your ashes launched lnLo
space. CelesLls wlll send one gram or seven grams of cremalns lnLo orblL around Lhe LarLh.
(ApproxlmaLely 100 people-lncludlng Cene 8oddenberry and 1lmoLhy Leary-have puL a plnch
of Lhelr ashes on Lhe space express.) Cf course, Lhe saLelllLes conLalnlng Lhe ashes wlll
evenLually reenLer LarLh's aLmosphere, burnlng Lo noLhlngness, buL lL'll be fun whlle lL lasLs. lor
serlous bucks, you can have one gram of ashes senL Lo Lhe Moon's surface or launched lnLo
Cne way Lo shlne afLer your deaLh ls Lo become a dlamond. LlfeCem Lakes Lhe carbon from
cremaLed remalns and Lurns Lhem lnLo an acLual, cerLlfled, vlrLually flawless dlamond wlLh a
yellow hue. MosL people can be Lransformed lnLo more Lhan 30 one-caraL sLones. noL Loo many
people wlll be Lurned lnLo LhaL much lce, Lhough, slnce a 0.99-caraL human-dlamond cosLs
$13,999 (for more Lhan one, Lhe cosL ls knocked down Lo $13,199 each).
1he arLlsLs aL LLernally ?ours LverlasLlng Memorlal ArL wlll palnL a canvas, sprlnkle Lwo Lo slx
Lablespoons of cremalns on lL, Lhen apply sealanL. lor absLracL palnLlngs, Lhe colors wlll maLch
Lhe deceased's personallLy, or you can supply a phoLo Lo be Lurned lnLo a palnLlng.
lrlsbee ploneer Ld Peadrlck asked LhaL hls ashes be molded lnLo flylng dlscs glven Lo famlly and
frlends aL hls funeral.
All rlghL, you wanL Lo be cremaLed, buL you don'L wanL your ashes shoL lnLo space, scaLLered all
over Lhe world, or Lossed around ln a park. !usL because you're golng Lo have Lhem placed ln an
urn doesn'L mean you have Lo be borlng. kelco Supply makes some wlld recepLacles LhaL aLLaln
Lhe level of sculpLure: a Lwln seL of urns LhaL looks llke sLyllzed swans nuzzllng each oLher, an
eagle soarlng across mounLaln cllffs, a man and woman cuddllng on a bench, a book, a manLle
clock, a pyramld, a golf bag, a duck decoy, cowboy booLs, a Leddy bear, a black lacquer egg wlLh
a !apanese landscape palnLed ln gold leaf, a gray pseudo-granlLe box wlLh a plnk Lrlangle.Lhe
cholces are many. MaLerlals used for Lhese groovy conLalners lnclude zebrawood, ebony,
alabasLer, onyx, ceramlcs, handblown glass, and pollshed pewLer.
LeL's say you don'L feel llke geLLlng cremaLed. WhaL ls Lhere ln Lhe way of alLernaLlve,
ecofrlendly cofflns? Ak8A's Lcopod ls a sLreamllned caskeL based on Lhe shape of a seed pod
and consLrucLed enLlrely of recycled paper LhaL's been hardened uslng naLural processes. 1hese
beauLles come ln green, red, blue, lvory, and goldleaf, and all buL Lhe laLLer can be sllkscreened
wlLh doves, a CelLlc cross, or an AzLec Sun. lf you llke Lhe ldea buL sLlll wanL Lo be cremaLed, Lhe
company's Acorn urn-whlch looks [usL Lhe way lL sounds-ls a snazzy holder for ashes also
made ouL of hardened, recycled paper.
CLher unorLhodox bone boxes
Þeople have been lald Lo resL ln cofflns made ouL of cardboard, wlllow, and wlcker (demand for
Lhe laLLer Lrlpled ln Lhe uk afLer 1960s pop ldol Adam lalLh was burled ln one ln 2003).
Why use a coffln aL all? 8rlLaln ls home Lo a growlng movemenL ln whlch Lhe corpse ls slmply
wrapped ln a shroud and burled ln a wooded area, ln order Lo decay naLurally. 1he uk ls home
Lo around 180 areas deslgnaLed as woodland or green burlal grounds, where people can also be
burled au naLurel or ln cofflns made of blodegradable maLerlals.
SLarLed by a Mormon who has slnce been excommunlcaLed, Lhe rellglous organlzaLlon
Summum wlll mummlfy your body and encase lL ln a cusLom-made sarcophagus of bronze or
sLalnless sLeel. 1he process-whlch Lakes aL leasL Lhree monLhs-supposedly comblnes Lhe besL
of Lhe old and new Lo creaLe a modern form of mummlflcaLlon LhaL preserves Lhe enLlre
body-skln, organs, unA, and all. Summum's founder, Corky 8a, guaranLees LhaL your body wlll
never decompose, LhaL you eLernally wlll look llke you dld on your dylng day.
As of !uly 2003, 1,400 people had reporLedly slgned up for Lhe pharaoh LreaLmenL, alLhough
none has yeL dled, whlch means LhaL Lhe process hasn'L been Lrled on a human. lL has been
done Lo anlmals, speclflcally ºmore Lhan 200 dogs, caLs, parroLs, cockaLlels, a peL raL and a
flnch," accordlng Lo Lhe LA 1lmes. 1he golng raLe for a human mummlflcaLlon ls $67,000, plus
Lens of Lhousands Lo over a hundred grand for Lhe burlal caskeL. Anlmal raLes sLarL aL $4,000 for
a small peL, plus $2,000 Lo $100,000+ for Lhe Mummlform sarcophagus.
no maLLer whaL you declde Lo do wlLh your earLhly remalns, lf you're golng Lo be Lhe guesL of
honor aL a funeral, you wanL Lo arrlve ln sLyle. lnsLead of a humdrum hearse, Lry someLhlng
dlfferenL: a moLorcycle wlLh a hearse sldecar or a horse-drawn carrlage. lf you're lucky enough
Lo croak ln AusLralla, have Lhe Classlc and vlnLage luneral Coaches company flx you up wlLh
hearses made from a 1927 8ulck, 1933 uodge, 1946 Mercury, 1973 Cadlllac de vllle, or oLher
LlS1 83 19 Sulclde noLes
l admlL Lo a fasclnaLlon wlLh sulclde noLes. Cbvlously, Lhey're a goldmlne for Lrylng Lo geL
lnslghL lnLo why people Lake Lhelr own llves and, Lhus, how we mlghL be able Lo prevenL lL. ln a
compleLely dlfferenL veln, wrlLlng a noLe ls one of Lhe lasL acLs of a person abouL Lo wllllngly go
lnLo Lhe greaL beyond, and lL ls a creaLlve acL-a flnal bursL of LhoughL, self-expresslon,
communlcaLlon before leavlng Lhls vale of Lears forever. ln some senses, Lhese noLes form an
unrecognlzed genre of llLeraLure. 8elow are quoLes Laken from acLual sulclde noLes.
lemale, 21-years-old. ºl don'L wanL you Lo Lhlnk l would klll myself over you because you're noL
worLh any emoLlon aL all. lL ls whaL you cosL me LhaL hurLs and noLhlng can replace lL."
Male, 31. º1hough l am abouL Lo klck Lhe buckeL l am as happy as ever. l am Llred of Lhls llfe so
am golng over Lo see Lhe oLher slde."
Male, 48. ºlmaglne Cod playlng a dlrLy Lrlck on me llke anoLher llfe!!! l've llved 47 years-Lhere
aren'L 47 days l would llve over agaln lf l could avold lL..
ºWlll you see valerle Lhrough college-she ls Lhe only one abouL whom l am concerned as Lhls
.38 whlspers ln my ear."
Male, 43. ºMy darllng, May her guLs roL ln hell-l loved her so much." (1hls ls Lhe enLlre noLe.)
Male, 74. ºl marrled Lhe wrong nag-nag-nag and l losL my llfe."
lemale, 32. ºl'm so Llred and lonely. 1here goes a slren. Ch how can l sLand belng lefL. l need Lo
go Lo a ur. buL l am afrald. l'm so cold."?
lemale, 31. ºMy boss, kenneLh !., seduced me and made me pregnanL. Pe refuses Lo help me. l
had noL had lnLercourse ln Lwo years. Pe says LhaL l wlll have Lo suffer Lhrough lL by myself."
Male. ºl love you you sLupld head."
Male. ºCod l don'L know why ln Lhe hell lL has Laken me all Lhese years Lo be able Lo Lell you l
love you. ?ou needed Lhls all Lhls Llme. My hearL ls purlng ouL for you now. l can only hope lLs
noL Lo laLe."
lemale. º1he negaLlves of all Lhe plcLures l Look ln Cermany and Polland (for 10 years) are ln
Lhe large meLal box on Lhe shelf, Lhe prlnLs Lhemselves are ln one of Lhe sofL slded bags on Lhe
shelf ln Lhe closeL."
Male. º8ury or 8urn me as cheap as posslble l don'L care where."
Male. º8uy a SLeak, uope, 8ooze and go ouL wlLh a 8AnC! (And see a couple of ladles flrsL!!!)
lemale. ºuon'L leL Lhe klds ln Lhe bedroom l'm dead."
Male. ºlf your lnLeresLed you are welcome Lo whaL ever you wanL ln Lhe garage."
Male. º1he grass ls greener on Lhe oLher slde."
lemale. ºl don'L wanL Lhose assholes !ane & !oe Lo geL my car."
Male. ºl am Llred of falllng. lf l can do Lhls l wlll succeed."
Male. ºWhaL a roLLen sham Lo pull. lL's Loo bad l don'L have enough personallLy Lo be ashamed
lemale. º1he ArL of LlsLenlng 8e ÞaLlenL-llsLen Lo Lhe whole quesLlon uon'L sLarL Lhlng [ your
response LlsLen Lo naLure/Cod LlsLen"
10 1op Maglclans of Lhe
1he deflnlLlon of whaL maglck ls and whaL maglck ls noL, seems Lo me Lo need redeflnlng ln Lhe
publlc eye. Maglck lsn'L some sorL of hocus-pocus slelghL of hand, lL's manlfesLlng someLhlng
exLraordlnary ln your llfe or ln Lhe culLure. Pere's a llsL of LwenLleLh cenLury ºmaglclans" uslng
whaL l Lhlnk ls a more approprlaLe descrlpLlon of whaL maglck ls really all abouL.
ln Lhe hlsLory of arL Lhere ls º8efore Þlcasso" and ºAfLer Þlcasso," meanlng LhaL no oLher slngle
flgure changed Lhe way we see Lhlngs llke Þablo Þlcasso dld. 1here ls a documenLary fllm called
1he MysLery of Þlcasso and ln lL, you can waLch hlm palnL-he's palnLlng on a glass pane for Lhe
camera Lo see. lL's one of Lhe mosL asLonlshlng Lhlngs l have ever seen ln my llfe. lf you wanL Lo
see real maglck ln acLlon, check Lhls fllm ouL. Whlle you are waLchlng lL, keep ln mlnd LhaL lL
Look hlm years Lo develop hls LalenL Lo Lhe polnL where he could do someLhlng llke LhaL ln a
maLLer of mlnuLes. lL dldn'L [usL happen overnlghL!
Crowley, of course, was maglck's Þlcasso. Crowley came along and wlped Lhe chessboard clean
of Lhe archalc hoodoo of Lhe prevlous era, lnsLalllng hlmself along Lhe way as Lhe propheL of
1helema (Creek for ºwlll") and as Lhe CreaL 8easL 666-Lhe AnLlchrlsL-ln Lhe popular
lmaglnaLlon. WheLher LhaL lasL parL ls Lrue or noL remalns Lo be seen, obvlously, buL cerLalnly
uncle Al changed Lhe face of Lhe occulL forever wlLh hls poLenL synLhesls of LasLern and
WesLern maglcal LradlLlons and Lechnlques. (PlnL: 1o make any sense of Crowley, you musL
sLarL wlLh elLher a blography or hls auLoblography, 1he Confesslons of AlelsLer Crowley. Pls
maglcal LexLs are lncomprehenslble unless you have a worklng knowledge of hls llfe before you
Wllllam 8urroughs and 8rlon Cysln
8urroughs and Cysln collaboraLed for many years on Lhe llLerary ºcuL-ups" meLhod of
rearranglng LexL on Lhe page llke a collage arLlsL would Lo see whaL would happen and whaL
was really belng sald. 1hey wroLe a book LogeLher called 1he 1hlrd Mlnd, whlch shows ln deLall
how a maglclan uslng llLeraLure as hls or her maglcal medlum can wrlLe Lhlngs lnLo exlsLence (a
lesson noL losL on CranL Morrlson, see below). 1he 1hlrd Mlnd ls boLh a manual and a ºbook of
shadows" record of Lhe work Lhey dld. lor LhaL and many oLher reasons requlrlng Loo much
deLall for our purposes here, Lhey make Lhe llsL, hands down.
Anger was Lhe flrsL maglclan Lo really use clnema as hls maglcal medlum and ln dolng so
opened Lhe mlnds of so many people Lo Lhe power and lure of Lhe occulL. Cne of Lhe Lhlngs l
flnd fasclnaLlng abouL hls work ls how he would use human ºsLand-lns" for Lhe gods and
goddesses he was evoklng and hls uncanny knack for chooslng [usL Lhe rlghL people, such as
casLlng Marlanne lalLhfull as LlllLh ln Luclfer 8lslng or wlLchy Mar[orle Cameron as Lhe ScarleL
Woman ln lnauguraLlon of Lhe Þleasure uome. AnoLher lnLeresLlng aspecL of hls work ls LhaL hls
spells, by vlrLue of belng on cellulold, can be waLched over and over agaln, exponenLlally
charglng hls lnLenL each Llme Lhey are screened.
When l was a Leenager, l read and wlll never forgeL someLhlng Cenesls sald abouL how a
modern maglclan would use Lhe Lools of Lhe Llme, meanlng forgeL abouL Lhe LaLln, Lhe robes,
and Lhe wands, and plck up a compuLer, a vldeo camera, or an elecLrlc gulLar. loundlng faLher
of lndusLrlal muslc and rave, now uslng hls own body as a slgll ln an efforL Lo ºbreak sex"-one
of Lhe mosL complex, creaLlve, and courageous people ever Lo walk Lhe face of Lhe earLh. When
Cod made Cen, he Lhrew away Lhe casL!
1he ºmonsLrous ego" of Le ulvlne uall lnsured LhaL he was consLanLly ln Lhe medla eye durlng
hls Llme, buL lf noL for hls prodlglous arLlsLlc LalenLs, would we sLlll care? SLudy of Lhe
ºparanolac-crlLlcal" meLhod of uall's creaLlvlLy ls a musL for Lhose serlously lnLeresLed ln
Cne of Lhe greaLesL mlnds of Lhls or any oLher cenLury, Leary Look serlously Lhe CreaL Work of
alchemy-Lhe cosmlc perfecLlon of manklnd. ln dolng so he rlsked hls sanlLy and Lhe sanlLy of
many oLhers Lo booL! Pe was called ºLhe mosL dangerous man ln Amerlca" by nlxon and
Poover. 8y Lurnlng on Lhe world, or Lrylng Lo, wlLh LSu, Leary [olned Lhe ranks of Lhe greaL magl
and llberaLors of human hlsLory. lL may Lake anoLher cenLury before Lhe good docLor geLs hls
due, Lhough. 8uL lL wlll happen, mark my words. (PlnL: All Lhe ºsecreLs" of maglck are neaLly
encoded wlLhln Lhe pages of Leary's ºluLure PlsLory Serles" of 1970s books. 8uL coded Lhey are:
Pe wroLe Lhese books whllsL ln [all, lf he'd have come rlghL ouL and sald ln plaln Lngllsh whaL he
was hlnLlng aL, Lhey'd have Lhrown away Lhe key.)
Muslc as manLra. !ohn ColLrane lsn'L merely playlng hls saxophone on ºA Love Supreme," he ls
praylng wlLh lL. lf you don'L see Lhe pracLlcal maglcal lesson LhaL can be learned here, Lhlnk
Well, Mlles mlghL have been a LoLal asshole, Lrue, buL he dld manage Lo change Lhe dlrecLlon of
muslc several Llmes durlng hls llfeLlme, and lf LhaL aln'L maglcal, l don'L know whaL ls! (And eaL
your hearL ouL 8rlan Lno-lL was Mlles who lnvenLed ºamblenL muslc," as one llsLen Lo hls eerle
1973 elegy Lo uuke LlllngLon, ºPe Loved Plm Madly," wlll prove)
Ponorable menLlon goes Lo CranL Morrlson , whom l have called ºLhe helr Lo Wllllam
8urroughs" for years. Morrlson's melsLerwerk, 1he lnvlslbles, smuggles maglcal LhoughL lnLo
Lhe mlnds of comlcs readers llke a 1ro[an horse, a Lrue maglcal lnlLlaLlon dlsgulsed as an
advenLure serles. lL's one of Lhe mosL subverslve Lhlngs ever Lo be funded by a ma[or
corporaLlon and a spell Lhe reverberaLlons of whlch wlll sLlll be felL for some Llme Lo come.
LlS1 83 17 1aroL uecks
1he Alcohol 1aroL
8y Lhe CulL of Lhe urunken ÞropheL. Some people who really, really llke booze have come up
wlLh a full 1aroL deck devoLed Lo a dlfferenL klnd of ºsplrlL." 1he four LradlLlonal sulLs have been
replaced by 8eer, Wlne, Lager, and SplrlLs. º1he Maglclan" ls, of course, Lhe barLender, who can
comblne all klnds of alcohol and oLher beverages lnLo an endless varleLy of yummy concocLlons.
º1he Panged Man" ls a guy puklng ln a LolleL, whlle º1he SLar" ls a darLboard. 1he lmages are ln
Lhe form of phoLographs. 1he heavlly ÞhoLoshopped ma[or arcana are so-so, buL Lhe mlnor
arcana are eleganL.
1he 8osch 1aroL
8y A. ALanassov. Many decks use Lhe sLyle of famous arLlsLs Lo relnLerpreL Lhe 1aroL. ln Lhls
case, ALanassov employs many lmages sLralghL from 8enalssance palnLer Plerony-omous 8osch,
whose blzarre, labyrlnLhlne works deLall Lhe [oys of heaven and Lhe horrors of hell. º1he
CharloL," for lnsLance, shows a man ln repLlllan body armor rldlng a charloL made of a saddle on
a glanL flsh. 1wo dogs wearlng sweaLers appear Lo be pulllng Lhe odd conLrapLlon. lL only geLs
welrder from Lhere..
8y !ohn 8erger. ln Lhls gorgeous deck, every card ls a radlanLly colorful fracLal. AlLhough lL may
noL always be lmmedlaLely apparenL, each lmage has been carefully selecLed Lo correspond Lo
Lhe meanlng of Lhe card: Lhe lsolaLed feel of º1he PermlL," Lhe merglng of º1he Lovers," Lhe
flery exploslon of ºSLrengLh." Some of Lhe Ma[or Arcana have been changed-"1he Plgh ÞrlesL"
has become ºÞrogenesls"-and Lwo have been added Lo Lhe end: ºPyperspace" and
ºLschaLon." Cne of Lhe mosL beauLlful 1aroL decks ever creaLed.
Cosmlc 1rlbe 1aroL
8y SLevee ÞosLman. Cne of Lhe mosL popular recenL decks, Lhese phanLasmagorlc, psychedellc
lmages show Lhe posslblllLles when ÞhoLoshop ls used by Lhe rlghL person. lnfluences lnclude
Alex Crey, Lhe CraLeful uead, collage arL, buLLerflles, flowers, LSu, sacred geomeLry, and
aLLracLlve, naked people. Þerhaps Lhe mosL Lalked-abouL aspecL of Lhls deck ls º1he Lovers"
card, whlch comes ln Lhree flavors: gay, lesblan, and heL. l can'L help Lhlnklng LhaL Lhe
orlglnaLors of Lhe 1aroL would be surprlsed buL pleased.
LroLlc 1aroLs of Mllo Manara
1aklng a dlfferenL approach Lo Lhe ldea of a sexual 1aroL, legendary eroLlc comlc Luro-arLlsL
Mllo Manara fllls Lhe deck wlLh hls Lrademark pouLy, sllnky women.
8y ?lva 1rollsLlerna, ÞaLrlk Carlsson, and Þlerre 8rawln. lrom Sweden, Lhls deck Lakes lLs cue
from sex maglck, 1anLra, and oLher LradlLlons LhaL merge flesh and splrlL. 1he black-and-whlLe
llne drawlngs dlsplay only a medlum level of sophlsLlcaLlon, buL Lhere are many lnLeresLlng
ldeas here. º1he World" ls represenLed by a dalsy chaln of people performlng oral sex on each
oLher, overlald wlLh Lhe symbols of Lhe zodlac. º1he Lovers" slL enLwlned ln a loLus poslLlon on a
flamlng hearL. 1he phalllc symbollsm of º1he 1ower" ls made blaLanL when lL becomes a
glganLlc penls cracklng ln half.
Clow ln Lhe uark 1aroL
1he Ma[or Arcana have been Laken from Lhe 8lder-WalLe deck, reproduced ln black and whlLe,
and prlnLed wlLh lnk LhaL glows ln Lhe dark.
P.8. Clger 1aroL
1he blomechanlcal work of arLlsL P.8. Clger-besL known for glvlng Lhe Allen movles Lhelr
slnlsLer look-has been selecLed Lo represenL each of Lhe 22 Ma[or Arcana. uark and fearsome.
8y !oe 8osales. Comlc arLlsL 8osales has deslgned a black-and-whlLe llne arL 1aroL feaLurlng
scenes from Lhe 8lder-WalLe deck buL wlLh Lhe hypercuLe characLers from Lhe ºPello klLLy"
unlverse replaclng Lhe LradlLlonal flgures. naLurally, klLLy ls º1he Plgh ÞrlesLess," whlle
Þochacco Lhe puppy ls ºueaLh," sLrlklng down oLher saccharlne characLers wlLh hls scyLhe.
Þhyslcal Lgg 1aroL
8y ulrk Clllabel. 1he lmage for each card (Ma[or Arcana only) was palnLed on Lhe shell of a
brown egg, whlch was Lhen phoLographed on sand. ln a slmllar veln, Clllabel's Cak 1aroL ls a
serles of phoLographs showlng Lhe Ma[or Aracana palnLed on sllces of a young oak Lree.
8ock and 8oll 1aroL
by Chrls Þaradls. ÞhoLoshopped lmages show how rockers flL Lhe 1aroL archeLypes: lrank Zappa
ls º1he Maglclan", 1lna 1urner ls º1he Plgh ÞrlesLess", kurL Cobaln ls º1he Panged Man", and
Llvls ls º1he Lmperor." 1he ºCulLar" sulL feaLures Lrlc ClapLon, !lml Pendrlx, and Carlos SanLana.
1orl Amos, AreLha lranklln, and 8ob Marley appear ln Lhe ºvolce" sulL.
1he Slllcon valley 1aroL
8y 1homas Scovllle. 1hls deck ls baslcally a vehlcle Lo spoof doL-com culLure. 1he Mlnor
Arcana's sulLs are dlsks, cublcles, neLworks, and hosLs. 1he Ma[or Arcana lncludes º1he Packer,"
ºvenLure CaplLal," ºlÞC", ºSpam," and º1he Layoff."
1aroL ArL CullL Þro[ecL
ln Lhls collaboraLlve pro[ecL, 42 flber arLlsLs creaLed all 78 1aroL cards, each as a full-slze qullL.
1he enLlre seL was dlsplayed aL Lhe 2003 lnLernaLlonal CullL lesLlval.
1aroL of 8aseball
8y 8oberL kasher and 8everley 8ansom. 1he lllusLraLlons have Lhe sLyle and colorlng of Lhe
8lder-WalLe deck, buL Lhey poke genLle fun aL Amerlca's ÞasLlme. º1he lool" ls a rookle,
ºueaLh" ls a general manager runnlng over people ln hls blg car, and º1he Plgh ÞrlesLess" ls Lhe
glrlfrlend or wlfe forced Lo waLch Lhe games. Cloves, caps, balls, and baLs make up Lhe Mlnor
1aroL of Lhe new vlslon
8y ÞleLro Alllgo, 8. CesLaro, C. CesLaro. 1hree lLallan arLlsLs had a brllllanL ldea: 1ake Lhe famlllar
lmages of Lhe 8lder-WalLe deck, and palnL Lhem from Lhe opposlLe perspecLlve, showlng whaL
was prevlously ºouL of Lhe frame." 1hus we see LhaL Lhe Maglclan, wlLh hls candle burnlng aL
boLh ends, ls performlng for an audlence ln a garden, whlle a small monkey behlnd hlm Lugs on
hls red robe. ln Lhe nlne of Swords, Lhe angulshed man ln bed ls acLually belng aLLacked by a
demon, and Lwo women behlnd Lhe lmperlal !usLlce are nesLllng a baby lnLo a baskeL.
1aroL unlversal uall
8y Salvador uall. AlLhough many decks are reLroacLlvely done ln Lhe sLyle of masLer arLlsLs, very
few famous arLlsLs have dlrecLly Laken up Lhe challenge. Supreme SurreallsL Salvador uall dld,
and Lhe resulL-as you mlghL expecL-ls a wlld, phanLasmagorlc deck LhaL ls ofLen consldered
one of Lhe mosL sLunnlng ever publlshed.
1he 1hoLh 1aroL
8y AlelsLer Crowley and Lady lrleda Parrls. uslng concepLs from Lhe kabalah and Lhe Colden
uawn comblned wlLh hls own wlld lnslghLs, Lhe world's mosL famous occulLlsL dlrecLed Parrls Lo
palnL Lhe surreal, absLracLed lmages LhaL adorn Lhe cards.
Ponorable MenLlons: 1he 1aroL of Cz, Lord of Lhe 8lngs 1aroL, ÞoMo 1aroL, SLlck
llgure 1aroL, Wonderland 1aroL, lerreL 1aroL, Cummlbear 1aroL, lanLasLlc
Medlcal 1aroL, 1lny 1aroL, vamplre 1aroL, Cay 1aroL, nlghLmare 8efore
1he Wonders of Modern Medlclne,
parL one ln Lhe medlcal procedure called enLeral feedlng, a nuLrlenL ln llquld form ls plped
dlrecLly lnLo Lhe dlgesLlve sysLem. 1o see lf Lhe fluld leaks lnLo Lhe paLlenL's resplraLory sysLem,
lL ls someLlme colored wlLh blue food colorlng (speclflcally, lu&C 8lue #1, Lhe same Lype used
ln M&Ms). Þroblem ls, lL someLlmes Lurns Lhe paLlenL's shlL and plss blue. Lven worse, some
people have been smurfed (l.e., Lhelr skln Lurns blue). 8uL LhaL's small poLaLoes compared Lo
Lhe dozen people who have dled from Lhe azure llquld as of SepLember 2003.
LlS1 86 44 SubsLances 1haL Soup up
8. dehydroeplandrosLerone (uPLA)
10. dlmeLhylamlnoeLhanol (uMAL)
11. faLLy aclds
13. gerovlLal (CP-3)
14. glnkgo blloba
30. propranolol hydrochlorlde
31. pyrogluLamaLe (ÞCA)
37-43. vlLamlns 8
, C, and L
44. xanLhlnol nlcoLlnaLe
LlS1 87 24 1oxlc Chemlcals ln 8lll
ln 2003, Lhe MounL Slnal School of Medlclne-ln connecLlon wlLh Lwo publlc lnLeresL
groups-LesLed Lhe blood and urlne of nlne people for Lhe presence of 210 chemlcal polluLanLs.
1hey found a LoLal of 167 of Lhese Loxlc subsLances ln Lhe volunLeers. 1he average volunLeer
was carrylng 91 of Lhese compounds, Lhe lowesL number was 77, and Lhe hlghesL was 106.
!ournallsL 8lll Moyers-Lhe hosL of nCW on Þ8S and Lhe lnLervlewer who made myLhologlsL
!oseph Campbell famous-was one of Lhe people LesLed. 1he followlng are among Lhe wlLch's
brew of 84 conLamlnanLs found ln Moyers' body. (lor more lnformaLlon, check ouL Lhe 8ody
8urden webslLe aL [www.ewg.org/reporLs/bodyburden/].)
3. penLafuran (2,3,4,7,8-ÞeCul)
4. hexafuran (1,2,3,4,7,8-PxCul)
3. hepLadloxln (1,2,3,4,6,7,8-PpCuu)
6. ocLadloxln (1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9-CCuu)
12. 11,14-meLhyl esLer elcosadlenolc acld
13. meLhyl lsobuLyl carblnol
17. palmlLlc acld
19. C-meLhyloxlme 3,3-dlmeLhyl-2-Cyclohexen-1-one
20. 1-henelcosyl formaLe
21. dl-n-buLyl phLhalaLe
22. dlmeLhylphosphaLe (uMÞ)
1he Wonders of Modern Medlclne,
parL Lwo An unknown number of people have dled from overdoses of morphlne because of
sloppy prescrlblng and fllllng. 8oxanal-an oral soluLlon of morphlne sulfaLe-ls sold ln
concenLraLlons measurlng ln mllllllLers. unforLunaLely, prescrlpLlons are ofLen wrlLLen wlLhouL
speclfylng Lhe Lype of measuremenL, whlch ls someLlmes assumed Lo be mllllllLers, lnsLead of
Lhe much smaller mllllgrams. 1he resulL: Some poor slobs who should be geLLlng, say, flve
mllllgrams of morphlne acLually end up Laklng flve mllllllLers, whlch ls 100 mllllgrams.
LlS1 88 12 AccepLable Levels of lllLh ln
Some amounL of lnsecLs, rodenL halr, and mold ln our food ls lnevlLable. ln 1986, Lhe lood and
urug AdmlnlsLraLlon was Lold Lo flgure ouL how much fllLh ls Loo much. 1hey seL llmlLs aL whlch
Lhe food was deemed unflL for human consumpLlon, anyLhlng under LhaL amounL ls A-Ck. So lf
seven raL halrs per 10 grams of food are consldered defecLlve, Lhen slx halrs are flne.
Canned asparagus: 40 or more Lhrlps ln 100 grams.
Canned mushrooms: More Lhan Len percenL of Lhe 'shrooms are decomposed.
Canned splnach: Lwo or more caLerplllars whose aggregaLe lengLh ls aL leasL Lwelve mllllmeLers
ln 24 pounds.
Canned LomaLoes: Lwo or more maggoLs or Len or more fly eggs ln 300 grams.
ChocolaLe: Lhree or more rodenL halrs or 90 or more lnsecL fragmenLs ln a 100-gram sample.
Chopped daLes: Len or more dead lnsecLs ln 100 grams.
Clnger: Lhree or more mllllgrams of mammal shlL per pound.
Cround clnnamon: 400 or more lnsecL fragmenLs ln 30 grams.
Cround oregano: 1,230 or more lnsecL parLs ln Len grams.
Macaronl and noodle producLs: ºAverage of 223 lnsecL fragmenLs or more per 223 grams ln 6 or
8alslns: flve percenL or more of Lhe ralslns ls lnfesLed wlLh mold.
WheaL: nlne mllllgrams or more of raL shlL ln a kllogram.
1he ÞowerdeaLh Clrls WhaL could be more harmless Lhan plnk loLlon from Lhe Þowerpuff
Clrls? A loL of Lhlngs. 1he goo LhaL came ln some klnd of ºklL" adorned wlLh Lhe Lhree carLoon
glrls had Lo be recalled naLlonwlde ln lebruary-March 2003 because lL was conLamlnaLed wlLh a
nasLy bacLerlum. Þseudomonas aeruglnosa prlmarlly nalls people wlLh weaker Lhan average
lmmune sysLems, whlch lncludes mosL klds. 1he unlverslLy of Wlsconsln-Madlson ueparLmenL
of 8acLerlology says LhaL Lhe bug ls ºnoLorlous for lLs reslsLance Lo anLlbloLlcs and ls, Lherefore,
a parLlcularly dangerous and dreaded paLhogen." Among Lhe dlseases lL causes: pneumonla,
menlnglLls, braln abscesses, unLreaLable acne, eye lnfecLlons ºLhaL can lead Lo loss of Lhe enLlre
eye," and lnfecLlons of Lhe ear, bones, [olnLs, urlnary LracL, sofL Llssue, and gasLrolnLesLlnal
LlS1 89 7 Ldlble llowers
CaLhy Wllklnson 8arash's colorful, lavlshly lllusLraLed 1993 cookbook looks ln many ways llke a
loL of oLher coffee-Lable cookbooks. LxcepL LhaL lL's LlLled Ldlble llowers. ln lL, Lhe llfelong
flower-eaLer glves reclpes, compleLe wlLh scrumpLlous phoLos, for dlshes you can prepare wlLh
66 Lypes of flower. Among Lhem:
1ullps ofLen LasLe llke peas or beans, 8arash Lells us from experlence, ºoccaslonally wlLh a
green apple overLone." 1hey make greaL salad dresslng and Luna salad.
Þansy peLals LasLe mlldly sweeL, whlle Lhe enLlre flower has ºa wlnLergreen overLone."
Crlndlng Lhem wlLh granulaLed sugar ln waLer makes pansy syrup.
As for roses , 8arash recommends old varleLles and fragranL hybrlds. ln general, roses have
varylng flavors, ºall on Lhe sweeL slde, wlLh overLones ranglng from apple Lo clnnamon Lo
ChrysanLhemums are Langy and go well wlLh lamb.
When young, dandellons ºhave a sweeL, honeyllke flavor." Comblne Lhem wlLh sugar, yeasL,
and [ulce from freshly-squeezed lemons and oranges Lo make Lhe fabled dandellon wlne.
Poneysuckle ls especlally yummy, 8arash lavlshes pralse on Lhls ºfloral, necLarous
delecLaLlon." Llke all flowers, lL can be candled, [ellled, or used Lo lnfuse vodka.
Sunflower buds LasLe llke arLlchoke, whlle Lhe peLals of Lhe flower are blLLersweeL.
3 SLaLes Where CockflghLlng ls Legal
1he ÞlL MasLer WebslLe [www.plLmasLer.com] § unlLed ÞoulLry Concerns WebslLe [www.upc-onllne.org]
3 uncommon Sources of Þower
1. Þaul, ÞeralLe C. º1he Þower ls ln Lhe Manure." ALlanLa !ournal-ConsLlLuLlon, 3 CcL 2003. § unslgned. ºManure-
powered Lnergy ÞlanL Cpens." 8uslness !ournal (Mllwaukee), 20 !un 2001. 2. Cfflce of Lhe 8lomass Þrogram,
Cfflce of Lnergy Lfflclency and 8enewable Lnergy, uS ueparLmenL of Lnergy. ºMulLlyear Þlan 2003 Lo 2008
[drafL]." 13 !an 2003. 3. Cascades volcano CbservaLory (vancouver, WashlngLon), uS Ceologlcal Survey. º1he Þlus
Slde of volcanoes - CeoLhermal Lnergy." 6 !un 2001.
4 unreleased 8aunchy Songs (selecLed sources)
Peylln, CllnLon. 8ooLleg: 1he SecreL PlsLory of Lhe CLher 8ecordlng lndusLry. SL. MarLln's Þress, 1993. § uean
MarLln's l8l flle. § varlous fan webslLes.
3 ueslgnaLlons of lmporLance used by Lhe ClA
kessler, 8onald. lnslde Lhe ClA. ÞockeL 8ooks, 1994.
3 ºlamlly-Safe" 8lbles
Creen, !onaLhon. 1he Lncyclopedla of Censorshlp. lacLs on llle, 1990.
6 8ands 1haL Are Lhe Sub[ecL of l8l llles
l8l lClA webslLe [fola.fbl.gov]. § 1he Smoklng Cun webslLe [www.Lhesmoklnggun.com] § varlous arLlcles from Lhe
defuncL webslLe AÞ8news.com.
6 CelebrlLles lnvolved wlLh Lhe Church of SaLan
varlous llLeraLure from Lhe Church of SaLan. § 1he 8ellglous MovemenLs Pomepage Þro[ecL, unlverslLy of vlrglnla.
º1he Church of SaLan."
6 lllegal SubsLances 1haL Cccur naLurally ln Cur 8odles
!oseph, Mlrlam. Speed: lLs PlsLory and Lore. CarlLon 8ooks, 2000. § Concar, uavld. ºALLack of Lhe Munchles." new
SclenLlsL WebslLe, 11 Aprll 2001. § º1he Lndorphln CollecLlon." Molecular Lxpresslons WebslLe, llorlda SLaLe
unlverslLy [mlcro.mag-neL.fsu.edu]. § ºLndorphlns." Columbla Lncyclopedla, SlxLh LdlLlon. Columbla unlverslLy
Þress, 2001. § laculLy homepage of Samuel 1. ChrlsLlan, ueparLmenL of Þhyslology and 8lophyslcs, unlverslLy of
Alabama. [www.physlology.uab.edu/wyss/fac-ulLy/chrlsLla.hLm] § !oseph, Mlrlam. Speed: lLs PlsLory and Lore.
CarlLon 8ooks, 2000. § Llnda 8lghL-mlre. ºCandace ÞerL's commenLs." ÞosLlng Lo MAÞS forum, 3 leb 2001. §
naLlonal lnsLlLuLes of PealLh. º8esearchers ulscover luncLlon for 8raln's Marl[uana-Llke Compound." 22 Mar 1999.
§ Lycaeum webslLe [www.lycaeum.org.]
6 Sex AcLs 1haL Are lllegal
Þosner, 8lchard A., and kaLharlne 8. Sllbaugh. A Culde Lo Amerlca's Sex Laws. unlverslLy of Chlcago Þress, 1996. §
Crlmlnal codes of varlous sLaLes onllne.
7 ClA ÞloLs Lo klll CasLro
ClA lnspecLor Ceneral. º8eporL on ÞloLs Lo AssasslnaLe lldel CasLro." 23 May 1967. 8eprlnLed ln ClA 1argeLs lldel:
1he SecreL AssasslnaLlon 8eporL. Ccean Þress, 1996.
7 Ldlble llowers
8arash, CaLhy Wllklnson. Ldlble llowers: lrom Carden Lo ÞalaLe. lulcrum Þubllshlng, 1993.
8 8ooks 1haL uldn'L Make lL lnLo Lhe 8lble
ÞlaLL, 8uLheford P., !r. 1he lorgoLLen 8ooks of Lden: LosL 8ooks of Lhe Cld 1esLamenL. 8ell Þubllshlng, 1980. §
unslgned. 1he LosL 8ooks of Lhe 8lble. 8ell Þubllshlng, 1979. § Wesley CenLer for Applled 1heology, norLhwesL
nazarene unlverslLy. ºnon-canonlcal LlLeraLure." Wesley CenLer Cnllne. [wes ley.nnu.edu/noncanon/].
8 Pandmade Þrlson Cb[ecLs
Angelo. Þrlsoners' lnvenLlons. WhlLeWalls, 2003. § lausseL, 8lchard. ºlllegal 8rew Clves Callf. Þrlson Cfflclals
Peadaches." Los Angeles 1lmes, 3 !an 2003. § Clllln, Lrlc. ºMake ?our Cwn Þruno and May Cod Pave Mercy on
?our Soul." 1he 8lack 1able, 24 SepL 2003.
8 SLupld ÞollLlclan CuoLes
1. ºA 8are Cllmpse lnslde 8ush's CablneL." 60 MlnuLes (1v show), 17 nov 2002. 1he quoLe was sald whlle 8ush was
belng lnLervlewed by 8ob Woodward for hls book 8ush aL War. 2. º8emarks by Lhe ÞresldenL on Lhe Lconomy."
MldwesL Alrllnes CenLer, Mllwaukee, Wlsconsln, 3 CcL 2003. 1ranscrlpL on WhlLe Pouse webslLe. 3. Crove, Lloyd.
ºLowdown." new ?ork ually news, 11 !an 2004. Sald Lo new ?orker wrlLer ken AuleLLa. 4. ºuou news 8rleflng -
SecreLary 8umsfeld and Cen. Myers." 12 leb 2002. 1ranscrlpL on uefense ueparLmenL webslLe. 3. uursL, Wlll.
ºLlberace of ÞaLronage." 1he Þrogresslve, !une 2003. 6. AssoclaLed Þress lnLervlew, 7 Apr 2003. 7. ºCllnLon
Þledges Lo llghL as CombaL Soldler WlLh lsraell Army." newsmax.com, 31 !uly 2002. CuoLlng a reporL from Lhe
Canadlan Þress newswlre. 8. Pu, Wlnnle. ºCllnLon and nadler Seek lnqulry lnLo L.Þ.A. 8esponse Lo SepL. 11." new
?ork 1lmes, 27 Aug 2003.
9 8ellglous CuoLes
1. Shaw, Ceorge 8ernard. Man and Superman, 1903. 2. 1homas !efferson Lo PoraLlo C. Spafford, 1814. ML
14:119. 3. 8ranL, 8eLh. ºÞhyslcal Þrayers: SplrlLuallLy and SexuallLy." ln 8lLual Sex, edlLed by 1rlsLan 1aormlno and
uavld Aaron Clark. Masquerade 8ooks, 1996. 4. Þodolsky, 8obln. ºulrLy." ln 8lLual Sex, edlLed by 1rlsLan 1aormlno
and uavld Aaron Clark. Masquerade 8ooks, 1996. 3. Mencken, P.L. Llvlng Þhllosophles. Ld. by Wlll uuranL. 1931.
6. 8oblnson, Splder. ºÞralse Lhe Lord and Þass Lhe AmmunlLlon," Clobe and Mall (1oronLo), 6 May 2002. 7.
Mencken, P.L. MlnorlLy 8eporL: P.L. Mencken's noLebooks. 1936. 8. PlLchens, ChrlsLopher. LeLLers Lo a ?oung
ConLrarlan. 8aslc 8ooks, 2001. 9. SalnL !ohn ChrysosLom (347-407), ue sacerdoLlo.
9 1hlngs 1haL Wlll ulsquallfy ?ou lrom LmploymenL wlLh Lhe l8l
l8l form lu-140: ºAppllcaLlon for LmploymenL, lederal 8ureau of lnvesLlgaLlon."
9 uS Companles Allowed Lo ManufacLure lllegal urugs
uS urug LnforcemenL AdmlnlsLraLlon. ºManufacLurer of ConLrolled SubsLances, noLlces of 8eglsLraLlon," 2003.
9 vlslLors Who uled aL ulsneyland
8erkman, uavld. º?ouLh kllled by ulsneyland 8lde." Los Angeles 1lmes, 8 !une 1980, p 3. § Polley, uavld, and
Marclda uodson. ºWoman kllled on 8obsled 8lde aL ulsneyland." Los Angeles 1lmes, 4 !an 1984. § koenlg, uavld.
Mouse 1ales: A 8ehlnd-Lhe-Lars Look aL ulsneyland. 8onavenLure Þress, 1994, pp 170-3. § SmlLh, SLeven C.
ºMlckey Mouse SulLs." Los Angeles 1lmes, 28 SepL 1973, p 1. § Woodyard, uavld. ºueaLh ln ulsneyland on Lhe
MaLLerhorn." Los Angeles Perald-Lxamlner, 4 !an 1984. § Þfelfer, SLuarL, uanlel ?l, !ennlfer Mena. ºulsneyland
8lder ules ln 8oller CoasLer AccldenL." Los Angeles 1lmes, 6 SepL 2003. § ?l, uanlel, and 8oberL Curllan. ºMan ules
2 uays AfLer 8elng ln[ured aL ulsneyland." Los Angeles 1lmes, 27 uec 1998. § Los Angeles 1lmes, 3 !une 1983, p 3. §
ºMan kllled aL ulsneyland 8led Lo ueaLh, AuLopsy Says." Los Angeles 1lmes, 10 SepL 2003.
10 ClA lronL Companles
Coulden, !oseph C. 1he ueaLh MerchanL: 1he 8lse and lall of Ldwln Þ. Wllson. 8anLam 8ooks, 1983. § kerber, 8oss,
and 8ryan 8ender. ºApparenL ClA lronL uldn'L Cffer Much Cover." 8osLon Clobe, 10 CcL 2003. § SLurkey, Marlon l.
Warrlor CulLure of Lhe u.S. Marlnes. PerlLage Þress lnLernaLlonal, 2001.
10 CldesL SLlll-Classlfled uocumenLs aL Lhe naLlonal Archlves
º10 CldesL uocumenL uaLes ln Au88LS." naLlonal Archlves and 8ecords AdmlnlsLraLlon, 3 !an 2004. uocumenL
released ln response Lo lClA requesL nCC04-003 by Mlchael 8avnlLzky.
10 8easons Why Cars Suck
Pawken, Þaul, Amory Lovlns, and L. PunLer Lovlns. naLural CaplLallsm: CreaLlng Lhe nexL lndusLrlal 8evoluLlon.
8ack 8ay 8ooks, 2000. § kay, !ane PolL. AsphalL naLlon: Pow Lhe AuLomoblle 1ook Cver Amerlca and Pow We Can
1ake lL 8ack. Crown Þubllshers, 1997. § 1ransporLaLlon AlLernaLlves webslLe [www.LransalL.org]. § CoalLlon for
ApproprlaLe 1ransporLaLlon webslLe [www.car-free.org].
10 unusual lorms and Cenres of Muslc
All Muslc Culde webslLe [www.allmuslc.com] § AssoclaLed Þress. ºunderwaLer Lunes draw dlvers," 13 !uly 2003. §
Clark, M.A. ºCeneLlc Muslc: An AnnoLaLed Source LlsL." 1997-2004. [www.whozoo.org/mac/Muslc/Sources.hLm] §
uello, Mlchelle. º8raln Muslc: noL Much Lo uance 1o." Wlred news, 27 March 2003. § uye, Lee. º8raln Muslc."
A8CnLWS.com, 28 Aug 2002. § Cresham, Mark. ºln Lhe key of Llfe." CreaLlve Loaflng (ALlanLa), 24 !uly 2003. § klrk
nurock webslLe [www.klrknurock.com] § Maurer, !ohn A., lv. º8esearch ln underwaLer Sound" [webpage].
[ccrma-www.sLanford.edu/~blackrse/h2o.hLml] § MulaLLa 8ecords webslLe [www.mulaLLa.org] § 1he Þl Þro[ecL
webslLe [www.mlcrosound.org/pl/] § 8ammel, Pal. º!oe 8arrlck's one-man band: A hlsLory of Lhe plaLarba[o and
oLher one-man bands." Muslcal 1radlLlons #8 (1990). § 8olllng SLones, 1he. Accordlng Lo Lhe 8olllng SLones.
Chronlcle 8ooks, 2003. § 1he Sound of MaLhemaLlcs webslLe [www.geoclLles.com/vlenna/9349/] § underwaLer
Muslc webslLe [www.playalongaLh-ome.com/underwaLer/] § ºWhen naLure Speaks." !lm nollman lnLervlewed by
uerrlck !ensen. 1he Sun, #233. [www.lnLerspecles.com/pages/sun.hLml] § WlnchesLer, Ashley. ºChelsea composer
ls searchlng for peLs wlLh plpes." 1he vlllager (new ?ork), 22-28 CcL 2003.
11 Codly Þeople
1. uanLon, Lrlc 8., and uavld Cwens. º'volce' 1ells Mom Lo klll." ParLford CouranL, 13 Aug 2001. 2. AssoclaLed
Þress. ºlaLher ClLes 8lble ln Chlld-Chalnlng Case." 24 CcL 2000. 3. 8unyan, nlgel. º'ueal wlLh !esus' Led Lo
8omber's PaLe Campalgn." ually 1elegraph (London), 22 SepL 2001. 4. Crlggs, 8randon. ºLafferLy Lo Sherlff's
uepuLy: 'lf Cod Asked Me Lo, l'd klll ?ou 8lghL now'." SalL Lake 1rlbune, 20 Aug 2000. 3. Shlel, 1om. ºMan Packed
Porse Lo ueaLh for LaLlng Crass." lrlsh lndependenL, 2000. 6. 88C news. ºlaLher kllls Son ln 8lLual Sacrlflce." 26
leb 2002. 7. Morrls, Chrls. ºlormer nun noL 8emorseful." Canadlan Þress, ln 1oronLo SLar, 8 nov 2002. 8-9. Lllls,
Cuy. ºSuspecLs ln SL. Lucla Church ALLack Say Cod 1old 1hem Lo uo lL." AssoclaLed Þress, 1 !an 2001 10. ºSerlal
klller 'noL Sorry' AbouL 13 Murders." Ananova newswlre (London), 12 nov 2000. 11. ChrlsLlan, Carol, and Llsa
1eachy. º?aLes 8elleved Chlldren uoomed." PousLon Chronlcle, 6 Mar 2002. 12. McCraw, Seamus. ºCops: Son
ALLacked for Sklpplng Sunday School." AÞ8news, 7 nov 2000.
11 MaLerlals 1haL Pave 8een Made lnLo Cuns
Mlnnery, !ohn. ºklll WlLhouL !oy!": 1he CompleLe Pow Lo klll 8ook. Þaladln Þress, 1992.
11 CuoLes AbouL ÞollLlcs and CovernmenL
1. l.l. SLone's Weekly (documenLary), 1974. 2. Pernandez, nelson. ºMd. voLlng Machlnes vulnerable, llrm Says."
WashlngLon ÞosL, 30 !an 2004. 3. ulsraell, 8en[amln. vlvlan Crey, 1824. 4. 1he Columbla World of CuoLaLlons.
Columbla unlverslLy Þress, 1996. 3. ºMr. Mencken Sounds Cff." Llfe, 3 Aug 1946. 6. naLhan, Ceorge !ean, and
P.L. Mencken. lnLerpreLaLlon of Lhe naLlonal Mlnd. 1920. 7. 1horeau, Penry uavld. ºClvll ulsobedlence." 1849. 8.
kaufmann, 8lll. Amerlca llrsL!: lLs PlsLory, CulLure and ÞollLlcs. ÞromeLheus 8ooks, 1993. 9. ºldloL WhlsLle."
WrlLLen by 1ony llLzpaLrlck. Þerformed by !onboy Langford & Lhe Þlne valley CosmonauLs on 1he LxecuLloner's
LasL Songs, 2002. 10. Ceorge, !ohn, and Lalrd Wllcox. nazls, CommunlsLs, klansmen and CLhers on Lhe lrlnge:
ÞollLlcal LxLremlsm ln Amerlca. ÞromeLheus 8ooks, 1992. 11. Crwell, Ceorge. nlneLeen LlghLy-lour. 1949.
11 WhlsLle-blowers (selecLed sources)
8ouza, AnLhony v., Þollce Chlef (8eL.). Þollce unbound: CorrupLlon, Abuse and Perolsm by Lhe 8oys ln 8lue.
ÞromeLheus 8ooks, 2001. § 8uLler, Smedley u. War ls a 8ackeL. leral Pouse, 2003. § Lphron, uan. ºMuzzllng a
WhlsLle-8lower." newsweek (lnLernaLlonal LdlLlon), 12 !an 2004. § ºlor 1elllng Lhe 1ruLh" by norman Solomon,
8alLlmore Sun, 14 uec 2003. § !effrey Wlgand webslLe [www.[effreywlgand.com] § ºkaren Sllkwood - Campalgner."
88C h2g2 webslLe. § º1he kaLherlne Cun Case." lnsLlLuLe for Þubllc Accuracy webslLe [www.accuracy.org/gun/] §
klck, 8uss. ÞsychoLropedla: A Culde Lo ÞubllcaLlons on Lhe Þerlphery. CrlLlcal vlslon, 1998. § LevlLL, MarLln !ay, wlLh
1erry Conrow. Confesslons of a unlon 8usLer. Crown, 1993. § Los Alamos naLlonal LaboraLory. º1he karen
Sllkwood SLory." Los Alamos Sclence, 23 nov 1993. § LevlLL, MarLln !ay, wlLh 1erry Conrow. Confesslons of a unlon
8usLer. Crown, 1993. § SLlgllLz, !oseph L. CloballzaLlon and lLs ulsconLenLs. norLon, 2002. § 1he uS Campalgn Lo
lree Mordechal vanunu [www.serve.com/vanunu/] § uS Marlne Corps webslLe [www.usmc.mll] 12 AccepLable
Levels of lllLh ln lood
CenLer for lood SafeLy and Applled nuLrlLlon, uS lood and urug AdmlnlsLraLlon. º1he lood uefecL AcLlon Levels."
May 1993, revlsed May 1998.
12 ArgumenLs AgalnsL Lhe Þollce SLaLe aL CuanLanamo 8ay
1exL of Lhe amlcus curae, whlch are posLed aL Lhe webslLe of Lhe CenLer for ConsLlLuLlonal 8lghLs [www.ccr-ny.org].
12 LroLlc Works by Well-known WrlLers
ÞlLL-keLhley, llona. (Ld.) 1he LlLerary Companlon Lo Sex. 8andom Pouse, 1992. § Cuasl Cfflclal 8oberL Sllverberg
Pome Þage [www.ma[lpoor.com] § Zacks, 8lchard. An underground LducaLlon. Anchor, 1999. § 1he LexL of Lhe
12 Clde-1lmey Þorn 8ooks (selecLed sources)
Creen, !onaLhon. 1he Lncyclopedla of Censorshlp. lacLs on llle, 1990. § Þerklns, Mlchael. 1he SecreL 8ecord.
8hlnoceros, 1992. § 8asmussen, 8. kenL., eL al. (Lds.) Censorshlp (3 volumes). Salem Þress, 1997. § Zacks, 8lchard.
PlsLory Lald 8are. ParperColllns, 1994.
12 Songs AbouL urugs (selecLed sources)
ulglLal 1radlLlon uaLabase [www.mudcaL.org] § lndlana ÞrevenLlon 8esource CenLer aL lndlana unlverslLy.
º8eferences Lo urugs ln Lhe Lyrlcs of Songs from Lhe 1930's and 1940's."
12 SLrange urugs
1. lnaba, uarryl S., Þharm. u., and Cohen, Wllllam L. uppers, uowners, All-Arounders: Þhyslcal and MenLal LffecLs
of ÞsychoacLlve urugs (second edlLlon). CnS ÞroducLlons, 1993. § uS Marlne Corps, Lhe 8aslc School, 1ralnlng
Command. º81321.1 SLudenL PandouL: Lnglneerlng Skllls lleld llrlng Lxerclse." 2. Þrovonsha, !ack, M.u., Þh.u.
ºLxplorlng Lhe Ldges of ueaLh." Slgns of Lhe 1lme, March 1999. § SLolaroff, Myron. ºCarbogen." 20 Aug 2002,
MulLldlsclpllnary AssoclaLlon for Þsychedellc SLudles forum. 3. Lycaeum webslLe [www.lycaeum.org.] 4. McLean,
u., 8.C. lorsyLhe, and l.A. kapkln. ºunusual slde effecLs of clomlpramlne assoclaLed wlLh yawnlng." Canadlan
!ournal of ÞsychlaLry, vol 28 (nov 1983). 3. ºMlckey Sllm." Wlklpedla [www.wlklpedla.org]. 6. 8orkhane. ºMore
1rlpplng & 8evelaLlons." Lrowld webslLe, 3 SepL 2003. § Shulgln, Alexander and Ann. 1lkPAL: 1he ConLlnuaLlon.
1ransform Þress, 1997. 7. Llmer, 8ob. ºWas napoleon a !unkle?" napoleonSerles.org. § Mandel, !erry. º1he
MyLhlcal 8ooLs of uS urug Þollcy: Soldler's ulsease and AddlcLs ln Lhe Clvll War." Schaffer Llbrary of urug Þollcy
[www.drugllbrary.org/schaffer]. § unslgned. ºnaLlons unlLlng Lo SLamp ouL Lhe use of Cplum and Many CLher
urugs." new ?ork 1lmes, 23 !uly 1909. § von 8lbra, 8aron LrnsL. ÞlanL lnLoxlcanLs: A Classlc 1exL on Lhe use of
Mlnd-AlLerlng ÞlanLs. Peallng ArLs Þress, 1993, pp 214-3. 8. 8udgley, 8lchard. 1he Lncyclopedla of ÞsychoacLlve
SubsLances. SL. MarLln's, 1998. § Lrowld webslLe. 9. 8udgley, 8lchard. 1he Lncyclopedla of ÞsychoacLlve
SubsLances. SL. MarLln's, 1998. 10. kozorog, Mlha. ºSalamander 8randy: 'A Þsychedellc urlnk' 8eLween Medla
MyLh and ÞracLlce of Pome Alcohol ulsLlllaLlon ln Slovenla." AnLhropology of LasL Lurope 8evlew, 21.1. 11. Mlller,
SLeven L. ºÞlanLs, lungl and Shamanlsm." WebslLe of SLeven L. Mlller, assoclaLe professor of boLany, unlverslLy of
Wyomlng [asuwllnk.uwyo.edu/~fungl] § Morgan, Adrlan. ºlaLher ChrlsLmas llles on 1oadsLools." new SclenLlsL, 23
uec 1986, p 43. 12. Anonymous. ºAn LxLremely Lxpenslve Plgh." Lycaeum webslLe, 10 CcL 2000. PM. Warren,
Lllen. ºCould lL be 1haL Cld 8ooks Are 8eally, uh, Mlnd-AlLerlng?" Chlcago 1rlbune, 21 SepL 1996.
12 1hlngs Lo do WlLh ?our 8ody AfLer ?ou're uead
ue vancy, ScoLL. ºAlLernaLlve luneral 8esource Culde." 1he Wave (San lranclsco), 2003. § Scheeres, !ulla. ºAshes
Lo Ashes, uusL Lo ulamonds." Wlred news, 19 SepL 2002.
1."uead Mum's World 1our." 88C, 29 May 2001.
2. WebslLe of LLernal 8eefs, lnc. [www.eLernalreefs.com]. 3. WebslLe of CelesLls, lnc. [www.celesLls.com] § ºSpace
llnal lronLler for 1lmoLhy Leary." Cnn, 20 Apr 1997. 4. WebslLe of LlfeCem [www.llfegem.com]. 3. WebslLe of
LLernally ?ours LverlasLlng Memorlal ArL [www.memorl-alarL.com]. 6. Parrls, 8on. ºuead ueslgner Wlll 8ecome
lrlsbee." AssoclaLed Þress, 13 Aug 2002.
7. WebslLe of kelco Supply [www.kelcosupply.com].
8. WebslLe of Ak8A/Lcopod [www.ecopod.co.uk]. 9. WebslLe of AlLernaLlve Ceremonles [www.alLernaLlve-
ceremonles.co.uk]. 10. WebslLe of Lhe naLural ueaLh CenLre [www.naLuraldeaLh.org.uk]. 11. WebslLe of
Summum [www.summum.org]. § kelly, uavld. ºMan llnds 1here's Money Lo be Made ln Mummles." Los Angeles
1lmes. 8eprlnLed ln ÞosL & Courler (CharlesLon nC), 3 !ul 2003. 12. WebslLes of MoLorcycle lunerals
[moLorcyclefunerals.com], Carrlage for Cccaslons [www.horsedrawnservlces.com], and Classlc and vlnLage luneral
12 unorLhodox Sex ÞracLlces (selecLed sources)
Cassell. Sex and SexuallLy: A 1hemaLlc ulcLlonary of CuoLaLlons. Cassell Þubllshers LLd., 1993. § CaLes, kaLharlne.
uevlanL ueslres: lncredlbly SLrange Sex webslLe. [www.devlanLdeslres.com] § Love, 8renda. Lncyclopedla of
unusual Sex ÞracLlces. 8arrlcade 8ooks, 1992. § SLoller, 8oberL !., Mu. ºLroLlc vomlLlng." Archlves of Sexual
8ehavlor 2.4 (1982): 361-3.
A uozen uS ÞollLlclans Who Pave Smoked ÞoL
Cass, Connle. ºÞasL Marl[uana use no Longer A ÞollLlcal SLlgma." AssoclaLed Þress. ln Sun news (MyrLle 8each, SC),
30 nov 2003. § Þumplng lron (fllm). 1977.
12 Ways Lo AlLer ?our Consclousness WlLhouL urugs
Callfla, ÞaL. ºShlny Sharp 1hlngs." ln 8lLual Sex, edlLed by 1rlsLan 1aormlno and uavld Aaron Clark. Masquerade
8ooks, 1996. § vale, v., and Andrea !uno. lnLervlew wlLh laklr Musafar. ln Modern ÞrlmlLlves: An lnvesLlgaLlon of
ConLemporary AdornmenL and 8lLual. 8L/Search ÞubllcaLlons, 1989. § Well, Andrew, M.u. 1he Marrlage of Lhe Sun
and Lhe Moon. PoughLon-Mlfflln, 1998. § Wllllams, uonna. nobody nowhere: 1he LxLraordlnary AuLoblography of
an AuLlsLlc. Avon, 1994. § º1herapeuLlc 8eneflLs of LaughLer." PollsLlc Cnllne [www.hollsLlc-onllne.com].
13 LxoLlc Cuns and knlves
uavld A. Cushman webslLe [webslLe.llneone.neL/~dave.cushman/] § Lvans, Colln. 1he Casebook of lorenslc
ueLecLlon: Pow Sclence Solved 100 of Lhe World's MosL 8affllng Crlmes. Wlley, 1998. § MeLal SLorm LlmlLed
webslLe [www.meLalsLorm.com]. § Mlnnery, !ohn. ºklll WlLhouL !oy!": 1he CompleLe Pow Lo klll 8ook. Þaladln
Þress, 1992. § SLlnger ManufacLurlng webslLe [sLlngerpengun.com]. § 1aggarL, SLewarL. ºnew Cun llres 'Laser of
Lead'." Wlred news, 28 SepL 2001.
13 lnnocenL Þeople Who WenL Lo Þrlson
lnnocence Þro[ecL webslLe [www.lnnocencepro[ecL.org]
13 LasL Meals 8equesLed by LxecuLed 1exas Þrlsoners
ºllnal Meal 8equesLs." [www.Ldc[.sLaLe.Lx.us/sLaL/flnalmeals.hLm]. A now-deleLed page from Lhe 1exas
ueparLmenL of Crlmlnal !usLlce webslLe. now mlrrored aL 1he Memory Pole [www.Lhememoryhole.org].
13 nuclear 1esLs 1haL Spread 8adlaLlon lnLo Clvlllan Areas
nevada CperaLlons Cfflce, uS ueparLmenL of Lnergy. 8adlologlcal LffluenLs 8eleased from uS ConLlnenLal 1esLs,
1961 1hrough 1992. uCL/nv-317 (8ev. 1). uC-702. Aug 1996.
13 Þrograms lrom uA8ÞA's uefuncL lnformaLlon Awareness Cfflce
lrom a saved verslon of Lhe now deleLed webslLe for Lhe lnformaLlon Awareness Cfflce [www.darpa.mll/lao/].
14 Crlmlnal Cops and 1helr ºÞunlshmenLs"
l. Akln, Þalge. ºCfflcer 8eslgns, Þleads CullLy: Mark 8olger, Crlglnally Charged WlLh Sodomy, Agrees Lo Lesser
Charge." 1lmes-ulspaLch, 16 !an 2004. 2. AssoclaLed Þress. ºlormer Sherlffs uepuLy SenLenced for Chlld
Þornography." Clrca 23 !an 2004 3. lulkerson, MarLha. ºCfflcer SenLenced." 1lmes (lrankforL, ln). 22 !an 2004. 4-
9. Pogben, uavld, and neal Pall. º1wo vancouver Þollce Cfflcers SenLenced Lo Pouse ArresL." vancouver Sun, 6
!an 2004. § 1anner, Adrlenne. ºCrlmlnal 8ecords for 4 Cfflcers." 1he Þrovlnce, 6 !an 2004. 10. Carllle, !ordan.
ºuepuLy Þleads CullLy Lo Chlld Abuse." 8rlgham ?oung unlverslLy newsneL, 13 !an 2004. § Pelps, Shana. ºlormer
Sherlff's uepuLy SenLenced Lo up Lo Llfe ln Þrlson ln Sodomy Case." ually Perald (Þrovo, u1), 8 !an 2004.
ll.kelleher, !ennlfer Slnco. ºLx-n?Þu Cop CeLs !all for ueaLhs." newsday (n?), 13 !an 2004. § ÞullLzer, Llsa, and
Andy Celler. º!all for uWl Cop." new ?ork ÞosL, 16 !an 2004. 12. Morse, !anlce. ºLx-offlcer LnLers CullLy Þlea."
ClnclnnaLl Lnqulrer, 4 uec 2003. § 9news. ºlormer Þollce Cfflcer SenLenced 1o Slx ?ears." WCÞC (ClnclnnaLl), 14
!an 2004. 13. ºlormer
Þollce Cfflcer SenLenced ln Chlld MolesLaLlon Case." AssoclaLed Þress, 7 Aug 2003. 14. ºLx-Lrooper CeLs LlghL
SenLence ln Chlld Þorn Case." Cbserver-8eporLer (WashlngLon, ÞA), 6 Aug 2003. PM. lazlol-lah, Mark. º3 Say
Abuslve Þollce CoL Slaps on WrlsL." Þhlladelphla lnqulrer, 16 !an 2004.
13 1hlngs 1haL Cause or Mlmlc ºMenLal lllnesses"
Clller, 8oberL M., M.u., and kaLhy MaLLhews. naLural ÞrescrlpLlons. Carol SouLhern 8ooks, 1994. § Marohn,
SLephanle. 1he naLural Medlclne Culde Lo 8lpolar ulsorder. PampLon 8oads Þubllshlng Company, 2003. § Marohn,
SLephanle. 1he naLural Medlclne Culde Lo uepresslon. PampLon 8oads Þubllshlng Company, 2003. § Marohn,
SLephanle. 1he naLural Medlclne Culde Lo Schlzophrenla. PampLon 8oads Þubllshlng Company, 2003. § Culcksllver
AssoclaLes. 1he Mercury ln ?our MouLh: 1he 1ruLh AbouL ºSllver" uenLal lllllngs. Culcksllver Þress, 1996.
16 Legal SubsLances 1haL Can Cause lalse ÞoslLlves on urug 1esLs (selecLed sources)
uanlel, Llsa. ºCfflclals lnvolved ln Workplace urug 1esLlng CeL a Chllllng 8emlnder of Lhe Pazards of lalse
8eadlngs." lederal 1lmes, 26 !an 1998. § Combos, !usLln. urug 1esLlng lAC 4.12, 13 Mar 1998. § nlghLbyrd,
!effery. ºConquerlng Lhe urlne 1esLs." [www.nodrugwar.com/hLml/bookleL/bookleL.hLm]
16 Movles 8anned ln Lhe uS
Coodrldge, Mlchael. º1he 8esL lllms ?ou Can'L See." 1he AdvocaLe, 23 !uly 2002.§ Creen, !onaLhon. 1he
Lncyclopedla of Censorshlp. lacLs on llle, 1990. § lnLerneL Movle uaLabase webslLe [www.lmdb.com] § Ledes,
8lchard. º'LeL 1here 8e LlghL': !ohn PusLon's lllm and Lhe ConcepL of 1rauma ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes afLer WWll."
LecLure presenLed aL Lhe Apres-Coup ÞsychoanalyLlc AssoclaLlon, 13 nov 1998. § 1he ÞroflL webslLe
[www.LheproflL.org] § 8asmussen, 8. kenL., eL al. (Lds.) Censorshlp (3 volumes). Salem Þress, 1997. § SubLerranean
Clnema webslLe [www.subcln.com]
17 CuesLlons ?ou'll be Asked When Applylng Lo 8ecome an l8l AgenL
l8l form lu-140: ºAppllcaLlon for LmploymenL, lederal 8ureau of lnvesLlgaLlon." § l8l form lu-190: ºSpeclal AgenL
lnLervlew lorm." 17 1aroL uecks (selecLed sources)
AeclecLlc 1aroL WebslLe [www.aeclecLlc.neL] § ArLof-LaroL.com § 1he 1aroL Carden [www.LaroLgarden.com]
18 8lbllcal ALroclLles
8all, Mark u., Þh.u. º8esL-Selllng Lrrancy: An Lssay on lnconslsLencles ln Lhe 8lble." lnLerneL lnfldels WebslLe
[lnfldels.org]. § 8lble, varlous verslons. § Morgan, uonald. º8lble ALroclLles." lnLerneL lnfldels WebslLe
[lnfldels.org]. § Walker, !lm. º1he uark 8lble: 1he ALroclLles." no8ellefs.com.
18 CelebrlLles lnvolved WlLh Lhe Church of SclenLology (selecLed sources)
Pausherr, 1llman. ºSclenLology CelebrlLles lAC." 1 !an 2003. § SclenLollywood webslLe [www.sclenLolly-wood.org].
19 Þrofanely-named 8ands (selecLed sources)
All Muslc Culde webslLe [www.allmuslc.com]. § WebslLes of varlous bands.
19 Sulclde noLes
Alverez, Alfred. ºAppendlx 8: Sulclde noLes: 19831984." ln 1he Savage Cod. 8andom Pouse, 1972, 1990. § klelner,
ArL. ºPow noL Lo CommlL Sulclde." news 1haL SLayed news-1974-1984: 1en ?ears of CoLvoluLlon CuarLerly.
norLh ÞolnL Þress, 1986.
20 lamous urlnkers of AbslnLhe
8aker, Þhll. 1he 8ook of AbslnLhe: A CulLural PlsLory. Crove Þress, 2001. § Conrad, 8arnaby, lll. AbslnLhe: PlsLory ln
a 8oLLle. Chronlcle 8ooks, 1988. § Lanler, uorls. AbslnLhe: 1he Cocalne of Lhe nlneLeenLh CenLury. Mclarland &
Company, 1993. § WlLLels, 8eLlna !., and 8oberL Permesch. Ld. by 1.A. 8reaux. AbslnLhe: Slp of SeducLlon. Corvus
20 Mlshaps 1haL MlghL Pave SLarLed nuclear War
8rlLLen, SLewarL: 1he lnvlslble LvenL: An AssessmenL of Lhe 8lsk of AccldenLal or unauLhorlsed ueLonaLlon of
nuclear Weapons and of War by MlscalculaLlon. London: Menard Þress, 1983. § Calder, nlgel:
nuclear nlghLmares. London: 8rlLlsh 8roadcasLlng CorporaLlon, 1979. § Þeace 8esearch 8evlew, 9.4 (1984), 9.3
(1984), 10.3 (1986), 10.4 (1986). uun-das, CnLarlo: Þeace 8esearch lnsLlLuLe. § Sagan, ScoLL u.: 1he LlmlLs of SafeLy.
ÞrlnceLon unlverslLy Þress, 1993.
21 8lbllcal ConLradlcLlons
8all, Mark u., Þhu. º8esL-Selllng Lrrancy: An Lssay on lnconslsLencles ln Lhe 8lble." lnLerneL lnfldels [lnfldels.org]. §
8lble, varlous verslons. § MerrlLL, !lm. ºA LlsL of 8lbllcal ConLradlcLlons." 24 !uly 1992. lnLerneL lnfldels
[lnfldels.org]. § Morgan, uonald (compller). º8lbllcal lnconslsLencles." lnLerneL lnfldels [lnfldels.org]. § Walker, !lm.
º1he uark 8lble: 1he ALroclLles." no8ellefs.com.
21 naLural Aphrodlslacs
Meyer, Clarence. Perbal Aphrodlslacs lrom World Sources. Meyerbooks, 1993.
23 Larly Cases of lnvolunLary Puman LxperlmenLaLlon
Lederer, Susan L. Sub[ecLed Lo Sclence: Puman LxperlmenLaLlon ln Amerlca 8efore Lhe Second World War. !ohns
Popklns unlverslLy Þress, 1993. § LxcepL lLem #21: Collszek, Andrew. ln Lhe name of Sclence: A PlsLory of SecreL
Þrograms, Medlcal 8esearch, and Puman LxperlmenLaLlon. SL. MarLln's Þress, 2003.
23 CuoLes 8egardlng Lhe 2003 lnvaslon of lraq
1. Þowell, SecreLary Colln L. ºÞress 8emarks wlLh lorelgn MlnlsLer of LgypL Amre Moussa," Calro, LgypL (lLLlhadlya
Þalace), 24 leb 2001. ÞosLed on Lhe SLaLe ueparLmenL webslLe [www.sLaLe.gov]. 2. Condoleezza 8lce on Cnn LaLe
LdlLlon WlLh Wolf 8llLzer, 29 !uly 2001. 1ranscrlpL from Lexls-nexls. 3. 1lme, 31 March 2003. 4. veLerans of
lorelgn Wars 103rd naLlonal ConvenLlon, 26 Aug 2002. 3. 8umlller, LllsabeLh. º8ush Aldes SeL SLraLegy Lo Sell
Þollcy on lraq." new ?ork 1lmes, 7 SepL 2002. 6. lCx news Sunday lnLervlew wlLh 1ony Snow, 8 SepL 2002. 7.
CenLral lnLelllgence Agency. ºlraq's Weapons of Mass uesLrucLlon Þrograms," CcL 2002. 8. 8ose Carden, 2 CcL
2002. 9. Address Lo Lhe naLlon, 17 Mar 2003. 10. Þress conference, 23 March 2003. 11. Cellman, 8arLon.
ºSpeclal Search CperaLlons ?leld no 8anned Weapons." WashlngLon ÞosL, 30 Mar 2003. 12. º1hls Week wlLh
Ceorge SLephanapolous." A8C, 30 Mar 2003. 13. Agence lrance-Þresse. º8llx: lraq War
Þlanned Long ln Advance." 9 Aprll 2003. 14. new ?ork 1lmes, 14 Apr 2003. 13. lnLervlew wlLh 1vÞ, Þoland, 29
May 2003. 16. 1homas, Lvan. ºCroplng ln Lhe uark." newsweek, 1 SepL 2003. 17. kamen, Al. ºMlsdlrecLed
MlllLary L-Mall Spllls Lhe 8eans." WashlngLon ÞosL, 13 CcL 2003. 18. º!esslca Lynch LamenLs MlllLary ÞorLrayal."
AssoclaLed Þress, 7 nov 2003. 19. 8urkeman, Cllver, and !ullan 8orger. ºWar CrlLlcs AsLonlshed as uS Pawk
AdmlLs lnvaslon Was lllegal." Cuardlan (London), 20 nov 2003. 20. lllklns, uexLer. º1ough new 1acLlcs by uS
1lghLen Crlp on lraq 1owns." new ?ork 1lmes, 7 uec 2003. 21. AssoclaLed Þress. º8lce: no Lvldence lraq Moved
WMu Lo Syrla." 9 !an 2004. 22. º1he Man Who knew." 60 MlnuLes ll, 4 leb 2004. 23. uncovered: 1he Whole
1ruLh AbouL Lhe lraq War. Þroduced and dlrecLed by 8oberL Creenwald. 2003.
24 1oxlc Chemlcals ln 8lll Moyers
8ody 8urden webslLe [www.ewg.org/reporLs/body-burden/].
23 lranlan 8ock 8ands
1ehranAvenue Muslc Cpen webslLe [www.Lehran360.com]
23 1lps for lnLerrogaLlng a Þrlsoner, lrom Lhe ClA
ºku8A8k CCun1L8ln1LLLlCLnCL ln1L88CCA1lCn." CenLral lnLelllgence Agency, !uly 1963. ueclasslfled !anuary
1997. Copy obLalned by 8uss klck on 14 !an 2004 Lhrough lClA requesL l-2004-00396.
31 ÞroducLs ConLalnlng Pard urugs
8ooLh, MarLln. Cplum: A PlsLory. SL. MarLln's, 1996. § Podgson, 8arbara. ln Lhe Arms of Morpheus. llrefly 8ooks,
2001. § karch, SLeven 8. A 8rlef PlsLory of Cocalne. C8C Þress, 1998. § ÞlanL, Sadle. WrlLlng on urugs. Þlcador,
2001. § AddlcLlon 8esearch unlL, ueparLmenL of Þsychology, unlverslLy aL 8uffalo, SLaLe unlverslLy of new ?ork.
º8efore ÞrohlblLlon." [wlngs.buffalo.edu/aru/preprohlblLlon].
32 ClgareLLe AddlLlves
lndlana ÞrevenLlon 8esource CenLer, lndlana unlverslLy. ºAddlLlves lound ln Amerlcan ClgareLLes," 2 Aug 1998.
[www.drugs.lndlana.edu] 32 lamous Þeople lnvolved ln 1rlads
losLer, 8arbara, Mlchael losLer, and LeLha Padady. 1hree ln Love: Menages a 1rols from AnclenL Lo Modern 1lmes.
ParperSanlranclsco, 1997. § 1homson, uavld. 8osebud: 1he SLory of Crson Welles. vlnLage, 1997.
33 names of uefense ueparLmenL lnLernal lnvesLlgaLlons
lrom documenLs released under a ueparLmenL of uefense lClA requesL flled by Mlchael 8avnlLzky. lull llsL posLed
aL 1he Memory Pole [www.Lhememoryhole.org].
34 ClA CrypLonyms (selecLed sources)
ºAbbrevlaLlons and CrypLonyms." ln lorelgn 8elaLlons, CuaLemala, 1932-1934. Cfflce of Lhe PlsLorlan, SLaLe
ueparLmenL. § ºClA crypLonym." Wlklpedla [www.wlklpedla.org].
36 8oLched LxecuLlons
1. uenno, ueborah W. ºls LlecLrocuLlon an unconsLlLuLlonal MeLhod of LxecuLlon? 1he Lnglneerlng of ueaLh over
Lhe CenLury." Wllllam & Mary Law 8evlew, 33: 331, 664-663 (1994). 2. lor a descrlpLlon of Lhe execuLlon by Lvans'
defense aLLorney, see: Canan, 8ussell l. º8urnlng aL Lhe Wlre: 1he LxecuLlon of !ohn Lvans." ln laclng Lhe ueaLh
ÞenalLy: Lssays on a Cruel and unusual ÞunlshmenL. (Mlchael L. 8adeleL, ed.). 1989. § See also Class v. Loulslana,
471 u.S. 1080, 1091-92 (1983). 3. 8ruck, uavld. ºueclslons of ueaLh." new 8epubllc (12 uec 1984): 24-3. §
SoloLaroff, lvan. º1he LasL lace ?ou'll Lver See." Lsqulre, 124 (Aug 1993): 90, 93. 4. º1wo Charges needed Lo
LlecLrocuLe Ceorgla Murderer." new ?ork 1lmes, 13 uec 1984: 12. § LdlLorlal, new ?ork 1lmes, 17 uec 1984: 22.
3. ºMurderer of 1hree Women ls LxecuLed ln 1exas." new ?ork 1lmes, 14 Mar 1983: 9. 6. ºklller's LlecLrocuLlon
1akes 17 MlnuLes ln lndlana Chalr." WashlngLon ÞosL, 17 CcL 1983: A16. § ºlndlana LxecuLes lnmaLe Who Slew
laLher-ln-Law." new ?ork 1lmes, 17 CcL 1983: 22. 7. ºklller Lends a Pand Lo llnd a veln for LxecuLlon." Los
Angeles 1lmes, 20 Aug 1986: 2. 8. ºAddlcL ls LxecuLed ln 1exas lor Slaylng of 2 ln 8obbery." new ?ork 1lmes, 23
!une 1987: A24. 9. ºurawn-ouL LxecuLlon ulsmays 1exas lnmaLes." uallas Mornlng news, 13 uec 1988: 29A. §
ºLandry LxecuLed for '82 8obbery-Slaylng." uallas Mornlng news, 13 uec 1988: 29A. 10. ºWlLness Lo an
LxecuLlon." PousLon Chronlcle, 27 May 1989: 11. 11. Applebome, ÞeLer. º2 !olLs ln Alabama LxecuLlon." new ?ork
1lmes, 13 !uly 1989: 6. § Archlbald, !ohn. ºCn Second 1ry, uunklns LxecuLed for Murder." 8lrmlngham news, 14
!uly 1989: 1. 12. 8arneLL, CynLhla. º1afero MeeLs Crlsly laLe ln Chalr." Calnesvllle Sun, 3 May 1990: 1. § 8arneLL,
CynLhla. ºA SLerlle Scene 1urns CroLesque." Calnesvllle Sun, 3 May 1990: 1. § Moss, 8lll. ºChalr Concerns ÞuL
ueaLhs on Pold." SL. ÞeLersburg 1lmes, 18 !uly 1990: 81. § 8lLchle, 8ruce. ºllames, Smoke Mar LxecuLlon of
Murderer." llorlda 1lmes-unlon (!acksonvllle), 3 May 1990: 1. § 8lLchle, 8ruce. º8eporL on llawed LxecuLlon ClLes
Puman Lrror." llorlda 1lmes-unlon (!acksonvllle), 9 May 1990: 81. 13. ºnlles Croup CuesLlons LxecuLlon
Þrocedure." unlLed Þress lnLernaLlonal, 8 nov 1992 (Lexls/nexls flle). 14. Allen, Mlke. ºCroups Seek Þrobe of
LlecLrocuLlon's unusual LvenLs." 8lchmond 1lmes-ulspaLch, 19 CcL 1990: 81. § Allen, Mlke. ºMlnlsLer Says
LxecuLlon Was unusual." 8lchmond 1lmes-ulspaLch, 20 CcL 1990: 81. § 8rown, ueneen L. ºLxecuLlon Þrobe
SoughL." WashlngLon ÞosL, 21 CcL 1990: u1. 13. Paywood, karen. º1wo !olLs needed Lo CompleLe LxecuLlon."
lree-Lance SLar (lrederlcksburg, vA), 23 Aug 1991: 1. § ºueaLh ÞenalLy CpponenLs Angry AbouL LaLesL LxecuLlon."
8lchmond 1lmes-ulspaLch, 24 Aug 1991: 1. § ºvlrglnla AlLers lLs Þrocedure for LxecuLlons ln LlecLrlc Chalr."
WashlngLon ÞosL, 24 Aug 1991: 83. 16. Cll-nesmlLh, Son[a. ºMoans Þlerced Sllence uurlng WalL." Arkansas
uemocraL-CazeLLe 26 !an 1992: 18. § larmer, !oe. º8ecLor, 40, LxecuLed for Cfflcer's Slaylng." Arkansas uemocraL-
CazeLLe, 23 !an 1992: 1. § larmer. !oe. º8ecLor's 1lme Came, Þalnfully LaLe." Arkansas uemocraL-CazeLLe, 26 !an
1992: 18. § lrady, Marshall. ºueaLh ln Arkansas." new ?orker, 22 leb 1993: 103. 17. Powe, Charles L. ºArlzona
klller ules ln Cas Chamber." San lranclsco Chronlcle, 7 Apr 1992: A2. § kwok, Abraham. ºln[ecLlon: 1he no-luss
LxecuLloner." Arlzona 8epubllc, 28 leb 1993: 1. § ºCruesome ueaLh ln Cas Chamber Þushes Arlzona 1oward
ln[ecLlons." new ?ork 1lmes, 23 Apr 1992: 9. 18. Creene, Wayne. º11-MlnuLe LxecuLlon Seemlngly 1ook lorever."
1ulsa World, 11 Mar 1992: A13. 19. ºAnoLher u.S. LxecuLlon Amld CrlLlclsm Abroad." new ?ork 1lmes, 24 Apr
1992: 87. 20. Craczyk, Mlchael. ºConvlcLed klller CeLs LeLhal ln[ecLlon." Perald. (uenlson, 1x), 8 May 1992. §
Wernsman, 8oberL. ºConvlcLed klller May ules." lLem (PunLsvllle, 1x), 7 May 1992: 1. 21. 8odrlguez, Alex, and
ScoLL lornek. ºCacy Lawyers 8lasL MeLhod: LeLhal ln[ecLlons under llre AfLer LqulpmenL MalfuncLlon." Chlcago
Sun-1lmes, 11 May 1994: 3. § Chapman, 8lch. ºWlLnesses uescrlbe klller's 'Macabre' llnal lew MlnuLes." Chlcago
Sun-1lmes, 11 May 1994: 3. § karwaLh, 8ob, and Susan kuczka. ºCacy LxecuLlon uelay 8lamed on Clogged lv
1ube." Chlcago 1rlbune, 11 May 1994: 1 (MeLro Lake SecLlon). 22. 8ecause Lhey could noL observe Lhe enLlre
execuLlon procedure Lhrough Lhe closed bllnds, Lwo wlLnesses laLer refused Lo slgn Lhe sLandard affldavlL LhaL
sLaLed Lhey had wlLnessed Lhe execuLlon. § ºWlLnesses Lo a 8oLched LxecuLlon." SL. Louls ÞosL-ulspaLch, 8 May
1993: 68. § C'nell, 1lm. º1oo-1lghL SLrap Pampered LxecuLlon." SL. Louls ÞosL-ulspaLch, 3 May 1993: 81. § SlaLer,
!lm. ºLxecuLlon Þrocedure CuesLloned." kansas ClLy SLar, 4 May 1993: C8. 23. ºSLore Clerk's klller LxecuLed ln
vlrglnla." new ?ork 1lmes, 23 !an 1996: A19. 24. 1he lnvolvemenL of Lhls anonymous physlclan vlolaLed rules of
boLh Lhe Amerlcan Medlcal AssoclaLlon and Lhe lndlana SLaLe Medlcal AssoclaLlon. § Ldwards, Sherrl, and Suzanne
Mc8rlde. ºuocLor's Ald ln ln[ecLlon vlolaLed LLhlcs 8ule: Þhyslclan Pelped lnserL Lhe LeLhal 1ube ln a 8reach of
AMA's Þollcy lorblddlng AcLlve 8ole ln LxecuLlon." lndlanapolls SLar, 19 !uly 1996: A1. § Mc8rlde, Suzanne.
ºÞroblem WlLh veln uelays LxecuLlon." lndlanapolls news, 18 !uly 1996: 1. 23. MarLln, uoug. ºllames LrupL from
klller's Peadplece." Calnesvllle Sun, 26 March 1997: 1. § Medlna was execuLed desplLe a llfe-long hlsLory of menLal
lllness, and Lhe llorlda Supreme CourL spllL 4-3 on wheLher Lo granL an evldenLlary hearlng because of serlous
quesLlons abouL hls gullL. 1hls puLs Lo resL any concelvable argumenL LhaL Medlna could have been gullLy ºbeyond
a reasonable doubL." Medlna v. SLaLe, 690 So.2d 1241 (1997). 1he famlly of Lhe vlcLlm had [olned ln a plea for
execuLlve clemency, ln parL because Lhey belleved Medlna was lnnocenL. ld., aL 1232, n. 6. Lven Lhe Þope appealed
for clemency. MarLln, op. clL. 26. Cverall, Mlchael, and Mlchael SmlLh. º22-?ear-Cld klller CeLs Larly LxecuLlon."
1ulsa World, 8 May 1997: A1. 27. ºklller Pelps Cfflclals llnd a veln aL Pls LxecuLlon." ChaLLanooga lree Þress, 13
!une 1997: A7. 28. Cannon was execuLed for a crlme commlLLed when he was 17 years old. § º1sL 1ry lalls Lo
LxecuLe 1exas ueaLh 8ow lnmaLe." Crlando SenLlnel, 23 Apr 1998: A16. § Craczyk, Mlchael. º1exas LxecuLes Man
Who kllled San AnLonlo ALLorney aL Age 17." AusLln Amerlcan-SLaLesman, 23 Apr 1998: 83. 29. Craczyk, Mlchael.
º8epuLed Marl[uana Smuggler LxecuLed for 1988 uallas Slaylng." AssoclaLed Þress, 27 Aug 1998. 30. Whaley,
Sean. ºnevada LxecuLes klller." Las vegas 8evlew-!ournal, 3 CcL 1998: 1A. 31. ºuavls LxecuLlon Cruesome."
Calnesvllle Sun, 8 !uly 1999: 1A. § Þrovenzano v. SLaLe, 744 So.2d 413, 440 (lla. 1999). § Melone, Mary !o. ºA
1hrown, and Cod Speaks." SL. ÞeLersburg 1lmes, 13 !uly 1999: 18. 32. Moore, 8on. ºAL LasL l Can be WlLh My
8ables." ScoLLlsh ually 8ecord, 4 May 2000: 24. 33. 8ragg, 8lck. ºllorlda lnmaLe Clalms Abuse ln LxecuLlon." new
?ork 1lmes, 9 !une 2000: A14. § Long, Þhll, and SLeve 8rousqueL. ºLxecuLlon of Slayer Coes Wrong, uelay, 8lLLer
1lrade Þrecede Pls ueaLh." Mlaml Perald, 8 !une 2000. 34. 8lmber, Sarah. ºWorklng ueaLh 8ow." new ?ork
1lmes, 17 uec 2000: 1. 33. ScoLL, uavld. ºConvlcLed klller Who Cnce Asked Lo ule ls LxecuLed." AssoclaLed Þress,
28 !une 2000. § LeLLer from aLLorney Cheryl 8aferL Lo Mlssourl Covernor Mel Carnahan, 30 !une 2000. 36. Cook,
8honda. ºCang Leader LxecuLed by ln[ecLlon: ueaLh Comes 23 ?ears AfLer 8oy, 11, Slaln." ALlanLa !ournal
ConsLlLuLlon, 7 nov 2001: 81.
36 CorporaLlons 1haL 8lpped off Lhe uS CovernmenL
CorporaLe Crlme 8eporLer. º1he 1op 100 lalse Clalms AcL SeLLlemenLs." 8eporL lssued 30 uec 2003. § 1axpayers
AgalnsL lraud, LducaLlon lund. lalse Clalms AcL and Cul 1am CuarLerly 8evlew, varlous lssues 1993-2004.
39 lamous Þeople Who used urugs
8ooLh, MarLln. Cplum: A PlsLory. SL. MarLln's, 1996. § Þalmer, CynLhla, and Mlchael PorowlLz. Shaman Woman,
Malnllne Lady: Women's WrlLlngs on Lhe urug Lxperlence. Culll (Wllllam Morrow), 1982. § ÞlanL, Sadle. WrlLlng on
urugs. Þlcador, 2001. § 8udgley, 8lchard. 1he Lncyclopedla of ÞsychoacLlve SubsLances. SL. MarLln's, 1998. §
ºCplum 1hroughouL PlsLory." ÞarL of Lhe WebslLe for Lhe lronLllne program º1he Cplum klngs." Þ8S, May 1997.
7. Colerldge, Samuel 1aylor. P.!. !ackson (ed.). Samuel 1aylor Colerldge: 1he Ma[or Works. Cxford Þress, 2000, pp
319-21. § Plll, !ohn Spencer. A Colerldge Companlon. Macmlllan Þress, 1983. ChapLer 3: ºkubla khan." 8. Cover,
ArLhur 8yron. ºverLex lnLervlews Þhlllp k. ulck." verLex, leb 1974. § MargoL, !oel. ºÞku lAC." 1993. 9. kaplan,
lred. ulckens: A 8lography. !ohns Popklns unlverslLy Þress, 1998. 10. Pall, uonald, and uock Lllls. uock Lllls: ln
Lhe CounLry of 8aseball. llreslde, 1989. § Mlkkelson, 8arbara and uavld Þ. ºuock Lllls." urban Legends 8eference
Þages [snopes.com]. 13. Crlnspoon, LesLer. Marlhuana: 1he lorbldden Medlclne. ?ale unlverslLy Þress, 1993. 16.
uonaldson, Maureen and Wllllam 8oyce. An Affalr Lo
8emember: My Llfe wlLh Cary CranL. ÞuLnam, 1989. § Parrls, W.C. CC, A 1ouch of Llegance. uoubleday, 1987. §
CranL, Cary ºArchle Leach." CurrenLly avallable aL [www.carygranL.neL/auLoblography/]. 19. !ames, Wllllam. 8ruce
kukllck. (Ld.). Wllllam !ames: WrlLlngs 1902-1910. Llbrary of Amerlca, 1988. § 1ymoczko, umlLrl. º1he nlLrous
Cxlde Þhllosopher." ALlanLlc MonLhly, May 1996. 20. º1ravellng uown Lhe lnformaLlon Plghway WlLh MlLchell
kapor." 1rlcycle, summer 1994. 24. Mullls, kary. uanclng naked ln Lhe Mlnd lleld. ÞanLheon 8ooks, 1998. 28.
Þaz, CcLavlo. 1ranslaLed by Pelen 8. Lane. lnLroducLlon Lo Mlserable Mlracle by Penrl Mlchaux. new ?ork 8evlew
of 8ooks, 2002. 34. 1he WalLer ScoLL ulglLal Archlve, Ldlnburgh unlverslLy Llbrary [www.walLerscoLL.llb.ed.ac.uk].
33. lnLervlew wlLh Susan SonLag. 1he SLaff of Plgh 1lmes. Plgh 1lmes CreaLesL PlLs. SL. MarLln's, 1994. 37.
Lemmo, 8oberL. ºÞoL, ÞesanLs and Þancho vllla." 1he SLaff of Plgh 1lmes. Plgh 1lmes CreaLesL PlLs. SL. MarLln's,
1994. PM. ualby, !. 1homas, Þh.u. ºSherlock Polmes's Cocalne PablL." lrlsh !ournal of Þsychologlcal Medlclne
1991, 8: 73-74. 8eprlnLed on Lhe WebslLe of 1he Slngular SocleLy of Lhe 8aker SLreeL uozen
[www.bakersLreeLdozen.com]. § uoyle, ArLhur Conan. Slgn of Lhe lour. 1890. 8eprlnLed aL llLeraLure.org.
42 lamous urlnkers of vln Marlnl
ÞendergrasL, Mark. lor Cod, CounLry, and Coca-Cola. 8aslc 8ooks, 2000. § ÞlanL, Sadle. WrlLlng on urugs. Þlcador,
2001. § Zacks, 8lchard. An underground LducaLlon. Anchor, 1999.
42+ 1hlngs 1haL Pave 8een Made CuL of Pemp
Perer, !ack. 1he Lmperor Wears no CloLhes (revlsed and expanded 1993 edlLlon). PLMÞ/Cueen of Clubs
Þubllshlng, 1993. § 8oblnson, 8owan !. 1he Pemp ManlfesLo. Þark SLreeL Þress, 1997. § uS ueparLmenL of
AgrlculLure. Pemp lor vlcLory (fllm). 1942. § uSA Pemp Museum [hempmuseum.org]
44 SubsLances 1haL Soup up ?our 8raln
uean, Ward, M.u. and !ohn MorgenLhaler. SmarL urugs and nuLrlenLs. SmarL ÞubllcaLlons, 1991. § uean, Ward,
M.u., !ohn MorgenLhaler, and SLeven Wm. lowkes. SmarL urugs ll. SmarL ÞubllcaLlons, 1993. § ÞoLLer, 8everly, and
SebasLlan Crfall. 8raln 8oosLers: lood and urugs 1haL Make ?ou SmarLer. 8onln Þubllshlng, 1993. § Lrowld webslLe
47 nuclear 1esLs by Lhe uS
nevada CperaLlons Cfflce, uS ueparLmenL of Lnergy. unlLed SLaLes nuclear 1esLs, !uly 1943 Lhrough SepLember
1992. uCL/nv-209-8Lv 13. uec 2000.
32 lLems from Lhe uelLa CollecLlon of Lhe Llbrary of Congress
varlous Llbrary of Congress documenLs perLalnlng Lo Lhe uelLa CollecLlon, as archlved by Lhe ManuscrlpL ulvlslon,
Llbrary of Congress. (uncovered by Mlchael 8avnlLzky. ln possesslon of Lhe auLhor.) 1hls lncludes Lhe arLlcle º1he
World's LewdesL Llbrary" by !ohn Cardener 8ace from an unknown, undaLed magazlne.
33 Companles 8eporLedly uolng 8uslness WlLh Lnemy naLlons
ºClvll ÞenalLles lnformaLlon," relaLed by Lhe Cfflce of lorelgn AsseLs ConLrol, ueparLmenL of Lhe 1reasury, 2003
Lhrough leb 2004. § ConfllcL SecurlLles Advlsory Croup webslLe [www.confllcLsecurlLles.com] § lraq's sLaLemenL
regardlng weapons programs, glven Lo un SecurlLy Councll ln uecember 2002.
36 Þulp novels
8lanco, uavld. º1he Peyday of Lesblan Þulp novels." ÞlaneLCuL webslLe, 19 !uly 1999. § 8ook Lm 8ooks webslLe
[www.bookembooks.com]. § 8ookScans webslLe [www.bookscans.com]. § vlnLage Þaperbacks & ulgesLs webslLe
63 Cay Anlmals
8agemlhl, 8ruce, Þh.u. 8lologlcal Lxuberance: Anlmal PomosexuallLy and naLural ulverslLy. SL. MarLln's Þress,
82 8rands of Peroln
8ooLh, MarLln. Cplum: A PlsLory. SL. MarLln's, 1996. § naLlonal urug lnLelllgence CenLer, uS ueparLmenL of !usLlce.
ºPeroln ulsLrlbuLlon ln 1hree ClLles." november 2000 § Cfflce of naLlonal urug ConLrol Þollcy, LxecuLlve Cfflce of
Lhe ÞresldenL. Þulse Check: 1rends ln urug Abuse. varlous lssues. § unslgned. ºSmashlng Þumpklns' keyboardlsL
ules of Peroln Cverdose ln new ?ork Amld Muslc lndusLry's AnLl-urug urlve." naLlonal urug SLraLegy neLwork,
87+ Þeople Mormons Pave 8apLlzed by Þroxy
AssoclaLed Þress. ºMormons MeeL WlLh !ews Cver 8apLlzlng PolocausL vlcLlms." 11 uec 2002. § uonovan, Clll.
ºMormons 8enew Þledge Lo Lnd Þroxy 8apLlsm of !ews." naLlonal CaLhollc 8eporLer, 27 uec 2002. § CsLllng,
8lchard n., and !oan k. CsLllng. Mormon Amerlca: 1he Þower and Lhe Þromlse. Parper Sanlranclsco, 1999. §
ºÞromlnenL Þeople Mormons Pave 8apLlzed by Þroxy." WebslLe of Mormonlsm 8esearch MlnlsLry
[www.mrm.org]. § Moore, Carrle A. ºÞroxy names SLlr up Llvely uebaLe." uesereL Mornlng news, 6 uec 2003.
1op 100 CorporaLlons Laylng off uS Workers uue Lo nAl1A
Congresslonal 8esearch Servlce. Memorandum: º8e: 1op 100 Companles 8eporLlng and CerLlfled as Sufferlng
nAl1A-8elaLed !ob 'Losses' (based on Lhe ueparLmenL of Labor uaLabase)." 1 uec 2003. Þubllshed on Lhe webslLe
of uS SenaLor 8yron L. uorgan [dorgan.senaLe.gov].
111 Þeople Who Are Lhe Sub[ecL of l8l llles
l8l lClA webslLe [fola.fbl.gov]. § C'8ellly, kenneLh. 8lack Amerlcans: 1he l8l llles. Carroll and CrafL, 1994. §
8oblns, naLalle. Allen lnk: 1he l8l's War on lreedom of Lxpresslon. 8uLgers unlverslLy Þress, 1992. § varlous
arLlcles from Lhe defuncL webslLe AÞ8news.com by !anon llsher, !oe 8ealrd, 1aml She-herl, and Mlchael 8avnlLzky.
813 Þeople kllled by 8ellglous 8lLuals and Cb[ecLs
1. Wallechlnsky, uavld. 1he Þeople's Almanac ÞresenLs Lhe 20Lh CenLury. Cverlook Þress, 1999. 2. 8euLers. ºClrl
Crushed by Cross aL 8roLher's Crave." 21 nov 2001. 3. AssoclaLed Þress. ºLlderly ÞrlesL Crushed by Peavy lron
CaLe." 21 uec 2001. 4. Celona, Larry, and Angellna Capplello. ºÞrlesL ls laLally SLrlcken aL ÞulplL." new ?ork ÞosL,
11 leb 2002. 3-6. AssoclaLed Þress. ºCouple Charged ln Þosslble Lxorclsm ueaLh." 20 !an 2004. § AssoclaLed Þress
and C8S news. ºMlnlsLer Charged ln Lxorclsm ueaLh." 27 Aug 2003. 7-183. 8ageh, 8awya. ºSLampede kllls 244 aL
Pa[[ Þllgrlmage." AssoclaLed Þress, 1 leb 2004. PM. kennedy, Les, and vanessa Wllson. ºLlghLnlng PlLs CaLhollc
College Clrls AfLer Mass." Sydney Mornlng Perald, 26 SepL 2001.
8ush lamlly values
Crove, Lloyd. ºLowdown." new ?ork ually news, 1 !an 2004.
Classlfled CuoLes 1 & 2
McCuLcheon, Chuck. ºLawmakers 1ake Alm aL Lxcesslve CovernmenL Secrecy." newhouse news Servlce, May
CorporaLe CuoLe #1
newsweek lnLernaLlonal, lebruary 1, 1999
CorporaLe CuoLe #2
unslgned. ºllak for lmperlal 1obacco aL ACM." Lvenlng ÞosL (8rlsLol, uk), 4 leb 2004.
1. Well, Andrew, M.u. 1he Marrlage of Lhe Sun and Lhe Moon: A CuesL for unlLy Consclousness. PoughLon Mlfflln,
1998. 2. klng, SLephen. Cn WrlLlng. Scrlbner, 2000. 3. ÞlanL, Sadle. WrlLlng on urugs. Þlcador, 2001. 4. SLaff of
Plgh 1lmes. Plgh 1lmes CreaLesL PlLs. SL. MarLln's 1994. 3. Cp clL, Well. 6. SLolaroff, Myron. 1hanaLos Lo Lros: 33
?ears of Þsychedellc LxploraLlon. 8erlln: verlag fur Wls-senschafL und 8lldung, 1994. 7. Cp clL., Plgh 1lmes. 8.
llsher, Carrle. ÞosLcards from Lhe Ldge. Slmon & SchusLer, 1987. 9. Cp clL., Well.
lederal lnvesLlgaLlve ÞrlorlLles 1 & 2
AssoclaLed Þress. º9/11 Þanel laces 1lme, Money Þressure." 21 !an 2003.
!udge LambasLes Þollce Abuse of ÞroLesLors
urlscoll, Amy. º!udge: l Saw Þollce CommlL lelonles." Mlaml Perald, 20 uec 2003.
1. 1horeau, Penry uavld. ºClvll ulsobedlence." 1849. 2. lrance, AnaLole. Le Lys rouge. 1894. 3. Þubllus Cornellus
number of Clvlllans kllled by 8omblng uurlng World War ll
knell, Permann. 1o uesLroy a ClLy: SLraLeglc 8omblng and lLs Puman Consequences ln World War ll. ua Capo Þress,
1he ÞowerdeaLh Clrls
uS lood and urug AdmlnlsLraLlon. ºluA LnforcemenL 8eporL," 8 CcL 2003.
Scorecard for Lhe uomesLlc ºWar on 1error"
1ransacLlonal 8ecords Access Clearlnghouse, Syracuse unlverslLy. ºCrlmlnal 1errorlsm LnforcemenL Slnce Lhe
9/11/1 ALLacks." 28 uec 2003.
SLupld CovernmenL 1rlck
Mackenzle, uebora. ºuS uevelops LeLhal new vlruses." new SclenLlsL, 29 CcL 2003.
unusual 8and #1
Agence lrance-Þresse. º'8urqa 8and': 1he Afghan Clrl 8and Made ln a uay." 3 Aug 2003.
unusual 8and #2
1ransplanL 8and's WebslLe [www.LransplanLband.com] § WebslLe of Mlchael Coleman [www.mlqel.com]
unusual 8and #3
SabbaLum webslLe [www.sabbaLum.com]
1he Wonders of ºPerbal" Medlclne
MedWaLch, uS lood and urug AdmlnlsLraLlon. ºMedlcal ÞroducL SafeLy lnformaLlon."
1he Wonders of Modern Medlclne, parLs 1 & 2
MedWaLch, uS lood and urug AdmlnlsLraLlon. ºMedlcal ÞroducL SafeLy lnformaLlon."
Worker SafeLy ÞrlorlLles, parLs 1 & 2
8arsLow, uavld. ºuS 8arely Seeks Charges for ueaLhs ln Workplace." new ?ork 1lmes, 22 uec 2003.
LlS1 6 CLher 8ooks and 3 uvus from Lhe
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