INTERESTING FACTS A: Did you know that you’ve got four miles of tubing in your stomach?

B: I beg your pardon. A: I said, did you know that you’ve got four miles of tubing in your stomach? B: (disinterestedly) No, no, I didn’t know that, no. A: It’s a good thing I’m ‘ere then isn’t it? You have, you’ve got four miles of tubing in your stomach all coiled up very tightly. It has to be coiled up very tightly otherwise the people in charge would never be able to cram it all in. ‘Course it’s not any old tubing they use, it’s a specialized form of tubing they use, it’s called intestines, and it folds up ever so small and that’s how they manage to cram it all in. Aren’t you interested in your intestines? B: (dismissively) Not particularly. A: Well you should be, you should be, ‘cause without your intestines you’d be unable to digest. Then you’d look a bit of a fool, wouldn’t you? Would you like to see a diagram of your intestines? I got a diagram of your intestines ‘ere. Well it’s not actually your intestines, unless it was you what modeled for it. It couldn’t have been you what modeled for it ‘cause you ‘ave to be dead before you can model for intestines. B: (emphatically) Do you! A: Yeah, so it’s not a very good job to ‘ave. Intestinal modeling is not a very good job to ‘ave. Not much call for intestinal modeling. See how far it has to go, the food? See how far it has to go? Four miles at one mile an hour. This means none of the food that reaches your stomach is ever really fresh. It’s all at least four hours old. B: (irritatedly) Fancy that! A: No, I don’t fancy that. Thank you very much indeed. I do not fancy that at all. I do not fancy that in the least tiny bit. I’ll tell you another interesting fact though. It’s about the whale. Did you know that the whale is not really a fish…..it’s an insect…. and it lives on bananas. B: The whale is an insect? I never heard such rubbish. A: I know. It’s a joke. I will tell you an interesting fact, it’s about the grasshopper. The interesting fact about the grasshopper is its disproportionate leaping ability due to its powerful hind legs. Hop, hop, hop it goes, all over arable land…. that is land what is actually tilled by Arabs. And I’ll tell you the interesting fact about the Arab, the interesting fact about the Arab is he can go for a whole year… he can go for a whole year on one grain of rice. That’s amazing isn’t it, all he needs is one grain of rice a year. INTERESTING FACTS 1

A: Is that a fact? How very interesting. flatulent. That’s the er. swivel-eyed. monotonous. they’d avoid a lot of trouble. No I get those muddled up ‘cause they’re next door to each other in the dictionary. that’s the mosquito. But the interesting fact…. INTERESTING FACTS 2 . cloth-eared. uninteresting. the interesting fact about the giraffe is this – if the giraffe could leap pound for pound as high as the grasshopper.B: A whole year on one grain of rice? A: No. flat-headed. tedious. fornicating little gits I ever laid eyes on. B: Shall I tell you something? You’re one of the most boring. B: What are? A: Mosquito and mosques.