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Assignment and
Relationship with
To: Muhammad Shah
From: Iftikhar Ahmed Jatoi E/45



Knowing one's emotion's OR Self Awareness : 5

Managing Emotions : 7

Motivating Oneself : 7

Recognizing emotions in others 8

Handling relationships 9





Websites: 16


Emotional intelligence (EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE) is one of the emerging socio-

psychological sciences that is gaining popularity and importance in almost all the
fields. It is the study of the emotions from their arousal to the decision taken during
that particular state.

The above ,mentioned study is the first of its kind in the world. ISLAM has given us a
complete code of balanced life from all angels and under all circumstance.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE tells us how to take intelligent decision during the
emotional state.

The above mentioned study is a historical research. it reveals that the researches
that the west is doing in the 20th century. ISLAM has taught us since the advent of
the humanity. It is the study of the blend of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and Islamic
teaching with special reference to the components of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

Emotional Intelligence, Islamic Perspective

Emotional Intelligence , often measured as an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ),

describes an ability, capacity or skill to perceive, Emotional Intelligence, assess, and
manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups. It is a relatively new
area of psychological research and the definition of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is
constantly changing. The publication of Daniel Goleman’s best seller “Emotional
Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” made the term EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE widely popular. ISLAM also does not lay much emphasis on
hereditary intelligence but stresses acquisition of emotional intelligence ,which can
be acquired

Daniel Coleman defines EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ," Abilities which include self
control, zeal and persistence and the ability to motivate oneself "

Steve Hein defines EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE as ,"The combination of innate

emotional sensitivity with learned emotional management skills which together lead
to long term happiness and survival"

According to Few psychologist and philosophers emotional intelligence can be

further divided into five domains

1-Self Awareness

2-Managing Emotions

3-Motivating oneself

4-Recognizing emotions in others

5-Handling relationships

ISLAM is not just a worship program, but a comprehensive, intelligent and practical
life system. ISLAM respects all the different components of the human being equally
and regulates them to their full potential, rather than suppressing them (which
hurts the individual), or setting them completely uncontrolled (which causes
damage to the community and environment). Emotions are given their due place of

importance in all Islamic teachings as fundamental elements of the human soul.
ISLAM teaches moderation in everything, aiming to create equilibrium so that one is
always at peace with one’s self, the universe, and Allah. It is advised to avoid
extremes in negative or positive emotions, as any extremes are destructive if left
uncontrolled. For example, extreme happiness leads to indulgence in excesses to
give a false sense of ‘celebration’. While extreme sadness leads to destructive to
one’s self and others (as in committing suicide or causing pain to others). Emotional
Intelligence features prominently in the Islamic code of conduct. ISLAM does not lay
much emphasis on hereditary intelligence (IQ) but its focus is on emotional
intelligence (EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE) skills which modern research has proved to
be acquired skills which could be learnt and practiced by everyone and which are
the true measure of success in practical life. For example, anger management,
social intelligence, empathy.

Let's have some insight on the 'emotional wisdom' ISLAM gives us and makes us
'Emotionally Intelligent'.

1-Knowing one's emotion's or self awareness :

Recognizing a feeling as it happens – is the keystone of emotional intelligence.
People with greater certainty about their feelings are better pilots of their lives,
having a surer sense of how they really feel about personal decisions.

ISLAM a great stress is laid on self awareness. A Holy Quran which says "

And be not like those who forsook Allah, so He made them forsake their own souls:
these it is that are the transgressors. (SURAH AL HASHR 59:9)

This Ayat stresses that to know your creator better you must know yourself better. If
we know our creator better then surely we will know ourselves better we will know
our own discrepancies better and we will learn what makes us 'humans' , superior to

Iqbal says

" Khudi ko ker buland itna ke her taqdeer say pehlay.....

Khuda banday say khud puchay bata taire raza kia hai"

Emotions are controlled by our psychomotors and it is interesting to not that the
psychomotors are in the most evident form mentioned in the holy Quran. And a
greater stress is laid on controlling and knowing our emotions.

Quran tells the humans that there are certain discrepancies in him that make his
emotions go wild at that critical moment they have to think that this world is just a
temporary place where they will spend some time this is not a permanent place.

An important concept relating to the concept of human nature from an Islamic

perspective is fitra. Fitra refers to the primordial state of man-his natural condition
and disposition. The optimistic view of human nature is rooted in this concept.
ISLAM posits that the natural state of man is a positive and ‘good’ state – one in
submission to God. This is related to the idea that all souls made a pledge with God
before earthly existence, acknowledging Him as their Lord

(Quran, 7:172). Even before we were born, or were conceived, our souls met with
Allah. The spiritual aspect of every human has therefore already experienced the
Divine. The defining experience of man in the Islamic perspective then, is not his
physical aspect, but his spiritual aspect. This spiritual aspect of man is what the
Quran, along with all spiritual traditions, appeals to. If early childhood experiences
are considered to impact strongly on an individual’s life (even if only unconsciously)
as suggested by Freud, the impact of such an experience going back to a time even
earlier, of course would be fundamental. According to an Islamic point of view this
explains the instinct in all individuals for right and wrong, (although in some it may
be buried more deeply than others).

The religious emphasis is thus more on the inner experience than an externally
imposed experience.. Due to the initial experience of union with God, a part of the
individual seeks that union again. This quest is often begun with a search for the
meaning of life. According to the Quran, the eternal aspect of each individual, the

soul, is on a journey and passes through various stages in life. The end point of this
journey though, as was the beginning, is God.

In Quran we are told:

“And now you have returned to Us alone, as We created you at first, leaving behind
all that we bestowed on you.” (SURAH AL ANAAM 6:94)

2-Managing Emotions :
Handling feelings so they are appropriate is an ability that builds on self awareness.
People who are poor in this ability are constantly battling feelings of distress, while
those who excel it can bounce back far more quickly from life's setbacks and

In ISLAM the concept of Managing emotions is a pretty easy and simple one. The
whole concept sums up in two easy points :

-Look at the people below us in worldly matters

-Look at the people above us in religious matters

This simple set of rules for managing emotions gives us inner content with what we
have and 'concentrate' on what is more important. ISLAM stresses on 'inner bliss'
and 'satisfactions'. There are many who earn a living, but fail to earn a life. ISLAM
first wants to stress more on life than living. And we have a accurate compass, no
matter how many times we fall, we'll be contented that because we know where we
are heading.

'' Qadam hain rah e Ulfat main to manzil ke hawas kaise

Yahan to ain manzil hai thakan say choor ho jana..........''

3-Motivating Oneself :
Marshalling emotions in the service of goal is essential for paying attention, for self
motivation and mastery and creativity. Emotional self-control –delaying gratification
and stifling impulsiveness—underlies accomplishment of every sort. And being able
to get into the "flow" state enables outstanding performance of all kinds. People
who have this skill tend to be more highly productive and effective in whatever they

Daniel Goelman in his book "working with Emotional Intelligence" writes:

"The single most striking finding from brain studies of people under stress –like
giving a talk in front of a critical

audience—shows the emotional brain at work in many ways that undermine the
workings of the brain's executive center, the prefrontal lobes, located just behind
the forehead. The prefrontal area is the site of "working memory", the capacity to
pay attention and keep in mind whatever information is salient. Working with
memory is vital for comprehension and understanding, planning and decision-
making, reasoning and learning. When the mind is calm, working memory functions
at its best. But when there is an emergency, the brain shifts into a self protective
mode, stealing resources from working memory and shunting them to other brain
sites in order to keep the senses hyper alert—a mental stance tailored for survival."

In ISLAM if we see there is much broader and clear cut concept of time
management. In The holy Quran Muslims are ordered to say their prayer many
times and it is mentioned

"For prayers are enjoined on believers at stated times" (SURAH AL NISA 4:103)

And it is best to say the prayers at the early time to achieve excellence. Time
Management begins with the concept of EXCELLENCE.

"Excellence is to do your best within the available resources"

There are thousands of such examples and incidents which explicitly speak of time
management and excellence concept of ISLAM hence giving us a chance to put in
our best and hence increase our EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

4-Recognizing emotions in others

Empathy, another ability that builds on emotional self awareness, is the
fundamental "people skill". As the states of mind, beliefs, and desires of others are
intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to
more effectively define another's mode of thought and mood. Empathy is often
characterized as the ability to

"put oneself into another's shoes", or experiencing the outlook or emotions of

another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance.

Putting oneself in others shoes is exactly what is described in the Holy quran

"O you who believe why you say what you don’t do yourselves'

And also there is a hadith on the topic saying

" None of you is a muslims until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself"

In the Prophet's life we can see all sorts of people coming to the prophet and
getting their solved this was because the prophet was well aware of the emotions of
others and what was going in their minds. This is why everyone who met The
Prophet felt relieved when he left. We are also encouraged to pray for others that
makes us feel for others.

The Holy Prophet said, " Whole Muslim Ummah is like a single body. When one part
of the body is hurt the whole body feels it".

5-Handling relationships

The art of handling relationships is, in large part, skill in managing emotions in
other. In ISLAM there is a great stress laid on that. ISLAM binds us in a brotherhood,
which has the principles of Equality and Love. When the Prophet came to Madinah
he told people to Love each other and for that he told them the tool of 'Greetings'.
Prophet SAW was the one who smiled the most and he never became angry. He told
us to be kind to our servants and forgive them on their mistakes. Everyone from
companions of the Prophet SAW felt that I am the closest to the Prophet. We are
told to keep equality amongst our brothers.

Prophet Muhammad S.A.W was undoubtedly the best EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE as

Michael h Hart has to say in his book the hundreds "The only person supremely
successful in both the religious and secular fields"

Emotional Intelligence (EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE) as it has been discussed by

various writers and researchers after the introduction of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE,
it will be compared it with the Islamic Teachings.

Salovey and Mayer says “Emotional Intelligence involves the ability to perceive
accurately, appraise and express emotion, the ability to access and generate
feelings when the facilitate thought; the ability to understand emotion and
emotional knowledge; ability to regulate emotions to promote emotional and
intelligence growth (Salovey, 1999).

Steve Hein defines emotional intelligence as” The combination of innate emotional
sensitivity with learned emotional management skills which together lead to long
term happiness and survival; (Hein1999).

Daniel Goleman defines emotional intelligence ‘Abilities which include self control,
zeal and persistence and the ability to motivate oneself. (Goleman, 1998)

According to Bellack , Janis P. “ Emotional Intelligence encompasses both personal

competence (i.e. the ability to manage oneself) and social competence(i.e the
capacity for relating to others). Personal competence involves self-awareness, self-
regulations, and motivation, it is reflected in such characteristics as self-confidence,
knowing one’s own strength and limits self-control of emotions; trustworthiness;
flexibility; being comfortable with new ideas change; initiative, drive, commitment;
influencing and inspiring others, managing change; resolving conflict and
cooperating and collaborating with others towards shared goals’. (Bellack, 1999)


Salovey expands the:

1. Knowing one’s emotions; it means self awareness and recognizing a feeling

as it happens. It is the keystones of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
2. Managing emotions: Handling feeling so they are appropriate in an ability the
builds on self awareness. People who are poor in this ability are constantly
battling feeling of distress, while those who excel in it can bounce back are
more quickly from life’s set back and upsets.
3. Motivate one self: Marshaling emotions in the service of a goal is essential for
paying attentions. For self motivation and mastery and for creativity.
Emotional self controlled people, have this skill and tend to be more highly
productive and effective in whatever they undertake.
4. Recognizing emotions in other: it is fundamental “ People skill” (Social Skill).
People with this ability come to know what other need or want . This skill
mage them better in caring profession like teaching, sales and management.
5. Handling relationships” the art of relationships is in large part skill in
management emotions, in others. This is the skill that under gird popularity ,
leadership, and interpersonal effectiveness, people who excel in these skills
do well at anything that relies on interacting smoothly with others they are
social starts. (Goleman, 1988)

The important component of EMOTIONAL
According to Steve Hein

• Self-awareness, knowing how you feel in ‘ real time’.

• Being able to label emotions precisely. Being able to talk about feelings with
• Empathy and compassion. The ability to feel and understand the emotions of
• Balance being able to make decisions using a healthy balance of emotions
and reasons.
• Responsibility. Taking primary responsibility for your own emotions and
happiness. Not saying that others made your feeling the way you feel.
(Salovey, 1999).

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is attracting the psychologists the world over. It has

been convincingly established that EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE matters twice as
much as cognitive abilities. It has often been observed that people of high IQ do not
do as well, as those of modest IQ, who surprisingly excel because of EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE, which means self awareness, self discipline and capacity to gauge,
understand and read the inner most feelings of others.

It is our every day experience that our decisions and actions are influenced more by
ore feelings than our thought. But unfortunately, of late, we have been over
emphasizing the importance of purely rational thinking in human life. Intelligence
alone is of no consequence, when emotions sway.

It is emotional and not the rational mind that arouses a person for action. Emotions
guide us in facing a situation and compel us to undertake tasks which are
emotionally too important to be left to intellect alone. We take risk even to the peril
of our life. History is replete with such examples where men have performed
wonderful deeds under the influence of emotions.

Here I would like to refer to the example of Hazart Ibrahim (AS), who jumped into
fire on the order of Allah (SWT) and the fire did not hurt him at all. At another
occasion Hazart Ibrahim (AS) presented himself for life Sacrifice when his father
conveyed him the message of Allah (SWT) to sacrifice the dearest thing for Him.
Again an animal (the historians and religious scholars have different opinion about
the animal) came and Allah (SWT) saved him on both the occasions he could have
given some thoughts but the blind of intelligence with emotions brought him to this
right decision only rational thought could have diverted him to some other decision.

When we are emotionally upset we say ‘we just can’t think straight’. Continue
emotional distress con create deficit in a child’s intellectual abilities, crippling the
capacity to learn. (Salovey, 1999)

Emotional Intelligence and ISLAM.

ISLAM is a comprehensive religion which covers all aspects of human life; social,
political, economical etc. it teaches us to live a balanced life. It teaches us to live
modest life under all circumstances. ISLAM forbids each and every act which blocks
the intellect of individual. It also forbids taking any decision during extreme
emotions. Suicide is forbidden as the Holy Qurans says.

‘………..and kill not yourself lo! Allah is ever merciful onto you’’. {VII:81.}

Guard yourself against tumul and discord as Allah says in His Holy Book Quran

…. And fear tumuled or oppression which effected not in particular (only) those of
you who do wrong and know that Allah is strict in punishment {VIII:25}

Creating mischievous is forbidden: the Holy Quran says

….. and those who break covenant of Allah after ratifying it, and severe that which
Allah hath commanded should be joined, and make mischievous in the Earth; their
is the curse and their the ill abode. {XIII:25}

Allah has forbidden rebellion

…. He forbids all shameful deed and injustice and rebellion: He instructs you, that
you may received domination. {XVI:90}

ISLAM instruct to rule with justice without yielding to selfish desires.

“ We said; with Dawud, We have made you vicegerent in the land. Rule with justice
among men and do not yield to lust, lest it should turn you away from Allah’s path’’

ISLAM does not keep a person disturbed forever, even if he commits some misdeed
and allows a person to refresh his mind and take new start in life.

The Holy Quran says:

…. And ask for forgiveness for their sins; and who can forgive sin except Allah?....

And are never obstinate in persisting knowingly (in the wrong) they have done
{III:135} (Rauf, 1988).

ISLAM is a perfect religion with a complete guidance for all human beings. Allah
loves who repent and cleasue, who are fair and just (interpersonal skill). The Holy
Qurans Says,

“Nay, But (The chosen for Allah is) he who fulfilled his pledge and warded off (evils,
for lo! Allah loved those who ward off (evil). (III:76) (Rauf,1988)

Allah loves who excel in kindness (Empathy)

… but forgive them and overlook (their misdeeds): for Allah loved those who are
kind.{V:13} (Rauf,1988).

Allah loves who fulfill their pledge (Interpersonal skill and empathy)

…..So fulfil you engagements with them to the end of their term; for Allah loved the
righteous. {IX:4} (Rauf, 1988).

Allah (SWT) dislikes who are proud and walk in insolence (weak in inter and intra
personal skill). As the Holy Quran says

….And swell not they check (for pride) at men nor walk in insolence through the
earth; For Allah loved not any arrogant boaster’. {XXXI:18} (Rauf, 1988).

Allah dislikes who are wrong doers (No empathy).

…. For (Allah) loved not those who do wrong. {XLII:40} (Rauf, 1988)

All of the above quoted references are from the Holy Quran covers the
competencies of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. There is a great need to study the Holy
Quran which stresses a lot on the quality of the humans. If the human beings are
developed with quality, organizations will automatically become quality
organizations and can certainly bring revolutions from all angles.

ISLAM has forbidden all those acts which blocks the intellect of a person. Anger and
drinking in forbidden is ISLAM as it blocks the thinking process.

Islamic history is of full of such examples.

A slave girl of Imam Hussain (My God be please with him) breaks a bowl while
bringing water for him. This bowl had immense emotional love form Imam, for it was
the bowl used by the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) for drinking water. Imam’s face
turns red with rage. The Poor little girl is terrified. But suddenly, the Imam’s rage
disappears, when the girl recites verse form the Holy Quran.

“And those who control their anger” (3:134)(Ali, A.Y.)

Imam says , I have overcome my anger. The girl recites the next verse,

“And those who forgive people” (3:134)(Ali,A.Y)

Imam says, “I have forgiven you” She then recites the third verse”,

Allah loves those who are benevolent”, (3:134)(Ali, A.Y)

Imam says, “I have free you”.

This is a classical example where a rage turns into an extreme act of kindness,
Imam, due to divine guidance, not only controls his emotions, but goes far beyond
to treat her with mercy and kindness. This was possible because Quran is apart of
our faith and we are committed to follow its teachings. We can drive immense
advantage from the Holy Quran and the life of the Prophet (SAW). The relationship
between the Muslims and their prophet is not formal or legalistic. It is a
commitment to live in his shadow. Which makes it highly personal and imparts it a
spiritual glow. At the same time it is a pace setter for social behavior and collective
action. In influencing human behavior and the life stream of history, he is peerless.
He is a role model not only for the Muslims but for the entire human race.

The Quran and the Prophet reaches self control respect for the feeling of your fellow
beings not to lose hope even under the worst of circumstance. It teachers
perseverance to face the adverse situation. Quran ordains “Ehsan” i.e to do more
than justice with all human beings. It has delineated the limits of human action.
Rights of the parents, neighbors, travelers and other relations in family life have
clearly been demarcated.

For the development of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE we must benefit from the

Quranic Teaching and the life of our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) who set an
excellent example of emotional restraint under most tens and trying tortured him
throughout his life.


1. Ali, A.Y, The Holy Quran Darul Arabia Al Tavai wa Nasr o Tauzee”. Bairoot
3. Bellack, Janis P. Journal of Nursing Education , V.38 no. 1 (Jan 99).
4. Daniel Goleman, “Emotional Intelligence” Bantom Book Publishing Co. 1998.
5. Salovey , and Mayer “Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence”.
Bantom Books Publishing Co; NY, 1997.
6. Shaikh Abdul Rauf, “The Vision” Selection from the Holy Quran, Publishing
Elite Publisher (Pvt) Ltd. Karachi Pakistan 1988.
7. The publication of Daniel Goleman’s best seller “Emotional Intelligence


1. Steve Hein: