~Y()lJ·l'JG~ Ivl0THERS' IJREAMS

YOUNG MOTHERS' DREAMS

Waterways Project Publication

Barbara Fisher & Richard Spiegel co-directors

Alison Komer - Editor

Alicia Clifford - Site 'Thacher Filomena Rosario - Director Thomas PerryC.U.N.Y. Intern

Stephen E. Phillips, Superintendent Office of Alternative High Schools and Programs

Richard Organisciak- Principal

G) 1991 The Waterways Project of~n Penny

Players, Inc. /

Support for the Waterways Project 1s provided by partici pa ting

schools, the New York State Councll on the Arts, the Office of Alternative High Schools and Programs

& I-IarperCollins Publishers

CONTENTS:

AnaG. Angela S. Denise N. Erica E.

Gina P. Janet V. Joanna V. Kaunta M. Kia N.

Lisa S. Loretta A. Marie S. Mary R. Roxanne N. Sophia A. Tamara D. Tashi B. Umukiga G.

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3

4-9

10 11-12 13

14 15-18 19

20 21-23 24 25-26 27 28-29 30

31

32 33-34

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Ana G.

I AM

I am a little girl living in a woman's world. I wonder if there's anything better than

bringing up my little girl.

I hear her cries. I see her tears.

I want to believe in my little girl, but I live in fear.

I am a little girl living in a woman's world.

I understand being a mother is hard.
I say I'ln s.:.rry, but she dc.esn' t know
how I feel.
I try t.:. make myself understand, but it gets
harder.
I hope life isn't as bad for her as it is
f or me.
I am a little girl living in a woman's world. I pretend not to hear her cry.

I feel I'm neglecting her in a time of need. I touch her face and feel much pain.

I cry 'cause I'm in pain and I don't know I what to do or say.

I am a little girl living in a woman's world.

1

3

Angela S.

LOVE IS GONE

When you lied, I 1 et it go. When you c r i ed I was there.

When you cursed me,

I ignored it all. When you walked away,

I thought nothing of it. When you came home latep

I asked, ItAre you hungry?OI But when you hurt me

time and time again, that's when love is gone.

Angela s.

DON'T HURT ME

Looking at -you I see colors of fiery orange

and red set in your eyes Like that of the sunset. Forcing a smile onto my-face To hide the fear

Of your hurting me

Once again

Wondering--what have I done to you To make you hate me

As YOLI do?

As I prepare for bed

My last word is your name Falling into a deep sleep I begin to dream

Somehow you enter

With that look in your eye And I wake up screaming,

"PI ease don" t hurt me anymor e! ..

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Angela s.

PURPLE PAIN

If my world is not becoming to you then you should not be coming to me is what I said.

Yes, I invited you in, but now I see you have no grace,

please find your mind and take the air.

Excruciating pain and a purple heart-for I was wounded by you severely

and still stand strong.

I gave you back yours ••• Just give me back my space,

search for another and don't think of me

for I'm a watercolor

I wash off.

6

Angela S.

WHO AM I?

Sometimes I wonder, who am I? A face, a voice, a soul

OY' a body?

Who am I?

Who am I to other people? What do they see?

My parents say I'm a child,

To my teacheY', I'm a challenge,

A grade, a problem, and sometimes Hop e ,

Wh.::. am I?

A stranger's worst nightmare, A child's mother,

My enemies see me as a threat ~

For everything they think about

Fails them. \1

My husband says I'm a headache, HemorY'hoid, and beautiful flower.

To my friends I'm a joker, a target, And a game to be played.

But no! Who am I?

Itm a person holding onto the deepest Love of all kind--a survivor and a

Ch il d c. f God.

And for that reason I stand for good.

Whc. am I?

"1

Angela S.

BE STRONG

Those that are strong

are the ones that will survive, they can see beyond the visible, challenge the impossible,

handle any pain, sorrow, grief, or disappointments,

for tomorrow

could very well be theirs. When the light goes out

and the walls of hope and glory come tumbling down,

only the strong will still be standing. Will you be standing

or will you be down?

8

Angela s.

MY HOUSE

Everyone who walks through the door feels immediately at home.

Colors of spring fill your eyes, the scent of sweet roses

pass across your nose,

tender words of kindness

rush to your ears.

Healthy foods of life seek your mouth. Gentle hands of delicacy always reach out for your touch.

. ~

Laving and caring holds a place of its own, your heart,

which it will never

want to let go.

This is my house that satisfies me

and all others who enter.

May God watch over this house for it will always be a symbol of love.

i

II

Denise N.

I am a nice, respectable person.

I wonder why babies cry. 'Cause they want love and affection.

I touch a baby when he needs love

and affection.

I worry when I don't feel good and get sick. I cry when my feelings get hurt.

I am a loving person when I am around respectable people, family, and loved ones.

I understand a down-to-earth person when they explain things to me.

I say to myself, I wish the world never ends.

I dream things that I never dreamed before. I try to live a pleasant, peaceful life with my family.

I hope I have a healthy, beautiful, smart, bright baby.

I am a loving, peaceful person.

10

Erica E.

I am a young moth~r.

I wonder who I'll be in the future. I hear a lot of music.

I see a lot of violence in the streets. I want my own house.

I am a young mother.

I pretend to be happy. I feel a lot of love.

I touch my daughter's love. I cry with sadness.

I am a young mother.

I understand that I have to love my daughter. I say I wnat to be happy.

I dream about being happy with my husband

and daughter in our own house. r try to be happy with my husband. I hope to be someone in th~ future. I am a young mother.

11

Erica E.

Yo soy una madre joven.

Yo diceo saber que voy hacer in el futuro. Yo digo mucha musica.

Yo veo mucha violencia en la calle. Yo quiero mi propia casa.

Yo soy una madre joven. Yo aparento su feliz. Yo tengo mucho amor.

Yo toco el amor de mi hija.

Yo mi preocupo por el futuro de mi hija. Yo lloro de tusteJa.

Yo soy una madre joven.

Yo entendiendo que tengo que amor a mi hija.
Yo digo que quiero ser feliz.
Yo diceD ser feliz con me esposo, mi hija,
y mi propria casa.
Yo trato de ser feliz can mi esposo.
Yo diceo ser alguien en el futuro.
Yo soy una madre joven. 12

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Gina P.

POEM

I am a young lady who loves to sing. I wonder how it would be for me to be a singer.

r hear little voices singing while I'm

sleeping.

I see little me singing on stage.

I want to sing all around the world. r am a young lady who loves to sing.

I pretend to be a dancer.

I feel that I will be a famous singer. I touch the people in my dreams.

r worry that someone won't like my singing. I cry when people say singing is boring.

I am a young lady who loves to sing.

I understand that singing takes time and

practice.

r say that we are all equal.

r dream about being a famous singer. I try to reach out to people.

I hope this world can be at peace.

I am a young lady who loves to sing.

13

Janet V.

I AM

I am a very insecure person.

I wonder when 1 am going to marry my guy. I hear his heart beating next to mine.

I see his handsome body every day.

I am a very insecure person.

I pretend to do crazy things. I feel so emotional.

r worry when he doesn't call. I cry when I am lonely.

I am a very insecure person.

I understand that it can't be.

r say, if you care, you sacrifice. I dream of having a family.

I try to live without you, but it aint easy. I hope everything works out between us.

I am a very insecure person.

14

.Jo ann a V.

1 AM FPIENDLY

I am a friendly person.

I wonder what I'm going to be in the future. I hear voices calling my name out loud.

I see people surrounding me.

I want a better life.

I am a friendly person.

I pretend to be a dancer.

I feel that I'm going to be famous. I touch wonderful things.

I worry about myself once in a while.

r cry lying on my bed on my own sometimes. r am a friendly person.

I understand the way I feel for my loved ones. I say wonderful things.

I dream of being a famous dancer. I try to be sweet and kind.

I hope people like me the way I like them. I am a friendly person.

15

Joanna V.

Jonathan was born on January 28th at 8:45 PM and as soon as he came out, I

breast fed him and 1 went and took a shower and then they took him to my room. They brought the baby at 8:30 in the morning. So I breast fed him and he stayed with me the three days 1 stayed in the hospital in the room with me. I fought with the doctors because I wanted him to stay in the room with me.

I was happy when I went home; everybody was crazy about him. Not too long ago, I didn't feel good and the baby was waking me up three times in the night. I was losing my temper and I was screaming at him and I was going to hit him, but my boyfriend took him away from me.

I went to the bathroom "and put cold water on my face, then I went to my room and I grabbed the baby and I was hugging him and crying and saying, I'm sorry. Since that time, I haven't treated him like that.

Every weekend we take pictures of him and take him to his grandmother's house so she can see him.

--,

MY F.:DOTS

My parents come from Puerto Rico. In the 50's and 60's, it was pretty poor over there; there was no T.V., no radio. The fourteen brothers and sisters didn't have much clothes to go to school, so half of them had to drop out and go to work to bri~g food and clothes to the house to help the younger .:.nes.

Then, later in the years, things started getting better. Half of them got married and got their own places and are doing pretty good. Now there are only five aunts and two uncles. They are all married except for one uncle. He is still with my grandmother. My grandmother still lives in the same house. She has everything she

needs.

Now, where my grandmother lives, it's gotten real bad. All you see is drugs and a lot of teenagers who are pregnant. Some of them are so young that they aren't even teenagers. -Now it is real dangerous--after 8:00 PM, it's not safe to go in the street. All YC'L! see is a lot of fights. I thin!~ things should have stayed like the old days, even if they were so poor. Things weren't dangerous like they are now.

17

Kaunta M.

Raining on eaY'th

means weeping in heaven my fatheY' once told me.

Maybe

a baby staY' wandeY'ed too far.

Maybe the moon

stuck its head out too soon and someone in space scratched up its face.

Maybe the sun was not feeling well. You never can tell.

YCIU aY'e so 01 d

it may have caught cold.

Raining on ecwth

means weeping in heaven my father once told me.

lR

Joanna V.

BEING A TEENAGE MOM

It's wonde~ful to be a teenage mom

Because you have time to be with your son. You can help him grow up to become someone In the future. He will help you in life When he's grown up.

That is, if you take him on the right track And not the wrong one.

But first, you have to knowBefore you teach him-

What is right and wrong.

You can show him the kind of good friends He should have, that won't take him

On the wrong track, and show him love

So he'll learn to give love to others. It's a lot of work being a teenage mom.

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1(1a N.

I AM

I am a very special person, and loving, too. r wonder if I could fly like an eagle?

I hear sounds that have no body.

I see ghosts of my past families.

r want to crawl faster than a squirrel.

I am a very special person, and loving, too.

I pretend to be a princess of ancient times. I feel like a cartoon character.

I touch a lot of unicorns every week. I worry about my mother's well-being. I cry when something sad happens in

a p i c t ur e ,

I am an ancient princess of long ago.

I understand I have a life of my own.

I say I should have graduated from school. I dream I'm in a faraway land.

I try very hard to complete my education. I hope I become a doctor.

I am a very important person.

20

Lisa s.

DEEP DOWN

Deep doWn, Deep down, Deep down, Deep down, Deep down, Deep down, Deep down,

I feel alone

my heart has no home I'd love to marry you

I know I'll end up hurting you I know you love me

I wonder, do I lov~ you? I know I need you

Deep down

Lisa S.

I AM

I am a young designer

I wonder how high I'll go in the world I hear them callout my designs

I see my designs in a fashion show I want to be a top designer

I am a young designer

I pretend someone is modeling my designs I feel like I'm on top of the world

I touch the silk of my dresses

I worry, will it all end?

I am a young designer

I understand life is hard I say I'll make it

I dream that I'll have everything I try to be a good person

I hope I'll be good in everything I do I am a young designer

22

Lisa S.

DREAM OF YOU

Why I dream of you?

I shall never know. It always happens when I'm feeling low.

Maybe it's because 1 love you and you never

make me feel blue?

My he~rt beats in such a motion because of all my emotions.

Why do I dream of you?

It's because

you make me feel new.

Lisa S.

F~. I.C.A.R.D.O.

F~ = F~ainstorm I = I nn oc ent C = Ca.ring

A :::: Adorable

F.: = Rebell i ou a

D =, "Dub ie", Dar ing

o = Outstanding, Original

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Loretta A.

I am a broken-hearted person.

I wonder--will I get my sons back soon? I hear them crying in my sleep.

I see them when they are not there. I want them with me so bad.

I am very, very lonely without them!

I pretend sometimes that I am actually taking them shopping by my side.

I feel that with God's help I will get them back very soon.

r worry a lot that I won't have an apartment for them to come to.

I cry sometimes wh~n I don't get to see them.

I am so very, very lonely without them.

I understand that they are in good hands with my sister, but I still miss them very much.

I say again that with the help of God, things will be all right.

I dream about the day when we will be a real family.

I hope that one day I will actually be drugfree and really be a mother to them.

I am 50 very, very lonely without them.

?h

Mar ie S.

I AM

I am a shy girl who 1 ikes t o sing.

I wonder where I will be five years from now. I hear millions of fans screaming my name.

I see a brilliance of bright light shine.

I want to be goad at what I do.

I am a shy girl who likes to sing.

I pretend that I'm Anita Baker or Regina Bell. I feel like my body has been lifted over

the rainbow.

I touch the clear blue water from the sea where I learned to swim.

I worry about the aggravation my life has become.

I cry when I'm lonely and unwanted. I am a shy girl who likes to sing.

I understand I can't have everything in life. I say we're all the same kind.

I dream of becoming a professional dancer. I try to help the young kids achieve

their g.:oals.

I hope that this war of drugs and violence ends in pea.:e.

I am a shy girl who likes to sing.

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Mar ie S.

IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS

If I had a million dollars, I would b the happiest woman alive. The first thing would do with my million dollars is do a I. of clothes shopping for me and my two kids, Then I would buy a house for me, my husbant and my two kids to live in, a convertible car, and a fancy dog house for my pit bull. Then I would want to put my children in a PI' i vate 5.:ho.::.l.

Plenty of times I would watch the commercials on T.V. about the starving children and babies in South Africa, and ho they would ask to donate for a child. I always wanted to, but couldn't afford to. But with a million dollars, 1 would donate to th~ needy, so ~hey can have a better lif£ and a second chance.

And last but not least, whatever remains if I pass away, I would like to divide among my two children, with all my belongings. And that's what I'd do if I had a million dollars.

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Mary R.

I am a nice person who cares about others.

I wonder what people think about what they're going to do in life.

r hear about what some people want to do with their lives.

r want to help the people who use drugs because it's not good for their health!

I feel that they can get help.

I am a young girl who cares about people's lives.

I see a lot of people and it's bad that they die fay the drOgs.

r am that young girl who wants to help other people if I can--because I love them. Beautiful thoughts!

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Roxanne N.

MY THREE SONS

My three sons are very special to me.

Each one of them has his own special way about him.

My oldest son's name is Josian. Josian was born August 11, 1'387. I love him very much. There are things he does that remind me of when I grew up.

Robert is second-born and he has special ways, too. Robert was born on March 15, 1989.

Robert and Josian get along very well.

They fight one another sometimes, but they are very close. When r go to see them, both of them tell me that they love me very much and want to go home with me.

My last son's name is Roosevelt.

"Roosevelt was born on January 19, 1991. He is a baby. Robert and Josian love him very much. Roosevelt likes bright colors and likes to smile; he is a very smart baby.

Robert and Josian don't know their real father and ask about him a lot. Right now, they like Roosevelt's father, Ricky, and

c a l I him, "Daddy."

My three sons are very special kids.

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Roxanne N.

WHAT DRUGS CAN DO TO yOU

Drugs can take all you make in one day. Drugs Can destroy a whole family from mother to father, sisters, and brothers.

You don't live long.

Unborn babies are hooked for life. Drugs destroy brain cells; you might

get AIDS; you lose a lot of friends and of course your money. Drugs take your last money for food. It causes you to sell'your baby's clothes. You can lose your home and BeW will take your children away.

Keep using drugs and this will happen to you!

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r-:rr

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D is for the DAF~LING that she is
A is fe.r ALL that she can be
N is fe.r the NEAT dresser that she is
I is for how INQUISITIVE she is
E is for he.w EXCITING she can be
L is for the LOVING person she is
L is for the LIGHT that she has shown me
E is f or EVERYTHING she is and everything
she is to me, that's why she's
DANIELLE I am a wanderer.

I wonder where I'll be. I hear voices.

I see people dying. I want a family.

I am a wanderer.

I pretend to be happy. I feel l one l y,

I touch my baby.

I cry about being lonely. I am a wanderer.

I understand about love. I say funny things.

I dream of having a house and a family. I try to be a good mother.

I hope to accomplish something in life. I am a wanderer.

r

Tamara D.

I is for how INTELLIGENT she is V is for how VIVACIOUS she is

o is because she is OUTSTANDING R is because she is RAVISHING

Y is because she is very young, Just four weeks •••

My baby IVORY is a doll!

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Tashi B.

J is for the JUSTICE in the world
I would want f or my baby
U is for how UNIQUE he is
S is f or the SUNLIGHT in his eyes
T is for how TINY he is
I is f or the INTRIGUING things he does
N is f or how NIMBLE he is All this spells JUSTIN, he's my son and I love him.

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Umukiga G.

OVERCOMING DRUG ADDICTION

Through my journey on drugs I felt so alone,

Never getting any sleep, No one wanted me at home. They called me a liar

And said I'm a thief,

But I didn't care

'Cause drugs meant the world to me. Since I sold my heart, mind, body,

and soul

For two or three--

From this drug I'd never be free Until I realized there was more That life could offer me

If I believed in my children and me. Now that I believe in me,

I found true love, my children love me. All the while I sold myself for crack, I thought to myself, there is no coming

back.

I was blinded by it and couldn't see That my family really did love me. They wanted me to stop and offered

help to me,

But instead I chose S-

But now I'm five months clean

Through the blessing of my higher power, The Lord Jesus Christ, praise the Lord

and hallelujah!

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UmLlkiga.13.

FREE OF DRUGS--AT PEACE

Sometimes I wonder, Sometimes I think

Is this really a world of peace and love? Is it really a world of war

in a world of mankind?

Are we blind with a little bit of wine? Are We blind with a little bit of crack? That is wack!

Are we blind with a little bit of weed That feeds on oLlr brain--

On ':'Llr brain?

And are we blind with a little bit of ice That makes LIS nice?

Well, think,

Wake LIP and say

I am free from drugs

And 1 will live in peace.