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Chapter 6: Directness in Good News and Neutral Messages Teaching Suggestions This chapter introduces students to one of the

standard organizational approaches in business writing: the direct organizational pattern. Because this pattern is used ost fre!uentl" in situations in which the reader will react positi#el" or neutrall"$ Chapter 6 discusses the direct pattern in this rhetorical conte%t. But an" of the following suggestions for teaching Chapter 6 will also appl" to teaching students to write the other t"pes of essages discussed in Chapters &' ( )e.g. negati#e*news essages$ persuasi#e essages$ e plo" ent docu ents+. ,ecture*Discussion -ou can begin with a brief lecture that presents an o#er#iew of the direct approach and the conte%ts in which it is appropriate or not appropriate. Students a" be as.ed to assess either in an online or face*to*face discussion their own co unication st"le. /re the" direct co unicators0 1ndirect co unicators0 /lthough "ou will discuss the indirect approach ore thoroughl" in Chapter &$ "ou a" also as. students to reflect on a ti e when the" recei#ed a essage directl" that should ha#e been co unicated indirectl" or #ice #ersa. ,ecture notes for Chapter 6 to acco pan" the Chapter 6 2ower2oint presentation appear below. 1nstructors should e phasize that the te%t suggestions are not for ulas3 students ust use the s.ills the" learned in Chapter 4 to understand their writing goals and audiences and ad5ust their essages accordingl". 6 phasis should be gi#en to de#eloping logical approaches to proble sol#ing so that students see their co unication goals as tied to their business goals. 1llustration /fter presenting the lecture$ "ou a" want to refer to the good and bad essage e%a ples in the Chapter 6 2ower2oint and ha#e students anal"ze and articulate what happened in the writing that a.es the good essage better than the bad essage )e.g.$ the ain point is at the beginning$ the writing is ore co plete and the language ore precise+. -ou a" also want to create good7bad e%a ples fro the proble sol#ing cases at the end of the te%t as additional discussion and illustration opportunities. Criticis of Student Messages Students should write a direct essage as an assign ent for this chapter. /fter writing a draft$ students can bring their wor. to class for peer editing. /s a guide for peer editing$ "ou a" want to de#elop a for based on "our grading rubric for the assign ent. Students should be re inded that a peer editor is not a 8fi%er9 or cop" editor. The peer editor is si pl" to react to the for at$ content$ and correctness. The writer is ulti atel" responsible for the content. 1f the writer disagrees with the peer editor$ the writer is not obligated to a.e the editor:s changes. Before beginning the one*on*one editing$ "ou a" want to discuss a few drafts as a class$ identif"ing strategies that ha#e better pro ise than others. /fter assign ents are returned$ "ou can show e%a ples of indi#idual sentence or entire essages that were done well or that could still use wor.. ;riting Contests /nother option to oti#ate students to produce good essages is to hold writing contests. The 5udges are the students. The" read the essages$ grade the $ and deter ine the winners. / prize a" be bonus points.

Specificall"$ this plan wor.s as follows. ;e di#ide the class into groups of fi#e or si% students. 6ach group grades the essages of another group< a.ing detailed co ents on papers in the process. 6ach grading group selects the best essage in the group being graded. ;e gi#e bonus points to the writer of these essages. The grades gi#en on all essages are the grades we record$ but we per it an"one who is not satisfied with his or her grade to sub it the essage to us for ree#aluation. =suall" no ore than >? percent do so. ;e li.e this plan because it gi#es the students a #iew of the other side of the fence. The" learn to appreciate the proble s in grading. /lso$ we thin. grading is a #er" producti#e learning e%perience. @ecognition of Good ;or. /nother effecti#e eans of increasing student interest is si pl" to recognize good wor.. 1f "ou ha#e a class website or use a class anage ent tool such as Blac.board$ ;ebCT$ or DesireA,earn$ "ou can post the best essages as e%a ples for current students. 6!uall" good results co e fro showing the best papers on a screen if students agree to ha#e their wor. shown. Te%t Su ar"$ ,ecture Butline The General Direct 2lan Slides 6*>$ 6*A$ 6*C Directness is appropriate in ost essages such as routine in!uiries fa#orable responses$ ad5ust ent grants$ order ac.nowledg ents$ and operational essages. Begin preparing for a essage b" assessing the reader:s probable reaction.

1f the li.el" reaction is positi#e or neutral$ directness is in order. 1f the li.el" reaction negati#e$ indirectness is in order. @outine 1n!uiries Slide 6*D @outine in!uiries are those where the writer e%pects a positi#e response fro the reader. Begin with the ob5ecti#e. 1n doing so$ "ou a" as. a !uestion or gi#e an answer to a !uestion the reader has pre#iousl" as.ed "ou. These beginnings sa#e ti e for writer and reader. /fter "ou ha#e done that$ "ou can present an" necessar" e%planation$ as. additional !uestions$ or gi#e additional answers. To close$ end with a goodwill essage that is rele#ant to the reader. Man" students a" ha#e difficult" with this. Bne of the ost co on errors we see is the a biguous than. "ou. 1t is not wrong to end with 8than. "ou$9 but the than. "ou should be specific to the topic. Man" students will$ as an e%a ple$ write a fa#orable response that answers a reader:s an" !uestions. /fter answering all of the !uestions$ the writer will t"pe 8than. "ou.9 8Than. "ou9 for what0 6ncourage students to finish the thought: 8Than. "ou for "our interest in /CM6 products.9 Bpening Begin directl".

=se either a specific !uestion that sets up the entire essage )81s "our Earatan line of leather goods sold on an e%clusi#e dealership basis09+ or a general re!uest for infor ation )8;ill "ou please answer the following !uestions about "our dealership polic" for "our Earatan line of leather goods09+ Note how both of the openings abo#e are faster and as this one: ore interesting than indirect openings such

81 saw "our Earatan products ad#ertised in this onth:s Mar.eter Guide and a considering stoc.ing the line. But first 1 need to .now the answers to the following !uestions:9 Content =suall" there is so e need to identif" or e%plain the situation. Such infor ation helps the reader in answering. Most often this infor ation fits best after the opening. ;hen a nu ber of !uestions ust be as.ed$ so eti es e%planations are needed within the !uestions. The point is to tell the reader whate#er is needed to enable her or hi to answer. 2lace all e%planations where the" fit best. Co#er the !uestion or !uestions. 1f "our in!uir" in#ol#es as.ing a single !uestion$ the essage is short<a direct opening followed b" an" necessar" e%planation and a friendl" closing co ent. So eti es a nu ber of !uestions need to be as.ed. 1n such cases$ a.e each !uestion stand out. Do this b" >. a.ing each !uestion a separate sentence$ A. organizing a paragraph around each !uestion )especiall" if so e !uestions re!uire e%planations+$ C. ordering )>$ A$ C$ etc.+ the !uestions$ and D. wording each as a !uestion rather than as a hint for infor ation )82lease send e ....9 rather than 81 would appreciate "our sending e ....9+. Generall" a#oid !uestions that can be answered with a si ple 8"es9 or 8no.9 8Do long periods of freezing te peratures da age Garde%09 #s. 8;hat are the effects of long periods of freezing te perature on Garde%09 Close 6nd with a goodwill co ent$ preferabl" use words that fit the one case: 8/s we ust decide about using Nat#ac b" ne%t Monda"$ please ha#e "our answers to us b" that date.9 rather than 8Than. "ou in ad#ance for "our help.9

Slide 6*4$ 6*6 These slides present bad and good #ersions of the sa e essage. Notes are pro#ided on the 2ower2oint slides for discussion. -ou a" want to di#ide students into s all groups to anal"ze what a.es the bad essage bad and the good essage good and then ha#e the groups articulate their anal"sis to the rest of the class. Fa#orable @esponses Slide 6*& Fa#orable responses are those that gi#e the reader what he7she has re!uested. Because the" are essages that answer in!uiries fa#orabl" and con#e" good news and because the" do what the respondent has as.ed "ou to do$ the direct order is appropriate. The indirect order would get the 5ob done$ but it would be slower$ and it would waste ti e. Bpening Directness here re!uested. eans beginning b" gi#ing the reader what is wanted<which is the infor ation

So a good beginning is the one that starts answering. 1f the in!uir" concerned one !uestion$ it is the answer to that !uestion 8-es$ Che *Treat will pre#ent ildew if used according to instructions.9 1f it concerns a nu ber of !uestions$ the opening is the answer to one of the $ preferabl" the ost i portant. /n alternate possibilit" is to begin with a state ent that "ou are gi#ing the reader what is wanted. /lthough this beginning reall" is not direct$ it is positi#e. /lso$ it a#oids the abruptness that directness so eti es con#e"s: 8The following infor ation should tell "ou what "ou need to .now about Che *Treat.9 or 8Gere are the answers to "our !uestions about Che *Treat.9 So ewhere at the beginning$ identif" the correspondence "ou are answering. Bne good wa" is to use a sub5ect line of a essage or in the sub5ect identification of an e ail essage: 8Sub5ect: -our /pril C in!uir" about Che *Treat9 /nother is to refer to it incidentall" in the opening: 8. . . as re!uested in "our /pril C in!uir". . .9 Content 1f "ou are answering 5ust one !uestion$ "ou ha#e little else to do. -ou a" include an" e%planation or other infor ation "ou thin. is needed. Then "ou close the essage. 1f "ou ust answer two or ore !uestions$ "ou answer the in succession. ;or. for a logical order$ perhaps using the order used in the reader:s in!uir". -ou a" choose to nu ber the !uestions$ or to distinguish the b" bullets.

1f so e negati#e infor ation ust be gi#en with the good$ handle it carefull". -ou a" choose to dee phasize it<placing it in a position of little e phasis or gi#ing it less space. Be sure to a#oid language that is unnecessaril" negati#e )e.g.$ unfortunatel"$ disappointed+ For the best in goodwill effect$ "ou a" consider including the 8e%tras9<so ething nice that is not re!uired )additional infor ation$ co ent$ or !uestion+. Close 6nd with friendl"$ cordial words that show "our willingness to ser#e. Ma.e these words fit the one situation: 81f 1 can help "ou further in deciding whether Che *Treat will eet "our needs$ please write e again.9 Slides 6*H$ 6*($ 6*>? These slides present bad and good #ersions of the sa e essage. Notes are pro#ided on the 2ower2oint slides for discussion. -ou a" want to di#ide students into s all groups to anal"ze what a.es the bad essage bad and the good essage good and then ha#e the groups articulate their anal"sis to the rest of the class. /d5ust ent Grants Slide 6*>> /d5ust ent grants are written when "ou grant a re!uest for an ad5ust ent based on a clai the so eone has ade regarding a product or ser#ice )e.g.$ a re!uest for a refund$ a re!uest for a product replace ent+. Because "ou are doing what the reader wants done and are correcting an error or proble $ the situation is positi#e3 therefore$ directness is appropriate. Because clai s the sel#es re!uire co unicating negati#e news$ clai essages are discussed in Chapter &. 6#en though the situation is pri aril" positi#e$ it is not all good news. The proble the clai "ou are granting is in the reader:s ind. So ething bad has happened. that led to

Granting the ad5ust ent a" not eli inate all the negati#e feelings the reader a" ha#e toward "ou and "our co pan"$ but !uestions about the ser#ice or products of "our co pan" a" re ain. -ou a" need to regain an" confidence lost if the ad5ust ent grant is to be co pletel" successful. Bpening The opening words logicall" present the good news<granting of the ad5ust ent. -ou will also need to identif" the correspondence "ou are answering in a sub5ect line or in an incidental reference in the opening. 1n the opening and throughout the essage$ "ou will need to a#oid words that recall unnecessaril" the negati#e thing that happened. ;ords such as ista.e$ trouble$ da age$ bro.en$ and loss are especiall" da aging.

6!uall" negati#e are general references such as proble $ difficult"$ and Content

isunderstanding.

6%cept in cases in which the cause of the proble is routine or incidental$ "ou will need to wor. to regain lost confidence. Iust what "ou should or can do will depend on the case. Deter ining "our goals$ anal"zing "our audience$ and all of the other steps in planning "our docu ent that we discussed in Chapter 4 are particularl" i portant here. 2erhaps "ou can e%plain how a product should be used to a#oid the brea.down that occurred. Ma"be "ou ha#e ta.en steps to ensure that "our personnel will not repeat an error. Br "ou a" e%plain how what happened was a rare occurrence. Then if "ou ha#e a reasonable e%planation$ present it<clearl" and positi#el". Close 6nd the essage on a positi#e note<a co ent that fits the one situation and does not recall what went wrong. Mo#e forward in the conclusion3 do not dwell on the reason for the ad5ust ent. Slides 6*>A$ 6*>C These slides present bad and good #ersions of the sa e essage. Notes are pro#ided on the 2ower2oint slides for discussion. -ou a" want to di#ide students into s all groups to anal"ze what a.es the bad essage bad and the good essage good and then ha#e the groups articulate their anal"sis to the rest of the class. Brder /c.nowledge ents Slide 6*>D /c.nowledge ents are sent to people who order goods principall" to report the status of the order. The" si pl" tell when the goods are being shipped. Man" co panies use for essages for this3 so e use printed notes. But indi#iduall" written essages can be used$ especiall" for i portant orders or to welco e a new custo er. Bpening /s this is a routine$ good news right awa". essage$ it is appropriate to begin it directl"<getting to the point

8-our /pril D order for 2rotect*B paints and supplies will be shipped Monda" b" Blue Darter Motor Freight.9 Content The indi#iduall" written ac.nowledge ent essage fre!uentl" includes #arious goodwill infor ation )e.g.$ reselling$ appreciation for the order+. So eti es not all the ite s ordered can be sent. So e a" be out of stoc. and ust be bac.*ordered. So eti es the infor ation in the order needs to be cleared before ship ent can be ade. 1n such cases$ ship ent ust be dela"ed <a negati#e happening. This infor ation also ust be handled in the essage. 1f the dela" will

be ta.en as routine$ it can be reported directl". 1f it will be bad news to the reader$ "ou should handle the situation with a ini u of negati#e wording and i plication. For e%a ple$ if the reader failed to gi#e co plete infor ation in the order$ sa": 8So that "ou can ha#e the right color of leather on "our aster chair$ will "ou please chec. "our choice on the enclosed color chart09 For an ite that ust be placed on bac.*order$ sa": 8;e will rush the Shannon "ou 5ust as soon as our stoc. is replenished b" a ship ent due Ma" D.9 Close 6nd with a friendl"$ forward loo.. Co ents about en5o"able )or profitable+ use of the product or a wish for continued opportunities to ser#e. Slide 6*>4$ 6*>6 These slides present bad and good #ersions of the sa e essage. Notes are pro#ided on the 2ower2oint slides for discussion. -ou a" want to di#ide students into s all groups to anal"ze what a.es the bad essage bad and the good essage good and then ha#e the groups articulate their anal"sis to the rest of the class. Bther Than.*-ou Messages Slide 6*>& Than. "ou essages are written for an" occasions as a wa" to practice good eti!uette$ build goodwill$ and present a positi#e professional i age of the writer and the writer:s co pan". Bpening The opening should be direct and include an e%pression of than.s. Content The content should be personal and spea. directl" to the reason for the than. "ou note. Close The writer need not than. the reader again gi#en that than.*"ou essages are #er" short and the writer will ha#e said 8than. "ou9 onl" a few sentences earlier. Gowe#er$ the closing should be rele#ant to the topic of the essage. This ight be a state ent regarding future business between the reader and writer or wishes for success for the reader and his or her co pan". Slide 6*>H These slides present an e%a ple of a well*written than.*"ou note. Notes are pro#ided on the 2ower2oint slides for discussion. Bperational Co unications Slide 6*>( These are the internal co unications necessar" in conducting the co pan":s business<those needed to get the wor. done. The" range widel" in for alit"<fro the brief$ infor al e%changes between e plo"ees to for al docu ents. The infor al essages do not re!uire our stud". The" are si ple$ direct$ aster chair to

fran. e%changes of infor ation between wor.ers. The ore for al ones rese ble the essages we ha#e re#iewed in this chapter. / few rese ble those essage t"pes we will ta.e up in the ne%t chapter. The suggestions for writing these essages are uch the sa e as for those t"pes pre#iousl" discussed. The need for clarit"$ correctness$ and courtes" should guide these efforts. /nswers for the Critical Thin.ing Juestions >. ;hen is the direct order appropriate in in!uiries0 ;hen would "ou use the indirect order0 Gi#e e%a ples. Directness is appropriate when the reader is li.el" to recei#e the essage positi#el" or neutrall". 1ndirectness is appropriate when the essage is li.el" to be recei#ed negati#el". /s will be noted in Chapter &$ howe#er$ so e e%ceptions occur )for e%a ple$ when a negati#e in!uir" will be accepted routinel" or when one feels the reader will appreciate directness+. The e%a ples the students gi#e will ha#e to be 5udged on erit. A. 86%planation in in!uiries erel" adds length and should be eli inated.9 Discuss.

6%planations often help the reader to answer the in!uir". C. Discuss wh" 5ust reporting truthfull" essages answering in!uiries. a" not be enough in handling negati#e infor ation in

/ true but negati#e state ent presented without concern for its effect a" get ore e phasis than it deser#es. Negati#e infor ation stands out. The effect would be to gi#e a wrong i pression. For e%a ple$ to report that 8Iohn S ith once spent a night in 5ail9 ight o#ershadow all else that is reported about hi . 1f Iohn S ith is basicall" a good person$ it ight be necessar" to de*e phasize this negati#e point b" positioning and wording it carefull". D. Defend a polic" of doing carried too far0 ore than as.ed in answering routine in!uiries. Can the polic" be

Doing the 8e%tras9 is reall" 5ust being friendl". 1t is beha#ing as ost of us li.e to beha#e in our personal relationships. The result can pa" off in goodwill benefits. /fter all$ treating people the wa" the" li.e to be treated creates goodwill. 1n business$ goodwill is worth one". -es$ the polic" can be o#erdone. 4. ;hat can ac.nowledge ent essages do to build goodwill0

Bne can build goodwill b" writing friendl"$ considerate$ and helpful ac.nowledge ent essages. 1n such essages one can use war and personal language and can do the 8e%tras9 that a.e custo ers li.e the co pan". Bne can e%press appreciation for the order$ welco e a

new custo er$ and include resale the co pan":s products+.

aterial in the

essage )to enhance the custo er:s opinion of

6. Discuss situations where each of the following for s of an order ac.nowledge ent would be preferred: for essage$ erged essage$ and a special essage. / for essage would be preferred when the order is a standard one$ fitting all factors co#ered in the essage. / erged essage would be preferred when ore than one factor #aries$ such as shipping ethod$ price$ or pa" ent. The special essage would be preferred for unusual circu stances that need e%planation$ such as substituting erchandise$ changing shipping dates$ or other co plications. &. Discuss how proble s )#ague orders$ bac. orders+ should be handled in ac.nowledging orders. essages

Kague and bac. orders can be handled directl" when the infor ation is li.el" to be accepted as routine. ;hen it is li.el" that the custo er will be upset b" the news$ tact should be used. ;hen tact is re!uired$ the negati#e news usuall" is subordinated b" position and b" words. That is$ it is not placed in a position of e phasis3 and the words used are carefull" selected so that the" do not e phasize the negati#e aspects of the situation. H. ;h" is it usuall" ad#isable to do essage0 ore than 5ust grant the clai in an ad5ust ent*grant

Bne who a.es a clai a" ha#e reason to !uestion the !ualit" of the good or ser#ice in#ol#ed. =nless his or her confidence in the good or ser#ice is restored$ future business a" be lost. Thus$ often it is ad#isable to tr" to e%plain what happened or to do whate#er is needed to regain the lost confidence. (. Discuss the use of directness in operational co unication. ;h" is it desirable0 Can it be o#erdone0 ;hen ight indirectness be appropriate0 Most of these essages concern the co pan":s wor.. The participants .now that their essages will be interpreted i personall". Thus$ the" can engage in straightforward but courteous co unication. 1t can be o#erdone if one beco es too fran.<that is$ if courtes" is not apparent. 1ndirectness is in order when the reader:s reaction to the essage is li.el" to be negati#e. Answers to the Critical Thinking Exercises >. 2ointing out the shortco ings in the e ail response to Mr. Braden. a. The opening is indirect. 1t is slow<a full paragraph of ob#ious and unnecessar" e%planation. The organization throughout is bad. The answers to ost of the !uestions are scattered throughout the essage. More specificall"$ the infor ation concerning the professor:s perfor ance appears in paragraphs A$ C$ and D$ the infor ation on for at of the instruction is in paragraphs C and D$ the answer to the !uestion on e plo"ee e#aluation appears in paragraphs A and C$ and the response to the !uestion about adaptation is in paragraphs C and D. Bnl" the

!uestion about ho ewor. is answered in one place )paragraph A+. b. =nnecessar" shift fro 8we9 to 819 c. 82lease be infor edL9 These words fro the old business language are unnecessaril" harsh and o#erl" for al. d. The close is not the friendl"$ goodwill co ent it should be. A. 2ointing out shortco ings in the essage to Ms. Brsag a. The opening is indirect and slow. The good news is dela"ed a full paragraph. b. 8Lrecei#ed in da aged conditionL9 <negati#e c. 8Lin which "ou clai L9 <!uestions reader:s honest"$ negati#e d. 8Lcannot understandL9 <tal.s down$ negati#e e. 8Lda ageL9 )two occurrences+<negati#e f. 86#en so$ we standL9 <finall" grants the ad5ust ent$ but does so grudgingl". g. 8Gowe#er$ we ustL9 <unnecessaril" fir and appears to !uestion reader:s honest". h. 8/fter "our clai of da age has been #erified$L9 <unnecessaril" negati#e$ !uestions reader:s honest". i. 8;e regret an" incon#enienceL9 <well intended$ but places too uch e phasis on what went wrong. 5. 8and assure "ou thatL9 <an atte pt to e%plain$ but scant and not con#incing3 not a suitable topic for the close<not the friendl" tal. needed C. Criticizing the essage to Mr. Mee.s a. 8This is in response toL9 <a slow$ indirect opening$ ob#ious b. 81 a #er" uch interestedL9 <ob#ious c. 8L1 need so e preli inar" infor ation.9<hints that infor ation is needed but doesn:t as. d. 8Most i portant isL9 <Na es the infor ation wanted but is not in !uestion for e. 81 a wonderingL9 <another hint for infor ation needed$ not in !uestion for $ and too uch in one sentence f. 81 would also li.eL9 <also a hint for infor ation needed3 too uch in one sentence g. 81 need to .nowL9 </nother hint for infor ation3 and too an" ite s of infor ation wanted in a sentence h. 8Goping that "ou can getL9 <an old*st"le rubbersta p close D. Criticis of the essage to 2rof. S ith a. Sub5ect line is #ague<doesn:t identif" transaction or indicate proble b. Slow opening<indirect c. B#erl" negati#e and harsh e%planation$ especiall" 8. . . "ou tried to push off so e old stoc. on e9 d. 6#en so$ e%planation is thorough e. 6nding is unnecessaril" harsh f. But does a.e clear what is wanted. 4. This essage is fran. but so ewhat negati#e. 1ts language is unnecessaril" harsh< substandard$ andator" training. 2robabl" not e#er"one in house.eeping is at fault$ but the essage suggests that e#er"one:s wor. is below standard.

Sample Solutions for the Problem-Solving Cases @outine 1n!uiries<Case C$ p. >DH*>D( Before wor.ing on this proble $ the students should #iew the website for the @itz*Carlton in /tlanta. The proble write*up brings out the a5or !uestions that need to be answered$ but students will be able to as. ore targeted !uestions if the" first #iew the site. Bne good plan for writing this proble is to begin with a general re!uest for infor ation. This re!uest is logicall" followed b" the !uestions the writer needs to ha#e answered. Man" of the specific !uestions will co e fro the proble itself3 students a" de#elop ore after #iewing the @itz*Carlton:s site. Special care should be ta.en to a.e each !uestion stand out$ perhaps b" nu bering or separate paragraphing. Special care should also be ta.en to order the !uestions logicall"$ as students a" ha#e a tendenc" to brainstor a list of !uestions and then present the with no thought to grouping the b" topic )e.g.$ technolog" re!uire ents$ eeting facilities$ guest roo s and a enities$ dates and ti es+. /n appropriate ending !uestion could be about a descripti#e brochure$ if one is a#ailable. The closing should contain a deadline for the infor ation but be worded politel" and not be de anding. The closing a" also contain a word of than.s or other state ent of appreciation. 6%a ple: Could "ou please answer the following !uestions regarding conference facilities a#ailable at the @itz*Carlton$ /tlanta0 ;e are hoping the facilities will acco odate a focus group that McGill Medical 2ublishing is hosting /ugust A'D for AA teaching ph"sicians fro the =nited States$ Canada$ and 6urope. Specificall"$ we would li.e to .now the following: )Juestions are listed here. Be sure to chec. that the student:s list is co plete and ordered appropriatel"+ -our response b" /pril C? will enable us to select our planning for the focus group. Fa#orable @esponses<Case >D$ p. >4A eeting site !uic.l" and continue our

/s with ost fa#orable responses$ this is a fairl" eas"$ straightforward essage. 1t should begin b" ac.nowledging the student:s re!uest and granting it so that the student .nows the conte%t and the good news i ediatel". B" including the date and an agenda$ the writer lets the student .now up front that this should be a #er" good e%perience. The bod" of the essage should present the details in a logical$ #isuall" appealing order. The writer also has to anal"ze the audience )student+ to thin. what a student who is ner#ous and a"be a bit inti idated ight need to feel confident about and prepared for the da". The close ight be a friendl" forward loo. to eeting the student and to en5o"ing the e%perience. The contact infor ation and deadline for confir ing the date also helps both the

reader and the writer. 6%a ple -es$ 1 would welco e the opportunit" to ha#e "ou 5ob shadow with e for a da". Bf the da"s "ou suggested$ Iune >A presents the best chance for "ou to obser#e a client inter#iew$ sit in on a depart ent eeting$ and see our pro5ect anage ent process. ;hen "ou arri#e$ par. in the e plo"ee lot. 1 will eet "ou at 6ntrance / at H a. . Because we will be eeting with a client$ dress for the da" will be business for al )a suit+. 1f "ou would li.e to bring a laptop to ta.e notes on "our e%perience$ "ou a"3 we ha#e wireless access throughout the building. 1 ha#e arranged for us to ha#e lunch with Kic.i Gughes$ eager to answer an" !uestions "ou ha#e as well. 2lease call e at 444*444*4444 b" Iune 4 to confir /d5ust ent Grants<Case AA$ p. >4D " boss and one of the partners. She is eeting "ou.

the date. 1 loo. forward to

1n this proble the writer:s co pan" is entirel" to bla e. Fortunatel"$ no one was in5ured$ as that could ha#e resulted in a lawsuit. Thus$ two goals are in#ol#ed<gi#ing the one" bac. and regaining lost confidence. 1n addition$ Bao did include her receipt and odel nu ber$ showing that she is interested in resol#ing the issue and does not appear angr". Gowe#er$ there is uch positi#e infor ation to include in this essage. Bao will get her one" bac.. /s gi#ing the one" bac. is the ost positi#e infor ation to be presented$ it deser#es a pri e position. 1n fact$ it deser#es to be the opening topic and should be presented cheerfull" and positi#el". Such an opening puts the Bao in a good fra e of ind and a.es her recepti#e to what follows. She is also getting an MH? gift card as long as she returns the chair$ and the writer can offer her so e .ind of pro otion to entice her to continue business with Bffice Depot. Bf course$ the writer still needs to discuss the bro.en chair. This part should be presented clearl" and in enough detail to be con#incing$ but there reall" is not uch detail to present. Because no one was hurt$ the writer shouldn:t dwell on the possibilit" of in5ur" and the writer:s relief that no one was hurt. Gere the student should ta.e care to use his or her own words and not the wording in the proble . The close should be an appropriate goodwill co ent$ possibl" a positi#e loo. to future business. -ou ight want to ha#e the class brainstor the possibilities. 6%a ple Than. "ou for pro#iding us with "our receipt and odel nu ber for "our des. chair. -our MH? gift card for the full #alue of "our des. chair will be sent to "ou as soon as the chair is returned. ;e will pa" for the shipping. The Consu er 2roduct Safet" Co ission has recalled that des. set. ;e do$ howe#er$ ha#e an" other safe$ high*!ualit" des. chairs that a" interest "ou. -ou can #iew the on our

website )www.BfficeDepot.co +. Because we hope that "ou will retain confidence in Bffice Depot as the store that can offer "ou the best products and ost e%ceptional custo er ser#ice$ 1 a enclosing a coupon for C?N off "our ne%t purchase. 1f 1 can help "ou select a new office chair or an" other products$ please call e at 444*444*4444 or e ail e at 5.s ithOofficedepot.co . @e e ber that all purchases can be e%changed or refunded within C? da"s with the original receipt. 1 loo. forward to ser#ing "ou. Bperational Messages<Case C($ p. >4( This essage illustrates how uch can go wrong in a essage in so few words. /s.ing students to anal"ze this essage and then re#isit the planning stages discussed in Chapter 4 will be useful. Students a" thin. of infor ation the reader ight want that isn:t in the original. 1f the" ha#e to in#ent details$ the" should do so as long as the" don:t change the writer:s original intent. This is also a good opportunit" to begin re#iewing so e of the guides for correctness discussed in Chapter >6. 1f students wonder whether an"one would reall" write a essage this disorganized and incoherent$ "ou a" tell the 8"es.9 This essage was actuall" sent to e plo"ees in a real organization se#eral "ears ago. Na es$ of course$ ha#e been changed here. 6%a ple =ntil the securit" s"ste is repaired$ "ou will not need "our badge to enter the building. Buter doors will be unloc.ed during business hours. /fter 4 p. .$ use the handle to e%it the e%terior front doors. =se .e"s to loc.7unloc. all doors. Than. "ou for "our patience. The s"ste should be repaired b" Frida" orning.