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The Online World Times

Volume 1, Issue 1 April 3005

The End of Society?


Apple iRoom: Welcome to Isolation
By: Madison Crader The Online World Times, Los Angeles CA0 April 5, 3005 In a move that has many ardent supporters of the anti-technology movement fuming, Apple CEO, Lisa Jobsdaughter of the late technology tycoon, Steve Jobshas announced the release of the virtual iRoom, a safe and virtual replacement for traditional forms of social interaction. On Friday at midnight, Apples three year project finally hit the idownload center . The new software is available in major cities all around the world, however Los Angeles has had the most downloads so far. This is due to the fact that Los Angeles was the most eager for a follow up to isync because itt was impacted most by the dangers of human interaction. The iRoom gives these people the opportunity to download the software that creates a virtual world right in their own living rooms. It can be anything you want it to be and do anything you want it to do. The possibilities are endless. The standard model of the iRoom is now The iRoom comes standard with Apples patented A66 Gigantoplex of SSD available for download. cloud storage,and can be synced with the latest bioinformatics version of iSync. The iSync pill was deemed the greatest technological advancement of the 21st century, due to the personal virtual reality created by cerebral nano-robots that were activated by nothing more than human digestion. Jobs remarked that, While the virtual sensations of the iSync world, through direct synapse stimulation, were innovative and cutting edge, their fundamental flaw was an isolated user experience. The iRoom is the solution to our lack of interactive capability with the original iSync program, as the world will soon see a mastery of a virtual user experience capable of downloading as many as 500 users per program. The iRoom, comes standard with over 2 trillion pixels of resolution, and can sync a persons mind through Bluetooth to the iRoom network. As many as 500 students could be online in a virtual classroom around the world, and could actively participate in the virtual experiences generated in fellow classmates minds. While Jobs claims she is following in her fathers footsteps, by paving the way to a cultural revolution that will not only make our children more cultured and educated, but will also keep them safe, t here is a growing concern among older generations about the lack of real-life social interaction occurring among todays youth. Most students never leave their homes anymore and social learning has all but disappeared. However, this older generation is starting to die out, and as a result, so is the ancient idea of a need for fresh air. With this new technology, the outside world has no purpose for society whatsoever , stated Unites States President Bill Gates. Houses throughout the world that have downloaded the iRoom software. The download of the iRoom was available at midnight on Friday, April 4, 2044. Within seconds, over 3 million people worldwide had downloaded the technology. In fact, many people in the United States were hospitalized in the weeks prior to the release with a brain condition known as Technological Cerebral Injury, commonly
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known as a TCI. Basically, what occurs is that a person will stay logged in to the idownload center for too long, and their brain will start to resist the technology. Comprehension and cognitive thinking suffers due to the lack of internet activity. People who have been diagnosed with TCI have stated that prior to their mental breakdown, they were doing nothing but staring at the idownload home screen for days on end. However, those who were that desperate for the complete worldly experience will now be able to download the software and get their brains working with the technology post TCI treatment. The iRoom has also added security in order to protect your information from Cyberhacks and Cyberthiefs. Previously, the iSync software did not have these protections. People are now able to connect to the world without ever having to worry about being broken in to, or ever having to move an inch. Parents, Online Teachers, and Online CEOs everywhere are thrilled with Jobs new innovative software. Teachers who have purchased the iRoom have already set up a network for students to enroll in so that they may be educated in a safer way that does not involve contact with the other students. In addition, the iRoom has a stimulation feature, which allows the user to choose a location or event and have access to it within seconds. For example, eighteen year old Sally Jane from Los Angeles stimulated a walk to the pet store to get herself a dog. He is the sweetest thing ever, she states, I never have to walk or feed him, All I get to do is play with him and when I am tired I can just turn off the stimulus. Users can design any type of stimulation they desire and interact with the comput er avatars in each of their desired situations. The entire world is waiting. What will Lisa Jobs create next? Is there even anything else to invent? President Bill Gates states, I dont know what else there is left for her to invent. Everything we could ever need is right at our fingertips wi th the iRoom. Lisa has truly reached the maximum level and she will be hardpressed to come up with something that exceeds this current model. The entire world is now available at the click of a button. Never again will people have to interact outside of the internet. The chaos that has occurred recently due to human interaction will cease to exist and problems will disappear. Everything anyone will ever need is now up for download on the iDownload Apple homepage.

Apple Sales Charts within the first few hours. As shown, sales were enormous. Results show nearly 100,000 people signed up within the first 90 minutes.

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Newsletter 3

Newsletter 4

Apple I-Room: Welcom 5