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Frances Dilone
Professor Lago
College Writing
Final Draft
2/2/13
The Art of Parenting
There is nothing wrong with pushing a child to be the best they can be but there is a
difference between motivating and suffocating a child with only all of what the parent desires.
There needs to be a balance between the academic engagements of a child and the social/creative
aspects of a childs life as well. It is important to allow children room to grow socially and
creatively as it is for them to do well academically. A child with a well rounded upbringing is
more likely to live an overall happier successful life than a child who was only pushed to excel
academically.
In the article, !hy "hinese #others Are $uperior% the author, Amy "hua, coming from
a traditional "hinese home herself, explains and &ustifies the incredibly strict, overbearing, and
academically driven parenting ways of a stereotypical "hinese mother.% 'y "hinese mother
"hua is not only referring to mothers of the "hinese heritage, nor to all, but to the parents who
enforce, dictate, and still follow a traditional fully academically driven style of parenting. "hua
makes a clear distinction between "hinese and !estern% mothers arguing that the "hinese style
of parenting is more effective and beneficial to the child in comparison to us !esterners who are
too concerned with being fragile rather than the overall success of their children.
"hua states that, (ven when !estern parents think they)re being strict, they usually
dont even come close to being as strict as a "hinese mother% and that, "hinese parents can do
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things that would seem unimaginable*even legally actionable*to !esterners.% $he offers
examples of her prestige% parenting skills that, in her eyes, guarantees an extremely successful
child as well as giving of us insight on what growing up in a "hinese% household is like by
providing a list of all the things her two daughters, Anna and $ophia, are not allowed to do.
$ome of these activities include having a playdate, playing any instrument other than the piano
or violin, choosing their own extracurricular activities, attending a sleepover, or any basic
childhood activity that is essential to develop a child socially and creatively and that is where I
believe the problem with Amy "huas style of parenting lies.
In the eye of of the tiger%, a response article by #eghan +aum, +uam offering her
benefit of the doubt does not attack "huas arguments but attempts to consider that there may be
some truth to "huas viewpoints. ,owever, even then, one can not help but to come to the
reali-ation of the absurdity of "huas ways. This is expressed by +uam as she states, "huas
parenting method might garner perfect grades and test scores and multiple ,arvard degrees. 'ut
maybe what gets sacrificed along the way is the ability to genuinely laugh at yourself, to
recogni-e the absurd and to weave it into your existence. in other words, to hone the tools
necessary for effectively seeing yourself in full, so that you can make others understand where
youre coming from... Thats a skill that can be learned than a gift that can come from only one
source/ the experiences of failure.%
0ust as +uam, I do believe that children need discipline and encouraging them to be the
absolute best isnt necessarily harmful but as parents they need to allow room for their children
to grow and as people we grow not only from our experiences but from our mistakes as well.
1rom personal experience, I learned the most about myself and developed valuable character
traits when my parents gave me the opportunity to &ust be2 and that inability of allowing a child
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to &ust be is the biggest issue I have with "huas article. The damage that can be caused by the
constant pressure and stress put on these children could be traumatic but even more saddening is
that the children growing up in this type of environment will most likely grow up not knowing
who they truly intrinsically are. "hildren need to be secure within themselves, as well as but not
&ust academically, to prosper in all aspects of life and that security starts within the household at
an early age. (ncouraging sociali-ation as well supporting and being understanding of a child are
attributes that help mold an eventually happier even more successful child.
1or example, a person in a workplace setting who is knowledgable is most likely to do
well but a person who is knowledgable and can work well with others as well as offering more to
an environment is definite to excel. The person who is more well rounded is likelier to feel and
live a more satisfied life. I believe that a parents &ob is to love and nurture their children all
while guiding them to and through a successful life. It is important for parents to promote a
balance between the academic engagements of a child and the social/creative aspects of a childs
life as well. It is important to allow children room to grow socially and creatively as it is for them
to do well academically because, as mentioned before, a child with a well rounded upbringing is
more likely to live an overall happier successful life than a child who was only pushed to excel
academically. 3ltimately, It is a parents &ob to protect their children, pass down knowledge
through life experiences, and mold their children to be the best people they can be.
"itations
"hua, Amy. 4!hy "hinese #others Are $uperior.4 The !all $treet 0ournal 5 0an. 6788/ n. pag.
9rint.
+uam, #egan. 4In the (ye of the )Tiger)4 :os Angeles Times 67 0an. 6788/ n. pag. 9rint.