How can I express my feelings? I can’t write it down. I can’t draw it. I can’t even sing it.

My chest is going to explode anytime now. Help me, who ever hears my thought. Speak up and tell me to relax but I can’t do that. When I sigh, I drown with the air so hot, as the fire of misery. The collection of the past sufferings is very strong that my head breaks into parts. My brain is swelling and decaying because of the retained nightmares. The decision of giving-up is so vivid. The idea of ending my life is so pleasing and the thought of ceasing my pulse is a great satisfaction. In fact, they are not hard to do this time. I see the darkness now. I can see the shadow in the eyes of the person at the mirror in front of me. The sarcastic smile, the tears of woe, and the laughter so gloomy ringing in my ears motivating me to pursue my plans – hypnotizing my naïve mind, dominating my body. The world is just too heavy to carry. It’s getting heavier every time you fall to the wrong person. Why love makes life so painful? Why when you give love wont always give love in return? They said life is an echo but I can prove it wrong. Hear me, I am calling for you. Whoever hears my calling will be my prompter. And the devil heard me. It gave me the most satisfying feelings during the darkest time of my life. It showed me the road so clear, no obstacles – very comfortable to walk on. I took that road, it gave relief. I can finally draw a smile on the black paper. But later on, the smile turned into lifeless grin… --Anime Music I can not imagine na naisulat ko ito…

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