Professional Documents
Culture Documents
by
Alexander Golden
FADE IN
V.O.
Welcome to my last summer. Things
were good. No work, no worries,
partying like it was going out of
style. Finally got laid. I was
getting high, getting drunk and
having a blast. This is how life
was meant to be. I wish I could
tell you that in the fall I would
be going off to Princeton or
playing ball for some big 10
school, but it just was not the
case. But fuck it. It’s summer.
Lets get loose.
V.O. (CONT’D)
Oh, here I am, welcome by the way,
this is my house, well my dads. And
this is one of my Pimp n’ Hoes
parties. We never organized it this
way but the girls just explained to
us they would dress like whores and
we could be their pimps, good deal
huh? I may not look happy, but I'm
just really high. You see I never
actually threw the parties, The
large kid next to me, Big John.
2.
V.O. (CONT’D)
He would just tell the world I was
having a party and presto! Every
kid from the county would show up.
House Parties seemed to take on a
life of their own. You couldn't pin
point when they started or when
they would end. It’s kind of like
when you throw a half eaten apple
on the ground, at first just a few
ants show, but soon the core is
covered with the little suckers,
slowly devouring what's left.
V.O. (CONT’D)
Before you know it the apple has
been reduced to a stem and a couple
of seeds and the ants disperse
slowly without notice. Unless the
cops show up. Then those ants are
fucked if they don’t run like hell.
Allow me to introduce the rest of
the crew.
V.O. (CONT’D)
These two strapping young gentlemen
are Ivan and Julio.
IVAN
Oh damn, right there. That is my
honey, the one with the lip ring.
JULIO
Where?
IVAN
The one next to that girl in the
black with the hat.
3.
JULIO
Oh. Mmm, I don't think that's a lip
ring man.
IVAN
What? Yeah it is. That's hot.
JULIO
No. I think, I think that's herpes
bro.
IVAN
Oh come on, you’re just mad I saw
here first.
JULIO
No, that's definitely a cold sore.
Cut to
V.O.
These two morons are stealing from
cars right now. They don’t think of
it as wrong, these people have so
much money it’s wrong to them.
Mostly they don’t care because
they’re too messed up from booze
and pills, pills they stole from
bored housewive’s cars. For them,
it just feels right.
Just then a black SUV pulls up and stops abruptly. The kids
both stop and look, the window rolls down and a smaller kid
with a grown in stubble-beard yells out.
STEINMAN
Yo! I got an IPOD!
Ivan and Julio look up, annoyed. They close the doors to the
cars and run over to the truck
4.
JULIO
Shut up Steinman! Drive!
V.O.
That’s Steinman, he is sort of the
bitch, nice kid though, and he’s
got a fake ID.
Cut to.
Kids are passing the bong back and forth when it reaches Big
John and someone yells out “Taco Bell”
BIG JOHN
Oh shit, Taco Bell! Yo James, take
this shit.
V.O.
Yup, life was sweet. If this was
what it was going to be like after
high school, life was going to be a
breeze.
James is past out face down on the bed when his dad comes
busting through his door in a suit, briefcase in one hand,
coffee in the other. He is short with gelled, salon-dyed
hair. A blue light blinks from his ear signaling the blue
tooth for his cell phone. Unlike his stature, he has a
persona that is larger than life, some form of a Napoleon
complex, more like “little Jew from Philly with something to
prove-itis.” His voice booms, deep and purposeful.
5.
DAD
You awake!
DAD (CONT’D)
Get a job yet?
DAD (CONT’D)
What? Quit mumbling, get up and get
a job, you are not going to sit
around all summer and drink beer.
JAMES
That’s not all I do.
DAD
OK, you are not going to sit around
all summer and drink beer and smoke
grass.
JAMES
I don’t smoke grass,
JAMES (CONT’D)
I smoke weeeed...
DAD
What? Get out of bed it is nine
o’clock already, you are the
laziest white man I know.
JAMES
Everyone you know is old.
DAD
What was that? If you don’t have a
job by the end of the week you are
working at the bank. I mean it,
otherwise you’re out of the house
and you can live with your mother
and that bum, grass cutter.
DAD (CONT’D)
Oh, I left you a present outside
your door. I wont be home till
tomorrow so figure something out
for dinner. What are you going do
today?
JAMES
Look for a job.
DAD
That’s right.
James’s dad leaves the room and never closes the door, the
room is outside by the pool, as James tries to sleep the sun
comes through and landscape workers cut the grass and trim
leaves while he is still lying in bed passed out. Finally,
James gets out of bed and walks outside
The sliding glass door opens and a middle aged dark haired
woman glares at all of them. They stop and dead pan stare
back, no one smoking.
MS. STEINMAN
Look at you Chiba monkeys, Don’t
any of you have anything better to
do?
BIG JOHN
Chiba monkeys? I’m not a monkey.
7.
IVAN
Yeah Bro, you’re way to fat to be a
monkey.
BIG JOHN
Fuck you Bro, your heads too big.
STEINMAN
You’re one of those big headed
Russian monkeys.
He laughs to himself
IVAN
Estonian, dick.
James walks into the house and to the backyard through the
sliding door.
MS. STEINMAN
More of you, don’t you have
something better to do than get
high in my backyard?
JAMES
I’m looking for jobs today. My dad
said would get kicked out of the
house if I didn’t.
BIG JOHN
You serious? You’ll be giving hand
jobs for crack before you ever get
a real job.
MS. STEINMAN
Leave him alone. I’m happy to hear
that you are taking some
initiative. How is it going so far?
JAMES
Well, I was going to start, but I
thought I would start with getting
high in your backyard first.
BIG JOHN
She called us chiba monkeys.
JAMES
She’s calling you pot heads.
8.
BIG JOHN
If we are pot heads, then you are a
pot head too.
Defensively
JAMES
I’m not a pot head.
MS. STEINMAN
You’re all potheads, get out of my
house and get jobs, do you know
what I was doing at your age?
IVAN
Getting fucked?
MS. STEINMAN
Wouldn’t you like to know.
STEINMAN
Dude, that’s my mom.
IVAN
What’s the matter, I’d be the best
dad you ever had.
MS. STEINMAN
Enough, get out of here you reek of
pot and now so does my new patio
furniture.
BIG JOHN
OK, this is the last bowl, I packed
a fire salad bowl.
STEINMAN
Of course you call it a salad bowl
you fat ass.
They all smoke the bong and pass it around. After a round
they are all stoned off their asses.
9.
Ivan Pulls out a brand new, sleek and expensive cell phone.
BIG JOHN
When did you get that?
IVAN
Last night. Found it in a Bentley.
JAMES
You’re an idiot.
IVAN
I’m not that bad, Julio took some
dudes wallet and it had like four
hundred dollars in it. Steinman got
an IPOD.
BIG JOHN
What happens when you all get
arrested and Steinman gets butt
raped by some dude named Vince who
likes to cuddle and eat small kids.
STEINMAN
Why would I be the one who gets
raped?
IVAN
That’s Steinman’s problem. No ones
touching my butthole. I’ll eat
glass before so when they try,
their dick’s gonna be looking like
it went through a paper shredder.
JAMES
You’ve really thought this one out
haven’t you.
IVAN
It’s all about planning my man.
Big John shakes his head. The group slaps hands good bye and
stand up slowly, stretching and yawning.
BIG JOHN
I’m starving, anyone trying to eat?
James you wanna eat?
JAMES
Yeah I’m down. Oh shit, never mind.
I gotta eat with my mom and her
boyfriend.
10.
IVAN
Tarzan?
JAMES
His name’s Chris.
BIG JOHN
Why did you call him Tarzan?
IVAN
He never wears a shirt, and always
has on those cut off short Jean
shorts.
JAMES
He wears a shirt. Sometimes.
BIG JOHN
Sounds more like George Michael.
STEINMAN
Isn’t he like, a painter or
something.
JAMES
Sometimes he paints. He runs a
lawncare service. He’s kind of
cool. He just gets wasted like us.
BIG JOHN
So he drinks and he cuts grass.
Sometimes paints?
STEINMAN
He cuts grass?
JAMES
He doesn’t, he has people... What’s
it matter?
IVAN
That’s cool if the guy cuts grass.
My dad cuts grass, our grass. But
he wears a shirt.
11.
JAMES
Are we done? Do you guys wanna come
to dinner and meet the guy?
BIG JOHN
Is he buying?
IVAN
Of course he’s not buying. He cuts
grass.
JAMES
You guys are retarded. I’m out of
here.
Frustrated.
James walks out of the house. From inside Ivan calls out
IVAN (O.S.)
Hey! Maybe he can get you a job!
BIG JOHN
Yeah! And pair of cut off shorts,
you lazy fuck!
JAMES
Shut up!
She dresses casually and how you would imagine an aging once
hip, baby boomer might. She too is on a sort of anti-society
and self-control trip after a recent divorce.
JAMES
Margherita’s huh?
JANICE
Yeah.. It’s Friday.
CHRIS
That’s right babe. Happy hour.
He laughs
JAMES
Long week?
JANICE
Oh. It’s always a long week. Its
always something.
JAMES
Like what? I feel like you guys do
nothing. You just chill around the
house and re-do the kitchen or
renovate the bathrooms or
something.
CHRIS
Something’s always gotta be fixed
or changed, the kitchen is almost
done. I’m putting in a fountain in
the driveway.
JAMES
Kitchens almost done? What else did
you do?
JANICE
Oh, lets think, I had the marble
guys come today. The new
refrigerator comes on Tuesday.
(MORE)
13.
JANICE (CONT'D)
The fireplace is being ripped out
the day after next... It’s a lot of
work.
JAMES
Sounds like alimony money spent
well.
JANICE
Well your father would never let me
do what I wanted before when it
came to the house so now I’m in
charge, besides it increases the
value of the house, and the lawyer
said its a good investment.
JAMES
Better than saving it? She’s a
lawyer not an accountant. What are
you trying to do anyway? Get the
place a spread in some decorating
magazine?
JANICE
James, I think she knows a little
more than you. She does this for a
living. She knows what to do in
divorce situations.
JAMES
What’s that? Rip off the husband
and let the wife spend all the
money until she’s broke and can’t
support the kids so she comes
crying back to the ex for more
money? Don’t act like she is your
friend mom. She’s only here for the
hours she can bill you.
CHRIS
Smart kid.
JANICE
Speaking of your father, where is
he?
JAMES
Business in miami. We had dinner
the other night.
14.
James and his dad sit silent at the table eating their food,
neither one says a word, the only noise comes from the metal
utensils clanking against the plates. The dinner is tense and
neither one seems to want to say a word. We hear into the
heads of one another.
JAMES (V.O.)
Money loving, greedy workaholic
asshole. so tight with his own
money.
EDWARD (V.O.)
Lazy little freeloading shit. Wont
even get a job.
JAMES (V.O.)
Fucking summer job.
EDWARD (V.O.)
Fucking grass cutter.
JANICE
OK. Lets change the subject. Aren’t
you supposed to be looking for a
job?
JAMES
Yeah. I guess. Why do I need to
work?
CHRIS
We ask ourselves the same question
everyday.
Continues to drink
JANICE
Your father is trying to teach you
responsibility. You need to learn
that there are going to be things
in life you may not want to do but
have to. That’s something we all
need to accept.
15.
CHRIS
Nobody likes to work. But you have
to. How else are you going to
support yourself?
JAMES
So basically you are saying that a
job is getting up in the morning
and pretending you give a shit?
JANICE
Look at us, we don’t like to work.
CHRIS
You think anyone likes working?
Works no fun!
JAMES
No, I think its pretty obvious that
neither one of you like to work.
But I think my dad likes to work.
JANICE
He is one of the exceptions.
CHRIS
That guy just cant be happy without
money. That’s why he works so hard.
If he doesn’t have a new Benz in
his driveway he ain’t gonna’ feel
good about himself. People like
that are never happy.
JAMES
But I like nice stuff too. I like
cars and houses.
CHRIS
None of that shit really matters
though. It’s all shit, man. This is
what life is all about.
CHRIS (CONT’D)
You just gotta be happy. Let’s say
you do become successful one day.
You have your house on the beach,
and plenty of money. Meanwhile,
you’re driving your Porsche around
trying to convince yourself that
you’re happy. So what if you don’t
get a job? What’s going to happen?
16.
JAMES
He’ll kick me out of the house.
JANICE
So you can come live with us.
JAMES
What am I going to do there? No
friends, no parties.
JANICE
Life isn’t just about partying you
know.
JAMES
Maybe not at your age.
JANICE
I think you should get a job. Learn
what it means to make money and
what everyone else goes through to
support themselves. I’m sure your
friends are all getting summer
jobs.
James scoffs.
JAMES
My friends? What are you, high?
CHRIS
Not right now.
EXT. BEACH-DAY
ANTHONY
Oh shit! That girl? Now that is a
Skuz.
JAMES
But is she really that bad?
JULIO
She makes most sluts look like
saints.
JAMES
What’s the matter with sluts? Sluts
are great. I love sluts. Sluts make
the world go round. Our existence
depends on sluts.
JOSH
Their dirty. That’s what’s wrong
with them. And that girl is the
dirtiest of the dirty. She just
smells like a slut.
JAMES
How can you smell like a slut?
JOSH
I swear, she smells like...cum. No
joke, the girl smells like cum.
Every time I see her, I figure she
just had someone dump their load on
her forehead.
ANTHONY
She smells like a facial.
JAMES
See, why aren’t I the guy dropping
his load on her face? I want that
kind of chick.
ANTHONY
I would like to find some fine ass
girl who will occasionally be like,
“I'm so wet, put it in me, I am
gonna’ suck your cock dry” you
know? But with some class.
JAMES
Exactly. A whore with some dignity.
18.
JULIO
No dude. You don’t want that. You
just think you want that.
ANTHONY
No, I’m pretty sure I want that.
JULIO
When you get a chick like that in
bed, and she’s all sprawled out and
talking dirty. It seems great. She
tells you all the dirty shit you
want to hear. Tells you to fuck her
hard, so you do. And doesn’t care
if you wear a condom, so you don’t.
And then you finish and your lying
next to this little freak and your
just like, well OK. Now I have
chlamydia. Was it worth it?
ANTHONY
How freaky we talking?
JOSH
It’s true man. You want a girl to
act like that after you’ve dated
for awhile and she wants to show
you how much she’s still into you.
And you know you cant catch
anything since the only thing she
has got is what you already had and
gave to her.
JOSH (CONT’D)
So, party tonight?
JAMES
I don’t see why not. My Dad doesn’t
come home till tomorrow.
ANTHONY
Your dad throws the best parties.
JAMES
I’ll tell him you say so.
19.
JULIO
That’s sick that he’s never home.
You got the house to yourself.
JOSH
what’s up with you and that younger
girl.
JAMES
which one?
He grins
JOSH
The only one, you know, little
brunette.
JAMES
Lisa. Yeah she’s cool.
ANTHONY
Man’s in love.
JAMES
Easy now. She’s a virgin.
ANTHONY
So no load dropping. Rough.
JAMES
Just wait, I’ll have that sealed
soon enough.
LISA
I love your parties.
JAMES
I love having them.
LISA
Like, my friends suck. They never
have house parties.
20.
JAMES
I don’t think anyone’s parents go
away as much as mine do.
LISA
I feel like you’re so old. Like,
wise you know? I feel like you
think a lot.
JAMES
What do you mean? I am only two
years older than you.
LISA
Well, don’t you think about serious
stuff? Do you ever wonder why we’re
here or what life is all about?
JAMES
Of course, doesn’t everyone?
LISA
I don’t think so, not our friends.
LISA (CONT’D)
So tell me what you think, why are
we here?
JAMES
Do you really want to talk about
that right now?
LISA
I think it’s all a test, you know?
JAMES
A test?
LISA
Do You know what karma is?
JAMES
The thing that goes after a
sentence?
21.
LISA
That’s a comma, I’m talking about
what comes around goes around, and
reward in the afterlife for good
deeds done in this life. So
depending on how good you do now,
that determines what kind of
afterlife you go onto. Heaven.
Hell. That sort of thing. But it
also refers to what can happen
while you’re alive. “So be good for
goodness sake”...ya know, that sort
of thing.
JAMES
The test huh? I’ve heard of that
before. I think the whole heaven,
hell issue is bull shit to be
honest. I had religion shoved down
my throat as a kid, left a bad
taste. I just don’t buy it.
JAMES (CONT’D)
You think that the way you act here
will change what happens when you
die? Like you’re graded on a scale
of a hundred?
LISA
Something like that.
JAMES
So lets say you do just average,
then that means you go onto the
next average universe that’s kind
of boring and middle class where
everyone drives a Volvo and listens
to Hall and Oates? Or maybe you do
real well, you go onto the ivy
league, goody two shoes universe
with all the other overachievers.
Or fuck it, lets say you sucked.
You killed, cheated on your wife,
stole, all that good stuff you’re
not supposed to do. Then you go off
to some garbage ass planet that
looks like “Escape from New York”.
LISA
Escape from New York?
22.
JAMES
Maybe you only saw “L.A.”?
LISA
So tell me, old wise one, what is
it all about?
JAMES
How the fuck should I know?
LISA
Stop it.
JAMES
Stop what?
LISA
Pressuring me for sex. I know what
you boys do after you have sex, you
never talk to us again and brag to
your friends. Just take it slow.
JAMES
I’ll go real slow.
He starts pulling her pants down and kissing her neck but she
moves away. He sighs and sits down on the counter top.
JAMES (CONT’D)
OK, you really wanna know what I
think?
LISA
Yes! That’s what I like about you.
You actually form an opinion on
life instead of just viewing it.
LISA (CONT’D)
You think we are all plants?
23.
JAMES
No. But we’re not much better. We
just think we are more important
since our brains can think up
stupid shit and we make more noise
pollution with our mouths. “Fuck
this, suck my that” real
sophisticated shit. Oh look,
JAMES (CONT’D)
We built stuff, created things. Big
deal. Animals bare the elements
just fine without iced coffee,
IPOD’s, and subsidized home loans.
All we know how to do is destroy
this place. I think we forgot our
purpose, we were supposed to be
here to serve the earth, instead we
made it our bitch. Measured it,
claimed it our own, even priced out
all its parts.
Lisa frowns and passes him the pipe once more. James stares
into the bowl and sees the built up black residue from the
burnt Marijuana.
JAMES (CONT’D)
We’re no better than the resin in
this bowl.
LISA
That’s pretty bleak.
JAMES
I think that’s life.
Kids have cleared out by now. It’s late in the night and the
neighborhood is quiet, the sky is clear of clouds and looks a
deep blue lit up from the moon. Some of James’s friends help
clean up the house, throwing beer cans and bottles into trash
bags. The sound of glass bottles hitting each other echo
through the home. James and Ivan are by the pool picking up
trash off the ground.
IVAN
What are you doing man?
JAMES
What the fuck, man. Really. What
the fuck?
IVAN
What are you talking about?
JAMES
This, what is this all about. Why
are we doing this?
IVAN
You told me to clean, I’ll stop if
you want.
JAMES
No. I mean. What are we doing here?
JAMES (CONT’D)
None of it makes sense you know?
It’s not... It’s not logical. But
maybe it’s not supposed to be
logical. What the fuck is logical
anyway?
IVAN
Fuck logical.
JAMES
It has just got to be beyond our
comprehension, there is no way any
of us will ever figure this out.
We’re just wasting our time.
JAMES (CONT’D)
God is in heaven, the heavens are
above us.
JAMES (CONT’D)
Space is infinite. There is no god.
We are apart of a cycle.
He turns to Ivan
25.
JAMES (CONT’D)
What are we? A bunch of suckers?
IVAN
Yo! James is so fucked up!
Ivan drops the trash bag and sits down in the lounge chair
next to James.
IVAN (CONT’D)
Space is crazy right?
JAMES
Crazy.
He pauses
JAMES (CONT’D)
Fuck.
IVAN
What?
JAMES
I was supposed to get a job this
week.
IVAN
So?
JAMES
I never found a job.
IVAN
So?
JAMES
So! My dad said he was gonna kick
me out of the house if I didn’t get
a job by the end of the week.
IVAN
Your dad isn’t going to kick you
out.
JAMES
No?... Yeah. He wouldn’t do that.
IVAN
You’re straight, dude.
JAMES
Yeah. I’m cool. I’m sure he’ll just
be mad for a little then forget
about it.
IVAN
Like it never happened.
JAMES
I doubt he’ll even come home
tomorrow. So I’ll look all day and
then when he comes home on the
weekend I’ll say I want to start
fresh Monday.
The two of them try to make it all seem like the most logical
choice in their heads.
IVAN
Fuck logical.
They both lay back on the lounge chairs with their hands
folded behind their heads, staring into the sky. Ivan notices
that James is a little upset and puts his hand on his
shoulder and then pats him on the head.
IVAN (CONT’D)
Don’t cry, James.
JAMES
I’m not crying.
IVAN
One day your dad will love you.
JAMES
Get your hand off me.
He shrugs.
JAMES (CONT’D)
Hey, where’s Steinman at?
27.
Cut to
VOICE
What are you doing?
STEINMAN
Nothing.
Innocently.
JAMES
What time is it?
LISA
Who cares.
JAMES
I’m job hunting this week, I wanted
to interview at some places today.
LISA
Go later, I’m sure the others will
call back.
JAMES
What others?
28.
LISA
The other places you went to.
She starts to move lower, down his chest and towards his
shorts.
JAMES
Listen, I gotta talk to you about
something.
LISA
Later.
JAMES
Stop it for a minute, it’s serious.
My dad...
LISA
I don’t want to hear about your dad
right now.
JAMES
Look, if I don’t get a job this
week I’m going to have to live at
my moms which is an hour away.
LISA
The other places will call back,
they need workers now.
JAMES
I didn’t go anywhere else...
LISA
Let me get this straight. Your dad
told you to get a job this week.
You didn’t go anywhere and decided
to look on the last day, when you
knew he would kick you out of the
house if you never got a job, and
instead you’re here?
JAMES
Basically.
29.
She gets off the bed and fixes her hair, annoyed with his
juvenile decision making.
JAMES (CONT’D)
It’s only twelve. I got time. You
can finish what you were doing.
LISA
Go get a job!
Back patio
He answers.
JAMES
Hello?
JAMES (CONT’D)
Dad?
JAMES (CONT’D)
Yeah, I know but.
He’s cut off. His face is frozen, then his jaw hangs low like
he wants to speak but cannot.
JAMES (CONT’D)
No. No. I didn’t but I...
JAMES (CONT’D)
I understand.
JAMES (CONT’D)
He said I cant come home. He really
kicked me out.
Then the group bursts into laughter, they just couldn’t hold
it any longer.
BIG JOHN
You’re homeless!
IVAN
What are you going to do? Your Dad
straight up doofed you.
BIG JOHN
You could go to the shelter.
CLEANING LADY
OH, hello. Your room is locked so I
have not cleaned yet. Do you want
me to change your sheets?
JAMES
Do you have a key?
31.
CLEANING LADY
Oh, no.
JAMES
Do you know when my dad will be
home?
CLEANING LADY
No, he left me a check this
morning. Do you want me to do your
laundry?
EXT. HIGHWAY.
James drives his car on the freeway to his mothers house that
is in the next county north.
James slams down face first onto the bed and tries to fall
asleep.
His little sister Gabby comes through the door and stands by
the bed. She is dressed in full equestrian gear.
32.
She has on her knee high leather riding boots, tight tan
pants, a helmet and a whip like stick called a crop. She is
intense and quick. Blonde, Short and serious. She has more
drive than people twice her age. Complete opposite of james.
About 13 years old.
GABBY
What are you doing here?
Snooty.
JAMES
I came for the weekend.
JAMES (CONT’D)
Nice boots, how long you been with
the S.S.?
GABBY
The what? Mom says dad kicked you
out for being lazy.
JAMES
He didn’t kick me out for being
lazy, I got kicked out because I
was too lazy to get a job.
GABBY
Because you’re lazy
JAMES
Something like that
No defense whatsoever.
GABBY
Why don’t you just get a job?
JAMES
Why don’t you get a job?
GABBY
I’m 13! And I have horseback
riding.
JAMES
Well you should work, after all the
money they spend on that shit.
33.
GABBY
It is not shit! It’s more important
than anything you do! I’m going to
the Olympics one day!
JAMES
Not if dad sells your horse to the
glue factory first.
GABBY
Oh yeah? Well dad’s going to sell
you cause you cant do anything!
JAMES
Get out of my room you little horse
Nazi!
GABBY
Mom! He called me a Nazi!
James gets up from the bed and hits her with her crop. They
fight back and forth until the mom calls out for dinner.
JAMES
That’s right, go eat your oats,
Hitler!
JAMES
Hey mom! Who is this guy in the
photo?
Chris is standing by the door when he hears James ask who the
man is.
CHRIS
That’s my old man.
JAMES
He still around?
CHRIS
He died when I was six. I never
really knew the guy.
34.
JAMES
Did your mom ever re-marry?
CHRIS
Nope. It was just me and her.
JAMES
Kind of funny, I never pinned you
for a guy who was raised by just
his mother. How did you become so,
you know, handy and into
motorcycles, and not...a homo?
Chris laughs
CHRIS
Believe me, she wanted me to be
like that, tried to dress me like a
little fag and go to church and
care about school. So I said fuck
it and did my own thing. I had to,
what else was I going to do. Either
be a little queer raised by his
mommy or be a man on my own.
JAMES
You miss him?
CHRIS
Shit no. When he died he abandoned
me and my mother. Your mom put the
picture there. I never knew him. It
might as well be one of your
relatives, the house’s filled with
all of them anyway. Listen dude,
you gotta go out on your own
sometimes. Figure out what you
wanna do and go after it. You can’t
always do what your parents tell
you to, what they think is best for
you is not always the case. You’ll
be alright. You’ll grow some balls
and tell your pops to shove off one
day and be just fine. He’ll be
proud when he sees you succeed on
your own.
CHRIS (CONT’D)
Enough of that. Come on, come get
drunk with me and your moms.
JAMES
I don’t...
CHRIS
Come on, we’ll drink tequila and
curse our fathers and complain
about working.
JAMES
OK.
INT. KITCHEN
No one is there.
INT. GARAGE
JAMES
What are you doing?
CHRIS
What’s up man? Not much, just
putting these cabinets together.
JAMES
Gotcha, so uh, what are you gonna
do all day?
CHRIS
Well, this is pretty much it. This
shouldn’t take much longer. What
about you?
36.
JAMES
I guess, just chill. Take my time
up here as vacation you know?
CHRIS
Yeah, I wouldn’t mind a vacation.
JAMES
Right. From all the work, right?
Chris laughs and goes back to work. James rolls his eyes and
goes back upstairs.
CHRIS
Having fun?
JAMES
Oh man, I loved this jacket.
He puts it on and smiles from ear to ear, then puts his arms
down and both sleeves rip off. His smile is quickly gone.
James sits down on his bed and day, once again, turns to
night. Another unproductive day.
INT. KITCHEN-NIGHT
GABBY
Give me back my phone!
GABBY (CONT’D)
That was James.
37.
JAMES
Who is that? One of your horse dike
friends?
GABBY
It’s dad.
GABBY (CONT’D)
He wants to talk to you.
JAMES
Hello?
DAD
What’s the matter with you? Did you
just fart into her phone?
INT. KITCHEN-NIGHT
JAMES
No, she dropped it on the floor.
DAD
Sure. Are you having fun wasting
your time up there? I hope you are
ready to cut this lazy shit out and
come home. Maybe your mother
doesn’t mind you living off of her
and doing nothing but I wont have
it. Get your ass back here. You
hear me? You are not a kid anymore,
it is time you got a job and became
responsible.
INT. KITCHEN-NIGHT
James stands holding the phone, unable to say a word into the
phone.
38.
DAD (V.O.)PHONE
Or don’t. Stay up there and go work
for the grass cutter, Your choice.
BIG JOHN
Yo! James, where you been man?
JAMES
At my Mom’s house, doing jack shit.
What have you guys been up to?
BIG JOHN
Partying hard Bro, we all got fake
ID’s. You should come out with us
tonight.
JAMES
I wish I could. You guys got fake
ID’s? That’s sick. Where are you
going to go?
BIG JOHN
Downtown, Anthony knows the door
guy at one of the clubs. Come with
us, we’re gonna pop bottles.
39.
JAMES
Pop bottles?
BIG JOHN
Yeah Bro, pop bottles. Well be like
the ballers in VIP.
JAMES
VIP? Na Bro, you’ll just look like
those Pakistani guys. Listen, I
think I’m coming back tomorrow.
I’ll hit you up when I’m back.
SCOTT
What it is boyee!
SCOTT (CONT’D)
Yeah! Man on the run back in town!
How’d it feel to be on the
underground railroad escaping the
wrath of the white man dad!
James laughs
JAMES
What the fuck are you talking
about?
40.
SCOTT
You straight up ran away dude.
Didn’t you?
JAMES
I didn’t run away, I got kicked out
of my house for not getting a job.
SCOTT
Damn, you really are a lazy piece
of shit. But don’t you worry, I got
the answer to all your exiled woes.
The two of them sit at a patio table passing a pipe back and
forth.
JAMES
All in all is all we are
SCOTT
Yeah man, Kurt Cobain.
JAMES
Yeah, all you know of something is
what your told and except of it.
SCOTT
I’m not sure if that is what that
means.
JAMES
That’s what I always got out of it,
to be honest I always thought he
was saying all we are is all we
know.
SCOTT
Explain.
JAMES
India.
SCOTT
Yes, India. Dirty place.
JAMES
No, see that’s it. Believe it or
not, it is a beautiful place.
41.
SCOTT
You’ve been?
JAMES
No. But what I am saying is that it
is a really great place but all you
have heard is that it smells like
shit, they worship the cow..
SCOTT
I think they have a river.
JAMES
And they have a river. And so, you
will never go.
SCOTT
I think they piss in the river.
JULIO
You accepted what you were told and
shown and prohibited yourself from
experiencing something new.
SCOTT
But I never wanted to go anyway.
You know where I wanna go,
Stockholm, and I don’t know shit
about it.
JAMES
Sweden?
SCOTT
Yup. Think about it. You ever hear
of Stockholm Syndrome? It’s when
you get kidnapped and you start to
take the side of the people that
captured you. You know that place
is cool if they named that after
it.
JAMES
I...guess...you hungry?
SCOTT
Yeah. Nuggets.
JAMES
Nuggets?
SCOTT
Nugs, son.
42.
JAMES
Chicken nuggets?
SCOTT
Nuggetry, chicken nuggetry.
JAMES
You want chicken nuggets? I don’t
follow.
SCOTT
I think, that this is one of those
times where my brain, is trying to
tell my. No, my body is trying
to...my brain wants McDonalds but
my mouth cant say it.
JAMES
Do you ever wonder what life would
be like for you if you weren’t
retarded?
James and Scott get into scotts car to go eat, James realizes
he does not have his wallet and goes to his car, the car
won’t open and he notices his keys are still in the ignition
and he is locked out. He looks back at Scott who is staring
down at the plants by his car.
JAMES
Hey, dude, I left my wallet in my
car.
SCOTT
So get it out, dude.
JAMES
Can’t, dude. Locked out. Looks like
you gotta spot me.
Scott does not look away from the ground and, channeling the
“HAL 9000” from 2001 space odyssey responds.
SCOTT
I’m sorry James, but I’m afraid I
cannot do that.
JAMES
Come on man, I’m starving. Just
spot me and I will get you back
later. Otherwise you gotta take me
home so I can get a spare set.
43.
SCOTT
It is so nice out here. Why aren’t
we outside more often, huh? James,
I’ll tell you why, it’s video games
fault, they keep us inside. They
need to make video games for
outside. That would sell.
JAMES
Dude, hello! Keys or money? What is
it going to be?
SCOTT
Alright! Shit, easy. You are
killing my high. Always, killing my
high. A habitual High Killer. A
repeat offender.
JAMES
Hey, listen. When we get to the
guard house, no stupid shit, OK?
SCOTT
What do you mean?
JAMES
You know what I mean, you always
say some stupid shit and embarrass
me. Just act your age.
SCOTT
Listen to you, Mr. Mature. “I’m
James Goldstein, I’m Mature, I run
away from home so I don’t have to
work for my dad.”
SCOTT (CONT’D)
What’s the name of the street you
live on?
44.
JAMES
Woodshire.
SCOTT
Woodshire, right. Sounds like some
Medieval castle or something.
The car pulls up to the gate house and a large security guard
leans over to the car.
GUARD
How you two doing? Where you
heading today?
SCOTT
I have with me, Sir James Goldstien
of Woodshire! Son of Edward and
Janice Goldstien!
They pull into the drive way of James’s house, his dad’s car
is in the drive way.
JAMES
Shit.
SCOTT
What?
JAMES
My dad is home.
SCOTT
So?
JAMES
I hate being high around him, bugs
me out.
SCOTT
You live in the guest house, just
grab your keys and get out. He’ll
never see you. Be sneaky.
45.
James gets out of the car and tries to smoothly and quickly
get into his room without his dad noticing.
EDWARD
James?
EDWARD (CONT’D)
What are you doing?
James stares back, red eyed and holding his car keys.
JAMES
Nothing.
EDWARD
Good. I was thinking we could go
get you some clothes for work.
James and his dad walk through the mens formal clothing
section at an upscale department store, looking at shirts and
pants for the new job at the bank.
EDWARD
How about this one?
JAMES
Gay.
46.
EDWARD
Gay? I have a shirt just like this
one. This is an expensive shirt.
JAMES
I like this one
EDWARD
Son, you need a shirt for work, not
for picking up men.
JAMES
Come on, girls love these kinds of
shirts.
EDWARD
Oh no, son. No girls for you. Girls
have diseases.
JAMES
You’re ridiculous.
JAMES (CONT’D)
Well, are you happy?
EDWARD
About what?
JAMES
That you got me back here so I
could ruin the rest of my summer
working at the bank.
EDWARD
James, I didn't make you make come
back to ruin your summer. I made
you come back to learn some
responsibility. You don't want to
be here, go back to your mothers
and do nothing. Fine with me, but
if your here then you are going to
be working.
JAMES
Why though, it’s my last summer
before I go to college. I’ll work
every summer for the rest of my
life after this.
47.
EDWARD
Because the sooner you realize what
it means to make a dollar the
sooner you will get off your lazy
ass and become motivated to work.
JAMES
I’m not that lazy.
EDWARD
Son, your the laziest white man in
the world. Besides, when I was your
age if I wanted something I went
out and worked for it. I always had
some type of job, even when I was
in school. You got it easy, pal.
JAMES
So it’s my fault that I grew up
with money and didn't have to work
for things I wanted?
EDWARD
I didn't say that, I'm sure that
you, growing up more fortunate, has
a lot to do with your lack of
hunger. You didn't grow up with the
struggle that I did, but you gotta
know that it is not going to last
forever, I wont always be here to
take care of you.
JAMES
I know.
EDWARD
Do you know?
JAMES
Yeah, I know. Look, I will start to
work, I would just rather not work
this summer.
EDWARD
And what summer do you plan to
start working?
James finds a shirt and tries it on, its a little too tight.
EDWARD (CONT’D)
Looks a little small.
JAMES
Nah, I'm just swole.
48.
EDWARD
Swole?
JAMES
Yeah, you know. I got muscles.
EDWARD
Muscles, What are you a tough guy
now?
JAMES
What you do that for?
EDWARD
Didn't think I would do that did
you?
JAMES
No, I thought we were boxing.
EDWARD
Pretty tough for an old guy.
JAMES
More like pretty old for a tough
guy.
EDWARD
Hey!
Edward slaps James again in the head. The two are actually
getting along.
EDWARD (CONT’D)
And I hope you know this means no
more partying. Think you can throw
parties at my house when I’m not
there. We’ll see about that.
INT. BEDROOM
INT. CLOSET
They then make their way to the closet and undress. She sits
on top of him and starts to ride, just a moment later he
finishes. She was expecting a longer show, he is still
enamored with the idea of having sex.
INT. BEDROOM
The girl puts her clothes back on and leaves the room. James
walks to the bathroom and washes off. He stares into the
mirror and grins, then shakes his head and leaves.
INT. HALLWAY
As James leaves the room and closes the door, a couple pass
kissing each other, then open the door to James’s sister room
and shut it behind them. The room has become the stand in
brothel bedroom at most parties since his sister never stays
there.
JAMES
What’s up fellas, having a good
time?
ANTHONY
Always man, good party. You look
exceptionally happy.
JOSH
Wait, did you just come from that
back room? Did you and that chick
in the skirt just...?
JOSH (CONT’D)
Tell me you didn’t just fuck that
skuz in your sister room?
JAMES
No, no. We were in the closet.
ANTHONY
You are a dirty fuck you know that.
You know that’s like Lisa best
friend right?
JAMES
Bullshit.
JOSH
Hey, if you were ever afraid of
having aids but weren’t sure, sleep
tight tonight cause brother, you
got the aids now.
JAMES
Get the fuck out of here.
ANTHONY
Yeah man, word on the street is
she’s been around.
JAMES
I don’t have any fucking diseases.
ANTHONY
You never know. I thought I had
crabs one time. Turned out to just
be lint.
JAMES
I’ll talk to you bozos later
ANTHONY
Don’t be a fool bro! All they do is
stick a Q-tip up your pee hole and
tell you whether your gonna live or
die!
A few girls standing by James hear the kid and look at both
of them in disgust, James tries to play it off and walks to
the back patio.
In the back are about six kids sitting around a glass table
passing a bong back and fourth. Big John sits at the head of
the table and smokes the bong.
51.
BIG JOHN
James! Where the fuck you been man?
JAMES
Here and there.
BIG JOHN
Look at that grin, you look like
you just got laid.
JAMES
Actually, I start work tomorrow.
BIG JOHN
No shit? Bout time, you should be
working. You’re a lazy piece of
shit.
JAMES
Why the fuck does everyone think
I’m so lazy.
BIG JOHN
You don’t think your lazy? Where in
the fuck did you get a job anyway?
JAMES
Working at the bank.
BIG JOHN
Your dads?
JAMES
Yes sir. You’re looking at a
professional bank teller.
BIG JOHN
You’re so fucking lucky your dad
has that bank, or even gave you a
job.
52.
JAMES
You serious?
BIG JOHN
Okay, maybe I’d give you a job. You
could wipe my ass or pick out my
gray ball hairs.
JAMES
You have gray pubes?
BIG JOHN
Yeah, you don’t?
JAMES
No man, why would someone your age
have that?
BIG JOHN
I always thought they just grew in
that way, I don’t know I guess I’m
stressed.
JAMES
What do you have to be stressed
about?
BIG JOHN
Tons of shit. Selling weed,
cheating on my girlfriend.
JAMES
You know how to avoid that?
BIG JOHN
How?
JAMES
Quit selling weed, and stop
cheating on your girlfriend
BIG JOHN
Yeah, but I like doing those
things, you see that’s what you
don’t understand. You gotta work
hard for the things you want in
life. And sometimes my man, it
stresses you out.
(MORE)
53.
The kids around the table take in the thought and all smoke.
JAMES
Another business trip in Miami.
BIG JOHN
Must suck that he has to work that
hard while you party in his house.
STRIPPER
So what do you do?
EDWARD
I’m in investment banking.
STRIPPER
How is that?
Another line.
EDWARD
Business is good.
The next morning James awakes bright and early, but extremely
hung over. Today is his first day of work. The house is still
trashed from last night but no time to sleep or clean he has
got to get to work. He showers and seems to be in absolute
pain from the headache and nausea.
INT. KITCHEN
James grabs some cereal and a Gatoraid and makes his way to
the garage to leave.
INT. BANK.
Inside the small bank are three women and an elderly and
unruly customer who is shouting and waving his hands in the
air.
OLD MAN
What is the matter with you people!
Where did you put my money?
BANK EMPLOYEE
Mr. Loyakono, I can assure you that
your money is still here with us.
OLD MAN
I know it’s with you! You took my
money! Every time I go to see my
balance it shows me nothing!
BANK EMPLOYEE
Maybe you are looking in the wrong
place.
OLD MAN
I’ll put you in the wrong place you
bitch! In my day the banks got
robbed and we all agreed it was for
the better, my money is insured!
Where is it!
BANK EMPLOYEE
Sir, calm down. Would you like a
free hat or pen?
OLD MAN
What! I’ll shove that pen up your
ass! Get me my money!
JANETTE
Hello! You must be James! I’m
Janette.
JAMES
What is going on? Who is that guy?
55.
JANETTE
Oh, that is Mr. Loyakono, he is
entering the first stage of
Alzheimer's, he has been with us
forever.
JAMES
I’m starting to doubt he remembers
all the great times he spent here.
JANETTE
Hmm. Well, we would hate to lose
him as a customer.
JAMES
Why? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier
without him coming in here and
acting nuts? Let Bank of America
deal with him.
JANETTE
Oh, it’s not that bad, he lives
pretty far too, so we appreciate
him coming down to see us.
JAMES
So he doesn’t come by that often.
JANETTE
Well, actually he comes in a few
times a week. He gets lost on his
way home and thinks the drive
through is his garage. Let me show
you where you will be working.
JANETTE (CONT’D)
OK, fill out these forms then get
your Toxin test and you will be all
set.
JAMES
Toxin test?
JANETTE
Yes, toxin test. It is a company
policy for employees to be toxin
free.
56.
James sits in his chair filling out the paper work. Next to
him sits an apparently tweaked out woman who seems to be
abusing some type of substance at the very minute. She
intently watches James fill out his forms, trying to figure
out what he writes in order to fill hers out correctly.
NURSE
James Goldstein.
A nurse calls out and James makes his way to a bathroom after
being given a cup to urinate in.
INT. BATHROOM.
James paces back and forth in the small room, wondering what
he can do. He puts the cup on the counter and sighs.
JANICE
You’re a pot head!
JAMES
I am not a pot head.
JAMES (CONT’D)
Your father called me today and
said you told him you weren’t going
to pass the drug test to work at
the bank. He hasn’t called me in 2
years, and this is what he tells
me. The last time we spoke on the
phone it was during the divorce and
he told me he wouldn’t stop on the
road to pee on me if I was on fire
if I didn’t fire my lawyer.
57.
JAMES (CONT’D)
I’m sorry.
JANICE
I should have known when you guys
started buying incents and lighters
and those black light posters.
EDWARD
Wake up Cheech, time for work.
INT. KITCHEN
EDWARD
Hey, I want you to call your
grandmother and have lunch with her
today.
JAMES
Do I have to?
EDWARD
You got something better to do? Go
eat with your grandmother. She was
complaining that you never visit
her.
JAMES
Neither do you.
EDWARD
I don’t have to, I put up with her
shit for twenty years.
Just the way folks had imagined that communities would look
after the cold war, communist bungalows in disguise as the
American retirees dream.
James knocks on the door and a moment later his grandma opens
it.
NORMA
James! Come in, come in.
JAMES
Hey grandma, what’s up?
NORMA
What’s up? Oh, nothing much , come
on back to the patio.
They sit down in white patio furniture and watch “the price
is right” on a small white TV.
JAMES
So how you been Grandma?
NORMA
I’m good, James. Went to the casino
yesterday.
JAMES
Win any money?
NORMA
No.
JAMES
How often do you go?
59.
NORMA
Not as often as I did when me and
your grandfather lived in Atlantic
City. A few times a week, sometimes
my neighbor Dotty goes with me. I’d
be there now if you weren’t here.
JAMES
I’m sorry to interrupt your
gambling habit.
NORMA
Oh, hush. And don’t tell your
father. Besides, If we don’t go to
the casino we always have drinks in
the afternoon.
JAMES
So you have been gambling and
drinking. Good to hear.
NORMA
What else am I going to do?
JAMES
What else do other people your age
do? Knit, save the money for their
Grandkids?
NORMA
What do people your age do? Smoke
dope and drink, I heard about you
pally. Not good.
JAMES
I don’t do those things.
NORMA
Sure.
JAMES
What you got to eat around here?
NORMA
I just got turkey meat and bread,
and there should be some iced tea
in the fridge.
JAMES
Great, I’d love a sandwich.
60.
NORMA
Alright then.
They both sit there. The one waiting for the other to do
something. Her expecting him to get up and make it, him
expecting her to make it.
JAMES
...OK, I’ll get... I’ll make it.
INT. BANK.
James sits, slouched with one hand under his chin, at his
desk with a stack of paper work next to him. Rather than fill
it out he plays games on the internet.
DORIS
James, fill out those customer
return forms yet?
JAMES
Yeah, I’m about half way there.
DORIS
You know, at a real job you
wouldn’t be able to surf the web
all day, you know that, right?
JAMES
What do you mean? This is a real
job.
DORIS
OK. Well, when you are done with
that, I have a job for you. Is that
OK?
JAMES
Yeah, that’s fine.
James is sitting with his mother at the table with his head
low.
JANICE
So how is work?
JAMES
I think I die a little bit each
day.
JANICE
It cant be that bad. You’ll feel
better once you get paid.
JAMES
Is that what pimps tell their
Whores?
James is sitting on his bed with Lisa. She has her arms
folded and sits up against the bed board, she doesn’t look
happy. James is laying on his back at the foot of the bed.
JAMES
It’s miserable. I can’t work there
anymore
LISA
Are you serious? You have worked
there for two weeks.
JAMES
It feels like a year.
LISA
Don’t you get to have lunch with
your grandma everyday? Most people
at work eat like a can of soup in
the back of the office.
JAMES
Yeah but she doesn’t even make me
any food. I have to make the
sandwiches. Aren’t grandmas
supposed to spend the whole day
baking cookies and knitting mittens
for their grandkids?
62.
LISA
Do you hear yourself? Wining and
bitching about your easy little job
that daddy gave you and how you
wish you didn’t have to do
anything. You have to make your own
sandwich. Boo hoo. You have it so
good and all you do is complain.
JAMES
Where is this coming from, you are
supposed to be on my side.
LISA
Your side? You’re an irresponsible
little prick who appreciates
nothing, how can I side with that.
JAMES
Did I do something wrong?
LISA
You are unbelievable. Were you just
not going to tell me?
JAMES
Tell you what?
LISA
About you fucking Danielle!
James is speechless.
JAMES
Oh...
LISA
Oh, yeah that. I mean you know that
she is one of my best friends. And
even if you didn’t, did you not
think I would find out, or even be
okay with it? You think I’m going
to lose my virginity to someone who
doesn’t even have the decency to
stay true to one person and put
some effort into something
meaningful. Why are you so fucking
lazy?
JAMES
I’m sorry. Look, I really like you
and...
LISA
You’re sorry, and you like me. Is
that it? I hate you. You got a lot
to learn, dude.
LISA (CONT’D)
You have some serious growing up to
do. Don’t call me.
Lisa briskly walks away from his room but starts crying as
she reaches her car.
Kids flood the house once more. James sits outside in a chair
with sunglasses on, smoking out of a bong that is being
passed around. He is not apart of a conversation or talking
to any girls. No one notices him or says hello or thanks for
letting us party at your house, the faces seem to grow more
unfamiliar by the night, no one here cares about the house or
its host, just there to trash the place and get drunk.
Big john is having a blast with the rest of the kids, talking
to everyone and drinking as much as they can.
James walks into his dads bedroom and flicks on the lights.
INT. KITCHEN
James shuts off the speaker system and then hops up onto the
kitchen counter.
JAMES (CONT’D)
Hey! Party is over, get the fuck
out.
James shakes his head and gets down from the counter,
defeated and feeling used.
He walks with his head low past groups of kids when Julio
notices him.
JULIO
Yo, where you going?
65.
JAMES
I’m gonna pass out man, kind of
tired.
JULIO
Really? Don’t do that, were going
bucking, come with us.
JAMES
I don’t feel much like stealing
shit, man.
JULIO
You don’t have to steal anything.
Just be a look out, come on.
JAMES
I cant stop thinking about her.
JULIO
Who?
JAMES
Lisa
JULIO
The younger chick?
JAMES
Yeah. But she doesn’t act younger
you know. She thinks about stuff,
she’s deep, she...got a great ass.
But she hates me right now. Found
out I had sex with her friend.
JULIO
Yeah, that will do it.
JAMES
So what do I do?
JULIO
You gotta call her.
66.
JAMES
She told me not to
JULIO
Dude...when a girl gets mad and
tells you not to call her, she
really means that she wants you to
call her. Girls think the opposite
of us, you cant take everything
they say so serious. They want you
to chase after them.
JULIO (CONT’D)
You like her right?
JAMES
Yeah, I think I like her a lot,
ever since she stopped talking to
me she’s all I can think about.
IVAN
Fag!
JULIO
Just call her, bro. She’ll forgive
you.
JAMES
So, should I tell her how much I
like her?
JULIO
No, no. You Still gotta play the
game and make her want you. You
gotta make her forgive you without
begging for it.
Julio can tell James is pretty strung out over this girl.
JULIO (CONT’D)
Here, take this.
JAMES
Oh, dude, I cant take that.
67.
JULIO
No, I want you to have it.
Just then a light goes on inside the house and the door
opens, a woman pokes her head out and notices the two of them
sitting in her car.
WOMAN
Hey! What are you kids doing out
there! Get out of my car! I’m
calling the Police!
JULIO
Run!
INT. BANK.
Norma and James sit down at the table on the patio eating
lunch.
James takes a bite out of his sandwich and looks around for a
drink.
JAMES
Got anything to drink?
NORMA
I should have iced tea in the
fridge.
JAMES
That’s fine.
She sits with her hands folded across her lap, he stares at
her as she watches TV, expecting her to get up and get him
the iced tea.
68.
JAMES (CONT’D)
I’ll get it.
NORMA
So what have they got you doing at
the bank?
JAMES
Well, Mostly I do compliance type
stuff, keeping accounts up to date
and things like that.
NORMA
Sounds important, hard work?
JAMES
To be honest. I do absolutely
nothing. They make me put names
from folders into the computer if
they catch me not doing anything.
We have like five customers a day.
It’s really a joke, Mom’mom.
NORMA
I wish they could give me a job
like that.
JAMES
Why would you want a job?
NORMA
I get bored sitting around here all
day. I watch my soaps, have a drink
in the afternoon, go to bed around
eight. That’s my day. It’s pretty
quiet around here without your
grandfather.
JAMES
You miss him a lot, huh?
NORMA
You got no idea, pally.
JAMES
I miss him too. Why don’t you get a
boyfriend?
69.
NORMA
Sure. Whose gonna date me?
JAMES
You kidding, plenty of people your
age date these days.
NORMA
Well you know, there is this one
fella.
JAMES
Oh yeah? Who?
NORMA
He drives the bus that takes us to
the pool.
JAMES
Great, so ask him out.
NORMA
I would but...he’s a colored.
James tries to hold in a laugh and puts his hands over his
face.
JAMES
Mom’mom. You don’t call them
coloreds anymore. You mean he’s
black, right?
NORMA
Yeah, the cutest little shvatza.
JAMES
Shvatza?
NORMA
What? You said I can’t call him a
colored.
JAMES
You know what they say about black
guys right?
NORMA
I know all about it.
70.
James is taken aback that she actually knew what he was going
to say, and is a little grossed out that his grandma has
black dong on her mind.
JAMES
Ugh...Mom’Mom!
NORMA
Oh, James, before you go, I need
you to help me out with something
in the garage.
INT. GARAGE
JAMES
What you want me to do?
NORMA
I’m getting a new washer and dryer
so I need to move these ones out of
here.
JAMES
You serious? Why don’t you just
have the service guys do it when
they install the new ones?
NORMA
Because I have you here now.
NORMA (CONT’D)
Thank you, ya look tired, want
anything to drink?
JAMES
Water.
NORMA
OK, help yourself, oh and grab me
some ice, will ya.
James stands by his car while big john and Ivan stand next to
him, both are a little upset and look concerned.
BIG JOHN
What do you mean you’re done? Are
you sure, are you sure that this is
what you want to do?
JAMES
I’m sure. No more. I’m done having
parties.
IVAN
When you say no more, do you mean
like, No more this week? Or does
that include the following weekend?
JAMES
I mean no more as in done for the
rest of the time we are here until
we go to college.
BIG JOHN
Have you thought this one through?
This is pretty selfish, I want you
to know that. You’re only thinking
of yourself here. You cant just
stop mid-season.
JAMES
What are you talking about? I don’t
run a summer-crowd-dependent club
in south beach, we are talking
about my house, that’s my home. You
guys forget, and it ain’t even
mine. It’s my Dad’s. No one gives a
shit about my house or me anymore.
I don’t even know half the people
that show up.
BIG JOHN
Those are your friends.
JAMES
Those are your friends.
BIG JOHN
I’ll introduce you.
72.
James shakes his head, then notices Lisa standing with a few
of her friends at the opposite side of the parking lot and
decides to walk over to her.
IVAN
So...the following weekend he might
have a party?
JAMES
Hey...
LISA
What do you want.
JAMES
Can we talk?
JAMES (CONT’D)
I called you a couple times, texted
too. Maybe your phone isn’t
working.
LISA
My phone works.
JAMES
Oh. good... Look. I feel real...
LISA
I don’t really care how you feel
right now. I’m the one whose
feelings matter. You hurt me. I
didn’t do anything to make you act
the way you did.
JAMES
I know, I feel like such as
asshole.
LISA
You should! You are an asshole.
JAMES
I know. A big hairy, asshole.
73.
LISA
Yup.
JAMES
Like, a sixty year old mans
hemorrhoidal asshole.
LISA
OK. Enough.
JAMES
You are all I can think about
lately.
LISA
That is so lame.
JAMES
It’s the truth. I really care about
you, it took this happening for me
to realize that.
LISA
Please...all you care about is
having parties and getting drunk
with your idiot clepto friends.
JAMES
Not anymore. I’m done having
parties.
LISA
I didn’t say stop having the
parties. What else are we going to
do all summer.
JAMES
I decided that I don’t want people
using me for the house. I want to
be more responsible and
do..things...
LISA
You’re just realizing this?
JAMES
No, But they come in, trash the
place, eat my hot pockets, never
say thank you or offer drugs or
money or sex. You would think the
host should at least get a blow
job.
74.
She faintly laughs, trying not to let him see that she was
amused at what he said.
LISA
This isn’t something you just get
off the hook for. Having sex with
your supposed girlfriend’s best
friend is usually a big No-no.
JAMES
So...you’re my girlfriend?
LISA
I could have been, Now I guess
We’ll never know.
JAMES
Well, hey. Tell me what I gotta do
to fix this.
LISA
I can’t tell you, that’s not how it
works. You gotta figure this one
out on your own. You know, actually
work for something you want? I know
that seems like a stretch for you.
JAMES
Easy, everyone treats me like an
irresponsibility punching bag.
LISA
And this is a surprise to you?
JAMES
I guess, I can be a little lazy
sometimes.
LISA
A little?
LISA (CONT’D)
Looks like your needed
JAMES
Yeah. I’ll see later, right? I’ll
call you. You can answer, or not
that’s cool too.
75.
LISA
Bye.
BIG JOHN
Alright, since James is being a
little bitch and won’t have a
party, and not much else is going
on tonight. That leaves one option.
He pulls out a few white pills from his pocket and holds them
out for the guys to take.
Each kid takes a Xanax bar and swallows it with a beer. They
get into Steinman’s truck and leave the gas station for a
Gated community.
BIG JOHN
How are we getting in?
STEINMAN
Relax, I got a clicker for the
gate.
BIG JOHN
Turn here.
The boys pass massive homes with luxury cars sitting in the
driveways and look on like it is the buffet line, any car
with a open door is fair game.
IVAN
Here is my stop, I’ll catch up with
you gentlemen later.
76.
Ivan hops out of the car and leisurely walks over to the car
and reaches for the handle, slowly, and...its open.
The drugs have taken a hold. They are in a zombie like state.
Nothing but the “Id” running their functions. If it feels
good, do it. It’s like gold rush for these boys, they
couldn’t be happier.
Big john leaps out and makes way for a convertible Mercedes
and Julio follows swiftly after.
STEINMAN
Well, James. What’s it Going to be?
See anything you like?
STEINMAN (CONT’D)
Go for it man.
James exits the truck slowly and walks towards the Maserati,
he stands a few feet back from it at first, like you would if
you were at a car dealership and they asked you not to touch.
But this isn’t the dealership, and there aren’t any employees
around.
INT. MASERATI
EXT. STREET
STEINMAN
Open the door, bro.
JAMES
Where did you get all that shit?
STEINMAN
Slick, dog.
JAMES
I’m out of here.
STEINMAN
Where you going?
JAMES
Home. I got the house to myself, I
wouldn’t mind some peace and quite.
STEINMAN
Pussy.
JAMES
Yo, Steinman. You know you don’t
have to do this for them to like
you. Why do you want to fit in so
bad?
78.
STEINMAN
What do you mean? It’s free.
JAMES
That’s not what I meant...You’re
better than this.
STEINMAN
You, you think I’m better than
this?
James pauses for a moment, how does he word with this without
sounding negative.
JAMES
Not really.
Steinman deflates
JAMES (CONT’D)
But you’re capable of a lot more
than this.
STEINMAN
You don’t mean like, robbing houses
right?
JAMES
No, not like, robbing houses.
STEINMAN
Listen, I like doing this. This is
the hobby I’ve been waiting all my
life for.
JAMES
Hobby? You’re not making model
airplanes! You are stealing from
people who worked hard to afford
this stuff.
STEINMAN
Since when do you give a shit about
hard work and other peoples things?
Fuck these people. If these rich
assholes...
79.
JAMES
Rich assholes! You are one of these
rich assholes. You don’t live in
the slums, your dad lives in one of
the nicest...
STEINMAN
Fuck my dad! I don’t get a damn
thing from him. Just because you
live this life doesn’t mean it
spreads over to us. Besides. Like
these dicks with hundred thousand
dollar cars can’t afford another
cell phone. They keep two hundred
dollars for safekeeping in the dash
the way most people keep two
dollars in change for tolls.
STEINMAN (CONT’D)
Happy? I gave them back. They
should lock their fucking cars.
That’s what alarms are for.
JAMES
To keep out people like you.
Steinman sits down on the car seat and leans his head back.
STEINMAN
Yeah.
He smirks
Now small sirens can be heard near by, James crouches behind
a bush as a white security truck speeds by with yellow lights
flashing. Something is going on.
Ivan and Julio get out of a BMW and show each other what they
have, laughing.
Both run behind a bush on the side of a house and wait for
the security to pass.
EXT. SIDEWALK
He isn’t far now. He can see the gas station is only about an
eighth of a mile away from him, he can easily run low and
reach it without being noticed if he stays away from the
street lights.
EXT. BUSHES
Julio and Ivan watch as the security truck stops a few houses
down. The security guard gets out and meets with the
homeowner who walks out and points to his car.
The boys stay crouched and make way for the exit of the
neighborhood. As they walk they see Steinman driving slowly
in his truck with Big John.
They run up to the car and open the doors scaring both
Steinman and Big John.
BIG JOHN
Holy fuck, we thought you were the
cops.
81.
JULIO
Someone called security, we need to
get the hell out of here now.
BIG JOHN
Steinman, get us out of here, quick
He floors the truck and reaches the guard gate but sees the
cop cars, they notice him too and flash their lights, a few
officers exit their cars and make their way to the truck.
IVAN
What are you doing?
STEINMAN
Do you not see the cops! How the
fuck am I going to get past them?
IVAN
Well don’t stop you Idiot!
STEINMAN
Fuck you! Don’t tell me what to do!
JULIO
Fuck this.
BIG JOHN
Drive!, Go to the right through the
woods!
82.
They drive off into the woods and the car goes bouncing up
and down over branches and tree stumps, radar detectors and
cell phones go flying inside the cabin. The boys yell and try
to keep the car from flipping.
EXT. BACKYARD.
EXT. LAKE
Ivan ditches his stuff as well and jumps into the lake and
starts swimming to the other end. On the other side of the
lake is the highway that Big John and Steinman hope to reach.
Julio lays on his stomach out of view of the cops inside the
wooden play set. He should be okay for awhile up here.
EXT. SIDEWALK
OFFICER
Hey! Stop!
OFFICER (CONT’D)
What are you doing out here?
JAMES
I...was...
LISA
James?
OFFICER
Who is that?
JAMES
I... was waiting for my girlfriend
to pick me up.
JAMES
Drive. Now.
LISA
Don’t think I’m not still mad at
you, cause...
James tries to keep his cool and talks through his teeth.
JAMES
Drive the fucking car away now.
She leans her head out the window and talks to the cop
LISA
I thought he was running off with
some skank, I’m glad you stopped
him officer.
84.
EXT. LAKE
Above Ivan is the helicopter shining its light down over the
neighborhood and the lake. He is about half way across.
Steinman and Big John exit the truck, in pain and panting,
scared to death and running off adrenaline. Steinman tries to
grab as much stuff as he can.
BIG JOHN
Dude, are you nuts! Leave it!
More dogs come running after the truck and lead the cops to
the two of them. It’s been a good run.
EXT. LAKE
Ivan is about to get out of the water when a cop shines his
light on him and holds out a pair of cuffs
COP
Freeze, Aquaman.
LISA
I can’t believe you are in my car
right now. I should have let that
cop...
JAMES
Just shut the fuck up.
LISA
What! Don’t talk to me like...
85.
JAMES
Hold on! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
it like that.
LISA
You can get out. I still hate you.
JAMES
Listen! Just be quiet for a minute.
I gotta think.
LISA
Are you in trouble?
JAMES
They are so fucked. Steinman’s
totally getting butt raped.
LISA
What is going on?
JAMES
OK. Look, we went bucking, and...
LISA
Bucking?
JAMES
Stealing. Someone must have seen us
and called the cops. They’re all
still in there.
LISA
In where?
JAMES
In the neighborhood.
LISA
How did they get in there?
JAMES
Steinman had a gate clicker. We
gotta get them.
LISA
What! No fucking way, I’m not going
to jail to save your friends after
they stole peoples things. They
deserve it, it’s about time they
got caught.
86.
JAMES
Deserve it? They are all going to
go to get arrested! We gotta go
back.
Lisa reluctantly turns the car around and they pass by the
guard gate.
Through the car windows they can see Julio and Ivan being put
into the squad car. Both handcuffed.
LISA
Are you glad? Look at them now. I
hope it was worth it.
JAMES
I should be getting arrested right
now.
LISA
What are you talking about, you
never stole anything.
JAMES
But I was with them. I could have
stayed.
LISA
But you didn’t. You left because
you’re not an idiot. Well, you are
in idiot but you had enough sense
to leave.
JAMES
What do you think is going to
happen to them?
LISA
You kidding? This is Boca, they’ll
be out tomorrow and have to do some
community service. Probably do it
all again next weekend.
She pulls the car away and makes her way to James’s house.
Neither one talk to each other on the way home.
Lisa pulls her car into the driveway and puts the car in
park.
LISA
Quit bugging out, you didn’t do
anything.
JAMES
But I should have done something. I
should have stopped them. That’s my
problem. I never do anything.
LISA
You honestly think they would have
listened to you if you told them to
stop? They’re idiots. That’s what
they do...and yet... People love
them for it. They’re the coolest
kids because everyone only sees it
as them not giving a fuck...and you
did do something. You made the
right choice to leave.
LISA (CONT’D)
I have to be home pretty soon...
Fucking dad and his curfew, thinks
I’m going to wind up pregnant if I
stay out past one. If he only knew
the lack of action I get.
JAMES
You wanna come in?
LISA
Sorry slick. You’re a little late.
Besides, I’m not sure you deserve a
chill session in your guest house
right now.
Rejected.
JAMES
Umm...Thanks for picking me up and
getting me out this.
He leans over and kisses her on the cheek. She moves away at
first thinking he’s going in for her lips.
LISA
That was weird.
88.
JAMES
Yeah.
LISA
Was that a kiss goodnight?
JAMES
I prefer it the other way too, I
just thought.
LISA
That was very mature of you.
LISA (CONT’D)
I think we’re good.
JAMES
Okay.
JAMES (CONT’D)
Don’t hate me. Okay? Because...
Aside from my grandma, You’re the
only person I couldn’t deal with
hating me right now.
She is still very upset over the whole ordeal of him having
sex with her friend. She most likely will not forgive him,
they could remain friends but never what they had before.
LISA
I gotta go.
He walks away with his head down and opens the gate to his
house.
LISA (CONT’D)
James.
He turns around
LISA (CONT’D)
So no more parties?
89.
JAMES
Nope. Summer’s pretty much done. I
guess I should just worry about
getting to work on time and
cleaning the sheets in my sisters
room before she actually sleeps in
there and becomes the youngest
person to ever contract syphilis.
LISA
That’s a shame. You threw some
great parties.
The door to the garage opens and the noise of business lingo
grows louder as james’s dad walks through the hallway to the
living room. Every few seconds his ear lights up blue from
his blue tooth mobile device. Old guys like him love that
kind of technology, makes them feel like they lived to
witness the future.
EDWARD
Bud!
He calls out
JAMES
Yeah! I’m on the couch.
EDWARD
Where else would you be. (Into
phone) No, I was talking to my son.
Well tell Mendez We are meeting
with the southern group on Monday
and to have that presentation done
or I’m personally financing the
boat we put his Cubano ass on back
to Havana. OK. Have a good weekend.
JAMES
How was work?
90.
EDWARD
Same old. Raising money, meetings
as usual. What have you been up to.
JAMES
Just been watching TV.
EDWARD
Must be nice... Lay around and
party while poor pops has to slave
away. I make the money so you and
your mother can party it away.
Half sarcastically
JAMES
Mom isn’t partying.
EDWARD
She isn’t? I thought her and the
Grasscutter party every night, ride
on the Lawnmower and smoke doobies.
James laughs and gets off the couch, walks towards his dad.
JAMES
I’m done partying too.
EDWARD
You’re kidding. You? What’s next?
Don’t tell me you’re going to do
well in school next year.
JAMES
One step at a time.
EDWARD
OK, sonny. I don’t want you working
too hard.
He lets him
JAMES
Love you.
EDWARD
I love you too, bud.
JAMES
Oh, and umm...thank you.
EDWARD
What for?
JAMES
You know... for everything.
EDWARD
You are welcome, pal.
James smiles and turns around. Making his way to his guest
house.
FADE OUT