boy & girl of 5th class asking there teacher: kia bachoon ke bachey hotey hein?

teacher replied: nhi. boy to girl: dekha tum aisey hi dar rehi thi. Irfan Alvi (10636) 2 Giddyup, Id wish you a happy day, but Im just a little hoarse - hee haw. Hercolena Oliver (10615) 3 I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient. Hercolena Oliver (10614) 4 Mobile repair krne walay ko loose motion ho jaye to wo kaisey explain karega? Doctr sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hain,outgoing main taklif ho rhi ha.Subah se naye naye ringtone baj rahe hain. or pait main balance nahin bach raha, jitna b recharge kro utna kharach ho rha hai Team SMS (10346) 5 There is only one boy who is allowed to touch every part of a girl body and reliable guess who is that boy?..... Thats LIFEBOY yaar. Team SMS (10337) 6 Ek aadmi ki wife ka rang kaala thha, ek din vo peeli saree pehenke apne pathi se puchi, main kaisi lag rahi hoon? hus:Jaise koyla ki factory mein aag lagi ho. Team SMS (10335) 7 Why r Doctor's prescriptions imposible 2 read?Bcoz they hve an exclusive msg only 4 d chemist-'Maine patient ko loot liya,ab teri baari hai'. Cheer up.Smile. Team SMS (10327) 8 1day santa had a dream,in that some1 killed him.Next day he closed his bank a/c. Y? B'coz bank's slogan was 'WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE' Team SMS (10294) 9 Santa: JALDI KAR KHIDKI SE KOOD, POLICE AA RAHI HAI.Banta: LEKIN YE 13've MANZIL HAI.Santa: YE SHAGUN-APSHAGUN SOCHNE KA WAQT NAHI HAI Team SMS (10279) 10 PUNJAB POLICE ka koi jawab nahi, kal 1 BIHARI talab me naha raha tha to ek POLICEwala kehta :- chal oye bahar aa k kapde pahen, teri talashi leni hai... Team SMS (10268) 11 Napolean:"In my dictionary there's no word called "IMPOSSIBLE" Sardar:"Abi bolne se kya faida,jab kharida tabi barabar dekhna chahie na. Team SMS (10256) 12 Santa Beti ki shadi k liye 24saal ka ladka dekne gaya.Vaha se biwi ko fone kiya- oh gal sun!24 da koi munda ni milya.12-12 de 2 chalenge? Team SMS (10248) 13 3 sardars were going on a bike. Traffic Police raises the hand to stop them. Sardar replies- "Oye pagal ho gaya kya? Pehle hi 3 baithe hai, Tu kaha baithega.." Team SMS (10246) 14 What frustrated Banta when his wife gave birth to twins ? He wonders who is the father of the second son! Team SMS (10243) 15 Santa�s friend gave him a gun on wedding night & said fire in air if wife is virgin, shoot her if not. santa fired in air 1st nite & shot her on 2nd nite

School girl : I dont want to take SEX EDUCATION class Teacher : Why not? School girl : Someone told me FINAL EXAM would be oral! Team SMS (10238) 17 Munna bhai-abe circuit,1baat bata,agr bina daant ka kutta kisi ko kate to kya karte hai? (Circuit bahut sochne k baad) Simple hai bhai,bina sui k 14 injection lagva do!! :) Team SMS (10227) 18 Q What do you call a Sardar with one hair on his head? A.Iqbal Singh Q What do you call a Sardar with one hair on his head? A.Iqbal Singh Team SMS (10220) 19 santa on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now". Doctor: Is this her first child? santa: No this is her husband speaking............ Team SMS (10198) 20 A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup." Team SMS (10136) 21 Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents. Team SMS (10135) 22 Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth. A: Because Doctor has advised him: �Aaj Light Khana hai!� Team SMS (10078) 23 Santa khali kadahi me chammach chala raha tha to Banta ne poocha kya bana rahe ho ? Santa- BEWAKOOF bana raha hoon.. Team SMS (9990) 24 Santa was driving car zigzag on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him. Santa: Sir, I am learning the car. Inspector: without instructor ? Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course. Team SMS (9989) 25 Museum administrator: That�s a 500 year old statue you�ve broken. Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one! Team SMS (9985) 26 History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26. Team SMS (9983) 27 Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA But girraffe was not eating. Why? Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND Team SMS (9978) 28 Devdas�s matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar! But gal�s father shoul have his own Bar. Team SMS (9977) 29 DAD TO SON: When i beat u how do u controll ur anger. son: I START CLEANING TOILET DAD: how does that satisfies u? SON:i clean with ur tooth brush Team SMS (9976) 30 A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?Boy: Yes, I saw dad. Ek pagal gusse me: oye mai is duniya ko mita dunga� mita dunga� mita dunga� Dusra pagal: he he he! mai tujhe rubber hi nai dunga Team SMS (9844) 32 What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant Team SMS (9825) 33 He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money! Team SMS (9820) 34 Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open! Team SMS (9819) 35 santa was asked, what is a adult joke? Reply came any joke which is eighteen years old. Team SMS (9802) 36 At the scene of accident a Man was crying "Oh god i hv lost my hand!". Santa: Please Dont cry! look at that man he has lost his head is he crying? Team SMS (9796) 37 1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola"muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna Team SMS (9788) 38 1st Sardar:Jab main chhota tha tab Kutab Minar se gir gaya tha 2nd sardar: Fir tu mar gya ki bach gaya? 1st:Mujhe yad nahi kuyoki tab mai bahut chhota tha na. Team SMS (9786) 39 Father 2 Son: Pados ki ladki ko dekh wo exam men 1st ayi hai. Son: Usi ko dekhta tha, tabhi to fail hogaya Team SMS (9783) 40 Santa rail mein susu karne gaya, vapis aane par wife aapka pajama gila kaise hua? santa vaha likha tha,sharir ka koi bhi angh bahar na nikale. Team SMS (9768) 41 Why do boys go to temple? B'cause temple is the only place where u can find pooja bhavana shradha aarti archana aradhana shanti Jyoti priti & finaly Trupti Team SMS (9760) 42 Thappad marne pe naraj patni ko pati bola,"adami use marta he jise pyar karta he." Patni ne pati ko 2 mare or boli "aap kya samjte he k me apse pyar nahi karti. Team SMS (9748) 43 Police:tumhe kal subah 5 baje fhansi di jayegi santa: HA. HA. HA! police: kyon has rahe ho? santa: mai to subah 8 baje utthoonga Team SMS (9746) 44 Santa k ghar ladki hui Banta:Jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge. Santa:

Maine iska intezam kar liya! Banta:kya? Santa: Iska naam DiDi rakha hai! Team SMS (9716) 45 Banta: yaar tum itne bade ho gaye ho aur abi tak dadi aur mooch nahi aayi. SANTA: yaar main apni maa pe gaya hu na isliye. Munabhai-Ye sali govt drinking nd driving sath2 Q nahi karne deti? Circuit-Simple hE bhai.Bhai wo speed breakar aane par gilas gir sakta he. Team SMS (9696) 47 Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient.. Team SMS (9693) 48 Man: Sir, my wife is missing. Postmaster:Ye Post office hai, Police station me complaint dijiye Man: KHUSHI ke maare mein kya karu, kuch samajh mei nahi aata!! Team SMS (9685) 49 2srdar jngl me:Samne sher aya,1ne mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,2nd wahi ruk gya 1st:abe bhag 2nd:me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he Team SMS (9676) 50 1Srdar-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai 2srdar:kaise? 1 srdar:Mene"I Luv U"kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai. Team SMS (9674) 51 Munna bhai. A cercuit MURGA & MURGI me diffrence kaise samajhne ka? Cercuit. Simple hai bhai,Ek patthar marne ka BHAGA to MURGA or BHAGI to MURGI... Team SMS (9667) 52 Wife:Chalo na kahin chalte hai,ghumne car me aur car me drive karungi. Husband:Yadi tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me,ayenge akhbaar me Team SMS (9663) 53 Ganguli's son : Are dekho maa. Papa sixer pe sixer mare ja rahe hain. Gangulis wife : Beta ye ADVERTISEMENT hai !!! .....:-) Team SMS (9660) 54 DAKU-TERA NAAM KYA HAI.LADY-RITA. DAKU-MERI BEHANKA NAAM BI RITA THA.JA TUJE MAF KIYA.DAKU-TERA KYA NAAM HAI?SANTASANTA,PAR PYARSE LOGMUJE RITA KEHTE HAI. Team SMS (9659) 55 Ravan ko court me le gae bola Gita par hanth rakho RAVEN - Nahi Sita par hanth rakhkar itni musibat aai ab Gita par hant nahi rakhunga. Team SMS (9645) 56 HRITHIK:Aaj Mere pass 14Car hai,8 Bikes hai,4 Bunglow hai,Farm house hai..... Tumhare pass kya hai? ABHISHEK:Mere baap ke sir pe bal hai! Team SMS (9642) 57 Girl:Is dress ka kya price hai?Shopkeeper:Sirf 5 kiss.Girl:Aur us dress ka? Shopkeeper:10 kiss.Girl:Dono dress pack kar do,bill dadi dengi. Team SMS (9618) 58 santa got himself a puzzle game. It took him 10 hard months to finish it. He was so proud of himself because at the side of the box it was written: "2-3 yrs" Team SMS (9531) 59 Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Team SMS (9235) 60 Santa saw a man stealing a purse. THIEF:"There is Rs.1100 in the purse. V can take 50-50" Santa : Okay,bt Wht bout d remaining 1000? A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe.. Team SMS (9078) 62 Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential Team SMS (9077) 63 Santa roj apni kichen me jata,sugar box kholta or band kar deta! Why ? Because doctor ne jo kaha tha ke apni sugar roj check karna....! Team SMS (9074) 64 Bhikhari : Sahab 1 Rupaye de do!!! Sahab : kal Ana.. Bhikhari : Sara is kal kal ke chakkar mein to is basti me mera Lakho Rupaye fase hai!! Team SMS (9073) 65 What is the moral of movie RANG DE BASANTI? Ladkiyo ke lafde me mat pado� Khali ladkiya bachti hai, baki sab ladke mar jate hai.. Team SMS (9066) 66 Ek bhoot doosre bhoot se : Tujhe kisi se dar nahi lagta? 2sra : nahin 1st :

kabhi sardar dekha hai? 2ra: sardar vardar kuch nahi hota, sab man ka vaham hai Team SMS (9064) 67 A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar : Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies : Oye ! No idea�Im new to this city.. Team SMS (9063) 68 Santa banta ko 3 live Bomb milte hai� Santa aur banta un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai��.. (raste mein� ) Santa : agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to??? Banta:jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the Team SMS (9062) 69 A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. �You�ll get your chance in court,� said the desk sergeant. �No, no, no!�, said the man. �I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I�ve been trying to do that for years!� Team SMS (9061) 70 bikari : 50 paise de de ,maine 3 din se khana nahi khaya baba marvadi : 50 paise nahi 5 rupaye dunga,pehle yeh bata 50 paise mein khana kaha milta hai��?? Team SMS (9060) 71 judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later Team SMS (9059) 72 Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary. Banta: Kya Goal mara. Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai Team SMS (9026) 73 Santa to banta. Yaar Tumhary Bewi shehar(city) ke hai ya pind(village) ki.. Banta. Pind ki. Santa.ooh acha . main samja shayed Tumhary hai Team SMS (9025) 74 A MAN TO HIS FRND-MAIN APNA PURSE GHAR PE BHUL AAYA MUJHE 1000 RS KI ZARURAT HAI BANTA-DOST HI DOST KE KAM ATTA HAI YE LE 10 RS RIKSHA KAR KE PURSE LE AA Team SMS (9024) 75 What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.