You are on page 1of 112

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any

place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story l

ines are created from the authors imaginations or are used fictitiously.
The Good Girl: Copyright 2014 by Lily White and Dawn Robertson
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, sca
nned, distributed in any printed or electronic form or used in any manner whatso
ever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of
brief quotations in a book review.

The Good Girl is dedicated to:

The dreamers and the supporters

The people who, day in and day out, continue to support every book or project wi
th which we are a part
Stephanie from Stephanies Book Reports for introducing us

Our families for dealing with the voices that haunt us

Our angels for guiding us through the dark hours
The naysayers for watching us kick ass and take names; continuing to do what we

To the readers for being amazing.

We love you all.

Chapter One
~ Eleni ~
I always wished I could be Peter Pan. I didnt want to grow up and live with all t
he shitty responsibilities of adulthood; but yet, there I was: Twenty-four years

old and on my own. I looked around my tiny, rent-controlled studio apartment vivid colors covering each of the four walls, only broken up by the paintings an
d photographs Id taken over the years.
It wasnt much, but it was mine.
My head was pounding because I didnt wear a hangover well at all. Blinking my eye
s open, I looked around the room making sure I didnt bring anyone home with me th
e night before. The coast looked clear, thankfully, and the black pants and cors
et I wore bartending were still in place.
How drunk must I have been to actually fall asleep in that shit?
Stretching my arms out, I realized that my body ached. I pushed up from the bed,
stumbling to the mirror and making the mistake of looking at my reflection. My
hair was matted from the abundant amount of hairspray Id used for work and my mak
eup was smeared all over my face.
The alarm on my iPhone sang The Ballad of a Lonely Man by Mike Ness, reminding m
e that I had an hour until I would be stuck in class for the rest of the day.
The only thing I wanted to do was roll over and go back to bed so that I could s
leep this shit off.
American Lit, Sociology, and Clinical Therapy would pack my day when I just want
ed to be painting or working on my clinical rotation. Grad school was nothing li
ke the fuckin movies, that was for damn sure. There was nothing like a bunch of a
lcoholics working through withdrawal by drawing with fuckin Crayola markers or co
loring within the lines to send me straight into a depression. But, I preferred
to be on my side of the therapy table than theirs. It would have been easy for m
e to fall into their seat, drooling on myself, looking thirty years older than I
already was.
Someone once told me that every student who goes into programs for psychology or
therapy are there to diagnose themselves and every time I woke up in my shithol
e of an apartment and had to pat myself down to make sure I didnt do anything too
fucked up the night before, I believed it. I had a drinking problem, I liked to
stay numb; but going to class, learning how to treat the addiction in others th
at I have in myself that made me believe that I was at least one step ahead of t
he crowd and that I might not fuck my life up as bad as the people who raised me
Maybe my parents would have benefited from some good ol art therapy instead of wa
sting away their lives with a needle in their arm. I shook my head, pushing asid
e the thoughts about the people who brought me into this world. Parents would be t
oo loose of a term to use when describing those deadbeat wastes of space.
Cranking on the water in the shower to the hottest setting it will go, I noticed
how the old pipes in this shitty brownstone took ages to warm up; but it was af
fordable - thanks to my late grandmother. Although, I could have done without th
e pink tub.
My phone buzzed on the counter. Picking it up, I saw Mollys name flash across the
screen. She was my best friend my only friend - that Id known my entire life. Sh
e was the ying to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly, the June to my Johnny.
I used to hide at her house any chance I could get at least until my parents wo
uld find me, and drag me back home.

Yo, bitch. I answered, and Molly sassed me right back.

Hey cunt, we still on for tomorrow?
Of course we were. The New York City Tattoo Convention was something Id been look
ing forward to for months. I took the entire weekend off from bartending at Club
Red just so I could fully enjoy myself at the event. I didnt want to have to rus
h away early just to dress like a whore and sling drinks to the desperate men th
at would hit on me before stumbling their asses out the door when I turned them
You bet, love bug. Gotta run, the water just got hot.
She laughed at me knowing I had about 10 good minutes of hot water before it tur
ned ice cold once again.
See ya tonight, Im gonna come by Red for a couple drinks with Asher.
I said my goodbye and tried to scrub the rancid hangover from my body. Feeling l
ike I was hit by a truck and then backed over again, I quickly realized that I n
eeded to learn a little thing called moderation; although, when you have addict pa
rents, you are only one step away from their fate.
I wondered about them while I washed my body. What did they want to do with thei
r lives before drugs became their first priority? Did they love each other? Or d
id they only stay together because I came into the picture?
I dont know much about them because they died when I was only eight and that was
when I was packed up and shipped to Greenwich Village New York City to live with
my grandmother because Grams, my moms foster mom, was really the only person willi
ng to claim me.
Grams died when I was a teenager. Refusing to go into a foster home when she die
d, I slipped the system and have been on my own ever since.
* * *
You know, you really shouldnt drink while youre working, Molly harassed me while I t
hrew back the shot of Jameson thoughtfully purchased for me by the guy at the en
d of the bar. I shrugged my shoulders and savored the burn of the amber liquid.
My favorite by far - it always helped me to forget.
Dont give a shit. As long as the customers buy it for me, I can drink it at least
according to Boss-man. Of course Brent, the owner of Club Red, would probably hav
e had an absolute shit fit if he saw how fucked up I get nine times out of ten.
Elle, seriously. You worry me sometimes, Molly leaned over the bar and tried to gr
ab my hand like we are about to have some kind of heart-to-heart in the middle o
f an old Rockabilly club that smelled like piss. I brushed her off, not feeling
like sharing my feelings or openly lamenting my future position as resident alco
holic bartender in this dump Brent called a business.
Molly, Im fine. Seriously. I was pretty sure Id just slurred that out.
Maybe I wasnt fine; but, whatever. Id made it that far in life as a functioning pa
rt of society - I didnt need anyone telling me I was a fuck up. Especially not a
life size Barbie doll that was made up entirely of bleach and plastic.
Dont get me wrong, I loved Molly to death, but she was everything I refused to be
and not in a good way. Sure, I could tie on a bottle, but Molly was on a crash

course for the STD pharmaceutical line stripping for a living and taking most of
her customers home for a bonus ride most nights.
Whatevs Elle, Im outta here. Take a fuckin cab tonight.
Molly turned and walked out of the bar while I flipped her off. She didnt see it,
obviously, because she had her back to me. I hated it when she started on me ab
out the shit I did especially when she was right next to me as poster child for
Id convinced myself that I had it all under control and that there was no way I w
as ever going to end up like my parents.
After finishing up my shift at the bar, I was determined to call it an early nig
ht. In the morning Molly and I would dominate the tattoo convention - something
I looked forward to every damn year. It was me in my element. The people, the ar
t - watching the tattoo artists claim their newest victim and work on the most b
eautiful pieces hoping to win some kind of prize.
It was the only highlight of my year.
* * *
My hands ran over the bar, lazily rubbing a dirty towel to clean up the many spi
lled drinks on the counter. From the corner of my eye, the two full sleeves of t
attoos caught my attention. His black, slicked-back hair was the second thing I
noticed I always found it hard to resist a brunette man. Looking a little longer
, I noticed he was older with the beginnings of grey hair peeking through his pe
rfectly trimmed sideburns. After stepping up to the bar, he ordered a Guinness f
rom Danielle the 40 something year old drink slinger that had arrived to replace
me. We locked eyes and the deal was sealed.
Feeling somewhat loose thanks to the rounds customers had provided me over the e
vening, I decided not to deny myself that ride that the handsome stranger looked
like he could provide. I pressed my red lips together and made my way to the ot
her end of the bar where he sat alone.
Can I get ya anything? I knew hed already been served by the full beer pressed to h
is thin lips, but I didnt care. I wanted to feel those lips all over my damn body
Your number, babe, he replied without missing a beat and with a smirk that spoke o
f nothing but bad things. Pressing the bottle of beer up to his lips, he winked.
How about we just skip the numbers and you meet me after my shift. I cut to the po
int. There was no need leading him on, thinking there would be anything more tha
n just sex. I didnt do more than sex. I didnt do relationships or actual feelings.
They just werent my thing.
I can honestly say that, throughout my entire life, Id never found myself having
any kind of feelings for another person.
Sure, I loved my Grandma; but it was the kind of love forced on a person at a yo
ung age. A love we werent willing to deny if thats what we saw fit. It was the kin
d that was born and bred into us. Did I cry when she died? No. After thinking ab
out it, I didnt think I was capable of that type of emotion. Better off that way,
right? Thats what I always figured.
For the next couple of hours, he lingered - watching me from afar while he playe
d pool and had a couple more beers. He was just how I liked them: drunk enough t

o be fun and sober enough to be able to actually get it up. Cheryl, the other ba
rtender, kicked the lights on and announced last call, allowing me to make my wa
y to the bathroom for the first time since Id arrived. Shit had been crazy and I
was desperate to for something to relieve the anxiety of a busy night.
I closed the stall and took care of business. The door opened and closed a coupl
e times and I listened to the heels clicking across the floor and the toilets fl
ushing. It was all the typical shit you hear in a dirty ass bar bathroom. After
opening the stall, I turned to wash my hands when I noticed the silver fox stand
ing against the closed bathroom door. Excitement coursed through my veins when I
realized he wanted to get the party started early.
I figured Id save you some time, babe, he said as he took a couple steps in my dire
ction before pushing me into the handicapped stall. The second the door latched,
we pulled at our clothing as if our lives depended on it - both muffling the mo
ans of the other with our mouths. His rough hand pushed up my skirt and ripped t
he tiny thong clean off my body. I didnt realize it, but his other hand had alrea
dy freed his hard cock.
His hands grabbed my ass and pushed me up against the dirty wall. My legs wrappe
d around his waist, and without any warning, he slammed inside of me. I let out
a scream and savored every fucking thrust. He filled me perfectly, and in that m
oment, he was everything I needed.
In and out he slammed as my eyes rolled into the back of my head with pleasure.
You like that you dirty little slut? he asked while I reached between our bodies a
nd rubbed my fingers along my swollen clit.
As much as you do, old man. This was quickly becoming
ent had the pleasure of experiencing in a long time. I
climax as he hammered away. A couple more thrusts and I
lder, riding my wave of pleasure when he pulled out and
om floor.

a hate fuck. Something I hav

felt my body building its
was biting onto his shou
came all over the bathro

I was glad I didnt have to clean that shit up and I felt bad for the sucker that
did. Without a word, we both fix our clothes, and go our separate ways.
When I made my way out of the stall, Cheryl was standing there with a big ass sm
ile on her face.
Should have known it was you, was all she said as I walked out and headed home for
the evening.
I never said another word to my silver fox as I left the bar. He was never meant
for anything more than a quick fuck in a dirty bathroom stall.

Chapter Two
~ Gabriel ~
The New York City Tattoo Convention. It was a place for the freaks in this State

to annually gather. Men and women needles, alcohol and drugs it was a mecca for
those who longed to live life on the edge, who didnt fit into the normal mold of
society, and who spent their time actually living their lives instead of follow
ing a daily routine of work or school or kids.
I was fortunate that I was not a servant to any of lifes normal masters. I was in
dependently wealthy because of the trust fund my parents had left me when they d
ied so many years before. I almost died with them, but I believe my youth, the f
act that I wasnt bracing for the impact and the fact that I was obviously being p
unished and forced to live this mundane life, were the factors that kept me aliv
Scars ran over my body from the burns I suffered in the crash. I hated those sca
rs, hated myself for having to bear them and, as soon as I was old enough, I col
lected tattoos to cover them. I had full sleeves of different tribal patterns an
d small archaic symbols that most people wouldnt recognize but I knew what they m
eant and that was the only thing that mattered. They were protection against the
demons that lived around me that lived inside me and who spoke to me, never shu
tting up to give me a moments peace.
My back was covered by an intricate back piece large, scaly beasts breathing fir
e, cherry blossoms blowing through the effervescent haze of the smoke caused by
the dragons breath. It had taken months to complete and every drop of blood I she
d for it had been worth it. His diaphanous wings spread across my back, strong a
nd powerful, as if just one beat of those wings could lift me off the ground.
Nobody ever saw him my beast. Nobody ever saw the inside of my home much less wh
at was in my pants. Thats not to say I was some innocent virgin who never knew wh
at it was to taste a womans cunt. Id tasted many, shoved my cock in so many holes
that I couldnt tell you the number. I didnt bother to count or remember names. I n
ever saw the women again after Id left them wet and sated in some poorly lit bar
restroom or in the alleyways of the city. I usually found them when they were dr
unk, stumbling around looking for the perfect dick to bounce on for the night. I
had rules however. I never fucked without protection never kissed the sluts on
the mouth or gave them my real name. Id never bothered to remove my shirt despite
their drunken pleas to see the ink that covered my body. Those markings werent f
or them to admire, and the last thing I needed was some stupid bitch rubbing her
finger along the inked lines that were more to me than just a pretty picture.
I was the definition of a recluse the odd, eccentric orphan who grew up alone an
d remained alone when he became an adult. I never went outside during the day an
d I didnt know the names of any of my neighbors. Children didnt ring my bell on Ha
lloween and Christmas lights never adorned the roof of my home. I had no family,
no friends no lovers. I spent my time alone. I didnt do what normal people did a
nd I had odd habits. For instance, when I was bored, I would research serial kil
lers or mass murderers. I guess you can say thats odd, but really, I was curious.
I wondered if those men and women who were infamous for having committed great
acts of evil had heard the same demons inside them that I had in me. Had they li
stened and gone out to commit the atrocious acts and basked in the feel of their
victims blood on their hands?
If their demons were anything like mine then yes, they had.
I wanted to listen as well, but I wouldnt let some nagging voice inside me choose
my fate. I didnt want my victims blood on my hands or the image of their dying ey
es burned into my memory. I wasnt a bad guy I didnt want to hurt people and I wasnt
bitter, despite the shit hand that life had dealt me. If anything, I was misund
erstood labeled a freak by the people who knew me the people I never let get clo
se enough to see the person I was inside.

Ive been on medication since my condition was discovered when I was 13. I lived w
ith my aunt then and she noticed the way I would look at things that werent in th
e room how I would argue with myself and become angry when Id spent too much time
alone. After a while she listened to those arguments and realized I wasnt just a
nother person thinking out loud. I was talking to someone else entirely, someone
who wasnt really there.
Shed rushed me to the nearest shrink and after multiple evaluations and a few ove
rnight stays in the hospital; they slapped a pretty label on me, shoved pills in
my pocket and sent me on my way with nothing more than a good luck. My aunt was r
eligious about administering the meds. I hated them. They made me tired and all
I ever wanted to do was sleep. For five years I was force fed a substance that t
urned me into a zombie that took away my imagination and the little bit of happi
ness I had when I could escape into the world of my thoughts.
When I was eighteen, I moved out of my aunts house. She argued with me about leav
ing and the last words I said to her were fuck off. She died three weeks later in
a crash just like my folks. A drunken man had swerved into her lane, forcing her
off the side of the road and head on into a tree. I visited the site many times
after her death, peeling the burnt bark from the tree, trying to remove the evi
dence of a woman whod given her life to raise me only to be told to fuck off befo
re she died. It was enough to fuel my deep-seated hatred for alcohol and drugs f
or users and abusers.
Drugs and alcohol had destroyed my life, bit by painful bit, leaving me alone an
d flailing in a world I didnt understand or recognize as my own. I hated drugs so
much, I even stopped taking the medication Id been fed for so many years and I w
as returned to a dark and ethereal world in my head, full of lovely visions and
dark thoughts. The whispers came back and spoke to me endlessly. I cant say I was
upset with the company. If nothing else, the ideas they gave entertained me on
long nights when I sat in a dark room illuminated by candles and, occasionally,
the flicker of the television.
Stepping into the large convention center, I glanced over the booths spaced out
across the room. Artists sat bent over men and women some who were obvious ink e
nthusiasts and others who dared to get that butterfly on their hip as a show of
rebellion to their parents. I avoided those types. They couldnt begin to understa
nd the machinations of my brain and I needed someone darker, as tortured as me,
who I could call mine.
There was one woman in particular whom Id followed over the years. I wasnt a full
time stalker, but I would look her up every now and again on the Internet. Socia
l sites made finding people so much easier in the modern day and Id find myself a
wake late at night looking at pictures shed uploaded or drunken tweets she made t
o friends.
She was always wasted always fucked up - and I wondered if she was trying to for
get her life as much as I was trying to forget mine.
Id bumped into her once in a tattoo parlor in the middle of the city. Shed just ha
d some touch up work done and I was inside visiting with the artist who had crea
ted the beast on my back. He was with a ditzy, blonde customer who was having a
small heart inked on her shoulder. She cried at the pain and threw a fit, so Id w
alked outside to wait for him to get done. The last thing I needed was to hear h
er shrill voice that day.
Standing by the doors, I small woman came out of the shop and leaned up against
the wall next to me. She pulled out her phone and was scrolling through one of t
he thousands of networking sites on the net. Id casually glanced over and noticed
her name.

I remember that she smelled like alcohol when it wasnt even noon yet that day. Sh
e caught me looking at her screen and called me a fucking asshole before stalkin
g back into the store, the smell of booze trailing behind her.
I hated her almost instantly looked at her like she was one of the people who ha
d a hand in ruining my life.
But even still, I was attracted to her. She seemed depressed and broken pissed o
ff at the world and all the people who inhabited it. She could have been a kindr
ed spirit that I was letting slip away because of my aversion to being social or
making friendly conversation. I was never good at small talk and I couldnt handl
e a conversation about the weather when there was so much pain and heartache tha
t we choose to turn our heads and ignore.
She left the store fifteen minutes later and her name flashed in my memory seare
d into some small part of my brain that wouldnt let me forget her face or her eye
s that had glared up at me when she caught me peeking at the screen of her phone
I despised her for being a drunk and wanted her because I knew her soul was just
as damaged as mine.
After going home that night, I looked her up. The name was familiar but I couldnt
quite place where Id heard it before. I scrolled through countless photographs o
f her and a single friend. Most of the shots were from bars two girls who had th
eir tits hanging out of their shirts, with large smiles plastered across their f
aces a shot glass in each hand, held up before they poured the poison down their
throats. I searched for her every night and quickly, my fascination with her be
came an obsession. From the photographs and posts, I felt like I knew her that i
n some way Id become a part of her life.
Every year she came to this convention. You could tell by the photographs taken
and posted throughout the day that she became more trashed with each passing hou
r. Her posts, which were normally spelled correctly and with proper grammar, wou
ld suddenly morph into gibberish on the screen.
Somebody should have told this woman that she should leave her phone at home on
the nights she got wasted. She revealed too much of herself and she made it too
easy for me to discover everything there was to know about her.
Walking around the large space of the convention, I nodded my head in greeting t
o the artists I knew well. Wed bonded over the years as they worked diligently to
cover my scars. The people who had covered the tragedy of my life that was bran
ded into my skin had been the only ones to get to know me as anything more than
a creepy guy or a midnight fuck.
After making a round, I started the circle again.
When I heard a familiar voice cussing at the top of her lungs and laughing like
nothing in the world could bother her, I stopped in my tracks.
I turned around and there she was, a friend on her arm and a beer in her hand. I
glanced at my watch and laughed. It wasnt even 10:30 a.m. and she was tying one
on already.
If there was anything I could count on with her, it was that shed be drunk when I
found her and it was exactly the thing I relied on when I decided to make her m

Chapter Three
It was almost noon - I knew because thats what the screen on my iPhone told me. A
lready, Id downed a couple of beers and turned down a handful of advances from cr
eepers wandering around the convention. I had an appointment with Rev Chriss in
an hour. He was the only person I let tattoo me, and he has done every inch of s
kin that is inked on my body. I trust him, unlike everyone else in the world.
Walking to the closest garbage can, I tossed the empty beer bottle in and willed
myself to sober up long enough to get tattooed without Chriss turning me away.
It sucked that alcohol thins the blood because there was nothing like the numbne
ss of a twelve pack to chase away the sting of a needle. To be honest, Id rather
risk the blood loss but the artists have rules and I have to follow them. I trie
d to stay optimistic by reminding myself that once this tat was done, I could pr
oceed with getting black out drunk.
My body was jolted from behind and a tall guy with dark hair and piercing green
eyes excused himself. His stare lingered longer than any fucking polite persons w
ould have. I wanted to flip him off, but I kept my rude behavior to myself and w
alked away, only mildly sassing him:
Excuse you, fuckface.
Molly elbowed me in the side. Can you ever get that stick out of your ass, Elle?
Shrugging her off, I continued to walk around. She tagged along behind me like a
lost puppy. I had my doubts that she was into the whole scene as much as I was
and I thought, more than anything, that she used it as a way to rebel against th
e perfect life her parents handed her. She wanted to find a hot tattooed bad boy
to fuck occasionally when her on again-off again boy toy, Asher, wasnt giving he
r the kink her inner slut desired.
Todays tattoo project was the beginning of the Archangel Gabriel on my thigh. Alm
ost every inch of my body was covered in your typical Sailor Jerry style artwork
, but this tattoo was different, it was unique and something the world wouldnt se
e. It had meaning for me. It was for my parents. It was for protection. It was t
o ward off all the demons that lingered inside my head. The same ones I used the
alcohol to routinely numb.
What would happen when I finally went into my clinical rotation and couldnt start
drinking half way through the school day? I hated to think about turning to som
ething else. I wouldnt touch drugs. They took my parents, and I wouldnt let those
demons claim my soul. Would pills be pushing it too far? Would I finally break d
own and take the antidepressants that had been prescribed to me after the first
time I tried to kill myself? I didnt know, but I hoped that Id be able to manage a
n eight-hour workday without slipping a few sips of the flask Id bought to carry
Shit. I didnt want to think about this bullshit. Today was supposed to be a freei
ng day. Today was supposed to be fun a day when I could finally let go of all th
e shit Id been forced to think about day in and day out for most of my life.

When Molly walked off in the direction of the creepy dude with the green eyes, I
searched for a map. I had to find Chriss booth before I lost my appointment slot
with him - something I had no fucking plan on doing. She was on her own with th
e serial killer in the making. I couldnt save her all the damn time anyways.
It wasnt long until I stumbled across his booth. A young bubbly blonde was standi
ng in front of a mirror, admiring the stereotypical nautical star Chriss had jus
t tattooed on her stomach when I walked up.
Elle, babe! Chriss stood and made his way over, ripping the vinyl protective glove
s off and tossing them into the garbage can to his right.
Long time no see. You gotta come to the city more often. I wasnt interested in taki
ng the train to his shop in Connecticut anymore. It was overkill and that was wh
y I hadnt had any work done since the convention last year.
Aww, did mommy and daddy buy her a piece of rebellion? I laughed as the blonde wal
ked off through the crowds. I hated her type. Perfect, every piece of hair on he
r head always in place and every inch of makeup like professionals had applied i
t. Im sure she had a brand new BMW sitting in a parking lot on the Upper East Sid
e too. Douchebag.
Chriss laughed and shook his head while preparing the fresh needles and new ink.
After what seemed like an eternity later, I was finally laying on the table rea
dy for him to begin. A crowd gathered when they saw the size of the stencil on m
y leg well, because of that and the fact that I was lying on the table in my pan
ties. Might as well give them a good show right?
You could have at least worn boy shorts or something, Elle. Chriss laughed, referr
ing to the thong barely covering my ass. I was sure if anyone looked hard enough
, they could score a free show too.
I wouldnt be myself if I didnt give the crowd what they wanted, right? We laughed an
d bantered back and forth as the buzz of the tattoo gun filled the air between u
s. The bite of the needle was exactly what I needed to set myself free. Itd been
so long since I used my ink as therapy. It almost let me forget my fucked up lif
Five hours passed in the blink of an eye and he was smoothing A&D ointment along
my leg, telling me I could get dressed. Id been so lost within my head that I di
dnt even realize he was finishing.
Onlookers might have thought I was sleeping. Most people assume that; but what m
ost didnt know was that I was so deep within my own head that nothing could ever
snap me out of the trance. It was only when the pain eased up that real life int
errupted my musings. I reminded myself that I really needed to have more work do
ne because I was the freest Id felt in a really long time. Not even the booze cou
ld give me that kind of peace of mind.
Holy fuck, Elle. I hear Molly as she pushed through the crowd. Her eyes met my thi
gh, which was now covered in a large, dark angel. His wings are big and detailed
, spreading across to the front of my body. He holds a scroll and shield - all h
elping to ward off the demons. My demons. The demons my parents gifted me with t
he moment they overdosed and allowed the drugs to kill them.
Ive always found it funny that my parents named me Eleni. It means light. A joke
when considering that my life has been full of darkness since I was brought into
this shit-tastic world. Light - my ass.

As I pulled my pants back on, I reached for the flask in my purse and hammered b
ack a shot of whiskey. Bringing it away from my lips, my eyes scanned the crowd
that was still gathered around and that was when I saw him again. Not all of him
, just the piercing green eyes that shone out from beneath the hood of his black
sweatshirt. I felt like I was being followed; that, despite the hundreds of peo
ple surrounding us, I was the only person in his sights. Then again, I hadnt gott
en much alcohol into my system in the past couple hours so I convinced myself th
at it was just my fucking mind playing tricks on me again.
The demons fucking with me. Taunting me.
Fuck them.

Chapter Four
~ Gabriel ~
I was surprised she didnt bleed more when she had the angel tattooed on her thigh
. She woke up from the table after five hours of exposing her ass to the entire
convention center.
Luckily for her she had a nice ass.
I didnt watch her the entire time. I passed by every once in a while, only stoppi
ng for a few minutes at a time to watch from within the crowd. She looked peacef
ul when the needle buzzed over her skin. While Chriss hunched over her body - in
king then blotting and starting again - her eyes were closed, her breathing was
slow and rhythmic and her body remained completely still impassive. I was impres
sed. The detail that went into that piece was incredible and detail like that re
quired a deeper line. I had dozens of tattoos like that inscribed all over my bo
dy and I knew that, after a while, it would feel like someone was cutting the de
sign into your skin with a scalpel.
As I walked around the center, Elenis ditzy friend bumped into me a few times. Sh
e would laugh it off and lay her hand on my forearm. I pulled away each time, po
litely brushing her off. If it had been any other person, I would have been clea
r that I wasnt interested, but this girl could either make or break my attempt at
talking to Eleni. As it turned out, she was useful. When she ran into me in the
crowd in front of Chriss booth, she wouldnt shut up. I listened and after 30 minu
tes of rambling, she invited me to the bar that she and Eleni were planning on g
oing to after the convention.
I smiled when she gave me that information and I told her that I had plans for t
he night. I didnt, but its impossible to watch someone when they know that youre th
ere. If I couldnt bring myself to talk to her, I could at least watch her from on
e of the shadowed tables in the bar.
After learning where Eleni would be later, I left the convention. Walking down t
he street quickly, I attempted to blow off some of the anxiety thatd built up in
me from when I was around her.
She aggravated me a bright soul grown dull from the amount of alcohol she used c
onstantly to flood her system. She was angry, hurt and scared of life and she ma
sked it with a bright smile and intoxicated eyes. From what Id read and the pictu

res Id seen, she was lost floating and untethered. She was throwing away her life
like it was nothing more than an empty bottle that could easily be replaced by
I needed to talk to her, to find out why I was so attracted to her despite what
she represented in my life. She wasnt my type. She was loud and obnoxious - but i
t drove me fucking crazy to not be around her. There had been many nights that I
sat at her bar watching her studying her every move. I was fascinated by the wa
y her lips moved when she talked, or the small dimple that would appear on her c
heek when she smiled. I never intended to become a stalker and for all intents a
nd purposes, I wasnt but I wanted to see her in person, to hear the voice that we
nt with the bird she was flicking at some random guy. She was rude, angry, spite
ful and so fucking beautiful all at the same time. It must have been her spirit
that attracted me to her - her ability to project herself into the world instead
of hiding behind ink or the walls of her house.
The reason that I wanted to be near her was the same reason that I despised her
so much. She was alive, and I felt like I wasnt.
But the alcohol would destroy her and I hated her for that as well.
After walking for at least an hour, I ended up back at the convention center. Th
e timing was perfect because just as I strolled up the sidewalk, she stumbled ou
t with her ditzy friend. Partially hidden behind a tree, I watched her stumble d
own the steps, holding onto her friend and laughing so loud that it echoed down
the street. I smiled. Her face beamed when she was happy, and it was rare to see
a smile on her face that was genuine.
The one I saw now was real and I wanted to know what it was exactly that took th
e weight off her shoulders.
Through the rest of the day, Eleni and her friend barhopped amongst the many est
ablishments spread within a half-mile radius of the convention center. By the ti
me the sun had set, neither of them could walk a straight line. Eventually they
ended up at the Green Room, a local bar that always had live local bands and ple
nty of groupies hoping for a drunken night with their favorite musician. I enter
ed the bar keeping to the shadowed areas. Immediately upon entering, I noticed t
hat Eleni and her friend were at the main bar ordering a round of shots. I wonde
red how they remained standing and watched them for another hour before Elenis fr
iend pulled her out onto the dance floor.
She moved seductively, her hips swaying almost independently from the rest of he
r body. Even if I hadnt been following her already, the way she moved would have
attracted my attention. She danced like she was having sex, her arms in the air,
the small bits of alcohol still left in her glass, splashing out and rolling do
wn her arm. When she threw her head back laughing, I imagined thats what she woul
d look like speared on my dick, her mouth opened wide, releasing a scream that I
had forced out of her.
And for as much as I hated her because of the life she chose to live, at that mo
ment, I had to have her.
It was impossible to resist approaching her. Stepping forward onto the dance flo
or, I dodged other drunken dancers, making my way around the crowd to get behind
Eleni. When I was close enough to reach out and touch her, two more men approac
hed. They said a few words to her friend who immediately smiled and started danc
ing with one while shoving the other towards Eleni.
My skin prickled to see her accept him with open arms. I wanted nothing more tha
n to rip his head from his shoulders and leave his limp and bloody body there fo

r everyone to see. Eleni was mine and I didnt appreciate seeing his hands rub dow
n her back, or across her ass. By the time his mouth was running over her jaw to
kiss down her neck, every muscle in my back was locked with the anger boiling i
However, it wasnt my place to charge forward and claim her.
At first, she danced with him and I stepped back, still angry and jealous to wat
ch his hands roam over her. He took liberty with her body, rubbing his hands ove
r the curve of her hips, up along the sides of her abdomen, his fingers brushing
along her breasts. She didnt appear interested or responsive to his touch; but s
he made no move to push him away. When he tried to kiss her, she turned her head
smiling, but still obviously not interested in taking it farther than dancing.
After a few minutes and without warning, he reached up and grabbed her face, for
cing his mouth on hers and she pushed at him. Nobody on the dance floor noticed
what was going on, not even her friend who was too busy making out with the guys
friend. My fists clenched and I watched. She fought him, dropping her plastic cu
p on the ground and when it looked as if hed overpower her, I stepped forward.
Ill admit Im a sick bastard. It turned me on to see her struggle against him. I im
agined how the fingernails she used to scratch his skin would feel on my back, h
ow her mouth she used to cuss him out would feel wrapped around the head of my c
ock. Those shouldnt be the thoughts of a hero when he runs in to rescue the damse
l, but they were mine.
When I finally reached them, I grabbed the asshole by the arm, pulling him off E
leni. He immediately turned to hit me, but I caught his fist easily using the fa
ct that I was sober to my advantage. He started to yell at me, his words running
together because of his level of intoxication and I laughed as I twisted his ar
m around, holding it against his back and pushing up. The snap of the bone made
my blood pound even harder. He screamed again and I dropped him to the floor.
Leaning down, I spoke loudly in his ear. I think you need to apologize to the lad
y for being an asshole.
Fuck you dick! Let me the fuck go!
Looking over, I noticed Eleni stepping back, her eyes locking to mine as I conti
nued holding on to her drunken attacker. He thrashed to break my grip, but when
he moved to punch me again, I pulled his arm up and forced his face to the floor
. It was his scream from that move that attracted attention and, eventually, the
crowd began to move away.
With all eyes on me, I knelt down to give him my final warning. Either leave the
lady alone, or Ill remove your other fucking arm after breaking it in three place
s first. Next will be your teeth and following, that Ill break your fucking legs.
His wrist snapped again under my grip and he screamed. I released him and he cra
dled his arm to his chest before running off the floor, most likely searching fo
r help. Realizing it was time to leave. I looked back at Eleni and her blue eyes
were opened wide as she stared at me. I smiled and grabbed her hand to drag her
off the floor. At first she struggled against me and I hissed out a breath to f
eel her skin against mine. However, she was tiny and easily handled. Pulling her
against me, I placed my mouth against her ear when I warned, Hell come back and w
hen he doesnt find me, hell look for you. I suggest you leave with me now.
She struggled again, but then reconsidered. Her eyes looked to our right and she
noticed the guy returning with a group of friends. It didnt take long for her to
understand that if she didnt leave with me, shed be dealing with more trouble the

n she was ready to handle. After she finally placed her hand in mine, we walked
quickly from the bar. Pushing through the exit door, the cold night air brushed
against my skin as I moved quickly to disappear into the shadowed alleys behind
the building. She couldnt keep up with my stride due to her small stature. Frustr
ated, I grabbed her legs, one at a time, and pulled the sky high heels from her
tiny feet. She didnt complain and she didnt attempt to break away from me. Despite
my hatred for alcohol, I was thanking God for it at that moment because she was
too intoxicated to realize that a strange man had just dragged her away from ev
erybody that could save her.
I was leading her to my car when she finally pulled me back. My friend. I cant lea
ve her.
Shell be fine. I continued to pull her forward not losing a beat in my step in reac
tion to her protest.
Her strength was no match to mine. Pushing forward, I could feel the pulse in he
r fingers and I know her heart was racing in her chest. She looked between me an
d the bar, becoming hesitant about leaving with me. However, when the man who at
tacked her on the dance floor suddenly appeared on the street, her decision was
Apparently, I seemed like the safer option.
I wasnt but she didnt know that.
Eventually, we made it to my car and I opened the door to let her inside. She sa
t in the front passenger seat, allowing me to lean over and lock the seatbelt ar
ound her. Looking up at me, she smiled.
Knowing what I was going to do to her made me smile in return.
Shed made a mistake running from the grip of an intoxicated man into the arms of
a monster a mistake that would cost her the rest of her life.
Grabbing her neck suddenly, I squeezed. Her hands reached for mine, her fingerna
ils digging into my skin. Eventually her eyes hazed over and her mouth opened be
cause her lungs had become desperate for air. Within a few minutes, her eyes fin
ally closed and I released her.
She was passed out, she was in my car, and she would never be heard from again.

Chapter Five
~ Eleni ~
Blinking my eyes open, I instantly realized I wasnt home. Morning light poured in
through a window to the right of the large bed and I noticed the bars that ador
ned the outside. Where the fuck was I? What was the last thing I could remember
from the night before? Shit, it was the drunken asshole trying to shove his tong
ue down my throat. Looking around the lavish room in which I woke, I realized th
at I really needed to stop drinking so much. I couldnt remember where I was or ho
w I got there. However, waking up to a strange room wasnt abnormal for me and I h
ated the fact that it was becoming a fucking bad habit.

I closed my eyes against the offensive light of day and suddenly I remembered th
e green-eyed stranger. Even though my body lay atop soft sheets and a comfortabl
e mattress, it was only his rough hands against my heated skin that I could feel
on my body. I vaguely remembered a car, but I wasnt sure.
Whatever. I must have given the guy a good night and I wanted nothing more than
to wash the lack of memory from my skin. It was just another good night for some r
andom man that I couldnt even regret because I couldnt remember a thing about it.
Stretching my arms out, I rolled onto my stomach. God the bed was comfortable. T
he sheets were lush silk, I think but I was unsure because I have never had the
luxury of something besides the Wal-Mart negative four hundred thread count vari
ety and a hand me down mattress from The Goodwill.
The room was bright, a mixture of white and black with modern furniture placed a
rtfully throughout. Lights were mounted on the wall in each of the four corners
and two black doors sat adjacent to each other in the center of the large wall.
Sitting up, I noticed that my body was off balance. I immediately wanted a drink
just one shot to take the edge off.
I looked for my pants, but they were missing. My purse was gone, inside it my mo
ney, my phone and most importantly, my flask. I never left home without it and m
y headache pounded harder from the frustration of it not being within my reach.
Shit. Where did I put all of my stuff?
Finally forcing myself up from the mattress, I kicked my legs off the side of th
e bed and walked around. It is warm in the house and I wondered if the guy actua
lly had the heat on? It was a luxury I skimped on most days and it felt refreshi
ng to walk around in my panties and t-shirt without the headlights beaming and m
y skin prickling from the cold.
Regardless of my delight in the comfort of the bedroom, I decided to seek out th
e guy I was pretty sure owned this place to find my flask and get a ride home. I
didnt know exactly where this place was, but it had to be far from the slums whe
re my apartment was located. Judging by the obvious wealth of the person who own
ed this place, I realized that I had to be at least 10 miles from my place and t
hat was too long a distance for my typical walk of shame.
In an attempt to escape the walls of this fabulous room, I padded barefoot over
and tried the first door. It was locked. My mind wasnt as awake as my body, so the
fact that I was stuck in a locked room hadnt yet breached my comprehension.
I banged on the wood and listened but nobody answered me. Whatever. I shrugged i
t off and checked the other door. It pushed right open. But, instead of an exit,
I found a bathroom. I have to admit, it was absolutely, fucking beautiful - lik
e something out of one of those magazines with extravagant country homes on the
front. A large garden bathtub sat in the corner surrounded by candles and fancy
bath soaps and bubble baths. On the other side of the room was a double stand up
shower, complete with multiple showerheads and the toilet.
Straight ahead of where I stood was a wall of mirrors. Floor to ceiling, I could
see my reflection. I scowled as soon as I witnessed the ragged shape I was in.
My hair stuck up in all directions, I had makeup smeared down my face and ink ha
d seeped through the bandage covering the new artwork on my leg. I quickly grew
concerned that the alcohol had thinned my blood a bit too much the night before
and I removed the bandage to inspect. Luckily, I found the image to be perfect,
but in need of a good cleaning. Looking around, I noticed a tube of A&D ointment
sitting on the counter.

I could have passed it off as coincidence, but if there was one thing Id learned
in my life, it was that there are no such things as coincidences. Ever. Everythi
ng that happens is meant to happen for some kind of reason. Do I believe in God?
That I am not sure of, but I do know there is some kind of higher power with a
plan. I realized that after I tried to hang myself. I remember everything going
black as I hung from a small rafter beam in my Grandmothers house. I thought it w
ould be my end. Hell, I prayed it would be. But eventually I woke up in a hospit
al bed. On suicide watch. Isnt that a funny term for someone who was so close to
actually taking their own life? Suicide watch? More like suicide failure. But th
at was a tangent I didnt need to travel. Being stuck in a strange place is bad en
ough, being stuck in a strange place while thinking about the worst things youd d
one in your life was a whole different story and I didnt want to be that story.
Shaking my head in an effort to refocus, my stomach heaved. The lack of alcohol
in my system was eating away at my body. I knew that the shakes would start next
, and unless someone left me a magical bottle of Jameson somewhere, I could only
foresee my situation getting much worse.
I always refused to believe I was an alcoholic however the detox I suffered when
I didnt have a drink disagreed with my refusal. It was a lose-lose situation. Ei
ther I accepted the fact that I couldnt live without liquor and suffer the bitter
understanding that I was nothing more than a drunk or I fought it and ended up
on the floor praying that the detox would just end me.
I had to fight the oncoming shit-storm that the lack of alcohol was causing so I
turned the shower on for a quick soak, although the bathtub looked fucking temp
ting as well. I could spend all day in there.
While washing away my body, my mind wandered to more important matters. I wanted
to know what time it was. I knew I needed to get home and study for my finals s
o I could complete at least one accomplishment in my life. The past semester had
been a son of a cunt, but I was hopeful I would ace the shit and finally be abl
e to go forward in my last year of college.
After bathing my body and shampooing the stink of barhopping from my hair, I was
thankful that whoever lived in the house had kept the girly shit stocked. I lau
ghed thinking this could be the guys wife or girlfriends stuff. It was always so f
ucking awkward to have to thank the bitch that was screaming at you the next mor
ning for the use of her toiletries.
I grab the fluffy black towel hanging outside of the spacious shower and toweled
off. The soft material on my skin flashed me back to my childhood and one of th
e few times my mother actually bathed me. I shook my head trying to rid my mind
of the thoughts of her. Nothing good ever came from thinking about that bitch.
When my body was dry, I wrapped the towel around my head and took in my view onc
e more in the mirror. I rubbed some A&D on my new piece of artwork and looked fo
r my clothes once again. I located my bra, panties, and t-shirt from the night b
efore, but still wonder where the fuck my pants went.
Walking into the bedroom once again, I tried the other door. Clearly, that was t
he exit to the rest of the house. I couldnt figure out why would someone would lo
ck it. Shrugging, I decided that the guy really was married or some shit and he
was trying to hide me. It was a fucked up situation, but not one I hadnt encounte
red before. I hated to bust him by banging, but who knew how long the fucker was
planning on keeping me here? I had things to do and didnt have time to play arou
nd while he attempted to save his fucked up marriage. Men were scum especially m
arried ones who cheated so I figured I was doing his wife a favor by outing him.
With that thought in mind, I banged louder and put my ear up to the door to lis
ten to what was happening on the other side. There was nothing. No sounds, no vo

ices, no dishes being broken or women screaming or crying.

My anxiety kicked up a notch when the realization suns in. I was stuck in the ro
om. I couldnt get out. And I had no fucking idea where I was.
Desperately, I banged on the door even louder, not caring that the wood splinter
ed beneath my fist.
HELLLLO??? IS THERE ANYONE THERE? My ragged voice shrieked through the vanilla sce
nted air. No answer. My stomach rolled suddenly and I ran for the bathroom, pray
ing I could make it to the toilet before I dry heaved whatever bile my poor stom
ach was housing. I must have dry heaved a half dozen times until I finally felt
like I had my body under control.
Ha, control? Id never had any control over my body. Or my mind for that matter an
d it was screaming at me. I realized I was in a really fucked situation and I wa
s pretty sure it has something to do with the green-eyed man who saved me last nig
ht. Judging by my current situation, I wasnt as saved as I originally thought.
In truth, I probably would have been better off with the drunk, date-raping assh
ole. At least he would have released me when he was done.
Once the realization sunk in that I was technically a prisoner wherever the hell
I was, my stubborn will came to life and refused to fucking accept it. Running
across the room back to the black door, I pounded harder, not caring that my han
d would be bruised from the force of the strikes against the wood. The bangs ech
oed through the room, but no one came.
Completely freaked out and frustrated, I started to cry for the first time in fu
cking years. Real tears streamed down my face and I was at a complete loss.
I was so fucked.

Chapter Six
~ Gabriel ~
I didnt intend for this to happen this way. I never wanted to take her away from
her life but I cant say I hadnt prepared for it. However, sometimes in the heat of
emotion or at times when a person has no time to consider their options, they m
ake decisions. Theyre not always right, or good, or intelligent, but they make th
em anyway.
And while holding her in my arms the night before, Id made mine.
Sitting in the living room, I could hear her banging on the door as I lounged in
an overstuffed chair. Debussys Clair De Lune played in the background and I brea
thed in deeply while thinking about what I would do next. I tried to focus on th
e music, but her banging and screaming was interrupting my thoughts. My fists gr
ipped in aggravation and I continued trying to focus on the melody, the harmony
and cadence in the music.
Let me out of this fucking room!

Closing my eyes against the terror in her voice, I grabbed the remote from the t
able beside me and turned the music up louder. After a few minutes, the banging
finally stopped.
She could hear it and I knew she was listening intently for any sign of another
person in the house. After a few more seconds, I accepted that Id need to finally
introduce myself. There was no point in drawing out the inevitable. Eventually,
shed know that she was being held and she would know the identity of the person
holding her.
She just wouldnt know why.
Standing up from the comfort of my chair, I took slow, long strides towards her
door and I placed my ear up against the wood. I could hear her on the other side
breathing loudly, probably within inches of me without even knowing it. Pulling
a skeleton key from my pocket, I allowed the ring to jingle in my hand.
Hello? Is somebody there? Let me out please.
She was scared. I chuckled thinking that, in life, shed always handled problems b
y yelling or fighting her way out; but now she was trapped and yelling got her n
owhere except for being tuned out by the classical music in the living room. I w
ished I could see her face wished I could shed my physical body and watch her wi
thout her knowing. It was what I did online essentially, but I needed more. I wa
nted to touch her, to study her to pick apart her mind to determine how it worke
d and to find out once and for all how a bright soul could choose the blanket of
alcohol instead of reaching for the stars.
Inserting the key
d the key slowly,
that I was coming
the door, pulling

in the lock, I could hear her step away from the door. I turne
allowing the sound of metal sliding against metal to announce
into the room. Almost as soon as the lock clicked, she was at
at the handle and opening it to find me standing in the doorwa

Who the fuck are you and why do you have me locked in this fucking room?!
She didnt intimidate me and I looked at her with an impassive expression. I belie
ved my lack of reaction may have startled her because she stepped back to place
distance between us.
I pushed the door open farther as I entered, but then shut it behind me, locking
it to prevent her escape. Her eyes widened and she stared at me silently. Her f
ace was ashen and she appeared sick. When she hugged her arms around her abdomen
, I wondered if it was fear that hurt her or the effects of the alcohol from the
night before. I could see that her body was shaking and I wasnt positive that I
was the cause.
Good Morning.
She opened her mouth to talk reconsidered for a split second and then the word v
omit began.
Listen. I have no idea who the fuck you are, or why Im here or what we did, but I
want to go home now. If you locked the door on accident then, fine. Were cool. Bu
t I really just need you to give me my stuff so I can go.
I breathed in slowly and back out again. My arms were crossed over my chest whil
e I attempted to speak calmly to a little girl who thought she held the control.
Youre not going home, Eleni. Youre staying here for a while.

She stilled and I watched anger, frustration and fear flit across her expression
. When she didnt answer immediately, a grin pulled at my lips. What was once anxi
ety for having to confront her suddenly became excitement for finally getting th
e chance to talk to her. Sure I could have approached her in public, I could hav
e talked her into giving me her number but it wasnt easy with a girl like her. Id
watched her take men in the bathroom or alleyway behind her bar on many nights.
Ill admit I followed that I would watch in the shadow of the alley while she had
her brains fucked out by some muscle-bound, tattooed asshole. Those men were oka
y with saying goodbye once the deed was done; but I wasnt. I wanted to experience
everything about her. Her screams while she fucked, the feel of her body wrappe
d around meI wanted to know her happiness just so I could know what it felt like
to strip it entirely away.
I smiled thinking that it was just the beginning between us. I had no job, no fa
mily and I had very few, if any, real friends. My lack of a life gave me all the
time in the world to focus on her my newest project.
Like I said, asshole, give me my shit and let me leave. Ill walk the fuck out of h
ere, I just need my clothes.
Youre not leaving.
I was surprised when she rushed me. Her hands were extended in front of her and
she shoved me against the door. When I felt her fingernails rake down my face, I
growled in anger. My hand was around her throat instantly and my other wrapped
into her thick hair. Picking her up by her head, I carried her the few feet to t
he bed and dropped her down on the mattress.
But I wasnt done. My anger was seething and my desire to hurt was festering at th
e back of my mind. It was at that moment that the fucking voices started. As I l
ooked down at my beautiful helpless girl, I heard the hidden parts of myself whi
sper. Rape, death, pain pleasure - they wanted it all and they wanted it with he
She choked and sputtered, curling herself into a fetal position; desperate to pr
otect herself from whatever physical violence Id think up next.
Her body started to retch in front of me. Before I could react, she pushed up fr
om the bed and ran into the bathroom. I heard her vomit over and over until the
sound was nothing more than her body convulsing in attempt to force up more.
Pacing the bedroom, I fought in my head with demons that wanted to take control.
They had their victim their target. I breathed deeply again, trying to clear my
thoughts of the chaos. When I could no longer hear her getting sick, I step int
o the bathroom. I found her hunched over the toilet her hands gripping desperate
ly to the sides of the porcelain. When she could move again, she lifted her shir
t to wipe her mouth. Her eyes were trained on me and I locked my stare to hers a
s I walked across the room to get a toothbrush from under the sink.
Holding it out to her, I said, You might want this.
Fuck you, dick!
I found her response to be unfortunate.
Dropping the toothbrush in the sink, I stormed towards her and grabbed her thick
hair once again. The chaos in my head was too loud, too sudden my anger bloomed
inside me and took over. I pinned her to the wall, my hand running up her kicki
ng leg. She stilled when I reach her hip, my thumb running across her panties.

Id take you up on that offer if you didnt smell like alcohol and vomit.
When she started to fight again, I tossed her in the shower. Her head cracked ag
ainst the glass enclosure and I grimaced to think how it must have felt but she
asked for it so I didnt feel bad about having done it. If she was going to act li
ke a little bitch I would treat her like one, it was that simple.
Stepping forward, I turned on the water. It was cold and she screamed.
I laughed at the sound.
It would have been warmer if youd given me a second. But you fought against me, so
youll have to feel the initial cold. My words were broken apart by my amusement.
She glared up at me and I glared back down at her. This relationship was turning
out to be fun.
When she realized she wouldnt win in the brute strength and intimidation categori
es, she opted for begging next.
Please. I have no idea who the fuck you are or why you think Im staying here, but
Im not. I have friends and family who will be looking for me if I dont show up in
a few hours. I have places to be!
The water was finally warm and I aimed the showerhead in her direction. Keeping
my voice calm, I reminded her, You have no family, Eleni. Stop lying. You have on
e friend whos probably passed out drunk, naked and newly fucked in some guys bed.
She wont miss you. She probably assumes that youre tucked away in your apartment a
fter ditching her last night. Ive seen you two fight before I know that it will b
e days before she contacts you. You have a bad habit of ditching people when the
mood strikes or when theres a new cock for you to bounce on. I paused, allowing t
he truth of my words to sink in before adding the insult to the injury. Really, y
our irrational and unpredictable behavior in life has set it up perfectly for yo
u to go missing without anybody caring or realizing that something had happened
to you.
Her expression was priceless and I watched her huddle pathetically beneath the s
pray of the shower.
How the fuck do you know so much about me?
I smiled. Because you told me.
She shook her head, desperate to deny to herself the facts about her situation.
She was in a strange place with a strange man who knew all there was to know abo
ut her when she knew nothing about him. There were no lies she could tell to cha
nge her situation and I was too large for her to force my hand.
Please just, please let me go.
My smile faded.
No, sweetheart. First, youre going to take a bath.
Her eyes widened.
Now, strip.

Chapter Seven
~ Eleni ~
Maybe if I play it nice, hell let me go. It was the first thing that came to mind
when the green-eyed man from last night told me to strip. Obviously being mysel
f wasnt working so I needed to attempt a different tactic. I was smart enough to
realize that, at least.
I hated to admit to myself that I was scared shitless for the first time in my l
ife; but not because he was holding me against my will or that he would probably
rape me. I was scared because he knew everything there was to know about me, ma
inly the fact that no one was going to come looking for me. The thought was terr
ifying and painful at the same time. How fucking pathetic was I? I knew plenty o
f people people I saw and talked to on a regular basis; but he was right. I neve
r let them in enough for them to find my absence to be a concern. I disappeared
often not returning for several days while I wasted away on a bender just to esc
ape from reality.
Looking up at him, I wondered how he knew I had no family; how he knew I lived a
lone, and how he knew that all my friends were casual acquaintances at best. He
knew more than most people know about me which was creepy as shit. The thought b
riefly touched on my thoughts that this fucker might know more about me than I k
new about myself.
I stood there in front of him, cowering under his sheer size. He was much bigger
than me, towering well over six feet tall. I was willing to bet that under the
layer of dark clothing, he had well defined muscles. He was probably one of thos
e nasty gym dwellers that used his strength to overpower poor women like me wome
n who were broken and alone in the world.
But why on earth did he save me last night? Why would he save me from one wouldbe rapist just to pull the same bullshit?
My fucking head was pounding, and the nagging voices were coming to life. The la
ck of alcohol had them shouting. I wanted to scream for them all to just shut th
e fuck up. They taunted me about my predicament, laughed at my pain and misery a
nd reveled in my misfortune. Fuckers. Some day, I swore, some fucking day I woul
d kill them all. The memories, the nightmares the weight I carried day in and da
y of the shit hand that life had dealt me. Rage brewed within my body as I tried
and talk myself down. I needed to be smart about how I handled this and I wasnt
about to let my emotions take over just to get me killed.
As I stripped my clothing off per his request, my anger was fueling my desire to
survive. The last thing I wanted was to push his buttons and piss him after hed
shown a small sliver of what I thought could actually be compassion.
Can I ask you something? my tone was brave. I was unsure of where my sudden bravad
o came from, but I was sure it was one of the voices cheering me on. They fucked
me over all the damn time.
No, his tone was clipped and harsh. He was back to being a giant fucking asshole a
nd I didnt care because I was going to ask anyways.
Why save me, just to do this? You could have any other fucking woman in the world
, but you pick the chubby tattooed girl with the drinking problem? Im sure you co

uld do far better, why not just let me go? I spoke freely because that was how I
honestly felt about myself. I wasnt a stick figure model that made men salivate t
o watch her walk by. I was curvy and tattooed my lack of an amazing body matchin
g my lack of an amazing personality. Almost every square inch of my body was cov
ered by some kind of artwork, while almost every aspect of my thoughts was cover
ed by some fucked up emotional scar.
He was quiet at first studying me with piercing eyes that held darkness behind t
hem. A smirk appeared on his perfect lips when he finally responded, "You have s
omething I want - something that no other person can show me or teach me. Its s
omething I dont understand. You have life, Eleni, and I want it.
I tried not to make eye contact, but his eyes pulled me in. Something about him
brought a piece of my dead soul back to life. Maybe that was the life he was tal
king about, but I wasnt sure. I was confused, I was in pain and all I wanted was
a fucking drink so I could escape this situation. Whatever cryptic message he wa
s giving me, I couldnt deal with the thoughts it aroused in my mind. I needed to
fucking escape.
Still wearing my bra and panties, I pushed myself up and stepped out from under
the spray of the shower. Reaching towards me suddenly, his fingers tightly gripp
ed my upper arm so that he could spin my body to face him fully. Before he could
make another move, my eyes were closed and I cowered under his touch. I didnt wa
nt to be scared of him; but I was. I was scared shitless of him. He was the firs
t person or thing Id been scared of for as long as I could remember.
I couldnt understand why he thought I was living? In reality, I wasnt living at al
l. I was a fucking prisoner to my insane thoughts, my addiction, and my shitty l
ife. And now, I was prisoner to him.
I said strip, Eleni, Ive allowed you a moment to accept my demand but Im not sure h
ow much longer my patience will continue. The warning in his words struck me as h
is finger softly caressed the side of my face. I opened my eyes and shivered ben
eath the weight of his stare. His expression wasnt as harsh as it had been moment
s before. It gave me a false sense of comfort, even if it was only for a split s
econd. After unclasping my bra, I allowed it to fall to the marble floor of the
shower. He didnt break his stare - his eyes continuing to hold mine while I strip
ped off the last piece of clothing.
My thumbs slipped beneath the waistband of my panties and I closed my eyes again
as pushed them down my legs onto the floor. I tried to turn away, suddenly feel
ing exposed to his heated eyes, but his fingers tightened over the skin of my ar
m and he held me so that he could look over my body.
I didnt dare look at him again, but I could feel his eyes watching me. The
ing in my head grew louder and I desperately tried to focus on shutting all
voices up. One-by-one I silently yelled at them. When they finally begin to
t, I was able to enjoy a few moments of peace before remembering the fucked
ituation I was in.

up s

You shouldnt stay in long. Its bad for your new tattoo. Just long enough to clean o
ff your filth.
The cruel tone to his words caused my eyes to fly open with shock. One minute he
seemed to care, and in the next, he sounded like I was nothing more than a woma
n who deserved his abuse.
He smiled, wicked and cruel, and when his voice echoed through the nearly empty
bathroom, my peace was stripped from me.

After pushing me back under the spray of the shower, he bathed my body and washe
d my hair. Memories appeared in my thoughts like a flickering film reel, I saw m
yself as a child being bathes by my mother one of the few memories I had of a ti
me when she wasnt negligent or unkind. When he was done running his hands along m
y skin, over my breasts between my legs - I slowly emerged from beneath the spra
y of the water, pushing away the thoughts of my mother for the second time today
. His large arms wrapped me in a towel like a child, and without thought as to w
hat I was doing, I let out a painful scream.
The thoughts coming back were like knives to my chest.
Eleni, you are such a sweet girl for Mommy. She wasnt high today. It was a miracle.
You know Mommy loves when you are such a good girl. I nod in reply to my mothers
praise. I was desperate for her love, and attention.
Grandma is going to come get you, we have to make sure you are all clean for her.
Grandma? Why was grandma coming? Didnt Mommy wanna spend any time with me? I am h
er good girl.
When I came to, I was wrapped in a towel crying on the bathroom floor and the gr
een eyed man was just looking at me. His stare was pure pity, before he turned a
nd walked out of the bathroom without another fucking word.
I shuddered despite the warmth of the terry cloth towel because, once again, I w
as left alone with my demons.

Chapter Eight
~ Gabriel ~
I locked her in the room after she blacked out. Unable to deal with whatever nig
htmares she was reliving, I sought out the vacancy of the living room, the lonel
iness of a house too large for one family - much less one man. I couldnt help sta
ring at her in the bathroom the flesh of her hips and breasts the ink that made
her like a living piece of art. I focused on the angel on her leg. It bothered m
e. I wanted to know why she wanted that particular image permanently marked on h
er body.
When I pulled her out, she panicked almost immediately. Her reaction was a surpr
ise because I hadnt done anything but touch a towel to her skin. Her eyes were em
pty, her body trembled and then she cried for a woman I knew was no longer alive
to answer her calls. Why did she hold onto two people who chose drugs over her?
Why did she cry for someone that did nothing but hurt and disappoint her?
And how could she live so fully when the only family shed known had deserted her?
It was a mask I knew that. But it was still something. I had nothing no drive, n
o happiness, no hope no soul. If it wasnt for the money my parents left behind, Id
probably be homeless or dead. Life was monotonous and routine. My inability to
live was one of the reasons I admired infamous men. Not for their rage, but for
their capacity to break the pattern, to do something natural to them instead of
acting like a pet monkey to society.
I didnt admire their violence, but I did admire thinking outside of the box. A gi

rl like Eleni she was almost always stepping outside of those four socially acce
ptable walls. In fact, it was better to say she barely stepped inside them. She
wasnt like me. I was the type that avoided the box altogether.
Laughing to myself about some of the posts and photos I remembered of her, I wal
ked into the kitchen to fix toast while mentally categorizing the images and inf
ormation Id seen of her online the wall of shame, as I liked to think of it.
Very soon, I was lost in thought, but dragged from them again by the sound of th
e toast popping up. I tossed both pieces on a plate, leaving it plain so they wo
uld absorb the acid in her sick stomach. Her shaking body was obvious when Id fou
nd her, the first effects of detox from the lack of alcohol in her system. It wa
s disgusting that at such a young age, shed already become so dependent on the su
After pouring a glass of ginger ale, I returned to her room and opened the door
to find her lying on the bed. She was holding her stomach and I watched her when
I shut the door behind me. Placing the tray on the bedside table, I sat on the
side of the mattress.
You need to eat.
No thanks.
Her voice was weak when she answered and it annoyed the crap out of
making herself sick between the lack of alcohol flooding her system
ions running through her from being held against her will. The last
eded was to dehydrate. It wasnt exactly like I could take her to a

me. She was

and the emot
thing she ne

I said you need to eat, Eleni. Your stomach wont improve unless you get it to calm
She was lying on her back with her eyes closed, but as soon as I told her to cal
m down, they opened. Her body shook with humorless laughter.
Youre fucking kidding me, right? Youve kidnapped me, youre keeping me trapped in you
r house and youve probably already raped me and now youre telling me to calm down?
Wow. Okay. Youre a fucking freak.
The tension in my body jacked up in response to her words and I stretched my nec
k to ease the pain. I kept my tone calm and level too afraid that Id lose control
with her and hurt her more than I already had. If you dont eat on your own Ill for
ce feed you. Do you understand? Im not playing with you.
She pushed up on her elbows, her eyes staring out at the fireplace on the other
side of the room. Did you fuck me last night? She paused and turned to look at me.
Whats your name, anyway? If Im going to be raped and killed by a psychopath, I mig
ht as well know what his name is. Her eyes drifted back to the fireplace and I st
ared at her for a few seconds before responding.
Fine. Dont say I didnt warn you.
Standing up from the bed, I left the room again. After retrieving some thin rope
and zip ties I kept in the garage, I returned to her room and walked calmly aro
und the bed. She didnt look at me and I knew it was her little act of rebellion.
I wasnt concerned because I knew shed be paying attention soon enough.
When I grabbed her wrist, she weakly swung at me. Her effort only served to make
it easier for me to grab both arms. My large hand had no problem wrapping aroun
d both of her wrists and within a second I had her bound with a plastic zip tie.

She continued to struggle against me, but her illness had made her weak and eas
ily handled. I pulled her arms above her head and used the rope to secure them t
o the headboard. Once that was accomplished, I moved for her legs. She was kicki
ng like a trapped animal by that point so I slapped her, open-handed in the abdo
men. She went into a partial fetal position almost immediately and I took the op
portunity to grab her ankles before she could recover. After zip tying her legs,
I secured them to the footboard.
I stood silently above her for several seconds to catch my breath. I couldnt help
but smile at how pathetic and helpless she looked. When she finally stopped str
uggling against the bindings she had no hope of breaking, I spoke again.
Now, as I was saying - Youre going to eat food and youre going to like it. If you d
ont, I leave you strapped down and Ill do unspeakable and gross things to your bod
y. Do you get what Im telling you, beautiful? Im sick of you toying around with me
. I dont play games not with little girls anyway.
What the fuck? You piece of fucking shit!
In retrospect, I realized I should have used a gag as well, but that would have
prevented me from force-feeding her.
Shaking my head at her continued bullshit, I stepped around the bed to grab the
toast. When I was standing over her again, I reached down, slipping my thumb int
o her mouth and pulling her jaw down. My fingers shoved the toast inside and she
tried to push it out with her tongue. It reminded me of force-feeding medicatio
n to a dog.
I reached my thumb in her mouth again and pushed her tongue down over her bottom
teeth hard enough to draw blood. She screamed and I smiled.
We can do this the easy way or the hard way. I have no preference to either; howe
ver, you might. So, Ill give you one more chance to respond correctly. You. Need.
To. Eat. My voice was flat and emotionless when I made my demand. I still had he
r jaw and tongue held in place and, after a few seconds, her body relaxed and sh
e nodded her head yes. A single tear rolled slowly down her cheek and I reached up
to wipe it away.
The tension in my body relaxed in response to her compliance. I released her jaw
and placed a piece of toast in her mouth. She bit and chewed, her throat workin
g hard to swallow down the dry substance.
I got up again to grab the glass of ginger ale. Holding it to her lips, I tilted
the glass to allow the clear, bubbly liquid to flows over her lips. She swallow
ed easier this time, but the liquid still escaped her mouth due to the fact that
she was lying down.
It took a few minutes, but she ate one piece and drank half the glass. I looked
down at her and smiled.
Ill untie you if you think you can behave from now on. Can you do that?
She nodded.
I smiled again. Good girl.

Chapter Nine
~ Eleni ~
After unbinding my wrists, and legs he left. I couldnt believe he tied me up to f
orce feed me toast. What kind of fucked up kidnapper was he? He wouldnt talk to m
e or let me go, but he made sure I was fed and my body was taken care of? I coul
dnt wrap my mind around it. Why not just kill me get it over with?
I would be more comfortable with it all if he started cutting off my limbs. At l
east I would know exactly what he wanted from me. Instead he was hot and cold caring and callous - and I couldnt really get a read on him or a grip on the fuck
ing situation. I was scared of him one minute and certain I could overpower him
in the next; maybe not physically, but mentally. It was clear his demons were mu
ch bigger than mine, if that was at all possible.
Rubbing my wrists, I padded barefoot into the bathroom and ran some cool water o
ver them. I rinsed my mouth with some mouthwash I found and it fucking stung whe
re my teeth had cut my tongue. The taste of blood was making my stomach turn aga
in. Fucking asshole.
Finally returning to the bedroom, I paced back and forth in front of the door. W
hat should I do? Should I tempt him? Should I unleash all the shit I was feeling
? Should I curl back up in the bed, and go to sleep only praying he left me be f
or the night? I fought internally for a while, only coming up with one conclusio
n: I was going to call him out on being the asshole he was. It was who I was. I
didnt hold back for anyone normally, and I wasnt about to start holding back becau
se of him. I didnt give a rats ass who he was and where I was.
Fuck him. Fuck this room, and fuck the world.
HEY ASSHOLE! I screamed
r. I summoned every ounce
much noise as I possibly
house. I wanted my voice
eks to terrify him in his

at the top of my lungs as my fists pounded against the doo

of energy, or lack thereof within my body to create as
could. I wanted to disturb him and his creepy peaceful
to replay in his ears all night long. I wanted my shri
fucking sleep.

I bet you kidnapped me because you have no real friends, right? Why would someone
want to be around you? You are such a fuckin nut case you have to kidnap people
for friends! I was praying I would strike a nerve. Whether I was right or wrong,
it didnt matter. I was pushing him anyway I could.
I bet your dick doesnt even work. Thats why you didnt fuck me. Limp dick! As the word
dick left my mouth, the door flew open, striking me right in the fucking face.
The wood was loud as it cracked against on my nose. Instantly, I could feel bloo
d dripping down my face as his strong hand wrapped around my throat. My breathin
g slowed as his fingers gripped my neck tighter and tighter. The door slammed in
the distance and I found myself thrown against the bed.
Blood was beginning to cloud my vision. I blinked my eyes rapidly but my vision
only got worse. I was left with my sense of hearing and touch. Everything else w
as failing me. The sound of his steps moved around the bed as I lay in the fetal
position waiting for him to strike. Feeling stupid suddenly, I realized I shoul
dnt have pushed him. He was going to make me pay now, and I was pretty sure I des
erved whatever was coming.
Why cant you simply obey and be my good girl, Eleni? It would make things so much
easier for you. His voice was quiet, but lacked remorse. I didnt think he wanted m

e to hear him, as if he is talking to himself, but I couldnt be sure. You never u

nderstand how important your vision is until the one simple sense is taken away.
I was panicking, my face was pounding and I was pretty fucking sure my nose was
broken. I needed a doctor - I needed something - but I realized I was only goin
g to suffer alone in this posh prison.
I asked you a fucking QUESTION! His voice boomed. He was close and screaming.
I felt the bed dip under his weight. He was coming for me and my body was convul
sing with sickness and fear. I couldnt stop shaking as hard as I was trying. The
first thing I felt were his fingers wrapping around my neck again. My body was p
ushed up the bed and I begin to cry. My tears mixed with the drying blood as I f
elt his lips press down against my temple.
You beautiful little bitch. Why do you push me like you do? Do you want me to hur
t you, Eleni? Even though my face was fucking broken, I could smell him. Irish Sp
ring soap and Axe body spray. I could make them both out clear as day, because Id
smelled them on so many men in my life. I tried not to be turned on at the scen
t, but it didnt work. I was scared shitless and horny as fuck, which officially m
ade me the most insane bitch on planet Earth. I am just as fucked up as he was.
Im sorry, I lie - and he knows it.
You arent sorry, Eleni. I know better. His tongue ran along the dried blood startin
g to cover my mouth, and that was when he took me off guard, pulling my hands ab
ove my head forcefully. I tried to thrash, but I was no match for his size or st
rength. Whatever he was going to do to me, I had no option but to take it. No on
e could hear my screams for help and I was helpless against him.
His knees pinned my legs to the bed. I attempted to pull from his grasp again, b
ut the harder I fought to free myself, the harder he held me down. I finally sto
pped fighting. It is all fucking pointless. He was going to rape me.
Please, dont. I cried, tears slipping from my eyes once again.
I can feel his free hand run over my body, and I whimpered. I was sure that only
served to turn him on more. Willing my mind to disappear somewhere far off, I a
ttempted to think of happier times, but who the fuck was I fooling? Id never had
any happy times in my crapshoot life.
The visions returned and I started to think about my mother. She was the one tri
gger in the world that could send me into a complete blackout; the bath, the tow
el - the thoughts of her handing me over without a second thought to a virtual s
tranger so she could enjoy her life without any complications.
Mommy Mommy Not Grandma Mommy, Ill be your good girl.
And like that, I am gone again.

Chapter Ten
~ Gabriel ~
It was her eyes that gave it away at first. Shed drifted back to some place apart

from the room where we were and away from me. Wherever she went, it wasnt in the
present. Although her eyes were open, her focus was not on me. Shed blacked out
still awake, but caught in some nightmare or memory set apart from the here and
It wasnt until I noticed that she had sunk deep within an attack of some sort, th
at I stopped myself. Id gone too far, had allowed the anger and rage that she sti
rred within me to take control. I released her and pushed up from the bed, watch
ing as she balled into a fetal position
When I stood by the bed looking down at her, I realized the weight of my actions
. Id almost raped her abused her. Turning immediately, I left the room on rushed
steps, closing and locking the door behind me. I almost put my fist through the
wall in the living room, my anger building to a point where it was painful not t
o let it out. Sitting down, I held my head in my hands, the voices screaming at
me to go back. They were laughing taunting me. Theyd almost won and if it hadnt be
en for her disconnecting, I would have continued.
What the fuck was wrong with me? Id allowed hatred to become curiosity; and allow
ed curiosity to become an obsession. Id not only stalked Eleni; but kidnapped her
. My head hurt and I stood up from the couch, pacing over the cream carpet, my f
eet falling so hard with my steps that it sounded as if there was no cushion ben
eath my feet at all. Images of her filled my head: when I first saw her at the c
onvention, when those men wouldnt leave her alone at the club. Id gone in like I w
ould rescue her and I ended up being the biggest monster of all. I had to let he
r go. I couldnt keep her here.
I spun in the direction of her room and marched to the door. My hand was barely
resting against the handle when I screamed.
Pushing away from the door, I leaned up against the wall behind me. What the fuc
k was I going to do? I knew if I walked in there, Id want her again Id want to hur
t her and at the same time, Id want to show her every pleasure a man could give a
woman. The conflicted feelings in my head and body were crushing me from the in
side out. I had to make a decision, and I had no choice but to continue forward
with what Id done. Letting her go wouldnt solve this it would only bring more trou
ble to my door.
I pushed off the wall, taking two intent steps toward the door; unlocking it and
slamming my hand down on the handle in one swift move. When I opened the door a
nd looked in, she was still on the bed, balled over herself. Her body shook with
silent crying and I felt nothing but amusement.
Take heruse herteach her
They wouldnt stop the voices, their ideas, they were relentless when it came to h
er. Closing the door behind me, I noticed she didnt move even when the latch clic
ked shut behind me. Her body was beautiful, the artwork, the image on her leg it
was the angel Gabriel it was my namesake.
How ironic that the one thing she used to adorn her body was also the thing that
would break her apart in the end.
When I approached her, I noticed the sweat beading on her forehead. Her body sho
ok but what I thought was movement from crying was something else entirely. She
wasnt crying she wasnt even aware of my presence in the room.
I crossed the space quickly and immediately stuck my hand to her head. She was b

urning up, but her teeth were chattering like she was cold. I immediately knew w
hat was wrong and I was angry with myself for not recognizing how bad it was ear
lier. She was going through withdrawal. Every picture she posted online flashed
through my mind. In each one, there was always one common element: alcohol. How
long had it been since she dranknot even 24 hours and she was already suffering f
rom not diluting her body with the sickening substance.
Picking her up from the bed, her naked body was damn near limp in my arms. I rus
hed her to the bathroom, setting her down on the floor while I drew a cold bath.
Her skin felt like it was on fire and I was concerned that the withdrawal would
only become worse. Id read about these effects, but Id never seen it in real life
. It was scary almost like a flu brought about by the bodys desperation for poiso
n. I was angry with her and I handled her roughly when I dropped her in the wate
r. She groaned and I didnt care. I should have been taking care of her, tending t
o her level of illness with concern and a delicate handbut my anger wouldnt allow
She didnt recognize that she was in water and she didnt move to hold her head abov
e the suffocating liquid. She slipped below and Ill admit it took me a few second
s to decide whether I should pull her up or not. If she wasnt such an addict, the
re would be no question. She was too beautiful and alive to lose her life.
But was she throwing it away?
Why save her if she was going to do nothing but get fucked up, to get others fuc
ked up. Maybe by letting her drown, I was saving the life of several people. Wha
t if she got behind the wheel completely wasted and killed a family children jus
t like the bastard who killed my aunt like the demons who took my parents.
I gripped my hand in the hair that floated away from her head beneath the water.
It moved as if there were a slow current, dancing beneath a clear pool. It was
hauntingly beautiful. Gripping my hand tighter, I pulled her up and, finally, sh
e gasped and choked as she struggled to force the water from her lungs. Her body
flailed and I let go of her hair to place my hand beneath her arm to keep her a
bove water. When she finally calmed, I thought she would have woken up from the
trauma but her eyes told me she was still someplace else.
She mumbled and I watched her face silently, completely captivated by her pain h
er torment. My thumb brushed against her breast and she shuddered as goose bumps
raced along her skin. She was still shivering from the cold, but her body was n
o longer burning hot. My eyes traveled over her inked flesh and I took in every
line, every color, every beautiful detail of the artwork painted across her skin
Leaning over the tub, I placed my mouth on hers and felt her lips shake from her
chattering teeth. She went rigid at the contact and I pulled away quickly, sear
ching her face for any sign that shed come back to the present. Her eyes were clo
sed, but moved beneath the lids.
When they opened suddenly a moment later she screamed.

Chapter Eleven
~ Eleni ~

I gasped for air and realized I was under water. I was completely unsure of what
the fuck had just happened to me. I remembered his touch, and I remembered him
almost raping me before the memories of my youth clouded my mind. Now, I was awa
ke in a fucking tub full of cold water. I chill surged through my body as I trie
d to protest; but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldnt get the words out.
I was frustrated and mentally spent because I didnt know what the fuck was wrong
with me. I was with him one minute and then I was a million miles away, lost som
ewhere between my childhood memories and the demons that continued to haunt me.
I was momentarily taken away from all the fear and horror of my current situatio
n - prisoner to a strange man.
He confuses me with his actions and I noticed that he was as off balanced as me.
One minute he was heartless, ruthless, violent and in the next, he was tending
to me without a second thought. The hot and cold reminded me of the emotions I a
lways felt on my own the juxtaposition of thought and feeling that always kept m
e at an arms length from any person who could dare to care about me.
He watched me silently, but this time it wasnt in a creepy manner. Our eyes locke
d for the tiniest sliver of time and I wasnt scared. I felt pity for him for us.
His arms dipped into the icy water and pulled me out, quickly wrapping me in ano
ther plush towel. I was prepared for the memories this time though. Before the t
houghts of my mother could poison my mind, I pushed them away, shoving them into
a box where I could keep them from affecting me.
I can do this myself. I pushed away from him and made quick work of drying off. My
hands shook and my stomach rolled again. I tried to concentrate on drying off a
nd not throwing up. I was fuckin sick of being sick. I was sick of feeling pathet
ic. If you wanna help me, get me a fuckin drink. I mouthed off and the tiniest bit
of caring I thought I saw in his eyes clouded over with repulsion.
You fucking disgust me. His rage boiled to the surface and he moved to stalk out o
f the bathroom. But, before he left he turned around once more to pucker his lip
s and spit at me. It was one of the most disgusting things a human being could d
o to another. What a fucking waste.
* * *
Left alone in the bathroom, there was nothing I could do but think. Think about
everything - my life, the bullshit Id dealt with over the years, and most of all,
the demons floating back to the surface since my alcohol-induced medication was
gone. Withdrawal was a bitch. Fuck! If withdrawal had a face, I would punch it.
I know I shouldnt even go there. It was fucking pathetic to think about. What if
I was better off being a prisoner to him than being left alone to live my life o
n my own? Clearly, I havent been doing the best job. The only thing I miss about
my existence before this psycho was school. I miss the books. I miss digging in
to my studies, drunk or not.
I heard the lock on the door rattle and I knew he was coming for me again. I did
nt know how long Id been left alone since being a prisoner had made me lose all pe
rception of time. No clocks, no phones or computers, nothing. I was completely l
He walked in and I had to crane my neck up to look at him. I never realized how
tall he was. Towering over my petite frame as I watched him close the door. He h
eld a small plate of pasta, trying desperately not to smile. He wanted to smile,
but that would break his big fuckin bad kidnapper reputation. He wasnt all bad, a

t least not when this side of his personality reigned. He thought he had power o
ver me because he could read me so well; but that was bullshit because I was sta
rting to see through him just as much.
Its time to eat again, beautiful. Turning to look at me, he waited while I refused
to move. He scowled at my lack of response and his muscles visibly tightened whe
n he said, Please. With a quiet tone, he placed the food down on a small table in
the corner of the room. I let out a chuckle and watched his demeanor carefully.
Something amusing, Elle?
Did you say please? I didnt think you knew what the fuck that word even meant!
Boom. The shades came down and once again, Id pissed him off. He couldnt take me.
He couldnt deal with me. It wouldnt be long until I pushed him over the edge leavi
ng me in one of two places; released or dead. Either one would be the ultimate f
reedom in my eyes.
You are trying to push me, Eleni. Im not stupid. I know your games and theyre not g
oing to work out in your favor. His green eyes flashed full of passion, only a hi
nt of anger brewing under the clouds of his sour mood.
This is me, whatever the fuck your name is. Dont like it? Let me go. In a flash, he
turned and punched the wall directly next to my head.
Never. He growled before walking for the door, quickly retreating from me.
It was in that moment that my stupidity knew no bounds. You are just as fucked up
as me, asshole! Youll never be able to deal with me. Kill me or let me go! I was
screaming, but it didnt matter because he was gone already and the lock clicked b
ack into place.

Chapter Twelve
~ Gabriel ~
She was pushing at me purposely a spoiled bitch wanting nothing more than the li
quid courage and numbing effects of the bottle. Briskly, I walked to my room to
shuffle through her belongings. The cold metal of her flask brushed against my h
and and I picked it up and shook it. Opening the flask, I breathed in the pungen
t smell of whiskey and winced. Even the smell alone was enough to burn the back
of my throat without having to let it slide down my tongue and destroy me from t
he inside out. I shouldnt give this to her, but I wanted her to see what its done
to her for her to experience how it heals her only so that she could know how it
had made her sick. She was a drunk - an alcoholic - and for all intents and pur
poses, a wasted life.
Walking back to her room, I unlocked the door to find her sitting on the bed wit
h the towel wrapped around her. I couldnt tell if the moisture dripping from her
hair was from the bath or if she is sweating again. She looked at me with blue e
yes rimmed in red. Her body shook beneath the terry cloth towel. I tossed the fl
ask on the bed and she winced. When her eyes met the cold metal and she recogniz

ed what Id given her, I could see the desire the want and the need flash over her
expression. She hesitated, looking between me and the steel colored flask. Even
tually she picked it up, holding it in her hand for a few moments before shruggi
ng her shoulders, flicking the top open and sucking it down. It must have been c
lose to empty because only after a few large gulps, she pulled it from her lips,
flicking the lid back closed and tossing it on the bed.
Shame enveloped her suddenly and she refused to look back up at me while I stood
at the door staring at her.
Feel better? The acrid taste of bitterness and hatred flooded my mouth. I knew the
amount of alcohol that was in the flask was nowhere near enough to cure her sym
ptoms, but it was enough to tempt the body to bring the symptoms on more heavily
. Her addiction disgusted me a disease chosen by a person when there were others
who would give anything to be healthy, vibrant and strong.
No. Got anything else?
I smiled. Sorry, Im all out. I dont feel the need to drown myself in poison like yo
u. I hope you realize you brought all of this on yourself.
She looked up at me with defiance alight in her eyes. What kind of man are you?
Her question confused me. I opened my mouth to respond, but she started laughing
a maniacal laugh, the sound reminiscent of a woman who was slowly losing her sa
Well, dipshit, you steal women, Im assuming to rape and kill them, but you dont hav
e a drop of alcohol in your house? How can you be all high and mighty? I drink,
so what? Who doesnt? But the thing I dont do is kidnap people. I think if either o
f us is worse off then the other, its you.
Anger crept along my thoughts, the voices that normally whispered becoming loude
r and more obtuse. Thoughts of violence, of power and control flooded my head di
sturbing images of what I could do to her and the lessons I could teach her with
the strike of a fist or the slap of a leather belt against the colorful skin of
her body. I stepped back in an attempt to place distance between us and she con
tinued staring at me, confusion filtering through the indignation in her eyes.
Do you have an answer or what?
I had to remain calm. I fought with myself to avoid the violence I wanted to com
mit against her. Eleni, I would prefer you keep your thoughts to yourself. Pinchin
g the bridge of my nose between my fingers, I cringed as the insufferable voices
refused to shut up. Unfortunately, the more she spoke, the louder they became.
Keep my thoughts to myself? Ha! Fuck you asshole. It was your decision to steal m
e, now its on you to have to deal with me. I mean, Im going to die anyway right? M
ight as well get this shit over with.
Standing suddenly, she pulled the towel from her body and let it fall to the flo
or, leaving her completely naked before me. My eyes traveled over the tattoos th
at graced her skin the fine lines and beautiful colors that shaded the flowers,
faces, words and designs that adorned her body. My eyes traveled to the angel on
her leg.
What are you doing? My words came out on a low growl the force of my voice rumblin
g through my chest.
Im tempting you. She walked towards me. You want to fuck me, right? That has to be t

he reason why you took me. So lets do this. Pull out your dick, asshole. You want
to ride me, then ride me.
I backed away until I was pressed up against the cool surface of the plaster wal
l. Closing my eyes against her nudity, my thoughts became louder and my mouth wa
tered in anticipation of the attack. Every scene played out in my head; my hands
on her skin, my fingers wrapping around her small, delicate wrists her throat.
I could overpower her with barely any effort but there was this smaller voice, a
faint whisper, that stopped me.
When I opened my eyes again, she was staring at me. Her posture was tired and si
ckly looking, but it was obvious she wouldnt back down.
It was too much to bear.
Stepping forward, I wrapped my hand around her neck. Her eyes widened in surpris
e, her mouth opening in an attempt to pull oxygen into her lungs. If I squeezed
harder, it would hurt her, make her desperate to escape to remain alive. Her han
ds came up and wrapped around mine as she attempted to pull me away. I gripped t
ight enough to frighten her, but not enough to cut off the supply of air complet
Lowering my face to hers, I warned, I told you to keep your thoughts to yourself,
you little fucking slut. I would not continue opening your fucking mouth when Iv
e told you to stop. I dont condone stupidity. Do you fucking understand?
She was light and when I shoved
ended. Her head cracked against
ited all over the sheets before
om. Guilt instantly slid across
hit her head too hard.

her towards the bed, she flew farther than Id int

the headboard and she immediately turned and vom
springing from the bed to run towards the bathro
my spine and I followed her, concerned that shed

When she was done getting sick in the toilet, she fell back onto the ground, hol
ding her head in one hand and her stomach in the other. I knelt down beside her
and the images came back gruesome and cruel. I wanted to hurt her, to drag her b
y her hair and extinguish the life behind her eyes. She didnt deserve that life n
ot after what shed become. She looked at me with disobedience and rebellion flash
ing across her challenging expression.
You son of a bitch! What the fuck do you want now! FUCK YOU!
As she leaned over the toilet again, I realized I finally had enough. If things
continued, they would become worse. I wouldnt be able to control myself. This sit
uation had to die down.
Pushed myself up from the floor, I walked into the bedroom. After grabbing the z
ip ties that were on the bedside table, I turned and marched back into the bathr
oom. While she was dry heaving over the toilet, I grabbed her wrist and fastened
her to the pipe behind the bowl. She struggled against me, but her illness prev
ented any type of real fight. Once Id secured her other wrist, she was trapped in
place over the bowl.
Pleasefucking - please let me go!
I stood over her, looking down on the pathetic excuse of a human being on the fl
oor. After a few minutes and only when shed quieted down - did I respond.
Youve chosen this life, Eleni. Your illness is your own choice and your fault. May
be its time someone makes you live with your decisions. Go ahead and get sick, bu
t understand that youll be forced to stare into the face of what youve become. Enj

oy your beautiful reflection marred by the physical proof of what youve allowed y
ourself to become.
She sobbed as I left the room, walking swiftly across the bedroom floor and exit
ing through the door. When I was once again alone, I let out a hard sigh. I had
no idea what I was doing and where things would go from here, but if I didnt stay
away for nowthings would become more life threatening than theyd been previously.
I had to do something, I just didnt know what.

Chapter Thirteen
~ Eleni ~
I had nothing to do but think, which was the worst possible thing that could hap
pen. The tiniest sip of whiskey on my lips was heaven. But, the thoughts that fo
llowed only cemented my problem. As much as I didnt want to be like my parents, I
was no better than them. My poison of choice was simply legal.
His words echoed through my head, taunting me with every breath I took. I was do
ing this to myself. So fucking what? So what if I just want to be fucking numb a
ll the time? He doesnt know the life I had. He didnt know the shit I went through
as a child, continued to go through on a daily fucking basis when I became an ad
ult. He didnt know my demons or my struggles.
Fuck him and his holier than thou attitude.
That was when I saw it - or I should say her - a stranger staring back at me. The
reflection wasnt me at all. She was sickly. She was ugly. Her fire was gone. Her
body was worn - like she has been rode hard and put up wet.
This reflection wasnt who I want to be. It was everything I fucking hated about m
e, which made me cry even harder than the dry heaving had been able to do. The o
nly thing I had done right at all was my schooling, which was now completely fuc
ked up anyway because of the douche-nugget that kidnapped me.
Hes right Eleni. You are fucked up. You became everything you hate because you ar
e an addict just like they were.
The voice gets louder and louder as I dry heave the last of the whiskey his high
ness graciously allowed me during my fit.
My actions in the last hours were disgusting. I was disgusting. Why would I want
him to fuck me? Am I that desperate to get out of my head for a brief moment? W
as I that desperate for him to let me go? God! My fuckin mind was so clouded and
all over the place that I couldnt think straight for the life of me.
The black spots came back and I willed myself to stay awake. I didnt want to pass
out only to drown in the vomit-laced water. I didnt want to be alone and vulnera
ble to him. I didnt want to be alone at all.
Id never wanted to be alone - not when I was a kid and not as an adult but I neve
r allowed anyone close enough, effectively subjecting myself to the life I was a
lways scared I would have.

The warm bodies I fucked indiscriminately always kept the loneliness at bay. Eve
n if it was just for a night and even without real relationships in my life, I c
ould fight the curse with random strangers.
I hated to admit that
made me realize shit
He was a monster and
ly was. They say like
than the man who was

hed managed to get under my skin like no one had before. He

about my life - shit I never took the time to think about.
yet, he was the only person who could see me for who I tru
recognizes like, and I cried to think that I was no better
holding me captive.

How did I not see something that was so obvious to him?

Maybe it was the fact that I couldnt think clearly in between the voices screamin
g at me and the alcohol that had kept me so clouded that I never realized I was
so fucked up and beyond repair.
Blinking my eyes rapidly, I tried desperately to keep from passing out - but it
simply wasnt working. The darkness was slowly taking over as the demons screamed
at me. I deserved everything I got; and, for once, I couldnt argue with them. I r
ealized as I stared down into the dirty water, as the acrid smell of bile rose u
p to burn at my nose, that I was a pathetic waste of life an abuser nobody bette
r or worse than the man that held me.
I heard a noise and turned my head to lock my gaze with green green eyes just as
the world went dark.

Chapter Fourteen
~ Gabriel ~
The music soothed me when I sat in the living room, comfortably relaxed against
the back of the black leather couch. I listened while Mozarts Requiem in D Minor
drifted softly from the speakers. It drowned out the chaos, the burning need to
commit violence, to dominate and control. It was an urge that never seemed to st
op after I had her.
Before, when she was nothing more than a fascination I watched from behind the s
creen of a computer, they whispered. Small fragments of thought that toyed with
my emotions, my control over myself. But now, with the smell of her on my skin a
nd the knowledge that she was bound and helpless in a room on the other side of
a wall, I imagined her bent over the toilet, staring at the shame of her disease
. Hers was chosen, not mine. I suffered as a result of two bastard people who th
ought drugs were more important than the lives of those around them.
Ever since the accident that took the lives of my parents and burned my body to
a point of having to cover it in inked designs, I hid inside myself trapping mys
elf within the walls of the home left behind by a family now dead and buried. Me
mories attacked me when I turned the corner: The sound of my mothers voice callin
g out to me playfully as I ran away laughing; my father picking me up to throw m
e on his shoulders so that I could pretend I was strong and grown like him. Ever
y so often the phantom image of a young carefree boy would tear past me and the
emptiness inside my chest ached painfully when I realized that the boy never wal
ked away from the car accident that took his parents that day. Sure, his physica

l body survived, but his mind was forever altered and fractured until there was
nothing left but the shell of a broken and obsessed man.
I didnt see it coming. The driving need to dominate another person, the predilect
ion for pain inflicted on another person. I wasnt born like this. I never heard t
he voices that sought to destroy me by making me destroy everything around me. U
p until that crash, I was a mild mannered person who enjoyed the simple things a
child who still believed in the magic of life. But my innocence was stripped wi
th my sanity and now I have constant companions that only reveal themselves to m
e. The doctors I was dragged to daily believed it was trauma to my head that cau
sed the psychosis, but I knew differently. It was the ghosts of those demons. Th
ey took my family and followed me home that day they whispered to me relentlessl
y and now that I had Eleni trapped within my nightmare, they were screaming.
My fists met the wall as I paced along the halls. I tried to focus on the music;
the soothing beats and the soft swish of harmony floating up to awaken the neur
ons inside my mind. But those beautiful notes were drowned by the growl emanatin
g from my chest, resonating through my body and up my throat until it escaped as
an explosive scream tearing from my lips. I dropped to my knees, my hands becom
ing a vice grip around my skull and when I closed my eyes against the violence I
wanted to bestow upon the small girl chained to a toilet in the other room, my
cock hardened and throbbed.
Her eyes mesmerized me, even when they were dulled by the effects of the illness
she inflicted upon herself. For months Id imagined my hands on her skin, her bre
asts her neck. It was a desire for pleasure mixed with the need for pain. I imag
ined the feel of her hands on my body, the sting of her teeth on my skin and I s
huddered under the knowledge that she would reject me once she felt the scars th
at ran beneath the colors and patterns of the art inked over my skin throughout
the years.
Images of naked and soft flesh invaded my mind and the thirst for violence quick
ly turned into a primal drive for a seductive burn. I took deep breaths, my ches
t heaving with the desire to taste the salt I knew would coat her skin. Pushing
myself up, I blocked the voices demanding harm and focused my thoughts on the pl
easure only she could provide.
Walking quickly to the door of her bedroom, I stopped myself when my hand hit th
e knob. I knew I couldnt give in to the desire to destroy her to take the ruined
life left behind by her addiction and disease and plant it in the ground.
Turning the handle, I took a step in, listening carefully for signs that she was
awake. The silence was deafening and when I stepped around the bed and pushed o
pen the bathroom door, I found her with her eyes glassed over, seconds from pass
ing out. Those beautiful blues closed and her cheek fell heavily against the sea
t, her hands hanging limp from the binds Id used to secure her to the evidence of
her condition.
Walking up slowly behind her, the rubber soles of my shoes squeaked against the
black tile floor. I looked down to see the reflection of a man I didnt recognize
hadnt recognized in many years.
Kicking out, I caught her hip with the tip of my boot. She groaned in her poison
ed stupor, her hands pulling at the bindings, drool dripping from the side of he
r mouth down the porcelain of the bowl.
Wake up, Eleni.
Kicking at her again, I laughed when she attempted to strike back at me with her
hand, losing her balance on the bowl, her head dunking into the vomit-filled wa

ter before she woke up enough to stop herself from potentially dying the most pa
thetic death ever drowning in the bowl of a toilet.
What the fuck?! She threw her head back, the water from her hair dripping down her
face, over her lips and chin. I grinned and shook my head at the tragic excuse
for a person sitting on the floor in front of me.
Youre pitiful, you know that? The words escaped my mouth as my tongue darted out to
smooth over the ring in the center of my bottom lip.
She looked up at me with unfocused eyes and it appeared as if her head was too h
eavy for her neck. When she was finally able to hold it still, she squinted up a
t me, her mouth twisting into a scowl.
I would look a hell of a lot better if my hands werent tied to a fucking toilet, d
ick. She laughed. Hell, Id look a lot better if you threw a bottle of liquor in my
Her head was immediately in the bowl again as her entire body moved to expel the
bile in her stomach. When she was done vomiting, she cried, not daring to look
up at me. I could feel her hatred from where I stood and I imagined she blamed m
e for her current condition.
Im not attempting to hurt you, Eleni. If nothing else, Im attempting to help you.
She laughed again, the sound choked and broken by the bubbles in her throat. Who
the fuck asked you for help?
Looking up, her eyes shot daggers through me, a hint of violence swirling behind
the bloodshot blue. I didnt care about her anger and it was nothing more than am
using to me.
What would your mother think of you if she found you like you are? Maybe I should
snap a picture and send it to her. I bet shed be so proud. I only said those word
s to taunt her I knew her mother was no longer alive.
The scowl that previously graced the delicate features of her face turned into a
n expression so venomous that Im sure had she not been bound, she would have atta
cked me with the heaviest object she could manage to grab in the small room.
Fuck you, you sick son of a bitch! What the fuck do you think you know about my m
other, about me or about my life? Let me the fuck go or kill me, I dont fucking c
are. But for Gods fucking sake, stop fucking talking to me! I dont want to hear wh
at you think, or what youre going to do, or why you have me here! I dont give a sh
it about you or your psychotic reasons for kidnapping me and holding me fucking
hostage! Just do me a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Pulling at the bindings with all the strength that she had, she screamed an unho
ly sound when the ties cut into her skin and immediately bent over the bowel aga
in to retch. Her body shook violently and sweat dripped from her skin and hair.
Between heaves, she cried, the tears washing over her face before slipping from
her chin to join the remnants of her stomach.
I laughed.
Keeping my voice calm so that I didnt reveal my true shock at her outburst, I res
ponded, Im going to release you now. As usual, you look like shit and probably sme
ll the same. You should be ashamed of yourself, Eleni. Soiling yourself like a y
oung child, not caring that a woman of any value or merit wouldnt be caught dead
in the condition youre in now. I paused to let my words sink in. When her body sti

lled and it appeared that she was well enough again to listen and understand the
instructions I was giving her, I continued. When I release you, were going to rec
tify your problem. Youre going to get a shower while I lay out clothes on the bed
for you to wear. When youre done getting dressed, youre going to join me in the l
iving room. From there, we will get you fed and hydrated. Well talk more and Ill g
ive you additional instructions once those tasks have been accomplished.
Looking up at me, she opened her mouth as if to respond. I held up a finger to i
ndicate that I wanted her to remain silent. Surprisingly, she stopped - closing
her mouth and keeping her stare locked to mine as she listened.
The instructions are very simple, Eleni. I have no need for your comment or opini
on. Youve fucked up your life. You are worthless. And Im the man who will not only
show you just how little value you hold, but who will cure you of your disease.
Walking to her, I bent down and noticed how she flinched away from me. When I ra
ised my hand, she flinched again. Slowly reaching over, I ran my fingertips down
along her face and over the swollen fullness of her lips. Tears continued to st
ream from her eyes, the unshed moisture glistening like crushed sapphires within
her eyes. Pulling my hand away, I reached in my pocket to retrieve a knife. Whe
n I snapped it open, she flinched away even more violently.
Noplease, not .
Shhhhhhhhhh. A mischievous grin spread across my face and I placed a single finger
on her trembling lip. I wont cut you not now anyway.
I turned away from her quickly to cut the binds. Without a word, I slipped from
the room and moved to choose an outfit to place on the bed. Once Id made my selec
tion, I quietly left the bedroom, leaving the door open for her when she was rea
It was up to her at that point. Her actions would dictate how the rest of the ev
ening would go.

Chapter Fifteen
~ Eleni ~
Whatever move I made next is going to have long lasting effects on me. I wondere
d if I would ever make it out of there, or if I would I continue to be his priso
ner until he finally took my advice and offed me.
I wanted to value my life and I thought hard about whether I should play the par
t of the good girl, or push him to the point of ending me quickly. It was a choi
ce between life and death, but some odd voice in me, one Id never heard before, w
as telling me to do exactly what he said. Not for safety or because it is the sm
artest idea. But, because I wanted to. Did I really want to go along with whatev
er this plan of his was?
I knew he was somewhere on the other side of the house, but I couldnt hear his fo
otsteps. Since hed left, Id been studying the creaks of the floorboards because I
didnt have shit else to do. In my mind, Id set up the layout of the house on the o
ther side of my prison door; living room, other bedrooms, other prisons, a kitch

en and even another bathroom somewhere in his palace.

My body worked on autopilot while I was deep in my thoughts. The thoughts that n
ever left me. The voices that never fucking stopped.
SHUT UP! I scream in my head as the hot water splashed across my back. It hurt,
but the pain was pleasure. I deserved the hurt. And since I couldnt poison myself
with my whiskey of choice, the pain of the water would have to do. I wanted to
mar my creamy complexion; reddening it in hopes that it would hold me over.
Without a thought, I worked through exactly what he wanted me to do. Cleaning my
self, once again becoming presentable for the world to see, even if he wouldnt le
t me leave the walls of my prison. I wouldnt admit it to him, but it felt good to
actually be clean after planting my face repeatedly in a toilet full of vomit.
I knew I was an unworthy piece of shit and that I created this mess I called a l
ife. I didnt blame him for the way he looked at me because I looked at myself in
the same manner. Id always been a disgusting excuse for a human being, but I igno
red that fact, using a fucked up childhood as an excuse to not care about being
better than I was.
A person can only be put down so much in life before they start to become everyt
hing they have been told. Every lie my parents fed into me became the raw realit
y of who I had become. I picked up the bottle of shampoo and threw it with all t
he force my weak body had. It crashed off the tile wall and fell to the floor, s
pilling its contents to flood over my feet, small iridescent bubbles springing u
p from the puddle of clear soap. I laughed realizing that Id been reduced to taki
ng my rage out on a plastic fucking bottle. God damn it all. I was more pathetic
than I realized.
My stomach rolled suddenly and I knew it wouldnt be long before the dry heaves st
arted again. My abdomen rumbled with its need for substance instead, which was a
pretty fuckin welcome surprise, because I wasnt sure of how much longer I could d
eal with the side effects of my disease eating me alive. It was enough to make a
nyone want to off themselves. Id eyed everything I could possibly use to hurt mys
elf around the bedroom and bathroom where I was held captive; but nothing looked
like it would really get the job done.
Stepping out of the shower, I toweled off as quickly as I could. I pushed the me
mories of my mother as far as they could go, only thinking about what waited for
me on the other side of the prison door when I was finally ready to leave.
The voices got louder. They were screaming at me to defy him. Fuck that guy and
whatever he demands.
If it was only that easy.
Maybe this was all just a big cat and mouse game. Lets be real, I was not a fucki
n stupid girl. I may have done some stupid and self-destructive shit in my time,
but dumb isnt a word that anyone would have ever used to describe me before him any
Smiling like a crazy woman, I eyed my withering body in the mirror. I was pale a
nd so dehydrated that it appeared Id lost weight. I hadnt been in his grasp long e
nough for a drastic change, but even the smallest hints of difference I could sp
ot. I laughed because I knew I could do this. I could play this game. I could gi
ve it back to him, and I would win. It was all I could do. There were no other o
ptions but to survive.
My body continued to rebel and the nausea came again. Mentally, I pushed the tho
ughts of my ailments away, hoping like hell that some psychosomatic effect would

take place and my body would feel normal once again. It didnt work and I scowled
as I brushed my damp hair and scrubbed the vomit from my teeth for the first ti
me in what seemed like forever.
Dropping the towel to the floor, I was unable to stand the feeling any longer wh
ile I was getting ready. I was naked except for the tattoos that masked the majo
rity of my skin. Being naked had always come naturally to me. I was not ashamed
of my body like most twenty-something bitches were. It was just some fuckin skin.
Nothing to go all ape shit over. But in this moment, I felt that shame. Why did
I care what he thought or said? Why did the opinion of a madman matter? Why was
I so easily affected by someone more fucked up than me?
Turning the corner into the bedroom, I stopped abruptly when I saw the tiny shee
r nightgown hed laid out for me.
This is what he expects me to wear? I laughed to myself. This guy cant be for real.
I looked at the tiny light pink fabric and cringed. Who in their right mind woul
d wear something like this? It was fucking hideous. It wasnt even real clothing.
It didnt cover anything and it looked stupid with the lace and bows that were sup
posed to cover my tits. I wouldve been better off walking around this damn place
butt-ass naked.
The laughter in my head grew louder as the voices cheered me on. I was sure it w
ould only land me in more trouble than Id already been in, but I was pretty sure
it was a genius idea. Just as I was on the verge of listening to the voices that
had caused nothing but trouble my entire life, I could hear a quiet faint voice
in the mass of chaos.
Dont do it, Eleni. Do as he says, Eleni. Play his game, Eleni.
She was quiet and she was new.
But was she smart? That was something I didnt yet know. As I slipped on the sad f
uckin excuse for a nightgown, I hoped this quiet lady in my head would be the gua
rdian angel Id been in desperate need of for the majority of my life.

Chapter Sixteen
~ Gabriel ~
Her bare feet padded softly on the floor as she walked though the hallway. The h
ouse was so fucking silent that it felt like I would suffocate within nothingnes
s and loss until I heard the approaching steps and my heart beat stronger in my
chest. Finally she was listening.
Id considered turning on some music, something light and airy; something anything
- that could induce a trance like state. Serenity, peace, and overwhelming calm
; that was what she needed, a small bit of light in the abnormal situation Id cre
ated for her. But then I wouldnt have heard those steps and I wouldnt have known t
he exact moment when the relationship between us had finally shifted into what i
t needed to be.
From a mirror in the hall I could see her face. I watched as her expression turn

ed from one of wonder to remorse - to fascination and trepidation and finally, t

o acceptance. She turned the corner and my breath left me. My eyes searched over
her body the contours and curves accentuated by the sheer fabric that covered h
er. Her piercings could be seen shining against her skin the light in the room j
ust barely catching it beneath the light pink fabric that covered her skin. She
looked good in pink and I couldnt help but laugh to think that Id never before see
n her wear the color. Not in the times Id seen her in person and never in the cou
ntless myriad of photos she posted to the web the ones that now filled the hard
drive in the computer I used to follow her.
Her eyes scanned the floors and walls, stopping every so often on the surreal pa
intings that depicted people screaming or dying the struggles that I had in myse
lf that could only be conveyed by the stroke of a brush across canvas.
Nice art. She commented in a quiet voice and it was obvious she was lost as to whe
re this would go and what Id planned to do with her.
A true smile spread across my face and it felt foreign over the skin of my cheek
s. It was rare that the expression would appear, and I wondered inwardly if it w
as one she enjoyed. When I didnt respond, she shifted in her place, nervous and u
ncomfortable to have lost her fighting edge. Her hands were held together in fro
nt of her and her eyes widened when I allowed the silence to become thick as it
permeated the space.
Are we just going to stand here, or ?
Quiet, Eleni. I was merely taking a second to look at how beautiful you are. The
color suits you it brings out a bit of innocence that most would not believe cou
ld exist inside you.
Widening more, her eyes seemed to glisten out from beneath the sheen caused by h
er illness. Her skin was pale and her cheeks looked to be sunken in. Her shoulde
rs drooped and I could see her hands shake where she held them. She wasnt well, b
ut I knew she would make damn sure not to let me notice. It was too bad that Id s
tudied her so much over the past months, that there wasnt a single act she could
commit that wouldnt tell me exactly what she was thinking or feeling. I knew her
inside and out.
You need to eat
Im not hungry. She interrupted immediately,
t burned within her. She would submit had to
he mindset and lifestyle that would ultimately
erself, but first she needed to know what it
her that, even if I had to do it by force.

still refusing to give up the fight tha

submit in order to be pulled from t
destroy her. She needed to love h
meant to love. I intended to teach

Let me restate what I was saying: You WILL eat, Eleni. I can see from here that y
oure falling apart, that your body is struggling to keep you moving. Youre shrunke
n and pale, youre dehydrated. How will you ever fight me off in that condition? W
ouldnt gathering your strength be the better move survive by taking care of yours
elf, rather than dying slowly for not giving a shit about who you are?
I tilted my head to the side and took a few, slow steps in her direction. She ey
ed me warily, but didnt move, didnt dare break the position she held in front of m
e. She was still stubborn despite her compliance.
What kind of person do you want to be, Eleni? The type that creates her own life
or the type who drinks herself into oblivion, who
Who the fuck are you to talk? Tears broke apart her rattled words. She was breakin

g down, the false front of absolute strength finally dissolving to a point where
the vulnerable and weak person inside would show through the tarnished exterior
I mean, look at you. Youre standing there wearing all black and chains, living in
some goddamned cathedral looking place candles and art and music and shit and ye
t, even though youre so fucking put together, youre the sickest person in this roo
m. So what if I look like shit! I obviously was good enough for your sick ass
My hand was over her mouth before she could finish and her head was against the
wall within seconds. The tips of her toes barely scraped the floor and her eyes
were like perfect spheres swirling with fear and hatred.
Youve said enough and Im fucking tired of the little bitch act that you refuse to l
et go. I paused and gave her time to stop struggling before I lowered her feet th
e floor. Without removing my hand, I continued, Youve lost, Eleni. There is nothin
g you can say or do that will let you leave this place. However, the only monste
r you currently face is the one you see when you look in the mirror.
Dragging her, I forced her to look in the large mirror on the wall beside the ha
llway. Her face was illuminated by the light above and her eyes finally opened s
he was forced to stare at the reflection of who shed become. There was no drunken
barrier or fucked up male to tell her that she was beautiful. There was no besti
e or other slack-jawed admirer to lie to her in order to get between her legs. Th
ere was only me, her body and a mirror captor, captive and the truth.
Youre not strong. You dont have control. You. Never. Fucking. Have.
When she attempted to close her eyes, I forced her forehead into the mirror so h
ard that the glass splintered into tiny fissures. The blue finally broke free fr
om beneath her eyelids and I held her staring at herself, compelling her to face
the demons inside herself the demons that were a parallel to mine, but for far
different reasons.
In truth, Eleni, youre weak. Youre a danger to yourself and to the people around yo
u. Your presence alone makes your friends and loved ones weaker because, not onl
y do they have to carry their weight, they have to carry yours.
She laughed and I was thrown off by the sound.
Loved ones? Laughing again, she finally sunk against the wall, pressing herself de
eper into the fractured glass until small wisps of blood trailed along her broke
n skin. To what loved ones are you referring, exactly? My friends who dont notice
me unless Im handing them a shot, or how about the self-absorbed assholes who wil
l say or do anything to turn me into their ten minute lay? Are they the ones tha
t love me as my ass is pressed up against some dirty fucking toilet stall while
they fuck me and grunt out their satisfaction? Are those the people Im supposed t
o love?
The tears fell from her face, trailing down beneath her chin and over the skin o
f her neck. I noticed how she swallowed hard possibly, for the first time, admit
ting the things shed just said.
Lowering my mouth to her ear, I whispered my next question. Is this the first tim
e youve faced the truth of your life, Eleni? Why now do your tears fall so heavil
y? Death doesnt scare you not once have you cried from fear due to the things Ive
done to you. No. It wasnt until you saw what youve welcomed into your life that yo
u cried.
She turned her head slightly when I finally released the tight hold I had in her

hair. So what?
A grin pressed out at the side of my lips and I took a deep breath to rein in th
e outward signs of my amusement.
I find it interesting that you can so easily fight against me fight against every
person who does or says something you dont like. But you cant fight against yours
elf; can you, Eleni? When you admit who you are and what youve allowed to happen
to your life, theres no fight left in you. Taking a moment, I remained silent, bas
king in the pleasure of watching her fall apart. I shook my head at the pathetic
sight. Its like I said youre weak.
Her tears fell even heavier when she repeated, So what?
I pulled her from the glass, and dragging her again, I led her into the kitchen
before planting her ass in a chair at the small table near the stove. When I was
convinced that she wouldnt move from the spot Id chosen for her, I walked across
the cool tile floor to the refrigerator. Opening the freezer, I pulled out a bag
of vegetables, turning to toss it in her direction before walking to where she
sat. She barely caught the bag; but when she did, she looked up at me with confu
sion lighting her eyes.
Its for your head. You have cuts from the glass.
Shouldnt you give me a wet towel or something? So I can clean it up?
The bag will do for now.
She scowled and small bits of blood trailed across her skin. Sucking my lip ring
into my mouth, I blocked out the images the crimson liquid awakened inside me.
The mere sight of her blood dripping down her face made my cock throb under my d
ark pants. I had to hide my apparent arousal from her. I couldnt let her see the
impact she possessed. Images of her broken and bloody crying as the force of my
fist struck her face. Perhaps the width of my cock ripping apart every orifice t
hat she had. I wanted to damage her more, to beat her down into an unrecognizabl
e pulp only to build her back up into the person she should be. I hated the woma
n that sat before me, but I admired the one who was still hiding inside the one
who chose to live, to keep going despite the shit hand shed been dealt. I didnt ha
ve that person, there was nothing inside me. That person was still crushed insid
e steel on a two lane highway 20 minutes south of where I now stood.
Put it on your head, Eleni.
Hesitating for only a second more, she finally shrugged and brought the frozen b
ag to her forehead. When she complied, I nodded and moved back to the fridge to
pull out ingredients for our meal.
Can I get some water?
If I hadnt been listening intently, I wouldnt have heard her words. They were spok
en so softly, I couldnt be sure that they were real. Turning around slowly, I gla
nced at the sullen look on her face.
Admitting defeat so soon?
She smiled shyly and I couldnt help but return the gesture. Holding
she sighed before she stated, Im thirsty, okay. Youre right. Im
and I feel like shit. I still dont want to eat your damn food and I
nything from you at all; but, youre right about one thing: I fight.
or any other bastard who attempts to hurt me

up her hands,
dehydrated as fuck
hate asking a
Ill fight you

But you wont fight yourself?

Will you stop with that, please? Tears threatened her eyes and I watched as she st
ruggled to control her reaction. Youve got me trapped in some strange place, in so
me stupid fucking pink nighty and instead of being a NORMAL fucking kidnapper, a
ll you want to do is throw it in my face of how fucked up I am? Do you enjoy pou
ring salt on my fucked up wounds? Is this some kind of added insult to the injur
y that makes you feel somehow better about yourself? Youve stolen a living, breat
hing person a HUMAN FUCKING BEING - and I dont even know what to say about that.
What the fuck is your name anyway? I dont even know what to call you!
Her eyes widened and I laughed. In all honesty, it would have made me vomit if s
he acquiesced so easily to using that term.
My name is Gabriel.
For the first time since Id met her, she looked at me without animosity or some f
alse front. Staring for a few seconds, her hand moved to her thigh and, without
conscious thought, she ran her thumb over the tattooed angel and said, I love tha
t name.
Slowly, I took steps towards the table, grabbed a chair and turned it backwards
to sit down. Yeah, about that I said while lowering myself into the chair. Why the a
ngel Gabriel, Eleni? What caused you to pick that image to permanently brand ont
o your skin?
The silence was thick between us and I watched as she battled herself, not knowi
ng whether to tell me to fuck off or to finally just give in and talk.
She surprised me when she opened her mouth and spoke.

Chapter Seventeen
~ Eleni ~
At that moment, something shifted between us. I wouldnt forget what hed done to me
, but I didnt see him solely as a monster. Small bits of another side him flashed
out every so often, making me realize that beneath the black clothes, the tatto
os and the bitter exterior, there was a man who was as lost as me. He was just a
s vulnerable as I was, even if he didnt allow his hardcore front to be impacted b
y my angry words. Now, as I was sitting there with him, guzzling down a glass of
water hed served me, I took the time to tell him about my most important tattoo.
Did you know when the angel Gabriel appeared in the bible, he scared people? I pau
sed for a moment, and let that fact sit with him for a moment. I had his undivid
ed attention and it was obvious that he hung on my every word. His attention was
new to me and I felt shy to finally have someone listen really listen to what I
had to say. He wasnt some drunken asshole out for a piece, or my idiot friend pr
etending to understand my thoughts he was a man who Id only known for a day or so
and one who seemed to understand the person I was inside.

When Daniel met the angel Gabriel, he was so scared he fell flat on his face. I le
t out a giggle thinking about other people having the same reaction to the Gabri
el that sat mere inches from me.
Did I just fuckin giggle? What the fuck? Whatever.
When Gabriel met Zacharias, his first words are Do not be afraid. But people didnt r
ealize that every time Gabriel appeared in the Bible, he was bearing some kind o
f amazing news. The baby Mary was carrying, announcing the birth of John the Bap
tist, he announced to Daniel the prophecy of seven weeks. Ive had so much bad new
s in my life, I needed the man of God on me. I needed his protection. I needed h
im looking over me, because no one else could. Annoying fucking tears welled in m
y eyes and I slapped at them because I was sick of being weak and pathetic. Only
this time, rather than crying from pain or from the fucking memories that conti
nually haunted me, I was crying to listen to the words that fell from my mouth. M
aybe by having him permanently marked on my skin, Ill hear some good news for onc
I wasnt sure why I chose to share that with him; but for the first time in years
the voices were docile. I knew I hadnt won - they would never allow that - but fo
r fucks sake the peace and quiet was so nice. So fucking nice that I kept talking
, not caring if he still listened. Looking back, I dont think it was really to hi
m that I was confessing I was confessing to myself.
So you see, Gabriel, my angel is my protection. Just kind of ironic that now Gabr
iel has taken on such a different meaning to me.
A quick chuckle broke free of my lips and, with that, I shut up. I refused to gi
ve him anymore than I already had. I couldnt give him anymore of me because Id alr
eady given him too much. Anything more, and Id have nothing left to keep to mysel
So why not make your own good news?
I must have looked at him like he was an idiot because his eyes narrowed from my
Okay, well do it your way. Ive got great news, Gabriel, in about ten minutes, Im goi
ng to escape your place and run away to my home where Ill no longer be captive. W
hat do you think about that?
He placed a plate in front of me with two slices of peanut butter toast. I didnt
engage him or say anything else as I waited for his response.
Keep talking like that and Ill have to tie you down again. I thought we were final
ly working this thing out between us. I say jump you say how high.
I didnt react to the angry growl in his voice. He wanted that wanted my fear - an
d I was still holding onto just the tiniest bit of my stubborn ass behavior. Ins
tead of responding, I turned my attention to the simple but delicious snack in f
ront of me. I would never admit it, but I could live on peanut butter toast and
milk. Itd been a favorite of mine since childhood. I didnt want to overstep him, o
r push my already churning stomach, but I wanted milk.
Do you have any milk? I asked with a whisper. But he heard me, despite the quiet h
ush of my voice. He was hanging off of every word that I spoke.
Would you like some, Eleni? He was mocking me, making me beg him for every single
favor he paid me. He was making it obvious that he held the upper hand, but he w
as doing it in a way that was non-threatening. In an odd way, he was adding humo

r to a painful situation. I could appreciate him for providing levity to the nig
htmare I was living.
Nodding in reply, a tame smile spread over my face. He shouldnt make me smile. He
shouldnt make me happy, but right now, his sarcasm was awakening a small fractio
n of happiness inside me. Sadly, it was the only time Id felt that for as long as
I could remember. Even if he wanted to throw my shitty life in my face, and eve
n if he wanted to stir up the demons that had eaten me alive for a decade, I app
reciated the conversation we were having. It was good to finally release some of
the nightmares inside me without lying on a therapists couch and shelling out mo
ney to the bastard when I was done.
Fuck therapists.
Without a word, he stood up from the table and poured me a small amount of milk
in a glass. After a few bites of the toast and gulping down the milk in the glas
s, my stomach signaled me to stop. I didnt want to leave the other piece of toast
on the plate, but I also didnt want to throw up the first thing Id have kept down
all day.
When reality set in, the voices that had been quiet slowly crept up on me again.
The violent screams caught me off guard and shook the calm that had settled mom
entarily. I blinked my eyes closed, and only opened them when the touch of his h
ands disturbed me. I looked up to see Gabriel standing above me, tending to the
cuts on my forehead. The voices grew louder and louder. The screaming hurt my he
However, beneath the chaos, the quiet female voice returned. She was calming. Sh
e talked me down.
Eleni, he is helping you. Eleni, his touch is gentle. Eleni, dont let them win.
I tried to focus on that voice. It helped me, it calmed me, and it gave me the t
ime to let him clean and bandage the cut he caused.
It pissed me off that he hurt me. When I thought about how he caused this fuckin
g bullshit ass cut on my forehead, the rage boiled inside me and I started to pu
ll away from his touch. He tightened his grip in my hair, holding me in place. I
winced from the pain and without another thought, I gave up the fight. I needed
to get my strength back before I could take him on because I was nowhere near b
eing able to wage a fair fight. He was right about one thing in this condition,
I was weak. Mentally and physically, I didnt stand a fucking chance.
Eleni, if you know whats good for you, youll let me finish cleaning this. His tone w
as firm and demanding. I hated it.
I dont want your hands on me. I sassed him back and, in the blink of an eye, his op
en palm collided with my face. The fucker slapped me my head spinning around fro
m the force of his strike.
I wont tell you again, Eleni. Let me finish cleaning this. I was fucking polite th
e first time. He had no remorse for his actions and I could only cup my cheek wit
h my free hand.
Im sorry. I whisper in defeat.
Dont let it happen again. Ill let that slide for now.
His tone should have scared me, but it didnt. Id given up. The Eleni Id been for ye
ars would have continued to push him. But that new voice was keeping me somewhat

in check. I worked on changing the subject as he finished bandaging my head.

Tell me about your tattoos, Gabriel.

Chapter Eighteen
~ Gabriel ~
Her question annoyed me the minute the words fell from her mouth.
Theres nothing to tell. Theyre ink dark black ink that means nothing more than the
image they convey. Patterns and designs with no meaning.
I finished up cleansing her head and placed a small bandage where the glass of t
he mirror had cut into her skin. The wounds werent anything that would scar and,
most likely when they were closed, theyd be nothing more than fine red lines with
in days.
Walking away from her chair, I placed the medical kit on the counter and turned
to lean up against it while pinning my eyes to hers. Her lashes fluttered and I
watched as she attempted to look away, but was obviously too scared to let me ou
t of her sight.
Are you feeling better?
She nodded, her lips thinning when she so obviously tightened her mouth so as no
t to speak. I still noted rebellion in her mannerisms there was still the obviou
s refusal in her glare, the way she held her body to cover what was revealed ben
eath the pink of her nightgown.
Im glad. Food and water can do great things for the body. You should try it more o
ften. The sarcasm of my words wasnt lost between us and her eyes narrowed in respo
nse. Pushing myself up from the counter, I moved towards the table, my footsteps
unhurried in their approach. Id like to establish some ground rules, Eleni. Espec
ially now, before I have to force your hand once again. You appear to be listeni
ng, a fact which I greatly appreciate.
When she opened her mouth to respond, I placed a finger lightly over her lips. S
he shuddered beneath my touch and she sucked in an audible breath.
Kneeling down in front of her, my hands grasped the legs of the chair to
r in my direction. We were face to face, eye to eye. I couldnt help but
her, silently waiting to see her expression turn to one of defeat rather
ubborn rejection. It took a minute for her to give in; but once she did,

turn he
stare at
than st
I conti

I feel that its time we discuss what I expect from you. There are two things I wan
t, Eleni: your adoration and your submission. How I gain those things are up to
you they can be forced or they can be given. However, regardless of how I acquir
e them, please understand that I WILL have what I want.
Allowing my hand to travel from her lips, I ran the pads of my fingers softly ac
ross her cheek, down along her jaw and over her neck. Her body flinched beneath
my touch and I stilled my hand in response, allowing my fingers to wrap around t

he soft skin, placing pressure over her trachea and causing her eyes to grow lar
ge from the threat that my hold created.
I was touching you kindly. When you moved when you refused me - my touch turned v
iolent, Eleni. Pay attention to that fact. Its cause and effect - black and white
. If you give me what I want if you please me Ill return the same to you. Refusal
will only be returned with pain. Leaning in, I held my face so close, my lips ba
rely brushed against hers. You have no idea what type of man is staring you in th
e face. You dont know my thoughts, my motivations, or my desires and I promise yo
u, that you dont want to find out.
The heat of her quickened breath rolled across my face and I closed my eyes for
a second as I absorbed the feel of her against me. Her chest heaved and her skin
prickled. I could hear her heartbeat pounding beneath her ribs. She was struggl
ing against herself; her natural inclination to fight battling her understanding
that she had to admit defeat. She was in an impossible situation, yet the stubb
orn girl within her still refused to accept that shed been placed under a strange
rs control.
I dont want to hurt you, not like this. Pain can be a pleasure or a punishment tha
ts for you to decide. Youre still sick, Eleni. Physicallymentallyand spiritually. Th
ere isnt a single part of you that isnt poisoned by your own hatred of yourself. Y
ou give yourself away to men, make yourself a slut and for what? To get off? To
escape? Or to feel loved?
Fuck. You...
My grip tightened and choked off her words. Her mouth fell open in a desperate a
ttempt to fill her lungs. Wrapping my other hand around her hip, I pushed the fi
ngertips tightly against the nerve endings beneath the sensitive skin. She yelpe
d, her hips bucking back into her seat so hard that the wooden feet scraped agai
nst the tile. When she stilled, I released the hold on her neck only enough that
she would be able to breathe again.
Like I said, beautiful, refusal will be met with pain. Do NOT push me. You think
you know what Im capable of already, but I can promise you that you know nothing
about the man who is currently holding you in place where you sit. I have nothin
g to lose in this. If you live I get what I want. And if you dont well then the s
hame of a wasted life falls on your shoulders alone. You are the only person who
can save yourself in life, Eleni or in this.
Allowing my grip to loosen even more, I expected her to pull away, to move quick
ly so as to avoid my touch. She surprised me when she looked me dead in the eyes
and held her body in the position Id left her, even with the pads of my fingers
no longer tracing along the soft silk of her skin.
Replacing my hand on her shoulder, I brushed along the bone, down farther so tha
t I was barely brushing across the top of her breast. My cock jumped in my pants
and I inwardly groaned at not being able to rip her from the chair and bend her
over the table. Sex and violence belonged together in my mind. Dominance and su
bmission pleasure and pain. It wasnt a concept understandable to most, and it was
nt something the majority of people would consider ideal. But it was the way I li
ved my life. Opposite sides of the spectrum crashing together to make you feel a
small spark of life in the mundane existence and straight and narrow trails tha
t the majority of us traveled on a daily basis.
Moving my hand lower, the swell of her breast met my palm and I inhaled deeply,
forcing myself to move slowly while keeping my eyes trained to her and my mouth
within inches of the full lips I had the desperate need to bite, suckle and kiss
. I barely traced the outline around the side and she shivered in response. Her

nipples hardened and her legs trembled when she forced her knees to remain toget
I allowed the tip of my tongue to peek out from between my lips, taking a quick
taste of the luscious mouth that was just in front of mine. Desperate bits of br
eath rolled over the fullness of her lips, begging me to make contact.
A whimper escaped her throat, small and unsure, I could smell the rebellion leav
e her body, only to be replaced by fear with small hint of lust. Her body respon
ded beautifully her head swimming in the emotions and hormones that my touch ind
uced. Brushing my tongue lightly across the crease in her lips, I reveled at the
salt taste of her skin, the moisture trapped within the crevices of her lips. B
ut what I imagined would be soft, was instead hard and dry - cracked and broken.
I pushed away from her, standing up and turning around to not look upon the body
that should be perfection, but was instead destroyed by carelessness and hate.
Your mouth. Why is your mouth so fucked up? Turning back in her direction, I stalk
ed forward to grab her by her hair. What the FUCK have you done to yourself, Elen
She cried silent tears that escaped her clouded eyes, small rivulets that spoke
of her fright and her pain.
Answer me!

I I dont Her words were broken apart as she spoke. I dont know what you want me to f
cking say!
The loud thud against the wall was unexpected and I fell to my knees when her bo
dy doubled over and she slid to the floor. Id tossed her like nothing more than a
broken doll my anger and rage driving me to a point where I no longer controlle
d my actions.
Shes uglyinside and outshe made herself ugly to spite youShes not aliveend her
My hand hit the wooden chair, sending it crashing in her direction. Her hands we
nt up to brace for the impact and, after pushing the chair away, she placed her
hands over her head, curling up into a ball next to the wall where Id tossed her.
I was on my feet within seconds, moving as if on autopilot. I was losing the sma
ll bit of control I had in her presence and the sounds of her cries only stoked
the already raging flames. Her feet dragging across the floor again, Id made it t
o my bedroom with her hair fisted in my hand without even realizing where I was
taking her. She didnt speak or scream, and she stepped quickly in an attempt to m
atch my pace. When I pulled her through the doorway, and when her eyes found the
large bed in the center of the room, she resisted. My fist closed even tighter
in response to her struggle.
Despite what she thought of my intentions, I didnt drag her to the bed. I was roc
k hard in my pants and I had a beast within me begging for release, but I couldnt
fuck her not now while she was bitter and broken, her body and mind diseased by
the illness shed created in herself.
She continued to struggle all the way to my bathroom where I finally released he
r, allowing her to fall to the floor, crumbling into the pile of worthless trash
that shed become.

Get the fuck up. Move to the fucking vanity and sit your piece of shit ass down i
n the seat. She hesitated, tears still streaming down her face and I cradled my h
ead in my hands to stop the relentless bullshit.
She doesnt respect youshell only laugh at youshe doesnt want you
My hand came in contact with her face, and her head spun in the direction of the
Stumbling to balance her weight, she pushed herself up from the floor. Blood see
ped from the split in her lip to mix with the wet streams running from her eyes.
When she sat down in the seat, I looked at the reflection in the mirror that sa
t before her. She watched me, her body trembling as I walked towards her. Flinch
ing as I reached around her, she said nothing when I picked up a hairbrush from
the counter.
Take this.
Dont ask questions. Take the fucking brush. Do something with that fucking rat nes
t on top of your head and when youre done with that, well move on to the next step
. Make yourself presentable, Eleni. Make yourself so fucking beautiful that I wo
nt be able to resist fucking you. Its either that or the alternative to which Ive a
lready introduced you.
I leaned down again, the rage rattling in my chest and seeping out of my pores i
n pure heat. My voice was a growled whisper a plea that she could never understa
nd unless she lived with the nightmare of my life. They wont shut up, Eleni. Make
them shut up. Make yourself so fucking irresistible that they only thing they wa
nt to do is devour you with my cock and not with my fucking fist.
What the fuck
Even though the words were spoken under her breath and not directed at me, I cou
ldnt hide the irritation that slithered along my spine.
My hand was fisted in her hair and I pulled her head back while wrapping my othe
r hand around her throat. I looked into the wide pools of her eyes and smiled.
Submit, Eleni. For fucking once in your life, do something to help yourself inste
ad of hurt yourself please. Just take the brush and do as I tell you. Its that si
Stepping back, I allowed her room to make her decision. After a few seconds, she
breathed out a defeated breath, grabbing the wooden handled brush from the coun
ter and using it to comb through her long brown hair, turning what resembled str
aw into something that glimmered like silk under the lights of the vanity. When
she finished, she placed the brush back on the counter and I closed my eyes at t
he sound of the wood hitting against the marble surface. When I opened them agai
n, I found her staring at me through the mirror.
Do you have any other arguments for me, or do you understand how this relationshi
p will work between us?
Without hesitation, she nodded her head. I understand.
Good Girl.

The lush fullness of her lips split apart when she next spoke. I expected her to
tell me to fuck off, for her rebellion to resurface as easily as shed submitted
to my control. But what she said the words that rolled over those succulent lips
surprised me more than anything shed said or done since shed arrived here.
Okay Gabriel. Ill play this your way. A pregnant pause, a single moment that would
define the rest of our time together. It was the beginning and the end to our jo
urneya moment where we walked from animosity into acceptance. And if the way she
looked at me hadnt set me off already, her words served to make my erection so po
werful, I could no longer hold onto my control.
I understand what you need from me now and Im ready to give you what you want. I j
ust have one question.
Nodding my head, I permitted her to ask whatever question rolled around in that
beautiful little head of hers.
Where do you want me next?

Chapter Nineteen
~ Eleni ~
My mind was spinning in circles trying to keep up with Gabriel and his ever-chan
ging moods. He was hot, he was cold. He wanted me, but then I was nothing more t
han trash. It was some kind of sick game and deep down inside me, I wanted to pl
ay along just as much as he needed me to. Life and death hung in the balance and
my actions were what would determine whether I survived or died in the nightmar
e hed created for me.
However, a nagging thought played over my thoughts. My bodys response to him the
way I felt when the heat of his skin met mine. It wasnt natural, and it wasnt good
but it was something I noticed in the quiet moments when he was kind.
I must have been just as sick and twisted as he was because, deep down, I wanted
him to continue touching me when I shouldve been disgusted by every last one of
his actions. I continued to bite my tongue; keeping the smart ass comments to my
self. I knew he was watching me like a hawk, waiting for me to slip up so he cou
ld beat on me some more. Little did he know in his deranged, fucked up mind, the
pain only turned me on.
I would continue to play as his good girl, to save my life and because I could s
ee that the monster within him was just the same as my own. It was like he could
read my thoughts, because as soon as I decided to play along to play smart inst
ead of hiding behind my bitchy persona - the sound of his pained voice interrupt
ed me from my thoughts.
On the bed, Eleni.
My body tingles all over from fear
o, but wanting him to finally show
s a slut, he was right about that,
ss and father away from the jacked

and elation, from not knowing what

me the other ways he could make me
but every orgasm brought me closer
up reality of my life. Was I wrong

he would d
feel. I wa
to happine
to welcome

the escape? Probably. But what other choice did I have? I could fight and hate
every moment or welcome the ecstasy his cock could provide.
The thought of whatever he wanted to do to me sent waves of excitement crashing
through me. He wanted me; and behind all of his fucked up glory, I wanted him to
Slowly, I walked across the room, never once allowing our vision to break. His b
eautiful green eyes burned through me, like I didnt even exist. He was in a tranc
e, and I knew it so well because I have been there so many times myself. As my k
nees pressed against the edge of the bed, I carefully spoke to him again.
What do you want me to do on the bed, Gabriel? I continued to hold our stare as he
battled internally with his own voices. Oh how alike we truly were.
Take off the nightgown, beautiful. Tell me that youre mine to control.
I shouldnt have been turned on by his polite demand; but I just Couldnt. Fucking.
Help. It. When his eyes were heated, the green burned right through me. It was i
f they produced light all on their own their warmth branding my skin with his lu
st his flame.
He wants to love you, Eleni. You know these demons, Eleni. Guide him to the ligh
t, Eleni.
The voice was back and she made little sense to me. Guide him to the light? I ca
nt even fuckin get myself there.
Regardless of my confusion, I listened to his instructions and let the ugly pink
nightie fall to the floor. His eyes flashed a newfound hunger Id never seen from
him before. This was not his deep hate for me or the constant disgust hed showca
sed every chance he could get. It was different and I was no longer scared of wh
at the near future held. He wanted me in a way Id never felt wanted before. It wa
s exciting and terrifying the thought of this violent man consuming me in ways t
hat would make me scream as I lost myself to his dominance. Id always been the on
e to hold the reigns with the men Id been with before; but I was quickly acceptin
g to hand them over when it came to the one who stood before me.
My voice shook with nervousness. This is all for you, Gabriel. What do you want m
e to do next? It may have sounded elementary, but I didnt want anything to ruin th
is brief moment we are sharing.
Lay on the bed for me.
I slowly climbed up onto the bed and positioned myself in the center. Lying back
onto a pile of pillows, I continued to watch him with eager anticipation.
Touch your breasts, Eleni. His tongue peeked out just before he sucked his lip rin
g between his teeth.
My body shuddered as I was taken aback by his command, but without giving it any
thought, I ran my fingertips along the creamy white skin of my swollen breasts.
My breathing hitched as my cunt started to come to life. I could feel the wetne
ss between my legs and I slightly spread them to give Gabriel a better view of w
hat he has caused.
The growl that emanated from his chest told me that he noticed how ready I was.
His voice was gritty raw when he gave me the next instruction. Pinch your nipples
. I want them hard.

I rolled them between my fingers, pinching them hard so they would come to life.
I closed my eyes and got lost in the sensation.
Eyes on me, Eleni. Always keep your eyes on me.
I parted my lids and watched him from across the room. Sitting down in a chair,
he leaned completely back with his legs spread as he watched me. His hand rested
on a very noticeable bulge in his pants and I couldnt help but think about his c
ock. What did it look like? How big was it? Would it hurt me? What would it tast
e like?
Spread your pussy open for me, Beautiful.
My hand slid down my body, eagerly complying with his demand. My fingers parted
my bare pussy lips, still clean from my last waxing, and pleasure crashed throug
h my body. I couldnt remember the last time Id touched myself. Id always had someon
e doing it for me. A moan escaped from my parted lips, and I could hear Gabriels
sharp intake of breath from across the room.
Do you like what you see, Gabriel? I bravely asked. I cant hold back my bold action
s when I saw so much pleasure in his eyes. He wanted me. He wanted my pussy that
was wet for him.
Yes, Eleni. Its about fucking time you obey my commands. I love it when youre my go
od girl. Rub your clit for me, beautiful, I want to hear you scream. His hand ran
along the top of his pants and over his length again. I wished he would unzip h
is pants and expose it for me. I knew he was turned on.
I couldnt help myself, it felt too fucking good. Another moan slipped from betwee
n my lips. Mmmmm, Gabriel.
The chair crashed as it tipped over and he stalked across the room toward the be
d. I should have been scared, but I knew hed finally hit his breaking point. He w
anted me. He wanted to be balls deep inside me, just like any other man in his p
osition would want. His desire sparked a fire deep inside me I hadnt felt in ages
. This wasnt just some random guy who wanted to get inside my pussy. No, this was
a power struggle I was finally winning. My tight cunt just might be my key to m
y freedom if I played my cards right.
Kneeling on the bed, he leaned down to whisper in my ear.
His mouth sucked on my earlobe, before speaking.
Whatever you do, Eleni, just remember that you are not allowed to touch me.
I was confused by his words, but lost that train of thought when his tongue trai
led down my body, momentarily stopping to suck on each of my nipples. My hands f
isted the bed sheets with his words replayed in my mind. When his mouth reached
my bare mound, I was panting like a bitch in heat. I couldnt take it anymore. I n
eeded his lips on my pussy.
Please, Gabriel, I whisper.
His tongue darted out of his mouth and licked my swollen clit. My body convulsed
under his simple touch.
Oh God, Gabriel, I cried as he repeated it again, only stopping to explore the res
t of my waiting cunt with his mouth. I was damn near in heaven when my hands let
go of the bed sheets and fisted his hair.

Chapter Twenty
~ Gabriel ~
The sound of her scream bounced around in my head while my already hard cock gre
w even more. I shouldnt be this turned on by pain I shouldnt enjoy the sound of a
woman begging or pleading. But whatever existed inside me was fed by the chaos a
nd pain, the endless and high-pitched howl of a woman whod broken the only rule Id
given her.
My eyes turned in her direction as she knelt on the floor. Id ripped her off the
bed the moment she touched me, twisting her delicate wrist within the large crus
hing grip of my hand and forcing her arm behind her back, pulling up so that her
knees instantly bent as I pushed her upper body to the floor. Her bare ass pres
sed up against my chest and the sound that escaped me resonated with the violenc
e and cruelty that her touch had brought about.
I fucking told you. There was one simple rule, one fucking command that you had t
o follow and what do you do? The same thing youve always done, Eleni. The same th
ing that has made you what youve become and thats left you as the piece of shit wa
ste of a life that you are.
Pleaseplease let me go. Her voice cracked with the shock of my sudden anger.
Begging wasnt going to help her this time. I knew she was weak and I knew she was
still ill, but my threshold for sympathy towards her condition had been passed
hours before.
Youre going to learn what happens to a woman who cant learn her place. Youre going t
o listen to my fucking words every fucking syllable and youre going to obey those
words like the good pet that you are. Youve lived far too long fucking everythin
g up for yourself, Eleni far too long free to roam about making an absolute spec
tacle of your useless fucking life. You have something Ill never fucking have and
as long as you keep trying to destroy it giving it no value whatsoever Ill be su
re to do the same.
My knee came down into her back, but I didnt press in with my full weight. To do
so would have snapped her spine and a bitch that couldnt feel anything below the
belt was useless to me. Besides, it was never my intent to break her completely.
I wanted her healthy and I wanted her undamaged. Her spirit was too remarkable
to be broken. Her life was too important to be snuffed out by a man who would ne
ver be able to live as much as she could.
Was I trying to save myself by saving her? Maybe. But, on some level, and under
layers of scarred skin and swirling ink, there lay the heart of a dead man a man
whose life could never truly be saved, no matter his actions good or evil. I ke
pt reminding myself that this was good. Maybe not the method, but the intent. I
wanted to fix her and set her free a soul saved by one that was too bitter and b
roken to enjoy the heat of the sun on his body or the cool, wet fall of rain ove
r his face.
My obsession had started that day outside the tattoo parlor. A simple girl who b
lew me off looked at me like I was nothing worthy of her attention or concern. B

ut then she showed me who she was. Through her pictures and posts, she exposed h
er weaknesses and insulted me at the same time. How was I not worth her attentio
n? A whore who took men in dirty shit stalls, who allowed her body to be ravaged
by cock after cock, drink after drink night after night.
After releasing my grip on her arm, she fell to the floor, groaning when she pul
led her arm in front of her and held her wrist to her chest. I could hear the si
lent sobs that escaped her throat and guilt washed over me for only a split seco
nd. By the time, I stood over her to look down at her naked body - the art acros
s her skin stretched taut she was crying so loud I wanted to fucking scream alon
gside her. I hated having to tuck my dick back in my pants without finishing off
what the little bitch had started; but I couldnt reward her. Even when I thought
wed come far enough to at least fuck shed rebelled again. Shed forgotten her place
, and I wasnt surprised.
We moved too fast, didnt we, beautiful? Kneeling down, I hovered over her, softly r
unning the tips of my fingers along her spine. She didnt move away or attempt to
block me from touching her and I smiled. Maybe things had changed.
Answer me, Eleni.
The few quiet moments that hung between us were like a weight on my shoulders. S
he needed to respond without being forced and she needed to start making decisio
ns for herself that would benefit her life instead of damaging it further.
I dont know maybe? I dont know what any of this is. I dont know why you have me and
I dont know why you wont let me go. I dont know what the fuck is going on, or who t
he fuck you are, or anything about this FUCKED UP situation!
Youve done this to yourself, Eleni.
NO ASSHOLE! Youve done this to me! Why can you NOT FUCKING SEE THAT?!
Her voice grew louder with each word she said until she was to a point where her
vocal chords strained to spit out the words bellowed at me from where she lay c
urled on the floor. I was surprised at the strength she found despite all the fa
ctors against her. Her body was ravaged by the withdrawals from lack of alcohol
and her mind was jostled and shut down by the reality that shed been taken captiv
Answer me something, Eleni. If youd not been drunk last night if youd not attracted
the attention of scumbags that wanted nothing more than to violate your body an
d walk away just like every other man whos touched you in your life would you be
where you are today?
She began to cry again; except this time, her tears were from frustration and ra
ge rather than pain, sadness or fear. I watched as she turned her face away from
me, gripping her head between her hands and bending over herself, attempting to
hide from me in the only way she knew how. She was shutting down. Mentally exha
usted and physically sick, she couldnt process the situation fully.
Talk to me, Eleni. I wont remind you again that when I ask
give me an answer. Theres nothing you can do to avoid this,
our life, bit by bit, piece by piece, until you see the same
til you realize that you are destroying the thing inside you
e are lucky enough to possess.

a question, you are to

were going to review y
thing that I see un
that not many peopl

And whats that, asshole? Her eyes shot to mine and her body straightened as she pus
hed herself up from the floor. Id hit a nerve and I was encroaching on truths tha
t she knew, yet would not willingly admit. Shed spent so much time hiding from th

e reality of her life, that to be forced to review it now to be made to dissect

it and examine it in exhaustive detail she was finally starting to open her eyes
to the ugly facts that made up her existence. She was a beautiful girl, with th
e potential to live a beautiful life but she was tossing it away because of ange
r and pain that she was too weak to admit she carried.
And thats the thing about false egos. The people who are nothing more than fuck u
ps and wastes the ones who cant function outside the confines and effects of drug
s and alcohol they develop this inflated belief that they should be valued by so
ciety; that they are, somehow, entitled to the same rights and benefits as those
who work their asses off to make something of themselves. They believe they are
entitled to the air they breathe and to the same comforts and benefits that the
honest and good fight desperately to find.
I realized then, that in order to force Elenis eyes open to make her not only und
erstand but acknowledge what her choices had done to her I needed to walk her th
rough her life and show her, in horrifying detail, every wrong thought, every wr
ong step and every bad decision she had ever made.

Chapter Twenty-One
~ Eleni ~
I wished I knew why touching him set him off the way it had. One minute we were
committing some of the most intimate acts two people could, and in the next, I w
as kneeling on the bedroom floor with an aching body and a bruised and battered
ego. In my own disgusting desperation to get off, Id lost track of his rules and
I was the only one to blame.
What is your earliest memory, Eleni? his voice interrupted my internal misery and
his question proved that this guy had truly lost his fucking mind. How the fuck
do you go from fucking someone, to beating them only to top it off with asking t
hem about their fucked up childhood? I was at a fucking loss as to what to do or
what direction he would go in next.
I didnt want to think about my childhood. All my life, Id done my best to block it
out. I didnt want to tell him the reason I was fucked up was because of all the
shit I went through as a young girl.
Will you be upset with me if I dont want to talk about my childhood? I cowered when
I ask, because I was waiting for another blow - waiting for some kind of physic
al reaction to my slight defiance. I didnt want to defy him; but, I just knew the
conversation would not end pretty.
He breathed out a frustrated sigh his voice suddenly soft again. He was Jekyll a
nd fucking Hyde and I wondered if there were two people trapped inside his muscu
lar body.
I dont want to have to force you, but I want you to talk about this with me. I coul
dnt understand why he was suddenly being nice. I figured he would fuckin push me,
force me to tell him the nightmarish tales. The memories that continued to haunt
me for decades after my parents brutalized and neglected me.
I dont even want to think about it, I admit with honesty. I was being genuine with

him and I wasnt sure why. He didnt mean anything to me and I was still searching f
or a reason that would explain why I meant so much to him. We were strangers. No
thing more and nothing less, but he acted like there was a connection between us
something that guided us together and refused to let us split apart.
The thoughts ate away at my mind and like usual, my body began to shake. But, it
wasnt the lack of alcohol in my system this time; it was the fear that coursed t
hrough my veins even though both of those bastards were six feet under.
Rising to my feet, I covered my naked body with my hands the best I could until
I was able pull back the sheets of the bed and tuck myself safely in their comfo
rt. I didnt feel safe, but the plush blankets helped to take the edge off. I cont
inued to fight myself mentally. I didnt want to talk to him about what happened t
o me, but the curiosity ate at me. Would I feel better if I opened up and finall
y told someone anyone - about the past? Isnt that what people do every day? Isnt t
hat what normal people do to get over shit? I didnt know, but I had no choice so
I spoke, revealing to him the details of the first fucked up memory that came to
When I was four, I dropped a gallon of milk on the kitchen floor making myself a
bowl of cereal. I paused and let out a deep breath before I continued. I was so hu
ngry. My stomach hurt because my parents forgot to feed me. It was almost two da
ys and it hurt so bad that I was crying. But, despite my tears, no one came to h
elp me. I could feel the sting of tears beginning to well in my eyes as my breath
ing picked up pace.
I poured the bowl without incident. I was actually proud of myself because I thou
ght that pouring it without making a mess meant that I was growing up that I cou
ld take care of myself that I would no longer be a burden on two people that obv
iously didnt have the time to take care of me. However, when I tried to pour the
milk, it was so heavy that it fell onto the floor and splashed all over the tile
. I could remember vividly what the black and white checkered tile looked like co
vered in the ocean of white mess. It was like a scene out of a movie, reminding
me a lot of that scene in Home Alone.
When the milk fell, I screamed because it startled me. I knew if I woke them up,
I was in deep shit, so I tried to clean it up as quickly as I could. But, before
I could take care of my fuck up, he caught me.
My sobs rattled my body, but I forced myself to keep talking.
My dad came in the room and when I looked up, I noticed that his eyes were danger
ous and I knew I was in so much fucking trouble. Instead of looking at my father
when he berated me, I stared at the tile flooring. Wishing it would end, but it
didnt. He kept screaming at me, the same way he would scream at my mother when s
he did something he didnt like.
The memories were always so violent - shit I would never wish upon another perso
n. Shit nightmares are made of. Shit Id tried to forget with any type of alcohol
that would provide me a moment of peace.
The bed dipped, and I knew Gabriel was behind me. I didnt move, continuing to lay
with my back to him; my exposed skin probably taunting him in his currently aro
used condition. I tugged the blankets up, covering more of my back and hoping he
couldnt see the deep scar that was barely covered by a back piece of the Virgin
Keep going. I could feel his breath close to my neck. I should have been scared of
this. But in my current state, I knew there was nothing worse that could happen
to me than the shit Id already gone through.

Id woken my father up. When he came into the kitchen he was only in his nasty ass
tighty-whities. He was mad, and I had no idea why. Yeah, I fucked up and spilled
the milk but it never would have happened if I wasnt so fucking hungry! Did they
not understand you actually have to feed a child? He yelled at me for a while a
nd tossed a towel on the floor trying to clean up the mess. When it didnt work he
picked up the milk soaked towel and started beating me with it. He didnt stop wi
th the towel, next came his hand, then a wooden spoon, and he finished the job b
y breaking the glass bowel full of cereal over my head. That is the last thing I
remember, because Im pretty sure I blacked out.
My body began shaking again and little black dots clouded my vision. My chest ti
ghtened and I found it instantly hard to fucking breath. I knew these symptoms o
h so well because it happened far more than I would ever like to admit. The anxi
ety attacks were more than I could stand, but the alcohol would always make them
easier to deal with.
The voices screamed taunting me, calling me names and re-affirming my lack of im
portance in the world. The tears washed down my cheeks, and I knew it wouldnt be
long until the darkness took me like it always did.
Eleni, he was in the wrong. He should have never laid a finger on you. Its the pas
t now, he cant hurt you anymore.
His hand pressed against my shoulder, rubbing back and forth in an attempt to so
oth my hysterics. But, he only made me worse. Before my world went black again,
I was able to reply to him.
He cant. But you will.

Chapter Twenty-Two
~ Gabriel ~
I would hurt her. Over and over again, I would hurt her. But my reasons were dif
ferent than the man who donated his genetic link his love of numbness his addict
ion to anything but that which helped him. I wanted the poison of her addiction
and the weight of her pain to seep out of the wounds that cut her deepest of all
the scars she carried from a lifetime of unfortunate events and blissful ignora
nce. I wanted her clean shined up and polished to a point where the life that sh
e still carried inside her blinded those that came near her. I could live vicari
ously through that. It would be a satisfying ending to the struggles of two peop
le that began on a single fateful day.
And your mother? She did nothing, I assume? I kept my voice calm, refusing to ackn
owledge the stabbing words shed just spoken.
A humorless laugh escaped her. Yeah, she did something alright. She took another
swig from the bottle before hitting me with it when I woke up. Im sure while I wa
s passed out, she stood over me and prayed I would die just so she could be rid
of another mouth to feed. She didnt like it when I upset daddy. She worshiped the
fucking ground he walked on because he kept her fucked up just the way she like
d to be. He could get the best drugs, he could play the streets well enough to k
eep the bills paid in the shitastic home they lived in. The fucking roach infest

ed box where they shared a bedroom and set me up a nice little dog bed in the co
She turned her head to look at me from over her shoulder. So, to answer your ques
tion, yes. She did everything a mother should. Thanks for asking.
My hand was gripped at the back of her neck, my thumb and forefinger digging sha
rply into the muscles and tendons. She yelped in pain and I brought my lips down
to whisper in her ear.
This works better if you hold back the biting sarcasm. Do you understand?
Her silent nod was all the acknowledgment I needed to loosen my grip.
Keep telling me about your parents, Eleni.
She cleared her throat and sniffled. From where I sat, I could see how her tears
had wet the pillow. I leaned over her, brushing my finger over the wet skin of
her cheek, relishing in the fact that not only was she being made to relive the
devastation that rendered her a pathetic waste the opposite of everything she co
uld be but that I was the person forcing her hand. I wont lie and say it didnt fee
l good to manipulate and force my way upon her. I enjoyed power. I enjoyed infli
cting pain. Id suffered so much of it in my life, that to see it extracted from t
he people around me, to remove their masks to show the weak-minded and frightene
d souls that truly existed inside it made me feel, for those few moments, that I
wasnt as alone as I knew myself to be.
I dont remember much. Most of my childhood I spent on my own. They were always pas
sed out in bed or out with their friends until the sun rose the following mornin
gs. I was afraid of the dark, but yet, I was left alone in it to rot. I often dr
eamed about running away and telling somebody anybody what was being done. She la
ughed, the pain bubbling out with each inflection of her voice. I wasnt old enough
to realize they couldnt treat me that way that there were option for kids like m
e places where I would be taken in and fed, bathed and sent off to school Her han
d gripped the sheets around her, the tension of her hold so tight, her skin turn
ed white over her knuckles.
I wanted to run away even if it meant I had to live on the streets. Even at a youn
g age, I figured it was safer taking my chances out there. I never knew when one
of my parents would fall asleep with a cigarette in their hand and burn the pla
ce down around us. She sniffled again. I knew they didnt love me. I was just some a
ccident that happened when they were too fucked up to use protection.
I considered her words carefully. How could a child at that age know anything ab
out how they were conceived? A sick feeling crawled along my spine, but I felt a
need to delve deeper to discover if maybe the lack of value she held for hersel
f developed from the touch of a man at far too young an age.
Did your father?
FUCK no. Thank God. She rolled over onto her back, her hands relaxing around the s
heet as she began to idly play with a frayed string at the hem.
Then how did you know how children were conceived? Why, at 6, did you know someth
ing so complex as to the physical nature of human beings?
Another sick laugh bubbled up her throat. Because I got to watch porn.
I remained silent, waiting for her to continue without prodding her along.

My parents didnt stock the house with Disney cartoons, so I watched the only thing
they had. Porn. They never knew and I didnt know it was wrong so I never said an
ything. I figured out thats where kids come from because my grandmother told me o
ne day when I asked her about it when I was over at her house.
Why didnt your grandmother help you? Didnt she know what they were doing to you?
Who do you think taught my mom everything she knew? Her hands continued to play al
ong the frayed edge of the sheet and I noticed that her tears had finally dried.
She sighed, long and hard before continuing. In all honesty, my grandmother wasnt
so bad. She was too old to keep at the hard partying lifestyle and she genuinel
y cared about what happened to me. I didnt tell her the bad stuff, the way they h
it me or the endless nights without food, heat or a bath. I hid that stuff becau
se I didnt want her to hate me for it. I looked at the time I spent with her as p
eaceful and I didnt want to ruin it by admitting how fucked up things were at hom
e. A sad smile graced her full lips. She actually did shit like pour me cereal and
she bought me packaged cookies. She never baked them A real laugh escaped her ch
est. Now THAT would have been pushing it if she actually baked the cookies, but s
he had no problem giving me the store bought kind.
What happened to her?
Sadness fell over her expression when she added, Grammy died when I was in my tee
ns, so I was pretty much left on my own after that. I had no other choice but to
latch onto whoever would take me friends, boyfriends, random people that would
take care of me until I could take care of myself.
And they did this without asking anything in return?
No. They got theirs. Trust me.
I brushed my hand over her shoulder to test how much contact she would grant me.
When she didnt move away, I leaned against the headboard, laying my head back to
stare at the ceiling.
Thank you for sharing that with me, Eleni. It helps me understand better.
Understand what?
I pushed myself up while blowing out a deep breath. Reaching my hand out to her,
I wordlessly requested she take it so that we could move back into the bathroom
. She stared at my hand for a few seconds, most likely wondering why I wanted he
r to get up. When she finally took it, she shifted on the bed and held the sheet
to her body as she rose from the mattress. When she was standing, I shook my he
ad and motioned towards where she held the sheet over her skin.
Drop it.
Her eyes widened and her bottom lip quivered. It was as if I could hear her thou
ghts simply by watching the expression on her face. Disbelief, shame, bitterness
and then acceptance. She dropped the sheet, allowing it to fall and puddle at h
er feet on the floor. Her arms came up to shield her nudity, but I reached over,
grabbing her wrists and placing her arms at her side.
Its time for you to see yourself for who you are.
Leading her into the bathroom, I listened as her bare feet padded gently behind
me. Once wed entered the room, I turned and indicated for her to stand in front o
f the full length mirror that was set into the wall. Her eyes glanced up at me,
confusion obvious in the expression on her face.

I want you to stand in front of the mirror, Eleni.

Her jaw moved as if she were going to reply, but, after a few moments of silence
, she reconsidered speaking and chose instead to move to stand where Id told her
to go.
Shrugging her shoulders, she looked at her reflection, slowly lifting her arms t
o circle around her breasts and abdomen. I stood behind her and reached around t
o, once again, pull her arms down to the sides of her body.
Her eyes closed, but then opened again moisture glistening from her unshed tears
Tell me, Eleni I grabbed her chin and forced her focus on the woman in the mirror. Wh
at do you see?

Chapter Twenty-Three
~ Eleni ~
I stood in front of the mirror eyeing my tattered body. His words continued to e
cho through my head asking me what exactly it was that I saw. I didnt want to tel
l him my thoughts because Id already told him far too much already. I was too raw
, too open for my own good and nothing good would ever come of the way hed expose
d me.
Eleni, I asked you a question. His sharp tone told me he was annoyed with my silen
I hadnt realized how long I stood there eyeing my naked body in the mirror and ge
tting lost in my own mind. Thinking of ways to put him off, get him to drop the
question that was lingering between us; but, now I knew that wasnt going to happe
n. He wasnt going to give up on hurting me until there was nothing left of me. In
a way, he was almost worse than my parents; especially since he used this disgu
ise of actually caring about me.
I see a broken piece of shit. Im fat, and ugly. I have too many curves and too man
y scars. I replied with a matter-of-fact tone, silently praying he wouldnt be upse
t with my flippant reply.
Eleni, Im not talking about your looks, his hand runs along my hip, slowly tracing
upwards until his finger brushes the side of my breast. It doesnt matter if youre f
at or ugly. You just need to learn what true beauty is.
True beauty isnt me; thats for damn sure. I was frustrated with his questioning an
d confused as to what he wanted me to say. From the reflection I could see his g
rimace behind me.
I dont understand your question, Gabriel. I was honest despite my fear of him. I di
dnt want to provoke him or answer wrong. He was being gentle, even it was just a
short lapse in his own sanity. Two different people I always had to remember tha
t he was two different people. My cooperation appeared to be the factor that det
ermined which person was present inside him.

Its not that difficult, Eleni. When you look at yourself, what kind of a person do
you see? He was getting upset again. He was angry with me and I knew I should st
art anticipating whatever was going to come from that point forward. Oddly, afte
r realizing how to deal with him, I wasnt as scared anymore.
I see a failure. A drunk. A whore. I see a leech, someone who could never take ca
re of herself. I see someone without a future. Someone with no friends or family
. I see someone who is unloved and will end up alone for the rest of her life. I
see a broken woman. A new generation of loser, because my genetics cursed me fr
om the start. Tears rolled down my face as I confessed everything I never wanted
to face about myself. I dont know what else to say, Gabriel. You know how I see my
self. I know how I see myself. Except this time, instead of being numb to the fee
lings my own opinion would cause, they were cutting me like a knife.
Tears start to pool in my eyes for the hundredth time, I hadnt cried in years and
it was starting to be a bit much. My head pounded from the emotional stress Id c
ontinued to keep at bay with whiskey for so long.
Eleni, only you can change those things. I was snapped from my thoughts as he step
ped behind me and wrapped his warm arms around my body. Im trying to show you what
I see, if you would just stop fuckin fighting me. I cannot promise you anything,
but that you will be better off in the end.
Gabriel, can I ask you something without you being upset with me? I was oversteppi
ng my boundaries, but the more time I spent with him, the more brazen I was beco
ming. Maybe I just felt hopeless finally. I didnt know if I would ever see the li
ght of day again, so why not try and pick his brain?
He was quiet as he stood behind me and considered my question. His eyes burned i
nto mine through the reflection in the mirror that stood before us. Finally, slo
wly, he responded, You may.
Do you really think Im beautiful? I held my breath while I waited for his answer.
No, Eleni. Youre not beautiful. Not like this, and not right now. His response cut
like a knife while his hand traced the curves of my body before he stepped aroun
d me so we could be face-to-face. I wasnt sure I wanted to see his face when he s
poke whatever nasty message he was about to deliver. My eyes fell to the floor a
s his hands continued to roam across my skin. A chill ran over me and I wished t
hat he would have just taken me on the bed, only moments before. His touch ignit
ed something within me that I needed. Not even my fear of him could smother the
desire I had. I realized that when hed called me a whore, hed been right I couldnt
say no, I wouldnt say no. I wanted him regardless of his abuse I wanted what he c
ould give me.
You can be beautiful, Eleni You will be beautiful when Im done. And you will be mi
ne when you are. His words sent a chill down my spine once again the sensation ma
king me feel like a whore. The whore that I was. The whore I would always be. In
stead of wanting love and a happy ending, I only wanted his body; his cock to fe
ast on me or to feel him deep inside my used cunt.
Little girls dream of a day when they will live happily ever after with a man wh
o will cherish them and love them. I gave up on that dream long ago. There was n
o Prince Charming for me, Id only been afforded the villains in my life.
Do you think I will ever be beautiful, Gabriel? His hands continued to explore my
body, his fingers pinching my nipples, bringing them to life as I felt his breat
h on my ear.

You are on your way there, cant you feel my desire for you to be beautiful? He pres
sed his erection up against my leg as he pulled my earlobe into his mouth, bitin
g lightly with his teeth.
One day you will be worthy.
Without another word, he left me standing in the bathroom, still looking at myse
lf in the mirror completely naked, wondering would happen next. Would he hurt me
? How would he make me beautiful? What other cruelties could he inflict and my m
ind and my body.
It was a moment when the mystery of it all was just too much to bear.

Chapter Twenty-Four
~ Gabriel ~
It was wrong and I had to walk away before things were pushed too far, too quick
ly. I wanted that girl my cock slammed against the zippered enclosure of my pant
s and walking was made more difficult by the swell of blood between my legs. But
, despite what the fucking voices told me and despite what my body demanded, the
re was still a part of me that knew if I fucked her, my entire scheme would be r
uined because Id go soft. I wouldnt be able to break her because I would allow mys
elf to care.
I wondered if she would follow me when I left the room. When she didnt, it spoke
to what I already knew about her. She was a woman taken captive forced to not on
ly prance around naked, but cut so deeply that she would bleed out every insuffe
rable detail of her life. I knew she hid from those things and I knew why. What
she didnt know was why it all mattered.
Why would she want to follow me? To her, I was nothing more than a crazed man wh
od taken from her and hurt her once I had her trapped. She was smart not to follo
w and, for once, it made me think that she was choosing differently that she was
thinking differently that she was caring more for her own survival than about t
he tough image she wore every damn day of her life.
Ill admit at times, Id lost sight of the point in what Id done. However, having wal
ked away, I remembered. She needed to be broken, she needed to be saved and I ne
eded her to continue living even when I could not.
My hand reached out and within seconds Id started the music that would silence th
e violence in my head. Nobody could understand what it was like always having bl
oodthirsty demons whispering in your thoughts. Id learned to ignore them long ago
, but there were times when their needs and their desires screamed so loudly tha
t I feared the only way to silence them was to act out whatever it was they were
demanding. Id done it before hurt people just for the purpose of causing pain an
d those screams turned to laughter and then to silence. The silence was welcomed
and I would hurt again to keep them at bay.
I was hospitalized with each occurrence. I never mentioned the voices never want
ed some doctor to see the problem for what it was; but they always saw it anyway
. They blamed the crash, the resulting head injury and the loss of my parents fo
r my behavior believed I was acting out as a result of anger, depression or they

believed Id been teased for my scars. They labeled me a schizophrenic from early o
n attempting to medicate me regardless of whether I wanted the pills or not. My
aunt worked hard to protect me. She was always watching over me. But even she di
dnt know the true extent of that damage that the crash had caused.
She learned eventually that music would help me. In her mind, it was a distracti
on her homage to the belief that music soothed the beast. She believed that, may
be, my mind moved too fast and frustrated me to the point of violence. Whereas,
she was correct in that music did help she didnt know that it was because it only
served to drown out the whispers and words, the visions of evil that resonated
in my head until there was no other choice but to do what they wished in order t
o silence them.
And now, using the same method my aunt had used for so many years to help me, I
helped myself. It was working until
She mocks you. Shes not afraid. She still tries to rule you
Youre ugly. Youre scarred. A monster shell reject after she scream...
Eleni go back in the room.
She laughs at you. End her. Youre stronger than her. You can hurt her silence her

I just wanted to see where you went, I dont like

She doesnt want you. You had to steal her. She brushed you aside
being alone
ELENI! Go! I begged.
She wouldnt listen. When I opened my eyes to find her standing in the doorway to
the living room, my hands fisted and my teeth ground shut. She was temptation pu
re, sinister and intense the temptation to end the whispers, the screams. It wou
ld only take a second the snap of her neck, the sound of her gasping for air, th
e look on her face when my hands were wrapped around her throat.
I wanted her to shut up to leave to venture back to the bathroom whered I left he
r so that I could gain control of myself before Id gone too far.
Go where?
Her voice was so small, scared and weak. She wasnt cussing at me or hurtling insu
lts, she wasnt standing up to me; but, at the same time, she wasnt backing down.
Id closed my eyes again when she last spoke. I couldnt look at her. The sound of h
er voice alone was tearing me apart inside. This condition this disease whatever
the fuck you wanted to label it was isolating me from reality; taking what I sa
w and heard and felt and twisting it into a nightmare. If I listened long enough
, if I didnt force her away, their words would become my reality. Worse than that
it would become hers.

Get out of here, Eleni. If you value your FUCKING life, get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Chapter Twenty-Five
~ Eleni ~
He yelled at me, and his voice sliced me like a knife. I should have known bette
r than to follow him, but I could hear his battle; the same battle I had waged s
o many times. Thinking no one was listening to me. Thinking no one would realize
I wasnt talking to myself, instead of battling the voices that taunted me.
Get out of here, Eleni. If you value your FUCKING life, get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!
He growled across the room, eventually turning his head to ignore my presence wh
ile he paced and cradled his head.
I should have run. He was offering me the one thing Id been begging for since I w
oke up in this place. Freedom. I could have walked out of his house right then,
not giving a shit about what happened to him or what kind of problems he would c
ause for someone else. Because, when it all came down to it, he wasnt my problem.
He wasnt my anything. Gabriel was nothing more than a common criminal with a psy
chotic streak.
I should have turned and left, just like he screamed at me to do. The voices in
my head were arguing back and forth. The good and evil. The right and wrong. But
, I couldnt distinguish which choice was the right one. I didnt want to admit that
, on some fucked up level, I cared about this man, that something inside me want
ed to save him drove me to save him. The painful expression that covered his fac
e scared me. Something was wrong terribly wrong and I knew that he needed help.
The lessons Id learned, the endless hours Id spent in school returned to me. I rec
ognized his behavior I could see that there was something deeper than an angry m
an. I just didnt know what. I could help him I could save him in the same way I w
ish someone had saved me all the years of my life.
My feet worked on their own and I started to cross the room. Every step closer t
o him I took, I lost the concern for my own life and I only wanted to help him b
attle the demons that clearly had a death grip on him.
Eleni, this is your chance to be free.
Eleni, you will never be free.
Eleni, he needs your help. He needs your love. Save him.
Eleni, save yourself.
SHUT UP! I scream without realizing I was no longer conversing inside my head. My
voice rang through the study, but Gabriel didnt flinch. He didnt notice me or my w
ords. The music continued to scream through the speakers and I continued on my p
ath towards him.
Maybe I was fucking crazy. Suddenly Gabriel was my new addiction, my new escape
from the memories of my shitty life. Id only traded the poison of whiskey for the
man whod kidnapped me. Could whatever this was work in the long run? I fuckin dou
bted it, but I knew no one saved me when I needed it the most; which was why I f

elt a desperate need to save him from himself.

Reaching my hand out, I lightly touched his arm. His entire body stilled upon co
ntact. His pacing came to an end and he took a deep breath. As he blew it out, h
e slowly began to speak in a whisper.
Eleni, you are free to go. Please, for once, make the smart move. He pulled his ar
m from my touch and walked over to a chair in the corner and sat down. But, I fo
llowed him. Stupid as it may sound, I couldnt leave him in the condition he was i
Gabriel, Im not going anywhere. You need me. Something is wrong. I dont know what,
but I can tell that something is tearing you the fuck apart.
I realized my actions certified me as officially fuckin crazy. He didnt need me, n
obody had ever needed me. Id always needed everyone else to take care of me. I wa
s stupid not to run. I should have been all the way fucking home by then; but, i
nstead, I made the choice to stay with this evil man. The man whod drugged and ki
dnapped me. The man whod beat the shit out of me on more than one occasion in a s
hort period of time. This was my choice and I didnt know if I would ever be able
to live with the long term repercussions of what would happen to me; but, the on
e thing I did know was that this was my chance to make all the bad shit Id ever d
one in my life right.
Walking around, I paced behind him before reaching up and resting my hands onto
Gabriels shoulders to still him. He doesnt protest my touch over the thin black tshirt that covered him. It wasnt until that moment that Id been able to take him i
n without worry or hesitation. I studied every inch of him from my position; his
scent, the sculpted muscles of his shoulders, the lines of the tattoos covering
his neck. That was when I notice the line of scars.
Oh shit, Gabriel. What the fuck happened to you?
He was silent, not moving or even breathing, just staring down at the floor with
out uttering a single word.
A few seconds passed and I dared to speak again.
Gabriel, please. Let me help you.

Chapter Twenty-Six
~ Gabriel ~
There comes a time in every persons life where they run against a brick wall. A t
ime when the pressure is too high the nightmares are too real and the past, pres
ent and future all collide into an explosive and cataclysmic moment that brings
you to your knees.
For me, that time was this moment. My past loss, my present lack of sanity, and
a future in which I would have to pay for my crimes. Id lost control, finally and
completely, Id surrendered to the voices that whispered, the demons that screame
d, and the long forgotten victim that died in the backseat of a car, despite his
body continuing to live on.

It was enough to twist my stomach within my body, to fog over any logic or compa
ssion that I had left within my head, and to force blood through my veins that w
as tainted with the poison of violence and decay.
Id warned her. Id given her a chance to survive. But, as usual, she chose wrong, s
he didnt listen, and she acted in a manner that would be her final mistake.
I told you NOT to touch me.
My words came out in a growl, my mind finally giving into the whispered suggesti
ons, my muscles relaxing as a wave of euphoria washed over me. I was tired of fi
ghting tired of constantly having to hide in the shadows and behind four walls.
It was easier to give in, to surrender to accept defeat and allow the morbid sug
gestions and vicious commands to take control. My grin grew wicked, my head fell
back and my eyes opened up to see the ceiling above me. I could feel her still
behind me, her hands slowly pulling away from my shoulders but not fast enough.
Her bones cracked when I grabbed her wrists, she screamed when I spun and forced
her to the floor. She was still naked still exposed to my sight. The markings o
ver her skin seemed to move on their own. I tried to track them but I was too dr
unk on finally resigning to my own insanity to see her for the helpless woman th
at she was. There was no more Eleni inside that body no person left with thought
s or feelings. She was a vehicle for my depravity. An empty shell that I could a
buse to a point where it brought me relief where it finally granted me silence.
My vision tunneled and every sound every scream, every begging word sounded like
it wasnt real. I couldnt see her, couldnt feel her, couldnt care that I was hurting
Dark brown hair wrapped around my hands, like holding on to a fish as you drag i
t from the water. Her body twisted and turned, her legs kicked out and her finge
rnails raking over the skin of my hands as she fought to get free.
But I wasnt going to free her this time. Not now that the whispers had turned to
laughter that those who used to insult me were now cheering me on. By breaking h
er, I was saving myself. By giving her pain, I was relieving myself of my own. M
y cock was rock solid, my heart was pounding through my chest and the little gir
l that handed herself over was now a vessel for my worst.
I no longer cared why Id originally taken her. I no longer felt a need to help he
r. My anger and repulsion drove me harder faster - and when I finally reached th
e room to which I was dragging her, I released my hold on her for only a split s
econd to drive the handle down and open the door into a room designed for one pu
rpose alone.
She took that second to attempt her escape. Instantly on her rug burned feet, sh
e pushed up from the ground, running down the hallway in an attempt to run. I la
ughed as I stalked towards her, my taunting words echoing through the hallway as
I watched her trip over her own feet flinching when she caught herself on wrist
s most likely broken by the grip of my hands. Her face was a mask of terror her
body was an instrument of my newfound lust. She stumbled, I lunged and I had her
You had your chance. You didnt take it. NowI get mine.
Her scream was music to my ears, it resonated and filled me, and it sent electri
city shooting over my skin and blood pumping through my veins.
I didnt stop to think about what happened between my bedroom and now. I didnt care

. It felt too good to be free to release the chains of insanity and wallow in th
e ecstasy of control. I dragged her by one foot back to that dark room not even
turning on the lights when we entered. I knew where everything was and there was
no need to frighten her anymore with the sight of the tools and restraints Id pl
aced in several different places on the walls, the floors hung from the ceilings
Plus, part of the fun was the surprise.
Reaching up with my free hand, I walked slowly, still gripping her ankle and ima
gining the tendons tearing and the bones rubbing together as she flailed to brea
k free. But freedom wouldnt be granted to the stupid woman who didnt know that her
time had run out. The metal hit my hand as the sound of chains echoed through t
he room.
Hear that, beautiful? Thats what you chose to stay for. Arent you excited?
Her groans and whimpers floated up from the floor and the quiet sounds made me h
arder than Id ever been. It was pleasure and pain a desperate need to dominate an
d violate. Pulling down on the chains, I secured the shackles around her ankles.
Stepping away when she was partially secured, I listened to the way the chains
beat against each other as she attempted to break free. Laughter bubbled up in m
y chest and I taunted her from in the shadows.
You gonna post about this, bitch? Look where your life has led you.
Reaching behind myself, I grabbed a bottle of whiskey Id stored away in the
I hated alcohol the smell, the taste what it did to the human mind. But
her poison; the one thing that she needed more than she needed to breathe. I
ted her sick. I wanted her begging. And I wanted to wash away every ounce of
dness Id given her since the moment I released her from that room.

it was

I was on my knees beside her and, gripping her hair in my hand, I kept her body
Open your mouth, Eleni. Youll like this.
She didnt listen, but I was able to release her hair when, finally, she realized
that continuing to fight meant death. Placing my thumb over her bottom lip, I pu
lled down cutting her lip on her teeth while hyperextending her jaw. With my oth
er hand, I tilted the bottle over her face and poured.
Better swallow baby. Youll drown in your own fucking addiction if you dont.
I could hear her throat move as she desperately swallowed. The coughs and sputte
rs as she choked on the harsh alcohol flooding her mouth and running in rivers o
ver her face. She attempted to move her head, but I held her still until every l
ast drop had been poured from that bottle. A puddle of the bitter smell accumula
ted beneath us both, but I didnt care. I wanted nothing more but to show her who
shed been testing all along.
Tossing the bottle aside, I waited for the sound of the shattering glass to subs
ide before asking, You wanted to help me, right? You wanted to fuck me. You were
begging for it only an hour ago, my beautiful girl.
Standing up, I grabbed the second set of chains that hung down from the ceiling.
Pulling them until they groaned from the strain, I secured the cuffs around her
wrists and hissed in a breath at the sound of her screaming once again.
Bet that hurts. Give the whiskey a bit to kick in, Eleni. Youre going to need it.

I was on my feet once again. My hand grasped the handle of the chain attached to
the pulley. Yanking down, I heard her yelp when the chains lifted her from the
ground, suspending her in mid-air a swing made of flesh and bone.
My hands reached for my pants and within minutes, they puddled over my ankles as
I spread her beautiful legs and positioned myself between.
You wanted to help me. Remember?
She was silent, still the only sound in the room was the strain on the hanging c
Close your eyes, beautiful, and pretend this is just another stall, in another ba
throom, in another bar. That should make you feel like this is nothing new.
Fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips, I pushed forward, my jaw openin
g and my head falling back as the warm, wet heat of her cunt enveloped me. Her p
ain made her tighter and my teeth slammed together as I pulled out only to push
forward harder once again. The chains beat against themselves above us and I lis
tened to the symphony that finally silenced the screaming voices.
It silenced her as well.
While pumping in and out, I taunted her once again.
I notice youre not begging for it now, beautiful.

Chapter Twenty-Seven
~ Eleni ~
My body screamed and my stomach rolled. The whiskey did nothing but make me feel
even sicker than I had all day. His touch was raw and violent, everything Id com
e to expect from him during my time in captivity. Id anticipated the attack every
minute since Id arrived here. But the biggest problem I had at that moment was t
he fact that I was enjoying every second of his violent fuck. I should have hate
d him for it I should have fought; but the biting sting turned me on - the passi
on the dominion, the feel of him stretching me and leaving me empty once again.
Opposites. Pain vs. pleasure anger vs. fear - good vs. evil. In some fucked up w
ay, it was like we were built for this moment. It was a moment in which he broke
me - mind, body and spirit. But it was also a moment where I allowed myself to
be broken giving in, not fighting because I had something to prove. What I didnt
know was that, as he himself gave up to whatever was torturing him; I, too, was
giving up to the demons amongst us both. It was freedom. It was release. It was
the self-abuse Id always wanted to commit but was never brave enough to do openly
The shackles bit hard at my wrists and ankles, but the pain felt so fucking good
. I deserved this because of the type of trash Id allowed myself to become. I liv
ed for nothing in life. Only school, art, and a quick fuck; and now, I was final
ly getting something I deserved. I needed to feel him deep inside me, using me f
or the only thing I was good at.

What soothed me in that moment was the fact that Id previously fought not to give
up. I wasnt as weak as he said. Id tried to run, Id screamed; but I couldnt fight h
im off. I thought he was going to kill me. I thought he would strangle me. I tho
ught I would look into his beautifully broken green eyes while he ended my life.
Instead, I couldnt help but hold onto the chains as his dick slid in and out of
me. I shouldnt have been turned on and any normal person would be completely disg
usted. But I wasnt.
He grunted with each trust as his eyes examined every inch of my body with the m
ost peaceful and serene air about them. He wasnt there at that moment. He was som
eplace far off while his body was piloted by whatever it was inside that drove t
his monster.
Gabriels hand grabbed my ass as he pushed his thick cock deeper inside and his fr
ee hand worked its way up to squeeze my breast. My nipples hardened at his conta
ct and my body began to convulse as his dick rubbed repeatedly against my sweet
spot, deep inside my cunt. Shit. I should hate him. I should hate every touch, e
very bit of pleasure I was getting while he beat and abused my body for his own
personal healing. But I didnt, and that was what made me just as fucked up as him
. I wanted to be fucked. I wanted him.
His hand moved from the tight grip on my ass and pressed between my legs, rollin
g my clit as he entered and exited my pussy with each violent thrust. I tried to
put off my pleasure. I tried to think of anything else but the pure ecstasy tha
t was imminent. But I couldnt. I was too wrapped up into him. I was in too deep.
His pace quickened and my body tightened around him. I tried to muffle my sounds
of pleasure, hoping my crying out wouldnt send him into another fit of rage. But
, I Couldnt. Hold. It. Back.
I cried out as an orgasm washed over my body.
Oh, Shit! The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them.
He ignored me; continuing to pound away as if he had no realization that Id just
climaxed. He wasnt here with me. He wasnt in that moment. It wasnt him taking me be
cause he was somewhere lost in his own violence and lost in his mind. In his eye
s, I could see light and shadow battling over control. Something I knew better t
han most.
Gabriel let out a low moan and pulled his cock from my body, taking it into his
hand and jerking it until his cum coated my stomach. He emptied himself in his o
wn release, his face twisting in realization of everything that just happened. L
ike the lights were turned back on upstairs and he was finally coming home to hi
s body.
With his cock still in his palm, he shook his head and looked down at me. He qui
ckly turned and grabbed something and began to feverishly wipe his cum from my s
kin; meticulously wiping away the evidence of what he did, while I remain chaine
It wasnt long before he freed me. Every muscle in my body ached and I crumbled to
the floor. I couldnt hold my own weight up any longer. I lay on the cold wood, c
ompletely spent from everything that had happened. Balling over myself, I wished
he would just take me back to the room where he previously held me captive. I c
ouldnt bear to look at him or myself for that matter. I wanted to run and hide an
d empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet to try and expel the poison f
rom my body. The same thing he had been doing to me all morning; only to break d
own the same way I would have, if given the opportunity on my own.

His strong arms wrapped around my broken body and picked me up. We were moving,
but I didnt know which way we were going. It was too dark and from this angle, th
ere was nothing illuminating his face. It frightened me because I was unsure why
Gabriel held my body so close. The fear I once felt was back in full force.
Loosening his grip on me, he placed me onto a soft surface, which I could only a
ssume was a bed. Weight shifted and he was gone. I was alone, terror flooding me
again. If he wanted to, he could have killed me. He could have killed me so man
y fuckin times. But, he didnt. I couldnt figure out what he wanted from me, but I k
new after this last episode that he was deeply disturbed. Id seen people like thi
s in my clinical rotations before and realizing that somehow helped calmed the f
ear coursing through my body.
Before that moment he was just a criminal. But after what Id just seen, I realize
d he was someone who needed to be cared for on a deeper level than anyone in his
life had probably ever realized.
A small bedside light illuminated and I could see his outline. The light was dim
and I could barely see anything except for him as he neared me once again. I la
y there naked, and that was when I noticed he still had no pants on. From the wa
ist down, he was completely naked - flaccid cock and all. He sat on the edge of
the bed and put his head in his hands which was when the unexpected happened.
Eleni, Ive never said this to a single soul, he paused as if he was in pain; but on
ly for a slight moment before he continued whatever he had to say. Im sorry. His wo
rds were hurried, as if he needed to say them before he lost the strength to do
He wasnt the same man that was here moments ago. He wasnt the same person who had
taunted me and abused me. Was this the real Gabriel outside of the control of hi
s demons?
I didnt speak, but I nodded in understanding. I wouldnt tell him how much I truly
understood what he was battling. I could never reveal that to him.
His body moved up until he is hovering over me again. I wasnt afraid of him. I wa
snt worried about what he could do; because the truth was that I wanted him to to
uch me again. I wanted to feel him. I needed to feel him pound into me again jus
t so I could keep my own fuckin sanity. So, my mind stayed quiet as the intoxicat
ion began to take me. Just like the laundry list of men in my past; once alcohol
was involved, I needed sex to keep the pain of my life at bay.
Gabriels hands parted my legs and his fingers traced their way up my thighs until
his mouth was only inches away from my wet cunt. I could feel his breath on my
skin and it took everything in me not to grab him by the hair and push his face
into my cunt. I wouldnt touch him. I couldnt touch him. I wouldnt make that mistake
again; even if I wanted to with everything I was.
A moan slipped from my lips; his heat caressing my wet and waiting pussy.
He didnt ask permission and he didnt need to. I realized the helplessness of my si
tuation and I feared the pain that came with his anger. I fought back before and
I was chained. I said nothing and he still took what he wanted, but he did so w
ithout abusing me. It was a quick realization and I wondered if it was one that
would save my life.
My legs twitched as each movement of his tongue brought me even more pleasure th
an the last. He sucked on my clit and pressed his tongue into my vagina. It felt
good and I lost myself in the sensation he was forcing through me. It mixed wit

h the alcohol and I held my breath, allowing euphoria to wash over me and take m
e to a place where I was safe. Letting out a growl, he pulled his mouth away fro
m my cunt, leaving me disappointed and waiting for another orgasm.
His body hovered over me and when I opened my eyes, I could see his rock hard co
ck in his hand again. He was watching me, stroking his dick, and glancing at my
body like it was nothing more than a prized possession, incapable of anything bu
t giving him what he demanded.
Slowly, his cock pushed inside me and I realized that after everything wed been t
hrough thus far, there was one thing hed never done. Hed never kissed me, and I di
dnt think he ever would.

Chapter Twenty-Eight
I left her in the guest bedroom that night. She slept while I stood over her, a
shadow that watched over a dreamer a man that finally found the way to purge his
own demons. My eyes were closed as I listened to her breathe deeply and a new p
lan developed in my mind that would forever chase away the pain and torment of t
he prison that held me.
A week has passed since the initial night that I took her mind and her body. Id d
one horrible things to her. Id made her feel less.
I had a cage fashioned long before I captured her, one that took up a quarter of
the basement. I cant say I didnt see this eventuality, and Id even prepared. Id jus
t never made the decisions to actually do it. Before I held her, it was all a bi
g fantasy.
A fantasy that became real.
I was glad I had the foresight to see to every detail. But I wasnt always as prou
d of myself as I was at this moment.
After grabbing her, and after bringing her to my home where I could hide her awa
y for no other man to see, Id panicked initially. Id felt immoral and cruel, made
up some bullshit excuse that I would help cure her when all I wanted to do was hur
t her. It was all a ruse and it was one that not only fooled her, but me as well
It was my fight against myself that caused that momentary weakness, but I let go
and let them rule me that weakness would never happen again. I was free, I was f
loating, and I wouldnt go back to the torture of controlling myself. I didnt have
to because I could control her.
* * *
Stand up, Eleni. Ive come to see you.
Her blue eyes fluttered open, the dark fan of her lashes battering like the wing
s of a butterfly. For a second, she smiled; but it quickly faded once her gaze f
ocused on me. The haze of sleep lifted and fear took over. She pushed the blanke

t away from her naked body and stood up on the mattress that was the floor of he
r cage.
I dont know why youre looking at me like that. I havent hurt you since youve learned
to behave.
She didnt respond she wouldnt. Ever since Id given into my urges, shed only spoken w
hen directly questioned. She fell into place so quickly. I was shocked and disap
pointed to see the fight leave her as easily as it had.
Are you afraid of me, Eleni?
So weak, her voice was barely a whisper. I nodded my head in response not wantin
g to speak and hint to the fact that I enjoyed her response by the sound of my v
I allowed silence to lay over us like a thick blanket watched the perspiration s
himmer over her body as her muscles quivered with her fear. It was enticing and
my blood pounded through my veins, awakening parts of me that would soon be in h
Walk behind me. Im going to
e out which you like more; to
er chin between my finger and
y doesnt matter because its

let you choose the restraints today. I can never figur

be standing, suspended the bench maybe? I gripped h
thumb and tilted her wide eyes up to me. It actuall
up to my preference anyway, but today Im feeling genero

I smiled at her and her eyes moved to look at the room over my shoulder. She clo
sed them momentarily, but a small grin appeared over her full lips when she open
ed them again.
The bench.
My smile brightened.
Because its a deeper fuck. It pleases you more.
My eyes widened at her words, but I knew she was playing a game. I didnt mind her
rebellion always lit a fire that the violence helped contain.
She was the perfect drug. With her beneath me, I could perform the demented acts
that were whispered to me daily. I could release my anger on her. I could keep
my head clear for at least several fucking hours of the day. I felt like I could
function again; and she was the one who gave that to me.
The bench it is.
I turned to walk to the black leather bench to which Id often tied her. Stepping
off to the side, I allowed her to kneel down on the lower knee rest and bend her
body over the long padded rectangular surface. She gripped onto the wooden hand
les at the bottom of the bench and I set to work securing her in place.
Mouth or Cunt, Eleni?
I saw her body shake as if she was crying. But I knew she wasnt fully upset. She
cried because her mind told her to fight while she knew she was powerless agains

t me. But, her body that was a different story altogether.

She was responsive so fucking responsive. My hands against her skin, my cock ins
ide her body my tongue across her mouth; it didnt matter. She would push against
me, invite the touch then she would beg me or more. It was unreal. She was the p
erfect vehicle for my abuse because the harder I rode her; the more it turned he
r on.
Running my hand down her spine, I watched as her skin prickled from the touch of
my fingers. Finding the crack of her ass, I slowed down, putting pressure on th
at small opening for a moment before finally slipping down into the wet skin, re
ady and waiting for my cock.
Youre so wet, my beautiful girl. I slowly slipped a finger inside her. Have you been
missing me?
She moaned in response, her hips bucking up against my hand and I hissed in a br
eath at the sheer beauty of it. Pumping my hand in and out, I reached around and
pushed my other hand between her breast and the bench. I squeezed the nipple be
tween my fingers and brought my mouth down to the center of her back, softly kis
sing up her spine.
Cunt. I want you in my cunt.
I chuckled and wished I could see the grimace I knew existed on her face as a re
sult of it.
In that case, Ill take your mouth. Its something you want and Im done being generous
Pulling my hand free, I straightened my posture
uld. She yelped in pain, but settled again, her
excitement that ran through her body. I rubbed
ass and I smiled at the beautiful color of her

then slapped her as hard as I co

back moving frantically from the
my hand over the red mark on her

Rounding the bench, I stood so that I was facing her, bending down so I could st
are into her eyes. Tears fell down her cheeks and she moved to look away, but I
grabbed her face and forced her back to mine.
Why are you crying?
Because I hate you.
I laughed. You dont hate it when I fuck you.
She diverted her eyes and I allowed her the small indiscretion. After a tense fe
w moments of silence, she quietly added, Thats because I hate myself.

Chapter Twenty-Nine
~ Eleni ~
I hated him. I hated myself. I hated my life.

The voices were louder than ever and there was nothing I could do about it becau
se Id finally figured out what I needed to do to survive. I listened, I obeyed, a
nd I let him have his way with me; let him battle his demons while he ravaged me
day in and day out.
But what I hated the most was the fact that my body loved every minute of his to
uch. It responded on its own and the voices encouraged it; telling me that this
was right, this was what I wanted.
His dick pressed against my lips and I willingly opened for him. I knew if I did
nt accept him there would be hell to pay. A new black eye, a new cracked rib, or
worse. My tongue swirled around the head of his cock and he let out a groan.
Thats my good girl, Eleni. I love your mouth on my cock. I blinked rapidly trying t
o push away the tears that were flooding my eyes again. No matter how much I tri
ed to push away the thought of everything he had done to me, I wanted to do this
for him. I wanted this to be good for him, and I wanted the reward in the end;
him getting off down my throat and forcing me to swallow every last drop. And ma
ybe, just maybe if I did, he would return the favor. My cunt throbbed at the mere
thought of his mouth lapping my sweet juices.
His dick pushed to the back of my throat and I took every inch he gave with no c
omplaint - no gagging - because that made him mad. Id become an expert in deep th
roating simply because I had no other choice. But the sexual training was a turn
on, it always had been; long before Gabriel had set his sights on me.
Each day had been the same. He pressed me about my life, my past, finding a way
to make me cry; forcing me to open up about my painful past just to break me dow
n. He broke my soul and he broke my spirit. Once I crumbled, he moved in to comf
ort me in the only way I knew. For him it was about power, for me it was about t
he idea that someone loved me enough to touch me in a sexual manner. I knew sex
wasnt about love, but it was the closest Id ever come to it, or ever would. I was
deluded and foolish to think this was about anything more than sexual gratificat
ion. But, the one quiet voice of the pack told me to believe something good woul
d come of all of it.
I was trying to believe her.
Eleni, this mouth of yours He trailed off trying to force a compliment, but I knew
it is impossible for him. In my own mind, I would come up with something that wo
uld keep me going for the next couple days. Something nice, pleasant, something
that would give me hope to believe he wasnt going to kill me that night.
I let out a moan as my mouth was still tightly wrapped around his dick, squirmin
g as I was still attached to the bench. I needed some kind of relief and when I
felt Gabriels balls slowly start to draw upward, I knew it wouldnt be long until m
y mouth had completed its job of getting him off. I would be rewarded with his l
oad. I deep throated his cock one last time as his fingers laced through my hair
and pulled my mouth to the base of his cock as he unloaded down my throat. His
grunts filled the air in the empty room and I knew Id done exactly what he wanted
Because, at that moment, I was his Good Girl.
He slowly withdrew his cock from my mouth, taking it in his hand and slowly bega
n stroking it to life once again. I knew what was coming next. It was my turn. H
e would reward me for doing as he asked. I never gave into the urge to bite his
dick like my voices had cheered me on to do. They always wanted me to defy him.
Put my own life in jeopardy. Assholes.

Now its your turn, Eleni. He rounded my waiting body, still restrained, just the wa
y he liked it. No fear of me touching him. No worry of me having the slightest b
it of control. No matter when he fucked me, it was always this way. I dreamt of
a time when I would be able to have my hands free; to run them down his back and
grab his sculpted ass as he slammed into me. I wanted to run my fingers through
his dark hair and kiss and suckle up and down his neck as I came all over his t
hrobbing cock.
I shook my head at the thoughts. They were wrong. They werent what he wanted.
What are you thinking, beautiful? I could never tell him. He wouldnt allow it. He w
ould punish me for the mere thought of defying him. I shook my head and tried to
leave it at that, hoping he would accept that for an answer; but as usual, he d
idnt. I should have known better than to get caught up in my own delusions.
My voice was quiet when I confessed, I was thinking about touching you.
The crack of his hand across my face was painful. But I wanted more. I wasnt scar
ed of his pain anymore; at least that was what I tried to tell myself.
How would you touch me, Eleni? he asked.
He was baiting me, He was so confusing - hot and cold always so hot and fucking
It was impossible to read him, which is why I stopped trying to a week before. H
is hand grabbed my jaw and he spoke slowly as his eyes held mine hostage. I asked
you a question little girl, and I will know if you are fucking lying to me. Be
a Good Girl and tell me how you would like to touch me.
I was thinking about kissing you; licking you as you make me come. Grabbing your
ass as you slam into my cunt. I just want to feel you Gabriel. He smiled at me, t
hat wicked smile Id come to be afraid of; and, at that moment, I knew Id fucked up
Oh, my beautiful Eleni, you are going to feel me.
He moved back around me, and without any foreplay, he slammed into me. Most days
he took his time licking my cunt before shoving himself inside. I thought he ha
d an obsession with it; but at this stage of the game, I had no idea why he did
what he did.
He slammed in and pulled out again. He repeated this as I screamed from the pain
mixed with pleasure. He wasnt gentle as he took me. His hands squeezed my ass as
he continued his painful pace.
You feel that, Eleni? Is that feeling enough for you? I cringed at his words. I sh
ould have never told him what I was thinking; but he would have known if I lied.
I tried to push my own feelings away, but the faster he pumped me, the closer I
came to my own orgasm. My body was a traitor. No matter how much I shouldnt have
want this with him, I wanted it anyway. I wanted every fucking second of his abu
se. I wanted to feel him fuck me until I couldnt walk.
His pace slowed and he jerked in place; his hot seed flooding into my cunt for t
he first time.
How was that, beautiful? Did you get what you wanted? He chuckled as he pulled him
self free. I guarantee you that youll feel that all damn day.

Chapter Thirty
~ Gabriel ~
Unstrapping her from the bench, I chuckled when I watched her stumble off, barel
y able to move due to the pain between her legs. She amused me in so many ways,
a toy for me to play with a puzzle for me to figure out.
I didnt mean to hurt her and, most times, I attempted to keep from marking her fo
r the sole purpose of keeping her beautiful for my eyes. An ornament or trophy a
woman that Id plucked from the streets after learning everything I could about h
er. She owed me this because she was part of what ruined my life to begin with.
Stand up. I dont have the fucking time for your histrionics. Youre stronger than th
at, beautiful girl.
Her eyes peeked up at me from beneath her lashes, but she pushed up grimacing as
she brought her legs together.
Be careful what you wish for; you may just get what youre after.
I smiled and she swallowed hard before weakly returning the gesture.
What do you say, Eleni?
Thank you. Her voice cracked and I stepped towards her, grabbing her face by her c
hin and angling her face to look directly at me.
Thank you for what?
For making me feel good. For rewarding me for being good.
A wicked grin spread across my lips and I allowed the tip of my tongue to roll a
long the soft skin, before finally asking, Are you ready to discover more about y
ourself today?
Tears welled in her eyes and I knew that stripping her for my amusement was crue
l; but, with my help, shed remained sober and with hers, Id remained sane.
Hesitantly, she replied. Yes.
Walk behind me then. I have a special surprise. One I think you will enjoy. Im act
ually glad that you said you wanted to feel me. I want you to feel me too.
After we moved out of the room and down the hallway, I led her to the stairs tha
t climbed to the second and third floors. She moved slowly because she was newly
fucked and I reduced my pace to accommodate her. I wanted her attached, I wante
d her helpless, but I didnt want her completely broken. To do so would make this
part of the game boring it would reduce her to nothing more than an automated ob
ject that was programmed to say and feel everything that I wanted. Every once in
a while, I enjoyed seeing the fight still in her. It turned me on to see streng
th still hidden away; peeking out when Id pushed her too far.
Tell me about what you were going to school for, Eleni.

She was quiet for a few seconds and I glanced behind me to see why shed not respo
nded. Her eyes widened when she noticed Id looked and she quickly spoke in order
to appease my curiosity.
I I was going to college for art therapy.
You like art?
Because it heals. In a round about way, it helps those that cant express themselve
s because of some affliction be it mental or physical or it helps brings things
out of people that they may not know exists. Sometimes, by looking at a piece of
art its like you can see through it into the artists soul; kind of like a window.
Give me an example. Im not sure I know what you mean. I knew exactly what she meant
, but I was interested to see the artist she would choose to use as an example.
She was silent as she thought and I granted her the few minutes she needed to co
me up with someone to use in order to prove her belief.
Okaytake Jackson Pollock, for instance. And Im going by what I was taught in class,
so dont take this as absolute factmost of it is conjecture anyway. I mean, who ca
n really say what art means when seen from a subjective standpoint
Youre rambling, Eleni. Focus on what it is you want to say and show me how intelli
gent you can be.
I turned suddenly, slipping my hand over her neck and squeezing just enough to f
righten and warn her at the same time. You know I like things to be straight and
to the point. I dont have time for your musings.
She nodded, swallowing hard so that her throat worked against the palm of my han
I released her and turned to continue our walk, listening to what she had to say
Pollock was an alcoholic
I chuckled at the irony, but waved her on to continue.
She breathed out a deep sigh and continued.
He was an abstract painter and
a canvas down on the floor and
o so in a way that it resembled
dinary to say the least, but it
my attention.

his method was anything but ordinary. He would lay

hurl paint at it; yet, somehow, he was able to d
mathematical fractals chaos. His work is extraor
was what he said about how he painted that drew

My silence was all it took for her to continue talking.

He didnt remember painting the work, so to me at least it seemed like it was his s
oul being poured out in those moments, the chaos inside him being given an outle
t for release. It didnt save him and his alcoholism eventually led to the car acc
ident that killed him

I flinched at her mention of the accident. I was familiar with Pollock, familiar
with the similarity between his demise and that of the people who killed by fam
ily; but, having pushed those thoughts away, the sudden reminder was enough to s
hock my system.
She knows. She mocks you. She only laughs
I breathed in a steadying breath, concerned that the silence Id enjoyed for so ma
ny days had suddenly been disturbed.
Stop talking, Eleni.
But I wasnt done
Her scream as she fell back down the stairs took me by surprise and I looked dow
n at my outstretched arm not remembering exactly how hard Id struck her.
Dammit, Eleni. Why the fuck did you have to keep talking? My statement came out on
a growl and every muscle in my body tensed. I felt like a fucking monster, beat
ing on this girl and then taking the pleasure from her body afterwards.
I couldnt focus on those feelings; they would only bring back the nightmare of wh
ispers and screams that I was trying to escape. After blaming her for the abuse,
I shrugged and understood that her pain had been worth it when the silence in m
y head returned.
Pick yourself up, Eleni, and it would be in your best interests to remember that
when I tell you to stop talking, you better shut that pretty little mouth of you
She pushed up from the floor and I noticed the gash on her forehead small drops
of blood dripping down to land on her cheeks and chest. She moved her hand to ru
b at it, pulling it away to see the stain of pink before standing on her feet an
d walking back up the stairs.
I looked over the wound, noticing that it wasnt deep enough to have caused any lo
ng-term damage. Well that was actually fucking convenient, considering what we ar
e about to do.
Her question as to what I was talking about was hidden within her eyes, but she
didnt dare voice it.
Walking her into the studio on the far end of the hall, I moved aside to let her
enter first. I didnt want to block her view and deprive her of the full effect o
f the room. Her eyes widened and her jaw opened when she saw the numerous painti
ngs hung on the walls. Her eyes scanned the room and studied the illustrations o
f the human body that covered the room. An arm here, a leg there the contours of
a mans back the profile of his face it was all there.
Its you.
I nodded, pleased that she picked up on the fact that it was my body that hung b
efore her. Every deep scar that Id not had covered every reminder of my pain that
she hadnt yet seen.
Stand there.
She remained still where Id left her as I slowly approached the front of the room
. Taking my place in front of one of my favorite pieces, I turned to look at her
staring her down until my eyes could catch the slight tremble of her body. Anti

cipation was a wonderful thing. It could make the experience that much more plea
sureful from having been made to wait.
Reaching up, I grabbed the top button of my shirt between my hands and I slowly
unbuttoned as I moved down. Once free, I pulled the shirt from my body and watch
ed her jaw drop to see my skin.
Not every inch of me was covered in ink, but the majority was. For every scar th
at marred my skin, there was a design. Mostly black, the lines cut up into sharp
angles in some places and down into sweeping arcs in others. You could stare at
the designs for hours and not pick out the all of the intricate details in that
time I knew this because Id often looked into the mirror to see what Id become. E
ach time the line crossed, it created another pattern another shape. In every wi
dth and length that flowed over my body with small accents of circles or stars,
it was like looking at the branches of a barren tree, peeking through to see the
sky above.
This is my art, Eleni. Every picture you see is my soul pouring out; the scars th
at ruined my skin, the nightmare of my past that will never leave me. Everything
that I hold inside that keeps me distant from the world around me!
My voice boomed through the room and she cowered at the anger that dripped from
my words.
You said you wanted to feel me and I will finally give you that chance. I gave yo
u a rule, beautiful, one that would keep you safe; and as usual, you chose to di
sobey it. The first time led to you being thrown from the bed to the floor. The
second led to me finally giving into everything I wanted to do to you. And the t

tsked and slowly shook my head to convey my disappointment. The third will be th
worst of all. The punishment escalates for each infraction and even the though
of disobeying me will NOT be tolerated. I make the rules to protect you its you
choice whether you are going listen.

Her eyes blinked once and then twice and her hands moved from the sides of her b
ody to be placed together in front of her. She was no longer trying to cover her
naked body from me but I always noticed that when she was afraid, there was a s
ubtle alteration to her body language. She wasnt attempting to hide her naked ski
n she was attempted to hide her fear.
And her fear would never be something she could hide from me.
Theres a desk to your right, do me a favor and open the drawer. My voice had grown
deathly calm, her eyes widening to know that it was anger that drove me but some
thing darker, more deadly than my rage could ever allow.
She did as I said and I continued. Inside that drawer you will find a scalpel. I
want you to pull it out.
Her hand hesitated, reaching for the drawer and then pulling back slightly befor
e she could touch the cold bite of the metal instrument.
Grab it, Eleni. You dont want me to have to grab it for you.
Her hand finally reached in and balled around the scalpels handle. She pulled it
out slowly and moved back to the place where she stood before.
Good Girl. Now, let me explain. I stared into her eyes, making sure that her atten
tion was on me before I spoke again. When she stopped shifting, I began.

If you were to touch me, you would find scars, Eleni; scars that were left on me
by some very bad people. They were drug addicts alcoholics and they decided to g
et behind the wheel of their car one day, crossing the median and destroying eve
rything I loved and my entire life that followed. I hated them, Eleni, just as I
hate you. When I watched you online saw the posts of your drunk ass flaunted in
every bar in town, I wondered how long it would be before you took the lives of
people as well. Thats the thing with addictions it doesnt matter who you hurt as
long as you feed the demons.
Her eyes widened and recognition finally started to fill in behind the blue.
Yes, beautiful. Thats part of the reason I was drawn to you in the first place. Th
eres more, I promise you, but thats an entirely different subject. For now, were di
scussing why you are NOT to touch me or even think you want to.
Holding out my arm, I pointed out a large gash where parts of the back passenger
window had sliced open my skin. Pointing it out, I looked at her and smiled.
Do you want to know what this scar feels like? Because youre about to.
Her head shook subtly, her mind finally realizing what I was about to make her d
I want you to have the same scar, beautiful. Use the scalpel be careful not to cu
t too deep. Then, you will get your wish. You wanted to feel me to touch me to k
now me fine. Now, youll get your chance.

Chapter Thirty-One
~ Eleni ~
The simple thought that he would command me to pick up a scalpel is idiotic on h
is part. I could stab him. Slice his throat in one simple move, and the thought
continued to cross my mind until I realized he could snap my neck like a fucking
twig. It would be a stupid move on my part, and completely ensure my demise. I
bounced back and forth with my plan of attack, deciding it would be nothing but
I couldnt help but take in every little detail of his body; the muscles most of a
ll. Each tattoo may cover scarred skin, but the body below it was nothing more t
han a work of art. A Greek God of a sculpture. Something women wished they could
have and keep for their own. His self-conscious nature screamed through in ever
y action though. Even if I could only tell him how beautiful he truly was, I did
nt think he would believe me. He would never give me the time to cherish him the
way he deserved.
He may have been a monster, but the demons were justified. After learning what h
appened to him, it all almost made perfect sense.
I felt guilty listening to his words because they hit far too close to home. He
was right about everything, about the person I was until he took me. I would hav
e repeated history and taken out an innocent family if he didnt step in. It was m
y fate, but he changed that.

In his own fucked up way he was saving me, and saving whomever I would have hurt
in the process.
What are you thinking, Eleni? Tell me. He interrupted my thoughts, but it was good
because I knew these were musings I needed to release. They were eating me aliv
Youre right, Gabriel. I would have hurt someone. My actions were selfish. All I wa
nted was for the voices to shut the fuck up. They taunted me for years, never le
tting me sleep or study without their constant screaming. The alcohol shut them
up. It always made them quiet, even if it was just an hour or two of fucking pea
ce and quiet. It was all that worked. My hand gripped the scalpel tighter. The sh
iny metal flashed with a hint of sunlight exposed through a small crack on the f
ar side of the room.
I pressed the scalpel to my arm and slowly began to slice. It was exactly what h
e wanted. The voices screamed as the blood began to seep from my arm; but the pa
in was freeing. The look on his face was pleasure and I knew Id finally pleased h
im on a level he could never take away from me.
I only want to please you Gabriel. You saved me and I can only hope I will save y
ou from whatever plagues you. He didnt realize it, but I knew how indebted to him
I was. I owed him. I will be your Good Girl, but Gabriel I paused and waited for hi
s eyes to leave the blood coming from my arm and meet my eyes.
What will you be to me?
He stood on the other side of the room with a smile pulling at the corners of hi
s mouth. I would never make the mistake again of trying to judge his moods based
on his expressions. He was unpredictable at best. Taking a few steps across the
room, he eliminated the space between us. Gabriel ran his fingers through the s
teady stream of blood coming from my arm before sucking it off of his finger.
Eleni, my love, you seem to forget whos in charge here. Ill be whatever I want to b
e, and you will continue to be my Good Girl. That is how it works. Get it?
I nod and take in his words.
He breathed out a deep sigh, his eyes flicking to the wound on my arm before he
dodged around me, walking towards the door. Follow me, well get you bandaged up. B
ut know that your actions have pleased me, Eleni.
I glanced at his face and despite his words that he was happy, I saw a look of d
ispleasure on his face - sadness even. Nothing of the smile that adorned his fac
e from mere moments ago was left. He was grim, bordering scary once again. But,
I followed without question because I knew it was the only option I had. Id given
myself to him, Id promised to be his Good Girl, and now I needed to follow throu
gh with my own promises.
He held my arm and guided me down the stairs, step-by-step, ensuring my safety.
I couldve laughed at the gesture, but I didnt. The menacing voices taunted me. The
y told me he would throw me down the stairs again.
PUSH HIM! Save yourself Eleni, he is only going to hurt you
However, Id learned to ignore them since Id been in his possession.
I prayed for a moment that the peaceful voice would come back to visit me again;
guide me through the good, save me from myself, be the conscience I never had.

Without that voice, I was sure I would have been dead by now.
Sit, he commands, and I obey. Moments later he returned with a first aid kit and c
ontinued to bandage the damage I caused to myself. I couldnt say Id ever been a cu
tter, although I was sure it would have been far easier than drowning my demons
in the alcohol Id consumed over the years. The tattoos I used to mask my body wou
ld have covered up my own damage until I started to cut the areas already beauti
fied by artificial means. I guessed that no matter what I did, I would always be
fucked in some way; because of them.
His hands moved swiftly but gently; something I was not used to from him at all.
His touch was always rough, so Id come to expect it. As I savored his kindness,
I thought about everything he told me. All the words he spoke. The terror he wen
t through in his accident. His loss at such a young age. The demons he clearly c
ontinued to battle against. We were so much alike and so different at the same t
ime. I wished I couldve protected him from everything that made him a victim. No
person deserved that kind of trauma. It explained the monster that hed become.
As he taped the bandages in place, he said one last thing before sending me on m
y way into my prison.
His voice was quiet and his eyes refused to meet mine.
I dont want to be this monster, Eleni, but I have no choice.

Chapter Thirty-Two
~ Gabriel ~
The metal of the cage door slammed shut against the opening and I quickly locked
it before turning to leave the room. I couldnt stand to look her, to see how far
Id pushed her.
I never intended to make her cut herself Id initially only wanted to scare her, b
ut something about watching that scalpel slice across someone elses skin - it aff
ected me. I expected her to object, to cry or scream or fucking do something! Bu
t instead, and in one swift move, she ran that blade across her skin and I got l
ost in the crimson trail that leaked out over her inked skin.
So I didnt stop her. I wanted more.
Poison ran from that wound mine and hers. She didnt mind the scar didnt care that
she was permanently marking her body in a way that kept me hidden for years. The
cut she inflicted on her body matched mine her pain matched mine. She just didnt
know it.
But even then, it didnt cut deep enough. It didnt leave her wounded to a point of
never being able to stand the sun on her skin. It didnt leave her isolated and al
one cast out and imprisoned damaged beyond any recognizable solace.
I wanted her to be that damaged, the same type of damaged that I was. I wanted h
er to suffer because of how she caused me to suffer. She was a symbol of my pain
, a direct link to my torment and an example of everything I would never be.

I wanted her broken because I was broken.

Fuck fixing her, fuck keeping the light inside of her alive. She didnt want to sa
ve herself and I didnt want to save her. Id dragged her into my hell, Id lorded ove
r her fucking body and mind, and I was going to keep her there, trapped behind t
he same fucking walls that had trapped me since the day I was scarred by the act
ions of people just like Eleni.
Looking down, I noticed Id never buttoned my shirt after the display in the studi
o. The lines of ink seemed angrier somehow, swirling and cutting across my scarr
ed skin a physical reminder of the ugliness that lay beneath. My hands curled in
to fists and my head pounded with the rush of blood through my system. I didnt kn
ow why the anger was surfacing. Id humiliated her, Id hurt her, Id beat her and Ive
made her bleed but yet, it wasnt enough.
Even though the demands had ended the relentless whispers and musings of a demon
inside me I still couldnt find peace. It was a vise that gripped every inch of m
y skin, that bruised the muscles beneath and shattered the bones that lie inside
. I realize suddenly that the pain Id carried, the reclusiveness and hate it was
there whether the demons were quiet or not.
And I think thats when I became angrier.
Thats when I became resentful.
And thats when I Finally. Fucking. Snapped.
Any shred of decency I had left bled out from
s my skin. I stole her to teach her a lesson.
the result I was left with was that doing so
asp on sanity weaker, and my desire to punish

the slice that epiphany made acros

I abused her to quiet my mind. But
only made my problems worse, my gr
grow exponentially.

Finally dropping any ounce of empathy or remorse was like shedding a set of clot
hes that had aged to a point of being nothing more than a bunch of thread annoyi
ng and restricting.
I wanted to hurt her. I wanted her to know why I was hurting her. I wanted her t
o carry the veil of shame that Id lived with most of my life. I wanted her to fee
l the loss I suffered and I wanted to make her see how ugly shed become to me.
A smile crept over my face when instead of hearing insults and demands made by t
he voices that had plagued me for so long, I heard words of acceptance - words o
f encouragement. My head was no longer silent; but, for once, I could agree with
what was being said. A strange pride blossomed inside me and I felt stronger.
My grip with reality was lost in that moment. I stared blankly at a wall. I sat
motionless and silent. I allowed my mind to spin into a controlled chaos, a quie
t storm that allowed me to think more clearly to plot not only the destruction o
f Eleni, but of myself. Id slipped to a point where I knew that after punishing h
er, Id have no other reason to stay locked in the scarred prison of my body. It w
ould be both of us eventually, but it would be her first. I wanted to be there t
o laugh as she took her last breath to remind her before she died that she was n
othing more than a whore. I wanted to make sure that there wouldnt be another min
ute she had left on this Earth that contained hope or joy. Eleni hadnt died yet b
ut shed already gone to Hell.

Chapter Thirty-Three
~ Eleni ~
The door of my cage slammed shut, and
t. I could relax for a moment knowing
ed these moments because, even though
I could relax until sleep gripped me

he disappeared into the house for the nigh

he wouldnt be back for me tonight. I relish
the voices would never give me true peace,
and the nightmares returned.

The nightmares were day and night. I could never escape them. I lived day in and
day out with the nightmare of what Gabriel was doing. The nights were filled wi
th the nightmare I called a life before he stole me. It slowly all became a two
sided game. For him, it was a game of how far he could break me down; and he had
truly accomplished a great deal of hurt. But, it was also a game of survival. L
ittle did Gabriel realize, Id lived through a lot of bullshit in my life and if h
e thought I was going to let him be my demise, he was fuckin delusional. I chuckl
ed to myself at my words because the fact of the matter was that delusional would
be too sane a term to describe the deep psychosis he suffered from.
The more time I spent with him, the more his disease became clear. But I would n
ever let him know. I would play my part of his good girl and take whatever he ga
ve me. And I would never forget he wouldnt allow me to forget that the sex was fu
cking perfect. It was like an added bonus to this whole ordeal. He wasnt a bad lo
oking guy, he just has a couple screws loose. But dont we all?
I laughed again, because I knew I was truly fucked up. Anyone else in this situa
tion would continue to cringe and fight; but instead of becoming a victim, the t
itle I have donned my entire life I would finally fight back. I just needed to fi
gure out how.
His footsteps became louder and I knew he was coming back for me tonight. The co
nfusion set in, and this time, I truly didnt know what to expect from him. My arm
throbbed under the bandages, a continuous reminder of the sheer insanity this m
an was driving me towards.
Eleni, you deserve everything he does to you. Youre a whore. Youll never amount to
anything in life
They continued to taunt me inwardly as the cage door swung open and Gabriel stoo
d before me with a look of calm about him.
It was eerie how calm he was. Id never once seen his moods this dormant - this re
laxed - and that made me even more cautious. As always, I addressed him.
Without a single word, he made quick strides across the room until his hands fis
ted chunks of my hair; no words, no emotions, just actions. My body fell like a
rag doll, going limp for the journey I knew we were about to take; always draggi
ng me when he decided to pull on my hair. I shouldnt like the violent tugs, but s
omething about it turned me on. I let out a blood-curdling scream to play along
with his game. The less of a reaction he got, the more violent he became. It was
always like that. My legs kicked as he continued dragging me and I tried to fig
ht for my freedom - to get away from his strong grasp.
We quickly traveled through a portion of the house Id never seen because my freed
om was always greatly limited. I knew I should be afraid of what would come next
; but after what he made me do in his art room, how much worse could it really g

et? He stopped quickly and freed one

door opened, he tossed me like a rag
a large oak desk - my head cracking
my entire body, but it was going to

hand from my hair to unlock a door. As the

doll across the floor. My body crashed into
against the side. The pain vibrated through
take more to get me down.

Fuck I mutter under my breath. I gasped when I realized the words actually escaped
; but thankfully, Gabriel didnt hear. His hands pulled me up from the floor and p
lanted me in a fancy leather chair; something that reminded me of my shitty ther
apists office. That dumb old bitch. The memories made my stomach roll and I tried
to hold back the bile rising in my throat.
CRACK! His hand slammed against my face, slapping me and snapping me from my tho
ughts. Fuck that hurt. I wanted to spit on him. It was my first reaction, but I
was sure I would never survive that transgression. I could feel blood beginning
to seep from my bottom lip as he sat in a chair across from me - relaxed without
a care in the world.
It was in that moment that I realized how insane hed become. It was as if hed been
holding onto a ledge before, but his hands had finally slipped free, allowing h
im to free-fall into the darkness below. The sanity behind his eyes was almost c
ompletely vacant. In the past, I could see his body tense or a hint of remorse f
or his actions; but now that was completely gone. This was it. He was finally go
ing to kill me - end me once and for all, because there was no strand of conscie
nce left in there.
My blood pounded through my head and my mind continued to race. My eyes darted a
round the room, desperate for an exit strategy, a way to escape from him. It was
now or never because I was certain if he had his way with me tonight, I would n
ever be free.
A flick of light caught my attention, only a few feet away; the shiny metal taun
ting me, sitting just out of my reach. A letter opener was on the desk, begging
me to grab it and stab Gabriel in the neck; end him before he had the chance to
end me. I could envision his body lying lifeless on the floor of the office and
the voices screamed at me to do it. End him before he ends me.
Do it Eleni! Hes going to kill you
They laughed and taunted me. I shook the thought from my head and turned my atte
ntion back to Gabriel. He sat motionless in his chair. His vision caught on some
thing in the corner of the room. I couldnt make out what he focused his attention
on, but this was the only chance I had. He was lost in outer space and it was t
ime for me to finally make my move.
Freedom was so fuckin close, I could taste it.
I lunged for the letter opener, but before I could reach it, his body blanketed
mine; pressing me into the desk as his hand circled my neck. He slowly choked me
with a smile on his face. He laughed as I begin to gasp for air.
Think Eleni, fuckin think! I searched my mind for some way - any way - to get the
fuck out of this situation. I had no one to blame but myself for making this mo
ve and I was sure he would never let me get away with it. The only thing that wa
s ever able to calm Gabriel was sex; and as the room began to get fuzzy, my visi
on started to go black. I mustered all the strength in my dying body to push my
ass back against his already hard cock.
I ground against him and noticed his instant reaction. I didnt stop. I continued
trying to seduce him as his erection grew harder under his tight dress slacks.

Youre such a whore, Eleni. You want to fuck one last time before I kill you? He gro
wled in my ear and I struggled to think of a proper response to him.
I want you inside me, Gabriel. My voice was choked and broken as I gasped for air.
I was honest and I was baiting him all at the same time. I guess that made me a
whore, but it was the last chance I had to plead for my own life. If he decided
to still end me, at least I was going to go out with a fuckin bang, right?
With my body still pressed against the large wooden desk, he freed his erection
from his pants and violently slammed into me from behind. I screamed when he ent
ered me. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain, just how I liked it. I was a sic
k woman, just as he was a sick man. I needed just as much help as he did. My cri
es turned into moans as he continued to fuck me, throwing his head back and givi
ng himself over to the pleasure.
My body tightened around his throbbing cock as I reached my climax. I could feel
him flood my cunt with his own release. I took in a sharp breath and silently p
rayed that whatever it was I just did wasnt going to cost me my life anymore.

Chapter Thirty-Four
~ Gabriel ~
What I appreciated most about her body was the fact that she was always ready to
go. No matter what Id done, no matter how far Id pushed her, no matter the poison
of hate, or shame, or fear or pain her body responded like nothing Id ever known
before. It was better than the drunk and sloppy sluts in the dark alleyways the
ones I fucked in shadows so they would never see my scars. Quick and up against
a wall would never compare to the feel of Eleni beneath me. Her cunt fit so per
fectly around the width of my cock. It was like a sheath designed specifically f
or me with all the heat and grip that I could ever desire. The more it hurt, the
tighter she became and I inwardly lamented the fact that this would be the last
time Id enjoy her. We were both careening towards an end to a point of no return
, where our blood would mix as our last breaths were released.
But it would be her first so that I could remind her why she had to die.
Did I feel bad about what I had to do? No. To put it simply, itd become clear tha
t I was meant to do this all along. To kill her, kill myself rid the world of tw
o lost souls that would only leave heartache, chaos and destruction in their wak
Perhaps in Hell we could meet up like this again enjoy the tortured aspects of o
ur souls, forever doomed to repeat the mistakes and heartache we left behind.
She came over me with a scream that was part pleasure and part pain the sound ca
used my flesh to prickle, my jaw to drop open in shocked delight and I drove mys
elf in harder, welcoming the rippling grip of her muscle. Pushing my upper body
down tighter against her back, I brought my lips to her ear, allowed my heated b
reath to brush across her skin, taking the soft flesh between my teeth and bitin
g down hard enough to make her buck against me. My chuckle rattled my chest and
she let out a satisfied sigh, her hand releasing the letter opener I knew shed in
tended to use to kill me.

I love being inside you. I love taking you and knowing that you never want me to
Her hips moved in such a way as to beg me for more to keep me complacent to keep
me hard and pounding inside her. I laughed. She was smart I couldnt deny her tha
My words come out as a growled whisper my voice broken and cracked by the rush o
f blood through my veins. I could fuck this girl for hours and it would never be
enough. Taking her was like the first dose of a deadly drug; it fogged your min
d, it numbed your body and it caused your heart to race to a point where you had
to struggle to breathe. I reached beneath her, my hands finding the soft weight
of her breasts and I squeezed while growing hard once again inside her. Her bre
aths were coming out shallow and fast as she arched her body, allowing me more s
kin to drag my fingers across.
Stop teasing me, Eleni. Its not going to save you this time.
She stilled, her head turning slightly so that she could listen to what I had to
I have a secret I want to tell you. The last nail in your coffin so you can know
just what type of trash you are.
She yelped when my hands closed tighter on her breasts the nails of my fingers d
ragging over the sensitive skin, my cock hardening inside her once more.
Do you want to know my secrets, Eleni? I promise you they will cut deeper than th
e blade I had you drag across your skin earlier today.
Her lack of response pleased me. I didnt want her to talk back, to interrupt the
torture I was about to impart on her already weak mind. Id humiliated her before,
stripped her bare until she saw the whore inside her the addiction that control
led her. I showed her that she was no better than the people that gave her life.
I made her hate herself as much as she hated them.
Pulling out of her body, I smiled at the thought of fucking her while I tore her
world apart. I wanted her screaming from the feel of my cock while hearing the
words that would hammer in the realization that she didnt deserve her life not af
ter being the perfect combination of the pathetic lives that destroyed mine.
Tell me, Eleni I pushed in and she moaned, her mouth opening to release the pleasu
re I forced over her body. Tell me how your parents died. Pulling out again, I bro
ught myself to the head, waiting for her to speak before forcing myself inside h
er again.
I I dont want to talk about them.
Removing my hand from her breast, I moved to run it along her back, down along t
he crease of her ass until my thumb sat just above the puckered hole. She gasped
, breathlessly waiting for my cock to force back in.
Tell me how they died. I shoved my thumb in her ass and I could feel the opening t
o her cunt tighten around my cock. She tried to speak, her body falling forward
on the desk, her back moving from the force of her breath.
Bringing my head down, I grazed my teeth across the skin on the back of her neck
. She shivered beneath me and I began to move my thumb slowly in and out until s
he loosened up and her hips moved in time with the movement of my thumb.

Tell me I growled. Finally, her mouth opened and she spoke quietly, barely able to
voice her words.
Th They overdosed I forced my cock inside her and she screamed out from the sensati
on. I could see from the angle of her face that tears had started to fall and I
drove myself in harder and faster until I could hear the sound of her body beati
ng against the wood of the desk.
Slowing to an almost lazy rhythm, I chuckled again, bringing my mouth to her ear
and whispering, Are you sure?
She stilled beneath me, confusion settling over her thoughts so obviously that I
sucked in a breath over smiling lips realizing that in this minute she would fi
rst learn of how our lives are so intimately tied.
When I first saw you outside the tattoo parlor you brushed me off. I was nothing
to you. I wasnt a man you wanted to see, or know or feel. However, I felt a conne
ction to you instantly, I knew there was a reason that fate had brought us toget
her had revealed to me the fact that you exist.
Slowing to a point where I was only sitting inside her, I groaned as she clenche
d around me, her body begging for me to go on while her mind wanted nothing more
than to escape me. She knew I was hiding something. She knew I would destroy he
r with my words.
I researched you. It wasnt difficult at all. You flaunt yourself online. You post
pictures of every drunken night you have intimate shots that should be proof of
your shame and yet, you laugh and smile and carry on like you live by different
rules than every other decent human being out there. I stalked you, Eleni, and y
ou provided me the means to do so.
I went soft while talking to her and her body never moved - her breath shallow a
nd slow as she listened attentively. Pulling myself apart from her, I pushed dow
n on the desk, removing my weight from above her body, grasping her arm and spin
ning her over so that I could look in her eyes when I told her the rest.
I have no life. I sit inside this fucking house with all the time in the world to
play online, to track and follow you and learn about you. I hide in shadows, I
go out to eat, gather supplies and fuck and all the rest of the time the HOURS I
spend alone in this house I watch you.
Her eyes widened to hear my confession, but surprise did not exist behind those
gorgeous blues. I understood her lack of shock. She was a smart girl. I knew her
name, her habits everything about her when I brought her back to this place. Sh
e had to have known Id followed her that she wasnt some random woman taken from so
me random bar. Shed seen me at the tattoo convention and she recognized me when I
intervened as she was being attacked by those men. However, what I was about to
tell her would birth the shock that Id been wanting in her all along.
There was something about you that I recognized, something that was always at the
back of my mind the tip of my tongue. My subconscious knew it before I could fo
cus enough to understand what I was seeing. But then THEN one day while I was pe
rusing your newly posted shame, I looked up at your name and it clicked. I snappe
d my fingers so close to her ear that she jumped from the sound.
Her gaze never left mine and her mouth dropped open just enough that I knew she
was lost in the story I was telling her. She hung on every word every syllable a
nd every inflection in my voice. It was part curiosity part fear but mostly a sl
ow awakening inside her to the realization that there was more to her abduction

than Id originally let on.

Im not some perverted asshole, Eleni. I dont abduct women, fuck them, torture them
and make them believe its all some organized plan to rid them of the habits they
use to destroy themselves. In all honesty, I could give a shit about what the tr
ash and whores are doing on a daily basis. They bring on their own despair and p
ain and Im happy enough to sit back and let them. Stupidity breeds misery, but mo
st are too ignorant to see it.
Her lips moved and she stared at me when she asked, So so why me?
I was silent for a second, my brain processing the fact that not only was she li
stening she wanted to know what I had to tell her. I smiled. She wasnt afraid of
me, she wasnt broken to the point of absolute servitude she hadnt lost her voice d
espite everything Id put her through. She was strong, and regardless of what had
been done, she still had the light inside of her that Id grown so jealous of over
the months that I watched her.
Your name was familiar. I ran my finger along her cheek, down across her jaw and h
er neck until I stopped at a point where I could feel the blood pump through her
veins. Her pulse stuttered against my finger the physical manifestation of her
anticipation and fear. Specifically, your LAST name. It didnt register at first, b
ut then the familiarity hit and I remembered where Id heard that particular name
I paused, giving her a few more seconds to allow her to exist within her ignoran
ce of how we were connected.
Your parents died of drugs, Eleni. That part is true. However, it wasnt an overdos
e that was the exact cause. Tell me, when they left the last time you saw them,
did you ever see their bodies again? In their coffins, perhaps?
She shook her head slightly, understanding starting to dawn that shed been lied t
o since she was a child.
They died in a car accident. They were burned to a point of no longer being recog
nizable. They died screaming in pain even with their nerves dulled by the alcoho
l and drugs that were in their systems. They died Eleni when their car crossed t
he median on a warm Sunday afternoon and struck the front of another familys car
MY familys car.
Then, at that moment, the click inside her head was almost audible. Confusion sw
irled behind her eyes, but a light turned on and I swore she knew the rest witho
ut my having to say it.
My parents were killed. They died screaming in the same flames that killed your p
arents. I was caught in those flames and if it hadnt been for a man passing by, a
man brave enough to rip the door open and who allowed himself to be burned to s
ave a child, Id have perished on that road with all of them. But instead INSTEAD
I lived. I was burned over the majority of my body, cut up by glass and living m
ost of the rest of the year inside a hospital while I underwent treatment after
treatment skin graft after skin graft. As I grew, I had to return for more skin
to be cut from my body and replaced, so it would stretch with my growing bones.
Do you have any idea what kind of PAIN comes with growing up that way? Both phys
ical and mental, I was constantly hidden away, a child that could not play with
other children, a life destroyed by the choices that the demons that spawned YOU
had made.
N no .

Her head shook in rejection of what I was telling her and I smiled. After the hos
pitals that fixed my skin came the hospitals that would help fix my mind. Your p
arents taunt me still, speaking to me, telling me to hurt other people like they
hurt me. They laugh at me, they mock me - even in death, they wont let me out of
their fucking grasp!
I shoved away from her and paced the floor in front of the desk where she remain
ed motionless stuck in a state of shock that no person would easily break throug
Do you have any fucking idea how it feels to not be able to go outside? To not be
able to stand in the middle of a crowded room without wanting to beat the livin
g shit out of every person around you?! I was in her face again, my hand grasping
her hair so that I could keep her still as I brought my face down to hers.
Before I could speak again, her mouth opened and she spit out an excuse that I a
ssumed she felt would make things better.
I I didnt know. I had no idea, Gabriel. You have to believe me. They fucked up my
life too!
Tears poured from her eyes, but they werent enough. Her pain wasnt the same. Her l
ife wasnt as black as mine.
No, Eleni. They didnt fuck up your life. That would have been the case had you not
become Just. Fucking. Like. Them. How fitting that demons breed more demons. I
often wondered why I was left alive. Why a child was forced to endure the pain a
nd heartache of EVERYTHING that was taken away. And after meeting you I know.
The momentary silence between us felt like a lead weight on my shoulders one tha
t I would finally be free of now that I understood what fate had in mind.
You still have light in you. Despite the life you were given, despite the life YO
U believe they destroyed you still live like NONE of it ever happened. Youre doom
ed to repeat the same mistakes and I was left alive because Im supposed to destro
y you, Eleni. Ive been left behind to finally rid the world of the ONE FUCKING PE
RSON that keeps those bastards alive!

Chapter Thirty-Five
~ Eleni ~
My pulse raced as his words splintered through my soul. Every secret he spilled
was like a knife to the light left within me; the light he was clearly jealous o
f, the light he just destroyed. No matter what I thought or tried with Gabriel a
t that point, two things were clear: One, he was no longer sane. It didnt take so
meone with my kind of background to figure that out. Two? There was no hope for
my survival. I couldnt persuade him with anything, including sex.
All in all? I was fucked.
I tried to wrap my mind around what my shit-bag parents did. I knew they were lo
wlife pieces of shit, but this was an all-new low; something I wouldve never pegg
ed them doing. I was pissed off that my grandmother never told me the real truth

. And after the years of their abuse, I didnt have the desire to research their d
emise on my own. I just didnt fucking care. Who would?
Guilt washed over me as I watched Gabriel pace back and forth across the small o
ffice. Papers were thrown haphazardly all over the room, causing chaos in every
corner. It reminded me of how he must have felt internally. Scared, lost, pissed
off at the world for how he was forced to be raised; all while I reveled in the
fact that I was free from their abuse. Would I have lived so happily knowing Ga
briel was out there somewhere, drowning in the pain he was forced to live with b
ecause of MY parents?
I wished I could save him. Turn back the clock and deal with their abuse over wh
at my parents did to him and his family. I took joy in the loss of my parents while his loss ruined his life.
Gabriel? May I speak? I quietly ask, praying he isnt going to kill me right there,
right then. Hoping I could get the words out, words he could replay in his head
for as long he continued to live on this Earth; listening to the genuine remorse
. Not that it would help.
What Eleni? his tone was short and clipped. He was annoyed and I knew it wouldnt be
hard for me to push him to the point where he snapped once again. But this time
, I wasnt scared. I knew what was coming, and I finally knew why. I didnt blame hi
m, I just wished that I could help him.
Im sorry for what they did. I know my apology isnt going to matter, but I need you
to know how much I regret the way I lived my life. Enjoying their loss, being ha
ppy they would never return to me when you were forced to live in the agony you
experienced. I took a deep breath and stood up straight, only mere feet from him
as he continued to pace across the room. He never looked up to face me while I s
I am selfish, youre right about that. Had I known you existed, had I known the tru
th about what happened, I would have been there with you every step of the way.
Helping you through life. Things would have been different, Gabriel. I would hav
e been there for you just like I am right now. Lean on me - be with me. Let me h
elp you. Let me show you how sorry I am for what has happened to you.
It wasnt my fault. I tried to tell myself that. But the two very people that got
drunk enough to create me, single-handedly ruined his entire life. I was all tha
t was left of them, all that he could place blame on; and I can bet you, if I wa
s in the same situation as him, I would place the blame on me too.
I stepped in his direction and simply watched him. I spoke no words and took in
the sight before me. His sanity had slipped away. He was a desperate man; desper
ate for the voices to stop, for the pain to be gone, for the memories to stop ha
unting him once and for all. We were haunted by the same two people the same los
s caused by their addiction and mine. This was where we became the same person b
ecause Id been there before, all at the hands of the people who did this to him.
His gaze fell on me as I stood there naked as the day I was born.
His beautifully broken green eyes made their way from my bare pussy to the tears
still slipping down my cheeks. I put my hand out and for once he didnt move. I t
ook a step closer to him and pressed my palm against his chest; once again commi
tting the cardinal sin of touching him, but this time, I wanted to comfort him like a mother would comfort her child.
Its okay, Gabriel. Everything will be okay. Im so sorry. As the last words slipped f
rom my mouth, his hands slammed against my chest, pushing me across the room unt
il my body collided with the hard office wall. The room went dark and that was t

he last thing I remembered.

* * *
I hated waking up in this cage. I missed the beautiful bedroom Gabriel allowed m
e when he first took me. I thought back to how much I absolutely fucking hated h
im in those days; how much I wanted him to die. But now, I just couldnt bring mys
elf to muster that deep hatred I had for him then. It was gone, like the time th
at Id been here with him had stolen it away from me.
My stomach rolled and I emptied the contents of my stomach onto the floor of the
cage. It had been a while since Id felt this sick and I wondered if it has somet
hing to do with my constant worry; the worry of what he was going to do to me ne
xt. The worry of when he would finally lose his sanity enough to go through with
his plan to kill me.
The voices came to life as I sat on the floor and began to cry; something I did
daily since being stuck in my cage. The regrets of my life were just too overwhe
lming to push away anymore. All the wasted opportunities, all the things I fucke
d up and the people Id taken advantage of. He made me open my eyes and realize ev
erything Id done was wrong. He made me want to change; and because of that, I wou
ld never be able to bring myself to hate him.
I should have wished for him to rot in hell. I should have hated him with my ent
ire being. But we all know I was just as fucked up as he was deep down. I wanted
to love him I wanted to fix him. Even though that would always be impossible.

Chapter Thirty-Six
Thirty-one days. Thirty-one days that Id taken her out of that cage. Thirty-one d
ays that Ive attempted to end her to finally destroy the filth that continued to
exist inside her. It was a constant reminder of the demons that stole my sanity
and replaced it with delusions.
Each day I removed her I cared for her first; as if bathing her or feeding her o
r dressing her up would alleviate the pain she would endure in the end. She apol
ogized each day, walking behind me willing and able to die by my hand. Id finally
convinced her that she had to die, that it was the only way to make up for the
loss of my parents lives and for my aunts life as well. Her parents didnt cause tha
t, but her addiction did. If she dies, her addiction dies with her, and I would
have completed the task that I was kept on this world to do. It was the only rea
son I was alive, I was sure of that and since Id discovered my purpose, I hadnt be
en as haunted as I was before.
But a funny thing would happen when she was finally dolled up - when her bright
eyes would look up at me and when her beautifully full lips would speak the apol
ogy I knew that Id hear each day. She whispered she whispered her fucking words a
nd I heard them at night when I slept. They comforted me when I should have hate
d them. I fell asleep with her voice ringing in my ears.
Im sorry, Gabriel you dont deserve this pain. Youre right, I am like them and if it
wasnt for you, I would have never known it.

I wondered if she knew that those words were what saved her each day. Instead of
placing her neck in the noose Id prepared, or dragging the blade across her wris
ts, my lips found those that spoke such beautiful words and my body came alive,
craving her touch, exhilarating in the feel of her hands on my skin. Id never all
owed another soul to touch me besides the numerous doctors and nurses that had n
o choice. Even then, I would grit my teeth. I hated to see the sad looks on thei
r faces when they realized I would never be normal never be like everybody else.
I used to feel sorry for myself, but I realized that the scars were a reminder a
painful sign that would eventually lead me to my ultimate fate. I didnt exist be
fore Eleni and I wouldnt exist after her but for the time, and in the days that w
e had together Id been allowed to know what it was like to love another person, t
o allow someone to touch me without hatred overtaking me. She didnt appear sad wh
en she looked at me. She told me I was beautiful that she wanted me. And I was t
oo selfish to let that go. I couldnt watch her die while I went on living. I coul
dnt exist in a world without Eleni.
So on the thirty-first day, I decided that we would die together. Id chosen her f
avorite poison and Id added mine. It would be the same pattern: Id remove her from
her cage, Id bathe her and dress her only to remove those clothes once again to
fuck her until neither of us could barely move. However, when we sat down to eat
dinner again, Id serve her a meal worthy of a persons last her favorites Id heard
about in her many posts. When she was full, Id take her out into the living room
and with beautiful music playing, with a fire burning in the large fireplace, Id
tell her goodbye for the final time.
She lived for alcohol and now it would be the thing to kill her. Id
despite my hatred of the substance, I would drink so that I could
r. It was a fitting ending for us both and the world could return to
everyone wed known, everyone wed hurt and for everyone wed ever

drink as well
die beside he
normal for

I didnt want violence in the end I wanted peace.

I wouldnt lie to her either.
Shed know what was in that glass and Id know that shed drink it; because when she t
ells me that shes sorry she means it.

Chapter Thirty-Seven
~ Eleni ~
The days bled together in a relentless reminder that Gabriel had kept me captive
here for nearly six weeks. The only reason I even knew it was because of his co
nstant reminder. His words while we went through our everyday routine. He grante
d me my minimal freedom when he woke - it was like clockwork. If I didnt know bet
ter, I would say he needed me in his daily routine, which was another reason he
had yet to take my life.
But today, today was different. The morning brought me a realization that Id neve
r thought I would come to; a realization that should have been a nightmare. I kn
ew it is my ticket to freedom, whether he granted it or not.

This dizziness. The throwing up. The fatigue. It all fucking made sense, because
my period was missing in fucking action. While being held captive, two shitty t
hings had happened Id stopped taking my birth control, and I became pregnant by a
schizophrenic sociopath. It was like Id won the fucking lottery.
All the days hed emptied inside of me, Id relished in the pleasure of our lust. I
never once thought it would come to this; because, in the past, Id never had to w
orry about it. Between the alcohol I pumped into my body and my somewhat caution
for safe sex, pregnancy was never a thought.
But now, it was here and I didnt even need one of those fuckin piece of shit dolla
r store tests to tell me what I already knew.
His footsteps startled me and I knew he was going to be coming for me; walking d
own the stairs to free me from this cage and tenderly care for me. The days neve
r changed. It was like living life on repeat: bathing, feeding, then the one thi
ng that kept him calm - that lulled the beast deep within him. Lovemaking.
And what we did was best described as lovemaking. There was a certain tenderness
to his touch that was never there before. Something had changed, but I dared no
t bring it up for the fear of my safety; and now, for the safety of the small li
fe growing inside me. The life I had to care for and watch over like my own pare
nts never did for me. I had to protect it at whatever cost.
The cage opened and Gabriel stood there with a hint of a smile. His mood was far
more bright than most days.
Good morning, beautiful, Gabriel said, as he pressed a kiss against my forehead. Ti
me for your bath.
I forced myself to relax my body. I didnt want him to know there was anything dif
ferent from when he left me last night. My behavior would be the only thing that
could save us. I just hoped that Id become a good enough actress around him so t
hat I could fool him into believing that nothing was bothering me; all while the
weight of the world rested on my shoulders.
He bathed me without incident, just like every morning; treating me like I was m
ade out of porcelain. Over breakfast, we chitchatted about bullshit; mostly art,
because we had come to learn this was a common love for us both. I couldnt help
but watch him with pity and regret knowing in the back of my mind what Id planned
for him. I didnt want to leave him because, as fucked up as it may sound, Id grow
n to love him in a way Id never loved another person. But, the relationship was t
oxic. Everything about our love and the environment where we existed was doomed.
There was no happy here, as much as we would both fool ourselves into believing
if given the option.
Come with me, Eleni. He reached out for me and I gave him my hand without a second
thought. He quickly guided me back to the bedroom I called my own when hed first
kidnapped me. The bedroom Id called a home for only a short period of time. Beca
use Id acted out initially, hed decided that I was nothing more than an animal tha
t deserved a cage.
Today is a special day for us, Eleni. He paused and nudged my chin up. Our eyes lo
cked and I could see the hint of sadness lingering inside of him. Today is our la
st day together. This is the end. His arms wrapped around my body and he lifted m
e onto the bed.
Were going to share this bed one last time. Im going to show you how much I have gr
own to care for you; the way Ive never cared for another person. With dinner well
drink your favorite poison and drift off into our eternity together.

I pretended not to be stunned by everything he was telling me. I pretended not t

o be scared shitless because this man had every intention of killing himself and
me over dinner; like it was just a stroll in the park or a romantic date for tw
Hed lost it and there was no bringing him back. I could tell because of the eerie
calm I sensed within him. His fingers began to pull at the clothing he dressed
me in after my bath. One button at a time, he started at the top and it took eve
rything in me not to flinch when his hand grazed my belly.
People say a mother can lift a car when her child is pinned beneath it; this fre
akish mother strength that she would use to do anything to protect her child. The
strength - that new drug - coursed through my veins as he continued to touch me.
It was my need to protect this child, my need to free myself from this nightmar
e, my need to break free at whatever cost.
I had no other choices. It was the end of our harrowing road.
I would fight back finally, and if I didnt, he would not only kill me, but he wou
ld murder the child wed created from this fucked up relationship.

Chapter Thirty-Eight
~ Gabriel ~
Stripping her of the red dress Id chosen for her today, my body reacted with a fe
ral need that Id never felt for another woman Id touched. Sliding back the sheets
and comforter, I watched her crawl onto the mattress to sit on her knees with he
r eyes looking up at me. It was something Id never seen in the women Id pressed up
against some dirty alley wall where the shadows could hide my scars and my hatr
ed. I never wanted any of them, but my cock would still swell and the minutes it
took for me to bring myself to climax seemed to alleviate the loneliness just e
nough to allow me to function for another day.
They were so easy and, in the end, so was Eleni. The spirit she held inside her
was like magic. It wrapped itself around my mine, sinking deep into my skin, my
brain, and my very blood making her nothing more than a drug that I could no lon
ger live without.
She reached up for me as I knelt down on the bed and, for once in my fucking lif
e, I didnt flinch when her palms ran over the skin of my chest and shoulders. I t
hought Id never need contact with another human being, but the warmth Id felt from
her kept drawing me back for more. I thought of her every moment that I was awa
ke and I dreamt of her every night. I wondered why life would be so cruel as to
force me to destroy the one thing I had that could bring me to my knees.
But that was life and that was why I was here and I didnt want to leave this worl
d without completing the one thing I was meant to do.
Her lips ran along my jaw her tongue peeking out every so often, tickling the sk
in and setting every nerve inside of me on fire. My cock swelled to a point of p
ain and I moved quickly to release myself of the pants that kept me from burying
myself inside her. We moved like we were made for each other like we were two h

alves of a single person.

I took things slow pushing myself inside her and watching her mouth drop open as
her cunt expanded to fit perfectly around me. Once I was planted deep inside, I
paused my mind basking in the moment that would be our last time together. She
whispered to me at first her words breathless with the sensation of two halves f
inally together. I was breathless as well and, instead of responding to what she
had to say, I pulled back out just to drive myself inside once again. My hands
smoothed down her torso until they rested on the outside of her hips. I lifted h
er up, my need overtaking my desire to go slow for our final time.
She didnt seem to mind. The harder I could give it to her, the louder she would s
cream for more. I allowed the tips of my fingers to press against the sensitive
skin and I granted her the small bits of pain that I know would cause her to com
e over me. Her body arched and my lips found the tips of her breasts, my tongue
rolling over the swollen skin just before my teeth clamped down to graze across.
Her hands gripped my hair and her body shook beneath me. Eventually, I joined he
r in the peak that sent us crashing into a state of euphoria lost within each ot
her before sadness set in again.
This was the end, the final moment of happiness that Id have on this Earth.
We lay together on the bed silently, our hearts slowing down and our lungs final
ly able to take full breaths again. Her stomach growled and I chuckled above her
Are you hungry?
Lazily she smiled and nodded yes. I returned the gesture while pushing myself up o
ff the mattress, grabbing my pants and dressing myself before pulling her up to
do the same for her. I glanced at her expression and I could see in her eyes tha
t she knew wed never find ourselves like this again. I offered her my hand and sh
e took it without hesitation, eventually following behind me for the final meal.
Leading her into the kitchen, I sat her down at the small dinette. In the center
, Id adorned it with black candles and red roses Id bought specifically for her. T
hey matched her dress and I couldnt help but admire the beauty that sat before me
. She shined brighter now that the affects of the alcohol no longer plagued her
system. It was almost as if she was glowing radiant and strong ready to give her
life in order to erase the demons that haunted us both from the world.
Our deaths would save others she knew it and she believed it as much as I.
I bought steak I hope you like it rare, I hate overcooking it and losing the flav
or. I was rambling because I didnt know what else to say. What words exist when yo
u have to look at the person youve grown to love, knowing that you were about to
tell them goodbye. I hoped that the universe would be kind would allow us to wal
k into our next life together, finally delivering us to a place where we could r
est where we could feel the sun on our skin and where we could know that wed acco
mplished everything wed been created to do.
We ate in silence, only the sounds of our forks and knives could be heard scrapi
ng across our plates. Once we were done, I didnt bother cleaning up the table bef
ore leading her into the living room where I had a fire prepared. Beside the fir
eplace, Id placed a table with nothing more than a bottle of red wine and two gla
sses sitting on its surface.
Her eyes flicked to the bottle and she shook her head no so subtly that I wondered
for a second if Id seen her reaction correctly. Her lips soon followed suit and

she voiced a sad objection to what she knew was to come.

I I dont want to drink that, Gabriel. I dont want to leave this world the same type
of drunk that I was for all the years Ive wasted.
My heart pounded painfully in my chest and I reached for her, pulling her into m
y arms and sitting down on the couch with her in my lap. I held her, attempting
to comfort her in our final moment, my hand stroking down the mahogany silk of h
er hair.
This will be the easiest way, Eleni. My voice cracked with emotion I never knew I
could feel and I thanked God that I could at least experience this before surren
dering my life to its purpose.
I cant. Her voice was weak at first, but on her next statement, it became strong. I
An odd mixture of anger and sympathy washed over me and I grimaced to imagine th
at despite what Id done to gain peace in our last moment it would be violence tha
t took us out in the end. There was no more time no more thought and no possibil
ity for a different decision. Id dragged this out for longer than I was allowed.
If we didnt end it now, the demons would return would haunt us until we hurt not
only ourselves, but also every living person around us.
We were poison - her and I - and I refused to allow any more blood to fall on ou
r hands. Our souls were already damaged already cursed to wallow in misery and t
he unending nightmare of our existence. Only death could cleanse us and only dea
th could set us free.
With as much calm as I could force in my voice, I said, You WILL drink it, Eleni.
It wont hurt. Well drink and well fall asleep. There doesnt have to be pain, there
doesnt have to be tears. We can do this together, or I can do it for you and join
you once youve gone. But our time has run out. Turning back is no longer an opti
on it never has been.
No, Gabriel. It doesnt have to be like this. Her bottom lip quivered and tears well
ed in her eyes. But her words caused the fire of anger to smother the sympathy I
once felt. My peace was slipping from my hands and my muscles tensed when I rea
lized that even this small bit of happiness could never be granted.
I closed my eyes for a brief second and opened them again when I felt the warmth
of her palm on my cheek. She was begging begging for her life and mine. I shook
my head in protest. Violence raged through me and the silence Id previously enjo
yed was broken apart when the demons laughed once again.
Shell never follow you. What made you think it would be so easy? Beat her rape he
r make it painful. Only pain cleanses the soul you were never meant for anything
Pushing her off my lap, I dropped her to the floor and she moaned when the bones
of her body struck against the ground. Reaching down, I gripped my fingers into
her hair and pulled her up off the floor so that her feet could no longer touch
. She screamed and the sound turned the simmering embers within me into a uncont
rollable inferno of hatred and anger. Tears escaped my eyes because I never want
ed it to be like this but shed left me no choice.
End Her.
Swinging my arm, I released her hair and she flew across the room, crashing agai
nst the table, the fire burning behind her creating a red glow that surrounded h

er body. Her eyes widened when she saw me charging towards her. She screamed as
she begged me to stop.
I expected my beauty to lay helpless, to fall beneath my weight while my hands g
ripped around her neck. I expected to look down to watch the light die in her ey
es before I pushed off to take my own.
But, as usual, life didnt turn out as Id expected. When I reached for her, she rol
led away, barely escaping my reach and she pushed up before running towards the
I followed, my feet pounding beneath me, my heart feeling like it would burst fr
om my chest and when I rounded the corner I stopped dead in my tracks, looking d
own to see the knife in my stomach.
My jaw dropped open in shock and I looked up into her face to see tears streamin
g down her cheeks. Looking down again, I watched as her hands pulled away from t
he knifes handle, blood covering her pale skin, the palms of her hands shaking as
she pulled them back to her body.
Gripping the knife, I screamed when I jerked it free, listening to the metal cla
ng as it fell to the tile floor beneath my feet.
Instinct set in kill or be killed but I knew I was dead already. Bleeding profus
ely, I slipped in the crimson puddle that developed beneath me, my body crashed
through the dinette where wed just eaten. She ran, grabbing at whatever she could
reach, throwing it at me to slow me down.
She wouldnt stop me. She couldnt. This was what was meant to be.
Pushing myself up from the floor, I chased her around the counter, slipping agai
n, but looking up in time to see her for the final time.
The iron skillet in her hand slammed against the side of my head once, twice, th
ree times until I was rendered immobile, swimming within the darkness that her f
inal fight and her loss of loyalty had caused.

Chapter Thirty-Nine
~ Eleni ~
HELP! Somebody fucking HELP ME! I screamed as I burst out of the front door of my
prison; the home that had kept me captive for the past month. The evening was co
ol, twilight coated the sky and the tiniest bit of the sun lit my way as I frant
ically ran to the next house on the street. The red dress Gabriel clothed me in
was torn from the struggle and his blood covered my hands.
Tears streamed down my face at the thought that I might have killed him; killed
the only man Ive ever loved; but I had no other choice. He would have killed me t
onight - killed us - and I couldnt let that happen. Hed lost his mind. His sanity
was gone, and I only prayed he was in some kind of peace.
I tripped as I ran up the stairs of a large brick house, my knee pouring blood b
ut it didnt stop me one bit. My hands frantically pounded on the door as I contin

ued to scream for help. My finger obsessively pushed the doorbell, begging for s
omeone to answer - quickly. My fear kicked up a notch wondering if Gabriel was f
ollowing me, chasing me, but I was far too afraid to look back.
The door slowly opened and an older woman stood there with shock on her face. He
r hands rose to her mouth as she gasped at the sight of me.
Please help me! My boyfriend, he
y ushered me inside the safety of
to my knees on the hardwood floor
aled 911 and begged for help in a

attacked me! I begged for her help and she quickl

her house, locking the door behind us. I fell
of her entryway, crying hysterically as she di
voice almost as distressed as my own.

Hes sick. Something is wrong with him, he snapped and said he had to kill me. I do
nt know if he is dead or alive, he needs help! The woman relayed the message to th
e authorities. He lives next door, please send an ambulance to him. I pleaded with
total disregard for my own safety or wellbeing. I didnt want to hurt him. Id neve
r wanted to hurt him - yet that was all Id ever done.
In the distance I could hear the shrill of sirens as the woman cradled me like a
baby, promising me everything would be okay. The motherly instinct in her helpe
d me to relax; but only slightly because my concern for him was far too great.
What is your name? she quietly asked me.
Eleni. I whispered and the tears began to fall again. I could hear his voice speak
ing to me, calling me by my name so sweetly in our last moments together. He was
finally at peace, loving and tender. I prayed he was in the arms of his family.
It was where he wanted to be, but his own demons just wouldnt allow it. My heart
was broken with the weight of the evening and everything that had happened.
He said I was glowing. He recognized the change in my body, but the demons cloud
ed him to the point of thinking it was because I was ready to die. Instead, I wa
s so full of life, ready to bring a new soul into the world - a life wed created
together - a life that could save my own. I could only pray I didnt kill him, bec
ause I knew that deep down, I would never be able to live with myself if that wa
s the damage I caused.
A knock at the door startled me and the beautiful lady got up from the couch to
answer the door. I willed myself to get up and follow her; knowing I would have
to speak to the police. Before I can give them my story, I needed to make sure t
heyd go next door and save him; save him from the injuries Id inflicted on him and
save him from his own demons before he ended his life himself.
Maam, Im going to have to ask you a few questions. The uniformed officer stated as h
is eyes dragged over my tattered body.
First, you need to make sure hes okay. Hes sick, and he needs help. Please just mak
e sure the ambulance gets to him. Im begging you! I didnt want to hurt him, but he
was going to kill me. I spit the words out so quickly, it took me a moment to ca
tch my breath.
We have an ambulance over there already, Miss. Do you need medical attention? I wa
s momentarily relieved, but his question snapped me back into reality. Yes, I ne
eded medical attention; I needed to make sure that everything that took place di
dnt harm the most precious thing in my life.
Yes, was all I could muster as he guided me to an ambulance just pulling up at the
My gaze drifted to Gabriels house at the same moment the medical personal were wh

eeling a stretcher out of the front door. His bloody, lifeless body was strapped
down. He was motionless and my tears began to fall harder. They rushed him into
the back of the waiting ambulance and it took off down the quiet suburban road
- lights and sirens disrupting the peaceful evening. If those people only knew t
he kind of nightmare that had been taking place in that well-manicured house in
the middle of their street.
Families stood at the curb watching the show. I wanted to flip them off, but the
y were only curious as to what kind of upset was taking place on their street. P
arents held their children closely, cradling their heads and shielding their eye
s from our blood soaked bodies.
The woman continued to stand by my side as the emergency medical team helped me
into the ambulance and started to ask a series of questions that I answered with
out missing a beat.
Were you raped, Miss?
No, but we did have intercourse. I responded like a robot.
Are you on any medications?
Do you have any medical conditions?
I may be pregnant.
They listened to my replies and wrote them down. The ambulance stayed stationary
and the officer notified me that he would meet me at the hospital to take my st
atement. The scars and bruises on my body must have been proof enough that my st
ory of self- defense was real.
Do you want me to come with you, Eleni? The
as she stood next to the officer. I wanted to
ught I needed her. I needed someone because I
very minute of it. I was scared of what would
alth and future.

woman asked. Tears pooled in her eyes

say yes, because in reality, I tho
was so fucking alone and I hated e
happen. I was scared of Gabriels he

Will you please?

She nodded and ran to lock up her home before joining me in the back of the ambu
We began to move and the woman held my hand.
Can I ask you your name? I was quiet, but curious.
My name is Adele. She quietly whispered to me while kissing my pale hand.
Adele, the patron saint of family. I whispered as my eyes began to close. I couldnt
fight the sleepiness anymore. The adrenaline coursed through my veins, but it s
eemed to be no match for whatever was wrong with me.
My stomach turned, my muscles ached and I realized quickly what Gabriel had done
I think he poisoned me. It was all I could mutter before the ambulance went black.

Chapter Forty
~ Gabriel ~
An alarm beeped beside me. A never-ending sound that drove me from my slumber, t
hat distracted me enough to keep me from falling back into the painless oblivion
Id thought Id found. I wanted to continue to swim in the darkness to drown in the
blood shed released from my body. Death welcomed me with open arms whispering to
me, telling me that, finally, I was released from the Hell Id been forced to suf
fer in life.
But, as usual it was all lies a beautiful picture painted before me of what coul
d have been but what would never be. Something placed just outside my reach. I c
ould stretch my arms all I wanted and I would still fall short.
A dream never fucking realized.
It wasnt supposed to go the way that it did. We were supposed to slip away find h
appiness in a world away from the fucking nightmares and heartache and pain that
had plagued me since the day when my parents wanted to take me to a park.
I was crying. I wanted ice cream and they said I couldnt have any until after wed
spent the day outside.
I was a brat. I told them I hated them.
Maybe that was the reason I was doomed to stop living while being forced to endu
re the world that couldnt understand I was no longer there.
Something foreign overtook me, a tightening in my chest pain caused by something
other than the wounds in my body and the machinations of the people standing ov
er my bed. I opened my eyes to see them beneath me, speaking to each other in hu
rried words, moving their hands over my torso while a tube was shoved down my th
roat. Bright lights illuminated my skin and I shuddered to see the scars Id alway
s hated made plain beneath the ink Id used to disguise them.
I only wanted to be normal.
A normal kid.
A normal family.
A normal life.
I watched them move about. Almost as if in a coordinated dance, they stepped aro
und each other, passing instruments back and forth. Metal clanged against metal
and light from the overhead lamps flashed off the blood stained steel. I knew th
ey were trying to save me and I prayed to the universe thatd failed me up until n
ow to finally do something to release me to answer One. Fucking. Prayer.
Every time the heart monitored flat lined, my head would fall back, relief slowl
y smothering the pain that Eleni had left trapped in my chest. But that relief w
as short lived and the pain would return hotter, heavier crushing against me in
waves, drowning me in the weight of knowing shed left me. She didnt want me. Our l
ove had been a lie just like everything else.

The demons didnt laugh this time. They didnt have to. Lifes cruel joke was torment
Since losing my parents my aunt Id never thought I would know what it was to be l
oved. Eleni was a prisoner to me, but I was never sure if it was the cage or her
heart that held her in that house. Despite everything Id done, she still touched
me tenderly sweetly not affected by the rough scars of my skin, the patches tha
t made me feel more like a reptile than a human being.
There was another flat line and another surge of pain when my body refused to gi
ve up when it wouldnt release the soul that had been crushed and killed long ago.
I knew I wouldnt be released and I knew that the doctor who stood over me wouldnt
quit working until I stopped bleeding.
All I wanted to do was float away.
But fate was never that kind.
* * *
The heat of her palms was on my chest and I smiled. I felt her looking at me, sm
iling in a secret way that showed the true innocence inside her. Without the eff
ects of her poison, her eyes shone blue and I glanced down to see her skin peeki
ng out from the emerald green sundress she wore. My hands reached out to touch h
er, but she playfully pushed me away. She said something, but I could barely und
erstand her. Her words were muffled, as if she were standing at the other end of
a tunnel.
Shes happy not angry, or frightened or scared and I smiled thinking that maybe it
all worked out.
Despite the fact that she acted like she was ready to die with me despite her wa
lking behind me, making love to me and never objecting to what had to be done I
still believed she would deceive me. There was poison in the wine, but it would
only speed up the effects of the poison I cooked into the food. That was the sub
stance that would ultimately kill her. And what I put in the wine would only cau
se us to fall asleep, to go out peacefully while our bodies convulsed and foam p
oured from our mouths. Death was never pretty but if your mind wasnt there to exp
erience it, it could be peaceful in the end.
She never had the chance to drink the wine and I was sure her death was as painf
ul as mine.
After realizing what she must have gone through, I looked back up to her, wonder
ing why she smiled when Id not only lied to her, but also caused her to die painf
ully. Her eyes were filled with love and laughter and her hair looked like spun
silk glimmering against the summer sun that shone above her. I tried to look aro
und to see where we sat, but the landscape was murky, endlessly moving until I c
ouldnt determine what surrounded us.
She didnt seem to care and I shrugged it off, not giving a shit about the locatio
n as long as she was sitting there with me.
Are you alright, Gabriel?
Her brows narrowed between her eyes and the skin on her forehead crinkled in con
cern. I chuckled to see the expression on her face. I loved to see her without t
he sweat of fear shimmering across her skin.

I reached up for her again, but she pushed me away. When I tried once more, she
backed away from me. I reached out, feeling something stopping me from moving, a
nd I screamed out for her as she walked further out of my reach. I pressed forwa
rd but it was like a force against my chest.
My eyes opened.
I saw the nurse above me.
And I realized it was her hands on my skin.
Grabbing her hands, I tried to scream but something was down my throat. I dug my
nails into the tops of her hands and crushed the delicate small bones between m
y palms.
Her mouth opened and she screamed as well.

Chapter Forty-One
~ Eleni ~
When I woke up, the nurses were buzzing around me and a man with a lab coat stoo
d at the end of the bed. I could only assume he was a doctor. His deep voice wel
comed me as I took a couple deep breaths and fought off the nausea.
Eleni, its nice to see you awake. Youre lucky you got to the hospital when you did.
It wouldnt have been much longer before the poison you ingested did some real ha
rm to your body.
He held up a chart, and made a couple notes.
You should make a full recovery. Another doctor will be in here shortly to speak
with you as well; now that we know you are awake and coherent. He smiled and left
. Doctors - always too busy to take their time with the patients that truly need
ed it. I looked to my left and saw Adele sitting beside me. She smiled warmly an
d brushed the hair away of my face.
Gave us quite a scare, but you should be fine now. her touch is tender and caring,
and it helped to relax me. I closed my eyes and took in all the sounds of the e
mergency room; the beeps of the machines surrounding me. The chatter in other cu
bicles only separated by thin sheets providing minimal privacy. My mind spun thi
nking about the baby and the fact that Gabriel almost accomplished his goal of t
aking me out. A tear slipped from my eye, because I was certain his rash behavio
r had killed the life I was possibly carrying. Disappointment washed over me and
I tried to push the thoughts away. I shouldnt have been disappointed. I should h
ave been relieved.
GABRIEL LET ME GO! A woman screamed from the other side of the wall. A crash echoe
d through the open room and medical staff came running from all angles. Gabriel.
They were touching him. He was already lost and they are only going to push him
further into the darkness he was trapped within. If I didnt help him, this wasnt

going to end well.

Despite being attached to various machines and an IV, I ripped everything from m
y body and jumped out of the bed. He needed me. Gabriel needed me right then. I
pulled the sheet back and instinct took over.
I ran from the room where they held me and rounded the corner only stopping when
Id finally reached his bed.
Throwing myself between his body and the doctors and nurses, I screamed, Dont touc
h him! He doesnt like to be touched! Please stop! The nurses were scrambling to re
strain him to the flimsy hospital gurney. I stepped to the side, pressed my hand
to his cheek and began whispering into his ear.
Gabriel, Im here, love. Its okay, theyre just trying to help you. His body began to r
elax as he listened to my voice.
He tried to speak, but the tube down his throat prevented it.
Yes, love. Im here. Im sorry but this is for your own good. Were going to help you g
et better. Were all here to help you. I love you, Gabriel. Its all going to be oka
y. I promise you. I kissed his cheek and he calmed down enough for the staff to r
estrain and medicate him. Tears rolled down my face watching them treat his woun
ds - the wounds that I had caused.
Hes schizophrenic I offer them, ..and he has been off his medication. I waited for him
to fall asleep from the tranquilizers before going back to my gurney and crying
myself to sleep. But the sleep didnt last long because a laundry list of doctors
had an agenda with me.
Miss Richards? The new doctor woke me. I nod at her presence, acknowledging her in
the most minimal way I could without being completely rude.
Im Doctor Williams from the OB/GYN department. With her words, my head snapped to t
he side and I sat up in the bed. She had my full attention.
Weve run some tests and it appears the poison you ingested didnt affect your baby a
t all. Youre in the very early stages of pregnancy - probably about five weeks or
so. We detected a faint heartbeat when you were brought in but we would like to
monitor you closely for the next couple of days. We would like to take you for
another ultrasound if youre feeling up for it.
I could only nod my head as the tears began to fall again.
I protected our baby. I saved our baby.
Our. Baby.

~ Eleni ~
Five small fingers, a tiny hand that held mine as we walked through the parking
lot leading up to the building that would forever change his life. His steps wer

ent balanced, but he was so proud for making them, small ones that would turn int
o large confident strides when he finally grew into the man I knew he could beco
me. He was a new beginning, an angel that meant more to me than the one that gra
ced my leg. He was my protection, my growth and my reminder that from the ashes,
beautiful things could be reborn. He was my Phoenix, the living and breathing p
roof that life didnt have to end the way that it started out. He was proof that t
he combination of two wrongs could sometimes make a right, and that deep within
the suffocating darkness, small sparks could be created that birthed brilliant l
When I left the hospital after three days of being treated for the poison that G
abriel had fed me, I was a new woman - three long days that I spent wondering if
my child would survive Gabriels cruelty the delusions that led him to believe th
at we both were meant to die. However, the baby blessedly kept living, his heart
beating strong each day that they let me listen to the small thumps of the moni
tor the hurried flutters that would one day become slow and strong.
In those three days, something extraordinary happened. I had too much time to th
ink; but for once, my thoughts werent glued to the past. After living through the
nightmare that Gabriel had forced on me, and after learning that I would walk a
way not only as a stronger person but as a mother my thoughts shifted to the fut
ure, to what my life would become, to the joys and glory of bringing new life in
to the world and finally being happy with the one Id lived all along.
It was odd, but I think I finally learned about forgiveness in those three days.
While lying alone, strapped to the numerous cables and tubes, I thought of my p
arents and what theyd done. I thought about Gabriels parents and the life that was
stripped from them and from the boy theyd carried in the backseat of their car.
Ill admit that discovering the circumstances of their death had hurt worse than w
hat theyd been able to do to me in my short life to learn that their addiction no
t only left me alone, but Gabriel as well. However, I was able to forgive them f
or their weakness - only because it meant I could forgive myself for mine.
Gabriel had been correct in the things he showed me. Despite the cruel way he we
nt about showing me the truth about myself, I was grateful that it happened. Loo
king back, I was allowing my life to fall aside, allowing myself to become just
like the people whod destroyed the light inside me. I liked to think they didnt kn
ow better because, in retrospect, neither did I.
What Gabriel did to me was wrong I realized that. But what he awoke inside me wa
s right, it was renewing, it was the pain that I needed to endure so that I coul
d come out stronger on the other side. I couldnt blame him for his actions. I wan
ted to hate him, to view him as the monster hed allowed himself to become. Howeve
r, in those long hours that I stayed alone inside that dark hospital room, I tho
ught back on the other side that I saw of him in the moments when hed been gentle
and kind.
He wasnt a monster after all he was simply haunted by the same nightmares Id run f
rom all my life. I could escape into a bottle, I could escape into the false rea
lity I created to hide from the emotional scars but he couldnt hide from the phys
ical scars that every day served to remind him of everything he had lost. In tho
se quiet hours, I began to understand what happened to him and, no matter how ha
rd I tried, I couldnt hold it against him.
And now, as I took small steps to match those of my son, I appreciated the man w
ho helped create him, the man who took me from my life and, through the pain, th
rough the heartache, and through the misery he bestowed upon me, had released me
back into the world a different person than I had been before I ever knew he ex

The Eleni that was abducted never returned to the world shed known before. I neve
r drank another drop of alcohol, I didnt contact the people who never bothered to
look for me or even notice that I was missing. After gathering my things, I dit
ched my apartment and moved over to a better side of town leaving behind the job
I never wanted and the lifestyle I should have never let happen.
Im sure youre wondering how I was able to do that just disappear without the means
to support my own life much less the one growing inside me.
I have to be honest when I tell you that I had Gabriel to thank for that.
His hospital room had been next to mine for those three days. Each day, I heard
him struggle against the doctors and nurses and while they still believed that w
e were boyfriend and girlfriend I convinced them to allow me in his room during
his attacks, to whisper softly to him enough to calm him down so they could trea
t his wounds and administer his medication.
By the third day, he was stable and hed regained touch with reality once again. Id
visited his room when I was discharged, worried that my absence would send him
careening back into the nightmare that hed fought so hard to break through. When
Id walked in that room, he smiled a real smile that brightened his face, but was
overshadowed by the pain and guilt I saw in his eyes. I knew it was insane to ca
re about him after everything hed done but I couldnt help the sympathy I felt for
him and I couldnt forget the small spark of love Id developed for him in the few s
weet moments hed shown me. Hed been wrong for what he did but he was still the onl
y person in my life that cared enough to try and change me. I couldnt hate him fo
r that and I realized that a bond had formed between us despite the manner in wh
ich it had been born.
We talked for several hours before I left that day. He begged me to stay in his
house, to use what he had to make my life everything it could become. He wanted
to give me something to make up for the pain that hed caused. I knew it was wrong
hell, that it was fucking insane - but I took his offer, returning to the house
, cleaning up the crimson puddle that was left behind from the day Id finally esc
aped. I locked the basement door, forever hiding away the room that held my cage
However, almost two years later once Id finally graduated, found a job and saved
up the money to get a place for Phoenix and me, I moved out, leaving behind the
memories, both good and bad, of the time that Id stayed there.
Gabriel had told me in our time together that I would never be heard from again.
He was right. I was a different person a better person and the life I left behi
nd became nothing more than a distant memory where the old Eleni died when she w
as abducted by a man who suffered from a cruel mental illness and an obsession r
ooted in the past.
* * *
Hello, Eleni, its so good to see you today. And look at little Phoenix! Hes gotten
so big!
Andrea, the elderly nurse that was always stationed at the front desk came aroun
d the corner of the large wooden structure to get a better look at my son. Her e
yes lit up when she watched him take a few steps and she held her hands to her c
heeks, her mouth opened wide in delight and surprise.
Hes getting so big. Look at him go. She winked at me and smiled. Hell be running befo
re you know it.

Laughing, I reminded her, You just saw him last week, Andrea, he isnt much bigger
today than he was then.
Her face lit up when she bent down to hug him and run her hand over the silk of
his ebony black hair. Oh, nonsense. When they are this young, every day they look
different bigger and more impressive than the day before. Soon, hell be just as
good looking as his daddy. She brushed down the wrinkles in her skirt when she st
ood up. If not more so. Another wink and she was rounding the corner of the desk o
nce more to sit down in her chair; her old legs growing tired from the little bi
t of activity shed just exerted. Andrea was well beyond retirement age, but she w
as too much of an angel to give up on the patients in the hospital where shed wor
ked for so many years.
Its a big day for you today, isnt it? Do you think hell be ready? I mean, hes shown s
o much progress and I have no doubt that youll watch over him like you always hav
e, but he scares me sometimes, Eleni. Theres so much sadness in him. Sometimes I
think he makes up things just so he can feel more guilt.
Nodding my head, I smiled despite the fear I shared with Andrea. Id worked in thi
s hospital for several months, teaching patients to express themselves through a
ny art form they chose to attempt. Some loved paint, while others preferred noth
ing more advanced than a pencil or pen. However, with each drawing or painting t
hey produced, a small bit of their soul was revealed to them.
Im sure hell be fine. As long as he stays on his medications, I dont think we have t
o fear a relapse. I picked Phoenix up to sit him on the surface of the desk while
I waited for Andrea to retrieve the key to the recreation room where I was head
Handing me the key, she smiled again, sympathy alight in her eyes. I guess its tim
e, Eleni. Hes waiting for you.
Picking Phoenix up from the desk, I held him balanced on my hip when I turned to
walk down the long hallway to the rec room. My steps werent hurried as I moved,
the heels of my shoes echoing through the empty, sterile halls. After what felt
like the longest walk Id ever made, I reached the rec room door, inserting the ke
y into the lock and turning the handle to look upon the most beautiful man Id eve
r seen in my life.
His head was bent down, his fingers peeking out from where theyd been run through
his dark hair. He didnt look up at first and I didnt make a sound except for the
rhythmic click of my footsteps when I entered the room. Only when the large door
thundered shut behind me did he look up, his green eyes startling me like lumin
ous emeralds brought to life by the reflection of the light above him.
Staring at me long and hard, a tear ran down his cheek when he finally turned hi
s attention to the small boy in my arms. I stepped closer, not wanting to distur
b him as he gazed upon our son.
Would you like to hold him?
Soundlessly, he reached out with his arms and I stepped towards him, pulling Pho
enix from my hip to place him in the lap of the man whod fathered him. Phoenix le
t out a squeal of delight and reached up with his tiny hands to pull at Gabriels
ebony hair.
Hello Phoenix. I see youve brought your mommy by to see me today. After playfully p
inching the tip of his sons nose, he kissed him on the forehead. Thank you. His eye
s peeked up at me when he continued talking to the small boy in his lap. Did you
see how beautiful she looks today? Like an angel whos come to rescue me.

I smiled, my cheeks burning hot from the blush I knew appeared in response to hi
s compliment.
Ive come to take you home, Gabriel. You finally get to leave this place.
He grimaced, but then turned his attention back to Phoenix and I saw pure love f
lood behind the green of his eyes. Without looking at me, he quietly asked, Do yo
u think I can do this, Elle? Im afraid after everything I did
Stop right there, Gabriel, I interrupted his train of thought before it could even
leave the station. All of that is in the past, its a place we briefly visited but
in which we no longer live. Its behind us as long as we keep our eyes looking fo
I could see the doubt flash across his expression and I knelt down to place one
hand on his knee and the other on the back of our son.
Weve battled our demons, Gabriel. Theyre dead, remember? They cant hurt us anymore.
I know. His voice was choked by the fear that caused his hands to tremble.
I rubbed my hand along the calf of his leg, attempting to soothe him with my tou
ch and my words. Keeping my voice calm and serene, I reminded him, Its like Ive tol
d you before; I agree that everything that happened was for a reason. The accide
nt, the loss of our parents the fact that we were brought together again later o
n in life to create what was meant to be our son, Gabriel he was the reason for
all of it. You werent left alive to be tortured, you were left alive so we could
create a miracle together.
A smile peeked out from his lips and his beautiful eyes looked up at our son, gl
istening from the tears that welled before rolling down the perfection of his ch
eeks. He was extraordinary, a tortured soul that somehow found the strength to f
ix himself despite the scars that still marred his skin beneath the bleak lines
of the tattoos he had inked to cover them.
Placing my hand in his, I stood up, pulled him to his feet and laughed when he b
ounced Phoenix up and down, causing the small boy to giggle with delight.
Tears fell down my face when I looked up at him. Youre ready and Ill be there for y
ou every step of the way.
Nodding, he grabbed the small bag beside the table, lifting it with the one arm,
while continuing to hold Phoenix in the other. Solemnly, we walked hand in hand
through the halls, stopping once to say goodbye to Andrea before walking throug
h the large glass doors out into a life that we would build for our son.
The drive home was long, the half hour drive seemingly endless because of the su
ffocating silence in the car. I wanted to talk to him, to remind him of everythi
ng he accomplished, but I was afraid to disturb him as he prepared to begin his
life once again.
When we reached the house, I parked the car in the driveway, not moving immediat
ely so as to give him time to acclimate to the view of the house where hed held m
I dont think I can do this, Elle. I dont think I can go back in there.
I reached over and squeezed his hand. Itll take time to adjust, Gabriel, I know th
at. But, in time, youll see that you have the strength to endure, to live and reb

uild everything you allowed to fall down around you. Ill be there for you. I wont
leave you alone. But you have to face this house the memories. You have to remem
ber what happened so you can make sure that youll never let it happen again.
What if I fail what if
I placed my finger on his lips, effectively silencing his worries and his words.
I wont let you. We can be a family, Gabriel. You dont have to hide anymore or be s
cared of the world. You can have life inside you the same type of life that I ha
d in me the life you wanted but thought you could never have.
Finally, after what felt like forever, he breathed out a heavy sigh and we got o
ut of the car, grabbed Phoenix and walked into the house where it had all began.
As we crossed the threshold, I reached out to grab his arm, spinning him to loo
k in my direction and pushed up on my toes to kiss him on his lips.
I cant stay with you, Gabriel. I mean, Ill be here for a few hours, but I cant live
with you not yet.
Nodding his head, he wrapped his arm around me and walked me farther into the ho
use towards the living room. Stopping suddenly, his eyes grew wide when he saw t
he gift Id left him above the fireplace mantle.
It was a picture Id painted of us me, Gabriel and Phoenix sitting together in a s
unlit field, flowers surrounding our bodies as we lounged on a blanket in the mi
ddle of the thick grass. Removing his hand from around my shoulder, he walked sl
owly towards it, reaching up to brush his finger across the paint before turning
back to me with a question in his eyes.

laughed softly, happy to see the surprise and love behind his expression. Its ou
future, Gabriel. Every time you feel like youre slipping, like youre falling bac
into memories that will do nobody good, I want you to look at this to know tha
there is a family waiting for you out there. One you helped create and one who
will save you as much as you saved them.

His head turned once again to glance at the painting. Returning his attention to
me, he walked back to my side, grabbing my hand and pulling me down on the couc
h to sit beside him.
For you us Ill do this for us.
I stayed with Gabriel for several hours before leaving for the evening. I planne
d to see him every day that I didnt have work and every night when I did. I was w
orried about his recovery, but hopeful that, in time, the nightmare that brought
us together would be a distant memory, no longer weighing down our thoughts or
overshadowing the bright future that lay before us.
As I drove my son and myself home, I laughed at the way life worked the irony th
at from tragedy, a beautiful future could be born. The road we both traveled was
painful, it was littered with potholes and roadblocks, it was painful in parts
and unbearable in others, but we survived. We learned how to love others and our
selves, and we created a beautiful soul that would go on to become something bet
ter than we had ever been.
It was a nightmare that became a dream, pain that became happiness, and a journe
y that would forever be imbedded in our thoughts.
It was fucked up. I was crude. But it was our story.
And given the ending the light that was born to smother the bleak darkness I wou

ldnt have had it any other way.

I was, and forever would be, Gabriels Good Girl.

Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One