P. 1
Shyness

Shyness

5.0

|Views: 472|Likes:
Published by astrosue

More info:

Published by: astrosue on Mar 24, 2008
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

Availability:

Read on Scribd mobile: iPhone, iPad and Android.
download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
See more
See less

05/13/2012

pdf

text

original

There is a natural tendency to avoid things that cause discomfort. If social
situations make you uncomfortable, your inclination -- given a choice -- is to
steer clear of them. To a large extent, the newness of a social event is what
makes it unnerving. Even shy people report being relatively at ease in familiar
situations. But in new situations, anxiety goes up. To deal with the anxiety, you
avoid the situation. The situation therefore stays new and unfamiliar so the next
time, you avoid again -- and a cycle is set in motion. As a socially challenged
person, you deny yourself the opportunity to get better in uncomfortable
situations because you either leave the situation as soon as you can, or avoid it
altogether. Two things then happen: 1) situations stay novel 2) you become
more likely to avoid similar situations in the future. In no time, you have
entrenched negative habits. The Social Success Cycle encourages you to
"behave yourself" into overcoming your anxiety. By feeling the fear and doing it
anyway, you learn that situations are not as unsafe as they may first seem. You
can also address the anxiety directly. Here are some tips for doing that.

Taking care of you

Anxiety about being with others is not just a psychological experience. To a
great extent, your anxiety level is affected by how well you slept last night, how
much coffee you have had, whether or not you had a healthy breakfast, how
much nicotine you have in your system, and the last time you exercised.

In addition to working on a healthier lifestyle, don't forget to breathe. There are
two ways to breathe. Upper-chest breathing is how you get oxygen when you
are exerting yourself. It is also the breathing mode you go into when you're
under stress. Belly breathing is breathing from the diaphragm. This type of
breathing has the benefit of relaxing your entire system. One of the most
powerful techniques for rapidly reducing a state of agitation is to take several
slow deep breaths, pushing the diaphragm down and outward. Just as upper-
chest breathing can actually make you more agitated, belly breathing can bring
on a state of serenity and well-being. Learning to take care of yourself will help
you face social situations with less stress and apprehension.

Come across confident

Don't be chained to your desk

Give yourself an opportunity
to get out, socialize, and
engage potential business
contacts by using a notebook
PC that will allow you to work
from nearly anywhere.

» HP 2510p notebook PC

» Notebook buying guide

Feelings follow behavior. If you want to feel sure of yourself, act sure of
yourself. When you enter a social situation, visualize confident behavior.
Confidence is in your voice, your eye contact, and your behavior. You don't
have to feel confident to come across confident -- by acting strong, you will feel
strong. We are not suggesting you do anything totally out of character. But
since emotions often lag behind behavior, you may need to fake self-assurance
until you really feel it.

You're Reading a Free Preview

Download
scribd
/*********** DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE ! ************/ var s_code=s.t();if(s_code)document.write(s_code)//-->