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Jocelyn Martin

4/6/2014
Initial Vision and Expectations Paper


As I get ready to start my first internship tomorrow, I am filled with apprehension and
uncertainty. I am having a very difficult time letting go of all of my responsibilities at my school, Mayo. I
am very worried that I overlooked something as I was preparing to be away from my students, lessons,
and the multiple clubs that I run for next three weeks. Then to add to that, I am concerned that all my
worrying about Mayo will impact me at my internship. Hopefully once I get into the swing of things at
Kent Island High School, I won’t even have the time to worry about Mayo.
I am excited and nervous that my first internship is in a high school. I visited a high school once
for a few hours, for another library class, but apart from that I have not been in a high school when
school was in session since I graduated from my own. On the other hand, I have been in elementary
schools all my life, even throughout middle school, high school and college I was constantly going to
elementary schools to volunteer in my mom’s school library or help out classrooms - and now I have
worked in elementary schools for the last 10 years. I feel very comfortable with the elementary
environment, curriculum, culture and age-groups. But high school is so different, the students are much
bigger and they can drive and some are about to head off to college – I feel like I am about to enter an
entirely different world. Hopefully my summers working at academic camps for kids going into grades 7-
9 and my brief stint as an assistant director for a high school play a couple years back have helped to
prepare me for this experience. Luckily, one of my strengths, as has been noted by my principal many
times, is building relationships with students.
In my high school, the library was a place you went to use the computer, hang out, or where we
took our AP tests; I never had a class in there. Our librarian was the stereotypical elderly keeper of the
books who liked to drone on about random history for hours, the only difference was that Mr. Marr was
a man with weird ties instead of an old woman with a bun. I truly hope that the library program at Kent
Island High School is nothing like the library from my high school. Luckily, I already know that the
librarian is more interesting than Mr. Marr because I did not want to fall asleep or run away when I met
Christine. She seemed very positive and proud about her library program. I was surprised how positive
she was given that, due to budget cuts, she had lost her library aide and she said that the teachers are
not interested in collaborating with her. This woman does everything in the library by herself and she
wasn’t complaining! For someone who has to do it all by herself, she seemed very calm, almost too
calm. I can’t decide if that means she’s given up on some of the roles of a school librarian or if that
means she has found the secret to managing chaos under pressure. She mentioned that when she came
to Kent Island High School 4 years ago, she created pathfinders and resource guides to help facilitate
collaborative relationships with the faculty. The faculty loved her resources and were more than happy
to use them, but they did not really feel the need to collaborate with her. I wonder, since I will only be
there for 3 weeks, how much of an impact I will be able to make in an environment that doesn’t view
the librarian as an instructional partner. I also keep wondering what she does all day long, if no one with
collaborate with her. I know in my heart there is more to what she does, but I just cannot shake the
image that she sits at the circulation desk, checking in and out books all day long. I know this is wrong, I
know there is more to what she does, but for some reason I can’t shake that image from my head and as
a result I am having a lot of trouble visualizing what I will be doing all day long. I keep picturing myself
bored with nothing to do but shelve books, then my rationality kicks in telling me that’s crazy and I am
going to be on my feet running around all day doing a variety of tasks all related to running an effective
library program. I truly hope that my rationality is right. I am hopeful that this library program is much
more a part of the learning process than I am currently able to imagine. After all, the library program
should be an integral part of the learning process that collaborates with students and teachers as they
become effective users of information. I hope that the library program is valued in the school and not
just seen as another room in the building.
As for my second placement, which will take place in elementary summer school, I am very
curious about how this is going to work. I’m not concerned about feeling uncomfortable in the
elementary environment or being able to connect with the students and staff, but I keep wondering
what the schedule will look like. Will it run like a ‘normal’ school day that happens to be shorter? Or
will the schedule be completely different? I also wonder about the students, will there be a variety of
students, like during the school year, or will the student population be made up entirely of students with
learning difficulties? Then I wonder where does the library fit in? Since this is only a month long, half-
day program, how integral will the library program be in the learning process? I hope the library
program will be used to support the students’ education and that teachers will be willing to collaborate
to enrich student learning. Again my imagination keeps envisioning the worst case scenario, where we
work in the library, weeding the collection and doing inventory because not a single student, teacher or
parent feels to the need to utilize the library program, perhaps they don’t even realize that the library is
open during summer school. I hope I am wrong. I hope that the fact that Montgomery County has had
certified librarians in their elementary summer school for years has fostered a culture where the library
program is utilized by all users throughout the entire year.
As I prepare for my internships, I am nervous because I don’t know what to expect. However, I
feel that my ability to build relationships, think creatively and work hard will help me through both
internships whether they turn out to be amazing or worse than my imagination. I look forward to finally
get to work in some school libraries and see how they run on daily basis. I’ve learned all the theory of
what makes an ideal library program, now I am anxious to see how librarians are able to keep that ideal
in reality.