CASE STUDY

Art of Obituary Writing

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Adoption

Yvonne Sullivan
The People’s Biographer
 Art of Obituary Writing
Adoption

This case study will demonstrate best practices when writing about adoption in an obituary. It
will cover three sections of an obituary: biographical, predeceased, and survivor. Unless stated
otherwise, the characters in this case study are fictitious. Similarities to actual people are only
coincidental.

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Once an adoption is finalized, an adult becomes the legal parent, or parent, of a child. If your
spouse or partner legally adopts your child, his or her role changes from stepparent, or otherwise,
to parent. The reason is because an adoption establishes a parent-child relationship equal to that
of a biological child. Even if an adopted child and adoptive parent disown each other, due to a
strained relationship, the parent-child relationship remains unbroken.

Since there is no difference between an adopted child and biological child in matters of the law,
it is unnecessary to label a child as biological or adopted in an obituary. (For example: “. . . .
adopted son, Fredrick; son, Charles; . . .”) Instead, list the children from oldest to youngest in the
predeceased section or survivor section.

For example (survivor section): “. . . Herman News is survived by his wife,

Jacqueline News; three sons, Jackson News (Elizabeth) of Columbus, Ohio,
Herman News, Jr. (Julia) of Cincinnati, Ohio, and Jake News of Columbus, Ohio;
two daughters, Kate News and Ann Pugh (Paul), all of Columbus, Ohio; . . .”

In the example above, Jackson is an adopted son and Kate is an adopted daughter
of Herman and Jacqueline News. Jackson is the oldest children and, you guessed
it, Ann is the youngest.

If an adoption is generally known, an obituary writer may want to share the adoption story in the
biographical section. Everyone loves a heartwarming story.

Additional best practices will be explored in this case study based upon the following scenario:

John Carl Moore was adopted in 1969 by James and Marlene Moore. Born Carl
Bridgecamp on June 11, 1968, John was about 16 months old at the time of his
adoption. Only six months after John's arrival, the Moores conceived Amber. She
was a welcomed addition to their happy family.

After John graduated from The Ohio State University, he married his high school
sweetheart, Nicole. His best friend, Lee Silver, was his best man in the wedding.
John and Nicole remained in Columbus, Ohio, their hometown. They were
blessed with two sons, John, Jr. and Christian.

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 The joy of fatherhood got John thinking about his birth parents. He decided to
seek them out. On his birthday three years ago, John met his birth mother, Lucille
Bridgecamp. He was told the name of his birth father, Mitch Carl Michaels;
however, the whereabouts of his birth father were unknown.

Lucille told John that his conception was a result of teenage love. Lucille's parents
insisted that she abort her pregnancy. They were concerned about her future, since
Lucille was only 16 years old. She refused. Lucille secretly planned to relocate
from Kentucky to Ohio to give birth and raise her baby alone.

As planned, Lucille gave birth to John in Lewis Center, Ohio. Without financial
support from and contact with her parents, Lucille experienced great setbacks.
She decided to give John up for adoption after his first birthday. John appreciated
her sacrifice, once he understood her dilemma. He was raised by wonderful
parents.

The Moores supported his effort to reconnect with his birth mother. Lucille had
even considered relocating to Columbus, Ohio, at the end of 2008. She was twice
divorced, lived in Arizona, and had no other children. She was excited about
getting to know John and Nicole better. She definitely wanted to spoil John, Jr.
and Christian more.

Unfortunately, John died in a car accident before the changes happened.

Life will and does bring the unexpected – huh? Now, Nicole and the Moores are tasked with
writing an obituary for John. This is what they should consider (by section):

BIOGRAPHICAL SECTION:

The biographical section includes vital information about the subject, such as birth date and
location, death date and location, employment, education, hobbies, etc. Since it is generally
known that John was adopted, it is ideal to write about the adoption story in the biographical
section of his obituary. It is also ideal to write about John's reconnection with his birth mother.
Both life events are inspiring.

For example: “. . . John Carl Moore was born Carl Bridgecamp on June 11, 1968,
in Lewis Center, Ohio, to Lucille Bridgecamp. Because of his birth mother’s
unconditional love, John was put up for adoption. She wanted him to live above
their current circumstances. Around that time, James and Marlene Moore had
decided to start a family, adopt a child. Their love for John was instant. He was
adopted by them at 16 months old. . .”

PREDECEASED SECTION:

The predeceased section includes the names of immediate family members (current and former),
who died before the subject. Current immediate family members are defined as spouse and
children – including adopted, biological, half, and step. Former immediate family members are

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defined as parents and siblings – including adopted, biological, half, and step. Some sources
consider grandparents and grandchildren to be immediate family members. However,
predeceased grandparents and grandchildren are often not listed in this section. Aunts and uncles,
nieces and nephews, in-laws, and cousins are not considered immediate family; therefore, they
are not listed in this section.

As it relates to the scenario above, John has no predeceased immediate family.

SURVIVOR SECTION:

The survivor section is divided into three parts: immediate family members (current and former),
special relationships, and general, in that order.

Again, immediate family members (current and former) include spouse, children, parents, and
siblings – including adopted, biological, half, and step. The number of grandchildren and greats,
not names of, are usually included in this section. (For examples: “. . . 16 grandchildren; 7 great
grandchildren; 2 great, great grandchildren . . .”) Writers may prefer to list grandchildren by
name, when there are few of them. Depending on the age of the deceased, from baby to young
adult, the writer may want to list grandparents in this section as well. Otherwise, aunts and
uncles, nieces and nephews, in-laws, and cousins are not defined as immediate family; therefore,
they are not listed in this section. (Include spouses in parenthesis.)

Special relationships include best friends, godparents, foster parents, caregivers, and other
meaningful relationships to the subject. If the subject has a special relationship with an aunt or
cousin, for example, the writer may want to mention it in this section.

General covers the rest; it often reads, “. . . and a host of family and friends.”

Except for the grandchildren, when listed as a total number, and the general part, the writer may
want to include the city and state of the survivors.

As it relates to the scenario above, the birth mother, Lucille, is considered a

special relationship. Only the adoptive parents are recognized parents of John.

For example: “. . . John Moore is survived by his wife, Nicole Moore; two sons,
John Moore, Jr. and Christian Moore; parents, James and Marlene Moore of
Columbus, Ohio; sister, Amber Letterman (Timothy) of Ann Arbor, Michigan;
birth mother, Lucille Bridgecamp of Tucson, Arizona; best friend, Lee Silver of
Columbus, Ohio; and host of family and friends.”

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FAQ:

What if an adopted child does not reconnect with his or her birth parent?
If there is no reconnection between the adopted child and the biological parent, there is no need
to include the birth parent in an obituary – vice versa. This is true, even when the birth parent
may be known. Recall, the birth parent forfeited his or her parental rights. The adoptive parent is
the recognized parent.

What if a child is adopted by a spouse or partner?

As stated earlier, if a child is legally adopted by a spouse or partner, a parent-child relationship is
established. Therefore, the spouse or partner becomes a legal parent and should be listed as a
parent, not stepparent or otherwise. Also, the child should be listed as his or her child, not
stepchild or otherwise.

For example (survivor section): “. . . Ivan Carole is survived by his wife, Nancy
Carole; two daughters, Lisa Carole and Lucky Hill (Joseph), all of Charlotte,
North Carolina; son, Galvin Carole of Atlanta, Georgia; . . .”

Ivan adopted Galvin, who is Nancy’s biological son; whereas, Lisa and Lucky are
Ivan’s biological daughters. Lisa and Lucky are older than Galvin; therefore, they
are listed first among the children – including adopted, biological, and step. For
clarification, it is acceptable to mention the adoption story in the biographical
section.

What if a child is not adopted by a spouse or partner?

Let’s start with the spouse first. If a child is not legally adopted by a spouse, he or she is
considered a stepchild of the spouse. Likewise, the spouse is considered a stepparent of the child.
Either way, they are immediate family and should be included in the predeceased section or
survivor section accordingly.

For example (survivor section): “. . . Gina Fisher is survived by her husband,

Mark Fisher; two twin daughters, Tasha and Tina Allen of New Orleans,
Louisiana; stepson, Jason Fisher of New Orleans, Louisiana;. . .”

Gina did not adopt Jason, who is Mark’s biological son. Therefore, Jason is listed
in the survivor section of her obituary as a stepson. List adopted and biological
children first and then list stepchildren.

As it relates to a partner and a child, include in the survivor section only. A best practice is to list
children with their adoptive or biological parent. If the parent is listed as immediate family in the
partner’s obituary, his or her children should be listed accordingly. On the other hand, if the
parent is listed as a special relationship in the partner’s obituary, his or her children should be
listed accordingly.

Option #1 – For example (survivor section): “. . . Betty Station is survived by her

partner, Sherry Stewart and her two children, Shannon and Paul Stewart; parents,

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 Robert and Ann Station; three brothers, Robert Station, Jr. (Jill), Peter Station
(Dana), and Duke Station; . . .”

Option #2 – For example (survivor section): “Betty Station is survived by her

parents, Robert and Ann Station; three brothers, Robert Station, Jr. (Jill), Peter
Station (Dana), and Duke Station; partner, Sherry Stewart and her two children,
Shannon and Paul Stewart; and a host of family and friends.”

What if the relationship between an adopted child and adoptive parent becomes strained?
As stated earlier, unless parental rights are forfeited, an adopted child or adoptive parent cannot
disown the other. The same is true for biological relationships. The parent-child relationship
remains unbroken. However, it is possible for them to disassociate or disinherit. It is not ideal,
though, to omit a child or parent from an obituary. Consider the impact on family research and
genealogy.

For more information, please visit http://www.thepeoplesbiographer.com.

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© 2009 Yvonne Sullivan