Terren Lee

Group 10
Complaints into Commitment
November 6th, 2014

Without Risk There is no Success

Have you ever feared to fail at one point in your life? Perhaps it was in athletics,
academics, socially, with your family, or significant other. Life is full of choices and
challenges. The point of all of these trials is to overcome them and strive to be the best
you can be. Focusing on what your goals are and to persevere through the hard times
and to do all you can to succeed. Sometimes we are faced with complaints that diminish
the drive to continue to succeed. We can overcome these complaints to ultimately
achieve excellence in our lives. I have a complaint. My major does not appeal to me
anymore. Which leads me to not have a desire to go to class, then would lower my
GPA, which would then not allow me to declare any major. Ultimately, I want to
graduate college so that I may get a well-paying job to provide for my family. I value
family because no matter what they are always there for you. My family has always
been there for me and I want to show that type of love to my future family. Although I
would not be able to do that if I cannot provide for a family. My risk was to take matters
into my own hand and admit I was not doing enough and reach out for help. I went to
my advisor to explain the situation. It may not have been fixed right away but there are
steps that I have taken to continue to grow and strive for excellence.
In my personal complaint I realized I was not striving for excellence at all.
My grades were not good enough to declare for my current major, Business
Management. I looked at the courses I have taken in the past and noticed I did not
enjoy any of the classes I did poorly in. I was not sure what to think about it besides I
should have tried harder. After pondering on this I wanted to think of what I enjoy doing,
which is weightlifting and videogames. Oddly enough I have taken no courses related to
either of these majors. My safe and modest risk was “manning up” and admitting I failed
and try to start fresh by talking with my advisor. This was a risk because I didn’t want to

be judged by doing poorly or feeling worse than I already do because I cannot move on
until I change majors/ retake courses. My first roadblock would be my pride as a guy. I
did not want to admit that I could not continue in my major. I thought I was able to
endure and continue through this dilemma and get out of college. I assumed as long as
I tried to go to class I could succeed. I assumed that this would not be that big of a deal
for my future and I would be able to find a job after college, but the thought of enjoying
my job never crossed my mind until later. At that moment I was committed, took action
to align my values with my current situation. I know that I wanted to provide for a family
and perhaps if I did not enjoy my job I would not be as good of a leader for my family, as
loving as I would like, or even too busy to go to their sport events. I wanted my values to
guide my actions. I went to my advisor and explained my situation to her. I explained my
roadblocks and a fear of failing in something I enjoy. I wanted to make reasonable goals
that I could accomplish. Avoid a situation or class that I would not enjoy and stay in my
values. Being dominantly a Golden I am more in touch with my emotions then most
males. I tend to experience emotions on a greater scale then most but I do not normally
let them dictate my actions. Emotional agility has been something I have consciously
been working on and could apply to this complaint and modest risk. My stimulus would
have been realizing that I have failed classes last semester, and do not enjoy my major.
My primary instinct would be to quit, give up right now and stop going to college.
Luckily, I have a choice to either be defeated or take action to succeed. Through
emotional agility and not letting the stress control my decision I was able to expand my
emotion and create room for emotion to strive for excellence.
When I made the decision to give my all and meet with my advisor Keri Snyder in
the Carson College of Business on the first floor of Todd Hall I went in with fear. I was
nervous to be seen as a failure and a quitter because I wanted a different major. I was
afraid all the progress I have made would be all for not. That I could not graduate with in
two years. I went in expecting the worst. As I started explaining my situation, last spring
I failed one class, had nothing higher than a B- in any class, that I did not have a high
enough cumulative GPA to declare my major. I was over whelmed with anxiety and
wanted to leave right away. Just ask what classes to take next semester and get it over
with. I knew that those feelings were impulsive that I came here for a purpose, to see

what I can do to switch majors or find some classes I can take to boost my GPA that I
can also minor in. As Keri and I started to talk I was shocked that she was very
understanding. She wanted to see me succeed and do something I enjoyed. We
continued to talk and figure out what I enjoy. I told her about my enjoyment for computer
games and I thought it was interesting to gain more knowledge of how programming
works and how coding affects a game. On the other scale of the spectrum I am also
interested in kinesiology. I love looking at the functions of the human body, how
muscles work and how your diet can help assist physical peak. To look at bones,
endorphins, tissues and see how everything is so detailed and serves a purposeful
function. We continued talking and processing everything out. She told me even if I
switch majors I would still not have a high enough GPA to declare for a major. I was
disappointed to hear that but we came up with a solution to take two electives of my
choice, one computer science class, and one sports science pre requisite class. We
also decided to retake one of my classes from spring semester along with the rest of my
UCORE classes to take for my college degree. She later came to the decision to have
me switch advisors to a deciding advisor. I was confused at first why I needed to switch,
but she explained that it seemed that I was undecided what I wanted in a major and
what I ultimately wanted. I agreed with her comment and it was accurate I was lost and
did not know what to do. I wanted to be reassured why and she further explained that
she was there for Business Majors only and I would need to report to Lighty Student
Services Building to meet with my new advisor. My new advisor is Katherine Lovrich
and we conversed via email to decide an advising time for November 10 th. Although this
wasn’t the solution I had in mind she is specific for students that are undecided in their
major which brings me comfort that I am in good hands. When navigating through my
risk it did not go as planned, but it did work out for the best and a solution was found. I
was able to see the situation evolve, find a solution to my GPA problem by retaking a
class, taking classes I’m interested in and taking UCORE classes to boost my
cumulative GPA. I was given to a new advisor in hopes to guide me through school and
help me find courses which I enjoy and will excel in. After seeing this unfold before me
and all the emotions I felt I was glad I stepped into my growth zone. I was able to
overcome the fear or being judged or called a failure and use my emotional agility to

make a choice not controlled by stress or fear. Rather I was able to act and take a
committed action that aligned with my values to look into the future and think about my
family and the importance it is to find a well-paying job that I can enjoy. These course
concepts helped my through my decision making process and helped my realize that as
long as I stay committed in my values I will be able to stay level headed and driven to
excel for my family.
Fairly recently a new situation that has devised in my life. I have an old friend that
I have started to develop feelings for and want to pursue those but at the same time I
am currently involved with another girl. The situation is I care about both of them deeply
but I don’t want to hurt either of them. My complaint is that I have given a lot of time and
thought into this and I am nervous to end things with this current girl to pursue my old
friend. I don’t want to hurt anyone and wouldn’t act impulsively but being a Golden on
the Johari Board I just want everyone to be happy. I want to address the situation
because it is important to be to not feel like I am stuck in a relationship that I feel like is
not as deep as I want. I have talked to her before about us and where she wants this to
go and she is definitely going to study abroad after spring semester and I won’t be able
to see her. She doesn’t want to do long distance so I don’t want to get attached and
have my heart get broken. Also at the same time if I don’t put an effort the relationship
has no chance in growing. Currently she is at the University of Idaho just fifteen minutes
away. I don’t have a car currently and we haven’t seen each other in over a week and a
half. Our texting and instant messaging has started to become less and less. We seem
to be separating but at the same time we haven’t seen each other in a while. I want to
be up front and real with her. My safe and modest risk seems like almost a panic zone
risk, to end things with her. I feel nervous and scared but by consciously using defusion
to find freedom from self-limiting beliefs such as she will be upset and hate me forever. I
want to make sure I follow through with this and not be tied down by unpleasant
assumptions that will eventually make me unhappy. When having this conversation with
her I will need to make sure to use “I” statements and not “you” statements. I want to
give her feedback in the sense that it’s not that I’m leaving you for someone else but
rather that we are headed in separate directions. I want to explain in a way that will not

overwhelm her or make her feel that she is the problem, but rather that it is not the right
time for us to pursue each other. It will be hard but it is necessary to move on and grow.
Throughout life we are faced with trials. I recognized that I was trying to
overcome them the wrong way. Instead of visioning how much better my life would be if
I did it this way, I needed to find the issue at the root. I would envision my success and
not act on it I was content complaining. Now I can live stress free and overcome my
roadblocks and continue to grow. I will be able to communicate and act healthier. “Life is
like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re going to get.” I know that I will be
able to hit a curveball when it comes at me now.