Monica Vartazaryan

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Professor Vana DerOhanessian

English 115
24 September 2014
Literature: Friend or Foe?
Five minutes. Ten minutes. Thirty minutes. An hour. There I am, sitting alone in my
room and staring at a blank document. Ideas are rushing through my head as if theyre being
chased by cops. I type, then delete...type, then delete. Im in a constant struggle to try and get my
thoughts out onto the paper. The clock is ticking and Im sitting there in depression and anxiety.
Then I begin making up excuses: I hate school, Why is this important? I dont need this in
the future, I hate my life, All this complaining and my document is still blank. I kept putting
it off, and like the saying goes, I put the pro in procrastination. As you can see, writing has
always been one of my weaknesses. I think of myself as more of a numbers, mathematical
person. By taking multiple years of English courses, I am still learning how to become a better
writer. My senior year in high school completely changed the way I felt towards literature
because I was able to write something I was passionate about that made me realize I enjoyed
writing.
All throughout my academic life, I was never good at writing essays. In fact, I dreaded
writing them. I always had trouble starting out my papers and getting my thoughts organized.
Still today, I just stare at my computer screen for a long while, constantly hoping the words will
magically appear. After a few hours, I would start typingregardless if my thoughts sucked. As

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I type, numerous ideas come to me all at once and I try to get everything down. Then, a couple of
revisions later, my essay finally comes together and I can breathe again. Going onwards, if you
think about it, writing is quite magical. You write one idea, thought, or word down, and the next
thing you know the rest of your paper starts coming out naturally. It was never until high school,
senior year to be exact, where I realized I actually loved writing.
August 12, 2013. It was the first day of senior year. My day was going pretty good so far
and next it was time for English class. As I was entering the classroom, I felt a rush of
nervousness flowing throughout my body. English was never my strong subject and it was very
important to do exceptional, for it was my last year of high school. One main thing that had been
bothering me since freshman year was the Senior Project. This assignment was mandatory for all
seniors. We were required to write a persuasive, six page minimum, paper on any topic we
wanted, conduct fieldwork at a location of our choice, and create an overall product. This sense
of freedom was both an advantage and disadvantage because there were multiple topics to
choose from. In my case, I was interested in the medical field, therefore, I chose to do my project
on the topic of pharmacy. Going onward, the Senior Project was a very rigorous process. We
were required to get the topic we chose to write about approved by the board of teachers. In my
case, I went deeper into the subject of pharmacy and decided to write about why prescription
drugs should not be advertised directly to consumers. I was pretty confident that I had made a
good decision, but this confidence was immediately crushed when I asked one of my former
English teachers to give me some advice. To this day, I still remember how much this teacher
hated my idea. She completely disregarded my thoughts and asked me to start over with a new
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topic. I was infuriated. It was in my nature to ignore everything she had said that day and to
pursue my paper the way I wanted.
Talking about this day reminds me of a portion from Mother Tongue by Amy Tan. In
her paper, Tan had stated, [...] perhaps they also have teachers who are steering them away from
writing and into math and science I happen to be rebellious in nature and enjoy the challenge
of disproving assumptions made about me (Tan 5). This reflects onto my experience because
my former English teacher was steering me away from the topic I wanted to something
completely different. I, like Tan, also enjoy disproving assumptions made about me. After
working on my paper for about two months, I received an A on it and numerous students and
teachers enjoyed reading it. Im glad I stuck to my gut and didnt feel put down by my teacher
because, in the end, I came out in victory.
For the process of writing my Senior Project paper, I did all my research, found important
articles, and had everything ready to begin. But the moment I sat in front of my computer to
begin typing, my mind went blank and I was back to stage one. Sitting there staring at the screen,
waiting for the words to magically appear. I knew this wasnt going to get me anywhere so I
began typing the first thing that popped into my head. I probably wrote the first draft of that
paper over ten times. It just wasnt working and I was about ready to give up. I knew that giving
up was not an option therefore I thought, if I keep adding and removing details, revising, asking
for help, my paper would eventually come together. I was right. I wrote multiple first drafts,
second drafts, got help from a few English teachers around school, and finally finished my paper.

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I was beyond happy with the final result and I had never felt that way about anything I had ever
written. I felt superior in that exact moment. I could breathe again.

The Senior Project made me realize how much I actually enjoyed writing. Once I started,
I couldnt stop. Ideas kept lingering inside of my head and I would try to splatter them one by
one onto my paper. Having the freedom of being able to write about anything I wanted felt great,
especially because I was writing about a topic that I wanted to pursue as a career. On top of that,
there was also the added satisfaction of proving my former English teacher wrong. I could
express myself in ways unimaginable, and let out any thoughts or opinions I had. Throughout the
last year of high school, I learned more than I did my whole academic life. The most important
thing I learned was how to become a better writer and to appreciate literature. It is like a whole
other world and theres no right or wrong answer. I could expand my thoughts as far as Id like.
This experience of my paper writing process reminded me of the reading, Shitty First
Drafts by Anne Lamott. This reading was an excerpt from her popular book, Bird by Bird. In it,
Lamott stresses the importance of letting out those shitty first drafts that then lead to better,
more clear second and third drafts. One main thing that Lamott said in this excerpt that really
stuck with me was, In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really
shitty first drafts. (Lamott 1). I completely agree with this saying because, I too, have to let out
all my thoughts on suckish first drafts and eventually create a clear and concise second and third
draft. The writing process takes time and effort. But, there are also the people who are able to sit
down and, in an instant, fully go through and write a perfect piece. I am definitely not one of
those people. Anne Lamotts process of writing shitty first drafts is the best way to become a
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better writer, in my opinion. I believe that she speaks for most of the writing community, and
students, in this excerpt. A friend of mine says that the first draft is the down draft -- you just

get it down. The second draft is the up draft -- you fix it up And the third draft is the dental
draft, where you check every tooth, to see if its loose or cramped or decayed [...] (Lamott 3). I
really enjoyed this quote and I feel that everyone should be exposed to Lamotts Shitty First
Drafts because it can really help an amateur writer become something great.
Though I continue to struggle with writing to this day, I know Im not alone. There are
many people and resources around me that can help me better my writing, I just need to grasp
them. For example, there are teachers around campus, online sources, peers, and the list goes on.
I learned that there is nothing wrong with getting help and that writing does not have a right or
wrong answer nor is it always perfect, it can always be improved. Furthermore, my Senior
Project experience of high school made me realize how important literature really is. I grew a
special connection with writing because I was talking about something that I was extremely
passionate towards. I learned this was the exact reason I found writing to be very enjoyable. I
hope everyone encounters that specific moment in their life where they realize their true potential
in literature, just like I did.

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Works Cited
Lamott, Anne. Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. New York: Anchor, 1995.
Print.
Tan, Amy. The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings. New York: Putnam, 2003. Print.