Brandon Gerlach

English 100
Professor Duran
26 September 2014

Both Exceeding and Struggling At Once

My Geometry teacher flatters me when he says Great job Brandon! Your math skills
have exceeded my expectations. I havent seen the quality of work youve done in many years.
At the same time that I was getting complemented, I was also being put down by my Chemistry
teacher who always said I dont understand why you dont understand? What dont you get
about the curriculum? I was fortunate enough to have recognized my strengths and weakness in
my sophomore year of high school, a younger age than most. A time where I felt welcome in a
classroom was when I was taking a Geometry course. I learned that I was more comfortable with
my math skills than most other areas of learning. A time where I didnt feel welcome in a
classroom was in my confusing Chemistry class.
My Geometry class was in a section of the course called Proofs and I came up with a new
step in proving that a certain polygon was parallel. My teacher commented, Wow, I never
looked at it that way. Great job! It seemed like I knew the material like the back of my hand. I
was able to apply not only the material, but myself to what we were learning as well as outside of
the classroom. I was forced to be self-reliant, kind of like how the diarist of Entry 57 from The
Freedom Writers Diary was forced. This student is convinced that a self-reliant person takes
action, leaving nothing to chance and everything to themselves. Most people go through math
courses thinking that the work involved is all about numbers. Im just not good at math and
Im horrible with numbers are the two most common excuses that are given for not doing well

in a math course. I believe that most math courses are not based on numbers, but based on a
language. Thats right. I believe that math is just another language. The way that we speak
English is the same way that people should go about improving in their math class. The reason
why my Geometry class was so easy for me was because I knew every single term, definition,
and example for that term there was in the book. Everything just made complete sense to me. I
was completing the homework for the week by the time the bell rang at the end of the period. 55
minutes was all it took me. The reason it was so easy for me to complete my work was because
of the extremely detailed notes I took in class. I made it easy for myself by highlighting
important terms like exterior, alternate, and consecutive angles, and giving myself a variety of
examples like a picture of linear forms intersecting at points to create angle measures, so that
when it came down to a problem, I had my notes to refer to. Once the language of the subject is
understood, it allows for different ideas and new inputs. If the material is really understood, new
ways and steps to do problems can be found.
Since I was understanding the material so well, my participation was outstanding. I was
raising my hand for each and every question. I could sense the envious faces staring me down as
I sat up straight, my chest puffed, and my hand raised confidently high. I felt like nothing could
stop me! Except for my teacher. He said, Okay Brandon. We all know that you know this stuff.
Keep your hand down, Im no longer calling on you. Are you serious!? It got to the point where
my teacher wouldnt even call on me anymore because of the amount of faith he had in me and
my math skills. Even though my teacher stopped calling on me completely, I still wanted to
continue participating to give myself academic fulfillment. Once my Geometry class ended, I
didnt think too much about the subject until about a year and a half after the class ended when I
began student tutoring for the same teacher that I previously had. I remember thinking, Oh no,

what if I forget how to do a problem? What if I forget how to do it completely? But luckily,
once I heard all the terms and concepts, everything in my mind began to click. I was beyond
shocked. The material stuck with me because I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it because I understood the
material. I remember the curriculum so well because I was forced to understand, not memorize.
Mr. Brinton, my Geometry teacher, told us that memorizing can only get you as far as youre
using it, but once you understand something, you can remember it for a lifetime. It may seem
like I had everything under control when it came to school, but I definitely had a class that I was
struggling with.
Ive never been very good when it came to science classes. I never felt like I could fully
apply myself because I didnt enjoy it, and the language was completely foreign to me. I can
relate to the diarist of Entry 18 from The Freedom Writers Diary because he and Ms. Gruwell
were not on the same continent, let alone the same page. At first he just sat there trying to glue
together any two thoughts that seemed to even break surface, but still he found nothing. I went
through the whole year in my Chemistry class with an F and full of constant confusion. This is
the only class that I really struggled with because I am not a very big reader myself.
Unfortunately, this class involved a lot of reading and note taking. Rather than sitting there and
observing, it required that I sit at a table and read the text book for countless hours. That isnt the
way that I like to learn. I like to see how something is done then being able to apply it to what we
are learning. Instead, my Chemistry teacher, Mr. Sullivan, expected us to read the chapters that
he planned on going over for the week and know the key terms so that when we began working
on the labs, we would know what we were talking about. I found it difficult to keep up with the
reading and I didnt feel confident walking into the classroom each day. I felt stressed. I was
constantly worrying about what was going to come next. When it would come time for the tests,

I would try to cram as many key terms into my head as I could, because it seemed impossible to
understand what is known as Chemistry. This is a perfect example of a time that I didnt feel
welcome in the class because I felt like everyone knew the answers to each problem except for
me. Not only that, but the language it took to understand what seemed so simple to others was
like trying to find a cure for an incurable cancer for me, impossible. I tried all throughout the
year but nothing was sticking in my mind.
The language that everyone was using in class got harder and harder to understand the
further behind I became in the reading. Its not that I didnt want to put in the time and try to
understand the material, my reading comprehension just hasnt been the best. It has definitely
affected the way I have learned throughout all my years of being in school. I remember always
getting asked by my teacher, What dont you understand about this? He always seemed to be
frustrated with me because of my lack of time involvement when it came to his class. The
situation I was in was actually the complete opposite. I put time into the class, its just the way I
learn, isnt the same way that he expected his students to learn. The only thing I can do now is
prepare myself for when I get another teacher like that and try to apply myself as best as I can to
whatever it is Ill be doing.
When looking back on the past, it is really a reflection on who you are today. The choices
and decisions that were made, define who you are in the present day. Not only does looking back
on what classes I struggled in, and what classes I did well in help me understand what kind of
person I am, but also what I need to improve on in order to be the person that I want to become. I
definitely have the same problem today with reading comprehension and understanding the
language that is used in the classroom, but I now have a better understanding as to how to fill the
gap between confusion and the ability to thrive.