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Theresa, Navarro
Professor Ditch
English 113A, 3:30pm
30 September 2014
Parent Norms When It Comes to Gender Roles
In the articles, Women, Men, and Society (2003), Claire Renzetti & Daniel Curran and
No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to Childrens Gender
Nonconformity (2006), Emily Kane both support their explanations by demonstrating the parent
norms of how they want their children to have the same gender roles as their sex because of the
fact that most parents dont want their childrens gender to misidentified. In todays society,
most parents still follow the parent norms of the son only having a masculine side and the
daughter to only have a feminine side just to make sure that their children have the same gender
as their sex. In my life, Ive noticed that parent norms are happening around me with relatives
and even in my personal experience of when I was a child. Parent norm is something most
people grow up with.
As a parent norm, it is expected for parents to have certain expectations bases on the sex
of the baby they are having. In Renzetti & Currans article, it mentions Parents do have
different expectations of their babies and treat them differently, simply on the basis of sex.
(Renzetti & Curran, pg. 76) for instance, when parents are expecting a boy, they expect and want
him to play sports, play with cars, and wear blue. They expect him to get dirty and misbehave,
but when it comes to girls there are different expectations. For example, parents who follow the
parent norms would expect that the girl wears pink, play with dolls, and wear skirts that have

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glitter. They also expect her to behave and stay clean. These are examples of what is expected to
come out when a parent follows the parent norms.
Moreover, following the parent norms, parents usually dont want other people to
misidentify their daughters or sons gender as the opposite of their sex. In fact, Renzetti &
Curran mentions in their articles that parents put effort into ensuring that others identify their
childs sex correctly. (Renzetti & Curran, pg. 77) A parent who has a girl will pierce her ears,
put her in a dress that is pink & has glitter, and theyll even put a hair band on her just to inform
others that she is a girl both in gender and in sex. Its a natural thing for parents to want to justify
their childrens sex and gender because of the fact that most people cant tell by looking at the
face.
In addition, when it comes to parents norms, the parent will tell their child that something
their playing with or doing are either only for girls or its only for boys. In Kanes article, she
mentions when their sons are Playing with nail polish and makeupevoked negative
responses (Kane, pg. 93) which will usually have a negative response by the father because
of the fact that hell most likely believe that its not a masculine thing to do. Some parents will
tell their sons that little girls put nail polish on, little boys dont (Kane, pg.93) just to make
sure that they dont change their gender role or perform a feminine role. This is often something
that parents tell their kids when they do different gender roles from their sex.
Also some parents norms wont let their sons play with nail polish, there are some parent
norms where parents accepted, and often even celebrated, their sons acquisition of domestic
abilities. (Kane, pg.91) Parents who accept the fact that their sons likes to play with babies

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dolls, its their parent norms. In Kanes article, she explains how parents who accept their sons
playing with feminine toys, see this as a positive thing.
By extension, my brother has two kids, a boy and girl. When they found out that they
were having a girl, my family was instantly buying pink dresses, skirts, head bands, shirts that
had glitter, etc. But when they had a boy, everyone would talk about how hes going to play
football and basketball. There were different expectations of each of them before they were born.
They were already setting a gender role for each of their kids which follow the parent norms.
Now that my niece is older, her parents still follow some of the parent norm just not as much as
before because of the fact that they cant control everything she does, theyre more open of what
she does and play. With my nephew, his parents still follow the parent norms because of the fact
that hes still a baby so they have more control of what he wears. When he get a bit bigger where
hes more in control, Im sure theyll still follow the parent norms.
Also, I have a personal experience of my own. When I was a child my parents always
dressed me up in dresses and did my hair. My parents wanted me to perform a feminine gender
role. For example, my dad would tell my mom to make sure that I never had my hair shorter then
shoulders because he believed that having short hair were only for boys. Soon enough I started
to believe that too. I never wanted to cut my hair short because of what I was told. When I was a
little girl, my parents had the same parent norms as the one I have said before. In addition, I
would eat, I would perform a masculine side because of the fact that I would burp. My mom and
dad would get mad at me because of the fact that Im a girl not a boy. They would always ask
and tell me Are you a boy? No youre not. Only boys burp, girls dont Now that Im older I
still portray a masculine side where I still burp, but not as much as I when I was younger. Even
as the third child, my parents would give me a handy down from my older sister because of the

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fact that she was a girl and her clothes were for girls only. My mom wouldnt give me my older
brothers clothes because then my appearance would be a boy which is what my parents were
avoiding. It was part of the parent norm to make sure that my gender appearance was and is the
same as my sex.
Additionally, I have a cousin who would play with nail polish when he was younger. His
older brother would often make fun of him because of the fact that only girls put on nail polish
(Kane, pg.93) but his brother wasnt the only one who disapproved of him performing a feminine
role. His mother wouldnt want him to play with nail polish because she didnt want her son to
be gay. He also enjoyed sweeping; my cousin would often show what we would call a
feminine side. The way his mom would react to his feminine performance would be considering
her as following the parent norms. She wanted her son to be interested in playing with cars rather
than playing with nail polish or making a mess instead of cleaning. Now that hes older he no
longer shows a feminine side. The parent norm of telling him he cant play with nail polish
because its not masculine has reflected on how he acts now.
Overall, parent norms still exist in todays society. People dont realize that these norms
are in our lives and often repeated by generations which are why it still exists today. No one is
aware of these norms, not even the parents who follow these norms. These norms are can happen
in anyones lives, even people you know and are close to you. If people were to pay attention to
these parent norms, then theyll realize that it has always been happening around them since they
were born.

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Works Cited
Renzetti, Claire & Curran Daniel Women, Men, and Society Person Education, Inc.
Composing Gender, 76-84(2003)
Kane, Emily. No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to Childrens
Gender Nonconformity Sociologists for Women in Society. Composing Gender, 91-97
(2006)